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#so it's important considering the long run
akutasoda · 1 day
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“the longer you wait, the closer you get to suffocating”
--love wasn't necessary to be a stoneheart, and so he buried it deep beneath facade's. so far below that he couldn't recognise the signs of love even when they were staring right at him.
--warnings - gn!reader, angst no comfort(?), some fluff, unknowingly pining??, maybe ooc, wc - 1.8k
--a/n: i think im allergic to making him happy :/ anyway i feel like this is kind of rushed but rrghhh (shouts to the amazing @mitsvriii and @theother-victoria for proofreading)
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aventurine never loved.
the stoneheart never knew the embrace of a loved one, soft-spoken genuine words, or even what it was to even recognise the signs. love was a foreign concept. something that wasn't needed in the world of contracts and lies, it was something that could be used against you, to punish someone foolish enough to think with their heart and not their brain.
he didn't need it anyway. in some distant past of golden sands and gleaming smiles, love was common. childlike wonder and affection was exchanged between families and those considered family, but that didn't last long. scorching flames rained down upon them, loved ones buried beneath the serene sands and forgotten.
the love made it hard to let go. traumatic to watch as every single person the boy cared for succumbed to pain and death's cold embrace, his tears did nothing. they didn't convince those that started the massacre to stop, to spare even one shred of the boy's livelihood because they didn't have love. the massacre was only a means to an end - emotional attachments were insignificant.
the scars never healed, the sights were forever engraved into the young avgins mind. the only time he could really dwell on them however was in the rare moments of silence he had. from his life as a young avgin to his life as a stoneheart, at every step and every turn something happened to him.
for someone blessed with luck, it never felt like it. they say that the end justifies the end, but he would prefer the end never arrived if he had to go through all the suffering and misfortune to get there. it was as if his luck only worked if he went through mental turmoil and struggle beforehand.
no matter what he lost, it all turned out for him in the long run. but was losing everything he had worth the luck that allowed him to live on with those memories?
---✩
you'd met through mutual acquaintances, those who weren't as afraid to let people into their lives - namely topaz.
he'd caught a glimpse of you with topaz as he roamed the halls of one of the IPC’s main buildings. naturally he was intrigued. aventurine had never seen you before and, judging from how close you and topaz were acting, you must have been of some importance to her.
topaz was approached by her colleague after you'd bid farewell a while ago. she had no obligation to actually tell him who you were, topaz liked maintaining a good work - life balance and you were a part of her personal life, aventurine was mainly a part of her work life. however, she obliged anyway, she trusted him more than the other stonehearts.
it was a short explanation, you were simply a friend of hers that she'd asked to stop by because work was piling up lately and topaz couldn't have seen you otherwise. topaz could see aventurines interest from a mile away, uncharacteristic coming from him, but she knew that he would play it off as a passing intrigue - still out of character in her opinion.
but topaz wasn't as blind as aventurine insisted he was and so perhaps she deliberately tried to ask you to visit her just before she knew aventurine was going to be around. she wasted no time in subtly introducing the two of you properly, before anyone knew it, you and aventurine proved to be an unrivaled match.
it was almost shocking how quickly you worked your way into the stonehearts life. developing a closer relationship than with anyone else aventurine knew - even topaz was shocked. soon it was like aventurine had known you since before he adopted such an identity.
you gave him a warmth that he could only dream of now. one that a previous form knew of well but now, it was a foreign concept. he couldn't recognise the signs, see what everyone else saw when you two were around each other. your constant affection was a clear sign that you were friends, but eventually somewhere along the line, that friendship blossomed into a longing for something more.
you tried subtle advances, hints and such to suggest a genuine interest in aventurine as something more. everything you laid down, he didn't pick up - if he did, he didn't show it.
however, aventurine was blind. a fool when it came to looking emotions in the face, unable to see the signs and pushing anything that bubbled to the surface as far down as possible. aventurine didn't need anything other than acquaintances or business partners - friends were a wild exception but even he sometimes denied it mentally.
everyone that knew it well enough knew, it was glaringly obvious. even to veritas as he watched the stoneheart perk up at the notification his phone showed him. undoubtedly a message from you, basing the assumption on how quickly he responded or how he smiled like a dumbstruck fool.
about half an hour ago, aventurine barged into the doctor's office and slumping down in his chair. ratio didn't care, too used to it by this point and too focused on the current problem that plagued his mind and caused him to work tirelessly to solve.
it was about ten minutes ago that aventurine resigned to his phone after ratio's lack of interaction with him - he sighed as the doctor clearly saw more interest in his equations. now, he was messaging you.
“any developments” ratio’s voice snapped aventurines head up from his phone, looking quizzically to the doctor
he paused “what do you mean?” slowly setting his phone down
now it was ratio's time to sigh “you and your obvious infatuation” pointing toward the stonehearts phone
“what? no.” a nervous laugh escaped him “acquaintances, that's all we are. you're thinking too much into this doctor”
to ratio, aventurine was clearly in denial. dismissing the situation at any given time and so he went back to his equation - it was more entertaining than fighting with aventurine’s denial.
“fine, forget i asked” ratio began to shift his entire attention away from the gambler. aventurine stared at the doctor for a bit too long
he could sense the other man's gaze and so ratio merely sighed “let me offer you some advice gambler”
aventurine almost wanted to laugh, veritas ratio offering him emotional advice. a rather comical situation in his opinion
“you have to put your heart out there, it may be broken but that's how you know you have one” ratio’s words halted him, staring almost wide eyed as the doctor retreated
maybe he should've taken that advice.
---✩
when aventurine was first assigned his mission for penacony, he immediately told you. there were no specific details involved, just that he was going away for a bit due to work and so wouldn't be around. it wasn't entirely uncommon for him to do so, and you merely acknowledged it and wished him well, a safe return even.
unfortunately, aventurine hadn't told you a key detail. he never planned to return. guilt consumed him when he didn't tell you, hearing you wish him well really set it in, but this was a choice he made. one that he was determined to not go back on.
as soon as opal gave him the whole mission brief, he knew what had to be done. accepting the mission meant accepting his fate, both him and opal were very aware. neither of them stopped aventurine however.
but aventurine didn't know how you'd react. he could guess that it wouldn't be well, seeing as barely anyone would react well to someone they cared about telling them that they planned to never return after a mission. so aventurine withheld his real intent in order to save you the trouble.
aventurine didn't want a fussy send off. admittedly the way he planned to go would be anything but quite or lowkey, but he knew that you'd try and stop him. to convince him to change his mind and find an alternative that would involve him seeing another day.
but you didn't know.
aventurine reciprocated your genuine smile when you wished him well before he finally left for penacony. that would be the last time he saw that smile.
---✩
penacony was flashy, he expected no less from the planet of festivities. bright lights, billboards, unique food on every corner and varieties of people. they would all be the witnesses to his planned spectacle, the more the merrier in his opinion.
he couldn't miss the way that his eyes lingered for a beat more than they should on certain stores. the products inside temporarily making his thoughts drift back to you, making a mental reminder to himself to buy it for you later but reminding himself that it would be pointless - although his subconscious would make him buy it and immediately sent it to you.
even in the chaos that was penacony and it's guests, you still found a way to wind up in his thoughts - bringing his thoughts about the mission to a temporary halt and having a moment of respite. brief memories flashing in his mind that made him stop and smile, the sentimentality getting to him.
but it wouldn't change his mind.
aventurine never allowed his emotions to get in the way of work. you wouldn't make an exception. he stopped caring for his own life ages ago, time and time again it was beaten into him and it was the only way he could've gotten this far.
emotions had never done anything but hurt him, caused him more pain than worth. he was no longer kakavasha. he was aventurine, one of the ten stonehearts and they valued results, not petty feelings. no business deal worked out when you let your heart get in the way.
no plan worked when every minute he was thinking about what could've been. aventurine was being dumb, you wouldn't love him. all those signals were simply you being a friend, nothing more - and he should be happy that you even saw him as such. aventurine shouldn't be wishing for more.
a heavy sigh escaped him as he snapped out of his thoughts. the lights at clock studios theme park seemed brighter, tauntingly so, as of they were out to mock him with happiness that could've been and yet he still chose the darkness of death. tucking his hand behind him, shaking, he stepped heavy steps toward the stage.
the show must go on.
---✩
it was cold.
pitch black endlessness illuminated by the symbol of nihilty’s form.
he looked down at his hands, shaking more than ever and he wasn't even putting his life on the line, then he looked up.
kakavasha.
had he died? were these the final moments of aventurine?
he'd soon learn they weren't. and as that emanator walked away, he realized that he lived. he failed. and yet, was it really a failure if he could see you one more time?
maybe, just maybe, he could finally own up to his feelings.
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rest of the "series"
taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn, @https-sourlimes
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sugarushwriting · 2 days
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dedicated to @softkisshyunjin 🩷🫶🏽 thank u for the idea!! and omg thank u for having my notifs on.
kim seungmin
a man who’ve you noticed, but never even thought of in that way
until tonight
“say please.”
seungmin is not an idol in this drabble, but instead just a popular/important/rich figure somewhat (due to the event)
not proof read ☺️
wrote this like 2 times only to erase (he was gonna be a mob boss) then i was like naaah, then wrote this drabble in an hour
mhm hehe minors dni (please don’t)
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡
oh my. so many words, curses, thoughts, desires went through your head when you saw kim seungmin.
i mean as usual, he was a handsome guy, but today, no, today he just looked different. hit different, if you dare to say.
his short black hair. the tailored silk black suit, with the black shoes. silver necklace around his neck.
you wish that necklace was hanging above you.
the silver rings around his fingers.
imagine the marks they would leave on your flesh.
the way they would feel if seungmin was to run his fingers across your body. if his fingers were to plunge deep—
“you good?” you heard your friend say from beside you.
“huh?”
“were you even listening to me for the past 3 minutes?”
nope. “of course i was.” you lied to your friend. you were so thankful she brought you to this elite event that only the most important and powerful people could attend.
kim seungmin was one of them. you’ve known him since college, as you two were academic rivals in the debate club.
and he was just too good at it, it pissed you off. so much so you could never even imagine yourself looking at seungmin in anything but disgust.
it’s not like you found him ugly—no, quite the opposite in fact. he was cute, with his long fluffy hair—until today.
it was short. and it made his sharp features of his face stand out even more.
you inhaled a deep breath as your eyes raked over his silk suit. you sighed in defeat to yourself.
lately, you’ve been noticing how handsome he was. his shoulders, his lanky figure, the long fingers.
every. little. thing.
now that you two were graduated, and now completing internships at the same law firm, you had to see him almost everyday in a suit.
and he had to see you almost everyday in a dress or skirt—when you weren’t wearing pants.
seungmin preferred the skirts and dresses.
and he was happy you was wearing a short dress tonight so he could ogle your legs.
you don’t even know if you still considered him a rival, but you never thought you want to have seungmin take you to bed.
to have you begging on your knees for him to please you. you shook your head slightly trying to rid of your thoughts.
you were so screwed. the night was just beginning, and you were sure this even would last for the next four to five hours.
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
as time went on you found yourself stealing glances at seungmin when he wasn’t looking. or so you thought, but he caught you a few times.
little did you know, he was doing the same to you. wondering when you got so fucking hot. wondering when his mind went to imagining about debating you about world politics to imagining bending you over in a bed on all fours.
he needed some air and quick.
he walked through the event up some stairs pass the ballroom. he found a hidden area, with a small balcony over looking the courtyard.
he had to get himself together. just because you were stealing looks doesn’t mean anything, right?
he was always a menance because truthfully he found you cute and stupidly hot and attractive. especially when you argued and got passionate about said argument.
many times he thought about wanting to start a nasty argument with you just to tell you to shut up for you to bark back, “make me.”
he heard footsteps coming up the steps and almost didn’t hide until he heard it was your voice. he hid in the corner, in the shadows.
luckily for him, you were too busy talking to yourself.
“get over yourself! you can’t be thinking about him like that! not here! kim seungmin of all people? are you out of your mind?”
you spoke to yourself, hands going through your hair, occasionally smacking your forehead.
“kim seungmin, you cannot imagine him that way! there is no way you can imagine him naked! stop!”
you sighed and huffed, walking to the balcony, not even phased that the door was slightly opened, and not even aware of seungmin just feet away.
seungmin was holding in his laughter. even when you argued with yourself, you made the same hand gestures and facial expressions. it wasn’t until your next sentence that he revealed his hiding spot.
“he probably couldn’t even please me! yep that’s right! kim seungmin probably can’t even make me come!”
“to the hell i can’t! who told you that?”
you literally shrieked at the voice. you could be so unaware sometimes.
“how long have you been here!”
“long enough to hear your entire monologue including you making a bold statement that i can’t make you come.” seungmin said a bit annoyed.
you flustered, your face turning hot. “i—uh.” you couldn’t even make an excuse. you were caught. “why are you spying on me in the first place!”
“i wasn’t spying,” seungmin scoffs, “i was here first. i hid when i heard someone coming up the stairs just in case i wasn’t actually allowed to be up here.” he went on, the narrowed his eyes at you, “now, don’t change the subject. why did you say i couldn’t make you come?”
you swallowed. seungmin looked so offended at that statement and so fucking hot. you were speechless and shrugged.
enough was enough, seungmin thought. he saw your eyes lingering on him throughout the night, and often at your internship. he saw the lustfulness behind those eyes. he wasn’t dumb. you wanted him.
and he wanted you.
“get on your knees.”
“excuse you?”
“are you deaf or just slow? get. on. your. knees. brat.” seungmin remarked.
you huffed and mumbled, “i am not a brat.”
“fine. get on your knees, pup.”
you whimpered. seungmin’s voice was different. laced with something more dominant, more than his usual teasing or menacing side.
you obeyed and slid down to your knees, your dress riding up.
seungmin smirked. his hand when to cradle your face, his thumb swiping across your bottom lip.
“don’t know if i like you more like this, all nice and submissive, or if i prefer you bratty and defensive.”
“i’m not a brat!”
“mhm, definitely when you are bratty.” seungmin smiled, and slipped his thumb past your lips. “you don’t understand how much your mouth turns me on. the amount of times when we debated, i just wanted to shut you up.”
your tongue swirled his thumb, and he sighed in bliss. “so perfect. just for me.”
“seungmin you either hurry up or im walking away.” you threatened.
“i dare you to try.” he challenged.
of course stubborn you got off your knees and went to walk past seungmin, but he grabbed your elbow and spun you around so quickly, all you saw was a blur before he pulled your body to his.
he leaned down to your ear, “big mistake.”
that threat, the venom laced from his throat, just made you drip even more with wetness. it added on to what you were trying to calm down from the night.
you gulped when seungmin pushed you against the wall, your face and front end smushed. seungmin melted his front side to your back.
you felt the tent in his pants. you purposely pushed your ass to him, he hissed and pushed your hips away from him. he deeply groaned with a laugh that sent chills through your bones.
“playing with fire sweetheart.”
using his foot, he spread your legs, and pushed your dress to bunch it against your waist. your backside felt cold when he removed himself, only for a loud groan to leave your lips.
because seungmin smacked you. he smacked your ass so hard you were sure, that a handprint and ring marks would be left tomorrow, and for the next week.
and that made your cunt crave even more.
“do you like that, sweetheart?”
you couldn’t even lie so you nodded your head.
seungmin chuckled. he rubbed your ass to soothe the sting. “good to know you like playing dirty.”
another smack was landed on the other cheek and you bit your lip to keep quiet. seungmin didn’t like that.
he scolded, “i want to hear you.”
you stuttered, “but—but the people?”
“i don’t give a damn about them. i am more than happy to let them know how good i make you feel and how hard i make you come.”
he hasn’t even done those things yet, but yet his words sounded like a promise.
another two smacks came down to each cheek, causing you to groan out loud.
“more like it.”
seungmins fingers traced the lace of your underwear, before he slowly pulled it down your legs, signaling for you to lift your feet so he could rid them completely.
he slid them in his back pocket.
your forehead rested against the wall, waiting for his next move. you wasn’t expecting his fingers to immediately prod at your entrance.
“fuck so tight, sweetheart.” he hummed. “gonna stretch you out.”
and that he did. because seungmin used three fingers as he prepped you. rutting his fingers in and out at a fast pace, not even giving you mercy.
he had one thing to prove and he was close to it.
a kiss landed on the back of your shoulder, then a slight nibble, then he used his teeth. that just made it more pleasurable.
moans were slipping out your lips, at a pace that couldn’t keep up with how could he was making you feel.
the side of your face pushed against the wall, seungmin roughly pulled down the straps of your dress to under your breast, his free hand wrapping around your figure to grab one harshly in his hand, then twisted that nipped.
you moaned his name in pleasure, your hands against the wall to keep you upward.
then you felt it. the knot forming in your lower stomach. you bit your lip, as your moans became a pitch higher and seungmin knew you were close.
his fingers picked the pace up, his thumb tracing circles on your clit.
“oh my, seungmin im so close!” you grumbled, your knees getting weak.
then seungmin pulled his fingers out.
son of a bitch!
you turned around quickly, needing to rest your backside on the wall as your knees and thighs were losing strength.
you don’t care if he saw your bare breasts or cunt right now. you were seeing, red.
“you son of a bitch seungmin!”
“i thought you said i couldn’t make you come? im just doing what you said.” he smirked proudly.
you whined, you don’t care, you just need that orgasm. and you need it from the man in front of you!
“seungmin!”
“beg for it.”
“huh?”
“say please, sweetheart.”
“seungmin,” you began to argue rolling your eyes.
“say. please.” seungmin gritted. “or i walk out right now.”
you didn’t want to believe him, but you know he would. he would leave you dripping and left without your orgasm. you’ll cringe at yourself later.
“please seungmin!”
“please what?”
“please make me come! i know you can! i know you can make me feel good, just please!” you begged, your head hitting the wall behind you.
you were so frustrated, you didn’t realize how fast seungmin was when he pulled his dick out from his pants.
“all you had to say, sweetheart.” he mumbled in your ear, his breath sending more chills down your spine.
he kissed and teased your earlobe, then kissed below it, before he plunged his dick into you.
“fuck you seungmin!” you yelled out, the intrusiveness of his dick stretching you out more than you were used to.
“that you are.” he laughed, kissed your lips, then picked your legs up so they were wrapped around his waist.
“hold on to me.” he ordered and you did so, just as he began rocking his hips back and forth, at a bruising speed, trying to get both of you to chase your orgasms quickly before you two got caught.
he didn’t care if you both were heard, but the thought of another man walking in seeing you drool over him drilling into you, made him angry.
possessive.
jealous.
“ah seugnmin,” you moaned out, unsure of how to finish the sentence. he was making you speechless, and for once in your life, it was due to seugnmin doing something good to you.
seungmin groaned and gloated that his dick made you so speechless. he had you. he had you just where he wanted, now.
your hand went to the back of his next, gripping tight, as your other hand remained on his shoulder.
“seungmin, im close, please, please don’t stop.” you begged.
“i won’t sweetheart, i promise.” he stopped just for a second to kiss you deeply before he continued his ruthless thrusts.
your legs wrapped around his waist, his hands gripping your bare ass, he was able to sneak one hand in between where your bodies connected and rubbed your clit.
you tucked your head into his cheek, breathing, groaning, moaning, crying profanities as you felt another knot forming, and seungmin felt your walls closing in around him.
“that’s it, come around me.” then he demanded you to do so, “come around me now.”
he bit your earlobe sending you over the edge, your coming seeping out of you, onto seungmins cock, only for him to thrust two more times and his own come met yours inside you.
“fuck.” seungmin was out of breath as he kept your body up by pushing you against the wall, his attached to yours. his nose was buried in your neck as you felt his hot breath.
both of your chests was heaving so hard.
seungmin then laughed. “you owe me an apology. hurting my feelings saying i couldn’t make you come.” he whispered into your neck.
you chuckled as well. “im sorry seungmin. you proved me wrong.”
seungmin’s head lifted from your neck with a smile,
“can you say that one more time? i want to record it to make it my new alarm.”
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡
inspired by:
thank you tasaki
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biancasreign · 2 days
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CATCHING FEELS 2 | JEY USO
Part 1 | Part 3
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“Come on momma. We’re gonna get you and my nephew something to eat.” Sabrina rubbed her best friend’s stomach as they walked out the doctors office.
Kaliyah walked behind her friend slowly feeling sad as ever. Considering she found out she was having a baby boy you’d think she would be happy but she was feeling the exact opposite.
Just three months ago she found out she was two months pregnant with her baby and it felt so unreal. From the moment she found out she was pregnant she was filled with nothing but mixed emotions.
She even contemplated getting an abortion and showed up to the appointment but at the last minute she couldn’t bring herself to do it. The thought of having an abortion was more to burry her feelings about Jey rather than her not wanting a baby.
She wanted to keep her baby and that’s what she decided to do.
“What do you want to eat?”
“I’m not hungry. I just wanna go home.” Kaliyah told her as she put her seatbelt on and turned towards the window.
“I know you’re upset but you can’t starve my nephew. What does he want? A deluxe combo and a lemonade?” She teased.
Rolling her eyes Kaliyah broke into a small smile. The sound of food made her happy no matter what. These days all her son craved was Chick Fil A which was weird to her because she didn’t care for it too much before she got pregnant.
“Whatever, just give my son some food.”
It didn’t take them long to get their food considering how great Chick Fil A’s customer service was. The food didn’t stand a chance and was gone before she even got home.
“Call me tomorrow and stop being so sad!” Sabrina yelled as Kaliyah walked to the door and took her keys out.
“Bye Sabrina!” She stuck up the middle finger.
When she got in the house she stepped out of the clothes she was wearing and hopped in the shower. She was exhausted because all day Sabrina drove her around making her run errands with her in order to get her out the house. While she appreciated her friends effort all she wanted to do was stay in the house until the baby got here.
As she brushed her hair into a ponytail her phone vibrated with a message from a familiar number. Picking up her phone she read over the message before responding.
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): What u want?
I need to tell something important. Can I call you?
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): Nah, you can text me what you want before I change my mind about unblocking you
I’m pregnant
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): ???
????
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): So what you tryna say it’s mine?
Please don’t do that. You know it’s yours.
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): I don’t know nothing. Ima need a test before you put anything on me.
Nevermind, forget I even brought it up. You can just block me again.
I don’t know why I even wasted my time with you.
My and my baby will be fine.
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): Calm down, how I know you’re not fucking with me?
Why would I be wasting my time? You made it clear you don’t fucking like me. I’m putting my feelings and pride aside to reach out to you so my son can have a father in his life but really just forget it.
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): Son?
She read over her last message and decided to just leave it alone. She was over going back and for with him. If he didn’t believe her than that’s what it is.
Shaking her head she turned her phone off and prepared herself for some much needed sleep.
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lieutenantfloyd · 2 days
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Rainbow Cereal and Morning Confessions - Cyclone x Reader
Word Count: 1.4k
Summary: Over breakfast, you mention something that you noticed during the previous night, only for Beau to confess something that's been weighing heavily on his mind.
Warnings: Domestic fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of kids/pregnancy, Beau had a bad childhood and is bad with emotions but he's secretly a hopeless romantic.
Authors Note: This was originally a very different fic written with my OC in mind, but I loved this idea so much I couldn't help but rewrite it to post here! Based on some headcanons I posted in January.
Read on AO3
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“You talk in your sleep.” You say between mouthfuls of colorful fruity cereal. 
He eyes you sharply over his newspaper and takes a long swig off steaming black coffee. 
“No, I don’t.” He answers dryly. 
You twirl your spoon and give him a toothy grin. “Yeah, you do.” 
He sends you an eye roll before pushing his plate away and returning to his daily reading. 
Several minutes pass by without another word, but the silence between you is anything but awkward—It somehow never is.
 “What exactly do I talk about?” He asks in a low voice, and it takes all you have not to jump up and kiss him then and there. 
“National secrets, mostly.” You deadpan before quickly shoveling another spoonful of cereal into your mouth in a poorly planned attempt to stop your laughter. 
His eyebrows fly up so fast that you nearly choke. He leans across the table, using thick fingers to wipe away a stray drop of milk that escaped your mouth before leaning back into his previous position and waiting on you to regain your composure. 
“For real though, It was mostly gibberish with the occasional mention of pancakes.” You say nodding towards his plate. 
He sends you an annoyingly soft smile as a bit of color returns to his face. 
Your mind runs over his sleeping mumbles of the previous night, and you make a connection between his somniloquy and the handwritten notes you’d seen on his desk. 
“You never told me you speak French.” 
His handsome features shift into a look you’ve never seen before, and you feel his eyes scrutinize yours as if he’s deeply considering something. 
“Cajun French. It’s what my parents spoke.”
You nod softly, feeling suddenly awkward as you pick up on the unusual tone laced through his deep voice.
In the years between your first meeting and now, you have asked countless people—all of various rank and branch, along with a few civilians—about him. Your inquiries had always turned up the same. Nothing. No wife, no kids, and no known background prior to joining the Navy. He didn’t even have any social media to stalk. Aside from these intimate moments only you share with him, he’s a complete mystery. Practically a ghost.
“Were you and your parents close?” You ask softly.
“No.” He says. The finality feels sharp, but his tone falls flat. His voice feels nearly foreign to your ears.
His eyes fall to yours again, only this time they’re a confusing mix of vulnerable and guarded. You know instantly that something happened—something bad—and you choose not to push the topic any further.
You look down at your bowl, stirring the now soggy cereal around the colorful milk. He always chastises you for eating it, but it’s no different than how you nag at him for surviving off of coffee and pent up anger—a simmering rage so intertwined with him that you’ve often wondered where it stems from. Still seated in front of you, he’s staring off into space. You’re too afraid to ask yourself that question now.
“Do you want kids?” He asks suddenly. “With me, I mean.”
You nearly let out a playful—who else do you think I’d let knock me up?—but he still has that far-away look on his face, so you pause. Swallowing air as you gather your thoughts. 
“I… don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it.” You answer honestly, and he nods. 
“I hadn’t thought about it either. Not until you.” He confesses. 
“Having you in my life will always be the most important thing, but I realized that I’d probably like to be a dad.” He says. “And after I realized that, I also realized that I didn’t have anything from my own childhood to pass on to them.” 
You nod, rendered breathless by the conversation. God, he’d be a good dad. 
“Both my parents were Cajun. I remember that my mother was devoutly Catholic, and she raised me to speak French in a time when that just wasn’t what you did.” He pauses, only to resume after taking a deep breath. “I know now that they were complicated people. I choose not to think about them anymore.” He says in a voice so soft you nearly wonder if your mind made it up.
You nod along, giving him space to speak whatever is on his mind. You don’t let yourself question, aloud or otherwise, why he doesn’t speak of his father. 
“That was a long time ago—and a lot of the language is lost on me now—but I wanted something…positive…to pass on if I ever had a kid.” He confesses. 
You give him a soft smile before taking his hand across the table. 
“You’ve clearly thought a lot about this, and while I haven’t yet, I will.” You say. 
The conversation has taken such an intense turn that you felt shaky as you rose from your seat to clean up the breakfast dishes. 
You fall into a lull of comfortable normalcy, though the bits of his history he revealed hang heavy in your mind as you load the dishwasher. 
“Is there anything in particular you want to pass on? Anything I should learn…just in case?” You ask gently as you wipe your hands dry. It was a simple, genuine question, though by the gentle but shocked look on his face, you might as well have gotten on one knee and asked for his hand in marriage.
“I’ll think about it,” he says with the slightest teasing tone. 
You smile, happy to know nothing is weighing too heavy on him, and things are back to business as usual once again. 
“There’s a lot I want to tell you and more that I should, but..”
“Hey,” you say calmly “there’s no pressure. If you want to wax poetic about your entire life story or you never want to speak about it again, it’s fine. Childhoods are weird, and what matters is who you become after it all.”
He settles back into the chair, staring at you with nothing my pure adoration. Still, something has his shoulders tense, and something tells you that it’s the same thing that has words lying on the tip of your tongue.
“You’re a good man, Beau. And you’d make an amazing father.”
He rises to his seat, folds his newspaper—left over right, top over bottom, always—and drops it on the table. Cherry oak. Pretty, solid wood.
He crosses the short distance between you and kisses your head like the good man and partner he is. Without another word, he drops back into his seat and assumes his previous position, though the tension he always holds in his shoulders gives way just a bit. Sunlight has barely begun to stream in through the large kitchen windows, casting the table you are both seated at in a fresh, golden glow. A comfortable silence stretches between you as you finish the last few bites of your breakfast. He’s leaning back in his chair, legs crossed, though his left hand lays casually against the table. As the minutes pass, your hand absentmindedly brushes against his. He glances up at you over his paper, his eyes filled with warmth as a hint of a smile plays on his lips. 
“I know you hate getting up this early, but I like being able to spend my mornings with you,” he says as he encircles your hand with his own, brushing the pads of his fingertips over your knuckles.  You look up at him, your swelling as his words sink in. Aside from the daily ‘I love you’ s, Beau isn’t someone who ever verbalizes his emotions. Though he has never once held back from showing you just how much he cares. 
“Me too,” you reply. Your hand squeezes his gently, a small gesture that confirms you recognize the gravity of his admission.
The smell of his black coffee lingers in the air as you hear the world outside begin to wake up. You sit happily in each other's presence for several moments longer. The world outside the window feels far away and almost meaningless compared to the cozy safe haven of his kitchen.
Suddenly, you feel his shift and reluctantly pull his hand from yours. You glance briefly at the clock, laughing as the numbers confirm that he has only minutes before he needs to leave for work. He rinses his mug and sets it on a tea towel, leaving it to dry. He swipes his bag off the counter and leans in for a full, proper kiss this time. You smile up at him as he pulls away, knowing that no matter what his day ahead holds, the moments you shared together over breakfast will tide him over until he can come back home to you.
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honeygrahambitch · 3 days
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Hi, I'm new to the fandom and unsure who to ask my questions. I recently joined Tumblr and came across your posts while browsing the Hannibal meta tag. I have a few questions: What are Hannibal's feelings towards Bedelia and Alana? I remember Mads once said that Hannibal is in love with everyone on the show to some extent, so what exactly does love mean to him? Also, I'm having trouble understanding the line by Will: "You will only do that if I rejected you" (sorry, I paraphrased). I apologize if these are too many questions. Thanks in advance!
Hi anon! I am in a yapping mood so here we go.
1. What are Hannibal's feelings towards Bedelia and Alana?
They are absolutely women that he appreciates and respects to some extent. Hannibal does not engage with people he doesn't respect. Bedelia is his colleague and...friend? Depends who you ask cause Hannibal did say that he considered her his friend. He doesn't love her, but she matches his freak to some extent. She is a beautiful woman and she is intelligent and most importantly, she probably knows him better than anyone (up until the point he meets Will at least).
He was also very genuine towards Alana. He did use her as an alibi but I stand my ground when I say that he offered her to run away genuinely because he cared about her. She is also intelligent and beautiful, what's not to like about her? (i won't start ranting about Alana now, I have many thoughts ahhhhh). Tbh his feelings towards Bedelia are deeper. Alana did not see him for who he was. She didn't know him intimately enough. He has never wanted to eat her. Hannibal wants to eat people if 1) they are rude and 2) they mean the world to him (because how else to express your adoration). Bedelia did end up for dinner in the end. What he had with Alana was not that deep but it was enjoyable for sure. Alana is more submissive than Bedelia.
So I guess to sum up, both Bedelia and Alana were very convenient both as partners and as pawns for the bigger picture. But his feelings toward them are nothing compared to what he feels for Will.
2. What does love mean to Hannibal?
My take on what Mads said is that Hannibal is an individual who is genuinely in love with life. With every aspect. Life gets complicated? That's entertaining to him. Will did something unpredictable? Entertaining too. Rude people or people he loves are having dinner with him? Wonderful. Murder? Mesmerizing. He loves suits, he composes, he draws, he cooks, he is so full of life all the time. He is a little bit in love with everyone because he finds everyone a source of entertainment and that's really important to him.
Will actually making him suffer is however something he did not find so entertaining. Even if he did find some beauty in all that pain, I am sure he wasn't very entertained. It was a rare occasion where he was really in pain. He is not the same as in the first two seasons. He is more reckless, more impulsive. His little happy narrative was shattered because of a situation where he had no control over. Part of his life satisfaction and entertainment are explained by his need to control how all the subplots develop.
3. What did Will mean when he said "you'd only do that if I rejected you"?
Honestly this is one that I struggled with for a long time and I guess you can interpret it in many nuances. It's meant to be interpretable.
You can either see it as a) "I manipulated you to surrender and you fell for it. I knew which buttons to push. You can't handle rejection. You did exactly what I expected you to do" or b) (my favorite) "I had to say all those things because it was the only way to make you surrender. I knew that you wanted me to know where to find you. While what I said back then does not reflect my true feelings, I had to make you surrender."
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stillfruit · 2 days
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i love not knowing if i'll ever be healthy again i love all of the time i've used to move my body become nothing i love spending my adulthood wasting away year after year for various reasons baby!
#i know i'm being dramatic and privileged etc etc right now but i hate living like this#i probably had covid in the beginning of august and since then my heart and lungs have just been fucked#so now i'm probably looking at at least 2 years of long covid and maybe permanent neurological damage#could i be lucky and get better in few more months? maybe. do i believe that will happen? no. optimistically maybe next summer id be better#my symptoms are not that bad considering what i know other people have suffered but at the same time that makes it feel not real#otherwise i'm pretty much fine except i feel like fainting alot after standing up or excerting myself and anything beyond walking#spikes my hr to 160 and right now even laying down my hr is around 80. this comes with the associated shortness of breath etc#what fucks me up about this is that my normal hr is low with my rhr being under 50bpm and i'm physically active#so basically i've went from regular running and half marathons being no issue to not being able to jog 1km at the slowest pace possible#without spiking my hr to zone 4#so now with the recovery time of this being however long if properly ever i'll have to basically start all over again with everything#i biked to the grocery store yesterday and that took me out for the rest of the day because my heart rate just didn't go down afterwards#outwards i look fine and i wouldn't be as affected if sports and moving wasn't a part of my life and relationships but it is#i've read studies about recovery times and a lot of them don't feel applicable because the test groups are either very different from me#based on the baseline health info such as activity levels or they're elite atheletes which i am not#some have given me hope that keeping my hr under like 130 by doing activities like walking until maybe someday things get better works#but who knows and even if it does this will be yet another thing that takes the littlest bits of muscle tissue i have on me away once again#because besides deconditioning muscle loss is yet another symptom. so i will be even weaker than i am right now#i don't know how much of what i'm experiencing in terms of mental effects is from anxiety over my physical health and how much is brainfog#but we'll see i'll just have to start walking a lot every day and keep up with simple and slow strenght training so i'll want to die less#i don't think my family will ever properly understand because almost all of them are athletes and the one who isn't never does any excercis#so either i just look like i'm weak but i was always weak so it's not a big deal or my experience isn't really that important#this is so so so pathetic both my reaction and the issue but it's difficult to not feel this way especially with the uncertainty#shit talking
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dutybcrne · 7 months
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When getting married, Kae's ideal wedding fit is something that heavily blurs his gender presentation. Is it a suit? A dress??? Is he the bride?? Groom??? Who knows? Definitely not anybody getting a good look at him-
#hc; kaeya#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Ambiguousness dialed up to the MAX#//The most important part is that he looks GOOD#//And leaves his partner mouth agape; that too ksjbgd#//If he can leave them breath and speechless; he'll be more than happy with his outfit choice#//Deffo WILL playfully tease them during the vows for sure#//Suuuubtly adjust the collar/opening at his chest to draw attention to it; or otherwise shimmying his shoulders ever so slightly to do so#//Cock his head and give them a coy little sultry look as they speak; batting his eyes as he purses his lips juuust a lil bit#//ESP if he Knows it's gonna make them wanna get back at him later#//Definitely would want to go All Out on the decadence; for accessories; materials; makeup#//He doesn't usually want to splurge so much on himself; even with his presentation on the daily#//But for his wedding; he would LOVE to go all out#//It's only one of the BIGGEST MOMENTS OF HIS LIFE; after all#//Esp considering how much it would take to actually GET him there and give in to actually marrying his partner; his anxieties considered#//It's IMPORTANT#//It's a different story if the wedding happens to be impromptu lmao#//Like the Potc scene with Will; Elizabeth; and Barbossa jbdgkg#//My favorite thing ever lol#//Propose to and marry him mid-battle; and he will be ECSTATIC#//Blood-spattered; bruised; disheveled and all; he wouldn't care; he'd be SO happy#//Might have to anticipate consummating the marriage IMMEDIATELY after the fight's been won tho kjdnbkgft#//He'd be so lax bc there aren't family and friends to present to; it's just him and his partner#//Which honestly may mean less stress for him in the long run; lbr#//Prolly the most ideal sort of wedding for him#//Where he doesn't have to think; lets himself get carried away by the emotions and his partner's joy/excitement#//Just FUN and THEM#//and a little chaos; that too lol
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septembersghost · 2 years
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what songs from present day would you want to hear elvis cover?
ANON!!! 🥰💕 i love this message an enormous amount, and then it tormented me for two days because i read it and instantly forgot every modern day song i've ever listened to somehow lol. the actual problem was, i felt like i didn't have a solid enough handle on today's genres that he might lean more towards or that would do him justice? i was sitting here frantically thinking of songs by pop girlies™ and i could hear him softly laughing over my shoulder. so i was going to give you a short answer.
then i ended up looking at my actual music library and came out with a novel.
first, i sent this to both my loves @joons and @headfullofpresley in my initial dilemma, looking for suggestions. sidenote: if anyone would like to add to this, you're welcome to!
chelsea gave me three that i think are simply marvelous and i will weep forever that we cannot have them: million reasons by lady gaga (the taste this has, the vision this has. I bow down to pray, I try to make the worst seem better, Lord, show me the way to cut through all this worn out leather. I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away, but baby, I just need one good one to stay. hello?!), praying by kesha (well, you almost had me fooled, told me that I was nothing without you, but after everything you've done, I can thank you for how strong I have become, 'cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell, I had to learn how to fight for myself, and we both know all the truth I could tell, I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell." I hope you're somewhere prayin'...I don't need you, I found a strength I've never known, I'll bring thunder, I'll bring rain, oh, when I'm finished, they won't even know your name...can you imagine how much i would cry?), and love on the brain by rihanna (baby, I'm fist fighting with fire just to get close to you, can we burn something, babe? and I run for miles just to get a taste. i NEED to hear how he would arrange this).
tam i know would say peace (there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west, I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best, but the rain is always gonna come, if you're standin' with me) by taylor. also slow dancing in a burning room (this is the deep and dying breath of this love that we've been working on. can't seem to hold you like I want to, so I can feel you in my arms, nobody's gonna come and save you, we pulled too many false alarms) and shadow days (did you know that you could be wrong, and swear you're right? some people been known to do it all their lives. but you find yourself alone, just like you found yourself before, like I found myself in pieces on the hotel floor. hard times help me see, I'm a good man with a good heart, had a tough time, got a rough start, but I finally learned to let it go...).
for my part, i feel like there is this endless list of songs i could mention from further back in time, but i wanted to pull from our modern era since you said present day, and i've been mulling some of my favorites in my mind. granted, elvis would play around with how these are crafted and produced, but in my head, i can hear these.
taylor is such an obvious go-to, and i wracked my brain trying to think of what would be right for him. something with her country flavor, or something with a bigger sound, a more rock-infused sound, like state of grace (PLEASE), like the story of us. but these jumped out - the original version of that's when. i love the duet with keith urban, but the original can be carried by one person. i can't explain, but it's very kentucky rain-coded to me. also just the story there, that idea that all these mistakes have been made, but the person you love is always welcome to come back. there's also an unreleased song of hers called just south of knowing why (drive all night) that is SO GOOD, and i hope it'll be on debut tv. for some reason i can connect it with him easily. "if I could drive all night, would I find my peace of mind? would it be a million miles of cold white lies and unfamiliar exit signs? I just drive on by, just south of knowing why. I don't have a plan, I don't have a map, I don't even know if I'm ever going back." lastly, and this is the biggest one, i toyed with a bunch of folklore choices (this is me trying...they told me all of my cages were mental...), but my brain just kept circling back to fearless, specifically to change. this is curious because i never used to like change, it's the re-recording that, well, changed it for me. the initial letdown of it (the final blow hits you, somebody else gets what you wanted again, and you know it's all the same, another time and place, repeating history and you're getting sick of it), and then the hopeful triumph overcoming it (but I believe in everything you do). the spirit of it - and we'll sing hallelujah! anyway i cried thinking about this so that tells you everything.
to the lady gaga connection, can i say that el would sound phenomenal singing any number of the songs from she and bradley's version of a star is born? always remember us this way. alibi. music to my eyes (i know it's a duet!). and especially maybe it's time.
harry's version of just a little bit of your heart where he made it rockier (I know I'm not your only, but at least I'm one, I heard a little love is better than none). canyon moon, you just have to trust me.
and it hit me, LITERALLY ANYTHING by lord huron?! there's an entire playlist of elvis-as-lord-huron songs that i could make, but if i can only choose one, i'm going to say the man who lives forever. (ends of the earth? time to run? love like ghosts? the night we met? louisa? wait by the river? love me like you used to?) also he'd make fool for love really fun.
miscellaneous choices i adore from my library that i know he'd transform amazingly: green eyes and a heart of gold by the lone bellow, in the light by the lumineers, let's be still by the head and the heart, morning comes by delta rae, ghost towns by radical face, the weight of love by snow patrol, all of me by john legend, river by josh groban, you and me by niall horan (time's never been on our side, so would you wait for me?). wait for it (death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes, and we keep living anyway, we rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes, and if there's a reason I'm still alive...). breathe by la'porsha renae (I swear I pray every day, but still nothing's changing, feels like my life might need rearranging. you say that you're here and right now is a test of faith. so open up my heart and have your way, I'm sinkin' in my thoughts, so pull me from the waves, my head's above the water, you're my sweet escape. I need you just so I can breathe).
songs that are absolutely bonkers to choose, but i know how they could be re-worked somehow, i can HEAR it i just can't psychically share it with you: miley's never be me, aly & aj's symptom of your touch, hallelujah by alicia keys, someone new by hozier, graveyard (acoustic) by halsey (they say I may be making a mistake, I would've followed all the way, no matter how far. I know when you go down all your darkest roads, I would've followed all the way to the graveyard), golden by fall out boy (and I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies, and all the lovers with no time for me...i like to cry idk), and simply because it tickles me as she is a huge fan, lana's get free. there are couple of lyrics in it that i question how he'd feel about, but this is modern elvis, i can open him up a little. here's why i couldn't help but choose this, in the end: there's no more chasing rainbows and hoping for an end to them, their arches are illusions, solid at first glance, but then you try to touch them, there's nothing to hold on to, the colors used to lure you in and put you in a trance. sometimes it feels like I've got a war in my mind, I wanna get off, but I keep riding the ride, I never really noticed that I had to decide to play someone's game, or live my own life. and now I do, I wanna move, out of the black, into the blue.
i could honestly go on forever, but have one last song, and it's an oldie (probably a cliche, but i do not care!), and that is landslide by fleetwood mac. considering how i feel about e's cover of bridge over troubled water, i think if i could hear him sing landslide i might be fixed forever (or shattered, but still healed somehow). picture this with me: I took my love, I took it down, climbed a mountain and I turned around, and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills 'til the landslide brought me down. oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? can the child within my heart rise above? can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? can I handle the seasons of my life? well, I've been 'fraid of changin' 'cause I've built my life around you, but time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I'm gettin' older, too. it would be beyond beautiful.
honestly, for anyone reading, if you don't understand what i'm talking about in regards to the way he transformed and brought the incandescent soul out of songs, i just...please listen to this. my entire heart forever.
youtube
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hal-o-ween · 7 months
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Hmm, now that I'm starting to actually dip my toes into comics myself, I do have a question for any of you who read comics. Do you have a favorite comic book character, and what run do you think that character is best in?
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doesntseeyourbeauty · 7 months
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coming on here to remind everyone that it's okay to critique and hold your favs accountable for their actions, behavior, and conduct (yes this includes taylor and her overuse of her private jet/her lack of response on the genocide occuring in gaza)
this is something that people tend to forget and instead they place them on a pedestal and refuse to see that there are somethings that cannot be ignored
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nerdie-faerie · 1 year
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Do you think there's any elements of vampirism that the Mikaelsons sold as being quintessential and a norm of being a vampire that was actually just a side effect of their specific experiences with early vampirism. Like maybe they try to sell that vampires don't need sleep, they're superior to humans but that's because they couldn't sleep while on the run from Mikael constant diligence was expected of them. Vampires can go days between feeds if they wished but in reality they couldn't always find someone to feed on while on the run at least not without alerting Mikael etc. etc. That lil speech Rebekah gives Elena about vampires being a predatory species just screams rehearsed, a story they sell to newbie vampires that also helps dispel they're own guilt
#TVDu#The Mikaelsons#idk the concept of being the first of your species and having to learn everything through trial and error and then having to explain to#others?? particularly when your case of vampirism isnt the same as theirs which they likely only would have realised by accidentally or#intentionally harming/killing baby vampires through that same trial and error#like im sure theres plenty of things that they consider to be part of being a vampire that is specific to their situation like#'love is a vampires greatest weakness' im sure thats not a conclusion that all vampires would naturally come to definitely some wouldve com#to a similar conclusion but i can imagine the mikaelsons trying to convince younger vampires that caring about others is dangerous and#theyre predators but they cant afford to care because mikael will destroy everything they care about#and the limits theyve discovered about vampirism that only came about from being on the run and likely most would never naturally encounter#those limits themselves most vampires have probably never gotten to the edge of dissication they dont want to risk it they get hungry they#feed simply as that they probably dont know how long they can run without stopping whilst the mikaelsons are probably very blase cavalier#about it 'oh well just run to france its easier' o.o like what? it probably wouldnt occur to must vampires esp the newer ones that have had#no ancient vampire influence in their life to tell them what is and isnt the norm for vampires katherine the salvatores were never coached#on being vampires but heres rose like the mikaelsons are the oldest vampires around and shes got all this lore and history#i just wanna know what the mikaelsons might have included in that particularly when they were newer and probably trying to seem#more important and grandiose than they were esp given their collective superiority complexes#no idea if im explaining this clearly its so clear in my head but wording it is hard
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digisurvive · 2 years
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I was gonna send this ask days earlier (but then I forgot) but actually the Kaito scene I was referring to was the one in the factory. I just think it's a nice insight into Kaito, he knows he's fucking up and he's trying Really Hard Not To but it's not easy.
I really appreciate what they did with Kaito I think they could of made both of him into just...horrible irredeemable pieces of shit and not make him part of the main cast (or kill him off). But he isn't, and I like that the game doesn't write them like that.
Maybe I just care a lot about siblings in fiction but I really like Kaito because of how much he fucks up! Because he really does try, the game does Not let you brush him off as just a terrible brother.
Kaito is Hard to Talk To and is a Jerk but he's genuinely trying his best and carrying loads of baggage. You could brush him off but that won't actually...solve anything, Kaito will still be stuck where he is which is bad for both him and Miu.
Though, what I've seen Kaito is a more lukewarm character, not hated in the same way a certain glasses boy is but definitely not as liked as the rest and it's probably because 90% of the time he's Violence Protect Miu Violence ohmaybeIdocareaboutthesepeople Violence.
Though...Kaito is kinda in a situation where it's hard to write him outside of his relationship with Miu, because he as a character is just so centered around Miu and, again he is horrible at expressing his emotions which makes him seem less complex than he actually is.
Honestly like most people I wish they killed Kaito in Harmony instead of Miu. I can imagine him swooping in to protect Miu at the last second and getting dragged off, so he still gets killed by his goal to protect Miu while we get to see how Miu really really feels about his brother and, in a roundabout way, more insight into Kaito.
(I'm now also vaguely reminded of this one VN that had a character who's main flaw was not trusting anyone so they couldn't write him getting into any close moments with the other members of the cast so using ghosts (whole thing) they change the POV character in his route to him so they could keep that trait while still letting you get insights into his character.)
Oh I rambled a lot...very sorry! I Just...Kaito....ough...
Ah, I know what scene you're talking about now!! My bad for getting confused, I had recently replayed act 9 and I was like akdkdkkdkg *foaming at the mouth about the slap in the gym :[*
But I see where you're coming from, particularly in this franchise with a lot of protective older brothers, we tend to see them in right for wanting to protect them little siblings and Kaito is just.... So wrong even when you understand where he is coming from.
I don't know about how the fandom feels about him despite the fact I do check the tag (in general, I don't think there's that much fan engagement for this VN </3), so I'll only talk about my thoughts about him. I tend to go through periods where I really like him and periods where he really gets on my nerves because of the stuff you wrote in the ask. He can be difficult in the sense you wish Takuma would confront him directly (but in true Takuma fashion, he's very mindful not to overstep his boundaries most of the time), but I think the fact one of the more consisten ways to raise his affinity is to leave him alone speaks volumes about how he's used to getting by, trying to solve everything on his own and not being used to be relied on by other ppl nor relying on others. He's also a kid who's really been neglected and has had to shoulder a lot of responsibility so it makes sense for him to be more than a little neurotic 😂 I think it's a feat for the writing to still be able to portray his proclivity for violence in a way that feels unsavory when this franchise is all action and fights (Thats one thing I did wish Survive had been able to pull off better. To give you feasible alternatives that aren't fighting for some of the plot beats, but that's for another post).
He does have his nuances, like how he's aware that he can be a pain in the ass and difficult to deal with. And wrong, most importantly. I think a lot about that Wrathful dialogue he has with Aoi where she's lamenting her final defeat as Plutomon bc... She was supposed to finally have the power and agency not to make mistakes anymore! And Kaito tells her there's no such a thing as someone who doesn't make mistakes and he himself has had to rely a lot on the others to tell him he's wrong 💔 (which really reminds you of how hard Takuma works to get him to go with the group to the amusement park in pt4, how he has to very timidly set the example for him in act 6 and etc...) I honestly like him a lot in Wrathful, I think it's where you get to see a new side of him even if in a really bittersweet way.
Speaking of how he knows he's in the wrong, I do like a lot that moment in Truthful where to raise affinity with him, you have to tell him to give Miu some space while they're looking for the Northern shrine. I think it speaks volumes about how his friendship with Takuma has evolved that he's at a point where he won't see it as a stranger sticking his nose where he shouldn't. He's just such a family little man, In a US vs the world mentality, it's interesting to see him grow to consider Dracmon family too and slowly reconsider who's important to him beyond that narrow social circle.
Switching Kaito's and Miu's places would indeed be interesting (and I Def Get where People are coming from with this angle for a myriad of reasons), yeah, but I also Love Aoi and Kaito as foils so I still like what we got 😂😂
ANYWAY. thanks for the ask, I love talking about digisurvive w/ u, so ur welcome to ramble anytime
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delightfuldevin · 1 year
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Long post!! Wanted to share all the deets about my Cookie Run self insert!!
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Introducing Pumpking Cookie and their Pet, Gourdie!!
Cookie Run: Ovenbreak
Cookie Class: Epic
Pet Class: Epic
Story: Pumpking Cookie is the elusive king of Pumpkin Land of Fear! You probably won't see him on your first visit to Pumpkin Land, or your second either. Only seasoned visitors of the park know how to spot him while he's hiding. And if you find him, you'll get a treat! Or maybe it'll be a trick... You better be careful! He also puts on his own special show with his pumpkins at midnight in the main tent, so be sure not to miss out!
Skill: When the big gauge is filled, a giant pumpkin appears and the jump and slide buttons turn into carving buttons. Repeatedly tap the buttons to carve the pumpkin and earn Pumpkin Carving Points. Once the small gauge is filled, the pumpkin will come to life and Pumpking Cookie will ride it as it destroys obstacles until the small gauge runs out. Level up for more Pumpkin Carving Points.
Magic Candy Ingredient - Little Pumpkin Seed: This pumpkin seed is the smallest of them all. Can something so small really grow into something special? Only time will tell...
Magic Candy Effect: While riding the giant pumpkin, each destroyed obstacle creates a Roasted Pumpkin Seed Jelly. The stronger the enchanted power, the more points earned from Roasted Pumpkin Seed Jellies.
Pet Story: Pumpking Cookie can bring pumpkins to life by carving faces into them. No one knows exactly how he does it... Gourdie was the first one he brought to life and the living pumpkin became his faithful assistant who helps him with his show.
Pet Skill: At given intervals, the Pet flies ahead and the light inside begins to glow, generating Jack o’ Lantern Points and restoring Energy. Level up for more Jack o’ Lantern Points and more Energy restoration.
Combi Bonus: Extra Jack o’ Lantern Points
1000 Affection Points Bonus: Extra Pumpkin Carving Points
Basic Jelly: A true king earns their title from their subjects.
Daily Gift: “It’s a treat, I promise! Hehe!”
Like: Solid Red Sugar Crystal
Dislike: Breakout Certificate
General:
“Come one, come all!”
“Welcome to Pumpkin Land!”
“Wonder when I can see him again…”
“The rides at Pumpkin Land aren’t for the faint of heart!”
“Don’t forget to check out the Haunted House!”
“Things will get even more fun at night!”
Tired: “Okay, timeout…!”
Tap:
“Heya!”
“Bringing pumpkins to life is a secret I won’t tell!”
“Come and find me! I might have somethin’ good for ya!”
“Is it a trick or a treat? Only one way to find out!”
“Hehehe!”
“Y-you found me? Already?”
“I love watching fire dance!” (Like Hint)
“I don’t need a certificate to run Pumpkin Land.” (Dislike Hint)
Gifts:
“Ooo, for me?” (neutral)
“Flames are so beautiful…” (given Solid Red Sugar Crystal)
“I hope this can become a biiiig pumpkin some day!” (given Little Pumpkin Seed)
“Why would I want one of these?” (given Breakout Certificate)
“How did you find out…?!” (given Violet Sugar Crystal) [note: will not receive any Affection Points for this]
Relationships:
Lemon Cookie (friendly): “I’ll make you smile if it’s the last thing I do!” On Lemon’s chart (trust): “An odd one, but I guess he’s okay.”
Cherry Cookie (friendly): “It’s never boring with you around!” On Cherry’s chart (friendly): “Pumpkins! Pumpkins! Pumpkins! Tee-hee!”
Popcorn Cookie (friendly): “Hey, when’s our next movie night?” On Popcorn’s chart (friendly): “My favorite movie buddy!”
Birthday Cake Cookie (friendly): “Pumpkin Land’s a great place for parties!” On Birthday Cake’s chart (friendly): “Let’s throw a spooky Halloween party together!”
Cinnamon Cookie (trust): “Always puts on a good show!” On Cinnamon’s chart (trust): “Pumpkin Land is my favorite place to perform!”
Currant Cream Cookie (friendly): “Studs and spikes can be spooky too!” On Currant’s chart (friendly): “I wouldn’t call my style ‘spooky’, but I like the way you think!”
Raspberry Mousse Cookie (admiration): “Show ‘em who’s boss!” On Mousse’s chart (admiration): “Their opinion of us doesn’t matter!”
Pitaya Dragon Cookie (admiration): “I like it hot!” On Pitaya’s chart (admiration): “Brighter than sssunshine…”
Shining Glitter Cookie (admiration): “Everything about her captivates me…” On Shining Glitter’s chart (admiration): “There’s always room in my schedule for you!”
Moonlight Cookie (admiration): “I’ll see you in my dreams!” On Moonlight’s chart (admiration): “Your smile is the warmest.”
Knight Cookie (tension): “You don’t stand a chance!” On Knight’s chart (tension): “What do you know about the Red Dragon?!”
Ice Juggler Cookie (rival): “Betcha Pumpkin Land’s got more visitors!” On Ice Juggler’s chart (rival): “Pumpkin Land is alright. (Pudding Cup Circus is better.)”
Cookie Run: Kingdom
Class: Legendary
Type: Support
Location: Middle
Story: What a strange one, that Pumpking Cookie is! Just where exactly did they come from? And what is that ominous purple glow that emanates from them? So many questions and so little answers. However, it is known that he created and rules over a Kingdom of his own called the Pumpking Patch. But… the citizens are all living pumpkins! There’s not a single Cookie in sight! This begs yet another question… Is Pumpking Cookie themself even a Cookie…?
Skill - Trick or Treat: Summons a pumpkin bomb which has a 50-50 chance of being a trick or a treat. The treat bomb explodes on the ally side, healing everyone’s HP and raising everyone’s ATK for a period of time. The trick bomb explodes on the enemy side, releasing pumpkin guts on the ground that trap all enemies, making them unable to move or attack for a period of time. It also lowers their DEF while they are trapped. It will not trap Cookies who are resistant to interrupting effects during their skill, but it will lower their DEF more. While using his skill, Pumpking Cookie will be resistant to interruptions.
Skill Activation: “Wonder what this’ll be!”
Kingdom Arena:
“Well well well, look what we have here!”
“Hope ya like pumpkins! Hahaha!”
“You wanna play with the Pumpkin King? Let’s see what you’ve got!”
“Let’s have some fun!!”
Loading Screen: If you look closely at Pumpking Cookie, you’ll find cracks in their dough all over their body.
Gacha Line: “It’s always Halloween when I’m around!”
General:
“You should come visit the Pumpking Patch!”
“I wasn’t always a King…”
“What’s this purple light? Well, the truth may shock you… hehe!”
“This Kingdom is nice. I guess I’ll stay awhile.”
“Is this a trick or a treat? Why don’t you come find out?”
“You’re invited to the Grand Halloween Party in the Pumpking Patch!”
“Ha! My subjects would love this place!”
“My Kingdom means the world to me. No one will ever take it from me!”
“Anyone who dares threaten the Pumpking Patch will have to deal with its King!”
Victory:
“Aw, no hard feelings, right? Hehe!”
“Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King!”
“Whew, that was a close one!”
“I did it? I mean, of course I did! Heh heh.”
Defeat:
“Don’t think I’m out just yet!”
“I… I will protect the Pumpking Patch…!”
“I won’t give in! I can’t!”
“This isn’t over…!”
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What do you think drove Daigo to go legit and open his security business?
well, one big reason was prob cause he realized that trying to live as yakuza under the current laws was more akin to being a 'slave' to the government than just. doing what they do
#snap chats#like he was p open about that so it's fair to make that connection i think#because daigo and watase and masumi still wanted all the displaced yakuza to have someplace to go when they dissolved#like they wanted the people they cared about- members of the yakuza- to be able to live life comfortably#and again trying to be yakuza nowadays is incredibly difficult so. best way to do it is to go legit#even beyond that though- if i may postulate- prob had a bit of kiryu being 'dead'#kiryu's approval meant a lot to daigo and now with him gone he probably felt less inclined to keep the yakuza running#masumi tells ichi that daigo and watase had been considering dissolving the yakuza long before aoki became governor so#the whole 'slaves under the government' bit was prob just another affirmation for them to shut down shop#it can be both of these factors yk. like daigo's always had some trouble running the tojo through /mostly/ no fault of his own#like he kept things running fairly smoothly for a shoddy organization held together by popsicle sticks and glue#and again with the laws becoming stricter and kiryu's presence no longer there it was just like. This Probably Won't Be Bad#and i reinforce kiryu's importance because kiryu was an important figure in daigo's life and his approval to daigo meant a lot#if kiryu were alive daigo might have felt inclined to keep it going so as not to disappoint him#esp since kiryu kinda kicked his ass for being so messy with the tojo in Y4 ☠️#but again now that hes gone that pressure's also gone#idk im rambling at this point just read the main text
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ame-to-ame · 24 days
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Rereading ayaka is in love with Hiroko senpai!!! Last time I read it I don't think it was finished/I didn't finish it but ack. Now I also want to be in love 😭😭😭
#i want to say i want to be someone like ayaka but in reality im probably more like hiroko#i used to be someone like ayaka. i was really tunnel visioned and i didn't consider much aside from the person i was interested in#but it's been years now and there's a lot more to consider and it's. hard and im even more scared now.#i think there's someone who im currently talking with who's trying to figure out if im into women or not and if im available or not#but it's that sort of thing where there's just. a lot in my shoulders and a lot to consider. i want a relationship eventually but.#there's just so much to consider right now. in the past i thought that as long as i could make my partner happy a rx is just btwn 2 of us#but when i did actually get into a serious long term relationship i realized that most people. do expect getting to have in laws.#people for the most part want to be loved proudly and not have to hide it. and i do too. but at the same time. i just. there's so much on me#i almost came out to my dad the other day while trying to console him. but maybe that news would just be the last straw for him. idk.#i just can't really afford to have my life be shaken up much more right now when i just rebuilt some stability.#especially when my parents are having a midlife crisis and both of them are leaning on me. my health worsening also stressed them out too.#i really thought I'd be braver and have less to worry about the older i got and the more independent i became but. ig not.#in my teens i told myself once i reached adulthood I'd be free to be myself and pursue happiness. in my 20s i tell myself after med school.#maybe once I'm finally out of med school and etc I'll have the opportunity to live my life. or maybe by then there will be another reason.#it's a real concern. i mean. sure I've never wanted kids I've always been ace and I've always liked women but. the societal pressure.#to other queer people the gaydar goes off easily but to the cishet audience i've mostly. been able to go unnoticed.#and when you're younger not having a bf or ppl you're interested in and being focused on your studies is a thing your parents are proud of#but as i get older. it's just been harder. i don't know how much longer i have before i have to conform or have the cat out of the bag.#i don't even get it sometimes. i really don't. the expectation of family and marriage is wanting happiness for your child right? but somehow#idk. idk. i really don't know. sometimes maintaining an image. might be more important than your child's feelings.#and i really can't be certain that between ego and saving face compared to me that. I'll come out on top. i really don't know.#idk. idk. i know there are ppl interested in dating me. but idk. i really need some time to process things through.#sometimes i ask myself how i would feel abt it and i really can't figure out how i feel at all.#it's ok to date someone u don't love ig. i mean. I've done it before. you can make yourself like someone after a while. but idk if i.#idk i just. i think im just really scared. and I'll need at least another month or so before anything is back on the table.#it's honestly just me running away from having to deal with sorting out thoughts and feelings 👍👍👍 which i eventually will have to face ig#but if i do fall in love ik i have it in me to sort those things out quickly i think. if im not too scared to let myself fall.#ig i just have to get more used to ppl being interested in me again ack 😭 it's easy to ignore it when dating someone but. now.#and it was fine in the summer bc i wasn't really around too many ppl my age. but. ugh. unfortunately. i do have. a face and a personality.#delete later
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meistoshi · 5 months
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thinkin bout lei got me thinkin bout satoshi's baby mon, both the ones he oversaw hatching & the ones that are, simply, baby, & satoshi's rel w Kids in general….
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