#so it's hardly his fault
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HELLO I NEEDED TO SHOW YOU MY HORRIBLE DOODLE THAT TOOK NO TIME AT ALL
INSPIRATION STRUCK AND NEEDED TO HAVE AT LEAST A DOODLE TO REMEMBER THE IDEA. OKAY, BYE NOW.
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#almost every sighthound I come across has some level of resting worried face going on#so it's hardly his fault#they're so tiny and shrimpy#I just want to make them a bed in an empty matchbox and tuck them in#gift art#stormyisqueer#Vasco#Machete#own characters#little lads#🤏
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i’ve never been as angry on behalf of a character as i am for sam winchester
#currently thinking about season four and five. absolutely fuckibg mental#the world literally reshapes itself around him to prove him wrong#its all framed as God. Sam was so stupid and selfish and reckless for drinking demon blood. He just liked the power of it and he chose a#DEMON over DEAN.#but. that’s not the story they tell in s4.#like even aside from every single other complexity. Sam is literally right. he has ZERO WAY of knowing that killing lilith is the final seal#AND DEAN DOESNT KNOW TJAT EITHER. like sam is literally right he can kill lilith and he does kill lilith. dean wants lilith dead just as#much. sam’s cardinal sin is disobeying dean and then the world flips around on him and plot twist sam and dean were both wrong all along and#killing lilith is what will bring back lucifer :)#but. it’s not framed like that either. it’s framed like SAM BROUGHT BACK LUCIFER BY KILLING LILITH WHILE HIGH ON DEMON BLOOD#dean you wanted to kill lilith too?????????#but. doesn’t matter dean despite being mostly motivated by jealous anger is retroactively proven to be Right#and sam is retroactively proven to be Wrong. he is bad#i just. jesus. sam’s not evil ever. he’s hardly even that fucking morally grey#and he still thinks there’s something wrong with him that he’s a freak that he’s inherently evil and needs to be purified#why?? cause of something fucked up that happened to him when he was a baby#and because he’s disobeyed his father and his brother and been angry at awful things that have happened to him#makes me feel fucking insane actually#no wonder narrative frames sam as evil no wonder he’s inherently marked as Bad by the forces in supernatural like even on a meta level#in supernatural gods just another shitty father. embodiment of the familial patriarch. and from sam’s very first moment on the show he’s in#opposition to that he’s ran away from john and he argues with dean. therefore he is evil#i don’t think my words r really making sense right now but. fucking hell#and sam is so swamped in guilt all of season five and he just fucking accepts that everything bad is his fault#and he gets tortured in the cage to save the fucking world and it’s STILL not enough. not to appease his own guilt and not to appease deans#anger at him. dean is still throwing his perceived violations back at him in like season nine!!#and whenever he tries to get out it’s treated as yet another Sin. narrative acts like sam thinking dean was dead and having a life outside#of hunting is The Worst Thing He Ever Did#worst sin sam ever commits in the eyes of the show is disobedience. Absolutely awful actually#spn#sam winchester
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@redvsbluesecretsanta for @eyeaball!
they asked for something with donut, or with kai and caboose being friends, so i kinda melded those together into this, and then the rest of blue team wanted to participate…
the formatting for this was done using @sabotourist's chatlog formatting code! ty again so much raven for helping with troubleshooting! i know usually i like to put my writing both on here and on ao3 so ppl can choose where to read it but bc of the formatting this can only be read on ao3.
#rvb secret santa#red vs blue secret santa 2024#frankin donut#michael caboose#kaikaina grif#rvb#chromatic writing#its still the 26th in some places okay. im on time.#i saved all the editing and code stuff until right before i was uploading it. which should have been fine. two days is more than enough tim#except for the fact that yesterday i had a fever of over 100 and my throat is so sore and swollen i can hardly speak...........#and now i have to switch with chi so he can put the finishing touches on his piece and upload it..... lol.......................#its my fault for procastinating but without being sick it really would have taken me like 2 hours tops. oh well.#anyway i hope you enjoy it was fun to write. i LOVE trying to nail down characters texting voices#i hope they come through#you know me i could go on and on about the decisions i make in my writing lol
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Angst mode time. Still not ever getting over how Eight never fully recovered from Imperial Intelligence's fall, and the short reunion in SoR with Keeper did nothing to alleviate that-- it made it worse. What conversation they had was awkward and stilted, and Eight had meekly resigned to the fact that Keeper did not value him as a person, despite this not being the least bit true from Keeper's side. But as you know, the mission came first. Shara came first. Once again, Eight set aside his own feelings and dwindling personhood to serve as a spy who now had no place beside the man he would've moved mountains just to be seen by, and for that, he only fell deeper into losing sight of who he was. For what little remained of Intelligence, Eight had died with its dissolution. No closure was afforded, only a painful silence and unsaid breadth between two men who could not bear to broach years of loyalty, who had deeply hurt one another and not even known the depths of the inflicted wounds.
Keeper left the way he came.
Then came the Eternal Empire. Five years meant nothing to Eight; it was a life he would not have lived regardless. Lana thought she saved him from the carbonite, but at most it was exhuming a corpse. Pulling him back from the dead to ask him one more time to bloody those hands. And Eight, loyal Eight, did his duty, neither differentiating friend nor foe in a galaxy that had abandoned him.
#swtor#ooc#WAHHHH#pounds fist on table#i'm still so.... so upset over how keeper has no idea. the anguish the bloodshed the depersonalization he causes eight#it's hardly his fault just a huge misunderstanding#but eight thought he hated him! thought he was disgusted by him in the end! that the one person he thought understood had seen-#- his true self and rejected him#so in self manifesting destiny he became more of a blade that cut down anybody instead of the man keeper wanted him to be#AUGH!!!!!!!!!#keeper when i get you
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Ya gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me.......
#[ LMAO nnoitra is mad because byakuya is planning his wedding ]#[ even tho i've hardly written anything for byakuya ]#[ ( tho blue and i have written on discord ) ]#[ byakuya has a ship and nnoitra doesn't have one ]#[ DESPITE MY EFFORTS ]#[ HE'S MAD ]#[ nnoitra i'm so sorry but it's really NOT my fault you're incredibly difficult to ship with ]#nnoitra: treason#[ excuse me sir ]#despair for me. ╱ in character.#dash commentary.
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Jujutsu Kaisen asks many important questions such as: mentally healthy daughters that are happy but racist OR son that isn’t racist but is so mentally unwell he rarely smiles and has no will to live
#there’s something really funny about Geto conceptually having raised the kids in his care better than Gojo#for a bunch of reasons#like I get there are other factors#but the only drawback to being with Geto was apparently the racism#meanwhile Megumi and Tsumiki got whatever you’d call their lot#comedic fr#the Habaras seem to like Geto too meanwhile you already know Gojo hates that Megumi doesn’t like acknowledging him#his own fault for being annoying but like. that’s hilarious#Geto didn't even make the girls racist im pretty sure they're fine with human things so that's hardly a downside.#also funny in jjk is that the jujutsu society is corrupt and wants them dead but Gojo is the one who stays and follows the rules#while Geto is the one who left. but instead of it being for a good moral reason like you’d expect from early flashbacks#it’s because he’s decided to start killing humans#he could’ve just stuck to that first village but nah has to kill all the humans now#‘sounds like a better plan than any’ says man who hasn’t slept in 3 days#Gojo stayed behind but also refused to do anything about criminal Geto indefinitely which is extra funny#why are they like that#jjk
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marc you've outdone yourself with wilson tits
now... do you think wilson would ever try to get payback? by biting back, specifically?
now, that sounds unwilsonlike. but i would not put it past wilson to intentionally get house drunk while remaining just a bit tipsy and doing the exact same to house just to see how he likes it. but like. months later.
HMM..... it might be unwilsonlike, but he does periodically stoop to house's level so...... !
i can see wilson intentionally leaving marks on house. he himself had only been a little bruised, and only really on his chest where it was easy to hide. wilson gets revenge by leaving a visible collar of hickeys around house's neck. it almost looks like someone tried to strangle him. sometimes wilson wants to.
house TRIES to turn it back on him at the hospital, telling anyone and everyone that the golden boy oncologist did that to him, but like the boy who cried wolf no one believes him. because house has said a hundred and ten thousand things under the sun to try to wreak havoc at ppth so the strongest -- and most common -- reaction he gets to it is an unimpressed look of someone who can not be convinced house is being honest. it drives him a little insane. or like, insaner.
#asks#anon#suggestive#and wilson hardly regrets doing so. he's arguably done worse before#not to mention watching a marked up house go wild trying and failing to embarrass him is. whew#house gets scolded by cuddy for it too as it's unprofessional and makes the hospital look slovenly#and house is just like it's not my fault!!!!!!!!! but cuddy is not having it#and wilson's just in his office half-hard and higher than air. he's Winning#this would be awesome to write a fic of. if anyone wants to...... be inspired....... cough#i would but i'm in my defeatist writer era
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"You chose your destiny, Sandgorse. I'll choose mine."
"Why can't I have normal kin who care about my training, and who are proud of me?"
-Tallpaw(star) from Tallstar's Revenge.
Tallpaw, I'm gonna need you to be a little less relatable. I also have this urge to hold you and assure you that you're just a child, and these adults should not be so nasty to you like this TwT
#literally he thinks everything is his fault#its SO SAD#like buddy youre hardly more than a kit#Sandgorse is my number one op rn#tallstars revenge#tallstar#warriors#warrior cats
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john in rdr1 is so special to me i feel crazuyzuzyszy
#z.gen#rdr1 john is just . so .#like hes like the best of himself embodied and hes so unbelievably duty bound to abi#he loves her so much. and he goes against everything for her and jack. the progression of stupid deadbeat#to worlds most loving and dedicated husband makes me sick#and it makes me feel so unwell that john in rdr1 isnt like arthur.#arthur is a good man. to me it makes sense that he is canonically intended to be moral and upright#mary linton even says so#but i dont think thats true for john. i dont think john is 'moral' as much as he is dutiful#nothing is his concern other than his wife and son and i loveeee that about him so much#i know a lot of people find this to be a fault and surely if you like more heroic characters arthur is much closer to it#but john is so. he is so.#theres something about the way he does anything to protect them that makes me weak#its not self serving like dutch nor is it moral like arthur#everything is for them. everything. every single thing.#he embodies in such a way that it makes me unwell. hes so morally gray but for them? he'd do anything and he does#i just . love how john is bound by duty and not morality#hes not particularly remorseful or good or upright#but he is painfully dutifully. to me because i think thats what he took from the sort of life arthur lead#even though i think arthurs goodness was truer. i think john realized that he isnt arthur#but he became the sort of man he could be and became someone who always paid his debts#and did whatever it took protect what he believes is family. whats important to him#when i think about how deeply his love is tied with loyalty and duty i just get sooo insane. like you dont even get it#and rdr1 john is soooo protective and kind to women and sooo hateful to men which helps#i think rdr2 john is so hateable but rdr1 john is like the most perfect man to ever exist and appeals to me#on a personal level more than arthur. like i just cant stop thinking about him#hes so like. attractive hngfmgkjdf#i can hardly play the game its sooo distracting to listen to him
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wanna go back to ssmy reread later I just have to suffer and struggle through one proper task that should take maybe 45 minutes for another four hours on top of the three or so it’s already been. Wait for me ssmy I’ll get there
#aaaany day now#anyway was thinking. how funny it is how much i love sasamiya The Couple#when i have spoken about them. not very much#it’s complicated! they’re so easy with one another and i’m a guy who likes weird it’s really hardly even my fault#really not my fault. imagine me going on a tangent here about how important it is to me that sasaki not limit all of his social capital#to miyano. Examine your relationships with your friends sweet boy. because if you don’t i will (i am) and i’ll be much more. Much about it#(i already am)#i always enjoy a main couple! but i can entrust that literature and analysis largely to other people. as i go spelunking#etc etc etc i could kind of use a nap i’m talking out my ass a little. being strange and offputting is a full time gig you know
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two meters inside the baseline on a second serve return on break point in two consecutive matches and laughing at himself for even trying it as a tactic but winning the crucial point both times? Welcome to Sascha Bublik's world ;-)
photos from the Open Sud de France quarterfinals and semifinals 2024 (in both cases he had to jump backwards pretty hastily in order to actually return serve - see below)
#alexander bublik#those matches against alex shevchenko and against felix were absolute popcorn matches#such an entertainer#even when he's trying hard to play serious tennis like this week :)#lots of dropshot wizardry#backhand slice to die for#almost running out of challenges in game 1 of the third set during the semifinal iirc#double faults aplenty in important moments#but hardly ever backing down from his commitment to hit faster second than first serves :D (several well over 200 km/h today)#in short: the two best matches i've seen here so far#tennis#open sud de france 2024#my photos
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actually i am woobifying yellow a little seriously but thats a whole different convo.
#i will defend yellow until i am DEAD arthur really fucked up with him#he KNOWS he KNOWSSSSSS yellow is a blank slate. that he has no idea who he is and only has memories of the dark world which /terrify/ him#and push him to act like that because the entity lashes out and manipulated when hes scared and arthur should know better now#*manipulates#instead he completely disregards that time and experiences made john john and decided that the entity is just doomed to be evil and can#never compare#and treats him accordingly#he treats him so badly and then yellow learns that arthur willingly summoned him ????? and then acts like him being in his head is somehow#yellows fault ???#if i was yellow id hate arthur too like /i/ know my boy was going through a hard time#and yellow is hardly a perfect innocent baby sure#still#if i was suddenly brought into existence only to hear#'youre not john [who was sooo much better than you] and youre awful and evil and i hate you#and everything thats gone wrong in my life is your fault [nevermind that you just got here]'#yeah id probably be pretty upset and act out too#malevolent
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And are the Niragi stans that genuinely defend his actions in this room right now?
#alice in borderland#niragi suguru#aib niragi#niragi#suguru niragi#niragi alice in borderland#aib#I've literally seen so many people claim that us Niragi fans think his actions are okay or that we're justifying them#I'm so confused about that because where????#These haters are fighting non-existent people#not once have I seen a person actually try to justify anything he's doing#There are some analysation posts yes but if they're not literate enough to tell an explanation apart from a justification#then that's hardly our fault
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Man I gotta get like. Any of my plots going so I can rant abt the details of it.
#like mev all but helpless while she recovered bc doc was taking away her arms due to the violence? because Dari’s fucked up magic blood#hurts when it makes her body heal Far Too Fast?? and then when she’s got nothing else to lash out with she’s all snarls and snapping teeth??#cattra laying on her chest and her getting some half decent rest in??? very promptly getting so attached to her??? the wild panicked look in#her eyes when she’s still half asleep and realizes that doc is carting her off to clean her injuries again and that she’s never kind about#it when she does?? the walls of this stoic woman completely crumbling when there’s no other choice#and peipre hunched in a chair beside marrow as he rests and she’s gripping the armrests so hard her knuckles are white because she’s sure#this was her fault. he got hurt and she found him bleeding and half conscious after she stayed behind again and he almost died. and when dex#makes it into the room she pulls herself together and gives him the kindest rundown she can in the most professional way because it’s all#she’s got to hold herself together in the moment. and he’s just as worried as she is so she’s not going to worry him more with her whole#deal. and when she’s sure dex is going to stay she goes home and calls yarrow off work early and just lays in her lap for hours and refuses#to talk about it.#and sweets hardly resting for several weeks and outright refusing to get unplugged because he Has to be able to keep an eye on things she#Has to make sure that if something happens she can do something this time and he’s so much quieter than usual and when he finally does take#a weekend off again she sleeps so fucking hard with cattra and then feels bad for sleeping through so much of their time#and the whole. thing. that’s jouren’s got going on with mawris right now. they scare the hell out of him and he couldn’t tell you why. but.#if you asked. he would call them his friend. he couldn’t tell you why on that either. he spends so little time with them but there’s this#urge to return lately that. isn’t quite the call of whatever is going on with the mushrooms he’s pretty sure. he’s baking a lot about it.#um#character rambles#:P#I like rotating angst in my brain
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thinking abt hawke <3
#hawke ilysm#thinking abt the pressure he was under when their father died. to keep the family safe first from the templars and then the blight#to get them out of lothering and anywhere safe. he tried so hard.#and then when bethany died his mother blamed him first.#(he was already thinking it. that he should have had them leave sooner or find a different route anything)#(but mother being so quick to confirm that.)#he hardly rested the entire journey by sea. trying to plan ahead for what theyd do when they landed.#how to keep himself hidden from the templars so carver wouldnt have to think about it for once#how to take care of mother. to honor bethany. to build a new home here.#every plan was thrown out the window when gamlen finally showed up so okay he had to make do with gamlens plan instead#but theyve been trying so hard.#and now. a whole year later. carver repeats what mother said. that its bis fault bethany died.#he thinks carver is surprised when he agreees. and that surprises him.#but both of his remaining family has told him this now. he doesnt disagree.#anyway. just. i have Feelings abt the hawkes and their family dynamics.#just. Yeah#blue plays da2
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In light of Brian Thompson being shot dead on my birthday (🎉🥳🎂) I'd like to share a personal story about UnitedHealthcare.
During the peak of COVID, my family all got sick. I couldn't be on my parents' insurance because they were both older and on Medicare. So, I had insurance through my University: UnitedHealthcare.
For some reason, rather than roll-over each year, I got a new plan each year that ended after May and didn't start until August, so I was uninsured for the summer months, but it was a weird situation that the university denied, and told us we were supposed to be insured year-round, it was messy.
Both of my parents went to the hospital, and I got sick too. I had to take care of my pets, and myself, and try to stay alive and keep my pets alive when I was so weak I could hardly move. When my parents came home, my condition got dramatically worse (I think my body knew it couldn't give out, because there was nobody to take care of me, so once my parents were okay, it completely crashed and failed.)
I started experiencing emergency symptoms. It was a bit hard to breathe, my chest hurt, and I was extremely delirious. I wanted to call my insurance to see if I was covered (this was during the summer) and I was connected to some nice person, probably making minimum wage, who told me with caution in her voice that my plan was expired. I had no active insurance, but she urged me to go to an emergency room. I remember saying something to the effect of "You just told me I don't have insurance, I can't go to the hospital, I can't afford it."
She sounded so genuinely worried and scared. I remember she said "You really don't sound good, you sound really sick, please call 9-1-1" and I think I just said "I can't afford it without insurance, don't worry, I think I'll be okay."
And she paused and said "I don't want to hang up the phone with you like this." And it sounded like she was holding back tears. And I don't remember what I said, I think that I would be okay, and I hung up.
I still think about her. I wonder if that phone call haunted her, or if she had dozens of calls like that a day. I wonder if she thinks about it at all, if she wonders if I died after she told me I didn't have insurance and therefore couldn't go to the hospital without incurring a tremendous financial burden. I wonder if she feels guilt or blame-- of course she shouldn't, it wouldn't have been her fault if anything had happened to me. Maybe it's self-centered to wonder if she thinks about it. I'm not the main character and it was just her job. But, still.
I think about how evil it was that we were put in that situation. Because offering year-long continuous coverage through the university plan would maybe cut into profits, maybe not benefit shareholders enough, maybe cut into Thompson's $10 million salary. While his minimum wage administrators have to feel afraid to hang up the phone, because on the other line someone might be dying, and they wouldn't know. While his patients hang up and decide to take their chances rather than put their family through that trauma.
This is UnitedHealthcare. This is Brian Thompson's legacy. This is why, understandably, an entire nation is jubilant that he was gunned down like the vermin he was. I don't care about his widow. I feel pity for his children, despite the fact that they will inherit millions, but I feel more pity for the children of his victims patients who are gone because they didn't want THEIR children to inherit crippling debt. Brian Thompson got what he fucking deserved. I pray that he not be the only one. I pray for continued safety, peace , and anonymity for his killer.
American healthcare is a disease.
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