#so it’s on theme for me atm
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she is broken because she believed
#saw this somewhere and … wow#kinda cringe apparently but I like it#I just read ‘delicate condition’. by Danielle Rollins/valentine#so it’s on theme for me atm#don’t know how to tag this tho#any suggestions? 🧐#soft#quote#double up quote?#lol#girlblogging#I’m so super late with this but idc I love it
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Hail Apollo and Hermes for helping me get my ass in gear to take care of a couple financial things that have been stressing me out for a while! ...and for the reminder to not impulse spend.
#and. of course. it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be!#i was told in no uncertain terms in my last tarot pull that some financial things would bite me in the ass if i didnt deal with them#so i said i would take care of them by the end of the month and i managed to!! well. mostly#im waiting for a checkbook to come in the mail so i can take care of the second one but the first one is settled#and im no longer terrified that i'm going to jail! (that was never going to be the outcome in the first place)#thank you apollo and hermes#i need to find something to offer. i'll figure something out#helpol#hermes#coriander says#hellenic pagan#hellenic polytheism#apollo#hellenic community#pagans of tumblr#theoi#'it's not as bad/scary/catastrophic as it feels' has been a theme atm#the tarot pull was from last week ive just been thinking about it. it's about time to do another check-in pull but i wont be able to till#friday probably#i owe. $7 to the state of texas but afaik i'm only able to pay via check b/c of the circumstances so i had to get *80* of them#the only person i know who still uses checks is my grandpa#...the checkbook would be a good thing to keep on hermes“#*hermes's altar though#my post#gratitude post
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If you're comfortable with it will you talk more about your original characters?
hello!! flattered that you'd want to hear about these characters taking up my headspace 😅🥺💜 i will warn that the project these ocs are from is very much in the rough developmental stages and i have a LOT of research and worldbuilding to do, plus some existing stuff might change, but! here's some things about it:
this started out as an au of sorts that @qiaowanmian and i initially brainstormed for something else, before they very graciously allowed me custody and the au grew up into its own independent brainrot. it revolves around shen yue, courtesy name hui'an, a boy who grew up with one foot in the jianghu and the other tethered to the palace and its obligations. the balance got tipped when he wound up getting himself involved in an ongoing war, and his deeds caught the attention and approval of the palace. in particular, the eye of the then-crown prince, xuan xing.
nearly two decades later, hui'an has made a name for himself leading xuan xing's armies as a general under the king, and as his majesty's favourite, in every sense that that implies. they're an inseparably bonded pair, and that fact is causing problems for the rest of the court, especially for those people who don't care for xuan xing as their leader. hui'an has his own issues outside of the palace walls, too, because everywhere he goes there is one very stubborn swordsman named hua qingsen who keeps finding him over and over and who won't let hui'an's past go there are reminders of the person hui'an might have become, freely wandering the land without care for the state and holding only to his own sense of right and wrong, if he hadn't spent half a lifetime giving his loyalty to the court (to a-xing. everyone knows that ultimately hui'an serves not the kingdom, but one man whom he loves). hui'an's life is cracked in half by these two worlds. between this and the palace plotting behind his a-xing's backs, who would like to see the king gone, their relationship is only going to end in tragedy for it.
(unhappy ending, yes, and that's not going to change, but honestly if you've read my writing before i don't think that's a surprise to anyone)
beyond these main characters mentioned, there's also people such as:
lang shijun, a-xing's eventual queen of convenient marriage and unofficial apprentice to hui'an, whom she met while pretending to be her own brother so she could get into restricted libraries + eavesdrop on court meetings to learn about military tactics
ruxiong, second prince and a-xing's half-brother, who doesn't want the throne more than he wants his family alive and together, but it's that same want that will eventually doom him and the people around him
ruya, ruxiong's younger sister and princess of the kingdom, and who out of these royal siblings insisted on putting her duty and position first in a way her brothers never quite could (she'll get an ending she wanted, though, won by active choice and not obligation)
like i said, there's much that i still need to fill in and develop for this, but here's a brief glimpse into what's been occupying my waking thoughts for the last few weeks! thank you for giving me a chance to ramble a bit and let me know if you ever want to hear more <333
#sorry this was less on the characters themselves and more just a vague premise/overview#but it's late and this is what i've got rn 😔#i got excited about themes whoops#also btw if you see me tag things with#anxingverse#this is what i'm referring to. i don't have a better title atm so i'm just naming this after hui'an and a-xing's ship lol#ashton answers#anon#also i promise there's more that distinguishes these characters in my notes but uh#just based on these descriptions. spot my taste in blorbos jgjfkdkskskd 😭😭#oh well this is just for fun idk if i'll ever write anything of this so whatever
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almost 2am here so rambling time but gah
i miss my literary analysis classes. i miss that writing group i was invited to years ago. i miss just going absolutely nuts over a text. i miss discussing writing, characters. i miss the feedback. i miss getting excited hearing an older lady's memoirs on soviet-era nuclear plants. i miss the exciting stories of an irish immigrant. i miss the beautifully written, soul-touching tales full of mythos from a hawaiian woman. i miss having someone listening to me reading my stories, patiently waiting for me to go through the motions, only to tell me things that they found exciting or enjoyable in my text.
above all, i just miss the sense of community. the connection. finding beauty in all sorts of art forms. being alone in a foreign country, with relatively niche interests is just.. a lot sometimes
#life#i am feeling nostalgic but also.. sad?#my biggest struggle with writing (besides actually getting to write) is that.. it feels so lonely#and when i had that group i was still so.. idk shy? hesitant?#they were all native english speakers besides me so i always felt sort of.. an odd one out?#and most of them were older and had more experience and i was just there..#with my silly little stories full of feelings#the amount of times i cried through reading my writing lmao#but idk.. there are those moments those words and themes and phrases in writing that just grip my heart#sometimes it's sad sometimes it's happy but they just make me suck my breath in and tears just come out#i love writing and the art of language and weaving it like a cloth adding things!! the intent behind choosing certain embellishments? ? ? ?#going insane atm
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kinda wanna write a fic where the dog is literally the deus ex machina
#sophie speaks#dog backwards is god yknow it makes sense#me and my undertale bullshit back on it again#i have 3 fic ideas for it. one is a meta commentary one is just about a reader with a chronic illness and one is my love for desperate read#-rs returning in full blown massive fashion. and also identity issues but all 3 of these fics have that last one just has that. a lot lot#all include my weird DID metaphors and multiverse shenanigans#because honestly all sans/sans shippers do not understand the weirdness of loving an alternate version of urself#they dont lean into it#i mean im not gonna write sans/sans I'm an x reader till death because i love self love. also sans could not love himself look at that guy#but undertale itself has so many cool themes u can build off of that i just. i wanna grab and squeeze em out like juice#and i mean its not like i can do www at the moment I've written like... 9k this month it ain't going good#might as well just enjoy the depression spiral. i know that doesn't sound very possible but yknow. we rock w it#im just in pain all the time... ill go back to the docs soon and maybe just start taking straight up opiods#but until then i can only do things if i feel there is absolutely 0 pressure on me to do them#once again thanks school system i love these learned behaviors you traumatised into me they're really useful#what was i saying? did i mention im a little scatterbrained atm
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Not that anyone rlly cares except my husband but! I am back on Tumblr :) took a long break for health and such and because I had little interest in the web for a while. Good to be back I missed seeing my funnies and sillies (mutuals and ppl I follow) 💜
#don't have high hopes for my posting#I've never been much for that anyway lol#but you'll all see me spamliking and reblogging and such again!#i have new interests now so themes might change. . .#my friends do not be afraid when i look different and start posting about dp&w :)#which i watched. of course i did <3#i actually went to see it in theatre!! very exciting#very fun although i did not understand the cameos and such. . .#on my second watch (arrr) i understood the plot much better and it is infesting my brain#theyre everything to me atm#if anyone would like to talk to me abt them i invite it! wholeheartedly!#i am also interested in learning about spiderman as spideypool seems very fun#i've looked at an ootsit of fic. . . but i garner little from it#anyway! sorry for long rambling tags#glad to be back everyone <3
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Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up
#rat rambles#stars posting#like I have a vague idea of some of the like themes I imagine being present late game but it doesnt change the fact that act 5 isnt very#duo looper au friendly especially in this case with most of the ideas I have#I rly want it to be both a breaking point for them as individuals and a breaking point for their relationship but idk how to go about that#fully taking the rest of the party into account especially since Im not even sure if I wanna give odile her own friendquests#like I Could but I also think it'd be fun for many reasons to not#and even if I Did itd be hard to justify having both be able to happen and go wrong in one loop#and theres not rly a good solution to that I think so my best bet is probably to just leave odile friendquestless#but Id rly like to still have odile quarrel with the rest of the party in a significant way#idk maybe it can be the scene where sif comes back to the lighthouse or smth?#like he comes back and odile just completely lashes out at him or smth and the others get rly upset with her#but then theres also the whole walk through the house that I have to figure out and Im also not set on how that should go#maybe it can be like reality almost splitting as they both try to use timecraft at the same time?#not sure how Id go about portraying that in story though since the rest of the party cant rly experience that I think#Im sure theres some way you could pull that off tho Im just too tired to have any good ideas atm#and then the biggest bastard comes in. mal moments.#like I cant just put them both there! that's not how that works!#and I dont wanna just leave them mostly vanilla thats boringgggg#but Id probably have to. alas.#afterwards is also a bit fuzzy but I have rhe general idea down#me and the bestie when we both made the same wish but dont know that and have both been falling into a spiral over it#(we dont even realize that the part of the wish that was the exact same was the core of the wish)#(we both just thought that we accidentally trapped the other with us in this hell)#(we also have been actively getting worse at communicating for months now so by the time the wishcraft stuff came up we were both deep in#the no feelings talky talk zone)#(we probably should have known smth was up when everyone started consistently thinking that we had a fight every loop)#(maybe we did but we just didnt want to admit they were right)#god I wish I was more confident with writing odile dialogue I wanna draw scenes from this au so bad#it doesnt help that I got too comfortable being into a media that had like 3 fans and now ppl might actually look at what I create
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I'm soo ready for fall! my self ship fall moodboard of me x Suguru! 🥰🍂🍁🎃🤎🧡❤️
🍂🤎 fall dates include; pumpkin patch wondering, crispy fall rainy kisses / dancing, cozy home baking (cookies, pies etc!) / movie marathons, enjoying the beautiful foliage of the bright colors of the trees, backyard bonfire with yummy tea/coffee while snuggled under a warm throw blanket, cute autumn pics / selfies, a nice peaceful walk around town to enjoy the beautiful fall weather, cute little picnic dates, bookstore stops, pumpkin picking + carving, attending to an autumn festival, hay rides / mazes, apple picking. 🤎🍂
#need it to come alreadyyy#i want to start decorating and go to placessss#god I love this season sm you guys 🥺😭#these are sooo fun to make! may make more later! <33#gonna have a decent amount of fall themed blurbs/fics when i get to it!#I'm definitely getting fall scented candles to help set the atmosphere LOL (I'm obsessed with this season sorry!)#but anyways! me and Suguru's fall moodboard! was bored and currently stuck on writing stuff atm so bam! have a moodboard!#dates with him in fall would be sooo so cozy and amazing! (dates with him in general would be anyways! but in fall omfg HEARTS IN MY EYES!)#geto suguru x me#geto suguru#jjk#self ship#self shipping#fall 🍂🍁#moodboard
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i just. remembered again that i have a fembaru fic but also the premise is. Very Messed Up hah and also it was written before the canon genderbent au with its official genderbend names for everyone so its also outdated on top of that T^T i had like. Genderqueer subtext going on too. but i also wrote this fic like almost two years ago and havent touched it in forever so im unsure if i should go back to it…. o.o but i would love to finish it one day if only for my own satisfaction hah… i had a very detailed outline for ch 2 (its a twoshot) and several scenes written already anyway!! (and also i would probably update those names, make minor edits, etc etc hmm…)
#just thinking about this wip again………… mmmm….. not super confident in my older ao3 fics but the premise for this one was like. i think i#ended up brainstorming it with a friend or two and then i was like wait holy shit howd this play out. and then i took about two weeks to#write ch1? :o#and then i like. REALLY got into revolutionary girl utena after finishing ch1 so like that def bled into um. the themes.#just. thimking…….. bc ive had so many ideas to explore like. themes regarding gender and misogyny and Choice and destiny and queerness and#all sorts of things….. bc rezero Touches on them and is even Detailed on them sometimes and id Love to go in depth. but im also a bit#nervous to bc 1. writing fic is….. so much work sometimes fr and i am but a lazy writer and 2. the slight anxiety of what if i get flamed#o.o wild to think about…..#like. i have ideas for emilia fics that are. definitely darker maybe a bit controversial but i will go off the walls with writing for the#sake of answering the questions of. can this be done. and is it possible to narratively critique canon and fandom treatment of emilia. that#sort of thing.#not that im the best writer ever akdbdnd but i do like darker fiction sometimes. and i also like being meta about things in fiction. and i#also like writing to get out a tiny bit of salt. etc etc.#i tried to write these kinds of thinngs with my atm sole emilia centric fic that i wrote. uhhh more than a year ago? and i would love to try#again one day bc ive def improved and changed as a writer since then. u know what i mean?? :o#just like. rezero and queerness is very interesting to me.#suffaru post#saving this on the blog bc i talked Too Much about my writing process here HAH#my writing process being: HOW FAR CAN I TAKE THIS IDEA AND HOW OFF THE WALLS CAN IT GET????#in reality tho im really just a massive nerd whos gone down a massive rabbit hole of writing anime fanfic. 😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏#if you actually read all these tags big thank you HAH
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chicago is so two years ago, fall out boy (1, 6) / heaven, iowa, fall out boy (2, 4) / save rock and roll, fall out boy (3, 5)
#myevilposts#fall out boy#i originally based this around 'i need more dreams and less life' + 'twice the dreams but half the love' but it unfolded#so nicely all together like this. really interesting how it wound up fitting so well!#the connective thread of cistya took me by surprise but like. it's all there. themes and all.#the themes of death and loneliness and the passage of time that permeate these three songs.............#'be careful what you bottle up' + all the lyrics about holding your breath...... i'm going to do something drastic.#plus the sheer scope not just implied by all the forevers but also the 20 years connecting these three songs. 'half your life#you've been hooked on death' indeed. eating them atm.
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I get to kiss my girlfriend in ONE WEEK!!!!!
#this is the only thing keeping me going atm#it’s been almost 2 weeks since I’ve seen herrrr :((#also we made plans to go to redacted pride and redacted theme park together…. I’m so exciteddddd
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as i played a little chrono cross the game booted me out after a boss fight (boo) so in order to not rage play i switched to stardew and. lemme tell u about my silly farmer. she's. hope of faith farm whose favorite thing is charity and has a dog named adam. she always attends church on sundays with the others and i regret only a little that i'm too commited to the bit now. keeping her ass standing on the middle back pew from 11 to 2 to the best of my abilities. it's as time consuming as it sounds (affectionate)
#nano bits#stardew posting#silly updates#i will be naming her horse eve and her first chicken lilith and i am not accepting criticism atm (jesting)#i'm having her romance maru as per my dice app told me to. her farm is very small n i think she's lovely :)#full disclosure i am not a religious person but i have to give my silly farmers A Theme or else i Will Not know what to name stuff#the second farmer Leda of Swan farm has a mythos (question mark) theme. she's tiny and got elliot on the raffle#third one is Xander of Firth farm who names their animals after currents and sea stuff. got married to haley in autumn of 1st year#Jada i havent played wirh a lot but shs'a from evergreen farm ao im guessing the theme was gema or plants#my whole thing is that i ask for a random letter or a random name from someone ik and jog from there#dad gave me and l for leo; then mattie said leda; then i asked dad for another letter and he was like x! .... okay j. so xander.#the the dicine providence told me hey yk what would be very funny :) so hope and theeeeeeen. i randomized a letter on a site and jada!#Ahat happened to the tag about leo#he married sebastian and everything is named after constellations. yeag
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ougughhgg i wanna draw my ocs so bad but...the Obligations....
#which is me saying i'm balls deep in freelance work atm#got a deadline tonight a check in tomorrow another check in monday a different thing due in ten days#and at least two other upcoming illustration projects#which is great financially bc if everything goes through i'm more than set for the year#but also my brain is clogged with oc thoughts and i don't have the time to get them OUT until like. tuesday#sunday if i play my cards right. which is. mm......da adhd.....#rattling the bars of my cage i wanna finish that serena and phil comic and that honeybee comic and draw dalien again and grimm and yarrow a#AND i've been havign thoughts abt machina ex...oigh#mostly loose there though it's beginning to grow a plot#my problem is i can't just make a story for fun it has to have Themes so i can't just like. settle for shit. most of the time#behind the scenes
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what if I started working on a new theme for my birthday??👉👈 (even though that's at the end of march tehe) that would be crazy.... right?? right??
#anyways ive never been too bothered about themes but all my mutuals have such beautiful themes that its inspired me!!🥰🥰#theyre so pretty and it makes me want to do pretty things too#although i do love my current insta header type thing i have on my pinned atm<33#sage.words
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okay poll cancelled I have made the executive decision to move a majority of my normal blogging to @cowboysmp3 ! I will still post regularly here, but with more of an art focus with occasional txt posts/rbs abt current interests!
i’ll reblog this a few times over the next few days before i make the full shift :)
#SORRY TO MESS ROUND MY BLOGS ATM#I'm about to graduate from art university so i need to tidy up my socials a little :(!#my pfp/icon might also change semi soon as I create a theme that is cohesive everywhere!#sorry if u followed me not for art! but that is actually primarily who i am#so it makes sense for my main to be that <3#mutuals I would love to see u over there too ♡♡♡ i want to stay interacting with y'all properly
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#the responses are qifrey & oru themed responses like in their voices.#a staple bound amateur zine!!! not a perfect bound type semi professional 'zine' lol#i was thinking 20 pages but like#i have SO much material? i could do this every few months and have them fit the seasons. give them a spring-themed cover this time#do a serious illustration one and then another one collecting the comic type things. i can do whatever i want...........#sorry to the person who asked me to sell prints...😭 im trying but..i just dont understand this stuff yet....#ive tried to figure it out on inprnt but it wants me to blow up my images to like 1400x1400 or something... who draws that big?????????#are yall zooming the heck in on all your art??? ive ordered a copy of my own art while inprnt was on sale to see what it looks like...#i do small b&w drawings atm.......i dont know how to make work that suits proper prints 😭
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