#so it’ll be something fun to write at any rate

[ishido-enjoyer]

While I was reading Mary Elizabeth Berry’s biography of Hideyoshi I couldn’t help but notice so many parallels/similarities between Hideyoshi and Napoleon. One of these days I’ll get around to making a (long) post on this subject, even though I doubt anybody will read it. 😅

[misasimagines]

least to most jealous! (Tokyo Debunker)

included characters: all of them except Subaru I'm so sorry!!!!

rating: Technically SFW but suggestive

warnings: unhealthy and toxic behaviors, some suggestive (sexual and violent) content though nothing graphic. GN reader.

Okay, some clarification:

Regarding Subaru: I HAVE to give a disclaimer here and say that I simply do not get him. I’m so sorry Suba fans. I just think he's lying and acting and I'm not comfortable writing for him when I can't figure out what his deal is.

I've been working on this for days and simply cannot perceive it any more so please forgive typos and... god everything else. It's so long.

I formatted it as "bad end" and "good end" so the bad ends are like the absolute worst and most exaggerated negative outcomes and behaviors while the good ends assume everyone behaves as if they are capable of being rational (which they are). This doesn't mean to romanticize any of the toxic behaviors, we're just having fun :)!

If you disagree.... [I am already laying dead on the floor]

Zenji

Bad End: You have to be the toxic one for a bad end and you have to be downright CRIMINAL to make Zenji break up with you. You have to be breaking his damn heart because he'll forgive you for so much. You could be having sex with a bunch of other people and plan the timing so he'd see it and he'd sadly be like, oh of course, I can't really show them that kind of affection the way that I am… I'm grateful they spend any time with me at all. If you do this to him, I'm killing you actually. If you cheat on Zenji, I'm coming out of your Tumblr browsing device like the girl from the Ring and I'm attacking you. He's TOO GOOD AND SWEET for you to do this to him 😡😡😡

Good End: He's very forgiving and understanding and doesn't really get jealous. If he's worried about you being unhappy with him or his situation, he will talk to you about it and give you 100 outs to break up with him amicably. If you refuse them all and tell him you don't want anyone else, he'll be overjoyed if not still feeling very bittersweet. Expect to hear a sad little poem or song about lovers doomed to live on opposite sides of mortality or something.

Jiro

Bad End: You’re going to have to be the toxic one here for a bad end and that bad end is very simple and succinct. He tells you that if you want to see other people, you can break up with him. And then he waits for you to respond because he’s not putting up with this. If you break up with him, that’s that, he’s washed his hands of you and is moving on. If you ask him out again later, he’ll just tell you he doesn’t have the time to waste on someone who’s so disloyal. If you don’t break up with him, and you are a cheating bastard, when he sees it (and he WILL, because his ass is NOT DUMB), he’ll break up with you and ask that you don’t bother him again. Further attempts at communication will be very brief.

Good End: He’s too straightforward for this. If he sees you being “too friendly” with someone, he will ask you point blank what was going on there. He doesn’t mind you being friendly or affectionate with other people, he doesn’t overreact when you get hit on, he doesn’t have a problem with you wanting to spend a night with friends instead of him. He’s just like, that’s fine. Bring a jacket because it’ll be cold. If you’re uncomfortable because someone’s hitting on you, he’s just like okay, I’m in the situation now, and that’s generally enough to stop anyone from being handsy or flirty with you because Jiro is like 6’6. Who’s trying to fight him, let’s be real. If they keep going he’s just like, okay I’ll take my s/o and go then. Just an unbothered KING. This is what you want in a man BELIEVE ME. He just behaves rationally and calmly even if he could chainsaw someone to death.

That being said, if he has to chainsaw murder someone to death, I don't think he'll feel that bad about it.

Ed

Bad End: He might pull some of his sickly old man cards out to be like ah, my dear, please don’t leave me today while my health is failing. You should cancel your plans and watch this Youtuber stream the process of building a house in the rain forest out of clay and sticks with me… I need you to take care of me... He just milks your sympathy for all he can get. 

Good End: Really, he’s not TOO worried because he is immortal, he is a powerful vampire, and he does kind of want to have a degree of separation from you due to your fragile human mortality. I can’t imagine Ed being the most monogamous lover, and while he might not be interested in pursuing other people while he’s with you, I can see him adopting a stance of “you’re young, you should experience all life has to offer” in regards to your social life. He might poke at you like oh, did the young lad you went to see a movie with take adequate care of you or do I need to make up for his inexperience now? He’s not too worried if you go elsewhere, he has time, he’ll be the most serious love in your life at least.

Luca

Bad End: He jumps to conclusions, big shocker. He reads into your emotions and expressions and uses them as evidence to prove his own beliefs. He thinks he's doing right by you, protecting you, when he sees you frown while talking to someone or recoil when they try to touch you and immediately jumps in to protect you. He scolds people and doesn't hesitate to start and end a fight if they react aggressively. But also…he perceives a lot more danger towards you than there is, and can't always differentiate his jealousy and your actual safety. You end up with a lot of friendships being destroyed by your knight in shining armor who can't stop threatening people with bodily harm if they don't back away from you. When he sees this bothering you, he stops intervening on your behalf when you can see it and starts doing it behind your back. You're just weaker, it's fine, he's stronger and it's his duty to protect you even if you don't always agree with it.

Good End: He still jumps to conclusions and assumes the worst, but you can talk him down. No, Luca, one unhappy expression doesn't mean this person has dishonored me and my entire family. You don't need to pull your swords out! He is a gentleman more than anything and doesn't want to burden you with his own insecurities, so he tries to hold back and only brings things up to you when he's too worried to be quiet. Admittedly, it's not super often that he's jealous. He wants to think the best of you and doesn’t think that you’d actually reciprocate any of the advances that anyone makes on you. He would not date someone who he doubts is capable of loyalty. Also, he's so focused on his own goals, sadly you are kind of a second priority to him even if he would never admit it to you or himself.

Alan

Bad End: He's more protective and suspicious than jealous and does get it into his head that you're fragile and delicate and anyone could hurt you. He worries that you can't see the dangers he can, so he just…happens to be nearby when you're out for friends, just in case. He wants to know where you'll be so he can come get you immediately if something happens. And if someone does cross your boundaries, if they lay a hand on you, if he sees you look scared or uncomfortable? He'll comfort you after they're dealt with. Just don't be scared of him, you might not have known you were in danger, but he knew what they were thinking and planning and they won't ever be able to threaten you again.

Good End: He isn't the most technologically adept so he does want your itinerary before you go out without him. It is for safety and not jealousy, because he truly doesn't get jealous too often. He trusts you and he trusts your judgement, he has to or else he wouldn't be dating you. He WILL still step in the second he sees that you're uncomfortable, and he WILL lay a bitch out if necessary, but it's normally enough for him to just walk up to you to get anyone to back off. He still wants to set certain boundaries, like he doesn't like you going out at night alone because it's dangerous, not because he's afraid you're meeting your secret lover. If he had that many doubts about your loyalty, he would just break it off.

Haku

Bad End: You really are the forgiving type, huh? Oh, you don't know what that person did? Well, he really shouldn't tell you if you don't know. It'll come out if it has to, right? Just be careful around them. - That's what he does. He sows seeds of doubt in your relationships, so carefully that you don't even realize it's a pattern and eventually you're really not sure who to trust. Haku is always honest with you though, so you can trust him, and if he gives you a pitying look when you say you've made a new friend with someone, it's probably safest to drop them before they hurt you. He really isn't the most jealous, so he doesn't do this too often, but he does it whenever he is, whether he feels guilty for it or not. Ultimately, he IS just protecting you. They might not have done anything to hurt you YET, but they probably would if he didn't step in.

Good End: Otherwise, he's really pretty chill. He believes in your right to agency and if you do ever break any boundaries, he'll talk to you about it and decide if it's something he can live with. It's not like he's a saint. The charming, flirtatious comments come out naturally and he won’t stop complimenting the cashier/waitress/etc if it means getting a discount or better service. That benefits you, too! So what if he makes a few jokes about “my s/o saw you from across the bar and really digged your vibe” and the like. He isn’t serious, not like he is with you, and he’s happy to spend all night proving it to you.

Ritsu

Bad End: Somehow he knows everything about everyone you've been around, talked to, dated, etc. He's pulling receipts. You spent 20 minutes talking to X. Tell me what it was about. You went to this place before our date but it's outside of your routine and I don't see any reason for you to have been there. Please explain clearly why you went and what you did there. He probably has a full dossier on you and he keeps it meticulously updated and you can know about it if you want, but it's probably beyond your understanding so he'll only let you glance at it before he's locking it back up. He wants to draft up contracts, probably, and might even try to get restraining orders for you against people he feels are threats to you and your relationship. And if you're upset about it? Well, you already agreed to section 14 clause B, so if you break up with him now you'll suffer the consequences of breaching your contract. What are the consequences? That's another thick binder, you don't need to read it because you won’t have anything to do with it as long as you don't break your obligations to him.

Good End: He's still very organized and detail oriented, but he's also like: Okay, if I have proof of you cheating, I'm obligated to break our contract- I mean relationship. Essentially the same thing. He doesn't feel as much of a need to obsessively watch over you since he feels confident in the terms he laid out and your verbal agreement to abide by them. If you hang out with someone else, you should tell him what went on and know that if you're found committing perjury or in contempt of the court (okay Ritsu, same thing), then he's breaking up with you. He trusts you but still needs clear communication.

Tohma

Bad End: He always knows where you are and who you’re with and he knows everything about them, too. Interesting that you were hanging out with a known playboy, did you really think he cared about you or are you just as bad as he is? No, that’s not an insult, he’s merely asking. - Tohma asks leading questions and gets you confused so you end up saying exactly what he wants you to say, even if it’s not the truth. Yes I was no I wasn’t here or there or?? And then he’s holding your hand delicately and kissing the back of it and telling you not to worry so much, it’s easy to make mistakes, but that’s why he’s here to help you. For most of the people he doesn’t like you hanging around, he has a reason to convince you to stay away from them. He's not above paying someone off or threatening them or blackmailing them to stay away from you. You get so flustered and upset when you’re confused and uncertain, so he’ll just take all of that uncertainty out of your life. If that means that all you have is him and his hand selected friend group for you, that’s good enough for you both, right?

Good End: He’s still surveilling everything and somehow knows that that person you’re talking to has 2 DUIs, but he just offers this information to you when he really thinks it's dangerous. Like, if you’re hanging out w/ Mr. Drink and Drive, he won’t necessarily say anything unless you’re going to be going out with him to drink and or drive somewhere. In which case, Tohma will tell you that he uncovered some concerning information about their ability to drink responsibly and ask that you use your best judgement. If you choose to still go somewhere potentially dangerous with them, he’ll just do what he has to to keep you safe there and make his disagreement known, but he won’t force you to do anything unless he really thinks that you are walking into inevitable danger. It’s really less jealousy and more being an overbearing and overprotective boyfriend who would baby proof your apartment for you if you so much as tripped over your own misplaced shoes once.

Sho

Bad End: It starts with you hanging out as a trio: Sho, Leo, and you. It's fine at first, and he pretends it doesn't bother him when Leo is snuggling up to you or jokingly calling you their s/o. He just pulls you away and holds you close and tells Leo to back off and Leo laughs and acts like he wasn't even being serious. And then you have inside jokes with Leo, and not him, and you're invited to hang out with Leo alone, and sometimes Sho walks into a room and he SWEARS that you two were talking about him before he walked in. Over time, he can't help but feel every action of possession towards you is just humoring Leo, who really has you, but he also knows the second he stops wanting you or admits his loss, Leo will get bored and throw you aside like an old toy. Only Leo doesn't let his toys go for someone else to pick up and enjoy. He breaks them so no one would ever be able to love them again. So Sho stays and deals and shares you and never feels like he really ever has you, but he can't let you go or you'll be ruined forever.

Good End: He's not too worried. He does his own things, has his own friends, his own plans, and he'd kind of think less of you if you lived exclusively for him. If you want to go out with friends, even if it's with other guys, he's fine, he just makes sure to kiss you extra messily before you part ways for the night and tells you you better not go forgetting about him while you're away. As if you could after that. The only person he kind of gets bothered by is Leo, and that's more for your safety than because he's afraid of you cheating on him or falling for Leo. He knows him and he knows that even though Leo is his friend, maybe even specifically because he is, he wouldn't hesitate to use and manipulate you. So Sho tells you to keep your distance (as much as that's possible) from him. He does also want to meet anyone that you get close to are already are close to, partially to make his own judgement about their intentions and partially to be ready to put on a show of treating you better than they ever could.

Haru

Bad End: Two words: Guilt Trip. Oh, you wanted to hang out with someone else today? That's fine! He'll tell Peekaboo and the other animals you're too busy to see them. They're animals so they won't really understand, but he'll do his best to love them enough for the loss in your affection. And wow, that other friend of yours, you hang out with them a lot. Should he be worried? Haha! Just a joke! He wasn't serious, you're responsible and you wouldn't abandon him and everyone else when they need you. You're not a bad person like that. - So you end up canceling plans with other people and staying with Haru. You can't stand putting more on his plate… he also has a tracker on your phone and asks where you were in a casual way so if you say something else, he's like. Weird! That's not what I thought, but you'd never lie to me, so I guess I can trust you! (He does not.) It just gets to the point where you’re not sure how much he knows, because he never really admits how much he does, but he always seems to know more than he’s letting on.

Good End: He doesn't MEAN to guilt trip you with sad pictures of Peekaboo when you're out with other people, he does just miss you and he's worried he's too much for you to handle and feels like he has to convince you that you love him. You can tell him he doesn't have to worry about it, you like spending time with him and he's your priority, but just like he needs to sometimes put his job first or go hang out at Rui's bar, you need to spend time with other friends and do things on your own! He still can be a bit clingy, wanting to know where you are, who you’re with, making sure they’re not hitting on you or anything because he KNOWS you’re a catch, but you can just calmly redirect that energy and he’ll cool himself off. He’s not unreasonable!

Lyca

Bad End: He's a territorial dog through and through. He doesn't like anyone touching what is his, he doesn't want anyone encroaching on your space, and he is very sensitive to you smelling like anything he isn't familiar with. He will cause a fuss and jump to violence if someone gets handsy with you, even if it's innocent, friendly, and consented to by you. A friend hugs you? No, nope, that's not okay. Your HIS favorite and no one is going to take you from him. Mostly, it stems from a place of fear of losing you, of being abandoned again. He doesn't see you as completely innocent the way some of the others might, and it's a toss up whether he's mad at you or mad at the other person. Why would you try to leave him? Why would you let someone take you away from him? Why does everyone abandon him?? Even at his worst, I don't see him wanting to lock you away or anything since he knows from experience how awful that is, but he would insist on accompanying you everywhere.

Good End: He's still a dog and he's still afraid of you leaving him, but he has people like Subaru who talk him down and convince him that it's okay if you have other people in your life! Lyca does too, and that doesn't make you less meaningful to him. He doesn't like strangers (to him) getting too close to you, so you really do have to do that introducing him through a door to your other friends thing, the same as you would for a new pet. And you probably have to make some allowances around letting him take some of your clothes to snuggle up with when you're away.

Kaito 

Bad End: Everyone is a threat to his relationship with you and he’s a swinging pendulum between overreacting on the spot and trying a number of things to prove you’re with him OR going home and sobbing into his pillows, preparing for the inevitable “we should see other people” text. He will overreact, realize he overreacted, and then send you a slew of texts apologizing, explaining himself, apologizing for the mass of texts, and then being like oh haha lol my phone fell and typed all that, you can just delete those texts… He gets really stuck in his head about it all and will start begging you to not leave him and just tell him what he can do to be good enough for you. It doesn't matter what you say, how many friendships you cut off, how much time you spend with him- he's never going to think he's worthy enough for you and he's never going to trust that you aren't trying to move on.

Good End: He still struggles with trying to prove his worth and being very easily upset about perceived disloyalty. He's easier to talk down though, and you just need one good conversation to tell him that you love him, you want to be with him, and if he feels threatened or unsure, he should tell you first and not try to “fix” problems in your relationship that aren't even there. He feels better after that, and he has a long way to go to gain more self confidence and even trust in others, but he definitely can do it with time and effort.

Rui

Bad End: He's very torn. On one hand, he loves you, he's grateful for you being in his life, and he knows if he COULD, he'd take such perfect care of you that you wouldn't even be able to think about leaving him for anyone else. On the other hand…he knows he has one big limitation, and hates to think that you would suffer from his curse as well. So he convinces himself that it's fine if you're intimate with someone else. He can't touch you, but that doesn't mean you should go untouched. He'll agree if you want an open relationship and it will absolutely devastate him but he'll smile through it. He'll just be perfect whenever you're with him, never disagreeing, always complimenting and praising you, never giving you any reason to want to leave him. It gets to the point where he's acting in every single situation with you, completely overwhelmed with nightmares of your relationships with others, but desperate not to lose what little he has of you. 

Good End: He's still suffering from some insecurities about what he can't give you, and does try to overcompensate in every other field of romance to try to make up for it. For your part, you just have to make it clear that you DON'T want anyone else, that you will make it work with him, and the lack of intimacy might suck but it hopefully won't be permanent and you'll wait for him! This sentiment is so earth shattering for him he wants to just pick you up and spin you around on the spot (but he won't, don't worry). He still gets some worries every once in a while, but do the Pushing Daisies thing where you kiss him through cling wrap and share sweets and drinks with him for “indirect kisses” and sweetly ask to sleep in his clothes to be close to him and he'll be able to let go of a lot of his pressing worries.

Ren

Bad End: He has bad coping mechanisms and he's very pessimistic and negative. Of course he sees you walking with someone else and he convinces himself you're cheating on him. He doesn't go straight at you with this, though. He starts with making self deprecating comments like, “Yeah whatever, of course you're late. Why would you be on time for me when you were having such a good time with someone else?”  and then specifically name-dropping this other person like asking if you had a good time with them, even if you weren't with them, and he's like rolling his eyes when you deny it. It goes so far and he becomes completely convinced that you're cheating on him, but… he doesn't want to break up with you. He keeps complaining and when you snap and you're like fine! If you don't trust me at all, why are you even with me? That's when he's hugging you too tightly and saying it's fine, he can put up with it, just don't leave him, he'll still be your boyfriend even if you're a cheating whore- he didn't mean that.

Good End: he's still jealous and jumps to the worst conclusions, but you talk to him! Because communication truly works wonders. And you can tell him you have other friends but only one Ren 💜 and he says you're cheesy but he feels better. Just when you're out and you run into anyone who he has suspicions about, it's best to be a little annoying with how much PDA you're showing him. Like hold his hand and snuggle up to him and call him terrible pet names and he HATES it but he also feels so very comforted by it all. There are still plenty of times where he talks shit about other people he doesn't like you hanging out with though, so try not to take too much offense and just clearly remind him he's being a dick and you're about to spray him with water if he doesn't stop it.

Leo

Bad End: Honestly, he's offended that you're making him feel this way. What kind of abusive gaslighter are you to be manipulating him into being worried about your loyalty to him? He's the victim. How are you going to fix it? - That's what he does to you. He uses his own (overacted) feelings to make you feel guilty and morally in the wrong so you fawn over him and apologize and try to make up with him. He'll let you grovel and beg and he'll sniffle through fake tears and pet your head and tell you that you're lucky he's so forgiving, no one else would put up with how bad a person you are. He's really a saint for taking you back after you talked to and smiled at that barista today. You won't do that again, right? You won't talk to anyone he doesn't want you talking to? You won't go out without him?

And… well, since you were an adulterous cheater… it's only fair he gets to have his fun without you, right? 

Good End: I mean he's still a dick but you don't let him get into your head. No, bitch, I was not hitting on the cashier at Walgreens, I was buying Plan B because SOMEONE claims to be allergic to latex. He does like pushing your buttons and it's hard to tell exactly when he's seriously jealous (Why would he ever be jealous about you? They're only hitting on you to get to him, obvi). He does plenty behind the scenes, posting you but never your face, keeping your information extremely private and impossible to get to, blackmailing anyone who might know you personally and risks letting anything out. He's doing it for his image, not yours. Okay, maybe it’s a little bit for your image, he can’t be seen dating trash.

Bonus: Even though he is possessive, he would scheme to get you to do things with Sho. He's like I don't care, treat him like a toy I bought you 💜 I’ll watch and help you get the most use out of him.

YANDERE LEVEL!!! Consider them tied for first place:

Yuri

Bad End: Yikes! You just became this doctor's most favorite lab subject! And since you're his favorite, you can't be sullied by the dirty, germ ridden worms outside. You should stay with him, and he'll take care of you, especially because you're so sick. You weren't sick when he fell for you, but you keep getting worse and you're sooo grateful that he takes such good care of you. It's terrible that you ended up bedridden for days after seeing your childhood friend or favorite coworker or someone else you USED to be close to, but he makes your medicine specifically for you and keeps your room at the perfect temperature. Could you ask for a more doting boyfriend? He reminds you that your condition worsens when you go out in public, so he'll supervise any visits anyone wants to make to you. And don't cry that no one has been coming for the last few weeks! They weren't good enough for you (he denied their requests to visit). He's all you need. Really, you won’t even see Jiro after a while, but it won’t matter because you can’t even get out of bed without Yuri to help you.

Good End: He's so insecure and his grandiose act is an act, it's fake it till you make it theatrics. He will swat at Jiro and scold him like there won't be a tomorrow if poor Jiro talks to you or tries to do anything physical towards you in your checkups. Yuri has to be your ONLY doctor, he can do all of it! Please let him do all of it. He assumes you're looking for someone better, so he's constantly trying to convince you he's the best or that you have to only have eyes for him. Even in the good end, he is trying to forbid you from going to certain places (Frostheim) because he's afraid you'll leave him. He wants you to just stay in the lab or otherwise nearby so he can see you on his time and make sure you're not talking to anyone else out there… He just doesn't deal with jealousy well, but it stems from severe insecurities more than anything for him.

Taiga

Bad End: Till death do us part, kitty-cat. When he commits you to memory it's over for you. He'll drag you out of any situation he doesn't like you being in, making sure to show off the entire time that you are absolutely not an option to anyone but him. He's very quick to violence and will be covered in blood and horny more often than anyone really should be. He doesn't really care about your agency in things. You pissed him off and made him jealous, but it's not you who he's going to punish. He's going to beat the other person until they're unrecognizable, and he'll keep doing it until you get it through your head that he was dead serious about death being the only thing that's getting you away from him. Kind of jealous where he reacts poorly and then holds your head still so you have to look at the consequences and he's like, that's all you, kitten. That's what you made me do. If you don't like it, don't piss me off again.

Good End: he's still easily jealous, and he wants to react with violence, but you're not into that and you can convince him it's not worth his time. So he'll make some threats and that's normally enough to get people to stay away from you both. He likes when you hang around with him, his pretty little kitty, but he also gets in moods where he wants to be alone and can't put up with another person so he's not too bothered when you hang out with friends. As long as they don't put any moves on you and you're in his bed at the end of the day, you can do what you want. Just if anyone asks, you're his. No arguments or they're getting shot.

bonus: Probably would be willing to share you with Lulu, just he wants to watch or be involved as well. His two pretty kittens <3 

Towa 

Bad End: oh baby he's killing the competition. He doesn't even hesitate. Someone dares put their hands on you? Lightning strike. Anomalous animal attack. Poison in the water supply. He does not have patience with dealing with people who, to him, want to ruin your love story and hurt you. He doesn't really acknowledge your agency in most things. You're his sweet little Dandelion and those disgusting people are trying to take you away from him. Don't worry, he'll protect you and you can go right back to being his obedient little love. You're not pushing him away, you're just brainwashed by those evil people. Just stay close to him (you don't have a choice) and he'll put it all right again.

Also…he wants Haru in the love story too. He's like the kid slamming his dolls together to make them kiss, so congrats on two boyfriends? Towa’s very doting towards both of you even if he forgets that you can't survive off eating flowers and sometimes you need to sleep.

Good End: He can be the kind of “cute” jealous where he's pouting, wrapping his arms around you, biting you for attention and to assert dominance, even throwing things at people who he's bothered by. You can scold him but he's just biting you harder now and trying to drag you away where you won't be bothered by the mean people who are interrupting his time with his Dandelion. He doesn't really GET the boundaries you try to set, but if you word it right, then he'll respect them. You think he's respecting them, at least. You don't see him poisoning people behind your back. 

He still wants you and Haru to be together too though, so, I mean again, congratulations on the two boyfriends even if Haru is politely excusing himself and apologizing whenever Towa tries to initiate a threesome. Is this a good end? Towa is just kind of Like That. Godspeed.

Jin 

Bad End: It starts slow, he wants to know why you were late. Who were you with? And then he wants to check your phone and read your texts. And then you don't know when he's reading your texts because he set something up that gives him access to your phone whenever he wants. And then people you thought were your friends don't want to talk to you anymore and actually seem a bit afraid being around you at all. And then you're upset and you don't know who else to go to but Jin, who says they're all good for nothing assholes and you don't need them.

And then there's really no reason for you to go to classes or have a job. All you're good for is being his servant, and you like it, right? Because he buys you things, specifically jewelry that you can't take off yourself, bracelets that feel like handcuffs and necklaces that feel like collars. But more than that, you just like being his. It’s easier to not have to use your little brain to make bad decisions. So just stay with him, do what he says, and he'll take care of you.

Good End: It starts the same way as the bad end, but you call him on his shit. He doesn't need to know all of these details and if he does, you'll tell him. He needs to trust you or else he needs to break up with you. He might break up with you, because he's mad that you're being insubordinate and then a few days later he's texting you to come to his room and he's like…whatever, that argument was stupid. You can’t be dumb enough to want anyone else when you have the best anyone can get. (Come cuddle with me before I go crazy.) You have to put up with a level of his emotional immaturity to be with him, but he'll mellow out a bit over time with the jealousy. He'll be more amused at people he thinks are lesser than him trying to hit on you and kind of just likes to mess with them instead of being straight to social ruin and murder. Anyone he actually feels is a threat though, that'll be an argument if you want to keep them in your life because he's stubborn and arrogant and knows he's right.

Romeo

Bad End: No, he's not jealous. He doesn't let himself get to that point because when he sees you with someone else and he doesn't like it? Get in the cage. Lol. No, I'm not joking. Definition of possessive. He doesn't like you talking to his subordinates even when he tells you to. He doesn't want you going out of his sight, and honestly, it's easier for him to keep you protected if you just never leave your room. Your room being one that he's made up for you, decorated, and fitted with security cameras so he can check on whenever he wants. 

He just wants to hold you and brush your hair for you and pick out outfits for you and let you lay around in perfect luxury. And if you want to leave? You don't need to walk as long anymore. You're not going anywhere. (Guy who cuts your Achilles tendon so you can't walk. There, I said it.)

Good End: He's so jealous. He's snapping at anyone who gets too close to you or you get too close to yourself. He is demanding to check your texts so he knows you're not talking to people he wouldn't approve of. This is toxic as all hell, so you can (risk your life) tell him he needs to CHILL. Like you'd waste your time with someone else when you already have the prettiest boyfriend alive. He likes the ego stroking and he can't deny the logic, he's not dating an idiot. You just have to make sure you're giving him enough reassurance that you don't have any interest in anyone else, and sometimes let him let off that insanely jealous energy by threatening someone. I know this is labeled “good end” and he's still toxic but this is good for Romeo okay, Romeo fans aren't trying to get with him because he's been to therapy. You know why you're here.

[enid-rhees]

hiii i was wondering if i could request a hazel x reader fic where isabel hosts a party and the fight club all play seven minutes in heaven and reader gets paired with hazel and things get a lil hot n heavy

omg yes yes i love this sm !! tysm for your request anon <3 !!

— warnings: heavy make out session, nothing too spicy [MINORS DNI]

— a/n: i am now officially writing for Hazel 🫶🏻

“what are we? TWELVE?” Josie shouted, as PJ just suggested you all try to play Seven Minutes in Heaven.

Isabel had thrown a party only days after the fight on the field, and everyone in the fight club was invited. you took a seat next to Brittany, but also directly across from Hazel.

from your observation, she looked nervous, like she didn’t want to be here. you guessed that parties like this weren’t her thing, and they weren’t yours either.

she looked over at you, your eyes meeting. but you immediately broke your eyes away from hers, putting your attention back on PJ.

“oh c’mon! don’t be like that, it’ll be fun!” PJ argued back, “we have enough people! pleaseee!”

“okay! fine! let’s play it.” Josie finally gave in, sitting down next to Isabel. you chuckled at the small bicker, shaking your head slightly.

Isabel placed an empty beer bottle in the center of the circle. “so whichever two people it lands on, they have to go inside that bedroom,” she pointed to a bedroom behind Hazel, “and spend seven minutes inside of there. and don’t be fucking lame and sit in silence.”

you took a deep breath and crossed your legs, leaning your arms on your knees and holding your head up on the back of your hands. Isabel spun the bottle, and it rotated around everyone, and then slowed down, eventually landing on… Hazel.

Hazel stared at the bottle with a blank expression while everyone started to cheer. meanwhile, your heart has dropped. the thought of Hazel being with someone else in there hurt just a tiny bit.

“Hazel! you will be going with…” Isabel trailed off as she spun the bottle once more. it felt like an eternity, just watching the bottle spin and spin. you blinked, and suddenly the bottle was on you. “Y/N!”

cheering erupted from the girls once more. you looked up at Hazel, who was blushing profusely. your heart rate sped up, and then Isabel was pulling you up by the hand, pushing you towards Hazel.

“you have seven minutes! no more, no less! and do something good!” she shouted as she pushed the two of you inside the bedroom. she closed and locked the door.

the two of you stood frozen in place, unsure of what to do or say. you swore Hazel might’ve been able hear your heartbeat from how hard it was beating.

“one of us needs to say something.” Hazel pleaded in a whisper. “what am i supposed to say in this situation?” you responded back.

there was a moment of silence before Hazel spoke up again, “i’ve… noticed the way you’ve looked at me before.” you looked away from her when she said that, now looking down at the ground.

Hazel sighed and walked closer to you. she grabbed your face in her hands, forcing you to look her in the eyes again. she pulled you closer, and then your lips met.

it took you a moment to process what was happening, but then you grabbed her waist and kissed back. her lips felt so good on yours, it didn’t even feel real in that moment.

Hazel gently pushed you back until your knees hit the edge of the bed and you fell back on it. she crawled on top of you, keeping you locked in underneath her. your lips reconnected in a messy and needy kiss.

you had spent months fantasizing about this very moment, you underneath Hazel while she kissed you with all she had. your bodies tangled with each other, your hands wandering over her body, just wanting to take in every little bit of Hazel.

she kissed you feverishly, barely breaking apart from your lips to breathe. Hazel didn’t want to lose a second of any minute she would spend in here with you, not knowing if this would be the only time she would ever get to have you like this.

Hazel eventually broke away from you, but only to connect her lips to your neck. the shy, quiet version of Hazel you were so used to seeing had vanished, leaving you quite taken aback at how she was acting right now. you gasped as her lips softly sucked on the skin of your neck.

“Haze,” you whimpered, and she pulled away to look you in the eyes. you tangled your fingers through her hair and pushed her back down onto your lips.

you didn’t want this moment to end. anything to keep kissing Hazel like this, you would do it. she was so addicting, you still couldn’t believe this moment was actually happening.

Hazel’s hands slid under your shirt, and you shivered at how cold they were. she squeezed the skin of your hips, softly kneading the skin. you sighed into her lips, keeping your fingers locked in her hair.

the door suddenly swung open, not giving Hazel any time to pull away from you. all you heard was a screaming cheer in PJ’s voice. “shit, they were actually about to fuck.” Josie exclaimed from beside her.

Hazel crawled off of you and you both stood awkwardly next to each other, despite what just happened not even thirty seconds ago. “your time is up, girls.” Isabel smirked, “but it seemed like you two lost track of time, hm?”

her face turned a bright red while yours burned, and you two were suddenly avoiding eye contact once more. you walked out of the room and she followed seconds later. you leaned against the wall while she stood next to you still.

“i’ve been wanting to do that. for a while now.” Hazel admitted out of nowhere. you looked over at her, smiling slightly. “me too.”

she walked closer to you, now leaning on the wall with you. “you know,” you spoke again, and swallowed a knot in your throat. “we could always… ditch this party and go to my place.”

Hazel stared at you for a moment, before taking your hand in hers and dragging you to the front door, not even bothering to let the girls know that you were leaving.

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Tagged by @iinryer @butchdiaz and @eddiebabygirldiaz to do a 2024 year end fic round up! 125,710 words over 26 fics… damn… at least one fic a month and now I desperately want to try and finish something in the next few days so I dont break that streak for December… we’ll see… okay here we go! Thank you to everyone who’s read anything of mine, I had a lot of fun writing and I hope you had fun reading!

January

I got love to give, and give and give 1,638 words, rated T, melancholy and fluff, Hen and Buck bestieism

“What’s up with you, Buckaroo?” She laughs, poking his silly cheek.

“I love you,” he says, so sweet, looking even happier just to say it. “So much, Hen. Do- did you know it?”

“Yes,” she says, laugh still in her voice but chest a little tighter. “I know it, Buck.”

He drops his cheek to her shoulder, and then turns his head quick to kiss the spot. “Good. You’re the best. You should know it, a- a hundred- a thousand percent.”

—

Hen thinks about Buck at a party

the more we move ahead the more we’re stuck in rewind 4,278 words, rated T, the Buckley’s bad parenting

Bobby frowns at his phone, then leans over to show the screen to Buck. “May keeps sending me these memes,” he says the word wrong, and it makes Buck’s eyes sting for some reason. “And I just don’t understand what on earth this is supposed to mean.”

Buck coughs, mostly to cover up for the way his eyes are watery, and blinks at the screen. He doesn’t know how to say thank you, for any of it, but maybe he can at least figure this out.

—

After the factory fire, Buck’s parents show up at the station. It goes poorly. Written for the bad things happen bingo prompt: backhand slap.

only the best will do 801 words, rated G, silly wedding fluff

Buck gets a little intense about wedding planning. Chimney hides in the kitchen. Eddie is a man in love.

February

and I know I should go but I’ll probably stay 2,535 words, rated T, buddie hurt comfort

It’s unpleasant, enough that Buck screws his eyes shut and breathes and tries to pretend he’s someplace else. Chris is at the Wilson’s tonight, it’s their turn in the rotating childcare-for-date-night agreement that Hen seemed to have been eagerly waiting to sign them up for. It had been the third thing she said when they got together, right after congratulations and I’m so happy for you. Anyway, they’re going to go sit down at the Thai food place they usually only have the time and energy to order from home. It’ll be nice. Three months in and Buck still gets all giddy when Eddie holds his hand out in public. Or anywhere, really. He could slide their fingers together at the bottom of this stupid pit and Buck would feel all fluttery and starry eyed.

—

Buck and Eddie are both hurt on the job and a choice has to be made. Written for the Bad Things Happen Bingo square “Take Me Instead”

won’t you close your weary eyes 3,714 words, rated T, Buck and Bobby hurt comfort, parental feelings

Bobby doesn’t actually hear the warning shout. Or- it’s possible that he did, in the moment, but he has no memory of the sound. Just Buck, 20 or so feet away, turning towards him mid conversation with a look of horror on his face, mouth open around an unheard word, arm moving slow motion up in what he's sure is a frantic wave. He does hear the sound of impact, an almost comical series of hollow metallic bonks. They'll all laugh about this later, he thinks on the way down. Bunch of pipes dropping on the fire Captain's head. Pretty sure he saw that on looney toons.

—

Bobby gets a concussion and Buck stays with him. Written for the bad things happen bingo prompt: concussion.

March

the going water and the gone 31,547 words, rated T, cruise ship spec, Eddie missing presumed dead, angst with a happy ending

It doesn’t take long for Buck to be cleared to leave. He’s given antibiotics for the water he swallowed, a handful of bandages to cover shallow wounds, and instructions to take it easy. Horror clenches in his stomach. Eddie is gone and he gets off with Advil and a nap.

—

Eddie is missing presumed dead after the cruise ship sinks, Buck tries to keep his promises

I’d shine up the old brown shoes, I’d put on a brand-new shirt 3,565 words, rated T, friends with benefits buck/natalia, Eddie and Buck feelings realization through giving Chris dating advice

“No, I need, like-“ Eddie sighs so hard it almost sounds like static. “I need… guy help. Will you just come over?”

“Are you-” Buck turns away from Natalia and kind of hunches over the phone, making his voice quieter. “Are you having a penis problem?”

“What?” Buck’s never heard Eddie that high pitched. Loud, too, enough that Buck yanks the phone away from his ear and Natalia snorts with barely contained laughter behind him. When he brings the phone back in, Eddie is making a lot of blustery sounds, which Buck waits out until he finds words again. “Wh- No! No, I don’t have- I’m not having a ‘penis problem,’ Buck!”

Buck shrugs at the air in front of him. “Okay, Eddie, you’re the one who’s hiding in a bathroom and said you needed my ‘guy help,’ what was th-”

“Oh my god, Buck, I need relationship advice, okay!”

—

Chris is going on his first date. Eddie calls Buck for backup.

what useless tools ourselves 4,905 words, rated G, Buck in the hours after Eddie’s s5 breakdown

After Eddie chokes out what he can of a tragedy nearly a decade in the making, and after they go together to make sure Christopher is okay — the kid's eyes are wide where they meet Buck's over his father's shoulder, Eddie still trembling as he holds him — they sit back down at the kitchen table and Buck cleans Eddie's knuckles.

—

Buck, between the breakdown and dawn. Written for the BTHB prompt bloody knuckles.

April

when we’re barely awake in the heat of the day’s weight 1,037 words, rated M, buck/tommy early relationship tenderness

“You okay?” The man asks, voice rough with sleep though not too loud even with his mouth maybe three inches from Buck’s ear. He’s so soft. All his hard edges and he’s just so soft.

“Yeah,” Buck half-whispers, relaxing into him. “Sorry. It’s just, uh- been awhile since I woke up someplace new.” He hadn’t been paying much attention to ceiling texture when they’d stumbled to bed last night, either. It matches what little glimpses he had been paying attention to in Tommy’s charmingly vintage apartment. Brick exterior. Funny orange tiles in the kitchen. “Think it might have been since, uh…” Shit. He’d been to Natalia’s once for just a few minutes because she had an ornery roommate, and Taylor always came to his. Ali found him the loft specifically to have a nice place to wake up in after fucking. “Uh, Abby, maybe.”

—

Buck wakes up at Tommy’s place and they have a conversation about taking up space

you’ve got too much to wear on your sleeve 4,136 words, rated G, buck/tommy hurt comfort

“Uh, sorry.” He stares down at Eddie’s shoes. “I just think I’m- I’m kind of scared.” He eventually understood, intellectually, why Ali left him. It was a lot. She didn’t really get the scope of what she was signing up for. His leg had turned something fun and casual into something suddenly dead fucking serious. So, yeah, he understood, but he’s not sure until this moment that he really, actually understood. Tommy’s down that hall somewhere, and he got hurt at his job which is dangerous, and Buck is wondering how awful it would be to flee back through all the hallways and out of Pasadena to parts of the city he knows better, and go and find a nice safe girl with a nice safe job so his chest won’t ever feel like this. Or, only feel like this sometimes, with Eddie or Hen and Chimney and Bobby, or Maddie, people who he’s already seen bleed so he knows they can do it.

—

Tommy’s helicopter goes down. Buck fixes the station AC unit.

If you go down to Hammond you’ll never come back 1,339 words, rated G, early relationship buck/tommy fluff, madney wedding spec but more like madney wedding au really, prophetic daddy joke

“Oh, uh.” Eddie shrugs, stretches. “You know. Buck. It’s kind of… who he’s become, who he’s proud of being. I guess, I mean- we haven’t talked about it specifically. But yeah, I think… it’s like the turnouts, you put them on, feel good about who you are in them. And it’s the name he’s used ever since he came here, it’s- neat. Like, a clean break from when he… was young, and alone.” He shrugs again, smiles a little. “His friends call him Buck.”

Tommy’s thumb slips in the condensation on his glass. “Should I-”

“No.” Eddie’s voice is very soft. “I think… for most of his life only Maddie ever said ‘Evan’ and meant ‘I’m happy to see you.’ I think… it’s good, that he has that with you.”

Tommy just- tries to remember how to breathe normally for a second. “I am,” he says. “Happy to see him.” A funny, shaky little joy in his stomach every single time he looks up and sees Evan Buckley.

—

Eddie and Tommy talk at the wedding

May

that makes calamity of so long life 1901 words, rated T, buck/tommy fluff and angst, tragic backstories

The afternoon sun sneaking through the curtain lights him right up, glowing in his curls and against his cheek like the air itself can’t help but touch him. It makes Tommy feel kind of out of breath, kind of out of his depth. “Sometimes I think I must have made you up," he says, because the walls aren't melting but this still feels like a dream.

“I was.” Buck says it softly, and then blinks, like the words were out of his mouth before his brain could catch them. “Made up,” he says, a clarification that doesn’t make anything clearer.

—

Tommy learns about Daniel, and thinks about life and safety and caring about things

Autolysis 5,607 words, rated T, Bobby Nash goes in the blender, parental feelings, guilt grief and depression, food as a metaphor for love and what happens when you dont have enough of either

Buck dies, and he’s cold right away. They all are, this isn’t the kind of summer storm where the rain is almost warm. It’s freezing out here, even under all the layers of their gear. Bobby’s sure his own skin is corpse-cool, but he holds Buck and the harness pulls him stiff in his arms, and his body is cold, and he thinks Wait. It’s happening too fast. Wait. He’s dead, and Bobby lays him carefully on the gurney, and he rides up front with Eddie as they tear through the streets towards the hospital, frantic noise and movement reaching them from the back. He’s dead when they pull up to the doors. The human body begins to decay after four minutes, starts to consume itself, the final hunger. Bobby hears the crack of his sternum when Eddie’s palms press so far into his chest his heart starts to beat again. 43 seconds to spare.

-

Written for the bad things happen bingo prompt: make it look like an accident

June

big heart, I wanna let it bleed 2,106 words, rated G, buck joins the team a little younger au, buck and Bobby feels

Buck looks happy as a dog with a bone, glancing at Bobby with a mile wide grin. It's a familiar kind of look, though it takes until they're almost at the ambulance — Buck chatting away all the while — for him to place it, and it nearly makes him stumble when he does. Robert would give him that look when he made a new friend on the playground and got invited to hang out. Please, Dad, can I go? He's sure Buck didn't mean anything by it. Bobby doesn't have that authority in his life, nicknames and Springsteen concerts nothing that adds up to a tangible connection. And the kid- well, he's not a kid. 25 years old, can arrange his own playdates perfectly well.

July

I know the words, I know the sounds 2,147 words, rated G, buck/tommy breakup because one of them realizes their best friend they’ve been in love with forever is suddenly an option, oops wrong best friend

“I’ll step on your toes,” Buck warns, turning fully towards him and vaguely holding up his hands for Eddie to do whatever it is that needs to happen to make the dancing start.

Eddie snorts, moves one of Buck’s hands to his shoulder and holds the other, and taps his shiny dress shoe very gently into Buck’s big toe. “Do your worst.”

—

Buck and Eddie dance at Tommy’s wedding

and the air was full 397 words, rated G, storm chasers au

There’s a crack in the sky, lightning glowing white hot across his field of vision, and it’s behind Buck but somehow his eyes are lit up with it. The thunder comes less than a second later.

buff in, fan dry, wash out 1,758 words, rated G, art student au, Buck and Shannon are friends and that makes his crush on her recently divorced husband kind of awkward

The old drawing — something abstract, all bold sweeping lines — slowly disappears as it wears away and gets covered by sludge. He always feels a little guilty, getting rid of somebody’s work like this. A little inadequate, trying to come up with something good enough to replace it.

—

Eddie stops by the printmaking studio as Buck and Shannon work

August

get out of the waves get out of the water 1,856 words, rated T, Eddie pov of going water and the gone

Eddie’s foot slides out from under him and his first thought is Oh shit, sorry. He’ll find that funny, eventually.

—

Lost at sea, Eddie dreams

Autobiography 13,152 words, rated M, Buck’s turn in the blender, unreliable narrator but its hardly his fault no one tells him anything about his own life, depression and suicidal tendencies, past assault, pet death that may or may not have happened, 😬, also a twine game

A dog runs into the street after a ball and gets hit by a car.

September

every moment points towards the aftermath 1,755 words, rated G, friends at the table crossover/au but you dont need to know the podcast to read but also you should listen to the podcast, they’re wrestlers, they live in New Jersey but it’s Weird

For awhile, in the beginning, every time Eddie meets Buck the other man has blood in his teeth.

October

should we talk about the weather 20,059 words, rated M, au where some people are drift compatible but without the giant robots, madney fluff and buddie angst and hen + chim bestieism

And then, in Los Angeles, 2018, Eddie had met Buck. Then, huddled over a man with a bomb in his leg, Eddie had needed gauze and Buck’s hand had moved. Then, in the parking lot bathed in the light of an ambulance on fire, Buck had inhaled and Eddie's lungs expanded. And, well, that was that.

cut through the knot 9,924 words, rated M, oh boy Bobby is in the blender again, the whole thing is a therapy session with Frank, long list of content warnings on this one I’ll just leave them on ao3, did you know i love that guy. i love that old man. sorry Bobby that i keep doing this to you

“I’ve been doing fine lately.”

“I’m glad. That’s not what I asked.”

Bobby frowns at Frank, who’s sitting as relaxed and neutral as he always is. “You’re a therapist. Don’t you need to know my… current mental state, something like that?”

“Sure,” Frank smiles just the tiniest bit. Bobby doesn’t know if that means he’s succeeded or failed at something. “But I asked: why are you here?”

—

Bobby goes to therapy. Written for the bad things happen bingo prompt: self harm

right here with you 1,112 words, rated G, the 118 basically in a cuddle pile as penance for what I put Bobby through in the last one

Bobby’s not convinced it wasn’t a stumble — he’s pretty sure he saw a kind of panicked look on Chimney’s face between the whirling limbs — but Buck lands on the couch somehow. There’s a lot of cushion space unoccupied, but he ends up half on top of Bobby, sort of sideways, sort of leaning against Bobby’s chest. He twists his head this way and that until he finds an angle that’s not too sore to look up at him. His grin is big and goofy, eyes a little vacant in the way that comes with strong painkillers, and Bobby laughs down at him.

—

The 118 recuperate after a rough day. Written for the bad things happen bingo prompt: cry into chest

November

3 new short fics in the all my life, there you go series

Family 1,211 words, 118 family feels, new buddie, Eddie and Maddie friendship

Phone calls 1,938 words, Eddie calls Buck drunk from wine night and confesses his love

Hand kisses 1,022 words, angst, Eddie’s moved to Texas and is centimeters from a big gay realization but is already trying to marry Buck anyway

Phew!!! We got through it! Hello down here! @colonoscopys @wildehacked @shitouttabuck @bigfootsmom @devirnis @chronicowboy @gayeddieagenda @homerforsure @ anyone who’s tagged me or I’ve tagged and who’s urls I’m forgetting, anyone who sees this and wants to brag, you dear reader, please share your stuff if you wanna!

[bokettochild]

Hello! This doesn't really align with the format, but for day 14 can you please do something with those tile enemies (the ones in that comic with Legend thinking about the worst thing he's faced)? I can't really decide if it would be better to torment the heroes unfamiliar with that enemy or to go with the ones that have dealt with them before, or a combination...

So, this did end up with less whump and more sort of...crack vibes? it was fun to write anyways, and I hope you enjoy!

Rating: General

Wordcount: 3,443

Summary: While Legend and Wind are getting their asses beat by a gleeok (see Day 12) the rest of the chain are trying to find them, which leads to a lot of fun realizing just how awful a floor can really be. Wild's pretty sure he hates dungeons, Warriors is torn, Hyrule is resorting to the worst humor ever, and Four would just like out now, please.

(Warning for copious amounts of bad humor and some movie quotes.)

-

  They should never have let Legend and Wind go on ahead. 

  Not that the skill of either of the two boys is in any doubt, but the skill of those left behind is somewhat lacking. While Hyrule manages just fine, Time is apparently much older now than he was the last time he took on a dungeon, and Warriors and Wild are not familiar with them at all. Sky lacks stamina, Twilight lacks speed, and Four lacks nothing, but he keeps getting stuck at the back of the group. It’s not fun, and it’s not very fair either, considering he’s pretty sure he could handle this if they’d just let him try. It’s just a path after all. Just floor tiles that flee from beneath their feet, but even so, that’s not the worst thing someone can find in a dungeon! 

  “Is there a way to skip this room?” Sky groans, not the first one to wonder, but the first to ask. 

  Hyrule puffs on a bit of hair falling over his eyes. “You wanna be the one to go back and look?” 

  The skyloftian does not and doesn’t suggest anyone else do it either. 

  Crushed beneath them, Four has half a mind to go himself, but he’s pretty sure that’s not even a possibility. No, because they’ve been taking the path two at a time like Wind and Legend, but rather than take off after the other two and risk getting split up, they’re waiting until everyone has converged on the islands of stable flooring in the room before moving on, and it means they’re continuously piling on top of each other to do so. So, at this very moment, he’s somehow managed to get trapped crouching beneath the captain and skyloftian as they wait for Time to bring up the rear of their party. It’s not ideal and it’s not pleasant and he’d really much rather be just about anywhere else. Again though, he can’t exactly go anywhere at the moment. 

  We’ll be last to get to go, Blue reasons, we should just dart on past the others and to the next island. 

  Blue. 

  It would work! 

  Except that we’ll still get crushed under everyone when they catch up again, so it’ll be pointless. Vio points out, which of course has the more aggressive aspect huffing, but there’s not really anything that anyone can say to deny that logic. 

  Aloud, Four groans. “How far off is the old man?” 

  “Not far,” Warriors assures, rolling his shoulders. “And since the path takes two minutes to reform, we won’t have to stay much longer after this.” 

  Murmurs, thanking various deity’s and spirits, rise from the group of them, and Four shuffles slightly, trying to relieve the weight on his arms while he waits until, at last, the old man’s feet touch stone and the last of the floor falls away. Then, they just have to wait two minutes (two minutes and fourteen seconds, as their leader helpfully observes) and then everyone else is moving off in pairs along the path. 

  Once or twice, hook-shots must be used to cover the remaining distance on time. No one wants to risk falling into the blackness below and none of them want to know what happens if you do. Legend had warned that it would probably take them back to the beginning of the dungeon, and there’s no desire for such a fate. They've finally all dried out again after dropping into the wetness that was that first room, and going back there and wandering through all the rooms again doesn’t sound pleasant, even if there won’t be any monsters left that they’d have to face to get through (hopefully). Personally, just the time it would take sounds miserable, and they want out. It was fun doing the dungeon with Legend doing the hard work and the rest of them free to mess around, especially since Legend seemed to be enjoying it so much and his own excitement was surprisingly infectious. Now though, Warriors’ wonder is beginning to fade and Legend’s not here to be strangely excited about death traps and pushing heavy things around and the like. Now it’s just them trying to catch up to the other two, who are probably still enjoying themselves while the rest of them suffer. 

  Earlier, every so often, they’d see a light go off in the depths of the room. It served the purpose of helping them realize just how much there was of the room, but also letting them know where the vet and sailor were. Not that the laughter and talking wasn’t something they could hear, but it echoed awfully, distorted and confusing, and they’d been unable to guess off sound alone where the two boys had gone off too. The lights have stopped coming on though, and the ones that were lit have already flickered out. 

  Warriors, with the use of a fire rod, has been lighting the sconces as they come to them, but the light only lasts a few precious minutes before fading, and he keeps having to relight it every time it goes out, up until it’s his turn to race along to the next stone island where the rest of them wait. Still, it’s not a lot of light, and Four is beginning to miss the actual light. He wants daylight, not magic, not fire, but sunshine that is just beginning to fade over the world, painting the sky in a dozen rich colors, all bleeding and swimming into each other so he can’t tell where one ends and another begins. He likes sunsets for that very reason; they remind him of himself. 

  They won’t be seeing the sun for a bit though, and he’s left sitting until nearly all the others have darted off, waiting for his turn, and then taking it as quickly as his shorter legs will carry him. He has to employ his Pegasus boots to keep up with Sky, which earns teasing, but the man really is fast, even if his stamina is shit.  

  “Anyone see an end ahead?” Time asks, groaning as he attempts to keep ahold of two of the younger heroes and keep them toppling over the edge of the platform. There isn’t nearly enough room on these things to support them all. 

  Hyrule, one of said younger heroes, takes advantage of their leader’s grip on him to lean out slightly, peering into the darkness. His eyesight is, surprisingly, the best, even in the dark, and while Four’s isn’t half bad either, he doesn’t pipe up. The traveler is more familiar with all this anyway, and he can’t provide much help himself, so he’ll leave it to ‘Rule. “I see a wall up on our right, and maybe a door?” 

  “Thank Ordonia,” the rancher groans. “Does the path lead up to it?” 

  “One more stop.” 

  There are a few more groans, but with an end in sight, they’re all quite eager as well. 

  “You’d think they’d wait up for us,” Warriors muses as they wait for Sky and Hyrule to dart off along the path towards the door, now that the path has reformed. “Or at least signal where they are.” 

  A few of the heroes glance at each other in the dancing light of the fire they’re gathered around, but Four is the one who answers their captain’s worry. “Maybe they got caught up in something?” 

  “No,” perfect brows furrow, “this is Legend, he doesn’t like splitting the group. Even if Wind didn’t, he’d have left some sign of where they went.” 

  “So maybe they didn’t find this door,” he shrugs, “they probably found another one. Dungeon rooms usually aren’t linear, captain, we’ll reach them with time.” 

  It’s some assurance to the man, and Wild too, who looks extremely uncomfortable at the moment and has since they entered the dungeon. The champion's been in awe of the place for the most part, but that was when there was light, and he looks a bit perturbed by the idea of such illy lit spaces. Four wonders why, but he doesn’t ask. He knows that many in their group aren’t keen on the dark, and considering their line of work, they have grounds. Had he gone through the same sorts of adventures they have, he’s sure he’d be wary too. As is though, it’s more just an annoyance than a thing to spark fear within him, and as they slowly move their way from floating stone to the doorway, he tries to be understanding about the wariness the others show upon reaching it. 

  “Vet usually peeks in first, right?” Wild asks, staring at the door like it’s a maw rather than simply an entrance.  

 The more dungeon savvy in their group exchange looks before Sky elects to answer. “Does it matter? Everyone has a different way of doing things.” 

  “’s dark in there any’ays, cub,” the rancher sighs, “ain’t nothing to see even if we did.” 

  “Let’s get it over with then.” Blue is definitely tired of sitting around and doing nothing, and Four blames his actions on the more aggressive aspect of himself as he snatches Warriors’ flame rod and darts through the door, brandishing the weapon in preparation for any attack that comes at him. 

  The room is empty. 

 It’s totally empty, and he can say that for sure, because the lights come on once he’s properly inside and reeal nothing more than torches and a stone floor, although there’s a door on the far side of the room, just as he’d hoped.  

  “Did- did the lights just come on by themselves?” When he turns, it’s to see the captain standing in the doorway, blinking against the sudden light and with one hand raised to shield his eyes. Even with that though, he can see the bright sparkle in royal blue, curiosity quickly overtaking ire once again as the captain looks about. If Four had to bet, he’d say their soldier would probably be a whizz at puzzles and dungeons too if he’d ever been given the chance, and though he’s easily surprised by the workings, he’d probably love to toy with them and learn how they do what they do, or at least watch them react to his actions. It’s sort of a shame the goddesses robbed him of the chance by giving the clever man a war to fight instead of a quest to undertake like the rest of them. 

  “Puzzle gods,” Four repeats. He means it as a joke, he does. He’s relatively certain there is no such deity in the hylian pantheon, although he’s heard some other kingdoms believe in trickster gods of various sorts, or so the books in Legend and Twilight’s eras say. Still, it’s funny to watch his brothers accept the explanation and even murmur it to each other whenever something starts being confusing. He’s certain he’s heard Time curse the supposed ‘puzzle gods’ a few times by now, especially when he’d had to use his hook-shot to avoid taking a dive when the floor went out from beneath him earlier. 

  Now though, the others all just sort of snort at his comment as they wander into the room, and it’s only once they’re all in that the true foe of the chamber reveals itself. 

  The floor. Again. 

  He’s just looking about, letting Vio and Blue take the lead as they look for patterns or words or anything to hint at the way forwards.  Honestly, he’s sort of shocked Legend hardly even has to look anymore, and no doubt the vet would already have answers for them if he was here, scoffing or chuckling as he pointed out what, in hindsight, would feel painfully obvious to the less experienced heroes as they’d follow his lead. He’s not here though, and so far, they’ve yet to find any sign of where he and the sailor went. It’s a bit worrying, and that’s where his brain is focusing when all of a sudden, he feels the floor sway beneath his feet. 

  Like any normal person, he darts away. They just came out of a room where the floor fell away as you stepped on it, and he has no interest in collapsing through this one too. Once he’s back to the others though, he learns that that is hardly the worst risk at the moment. 

  No, because the floor isn’t falling down. It’s flying up. 

  “What the-” they have no time to say much more because that’s about when the lifted tile suddenly launches at them, spinning and all sharp edges. 

  “What is this?” Twilight yelps, throwing himself to the floor and narrowly avoiding the tile as it crashes into the wall, just behind where his head was but a moment before. 

  No answers come. Both because they’re all too busy running from the tiles that are flying, fast and sharp and spinning at all of them, and also because how does one explain floor tiles trying to kill you? Four’s seen them, yes, but not often enough to suspect them the moment he sees an empty room, and by the looks on the faces of most of his brothers, they haven’t a clue what’s going on anymore than Twilight does. 

  Avoiding the awful things is a nightmare. He’s darting and throwing himself down, but the tiles ricochet off of walls and mirror shields, and despite all attempts, there’s really too many tiles and too many other people to avoid being hit by anything. The only advantage is that the things seem locked on his much taller companions, so Four has at least some chance of avoiding being hit. 

  The same is not true of Hyrule, who’s struck first and goes down with a bitten off cry. The fact that he’s made any noise at all though is a bad sign. The traveler never makes noise when he’s hurt unless it’s very bad or very unexpected. It’s a danger, he’s said, to be loud when injured, because the smell of your blood and your own injury endangers you enough; drawing further attention to your location is never a good thing. Luckily for him, lying on the floor and gripping his arm seems to be out of the target zone for the tiles, and they fly most pointedly at the adults in the group instead. 

  Sky, with a hiss, has drawn the master sword and, quite shockingly, is throwing himself in the path of the blasted things, swinging till they shatter and then moving for another. 

  It takes maybe ten minutes for the attack to die down altogether, and when it does, everyone but the chosen hero has collapsed against the wall, panting and catching their breath and their runaway hearts from the start of it all. 

  “Whoever designed this place is a monster,” Time groans. “Why would you have two floor focused rooms right after each other. Just, why?” 

  Warriors snorts, half laughing, half something else, something strained. “Keep us on our toes?” 

  Their leader grabs for a bit of fallen tile and chucks it. Hitting the wall right beside no longer coiffed locks with a growl. “Not funny.” 

  From the floor, Hyrule gives a strangled giggle. “I thought it was.” 

  “Hyrule thought it was,” Warriors states, pointedly, pulling himself to his feet and looking just a bit like a spider with the motion (the man is seriously all limbs) before moving to the side of their fallen brother. “How bad?” 

  “I fear I’m dying,” the traveler responds, staring up at the captain with a wince. “Promise to burn my body, will you?” 

  The captain’s face washes over with severity. “I swear it will be done.” 

  “What?” The speed with which Wild flies to his feet is frankly quite impressive, but the strained laughter of the traveler is apparently enough reassurance to stop him running to his brother’s side to inspect the damamge for himself. 

  Warriors looks apologetic as he takes the traveler’s arm in his hands, gentle but firm, eyes warm though as they flicker up to the champion. “We jest, Wild. ‘Tis but a flesh wound. He’ll live.” 

  “You mock my pain,” Hyrule giggles through a wince, clearly trying to lighten the mood, at least for the captain, or maybe just trying to distract himself from the sting of the rather nasty looking gash on his arm. 

  Time snorts, staring on, but not moving. They can’t help anyways so there’s no point in any of them rising for the time being, and giving the traveler and their medic some space is in everyone’s best interest. “Life is pain. Anyone who tells you different is selling something.” 

  “Pessimistic much?” Sky observes. 

  “Well read, I should think,” the captain corrects, already starting to mind the injury of their brother. “I believe that one was from a book. As was my own, if anyone was wondering.” 

  Time nods. “I’m surprised Wind hasn’t called us on-” and then he trails off. Wind isn’t here. Wind is with Legend. 

  “We need to catch up to them,” Four reminds. Not that he’s particularly nervous about what they’re getting up too, but he doesn’t know how much longer they can progress through a dungeon with the group split and no idea where and when they’ll come across the others. “Can Wolfie track them?”  

  “You can jist ask me now, Four,” their shifter reminds, “ain’t a secret no more.” 

  “Anymore,” Warriors murmurs under his breath. 

  “No more,” Twilight hisses back, grinning. 

  Four ignores both of them, even as a few of the others start rolling their eyes at the grammar battle. If left unchecked, this will go on forever. “Use your nose to find them then, if you don’t mind.” 

  “If you can,” Sky adds, glancing warily at the rancher. 

  Twilight agrees, and while black magic washes over the rancher, Four takes it on himself to peek through the now opened doorway on the other side of the room. All that lies within is a chest, no doubt containing the map they’re so in need of, or some other such tool he’s shocked they’ve made it this far without.  

  There aren’t any monsters in here. 

  It’s a chest room! Monsters aren’t in chest rooms. 

  Most of the time. Vio corrects. 

  Most of the time. Red agrees, and then, We should open it! 

  Green? 

  Yeah, no harm. Let’s move quickly though, Twilight should catch their trail soon. 

  So, he does. He darts across the room and, sure enough, the chest contains the map they needed hours ago. Honestly, he’s kind of shocked they’ve done so well without it, but looking it over doesn’t reveal much more than what they’ve already seen. They’ve worked themselves through all three floors already, and the only rooms they haven’t been to appear to be on the right of the falling floor room. Unfortunately, there’s no guide on how to cross the floor anywhere on the map. 

 Coming back, the others are staring and Twilight is absent. He holds up the map, nodding back to the room. “Our prize! It’s useless by the way, we already knocked out everything except the boss chamber.” 

  “Boss chamber?” Warriors, again, although Wild also looks confused. 

  “Dungeons tend to end with a fight with a larger monster in order to reach the end and gather whatever treasure is there.” Their leader groans his words, pulling himself up again and creaking worse than an old door as he does so. “During my adventures, that treasure was usually a tool or information, although rupees and other baubles aren’t uncommon either.” 

  “Bet you Legend’s already collected it by now,” Sky grins. 

  “Means they’ve already fought the boss,” the traveler points out. “And I know they’re capable, but-” 

  The skyloftian nods, “you don’t like the idea of them taking it on alone when we should be with them.” 

  “Yeah.” 

  “Well,” he rolls up the map, tucking it into his own bag and trying for a smile to his brothers. “We’ll find them, just give Wolfie a moment more and-” 

  As if on cue, their shifter companion darts back in through the door, barking once to catch their attention and then moving out. The motion is repeated again, and all take the cue to rise and follow. Warriors is finished with the traveler’s arm and they’ve mostly caught their breath. Now just to face the floor a third time and reach where the other two are likely waiting for them.  

  Four just hopes the floor won’t do anything else crazy when they get there. Legend's talked about boss monsters that are the floor itself, and if that’s what awaits them, Four’s going to start climbing the walls. Literally. 

[steddieasitgoes]

Pulling triple duty with this one.

Written for @steddiemas Day 29: Holiday Parties and @thefreakandthehair Spicy Six Winter Fanworks Challenge. It's also a holiday sequel to my big bang fic Signed, Sealed Delivered, I'm Yours

My prompt for the Winter Fanworks Challenge was: “If I wear that sweater to work, my boss will kill me."

Tags: Established relationships, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Mailman Steve, Platonic Soulmate Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley, Slice of Life

wc: 4003 | Rating: T

Read on ao3 | ao3 collection

The Brookbridge Post Office holiday party is a tradition that dates back long before Steve joined the ranks. Every year Warren splurges on renting out a private room at a restaurant or banquet hall before passing all the planning off to his assistant of the month. The only rule, as far as Steve’s aware, is that it has to be tied to some charity organization so that he can write the whole thing off later.

This year is no different as the invitation he finds shoved into his work locker has the Toys for Tots logo front and center. What is different is the attire section that requests all guests break out their best holiday sweaters for the occasion.

Steve’s not sure what constitutes a holiday sweater, but he has a closet full of knit red and green ones that’ll surely work. No sweat off his back. Especially since he’s also done with the toy shopping.

The holiday party isn’t Steve’s favorite way to spend a random Saturday in December, but he always sucks it up and goes. Usually drags Robin along with him so they can stand in the corner getting drunk off free drinks while making fun of Tommy and his gang of mini-me’s as they try to hit on everyone’s plus ones.

It’s not the highlight of their holiday season by any means, but it's a tradition they’ve had going for years now. One he’s not sure he wants to break this year even though he could take Eddie as his romantic plus one. Which is exactly what he tells Robin during their Saturday movie marathon.

They’re sprawled out on the couch, Dumpster between them, with Christmas Vacation playing in the background. They’ve seen it enough times to quote the entire thing from memory so neither minds the interruption. It’s not like they ever actually watch movies on their Saturday movie afternoons anyway.

“Are you kidding me, Steve?” Robin snorts, lobbing a pillow at his head. “Of course, you’re taking Eddie!”

“But we always go together.”

“Only because you never have a date!”

“So, what? You’ve been going all these years as my pity plus one?” Steve asks, nudging her with his knee.

“I’m sorry, did you think I liked hanging out in some stuffy banquet hall listening to Hagan and his little groupies try to hit on me?”

“Don’t forget the year Warren hit on you.” Robin retches, startling Dumpster from her slumber. The cat yawns before slowly climbing off the couch and down the hallway in search of somewhere quieter to sleep.

“Take Eddie. It’ll be fun!”

“Don’t you think two months of dating is too soon to be taking him to work events?”

This time it’s Robin’s bony knee that jabs into the meaty flesh of his thigh.“Jesus, Robs,” he hisses, pulling the hem of his shorts up to check for instant bruising.

“You’re dumber than I thought if you really think you and Eddie have only been dating for two months. What about all those months before, huh?” Steve doesn’t say anything, just rolls his eyes in silent protest. She’s not wrong, but she’s not right either. “Besides, it’s not like he hasn’t already met some of the people from work when he goes to the post office.”

“I mean, yeah, I guess you’re right,” Steve sighs. Still, there’s something lingering in the pit of his stomach. A gnawing, unpleasant weight that he can’t shake. He takes a moment to collect his thoughts before he brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Tommy’s going to be there, though.”

The same Tommy who has been a Grade-A douchebag since getting removed from Steve’s route and put back on sorter/greeter duty. Steve’s not sure why he doesn’t just quit if he’s so miserable but every day he finds himself on the receiving end of a lackluster death glare.

Also, the same Tommy who gave Eddie the nickname “Mr. Dreamy.” The same Tommy who relentlessly hit on Eddie until he finally got thrown out of his house once and for all.

The same Tommy who has no idea that the guy Steve is seeing, because yes, Tommy knows Steve is seeing someone and teases him about it daily, is said, Mr. Dreamy.

Bringing Eddie into that is a recipe for disaster. One Steve’s not sure he even wants to subject himself to, let alone Eddie.

“On second thought,” Robin says, scrambling to sit up. “Can you take two guests? I will suffer the gross gazes and bad pick-up lines of your male coworkers just so I can see Hagan’s face fall when he realizes you’re dating the guy he was after.”

Steve laughs despite himself, shaking his head. If there’s one thing Robin loves, it’s being a fly on the wall for some good, old-fashioned drama.

📬 🎄 📬

With Robin officially denying his plus-one invitation, Steve sets out to ask Eddie.

It’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, he knows this, but something about it also feels like a Big Deal — with a capital B and D. Sure, they’ve branched out from their routine lunch dates — they have a standing Sunday brunch double date with the girls and make a point to go out at least once during the week, plus Steve regularly stops by the shop now, but it's different inviting Eddie to go to a work event with him.

It’s another step in their relationship.

One toward a more permanent future and Steve doesn’t want to fuck it up by scaring Eddie away.

So he spends a week testing the waters. Asks Eddie about his holiday plans over Toasty Treats’ legendary holiday turkey sandwich on Tuesday. Brings up Tommy’s latest fuck up over chili leftovers on Thursday to gage Eddie’s feelings about him (“Jesus H. Christ he really is an idiot,” he laughs, clearly poking fun, but not in the teasing way he does with Steve that always makes his cheeks heat up). During brunch on Sunday, he goads Robin into sharing a fun anecdote from last year's party where one too many cocktails had her and Steve taking over the karaoke machine serenading guests all night with off-key renditions of Christmas carols.

When Steve steals a glance at Eddie he finds him smiling and laughing along with the story.

And just like that the seed is planted.

Steve finally gets the courage to ask the question he’s been dancing around for a week on Tuesday over leftover Chinese takeout.

“Course I’ll be your plus-one, Stevie,” Eddie answers mouthful of Chow-Mien. “I’ll be your plus-one anytime, anywhere, any—”

“Alright, you sap,” Steve laughs, leaning over the table to steal a kiss.

“Does this mean I’m finally going to see the back room where the mail sorter fairies work?”

“Unfortunately not. The party’s at the banquet hall in town.”

“Dammit,” Eddie sighs.

“Oh, and you have to wear a Christmas sweater.”

“Love me a good theme!”

📬 🎄 📬

Turns out, what Steve considers a Christmas sweater is very different from what Eddie considers a Christmas sweater. A fact he’s currently in the midst of learning as he glances around Eddie’s bedroom.

“Stevie, sweetheart, love of my life,” Eddie says, clasping his hands in front of him as he rocks on the balls of his feet. “That is not a Christmas sweater.”

Steve glances down at the knit sweater he’s wearing before fisting the hem and pulling it away from his chest to get a better look. He’s not sure what Eddie’s talking about. It’s totally a Christmas sweater!

“Yeah it is, Eds,” he defends. “It has a reindeer and a tree on it. That’s pretty Christmas.”

Eddie gawks for a moment before scrubbing a hand down his face. Steve knows he only does that when he’s frustrated so he braces for whatever he’s going to say.

“Objectively speaking, yes, it is a Christmas sweater. But it’s also not a Christmas sweater.”

This time it’s Steve who gawks at Eddie. He’s used to Eddie getting worked up over random things, but this is a new one. “Okay Christmas Sweater expert, what is an appropriate Christmas sweater then.”

“I’m glad you asked,” Eddie grins before stalking over to the pile of clothes on his bed. He shuffles through the clothes for a moment, tossing a few shirts to the wayside before he shouts victoriously and turns around clutching a red sweater in his hands. “Now this is a Christmas sweater.”

Steve can’t help the cackle that escapes him the minute his eyes land on the sweater. It’s a red monstrosity with an upside-down snowman sprawled out over the entire thing. A plastic carrot of some sort protrudes off and hanhs low, blending with the tinsel on the hat and two blue ornament balls that also dangle low

“If I wear that sweater to work, my boss will kill me,” Steve says through laughter.

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad!”

“Eddie!” Steve squawks, brows knitted together. “It’s literally a dick and balls!”

“Warren is a buzz kill,” Eddie sighs, tossing the sweater aside. Without another word, he reaches for another sweater from the mess on his bed and turns around. “What about this one?”

This one is green with a gingerbread man smiling in the middle. It looks innocent enough except for the fact that the gingerbread has bloodshot eyes and the words “let’s get baked” are stitched in big white letters followed by a marijuana leaf.

“Are you trying to get me fired? Again!”

“Hey,” Eddie scolds playfully. “I didn’t get you fired, I got you demoted. And we agreed it was both our fault. Don’t be putting the blame on me! Besides I’m just sticking with the theme.”

“Baby, the theme is Christmas sweaters not whatever this is,” Steve says waving his hands in the air.

“These are Christmas sweaters.”

“I mean, yeah, they’re technically Christmas sweaters but they’re not appropriate!” Steve laughs. “Where did you even find them?”

“Are you forgetting I work with artists all day? Me and the guys make them.”

“You made these?” Steve asks, snatching the sweater from his hands to get a better look.

Up close it's easier to tell that they’re homemade. The stitches are slightly askew, a missing thread or two here and there. Overall though they’re store-like quality. He didn’t even know Eddie could sew let alone sew an entire inappropriate Christmas sweater. If the tattooing thing doesn’t work out, maybe he and the Hellfire guys should start a clothing line.

“That’s pretty impressive actually.”

“So, does that mean you’ll wear one?”

“To my work party? Absolutely not,” Steve laughs.

“Come on,” Eddie whines. “Nowhere on that invite does it say it has to be appropriate!”

“I’m pretty sure it’s implied! Maybe you can get away with that at the shop's holiday parties, but Brookbridge is full of stuck-up employees. Warren might be sleeping with his assistant but I don’t think he’ll appreciate this,” Steve says, lifting the gingerbread sweater.

“I guess that means I should change then.”

“Wait, you’re wearing one of these right now?” Eddie nods, coaxing another chuckle from Steve. “What does yours look like?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

With eyes shining with mirth and that crooked smile, Steve loves so much, Eddie slowly peels off his leather jacket revealing the Christmas sweater he’s been wearing. It’s hunter-green and looks incredibly soft to the touch. Unfortunately, the words “Well Hung” are stitched in a bright green across the chest. Four baubles are stitched on underneath in various sizes trying their best to make the phrase Christmas-appropriate instead of the innuendo it is.

“Oh my god,” Steve wheezes, doubling over in laughter. It takes him a minute to compose himself and when he does Eddie is standing there beaming with pride. “S’clever and definitely true.” Eddie’s smile grows even wider at that. “But yeah, I think you should change, baby.”

“Ugh, you’re no fun,” Eddie groans.

“Hey, I’m plenty fun,” he says, quickly closing the distance between them. Steve gets his hands on Eddie, wrapping them around his middle and pulling him flush with his chest before searing a kiss to his lips. “But I don’t want to give Tommy any ideas. Don’t think he’d back off if he saw you advertising yourself like this.”

Eddie hums in consideration before reluctantly agreeing. Wiggling out of Steve’s grasp, he yanks the sweater off and tosses it onto the bed with the other rejected sweaters. Then, he sulks over to his closet to search for another sweater. A few minutes pass, nothing but the sounds of plastic hangers clanging against the metal rod filling the room before Eddie turns around with a huff.

“So, turns out I don’t have any appropriate Christmas sweaters.”

Steve laughs, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, I have a spare lying around. We’ll just stop by my place before heading over.”

📬 🎄 📬

They get intercepted by Debbie as they’re trying to leave, costing them an extra ten minutes they don’t have to spare. That added with the detour to Steve’s place and the inevitable quickie that follows when they realize Robin isn’t home makes them an hour late to the party.

But it’s not a big deal. Hardly anyone but Betty even realizes they’re late. And the only reason she notices is because she’s smoking outside the door when they get there.

“You clean up nice,” she says like she does every holiday party. Tossing the cigarette to the floor, she snubs it out with the toe of her boots before slowly dragging her eyes up Eddie. “You do too, Eddie, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I’m Eddie. And thank you, ma’am.”

Betty tsks, waving her hand in the air. “None of this ma’am crap. Just Betty is fine. Steve’s told me lots about you. Have you made a decision on that P.O. Box yet?”

Steve has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from snorting. That day doesn’t leave the best taste in his mouth considering how it ended, but it did start out with a lot of promise.

“Oh, uh, I don’t think it’s for me. S’much easier to have my mail delivered to me. Especially when he’s doing it.”

Betty glances at Steve and gives him another slow once over before winking at the both of them. “M’sure it is,” she laughs. “You boys better get in there. Don’t want to miss the fun.”

📬 🎄 📬

The banquet hall is decorated just as it always is. A giant Christmas tree sits in the middle. A handful of tables surround a small dance floor. There’s a buffet of food on one end, the donation table on the other. A small band is set up on stage, serenading the crowd with a mix of Top 40s and holiday hits. No karaoke machine this year much to Eddie’s chagrin.

After a round of drinks, Steve gets to mingling, introducing Eddie to the handful of coworkers he actually likes. The introductions are brief and his co-workers are quick to share embarrassing stories about Steve’s early days on the job with Eddie who listens and laughs along.

Eventually, Warren finds them, his wife draped lovingly on his arm while his assistant throws daggers his way from the bar. Steve puts on his best smile and expertly navigates the small talk, making a point to compliment Warren’s wife and joke about her being out of his league. Warren’s quick to excuse the both of them after that.

“He gives me the creeps,” Eddie shivers, watching as he guides his wife through the sea of people with a hand on the small of her back all the while making eyes with his assistant across the room.

“He’s definitely a douchebag,” Steve agrees.

He takes a sip of his drink as he scans the room. They’ve been here for almost two hours now and he hasn’t spotted Tommy once. Usually, he’s the center of attention at these things. Dancing up a storm and making it a point to flirt with everyone’s plus ones. Maybe he’s already staked his claim on someone and is getting lucky in the bathroom, Steve thinks before shaking the thought from his head. Who is he kidding, Tommy doesn’t have that kind of luck.

If he’s honest with himself, he’s sort of bummed that Tommy hasn’t made his presence known to him yet. Not because he wants to see him, he’d be happy going the rest of his life without having to share the same room with the guy, but because he wants to show Eddie off. And, okay, maybe he also wants to see Tommy’s face fall like Robin wanted to.

📬 🎄 📬

Steve is swaying with Eddie on the dance floor when the devil that is Tommy shithead Hagan finally materializes. He’s beyond tipsy, uneven on his feet, and freckled face flushed redder than Steve’s ever seen it. His eyes are glossy and his lips are curled in a way that sends alarm bells blaring in Steve’s head.

Trouble is afoot.

Afoot? Christ he’s spending too much time with Eddie.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Harrington.” He practically spits before whipping his head to stare at Eddie. “And oh, look what the postman dragged in. Yesterday’s mail!”

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says, taking a step toward Tommy. He gives Steve a mischievous look before cocking his head to the side as he gives Tommy his full attention. “Do I know you?”

“Oh don’t play coy in front of your little boy toy, darling,” Tommy slurs, reaching out to rest a hand on Eddie’s shoulder.

It takes all the strength in Steve’s body not to reach out and yank his arm away. Thankfully, Eddie does it for him, shrugging the offending hand off with more force than necessary.

“Oh come on,” Tommy scoffs, more of a whine than anything else. “Don’t pretend like we didn’t have the best times when Harrington got himself demoted. What’s it like getting my sloppy seconds, Harrington?”

“Watch it, Tommy,” Steve scolds, taking a step closer to Hagan. He’s not going to make a scene, he’s not. But he’s also not going to stand here and let him talk about Eddie like that.

Eddie scoffs, shaking his head. “If I’m anyone’s sloppy seconds I’m Steve’s. And they are very sloppy if you catch my drift.”

Steve bites the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. He knows he shouldn’t encourage this, but it's hard to be the bigger person when Tommy is standing right there purposely antagonizing him for his own gain. Sue him for wanting to play the game just a little.

“Sorry, Tommy, but Eds here is right,” Steve says, placing a delicate hand on Eddie’s shoulder before squeezing it. “Don’t you remember, I got demoted for hooking up with a “bombshell” in the van? Well, guess what, you’re looking at him.”

“That— that’s not what happened,” Tommy says, directing his words at Steve, not Eddie. “You weren’t with him! Aaron said you were with…”

Steve watches the metaphorical gears turning in Tommy’s head as he trails off. Can tell the moment things start clicking. He really had no clue that the guy Steve had been seeing was Eddie. Steve watches the stunned look spread across his face the same way it spread across his all those months ago when he caught Tommy leaving Eddie’s place. The gross realization that they actually do have the same type after all.

“Why don’t you keep moving Hagan,” Steve says, nodding his head in the opposite direction.

“Nah, I think I’m good right here, actually,” he says, confidence returning.

This guy just doesn’t know when to quit.

“Tommy seriously,” Steve tries again. “Go bother someone else. We’re not interested.”

“Oh, so you’re speaking for him now too?”

“Please,” Eddie scoffs. “You know I’m not interested in you. Never have been and never will be.”

That does it.

Steve sees the moment Tommy’s confident facade breaks. The rosiness of his cheeks grows into an angry red, flooding his body. His eyes, once glossy, are now laser-sharp and squinted. His fingers curl into fists at his side as he readies himself.

Steve’s faster though, stepping in front of Eddie at the same moment Tommy lunges. It would be easy to put an end to this once and for all. Give Tommy the gift of a black eye or bruised rib with one skilled punch that Steve would love to throw. But Tommy shithead Hagan isn’t worth losing his job for, so he reigns in his own anger and instead gets his palms on Tommy’s chest to hold him back.

“Don’t be stupid, Hagan,” Steve says. “Warren’s watching. Do you really want to lose your job for good this time?”

The words are supposed to knock some sense into the guy, calm him down. But it does the opposite, riling him up even more until Steve can practically feel his skin vibrating under his hands. Thankfully, Aaron and the rest of his minions are there in an instant, pulling him away and holding him back.

They try their best to calm him down but Steve can see Tommy’s anger growing by the second. He’s only seen him this angry once before — two months ago when Warren removed him from the route. He doesn’t need to see an encore performance so instead he reaches for Eddie’s hand and drags them away from the impending doom.

📬 🎄 📬

“Part of me still thinks you should have let him have it,” Eddie laughs, shoveling a mouthful of chocolate chip pancakes into his mouth.

“Tommy’s not worth it.”

“I would have been so pissed if I missed you deck him,” Robin says, working her way through her own mountain of pancakes.

“That’s the real reason you didn’t punch him, isn’t it?” Eddie teases.

“Oh yeah,” Steve deadpans, rolling his eyes. “Promised Robin I wouldn’t punch anyone unless she was there to witness it.”

“Does she also have to refrain from punching people,” Chrissy asks.

Robin shakes her head. “Why? Is there someone I need to punch in your honor?”

“Not yet,” Chrissy says, nuzzling into her side. “But if Eddie makes us go to the Birchwood Holiday party in these tonight, you might need to. Debbie’s nephew is in town and he keeps staring at me from the window.”

“Again with the sweaters,” Eddie huffs, letting his fork clatter to the table. “They’re cozy and hilarious. You guys are just boring! Besides, people are going to love my sweater. You’ll see. They’re going to be all the rage one day.”

“Debbie already thinks they are,” Chrissy giggles. “I saw her wearing the one that says “I’m So Good Santa Came Twice” the other day while she was taking out the trash.”

“You gave Debbie one?” Steve shouts, nearly spitting out his orange juice in the process. Robin does spit out her drink, through her nose as usual as she chokes on her own laughter.

“She cornered me and I panicked! I didn’t think she’d wear it!”

“Look on the bright side, Eddie,” Robin says between shrieks of laughter. “With Debbie’s help, every suburban mom in Brookbridge will be walking around in one by next Christmas.”

“It’s a good thing you know a great delivery man,” Steve teases. “Because they’re going to be flying off the shelves.”

“I’ve made a terrible mistake,” he groans.

As the table erupts into another fit of laughter, Steve can’t help but tug Eddie towards him before giving him a soft, syrup-infused kiss. And if he whispers something about feeling inspired by the inappropriate sweater Eddie’s picked out for him to wear later, well, that’s between him and Eddie and whoever’s bedroom they end up in when they leave Murray’s.

Besides, he still owes him for not punching Tommy himself at that holiday party.

And Steve always delivers.

[avengerscompound]

The Interview - Chapter 22

The Interview - A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Rating:  E

Warnings: smut (MF, vaginal sex)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Melody Danes

Word Count: 2904

Summary:  Melody Danes gets the break of a lifetime when as a lowly intern, she’s assigned to write a profile piece on Captain America.  Steve Rogers is a hard man not to fall for and as she and Melody get closer and Melody’s career takes off, jealousy leads to sabotage, and the potential to bring her whole world crashing down.

Chapter 22

Melody had gone to work the following day feeling more focused and a little more in control.  Steve’s fans were relentless and awful.  Melody wanted to lock her social media down but she needed it for work.  So instead she ignored it, letting the rabble call her every name in the book, both sexist and racist, and all completely delusional, and she focused on making her workplace safer.

Tony met her at the office by mid-morning and when he declared that there was no malware or noticeable hacks, he upgraded the security and added a fingerprint and facial recognition login to stop anyone getting into her computer.

“You really didn’t have to go all out like this,” she said, as Tony packed up his things.

“It’s nothing,” he replied, waving her off.  “Besides, we can’t have Cap’s personal business splashed around the internet.  It makes the rest of us look like complete deviates in comparison.”

“You mean you’re not?” she teased.

“Of course I am,” he said, winking at her.  “But I could do without the comparison.”

He gathered up his stuff and Melody walked him to the exit.  “Have fun on your trip.  I said Cap could take the jet. I’m staying in town so someone might as well.  But in exchange, we get him for Christmas.”

“That is a more than fair trade.  I don’t actually like going home that much,” she replied.

She stopped at the elevator with him and put her hand on his arm. “Thank you, Tony.  For everything.” 

He gave her a half hug, kissing her cheek. “You got it,” he said.  “Let us know if anything else happens.  If Cap’s got a stalker, it really is Avengers business.”

“Will do,” she agreed.

After Tony left she called a staff meeting, explaining what had happened regarding the email to Jameson.

“Look,” she said, leaning back in her chair and looking around at her team.  “I really love this team.  I trust all of you, but someone was listening in while I made private plans with my boyfriend.  I don’t want to believe it was any of you, but if I find out it is, it’ll be immediate termination.  That is a vile invasion of privacy.  I shouldn’t have to worry about coming to work and someone here stalking me around the city.  I had a rule when I brought you all one.  No assholes.  Please don’t be an asshole.  And if you hear about anyone alerting the paps about where I’m going to be with Steve, then let me know.  Please.”  She sighed and rubbed her eyes. “I’d put my money on it being Norah.  She doesn’t like me.  That’s no secret.  And she’s always sniffing about.  But I want to make it clear where my line sits.”

The rest of the day she spent making sure all the content was ready and queued to post while she was away and that all the projects that weren’t done yet had been delegated to other people.  She and Steve were planning to leave for Oregon straight from work and as it got close to the time, she was due to be picked up, she was glad for the fact the jet would wait for them.

By the time she was running out the front door of the building she was fifteen minutes late, frantic, and panicking that she’d forgotten something.

“Sorry, sorry,” she said to the driver as he held the door open for her.  She repeated it again as she slid into the backseat of the car with Steve.

“It’s fine, sweetheart,” Steve assured her.  “The jet will wait for us.”

“Yeah, but you were waiting in traffic,” she argued.

He laughed and put his hand on her cheeks and looked into her eyes. “It’s fine.  Relax.”

She didn’t really know how she could.  With what had happened at work, now she was flying home for the first time in over two years to spend a week with a family she was still angry with, and to introduce them to her new boyfriend.  There was too much to just relax about.  “Easy for you to say,” she grumbled, teasing despite the truth to it.

“Oh yes,” he said. “Very easy.  I’m about to meet my girlfriend’s parents.  Parents who rejected her best friend, a child who they thought of as family too, came out as trans.  Oh, and at a time when my fans are relentlessly attacking her online calling her names, I wouldn’t dare repeat.  It’s very easy for me to relax.”

She scrunched her nose and leaned in, kissing his plump lips softly.  “You’re not responsible for your fans.  Especially not fans that don’t actually seem to be able to interpret the message you’re putting out there correctly, because if they were real fans they wouldn’t be sending me the kinds of things they’re sending me.  And as for my parents, I’m mad at them and I’ll continue being mad even when they do realize that they chose the wrong side.  And I do truly think they will come around, because they raised me to be loving and opening and accepting.  Mom’s best friend rejected their child when they couldn’t accept they were a daughter and not a son and mom didn’t want to lose her friend by offering her a home.  When I walked out too, she put her back up, the way people do.  In any case, they will love you.  So you don’t need to worry about them.  And maybe you can help them see how they were so wrong.”

He caressed her cheek and stole another kiss.  “So what you’re saying is; we both need to relax.”

She laughed.  “Something like that.”

The drive out to the airport where Tony’s private hanger was kept was uneventful but when the car pulled onto the runway rather than going through security, Melody couldn’t help but look out the window in awe.  It drove right up to Tony Stark’s Boeing 737 and stopped by the stairs where a flight attendant was waiting.  She greeted them both as they got out and airport staff grabbed their bags from the trunk and carried them onboard.  Steve and Melody followed along as the flight attendant told them about their travel time and expected time of arrival.  The plane was far grander than I’d imagined.

Melody had never been on a private jet before, but in her head they were little planes with just a couple of fancy seats in it that rich people took so they didn’t have to huddle down with the masses.  This jet was large.  The kind people typically took for domestic flights between major cities, with the business class section of columns of two seats, and then two columns of three for economy.  Only instead of rows and rows of seating, there was a collection of four large swivel seats just inside the door to the cabin, followed by couches by a large screen and a bar, and then more further down that was walled off from view.  It was spacious and opulent, and her whole apartment probably could have been sliced up and fit inside.

The flight attendant led them to the seats just inside the cabin and gestured for them to sit.  “We’ll be taking off shortly.  You’ll need to stay buckled up for take off but then you have free reign of the plane until we land.  We will be serving a meal about three hours in.  Can I get either of you something now?  A drink?  Something to eat?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Steve said as he buckled himself in.  Melody shook her head and echoed Steve’s words and the flight attendant began walking down the cabin doing the takeoff checks.

“This is so fancy,” Melody said. “I mean - I expected it to be fancy, but this is fancy-fancy.”

“Yeah, it’s a lot. It’s very Tony though, and it’s really nice of him to have offered it.  I always feel so cramped up in economy,” he said.  “There’s a queen-sized bed back there.”  He gestured behind himself with his thumb.

She peered past him, looking down the length of the cabin down the hall.  “Seriously?  What the hell?” Her eyes flicked back to him. “You would have flown economy with me?”

He smiled and tilted his head.  “Of course, I would have.”

Melody hated the gap between them.  She really wanted to unbuckle the seatbelt, straddle his lap, and kiss him until they landed in Oregon.  Instead, she poked out her foot and tapped him on the shin.  “You keep that up and you’re totally joining the mile-high club today.”

“Keep what up?” Steve chuckled.  “Telling you cheaper modes of transport I’d take for you?  Oh, Mel, I’d totally hire an economy-sized car for you.  One of those ones that only have two doors and a hatchback.”

“Oh baby,” Melody laughed.

“You like that do you?” Steve teased.  “Then you’ll love this.  I’d catch a bus for you, Melody Danes.”

Melody’s hands went to her crotch and she flicked her fingers out.  “Sploosh,” she teased.  “My panties, Steve.”

He lost it laughing.  “I’d do Uber ride share for you, honey.”

They both broke down in peels of laughter.  The plane had begun to taxi out to the runway and as they settled back down again and when they were given the all-clear, Melody unbuckled her seatbelt and stood up. “I want to go look at the rest of the plane,” she said.

Steve stood and gestured to the back of the plane.  “After you.”

It was only a few steps down to the entertainment area with its bar, couches, and big screen.  “If you want we can watch a movie during the flight,” he said.  “And I’m sure Tony won’t mind if you want a drink.  Rhodey tells me there are stripper poles that come out from the ground somewhere here, but I don’t know if that’s true or how to get them to come out to see either way.”

“Oh man, Tony’s a card,” Melody said as she looked around.  “I wonder how many in-air strip shows have happened up here.”

“I’m too scared to ask,” he said.

There were two doors to the right as they walked down a corridor toward the back of the plane.  “This is a bedroom,” Steve said, opening one of the doors.  It was small and simple inside, just a full bed and barely enough room to move around it.  It was still impressive given it was on a plane.  He didn’t open the next door, but he rapped the back of his knuckles on it as he passed. “That’s Tony’s workshop.”

“He has a workshop?  On his jet?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Sometimes he needs last-minute repairs or additions to the suit.  It’s probably the most practical thing on here.”

They reached a door, and Steve opened it and stepped into the room beyond.  Melody stopped dead with her mouth hanging open.  It was clearly the main bedroom and was more opulent than she could have ever imagined.  The queen-sized bed sat to the right of the door and was decorated in rich golds and reds.  Opposite was a screen for watching television or movies, and to the right was a wardrobe.  “Holy hell,” she said.  “This is nicer than my room.”

“I don’t know about that,” Steve said, going to open the door at the very end.  “Bathroom.”

Melody closed the door behind her before she approached Steve and poked her head into the bathroom.  She stood with her mouth hanging open as she looked into it.  It was black and gold with enough space to move around and even had a shower that would easily fit both of them.  There was an alcove with fluffy robes and towels hanging in it, and an assortment of shampoos, soaps, and lotions on the sink.  “Well, this is definitely nicer than my bathroom.”

Steve laughed and nodded.  “I’ll agree to that.”

She turned and stood up on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around Steve’s neck.  “How much sex do you think that bed has seen?”

Steve laughed and leaned into her, ghosting his lips over hers.  “That is a question I never want the answer to, but I’d say more than I’ve ever had.”

She laughed with him and captured his lips.  He kissed her back, slowly and deeply, his lips parting when her tongue coaxed them open.  His hands ran down her back and settled on her ass.  His fingers tightened and he lifted her, just enough that her feet were off the floor, but her toes grazed the carpet, and he carried her over to the bed.  Melody’s hands went to his cheeks and she held his face in place as she kissed along his jaw. “Is this really happening?”

He chuckled and set her on the bed, guiding her back as she crawled up between her legs.  “You said I could join the mile-high club if I kept telling you what kind of transportation I’d take for you.”

“Oh right, of course,” she said, holding his cheeks and looking into his eyes.  “How could I forget?”

She pulled him down into another deep kiss and they began to strip.  First kicking off their shoes and letting them clatter to the floor, and then breaking their kiss just long enough to pull off their shirts.  As they kissed frantically and passionately they worked down each other’s pants.  Steve’s hands deftly unfastening Melody’s fly, as Melody fumbled with his.  He managed to get hers down first and she kicked them aside and then together they worked his off.

By the time they were both completely naked, she was wet and aching for him.  She wrapped her hand around his cock, pumping it as she slid the head up and down her slit.  “Mmm - fuck, Steve,” she hummed as she tapped the head on her clit.  “I want you so badly.”

“So what are you waiting for, honey?” Steve teased.

She pressed his cock to her entrance, but held him there, not letting him push in at all.  He pulled back and looked down at her.  “What are we waiting for?” he asked.

She bit her bottom lip.  “You to beg.”

Steve rolled you both over, so she was straddling him.  He looked up at her, his blue eyes darkened with lust and he arched his back.  “Please, Melody.  Please.  I need to be inside you so badly.”

She pushed herself up on her knees and held herself over his cock.  “Good boy,” she praised and lowered herself down.

They moaned in unison, Steve raising his hips as Melody leaned forward and braced her hand on his shoulders.  She began to ride him, slowly moving up and down on his cock.  Every time she pushed herself up, she squeezed her walls around his thick shaft, and when she dropped back down again she stopped just before he hit her cervix.

He reached up to touch her and she grabbed his hands and pushed them above his head. “God, Steve,” she moaned.  “You fill me so good.”

“That’s right, honey,” he growled.  “You take me so well.”

“Made for you, Steve,” she moaned.

He twisted his wrists, grabbing hers and pinning her hands behind her back and he leaned up and kissed her as he snapped his hips up into her.  She mewled into his lips, a soft high feeling setting over her.  She rolled her hips as he thrusting up into her and they kissed deeply and passionately.

Pleasure coiled through her like a snake, winding its way around each of her muscles and then tightening at once as her orgasm tore through her.  She cried out loudly as her orgasm tore through her.  Steve groaned, his hips bucking up wildly as her walls squeezed and milked his cock.  His balls tightened and he threw his head back, moaning loudly as he came inside her.

“Fuck, Steve,” she sighed, cradling his jaw and looking down into her eyes.  “That was amazing.  What a way to join the mile-high club.” 

She kissed him deeply and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her as close as he could as they kissed.  Slowly she pulled back, sucking on his bottom lip as she did.

“We should probably take a quick shower and head back out there,” he said.

“Yeah, they did say they were bringing us food,” she said.

He laughed. “Don’t want them bringing it in here when we’re like this,” he chuckled.

She laughed with him, pecking her lips and getting off his lap.  “I think we need to fly economy next time.  I could too easily get used to this,” she said.

He followed after her, squeezing her butt.  “Trying to get all turned on again as I list all the transport I will take for you?” he asked.

She giggled and turned around, grabbing his hands and backing into the bathroom. “Mile-high shower sex club,” she joked. “What do you say?”

Steve leaned down, hovering his lips over hers.  “I say I lead the way,” he said.  He captured her lips, kissing her deeply.  Melody kissed back passionately. It was nice, with all this mess around them, they could find these moments where nothing could touch them.

// NEXT

[irregularcollapse]

before you say cut is my absolute comfort fic i've read it too many times to count

very happy to hear there's gonna be sandra in the sequel bc you write the mota women so so well <3

oh my goodness <3 thanks so much, anon! i really appreciate people coming out of the woodwork to say nice things about this fic! i'm still really pleased with how it turned out, and i feel like it hits the things i was trying to do with it (which is nicely confirmed when people like you say things like this weeeeeeeeee)

WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you for loving my love of women <3 i just truly think that even if i'm writing primarily about men, there's no reason not to pay some respect to the canon women. i'm really excited to write more Sandra (Westie!!!!!!!) because i really enjoyed doing her in the little tennis b-side that i did. some actor Sandra lore is that she has a weird little will they/won't they UST game with Marge, however given that Marge is an agent (not Sandra's agent, but an agent nonetheless) it would very much be a professional conflict of interest for them to do anything about it. not particularly ethical!!

and this is also the reason why Marge and Gale have never gotten together in this universe, because while their relationship is primarily professional, Gale is still very attracted to her and also she's one of his favourite people. it is a thing he struggles with a little, regarding his own sense of self-worth: as he says in this b-side, it's a bit sad that his best friend is his agent.

anywayyyyy yay women! i also have a bit of Helen in an unfinished one shot that i'd really like to return to at some point but can make no promises about:

Kissing girls with lipstick on has always felt a bit extra dirty to Bucky, like he was taking something painted and perfect and poised, and leaving his mark. He liked the smooth slide of a lipstick mouth against his own; he liked the way it’d smear, over his lips and the girl’s, leaving her all messy and making her look wanted; he liked, when she was nice enough to get on her knees for him, the smudges he’d find on his cock when he washed up after.

“That’s your color,” Helen had said to him while the other girls were righting themselves and tidying up their little impromptu party, wiping the bar and figuring out where to toss the now-empty bottle.

“What’s that?” But Bucky had already known, and was wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand; something else gotten from the bottle, not just the liquor.

“The first one we’ll call a freebie,” she’d rolled on like he hadn’t said anything, conversational and conspiratorial, and Bucky would wager she had a few brothers. “But if you want an assortment, enough to share around, it’ll cost you.”

“Yeah? What’s the going rate on blank love notes these days?”

“One of your field Lucky Strike four-packs, and the same number of your pros.”

Bucky had whistled, eyebrow raising and grin straining against his attempts at being aloof. “Quite the hefty price tag. Now what would a nice young lady like you be wantin’ with that many helmets?”

“Loose lips sink ships, Major. If you’ve got them, leave them on the rear right wheel of the kiosk.”

also Tatty!! i have some background/past Tatty/Bucky sitting in yet another unfinished one shot lmfaoooo i just think! they would have had a fun little time together!

you didn't ask for any of this :)) i guess i'm feeling chatty and: WOMEN.

also the first time i tried to reply to this ask i got this error:

which feels a bit on the nose considering the erasure of women in fandom spaces lmfaoooooo

[dangraccoon]

Love me a good dice roll,

6 (Wrecker), 6 (How long have you been standing there) and 4 (One bed). For the reader I’ll go for He/Him pronouns.

Wow okay so that fit pretty well together. What immediately comes to mind is Reader and Wrecker having to share a room while on a mission for Cid (probably set sometime early s2). Wrecker and Reader have been flirting for a little bit and Reader walks in on Wrecker figuring out how to ask him if he wants to share the bed. Wrecker is trying not to come off as too forward and is embarrassed in a very down bad way.

Feel free to use/not use any of the prev paragraph, I’ve loved your work so far so I’d be excited for whatever you come up with.

Sharing is Caring

Wrecker x masc!reader (he/him pronouns, no other description)

Author’s Note: I hope you like this Anon!! It was very fun to write and I love me some soft Wrecker 💛

Warnings: lots of fluff, suggestive flirting, making bets on a relationship

Mando’a Guide: cyar’ika - darling, sweetheart

Wrecker of Clone Force 99 was a clone commando. He was a highly trained weapons and explosives expert. He was bigger and stronger than nearly every foe he’d come across. He’d survived the war, despite numerous close calls. He was a deadly force.

And yet here he was, talking to a wall and pretending it was you.

He’d met you a few months ago, a bright spot in the darkness and confusion of his life that had been turned upside down after the war. You were nice and funny, you got along well with his siblings, and on top of it all you were so good to look at. You seemed to like talking to him; you didn’t tell him he was too loud or treat him like he was stupid. You were almost as physically affectionate as he was - something Tech had noted as ‘impressive’ - taking all of his hugs and bumps in stride and returning them. You were so good for him. So why was he so scared of you in this moment?

It was a fairly simple mission; stake out the cantina, get the intel, get it back to Cid. The lack of planned explosions had disappointed him, but the way you offered to come with them had almost made him forget about all that.

“Not sure that’s a good idea,” Hunter had said. “You’re a civvie. Do you have any training?”

“Training for what? Eavesdropping?” you laughed. “Besides, I’ll fit in as a ‘civvie’ at a bar better than any of you.”

Wrecker’s lips had broken out in a grin. “C’mon, Sarge,” he pleaded, breaking out the tooka eyes that had a decent success rate on his brother.

Hunter exchanged a tired look with Echo who shrugged. “Fine,” he sighed, fixing Wrecker with his patented ‘Over It’ look. “But you’re keeping an eye on him.”

“Yessir!” Wrecker shouted, scooping you up and tossing you in the air. You yelped, but wrapped your arms around his neck as he caught you. 

“Wrecker, you lunatic!” you laughed as he set you back on the ground, gentle as can be. “Stars, you’re gonna give me a heart attack.”

“I can think of a couple other ways to make your heart stop,” he smirked, nudging you hard enough for you to almost lose your balance.

“Oh, I bet you could, Big Guy,” you purred, biting your lip as you placed a hand on Wrecker’s bicep.

“Maker,” Hunter groaned, ushering Omega away. “Not in front of the kid.”

“What’s he talking about, Hunter?” Omega asked. “Is Wrecker gonna jump out and scare him?”

“Somethin’ like that, kid,” Hunter grumbled.

Lost in the flirty banter with each other, neither you nor Wrecker noticed Echo chuckle, bumping Tech with his arm. “Ten credits Wrecker still won’t actually make a move.”

Tech gestured towards you. “Twenty says it’ll be him that makes the move.”

That was yesterday. Today, however, Wrecker was feeling a little queasy. While you were scouting the cantina with Tech and Omega, he, Hunter, and Echo were getting a couple rooms at a nearby motel. 

Once he’d paid for the rooms, he led Wrecker and Echo up to them.

“Only got two?” Echo asked, noting the two access cards in Hunter’s hand.

“All Cid gave us enough for,” he grunted.

“Good thing we all like each other.”

One of the doors slid open to reveal a small room. One double bed, a fresher, and minimal space otherwise. The opening of the other door revealed the same.

“Tech usually sleeps sitting up, when he sleeps,” Echo noted. “He’ll probably want to watch over the ship anyway.”

Hunter nodded. “We’ll take this one, and Wrecker, you don’t mind sharing with… someone else, do you?”

“With… oh, I-I, uh,” he stammered. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

Echo eyed him, fighting a smirk. “You’re closer with him than the rest of us.”

Wrecker swallowed. “I- I guess so, but-”

“Perfect,” Hunter grinned, clapping his brother on the shoulder. 

Wrecker sat on the edge of the bed, anxiously awaiting your arrival. He looked up at the wall - too close in front of him - and practiced.

“Hey, so Hunter said we gotta share this one and I– aw, that’s no good.”

“I know there’s not a lotta room, but I’ll stay over on this side and I won’t try and cuddle you or nothin’– not that I wouldn’t like that, but – ugh.”

He slumped forward, letting his forehead hit the wall a couple times.

“I know it’s weird, but there’s only one bed and… I don’t wanna sleep on the floor so if ya wanna share… kriff.”

He sighed deeply, running a hand down his face.

“You’re really nice to me and you’re funny and pretty and I really, really like you and I don’t want ya to hate me for wantin’ to share with you. I– I wanna be close to ya’, but I don’t want ya to think I’m creepy and I really don’t wanna scare you away.”

“You won’t scare me away,” you said quietly, unable to stop yourself from speaking up. 

Wrecker, though, just about jumped out of his skin, shouting your name in surprise. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough, Big Guy,” you chuckled, walking over to sit next to him. “Wrecker, why would I think you’re creepy?”

You watched his cheeks tint pink. “Well, I, uh… I know we- we talk a lot and it gets a little rowdy sometimes a-and we’re friends and all but I don’t wanna force ya into anything…”

“Is that what we are, Wrecker?” you asked, and he realized just how close you were as your tongue flicked out to wet your lips. “Are we just friends?”

He hesitated. “If… if that’s what you want.”

Suddenly your hand was on his cheek and his face turned redder than a Corrie’s armor. “I like being friends with you, but…” you heard his breath still in his chest. “But I’d like to be something more.”

Wrecker died. He was sure he’d died. Or maybe he’d just fallen asleep and this was all a dream.

You smiled as you watched his brain work through what you said. A moment later his face split into a bigger grin than you’d ever seen from him before as he jumped up, scooping you up into a hug with a joyous laugh.

“Maker, cyare,” he hummed. “You make me so happy.”

“Just as you make me, Wrecker,” you whispered.

You pressed a light kiss to his cheek, chuckling at the way his face heated up. “Now, I believe you said something about cuddling?”

Wrecker grinned wickedly, falling onto the bed with you still in his arms. 

Next door, Hunter chuckled. “You owe Tech twenty credits, Echo.”

Thanks for reading! - River

Roll for Request Masterlist Main Masterlist Taglist Form

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[bp-zb1fics]

hi! it’s me the anon who requested best sellers such as “shy shy shy” and “the perils of dating you” (im gonna just call myself anon 🐰 since i’m in here all the time😭) but i’m back with another req!!

this time it’ll be

-gunwook x male reader

-gunwook having a crush (confession included) on reader

-fluff/humor

-same year/university au!

it’s readers birthday and gunwook has always had a crush on reader. they share a lot of the same classes and same friend group but he never had the chance to talk (or confess) to reader so this year he decides to leave presents on readers desks for his birthday leading up to his big confession!

maybe throw in some challenges for gunwook (like maybe an older brother sung hanbin oop🤭) but you can go about this however you want you always do a great job in your writing!

-🐰

The perils of confessing to you~

pairing: park gunwook x male reader

genre: university au on some crack (same verse as perils of asking and sunbaenim), fluff, humour

tw/tags: planning confession, pining, gunwook’s hyung and gyuvin ftw, pda, flirting, yes gunwook’s hyung is the scarier park brother, hanbin being equally scary, it’s giving overprotective but unhinged, cheesy messages (I also cringe), lots of banter, we’ll never know what the final gift was

wc: 1928

Summary: gunwook plans to confess to you on your birthday. The plan doesn’t exactly go as planned.

a/n hi 🐰anon! Tysm for sending such fun reqs, I really never thought I could write this much comedy bc I’m really not a funny person. This fic took a diff direction from what I had in mind but I hope you like it! And since it’s the same au, gunwook’s hyung and Gyuvin are dating, it is canon~

check my pinned for more fics!

It wasn’t that Gunwook was used to winning.

Sure, he had an impressive track record. Medals from debate competitions and football matches, consistent class president or vice president certificates for every year that he was in school. Sure he was successful. But that wasn’t because he won at everything he did, 100% success rate without trying.

No, it wasn’t that Gunwook was used to winning, it’s that he knew how to win. His strategy was foolproof, carefully tweaked and reworked to fit the goal he was trying to achieve.

And now? The goal was different.

It was, arguably, the most important of Gunwook’s life and he wanted to win desperately.

The goal? Confess to you with a 99.99% success rate of you saying yes.

And like any other goal that he’s had, Gunwook had to make a plan. A winning strategy. And no, it wouldn’t be long or complicated or fussy. Gunwook liked his plans to be as simple as possible. Simple is best, he’d like to think.

So yes, Gunwook’s plan to confess to you consisted of 4 simple steps. Sounds pretty easy, yeah? Well unfortunately, life is not that simple as Gunwook would soon find out. And confessing to you? Well it might get a little more complicated than he thinks.

1.Start Early

This step was fairly easy. He’s got about a month till your birthday. More time would be ideal but it was still a good number of days. He needed to collect intel, your class schedule for one, he did share a few classes with you. Your likes and dislikes, another important list he needed to make, nothing would throw a wrench in his plans like accidentally doing something that would make you angry or annoyed or upset. Huh, maybe he could-

“Gunwook?”

His laptop slams shut. Gunwook sends out a prayer to the universe that he looks normal and not at all scheming about how to confess to you as he lifts his head to meet your curious stare. You fidget a little, nibbling slightly at your bottom lip.

Cute, he thinks. No Gunwook, now is not the time.

“Sorry, is it not a good time?” You hesitate and he’s scrambling to reassure you. In his head, of course. No scrambling will be witnessed by you.

“No, no, it’s all good. I wasn’t working on anything important.” Spectacular acting, great job.

“Oh! Okay, uh well your hyung was looking for you and um, I think he said you weren’t answering your phone? Something about dinner, I think. And yeah, just happened to see you there.” You laugh a little as Gunwook’s unbothered expression took a shade similar to panic.

“Oh! Oh shit- uh, I mean, I’m sorry.” Cool, Gunwook, be cool. Come on. 

“It’s really no problem.” You assure him and wow, your smile is really nice. He wants to stand there in appreciate it for a moment but-

“Um, so would you need to go?” Ah shit.

“Right! Right!” You watch as he hurriedly packs his things, stuffing them into his bag and making to leave. Then, he pauses and turns back to you.

“I’ll see you around?”

You’re not quite sure why it’s phrased like a question but-

“Yeah, see you when I see you.” 

Gunwook doesn’t see the way you watch his retreating back, wishing that maybe you could’ve-

2. Form a Reliable Team

“So let me get this straight. You want me to help you confess to Sung junior?”

“...yes hyung.”

“And you want to do it for his birthday?”

“Well, I was thinking maybe it starts a little earlier than his birthday, one gift every day leading up to it for a week?”

“Mhmm and where will you get the money to buy all these gifts?

“...maybe 3 days before?”

“Okay, sounds reasonable.”

“Soo, can you help with this?”

“Wookie.” Gunwook looks at his hyung whose expression seems to waver between encouragement and exasperation.

“You know I love you and I will always support you especially when your feelings are so sincere. And Hanbin-hyung is one of the nicest people I know. Seriously, he is. But you do know that he gets a little crazy when it comes to his younger brother?”

“More like insane.” Gyuvin chimes in and Gunwook just remembers that his hyung’s boyfriend is there too. “Seriously I’m glad that I ended up-”

“You’re glad you ended up what, huh?” Gunwook and Gyuvin collectively flinch, all too familiar with that tone.

“Nothing aein~”

“Mhmm that’s what I thought.”

“Saranghae~” Ugh, right in front of Gunwook’s dinner? Really?

“I love you more Gyuvinie~” God, Gyuvin’s got heart eyes and he’s leaning and nope-

“Gross, hyung. We’re in public.”

His hyung raised an eyebrow, looking at the empty restaurant they were in, save for another couple tucked in the back corner doing exactly what his hyung and Gyuvin would be if he wasn’t sitting with them.

“Mhmm, public, you say. Wookie, you’re a smart boy, tell me, who’s paying for your dinner?”

“...you hyung.”

“And why are we eating here?”

“Because I like the food here.”

“And why should we let hyung do what he wants?”

“Because hyung loves me very much and he’s allowed to love his boyfriend as much as he wants too.” Gunwook recites dutifully.

“Very nice, Wookie, you’re so smart, that’s exactly what I thought.”

Gunwook shoves more food into his mouth, pointedly avoiding eye contact with either of them. Gyuvin’s eyes have gotten so wide that they look like they’re about to pop out of his head. He also looks either like he’s absolutely terrified or completely in love. Maybe a bit of both.

‘Gyuvinie~”

“...Yes aein?”

“Tell me, who’s the scarier Park here?”

“...You are, aein.”

“That’s what I thought.

Maybe Gunwook should rethink the whole confessing thing. If this was what a relationship looked like, he wasn’t sure if he wanted that. You do, a traitorous voice in the back of his head whispers. 

…Yes he does.

2. Form a Reliable Team 

Have semi-supportive hyungs that make you feel single and motivate you to confess even more

3. Make Thoughtful slogans and posters Gifts

They’ve got one class where the professor likes them seated alphabetically, mostly so she can call on someone and also look them right in the eye while she does. Gunwook hates it. He didn’t come to college to feel like he was in highschool again. The only good thing about it was he knew exactly where you sat and no one would be taking your seat by mistake.

His first gift is your favourite snack. He’s seen you eating enough times to deduce that. But also, you told him one day when he asked about it. Because past him knew that future him was going to need it, definitely so. 

Your face immediately lights up when you see it. Gunwook fist pumps under his desk. He watches inconspicuously as you carefully tuck the snack into your bag and take the note he left with it (type-written because he’s not sure if you’ll recognise his handwriting but also he’s lent you notes before so he doesn’t want to take any chances).

I noticed this was your favorite~ did you know you’re my favourite too? Enjoy! Sincerely, your secret admirer

Your cheeks flush a little and Gunwook resists the very real urge to jump up from his desk and do a little happy dance. Luckily the professor comes in and stops him from doing so.

The next day, he gives you a teddy bear.

Well, more like Ricky does. After much convincing, his hyung had gotten one of his friends from the foreign student society to hand it to you. Gunwook had to make sure it was someone neither of you knew well, you know, to keep it lowkey.

Here’s something to cuddle, hope I get to cuddle with you too~ 

His hyung outright snorted when he read the note.

“God Wookie, Gyuvinie says cheesy things like that all the time but this really makes me want to-”

He stops himself. 

“Well at least I know you really like him.”

“...Did you think I didn’t?”

“Ah no, not really, you always get this really stupid look when he’s around.”

That’s rich coming from someone whose boyfriend looks equally stupid when they’re around. Not that Gunwook would say that out loud. He values his life, thank you very much.

“Also you try to act cool, it’s funny. Ah, ah, don’t look at me like that, I’m your hyung, you can’t fool me Wookie.”

Yeah he really can’t.

The day before your birthday, Gunwook prepared your birth flower for you.

He’s still thinking of a way to pass it to you without giving himself away when Sung Hanbin corners him, a manic look in his eyes.

“It’s you, isn’t it?” Ahh shit.

“It is.” Because honesty is the best policy. The older boy seemed to be taken aback. What? Did he expect Gunwook to deny it?

“You want to date my little brother?”

“Yes, hyung.”

“You think you deserve to date him?”

“I think I deserve a chance to tell him how I feel and whether he accepts my feelings is entirely up to him.”

“...your hyung wasn’t lying when he said you were smart.”

Now they’re just staring at each other. Hanbin looks a little less crazy so Gunwook takes a deep breath and says.

“I just really, really like him, hyung.

Hanbin’s silent for a moment. Then, he smiles. It’s absolutely terrifying.

“Fuck it up once and I’ll make sure they never find you.”

“Yes hyungnim.”

“Right. Good. Now where’s his gift for today? I’ll make sure he gets it.”

4. Prepare a Winning speech Confession

Somehow Gunwook manages to make it out of there alive, all limbs intact. It’s a miracle. But there’s no time to waste.

It’s today.

He’s got it all planned. A note’s been delivered to you saying that your last gift is waiting for you at the famous brick wall building on campus. He’s dressed a little nicer than usual. Your gift is tucked safely in his back pocket.

Everything will go smoothly. You’ll come over. He’ll confess to you. And hopefully, Gunwook really hopes you say yes.

He’s a little nervous. What if you don’t show up? What if he messes up his confession? (Yes, he spent days putting one together, it’s harder than doing a campaign speech, the struggle is real). What if you say n-

“Are you my gift?”

Gunwook looks up. You’re smiling at him, holding onto the note he sent. This is it. This is the moment he’s been preparing for.

“Please don’t feel pressured but I just wanted you to know that I really like you and if you accept my feelings-”

“I like you too.”

Wait what?

Well, there goes his speech. He stares at you, wide-eyed, mouth slightly open.

“I thought you were really cute the day our hyungs introduced us.” You tell him, a little flustered but pleasantly flushed. “And I wanted to get close to you but I’m not really good at that and it really took me a long time to convince Hanbin-hyung to stop hovering and I was really scared that he had scared you off the other day but he didn’t and you asked me to come here and I-”

You take a deep breath and Gunwook’s never been happier than when you say-

“I just really like you, Gunwook-ah.”

In a second, he’s closing the gap between you two, hesitating slightly before taking your hands in his, holding them gently.

“Happy Birthday~”

[johnnys-green-pen]

E! Winter Fic Exchange 2024/25 - Rules and Infos

Post Version: v1.1. Please remember to check OP for any updates!

Alright, so here’s the rules for the E! winter fic exchange 2024/25, running from Nov 7th 2024 to January 15th 2025. If there are any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask - I will also put together an FAQ post assuming we get any Questions to put in it.

Like last year, you will be able to sign up as a pinch hitter (who jumps in to write a fic on short notice if a participant fails to deliver) or writing mentor (to be paired up with participants who can deliver a fic but would like some writerly support) through the regular sign-up form, without participating in the main event yourself.

General Event Details

This is how it’ll go:

You sign up

You are assigned somebody to write a fic for and given a list of their fic preferences. Somebody else is assigned to write a fic for you. You won’t know who’s writing the fic for you until the end of the event.

All fics are posted on AO3 and added into a collection. This collection will hide the works until January 15th. 

On January 15th, all fics are revealed, but the author names will remain hidden for another week, to give everyone an equal shot at getting some exposure (and maybe have some fun guessing writers by style, lol)

On [date tbd, but likely the weekend following the 15th], the fic authors will be revealed. 

Schedule

Signs-Ups run from November 7th to November 15th at 11:59 PM EST.

Sign-Up will run via a google form linked [here].

(You’ll require either a tumblr or Discord account, as well as an AO3 account. Feel free to nudge me for AO3 invite codes should you need one.)

The deadline for posting fics to AO3 will be January 7th, 11:59 PM EST

The fic reveal will happen on January 15th 2025

The author reveal will happen a few days later to give everyone a few days of equal exposure.

Writing

Fics should be between 1000 and 2000 words long - though going under or over is fine, as long as you have a fully fleshed-out story / are SURE you can handle a higher wordcount. 

Beta-readers are highly recommended, but not required.

If you have any questions about your assignment, please don’t contact your giftee directly; instead, ask me and I’ll contact then for you so the whole thing remains secret.

Respect your giftee’s boundaries. If they’re not comfortable with certain things as listed on their assignment, don’t write these things. This is the most important rule by far.

Generally speaking: Following prompts is highly encouraged, but not mandatory. You really should stick to people’s preferred characters and/or pairings as the focus of your fic, though. Your giftee’s “don’t want to read about this” preferences, however, are absolute. This goes for rating, ships, and whatever else they may have listed.

Posting

All fics will have to be posted to AO3, in a specific collection, which I will link here once it’s up.

Posting deadline is January 7th 2024 to give me some time to iron out any wrinkles that may arise

In Case of Problems

If there are any issues with your assignments, contact me - ideally as soon as possible.

If you need to drop out, please tell me about it as quickly as you can - you will not get in trouble, and you do not have to give a reason for it. If you have to drop out, we will bring in a pinch hitter to fulfill your assignment in your stead, so nobody will be left without fic. Just please only drop out if you have to, and tell me as soon as you can so we can bring in a pinch hitter on time.

If the fic you write includes something on your giftee’s “Do Not Want” list, you will be given a chance to correct the issue before the posting deadline. If you refuse to do so (or are unable to), your fic will not be accepted for the fic exchange. A pinch hitter will fill your assignment instead, but you can post the fic you wrote independently of the fic exchange.

If you need writing help, contact me and I will do my best to help or find someone else who can.

Extensions: Extensions may be granted on a case-by-case basis. You will need to show the work you've done, and you will need to have a fic that you can feasibly complete within the next few days. You will also need to be willing and able to work closely with myself or another volunteer to make very sure that your fic gets completed on time. Extension are an absolute emergency measure. Do not rely on extensions - if you're encountering problems, please let me know as early as possible so we can find another solution instead.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Dancing with Visions - Take the Heat - Polka - Chongyun

Author Notes: My first time writing Chongyun! I have to admit that it was rather interesting, especially since I'd never really imagined Chongyun dancing, much less doing the polka. I had fun writing this fic though. The performance this fic was by the Opening Committee Polka at the 2012 Stanford Viennese Ball which can be watched on youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIkuoKyHGjg. Just like the rest of this series, reader is female. I hope you enjoy!

If you would like to read more of this series, the fics can be found here: Dancing with Visions Masterlist.

Type: Female reader/ dance/ fluff/ platonic or romantic/ sfw

Word Count: 1232

The entire matter came down to the cultural exchanges that was occurring between Mondstadt and Liyue, paired with Xingqiu having some fun at Chongyun’s expense. And at this point, that was hardly anything new. What was new was my involvement in the entire matter.

Though, at this rate, it was beginning to look like “The Victims of Xingqiu Alliance” really was going to become a thing.

Chongyun glanced nervously at me, wiping his hands on his pants for what had to be the thousandth time, and I sighed, resting my hand comfortingly on his shoulder, “It’ll be okay. We’ve taken lessons.”

Chongyun nodded before offering me his arm so that we could go on stage along with the rest of the dancers, “Yeah... the polka is just another dance. No biggie.”

I nodded, doing my best to keep a calm expression and not let my nerves show through. Keeping Chongyun calm was more important than my nerves, though. If I got excited or upset, I was just excited or upset, but if he got too excited or upset, he ran the risk of passing out.

“Did you have a popsicle earlier?” I eyed him carefully, checking for any signs of flushing on his pale face. At the very least, he appeared to be fine, which was a blessing in and of itself.

We were on stage now, in a line of people that was parallel to another group of dancers, so I really didn’t know what I’d do if something did go wrong. Someone would probably help if my partner did suddenly pass out, but I really didn’t want it to come to that. Both for my sake and his. Chongyun would be mortified if he passed out in front of all of these people.

He nodded, his expression becoming so determined that it made me smile slightly as he spoke, “Don’t worry, we’ll get through this together, and then we’ll get back at Xingqiu.”

 He squeezed my hand slightly as I wrapped my other arm around him so that my free hand rested on his shoulder while his arm was wrapped around me. And, in perfect sync, we both turned to the side. Ready to start as soon as the music kicked in. 

“I guess the best revenge would be to take the heat and pull this off successfully?” I whispered to him under my breath, and he nodded. A short, determined motion that had me smiling slightly even despite our situation, “Then I guess we don’t have a choice but to dance well.”

He was only able to manage a one-word response of agreement as the music started up, sending us polkaing to the side and through the gap in the line of people next to our line of dancers.

We turned midway across the floor, and he raised his arm, twirling me carefully as our formation broke apart and all the dancers formed a wide circle.

Off to the side, I could see Xingqiu in the audience, already grinning like a fiend as he watched us start off in our rotation.

“Looks like Xingqiu made it after all,” I spoke quietly, using conversation as a distraction from my nerves, and Chongyun nodded, that focused expression still present on his face.

He twirled me easily, but I knew exactly why he was focusing so intently. Just like I was, he was worried about passing out on me mid-way through our dance.

He wrapped his arm back around me, and I gave a little hop, letting him swing me over to the side with ease. But then it only made sense that Chongyun was strong considering the way he swung his claymore around when he was fighting.

We continued our rotation,, and when he lifted me again, I found myself giggling slightly at the weightless sensation as he spun with me. Using the momentum of the polka with practiced ease that no doubt made it look like we really did know what we were doing and weren't fresh graduates of a dance class.

He glanced at me, a smile darting across his face at the sound that bubbled out of me, before he cleared his throat and we separated. Each walking away from each other only to circle back towards the other one.

And it was then that the polka got more difficult, as the ring of people broke apart, with some dancers trotting across the floor to the other side. Changing the order of our dancers so that we no longer formed a massive circle, but instead a large plus across the floor.

All of the couples sashayed to the side, and I found myself focusing more closely on my steps as the couples formed a massive line once more, only to break apart and reform the gigantic circle again.

But then everyone stopped, and each lady was twirled in a way that created a staggered, domino effect, and I found myself smiling at Chongyun once more.

The arrangement of dancers on the floor kept changing after that. Forming two lines again, then a large circle, then two small circles, and then finally back to one large circle.

And despite all odds, as we danced, I found myself enjoying myself, and, even though I was still annoyed with him, a small part of me felt like I should thank Xingqiu. After all, if it weren’t for him, I doubted I would have ever gotten to dance with Chongyun like this.

And just as there was no denying that this particular cultural exchange was a success, there was no denying that I really was having fun.

But it was easy being with Chongyun. Trust was implicit and comfortableness was natural. Almost like I knew him just as well as I knew myself. And maybe I did. 

I had certainly spent enough time hanging out with him, Xingqiu, and Xiangling. Getting pulled into the crazy adventures and, for better or worse, enjoying myself alongside each of them.

As the music came to a stop, I leaned to the side, both of my arms wrapped around Chongyun’s shoulders as he supported me easily. Smiling down at me with only a slight bit of a flush on his pale face.

I smiled widely at him as he pulled me back upright, and applause rang out around us as I stepped away from him, “You did great!”

My cheer was hushed, and he shook his head slightly, wiping his hands once more on his pants as if he hadn’t just led me through an entire dance with seeming ease and perfectly dry hands, “So did you, I couldn’t tell you were nervous at all.”

I laughed slightly as he took my hand once more and we both turned to bow, “So you did know I was nervous.”

He nodded quietly at my murmur as we straightened once more, glancing over my way with a slight smile, “I guess we both took the heat rather well, huh?”

I squeezed his hand, nodding slightly, “And showed Xingqiu that we can handle his little plots after all.”

He nodded, “I guess that���s a win for our alliance then.”

I bobbed my head, staying silent as I agreed with him. It was a win for our alliance and a surprising win for me as well. After all, I’d now gotten to experience dancing the polka with Liyue’s greatest exorcist.

If you would like to read more:

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[lavendelhummel]

Hi! I'm your Bering and Wells Holiday Gift Exchange gifter! I'm a writer and will be crafting a story for you. I am happy to take any requests you have in terms of vibe, setting, rating, hijinks, etc.

I like AUs and happy to work with canon too. I prefer to write them getting together but will try established relationship on request. Finally, I can do happy or angsty endings but I promise I won't leave Myka and Helena without any hope. So don't ask for that :)

Hi! Ahhh okay, yeah I am here!

Sorry if this wasn’t a very prompt reply, my life is being a bit dramatic at the moment (When is it not. But different now. Anyway.). Okay! I am pretty nervous tbh because I am participating for the first time so I don’t really know what to say plus my tendency to ramble… I’ll just say list things I like?

First off: I do like established relationships, but getting together can be really good too! I think what I like about it is that the affection for each other is more on page when they are together for longer. Which leads me to:

I like sweet things, but not too sweet. Like, yes happy ending and yes fluff but realistic? Earned? I think you know what I mean? Humor is nice too!

I think I like them, particularly Myka, overcoming her insecurities. I have been thinking about what if she actually had finished one of the big uni- degrees she started (but abandoned in canon). What if Helena had been there because AU? A younger and not believing in herself Myka Bering doing big things being stressed out and being confronted with /supported by / annoying the hell out of Helena Wells? But that’s just a very self indulgent little thing, don’t feel obligated to make more out of it! I guess at the heart I am a hurt/comfort girlie…

So, yes I like AUs! But canon is cool too! 

I like every-day-life moments. I guess they feel soothing to me in this shaking sailboat that is life. 

I really like Helena being difficult. Just in general as a person. Myka too. But different, because of who they are. I kind of love them a lot.

You will see in my ao3 that his past year I had a thing for mermaids and for cavorite-exploration (why don’t they talk about that more in the show!!) - all these crazy HG Wells inventions and her writing are interesting! If you want to make something out of that, that could be fun. But no need to (my obsession with those two ideas is over the worst) .I also thing it can be funny and endearing for Helena to discover modern things (vaccines! Especially the polio but that’s my weird pet peeve. Not polio but vaccines but Helena would be fascinated by that one in particular imo) but that’s difficult with the timeline. 

Tropewise I’ve always enjoyed the fake relationship/fake married one for some reason. I don’t know what’s up with that. 

I like literature and history but am not that well versed anymore bc of afore mentioned life not sparing a lot of time the past few years - but since this is global exchange with bridging cultures my own expertise would vary anyways probably. 

I like when Myka and Helena are smart together. But maybe not too much, realistic much. 

Okay I took a moment to think of more I like and came back to this but I am having a very stressful few days and (being with family which blocks my creative thinking as well) so rn I can’t really say more and if I don’t send it now I will only do so out of the deadline. I’m sorry, this is not very concrete or helpful. I think I like a lot of things, so there it’ll be hard to find something I *won’t like*, setting as well as rating - wise. But I really gotta run! If this is too diffuse and you have more questions I can answer again, but it might take me a few days, I am so sorry about that! (and sorry if the english isn’t english-ing, I’d like to read this through but time is up!)

Just in general I am so happy to be participating!!! So getting your ask was a really happy moment as well!!

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Spooky season is upon us so I thought I’d try something fun to interact with you lovelies, while also creating some Seventeen content at the same time. This game will work a little differently to most of these events/games writers hold so please bear with me, I promise it’ll be fun!

All information can be found below the cut!

The aim of this game is for you lovely people to come up with visual prompts that I will then create story ideas off of! This game isn’t about writing fics but coming up with ideas.

I am more than happy for other people to use any ideas I come up with during this game as inspiration to write a fic with, just please credit properly.

The prompts can be moodboards, edits, gifs or even a photo you find, but please apply credit where necessary and don’t claim another’s hard work. 

The main focus is the visual aspect but, of course, you can send keywords alongside or a bonus dialogue prompt. For example; you could send me a photo of a cabin with “you’re out of luck” as a prompt and I’d come up with an idea based on that.

Of course, there’s a few rules for this game in regards to what I will and will not write, plus what to send with your prompt. 

Please do not include; ❌Underage main characters ❌Major character death ❌Depictions of non-con ❌Incest ❌A long list of themes you want in the idea ❌Any group/idols other than Seventeen However, these are okay; 👍Background characters who are minors (creepy kids are a-okay) 👍Ghost/ other supernatural creatures for main characters who are “dead” from the start 👍Temporary character death 👍A few keywords/genres you would like included in the idea theme Of course, there may be other things that I am uncomfortable writing even in idea form but I’m open to most things.

When sending a prompt, please include this information; 👻First of all, please tell me that it’s for Idea Generator: Halloween Edition  👻A visual prompt; moodboard, edit, pictures(s), gif etc 👻The pairing/member focus you want. If you don’t mind which Seventeen member the idea is for, please state as much and I’ll just use whoever fits the idea best, or leave it open! 👻Any keywords/ genres you would like me to focus on or entirely avoid. This isn’t necessary if you’re happy with anything 👻If you have a dialogue prompt that matches, you can send that too but this also isn’t necessary if you don’t want to!

I’m open to any genres/rating for this game, so long as it’s somehow related to Halloween! That doesn’t mean it has to be horror, it can be fluff or crack if those are what you like, just make sure to include your preference when you send a prompt! 

I will write; horror, thriller, supernatural, monster, fluff, crack, angst, hybrid/shapeshifter, royal, magic, whatever AU you want really, I love fantasy so don’t be shy to request those genres!

This game is open to NSFW too but if you request that or interact with any NSFW I write, whether for this game or otherwise, please have an age indicator in your bio/an about me post. If I can’t see that you are 18+ while interacting with my NSFW content, I will block you.

If anything doesn’t make sense or you have questions, please feel free to send me an ask!

This game is open throughout October.

I hope you will join in and play with me to celebrate the spooky season together! 🦇👻👽😈🧙‍♀️🧙‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧚‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧜‍♀️🧝‍♂️🎃🏰

Ideas Generated; - Cursed Mingyu

[merinsedai]

More bingo snippets

for the @dreamlingbingo

snippet 1/4

Square/Prompt:E3- Bad Pick Up Lines

Title: Robert Gadling's Diary

Rating: T

Ship(s): Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling

Warnings: n/a

Additional Tags: Bridget Jones' Diary au, general silliness,

It's me again, filling some more prompts with this silly AU of Bridget Jones. But Merin, you cry, will you ever write something where you haven't transposed the characters into a different story? To which I reply.... no? Well, maybe. That can be a 2025 goal. For now, have more au silliness. I have.... 4.... of these I think.

“You know my Robert, don’t you?” she trills. “He used to run around your lawn with no clothes on, remember?”

Fucking hell,  Hob really wishes he’d had the balls to say no to the turkey curry buffet for once. Then he’d have been at home with his head down the toilet, same as all normal people in this Twixmas week instead of being subject to the mortifying ordeal that is his mother’s bizarre attempt at setting him up with an (admittedly handsome) stranger.

Said handsome stranger certainly looks as if he wished that Hob had stayed at home as well, despite the fact they’ve not exchanged a single word. His sharp blue-eyed gaze sweeps over Hob once before settling back on his face, managing to convey an expression of supreme and haughty disdain with just the slight curl of his lip. It is actually quite impressive.

“Not as such, no,” Morpheus says in a surprisingly deep and measured voice. Dammit, nice face. Nice voice. Why couldn’t he have the nice personality too? Holy Trinity, that. Not that Hob is adverse to nasty bastards per se. Especially pretty ones… maybe his mother had chosen well for once?

“Well, I’ll leave you to it!” Hob’s mother says brightly. “Una’s been on the gravy and it’ll need sieving, mark my words! Have fun, darlings!” And she sashays away, taking the plate of gherkins with her. Hob didn’t even get the opportunity to ask if Morpheus wanted one. That would have given him something to say at least. 

There is a long moment of awkward silence, which Morpheus doesn’t seem inclined to break, so Hob does.

“So, are you staying with your parents for Christmas?” he asks.

“Yes.”

Hob waits a moment to see if there will be any elaboration to this statement but there isn’t.

“I’ve just arrived today. Been down in London, partying, y’know. Killer hangover but, “ he waggles the glass in his hand, half-full and still glistening with condensation, “hair of the dog, n’ all!”

“I see.”

“Got any plans for New Year?”

“No.”

Bloody hell, this bloke is hard work. Hob’s not been subject to monosyllables since high school. Still, he’s not one to back away from a challenge. He’s good at making people laugh, at forging a connection through humour. Maybe some silly pick lines will help break the ice and loosen this guy up.

“Is your dad a boxer?” he asks and Morpheus’s eyebrows draw down in confusion at the non sequitur .

“What?”

“‘Cause you’re a knockout.” Hob says with a wink. “Or maybe you’re an artist?”

“I am a lawyer,” Morpheus frowns, showing not one bit of recognition of these ridiculous lines. 

“Oh? ‘Cause you’re doing a really good job of drawing me in!”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Look, my mother’s trying to set us up,” Hob says cheerfully, reaching out and poking Morpheus in the chest in what he hopes is a conspiratorial manner. Luckily he remembers to do this with the hand holding his champagne flute and not the one holding his burning cigarette. Things probably can’t get that much worse, but burning a hole in a suit jacket that looks like it cost more than Hob’s yearly rent would definitely make it so.  “And you’re much better looking than her usual picks, so I thought I’d give it my best shot!”

“And that was your best shot?” Morpheus says, managing to combine flatness and incredulity in one measured tone. “Corny puns about my possible profession?”

“Ah well, I thought so. Shall I try a different one? Hm..” Hob takes a pull on his cigarette, humming thoughtfully. “Ok, how about: ‘do you have WiFi, because I think we have a connection,” he laughs at the faintly repulsed look on Morpheus’s face. “No? What about ‘are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile!”

“And this normally works for you, does it?” Morpheus asks before Hob can go on. “When you are… ‘Picking someone up”? He laces the words with derision and Hob huffs a laugh. Blimey, this guy is uptight. Not the hint of a smile from him. Not even an indulgent eye-roll.

“Yeah, sometimes,” he admits with a shrug. “Makes people laugh at least, starts the conversation going. It’s just a bit of lighthearted cheesiness. And hey, apparently there’s even been research about it. The things people will research nowadays, eh?”

“I see,” Morpheus’s tone is clipped. Unimpressed and dismissive.  “Well. As… illustrative as this conversation has been, I believe it is time to. Eat.” he nods his head in dismissal. “Good evening.”

[izumi-fanclub]

A3! Event Story Translation “Moon Traveler” - Chapter 2

We witness a mental warfare of Tsuzuru trying to get Chikage to open up about his childhood dream

Tsuzuru

Let’s get right to it, then.

Chikage

I missed the feeling of being interviewed like this.

Tsuzuru

We did it when you played Oz, didn’t we? You basically bullied me throughout the whole thing.

Chikage

Haha, I apologize for that.

Tsuzuru

For now, I’ll be asking you. Do you have any requests for the role or script?

Chikage

Nothing in particular, really. Let’s go with whatever you want.

Tsuzuru

Since we’re already here, I want to write a play that Chikage-san will like.

A chance like this won’t come unless you’re a lead actor, and getting requests will broaden the scope of my scripts!

Chikage

Alright, how about… something like “The Ultimate Curry”? It’ll be a tale of a journey in search of a legendary spice.

Tsuzuru

I thought you’d say something like that, but I still didn’t expect it. I mean if you really want that, I can go along with it.

Chikage

I’m kidding.

Tsuzuru

(It’s still a struggle to get anything out of this interview with Chikage-san…)

(I got no choice but to go on the offensive here.)

Actually, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.

Chikage

Hm?

Tsuzuru

Chikage-san, I wanted to ask about your dream——.

Chikage

A dream… I don’t really get dreams. I can’t recall the last time I dreamt.

Tsuzuru

I don’t mean dreams like that. I heard that your childhood dream was to be an astronaut.

Chikage

Ohh, that kind of dream.

But if it’s for the 10th performance; I think something that fits Spring troupe’s image would be better.

The full bloom performance was already set in space too.

Tsuzuru

Whatever the motif, it can be possible to match it with Spring’s image.

I’d like to make it as if Chikage-san really is the main character.

Chikage

I’m glad you think that, but I’m already having the most fun acting in our typical Spring troupe style.

Tsuzuru

(I feel like I’m being misled again…)

(At this rate, we’ll get to nowhere, let’s do this—.)

Chikage-san, why’d you want to be an astronaut?

Chikage

…

Sorry. Acting so vague like this will only set the script back, won’t it?

It’s not that I don’t like astronaut stuff.

I just didn’t have any serious aspirations about it, it was only something I admired when I was very little.

It just feels wrong to force it into a theme.

Tsuzuru

Did you just stop aspiring for it over time? Or did you end up wanting to be something else…?

Chikage

You can say… I just don’t remember much about it.

Tsuzuru

Is that so…

(It almost like we’re talking about someone else. Is it because it was a dream from when he was little…?)

Chikage

Well, I still do like space and the stars. So I guess it’s not just being an astronaut, but astronomy as a whole would be better.

Tsuzuru

An astronomer… it’s true that it’d be easier to insert fairy tale or fantasy elements to it…

Chikage

I can recommend a movie that might interest you. It’s quite an old film, but I think its perspective of the world is something out of a Spring troupe play.

It’s more like a trip around space than just your plain astronaut story, which is fitting of Spring troupe.

Tsuzuru

Thanks… by the way, do you have any emotional attachment to this film? Or was it just a formative experience?

Chikage

Not particularly, no.

… But, I do sympathize with it, though.

Tsuzuru

Eh?

Chikage

Nothing, it’s, I just thought that life on the moon was mysterious and I longed for it.

Tsuzuru

Really?

(Something about it feels a bit nuanced, though.)

Tsuzuru

Chikage

I heard there’s even this Space Expo, would you like me to send you the link?

Ah, please do.

Chikage

Okay, I’ll be off to work now.

Tsuzuru

Thanks for your time. You even gave me a ride back to the dorms.

Chikage

But of course, you’re our important scriptwriter after all. I’m looking forward to the script.

Tsuzuru

I’ll make sure to do my best, then.

Tsuzuru

Phew…

Izumi

Welcome home.

Tsuzuru

Ah, did you just got back from shopping?

Masumi

Yeah.

Izumi

How’d the interview with Chikage-san go?

Masumi

Didn’t work out by the looks of it.

Tsuzuru

Hmm, well, it’s not like I got nothing at all from it. I’ll just get started on writing.

Izumi

That’s already a step in the right direction compared to your last interview.

Tsuzuru

Haha, more like a half-step.

________________

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