#so it was similar to highschool
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It keeps randomly hitting me that I have a "grown up job"
It feels fake
#not just having a full time job#but the job itself feels fake#i get to sit here and sort things and remove staples for 7.5 hours a day? and youre PAYING me for it?????#it feels like being an office aid in highschool#which was honestly the best part of highschool for me#that was a lot more walking#cuz that was mostly delivering passes#BUT one time i had to sort papers to put in teacher mailboxes#and this feels like that#feels fake#and it feels weird. just. leaving. at the end of my shift#like at subway i still had to like. wait for something. usually the next person coming in for their shift#or someone telling me i could leave#so it was similar to highschool#but now i can just go????? i dont have to ask????? i can just leave once ive cleaned up my desk?????#itll be nice once i stop feeling like im doing something wrong by leaving without saying anything to anyone#nobodys gonna be mad at me for it
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tranny freak :)
#Negativity#Transphobia#I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here#I am genuinely so much happier like this#Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever#All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive#I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool#And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades#What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy#What are you going through#Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely#Why are you so afraid of genuine connection#Why are you scared of people#Are you happy with your life right now#Do you like yourself#How much time do you spend doing this#Do you think the negativity might be getting to you#How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it#I'm really sorry#I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything#Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday#There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions#Kinda sad that you're missing out
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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little highschool au comic i did like a year ago i think? but i touched it up a bit even though its very sketchy 👍
#smallidarity#my art#so sorry im very lazy but you get the vision#im gonna make it so that Jimmy had a late growth spurt in Highschool and that this takes place in their freshman year#IDEAS.... IDEAS......#also the piglinmynose x sniffermyfeet is kinda similar to this#love shonen romance manga tropes send post#smallidarity highschool au
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i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand
#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona#its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around#one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them#making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth#i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since#memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an#association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont#fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell#on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one#dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong#despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them#interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing#i struggle find a balance between those two things#actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of#her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard#or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it??#maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard#although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh#yapping#oc talk#oc
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looping echidna beastlife gif from trying to figure out toonboom
#based loosely off the bird who keeps taunting my cats through the window. brown headed cowbird who will sit there#and flap it's wings and yell until the cats show up and then it starts pecking at the window and jumping back and forth in front of them#weird bird.#it's done this for like two years now i think#anyways. sound it makes when it fluffs up is vaguely similar to echidnas birdsong soundboard noise thing. so. yeag#whisp whispers#my art#ALSO. ANIMATION PRECOLLEGE IS SO AWESOME. IM SO. AHRHRHNFMDM GET ME OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL PRLESDRRRE GIVE ME AN ART TEACJER WHO CARES ABOUT ART#it's so awesome here. toonboom access!!!! this is so awesome. guys toonboom is so awesome. not to turn a hobby into a job but like i was#genuinely kind of sad when i didn't get to go to school over the weekend it's so awesome here. who was going to tell me college doesn't suck#miserably all the time. like it's a precollege but still this is so ??? so much better than anything i've done in the past 8 years#<-except for fine crafts one i miss u fine crafts ...... not even a fine arts credit. but it was a nice class#anyways point being. hm. maybe i could animate for a job. i used to think about it but hs art magnet is so bad guys it's so bad .and i#was like hm this sucks actually. also like worst period of my life but that's unrelated . but this is so. nice? and im DOING things and i#feel like i'm learning??? god i hope dual enrollment goes well maybe i will be able to make it through college...#im so. this is so awesome. precollege animation 2-week intensive thing i love you i love you i love you#BTW GUYS DID YOU KNOW ALL AUTODESK PRODUCTS ARE FREE AS LONG AS UR IN ANY SCHOOLING. MAYA. FOR FREE. FOR AS LONG AS ENROLLED IN ANY SCHOOL#AND THEN SOME !!! i don't even like 3d modeling that much but. maya for free??? that's awesome. that's awesome!! anyways#rambling. i think i missed all normal tags. uhhhhhhhhh#beastlife#<-oh no i only missed that one. awesome. guys i love it here this is so. arbrnsnnm i love you figure drawing. i'm having fun!#with charcoal!!!!! i thought i hated charcoal but this is like !!!!! so aweosme ?????? i'm#this is so awesome. this is so awesome. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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BweirdOCtober day 13, aka an excuse to share this dumb meme I made forever ago and some other oc memes from over the years akfhskfhs
Blank meme for whoever wants it
Recent wraith and co. shitposts I drew in class
Old Chorus and co. shitposts I drew in class
#bweirdoctober#artists on tumblr#characters in the meme from top left to bottom right:#SOS: Dianna#MHC: Chorus#SOS: Titan#SOS: William#MHC: Artemis#SOS: Scarlet#SOS: Garden#WR: Wraith#SOS: AJ#literally havent drawn AJ or Garden for like a year and its criminal akfjskfhsjf#ive got a catboy and a demigod dragon in the oc toybox and ive done nothing with them since i was in highschool#also Chorus and Artemis being so similar yet distinctly different in their approach to the bullshit theyve dealt with#meanwhile Wraith is just matter-of-fact “Im fucking doomed”#dnd ocs all being in the “god wants me dead” category perfectly encapsulates being in one of Alex's campaigns akfhskfjs
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Assuming it exists in Spyre I think Kristen is the first one to find out what the bdsm test™️ is and there's a phase where she REGULARLY makes her friends take it at sleepovers I will not explain this at all I'm right
#is this. a common experience ???#I THINK it is#like when I was fifteen I thought that was so exciting and cool and funny#and me and my friends would take it and laugh#or be weirded out#from what I've gauged other ppl did similar stuff at Highschool age#dimension 20#fantasy high#rambling into the void#headcanons#kristen applebees#the bad kids
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The soulmate-ism is strong with these three
#they have so many similarities oh my god#i didnt even realise how many until just now#rina#ricky x gina#hsmtmts#highschool musical the musical the series#petermj#spideychelle#peter x mj#spiderman no way home#spiderman#percabeth#percy x annabeth#percy jackon and the olympians
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Funniest thing about the Bart and Ace rivalry is that they are both absolute nerds. I'm talking genius level, could make it into Mensa, prodigy style nerds.
And yet they keep making fun of each other for it???? Bart called Ace "Mr. Science Guy" like Bart doesn't understand the intricacies of quantum mechanics like it's a six piece foam puzzle for toddlers.
This is nerd on nerd violence
#high-key love how Ace is this prepy hall monitor valedictorian jock#by highschool cliche standards he should be both a) popular and b) not a complete nerd#thatd be incorrect#ace is the trifecta: Prep Nerd and Jock all in one#which is like the perfect foil for Bart#because Bart is the slacker/skater nerd jock who is inexplicably popular#they have the nerd and jock aspect in common and they are so similar to each other but they can't see it over superficial differences#dc#dc comics#the flash#kid flash#impulse#bart allen#ace west
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gonna be honest i saw that dimension20 post rbed by a mutual and thought i was having a stroke . i thought i was stumbling across caveman discourse. ty for the wake up
I think this is about the gorgug post, and you're all good! The way it started definitely did make it feel like discourse, so I don't blame you. A lot of people are justifiably mad at Porter and wanting to fight him. So far, violent vs non violent face off luckily hasn't turned into discourse from what I've seen!
#honeslty i dont fully hate porter#i think brennan is very good at making hatable people enjoyable to see#but i will also admit that porter is a very real type of teacher people get#i had a similar one to him in art in highschool#it sucked#so if people want to fight him i get it#fantasy high#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20#anon#ask
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blehhh my estrogen levels were like twice what we were aiming for so they gotta lower my dose... I do have a family history of cardiac disorders tho so the hard & I drilled into myself with the imperative to "live a long & truthful life" is doing me good...
anyhow. got my tblockers which is epic. do have 2 wonder why my levels were twice what they were expected to be, considering I was, as prescribed, injecting intramuscularly .25ml of 20mg/ml estradiol once weekly alongside my prog & spiro... I'm very diligent with my medications, including my HRT, so I know without a doubt I was following the prescribed dosage regimen...
#plus i still vape nicotine more than I'd like which had ought to decrease efficacy?#Tho i spose hormone levels in blood ≠ efficacy... have certainly grown a cup size if not more in the past 6 months#yknow. ≠ in a similar way to how CI<CO ≠ weight loss. well. maybe i dont mean that cuz thats a vibes based comparison.#feel like shrooms would b nice to grease the wheels of the survival imperatives i designed last year. plus I think I've like. matured a lot#i hope i have at least. i think i have at least.#ive got the Epiphanies on lockdown... the spirit is willing and unable#the flesh is unwilling and unable. what to do what to do but what's in front of me.#byebye gonna go do more coursework and grind this grant out so I can successfully avoid shame and do something good onto another#& concretely improve conditions for this nonprofit I volunteered with in highschool...#sorry. have to remind myself to see at least the trees if not the forest instead of always doubting my footing.#that was another very literal Epiphany about why I watch my feet when I walk...#really used to scrambly hikes and not having the coordination I built up#saw a copperhead the other day on a hike... scary...#Puzzle World
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What's your all-time favorite Bob's Burgers episode? Like this is YOUR episode? (You can list multiple if you want!)
Oooh my all time all time favorite is Carpe Museum! Its the first episode featuring regular sized rudy who's one of my favorite characters now and i love how that friendship with louise started and its such a sweet bob and louise episode as well.
Its also the first time the show explores the dynamic between gene and zeke which of course gave birth to my life long love affair with genezeke, their personalities mesh so well and the silly nicknames/pet names on zekes part??? I live for that.
Its my sisters favorite episode too and bc the belchers are eerily similar to my own family its always been something my family watches and enjoys and loves together so it makes me happy that me and my sister have the same favorite episode and that fact only makes me love the episode even more.
Plus cute boblin and isn't that the first henry haber episode too? Lots of good stuff.
Close seconds include in no particular order of importance:
Gene it on (cheerleader gene lives rent free in my heart i like to think he still does it just off screen)
The runway club (breakfast club episode? The little bits of school staff lore? Especially mr branca? The cotton candy festival which i desperately want an episode about? Iconic)
Poops! I didn't do it again (when i say the belchers are eerily similar to my family this is one episode id point too and i will not elaborate)
Work hard or die trying girl (im a theater kid at heart)
#asks#bobs burgers#listen my dad is a grumpy cook who lobes old movies but doesn't know that much about them and has a dead mom#and a bad relationship with his own dad and the same sense of humor as his youngest daughter#my mom is a loud dramatic italian woman who sings everything and is overly positive sometimes to combat my dads pessimism and anxiety#my older sister has strong morals and has always been a huge book worm wrote a lot of fanfic in her highschool and college years#and has always been much more romantically motivated and 'boy crazy' than me#we don't have a middle brother#but my sister jokes that i have too many interests and too much personality so Loren bouchard was forced to split me into 2 characters#and im very similar to both gene and louise in a litany of ways#blah blah i guess i did elaborate i just think its funny i can't believe he based that show on us fr fr#those are just the sweeping generalizations i could get SPECIFIC with my examples
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and what if i say that one anderperry scene but as enjoltaire
enjolras: you're coming to the meeting this afternoon?
grantaire: hm idk maybe
enjolras: nothing [general lamarque] has to say means shit to you does it [grantaire]?
grantaire:what does that mean?
enjolras: you're in the club! being in the club means being stirred up by things you look about as stirred up as a cess pool
grantaire: what you want me out?
enjolras: no! i want you in! but being in means you gotta do something not just say you're in
grantaire: listen, [apollo] i appreciate this concern but im not like you alright?! you say things and people listen im not like that
enjolras: dont you think you could be?
grantaire: no! i- i dont know but thats not the point the point is that there is nothing you can do about it so you can just butt out i can take care of myself just fine, alright?
enjolras: no.
grantaire: what do you mean- 'no'
enjolras: no :]
#i just think that in some ways neil perry and enjolras are quite similar#and i love them both#so i will smoosh both les mis and dead poets society together#anyway highschool boarding school au les mis anyone?#i just heart them yk#enjoltaire#anderperry#enjolras#grantaire#enjolras x grantaire
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September and October are such perfect months, I'll be sooo distraught when it's November, except that month is also really nice with the 5th and Gonchaversary and everything...
#all of the months have a special appeal#except february#february fucking sucks#not bc of valentines day i actually like valentines day bc it reminds me of doing singing telegrams in highschool#but everything else about it#it is the Flavorless Month#on a similar note#love late spring/early summer bc everything is coming back to life and i get to eat things (hooray for easy foraging)#but my depression is *always* worse may-june and last June I lost a friend so i think it will just suck forever now /lh#maybe i should just discount Feb. and Jun. as lost causes and make sure i appreciate all other months#sort of like how being 18 fucking sucks but 19 through 22 were pretty good but 23 seems to also suck#still have hope I can turn this year around but it seems like it might be a June-like year
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when your circle small but yall crazy 🤣🤣🤣 (man cursed with thinking about this movie and these characters forever)
#they're so silleyyyyy#tomtoms_art#shallow grave#shallow grave fanart#shallow grave juliet#shallow grave juliet fanart#shallow grave david#shallow grave david fanart#shallow grave alex#shallow grave alex fanart#first time watching this movie i went crazy how eccleston looks exactly how i did in highschool.#NOT AS TALL AS HIM SHUT UP#</333#but same fits very similar glasses and haircut#it was weird to see!!! but also. i'm glad for the gender sir eccleston#ewan in this movie? my wife.
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