#so it has to be right around the corner
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...so no help wanted 2 trailer
#i dont wanna jump to conclusions but we're like halfway through november and thats usually when they put out trailers#because like. if the release date they were going for got pushed back they would've announced it by now#so it has to be right around the corner#actually was the end of 2023 release date ever confirmed?? officially?? bc i remember seeing ppl saying some steel wool and youtooz#staff confirming it but like. you think they would've put it on the twitter account if they were fully confident in the release date#i dunno i dunno#watch the trailer get released like tomorrow LMAO#vanny shenanigans#pre help wanted 2
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haunts the punk rocker with gay thoughts
prompt: dream
#spider man: across the spider verse#spider punk#spider noir#hobie brown#noirpunk#noirpunkweek#companion to ken’s piece <3#ough i love love love when theyre pining idiots#when the rebel icon rockstar falls for the vintage noir detective…….#‘psh i dont lie awake thinkin bout im……. i fall asleep and dream bout im’#when he’s flustered and blushy and Uncool around pete >>>>>#hes just so into him and hes dumb about it!!! the untouchable star façade falters!!#oh btw thats a mauser c96 pete has#prolly the closest to his movie model’s gun besides the 14 nambu which was a bad ww2 japanese pistol lol#im very happy with this one too im really proud of how pete turned out#all the poetry is pretty easy to read the title of except#‘poem for my love’ by june jordan in the left corner and A by samuel menashe on the right side#the false idols thing is a tweet from badend_doll i found on probably pinterest#cw gun
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hilarious that with each new day that passes a new bit of dirt from JD Vance's past gets discovered and plastered over the internet...it's almost as if this is why presidential campaigns have always announced their running mates well before the convention...so that if glaring issues with a candidate came to light quickly there would be time to replace them on the ticket before they were officially locked in...it's almost as if certain things in political campaigns were done for a reason, donald...because the very same critical failures had happened before...but no i'm sure you and your guys attempt to recreate a fantasy version of history while ignoring all the reasons that history was a disaster will work this time...because you are built different and the 10000th time trying fascism will work like a charm...
#us politics#politics tw#i view the MAGA movement like this:#the conservatives have been desperately trying to jam a square peg into a round hole for a very long time#and they keep trying because one of these times its GOT to work! a very long time ago they heard the hole was more squarelike#so if they just TRY hard enough it will work!#failing to understand that the hole has become weathered and changed over time and the solution they are trying#will never work (if it ever did)#and then donald trump comes along and looks at the square peg#lobs one of the corners off and proclaims 'this is a triangle! THIS will work! I am so smart!'#and everyone around him is like 'whoa! this guy gets it! he's a genius and understands the problem! he's our savior!'#ignoring the fact that the peg is not a fucking triangle. it's just a deformed square now#so its still not going to work. and even if it WAS a triangle it still wouldn't work because THE HOLE IS ROUND.#it's the same damn peg but it looks a little different so everyone thinks its a genius solution that is DEFINITELY going to work#so they're all excited! they're FINALLY going to prove those idiots trying different types of oval pegs wrong!#they were right all along and it just took donald trump to see it! thank goodness he came along!#but that's just it-- he WAS just COMING ALONG. he was just walking by and saw an opportunity. he never spent time trying to make pegs#all he did was saw a crowd and took a chance to break an already failing peg even further#but because the people were desperate and it was different enough it seemed revolutionary#and now some of the conservatives--who can still see that the 'triangle' peg isnt a triangle are starting to look around#and see that elsewhere there have been some who have forced a triangle into the center of the round hole#and these people think well what if we ACTUALLY tried a real triangle?#and it does not matter to them in the slightest that it will never be the true solution to filling the hole#they just want credit for solving the problem#and so they are going to back donald trump and when the time is right put a real triangle in his hand#while the people trying ovals are busy arguing over the right type of oval#and once the triangle has been jammed into that hole...well...#it is going to be really really hard to force out#anyway thats a long and complicated metaphor and i probably should have just put it in its own post aaaaaahgh#long story short dont be a fascist triangle alright
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The childlike penmanship and utter abundance of hiragana and katakana that has its own implications aside, I was going to talk about how sweet and sad it was that the only kanji Shouma knows is "mother" (母). But then someone told me he also knows the kanji for "help [me]" (助)...that certainly adds to the context of Shouma's memories of his mother mainly being shrouded in fear
#14shyx#kamen rider#kamen rider gavv#kr.gavv: episode 1#gavv spoilers#(thanks to lucy for telling me about the 助 bc i couldn't read shouma's handwriting for that part ^^;#+ haven't gotten around to reading the letter while listening to the voiceover ^-^ <3)#the memories so far consist of: 1) she's warning him to not eat evil gummies#2) screaming as she gets eaten 3) throwing herself over a terrified shouma when they got cornered; and#4) while this isn't an on-screen memory she only taught shouma 母 and 助 because his mum is all he has on a planet filled with pg cannibals#...no wonder he had that panic attack :D *i* would probably have a panic attack#poor boy i hope you can live in a warm safe home and have access to an all-you-can-eat dessert buffet :(#cough right after you snap like a twig once or twice coUGH
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Soon we'll be getting a Coral Sea event where the boys will temporarily transform into merfolk and Cater's gonna be in it to take the most unique and prettiest underwater pictures, as a treat. MARK MY WORDS !!
#manifesting this SO HARD. let's go Cater nation!!!!#I'm (very) delusional btw#BUT!#1. it'll be summer soon 2. we still don't have a Coral Sea event and 3. I can sense a new Cater card is just around the corner sooo#one can dream right? :']#Besides a possible connection to his family has been mentioned in Book 7 CH8#and they could drop some more Cater lore to prepare us for his dream hmm hmmmm#Udi talks
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random omegaverse thought:
There must be people who experience specific instinct things with indifference or boredom.
Procreative cycle coming up? "Crap, I've got plans this weekend...stupid skip weeks."
Caught an intriguing scent while walking? "But I need to get to work! Shut up brain."
Had a snap response to a distressed sound? "Who was it?! ...right, it's my day off, I can go back to sleep."
Somebody growled at them? "Kid, I'm not a rival, that's my sibling."
Super cozy cuddle session happening nearby? "I'm gonna pass tonight guys, no social battery left, maybe next time."
Group of friends heading out to flirt and check out other singles? "I'm coming with you but only to make sure you all get home safe."
Setting where fated mates or soul bonds or permanent marks are a thing? "Meh. I don't really want one or care if I ever get one."
People in the actual omegaverse would get as bored of their stuff, as we do of ours, you know? It could be interesting to see that kind of vibe in fics. Biological demands faced with all the excitement of paying bills or doing laundry or tying your shoes.
Even if that kind of energy might not drive a plot, it could be interesting to have as a contrast to the people who do have big feelings about them - good or bad.
There's the friends who can't wait til they have a pack of their own, and the one friend who isn't against it but couldn't care less. There's the group in the office who are all about scent compatibility tests and figuring out one's best match and what sprays most highlight it, and the coworker who has no intentions on putting that much effort in. There are parents who hover and protect their offspring by scenting them multiple times a day, and others who don't see what the fuss is as long as it's done in the morning.
...also: packs with introverts who show care by giving each other space. So often, closeness is depicted through physical touch and tactile affection, but comfortable silence is meaningful too. Knowing people are near, but not having to interact until you're ready. Sitting in the same room doing different things, knowing that all it takes is a "hey, look at this" to share what you're up to. People understanding and accepting each other's differing or fluctuating needs for how and when to recharge. Seeing somebody reaching out or sharing space, beyond what's their norm, as a signal of the fact that they care.
#omegaverse worldbuilding#a/b/o worldbuilding#a/b/o dynamics#kinda#not gonna tag sfw though it mostly is#heat/rut mention#twovvie chatters#hi its me im introverts#a version of me in omegaverse would love to live in a pack house#as long as i could have a space to myself#people nearby? good! people around all the time? uhhhh#even my family knows that after so many hours of fun family party#i'm gonna disappear to whatever room has the fewest people in it#or find a random corner and start reading#“oh! i didnt know you were here” yes that was the plan#also i just find the idea of someone#who couldnt care less about pairing up#to be funniest in a setting where that's a big deal#“too bad you havent found a mate yet” “no i already know who it is”#“congrats! when do we meet them?” “oh i didnt mean that i'm going to date them. i just know who it is.”#“but i thought you were single?” “yup.” “don't you want a mate?” “nah too annoying.”#cycle day? nice i get a free day off work#cycle day? ugh not this again#the duality of man (a/b/o edition)#granted i hc heats/ruts as heightened libido and greater fertility#because i dislike elements of heats/ruts that (imo) mess with people's ability to freely consent#if the only non-sexual options are pain or solitude and the species needs compaionship as much or more as regular humans#then not being able to or being unwilling to is like a punishment for those people#sure stress or other needs can short circuit it (irl) but theres plenty of reasons to not be interested that arent “you have a problem”#surely i'm not the only person who reacts to various body requests with “later i'm busy” right?
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Look at these stickers my brain is literally so huge. God. I love them so much.
I hadn't tried to do a sticker sheet at home before because I knew it would be difficult, and I was right! Getting the cut lines to line up with the print was super hard and there were many failed attempts, but it was so worth it I'm so happy with them!!!
This sticker sheet is for my patrons this month ^^
#like seriously I wasted like 10 entire sheets#normally when I do stickers I get to arrange them on a 'print and cut' sheet#which basically has these black marks in the corners that the machine can scan so it can cut based off of where those marks were#so it gets to line up muuuch easier#but with this I didnt want to have just like 2 sticker sheets a page... I wanted to have 4 for an 8.5x11 piece of paper?#cause of obvious reasons I feel#cause the print and cut takes an inch all around#I'm not sure it would be replicable either tbh? like if I were to design another sheet I would have to waste a bunch of papers again#cause for some reason the individual cut lines werent like... it wasnt like it was just entirely offset or entirely scaled 1:1#it was like some parts had to scoot up some spots had to scoot over some down whatever#so I think I would have to print cut and test again#but. also I did all that and realized. I could have been testing this on normal pieces of paper... I didnt have to use sticker paper#its fine! just makes me feel less bad about trying to do this again in the future#the sticker paper isnt that expensive this wasnt terrible#anyways. might do more in the future! I only have one other idea right now for a sticker sheet bt I wanna do it eventually#not like I wont ever have other ideas. obviously.#I just generally try to only make stuff that i'd actually wanna have so i'm not trying to make a ton of designs or whatever#this is actually also why i'm often sort of... late? on the patreon designs#not late like i send them out as soon as payments get processed for that month the design was for#but ideally id be making them ahead of time enough that people could sign up or sign off if theyre interested or not...#but I just dont wanna make a design that feels procedural... I CAN but I wanna make things that are creative and worth paying for!#so. I often will spend multiple days mulling over ideas for that months designs. so I'm not very ahead at all haha#anyways. yeah these are for october and then I've also gotta draw a halloween themed drawing for this year in general that will be the prin#i lov halloween#anyways.#patreon#merch#my bf didnt get it the gravestone box. its like a nerds box shaped like a gravestone...#and the nerds are. ghosts... its good. its good okay you agree
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au where everything is the same but its not actually its completely different honestly woah
#doodles#fanart#trigun#milly thompson#nicholas d. wolfwood#millywood#<- ?? i guess????#okay so this isnt actually ship its more like she picks him up off the side of the road one day#and meryl is like ''ew what is that????'' and milly honestly doesnt know but she thinks its neat.#everything else is the same. except its completely different because now pocketwood is always there.#somehow.#behold. my vision.#the wolfy in the bottom right corner is an alternate take where he finds her face down in a ditch and doesnt know what to do#but stuffs her on the bike anyway.#anyways. this is pocketwood au.#she keeps him in her pocket.#pocketmilly ver. has milly enjoying the ride but meryl is a tamagotchi attached to her hip screaming at wolfwood to turn around.#he doesnt have a screwdriver so he cant rip her batteries out.#pocketwood
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#turtwig#AND GENERATION FOUR BEGINS!!!#never thought we'd get there so soon‚ huh? yeah‚ neither did i. it's like it kinda just came out of nowhere. i knew i was queuing up gen 3#legendaries and that usually means the next gen is right around the corner but it's still surprising to me for some reason#seeing the beginning of gen 4. who knows. turtwig is one of those starters i used to not like but i've really come around to in recent years#y'know‚ they're cute! what else is there to say? the only reason i usually don't use them in playthrus of sinnoh games is just bc grotle#or. torterra is the final one. yeah. i'm not a huge fan of it as compared to like. infernape. but then again i think gen 4 just has kinda#weak starters for my taste. not like objectively. there's a liker out there for every starter‚ for sure‚ but they've just always felt…#i dunno. default. to me. maybe it's because gen 4 is the gen i played the most as a kid. next to colosseum i guess#so they really feel like Default Pokémon. when i think of pokémon‚ gen 4 pokémon are usually some of the first ones to come to mind#and y'know! turtwig is good! good pokémon! that's about all. i like it now and i used to not
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毎日 | Kenshi Yonezu
あなただけ側にい���レイディー 焦��るまで組み合ってグルービー 日々共に生き尽くすには また永遠も半ばを過ぎるのに 駆けるだけ駆け出してブリージング 少しだけ祈ろうぜベイビー 転がるほどに願うなら 七色の魔法も使えるのに
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Lady, just stay by my side Combine until we burn, groovy To live through each day together Even halfway through eternity Just keep running and breezing, baby Let's pray a little, baby If we wish enough as we roll We can even use a seven-colored magic
#毎日#every day#米津玄師#kenshi yonezu#lost corner#音楽#gif#my gifs#when i tell you that i've wanted to gif this mv since it's release !#just like the lyrics tho#毎日 毎日 毎日 毎日 僕は僕なりに頑張ってきたのに!!!!#i felt this so much during the job search & feel it even more right now#being so drained after work that there's basically no time or energy for creative pursuits has been unbelievably frustrating#so it's nice to have a song which acknowledges those feelings#and is also like 'you must persist regardless!'#so here we are months later >.<#despite the obvious tension in the lyrics i love how upbeat this song is#the parts where he goes ぢっ! and ハイホー!ハイホー!#🤸🚀🗓️💡#very interesting that this song was largely inspired by the creative process (and all the struggles it entails)#bc i think it goes hand in hand with the themes of post human & the commentary kenshi yonezu made about ai#how ai lacks that most crucial element#that the process is centered around joy more than anything and will continue to be
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Sj2 au where bugs didn't come back for MONTHS
#I'm just thinking of all the baffy angst possiblities tbh#just daffy initially thinking bugs will come back sooner or later and it's only a matter of a few days#And then days pass on and the paranoia seeds are being sown in his mind#as more and more time goes on its dawning on him that there *is* a possibility bugs might never come back#the first time he's having doubts he mentally (or physically) slaps himself in the face#because there's NO possible WAY that bugs can just vanish like that right??!!#the next time he starts feeling bad because he's looking around and bugs. is. not. anywhere.#he hesitantly will go up to the poster stack pinned to that tree (just because he wanted and absolutely no other reason at ALL)#and he'll start pulling off the posters bc OBVIOUSLY he's just messing around and being lOoneY and it's definitely not a silent plea#for bugs to come back#A month and a half passes and he starts PANICKING#Too much time has passed with not much happening and the Burrow's still empty and the furniture's collecting dust#and there are cobwebs in the corners#and it's all too much because bugs loves cleaning but he's not here and his burrow is clearly as affected as daffy is#because daff's pretty sure cobwebs are forming in his heart too#I could write paragraphs about this it's so interesting#I'm so unwella about them#bugs bunny#bugs x daffy#baffy#daffy duck
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Playlist listened to while writing; https://spotify.link/WzxvdTKBCJb
Holy shit dude, the ceo of rei angst wrote some rei angst what the HELL!! We have to kill her guys she cant keep getting away with this.
Anyways im gonna be writing about a lot of these nerds. I just love rei. This is really rushed and I am really sleepy so it is not my best writing.
Also i cannot write teruya so you will habe to ppppUT UP WITH IT.
Warnings for like. Violence and my attempt at writing a breakdown.
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Rei held the rusty pipe like a baseball bat, swinging for a homerun as she smacked off the head of someone she once knew. Someone who had abandoned her long ago.
The rotting head of what used to be her mother rolled on the ground, sickly green skin squishing against the ground and stared up at her with lifeless eyes.
“I didn’t want to see you again like this,” Rei hissed as her chest heaved, “i wanted to see you staring with regret as you saw your daughter on top of the world. I didn’t want to kill you or see you dead.”
That had been the second time she had run into her zombified mother. The first, she had been a coward, unable to kill her and her father– the two people she hated most, the two people who had abandoned her and left her on the streets.
Where had all her rage gone that time. When had she become soft.
-
Midori clung to Ryutaro with all the strength in her frail body. “My brother,” she whispered, “i saw my brother’s corpse down there. Kakeru… he… they got Kakeru… they killed Kakeu…”
He didn’t say much in return, but he did pat her hand briefly– the only comforting action he could manage while carrying her.
“I see a store up ahead. Let’s stop by there for supplies.” Keisuke pointed out to the leader of the bunch.
Setsuka patted the clown on the back and gave him a smile. “Sounds good, lead the way. Maki, do you need me to carry Yamaguchi for a bit?”
Midori wrapped her arms and legs around Ryutaro a bit tighter at the suggestion, very much attached to the guy who had found her and saved her from zombies.
“I’ll be fine until we reach the stop.” The blonde nodded his acknowledgement to the bluenette, forcing a smile as he struggled to catch up.
The group walked in silence for a bit, the only sounds being the orchestra of distant zombie groans.
“Miss Yamaguchi,” Hikaru said after bit, his tone fatherly like usual, “may I check your pulse soon? And may I check if the swelling on your ankles has gone down?”
“Yeah, that… sounds good. Thank you, Uncle.”
-
Kanata removed the bandages from Ayame’s arm gradually.
“There isn’t any sign of infection, Hatano. Kinjo and Maki are still out, so… uhm… can I get you something to eat?” The surgeon spoke softly as she stared at the sprinter.
“I’m not hungry…” Ayame mumbled.
“Inori!” Tomori slammed the door open, her eyes sunken from lack of sleep, “i think i got bit. Check! Check, please!!”
Kanata bit back a sigh of exasperation and forced out her cheerful smile. “Of course. Where do you think you were bit this time?”
“My ankle. They went after my ankle so I couldn’t run! They’re going to eat me. I’m going to die, aren’t I? Oh, god, I’m going to die!” The cheerleader’s words were jumbled together and practically nonsensical. She grabbed onto Kanata’s shoulders as she spoke, her nails digging into the other’s lab coat and pressing her skin uncomfortably.
“Miss Tomori,” Kanata winced, “please let go of me. I will check your ankle, but I am sure you are fine.”
“I’m not fine!” Kizuna wailed before glaring accusatory daggers at Ayame. “If you… if you hadn't gotten yourself bitten! If you had just seen that bitch for what she is! We wouldnt be doomed! You’ve doomed us all!”
Ayame took the words without fighting back. What had been the point in fighting anymore? Kizuna was right. She had doomed them all.
“Miss Tomori, please… Taira had us all fooled… if Miss Hatano is to blame, then so are the rest of us…” the blonde murmured. “Please sit down so I can check your ankle…”
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Mindless. Kinji was mindless. His faith had only been able to spare him for so long.
His teeth were decayed now. His skin was green and purple and yellow. His eyes were dull. His cheeks were sunken.
It was incredible that his mind stayed intact long enough for him to bury as many as he did. The only bodies he didn’t put 6 feet under, the only bodies he couldn’t handle burying, were those of the people he knew.
But what was the point?
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Yuki held his stomach as he choked up and spat out the last meal he had, beans that had barelt even begun to digest.
“Urgh… gross…” he mumbled to himself.
Shinji was away at the moment, scouting out for the next safe place for them to go and likely trying to find his family in the process.
The lucky student fought back envious tears. At least they knew there was a chance that Shinji’s family was alive– they found his mother, Aiko, brutally murdered in the Maeda household. Her corpse was bloated and rotted when they found it.
The sight still haunted his dreams. He couldn’t even keep.meals down since he saw it.
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Mikako peered into her brother’s lab. He hadn’t eaten in quite some time, nor had he slept.
“Yamato…” she whispered hesitantly.
He spun around with a dart ready in his hand. He only lowered it after he registered it was her.
“Mikako, I’ve told you to leave me alone. I need to find a cure, or no one will be safe.” The inventor turned back to his work and threw a crumpled up piece of paper to the side.
“I’m sure someone else is searching for a cure, Yamato. Why not try to make a vaccine? Some sort of immunity would help while someone else finds a cure.” The exorcist suggested.
Her brother didn’t seem to have heard. That, or he was ignoring her.
“Ah… nevermind.” She straightened her back and spun on her heel to hunt down their other classmates.
For the newcomers, Satsuki was putting on a performance– juggling empty bottles and broken gadgets whilst telling jokes. That could not be safe, but Haruhiko seemed to have his eyes on her.
The bunker door heaved open, and Teruya’s team came in, carrying boxes full of food and other supplies.
“We’re back with dinner!” The merchant shouted.
Mikako rushed over to take the box from him.
“Thank you, Otori, this should be good for at least a week. You and your scavenger team did good.”
He grinned at her and handed his box over. “Thanks! We uh…” he hesitated, “We saw Taira and Maeda… err… Utsuro? On our flight back… they looked like they were heading somewhere… dunno where…”
She bit her tongue and nodded thankfully at him. “Thank you for telling me.”
-
Thats it. Im hungry good bye.
Aw yeah infection Au moment! I do remember you saying a while back that you wanted to write something about Rei in this Au and MAN her part has gotta be my favorite out of these little snippets.
I really like taking a look at how a bunch of the cast is doing, seeing the way you wrote them in those situations was pretty fun! It reminded me how much i like the idea of Setsuka's like group with the 6.5 cast and how Kanata probably wishes she has a degree in psychology to properly deal with Ayame and Kizuna (she may feel as if she's not doing enough for them seing as her kindness can only bring her so far when dealing with their turmoil)
#i really like thinking about the voids + hibiki in this au too#i never explained this before because i wanted to draw something for it but oh well#basically at one point the voids (as in Nikei Hajime and Emma since Iroha has been zombified and ran away by now) steal some suplies from#Syobai's apocalypse mob. so he sends Kanade and Hibiki to “take care of them” for him#because Kanade has deal with Syobai where she's essentially works as his executor whenever he needs it#and in exchange he lets her take things rom his stocks when she pleases (she mainly takes weapons. the crazier the better)#and you know. Hibiki i in her puppet stage so she goes along#so the twins go after the voids in their mad max-esc apocalypse car and after a while Kanade manages to corner them#and Hibiki takes this opportunity to stab her in the back :) literally#because turns out Hibiki snapped out of her puppet stage at some point a while back. and seeing Kanades terrifying true nature#she wanted to put an end to her madness but for the time being she kept pretending to be under her control. because she wa looking for the#right opportunity to deal a killing blow without because Kanade is a better fighter than her#this opportunity turned out to be the voids! she explains the whole story to them and offers to do something for them to make up#for the hell Kanade and her put them through (chasing them around for several days and getting into fights)#so Hajime asks for her to hand over all of her supplies. Emma asks for the car. and Nikei asks her if she has any information about#a possible cure for the virus (because he feels somewhat guilty for what happened to Iroha) and Hibiki tells her she knows of a scientist#that's working on one and recives chemicals suplies from Syobai (because he wants this capitalize on this cure whenever it gets done)#So by Nikei's orders Hibiki tricks Mikado into giving her a stash of Kokoro's solution and goes with the voids in a search for Iroha#so that they can give her the prototype cure (which works just as a virus suppressant so far) before she reaches a stage where her mind is#too far gone. so overtime Hibiki essentially becomes a void member and she has friends again for the first time since forever#i like infection au Hibiki a lot. i had a sketch of her and Kanade somewhere i think#super danganronpa another 2#danganronpa another#dra#sdra2#zombie au#infection au#hyena ramblings
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it’s always when I have things to be doing that this happens but it’s like. I don’t know I’ve gone so far into weird love territory and I’ve been here so long that when I go back and really look at canon it’s like it’s new to me. because like do you ever think about how hanzawa masato just sort of DECIDED that tashiro would be the next captain of the ping pong club. like it wasn’t a recommendation or anything that decision was made. and absolutely if tashiro genuinely GENUINELY didn’t want to do it nothing bad would have really happened, someone else could have done it, sure. you know? but at the end of the day tashiro, in the midst of his running away, had that thought, like. not in a thought bubble but in a b Hold on
in the narration box. like it’s not a fleeting in-the-moment thought like the whole poor shmuck thing. I’m not explaining this well. it’s just you get the impression that tashiro thinks about things a lot and also tangentially kind of thinks about his hanzawa senpai a lot and that realization of burden is so significant to tashiro that he takes on the position of captain
and he doesn’t look him in the face when he does it, and I love it. I love when things are indirect and subtle and sort of reluctant because it’s human and speaks to sincerity and tashiro’s grounded…ness that he isn’t unflinchingly happy to do it. he still doesn’t really want to do it. but he will. and he’ll do it WELL. because and this so matters hanzawa masato just sort of DECIDED that tashiro would be the next captain of the ping pong club because he knows tashiro and has been watching tashiro as a fun kouhai who he likes a lot and who makes him laugh like literally no one else in the world, and he knows that he would be a good president because he is, amongst other relevant things, a good person. the right kind of good person! he wouldn’t have forced tashiro to do it because frankly he couldn’t REALLY force tashiro to do it, tashiro has a way of getting around things (pudding head….) but he decided tashiro would be captain, because he knows tashiro, and tashiro decided to take that on, because he sees hanzawa. he decided that tashiro would be captain, and tashiro decided to accept that decision because hanzawa decided correctly.
and tashiro cares, and encourages his senpai to rest, and we get the FUCKING.
that just speaks VOLUMES. hanzawa masato who notoriously stays busy for at least one of two known reasons that sound a little contradictory but aren’t actually is resting right now. hanzawa masato who is so weird and so unknowable to his juniors is wearing a small smile that, unlike so many of his other ones (ominous as they are, usually), shows for only contentment. he’s resting right now. like the tashiro gonzaburou hanzawa masato dynamic IS so weird I’m not delusional for that. but my favorite thing that I think I do a really bad job of showing is that their exchanges go back and forth and are so much fun for the both of them, and it’s exactly like PING PONG. well matched and silly and hanzawa masato knows tashiro gonzaburou and if tashiro gonzaburou doesn’t know hanzawa masato he sure as hell sees him, and wants to know him, just a little at least, and it’s all so much. I’m resting right now. fuck. anyway
#bangs fist on the floor. is on the floor.#hanzawa to tashiro#hanzashiro#and really the fact that tashiro is hiding around the corner to hear the milk tea exchange with miyano. and then brings him some#ASSUMING HE DIDN’T ALREADY KNOW. it’s just like. i wish i was more comfortable writing tashiro he’s so much to me#silly little guy for sure. but intentionally taking on a burden for someone else when it’s explicitly something he doesn’t want to do#(or maybe just something he felt he wasn’t qualified to do. depends. probably both)#and doing well at it. the person hanzawa masato is trusting in the most.#just. someone who doesn’t want to be responsible but will be and someone who old people LOVE and someone who accepts things without judgment#and someone who will hide in a box on the floor to hide from his senpai and just as well walk right up to him and hide his face#and accept the trust masato was putting in him.#like this of all things isn’t really a burden to masato because he’s. he’s RESTING right now. of all the pies he has fingers in#this might actually be his favorite. for a number of reasons that are mostly speculative#but it’s SYMBOLIC of a burden. am i making any sense at all. i might not be#masato is giving this one away because it’s not really a burden to him exactly. but tashiro is taking it because he feels it’s a burden but.#how do i say this. it’s not a burden to masato but it IS a weight on his shoulders whether he realizes it or not#and tashiro takes it from him—not unreluctantly—because he cares. because he wants masato to rest.#i think talking this long is manifesting a tin cap on my head. i should go#dirtbrain digression#tldr it IS weird love. but just not AS weird or the KIND of weird that i’d have it be. haaaah i’m sick
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im getting real sick of 'intelligence'
who decided reading books and writing counted as intelligence? who decided that getting high scores on a strict, unfeeling system meant you were better than everybody? who decided that people should be turned into numbers, tie their worth in society into numbers, to compare people on a scale that ultimately does not matter, so that the people who didn't dump everything to perform for it are berated and the people who did end up with nothing?
who decided not reading or writing was a lack of intelligence? who decided that living differently to them was a sign of lower 'societal worth' than those who conformed?
#r slur#and a big rant#in the following tags#this too is just a tool for oppression#but if you had been crushed in the grips of the education system and left limp in the dirt you knew that already#but it's not only a way for society to weed out the 'retards'. it's more than that#let me tell you something#estonia used to be in tribes around the 1000s-1200s or so#a lot of our old historical records were written by someone else#usually christian invaders and other occupying forces who thought we were barbaric and what have you#because we were pagan (especially with Taarapita) and *we did not have a written language*#according to christian-western ideals this means that our population must be like super dumb#and its 'our job' to enlighten them :)#and they did this with anyone who didn't conform.#intelligence has always been a tool to excuse it#so it feels good#so it feels right#You're 'helping' them. enlightening a primitive race#so that they follow Our standards#it's colonialism all the way down#and it still echoes into the modern day. we still see academia as intelligence while we ignore proficiency in other forms#let's not forget the classism of it either. i live in the CEO of classism#working class people are seen as dumber and are thus treated worse because they didn't dump all of their money/future money into#a societally-approved institution like oxford or something#despite the fact that they rely on working class people to operate#or the fact that their booksmarts don't cover years of knowing how to run a corner store#i suppose the general conclusion i want to convey is that we can all do different things well and using a linear scale is bullshit#(and an oppressive tool lol)#people are good at different things and you have to learn to be ok with that#this applies to anything - trades/ crafts/ booksmarts/ spectrums of neurodivergence/ etc
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#very personal rant time#probably deleting this when i wake up#also to preface#tw self harm and scars#so next monday its gonna be 6 years of me being clean#which is an insane thing to think about#and i’m so happy about this#but at the same time everytime the anniversary comes around i get a lot into my head#and one thing in particular that bothers me (if bother is the right word)#is that my scars are basically all faded and you can’t see them anymore#and in my head my brain goes to oh so why are you celebrating something you can almost not see anymore#which is so dumb and i know it is but it’s how i feel#and in the last couple of days my brain has been a little filled with not so happy thoughts#which is not new#but at the same time i thought that after a while they would just go away for good#but i believe they’ll always just linger in some corner of my mind#which is not something i’m very happy about#so yeah i’m sorry#this was just a little rant#putting my thoughts down is something that makes me understand them better#that’s why i did this#okay goodnight all love ya
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But would you tho (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Schuldig#ZEX#And again the Captain implied from offscreen lol#Two little things ♪ One that Actually happened and one speculation lol#I really like Schuldig :D He's the likeable asshole type and his quirk is very well written :)#I love how he gets on Zelnick's case about his wishy-washy-ness in regards to xenophilia generally and ZEX specifically hehe#Zelnick has no good answer for him! It's so cute hehe <3#But then he turns right around and is wishy-washy himself!! I get the feeling his frustration stems a bit from relating hahaha#Or maybe Zelnick's uncertainty influenced him! It's not such an easy decision to make when you're staring down the barrel is it now :)#Openly attracted to Max's body and flattered by ZEX's personality and outright attraction to him in turn but the alien aspect is too much pf#Sure right okay lol - I have no skin in this game so I'll have to take his word for it haha#Secondarily speculating around ZEX's attraction and standards lol it sounds like an oxymoron but no he is actually a bit picky!#Yes he loves humans generally but he is actually tempered by what mind inhabits what body! It's so interesting to me!#I think it's especially funny how his various desires are in conflict with each other haha#Like it makes sense that he controls himself around Fwiffo - poor thing would have a heart attack - but he genuinely seems less attracted!#Which makes sense to me as well ♪ Spathi and VUX share several traits and were on the same side during the War so he's familiar with them#And he's specifically attracted to differences and novelty - it all lines up!#And then there's also his pride lol he tries to make more friends than enemies of course but he still gets petty and patronizing <3#If he's actually upset with someone /he's/ the one who would need convincing! It's all very interesting :3c#And then there's the matter of his own body vs. Max's body - he's so upset at the metaphysical implications of cloning his consciousness#I've never thought of ZEX in the context of the ''Would you fuck your clone'' questionnaire but I guess I know his answer now haha#Though I still wonder what his reaction would be to Max :0 He's probably not close enough to be ZEX but he is /a/ ZEX - of a sort#All his introspection about the body he's in has my mental ears perked haha - pity and worry for the potential life he's replacing#Discomfort at possibly being Max in some capacity including continuing to be in his body but also of overtaking his life entirely#And of being backed into a corner - Max is pitiful as well as pitiable! Neither of them want to be Max Vyer really#He loves humans but how far does that extend when push comes to shove ♪ It's been interesting watching him fumble through it :)
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