#so it feels a little disingenuous?
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Rejecting Lae'zel: yeah sorry not interested in you tasting my flesh lol- yeah you can go fuck astarion instead i don't care Rejecting Astarion: Say please.... ha, yeah, it's still a no, but that was funny, anyway... Rejecting Shadowheart: *didn't even realize i did it* Rejecting Gale, Wyll, or Karlach: Oh god, oh god, oh no I'm so so so so so so sorry, I, I really hope I didn't like lead you on- please don't look at me with those eyes, please, oh no, I'm so sorry I'm just doing a different romance right now, I still care about you so so so so so so so much, I'm sorry I'm just a terrible person, I'll be flaying myself alive tonight in penance, I'm so sorry-
#baldurs gate 3#bg3#gale dekarios#karlach cliffgate#wyll ravengard#to be clear this is not any hate to the other three this is just genuinely my experience each time#probably just because laezel and astarion start off approaching it as just sex so i don't feel bad just being like no i don't wanna fuck lo#and shadowheart unless you have the wine night with her at the party genuinely just does no come across as trying to romance you imo#i did feel bad the one time i did wine night with her and then did reject her after#i literally have the game paused rn to avoid rejecting karlach for a few more minutes#also this is probably a little disingenuous because i've never rejected gale i always romance him BUT STILL
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I like how Jessica Preddy says Rose is not in love or infatuated with Alan, but itās her third job, her life calling. the unstoppable President of the Alan Wake fan club, genuinely Alanās strongest soldier. (Source: Remedy YouTube)
#alan wake 2#rose marigold#roseā¦ ilyā¦#ALSO I like Preddy talking about Rose mirroring characters from TV#sheās not being disingenuous but itās how she understands humans are#but itās also how she becomes so invested in alan wake and his writing#thatās just How things are and with fiction affecting reality it all becomes blurred#I do feel validated that itās outright said that she isnāt in love with alan. which is already what i got from the games but nice to hear#esp with that page in aw1 about her wanting to be friends with Alan and Alice#itās a fantasy and sheās not trying to replace Alice (even if sheās SO focused on Alan that she tends to ignore others/be insensitive)#i think itās a little easy to assume rose would be in love with alan because I Do think Cynthia was in love with Zane#so itās a nice contrast
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i think it's kind of offensive to try to make holocaust denial about trans people but idk
#when you say holocaust denial people think antisemitic conspiracy theory#so it just seems... hm.... disingenuous to use that specific phrase?#i do think jkr's tweet was kind of unclear#but it was not ''the holocaust is a jewish conspiracy it was all faked they control everything''#contesting the idea that trans people should be centered in holocaust discussions is not the same thing at all#that wording just grosses me out bc it feels intentional. they know what holocaust denial actually is and they know they can piggyback#off of the enduring suffering of people who were the primary targets of the holocaust#and they know no one is gonna bother to even read what jkr's little tweet said in the first place#isn't it obvious they just want to be able to call themselves holocaust victims
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ah how i so enjoy giving them a swirl in my conical flask
#i rlly like that little sketch of percy and annabeth#annabeth my absolutely dripless queen...#im a firm believer that the only pants she owns are those zip off cargo pants#the ones that u can turn into shorts or long pants depending on the weather#thats so annabeth to me#annabeth i love you......#actually speaking of annabeth i have been MEANING to draw some show version pjo trio#however i just end up drawing jason again#aint enough jason in the world sadly#one day ill get around to it#anyway!#pjo#hoo#jason grace#piper mclean#annabeth chase#percy jackson#i aint tagging the others bc they are HARDLY there and that feels disingenuous#art by cricket
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wow so watcher just singlehandedly killed their channel
#i get wanting to ensure your company is profitable but moving everything onto a streaming service aint it chief#we are in a cost of living crisis and you want people to pay for another service?#when most are cancelling the ones they already have?#what are they thinking#āwe wanted to keep the price low enough to make it affordable for everyoneā whos everyone? i cant afford 60-72 dollars a year#and thats in usd#for me thats 93-112 bucks a year and thats not happening#how they didnt just start with a channel membership is beyond me#this was such a short sighted and out of touch idea#and theyve already started archiving their videos which makes the whole thing feel so disingenuous#and moving everything off youtube will mean theyll have no subscriber growth bc how are people supposed to discover them?#the comments on the video are so cordial everyone is saying this stuff by the hundreds#so heres hoping they roll it back#even their reasons for it being they cant do bigger production shows bc of their budget#people dont watch you for the production#i for one was a little put out when they started overproducing their shows it felt like they were trying to hard#its always been about their personalities#i just cant believe they didnt think this through#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#hey there demons itās me ya boy#watcher#buzzfeed unsolved#shane madej#ryan bergara#steven lim#ghoul boys#ghost files
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i need to go pound joey drew into a pulp RIGHT NOW
#diction dump#joey drew#batim#HIS SPEECH AT TBE END OF BATDR MAKES ME JDLABRLELWL#SCREAMINF AT TVE SCREEN#JUST SHUT!! UPP!!!#okay iām normal now. i hate him so much#he praises audrey about being his first creation of life when the ink demon is literally RIGHT THERE.#like. do you want to be good or not?? of course bendy kills you! youāre being an asshole! you suck!!#oh my godd i need to fling him around a room ragdoll style. crush him into smithereens. rrrgrghh#he comes across so disingenuous.. like. i donāt care if audreyās your precious shining moonlight. sheās also The One Who Came Out Right.#meanwhile The One Who Came Out Wrong is SEETHING with hatred for you! do you not see the consequences of your words?!#āi know youāre in thereā like the ink demon isnāt sentient?? like audreyās just stuck someWHERE not with someONE?#and bendyās so so angry. of course he is! his creator (well. a copy of him) is saying TO HIS FACE that heās just a monster. a mistake.#that heās NOTHING. and most infuriatingly that this stupid OTHER who had the privilege of coming out right is EVERYTHING!#why does she get that? why did she get so lucky? where was all this compassion when it was him? why did he never feel this love?#and so he lashes out. obviously. all heās ever been is a monster because all heās ever been TAUGHT is how to be a monster#and who taught him that? who forced him into that? thatās right. the biggest monster around.#so iām sorry if i donāt find your little speech to be heartfelt joey. youāre a long way away from saying anything truly GOOD.#phew. okay. needed to get that off my chest.
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So the one reason to go to Arkansas is to drive through a town named "Flippin," where everything sounds like a euphemism. Flippin Fire Dept. Flippin School. Flippin Police. Etc.
While that does sound charming, I don't know that justifies a trip to Arkansas
#when I was considering moving to georgia#a place I had not been yet#I was at this hole in the wall thai restaurant with a friend#and the tables were soooo close together#and there was a couple next to us#and the one boyfriend was just like hissing that he was NOT going to move to Arkansas#he didn't care HOW good his bf's job offer was#he was NOT GOING#he could get a job ANYWHERE ELSE#and while GA is not quite on the same level as Arkansas I was like gosh that is what i'm feeling right now#it's soooo far south#anyway I did move to GA and it was fine#although that feels disingenuous#I very rarely left the city and in the city I very rarely met anyone who was actually FROM GA#this one time I stopped for gas in what is apparently a small shitty town#and I'm white but apparently I was OBVIOUSLY not from around there#because there were like five old men sitting at the bar of the little gas station restaurant#who stopped talking when I walked in and just... watched me#as I bought a snack for the road and asked where the bathroom was#just silently disapprovingly watching this outsider... utilize a gas station#the girl working the register seemed apologetic#when i went back out to my car I could see all them watching me from the window#so I do think there are parts of GA that straight up suck#and had I been a different race I think my safety would have been in question that day#but Atlanta was fine for the most part#weirdly full of people from Chicago
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Whenever I see someone being transphobic on twt in a bridget thread i reply with three pictures of my mains: ky kiske from ac+r, ky kiske from rev 2, and ky kiske from strive.
it self selects for people who actually play the game. itās canon that heāll fight off transphobes with the blade. and if they actually played guilty gear theyād get the underlining messages
While it can be really funny to bully these guys back, please keep in mind that nothing you can say or do to these people will hurt them or waste as much of their time as what they say will stick with you or waste your time. It might be funny to send them a bunch of Ky pictures, but what they're doing is laughing that the only response the people they hate can give them is sending a bunch of pictures of anime boys.
The only thing that works is blocking them. They've turned being an asshole into a recreational sport and getting any sort of response in return is a victory for them.
#asks#Unfortunately I was an asshole on the internet once (not a vicious transphobe just a basic internet asshole)#I know exactly how these people function because I was there once...#When you don't take the person you're arguing with seriously it's very easy to laugh at every single thing they do#Which is what these guys are doing. It doesn't matter how well thought out the counter argument is. They don't care and they won't care#All you can hope for is that they're young and they grow out of it (I did)#I feel bad for them because I think about what led to me being like that decades ago. Are they going through the same thing?#I was like that because I was in a hopeless situation and hated myself and hated everyone else#People arguing back just proved my point that everything sucked and my hate was justified#It's an awful feedback loop. People being kind to me felt disingenuous. Why should they be kind? I hated them. They had no reason to be nic#I had to get to a point where I was willing to help myself crawl out of that pit before I let anyone else even get near me emotionally#I still remember the day when I realized I was being a fucked up little shit to everyone lol#Early June 2011. It was sunny with no clouds and there was a cool breeze. I was listening to In This Moment and I realized#'What the hell am I doing? Do I want to be like this forever? Get your shit together man'#It was a slow process from there but I did get out of it. Slowly. Very slowly.#There's a lot I did that I regret and can't ever apologize for because it was so long ago and the names and faces are gone now#Apologizing at this point would be selfish and only for my benefit anyway. I can only hope that what I did didn't hurt people permanently#Anyway. I've never talked about this on here before because it's the kinda shit that gets put on callout posts out of context#So. I am laying my naked soul bare and raw for the sake of underlining my original point: Internet trolls don't care
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how is management getting away with charging this much rent at a place with such consistent loud noise at such an hour. what the fuck
#my mom is like 'well would you have taken if if you'd known' well obviously not!!#I'm upset I'm not getting enough sleep and that I was lied to#and shes like 'well they want tenants' I AM AWARE. CAN YOU TRY TO BE A LITTLE SYMPATHETIC#for once in your life...#she's so discouraging and unhelpful#that when she does support me it feels disingenuous#cor.txt
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AU where Wukong didn't kill macaque (i know, hear me out) and it was a long play by LBD to get Macaque on her side or smth. And Macaque fell for it despite being a master of illusions himself...maybe LBD used the shadows against him? š¤still playing around with that
anyway, Macaque eventually realizes this after LBD dies and now he's awkwardly got to apologize to wukong about it, but Wukong wants nothing to do with him because he's deeply hurt that Macaque thought he did that.
then: Macaque awkwardly hanging around Wukong and trying to get back into his good graces only for Wukong to blow up at him and vent his hurt and frustrations and macaque is just...really regretful
they eventually make up or whatever, but i saw someone mention they like the flavor of "macaque hanging around wukong, and wukong wants nothing to do with him" and i was like yeah, that'd be easy to make an AU for because there's nothing too complex going on LMFAO
#if this were to be an actual thing from me it'd be called#dust au#but idk when i was typing this out i thought 'hmm i don't actually like this'#idk why LMFAOOOO#it could work but something about things playing out /this/ way doesn't seem right to me#i think i can only get with the 'macaque is a little annoying shit to wukong' if they both legitimately did bad things to each other.#hmm don't like that either LMFAO#maybe because macaque can be a little annoying shit to wukong even if wukong killed him LMFAO#like!! i don't think the petty fighting and macaque desperately wanting wukong's attention is specifically tied#to events having to play out a specific way#in constellations macaque is constantly a little shit. like he wants to hurt wukong sure but he also wants to annoy him#he wants wukong's attention /no matter what/#no matter the au#so i guess it feels disingenuous to be like 'macaque only acts like this in this specific case!' nah#that's just his character#and if macaque is enough of a little shit. then wukong will start walking away
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fucccccckkkkkk i really need to write that octet video essay that's been percolating in my head for years
#i totally get when tumblr users say a piece of mid media can fucking change your life#like there are parts of octet that are SO FUCKING GOOD.#and there are parts that are okay#and there are parts where i'm like really man#like i'm relistening to some of the songs rn#and this one portraying a conspiracy theorist that includes snippets of qanon drops#it's so good#and such an interesting glimpse into the mind of someone who believes that stuff#in a way that i think was done really well#and solo the song about both incels and being addicted to dating apps#the contrast between the two of them#and the way the girl expresses at the end her fear that if she rejects these guys that might be the final straw#and they might go on to commit mass murder#it's something i've worried about!#and it makes you feel for the incel guy without justifying his world view#and fuck the music is just so so fucking good#but there are some areas that i think are really shallow critiques about virtual signaling#and online activism#and some things that just make me roll my eyes#and there are areas that i think he didn't really go into or didn't really give the full explanation#like with addiction to games like candy crush#there's no discussion of the way these games are intentionally designed to become addictive#same with social media#and i think that would've been great to include and it's a little disingenuous actually to not include it#gives an air of blaming addicts for being addicted without exploring all the factors that might lead to it#and mental illness is discussed a little bit but again pretty shallowly#man i'm basically writing the essay in the tags lmao
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I had to skip therapy this week and Iām handling it really well. Iām definitely not filled with a sadness and rage that threatens to consume me whole.
#and I ate some hushpuppies#donāt worry. Iāve got therapy again in uhhhh January#I feel so stupid and selfish complaining about it but I really kinda needed that little 1 hour outlet to vent to someone I trust#but uhā¦. god it sounds so stupid and trite to say āhey Iāve been thinking a lot about killing myself latelyā but uh āheyā¦ā#and I donāt want to complain about specifics on here because thatās annoying for people#my birthday is Sunday and my mom is still in the hospital not doing well and Iām justā¦ done with everything#Iām ready to be done#but Iām too full of worry about my family after Iām gone.#and I frustratingly always hold on to things long after theyāve gone rotten. my life included.#maybe if I hold on things will improve. probably. but thatās a future issue and Iām here living now#to me. for me. it feels disingenuous to post online about being self destructive.#so I guessā¦ Iām just upset š¤·š»āāļø but when am I not?#it was a long. frustrating. terrible day.#itās whatever#you can ignore this#text
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My only filtering issue (unrelated to wanting tags *excluded*) is when I search *for* a character or pairing tag, but a million fics pop up in which that character is there for 5 seconds or barely does anything in the plot. And the [X]-centric tag isnāt used a whole lot in general, so often Iām combing through fics only to find the character doesnāt do much in the story or are just plot device for other characters. This is more of a problem in fandoms with a huge cast of characters. For cases like that, I wish authors would be a bit more mindful of what character and pairing tags they choose to include because the filter function canāt do anything for that. Obviously I know tags also help readers *exclude* characters or pairings they donāt want to see, but in my opinion, if a character/pairing is barely there, itās worth it to not tag them at all. Unless the character is one of those ā[Name] is their own warningā characters š¤
see this is one where i wish ao3 would actually change how they do things instead of authors coz like. if u got a character that does feature in a fic and therefore should be tagged for accuracy's sake, what you end up with is this -- where someone searching for a character will find so so so many fics where that character is not the focus.
genuinely i think ao3 should introduce like. main characters/side characters as a separate category. i think that would streamline things
#i'm thinking about fortune's favor where like#okay it's a little bit of an ensemble piece but the main focus characters are#essek artagan molly and caleb#so by conventional wisdon i should only tag those four#but what about the deep conversations he has with jester?#what about the chapters with beau or fjord pov?#what about the entire cree subplot?#they're not the main focus they're not what people would be clicking on the fic for#but it feels disingenuous to not tag them#y'know?#asks#anon#this has been a post#lowkey it's been so long i don't even know what i did tag fortune's favor with
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bruh this shit with miranda sings is fucking embarrassing like girl what the fuck are you doing??
#she made an āapology songā where she never apologizes and like#tries to act her little heart out to make people feel sympathy for her like DISBDH ITS SO DISINGENUOUS#also like can we talk about how people now think just saying āiām taking accountabilityā is taking accountability like lmaooo bitch no you#didnāt take accountability for shit?? youāre just woe is me and āi feel like shit :(ā#just saying accountability doesnāt mean youāve done that like SHSJJS ITS GENUINELY SO FUNNY LIKE FJDJD#anyway i never liked that bitch i always thought she was weird and obnoxious but not to THIS level like damn#lyriumsings txt
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I have two Google docs for things I want to write: one for meta and the other is for fic and dumb little art ideas. I also have multiple WIPs as any person should have at any given time.
There are so many nice (adjacent) ideas I want to write but Iām so reactionary to certain fandom takes now that Iāll never do it. I used to be able to swallow certain takes with an āI donāt agree with that but itās cute right now and Iām also on my period so I want to cry over fluff anyway.ā But for my own personal sanity, I donāt want to āendorseā certain fanon things Iāve come toļæ¼ bristle at.
I have seen many others before post about how the deeper they get into their fav media, the more they move away from shrugging and scrolling towards visceral rage. Now, Iām not boiling with rage or whatever but I do know that the emotions Iām feeling means I need to back off for a while which is so disappointing. Thereās so many ideas that I fear while never see the light of day because I canāt get behind āfeel good familyā takes without feeling like Iām declawing characters.
#i need a writing tag therefore this tag will be that#yes this is why Iāve been reblogging less Jason stuff (I feel). I still love him so fully but Iām indulging in my fun fandoms right now so#I can allow myself to be stupid. DC is my work fandom so Iām taking a little vacation#anytime I see a āJason rejoins the Batfamā I add another āJason leaves the Batfamā to my idea lists#Jason with the bats fills me with so much frustration bc heāll never be happy or truly accepted there! but bc of editorial heāll never be#able to leave and the times he is away it always has to be his fault!#I want to write things like a family member comforting him but I see so much declawing of Jason that I just canāt anymore without rolling my#eyes#which itās comics. theyāre not that deep which means I need to back of and calm down but like between batfanon and lack of comprehension#skills in other sectors im justā¦..#never leave your echo chamber folks itās not worth it when it comes to hobbies#āI love underdog characters and characters severely mistreated by the narrative!ā#*gets upset when the characters treated badly by the narrative/is written as disingenuously as possible gets treated badly by the narrative*#*and by general fandom*
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not to keep liveblogging the retreat but itās over now (it has been for most of the day). i cried so much today and it was amazing. im so sad and so happy and so relieved and so tired and so proud
#purrs#retreat tag#i was rly anxious facilitating today and overwhelmed bc we had to pack (i didnāt help at all and felt terrible) and i didnāt finish writing#notes to ppl and i had to facilitate and i was nervous abt the emotions. and then we got there and i said the final words and started crying#and this time EVERYONE was looking at me. but it wasnāt sad tears it was likeā¦. wow. look at this. we made this together. we went through so#much this week and also for three years and we did it and it all mattered so much and weāre here together. and i felt all my past and future#selves and pods and cohorts in that moment and all the ones i didnāt get to see too. and it was soā¦ wow. and then i was bawling when we were#hugging goodbye and someone in my pod hugged me for like a solid 2 minutes it felt like and we were just rocking each other and crying š„¹š„¹š„¹š„¹#it doesnāt even feel real but also it was SO real. i canāt believe itās over. not to keep talking a but crying but i cried for like an hour#when i got picked up and we went back to the hotel omg.. like this was MONTHS of intensive prep and planning plus 2 years of the heaviest LY#lifts to put on diminished versions of this magical thing and we got to do it this time and everything that led up to that mattered and the#ripples will roll out forever. im a little scared bc part of me feels distant from it bc i know so much now and have a lot of experience w i#it but like.. this program changed my whole life. introduced me to so many of the people i love. exploded my world into light. and i got to#be part of doing that for 43 other people. i feeel so lucky and warm#i feel cringy for talking abt it on here liek itās disingenuous / just for performance but i rly mean that its just thisis my public diary š„“#like omg. 5 years ago. and 3 years ago. and last semester. and now itās over???? but also itās just beginning. wild#naur also im a staff coach now and it was kinda sad the distance i felt. like they were scared of me / felt like i was untouchable a little#bit but itās likeā¦ im only a couple years older than you. someone in my pod was a year older than me! so that was sad. but it was good
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