#so it didn't really give me anything to go off of

[wileys-russo]

don't look back II l.williamson

don't look back II l.williamson

your body clock putting in a shift lately you weren't surprised to see it was hours later than you thought you'd be up, leah of course still very much dead asleep beside you, back turned and you could see her shoulders rising and falling a little the only sign of life.

you turned and attached your body to the defenders, slotting your leg in between hers and placing a tender kiss to her bare shoulder blade, the blonde not even stirring as you called her name softly a few times.

when a gentle approach didn't work, leah's eyes still shut and not even a grunt sounding, you sat up and shook her a few times, a tired exhale and some mumbled gibberish in response.

"lee, baby come on, wakey wakey." you cooed, poking at her cheek as the older girl scrunched her nose and grumbled something, pushing your hand away and scooting across the bed right to the very edge, clearly trying to move away from you making you scoff.

"leah how often do we both have the whole day off? it's like midday, we're running out of sun. please get up!" you groaned, shoving your girlfriends limp body as she sighed heavily, once again pushing your hands away.

"cmon don't be a pest babe, just let me sleep for a couple more minutes." the blonde mumbled tiredly, arms snaking around her pillow as she pulled it closer, eyes not even flickering open.

"you can sleep when you're dead leah. come on lets go for breakfast, coffee on me?" you scooted over from your side of the bed and ducked down to kiss her cheek a few times, getting nothing but silence in return.

"leah catherine!" with a huff you grabbed the extra pillow from the floor, sitting up and repeatedly whacking the older girl in an attempt to get her to stir.

you knew she'd been out late with the team last night after a big win, but mid season it was rare she'd drink enough to have this bad of a hangover, though you also couldn't quite remember what time it was she even joined you in bed.

"you're so annoying man. just fuck off and let me sleep if you can't lay here with me!" the defender snapped harshly, finally opening her eyes and snatching the pillow off you, hauling it to the other side of the room and turning onto her stomach with a grun.

"seriously? you're in this much of a mood? what did you do drink the bar dry last night?" you scoffed, crossing your arms and narrowing your eyes down at her, rolling them at the singular middle finger which popped out in response to your question.

"m'not hungover, m'tired."

"leah you haven't even let me sleep in the same bed as you without a pillow wall for the last couple of weeks. i'm gone of a morning when you get up and you're gone of an afternoon when i get home. we both have the day off, and isn't the point of a relationship that you want to actually spend quality time together occasionally?" you accused, glaring down at her where her eyes remained firmly shut.

"need i remind you love the pillow fort is because we made a pact no more sex till the end of the season because it tires me out. and cause you've been on a weird sleep schedule with switching out from working nights. if you get in here with me and even so much as touch my thigh, one of us will crack and then it's no stopping from there, its a few more weeks babe you'll live." leah sighed, arm extending out and smacking around blindly until she found your leg, giving it a little squeeze in what she likely assumed was supportive, but really you were more than a little hurt by her blunt honesty.

"right. so I'm basically only here to fulfill your needs when you're horny, run to and from collecting your shit when you leave it laying around and can't find what you need, cook your meals, do your laundry and clean the place up when you trash it because you can't keep it tidy enough to find anything?" you started in disbelief.

"so basically i'm a glorified maid? yeah perfect enjoy your sleep in leah, maybe i can find someone else to give me a kiss every now and then, wish me good morning and grab a coffee with me like i'm not some chore." you spat, swinging out of bed and making a beeline for the door as your girlfriend hurried to sit up.

"no no hey babe wait you know that's not what i meant-" the girl started with a sigh, running a hand through her hair and pausing for a moment, blinking with a wince as her eyes adjusted making yours roll.

"actually no you know what? i don't need to explain myself you know i love you and just because i want a lie in on my day off doesn't mean i don't. stop being so sensitive!" the defender blew it off, flopping back down and turning her back to you.

even further in disbelief at how little this seemed to bother her and that she'd seem to only hear half of what you were saying your mouth was open and ready to really let her have it, all the two of you seemed to be doing together lately was to argue anyway.

but not bothered for the sharp tongued comeback which leah wouldn't mean but would no doubt hurt your feelings even more you decided to leave it.

pulling on a pair of jeans and a hoodie, grabbing the first shoes in reach you left, making sure to slam the door behind you to really send a message.

the winter chill settling in you looked back at the front door, contemplating going back for a jacket or a vest of some kind but with a sigh you decided against it and ran a hand through your rather disheveled hair.

really the only person first and foremost you wanted to talk to right now was leah, and when you'd first started seeing one another it seemed that all the pair of you did was talk.

for hours and hours you covered every topic big and small, you'd often even fall asleep on the phone together, playful teasing following the next day about whose fault it was you were both so exhausted after staying up much later than needed.

you were a paramedic so you were much more well adjusted to a lack of sleep than leah, in fact you weren't sure if leah actually could survive without eight hours a day, well warned by the blonde herself that she was not a morning person and incredibly grumpy.

though you seemed to be the exception to that, leah waking up purposefully early to meet you after your night shift for breakfast, bringing you flowers and showering you with compliments that had your ears turning red and her face painted with a victorious grin at the sight.

you'd always heard of the 'spark' of a relationship dimming, especially from older married coworkers who complained about a lack of romance and spontaneity, feeding this back to leah who would always reassure you with a soft kiss that only happened to 'boring old people'.

yet here you were drowning in the same reality your girlfriend had always gone above and beyond to assure you would never be so, quelling your fears and anxieties with her undivided attention and unconditional love as much as she could spare it.

sometimes you'd think back toward the first year of dating leah and your chest would hurt, all of the romance and the dates and the late nights and the flowers, and you found yourself wanting to scream for taking it all for granted.

nowadays it seemed you and leah were no longer dating, merely...co-existing perhaps? you couldn't quite pinpoint when the 'spark' had begun to dim but what was once a fully lit bonfire was now barely a smoldering ember and the worst part of it was how blind leah was to that even happening.

so though you craved your girlfriend, there was really only one person you felt like going to talk to now.

~

"so you're hanging out with me on a day off." your best friend commented as she sipped at her coffee seemingly amused.

"meaning?" you raised an eyebrow curiously, the blonde smiling with a small shrug. "i love you, but i am not normally your first call for a friday coffee anymore." alessia chuckled as you flushed pink with embarrassment.

"hey i'm just joking, unclench." the striker teased, kicking you under the table seeing the apology about to be hurled her way and the obvious worry in your eyes that she was actually upset.

"i've had years of coffee's with you, you know i've quite enjoyed the break really." the blonde hummed as you now kicked her and rolled your eyes, a small smile playing on your lips.

"so not that i don't like seeing you, but i'm guessing there's a reason you called? you don't seem yourself." alessia guessed, tone softening and laced with concern as you sighed heavily. "oh its that bad? right come on then." the girl stood, nodding for you to follow her into the living room.

you wasted no time leaving your coffee on the side table and flopping down on the couch you'd slept on a few times now after other arguments with leah, though back then they'd usually blow over by the morning where she'd pick you up with flowers in the front seat and a hundred texts apologising.

but lately your arguments had been different, more personal, more hurtful, you knew one another like the back of your hand and as beautiful a connection that could be, it also meant that leah knew every little insecurity and doubt to pick at in order to hit you where it really mattered.

"okay. let it out!" alessia made herself comfortable in the armchair she'd dragged to sit across from you, legs crossed and somewhat resembling a therapist as you laid down on the couch and exhaled, taking a pause before word vomiting what you'd been holding in for weeks now.

"-and now its like she doesn't even care if i'm there or not, so why am i even there?" you finished, throwing your hands up as the room fell silent and alessia seemed to take a moment to process everything.

"oh my god she's your captain and your team mate and your friend less shit this wasn't appropriate!" you had a sudden realization as you sat up panicked and the blonde hurried to sit down next to you.

"hey hey no, it's fine, breathe." alessia inhaled and exhaled deeply as you copied her, nodding once you'd managed to slow your heart rate a little.

"yes leah is all of those things, but you've been my best friend since you cried at the school gate on the first day of school and my mum made me come over and ask if you were okay." alessia teased as you groaned and covered your face with a pillow.

"less that is not how it happened!" "that is absolutely how it happened."

"but meaning, leah is also my best friends girlfriend, and besides who was it that introduced the two of you anyway?" alessia reminded as you exhaled and she yanked the throw pillow from your grip, tossing it to the floor.

"i love leah yes, but the way she's treating you isn't okay. you're way more than just something warm she comes home to or someone who pairs up her socks and does her laundry." alessia squeezed your knee as you puffed out air in an attempt at a chuckle.

"she really is terrible at keeping her socks in pairs."

"you're also the girl in the stands she looks at every time we do the post game lap, and who makes her smile at her phone like an idiot, who she is always proudly boasting about and why she lies about needing to leave training ten minutes early so she can pick you up food before you get home from work." alessia smiled sadly which you returned, sighing when you realized you couldn't actually remember the last time those things had happened.

"but, i really think you need to tell her all of this though. i love you but you do sometimes think people can read your mind and know how you're feeling without you expressing it in the slightest." alessia poked your forehead as you huffed.

"thats not to excuse how she's been acting, but i think she needs the wake up call of hearing from you how she's been acting is actually making you feel." alessia promised as you nodded, the blonde pulling you in for a hug as you sighed and rested your head on her shoulder.

"i love you less." "i love you too, even if my mum forced me to be your friend." "that is not how it happened!"

~

pulling into the driveway you cut your car off and took a moment to collect your thoughts, having been driving around rehearsing what you wanted to say for awhile now until you'd charged up the courage to go through with it.

letting yourself inside you were surprised to see leah had actually moved from the bed, head turning to look at you from where she was sat on the lounge watching something, draped in a vintage arsenal tracksuit.

"you're back! babe where'd you go? i texted you, no reply." the blonde shook her phone at you, clearly having paid no mind to the argument you'd had this morning or else her first words may have been an apology, but you on the other hand weren't letting it go that easily.

"oh sorry i went to go and learn how not to be so sensitive." you pouted sarcastically as her once happy expression dropped, but you ignored it and walked off to the bathroom.

"christ i look a mess." you mumbled, wincing at the bags under your eyes and looking around for your brush to pull through your semi knotted hair.

"hey love come on don't be like this, i didn't mean what i said." leah rasped, arms encircling your waist from behind and resting her forehead against your back with a hum. "you know how i am in the mornings. how about we go for lunch yeah?" leah suggested as you rummaged through the vanity cupboard.

"fuck off leah." you muttered, pulling her arms off of you and finally grabbing your hairbrush, trying to walk off but her hand grabbed your wrist tugging you back toward her.

"babe i'm really sorry, you know i love you more than anything." the defender husked quietly, grabbing your other hand and interlacing your fingers, bringing your palm to her mouth with a kiss and a soft smile that normally would melt you like butter.

but today, all it did was make you angry.

"of course you do. i do whatever you want, whenever you want it. we fuck when it suits you, i go to your games, go out with your friends, come home from working a twelve hour shift and do your washing so you have a clean uniform for training." you wrenched your hands from hers and poked at her chest with every accusation.

"but when i want to actually spend a night sleeping with my girlfriend and have her touch me in a way thats filled with love and not just lust. thats not okay because you're like some horny teenage cretin who gets a metaphorical boner when i touch your thigh? we're both in our twenties and sleeping with a pillow wall between us, do you know how ridiculous that sounds leah?" you laughed but it was one of desperation and panic, not a drop of humor to be found.

"so i'm here for what? moral support? to look at? to play with when you're bored?" you questioned rhetorically, shaking your head and throwing your brush to the floor, making a beeline for the bedroom as you heard her scoff behind you.

"i am trying to make up for this morning and trying to show you that you're so much more to me and you won't even look me in the eye. if you don't want an apology then what the fuck do you want?" leah called out, tugging at her hair in frustration as you paused.

"what do i want? how about my girlfriend back i'd fucking love that leah, because whoever this is-" you spun around and paused to gesture at her. "-sure as shit isn't my girlfriend, or at least the one i remember falling head over heels in love with." your tone dropped in those last few words, pausing to squeeze your eyes shut and take a breath.

"baby i'm still here. i'm still me. i'm still your girlfriend and last time I checked you were still mine." leah replied with an air of confidence that made your stomach drop, really solidifying for you that she may have been listening to you but she wasn't hearing you.

"really? because last time i checked when you have a girlfriend you go on dates with them, you make time for them and you actually enjoy that time with them." you shook your head and threw your hands up.

"and you hold their hand, and you talk to them about anything and everything because you want to. you kiss them out of love and not obligation, you say good morning and goodnight and when you lay in bed with them you can hold one another without it turning into sex. and when it does turn into sex it's supposed to be filled with intimacy not just a quick fuck with no feelings attached and where you ignore the person afterwards and put up a pathetic pillow wall leah!" you spat, wiping a single angry tear that escaped.

"and if you can't see that lately you haven't been acting like my friend let alone my girlfriend, then maybe I should go stay with my parents and wait for whenever my girlfriend comes back, because I miss her leah." you finished as your voice cracked and your chest heaved with shallow breaths, waiting for her to say something, anything.

but when the silence became suffocating you shook your head and made your way to the front door. throwing it open you gave one last look back and could see the blonde begging you to stay with her eyes.

but you didn't want a look, you wanted words. words you knew she'd say after you were gone, words she thought you wanted to hear and that would get you to return to her but wouldn't contain any actual substance.

words that would come through voicemails and text messages and that would kill you to ignore, but if she wasn't hearing you through words, maybe silence was the only way to get through to her.

"i'll come back for some of my stuff later, goodbye leah." you muttered dejectedly, forcing your eyes away and stepping outside.

you paused to take a breath before wrapping your arms around yourself, giving the comfort and hug you'd been after from the blonde behind you for far too long now.

maybe your girlfriend would come back to you, or maybe she wouldn't.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Snap

Leah Williamson x Reader

Summary: It's all Leah can hear

The snap is what Leah hears and the snap is what Leah hears only.

She can't hear your scream. She can't hear the yelling from the crowd. She can't hear anything as that snap echoes around her brain.

The North London derby was always this kind of scrappy. Everyone expected it. Everyone looked forward to it.

More yellow cards flew for both teams than probably any other fixture.

Tackles always held a little bit more passion, a little bit more aggression than usual.

But not like this.

Never like this.

No one ever wanted it to be like this.

Leah can do nothing but stare. It feels like minutes, time slowing down around her as she watches. It can't have been more than seconds.

It's not her that makes the tackle. It's some new academy girl that's been called up to replace an injured teammate.

Leah can't quite recall her name but she goes in for the tackle, studs up.

Studs up and not even aiming for the ball.

And not even for your ankle either.

She goes in for your leg and your crumble under the force of it.

Leah doesn't know if the rest of the stadium heard the snap but she certainly did.

She heard the snap.

It was all she could hear.

Chaos erupts from everyone - teams, staff, supporters - but Leah can't hear any of it.

You're on the ground, face split open in a scream that she can't hear, tears dripping down your face as you clutch as your bloodied leg.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's going to be okay. Stop moving. Stop moving."

Leah can't remember when she moved. She can't remember shoving past your Spurs teammates and getting on her knees to hold your head still.

"Baby, I know it hurts. I know but you just have to stay still. It could be worse than we think. Alright, stay still for me."

You suck in a breath. "L-Leah," You croak out, voice cracked and quiet," It hurts."

"I know," Leah says, feeling panicked as she glances over to the side lines, watching as the medics run on," I know, baby. I know. It'll all be better soon. Just hang on."

Everything still feels like slow motion to Leah, panic clawing at her consciousness.

You try to move your head again, to look at your leg but Leah's hands are clamped tightly around you.

"You-You don't want to see it," She says," Trust me, baby."

"I...Leah, it hurts. It hurts so bad."

"I know," It's all Leah can say, all she can do to keep you calm," I know, baby. But it'll be over soon. The medics are just coming."

She's right, of course and in any other circumstance, she would brag endlessly about it, about being right.

But not now.

Not with you injured and your leg very clearly broken and bloody.

One of the medics gives you a green whistle that you suck on generously before you're loaded up on the stretcher.

That academy player gets a red card and Leah doesn't even care that they're down to ten on the pitch and the open gap next to her is what leads to Spurs equalising and the derby ending in a draw.

"What was up with you and l/n?" Katie asks in the locker room," I didn't know you two were friends."

Leah changes quickly, not even bothering to shower when it means spending more time away from your bedside.

"We're not friends," She replies, throwing her boots into her bag and unplugging her phone charger.

"Really?" Katie says in disbelief," You guys looked so close when she got injured. You wouldn't leave her side."

"She's not my friend," Leah says bluntly," Because she's my girlfriend who is now in hospital after a stupid, reckless-"

"Leah," Kim cuts in, glancing over to the showers where the academy girl has been inside since her red card nearly half an hour ago ," Go and see her. I'm sure she's waiting for you."

Leah cuts off her oncoming rant, zipping up her bag angrily before storming out.

Her hands clench her steering wheel tightly as she drives, only stopping off once to grab some snacks and some flowers.

"Hey," You say as she walks into your hospital room," Oh, Leah, they're beautiful."

You take the flowers from her as she dips down to give you a kiss.

"I was worried about you," Leah says, glancing down at your leg," How bad?"

"A clean break," You reply," So just a cast and no surgery. The blood made it look worse than it is. I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?" Leah asks," You can tell me. You don't have to try and save my feelings."

"I promise," You say," It's all okay. Nothing too bad."

"Definitely?" Leah checks," You're not trying to stop me stressing?"

"Definitely," You agree with a little laugh," Nothing too bad. Nothing to stress about."

Leah blows out air noisily, finally relaxing in the stupid plastic chair by your bedside.

"Now," You say," Did Spurs equalise?"

Leah groans.

[stargatesg-1obsessed]

As someone who has only started writing this year, I feel this. I feel the pressure of feeling like I have to write just as good as some of my really good writer mutals or like the books i read, but in reality, they've been doing it for years, and I've just started. I don't need to be as good as them because I'm just going to end up critising myself for being a beginner writer and not having all the talent straight away, and that's just stupid.

All the feedback I've gotten on my fanfics has been wonderful. They're all really lovely people, and they're supportive even if the writing sucks because that's just what you do. It someone's writing is bad, don't point it out. If it bothers you that much, don't read it! I personally would much rather have one less hit on a fic than have someone be hateful in the comments. There is just no need for it. If you want to give them some tips, go for it. But don't be rude about it, especially when that person isn't a writer but is still judging them.

The whole point of fanfic is to have your own creative freedom, with the characters you love. And if your writing isn't as good as someone else's, or it doesn't sound as good as a book you've read, it doesn't matter!! All writers have off days, even the really talented ones with really popular books/fics. No one should critise you for your writing. They don't have the right. The only time it is semi acceptable is when you ask someone to beta a fic for you. And even then, it's not for critising. It's for helping out with any mistakes, typos, ooc dialogue, etc etc. You're not there to judge them, you're there to help them.

So please, if you see a fic with writing, that could be better, either support them, or just don't say anything. Because I know that writers need criticism sometimes, but what we really need is support. And if there is something you want to point out, say something simple like; "Loved this fic! Really loved how the characters interacted!! :D Although I think I saw a little typo towards the end when it says "the entire planet," I think you meant to put "the entire plane,". But it's not that big a deal, and we all make mistakes :))".

That's based on a comment I got from someone on AO3 who helped me out majorly with a typo. It changed the entire sentence and didn't make any sense otherwise. And they really saved me there.

But if you're going to say something rude like; "at the end, when you put "the entire plane," instead of what I think you meant to put which is "the entire planet," it really messed up the fic and it makes no sense." Then just don't point it out because I'm sure someone else with kinder words will.

Fanfic writers don't need to be as good as professional authors!!! Just have fun and create what you want, and what makes you happy. Don't be scared to post something because it's practise. We all do it, and we'll all improve if we have practising. Don't let someone else's harsh words stop you for doing what brings you joy.

At some point "fanfic can be as good as professional writing" became "fanfic should be as good as professional writing" and that's caused major damage to fandom spaces.

[stxrslut]

DIDN'T GIVE UP 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

pairing; rafe cameron x sweetie!reader

summary; after getting out of rehab, rafe is desperate to be intimate with you, so it feels like his whole world falls apart when he’s unable to arouse himself. but with plenty of commitment and a promise not to give up, he finally manages to succeed, even if it’s not in the way that you’d both wished for

content; talk of addiction and rehab, brief mention of overdose, erectile dysfunction, masturbation, brief handjob

author's note; inspired by a few conversations had over on @starfxkrinc about post rehab rafe. I'm super happy with how this one turned out, I really love exploring these sides of rafe

you hold rafe’s hand as you both walk inside. tonight has been so special, your first date since rafe got out of rehab. it had been intimate and quiet and comfortable. a lovely meal at the local gourmet restaurant filled with gentle loving touches had left you both wanting more, a more that neither of you had had for a while.

even before rehab, rafe had just stopped having sex with you. you’d thought you might get somewhere but then the od happened and he’d needed to go to rehab which meant you didn’t even see him for months. 

you’re both so touch starved, no words need to be spoken before you’re both making your way up to the bedroom, kissing and fumbling with each other’s clothes, quickly and desperately.

“god— missed you so much,” he murmurs, hands on your hips as he backs through the bedroom door, turning and kicking it shut like he always used to when you first started sneaking around together.

you moan softly “me too. missed you rafe.” one of your hands wraps around his neck and the other comes down to palm at him through his pants, his bulge is noticeable but he’s not hard yet. you undo his zipper and touch him through his boxers.

you both move back towards the bed and you pull his dick out, taking it in your hand and starting to jerk him off, but you both notice something. that something being nothing, nothing is happening. his dick isn’t doing anything. 

rafe frowns and you do the same, both of you look down as your hand keeps moving for no reaction. after about thirty seconds rafe steps away, “shit I– I didn’t know that would happen.” he rubs the back of his neck, “shit… shit.” 

you step forward and place a hand on his arm, “oh rafe… hey I’m sure its normal.. you did just get outta rehab,” you try to pull him to look at you but he doesn’t, he stares straight at the floor and shrugs you off.

“no… I.. this happens when I’m high not– I’ve been sober for two months.” he exaggerates, you can hear his voice beginning to break. you had considered that this might be an obstacle but you weren’t expecting him to react like this, surely all it’s going to take is a bit of trial and error until he can get it up with as much ease as he used to.

though you suppose this must be hard for him. finally getting some normality back and he can’t even properly enjoy it. and you know how much he hates to feel emasculated. maybe it is a big deal for him. even though it’s not guaranteed to happen yet, the imminent possibility must have shocked him into a panic. 

that’s fine, you’ve dealt with rafe under much more serious circumstances.

you step forward, more confident now that you have an idea of what the problem is and how you can solve it. “rafe, sweetie don’t panic,” you speak gently, “we’re gonna sort this out okay?” 

rafe looks down at you, “sorry– sorry I’m.. just wasn’t expectin’ it..” he scratches the back of his neck, looking down at his uncovered self. you nod, understanding his distress.

“that’s okay, it was a surprise huh?” you stroke his arm gently, “you wanna try again?” you ask gently and he nods shakily, taking a calming breath before letting you guide him to the bed. he sits down first and then you climb on after him, straddling his lap and quickly managing to retain the mood you were in before.

you grind down a little and his hands come to your hips to help your movements like he normally would but he’s quickly letting out an agitated noise and pushing you off. “it’s not working,” he groans in frustration. 

you pull yourself up to sit next to him. your hand comes to his chest, “oh baby,” you coo as you notice the tears welling in his eyes that he’s so obviously trying to hold back. in his mind not being able to get aroused is bad enough, crying would just make him pathetic. 

“what do you wanna do huh?” you pry, stroking his chest now and coming up to kiss his shoulder. “I’m sure that there are things we can try… it’s only been a couple of minutes.” you try to reassure him but you’re pretty sure he’s going to be inconsolable until he can feel confident in himself again. in his mind, a couple of minutes should mean you’re already halfway through round two.

“I– I don’t understand,” he sniffles pitifully, not daring to make eye contact with you as he instead stares down at his completely motionless dick. “this wasn’t supposed to happen anymore.. I- I got sober.” 

you kiss him again, “you did baby, you got sober,” you smile sympathetically, “and this is normal, its normal to have erectile dysfunction after stuff like this.” though that reassurance sets him off more.

“don’t�� don’t call it that,” he snaps ever so slightly, shoulders tensing and momentarily shrugging your hand away, “I don’t– I can’t have a dysfunction, okay it’s– it’s gotta work.” his voice breaks just a little.

you nod, “okay… okay then we’ll make it work, okay?” you move your body so that you can look him in the eyes, you bring your hand up to cup his face. “you just tell me what you need, okay? we can do whatever you want, whatevers gonna help you.” 

he thinks for a moment, you can see the cogs in his brain turning behind his eyes as he tries to find something that he thinks may help him. his lips are parted and his cheeks are slightly pink. he eventually seems to come to a conclusion, he hesitates for a moment before speaking tentatively, “can uh.. can I try doin’ it myself?”

you nod, “yeah, course baby.” you smile, proud of him for being able to articulate his need, “where do you want me? should I give you some privacy or–” 

rafe shakes his head, “can you stay,” he asks, “please… just.. I really need you to be here.” he tries to avert his eyes, he’s embarrassed, you can tell, he reeks of humiliation and you wish that you could just take it away from him. after all that he’s been through in the past few months you feel this is the last thing he deserves. 

“I’ll stay here,” you affirm, “I’ll stay here as long as you need okay? you just do whatever you need to do.” you move with him as his hand comes to grasp yours whilst the other supports him while he shakily manoeuvres himself to half sit half lay against the headboard. 

you stay on the edge of the bed, keeping a hold of his hand as that is evidently what he wants you to do. his chest rises and falls slowly as he pushes his pants further down and then gently grasps his soft dick. 

he begins to move tentatively, doing his best to throw his head back and not think about it. you stay quiet, just letting him figure it out for himself. 

he manages to get it up, a little, you notice a look of clear relief on his face as he relishes in the sensation he’d worried that he wouldn’t get back. his movement quickens and then his face falls as he loses it.

you stroke his thumb with your own, “it’s okay baby, just take your time.” you murmur softly as his face scrunches up in annoyance. but he perseveres, hand going back down to try once again.

he tries, he really tries. he tries so many times, over and over again, and to both of your increasing dismay he keeps losing it over and over again too. 

poor rafe, tears slip down his cheeks and he groans from sadness and surely a little pain at the fact that he’s basically rubbed himself raw down there. his tip is pink and angry, you have half a mind to tell him to stop but you fear he may hurt himself more if he can’t manage or stop on his own terms. 

he huffs sadly. he knows he needs to stop too, “just– just one more try.” he says, “one more.” he nods decisively before looking up to you, almost as if to ask for your blessing to just try one more time. 

of course you nod, “yeah, one more time. you’ve got this rafe,” you tell him, squeezing his hand reassuringly with a loving smile, hoping to encourage him to finally get it. 

rafe starts again, slowly at first and then he builds up his movements, it takes a long few minutes but he manages to get himself hard, fully hard. he grunts and groans and you have to stop yourself from slipping a hand under your own underwear so as not to distract him from his moment. 

after another long few minutes he practically cries out, then whimpers and then tears of relief fall down his cheeks as he finally cums. it’s not a lot, and it doesn’t last long, but it does him good. the feeling simply overwhelms him and he finally feels reassured that he can be normal again.

once he’s ridden it out you wipe the tears from his cheek with your free hand, “hey.” you smile down at him, “well done, you did so good.” you speak gently, “I’m so proud of you, you didn’t give up.” 

rafe smiles, his previous humiliation replaced with pure bliss and relief, “yeah,” he nods, sighing breaths of relief, “didn’t give up.” maybe this evening didn’t go exactly as expected, but you think, with the circumstances, it turned out okay.

[cherbii]

FRIENDS | modern!dealer! Ryomen Sukuna

summary ➜ your plug has been a lot nicer to you, and by a lot, he has you bent over sideways in his car, but you swear you two are strictly friends.

warnings ➜ language, weed use, smut! p in v, unprotected sex, high sex, car sex, choking, titty slapping (sue me), gagging, riding, spanking. mdni

You had bought weed from Sukuna a few times, and each he’d charge you less and less until you didn't have to pay anymore, something Sukuna never does.

You'd taken this as a sign that your presence was somewhat welcomed around his, so at a frat house dorm party, you see him in the corner, a bored look in his eye and a blunt dangling from his lips while he's surround by his friends, Geto, Gojo and Choso, all four looking like guard dogs, but really, they're waiting for customers.

You told your best friend, Shoko, that you're off to the bathroom when really, you just wanted to see your favourite (only) drug dealer. So with the swing of the hips, you strut towards him.

His dark, crimson gaze catches your movement and trails your body as you sway towards his group of boys, his eyes lingering on your hips for a brief moment before his eyes flick back to your own, his lips twitching up into a slight smirk as he watched you approach.

The three other boys turn to look at you too, clearly curious as to what you were going to do. "What do you want?" Sukuna asks, his voice gruff and deep as he takes the blunt from between his lips, his eyes roaming your body for a moment longer before he looks up to fix his gaze on yours once more. His friends stay silent, watching the interaction between yourself and Sukuna with curious gazes.

"Can't a friend say ‘hi', 'Kuna?" You tilt your head to the side while your fingers reach out to his chest, manicured nails tracing along his hard chest under the thin cotton of his shirt until they reached the blunt, before you plucked it out from his lips.

He gives you a slight look of faux annoyance, but can't help the smirk that appears on his face at your forwardness.

Sukuna’s friends all smirk, Gojo leaning in to whisper something in Choso's ear before looking back at you and Sukuna. Geto just looks bored, his eyes lazily scanning over the two of you.

You take a long inhale of the blunt before shifting your weight to the other foot. "You never introduced me to your friends, asshole."

His smirk deepens slightly, and he gives a small sigh. "They're a bunch of pussies. You don't 'need' to know them." He says, his voice low as he leans in a little closer, his breath tickling the skin of your exposed neck.

His friends give a small gasp, and Gojo rolls his eyes. "Rude much?" He says, his hands on his hips.

"Yeah, why don't you introduce us to your girlfriend?" A corner of Geto's lips tugged up, even under the vibrant pink and red flashing lights, you could see the piercing violet of his eyes.

A muscle twitches in Sukuna's jaw, and he turns his dark gaze to Geto. "She's not my girlfriend.” He says, his voice icy as his gaze fixes back to you, his eyes trailing down your body lazily.

The three other boys all smirk at his comment, and Gojo leans in a little closer. "You sure about that?" He asks, a hint of mockery in his tone.

You roll your eyes. "We aren't dating."

"See?" Sukuna quips, his lips curling into a smirk. "I told you."

"We are just friends. It's been nothing more and won't be anything less." You shot back, all while leaning more into Sukuna, and bringing the blunt back to your lips.

You said this, yet your mind couldn't help but go to the situation you were in just the other day, pressed up against Sukuna, on his lap in the backseat of his car while you two shared a blunt.

As the music in the car began to fill the air, he leant back comfortably in his seat. He could feel the warmth of your body against his, your scent filling his senses and making his head feel fuzzy for a moment.

He reached over and takes a long drag from the blunt, the smoke filling the car and making the air around your both hazy. His free hand found its way to your thigh, his thumb tracing mindless circles against the material of your skirt.

A shiver ran down your spine when you felt his touch, while you take the blunt from his lips and taking a hit yourself, eyes staring back at his slender, vermillion ones. The car fell into a comfortable silence for a moment, save for the soft music playing quietly through the radio.

Sukuna’s hand on your thigh started to inch further up under your skirt, fingers tracing the soft flesh of your inner thigh with the lightest touch possible, almost teasingly.

He's completely focused on the sight of you in his car, your body pressed up against his, and the way your skirt has ridden up just enough that he can feel your soft skin beneath his hand.

He leant in closer, his breath hot on your skin as he lets out a breath. "This skirt of yours is too short, doll.” He murmured, his voice low and thick with desire as his hand slowly moved up your thigh further.

You grin, it's lazy and loopy. "No, I don't think it's short enough, 'Kuna."

A smirk quirks at the corner of his lips, and he let out a low rumble of amusement at your words. His hand moves higher and higher up your thigh, his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

"Oh really?" His breath hot against your skin as he speaks, sending a shiver of desire down your spine.

You nod. "Yeah, I think it should be this short." You tell him, while grabbing the fabric of your skirt and raising it until it's bunched at your waist, exposing your thin panties that's formed a neat wet patch between your legs.

His eyes darkened, his breath leaving him in a gasp as a possessive, feral look flashed in his vermilion irises. His hand that was on your thigh grips your hip, his fingers digging into the flesh there as he pulls you even closer to him.

He lets out a low growl, his lips brushing against your ear as he speaks, "You know damn well what you're doing, don't you?"

"No? Show me?"

A dark smirk creeps across his lips at your reply. With a quick and smooth movement, his hand slides from your hip to your chin, tilting your head up to meet his gaze.

His grip on your waist tightens, holding you in place as he leans in, his lips hovering a mere breath away from yours. "You want me to show you what you do to me?" he murmurs, his voice a low rumble as his eyes rake over your exposed skin.

"Show me, and don't hold back." A low, feral growl rumbles in his chest, and he leans in to press a hot, possessive kiss to your neck. He kisses and nips at the skin there before he starts to trail down, his tongue laving along your pulse point as he murmurs,

"You don't have to tell me twice." His hand on your chin moves to the strap of your bra, his touch light and teasing as he begins to unhook it with practiced ease.

You groan, before plopping the blunt back between your lips, now with both hands free, you sink them into his cotton candy coloured hair. A low, appreciative hum rumbles in his chest as you thread your fingers through his hair, your touches and soft sounds of pleasure only serve to push his possessive nature further.

He pushed your bra strap down as his lips travel lower, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses along your exposed skin. His tongue darted out, tracing lazy patterns along the exposed flesh, his breath hot against your skin.

His tongue teased and probed until he's found the sweet spot where your neck and collarbone meets. He nips and sucks at the sensitive skin, his teeth just harsh enough to make your body shudder.

Sukuna’s hand, which had been on your chin, moves down, his fingers tracing along the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, his touch light and taunting.

His lips make their way down your chest, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses in their wake.

His free hand, which had been unbuttoning your shirt, pushes the material of the garment down your shoulders, exposing more of your skin to his hungry gaze. He pulls back for a moment, his eyes dark and darkened as he drinks in the sight of your body almost fully exposed to him.

“'Kuna, I wanna touch you too." You groan, handing him back the blunt.

A small, smug smile plays at the corners of his lips as he takes the blunt from you once more, his gaze slowly raking over your body as you speak.

"I have no objections to that," he says, his voice low and husky with desire. His eyes darkened as he looks over your near-nude state, and he takes another long drag of the joint as he murmurs, "But only if you ask nice."

A soft, needy sigh escapes your lips before you rock your hips forward, enough to have you balanced on your knees and your hands go to his shoulders. "Please can I touch you, 'Kuna? I wanna feel you."

A low growl rips from his chest as he looks down at you, his gaze dark and filled with desire. He brings his hand up to your jaw, tilting your head up as his thumb brushes against your bottom lip.

"You look so needy right now," he murmurs, his voice smooth and full of barely restrained restraint. "You want to touch me that badly, do you?"

You hurriedly nod. His smirk widened at your eagerness, and he let out a low hum of satisfaction as he lets his fingers trail down from your jaw, tracing along the column of your neck.

"Then come and touch me," he said, his voice low and rough as he leant back against the seat of the car, the blunt still in one hand as he looks at you with a heated gaze. "Show me how much you wanna touch me."

With quick, agile movements, your hand drops from his shoulders to his sweats, eagerly tugging down the waistband.

Sukuna’s breath hitched slightly in his throat at your sudden boldness, his eyes darkening as they rake over you. A low, possessive rumble rumbles in his chest, and he looks at you with a mixture of admiration and lust.

"Eager, aren't you?" He says, his voice husky and rough with want. He leans back against the car seat, the back of his head resting against the soft material, and he lets his hand rest on your shoulder, a silent invitation for you to continue.

"Shut up, don't act like you don't enjoy this." You mumbled, moving onto his boxers next before working to get those off.

A dark, almost predatory smile curled at the corner of his lips, his eyes never leaving yours as he watches you work.

"I do.” He said simply, his voice a low, rough rumble. He leaned back, his head resting against the seat as he allows you to take charge, his eyes dark and full of possessive desire as he watches you.

His hand that was on your shoulder moves to the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair, a silent command not to move too fast.

Your eyes would not and could not be pried off his aching cock that sprung free, the same pattern of tattoos that ran down his cheeks, chest and back also ran down the thick, veiny shaft, a aching, pink tip that weeped arousal.

Sukuna’s breath hitched slightly as you examine him, and a low, quiet noise rumbles in his chest as he lets you look.

You could almost feel the heat radiating from him in waves, his eyes dark and filled with desire. Tenderly, eagerly, lovingly, hastily, you crane your neck down and let your saliva dribble past your lips and onto his fat tip.

"Yeah, just like that." Sukuna groaned as you wrapped your hand around him and pumped in languid strokes. He watched you with eyes dropping shut as he brought the blunt to his lips, taking a large inhale before tipping his head back and letting the smoke chimney out.

You pumped and twisted your wrist, ensuring his cock was evenly lubricators before removing your hand. "Gonna ride you, 'Kuna." You told him as you leant back, about to take off your underwear when Sukuna stopped you.

"Leave them on." He told you, using his fingers to push it off to the side instead, exposing your glistening pussy, dripping out of pure want.

A whine was tugged from your lips when his thumb lifted and pushed against your pearled nub, rubbing hard circles. His painted nail got coated in your slick before he removed his hand altogether. Hastily, you say straighter and positioned yourself over his tip, letting it rub against your folds before it caught onto your hole.

Almost as eager, Sukuna thrusted his hips up, having his tip slip into you, having you groan out before allowing your weight to drop down onto him, his tattoos disappearing into your pussy, feeding you his cock. Not even waiting for the pain from the stretch subdue, you began to raise your hips, bouncing them up and down, lips falling open as your fingers dug into his shoulders.

"Yeah, like that. Show me how much you love this cock." Sukuna egged you on, greedy eyes trained on your pussy that gripped and squeezed him, ego boosting when he saw your thighs quiver from the strain it was to take him.

"I love it, makes me feel so good." You moaned, leaning back onto the backs of the front seats and swivelling your hips, switching between the circular motions and the pivot motions.

Your eyes rolled back into your skull when you felt his fingers reach out and wrap around your neck, squeezing. His other hand went around you, and squeezed at the flesh of your ass, leaving crescent shaped dents in its woke.

"I can feel you getting tired. Can't do shit properly when you're getting fucked on my dick? Stupid slut." Sukuna grinned, palm whipping your ass cheeks until his heart's content, until they were sore and tender.

"Please? Please? Please help m-me?" You managed to get out, letting Sukuna use his hand on your throat and now the other on your hip to piston you on his cock, his hips thrusting up to meet yours.

You let your one arm fall limply while the other traced around your breasts and down the expanse of your stomachs before it reached between your legs and found your aching clit, fingers swirling around to enlighten your pleasure.

"Do that, makes you squeeze around me tighter, shit," Sukuna groaned, veins popping out on his forehead as he heaved out ragged breaths. "Dumb yourself down on this dick."

Sukuna's eyes ravaged you, seeing you crumble under his touch. His cock plummeting into the funny depths of your pussy, convulsing around him, making him curse.

The blunt was discarded, now burning out on the car seat. Sukuna let his fingers unravel from your throat, and allow for them to fly in the air and land on your breasts, landing a harsh slap against your sensitive nipple. "Mm, 'Kuna. More." You blabbered, head thrown back and fingers rubbing your clit raw.

Sukuna grinned wolfishly, bringing his hand up and slapping your other breast, watching you squirm. His fingers then went to your nipple and pinched the sensitive bud, until you cried out, feeding into his primal and sadistic fantasies. He didn't give your nipple it's time to recover before he was squeezing away, groaning when you clenched down on him harder.

"Fuck! Fuck! 'Kuna 's sore!" You whined, grinding your hips onto his. You whimpered when he removed his fingers, until they were suddenly working their way past your lips, pressing against your throat and pushing your tongue down.

"Shut up, you dumb slut. Your body is just too good, it's making me want to destroy you," he bit his grin, eyes dark when he felt you squeeze him. "You like that idea? Need me to destroy you?"

You frantically nodded, breath knocked out of you when your back hit the plush seats, now having Sukuna hover over you.

His right hand gripped the seat above while the other gripping your hip, before his hips were thrusting into you, relentlessly.

The car windows steamed over with smoke and condensation. Loud moans and mewls tumbled from your babbling lips as you felt your brain become nothing short of mush, oozing out from between your legs, arousal dripping down his cock.

"W-Who knew that selling some high class princess would lead to me slutting her out in my car, h-huh?" Sukuna gloated, before a marvellous idea sprung in his mind. His fingers found the window button and pressed it, letting the glass roll down. "Gonna let everyone hear how good I'm making you feel."

His hips nearly pulled his cock all the way out of you, before it plummeted back in, leaving you to loudly moan his name.

"Yeah, tell everyone who's making you feel this good."

"You... Su...Kuna!" You moaned loudly, letting anyone and everyone hear you. "I'm—I'm gonna cum! Gonna cum! Gonna—!" A raw, loud moan ripped from the deep confines of your chest as you came, your orgasm hitting you like a brick wall.

Your nails dug into the car seat and your back arched, mouth wide open and cross eyes as Sukuna fucked you through your orgasm.

"Shit! Fuck! I'm cumming too, gonna cum deep in this pussy..." Sukuna groaned, his becoming sloppy as he spilled inside of you, filling you full of cum that began to drip out of you. "Shit, doll. Might keep you around now. Might need to make you mine."

And now you blinked up at the snowette, who peered down at you with a smirk, eyeing the hand that wrapped around your waist. "You sure? Like really sure?"

"Yep, we are strictly friends." You nodded.

"Sweet, so youre single?"

And Sukuna nearly shredded Gojo to pieces.

[mj0702]

El Classíco

Keira wanted to shoot someone. Preferly you. Or herself. She hasn't decided yet. Here she was stuck with you at the Barcelona Airport on the way to Madrid and you were so high on energy that you just zipped around players, staff and other passengers. She tried to keep you contained but the second you saw Mapí, Pina and Patri it was a lost battle. Lucy was all the way in London whilst you decided you'd stay in Barcelona so naturally the task of guardian fell to Keira. She cursed the day Lucy accepted Chelseas offer moving back England. Of course she wanted to take you with her but you fought her teeth and nails over it so in the end Keira herself stepped in saying she'll look after you – boy she wished she didn't. Keira loved you – more than anything on the world and with all the ticks and weird habits you had. But she's clearly not cut for motherhood.

“Bitsy!!!” Keira yelled out her tone a mix of warning and annoyance “Leave Vicky alone”

You looked up with a guilty look on your face from under the seats where you were currently occupied tying Vickys shoelaces together. Your lower lip pushed forward you started to pout immediately

“Don't give me that look... come here” the englishwoman rolled her eyes pushing Ewas leg slightly so she'll move a seat and make space for you which the polish forward immediately followed suit

“But...” you whined still laying on the ground under the seat Vicky sat on “... boring”

“It's not my fault our flight got delayed Bits...” Keira sighed knowing it would be absolutely horrifying once you boarded the plane “... I promise you can run it off later”

“Nooooo...” you whined like a three year old on the verge of a tantrum

Now Alexia stepped in helping her teammate out by grabbing your ankles pulling you out from under the bench unceremonially and before you could crawl forward again she already grabbed your shirt.

“Come one Cariño...” the blonde huffed as she pulled you upright “... you know you have to behave or we'll ship you back to Ingles”

“But it's so boring...” you stomped your foot missing Alexias by mere inches

“What is wrong with you today?” Alexia asked confused as she pushed you forward towards Keira

“There wasn't any time this morning that I could let her run out the energy and now she's just restless... just wait until we're on the plane... it's gonna be hell” Keira answered in your place as she pulled you down next to her

“We have the plane to ourselves...” the blonde said seeing how your leg started to bounce restlessly

“Thank God for that....” the englishwoman mumbled putting her hand on your knee trying to calm you

“Neña...” Mapí appeared next to Alexia smiling widely “... Ingrid said I'm allowed to go look at the duty free as long as I'm not going alone... you come?”

“Yes!!” you immediately exclaimed happily trying to stand up

“No” Keira said smiling fake

“But...” you whined

“Not what I meant María” Ingrid spoke up “... I meant Alexia, Irene or Marta”

“But they're no fun” Mapí looked at her girlfriend like she insulted her mother

“One of these three or plant your ass back on your seat” the norwegian said while Alexia snorted out a “Hell no”

“But maybe Neña wants something too....” the tattooed spaniard begged “... she likes the chocolates here.. I know... I bought them here and she really liked them”

“Keira please” you begged now too big puppy eyes on display

“No Bitsy...” Keira sighed pressing her eyes shut mentally counting to ten

“You are so unfair” you exclaimed before starting to pout your arms crossed over your chest

“I can offer a deal” Irene now spoke up the maternal instinct taking over “I can take y/n if Marta agrees taking Mapí... I think two of ous can rein them in”

“Bitsy I swear” Keira warned you and you knew it was serious “... if you step out of line ONCE I'll make sure Lucy picks you up from Madrid”

“But Lucy has a game herself... she has no time to come to fake-spain city” you looked genuinely confused

“Then you'll stay with one of them until she's able to pick you up” the englishwoman sneered her nerves truly gone

“I don't want to stay with them” you shook your head

“Then either behave for Irene OR stay seated....” Keira was about to lose it “... but behave!”

You shot out of your seat placing yourself next to Irene grabbing onto her shirt quickly making the defender chuckle

“You don't need to hold onto me, y/n” the tall defender said with a smile

“Oh no no...” Keira interrupted quickly “... she absolutely does... Lucy that daft woman took Bronzo with her... so until we have Bronzo back she knows she has to hold onto people”

“I never have to do that when I'm with Ona” you grumbled to yourself

“She only has you on afternoons after training... the only thing you do there is eat and sleep” Keira rolled her eyes “... and even if you don't HAVE to do it while you're with her you still do... I’ve got pictures”

“If you want to go to the duty free go now...” Alexia said after she had a short talk with one of the Airport staff “... we'll board in 30 Minutes”

“Come on Irene...” you quickly shot forward pulling the Legazpi rooted player after you not waiting on Mapí who just pulled Marta out of her seat earning a confused look from Caro.

“Where are they?” a stressed looking Alexia grumbled after she checked her watch a fourth time.

Everyone else was already boarded except for Mapí, Marta, Irene, Keira, you and herself

“I should’ve known” Keira said an annoyed look on her face “It’s Bitsy…. Her brain runs a million miles a second but dear God once she gets distracted “

“VAMOS” Alexia suddenly yells seeing Marta and Irene herding Mapí and you down the airport towards your gate

Alexia had to take a double take with all the stuff you and Mapí were carrying. Mapí was carrying two big (obviously) full bags – one in each hand – while you were had your arms full with chocolates, sweets and a Sombrero on your head. Irene was carrying a MASSIVE M&M plush toy dressed in a Barca Jersey

“Díos mio… what is all this???” the catalan escaped once you stopped in front of her grinning widely

“That’s Caro” you smiled happily making Irene turn around the plush toy showing Alexia the Jersey print “Scowling face… soft on the inside”

“I…” the blonde spaniard looked bewildered at you before turning to your guardian “Keira?”

“Don’t question it… off you hop Bitsy… plane is just waiting for you” Keira waved off pushing you towards the gangway “… I’ll pay you later Irene… thank you so much for taking her”

“De nada Keira” the defender adjusted her hold on “Caro” smiling softly “… but she paid for everything herself”

“How did… oh no… no no no no” Keira mumbled once she realized what you might have done reaching for her wallet

“BITSY!!” the englishwoman exclaimed after checking her wallet to find her credit card gone “.... you’ll work off every single penny I swear!!”

“She stole your credit card?” Alexia looked at Keira shocked

“Yeah… but she has a good head on her and I know she only gets kids stuff…. Or Christmas presents she then gifts to you…” Keira waved off smiling slightly as she saw you placing the massive plush toy on Caros lap who looked just terrified “… never let her see your cards by the way… Kid can save numbers in her head like no one else… she used Lucys card to buy herself a mini- cross bike.. she was six…”

“Good to know” the catalan mumbled before she scolded you “Cariño…. Leave Caro alone and sit down”

“Caro doesn’t want to sit with herself….” You whined trying again to get the norwegian to hold onto the M&M

“She... They need to get to know each other first…” Alexia said quickly “… you wouldn’t want a stranger to sit on your lap would you?”

“Oh… lost siento Caro” you mumbled after it dawned on you

“So let Caro sit next to… Caro and just sit down” the blonde said softly seeing how you chew your lip started to get distressed

“Good thinking there Capi” Keira chuckled as she pushed past the catalan

“Gracias…” Alexia smirk “… I slowly get the hanger of it with her”

“Hang… not hanger” Keira smiled “… and yes you do…”

“She’s not going to calm down once we get on the runway is she?” the catalan spoke softly to Keira watching how you got in your seat but already started to annoy Vicky by kicking the back of her seat

“Oh no…” Keira snorted “… it’s gonna get worse”

“Díos mio” Alexia sighed before making her way over to you to get into the seat next to you

“Alexia?” you mumbled uncomfortable

“Sí Cariño?” the blonde answered not really paying attention reading and article about women in sports

“Can I please get out?” your voice on the edge of panic but still low

“No Cari” the catalan said “… we already left the block and are ready for take off… you can use the toilet once the seatbelt sign is off”

“I don’t need the toilet…” you mumbled your breathing picking up slightly

“Then why…” Alexia now looked up to find you pressed into your seat your hands gripping the hand rest tightly your knuckles white your chest showing your rapid breathing “Cari?”

“Can I please get out?” you pressed out panicked

“Cariño….” The catalan said firmly “.. look at me”

You didn’t react so Alexia grabbed your chin forcing you to look at her

“Everything is okay…” the catalan said soft but firm “…. Talk to me so I can help you”

“I just want out” you said now in full on panic mode

“Not possible Cari… what do you need?” Alexia kept her voice soft hoping to calm you down

“Lucy” you whimpered and Alexia immediately had an idea

“Ona…” the blonde turned around still firmly holding you chin so you have something to concentrate on

“Sí?” Ona looked up from her book

“Have you got something that smells like Lucia?” Alexia asked

“I have an old hoodie…” the small catalan answered unsure

“Would you mind giving it up during take off?” the blonde asked feeling how you tried to free yourself from her hold

“No… why?” Ona looked confused

“Cariño needs something to calm her down” Alexia explained and Ona immediately pulled Lucys old TarHeel hoodie out of her bag giving it to her captain

“Gracias” the blonde smiled as she grabbed the fabric laying it over her shoulder before she guided your face towards it

“It’s not ideal but there’s nothing more that I can do right now” Alexia said softly as you pressed your nose into the fabric breathing in deeply immediately calming down at Lucys scent that still coated the hoodie

“There we go… Bueno Cari” the blonde mumbled letting go of you carefully when she was sure you’d stay right where you were

You whimpered once through the take off when the plane dropped a little bit but other than that it went quite smoothly and when Alexia checked on you when the seatbelt signs came off she found you snoring into Lucys hoodie against her shoulder. Keira came over the second she could having seen how you struggled before take off but also decided to let Alexia handle it. So now when she saw you sleeping against the blonde she couldn't help but smile

“Good job Capi” Keira teased nodding towards you “... but you'll wear her out later”

“I will what?” Alexia asked confused

“You'll power her out... her sleeping now?? She's recharging” the englishwoman grinned “She'll be all fresh and full of energy”

“Dios.... Cariño... wake up” the blonde had big eyes shaking you lightly

“I wouldn't do that if I were you” Keira smirked “... I know her better than she knows herself... don't wake her up... you'll regret it... oh... and don't move too much”

“Bebita...” you heard a soft voice and felt a light touch “... vamos Bebita... get up”

“Oni?” you mumbled more asleep than awake

“Sí... come on Bebita...” Ona kept her voice low knowing from experience that you better wake up slow otherwise you'll be grumpy big time

“Nooooo....” you whined turning away from her pulling the hoodie around your head

“Yes Bebita...” your sisters girlfriend chuckled starting to stroke your back

“Oniiii” you whined louder trying to shake her off

“Bebita... don't make me get Lucy to wake you up... come on... vamos” Ona threatened you playfully

“I'm up” you shot up hitting your head successfully on the overhead storage “Damn fucking fuck”

“Bebita” the small spaniard groaned when you started to rub your forehead

“Hurts” you whined but Ona ignored it pulling you out of your seat pushing you down the aisle

“Come on...” Ona said “... everyone is already off the plane and waiting for us”

“Where are we?” you looked confused still rubbing your head

“Madrid” the blonde spaniard answered shortly when she spotted Keira “... I got her up... she hit her head.... here you go”

“Kei...” you whined “... I don't like it here”

“Bitsy I told you it's El Classico this weekend” Keira said pulling you into her side “... I gave you the choice if you wanted to come with me or fly to Lucy”

“As if I fly to that godforsaken freezing country” you mumbled

“Still your birth country Bits” the englishwoman chuckled “... come on... we'll go to the hotel now and later Alexia will take you to the pitch so you can get some energy out”

“Do I have to go with heeeerrr...” you whined loudly

“Yes....” Keira chuckled

“I want to go with Mapí....” you started to drift off into a tantrum

“Mapí will be there too....” your guardian said calmly pressing a soft kiss to the little bump on your forehead “... even tho she'll be there with Ingrid and Irene”

“CARO” you suddenly yelled trying to get out of Keiras grip to get back to the aircraft

“She's right there” Keira tried to calm you down holding onto you tightly

“Not her” you exclaimed starting to work against Keira basically dragging her with you

“Bitsy” the englishwoman pressed through her teeth “... BOTH Caros are here”

“Where?” you asked confused stopping dead in your tracks

“Pina has it....” Keira said thanking god above that you came to a halt

“Not possible... Caro is bigger than Tweedledumb” you looked around finding Pina struggling with the massive plush toy “... huh... maybe it is possible”

“Come on Cari... again” Alexia yelled standing at the kick off point seeing you sprint at her “... derecha!”

“What was that again?” you stopped dead in your tracks looking at Alexia lost

“To the right...” the blonde rolled her eyes pointing the way she wanted you to go

“My right or your right?” you asked carefully

“Your right” the catalan shook her head turning around to Keira who was watching you from the stands with Ona, Marta, Vicky and Esmee “... is she always so difficult to train?”

“She's actually paying attention today” Keira laughed back “... wait till she gets distracted...”

“Ay díos” Alexia mumbled

“You díosing a lot today... maybe you should get a massage or something... you'll get wrinkles” you said tilting your head

“I'll get WHAT?” the blonde whipped around glaring at you

“Wrinkles... wait... what was the spaniard word....” you said before starting to chew your lip thinking hard “... aquagas or something... Ona... what's wrinkles again in spaniard??”

“ARRUGAS” Ona yelled back trying to hold in her laughter

“Arrogants.... that... you'll get that...” you nodded your head happily but a second later you squeaked starting to sprinting away when Alexia lunged at you

“Torna aquí!!!” the catalan yelled after you sprinting after you while the women in the stands bursted out laughing loudly

“What do I missing?” Aitana asked as she sat down next to Ona watching how Alexia chased you down the sideline

“Bebita va dir bàsicament a La Reina que s'està fent vella i arrugada” Ona snorted seeing how you tried to get rid of the blonde by changing directions and when that didn't work you tried to involve Mapí

“Cari... last chance... come down” Alexia said from her position looking up at you hands on her hips her eyebrow raised

“Nu-uh” you shook your head looking down at her

“Cariño...” the catalan warned you again pointing down to a spot in front of her

“Alexia...” Irene called over “... it's time... Madrid will come out any second for their training”

“I can't just leave her here” Alexia yelled back pointing at you

“I'll get Keira” Irene said shaking her head slightly... 17 years and you occupied a whole football team – even her 2 year old at home didn't need as much attention and needed to be looked after like you did

“No...” the blonde snapped “... I won't allow it”

“Alexia...” the defender said softly knowing why her friend denied any help “... you know there will be backlash if we don't leave the pitch when they come out”

“Down NOW” Alexia said strictly at you

“No.... you'll punish me even tho I didn't do anything” you said crossing your arms over your chest

“Alexia...” a new Person suddenly appeared next to Alexia and Irene

“Misa...” the blonde grumbled her eyes not leaving your form while Irene pulled the young Keeper into a hug

“Quick... probably unimportant question...” the dark haired Madrid player piped up “... why is there a Teenager standing on my crossbar?”

“Funny story...” Irene snorted “... that teenager is Lucy Bronze sister... she didn't wanna go back to england...”

“... it's FREEZING there... and wet... 362 days a year rain... why should I trade sunshine and good food for... rain, fish and Lucy...” you interrupted the defender protesting loudly who just ignored your outburst

“... she was a little... energetic and we thought it would be a good idea if she could run it off... but she has a habit of speaking before thinking... she told Alexia she's getting wrinkles” Irene ended her recap of the last two hours “... and when she noticed Alexia can outrun her she saved herself by climbing on the crossbar... we can't get her down without her getting injured so now Alexia tries it the old fashioned way...”

“Glaring and demanding?” Misa looked past Irene at Alexia

“Sí” the defender snorted

“Get. Down. NOW” the catalan demanded again and you shook your head again still perfectly balanced on the crossbar

“I can shoot her off...” Misa offered grinning

“Oh please... I saw your kick offs... 38% of your balls are half precise... the rest you're just lucky” this time it was you who snorted “... you couldn't shoot me off even if I was three time as big”

“¿disculpe???” the young keeper exclaimed

“No need to dislocate...” you waved off

“Cari!!” Alexia said again already seeing the rest of the Madrid squad shuffling out off the tunnel

“I'll get her down Alexia... don't worry” Misa grumbled

“Misa no..” the blonde “... ella terminará herida...”

But Misa already got herself a ball kicking it in your direction missing your head by mere centimeters but you didn't move a muscle nor did you flinch

“Oh look at that... I didn't even move!!!” you taunted the young spaniard “... make that 35%”

Again Misa kicked a ball in your direction and you saw how she already getting frustrated as this ball didn't even come close to you and you kept mocking her until Ona came jogging across the field holding out her phone

“Bebita... phone for you” she just said throwing her phone up you catching it with ease before she turned around greeting Misa

“Yeah??” you asked carefully into the mobile

“Get your ass off that Crossbar or I'll come out of retirement and pluck you off it meself” you heard from the other end

“Shit...” you exclaimed shocked swaying dangerously loosing your balance for a second “... Auntie E... Hiiiiiii”

“No no... off that crossbar... NOW” Ellen said strictly

“But Alexia...” you started but immediately got interrupted

“I don't care... I taught you professionalism.... act like I brought you up” the old england captain growled “... I can't believe I have to re-install your manners”

“She'll hit me because I said the truth... you also told me to tell the truth and stand up for yourself” you whined sticking your tongue out at Misa “... seriously... that was the fifth ball... how did you not hit me by now?”

“BB...” Ellen White warned you

“If she hits me it's your fault” you grumbled as jumped off the crossbar landing right in front of Alexia who immediately grabbed you pulling you away followed by Irene and Ona

“Bitsy... please behave today” Keira spoke lowly to you not to disturb her teammates on the way to the game “.. I'm starting and I can't work if I have to keep an eye on you – if you need anything Marta or Irene will be on the bench okay... PLEASE Bitsy”

“I'll have an eye on the Neña I promise!!” Mapí eagerly said already pulling on your arm

“Absolutely not...” the englishwoman quickly grabbed your other arm stopping any plan Mapí could come up with “... you stay with Frido or Ellie”

“But” you immediately whined

“No... I have to get on the pitch so either you decide NOW or I'll decide” Keira said strictly and Frido looked at her like a deer

“Ellie” you mumbled and immediately got shoved in the Keepers direction

“Ellie... you know her... control her” Keira said as she jogged off taking her place on the pitch

“OY REF!!!” you shot of the bench a fourth time seeing how Pina clutched her foot

“Chickadee...” Ellie said calmly pulling you back by your jersey

“¿Eres completamente estúpida, ciega como una puta perra??” you continued to yell now getting held back by Marta who immediately scolded you for your language

“Y/n!!” Marta quickly interrupted you slapping her hand over your mouth

“LethercomeIendherandherfakelashes” you muffled from under her hand as Marta pulled you down beside her

“You are worse than Mateo... and he's two” Marta sneered pressing you deeper into the seat next to her

“Who'sMateo?” you looked at her confused her hand still covering your mouth

“Irenes son” the dark haired spaniard rolled her eyes pulling her hand away

“Who's Irene?” you tilted your head

“Paredes... the one who you dragged into the duty free” Marta said shaking her head

“Oooooh... dinosaur spaniard... now I know who you... REF” you said smiling before you shot out of your seat again

“Sit back down” Marta scolded you again “How does Keira deal with this on a daily basis?”

“Why is your english so good? Spaniards are not very good at english” you wondered

“My girlfriend is norwegian... english is the easiest option” Marta rolled her eyes

“You're dating princess norwegian too?? Damn... I didn't expect that” your eyes wide

“No...” the older spaniard shook her head “... I'm not dating Ingrid... I'm in a relationship with Caroline”

“She's not nice... she didn't like Caro” you mumbled before shooting up again “Carmona you stupid...”

“Sit” Marta pulled you back harshly “... how does Keira deal with you all day long”

“CARMONA!!!” you yelled loudly and to your satisfaction the Madrid player looked over

“Fuck you” you yelled lifting both your middle fingers up flipping her off

“Y/n Lucia Tough Bronze!!” you heard Keira yell from her position on the pitch and you shrunk down in your seat

Alexia came off in the 70th minute taking over looking after you from Marta who was very grateful for the break. Until that you yelled at the Ref until you received a yellow card, were shit talking to Olga every chance you got, kicked a bottle in between Atheneas feet so she tripped while a throw in and nearly got your hands on the medic bag from Madrid

“Cari...” Alexia sighed as she pulled you on her lap “... por favor stop it”

“She not being fair...” you exclaimed but relaxed against Alexias chest

“We lead 5 – 0 Cari...” the blonde said softly “... she can't...”

“Someone can get hurt...” you mumbled “.... they're targeting Ona”

“Ona is a big girl...” the catalan kept her hold strong around your waist

“No she's not...” you snorted

“She's a strong player” Alexia corrected herself

“I don't like Madrid” you mumbled

“Bueno Cariño...” the blonde said proudly “.... that's a good Culer”

“You do know that it literally translates to “Arse” in english right? So I'm a good arse...” you deadpanned making Alexia laugh out loudly

“No causing trouble after the game is over okay” the catalan said after her eyes flickered to the clock seeing there were only a few minutes left

“I would never” you faked innocents smiling sweetly

“You definitely always would” Alexia said raising her eyebrow

“Cariño...” Alexia pressed out as you climbed on her back leaning over her shoulder trying to grab Olgas ponytail “... stop it”

“Just a few inches” you mumbled leaning further trying to snatch the end of the hair

Alexia struggled to keep her balance with your wait gravitating forward

“Bitsy” Keira suddenly appeared next to the blonde already watched you for a few minutes “... down”

“I nearly got...” you started and then Olga moved away shaking hands with Vicky “... great Keira... you scared her away”

“Come down Bitsy... you don't need to be carried around by Alexia” the englishwoman sighed

“But she's so high... it's like on top of the tower of London” you whined trying to direct the blonde into the direction of Olga again who was talking to Irene further down the field

“Bitsy...” Keira groaned pulling slightly on your Jersey

“I...” you whined but the look on Keiras face shut you up immediately and you slid down Alexias back

“Good girl” the englishwoman praised you smiling pulling you into her side limiting the actions you probably had planned “Come on... I need to shower and then we can get some food into you”

“Neña!!” Mapí yelled waving you over

“Keira pleeeeeaaaaaase...” you looked at her hopefully

“Go... but no trouble” Keira rolled her eyes letting go of you and you sprinted forward towards Mapí

“Keira!” Ingrid bursted through the locker room door her arm holding you securely

“What?” your guardian exclaimed annoyed from the showers

“We need help” the norwegian exclaimed making the englishwoman groan annoyed

“What did she do now?” Keira rolled her eyes getting a towel around her body

“Technically nothing...” Ingrid said as she carefully put you down

“Please...” the englishwoman snorted coming out of the shower “... she's a Bronze... dear Jesus Christ Bitsy... what have you done???”

“It was Carmona” you whined holding your nose tears in your eyes

“I TOLD you to leave that woman alone” Keira scolded you while she carefully pried your hand of your face seeing the dried blood from your nose “... Jesus Christ!”

“Keira she just went over and tipped her on the shoulder and Olga elbowed her in the face” Ingrid jumped in watching how the blonde inspected your face and nose

“Doesn't look broken...” Keira mumbled carefully moving your face from left to right “... still... we're gonna let a medic look over it”

“We tried that...” the norwegian piped up “... she kicked him”

“Yeah... she won't” the englishwoman said raised her eyebrow

“She wasn't happy...” Ingrid said carefully

“She won't kick again... I'm here” Keira said simply letting your face go stepping away from your form starting to dress herself

“I can't believe you bit her” Pina laughed sitting next to your sulking form “Her face”

“Yeah me face to” you said your voice nasal “... she broke me nose”

“Your Nose isn't broken” Keira said from the row behind you “.... it's bruised”

“It feels broken” you said pitifully

“Yeah well.... I told you to behave” the englishwoman waved off

“I DID... and she knocked me out” you exclaimed jumping up in your seat turning around

“Sit down Bits...” Keira said automatically and you sat back down huffing

“I'm never gonna be friendly to her ever again” you grumbled crossing your arms in front of your chest

“You will be respectfully and polite” your guardian warned you

“She hurt Ona” you shot up again trying to defend your actions

“And you caused a whole cluster fuck by BITING a spanish national player... BITING Bitsy... ” Keira shot back “... you cause an international cluster fuck”

“I would've hit her if I knew you'd preferred that” you pouted

“I would've preferred for you to stay out of trouble” the englishwoman said annoyance in her voice

“Mapí said it was okay.... that Real players are like tributes in the hunger games” you turned around again and you did it so fast you got a little dizzy

“Bitsy... stop arguing and stay in your seat” Keira just sighed knowing the more she talked about the incident the more you got fired up again

“Where is she?” Alexia asked immediately after she sat down next to Keira at the hotel bar

“Bed...” the englishwoman simply said “... Alexia listen....”

“You don't need to apologize....” the catalan said softly seeing how much Keira sometimes struggled to keep you in check “... she is who she is and I hope that she never changes – was it right to bite Olga? No... but that's who she is... she defends her family like no one I ever met... don't be mad at her for being herself...”

“She needs to grow up Alexia... she can't go around tanking through life without consequences...” Keira sighed taking a sip of her gin tonic “... she's 17 Ale... I'm scared that one day she's going that inch to far and there will be consequences... BIG consequences... she's like my own daughter... I need her to THINK before she acts.... she can't go around biting people”

“You won't change her Keira...” Alexia chuckled “... but you don't need to... she has a good heart and mostly a good head”

“I just never thought it'll be so hart to look after her on my own...” the englishwoman sighed

“But you aren't alone...” the catalan smiled as she took Keiras glass taking a sip herself “... you have all of us behind you – she's familia... you are familia Keira... we look after each other”

[thetadispatcher]

Strasky took note of Dan's interest in him, he brushed it off as the android being curious about his current state as he knew he didn't look like he was in the best shape. He saw no reason for it to have any deeper meaning and was more interested in Dan's general appearance then his uncertainty towards him. He noted that Dan's model on his uniform didn't glow like the ones on the other androids he'd seen, it was also static instead of swapping between his name or Cyberlife's name and his model type. He suspected Dan was older then the other models as he had less flashy things on his uniform.

Dan looked over Willow, his eyes narrowed slightly as he took a moment to assess if there was any possible dangers before he met her eyes. "Let me guess, some sci-fi type stuff?" Dan knew he was the only one really listening as any nearby androids were in other rooms conversing with each other, rarely did the others show interest in the visitors who were requesting work to be done. "Interdimensional?" Strasky was a bit shocked at how calmly Dan was discussing something he had no experience with.

Dan looked at Bishop again momentarily then back to Strasky. "You're Peter Strasky, correct?" Strasky nodded as he was a bit to startled to respond verbally, he knew he hadn't given Dan his name yet so he had to guess that it had something to do with the looks he'd been giving him. "And you probably go by Bishop." Dan motioned to the other man, his LED had started circling blue and yellow as he was likely figuring things out as he took in the implications of Willow's words and the two people he recognized.

Dan paused and turned to the only other android in the room with a mildly annoyed look, his flashing yellow LED made it clear the fear stricken android was talking to him mentally. "Vincent, please, stop it. It's fine, okay? We've talked about this, nothing is going to happen to you." Dan did his best to reassure the other, only getting a series of quiet, distressed noises in response. Dan gave Vincent an expectant look and made a motion with his hand, which the other took as a signal to keep working on whatever he was crocheting as he stayed curled up.

"You'll have to forgive Vincent, he takes longer then most to warm up to strangers. But he's making progress, he hasn't run off yet, so I'm very proud of him." He made sure to say the last part well looking at Vincent so he knew he was being praised for his accomplishment. Vincent perked up slightly but didn't show much more of a reaction as he was still trying his best to go unnoticed.

Strasky shifted his attention to the android on the couch, hating the fact he could recognize the look of primal terror on the male androids face as he tried his best to fold in on himself to appear as uninteresting as possible. His LED was flashing solid red which Strasky had a feeling wasn't good at all, red flashing lights always seemed to mean the worst possible things. The android stared him down, his eyes occasionally flicking to Dan with a look of desperation.

Strasky noticed his left ear was clearly bent, he could make out some blue cracks on the ear showing that it was damaged, and not part of his design. The other damaged one outside had similar blue marks on his face that he felt could almost be a type of scarring, which caused him to wonder what had happened to Vincent and if it had anything to do with his behavior.

"You don't have to worry about him saying anything about whatever is going on currently." Dan knew Vincent wasn't the type to tell others about strange experiences as he always did his best to avoid things he felt might draw attention to himself.

The sentiment was mutual, as far as Bishop was concerned. He wasn't much of a moviegoer, but he didn't enjoy the perspective of being surrounded by androids regardless. His paranoid nature couldn’t be helped, even though they were all more scared in general.

"If it's common practice to scrap malfunctioning androids without shutting them down, you can assume they must have all the reasons to be afraid of humans." he mused.

Rook scoffed, "You found some empathy in your chips or something?"

"We must encourage positive human behavior, Rook." Willow scolded her, "Although that might not be the only reason behind their wariness."

"And of course, you won't tell until the most amusing moment." Bishop said, watching the cowering android.

"Of course~"

At least Willow was enjoying herself in all this. She gave Dan her best fanged grin, letting the others go ahead before stepping inside. "Nice to meet you. My name is Willow. I will answer your questions if you promise that you and the other androids will keep quiet about this encounter."

[celestie0]

hi my friends! hope you're all doing well. just wanted to come on here and share a little updates w you guys (if you're still here lol)

i guess it's been like a month n a half since i formally went on hiatus, and it's been nice! i got kinda sick for a little bit lmfaooo which was tough to manage w school, but i'm better now

although i took time away from my blog, i still delved in writing here n there. i haven't written anything for kickoff since tbh i'm in such a slump w it. but i still have big plans for stuff that happens after ch13, so hopefully i can just push through this next chapter and get to a better place. thanks so much to anyone that is still interested in the story, it means a lot to me. i know i'm so slow w updates and the story has been going on for almost a year now, but the continued support is so sweet! even though i didn't work on writing it these past one n a half months, i still really love it and plan to finish it.

i'm not sure if many people remember that i had this sort of "apocalypse" gojo x reader au about an asteroid being set to hit the earth in three days, and reader n gojo are ex lovers n the impending end of the world makes them break no-contact...yeah i finished writing the first chapter for it and i really love it so far! it's like set in new york which is really fun haha i love stories where new york is kind of its own "character" if that makes sense...it will definitely be a limited series w only 4 chapters or so, but i kinda wanna finish all 4 chapters before i start posting it bc i don't want it to be a drawn out series in terms of posting since i think it'd be best enjoyed in frequent succession if that makes sense

as for ihm, i think i wrote the most for ihm during my hiatus. i finished three chapters for it, but they are shorter chapters (around 3-4k words). i kinda realized one of my biggest reasons for burnout w my fics were the reaaaaallly long chapters...like didn't i have a 22k chapter for kickoff or sumn lol. idk i can't remember. but anyways, yeah the mindset behind the longer chapters was bc i liked each chapter to kinda have its own conflict, build up, tension then resolution in a sense. but it was exhausting to write that way tbh lol. so i think moving forward, for ihm, i will have shorter chapters. i just don't wanna think to much about things anymore, and write from my heart, bc i have a lot of things planned for ihm, and among the criticism i've received for my writing choices vs my own vision for the story, i've realized during my hiatus that the only way i can finish ihm, or any of my storeis for that matter, is if i just.........stop giving a fuck about it. lol idk if that sounds strange to say, but like, i don't want to over-edit anything. i don't want to think too much about redundancy. i don't want to flower things up or cut stuff out. i'm at the point where imma just write a first draft, check for grammarly errors, and then post it. i guess the reason i'm sharing this is because idk if this means that people may enjoy my writing less since i will admittedly be spending much less time on it than i did before, but tbh i realized i find the most joy while i'm writing, and not while i'm editing. so i want to spend as little time on the latter as possible, and if that changes the quality of my work, then so be it.

anyways, hmm as for hiatus. i guess i'm off hiatus now? i really enjoyed being off of tumblr tbh this app has a lot of questionable content at times (esp in jjk community) and it also did wonders for my studying bc i wasn't spending time doomscrolling or shit posting anymore lmfaooo. but as for writing in particular, i think i will start to post ihm again exclusively. i can't say anything about kickoff or my other projects, but i feel comfortable to start posting ihm again.

sorry, i know that i have kept my replies and ask box off for a long time. but i will open them again once i start posting chapters because i really miss interacting with you guys.

anywho, these are my updates lol i'm like not sure how many of my readers are still here or which ones have moved on but that's ok, i'm grateful to anyone n everyone. hope to see you all soon again!

[zombii-hoe]

Yandere M! BFF x Reader

Yan BFF who you've been friends since middle school , the poor kid being bullied relentless from his peers for his weight. Stepping in, the bullies threatened to also beat you but that didn't really bother you. A few punches later, they run off with their tails tucked and yan bff stares at you in awe.

Yan BFF who then follows you around the school, too shy to approach and ask if you want to be friends. Luckily for him, you made that move yourself

Yan BFF who somehow becomes your best friend a few weeks later. Just don’t ask your old friends why they’ve been so distant with you. They don’t want to deal with anonymous threats again. This doesn't change even when he's an adult.

Yan BFF who questions EVERYONE you try to befriend you. "Are you sure you want to be their friend, [Name]? I think they're the same weirdo that probably stole that kid's puppy, but if you want to their friend go ahead, I won't stop you."

Yan BFF who grows to become a dick to others but a total mess for you. He could scare off people with a simple glare but becomes a stumbling, clumsy idiot who tries his best to impress you.

"The hell are you looking at, fuckface?"

*Notices you waving at him from down the street from the corner of his eye* "OMG HI BFF!!"

"...h-hi, [Name]!"

Yan BFF who puffs out his chest when people mistaken you as a couple, he doesn't say anything and basks in the title of 'couple', but you let out a snort and wrap a hand around his slutty waist. "Oh! No, no, he's my best friend!"

Death has never looked better for him. But Yan BFF can't give up! Not when he's the only one who ever understands your obsession of that one guy from that anime you always, or reading downright smutty fanfiction of them together, or when he cuddles you when you're sick, not caring that he'll also get sick, just ignore him smelling your hair.

Hell, even strangers think you guys should be together. Maybe you might need a little nudge in the right direction. It's okay though! He'll give you some more time to realize you guys are meant to be together.

Yan BFF will always try his hardest to make you fall for him, no matter how much you cry and scream at him when he finally has you in his grasps.

Want more of this? Buy me a ko-fi! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

[amermaidsecretdiary]

I'M QUITTING + MY VOID STATE SUCCESS STORY

Hello guys, it's been a long time since i have posted something or in general be active here which was mostly because of personal reasons (just focusing on myself), although one of them had to do with our community.

I personally joined loatumblr at the middle of 2022 (from a previous anonymous account i had) but i started posting much later. Back then, the community was at it's peak ngl. The bloggers and the way they explained stuff was honestly, at least for me, so helpful and enjoyable. After the end of 2023 - beginning of 2024 this community started dying. I really didn't like this since I loved scrolling through specific blogs and reading their posts. I tried to post some stuff to give a little bit of life in there and i guess it did help a little.

Quick note; Please don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that the current posts and blogs running right now suck.. what i'm saying is that this community used to be way more alive back then.

One of the reasons why this happened is because people applied and got what they wanted. So they logged off tumblr. When I realised that, I decided to seriously focus on loa and start applying myself. And i ended up manifesting some good stuff, and I was good with it. Although, after some time, i decided that i wanted to manifest a completely new life from scratch, which it was what i wanted to do from the first time i joined tumblr but i ditched that thought and ended up changing some stuff about my current life.

My goal back then was to enter the void state (which im pretty sure it was 95% of the people in here goal too), but i didn't understand it properly so i couldn't 'enter'. I ended up ditching it and manifested without it. But after some point, i did my research and fully understood the void state or better, pure consciousness. If you go through my blog, you won't see much stuff about pure consciousness because i choose to not talk about it in here. The way it is treated it loatumblr just pisses me off. If you post a void success story, people will immediately run to you and ask you basic stuff like 'how did u do it?' when all the information needed about it is already posted. People tend to see it as something 'huge' and believe they can't succeed in it which is bs. If you do a little bit of research on pure consciousness you will understand how simple it is. Although, even if the 'void state' is seem like something that people overcomplete this doesn't mean that you can not use it. What i'm saying is that there are some people who really dislike the concept of it and will recommend u not to try it. Look, everyone has their different opinions and beliefs but if you want to manifest your dream life in the void state, go ahead. After all, it found you for a reason.

So coming back to my experience, since it was always my 'dream' to manifest my dream life in the void state, i decided to do it now. I'm pretty good at lucid dreaming (i've been lucid dreaming 3 years now) i decided to tap into my pure consciousness during a lucid dream. So i did my usual routine, had a lucid dream in which i closed my eyes and found myself floating in a void. I affirmed that i have lucid dreams everynight and then i got out. I did this 4 days ago, and i have had around 3-4 lucid dreams every single night, without doing any practise at all. Also, i have been scripting my entire dream life and i'm preparing myself to finally experience it. I have decided to make a looottt of big changes but two of them are the 'biggest' for me; numb.1 i will manifest that i will completely forget about my current life (i will also not remember anything about the law, for personal reasons) and numb.2 i will go back in time around 30 years ago (again for personal reasons). I mentioned this to make it clear to you that i won't be able to post my 'success story' after manifesting it, since i will not remember anything about me manifesting stuff and also even if i did, i wouldn't be able to post it since i will not have access to tumblr or current technology in general. So my success story is this one. This days, when i find the right time for me, i will have a lucid dream as usual and tap into my pure consciousness again which from there, i will finally manifest the life of my dreams. So that's my final post you will see from me. I hope you all never give up and get what you want because trust me it's worth it and all this found u for a reason. If you really want it and you stay consistent, then it's all yours. My words can not describe the way i feel right now, knowing that i have my dream life right in front of me and i can just grab it and give it to myself anytime, after this big journey. Goodbye everyone :)

[sir3n-s]

Since Eddie came to live with him, Wayne has seen him bring home many things.

Mainly bugs or hurt animals.

One time he brought home a skunk. Sometimes Wayne thinks he can still smell it.

But this? This is something else.

"Wayne I can explain" he says standing in the��doorway with a jar.

A jar that has a pixie in it.

"That jar better have holes in it, Edward.'" He's praying that his nephew didn't hurt the pixie.

Pixies have been around for centuries and helping them will bring good luck. As in the pixie will most likely bring you gifts.

Hurting a pixie though?

He has heard some stories that would be labeled as horror if they were movies.

"Of course, it has holes in it!" Eddie says like it was ridiculous of him to ask, "I'm not stupid" Wayne thinks that is debatable but now is not the time for that.

"Yet you have a pixie in a jar" he sighs, wondering why this kid can't give him a break, "knowing what they are capable of."

"I know, I know!" Eddie says, looking down at the jar. "I just wanted to say hi, and then he attacked me! I didn't want to hurt him, but he wouldn't leave me alone!"

"So you thought putting it in a jar would make it like you," he says while getting up.

"Well no but I tried runng but he followed me"

He's going to need a beer after this. 

"Give me the jar," he says standing in front of his nephew. 

Eddie doesn't hesitate to hand it over. 

Wayne walks out the door of the trailer and starts opening the jar, "I apologize for my nephew, he doesn't think before he acts. He's a good kid, please don't hurt him" he takes the top off and lets the pixie fly out.

It flies in front of Wayne’s face for a moment before smiling and nodding at him, then zooms off.

Wayne walks back into the trailer to grab a beer and start lecturing his nephew.

-

Over the next few weeks, Eddie sees the pixie, who he learns name is Steve, come by the trailer to give gifts to Wayne.  

Eddie has tried to get close enough to apologize but Steve always files away the moment he sees Eddie. 

But he also doesn't do anything to Eddie so he guesses that Steve likes Wayne enough to leave his nephew alone. 

Which is good because pixies can be terrifying. 

"Give him some fruit," Wayne suggests after hearing Eddie complain about Steve leaving once he saw Eddie pull up to the trailer. "He really likes peaches." 

So Eddie cuts up a peach and puts it on a plate. He takes it outside to the bench close by and waits. 

Steve does eventually show up but Eddie can tell he's still cautious of him because he doesn't immediately go for the peach like he would if Wayne was the one offering it.

Eddie smiles at him and pushes the plate towards him hoping to encourage him to eat it.

Steve must have decided to trust Eddie because he dives for the peach slices.

He watches Steve eat a really small amount of the the peach, but pixies are so small it was probably a lot to him.

Once it seems like Steve had his fill of the fruit Eddie sets a napkin down next to the plate.

Steve wipes his hands and face with it. Then he just sits there and stares at Eddie for a moment.

"Thank you" the pixie says. And honestly Eddie is surprised, he didn't know they could communicate with humans.

"You're welcome" he responds, tapping his finger on the table, "I am sorry about the jar thing, I really didn't mean to hurt you"

Steve reached for Eddie's hand and placed his tiny hand on top of his finger, stopping its movement.

"Its okay" Steve smiles at him.

[nakylvr]

need to be watching comfort movies with manon and holding her like please let me take care of you my heart hurts

i stopped studying to write this up, it's probably trash but i needed to do something

— ANYTIME, ALWAYS 👑

warnings/tags: fluff, established relationship, f!reader

you knew something was off the moment you stepped inside the dorm for the girls after getting a text from manon. it was quiet with the rest of the girls gone for the award show, an oddity for the home that was buzzing always. you were given an extra key from sophia who explicitly told you that you were the only one to have an extra and to not let the staff find out. to be fair, you didn't really care though if the staff found out right now.

when you got the text from manon that read; can you come by? :(, with nothing else, you had a feeling something was wrong. you showed up at the dorm within twenty minutes.

you step into the living room, seeing manon sitting on the couch with the hood of her hoodie over her head watching, or trying, to watch a movie on the tv. she doesn't even notice your presence until you step closer to her. "hey, baby," you say softly, making her finally realize you're there and look up at you.

"hey," she says quietly. "how did you get in?"

"sophia gave me a key a while ago," you answer, sitting down next to her on the couch. "is everything okay?" you ask hesitantly.

"mm," manon hums, not moving. "just...things," she mumbles.

"okay..." your voice trails off as your eyes glance around. "do you want to talk about it?"

manon shakes her head, her eyes finally meeting yours with tears in her eyes. she opens her mouth to speak but you're wrapping your arms around her and pulling her into your embrace before she can get anything out. she puts her face in your neck, her arms grabbing your shirt tightly as if you would disappear.

"it's okay," you whisper softly. "it's okay," you reiterate a few times, your hand rubbing her back reassuringly. you can feel a few wet droplets hitting your skin, and you pull her closer to you, her body practically pressing against yours as she quietly cries into your neck.

you can hear her mumbling into your skin, and you can only make out a few words every now and then, but you can decipher it and figure out what she's saying. "look at me, baby," you say quietly, moving your hands to her face.

manon slowly lifts her head from your neck to look at you, her eyes slightly red from crying with a few tears still trailing down her cheeks. "i-i don-don't understand-"

"hey, hey," you interrupt her quickly, knowing exactly where it would lead. "i'm going to stop you right there. just breathe, okay? everything will be okay, you will be okay. i don't know what you're seeing, but ignore it. it's hard, i know. it's been hard, i know. but you're the strongest person i've ever met," you wipe the tears away with the pads of your thumbs. "i love you so much, the girls love you so much, everyone loves you. forget the small percentage of people who are jealous because you're talented and they aren't. you are so important to so many people. you mean the world to so many, to me. i love you so much."

listening to your words has more tears welling in manon's eyes as she nods along to what you're saying. "i love you too," she mumbles quietly.

you lean in and softly press your lips against hers, feeling her reciprocate instantly as her hands rest on your waist. you pull away for a moment, leaning your forehead on hers while wiping away the remaining tears. "is there anything you want to do?" you ask.

manon shakes her head lightly. "not really. i was watching a movie, but it's kinda trash."

you nod while giving a short hum. "okay. how about we put a good movie on and i'll order us something to eat?" you suggest.

"i'm okay with that," she replies.

"okay," you peck her lips, smiling slightly. you grab the remote off the table and grab manon's arm, pulling her down on top of you as you lay on your back along the couch. she giggles softly at the action, resting her head on your chest as you look through the movies listed on the tv. putting on a random one, you put the remote down and look back at manon, wrapping your arms around her. "i love you so much," you quietly speak.

"i love you too," she responds in the same voice. "please don't leave," she whispers.

"i won't," you immediately reply. "i promise." you kiss the top of her head. "you don't have to worry about that. i'm staying for as long as you'll keep me around."

"forever?" she murmurs.

"forever."

[clarkeybabey]

❝ playing my heartstrings like a rock star ❞

# summary; you're messing with his feelings and he doesn't understand why

# playlist; hey arthur!, arthur hill, think i'm in love with you, chris stapleton, please notice, christian leave

# word count; 1.9k

# note; i needed a happy ending my first fic on here cant be angst<3 I did not proofread this so sorry

The three boys sat in their sitting room, a comfortable silence lingering as they scrolled through their phones. "Arthur wants to know if we're going to come to the pub with him," George finally spoke up, looking to his friends and mentally crossing his fingers they'd agree. They deserved it after the week they've had.

Arthur chews the inside of his lip waiting for Chris' reply, not wanting to be the one to reject the invitation, but he knows you'll be there after your earlier text about going for drinks.

Chris shrugs laying his phone down next to him, "I don't see why not," both he and George stand, heading in the direction of their bedrooms to grab sweaters and shoes, assuming everyone is down.

When they disappear from sight, Arthur finds himself groaning, pressing his palms so hard to his closed eyes that he sees stars dotting his vision when he eventually opens them. It's not that he doesn't want to see you, he knows that when he does he can't resist the later idea of going home with you and he hates himself for it.

"They can't know," you always say, referring to your shared group of friends, "it'll throw off the dynamic, you can just come to my flat for the night on the weekend." You're grown adults, who cares what you get into when you're alone? He doubts anyone would really care as much as you think, but every time he tries to express that someone ends up with their feelings hurt, and 99.9% of the time they're his.

He makes his way to his room, spending more time than he cares to admit trying to find the cologne he knows is your favorite. His closet's a mess, but he finds the jumper you love to steal kicking himself for trying so hard as he throws it on over his old t-shirt. He stands in his bathroom pulling a baseball cap on to cover how flat his hair had become from lying on the couch for the last two hours.

Chris is yelling something from the kitchen about how he's worse than a woman about his looks, he can't find it in himself to care enough to think of a witty reply, instead just shoving his hands deeper into his pockets.

their bar of choice isn't far so they decide walking is the better and cheaper option, the walk is quick, and he stays a few paces behind his friends with music playing in his airpods as he gives himself a pep talk preparing to see you.

You sit at the bar with Becky and Arthur chatting about everything and nothing all at once, "You know, babe, I still need to get you on see it off, George and both Arthurs have nominated you now," she remarks, smirking as she brings her pint to her lips, you look to Arthur whos nodding along with her.

As the three of you chat, you're practically yelling over the people around you, "Let me know a date and we'll get it sorted," you smile, Arthur pipes up about needing the toilet and slips off his stool heading off in the direction of the restrooms.

As soon as he's out of sight, she scoots into the seat he once inhabited with her brows raised, "Anything new with you and Mr Hill?" You sigh, dreading having to answer that question, "There won't be anything new ever I don't think, I've made it clear how bad of an idea we are," your stomach turns at your own words, suddenly feeling a wave of nausea wash over you.

It wasn't like you didn't want anything other than to be with him, but everyone was so close and the what if's shadow how good the relationship could be.

What if something bad happens and you can't spend time together as a big group any longer? What if you couldn't film together? What if you had to listen to songs written about how bad of a girlfriend you were? She groans, her head falling onto her crossed arms, "You're so doubtful, darling. Give him a shot, he's such a sweet boy, especially to you." She sounded exactly like your mum when you told her the same thing after he came home with you one weekend. Sighing you continue, "I've never met someone like him-" You're cut off suddenly as rough hands slap over your eyes, "Guess who," George Clarke and his atrociously fake, heightened voice are quite unmistakable, you shove his hands away, giggling, and spin on your stool.

Your heart thumps against your chest, rattling your ribcage knowing there's no chance he and Chris showed up without the one person you've been waiting all week to see, sure enough there he is, though he's not even looking in your direction instead his eyes are glued to his phone screen with both headphones in, obviously not wanting to be here in the slightest.

You greet the boys not really paying any mind to anything being said, keeping your attention on Arthur the whole time. finally, once the four of your friends are distracted, you slip off your barstool and join him at the table he was sitting at alone, "You alright?" your question hangs in the air as you sink your teeth into the plush of your lower lip, "Fine, thanks," he replies dryly going out of his way to seem as uninterested as possible.

Scoffing, you snatch his phone from his hand, pausing whatever was playing on his Spotify, "Talk to me, please? I missed you." His eyes soften at your words as he fights with himself not to give in to you too easily, "missed you too," he mumbles as he picks at the skin on his fingers anxiously wanting to spew all the thoughts he's having about the two of you. Together.

Luckily for him, you beat him to it, "I wanna be with you," your words are lost to him at first as he sputters, not truly believing what he's just heard. He hates the way you can read his mind, "Like, seriously, I mean it, but we can't" he shakes his head bitterly, thinking this has to be some sort of sick joke you and Becky had strewn together.

"Do you know how many times I've heard that, y/n? I mean, seriously, tell it to someone else." He sounds so dismissive, and it hurts, but nothing hurts as bad as the sight of tears welling up in his pretty eyes. You just sit there, looking at him blankly with a lump forming in your throat, searching his eyes for something other than what he's said, but you can't seem to find it.

You scoff sliding his phone across the table back to him, "Right, sorry," you nod biting at the skin on the inside of your cheek, you turn on your heels and Arthur hates the look that you give him over your shoulder as you wrap your arms around yourself, like you see right through his attitude into the deeper side of things.

When you return George is wearing the glasses you mistakenly left in now-drunk Becky's purse, faking your accent in the worst way you've ever heard, "Those are prescription, you're gonna hurt your eyes," you sigh shaking your head, doing your best to smile. You pull them away from his face by the bridge, folding them to tuck into the v of your top, "Think 'm gonna get going," you mumble, avoiding everyone's eyes as the laughter dies down.

"So soonnnn?" Becky pouts jutting out her bottom lip for good measure, tucking your phone into your back pocket, murmuring something about how you have to film in the morning. Your friends say goodbye as you go around hugging everyone, when you get to Chris he pulls you in and whispers into your ear, "Take Arthur with you, please? He's bloody miserable." His breath is hot and riddled with the smell of beer as it fans across your face.

From across the room, Arthur feels his blood run hot as Chris whispers something to you and his hand lingers on your waist for longer than he deems friendly or comfortable, rolling his eyes he nibbles at the dry skin on his bottom lip until he begins to notice the familiar metallic taste of blood linger on his tongue. Nothing about this evening was going well and it just seems like lives trying to get back at him for something he doesn't even know he's done.

He was too busy in his own head to notice your presence just next to him, "C'mon, my uber's waiting," nearly falling off his stool as your words snapped him from the trance he was in, "Not up for it tonight," you scoff at his words, of course, he's thinking the opposite of what you had planned.

"Don't want you to fuck me, just wanna spend time with you," His brows raise involuntarily at your bluntness, a smirk playing on his lips, knowing you can't stay away just as much as he, boosts his confidence every damn time.

He doesn't find it in himself to reject you again, simply sliding off the still and interlocking your fingers, hoping to God every one of your friends is watching. As you make it outside your uber is in fact not there, he's about a mile out so you lean against the brick wall, Arthur's close proximity looming over you, "What was Chris on about?" Your drooping eyes shoot open, and the jealousy in his voice makes you smirk, seeing an opportunity to toy with him, just a bit,

"What's it to you," you shoot back, arms crossed over your chest he steps closer suddenly invading your space, his cologne which so happens to be your favorite begins to cloud your nose and mind as your chest rises and falls, adrenaline coursing through your veins. "You know exactly what it is to me, sweetheart."

His thumb and forefinger grip your chin forcing you to meet his eyes, the rings of his hands are cold against your heating face, "If 'm going home with you, I suggest you share." Your breath hitches at the dominance that's suddenly radiating off him, you fight the urge to let your eyes roll back into your head as his breath fans across your face, instead letting them fall closed once more.

You swallow, once more allowing eye contact, "He thought you were miserable and I should take you home with me." The smirk on your face makes Arthur regret ever telling Chris and George about how he'd wanted to spend more time with you. "I want to give this a shot," he scans your face waiting for you to remind him how you shouldn't but you don't say anything else.

"You mean it," his thumb rubs circles on the exposed skin of your hip, you nod, knowing words would betray you, "Need to hear you say it," he sounds breathless, looking at you with hopeful raised eyebrows.

"I wanna be your girlfriend-" his lips meet yours before you can even finish your thought, both hands cupping cupping your face. A wolf whistle comes from your immediate left and he pulls away but doesn't step back, shielding you from view, though you see over his shoulder as both George and Arthur hand Becky what look to be ten-pound notes.

[screamingcrows]

Winner of the first Zandicktober poll ^^ Notes: Omega's fashion choices stem from Dottore's youth. Tags: Dottore x reader, nothing explicit in this one, 1k words

Foliage crumbling should have drawn his attention, all instinct screaming for his neck to twist and eyes to search. Predators were abundant. It might have been foolhardy to leave the confines of Sumeru city armed with nothing but a dagger, and he suspected you were even worse off, dressed for getting a cup of coffee and not searching for a rumored wooden archway inscribed with faintly glowing runes.

Ideally, Zandik would have gone by himself, but you'd been persistent, and frankly, with all the trouble the Sages had been giving him as of late, arguing with you was far beneath him. In an effort to get your attention, Zandik kicked at a few loose stones littering the trodden path, listening intently to their clattering and thuds as a few fell off the ledge and into the mud below.

"Left at the next split, I won't come back to find you."

Bark cracking and ripping caught his attention, fighting the urge to whip around for less than a second before succumbing, fingers already pinching the bridge of his nose. This was going to take all day with you.

Normally, you would bounce around between oddities, picking up a rock here, taking a few leaves there, seeing a beetle, making a note, listening to birds, you were all over the place. But somehow, you managed to be even worse today. Either that, or Zandik's lack of sleep looking through old legends in the House of Daena was catching up. Your gasps of wonder were annoying all the same.

Today had been different. It felt like you'd been deliberately staying out of sight, skirting the periphery of his vision at best and calling his name loudly when you'd lost track of his movements at worst.

"Six times," Zandik held his breath, waiting for your eyes to meet his, "that's the number of instances where you've gotten lost today."

It was awful how you cocked your head like an innocent puppy, perhaps not innocent, but one who didn't know better at least. When a gust of wind had passed, shaking a few nuts loose, three of which you promptly collected, Zandik realized with great dismay that you weren't going to say anything.

Utterly insufferable. If you weren't the only person willing to assist him without asking too many questions, he would've rid himself of your presence long ago.

"It's a beautiful day is it not?" How you could still manage to smile was perhaps a more frustrating conundrum than the fairy tale creatures supposedly inhabiting the northern parts. "It'd be a shame not to enjoy it."

For a moment, Zandik swore he saw red, patience all but decayed, "It would be a shame to waste daylight!" He'd all but screamed, so how were you still smiling? "But of course, someone as moronic and dispensable wouldn't understand the concept of wastefulness!"

It took some effort, feeling seconds away from his teeth snapping under the force of his bite, to refrain from letting his gaze wander towards the rustle that drew your attention. You deserved both the unease of the wilds and the full weight of his gaze, one an acclaimed terror among the Akademiya's students.

Predators were abundant, yes, but they were shy, they'd learned what humans were capable of, especially in groups.

Mere seconds of his thoughts wandering and Zandik stumbled backwards. How you'd gotten close enough that he could feel your breath ghost along his cheeks was a mystery.

It was too difficult, his own lips pulling back in a sneer at the sight of your tongue wetting yours.

As fresh dew, your voice was crisp, "You're that mad? What about the whole charade of 'being responsible for myself' you gave me," Zandik felt heat rise, pushing down the urge to tug at the collar of his shirt when you continued' "are you really so worried about me?"

He'd snapped out a 'no' before his heel could even hit the ground, making sure to invade your space. How dare you challenge a finality with such conviction? Either the air was particularly humid today or Zandik would have to admit the truth of your words to himself.

Reluctantly, he'd admired your blatant disregard for established dogmas from the moment you first sought him out, but used against a cornerstone of his perceived self?

"-use this," despite the earnest smile on your lips, Zandik recognized the smug satisfaction lurking just beneath the surface.

Mercenaries had been active on the paths not far from there, screaming would most likely alert them, meaning Zandik had to instead bite down hard on his tongue and pray the frustration boiling in his blood would settle quick. This had all been planned, and he hadn't noticed.

Another pebble was kicked down the ledge, visualizing your head in its place. Too busy navigating the terrain, keeping you in check, and watching for dangers, he'd missed the greatest of them all directly in front of him. Poisoned fangs behind upturned lips, hypnotizing eyes under thick lashes, and an outstretched hand, wholly bereft of claws.

Instead, a piece of leather lay in your palm, offered up as sweet bait to lure him close enough for the kill. A hellish, carnivorous plant was what you were.

This was enough, he decided, coating his words in venom as he smacked the leash away, "Do you think this is funny? Do you even think?" A satisfied huff left him, pleased by the sight of you kneeling down.

Some of your amusement faded as you picked it up and wiped off the mud. "Loosen up at bit, will you?"

"Loosen up?" It was stupid, Zandik knew it was, but it didn't stop his voice from raising, "You are being insufferable, I have half a mind to-"

The forest held its breath, eerily quiet while Zandik's eyes widened, heat rising to his cheeks with the brush of your fingers against his skin. Swallowing was difficult with how tight the collar looked around your neck, imagining it pressing against his own instead.

"Half a mind to what?" Your near purring voice wasn't helping the situation either.

Zandik briefly caught himself glancing down at how your fingers wrapped around the leather, trying desperately to get the imagery of you tugging at it out of his mind.

He took it with a still hand, forcing himself not to follow the leash to where it connected securely to the collar around your neck.

"Aren't you happy? No more getting angry because I wander off."

[tbshorts]

Starly turns a tiny cowlick into a powerfully proud pompadour

✨ Bidoof ✨ ... and Bibarel, I guess.

Kricketot and Kricketune are good, if unspectacular, costuming

Video scripts below the cut

Starly:

Why hello there, Gen 4 Pidgey, what is your deal?

Well, Starly isn't much of anything, it's a fairly literal translation of a starling, albeit with a quite compelling graphic design on the face and a good use of that one white tailfeather and the little cowlick on the head to give it some uniqueness.

Staravia mostly doubles down on those ideas, hardening the face mask into a star and REALLY curling that cowlick into a spitcurl that, along with the severe expression, gives it some strong confrontational energy.

And all of that comes to a head culminating naturally and very smoothly in Staraptor, which moves basically all of the design detail to the head and face. Its face crest now spreads out in sharp spikes, the eyes are red and focused and serious, and it's grown what's always seemed to me like a Bōsōzoku hairstyle, that particular brand of youth counterculture so embedded in Japanese pop culture. The blood red that it's tipped with gives it some much needed color and more menace, almost as though it's daring you to comment on its silly hairdo.

I feel the rest of the design is a bit neglected here, it could use some more detail, but all in all, it's effective, it looks powerful, it works.

Grade: A

Bidoof:

You know, if Bidoof didn't evolve, I might genuinely put it in S-tier.

Every generation needs its Rattata, right, a mostly weak, somewhat cute but usually quickly discarded Normal type with an early evolution, entirely designed to be left behind. Bidoof is that for Gen 4, but… who could ever abandon this precious child? Look at him! I struggle to even really articulate it, because its sweetness is so obvious.

Bidoof's shape language is very simple, all circles and rounded shapes, which then contrasts with the sharp rectangles of its teeth. And that enormous overbite combined with the tiny little red clown nose and those sweet little button eyes that are just a little too far apart… god it looks precious. It's so fucking cute! What dark alchemy did they pour into this beast to make it so fucking appealing??? If you can put him in a PC box and leave him without feeling guilty, your soul will not see Heaven!

The evolution, though… I mean Bibarel is fine, it's cute enough, but between that weird eye mask, the pinprick eyes which just don't work on it and the loss of a lot of its wooly fluffiness… some of the magic is lost.

It's still cute, it's still good, but it's just not Bidoof anymore.

Grade: A

Kricketot:

I don't usually give bug types much attention because, well, they tend to be weak and I don't like their type matchups, but Cricketot is a deceptively adorable little thing. With its wide collar and markings on the chest, it looks like it's wearing a fancy olde timey outfit, and depending on if you see the round shape on its face as a mouth or a nose it looks various degrees of awkward and shy. The color scheme is maybe a bit drab, but what a dapper little gentleman.

This all comes very much to a head in Cricketune, with its big imperious moustache the wings hanging off its body like fancy coat tails. Going by its pokédex entries it's supposed to evoke the idea of a virtuoso composer, playing on the idea of grasshoppers and crickets as violinists. And, yeah, I can see that idea. I think maybe the markings on the body could have evoked white tie dress a bit more explicitly, or maybe have its antennae shaped like musical notes or something, but, no, yeah, I buy it.

As a design, this is… perfectly effective. It's not exciting, but it's a fun idea and it works… well enough.

Grade: B

[riddles-n-games]

Hey guys, I've been seeing another rift going on in the fandom regarding TGG and TIG characters, so I've decided to make a statement that can hopefully make things more cohesive.

I understand that not everyone likes the new spin-off and honestly, I'm considering just stopping after GU. Personally, I don't have anything against the characters of TGG but my problem is that they sound too much like our old mains. However, that's not their fault. It's the author's. There's nothing wrong with JLB wanting to expand the TIG universe but it is problematic when you are repeating the same character arcs of the old characters that are also present and interacting with these new mains. The problem that we face is the fact while even in The Naturals there are similar characters, they are divided by different series. However, that is not going on here with TIG and TGG. TGG is a continuation of TIG and our TIG characters are still present. Heck, one of our old mains is a player and a love interest here to one of the new mains. And therein lies the issue. When you have a connected series, it's important to have distinguished characters with different voices, not carbon copies.

What I expected for TGG characters was that she would move from the character tropes we've seen already in the series and come up with new ones. I mean, come on, she's a psychology major, we bring that up so often but what's the point when she keeps going in circles and never brings up anything new? I pointed a lot of this out pre-read because I already correctly guessed where this was going within just a few pages of reveal. Don't get me wrong, if she wanted to, she could do it but it doesn't feel like she has new plans or plots. Be honest with yourselves and don't just praise because she's your favorite author. You can be a reader, a fan, and a respectful critic all at the same time. Don't lower your expectations just because they can't deliver every time.

The trouble is that when you go back to TFG, in the acknowledgments, she herself wrote she wasn't sure there was going to be a third book. And now look, suddenly two books were announced a month or two after she released the last book of the trilogy which introduced our mains and not the most fashionably. I do believe she had ideas but I don't think they were the best fleshed out. You have to realize that just reading TGG, how many of you recognized the obvious plots, the romantic subplots, the character arcs, and even the semi-hidden plots just getting to the halfway point? And how many of you said, hey, wait a minute, we've had this plotline before? You did, didn't you? I want to give Jennifer the benefit of the doubt but I truly think she is in over her head because I don't believe she quite thought that this is how long the series would go.

In fact, I think that she is making more trouble for herself in trying multi POV for this new series when really I think it should have just been Gray taking over. It would have allowed us to see how he's grown especially after the heartache and mental health issues he's had to go through to get here. It felt like the obvious next step, even the summary for TGG made it sound like that. However, the only thing that seems new to me is the hypersexual atmosphere which also makes no sense to me because teens may go through attraction but that doesn't mean they're horny all the time and anyone who's gone through puberty can attest to that. So I ask again, like one reviewer on Goodreads put, were the romantic moments in the room with us? 12 hours is not love or romance, it's lust, that's it. Couldn't summarize it clearer. If she wanted to make it better, it could have been that she made the book stretch over a series of weeks which is why I wonder what the heck will happen to any character development if this book series is done in like 3 days?

As I said, a lot of things feel very repetitive, the plot, word choice, thought processes, quotes and sayings, etc. We are in a loop. She's in a loop. I think that the best thing JLB could have done is leave TIG alone for a few years after TFG, make a new series or whatever works outside this series she wanted to, give herself time to truly see if she has new stories to tell for TIG by writing a spin-off and then come back to give us that content. Because it's really telling how forced things have been in the last two books, even here with GU and I really think this empire is toppling. As they say, quality over quantity and thoughtful than full of thoughts that are just a variation of one another. That's what makes me think more and more she should have left it at TFG.

Thank you for reading and I hope this gives a new perspective that can help you see some things more clearly.