#so it CAN'T be unreliable
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Drives me crazy that Katniss will be called an unreliable narrator (when she's not) but Coriolanus Snow skates by without anyone saying boo about him being an unreliable narrator.
Like all it takes is being written in 3rd person? Our girl gets called unreliable for having opinions and whiny nepo baby Snow isn't for the exact same thing??? And his opinions contribute to continued violence in Panem???
Oh but it's in limited 3rd, it's soooooo different. 3rd person is always so reliable! 🙄
#the hunger games#katniss everdeen#coriolanus snow#to be clear even if written in 1st person tbosas likely wouldn't have an unreliable narrator either#my point is that you should always be aware of what you're reading and what perspective the narrative is taking#whether that's first or 3rd#and it's only unreliable if you have reason to doubt that the events are not be relayed to you accurately#otherwise it's just an opinion!!!!#none of which can be “true” or “false”#so it CAN'T be unreliable#spring ranting about the misuse and overuse of “unreliable narrator” again
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I love the idea of parentified Tim Drake.
Bruce loses Jason and isn't ready for another son. Tim sees this, he acknowledges this, and he's okay with it. He's never really been a son to his own parents so he wouldn't expect the neighbor to start taking care of him.
When Tim's parents come home, they're not mean or anything, they just don't baby him. They treat him as an equal--as someone who knows what he's doing--and that's fine, because he does.
He's been taking care of himself for as long as he could remember, so when people try to treat him like a child, it angers him more than anything. The way that they assume just because he's young he can't take care of himself.
Tim's been to galas before, though. He's talked with Bruce and the man never treated him like he was incompetent. Tim's parents would ask Tim questions about the company so that he could recite them to Bruce. It was a song and dance he was well versed in, but he didn't really mind, not when Bruce looked at him with such a fondness in his eyes, always saying, "That's really interesting. You know a lot about your parents' company. Did it take you a while to memorize it?"
And he'd shake his head and say, "No," because that was the correct response, even if it was wrong.
Even if he had flashcards about Drake industries and kept up to date with perception of the company and the stock value and who the shareholders were and what they wanted and what they were willing to do to get that.
It wasn't one bout of work. It wasn't a single night of studying to make sure he passed the test, but a lifetime memorizing information and then rememorizing it when it changed.
So when Jason died and Bruce started getting bad, Tim knew what to do.
He was used to long term projects where it would be years before he actually got to see any result. He was used to seeing adults as people who he was responsible for, though he had to admit that the responsibility had never been that big before.
When Tim showed up at Bruce's doorstep, he was young, just like both of Bruce's other sons, but his eyes lacked that sort of naïveté and childlike wonder that should have accompanied the baby fat which persisted on his cheeks.
That's what made Alfred pause at the door.
There was a kid. A black haired, blue eyed kid. He was young, like both of Bruce's sons. His lack of naïveté was something he shared with both children, only Dick's had been a fresh sort of loss, one he was still mourning, and Jason's naïveté was something long-forgotten and left to rot. It was a feeling you smelt when you left the windows closed for too long.
Still there, still somewhere, but not quite right and never able to be found, only stumbled upon in rare moments of something that could almost be called joy.
Tim's naïveté is something he left at home. He keeps it on a shelf in his bedroom, something to look at when the going gets rough, but something too fragile to be held.
Maybe that's why Alfred lets him in.
That day, Tim meets Bruce--not Brucie or Batman, just Bruce.
He meets a man who's hair's grown long, but not long enough for it to have been intentional. There's grease in his hair and bags under his eyes and you can tell that he's been biting his nails.
He's clean shaven, because that's what people can see when he wears the cowl.
Tim takes a deep breath before walking into the room.
Bruce doesn't move, but Tim doesn't doubt that the man notices him.
The room smells like alcohol--a smell he recognizes from when his own father is home, though he can't say he's ever remembered it smelling so concentrated.
"Hello," he says, when he's right in front of Bruce, "My name is Tim, and I'm here to help."
Bruce doesn't say anything, but he doesn't need to.
Tim talks to him, slowly distracting the man as he brings him to the bathroom, first trying to put a toothbrush in his hand and then, when that doesn't work, brushing the man's teeth himself.
Tim draws a bath for him and grabs him a new pair of clothes, and tells him to take his bath, only leaving the room when Bruce finally stands up and starts undressing.
Tim takes care of the sheets, puts new ones on the bed, and goes to the kitchen, to find Alfred already making food.
The butler asks him if he's staying to eat but Tim just insists that he's not hungry and brings the food up to Bruce.
He knocks on the bathroom door, and when Bruce doesn't respond, he opens it.
Bruce is sitting in the bath, knees to his chest, crying, but not otherwise moving.
So Tim rolls up his sleeves and washes Bruce's hair, then keeps him company as Bruce washes himself.
Bruce finds it easier to get things done when there's someone else in the room--talking to him, giving him something else to think about.
Tim talks as he gets Bruce out of the bath and hand him a towel. He talks as Bruce dries himself off and gets dressed. He talks as Bruce eats the lunch that Alfred made him and he talks until he gets Bruce back to bed.
He leaves, voice hoarse from talking so much after living in an empty home.
He comes back the next day and does it all again.
Alfred doesn't know what he should do. He knows, of course, that Tim is young and shouldn't be taking care of someone at that age.
He also knows that Bruce is in no state to take care of himself and all of Alfred's attempts have been in vain.
Tim's talking was what got Bruce to eat his first actual meal in a week--not just popcorn and protein bars. Tim's presence is what got Bruce to bed.
Tim was what was making things better, so while Alfred knew he should put a stop to it, he couldn't quite make himself do so.
Instead, he started doing little things.
He invited Tim to stay for meals.
Invited Tim to stay the night.
It took a while, but eventually, Tim started living in the manor.
One month, there's only ghosts in the house, the next, three beating hearts.
One month, Bruce can only think of his son, the next, he's calling Tim his dad.
One day, Bruce crosses the line as Batman, and the next day, he has a Robin.
You know how things go from there, some things are lost, others are gained. Some things stay the same, others do nothing but change.
Bruce and Tim get better, but Bruce still thinks of Tim as his dad.
No one really pays it much heed, though. That's just how they are--nothing really to note.
It's Dick, though, who starts noticing something's off, because Tim never sleeps.
When Dick was first adopted, he had nightmares.
He'd remember what it was like to watch someone fall. He did not watch it from the ground, but from the balcony, holding onto a trapeze, moments away from completing his own jump.
It took him months to finally come to Bruce, tell him about his nightmares.
Though he was never told the details, he knew it was the same for Jason. He pushed Bruce away, insisted that he'd be fine on his own, but eventually started letting him in.
He never asked, but assumed it was the same for Tim. When Tim couldn't sleep, when he had nightmares, when he couldn't stand to sleep in an empty bed, he'd go to Bruce like the rest of them did.
It was a reasonable thing to assume, and it was a belief he only questioned when he got up in the middle of the night to get water.
That same night, Bruce had a nightmare. Bruce knocked on Tim's door. Bruce slept in Tim's bed.
Tim ran his hands through Bruce's hair, promising that everything would be okay until Bruce fell asleep.
Now that he knew to look for it, Dick started noticing even more. The way Tim knew Bruce's favorite food and the way Tim took care of the man's company so that Bruce had the freedom to do what he wanted. The way Bruce turned to Tim when he had a problem or wanted to be told he did something well.
It was wrong.
It was wrong and Dick was trapped because he hadn't noticed it earlier. Why didn't he notice it earlier?
Tim came to him first, asked him to become Robin again. Dick knew about Tim from the start. Dick was there for the entirety of his stay as Robin.
He was there.
So why didn't he noticed?
Jason sees him panicking on patrol and Dick just breaks.
He breaks down in his brother's arms--arms he can feel tightening around him as he tells him everything.
They talk about it a lot after that. Jason starts noticing things too.
They bring in Babs and start making a file--compiling evidence because there's always the urge to just ignore it. To acknowledge that Bruce is doing better than ever.
But that requires them to forget about Tim.
To let the boy take care of Bruce and not live his own life.
Because, now that they're looking, they can see how lonely it is.
How he doesn't have any school friends--he had to drop out to take over WE.
How he's grown apart from Young Justice--always leaving when Bruce is in trouble or needs someone to talk to, not able to bear the idea of what Bruce might do if left alone.
Because Tim knows he'll break.
Bruce needs someone to take care of him, and Tim exists to fulfill the needs of others, regardless of how much it takes from him.
So Tim goes and helps his son. He never talks about how tired he is. He has sleeping pills to fix that, and maybe he can't take them because what if Bruce has a nightmare and then he can't wake up Tim--it's unimaginable.
Dick and Jason notice, though, and they try to bring it up with him, but they're not sure how.
Not when Tim's gut reaction is just to start taking care of them, too. Easing their worries, telling them that everything's okay.
They want so bad to insist that it's not okay, that this is going to ruin Tim and he can't spend his whole life like this.
But they want even more to be held. To be granted that unconditional love and care that comes with being Tim's child.
So they try to say something--anything.
But then, Tim smiles. He opens his arms to them and asks about their days.
And they they try to tell him that not everything's okay, but Tim is smiling, and they try, but they can't say a thing.
#parentified tim drake#parentified child#tim drake and bruce wayne#tim drake#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#fic ideas#i would write this immediatelly#if i didn't already have so many incomplete works#so it's just a drabble for now#drabble#dc drabble#unreliable narrator#early loss of innocence as a tragedy#sleep as a metaphor for safety and comfort and being well loved#if this inspires someone to create#please link me to the creation#because this is an idea that i need to be consumed whole by#robin tim drake#unhealthy boundaries#codependency#codependent bruce wayne#the sleeping part was inspired by a tumblr post which i know i've reblogged but can't find for the life of me#unhealthy relationships#this was longer than i thought it would be oops#my writing
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hey wait a minute
so it's the start of AvA part 7 and Chosen and Dark are talking, right? and the former has this vision of terrible things happening if they don't stop the latter, right here and now.
they see the ViraBots descending on the last remnants of stick kind with Dark as their leader (or Lord if you will. ha ha) and i, trusting viewer, took their assessment as reliable*. we JUST saw Dark getting uncomfortably violent in earlier scenes after all
but
however
notwithstanding
unless Chosen has demonstrable prophetic powers (like how Orange has** in the past seen things currently happening (horizontally-prophetic let's call it: seeing faraway in the current time) (there's probably a better word for this but let's move on)), how did they know this was definitely what Dark was leading up to?
** ⬆ examples of Orange horizontally-prophesizing in AvM episode 11, SkyBlock (unconfirmed but referenced as, "uh? well maybe??? maybe i didn't think about it yet-" (abridged quote from AvG react video)) (op will die /j /extremely pos if this is used again in AvA 11 (HAH they'd both be episode 11 (op just giggled maniacally)))
Dark doesn't even have his control bracelets on.
because Chosen didn't know about them yet.
because this is not a prophetic vision.
Chosen is just that... reactive. what was it. @compressedrage (hi o/ ) had a good wording let me find it. yeah i guess it was reactionary
the ONLY time we've seen them stop to think things through is actually just a terrified anxiety breakdown while they stand there, frozen, imagining the worst, until they snap out of it JUST in time to impact their reality.
but with no time left for debate. reasoning. they assumed Dark was beyond reasoning from the moment he showed off what his device could do............. because they were beyond reasoning out of fear.
<community post version>
#okay im not sure about that final phrase after the dots but it sounded epic so i kept it in#*im trying to call up the phrase “unreliable narrator” here#that chosen's instincts weren't accurate. obviously Dark's weapons CAN harm stick figures deeply...#...and when push comes to shove they do (a self-fulfilling prophecy if you will?)...#...but let's look at the ViraBot gun and the portals. one direct-connects (hehe) to IP addresses.#keep in mind Dark didn't know about Alan's new buddies chilling on his PC#the others go to YouTube; Twitter; Reddit; Google; Twitch; Wikipedia; Discord.#these aren't places where stick figures live at all. in some corners of them but not primarily. there's a city RIGHT THERE-!#-but he doesn't care about it. im saying obv it's still not awesome of him to target human-centric websites either-#-did he change tho? if chosen listened long enough to hear him out? was his plan to go back to when cho was having fun too?#i can't know for sure but i sure am having fun thinking about it#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava the chosen one#ava the dark lord#ava orange#ava the second coming#subpixels
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Referring to Arya's development in Braavos as "brief descriptions" when her AFfC/ADwD chapters are almost entirely dedicated to showing us her training is...certainly a choice. Doing so to claim that Sansa has the more detailed learning arc? Pure clownery. You'd never guess from this response that the original post was about detailing Arya's training with the FM (using quotes from the book!) and makes no mention of Sansa anywhere. Notably this response provides no evidence from the books and makes objectively false claims; nowhere across five books is Sansa mentioned to have a grasp of High Valyrian but, of course, Sansa has to be handed every skill that Arya has without any page space dedicated to learning it. I know this is a wild concept, but Arya exists as her own character and not everything about her story can be applied to Sansa.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9c9dd8889e05b48ea8692f543326776a/077fe0c7e773663b-9a/s540x810/e77de9fedd2bcfbd429187c9edba2e1e739d536e.jpg)
#arya stark#asoiaf#anti sansa stans#really wish people would stop handing Arya's development over to Sansa just because they think it /fits/ her better#mind you I had to streamline quotes from Arya's chapters and restrict them to AFFC/ADWD to avoid the post getting too long#compare that to /Sansa is learning from LF/ as the catch all /proof/ of Sansa's development and it's clear whose is more detailed#Sansa's development is intentionally vague because she's being manipulated and is an unreliable narrator#while Arya's training was so important that wanting to show it is one of the reasons George trashed the time skip#Arya's development is objectively more detailed and better defined then Sansa's and I would be happy to go quote for quote on that 🤷🏾♀️#people can't admit that the skillset they project onto Sansa is actually Arya's because then they'd have no idea what to theorize for her#one step outside of familiar tropes and archetypes and people get scared 🙄
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Being a Curly fan (especially pre-crash) is so complicated because I want to give him a hug and pat him on the head and ogle his chest and tell him he deserves a better friend than Jambiree but I also want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him back and forth while screaming at him for being a USELESS FUCKING DUMBASS-
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#captain curly#mouthwashing fandom#mouthwashing discourse#character analysis#he's such a sweetheart. he's a terrible leader. he's trying his best. he failed his crew. he's means well. he's extremely unreliable.#he deserved better. anya should not forgive his ass. he's a victim. he's an enabler. he's not as bad as people say. he's still not good.#i will defend him. i won't defend everything (i will hold him accountable for some shit). i love him so much. he kind of sucks.#curly mouthwashing#he deserved better#but not EVERYTHING#anya should still kick his ass but not while he's disabled because he learned his lesson by that point#and hurting a severely disabled person who can't fight back disturbs me and feels gross as hell so i won't advocate for that#anyway i have so many feelings about curly you don't understand me#i will defend curly but that doesn't mean i don't think he did nothing wrong or that he doesn't deserve some consequences
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✨❤️ Faith and Max | [ 🔍 AU ] ❤️✨
In my heart, I have but one desire And that one is you No other will do
Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links
#happy 3 year anniversary to faith and max!! and to those who celebrate lmao#I can't believe how much drawing and sharing my art of these goobers have changed my life in such a massive way#how many of y'all that are so dear to me have I only had the honor of getting to know because I decided to post these guys together one day#I wouldn't have made all the friends I did since. I wouldn't have kept creating or sharing all the things I have since#if it weren't for them none of y'all would know me#I'm just so unbelievably grateful for how much my life has improved and how much happier I've become these past 3 years#and how much they've played a massive part in it#and ofc all of you. my closest besties especially. thank you for being so goddamn kind and supportive constantly#it means the world to me. it helps me and motivates me and inspires me so much more than y'all will ever know#and I can never thank y'all enough for that#I know this is all meant to be silly and fun to celebrate the very first time I drew them together#but it's just as much a way for me to celebrate just how much has saved me since#and show my appreciation to all the wonderful things in my life worth loving and living for#my art#faith and max#oc x canon#the outer worlds#captain of the unreliable#vicar max#maximillian desoto
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man. derek is such an interesting character in season 1, especially when you can look at him through the lens of having seen the whole show, because he's like an unreliable narrator for scott, even though he's not a narrator for the show.
the thing is, derek in season 1 is the primary vehicle for werewolf lore. as new viewers, we're reliant on his character to explain to us the rules and conceits of the genre, but once you've seen the whole show, that role is no longer necessary. but for scott, in season 1, derek is the sole source of werewolf intel. derek is werewolf jesus. which means that everything scott initially learns about being a werewolf is filtered through the Derek Hale Trauma Matrix, and neither of them know it.
for example: in 1x05, derek tells scott that pain is what keeps you human (which is a mantra that gets repeated and referenced a ton over the course of the rest of the show). scott has been a werewolf for all of five seconds, and has no choice but to take the word of this obviously much more knowledgeable werewolf. in that way, derek operates as a kind of narrator for scott, giving him information and context he couldn't really get any other way. but it's unreliable info. don't get me wrong - derek isn't trying to be an unreliable narrator; he's not aware of how much his life experience has colored his understanding of his own species. it's just that...well...derek is a twenty-something with the kind of trauma that eats other trauma for breakfast. of course he would say that pain is what keeps you human. at this point in the show, pain is all he has.
this is the same guy who, in the next episode, says this:
DEREK: You getting angry? That's your first lesson. You want to learn how to control this, how to shift-- you do it through anger, by tapping into a primal animal rage, and you can't do that with her around. SCOTT: [defensively] I can get angry. DEREK: Not angry enough. This is the only way that I can teach you.
except we know, and scott quickly learns (in that very same episode, in fact), that this isn't true. anger doesn't work for everyone, and it doesn't work for scott, who's not an angry person. the things that work for derek won't work for all werewolves - but how would derek know that? he's never had to teach someone to be a werewolf before. he's not actually werewolf jesus.
to scott, derek is the only trustworthy source of information on being a werewolf, because he's the only werewolf scott knows. and from derek's perspective, everything he knows about being a werewolf must be true, because it's true for him. derek is the narrator, and it's only as his backstory unfolds that the viewers, and scott, learn just how much his history and trauma have obscured the reality of things, even for derek himself.
pain is not what makes you human. it's what makes derek human. because the moments in derek's life that stand out to him most are all tinged with tragedy. mercy killing his high school girlfriend. losing his entire family in a house fire. the death of his sister. for derek, to be human is to be in pain, and to be angry about that is the only way to be in control. after all, he doesn't have anyone teaching him otherwise.
#stuff#derek hale#teen wolf#scott mccall#teen wolf meta#tw meta#derek hale meta#tw#expanded thoughts from a throwaway message sent in twl#hoo boy this took some brainpower to get into a coherent post with a logical series of sentences#my head hurts#i had a headache before though. i took ibuprofen in the middle of typing this post#so ironically my head actually hurts less now than it did when i started typing this#i literally saw the meta mondays thing on my dash AS i opened up tumblr to type this#and i thought about saving it for the pain day#but that is a whole entire month away and i can't delay gratification like that#anyway unreliable narrator derek i love you and im so sorry they forced you to be the narrator in your own tragedy#'pain is what makes you human' girl. animals feel pain. what do you mean. pain is one of the only things that ISNT only human
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Something I've been thinking about is how Patrick O'Brian manages so skillfully to write characters whose actions contradict their beliefs, which I think is honestly a big part of why his characters feel so real. Mostly with Stephen and Jack—e.g., and perhaps most notably, Stephen has notably leftist sympathies (honestly I have no idea how to characterize his politics in period terms) who nonetheless becomes very comfortable with his rise to the landed gentry, while Jack is a card-carrying Tory who much of the time sympathizes far more with working class sailors and farmers than with the upper classes—but I'm sure he does it to a lesser degree with some of his minor characters (James Dillon, while perhaps not precisely minor, comes to mind), and I love that he's able to do that, especially the way in which he embeds it in the narrative. We see how they're all unreliable narrators of themselves; we understand how they want to be seen and how that does and doesn't coincide with the reality, but most importantly, this isn't presented as something reprehensible, just as a part of their own humanity. They are not their expectations for themselves, but they don't need to be those expectations to be beloved.
#stephen is especially guilty of this and i think it's very interesting how he thinks of himself versus how he acts#which is probably an essay on its own#but i do think that this is another point he and jack make a fun foil on#(for jack this manifests much less explicitly but i think it's definitely still there)#i can't think of other characters atm besides james dillon#(who okay. his actions don't contradict his beliefs exactly but there is a weird and complex relationship between them)#though i do suspect that there are probably more#idk i've been thinking about this a lot because o'brianizing hornblower has brought to the forefront#how different those two authors treat internal/external narratives#patrick o'brian is kind of like yeah they don't really line up but that's okay that's just what it's like to be a person#while for hornblower and cs forester it's like the internal narrative is so unbelievably unreliable and negative#but the external narrative also seems to be resoundingly positive#(which is probably why. in my humble opinion having watched two episodes of it. the tv show is much more Fun)#writing hornblower in o'brian format is just like wow there is no weirdness going on did i write him wrong#but no it's hornblower he just sounds so much more normal without the 24/7 mental gymnastics#perce rambles#aubreyad#The Creative Endeavor and other aubreyad nonsense
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I usually want to crush akane like a bug (as a sign of love) but some panels make me go "I hope you explode" (again as a sign of love) about Aoi.
NOT ONLY WOULD TALK HELP, BUT IT WOULD SOLVE HALF OF YOUR INSECURITIES BABYGIRL
#I am dying in the heat so i can't be too productive but i got this bug in the brain#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#aoi akane#akane aoi#aoiaoi#since this is akane's mental image and she is adorable i guess#akane is such an unreliable narrator idk if she extended her hands towards him or if he was hallucinating at the time#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun
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if i'm being entirely honest i find the term "spiritual psychosis" annoying at best. it makes me feel as though i, as someone with schizoaffective disorder, need to work extra hard to "prove" my spiritual beliefs are valid.
here's the thing. my spirituality has always been and will always be flavored and colored by being schizoaffective. even when i was an atheist i could not untangle the two. there's never going to be a way for me to know where the line is drawn between my spiritualism and my psychosis. for example i will probably never shake the idea that i died and was resurrected, and that event holds SIGNIFICANT spiritual meaning for me, even on antipsychotics, even when i can recognize that yes, it's probably the remains of a delusion.
so please tell me, why is it anyone else's business if i incorporate that into my religious practices? it harms no one and gives me one more reason to rejoice. if it started causing actual problems, putting me in danger, causing me distress, bringing along disorganized thinking or anything of the sort, that's when it would be time for me to get help. but really and truly i would not want random people im not close with to tell me to get that help, especially if their only clues into my mental state come from my spiritual practices. i am not a dog to be taken to the vet. sometimes people are psychotic and we exist in your communities and we have religious beliefs and you have GOT to suck it up and allow space for us, however our conditions affect us and our practices.
it's also just. buries my face in my hands. you can just say psychosis, you don't need a special term for it. again it just makes me feel like i'm being singled out and not being taken seriously because there's a long LONG history of psychotic/schizospec people having our mental illnesses used as reason to disregard us. please just mind your business.
#cadaver speaks#mostly prompted by me looking into godspousing after a very interesting experience#and seeing someone basically say most godspouses are experiencing spiritual psychosis#which read more to me as a complaint about how other people practice than actual concern for people's mental health#do i know whether i was visited by dionysus or just have silly silly brain chemicals? NOPE#and it's entirely fucking futile to try to figure it out because you can't prove any gods exist and i'm an unreliable narrator!#so i have to ask myself: what will make me happy?#should i deny myself the joy of worship just because i drew the short straw and got saddled with schizoaffective?#or should i say fuck it and do what will make me happy?#i want to live! i beg to live!! i am wrenching the fullness of my feeble human life from nonpsychotics' hands!!!#obligatory disclaimer that if you're psychotic/schizospec and you find the term spiritual psychosis useful that's fine#anyway. society will not be free until the lunatics are free from our chains and shackles. or something#mad pride#schizophrenia#schizoaffective#actually schizophrenic#actually schizoaffective#actually schizospec#spirituality#paganism#witchcraft#mental health#if anyone willfully misinterprets what i'm saying you owe me one thousand usd#if it doesn't make sense reread the post or move on. good Bye
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something that far too few people--including other autistics--acknowledge about higher-support autism is the defenselessness that comes with it, namely when you don't have a high-quality caregiver or support system.
so many people only talk about the impairments that come with low-support autism, the things that you can easily cope with through self-accommodation, sensory aids, and understanding; so little attention goes out to those of us who can't help ourselves, at least not enough to remain physically safe and healthy on our own.
I'm visibly dirty (dermatitis neglecta) because I have anxiety attacks when I try to task-switch and bathe. nearly a quarter of My teeth are decayed because I go months without brushing. at the time of writing, I've lost over 3% of My body weight in the past month due to inertia preventing Me from eating more than once a day.
I can't simply use a schedule or set alarms, because I end up not acknowledging either of them (except to turn the latter off). the "simple fixes" that low-support autistics recommend offer little-to-no improvement for Me.
that's ultimately the difference between low-support autism and medium/high-support autism: someone with LSN can accommodate themself enough to stay afloat, whereas someone with MSN/HSN literally needs another person to do some or all things for them.
because of this, people whose caregivers believe they don't need assistance (My situation), believe their autism can be disciplined away, are too careless or busy to help them, and those who don't have and can't easily access a caregiver at all are left in a totally isolated position.
at best, either our caregivers' attitudes or our autism miraculously improve and we're able to get our needs met. at worst, we continuously suffer until we experience a medical crisis from the neglect or seriously injure (if not kill) ourselves for the same reason.
this isn't to say that autism--even higher-support autism--is all horrible, but I really do wish that more autistic advocacy focused on relieving this helplessness, rather than just the self-advocacy of low-support individuals.
#autism#actually autistic#neglect#ableism#I don't know where I can put this in the basic post but we also can't just call CPS/APS#government systems regularly neglect disabled people. many of us are no safer in government care than we are with our abusers#personally I'm a legally an adult and 'competent' so I would be allowed to choose whether I was removed or not. but I wouldn't want to be!#I don't want 'temporary housing!' I want an actual home away from here#not only that but I just don't trust the government to honor My autonomy ESPECIALLY since both My mom and I are POC#I'd rather not risk being abused further by engaging with a racist + ableist system. better the devil you know than the devil you don't#which is ultimately why we as a community need to focus on ways to help higher-support autistics other than just relying on the authorities#why we need mutual aid and free housing and other autistics/allies who are willing to actively help those with no/unreliable caregivers
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One major factor missing from most debates on Arya and Lyanna's beauty is that they're being judged by their society's extremely patriarchal values. In both looks and personality, that context is essential to understanding how others perceive them. George explores the misogyny experienced by non-conforming women, especially with Arya, and it's interesting how he plays with that regarding their physical beauty.
Her mother used to say she could be pretty if she would just wash and brush her hair and take more care with her dress, the way her sister did. (The Blind Girl, ADWD) "You never knew Lyanna as I did, Robert," Ned told him. "You saw her beauty, but not the iron underneath. She would have told you that you have no business in the melee." (Eddard VII, AGOT)
These two quotes offer a nice summation of this idea. With Arya, her supposed lack of beauty is defined by her being a non-conforming wild child. Her hair is messy, her face is dirty, and she's often in "lower class" clothing while engaging in unladylike activities. None of this says anything about her physical beauty but it tells us everything about how she's perceived. Arya could be pretty...If she conforms to society's standards for a highborn Lady. With Lyanna, however, we get the opposite. Where Arya is judged based on her personality, Robert's romanticization of Lyanna is rooted solely in her looks. He doesn't know anything about the person she really was. There is an assumption that, because she looked a certain way, her personality must fit and Robert imagines her much softer and more passive than she actually was.
That Arya isn't pretty or Lyanna wasn't wild are two perceptions that George specifically pushes back against. This is where people miss the brilliance of them being linked as literary mirrors; it is largely about us learning more about Lyanna, but it touches on more than that. The significance of them being written as wild, willful, and with their own beauty is that George isn't writing his female characters around patriarchal expectations. When people debate their beauty, that's often the trapping they fall into. Beauty and non-conformity are treated as mutually exclusive factors when the story itself never makes that point; this is also the logic that leads people to the (incorrect) conclusion that Lyanna and Arya aren't meant to be similar. Arya's self-esteem issues around her looks and being a Lady make this a topic certain to be addressed in the future; George has made it a part of the story. The conclusion shouldn't be that "looks don't matter", but that looks aren't indicative of a character's value, personality, or morality.
#arya stark#lyanna stark#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#I know we're tired of this topic but I'm going to keep bringing it up until people base their analysis on what's actually in the books#it's not about needing/wanting Arya to be pretty it's about! the story being told#and it's just frustrating that this is such a highly debated topic that lacks all the nuance it's handled with in the source material#among a lot of other reasons people miss this point because they miss the way misogyny is handled in Arya's chapters#they think her being non-conforming mean she has some super special privilege that makes her exempt from it#Arya being pretty is a relatively small part her character but the message behind it contributes to a larger picture#and the biggest shame about this whole debate is that it misses genuinely brilliant writing#it's just absurd to be that /female character being non-conforming and pretty/ is beyond this fandom's comprehension skills#you guys really just want to force them into being flat no-nuance archetypes for easier consumption#Arya and Lyanna...I'm so sorry this fandom can't handle you because they hate women#mind you several people refer to Arya as pretty but apparently every single one of them is lying/unreliable because...reasons#this fandom truly has zero comprehension skills
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Ooh palettes 🥰 Jasper and Faith in either Malabar squirrel or cherry pie?
@darkfire1177 — [ palette prompts ]
✨ The Unplanned Variables ✨
#at the risk of accidentally making you cry again with my word. I gotta say it#I love you jay#I am so grateful every single day that we met and became as close we did#I absolutely adore you to bits#you are one of my bestest friends and I cherish every ounce of you#you always without fail brighten my days you are always so so much fun and I can't think of anyone else I laugh harder with#I have loved every moment of being by your side since last year and I can't image not having ya around#the impact you've made on me can't be put into words#and god I am so fucking proud of you every goddamn day I am proud of you#you're incredible#thank you for being my bestie and one of the most wonderful people I have ever met in my life#now enjoy some silly art of the rat bastard space girlfriends#faith and jasper truthers come and get ur fuckin FOOD#dual captains au#my art#the outer worlds#captain of the unreliable#friend oc#aly stop drawing characters at weird angles/poses that make me second guess everything challenge#if u see any of my typos. no u didn't. I'm totally sober and not crying rn
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I have been thinking on the nature of mdzs as a deliberately vague text that leaves many things up to interpretation, and how i've slowly come to understand "up for interpretation" less as "there is One True version of this story i must find" and not even as " Everyone has a different One True Version of this story inside their head be based on their interpretations and the differences don't make one wrong and the other right" but as "There is no One True Version. Even in my own subjective interpretation of the text multiple things can be true at once" specifically, in regard to Jin Guangyao and the many things which are left up in the air as to whether he did them or not, most notably killing his son.
There's evidence for this, but it's non conclusuve (jgy saying he killed him while also saying he killed Qin Su, who very much killed herself. The speculations on how he'd have killed him being sect leader yao just saying shit. ) it is, esentially, just up in the air enough that if you decisively fall on one side of the debate is probably says more about you and your general opinion of jgy than it does about the "true" events of canon.
I have, as a proud apologist, always fallen on the "he didn't kill him but felt in some way responsible for his death." Side but recently have become more okay with the interpretation that maybe he DID kill him, and that at the very least, that when he tells Qin Su their son "needed to die" he is being genuine. Which, once you look at it beyond. "Is jgy a poor lil meow meow who it is Okay to Like or an irredeemable baby murderer" becomes both INCREDIBLY tragic and deeply interesting. Because here is a man condemned for who his parents were and who wants nothing more than to live, saying that it is possible to be so cursed by your heritage that you need to die. There is no existence for you. The exact same thing that has been said to him.
Of course being born out of wedlock to a sex worker and being a product of incest are different things, but that begs the question: where is the line? What crimes of the father can mean death for the son? How cursed can you be until your existence is so incompatible with society it is you who needs to give? And if there is... where is it? Qin su clearly thought she was past it. Was his son really past it? Is he?
#warning: canon typical incest and suicide#mdzs#mdzs meta#musings on the nature of unreliable narratives or whatever#meng yao#jin guangyao#jin rusong#i know this is a controversial take#i just think! that once you let go of the idea that killing rusong is some load-bearing sin where if jgy has done it you can't like him#that there is interesting stuff to look at here!#obviously. child murder bad. jiggy has done many had things but this one is. particularly bad.#so i get it if you feel uncomfortable with it being done character you view as symapthetic despite other bad things he's done#and again! multiple things are true at once! i STILL operate from 'he did not kill him it was a secret 3rd thing' modus 90% of the time#it's just that in this one instant i find the other option really interesting#i just. non-identity problem my beloved. if rusong's suffering cannot be erased without erasing his existence is he destined to do so?#if he'd been a teen when everything about jgy got uncovered and both his parents died is there... a place left for him to go?#i just. hhhhh this poor child. we know nothing about you beyond your shameful birth and your death. is that really all you were meant to be
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hey wouldn't it be fun to give Hunter a bunch of Grimwalker things that no one but Belos knew about and everyone assumes is just Belos being cruel until they try something different and then it turns out it was actually necessary for Hunter's wellbeing?
so like one day Hunter mentions never having ice-scream or cake or really any other type of dessert. and everyone's like "that's so sad we have to get him ice-scream right away." but then Hunter spends the next couple hours being violently ill and it turns out Grimwalkers can't handle processed sugar
or he was never allowed to go to the healers when he was injured and he always had to stitch himself up (or Belos would do it sometimes if it was bad enough). and everyone's completely horrified because that's terrible and evil and what could the point of that be except to make Hunter go through more pain? and then someday he breaks a leg or something and they take him to the healers and it just. doesn't work. nothing happens. and it turns out healing magic is completely ineffective on Grimwalkers
anyway I think it would be fun to make the line between what was care and what was abuse a little blurry every now and again
#I may write a fic about this idk#anyway Belos being an unreliable narrator except sometimes so you can't just dismiss what he says you have to interrogate all of it for#essential information and it makes the whole process so much worse bc you can't just say “that's bad and shouldn't have happened to you” bc#you might be wrong actually. maybe that was right and should have happened to you. you don't know#“I regularly was made to sleep on the balcony without any bedding” and his carer/s are horrified but what if that's good for him??? they#don't know weirder things have happen. did you sleep well. did you feel rested. did you feel safe. how did you feel about it emotionally#was this packaged as a punishment or reward or just a thing you were told to do. they have to check#grimwalker#grimwalkers#the owl house#toh#hunter toh#belos#toh hunter#grimwalker things#that should be a tag can we make that a tag#tw child abuse#abuse tw#<- I don't really know what other warnings to tag for filtering purposes. if anyone knows pls tell me#nuclear war speaks
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SCREAMS INTO MY HANDS
#vent#i am so sick of not having a vehicle yo#i'm so tired of it#it's been weeks and my dad still hasn't checked out the unused corolla sitting in his yard#'well it could be the engine but it could also just be the head gaskets' THEN CHECK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD#or at LEAST let us take it to someone who WILL#i am so sick of them being so unreliable while they dangle help over my head and then i end up never fucking receiving it#it's the least you people could do for ruining my fucking life forever#i'm not expecting my dad to fix it himself because he's old but just#i am begging you#tell me what's wrong with the fucking car so we can see how much it'll be to fix it#if you're going to do one fucking thing right in your life just fucking HELP YOUR SON WITH THIS SIMPLE TASK#i'm sorry. i've been neurotic and disoriented since yesterday and i can't fucking think straight#i just want to have a vehicle because we can not keep having to order groceries and take ubers it's draining the fuck out of us
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