#so is babygirl like the new tumblr sexyman

[yourfavaschips]

have you done leon kennedy? :P

the babygirl chips

[postingjoost]

He is so beautiful oml,, literally clawing at the glass of my enclosure LOOK AT HIM.

[fox-guardian]

As funny as it would be for there to be another sans vs reigen standoff, I Do think it'd be really funny if we got Cecil to go all the way. Especially since, in my opinion, he stands the test of time and has come all the way around to the new brand of sexyman.

Like, yes, he was, in WTNV's early days, given the twink treatment. Dapper style, youthful features, etc. But he was never like that canonically.

He dresses horrifically (affectionate), he's canonically an older man even in the podcast's beginning, and he is and never has been a twink (he is neither thin, nor fat. Implying at thinnest, straight-sized, and at biggest, mid-sized).

Obviously this doesn't change the fandom's sexymanification of him, but it does lead him to fit more nicely into the sexyman that the aging tumblr userbase has recently developed:

The Babygirl.

Listen. Apart from the above, he can't cook for shit, he's petty, he's written Jaws slash fic and had his intern beta read it, he is CANONICALLY a dilf, he grows his own weed, he loves his husband So Goddamn Much, he won't shut up about how much he carnally desires said husband, he mentions his kinks on the fucking air, AND HE EVEN HAS A FUCKING TUMBLR.

I think he fits the bill for the pathetic older queer man that tumblr has grown so very Normal about. He is so very powerful. And after ten years of being this way I think he should be allowed to go all the way to the top. I think he's earned it.

Sure, if he doesn't stand a chance in the final four, I'll accept sans vs reigen. But if it gets close enough, say, above 40%.... Maybe we could push to go all the way. For the bit. For one of the original sexymen of tumblr history. For our dear gay uncle, Cecil Gershwin Palmer. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[rayghosts]

Reigen Arataka, world's greatest twink, dilf, milf, and Twitter favorite, had the chance of a lifetime. The Tumblr Sexyman poll - the only poll he landed second place in - was having a rematch on the original blue hellsite itself. With the experience he had gathered from the previous match, Reigen felt confident that he could win first place this time. He forwent the tactics he used last time and instead leaned hard into what he now knew was what made him truly appealing to the Tumblrinas: his babygirl factor.

In his first round, he swept the floor with Beetlejuice by opening his laptop and doing his work while lying in bed like a middle schooler. In the second round, he triumphed over Spamton by placing a hand on his hip in imitation of Jerma and saying, "Sparkle on, it's Wednesday, don't forget to be yourself!" In the third round, his victory over Jack Skellington was locked the moment Reigen used his latest Special Move: getting down on his hands and knees and arching his back so that his butt jutted out in a pose which drove the audience wild.

Having now won three rounds, Reigen was growing eager. He had but one round left before he could have his rematch against Sans. Already he could see that stupid skeleton across the stadium, taunting Reigen with his lazy smile.

Reigen's fourth opponent was a character he had never heard of before named Cecil Palmer, who didn't even have a canon appearance (albeit his voice did sound sexy). Cecil was from a podcast from 2012. Learning this, Reigen felt even more assured in his victory. No matter how popular this Cecil character may have been in 2012, Reigen had one over him in terms of relevance.

To Reigen's shock, his match against Cecil turned out to be much tougher than all his previous rounds. He soon learned the error he made in assuming Cecil's podcast faded years ago, for as it turned out, Welcome to Night Vale was still ongoing. Worse yet, Cecil's character writing kept up pace so that he was still as sexy by today's standards as he had been in 2012. Where Reigen cocked his hip in a slutty way and waved his hand around rapidly, Cecil rivalled him by wearing cat ears to work and gushing about his gay husband (who was CANON. How was Reigen supposed to go up against a CANON gay character?!)

But, no, there had to be some other secret to Cecil's success. After all, he didn't make it nearly as far in the Twitter poll. As Cecil paused in the middle of the competition to pull out his phone, Reigen finally saw why: Cecil had a Tumblr account. He had already familiarized himself with the website's culture long before Reigen entered the picture.

As Cecil's votes piled on unrelentlessly, Reigen became nervous. Could he really lose before reaching second place again? Reigen attempted to distract Cecil with a Salt Splash, but Cecil countered him by saying something about "the weather" and causing a random song to play out of nowhere, which disarmed Reigen long enough to gain Cecil another vote.

Now growing desperate, Reigen scanned through the audience, and that was when he saw him: Mob, standing among the crowd of Tumblrinas, watching his Shishou with his usual autistic stare. Reigen's first thought was how embarassing it must be for Mob to witness his teacher lose like this, but then he remembered his last match in Twitter, and what Mob told him afterward. Mob had wanted Reigen not to worry about what other people thought of him.

Reigen suddenly felt ashamed. How could he have forgotten Mob's words so quickly, and what was he teaching his disciple now, by entering a rematch of that contest? His vexation disappeared, to be replaced by a quiet resignation. As the poll drew to a close, and Cecil remained in the lead, Reigen decided to implement one last Special Move: Accepting His Defeat.

One second away from the poll's end, Cecil spoke in his smooth radio host voice, "Good news, listeners: #CECILSWEEP." The crowd erupted into cheers as the round's winner was announced to be Cecil.

Reigen somberly turned to walk off the stage. But before he could reach the end, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned back to see Cecil standing next to him. Cecil had one question for him... would he like to be mutuals on Tumblr?

Reigen's eyes teared up.

Maybe the true Tumblr sexyman was the friends we made along the way.

@sexymanotd

[braxiatel]

Goodtimeswithscar is a sexyman and I will prove it to you

If you are still on the fence I encourage you to look at the sexypedia - a wikipedia dedicated to tumblr sexymen - and checking out their tropes page. Scar meets 35/62 on a list where recent winner of the tumblr sexyman poll Cecil Palmer of WTNW fame only has 8 listed on his character page!

35!

Scar is Textbook, and if you need proof I have gone through all the tropes and explained why they apply to him!

VOTE SCAR!

4th Wall Blurring: This one is arguable due to the nature of the medium but I’ll include it

Animal Theming: See: animal hybrid headcanons and designs. Cat Scar, panda Scar, hyena Scar, avian Scar - they’re everywhere!

Angst: That cactus ring… magic mountain. need I say more? This boy has angst. 

Bait: *gestures at the shirtless skins*

Capitalist: she sells sea shells on the sea shore but the value of these shells will fall due to the laws of supply and demand no one wants to buy shells cause there’s loads on the sand step one you must create a sense of scarcity 

Chaoslord: HotGuy! [snipes you for no good reason]

Criminal: shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare you see bear with me take as many shells as you can find and hide them on an island stockpile them high until they’re rarer than the price of diamond

Con Artist: step two gotta make the people think that they want them really fucking want them hit ‘em like Bronson influencers product placement if you haven’t got a shell then you’re just a fucking waste man

Dealmaker: three it’s monopoly invest inside some property start a corporation make a logo do it properly shells must sell that will be your new philosophy swallow all your morals they’re a poor man’s quality

Distinctive Voice: I do not need to make any arguments here. Have you heard him???

Quotable Catchphrase(s): well hello there, scarred for life, “a-ma-zing”, etc.

Distinctive Laugh: I think I autism stole Scar’s laughter (whoops) so I’m giving him this one too, but also that gigle is just very good and we all know it, right?

Dominating: from the trope description: “Characters who assert their power over others. Could be through manipulation, magic, smugness, or force of personality.” Yes. 

Duality: Convex did not put their whole entire vexussies into that possession storyline for us to forget about it. 

Egotistical: This one is arguable and a question of characterisation, but I think that we can all agree that on some levels, yes. 

Eldritch: From the trope description: “Since the typical sexyman is a tall mostly human looking pale twink, in a vast majority of the cases the eldritch is a heavy implication lying just under the surface.” Hello? Vex Scar?? 

Gay: See subsection: 

LGBTQ+ Coded: That cactus ring. Mumbo “eye candy” Jumbo. The season 7 mayoral race. Concorp. His jolly rancher arc. This man has so many boyfriends. 

Girlboss: listen I think a lot of characters who aren’t traditional girlbosses get called so, but with Scar I think it’s accurate okay. Did Scar utilize girl power effectively when he and Cub were blatant war profetiers during the season 6 civil war? yes. Absolutely. Girlboss. 

Glowing Neon: vex blue anyone?

Hot-headed: Don’t let his calm exterior fool you. Remember. Scar when someone steals his horse: *sets their whole entire house on fire*. 

Intelligence: yes but also see subsection

Smartdumb: Okay listen. Scar is Smart. Scar is very smart. And I specifically have to make sure you know I am talking character only here because cc!Scar seems to me to be a Very intelligent person with a wide field of knowledge. But uhm. c!Scar dies so much and so often in ways that are completely unavoidable. He does silly things without thinking of the consequences. I have seen enough people calling him a himbo (beloathed term) enough times that I do not need to argue this point. He is smart but also babygirl Why are you like this.

Johnlocked: “When two characters are shipped extensively by fans despite the pairing not necessarily being canon (or even present) in the original work.” it started out with a cactus ring how did it end up like this, it was only a cactus ring, it was only a cactus ring

Knifemurder: Hotguy! [snipes you a second time] 

Magnificent Bastard: This Is The Whole Point. Scar oozes charisma even when he is the villain and that’s why he is so beloved. He is smart, he is stylish, he is charming, even while he is killng you. This is the point. 

Marked Canon/Fanon Divergence: “Sexymen with a large gap between how they are in the original work (Canon) and how they are commonly portrayed in fanworks (Fanon)” see : the fake crystals vs Scar actually having magic, the abs being painted on vs shirtless Scar everywhere, etc.

Monster Features: vex scar vex scar vex scar

Nonhuman: like the vex thing is literally canon it’s not fanon those cons sure did vex 

Pale Twink: We could have done many things with this collection of blocks people, and yet my dash is full of shirtless twinks/twunks every day ending with a y. Curious. 

Perpetual Smiler: Okay listen this is partially the nature of the medium but also 1) that is a distinctive smile and 2) have you see the fanworks? 

Power: This man tried to sell fake magic crystals and we all just decided he can do magic. He was an elf once and now fae/elf Scar headcanons are everywhere. 

Scars: I- I’m not explaining myself here. yes??? 

Tall: I can think of one, maybe two portrayals of Scar that have made him short. 

Theme Song: four expand, expand, expand clear forest make land fresh blood on hands five why just shells why limit yourself she sells seashells sell oil as well six guns sell stocks sell diamonds sell rocks sell water to a fish sell the time to a clock seven press on the gas take your foot off the brakes then run to be the president of the united states eight big smile mate big wave that's great now the truth is overrated tell lies out the gate nine polarise the people controversy is the game it don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name ten the world is yours step out on a stage to a round of applause uou're a liar a cheat a devil a whore and you sell seashells on the seashore

Unkempt: so those rugged life series Scars, huh? 

Villain: Scar has been the villain several times and has a Long list of crimes to his name

Technically Antagonist: see 3rd life

Villain Protagonist: unreliable narrator Scar my beloved. I love how he just *does terrible things edited to make him look like he’s just a silly little guy having some harmless fun*

Well-Dressed: Hmmm I wonder why waggon/tycoon Scar routinely wins every Scar skin poll. Also he has enough outfits to include these sub categories too: 

Suitguy: “Characters who typically wear formalwear, specifically suits. Often includes waistcoats, top hats, bowties, and pinstripes. Other neckwear may also be worn.” Again. The tycoon skin really lives rent free in all out minds, huh?

Long Coat/Cape/Robe/Etc: bathrobe wizard Scar my beloved but also do you know how many thirst trap last life Scars I’ve seen?? 

White Twink Humanization: He is made out of blocks in canon. We did not need to make him like this and yet we did. 

White Hair: last life Scar beloved by many <3

VOTE SCAR!

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

what are the core ingredients of a Tumblr Sexyman

Now you see THIS is an interesting question because in it lies a cultural shift in hotness that we can observe in real time.

You see, in an earlier era one could easily describe a tumblr sexyman as a character with the following traits:

-White/White Presenting in the fandoms eyes should the character be humanized in fanon only as was the case for characters like Bill Cipher

-Tall and Thin: tumblr girlies love looking different while not being different and therefore the average tumblrite would reject the “hunk” archetype for the slimmer figure, though having no regard for chubby or fat body types.

-Morally Dubious Characterization. Now this could range anywhere from a “fall from grace” in which a true good character finds themselves becoming the villain, to just straight up being a genocidal maniac but they were nice that one time to another conventionally attractive character (likely a protagonist). The point is to have a villain without the baggage of them being true evil.

-Tragic Backstories. From lost friends to corrupting outside forces to abusive daddies to abusive daddies to abusive daddies (there’s a lot of abusive daddies), you want your characters morally questionable choices to be blamable on anybody but themselves.

-Expensive Aesthetic. Suits, waistcoats, vests, even white button-up undershirts all portray someone as having money (regardless of their wealth status), while showing off that slim figure.

-“Charming”. Now what a tumblr girlie would call charming was often as dubious as the characters moral standings and it tended to come in two flavors: Coy and smarmy, which has a man who feels on top of the world, always has a quick retort, and can often be seen making half-lidded eyes at the protagonist with a sly grin on their face. They have not a care because they’ve already won. Conversely, they could be “Awkward”. Dorky and soft, tripping over sentences and their own feet, but they’re just sooooo cute about it. These tend to be the types to have meltdowns where they could be seen breaking things in a room and shouting while tears roll down their face because they’re “so emotionally available”.

AND THEN SUDDENLY SANS

Sans became something of a base-breaker as Sans broke many of these conventions. He dresses down, his body type-while being literal bones-is still fat presenting, his only “moral pitfall” doesn’t actually exist as he only attacks if you prove yourself to be actively genocidal, and he’s a short king. By all means, Papyrus SHOULD’VE been the TSM, if not Mettaton (who was near made for the role). And yet, Sans. Why?

Well, a shift was coming. Body positivity was on the rise and genuinely likeable characters were in shorter supply than ever before because too many pieces of fandom media were pandering to the TSM tastes, and if there’s one thing a counter culture fella loves it’s jumping to the next counter cultural movement when counter culture becomes the culture.

This means that Sans actually heralds in a new era, as different sizes, demeanors, and aesthetics started to break the base (see also: Alex Brightman’s Beetlejuice). However, there are some principles that still remain

-Coy charms and awkward charms alike are still pervasive in the TSM arsenal and a tragic backstory still has hooks in the audience, even if nowadays it may not necessarily apply to a morally dubious sort. Also they’re still like, all white. Because fandoms at large have a racism problem.

As one might note the TSM isn’t often an applied term these days, and that’s because as the TSM scope broadened new terms were being used to describe subsets before the umbrella term was dropped all together. Girlypop, babygirl, himbo, blorbo, glup shitto, etc. are all in their own way just a branch off the gnarled root of the TSM.

[eld-red]

moved into my college dorm showed my new cool gay friends pizza tower. within 30 minutes i got

“this game would be so fun to watch while high” “never mind this game is so overwhelming id cry”

“everything is moving so fast how can you follow this” “i don’t”

“every time you tell me one new thing three other things pop up how csn you play this”

“i like how pizzaface thinks ‘hm what’s the worst way i can piss off this anxious italian war vet i know! recreate world war II!’”

“at least mr. stiff makes sense—he’s stiffing you money. mr. stick just sounds worse”

“classicyjitto should have changed his name to crust”

“is peppino a tumblr sexyman?” “no he’s a babygirl” “what’s a babygirl?”

showed them the peppino jumpscare screen. we actually got jumpscared because we lost track of 40 seconds. one kf my friends thought pepperman was supposed to be a jalapeño. they both laughed so hard at the intro. got so confused at the introduction of gustavo. thought gerome not taunting when yku hit the taunt button was funny

[femgirlfriend-moved]

seriously the thing about male characters in fandoms is weirdddd. I'm assuming it's because a lot of fandom is driven by younger women but its like so strange it's always about one guy in particular and then finding a side guy to pair him with and there's nothing else to any of it idek how to word it but theres a reason a tumblr sexyman is a thing and it's always a man... and even off of the more fandomy side of tumblr like with people who are into succession or mcr or horror movies its all about being like "hes so babygirl sopping wet hes giving period cramps hes so mother" over like a random dude but then sweaaaaaring that its not because they think hes hot its all so weird (plus the calling them babygirl or saying he's your wife is so weird to me even if its girls making the jokes bc its like a degree away from a sissy fetish tbh like why is talkimg about him like hes a woman the same thing as calling him a pathetic little bug elaborate on that. but maybe I'm being a little too sjw on that one). pure insanity. and ofc at the end of it all female characters don't exist and if they do they're either a mom friend or in a single drawing calling them "my favorite mean girl!" and theyve got the lesbian and trans flags painted on their cheeks

this literallyyyy😭😭 you said it all especially the fetish part and the fact that them calling a male character woman or lesbian is equivalent to being emotional or frail or pathetic. it's some kind of internalized misogyny that uses a male character as a projector. weird as all hell and it's still going strong in basically any fandom old or new and we need to cut this behavior off as a society or we're never making it out of the patriarchy

[jevilowo]

The complete list of everything to happen in and around the 8th of September 2022:

Reigen became ultimate twink and dilf and milf and babygirl and hottest anime girl and

Sans vs Reigen for ultimate tumblr sexyman on twitter (Sans won by 420 votes)

Toby Fox wrote a fanfic about Sans vs Reigen (it's on twitter, it comes up if you google it)

Lea Michele can't read conspiracy

Also she debuts in Funny Girl

Splatoon 3 dropped

Enstars cover of Tell Your World dropped

2 year anniversary of Eric Trump calling Mob Psycho 100 leftist propaganda

Star Trek day

The Queen of England died

Trisha Paytas went into labour, but it was a false alarm

Kiwi Farms shut down

Don't Worry Darling drama

Dan and Phil made a video saying people gave them cocaine and celebrities wanted to have threesomes with them

Thurston Waffles died (rip)

Finding out they censored destiel many times

Bastille performed in Argentina

Mercury Retrograde (not sure what that is, but it's today apparently)

Out of touch Thursday and Felix Huaves (again, not sure what that means but someone reblogged with those tags so)

Bernie Sanders, P!NK, Ruby Bridges, Gaten Matarazzo and Martin Freeman's birthdays

MCR IN BOSTON BABEY

Danny Phantom graphic novel cover reveal (first dp content since 2008)

24th anniversary of the Pokemon anime broadcasting in the US

Warnuts first birthday/anniversary

Critical role massacred one of their player characters in the episode last night

Anniversary of sega dreamcast debut

Song for the new sonic game got released

New Pinocchio movie. And many other films and shows dropped on Disney Plus, due to it being disney plus day.

Comment if I missed anything

Update, I've edited this post like a million times, lmao. I'm honoured to be the keeper of events.

Update 2, here's all the polls Reigen has won so far, from a post by @blackberry-s0da

Update 3, END OF REIGENSWEEP I REPEAT END OF REIGENSWEEP

[creechurfoundincheckerboardvoid]

Character ask thing. Narrator Stanley parable. The Brit™️

YAYYYY WHOOOO!!!! the most fifty year old babygirl ever ♡

First Impression: i did not know this game even existed until a mutual started reblogging art for it after ultra deluxe came out so!! i think the first design i ever saw was tumblr user lazycharlie's...? (if that's the right url) the one where he looks kinda like purple guy but has "the end is never" written all over him and his only facial feature is a mouth with really big teeth. i thought he was the new tumblr sexyman. and THEN when i actually learned what the game is about i thought he was an all-knowing all-powerful being, the god of this universe, and you were supposed to defy him and that's the only way you could escape.

Impression Now: you know the game still would've been really clever if he was the defining power of that world, but he's not. he's just as trapped as stanley is, possibly even more so. forgetting resets, his existence entirely dependent not just on speaking but by being heard. this guy's morality is a roulette wheel he is so messed up <33 OH AND THE ENTIRETY OF THE FIGURINE ENDING MANNN this dude is so. he is So. he made up a little guy and now that little guy is his everything he lives in a husk of a functional universe he can't move on and can't go back he's so dependent on praise and he can't be on his own and hnghgf

Favorite Moment: th. that evil little laugh in the countdown ending 😳😳 (you are legally not allowed to make fun of me) oH ALSO the How You Found It video. and and!! i don't remember the line exactly but just that whole monologue halfway through the skip button ending, the "i wish you to feel afraid as i do" IT'S SO AUGHDHFH

Idea For a Story: I HAVE NO IDEA. no wait i got one okay once upon a time mr narrator goes to reality and takes one sip of gingerbread flavored mountain dew and dies immediately

Unpopular Opinion: ehmm i don't know what opinions are popular or unpopular so i can't really say for sure?? idk

Favorite Relationship: is this even a question. This is the story of the Narrator and His Blorbo named Stanley (the blorbo communicates exclusively through thumbs up, thumbs down, and barking) they kill each other for fun they were both catgirls in middle school and now they're trapped in a timeloop together forever

Favorite Headcanon: THE AUTISM ON THIS GUY FOR REALLL. both him and stanley, for narrator there's like lists of sourced evidence to point to and then for stanley you kinda just look at him and think yeah that's just a tbh creature if it was a guy. OH OH OH vocal stimmy. what a room what a room va va voom what a room. treatise manifesto. the repeated varying deliveries of whatever that line was in the comedic timing ending. when he's not on mic he's making cat noises trust me on this one