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astarryeyedlady · 2 years

Text

| mortifying ordeal |

part 2

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: this was supposed to be a simple "reader offers eddie a ride" but it definitely got away from me lol. anyway enjoy <3

warning: no beta.

word count: 3k.

*******

"fucking... shit!"

you jump, startled, and lose the grip on your bunch of keys. they clatter on the ground, chipping the tiny charm in the process - time for you to go, tweety.

you turn towards the voice muttering profanities a few parking lots away, seeing a familiar face kicking the tire of his van and dragging a tired, exasperated hand through his messy curls.

you grab your keys from the ground and walk to him, backpack half hanging from your shoulder. "everything okay, munson?"

he turns with a deep frown but smooths it out when he sees it's you, offering a half smile in greeting and a slight bow of his head. "not quite," he grunts. "some dickhead thought it funny to pierce a hole in my tire, and now i gotta go home on foot. or wait for my uncle..."

he's half-muttering to himself now, and you take a moment to realize that this is probably the first time you actually saw him worried and - the right word would probably be, dejected. it's strange: eddie munson is always joking and teasing, not even the fact that he's at his third senior year seems to faze him anymore, and usually even the bullying stops at calling him a freak because he's just too chill to let what other people say or think of him affect him.

apparently, they decided to try a different approach. dickheads indeed - this has jocks written all over it.

you bite the inside of your cheek, thinking. you're not exactly friends, to be honest - you share various classes and also happened to work on a few projects together, but that's the extent of it. you've always seen him in the background at school previous to your senior year - he was impossible to miss, as his personality demanded your whole attention; he was a costant, brilliant presence moving in and out of your circle, making you almost painfully aware of his existence - yet you never engaged with him, not for lack of desire to do so. you're simply not that great with strangers and have always felt some sort of deference towards the older students.

you've always thought it would be an amazing experience to actually get to know him, hearing his weirdly deep rants about any sort of subject up close instead of straining your ears from your table in the cafeteria - even during class, if he was in the mood to pay attention, he would rarely say something dumb. he always seems to think before speaking, and then from time to time he would even quote pieces of literature. how could you not be intrigued?

and even if it's different now, as you're both on equal ground, there still hasn't been an occasion for you to exchange more than a few words.

maybe this was it.

"you need help to change your tire?"

he blinks, looking surprised that you're still here. "um, what?"

you point to the tire slumped sadly on the ground. "i can help with that, if you want."

he still looks like a deer in the headlights, hands gripping his elbows and head tilted sideways as he just - stares at you, as if he's considering whether you're fucking with him or you're actually serious.

hopefully, since he hasn't told you to fuck off yet, he's leaning more towards the latter.

"thank you, sweetheart," he says eventually. "but this was my spare tire. it's not the first time this happened, and i haven't... mmh... had time to change it yet."

"oh."

you stare at each other, a weird mood settling on the scene - it kinda feels like you're both trying to figure the other out without being able to. you can't read his expression, his poker face is too good for that, so you can only hope he doesn't think you're crazy, or worse - one of the bullies who ruined his only means of getting home.

you clear your throat before he can say anything, and point in the general direction of your car. "well, do you want a ride? you can't go back on foot, it's about to rain."

"why?"

the sudden sharpness of his voice catches you off guard. "why what?"

"why are you doing this? you rarely talk to me outside of class. actually, i didn't even think you knew my name," he calls you out like he's just stating a fact, merciless yet not cruel, and you start to regret ever coming up to talk to him.

"we have six classes together, of course i know your name," you murmur, not really knowing what to say. yeah, what possessed you to make you go and talk to him out of nowhere? god, no one likes nosey people.

time to flee the scene. "i'm sorry, i didn't want to impose or- or look like a busybody. you just looked like you needed help and i- i, well, doesn't matter. uh, sorry again then. bye."

you're already in front of your car when you hear your name (he knows it?) being called, but you're feeling humiliated enough and you just want to go home and try to forget the way you just made a fool of yourself.

eddie calls your name again, and his hand presses against your car door. "hey, wait a second- please?"

god, why couldn't you mind your own business? with a sigh, you straighten your back - just pretend not to be affected, then take the furthest seat possible from him in your classes from now on.

"mh?"

"look, i didn't mean to sound rude - it came out wrong," he says quickly, as if he's afraid you might just jump in the car and run before he has finished. "we just never talked, and suddenly you come up and offer me a ride? i'm grateful but also a bit confused. okay? you usually avoid me!"

you stubbornly ignore the fragments of past scenes coming to mind - eddie picking up your pen and you taking it from his hand without even glancing his way, cheeks too warm from the brief yet lingering touch of his fingers against you; him moving away from your path with a flourish and a half bow, half gentleman and half jester, only to get a tight-lipped awkward smile before watching you scurry away; you fidgeting on your seat as the both of you work together on the same essay, too nervous and focused on the light scent of aftershave coming off of him to notice his perplexed and vaguely annoyed expression.

to be fair he probably has all the reasons to think you've been avoiding him, but you're not about to confess your crush just to clear up the whole misunderstanding.

and yet - it hurts to know that's what he thinks of you.

"i don't avoid you!" you blurt, turning so sharply towards him that he takes an instinctive step back. "you're the one who's unapproachable!"

his eyes widen almost comically, his finger pointing to himself. "who, me?" he snorts a laugh. "i'm, like, the most approachable guy in the whole school. wouldn't be able to run my business otherwise, you think?"

you stare at him, speechless. why is he even insisting - how are you having this conversation?

"munson, you're just- kind of intimidating, to be honest", you force yourself to admit. "and i'm not great at making friends - usually people approach me first because i guess i give off a non-threatening aura, but that's it. and you're this- this big, imposing presence, the cool older senior who deals and has a band and tattoos and long hair - and, and... don't you see it? it's overwhelming! so- so, i'm not avoiding you, i just can't meet your eyes!"

at this point you're pretty sure that if the ground doesn't open up and swallow you whole in the next five minutes you're going to find it very hard coming back to school tomorrow, but that sounds like a problem for future you. present you has her own problems - she's breathing shakily, staring at eddie munson waiting for the guy to laugh or tell you to fuck off and just hopefully forget the whole thing ever happened.

except - eddie munson isn't looking at you like that.

his mouth is hanging open, his lips trying to move and mouth something despite his voice refusing to come out. the hand pressing the door of your car close slips away and curls into a tight fist against his thigh.

still, it seems anticlimatic to just enter your car and leave, so you wait. what else could go wrong at this point, right? he already thinks you're kind of a bitch.

as you wait, you focus on the big, metal rings on his pale fingers, noticing a skull shaped one that wasn't there the other day - and was that writing on his skin? you remember watching him scribble on the back of his hand during maths, looking bored out of his mind, blue ink shaping stylized images that looked like the ones patched on his jeans vest - and god, why do you even know this kind of stuff. but you couldn't really help it, though?, since he keeps sitting next to you, forcing you to learn things about him. yeah, that's it - it's his fault, really.

"you think i'm cool?"

you blink, abruptly coming back to reality. "sorry, what?"

"you", he says again, playing with a lock of his hair and twirling it under his nose as if it were a moustache. "you said- you think i'm cool?"

is he blushing?

because you're blushing.

"well- well, i mean, you're-" you gesture nervously towards him, feeling warm. that's what he got from your little rant? "-you're like, a rockstar", you finish lamely.

please, god, take me now.

"a... rockstar", he repeats, baffled.

you gesture wildly with the hand holding your keys like a weapon, throwing shyness out the window. "you have a belt made of bullets!"

"not today."

you falter. "ah?"

"i said, i'm not wearing that today." now he's staring, a weird, considering look upon his handsome face. "actually, i think i only wore it a couple of times at school."

your arms fall at your side as you hold his gaze, completely lost. why the sudden change of subject?

"i don't understand what you-"

"a couple of times in the last three years, i mean."

ah.

you clear your throat, lowering your eyes to the metallica tshirt peeking out from his jacket. a muscle twitches in your jaw as you clench your teeth, nervousness coming back in waves and warmth settling on your cheeks.

way to look like a stalker in front of the guy you fancy.

you swallow, gripping the strap of your bag and trying to look anywhere but him. except eddie is making it nearly impossible, standing big and tall in front of you and filling your whole visual field.

"i'm sorry", you repeat, not quite knowing what to say. it's like you're having an out of body experience with how strange the afternoon has been - but this is definitely gonna put a stop to any future attempt of befriending him.

the last nail on your coffin, burying the little courage you had left.

out of the corner of your eye you see his fingers drumming on his faded jeans, then his hand twitches as if he's debating whether to try and touch you - and you've had enough.

"i'm just gonna go before, uh, before it rains." you finally stick the key in the door and open your car, throwing your bag on the passenger seat; the scent of vanilla coming from the arbre magique hanging from the rearview mirror is a lovely welcome for your frayed nerves.

"hey hey, wait", eddie suddenly jumps in front of you, hands hovering mid-hair to show he has no bad intentions - at least that's how he looks to you - and those big, brown eyes watching you with concern and- and something else you're too tired to decipher. "this isn't... 's not how this was supposed to go."

you close your eyes, deflated. "what are you talking about, munson?"

he grabs the back of his neck, leaning against the side of your car. "this... the first time we talked."

you frown, crossing your arm. "we talk all the time in class."

he throws you a flat stare. "i'm not talking about when we're picking a subject for an essay or i ask you to copy your maths homeworks, sweetheart."

sweetheart? maybe there's still hope.

he groans before you have the time to say anything, and rubs his face harshly as if to pull himself together. "you know- i thought you hated me at first, with how you skirt around me and look on edge or uncomfortable all the time. thought it was because i'm the freak, and maybe some friends told you to give me a wide berth, you know? and i thought - well, that's fair, a girl's gotta protect herself from weird older guys who sell drugs! so i wasn't going to lose sleep on it, i mean. but then you ended up in a lot of my classes! and you're adorable. and it's clear that you're not one to judge a book by its cover, okay, you seem to have a good relationship with anyone. except me! and i- i don't get it. i tried to talk to you, tried to tease you, to help you, to make you help me, try to look as unthreatening as possible! and you just- you just look away. you're all fidgety like, like... i don't know, like you're red riding hood and i'm the big bad wolf! and then now, out of nowhere, you approach me first and offer me a ride? am i in a twilight zone episode?"

he stops brusquely to catch his breath, hand running through his hair as his eyes wildly look around as if to make certain that no one else was witness to his rant - but you're alone now, students already gone home from the day and teachers probably still in some meeting inside.

"those were certainly a lot of words", you mutter, mind reeling. you don't think you ever heard him say so many words all together - well, not to you, anyway - and it was kind of... thrilling, to be honest.

maybe you were in a twlight zone episode.

"yeah, i tend to vomit words when i'm nervous," he blurts out, unfiltered.

a few, fat drops of water start falling slowly all around you, splattering on your car and leaving round shadows on the pavement, but suddenly you're not in a hurry to leave anymore. at this point you kinda want to resolve this thing, so you close your eyes and sigh.

"i have a crush on you."

"...no."

you huff a laugh at his incredulous tone, nodding. "yeah."

he ignores the raindrop running down his nose and dripping from his chin, eyes intent on you, a hand raising to grip his shirt in the direction of his heart. "you're serious? you're not bullshitting me?"

you feel tired all of a sudden so you sit inside your car, legs dangling outside, hands grasped together in between your thighs. "nope", you confirm, shrugging. "sorry."

at least, the fact that he's not one to gossip comes as a comfort to you - your little, silly unrequited crush is going to remain hidden, hopefully, and now the misunderstandings between you two are all cleared. it does make you feel a tiny bit relieved, all things considered - and maybe even your classes are going to pass with less tension.

"now, why do you keep saying sorry?" eddie opens the door wide and suddenly he's kneeling in front of you, no thought spared for the dirty, wet asphalt of the parking lot.

"oh my god, get up, you'll ruin your knees and your jeans-!"

"babe, i don't care." that shuts you up pretty quickly. "now, you were telling me about your crush? i have a few questions, if you don't mind."

this is all so surreal, you can't even conjure the embarrassment anymore. "and do you have to stay there for this?"

"yeah, i think i'll get better answers", he smirks up at you, then he offers you his hand - palm up. "may i?"

why not? you put your hand over his and his fingers curl around it, the cold metal of his rings clashing pleasantly with the warmth of your skin. you try not to think of how many times you have wondered how would it feel to touch him - to have that degree of casual familiarity that would allow for it - and you fail, of course. the feeling of his hand grasping yours is even better than what you could imagine.

your eyes finally raise to his face, and in the dim light of the cloudy afternoon eddie munson looks incredibly soft, spurring you to gently squeeze his hand.

his smirk turns into something sweeter. "hi there."

"hi." your lips curl upwards, a bit sadly. "look, i didn't mean anything with that, by the way. about my crush - you don't have to worry about it. i just don't want you to keep thinking i hate you, or that i'm a bitch. i'm just shy, promise."

now he's the one who squeezes your hand. "that does answer a few questions, although i never thought you were a bitch. just... maybe... a little stuck-up?"

you snort. "as if that's any better?"

"it is", he nods sagely. "you can work with stuck-upness, but you rarely can fix bitchiness."

"aah, shakespeare?"

eddie's whole face seems to brighten. "and with a sense of humour, too - a woman after my own heart!"

you bite the inside of your cheek, shaking your head. "please, don't joke about that."

he must have heard something fragile in your tone because he sobers up immediately, taking your other hand too and squeezing them together between his. "i'm not joking", he assures you, gently. "haven't you been listening, sweetheart? i told you i tried everything short of showing up naked for maths to catch your attention."

your brain doesn't immediately grasp the meaning of his words - to be fair, rain keeps falling in quiet, sparse drops, and his long curls are getting frizzy and a few damp locks are sticking on his forehead and pinky cheekbones, making him look like a renaissance painting; but then you blink, and he's still on his knees in front of you, patiently waiting for your reaction - and the only thing you can say is, "uh?"

eddie laughs a bit, looking entirely too pleased with himself as he puts the weight of his torso against your thighs, looking up at you with your hands held against his face. "seen something you like, mh?"

ah, and the blush is back.

"this is why i couldn't look at you." you swallow, incredulous of the turn this whole awkward affair has taken. "you're distracting, eddie munson."

"and you're beautiful, sweetheart", he doesn't miss a beat. "so! you have a crush on me, i have a crush on you... when are you gonna take me on a date? because i'm currently on foot, sadly."

"i know, that's why i offered you a ride earlier", you remind him, rolling your eyes - then freeze. "wait- you have a crush on me?"

"yeah? pay attention", he says distractedly, playing with your hands before bringing them up to his mouth and - leaving kisses on your fingers. "and i'm actually quite wounded that your way of flirting is ignoring me, you know. truly counterproductive, i have to say."

his lips keep brushing and peppering kisses on your hands and you're finding it harder and harder to focus on the conversation. "i know, i- i'm- sorry?" he casually puts your index finger inside his mouth and bites down on it, not to hurt but definitely to scold, and your breath hitches. "yeah, s-sorry doesn't cut it."

"it does not", he concurs primly.

"how about-", you try again, heart beating wildly inside your ribcage as eddie simply start to suck on your finger, slowly, watching you through half-lidded eyes. "-mmh, i give you a ride home, and we decide what to do on the way?"

god, how did things escalated so quickly?

he releases you with a pop and smile up at you. "yep, that's better. and you're gonna answer my questions, yes?"

"sure", you murmur, light-headed.

"perfect!" he finally gets up, cracking his back with a satisfied groan and brushing the dirty off his knees, looking like a different person than the one cursing at his tire from earlier. "let me get my bag real quick and then we can go, babe."

he leans in to smack a kiss on your forehead with admirable ease before jogging to his van, leaving you to admire his broad back and allow your heart to calm down.

so - guess the two of you are dating, now?

***********

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #stranger things #text #mine*#this just kept going and going!! i had no idea where it was headed lol. def no plot here - vibes only

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ofstarsandvibranium · 4 years

Text

Swipe Right

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: Bucky has been your neighbor for a few months now, so he likes to think you two are friends. Which is why he thinks you're the best person to go to to help him get back into the dating scene.

AN: inspired by one line of dialogue from the first ep of Falcon and the Winter Soldier. lol also, FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER EP 1 SPOILERS!

Bucky felt lost. Well, he's always felt lost ever since he suddenly came back along with have of the world's population. He was pardoned by the government and now a civilian. He was going through therapy to deal with his 70+ years worth of trauma and trying to navigate his way through the modern world. Everything was new and exciting but also overwhelming and exhausting.

His therapist encouraged him to date and make friends. So that's what he did, or at least, tried to do.

He considers you a friend. You live in the apartment right beside him, gave him a friendly smile and helping hand when he first moved in. You two chatted when you'd run into each other in the hall or in the laundry room. You were nice, attractive, funny. He honestly thought about asking you out a few times, but you were his friend, his only friend it seems. So he couldn't ruin that. Therefore, he resorted to online dating.

He signed up to a bunch of dating websites and apps: eharmony, match.com, plentyoffish, tinder-SO MANY. Why are there so many dating apps?!

He's scrolling through his phone, so overwhelmed by the different pictures and information. What does DTF mean???

He scowls, tossing his phone onto a pile of dry laundry he should be folding. You enter the laundry room with a chuckle, "Everything alright?"

He glances over his shoulder and sees you. He immediately smiles and faces you, "Hey, um, yeah," he gestures to his phone, "Just, um..." he lets out a sigh and asks, "Do you know anything about dating?"

You look at him curiously and reply, "A little. Why? What's up?"

"I'm just," he nervously scratches his head and places his hands on his hips, "I'm trying this online dating thing and it's...a lot."

You can't help but snort, "I feel ya," you give him a reassuring smile despite your heart dropping to your stomach, "So, uh, what sites or apps are you on?"

"Um...all of them?"

You snort again, "No way. Let me see your phone." you hold out your open palm to him and he places his phone into your hands after unlocking it. You swipe through his apps and your brows shoot up to your hairline, "Well it's not all of them , but it's definitely a lot." you look up from the phone to Bucky, "Can I give some advice?"

"Please, I'll take anything you can give me," he replies desperately.

You hop onto the washing machine and hold up his phone, "Okay. These apps are usually for the older crowd. Like thirty five and up, so if you're not picky about age, feel free to keep these. Now, these apps are what the younger generations use. Tinder is usually for hook ups, one night stands and all that. Not many people take Tinder seriously. Bumble, is a level up from Tinder. You'll find people who are more serious about finding a relationship with also a mix of people looking for something casual. Hinge, I think, is a level up from Bumble. You don't see people's typical lame ass bios, but their answers to some fun questions, what kind of relationship they're looking for, if they smoke or do drugs, etc. Also, I'm not sure if you know this, but you can change the age range on all of these apps. So instead of having it from 18 to 50, you can narrow it so 25 to 35 or however you want."

You look at Bucky and see his brows are furrowed in...concentration? Confusion?

"Was that too much? Do I need to slow down?"

He shook his head, "No, no, that's not it. Um, thanks, Y/N," he shoots you a grateful grin and you smile back, "No problem, Bucky." You see the gears turning in his head and you ask a question, he might be scared to ask you, "Do you want me to help you find some potential dates?"

"Will you?" he asks in that same desperate tone from earlier.

Again, you put on a smile, despite your breaking heart, "Sure!"

You tap on Hinge, double checking on his preferences, and then going to the main page.

"Oh! Look here. She's a single mom, but she's also a nurse. On the weekends, you're most likely going to find her wine drunk and watching movies with her kids. She has pets. She'd like to have more kids some day. She sounds nice. How 'bout it, Bucky?"

"Sure. She-She sounds good."

"Cool! So you tap on the heart on whatever thing on her page. So let's like her....answer here. If you want, you can comment something, but if not, you just forward it and hope to see that she'll like you back and you can start messaging her! Also, it looks like some people already like you! So you just tap on this icon here and you can scroll through the different people who've liked something on your page and it's up to you if you want to make contact or not."

Bucky hums and plucks his phone from your hands, "Wow. This-Thanks Y/N. This really helped."

"No problem, Buck! If you ever need more help, just let me know!" you hop off the washer and proceed to start up a load of laundry. You mind running back and forth about how you should shoot your shot, but you were too afraid of ruining the friendship you and Bucky have.

______________________

Bucky: Hey

You: What's up?

Bucky: can you come over? I need more help with this online dating situation.

You: sure!

You let your phone fall to your side with a sigh, Bucky has been asking for your help with his online dating for two weeks now and while you're always happy to help him, it just sucks seeing someone get his attention that you wish you had.

You roll out of bed, not caring about how you looked and exit your apartment, knocking on Bucky's door.

He swings open to reveal him in a tight blue henley and some black jeans, "Hey!" he shoots you a grin and moves aside to let you in, "So, um, this girl, Janine. We've been messaging for a few days now and she wants to meet up. Is that too soon? And where should I take her? I've," he pauses to chuckle to himself, "I haven't dated since the forties so..."

Despite your feelings for him, you knew Bucky deserved to be happy, especially after all the shit he's gone through.

"Hm, well, what kind of vibes are you getting from her?"

"Vibes?"

"Yeah, um, what feelings do you get when you talk to her? Do you feel happy? Do you want to get to know her more?"

"Uh, yeah, I suppose so. I think it'd be nice to meet her in person and get to know her more face to face."

"Then yeah, take her out. But since it's your first time meeting her in person, it should be something casual. Low key, no pressure. A decent restaurant or a bar is probably best."

Bucky nods, "Yeah. Okay. Um, do you think you could help me pick something out?"

You can't help but laugh, "Bucky, I'm sure whatever you choose to wear, you'll be fine."

"Okay. Thanks, Y/N," he slowly wraps his arms around you for a hug, but not too tight in case you're uncomfortable. You surprise him by hugging him back, giving him a little squeeze, "You're welcome, Bucky."

It was Saturday and you didn't have work. You friends asked you to hangout with them, but you didn't want to. You wanted to stay holed up in your apartment, wallowing because Bucky would be going on his date with Janine tonight.

You're mindlessly watching tv , curled up on the couch. You turn your face into the pillow and scream in frustration. You should've just asked him out when you had the chance, but now that chance is gone.

You groan as you roll off the couch and head to your balcony. You just need some fresh air. You push up your window and climb onto the metal balcony. You sit on the outdoor chair you have there and stare up into the night sky. The stars are twinkling, the moon is shining. It looks like a perfect night for a date and here you are, alone.

"Hey-"

"AAAHHH!" you scream by the sudden appearance of Bucky on his own balcony. You're staring at him wide eyed, hand on your chest.

Bucky couldn't help but laugh at your expression, "Sorry."

You shake your head and stand to meet him, "It's fine. What're you doing here? I thought you were on your date."

"Yeah, uh, turns out Janine didn't, what phrase did you use once, pass the vibe check?"

You snort, covering your mouth as you giggled. Bucky's smile grows at the sound and you pull yourself together, "Um, yeah that's it. But I'm sorry."

He shrugs, leaning against the railing, "Honestly, it's okay. I don't think the online dating thing is really for me. I think I'll probably stick to the old fashion way: meeting in person and asking them out on a date."

"That's understandable," you say with a nod.

"So how 'bout it?"

You look at him confused, "How 'bout what?"

"Do you wanna go on a date sometime?" you give a look of surprise and Bucky immediately adds, "But I totally understand if you don't want to. I just-you're nice, and beautiful, and funny I thought maybe-but we're friends so I totally understand if you don't-"

"No, no. Bucky, I just-I'd love to go on a date with you."

"Yeah?" You nod and he holds out his hand, "Come on then."

You give a nervous chuckle, "What?"

"I picked up a pizza after that disastrous date. We can eat and watch a movie. Casual and no pressure, right?"

You look from his striking blue eyes to his outstretched glove hand. You reach out to place your hand in his but then pull back, "Wait. I should probably change."

You step back to head back into your apartment, but Bucky grabs your hand, "You don't have to. You look great."

You chuckle and begin to climb from your railing to Bucky's, with his help, "Alright, Prince Charming. I expect to be wooed tonight."

"Of course you do, which is why I ordered pizza from your favorite place and I'm letting you pick the movie we watch."

"Bucky Barnes, I could kiss you!" you exclaim thoughtlessly but then you realized what you just said. You shook your head and began to ramble off excuses, "No no! I mean not now! Now that I don't want to kiss you. You're very kissable. Not that I imagine kissing you or anything it's just-"

Bucky leans in and gives you a little peck on the cheek, "I don't kiss until after the date's over, doll. So will that suffice for now?"

You could feel your cheeks heating up as you nodded and squeaked out, "Yup!"

He chuckled, taking your hand in his again and leading you to the couch where the pizza was waiting for you.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #fem!reader #fatws spoilers #falcon and the winter soldier

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penrose-quinn · 3 years

Text

Couldn’t Tell

“You know,” you smiled. “Keep this up, and he’ll start to think I’m gonna replace him.”

It’d just been a casual joke. Even if it wasn’t, Wakasa doubted that, but he still asked.

“You think so?”

pairings: wakasa imaushi/reader ❁ background (oblivious) shinichiro sano/reader

content tags: companion piece prequel to green light and spin-off to lost generation. tokrev manga spoilers. first gen black dragons ultraviolence era. gender neutral reader. reader is a bit of a menace and so is wakasa. growing up together and growing apart. oblivious mutual pining. denial of feelings. mostly friendship. the ambiguity of teenage crushes. tw: violence, shady gang behavior, juvenile crimes like battery and shoplifting, a mention of child pornography and a creep (no one in bd is violated but there's a passing encounter with one), and underage drinking.

a/n: can't believe i'm really expanding on that one brief mention of wakasa, but here we are lol. this is mostly platonic!first gen black dragons x reader but more waka, and shin's the center of everyone's world so yeah. heads-up, tw for underage drinking. they’re minors in that one scene, but in the next one they’re at least 18-19 but still.

lost generation ❁ green light ❁ read on ao3

“Don’t tell Shin about this . . .” his brow crept up slowly where you trailed off, only to interrupt yourself with an awkward cough. “He’ll freak out.”

Wakasa said nothing, about to clean the cut on your cheekbone with a washcloth, and you leaned back out of irritation. Sitting on the floor with him, you still attempted to put up a bluster of stubbornness, but your injuries didn’t let you, wearily slumping you back against the wall.

That didn’t mean you didn’t have your wild eyes on. You probably didn’t mean to look so dangerous – just a last, exasperated aftereffect from the heat of that scuffle earlier – but you fought for his attention. He’s a bit convinced you’d even claw for it.

“Imaushi-san.”

He thought you’re in no position to make demands, though you framed his name in the tone of an earnest request, so he’d shrug, maybe threaten another second more.

Maybe Shinichiro had rubbed off on him, scraping away the edges that made him ruthless, unchallenged.

But then again, it wasn’t like you cared who challenged you. Even that monster Tobe.

“Stay still.”

This time, he dabbed the washcloth on your cut without warning, though he made sure to not press too hard, which baffled you with a blink.

“I won’t tell him,” said Wakasa, and your mouth no longer hung open in protest, resigning to a sigh instead, as you angled your face for him in compliance the moment he began to wipe the streak of dried blood that ran down the side of your face.

You observed him, but whenever your gazes met, you’d pore your attention on something else.

Christmas in Ginza was rather eventful.

Wakasa thought about the gang fight they had with the Roppongi Blue Devils earlier, and then back to you, ambushed right after.

“What do you have against Tobe anyway?”

“He had a score to settle with me,” you shrugged, but you didn’t elaborate further. “You know him?”

“He used to be a member of Kodo Rengo,” Wakasa answered, pausing to linger on a reflective, “before I . . .”

“Black Dragons,” you finished with a nod, and then you scratched the back of your neck, eyes lowered down bashfully. “Oh. Um, sorry?”

He faltered in his ministrations for an interval, hand hovering above your wrist, waiting.

“He must’ve been your friend, I guess. I sort of dislocated his shoulder,” you explained, as if he wasn’t with you to witness it all himself. You’re mangled now, but you didn’t really need his help back there. “I don’t regret it. I mean, he did some damage on me too, but well . . .”

Wakasa huffed out a chuckle, resuming to apply salve on the hideous gash on your right forearm, and you tensed from the brush of his fingertips, more from his reaction than the mild sting of the antiseptic.

Even so, he took it upon himself to be gentle on the raw skin from the jut of your elbow; in his opinion, a tad indulgent from the last swipe there, though you didn’t comment on it nor did he on the manner your throat bobbed, swallowing on nothing. He assumed that you’re just mulling over his slip earlier, and then proceeded rolling the gauze around your forearm.

“That’s between the two of you,” Wakasa replied, bearing no ill will, as he tied a knot on your palm. “It’s none of my business.”

“Thank you,” you murmured after he’s done treating your wounds.

“Sure.”

Your fingers lightly touched the bandage patch on your cheek, and Wakasa tried not to dwell on the warmth of your skin, almost close to burning. He thought of abrasion, and then back to your gaze wandering around his room until it was fixed on the trophies gathering dust on the mounted shelf above his study table.

“You competed,” you said in awed realization, even though he was indifferent about it nowadays when the last time he joined in any of those martial arts tournaments was before he got himself thrown in juvie. “Explains a lot. The way you fight.”

“So you trained too?” He didn’t exactly take up karate, but he recognized the form in your kick.

“Yeah, back then. At the Sano family dojo.”

“Sano, huh. Why does he still suck at fighting then?”

“Beats me. He always bailed training,” you recalled, lips curving up in nostalgia. “Said he’d rather go off be a delinquent.”

There’s a question that sat quietly between his lips, but he figured it’d be too obvious and there wasn’t anything much to pursue about it now.

Wakasa reclined back against the wall next to you and pulled out a lollipop from his pocket, which you stared at intently.

“Do you have more of those?”

“What for?”

“I gotta bribe my niece.” When he regarded you with confusion, you tilted your head at him, tacking on a question. “No little sister?”

“No. What does bribing have to do with that?”

You lifted a shrug. “Easier to talk to girls.”

Now, that intrigued him. Perhaps, in a curious sense whether you had more of a shot with them than your best friend because he wasn’t going to be that surprised if you did have a few admirers.

Perhaps, if you’re reputation didn’t precede you and that you could tone down the harsh reservation you built around you like a cold wall. Like right now, offhanded and a bit curious, and even though you still acted like a stiff, you looked more like you could breathe a little better, smile a little wider.

Wakasa wondered if Shin was actually trying to hoard this side of you all for himself.

“And they’re better at keeping secrets.” Then your voice was softer, more than you’d probably admit: “Me and my niece have a pact, you see. Gotta honor that.”

Wakasa snorted. “Over candy?”

“Keiko has a sweet tooth,” you reasoned. “She’s also the one who unlocks the door for me when I sneak out this late.”

Then your hand slid in your pocket, rummaging for something. “I’ll pay up, if you want.”

Although Wakasa already repaid you for backing him up from the previous fight, he humored you anyway when he fished out his least favorite lollipop from his desk drawer. Sure, he found you amusing now, but you weren’t worth losing any of his lemon lime and sour apple ones.

You bartered two sticks of gum and a fifty yen coin.

Wakasa considered it with a wry glance before just taking the gum in exchange of a lollipop.

Unwrapping one, he stuck it on his mouth. Spearmint. "Fifty yen can't buy you shit."

You shrugged. "Not when you have another fifty."

"Might as well give me a hundred then."

"Too late. You chose the gum."

Well. It wasn't like he was planning to give it back.

Arashi Keizo was easier to read.

For all their disparities and long-standing disputes, they were delinquents through and through.

Wakasa could say the same for someone bullheaded like Takeomi, and to an extent, Shinichiro, even if he’d been an enigma more than anything.

Then beside him was you, and as astute as he was in his observations, he couldn’t quite figure out where you exactly fall under when everyone else held a different kind of disaster to them. It wasn’t like you weren't, though he couldn't fathom why you wanted that part of you to be subdued.

It's what made you into such a walking contradiction.

You didn't look like a delinquent, but you felt like one. You’re also determined to amend that in the manner you spoke and the way you dressed.

Though it would only take a glimpse of your torn knuckles, the jut of your chin, and the insolence that had one charging forward with a raised fist, wild and half-crazed from adrenaline.

There’s a kind of vagrancy to you that no one saw closely. Perhaps, Shin had, but that's just how he was, and Wakasa wondered if this was what intrigued him about you, framed behind your glasses.

He didn't like them the first time.

It's what got him fooled about you. They’re fake, and you wore them for some reason. He wouldn't tell you that they never suited you; a second too distracted with the clarity that you looked more like yourself without them.

After he had crushed them under his heel.

Even he'd admit now that was a dick move at the time. Though he returned to this memory with a rather dull realization that you weren't upset at him because he stepped on your glasses.

It didn't exactly hit him at first. More like kick.

On the same, sore place he'd sent Sano Shinichiro to the hospital that day.

After all that, Wakasa wouldn't have thought that he could still find a place in the Black Dragons. Like how you did in your persistence to be set apart from them.

“Here,” you said behind him, and he nodded before parking at the side of the path.

Your house was smaller than Shin’s, ordinary and conforming within an equally ordinary and conforming neighborhood; a little far-off from what he’d known in the city, too quiet for his liking.

However, something about the potted plants at the front of your place set off a kind of sweetness from the others. It looked more lived-in, modest but in a charming way. He wasn’t sure where he drew that out from, though he wondered if it revealed something about you. He couldn’t quite see you as the type that watered geraniums in the morning.

You dismounted from his motorbike, making a poor attempt to appear unaffected by your wounds. Then unclipping the chain strap, you returned back his helmet, which he accepted but wouldn’t wear on his ride back. “Thank you again, Imaushi-san.”

Wakasa drawled out your name, lacking an honorific for emphasis. “Told ya to not be so formal.”

You considered it for a long moment. It made him a little impatient.

“Okay. Just don’t tell about tonight, all right?”

“Thought you and Shin-chan were close. Why’re you keeping things from him?”

You shrugged. “He doesn’t always have to know everything.”

That didn’t really answer why you’re so hellbent on hiding it.

“But I’d know.”

A soft pause. “Yeah, you’d know.”

And that’s how this friendship began between the both of you.

It’s uncalled for, and Wakasa still thought of you more like a case study for acting the way you did around him.

You grinned at how perplexed he was about this. There's a hint of blood on the slits of your teeth. You looked messed-up, and he’d like to think there’s just some stale gum stuck on his molars when he felt a tug from the corner of his mouth.

"Oi. Aren't we minors?"

Wakasa figured you'd be the kind of person to bring up something like that after going through the trouble stealing beer and snacks from a shop owner in Shinjuku, who to everyone's disgust and indignation owned child porn.

No one had qualms roughing him up and raiding his shop. The bastard deserved it anyway.

Yet for some unspoken reason, Wakasa could tell that everyone in the room had seen worse.

"Go be an uptight ass somewhere else," retorted Takeomi.

"Want me to kick yours?" you returned back.

“Bet I can—”

"All right! You two, cut that out."

Shinichiro would intervene as usual.

Wakasa wondered how long Shin had been putting up with this shitshow – when those two likely occupied a space in his heart for the longest time, any fool would notice – and although he really wasn’t that sentimental, it rewound glimpses of another time. It wasn't that long ago, just a year or so, and it wasn't pretty like this either, not that this garage should be with all this clutter and camaraderie.

There were boxes of junk and a poster of a Yamaha FZR1000R EXUP bedecked on the wall like a shrine. There's a garden outside that his grandfather tended to with such great care and everyone was still mindful enough to not step on shrubs or flick away cigarette butts like they'd been scolded little kids, scared shitless of the delicate mundanity of something they weren't apart of. Something Shinichiro welcomed them in because he'd been that guy to just stomp his foot stubbornly and say, why the hell not?

Wakasa wanted that kind of simplicity for himself or perhaps had lost it because the gutter of city streets weren't suburbia and between survival and criminality, those two often blurred if you didn't give a damn. Turf wars only brought out the worst in people; each vendetta brutal and blood-soaked just to best the other until nothing else mattered anymore.

How amusing, he thought anyway, calmly sitting side by side with his one and only rival in Shinichiro’s garage.

"Just take the beer," Benkei cut in, reaching a bottle to you. "Or not."

You blew out a sigh, accepting the beer, but Wakasa was the one that got the grunt of your temper.

The truth was he didn't mind at all. He'd rather you be like that.

"This ain't a show."

Wakasa shrugged. "I beg to differ."

Then you opened a bag of chips, helping yourself with a mouthful, and then you offered it to him as to make up for snapping back earlier. His hand stretched forward to reach.

You aspired to be a boring person.

Shinichiro would mock your resolve by unintentionally sabotaging you from that path in life. Takeomi settled with just calling you both dumbasses. Benkei would still puzzle over your words, still coming out blank, though Wakasa thought that anyone who made a promise out of them must be the most miserable people for making themselves appear more interesting than they actually were.

He was right, of course.

Because as it turned out, you were just weird.

Shinichiro laughed at that. Must've known deep down that anyone who was close friends with him was in some way.

For one, you wanted to look like a valedictorian, but you're lousy with algebra equations. Wakasa was no better when he hardly remembered anything in his classes or had attended them in awhile. Though he couldn't help but watch you when he caught you finishing it before a meeting. It looked doomed from the start, but you’re studious when you'd get it right after three flustered attempts and a bottle of roasted barley tea. He rewarded you with Mitarashi dango from the stall he frequented in Ameyoko, and you ate the rest of it even though he would learn later on from Shin that you disliked dangos.

You’re unfairly good at memorization. You read a lot too, but that’s because you preferred short stories over novels. You didn't have much patience for the latter, as you did with most things.

He knew you liked that book about a psychiatric patient meeting kappa people because you thought it's bizarre – in a comforting way, like reading your first ghost story. You had a small collection of Akutagawa's works, and you liked manga that was similar to Junji Ito's, with the exception of Ranma ½.

Your sister got you into it. That's the only time you spoke about your family, albeit everyone knowing who your brother was.

The slightest mention of him had people shuddering the moment you were there within earshot because your brother was a delinquent from a fearsome generation, and if he was still anything like the stories, then mouths were better off shut – unless they'd be sealed for good, six feet under.

You, however, didn't waver like them. The mere thought of him always made you livid like a bruise, angry and aching.

Wakasa never knew what happened, and perhaps, it's for the best that the past remained unearthed in lieu of the mildness Shinichiro had brought out of you.

You shared everything with him: childhood, cigarettes, and all.

There's really something between the two of you that no one could put into words.

The worst one that had ever been mustered up was from a snide remark about him sucking you off so you could win his fights for him and the unfortunate bastard was battered up so bad he coughed blood and teeth. Shinichiro had to stop you himself.

The both of you were open about the fact that you didn't even see each other that way.

You're more vocal about it and other things about him.

Like going on a tangent about being a firm believer that Shinichiro must've been a single auntie in a past life because he doted on little kids, he always had candy that he gave away, and he gossiped a lot more than any other teenage boy. His cooking was below average, but he made sure no one ever starved around him. He was warm.

It wasn't as if Wakasa didn't believe you, but there's a deep fondness in your eyes whenever you spoke about Shin; eyes that were intense and strong and vivid with emotion; eyes that were looking at him.

He wondered what you saw.

"You're more like a bird than a big cat."

Benkei guffawed.

That earned him a kick on the shin, and he retaliated with a swing of his arm before chuckling under his breath. "Fucking big cat, I swear. Why's he a bird then, eh?"

Wakasa sent you a stare that dared you, and you stared back unfalteringly with a smile.

"I've never seen anyone kick as high as that. Looks more like he's flying."

"Well, would you look at that. You're being praised, birdie."

With a block, Benkei dodged the following kick. It's slower than the last time.

Wakasa didn't break eye contact with you, but he didn't say a word.

The only time he did was when you were finally alone with him.

"You," Wakasa said. "What else?"

"Huh?"

"What else do you have to say about me?"

"Look, I'm not mocking you when I compared you to a bird, but I meant what I said. You really do look like you're flying," you clarified before opening up again, more passionate about it this time, "it's cool. You're cool."

There's something else stuck inside your mouth. It lingered in the silence; your eyes averted, abashed.

Wakasa wanted to tug it out of you, but he found himself too fixated over your words. Something about them made him want to soar.

"I think you're cool too," he told you this with an honesty that had taken him aback more than you had. It lacked the usual, lackluster drawl in place of something softer, close to a whisper, but he figured you'd be the only one who got to hear it. He'd rather it just be you.

“You don't mean that," you replied, making him raise a brow at you.

"What makes you think so?"

"You're just being nice," you sighed with an uncertain gaze. "I don't know why. But you're always nice."

"I'm not,” said Wakasa. He and Benkei just beat up an entire gang; the leader had his jaw broken from the force of his foot. You covered for him so he could go for the finishing blow, even though you took more damage from it. All of you probably weren’t nice, though that didn’t matter to him. “But I meant it."

Then he threw back your words at you with a sly bend of his lips.

"You don't have to fly to make me say that."

“You look like you’ve just woken up.”

You were about to wave your hand at him, though it stopped midway only for your arm to fall back and prop against the leg that’s crossed against the other, palm bent by your chin, shoulders slouched.

There’s a soft languidness in your stare, but that didn’t make you any less awake, peeved, after huffing a little. “You’re not wrong.”

Wakasa stared at the coffee can beside you, and then back to your face, the slight ruffle of your hair.

“Why aren’t you in uniform?” he asked.

“Still in the wash,” you slurred a bit after a yawn. “I kind of forgot we had a meeting today. Told Shin I should just skip it, but he insisted.”

You're in a t-shirt and a pair of joggers, though what really caught his attention was the sandals and the inked head of a dragon slithering on your right ankle, partially hidden under the cuff of your pants. If you weren’t so discreet about it, everyone would've known by now that your tattoo spiraled up to the length of your calf. Honestly, why get one if you're just going to hide it in the first place?

“You should’ve worn something warmer,” scolded Wakasa, starting to unbutton his gang jacket. “It’s cold out.”

You quirked a brow at him at first before abiding with a shrug, standing up to put it on you but somewhere along the way, your hands must’ve missed and his acted on their own when he draped it on you.

There’s an obscure point where your shoulders eased and his thumb brushed on your collarbone.

Wakasa wondered if he’s crossed the line, though he was quiet and distracted when he watched you slip your arms into the sleeves of his jacket.

Then you sent him a funny look in return when you stared at his sweatshirt paired with his boots and boiler pants, and found how terribly mismatched the both of you were, like a myriad of complicated things trying to figure each other out, and he thought that it wasn’t that farfetched.

“Shouldn’t you be in uniform? You’re a captain.”

Didn’t make him any less, so he shrugged, hand on his pocket. Perhaps from negligence, there’s still a candy wrapper inside; his idle fingers clutching onto it, not knowing whether it’s a gum or a lollipop one.

“You know,” you smiled. “Keep this up, and he’ll start to think I’m gonna replace him.”

It’d just been a casual joke. Even if it wasn’t, Wakasa doubted that, but he still asked.

“You think so?”

You didn’t exactly give an answer, but you weren’t looking at him anymore. “Can anyone really replace him?”

Then his eyes followed after yours, on the stone platform where Shinichiro made his grand entrance.

Everyone stood upright from his presence alone. The meeting was about to commence.

His lips curled up. “Guess not.”

The both of your gazes weren’t without respect and admiration for him from this distance; the solemn flap of his gang jacket spreading out behind him like the cowl of the night, emblazoned in gold.

Even though Wakasa agreed with you that it probably hadn’t been washed and it stunk of cigarettes. Benkei chided the two of you after clearing his throat, which suspiciously sounded more like a snort of amusement than anything else.

“I like yours better, though,” you whispered, still clad in his jacket, and a little lost from your words, Wakasa didn’t tell you that you shouldn’t forget yours next time.

But next time had become your last time when you made the decision to quit the Black Dragons.

Posture proud and rigid and arms tucked behind your back, you bowed at them to your waist, with the last, flaming blaze of the sunset falling over your shoulder. Some would like to believe it was the early twilight of an era when your shadow had appeared taller that day.

“Thank you for having me!”

Wakasa couldn’t even find it in himself to badger you for the formality.

Later down the line, Shinichiro would disband the gang and the few remnants would take over after them, like the passing of another day, and whenever Wakasa looked back to it now, his commander had eyes set at looking forward, even if the brighter times must come to an end.

“Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t hang out,” said Shinichiro, resolute as ever.

“Didn’t think I was so missed,” a handful of snorts, and then you sighed. “All of you didn’t have to scare off my seniors, though.”

“That’d be Kei’s ugly mug.”

“You’re the one who threatened the teacher!”

“He was pissin’ me off,” Wakasa said insouciantly before twirling the lollipop in his mouth. “How’s cram school by the way?”

“Boring.” You frowned with a hand under your chin, no longer telling them that you’d also been occupied prepping up for college entrance exams for weeks. “Well, seems more like I’m the one that missed out. What are you all up to?”

“We put some punks from Kichijoji in their place for trying to mess with us,” Takeomi bragged. “Ain’t that right, Shin?”

“Yeah, yeah, anyway,” dismissed Shinichiro with a wave, and something about his disinterest hurt Takeomi a little. “I’m taking an apprenticeship for the summer. Yoneda-san’s gonna have me in his motor shop.”

Shinichiro was excited about it because everyone knew how much he dedicated himself into gaining his knowledge on motorcycles. He was already somewhat of a mechanic in a way when he'd volunteer to fix their bikes if they broke down, wrecked, and he'd tinker on a dead engine for hours on end.

It's one of those moments where his passion shined through when he really didn't seem to have as much motivation being in school and whatever it offered there.

All of them were aware that Benkei was working in a small gym from Nishi-Azabu, though what surprised them was that Wakasa had been referred by him to take the job opening for full-time assistant trainer. Shrugging, he planned to start next week.

Takeomi was blatant about wanting to be rich a long time ago, maybe own a club in the future.

Talks of dreams and stories went about over pizza. They were drinking Coca Cola awhile ago until someone snuck alcohol in there, mixing it in their glasses in small doses.

They were careful to never let it anywhere near Mikey who joined for pizza slices and listened in the conversation with curious eyes. The moment he drifted away to watch TV back in the house was when all the recklessness began after the suggestion of beer pong because first, there was no beer; second, one of them brought up the psychotic idea to let the loser down a cocktail of Coca Cola, gin, and hot sauce; third, it devolved into chaos when it turned into a competition.

Backs were stabbed, curses were thrown. Benkei flipped a stool. You slipped on an ice cube. Takeomi accidentally spilled gin on Wakasa's hoodie. Shinichiro was probably crying at some point. Everyone was getting sick of junk food. There's a mess on the floor of the garage. It was just two in the morning.

It was stupid fun.

Despite it all, you're the first one to pass out. Not really from the alcohol, but you’re quick to doze off after you still had the stomach to finish the leftover pizza. Everyone stared at you curled up on the floor, mumbling in your sleep.

Shinichiro would speak on your behalf that you were probably tired, but Wakasa was already on the move to carry you to his bedroom once he began lifting you up, unconcerned whether he roused you awake. He’d rather you be, but you’d always been such a heavy sleeper.

There’s something off about how Shinichiro assessed this, however.

Perhaps, he was just a little stunned that he hadn’t done it first – or someone else had done it for you – though he nodded it off, instructing him where the extra futons were in the house, and simply smiled. It’s too smooth, lacking that playful crookedness, when he noticed your arm resting on his shoulder.

His eyes lingered a second too long just before Takeomi pulled him into his stride with a rag, doing something responsible for once.

Benkei watched them, but he didn’t ask him if he needed help with you, concerning himself with a trash bag.

When you were settled on the bed, it’s starting to dawn on him why you thought he’d overreact on certain things – were you aware or were you just as oblivious? – and while Wakasa couldn’t brush aside the way Shinichiro looked at you, he couldn’t help but feel selfish about this, like he’s trespassing on something that he shouldn’t.

Like he’s trampling it all down, and he’d done it before without remorse to enemies, to weaker people, but he liked Shin.

Then he stared at you and sighed.

Wakasa gently removed your glasses, untucking a few strands, and he would brush them back from your face, soft from sleep and the subtle, ambient glow of a lamplight from the window, passing through the blinds. The both of you were striped in white against the indigo shadows of the room, and there’s a part of him that thought it’s nice that you almost looked the same.

He felt like he could reach you like this. He wondered if he could. If he should.

Tender from the pads of his fingers.

The glint of silver helix studs distracted him, twin stars on your ear.

Wakasa remembered complimenting you, searching for the expression of your face. The day was an October gray, and the wind was harsher on your hair, tousling it all over the place. He couldn’t take you seriously when you gave up keeping it still until it compelled his hand, pushing them back behind the curve of your ear.

Nice piercings, he told you back then, and something about your hair and words tangled from that, lips slightly agape. He leaned closer for a better look.

There’s a strand at the corner of your mouth, though a name curled along there now, barely a whisper, and he didn’t want to know whose it was. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to know at all.

"I kissed someone," you said in the middle of the crossing. "It didn't feel right."

Silence fell for a long, stagnant moment, yet the both of you kept moving, and so did the words that didn't make sense to him.

"No one gets it right the first time," was the only thing he offered, and as your eyes wandered to the madding crowd, a little disheartened, it's all what he could think about that afternoon.

“You’re moving to Nagoya,” Wakasa repeated, letting the thought sink down and drown him.

“Yeah . . .” you said as if you’re still taking it all in yourself; your smile thin, but you’re sucking on sour candy and he understood you with his own, slowly starting to unravel behind his teeth.

"Meidai's a good university," you made it sound like you're trying to convince yourself that, and he went silent for a minute. Something awful dangled on his mouth.

“That’s pretty far,” he mused, drawing in another breath.

“Not that far.” But far.

“How did Shin-chan take it?”

“Well, I guess,” you lowered down to a pensive mumble.

There’s a stillness to both of your hands; not meeting to touch but close.

“Then—” Wakasa caught himself before the words slipped, cloying and sour on his tongue.

Don’t go.

“I’m happy for you.”

All five of you gathered at Shibuya station.

Shin insisted, though it was Benkei who swooped you up for a hug, making you breathe out a surprised laugh.

Benkei would always charge forward with how he expressed himself, whether from a fight or fondness, and it nearly had you in mid-air but you weren't one to back down either, clinging back to him.

Then an exchange of encouraging words and a few dad jokes, and that kicked off a trend that had all of you making such a small scene in public. Even so, they didn't care if they were.

Takeomi only relented after Shinichiro pushed him and he began to uncross his arms, sighing from his nose. The hug was stiff and awkward that it had the rest of them grunting out a chuckle at the sight.

Takeomi had too much pride to show affection, but he did make an effort with a lean and three pats on your back. The moment his hair splayed on your face, you jolted back petulantly. "Cut your damn hair."

"Fuck off," retorted Takeomi.

You were grinning at each other, all harmless profanity instead of best wishes.

Then you walked up to him. You still had your glasses on, but there’s a meaningful look in your eyes.

Before Wakasa could take a step forward, you didn't wait for him as you wrapped your arms on his sides. He froze at first, though something about your warmth thawed his initial shock from the embrace, and he felt himself loosen for a long, wistful moment where he could slide his arms around you, nestling his chin on the curve of your shoulder.

You harbored so much brutal strength though you felt delicate, bird-boned. He wanted to trace out your wings with a fingertip.

You likened him to a bird once, but you were the one that was about to take flight and disappear.

Wakasa was uncertain whether he wanted this to last or not, though he was sure that this was the only time he'd hold you like this. He whispered your name and you whispered his back, unspoken words lost to each other's hair, but the sentiment was all soft and well-meaning, quieter than a farewell. The two of you were a little older now to understand what this meant.

Then he lingered for a heartbeat before he unwound himself, thinking this was enough.

“Okay, that's about it,” you stated.

“Oi.”

“Bye, Shin.”

Then his hand hooked on the hood of your jacket. You let him drag you back to him like an idiot.

That’s right. The both of you were idiots, and Wakasa smiled.

You tilted your head at him. “What? No tears for me?”

Then Shinichiro embraced you, like he could engulf you within his arms.

You looked like you’re about to give in to a cry.

“You're gonna come back anyway,” he said stubbornly, sniffling. You didn’t complain that you’d get snot on your collar.

Shinichiro held you tighter, half-buried by your hair. He had a place in the space where your jaw met your throat, perhaps warm with tears.

You stared at all of them from his shoulder, but you were smiling sadly for him.

You didn’t want to let go of him the most.

“Take care of him.”

Shinichiro cared so much about you.

He wouldn’t admit it, but he didn’t have to.

He searched for you in gazes, in the vacant seat next to him, in every little, insignificant thing. He’d always try to bring you up in conversations, as if to keep your presence near and important, and recount how you were based from your calls and messages. However, the following months took a toll on him when you got busier, more distant now than ever.

Because there’s this miserable truth about him.

Shinichiro was open to talks, to friendships, to shedding his tears for the smallest of reasons, though for someone so ardent and emotional, he didn’t let himself truly be vulnerable around anyone. Except you.

But you weren’t here. Wakasa wished you were, melancholic over your absence and the gap it left between them.

“You could trust me,” he said; the last trace of sour-sweetness on his lollipop stick was an afterthought, and bereft, he still tried, “Shin, what’s wrong?”

“Don’t tell anyone . . .” Shinichiro sighed, and it felt as if you never left at all.

“We’ll all hang out together again someday,” Wakasa reassured him, even after being weighed down over what he knew for the longest time.

He wasn’t in school anymore, but the feeling was awfully similar, like how one passed notes in class, all the while carrying the sentiment that he was in on the secret that wasn’t much of a secret at all.

Senju wasn’t all what he expected as Takeomi’s little sister.

There’s a fierceness in her eyes that he hadn’t seen anywhere else.

“Fight me!”

Bullheaded too, like her older brother.

Who had apparently shirked his responsibilities as one for spending the rest of the night in Kabukicho.

Wakasa couldn’t remember when he had agreed to babysit a demanding child, though Benkei was opposed to leaving her alone with a hungover Takeomi back at home. He also couldn’t remember when he began to enjoy his sessions with said demanding child, who’d been exuberant in her potential, her high kicks unmatched in the training grounds. He never doubted that she would soon be a force to be reckoned with.

He could say the same for Mikey, though he liked Senju more.

Instead of sweets, Wakasa traded tact and blows in the gym. He’s better at this than he thought.

Guess we have a pact now.

“—hey, don’t hang up just yet!”

Shinichiro exclaimed from a private room of the motor shop, making Seishu raise his head a bit from the couch, and Wakasa and Benkei mirrored the boy with as much inquisitiveness.

Then he barreled out of the door with a broad grin. He looked younger again, hollering out your name.

“Benkei and Waka are here. Greet ‘em,” said Shinichiro, gesturing them to come closer. Then he reached out the phone, waiting on his palm.

Benkei nodded off to Wakasa to take it, and regarding his friend with mild annoyance, he did with a sigh.

Reluctantly. “Hi.”

Then a second of static.

“Oh. Hi Waka,” you said. You almost sounded like a stranger at first, but you got his name right.

Wakasa would say yours back, not meaning for it to roll off a little foreign out of his mouth. He hoped you could hear that he was smiling, though there’s no way of telling on the other line.

“How are you?”

#wakasa imaushi x reader #wakasa imaushi x you #wakasa imaushi x y/n #shinichiro sano x reader #sano shinichiro x y/n #shinichiro sano x you #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers scenarios #tokyo revengers spoilers #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers #shinichiro sano #wakasa imaushi #black dragons #pen writes #i honestly don't know what i wrote but imma go read waka fluff fics instead bc i hate it here ;-;

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miraculouscontent · 3 years

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*rubs hands together*

The first thing to talk about with this episode is the pacing, and I think this might contribute to why people think it’s the best/least bad of Season 4 (personally, I’d rather watch “Furious Fu” but that’s just me; also, this isn’t the only contributing factor as to why I think people might feel this way, but I’ll get there later).

The episode has a very serious pacing issue, particularly with its more intense scenes. There’s only one minute of time dedicated to Ladybug landing on her bed, de-transforming, and her snapping at her friends plus them leaving. More time was spent on Chat Noir and Ladybug in the movie theater and Ladybug storming out.

I particularly remember watching the episode and getting eighteen minutes in, at which point I had the realization of, “It feels like nothing’s happened?”

This episode is supposed to be a big gut punch, but the season has been going by at the speed of sound, like they’re trying desperately to play all their cards at once (Lukanette break-up, Adrimi break-up, then Alya is told Marinette’s secret identity). Instead of letting things build and play out for a while in the interest of suspense, the show just throws whatever will get a big reaction out of the fandom (whether positive or negative) and it doesn’t care how shoddily put together everything is. The first two episodes feel like hastily put together drafts, and while this one is technically more put together, it still feels like a draft.

Let’s just start with Chat Noir, who feels completely out of place in the episode. Not only does he imply that he intentionally calls Ladybug “Bugaboo” (which she has told him to stop doing) in order to get a reaction out of her, but when Ladybug insists that she doesn’t want to talk, he tricks her into thinking that he has a good location to do so (and my heart breaks a little at how readily she trusts him) only to then take her to a romantic movie, then shush her when she calls him out for it because she “said she didn’t want to talk.”

Gee, and people wonder why she didn’t tell him her secret (even outside of “Chat Blanc” existing)?

And... look, I know it’s a joke, but I do not find it funny. The “joke” is basically that Chat Noir is taking advantage of the situation to flirt with Ladybug, and though I find it at least mildly cathartic that Ladybug is unaffected by all the people staring at them while Chat Noir is embarrassed, this episode is coming right after the one where Kagami broke up with Adrien, and here Chat Noir is getting his flirt game on. I already talked about all my problems with “Lies” so I won’t do it again, but I’ll just say that it’s not a mystery why Ladybug doesn’t want to talk to him and would rather avoid her problems.

(Not to mention that Ladybug knows that Chat Noir likes her, so talking about her romantic problems with him is awkward to say the least and would come off as insensitive.)

Honestly, at this point I feel like they must be building to something with Chat, like Ladybug finally going off of him with no mercy and that forces him to give up/fall out of love for her because reverse love square, but if that’s what they intend to go for, then that means Marinette is going to fall for this guy who’s repeatedly disrespected her feelings for multiple seasons, almost abandoned her and let Paris drown because she wouldn’t tell him a secret that wasn’t hers to tell, and just generally all the other things he did????

Ugh, I don’t wanna think about it. Let’s just move on.

Talking about Ladybug and her rant next, it basically summarizes the whole show in a nutshell, but simultaneously casts a shadow of sorts over “Truth” for people who maybe missed the episode entirely (which is also sort of the show in a nutshell). I mean, Ladybug confirming to the audience that she was genuinely in love and happy with Luka (you can’t watch how depressed she was over the break-up and not think that) was great, but Ladybug’s dialog implies that Luka “hated secrets” and that’s why they broke up, when Luka was more just... hurt that she couldn’t be honest with him, and he didn’t actively hate secrets. Marinette broke up with him because she felt like she had to; because she had to keep ditching and lie to him.

In addition, what she says also hints to the audience that they’ve both held and kissed each other, which not only indicates cowardice on the part of the staff (”yeah this happened but--um--off-screen; we’d still like credit tho plz”), but may perhaps go back to the theory I had about how Adrimi and Lukanette were supposed to last longer in Season 4 but their arcs got cut (based on the Adrimi kiss having supposed to have gone off). This could mean that Ladybug’s statement was originally accurate to canon but the scenes got cut and the scriptwriters just awkwardly left it in, which is made more awkward by the cinema scene in “Truth” that felt like Luka and Marinette were kissing for the first time (again, alluding to the whole, “this entire season has been a draft” thing).

Also, if you think about what that actually means - that Luka and Marinette did have successful dates and kisses but they were off-screen - then all it adds up to is that showing Marinette happy and comfortable was something that the series didn’t deem as “interesting/fun enough” to show, because Marinette being happy isn’t something they want to see; only watching her be miserable, which is exactly what Ladybug says, along with how everything was “almost too simple, too easy,” because Marinette isn’t allowed to have nice things without being jammed through the wringer first.

And... sure, let’s say that Chat Noir thought the movie was genuinely a good idea; let’s assume that it could be a joke, him wanting to flirt, and him believing that it’d make her feel better somehow.

If that’s the case, then where’s the apology when it fails miserably? Ladybug goes from her semi-anxious state at the start of the episode (a little scatterbrained but ultimately just looking for a distraction), to outright enraged by the movie, and then to this upon leaving the cinema.

She just got her heart broken from being forced to break up with a boy she genuinely wanted to be with and there’s not a single, “Okay, maybe coming here was a bad idea, I’m sorry,” (which could’ve been seen as another joke with the audience like “lol no duh Chat Noir” so there’s no excuse not to have it) or, “My bad, that was insensitive of me. I really thought this would’ve helped but I wasn’t thinking about what you would’ve wanted.”

No. The only people Chat apologizes to are the other people at the theater because he’s embarrassed by Ladybug’s reactions, yet he himself feels no remorse for taking her there and has the gall to go on now about how he’s “there for her if she wants to talk.”

Again, it’s no wonder Ladybug doesn’t want to open up to him.

And I’m sorry, I just don’t buy that Marinette suddenly has all this free time. It’s one thing for her to have a little more time now that she’s broken up with her boyfriend (likely avoiding spending time with him altogether now), but “Truth” went out of its way to talk about all of the emergencies she had to deal with and how she doesn’t have any spare time. which is causing her to become forgetful and lose track of certain events (patrols with Chat, dates with Luka, etcetera), yet Marinette spends most of “Gang of Secrets” simply sulking on her bed. It’s so jarring to go from “Truth” where she was doing “too much” (which I called them out on for not describing what the “too much” she was doing was) and now “Gang of Secrets” where she’s not doing anything.

It’s almost like they invented that plot point to break Lukanette up and it served no purpose outside of it.

Furthermore, the scenes of her finally talking to Tikki and then deciding to live as Ladybug does nothing outside of making the plot more predictable, the latter because of the “Alya almost sees Ladybug” moment (an obvious indicator that Marinette is losing control and is struggling to maintain her secret identity due to her emotionally breaking down) and the former because of Tikki herself and what she doesn’t say.

Because, really, think about what actually goes on in the scene. Marinette (eyes rimmed red and filled with unshed tears, as she is for a good chunk of the episode) is venting to Tikki about - yes - her love life, but also that she has to lie to everyone in order to keep her identity a secret. The fact that Tikki focuses solely on the note of Marinette’s love life and not say a word about the identity/lying issue or even consider telling Marinette, “hey, this is clearly too much for you, you should tell someone, I think the benefits outweigh the risks right now,” really proves that the episode tried to avoid the topic altogether to try and make the ending more shocking (which ironically made it more predictable).

So yeah, not only does Tikki’s dialog with Marinette provide nothing except for a line about how she can’t help Marinette with love issues due to kwami not falling in love (alright, I guess aros can’t give good love advice then or have any input whatsoever), but Marinette’s line about lying to everyone being why she can’t pursue Adrien nor Luka is repeated in the very last scene of the episode. The only reason that scene and the scene after exist is because the writers needed Marinette to be emotionally devastated enough to leave for her balcony as Ladybug for the almost-reveal to Alya and so Rose would get close enough to the dollhouse to have an almost-reveal with the Miracle Box, making the scene feel further contrived because the emotional punch of Marinette wanting to live as Ladybug lasts for barely any time at all.

And it could’ve served a purpose, like if Ladybug had genuinely left and Alya finds her goggles and towel, recognizing them from a news story about how Ladybug had gone to the swimming pool after losing her temper at the cinema, which could’ve led to Shadow Moth making the girls believe that Ladybug was no longer heroic and had kidnapped Marinette, or... heck, Ladybug coming back inside would’ve been so much less jarring if she came back because she heard the girls’ voices talking about the dollhouse and had to hurry (but of course, then they’d have to point out the ridiculousness of Ladybug not hearing Alya calling her and the girls not hearing Ladybug literally shouting for Shadow Moth to come fight her, even though the kwami heard the girls calling for Marinette from the balcony).

But instead, the entire scene feels off and unnatural, forcing every part of it in order to get to where Marinette has to snap at the girls to make them leave.

(Oh, by the way, just a little detail to add to the annoyance: they bothered putting Tom and Sabine in the episode when the girls are leaving, clearly saddened by something that happened, and neither parent even bothers to go and check on Marinette to see if she’s upset or just to see what might’ve happened. They’re such a “blink-and-you’ll-miss it” moment in the episode and it’s not like I’m surprised because they’ve done this multiple times by now but really?)

As for the girls themselves... oof, where do I even begin?

Alright, first off is the annoyance that they assume Marinette’s problems relate only to lovesickness. Marinette has been an anxiety-prone mess throughout the entire series, and suddenly now the girls care about Marinette’s love problems on an emotional level rather than “we’ll meddle sometimes unless we don’t feel like it and be wholly inconsistent on how much we push for it.”? It’s not that I don’t see how they came to the conclusion (hearing that Luka and Marinette broke up and now seeing Marinette is depressed, it checks out), but considering they bothered noting that Marinette hadn’t told them anything, one would think they’d come to the conclusion of, “okay, we haven’t talked to her, we have no idea of what’s going on, maybe we don’t know her as well as we thought then and shouldn’t make guesses.”

Secondly is the “eternal friendship bracelet,” which comes off as a copy of the “Secrets” game from “Syren” extremely manipulative. Mylene goes on to explain that one is supposed to give a secret to the pearl “mentally,” yet when the girls actually show up to see Marinette, they expect to be told the secret directly. I’ve already talked at length about peer pressure and the mental stress Marinette goes through when they mock her and/or meddle for her, but this idea of, “well we all used this friendship bracelet after we mutually agreed to it so now it’s your turn because we said so!” just comes off really bad. I know the episode is going for this idea that their hearts are in the right place, but they’re really not. It feels like they’re the ones in denial and are trying to compensate by forcing Marinette to prove that they’re friends, unable to handle the idea that they might not be as close to her as they thought.

Thirdly, the show acts as if the girl squad are her only friends when we know that’s not true because we’ve seen episodes like “Befana” (the guys in the class), “Reverser” (Marc), “Ikari Gozen” (Kagami), and “Silencer” (Ivan) that all established Marinette having more friends than just them, but for the sake of “drama” and the depressing line of, “at least I don’t have any more friends to lie to,” the episode just pretends like Marinette’s friends are limited to Luka (who she had to break up with) and the girl squad (who she forced to leave and refuse the friendship of).

Fourthly is the actual set-up and the sheer grossness of it all. The girls call Marinette and leave a message about how they much they love her and how she can talk to them “where and when” she wants, and then - immediately afterwards - decide that they’re going to go straight to Marinette’s house completely unannounced, go into her room completely unannounced (not even knocking, by the way), and when Marinette begs them to leave, Alya basically tells her that she’s overreacting. When Marinette demands that they leave, Alya refuses and makes demands right back that they won’t leave until she tells them what’s wrong.

So much for “where and when” she wanted, right? It’s already one thing for the girls to invade Marinette’s privacy and demand/guilt-trip answers out of her, but it’s another thing to give the illusion of respecting her feelings and personal space only to actively plan to go back on it. I can’t tell if it’s a bad draft that they didn’t catch in quality check (you know, the quality check that they definitely don’t have) or just an intentional way to make them seem more sympathetic so Marinette looks worse for driving them out, but either way, it’s awful and I hate it. I would’ve rather had them be all in on invading Marinette’s privacy and learn a lesson in the end than outright contradict themselves.

There are also little nitpicks I could make (like Juleka’s constant mumbling despite Luka’s crush on Marinette playing a role in the episode, Horrificator getting sidelined due to being mute, and the girls’ akumatization ultimately being for spectacle and nothing else, serving no purpose to the plot and being furthered by the fact that Timebreaker goes after Marinette despite it being a bad idea and Reflekta’s power clearly not lining up with any sort of plan), but the real issue issue here comes down to the fact that these are Marinette’s so-called “friends” and the episode refuses to address their actual issues.

Alix, who is known for making rude comments at Marinette (”Gigantitan,” “Chat Blanc,” “Miraculous New York”) and then gives mixed messages by going along with meddling anyway.

Mylene, who is the closest thing to a background character in the girl squad but nevertheless finds her way into being definite voice against Marinette in “Chameleon.”

Juleka, who blamed Marinette for things she didn’t do in “Reflekdoll” and got huffy with her until Marinette apologized for said things.

Rose, who outright screamed at Marinette in “Chat Blanc” over a freaking stuffed animal, which pressured Marinette enough that she snuck into Adrien’s room to deliver her gift which nearly led to the end of the world.

And, of course, Alya; freaking Alya. I don’t even have to go into every single thing she’s ever done because I have a history of giving her absolutely no mercy.

...But let’s go through some anyway because I want to.

“Copycat” - Alya gives Marinette a script and tells her to memorize it, then immediately pushes the “call” button when Marinette hesitates after Marinette had just told Alya that she’s awful at improv.

“Darkblade” - Alya takes a jab at Marinette when Marinette says that she’s too busy to be class representative, implying that Alya thinks that Marinette does absolutely nothing with her time.

“Gamer” - Alya is busy recording the gaming competition when she and Marinette were supposed to be researching for a term paper. Alya then scolds Marinette for wanting to use the competition to get close to Adrien only to do a 180 and put up a fight about it when Marinette decides to quit.

“Animan” and how “The Puppeteer 2″ follows up on it - oh, I’m not going to touch that particular point right now, but keep those in the back of your mind, because I am going to absolutely go off later

“Simon Says” - Similarly to Marinette’s parents, Alya gives zero damns about whatever might be going on in Marinette’s life that's causing her to miss classes.

"Despair Bear” - Alya laughs at Marinette being forced to kiss Chloe’s cheek and then outright compares Marinette to Chloe after knocking Chloe multiple times during the episode (sure, just compare your “best friend” to her multi-year bully, how "hilarious” of you).

“Gigantitan” - Alya has no qualms about mocking Marinette’s over her failures, even if it embarrasses her and she’s been through enough already.

“Frozer” - Alya tries to find ways for Marinette to prevent herself from third-wheeling for Adrien, but when Marinette tries to show character growth by wanting to go, Alya gets into a shouting match with the other girls over how Marinette has “liked Adrien forever and isn’t going to give up now”.

“Catalyst” - Alya claims that Marinette is only salty over Lila out of jealousy when “Frozer” exists and literally is the prime evidence of Adrien liking another girl and Marinette telling Alya outright and very genuinely that she’s not jealous.

“Chameleon” - Alya doesn’t care about her best friend sitting in the back by herself while Alya herself get to sit next to her boyfriend and everyone else in general gets to sit where they want (Alya even acting confused at the mere suggestion that she’d tried to engineer things to let Marinette sit next to Adrien), then not only believes Lila over Marinette but contradicts herself twice (asking Marinette for proof when she has none herself, then claiming that she wouldn’t let her best friend sit by herself).

“Christmaster” - Alya leaves Marinette to babysit so she and Nino can go out on a date.

“Desperada” - Alya suddenly is for Lukanette for literally one episode and doesn’t know how/doesn’t even try to cover for Marinette’s Adrien blindness despite mocking her for multiple seasons over it.

“Reflekdoll” - Alya invites Adrien to something that’s crucial for Marinette to focus on after Marinette has already told her not to and continues meddling to the point where it gets Juleka akumatized (she also doesn’t get punished for it and the blame gets thrown onto Marinette).

“The Puppeteer 2″ - Alya pushes her luck with Nathalie to try and get Marinette to come with her, Nino, Adrien, and Manon to the museum, then traps Marinette in a room with Adrien to force her to spent alone time with him, even abandoning and forgetting about the child that she offered to watch for Marinette so she and her boyfriend can go off alone.

“Miraculous New York” - Alya is told directly by Marinette that she needs help seeing Adrien as a friend, which leads Alya to do the exact opposite throughout the entire special, at one point shouting at Marinette and pressuring her to chase after a car, in the rain, while there’s a supervillain rampaging through Paris, and all of this right after the scheme that Alya had set up caused both Marinette and Adrien to go missing.

And just saying, as Marinette’s supposed “best friend,” Alya sure doesn’t know how to handle her. It was acceptable back in “The Bubbler” when she asked Marinette about signing the gift too late and the same goes for “Dark Cupid,” but by the time we get to late Season 2/3 and Alya refuses to learn Marinette’s weak spots (unless it’s to mock her) and adjust accordingly (like if she’d already made sure the gift was signed in “Chat Blanc,” which would’ve prevented Adrien seeing Ladybug at all due to the time difference), it starts getting infuriating.

A best friend is supposed to cover for their friend’s weaknesses. Alya doesn’t do that; she meddles and often drives Marinette’s anxiety even further up a wall with absolutely no consideration for Marinette’s feelings (”Dark Cupid,” “The Puppeteer 2,” “Reflekdoll,” “Miraculous New York”).

And here, she and the other girls are rewarded for it. Luka actively resisted his akumatization whereas the girls gave in immediately, yet Marinette still opens up to them in the end, likely because they had pressured her and made her feel bad for the secrets she was keeping while Luka was willing to actually wait for her to be ready to talk to him. I can’t put into words how frustrating it is watching these girls trample all over Marinette’s feelings, not have their worst actions called out, and then jump cut post-deakumatization to Marinette telling them exactly what they wanted to know about her love life.

You know what this entire episode is really missing, outside of a coherent plot, properly-paced development, and a basic understanding of rewarding a character for things they’ve held firmly to?

It’s missing the apology. Chat Noir apologizes to a bunch of moviegoers and Rose apologizes for the broken dollhouse, but no one apologizes to Marinette for how they treated her, especially not the “friends” who got rewarded in the end.

“Sorry, we shouldn’t have told you that we’d respect your feelings and then showed up unannounced to make you talk about them.”

“We’re sorry we came into your room and invaded your privacy. You were right to be mad at us.”

“Oh my gosh, Marinette, we got akumatized and we’re so sorry for literally all five of us going after you and probably scaring the living daylights out of you.”

And as if that wasn’t enough, guess what else this is missing? It’s kind of important and brought up directly in the episode, yet the episode simultaneously goes out of its way not to bring it up again.

It’s the reason why Marinette didn’t tell the girls about her relationship with Luka. It’s not there - it’s missing - and the girls never try to pursue the subject. They talk about how Marinette didn’t tell them but don’t think for a second that maybe it’s them who have failed as friends. Instead, they don’t guess anything about why Marinette wouldn’t tell them (which is already strange considering how much they already assume about her) and jump straight to, “well clearly we just need to push for her to talk to us.”

Gonna just go out on a limb here and say that maybe - just maybe - Marinette didn’t tell them because they are habitually pushy in everything they do.

Because they would’ve teased her relentlessly about, “ohhhh you’ve got eyes for Luka? what about Aaaaaadrien~? aren’t you sooo tooorn between both of these cute guys?”

Because they would’ve meddled to force her and Luka together and gotten on her case when/if she ever had to bail on him.

Because their intrusion on her feelings for Adrien had caused her nothing but problems and she just wanted to be with Luka in peace without them forcing their way into things.

Because--hey, wild thought--maybe they’re not really friends???

But the episode completely avoids it, because that would’ve meant addressing it; it would’ve meant acknowledging that they messed up, which - fun fact - they actually don’t do in the episode.

They invaded Marinette’s privacy, insisted that she tell them how she feels (not about them of course because that would imply that they felt like they screwed up), and in the end it’s Marinette who gives them exactly what they asked of her, and the closest thing we get to acknowledging anything is Alix telling her/joking with her that they’ll help her confess to whoever she likes as soon as she tells them she’s ready.

That’s not an apology. That’s not an acknowledgment of wrongdoing. Even when the five of them are about to get akumatized, it’s not a circle of them saying, “here’s how I screwed up, I could’ve done better but I didn’t and I lost Marinette because of it.”

No. It’s just them talking about how sad the situation is. Mylene has the closest thing to remorse in saying, “I hoped it would work,” but where does it go? A grand total of nowhere, especially because Marinette still takes the bracelet in the end instead of the girls mutually deciding, “okay, maybe the bracelet was a bad idea; how about we all agree on making something together instead, no requirements attached?”

And then the episode has the gall to act as if Alya has gone through character growth when all they did was put Alya through the same thing that Chloe did. I’ll explain that last bit momentarily, but first let’s talk about the whole “growth” thing.

Because there’s no apology or acknowledgement of wrongdoing, all Alya does when she’s finally alone with Marinette is do a 180 from where she was at the start of the episode, going from, “friends have to tell each other everything,” to, “hey, if you don’t want to tell me, then that’s your right.”

The crucial part that’s supposed to go in the middle is missing. Instead of acknowledging her failures, Alya just cuts straight to “””being a better friend,”““ but storytelling doesn’t work that way.

It literally would have taken zero effort to fit an acknowledgement into that scene. “You don’t have to tell me everything, I get that now. All my meddling’s done is hurt you and I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t trust me.”

In a world where Marinette has to apologize for everything, has to learn lessons and suffer because the narrative says so, I will not accept anything less from other characters who are trying to develop and improve. That’s not fair to Marinette, nor has it ever been.

Instead of properly developing Alya, the show does whatever it can to get its audience to root for her as Marinette’s “best friend” (ugh) without having to put in the effort of admitting that Alya hasn’t been Marinette’s “best” friend.

Remember when I brought up Chloe? Yeah, “Malediktator” did a similar thing, showing Chloe doing something awful, then being sad (while not actually acknowledging the thing she did wrong), and in the end she was rewarded with a miraculous prematurely.

One show of character from Chloe and Marinette gave her a miraculous. One show of character from Alya and Marinette told her that she was Ladybug.

(Also, for the record, I think Chloe is far worse than Alya character-wise and I’m not comparing their characters; this is just the simplest comparison I can draw here from a narrative standpoint.)

“Miraculer” is another apt comparison, perhaps even more so. Chloe got Hawk Moth in her head after an akuma landed in her photo of her and Ladybug, but Chloe resisted and fought back, ultimately forcing the akuma out of her and freeing herself from Hawk Moth’s control.

But it wasn’t to develop her character; no, it was to convince the audience of Chloe and Sabrina’s friendship so they’d feel something during Sabrina’s happy flashbacks, then lay the foundation of tricking viewers into believing that Chloe might not go to Hawk Moth’s side.

At the end of the day, it was doing something that’s “never been done before” in order for the character to earn brownie points for something that the writers can just have them do because willpower is an easy thing to just write in. “Gang of Secrets” does the exact same thing when Lady Wifi breaks free from Shadow Moth, with Ladybug even hammering it home by talking about how no one’s ever done it before.

And the pacing is - again - awful. Not only is Ladybug banking on this working when she herself says that it’s never been done, but the conversation between her and Lady Wifi where Ladybug tries to convince her doesn’t even take a minute.

It also has nothing to do with Marinette herself; Ladybug relies on Alya’s adoration/friendship with her as Ladybug (you know, after Alya took a photo of LadyNoir kissing and posted it online without Ladybug’s consent, betrayed her by putting information on the LadyBlog that Hawk Moth was able to take advantage of, and is the only hero outside of Chloe to resist returning a miraculous) in order to break from Hawk Moth’s control, because talking about Marinette with Lady Wifi didn’t even work.

(Ladybug also uses her yoyo as a portal to the Miracle Box when this has never been pre-established to be a thing despite Ladybug acting as if she knew it was; further proof that this episode was rushed.)

And of course talking about Marinette didn’t work, because that would’ve meant convincing Alya that her reason for getting akumatized was “wrong” and the episode didn’t want to do that. It didn’t want someone else actually learning something and feeling bad; surely, this is just Alya being manipulated by Shadow Moth and having the power to break free because Ladybug “needs Rena Rouge” and not because Lady Wifi and her friends are chasing after their supposed best friend and that’s--you know--wrong???

Rena Rouge’s reappearance is also yet another thing the episode refuses to address because it avoids the topic of “but my identity--”. At least “Heart Hunter” had the tact to have Kagami question why Ladybug was giving her the dragon again, but “Gang of Secrets” treads as lightly as possible on any discussion of identities outside of Marinette saying that she can’t, as if it were Marinette who made the choice of concealing her identity and not the basic idea of heroing that has been stressed over and over for the whole show.

Even Plagg of all kwami stated back in “Origins” that no one is supposed to know about secret identities, a rule that continues becoming flaky and muddled with each passing season, almost like they kept attempting to retcon and make the audience dulled to the idea so that the reveal in “Gang of Secrets” would be more acceptable.

But now, with the way they did it and how they don’t even have Tikki comment on the matter, it once again has it look like they’re making it - say it with me, everyone - Marinette’s fault.

Alya says that Marinette has a choice in telling her secret, Marinette insists that she doesn’t and goes on and on about how it’ll change everything, and then just... tells Alya her secret in the end.

And remember all the way back in Season 2? “Sapotis”?

Alya: What were you saying about her secret identity?

Marinette: Ladybug needs it to protect her family and friends. Otherwise the villains could use them to get to her.

Alya: Well, if I knew who Ladybug really was, I'd keep it a secret. I would even help her! Like say, if you were Ladybug, I'd cover for you — when you needed to transform in school, go fight the "baddies", you know?

Marinette: Oh yeah? Well, if I was Ladybug I wouldn't even tell you, to protect you from the "baddies", you know?

Alya: You serious? If I was Ladybug, I'd totally tell you! Because I tell my best friend everything.

And now here we are in “Gang of Secrets,” as if the narrative is saying, “See, Marinette? Alya was right all along, you were just being ridiculous and making yourself suffer for no reason!”

Yet Marinette had a right to keep her secrets. When Alya and Nino learned each other’s identities, Alya took a hit for Nino in “Catalyst” and both of them fell to Scarlet Moth’s akumas. Chloe was a mess and a half because of Hawk Moth knowing her identity. Fu had told Marinette that her miraculous would get taken if she and Chat Noir learned each other’s identities.

The only ones who received no consequences due to someone knowing their identity were Pegase (who Chat Noir and Markov knew), Ryuko (who Chat Noir, Ikari Gozen, and Hawk Moth knew), and Viperion (who Adrien knew). “Chat Blanc” also exists where Marinette got the impression that people discovering her identity would be a disaster, and even all the way back in “Lady Wifi” insisted that not telling anyone her identity was “listening to her head and not her heart,” and the narrative has relentlessly humiliated her for going with her heart, so yeah, probably for the best.

I hate that the episode avoids talking about anything identity-related outside of what comes out of Marinette’s mouth to make it appear like it was her choice all along. I hate that they had Tikki fixate on Marinette’s love problems instead of having her actually support Marinette and admit that Marinette should tell someone before she has a mental breakdown. I hate that the episode inserts Rena Rouge into the plot as if to brush all identity issues away so as to make Marinette’s identity reveal seem less jarring.

Now, of course I’m glad Marinette told someone. Of course I want her to get love and support from someone. Of course I think the benefits outweigh the risks, or I wouldn’t have written multiple fix-its where her identity gets revealed in some way or someone already knows.

But I didn’t want it to be Alya, because I knew how they’d do it. I knew they’d do it wrong and I knew that they wouldn’t have the courage to address Alya’s issues properly.

Those familiar with my blog will know that I’d been taking negative predictions for future seasons for a while and adding them to cards whenever they were proven right. Does anyone remember the Season 4 predictions that were proven correct for “Gang of Secrets,” specifically these ones?

- “Alya will suddenly be portrayed as a good/worthy friend to Marinette in/if there's an episode where Marinette tells her that she's Ladybug”

- “Alya resisting Shadow Moth/fighting back against him will be used to excuse telling Alya Marinette's secret identity“

- “Alya will know that Marinette is Ladybug first because "BFFs" despite being one of the worst candidates for it“

- “The secret that broke Lukanette up will be resolved in episode 3 when Marinette tells Alya“

Each and every one of those were mine, because I knew that whether Season 4 had a proper chronological order or not, the writers would not have the guts to develop Alya first and then have Marinette tell her in a future episode after Alya has properly earned it.

I knew that they wouldn’t take time to develop Alya. I knew that they would have Alya resist Shadow Moth to make Alya look “worthy” of the secret. I knew that Alya would swoop in during the last minute and a half of an episode, insisting that Marinette “didn’t have to tell her anything” when Alya had been pushy and insistent for the entire rest of the episode and the whole series in general, and would ultimately be rewarded with the big secret simply because she’s “the best friend” and that’s it.

The Alya at the end of the episode isn’t the Alya I’ve known for the entire rest of the series before this, or at the very least they turned her into an Alya I don’t recognize.

Alya claims during the ending scene that she knows that Marinette is hiding something beyond her love problems because she - as a reporter and “her best friend” - can sense such things, and all I’m left wondering is

w h e r e ?

Where and when has Alya been suspicious or worried about Marinette keeping a secret from her? What, back in “The Pharoah” where she didn’t immediately disregard Marinette for the role of Ladybug, or “Simon Says” where she vaguely teased Marinette about having a double life, both Season 1 episodes?

Where was Alya in “Truth” saying that she didn’t know Marinette’s secret but knew that she was keeping one? Where was Alya anywhere in Season 3 being concerned that Marinette hasn’t told her something? Where was this “supposedly very observant” Alya when Marinette needed her to out Lila because Lila got her expelled--oh wait, Alya “observed” that Lila did nothing and Marinette was just jealous.

What, is it only now that Alya suddenly “knows” that Marinette is hiding something else? Now, after Alya has already not known that Marinette was literally dating someone, even when Alya had multiples pictures of Marinette and said someone giving each other heart eyes and saw Marinette leaving school with said someone riding on the same bike together, you know, like normal, typical, average friends would?

Where’s the line where Alya acknowledges the problem? Where’s Alya sitting down with Marinette and admitting, “hey, I’m sorry I haven’t noticed this stuff, but I promise I’ll do better starting right now, and that’s how I know now that you’re hiding something else, and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that it’s been hurting you”?

I can’t tell you where it is, but I can say that it’s certainly not in this episode. 60% of the episode features the Alya we knew from the rest of the series and then switches her out the second she’s de-akumatized for another Alya who hasn’t done anything that the old one has because she pretends like it didn’t happen.

You know how I know? Because of this absolute gut punch of a line that showed that the series wanted to handwave everything away.

“I know how to keep a secret.”

...Really? Does she now? Well, I hope everyone remembered my point about “Animan” and “The Puppeteer 2,” because I’m bringing it right back.

Considering that “Truth” has been burned into all of our memories, we all definitely remember when Truth shoots Alya and questions her on Marinette’s secret, to which Alya states that Marinette’s secret is, “She’s in love with Adrien Agreste.” Now, at the time of Season 4′s airing, this is very much not a secret, as most characters already knew about Marinette’s crush, to the point where it’d been broadcast on television during Season 2.

But do you know when it was actually a secret? Back in Season 1, specifically in the episode “Animan” where Alya told Nino.

And not only did she tell Nino, but she lied to Marinette by claiming that she didn’t, acting as if Nino knew that Marinette had a crush but didn’t know who she was crushing on, which is then directly proven false as Nino accidentally implies that he does know who it is. This is also after Alya had gotten on Marinette’s case for trying to set her up with Nino, and then she had the gall to say that she wouldn’t spill Marinette’s secret because she, and I quote, “doesn't go around making decisions for other people,“ a statement that is directly contradicted by this little thing known as everything Alya has ever said and done in the entire series.

And while Marinette meddling in Alya’s love life actually ended up working out for Alya, Alya meddling in Marinette’s by telling Nino who Marinette is crushing on comes back to bite Marinette - not Alya (because of course) - in the infamous episode of “The Puppeteer 2,” where Marinette realizes that Alya really did tell Nino that she was crushing on Adrien.

Marinette: You told me you wouldn't tell Nino!

Alya: I haven't told him. Right, Nino? I didn't tell you anything. (elbows him)

Nino: She didn't tell me. And besides, I told her I wouldn't tell.

Then, when she’s called out on it, Alya lies again, and shamelessly so.

Marinette: Why did you tell Nino everything? You promised you wouldn't!

Alya: I didn't, I swear! Besides, even if I had told him everything, he would still be clueless. Ugh, who cares anyway? I've set everything up with Nino, who doesn't know a thing, so you can finally pour your heart out to Adrien, girl!

And now, here we are one season later - and not even half of a season if you go by production code order - and Alya claims that she knows how to keep a secret.

No. No, she does not. In fact, she does even worse because she won’t even admit when she’s spilled said secret. I absolutely refuse to accept that Alya is “worthy” or “deserving” of learning that Marinette is Ladybug when she couldn’t even keep a basic secret like who her friend was crushing on.

And no, it didn’t matter that Nino was her boyfriend, or that maybe she thought it would work out because Nino was friends with Adrien. By that logic, Alya would tell Adrien that Marinette is Ladybug if she heard that Ladybug is who Adrien was crushing on and we all know how that would’ve gone.

Marinette has a right to tell her secret to whoever she wants and I’m glad that a burden has been lifted from her, but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy that it’s Alya. That doesn’t mean I have to be happy that, after so many moments of Alya disrespecting Marinette’s feelings, she is the one who gets to hear the big secret that the fandom has been waiting for someone to find out about since the very start of the series.

Luka said it best in “Truth” that the truth is meant to be shared, not taken by force, but Marinette was forced to tell Alya by the narrative because Alya is her supposed “best friend.” It pushed Marinette to her breaking point, forced her to break up with the guy who has respected her agency and feelings since the day they met, and gave her a version of her “best friend” with the same name and face but with none of the responsibility from previous events so that said version was there at the right time and the right place to hear what had to be heard.

And in the end, I end up feeling nothing. Marinette doesn’t even have a “Marinette” reaction to saying it as one would expect; for her to blurt it out and then immediately start panicking until Alya hugs her to calm her down. Instead, Marinette just says it and stares silently at Alya - after blabbing this huge, very big deal of a secret - until Alya goes in for a hug (the “happy/hopeful” ending of which is why I feel like this episode also gets less flak, as the previous two ended off rather depressing/upsetting).

It’s off. Everything is off. The pacing, the delivery, and the logic that the episode uses. The emotion in Marinette’s voice when she’s rambling about how hard it is to keep her secret is so powerful, but then the ending hits and she just says it, breaking the momentum they had going. They pulled the card of Alya walking away too soon when they could’ve saved it, having Marinette go quiet and letting Alya take a few steps away in order to let the moment build before Marinette finally blurts out the secret she’s been painfully holding in.

But they didn’t, and I’m so many levels of dissatisfied. I wasn’t against the idea of Alya learning Marinette’s secret at some point (though honestly, Alix would’ve been a better pick considering that Bunnyx will know eventually anyway, and I say that not even liking Alix!), but not now; not when Alya had so much to work towards.

And now what? What happens now? Now Alya will turn against Lila, not because she learned to have faith and believe in Marinette, but because Marinette is Ladybug, which disproves Lila’s ultimate lie that got Alya’s attention in the first place? Now Alya will be supportive and less teasing/mocking whenever Marinette will be late, not because she understands that Marinette isn’t perfect and has so many other things on her mind, but because she’s Ladybug and has “hero stuff” to take care of? Now Alya will be careful about what she puts on the LadyBlog, not because she respected Ladybug and what Ladybug would want, but because Ladybug is now her best friend and that changes everything?

Because now, Alya has a free pass to all of that, the show making her spontaneously “developed” now so they won’t have to develop her later, and disappointing doesn’t even begin to describe it.

#category: salt #episode: Gang of Secrets #other: ml spoilers #category: long post #word count: over 7000 #other: ask and answer #((I know this is long so I did what I did in ''The Puppeteer 2'' where I had pictures to break it up.))

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kittytheartist · 2 years

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I understand you with the Hanakou being a good ship but Mitsukou literally parallels Hananene all the time (we all know Hananene love each other)

Most of us don't think it's overrated

Kou literally was going to try and die for Mitsuba and become a supernatural for him just so they can be together and work together to become human

And when Mitsuba says, "I don't like guys with lame-ass-traffic-earrings"(or something along those lines) He's basically saying he likes guys

And a whole lot of other scenes indicated that they let each other (even if they don't realize it themselves *cough cough* kou *cough cough*)

I'm just very confused on why you don't think they are in love

If anything with you(me included) even thinking that Teru could care for anyone but his family is far off

And hoping to the Hanakou thing- I understand-I understand

But now going to Mitsunene-um-uh-yeah no

Mitsuba is so gay it isn't even funny and yes Nene does find him pretty but I do think after she got over her "he's a prince~ <3" phase- I think she starts to see him like a brother or like a cousin (just like she sees Kou). Mitsuba I think sees Nene like an older sister (Yep-I'm sibling zoning them)

I'm not hating btw- (I actually really love your content :D) I'm just confused (I said this so much lol)

hi Anon^^ glad you enjoy my content! and do you ship HanaKou? it's my second favorite ship<3 and I don't see and ship it as a crack ship I genuinely love them together ehe~

MitsuNene, I love their dynamic, and I get that she got over her "he's a cute princely underclassmen" but I do understand about them having the cousin relationship, but I think they're an amazing pair so I have no problem shipping them, drawing, reading content or seeing fanart, because I love them, because I COULD see them as romantic but most of my ships in tbhk are like qpr tbh but I love romance sm(as an aegoromantic) so I really can't get behind the MitsuNene hate :(

and about what this is mainly about

honestly ppl make the "parallels" aren't as much as the fandom likes to point out and I don't think parallels in general don't mean romantic, if there were more parallels with other ships people didn't like they'd mark it off as nothing, but because people go crazy over MitsuKou they point out everything to make it romantic :(

and can you guys seriously see this as him confirming he likes guys??

I think this is a very funny panel for the humor, but to say it's him basically saying he does? and how much people make this panel about MitsuKou? I don't get it, because being gay is something that someone like him would be assumed of, because he looks so girly, so why wouldn't he tease Kou for it? he'd probably say how queer coated his earring is bc it's so cringy, he's teasing him on if it's a confession bc it's a area where they're alone and generally this is highschool girls dream place to confess to their crush, but I can't see this as Mitsuba saying he ACTUALLY does like guys, I think he's just joking, and the fact that he doesn't say he doesn't like guys but he just doesn't like guys with earrings, but I think he's just finding a way to point out his earring, he's constantly talking about his lame earring, he's not saying he likes guys he's saying he just hates his lame earring jdjcjbuhchvy

and I don't believe that SO many scenes indicate they like each other?? and Kou and Mitsuba have a very strong bond, and Kou is all about justice, he's trying to fix Mitsuba's problem, and he doesn't entirely think it through at the moment, so wouldn't it be a easy way to understand if he was dead too? why does doing everything they can think of for a friend always romantic? and I swear this isn't me just being aromatic because I post about TeruKane all the time, but MitsuKou is something I just can't find why everyone is so crazy over it, instead i could apsolutely ship real Mitsuba and Kou, but fake Mitsuba is someone who knows nothing and to have someone come in the picture who already cares for him and wants to know more, someone who is willing to be by his side, so I can't see all the manga panels and "evidence" ppl talk about as canon?

and I'm not sure what you were saying about Teru? I got lost in what you meant by that? do you mean Teru caring for someone else is far from his character? or him caring/loving Aoi? or caring for Akane is far off?? or him ONLY caring about his family is far off from how he's written? I'm not really sure what context you mean?? TwT

but I'm going to assume you run a MitsuKou focusing blog, or scroll the MitsuKou hashtag very often—no offense, I scroll the same hashtag multiple times a week *cough #reptile cough* uhmm

ok bye Anon I hope this helped you? but I've read lots of MitsuKou analysis and master posts on it but can't bring myself to say that it's true and very canon like how I read Teru's actions with Akane :/

anyways I know we all know Yakoo and Satou are dating but thoughts on Yakoo and Mitsuba?—Yakoo is the only one who calls him by first name—

(this is kinda joke they're just cute besties—)

#people on MitsuKou hashtag gonna be madddd #so ill put it here #mitsukou #tbhk #jshk #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shonen hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #jshk manga #tbhk manga #mitsuba sousuke #sousuke mitsuba #minamoto kou #kou minamoto #yashiro nene #nene yashiro #tbhk yakoo #tbhk satou

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ageless-aislynn · 2 years

Text

You know, I was just here thinking about how there are things I “should” and “shouldn’t” do, either because other people have already done them (like GIF certain scenes or talk about specific things from an episode) or that I don’t think anybody else would care about (um, pretty much the same things, lol). And then I thought, no, if I want to make those GIFs, I should make them. If I want to fangirl over this or that from an episode, I should do it just because I have a lot of love in my heart right now and even if I share it and nobody cares, it still means something to me to have shared it, you know?

So if I want to use that song in a vid, just because somebody else used it years ago for a different fandom/pairing/character, then that doesn’t mean I can’t still do my version, right? But I always let things like that hold me back, let them suffocate all that love in my heart instead of sharing it, for better or worse.

Even just commenting on other people’s posts when I feel like, yeah, nobody wants me to chime in with my two cents. who am I, what do I even bring to the discussion? But that’s how you can make new friends, right? Staying off by yourself and being worried that people won’t like you (hellooooo, social anxiety, my old friend 😒) is no way to go through fandom or life in general, right?

And so I sorta did this *fistthump* YES I WILL MAKE THE THINGS I WANT TO MAKE. I WILL SHARE MY FANNISH LOVE. I WILL GET OUT THERE AND CONVERSE.

And then I realized...

Holy cheeseballs, frens, I’m supposed to be writing my Camp NaNo novel, what am I doing trying to come up with other things to do right now???

👀

Um, so I’ll be getting back to that. Catch you later! 🤗🙋‍♀️

#camp nanowrimo #camp nano #writing #the flash #halo the series #moon knight #doctor who #i can't believe i forgot i'm supposed to be writing!#*face palm*#trigger warning: anxiety #ageless aislynn

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fireemblems24 · 3 years

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AM Chapter 19

So happy that AM has detoured from the path VW/SS is following because that means I get to play a different map!

Possible spoilers for all routes up until ch 19 and SS ch 18 below.

Pre-Battle

So excited for this chapter - because two lords are actually going to work together. It's the first time and looking like the only time based on what's happened in other routes.

Hey, Claude, long time, no see.

Yeah, the Kingdom and Alliance Army teaming up! Why didn't this happen any sooner?

JUDITH! Cool to see her here.

Claude is so sure his city won't fall lamo. That's very Claude.

So are those "wounds" from Gondor why I won't get to use Claude AND Dimitri.

Claude believes in Dimitri (and Byleth) 😭

Ingrid's a Judith fangirl. My too, Ingrid.

Wow, Claude set himself up as bait to get the enemy inside all based on how much he trusted Dimitri and Byleth? That's more of a mastermind scheme than he's pulled in his own route.

Ok, guys, I'm seeing why there's a Claude/Dimitri crowd lamo.

OMG it's HILDA! And she'd defending Claude 😭😭😭 How quickly my heart switches from Dimitri/Claude to Hilda/Claude lol.

Battle

Arundel doesn't really add much to the sad state of elder men from the Empire, does he?

By "that idiot," does he mean Cornelia? He can't mean Fleche.

Claude calling us late while Dimitri is all serious. Yeah, I can see the appeal of shipping them together lol.

Dude, Hilda just crit the first (and second) dude who attacked her. What a champ.

If Hilda dies, does she die for good? I don't think I want to test that theory and will just blitz this map. Which is easy with the Blue Lions in part thanks to Dimitri just being absurd. They're also surprisingly critical happy. Not that I'm complaining.

You know, the last time I was here, I was invading and killing Claude and Hilda instead of defending them. This feels so much better.

Arundel's talking mad shit for a man who's army got decimated in like three turns (other than that little corner he's hiding in, but Dimitri's right there so).

Time for Dimitri vs Arundel dialogue.

I forgot that was his uncle. Poor guy can't catch a break (Dimitri, not Arundel, fuck Arundel).

Dimitri telling Arundel he's rather calm for someone in his position (FYI, all his soldiers are dead).

Why does Arundel want him and Edelgard to kill each other? He really didn't answer the question about what happened lol.

Man, this was way too short. The other routes took me like 10-15 rounds. This one got cleared in 5.

I protected Hilda and Judith! So they gave me presents. Feels good. Feels so good compared to slaughtering Judith while she tries to retreat and killing Hilda for protecting Claude.

Post-Battle

This is legit the only route so far were all three lords get to do something after the time skip except die.

It's nice seeing two lords just talk without wanting to kill each other. Makes me wish we got more of this. But, hey, at least it's Dimitri and Claude who got the chance too.

Claude calling Dimitri and Byleth soft-hearted. He's not wrong.

I bet Dimitri's so embarrassed right now, Claude saying he knew Dimitri would set his own goals aside to help Claude and Byleth just agreeing.

Claude really gambled on Dimitri lol.

Oh, we get Claude's weapon! That's pretty cool. He gave us a present. Edelgard didn't get one.

Why is the Alliance gone? Wait, they just decided to join Dimitri? Did Claude just dump the Alliance in Dimitri's lap?

😂😂😂😂😂 Poor Dimitri. All he ever wanted was to be a good king and revenge and now he's the leader of the Alliance too lamo.

I'm know it's not going to happen, but how banger if I now got to use Claude too.

Yeah, that's what I figured. Claude's leaving.

Oh, now we get to go rescue Rhea.

Yessss promise to meet again. Though I'm sure that's after the game is over. Still, feels good knowing Claude and Dimitri parted on such good terms. Seems like it's a good sign for the future. And the Alliance just willingly joined the Kingdom too.

Oh, God, Felix, never change. Demanding Dimitri tell the truth. Oh, about Edelgard being his step-sister. And Dimitri's telling them about it.

Ugh, how can he talk about his step-mother so calmly? Do we know if she caused Duscur? I really don't want her to have done that for Dimitri's sake, but given how he's this game's punching bag . . .

Glad Rodrigue knew about Patricia. That means Lambert really trusted Rodrigue.

Mercedes is always so compassionate. I love her so much.

Annette - "I feel the idea of fighting family is just about the worst thing ever." Also Annette, can get recruited to Crimson Flower (I'm betting she gets to fight Gilbert at least once, right?)

OMG Sylvain remembered that dagger 😂😂😂 I love how casual Dimitri and Sylvain are with each other in general. It's nice since he's got so many strained relationships, but with Sylvain it's always been pretty easy between those two.

I love how Felix is concerned that Dimitri can't bring himself to kill Edelgard. What a far cry from the guy who didn't think Dimitri deserved to walk on two legs.

Oh, great, another lord willing to work with Edelgard. $10 says she refuses to work with Dimitri too.

Ashe talking about killing family 😭

Wait, though, are we actually going to talk with Edelgard? Is this like . . . diplomacy? In my Fire Emblem? Just Dimitri things I guess.

It's a waste of breath though. Edelgard has no interest in working with Claude or Dimitri.

Edelgard really just takes Ls after she wins before the time skip.

Wait, what is Edelgard planning? "There is no other way," um except there is. You could just, not, take over Fodlan and kill everyone who won't let you stomp all over them.

You know what? I noticed something. Edelgard lied to all the Black Eagles (sans Hubert) about that attack from the evil death cult group (I refuse to call them "those who slither in the dark"). Claude got pressured to come clean about his origins to the Golden Deer, but didn't tell them. He didn't lie, but he didn't tell them about him. Dimitri, though, opened right up to the Blue Lions about him and Edelgard. It's funny that all three get scenes like this, where there's pressure on the lord to reveal something and Edelgard lies, Claude withholds, and Dimitri tells everyone the truth. Blue Lions really feel like a family.

New Chapter

This one is still different from VW and SS now.

We get a different picture too!

So now we go kill the Death Knight - again - Mercedes is gonna be big sad though. Maybe I'll tea time her to try and cheer her up.

So everyone is uniting under Dimitri now. Let's go.

So the next chapter is this fort with the Death Knight there?

Poor Mercie is sad though. I don't like her being sad.

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fe16 #azure moon #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #fe3h

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cherriesradio · 4 years

Text

Mha relationship headcanons (Class 1-A)

Guess I’m doing headcanons now

(In order of seats cause it’s the first photo order on Google lol)

Gn reader

Yuuga Aoyama

He will lazer anyone who even dares to make fun of them

Always in need of attention

ALWAYS

if y/n is boing homework or something at their desk he’ll just dramatically sit down in their lap

“wHy aReN’t yOu PAyinG aTtENTion tO yOUr pReTtY bOYFriEnd?????”

“My little star” ❤️

Compliment wars

Y/n will compliment him once like “hey your hairs really soft today”

Shots fired

He is a rich kid and no one can convince me other wise

So one day he just randomly buys them like thousand dollar jeans and they just sit there like “???????????????? I mean thank you so much I love it but like ????????????”

Mina Ashido

Yeah she doesn’t have any hoodies anymore

“Girls” night is very important where it’s basically every other night where they sleep in each other’s dorm rooms but instead of going to sleep at 1am they go to sleep at 6am on a Friday

Every morning she puts a ridiculous amount of makeup on y/n and y/n the whole time is like “I am totally willing to go to school like this”

But by the end Mina just wipes it all off :(

Brags about each other CONSTANTLY

Kirishima and Kaminari made a whole mix tap of Bakugo telling them to shut up about each other

With Kaminari’s crappy beat boxing ✨

They both go to Momo’s dorm and all study together (let’s be real they aren’t really studying just kidding around) all the time

(If a female y/n) They get their periods at the same time and it’s so miserable cause they can’t take care of each other 💔

If Mineta hits on either one??

The next day the other will ask to train with him and he’ll think someone finally likes him back but turns out they were just trying to beat him up for revenge

Tsuyu Asui

HATES PDA

DON’T YOU DARE HOLD HER HAND NO

Headcanon she’s aromatic (aromatics can still want a romantic relationship with someone and fall in love and stuff, it’s just really unlikely) (feel free to tell me how it works; I’m in the community but haven’t done a large amount of research on aromatics)

Random compliments

Just randomly “hey *ribbit* your outfits really nice today”

💙 swimming dates or going to the pond💙

Double dates with the rest of the Dekusquad couples

Loudly cheers each other on in training

Y/n gives Tsu a frog plush and she’s to scared to sleep with it thinking she’ll drool on it or something so it’s on a shelf that only has special items

Remembers every little thing like they could say they needs to do something in a few months and Tsu will remind them

Eat Bento Boxes together at lunch all the time 🍱

Once y/n was like “what do I feed the pond frogs?????” And Tsu went on a long rant about how to handle frogs

She has a passion okay

Sends goodnight texts at like 8:30 and y/n finds it hilarious that she literally goes to bed at 8:30

(When they finds out about Bakugo they laughs at him and Deku mutters “he deserves it”)

“I love you” *internal panic, like that one spongebob scenes in his head where there’s a ton of little sponge bobs burning stuff* “uhhh um uh thanks” “WAIT IM SO SORRY I LOVE YOU TO SO MUCH” *bursts into laughter*

Tenya Iida

Study dates where they lose track of time and accidentally stay up till two in the morning

Definition of slow burn

Literally, for two years he clearly had a crush on them but didn’t realize it and at some point Deku and generally the whole Dekusquad got tired of it and Ochaco just yelled at him one day “YOU LITERALLY LIKE Y/N HOW DO YOU NOT NOTICE?!?!?”

He just like o ^ 0

Literally plans every date for weeks

He doesn’t love physical affection, he likes it just not all the time, prefers giving gifts and time to each other

Best listeners ever

(Slightly angsty headcanon) one time he had pulled a bunch of all nighters studying and failed a test from not taking in the info and cried and y/n comforted him :(

Literally thanks the universe every night for y/n because he’s a sweetheart

When his brother gets forced into retirement y/n comforts him SO HARD

Y/n would low key be on board with the “murder stain” plan if Iida told them

Cause they are best friends with his brother

When they first got together and they meet each other they thought he was super intimidating cause he’s the “if you break his heart I’ll break your nose” type but then became really good friends because of how each of them care for Iida (well that was what started it)

Doesn’t get jealous whatsoever

Y/n could literally kiss some guys hand or cheek and he’s just like “their a really friendly person and I trust them”

Arguments on who’s gonna pay for dinner lol and then he’s just like

“Oh my god what we split the Bill” like he just had the best smartest idea ever

And y/n’s like “ :0 that such A good idea!!!!!” Cause they are both semi himbo

Ochako Uraraka

As soon as Ochako said she was poor y/n just started randomly giving her money

“Hey Ochako how’s your day” “oh good good you” “yeah I’m doin good anyways here’s fifty dollars”

She makes y/n a ton of hand made gifts and likes baking for them (I headcanon that she likes baking uwu)

If she buys y/n anything they know she was saving up for it and appreciates the heck out of it

Volunteers at the family business all the time 😌

Her bed is covered in stuffed animals and when she misses y/n she cuddles up to them and y/n find it so sad yet adorable

They would be nervous to tell anyone so it would be a secret for a while

Until one day Deku asks if Ochako wants to study with him and Iida and find them cuddling while reading

He definitely freaks out and blush’s but tells no one

After a few months they do tell the class tho they supportive

Okay the whole Dekusquad and y/n calls All Might Dad

When their older they go to pride parades (even if it’s not a lgbtq relationship) and wear “free mom/ dad/ parent hug” shirt and it’s adorable

Constantly touching each other

Could be hugging or hand holding or even as little as just having their hand on the others shoulder

Both find it werid how they somehow have the same taste in music

Part 1 (gonna be four parts lol wanna do the whole class)

#mha #bnha #my hero x reader #mha x y/n #Aoyama #aoyama x reader #mina ashido #mina x reader #tsuyu x reader #iida x reader #ururaka x reader

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thebestpersonherelovesbucky · 3 years

Text

Falcon and the Winter Soldier Ep. 6 Takeaway

First let me say that I really truly enjoyed this show. I was so nervous at the beginning and I was so nervous for the end, and though there are things that I didn’t like (as to be expected with pretty much any media) my overall excitement was rewarded. I definitely give the show an A and can only hope that we keep getting things like this and WandaVision with their next shows.

Anyway.

Sam and Bucky (and Sharon) coordinating from their different spots. I always like seeing the tactical side of working together in addition to the badass fighting together stuff.

The officer not questioning Bucky’s presence and calling him Sargent Barnes made me SO happy.

The facial mask thing-y that Natasha had in Cap 2 making a reappearance. Idk why I like that but it’s nice to know that these things are still being utilized.

CAPTAIN AMERICA’S FIRST ENTRANCE!!!! my GOD did Sam ROCK that!!! Fucking AH-MAY-ZING.

Sam’s new costume is perfect like the comics!! It’s so often changed that it’s so great to see it on screen!

“I’m sorry, wait. Who are you?” “I’m Captain America.” The parallel between this is Steve’s “Um...Captain America.” in the First Avenger.

The subtitles saying “Captain America” now whenever Sam in uniform talks.

Bucky trying to talk Karli down, approaching from a different angle than Sam because it’s what he knows and honestly does want to stop her without it coming to a fight. Especially when he realizes it’s a trap and is all “oh fuck me” and needs to haul ass lol. That is Bucky Barnes to a T.

“Seriously, Bucky, you had one job.” Omg, Sharon. lmao

Sam’s fight with Batroc was so cool. No serum. Just straight up ass kicking plus the au revoir at the end. Yes please and thank you.

Redwing!!!! Yaaaay!!!! (”a little birdie told me” lmao, Sam.)

Seeing the Vibranium wings in ACTION. Bouncing a freaking helicopter off them! FUCK!!!!! SO COOL!!!

I can watch Bucky Barnes throwing himself off a motorcycle all day long.

Bucky stopping his fight to save everyone.

John Walker and his stupid Walmart Shield arriving just in time to add fire to fire. Thanks, bro.

Bucky specifically being thanked for rescuing them. He’s spent so much time with so much guilt that having just one person say “thank you for rescuing us” actually made him pause. He’s spent so much time as the “villain” that he’s forgotten he can be the hero and it’s so good to see that finally hit him.

The metal arm scraping across the ground. Good god.

Sam popping out of the water and “Boy, you earned this ass whooping!”

That helicopter scene holy SHIT is Sam amazing.

And some applause for Ayla, too!!!!

John Walker ultimately choosing to save people instead of going on with his vendetta. Very comic book in character.

Bucky watching in horror as the van is slowly going over the edge and then smiling in wonder and awe as Captain America saves them all.

“That’s the Black Falcon there! I tell you!” “Nah. That’s Captain America!” Tears. Actual tears. SO MANY TEARS. Sam Wilson IS CAPTAIN AMERICA, baby!!!

Uh, yeah, so Bucky stopping weapons mid-air is one of my favorite things ever.

Okay, Batroc, go the fuck away now, we’re done with you.

I do like that when push comes to shove, the mission outweighed their personal grudges and Sam and Bucky “teamed up” with Walker. Not that it was 100% trust on their side. I think Bucky followed Walker bc “eeeeh....can we really trust him?” and since he has no doubt Sam can handle himself, but also, we’re fighting the same thing right as of this moment so lets just keep our heads and do it.

I am absolutely not thrilled with the direction they took Sharon. Like. Not at all. I’m...reserving full judgement for what I’m assuming will come in the future but like. No. Nuh-ah. Not happy with it.

Sam trying so hard to help Karli. The fact that he legit refused to fight her and she tried so hard to get him to fight back and he just wouldn’t. So beautiful and poignant. Sam’s fighting style. Sam perseverance. Just. Everything about that.

As good as the scene was (and I think it was great. The set up. How it all went down. The raw emotion) I’m kinda bummed they killed Karli. I was hoping Sam could at least talk her down first. However, the emotion and symbolism of her dying in his arms, and whispering “i’m sorry” was so heartbreaking.

The way Bucky and Walker got the rest of the Flag Smashers was hilarious.

Sam carrying Karli’s body cradled in his arms and flying down with her like a literal angel? I mean. Just rip my heart out.

“You have to stop calling them terrorists.” and “Your peacekeeping troops carrying weapons are forcing millions of people into settlements around the world, right? What do you think those people call you.” These first few lines of Sam’s speech. God, thank you.

Sam’s Captain America Speech. No fuck’s given. I’m so glad they didn’t hold back and just let him really give that powerful speech. Unabashedly saying “I’m a Black man carrying the stars and stripes. What don’t I get?”. Admitting the weight that comes with it and the judgement he feels. Not backing down. Telling the world he is Captain America “no super serum, no blond hair or blue eyes”. Defending Karli and trying to get them to understand what she was trying to do and why she was trying to do it. Sam was 100% born to be Captain America.

Everyone watching Captain America’s speech. Bucky. Walker. Isaiah and Eli. Joaquin. Sarah. The world. Beautiful watching Captain America deliver his first speech.

“Sorry I was texting so all I heard was Black guy in stars and stripes...nice job, Cap.” That back clap Bucky gives Sam there? ((#boyfriends))

“Can you help?” “Always.”

Very happy that Zemo had another villain move up his sleeve. Didn’t really dig the whole “i’m so graceful feel sorry for me” thing.

John Walker becoming US Agent.

Oh and, excuse me while I geek out over Valentina, Walker, Zemo...@marvel, I see where this might be headed. Please don’t let me down!

Bucky making his amends with Nakajima. The overwhelming emotions. The fear of admitting it. I kinda wish we saw a little more but I’m also okay with the ambiguity of it and knowing that Bucky knows that he at least gave him closure and is coming to accept that his role as the winter soldier was not his fault.

Also liked Bucky giving the book to his therapist. I know it’s an unpopular opinion, but I take no issues with her and I do think that Bucky felt she helped him.

Eli Bradley is fucking adorable.

Sam’s conversation with Isaiah. All that hope he represents while not erasing the pain that Isiah and generations before them suffered. Still wanting to fight for what’s right just because it’s the right thing to do. Isaiah not condemning Sam’s choice. Beautiful and poignant.

Um. The museum scene? Yeah, I had to pause for a good ten minutes before I could actually continue with the show. Isaiah Bradley and all his men deserved that ((and so much more)) for so long. The catharsis so visible when Isaiah hugs Sam so tight. The zoom in on the statue. Okay, I’m crying again.

Yeah, so when Bucky’s boyfriend has a BBQ he shows up like dancing like a dork with a cake and plays with all the kids.

Honestly, happiness looks so good on him. It’s so nice to see that again.

They really ended it with Sam and Bucky embracing and walking off together in the sunset.

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

Again, still not thrilled with what’s going on with Sharon but clearly they’re setting up for something so...I’m putting a bookmark in to hold my judgement.

Bc honestly, my biggest focus is:

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

Seriously though, overall, I think this was one of the best things Marvel has put out there in a while and I know I’ll come back to it again and again. Here’s hoping to more Cap to come!!!!

#sam wilson #bucky barnes #captain america #john walker #falcon and the winter soldier #captain america and the winter soldier #mcu #marvel #disney plus #my stuff #long post #capws spoilers #fws spoilers

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bestworstcase · 4 years

Note

What are your opinions on the whole "Cassandra is a toxic friend for Rapunzel" or "Rapunzel and Cass's friendship was a toxic one" statements?

so.

first of all, “toxic” is one of those buzzwords that gets tossed around on a lot in online spaces and as always with those, i think it’s important to clarify precisely what i mean. the formal definition of “toxic relationship” as phrased by dr. lillian glass, who coined the term, is:

any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.

toxicity in a relationship doesn’t necessarily stem from abuse (although all abusive relationships are toxic; rectangles and squares, etc). sometimes, it’s just that two people aren’t good for each other, or don’t mesh well, or have other things going on that make it so they can’t do the work necessary to build a sustainable relationship. regardless of the root cause, though, all toxic relationships:

- create persistent stress, unhappiness, discomfort, anxiety, anger, malaise, or resignation, instead of creating joy,

- may catalyze or exacerbate mental health issues of people trapped in them,

- make communication between participants difficult or impossible,

- warp interpersonal boundaries within the relationship, and

- have a detrimental effect on attachments outside the relationship.

so with our term defined, do cass and rapunzel have a toxic friendship?

yeah.

but—and this is the controversial part of my Opinion™ lol—it’s rapunzel, not cassandra, who’s the toxic friend.

as i see it, there are two major problems here:

#1: rapunzel has no respect for cassandra’s boundaries.

one idea i see expressed an awful lot in both cass-fan and cass-critical circles is that cassandra isn’t good at communicating her feelings, desires, or needs and frankly... no. i used to kind of nod along with this, but i increasingly just do not agree that this is a general trait of hers.

consider her behavior in season 1.

in before ever after:

CASS: You can’t let Eugene see you!

RAPUNZEL: What? Why?

CASS: He can’t know anything about last night! I told you, Rapunzel, if it gets out I took you outside Corona, I’m done for.

RAPUNZEL: But I trust Eugene.

CASS: Well I don’t. [beat] My Dad will have me taken off princess detail. We’ll never see each other again.

cass states a boundary plainly and directly, and explains her reasoning so that rapunzel will understand why it’s so important to her that rapunzel keep their excursion a secret.

in what the hair:

CASS: Raps, I told you, we can’t tell anyone about that night!

RAPUNZEL: Um, Cass, I think the secret’s pretty much out.

CASS: Yeah, yeah, everyone know’s the hair’s back—but if anyone found out I was the one who snuck you out when it happened, I would be sent to a convent. Literally a convent.

RAPUNZEL: Well... I have to tell Eugene.

CASS: No, no, no no—as far as he knows, you... just woke up that morning with long hair.

RAPUNZEL: But Eugene is my boyfriend! We tell each other everything!

CASS: I know this is a lot to ask, but I can’t risk it. Please, don’t tell Eugene.

again, cass is upfront in asking rapunzel to keep this secret from her. she even acknowledges that she’s asking a lot from rapunzel, but her livelihood and home are dependent on this secret staying secret, and cass spells this out as clearly as possible for rapunzel.

then, when eugene tries to guilt-trip rapunzel into telling him the secret, cass cuts in to emphasize—again—why she doesn’t want him to know: “I don’t trust you. You have a big mouth,” a statement she backs up with multiple examples just from the week or so since BEA.

and later in the episode:

RAPUNZEL: This isn’t right, Cassandra! I have to tell Eugene.

CASS: No! Rapunzel, I want to trust you. And I trust that you trust Eugene, but I don’t trust Eugene, and if I can’t trust Eugene, I can’t trust you, and you’re just going to have to trust me. [beat] Trust me, that logic tracks.

the gag of course is that this is not an especially eloquent way of stating her point, but the reasoning here does in fact track: cassandra’s safety depends on keeping their excursion secret, and she doesn’t trust eugene’s ability or willingness to protect her by keeping the secret, therefore she is asking—really, begging, at this point—rapunzel not to tell him.

cassandra’s communication on this point is always crystal clear. she empathizes with rapunzel’s discomfort keeping the secret from eugene, she understands why rapunzel feels that way, and she repeatedly and clearly asks rapunzel to prioritize cassandra’s safety over her own discomfort.

and rapunzel refuses. in the final scene of what the hair, rapunzel checks to make sure that cassandra isn’t paying attention, then tells eugene the truth. his gut reaction is to cheer because oho cass is in for it now, and of course raps shuts this down—but she doesn’t care that she just betrayed cassandra’s trust. she’s just relieved that she’s no longer hiding anything from eugene.

now, we don’t get to see cassandra’s reaction to this, but cass is standing right there, and even if she didn’t hear rapunzel telling him the secret, she would certainly have heard eugene crowing about getting her into trouble. there is no way she doesn’t realize what just happened.

it’s not brought up again in the next few episodes, so we can assume that cass simply decided to let it slide. rapunzel doesn’t mean any harm, after all, and she got eugene to promise not to spill the beans. it is what it is. cass just has to hope neither of them tell anyone else.

and this brings us to the next time cass tries to establish a boundary with rapunzel, in challenge of the brave.

now in this situation, there’s no danger to cassandra. she just wants to participate in the challenge and she’s simply not keen on the idea of competing alongside rapunzel.

but... remember what happened the last time cass laid down a boundary with rapunzel? not just any boundary, but a boundary about something that was a significant and immediate threat to cassandra’s safety? remember how carefully and clearly she explained herself to rapunzel, how she pleaded for rapunzel to protect her by keeping the secret—only for rapunzel to glibly do the one thing cass begged her not to do?

in challenge of the brave, cassandra knows that rapunzel won’t listen to her stated boundaries even when cassandra’s whole life in the palace is at stake. and the stakes are not that high with the challenge, not by a long shot, so what does cass do when rapunzel tries to tag along?

RAPUNZEL: I wanna sign up!

CASS: You mean compete?!

RAPUNZEL: Let’s do it together!

[excited kid babble]

CASS: That would be fun... but I’m not so sure that’s the best idea...

RAPUNZEL: I’m brave! And I’m always up for a challenge!

CASS: But th- the thing is, the Challenge is by invitation only, so you can’t do it. Oh, man, ughh, rules are rules!

RAPUNZEL: Aw, okay. But you can always count on me to cheer you on!

first, cass drops a large hint that she really is not enthused about the idea of competing in the challenge with rapunzel. she’s clearly hoping that raps will pick up on her disinterest and back off on her own (and if rapunzel were more socially astute, she probably would, because cass is... not subtle).

but when this doesn’t work, instead of saying outright that she wants to do the challenge by herself, cass scrambles and makes up a lie to prevent rapunzel from entering. why? well, rapunzel didn’t listen to her when the stakes were “i will be sent to a convent,” so she has no reason to think rapunzel will listen to her when the stakes are “this is just something i want to do by myself.”

this happens again when rapunzel is making cass uncomfortable before the challenge begins; in contrast to BEA/WTH, cass is visibly uncomfortable being open about her feelings with rapunzel now, so she says “Why don’t you go find Eugene in the stands?” instead of being direct about what she wants.

now of course, all this falls apart when rapunzel discovers the lie and decides to sign up for the challenge at the last minute. cass reacts quite badly to this, with her frustration and hurt feelings bubbling up more and more throughout the challenge. but like, at this point, what is she supposed to do? rapunzel is in the ring. she’s going to be in the challenge whether cass likes it or not, and when rapunzel first enters, cass tries really hard to grit her teeth and be a good sport about it.

she just... can’t, because the challenge means too much to her. it represents her life outside of being rapunzel’s servant, and rapunzel joining in and effortlessly succeeding at things cass has trained hard for feels like rapunzel taking that away from her.

all of which eventually culminates in... this:

RAPUNZEL: Wait, stop! We’re supposed to be friends!

CASS: A friend wouldn’t be so oblivious, Rapunzel. You have no idea what this contest means to me! I mean, you’re a princess, you’ve got nothing to prove. To you, this was just a fun way to blow off a Saturday, but to me, it was a chance to show everyone that I am more than just your lady-in-waiting. And just when I thought I might get even the slightest bit of respect... Never mind.

cass spends the whole day bottling these feelings up, but when she does finally snap, she is able to clearly and succinctly express what her problem is. and though this isn’t explicitly stated, it seems likely to me that cassandra didn’t say any of this earlier because she assumed rapunzel wouldn’t care. when raps says “I respect you, I look up to you!” cass is visibly taken aback.

and this is super important!! because rapunzel listens. even though cass tried to brush off her own feelings, rapunzel sees what her problem was, understands her, and immediately offers her a true, heartfelt apology. this matters to cass. this is why she lets go of her anger, and why she’s able to gracefully accept rapunzel’s victory a few minutes later. she’s not just seeing that rapunzel really does care for her, she’s also seeing a marked change from how rapunzel treated her in BEA/WTH. she’s seeing a signal from rapunzel that rapunzel DOES care about her boundaries after all.

like with the BEA/WTH incident, this leads into the next time cass expresses a boundary with rapunzel, in under raps.

in under raps, the stakes are super high again: cass is a key player in a dangerous game of espionage with an insurgent who’s going to attempt to steal top secret information that would put all of corona in danger if it fell into the wrong hands. and cass is doing this on top of all her duties as a lady-in-waiting and a maid, during an obnoxious holiday that she’s not a fan of in general, so she’s pretty damn stressed.

anyway, at the beginning of the episode, cass is very open about how she feels about the day of hearts, and when rapunzel tries to “fix” this, cass makes her disinterest clear—first politely, and then more pointedly when rapunzel doesn’t take the hint: “I don’t have time right now. You two have fun though, okay?” → “Will you just stop, Rapunzel?” and, when rapunzel continues to push:

CASS: Look, Raps, I get what you’re doing, and I appreciate it, but I’m fine.

RAPUNZEL: Cass, no! Something is clearly wrong; you never wanna hang out, you keep disappearing, you don’t even want to beat up Eugene!

CASS: I’m dealing with... some stuff. Stuff I’m not ready to share–but when I am ready, you’ll be the first person I go to. Trust me.

here, as in BEA/WTH, cassandra has no trouble articulating what she wants from rapunzel. she doesn’t elaborate on exactly what’s going on, but she is upfront that 1) there is something, 2) she’s not ready to talk about it, 3) she’s planning on telling rapunzel once she’s ready, and 4) she wants rapunzel to stop pushing in the meantime. and... unlike in BEA/WTH, it seems like cass actually trusts rapunzel to listen to her because she’s taken to heart the way rapunzel apologized in COTB.

except... once again, rapunzel ignores her clearly stated boundaries. she’s too curious about what cassandra is up to to wait until cass is ready to share, so she follows cass and spies on her, taking the choice to share out of cassandra’s hands. then, despite recognizing that cassandra is not keen to be open about her relationship with andrew (rapunzel notes to eugene that cass seems “shy” about it), rapunzel decides to push for even more:

CASS: A double date?!

RAPUNZEL: Yes! They’re four person fun-machines!

CASS: Rapunzel, I appreciate your enthusiasm. I really, really do, but I- I’m not at a place where I wanna go public.

RAPUNZEL: Which is why I’ve come up with an itinerary of private activities for us.

CASS: [sighing] But we really aren’t that serious yet.

RAPUNZEL: No problem! We’ll keep it short and sweet, then!

cass is withholding some information here—but it’s information that really needs to be withheld. state secrets and intrigue on this level is not something you go around casually telling your friend, especially if that friend has a history of revealing important secrets.

that issue aside, though, cass is once again very straightforward here. she doesn’t want to go on a double date. she doesn’t want her relationship with andrew to be made public, because it isn’t serious. but every time cass draws a line, rapunzel modifies her proposal to “accommodate” the reason cass gives for saying no (don’t want to go public? that’s fine, we’ll do private activities. you’re not that serious yet? okay, we’ll only do a few casual things) instead of just accepting the no, until cass relents.

it’s also worth noting that when cass relents, she agrees to dinner—but rapunzel acts like she’s agreed to everything on the itinerary, plus a hot air balloon ride. when cass says “This double date needs to end now,” and “As soon as the balloon touches down, I’d like to be alone with [Andrew],” Rapunzel tries to protest: “But we haven’t even gotten to the tandem horseback ride yet.”

and finally, after all this, when rapunzel interrupts, putting both herself and cass in serious danger and enabling andrew to get away with the journal, cassandra has no problem telling rapunzel how she feels:

CASS: You know, after the exposition debacle, this was my big chance to prove to my Dad I have what it takes to be a guard. But you messed that all up, Rapunzel!

RAPUNZEL: Well, ugh, maybe if you had told me what you were planning, I wouldn’t have messed it up!

CASS: I couldn’t count on you not letting anything slip!

RAPUNZEL: Hey! I can keep things to myself!

CASS: Oh, yeah? Kinda like when you told Eugene about the night we snuck out?

RAPUNZEL: How did you know about—

CASS: Or when you told your Dad about those rocks I showed you?!

RAPUNZEL: I had to! He was gonna—

CASS: And how’d your mom find out who ate her last chocolate truffle? Hm?

RAPUNZEL: I turned myself in! The guilt was just—

CASS: Look, Raps, you’re my best friend. But you’re a sharer. It’s in your nature. And I’m fine with that, but you’ll have to be fine with respecting things I want to keep to myself.

RAPUNZEL: Even if those things have life-threatening consequences?

CASS: Okay, in my defense, no one’s life was really threatened until you showed up.

RAPUNZEL: ...You’re right. Alright, tell you what, let’s make a deal. I’ll understand you keeping some things to yourself, if you understand that when something’s bothering you, I’m gonna want to help. You’ve got my back, so let me have yours.

CASS: I suppose I can live with that.

notice... three things here.

first, not only does rapunzel not apologize, she blames cassandra for her own behavior. cass should have just told her everything from the get go—then she wouldn’t have needed to push, pester, and spy on cassandra to figure out what was going on and she wouldn’t have burst in and ruined the delicate sting operation cassandra was handling. in rapunzel’s mind, the problem isn’t that she didn’t respect cass’s clearly stated boundaries—the problem is that cass didn’t tell her every single detail about why she had those boundaries.

second, cass explains exactly why she wasn’t forthcoming: rapunzel has an established pattern of spilling important secrets, including important secrets, including secrets that cass expressly asked her not to share with anyone. cassandra didn’t just arbitrarily decide to keep the truth of her “relationship” with andrew a secret—she made a reasonable decision based on her estimation of rapunzel’s ability to keep her mouth shut. an estimation informed by rapunzel’s past behavior.

and third, rapunzel offers cass a “deal” that boils down to, “i’ll accept that you have boundaries if you accept that i am going to push them.” (she phrases this in a nice way, but based on her behavior in this episode and in future episodes, it is clear that by “help” and “have your back,” rapunzel doesn’t mean “i will back off if you tell me to back off, but i’m always willing to lend a hand if you ask.”) and cass accepts this.

and... that’s pretty much where the girls stand for the rest of s1-s2. big brothers of corona and to a lesser extent freebird are other episodes where cass lays down a boundary and rapunzel disregards it either in the name of “helping” or because it’s about something she just really, really wants to do. and cass continues to get frustrated and have angry outbursts in response to this behavior, but it never, ever changes.

[i have mentioned this before but the argument that cassandra is a bad friend to rapunzel in s1-s2 because of how “mean” she is, how “cranky,” how she “snaps” or “yells” at rapunzel, or “bullies” her, etc—what this argument ignores is the fact that, with the exception of the time in BEA when she’s panicking over real danger, cass always leads with soft boundaries or polite refusals, escalates to harder, blunter statements when rapunzel ignores her, and snaps/yells/gets angry in response to rapunzel transgressing those more firmly-stated boundaries. cass is not the aggressor in these situations.]

#2: rapunzel can’t or won’t see the power she has over cass.

this disregard for cassandra’s boundaries would be a huge problem on its own, but it’s compounded by another: cassandra is rapunzel’s servant. rapunzel is cassandra’s boss. and not only is rapunzel cassandra’s boss, she’s also the princess of corona. she is a queen-in-training.

their friendship does not, and can not, exist on level ground, because rapunzel has a HUGE degree of authority over cassandra’s life, and at the end of the day... if rapunzel wants them to do something, cassandra can’t say no. her choices are “do what rapunzel says” or “refuse direct orders from the princess of corona.” cassandra is well aware of this—painfully so, at times—and rapunzel is not.

let’s talk about rapunzel and the great tree.

context: cass had her lifelong dream of joining the royal guard within her grasp at the end of s1. she had just commanded a successful battle against an army of automatons and played a key role in rescuing the queen from her kidnapper. had she chosen to stay in corona, she could have gotten everything she ever wanted.

instead, she chose to accompany rapunzel on her quest into unknown territory, and the king himself charged her with keeping rapunzel safe during the journey. she takes this duty as seriously as able, but she is undermined constantly and her efforts to steer the group away from dangerous, unnecessary detours are, without exception, ignored. and, because the rest of the group is composed of adventurous people less risk-averse than cass is (and without the burden of responsibility for rapunzel’s safety weighing on their shoulders), cass becomes the group naysayer, the joyless stick-in-the-mud trying to ruin their fun. even rapunzel starts to see her that way, brushing off cass’s concern for her safety at the beginning of RATGT.

this is not a nice position to be in. on top of the boundary problem that has been present since s1, cass is now under a lot of pressure, her friends aren’t treating her very well, and she’s stressed out and unhappy.

RATGT is when all of this comes to a head. adira—whom cass feels, not without merit, has supplanted her as the protector of the group, as rapunzel’s confidant, and as the voice of reason—tells them they must go through the great tree, even though a dangerous enemy (one who already almost killed them, and one whom adira has just admitted she was once affiliated with) lives inside it. cassandra says this sounds like a bad idea to her, and once again, rapunzel overrules her advice.

they enter the tree. adira reveals that the tree once belonged to zhan tiri, and although she assures them the tree is harmless, they still end up in mortal peril twice: first because of the withering incantation, and second because of the giant carnivorous flower that tries to eat eugene, lance, pascal, and maximus. they press on, and after an exhausting hike, they make it to the top of the great tree. adira suggests they camp for the night, cass says no way, that’s a terrible idea. and... well:

RAPUNZEL: Cass... We could use the rest.

CASS: Rapunzel, this place almost got us killed an hour ago.

ADIRA: And thankfully, I was there to prevent it.

CASS: You stay out of this, Adira!

ADIRA: I think you should calm down.

CASS: You know what I think? I think you’re playing us. I think you led us here on purpose, and for some sick reason, you wanted Rapunzel to find that incantation and read it.

RAPUNZEL: Come on, Cass, listen to yourself—

CASS: Rapunzel, I’m telling you right now, we need to get out of this tree, but more importantly, we need to lose Adira before she gets us all killed.

RAPUNZEL: I can’t do that, Cass.

CASS: What do you mean you ‘can’t do that’? Of course you can! Are you that obliviously naive that you can’t see—

RAPUNZEL: ENOUGH, Cassandra! No one is getting rid of anyone! Is that clear?

CASS: ...Yes, Your Highness. I’ll keep first watch.

now... this is absolutely not cassandra’s finest moment. she’s upset and acting paranoid and yelling at adira because she’s exhausted, she was drained by the withering incantation an hour ago, and this is six months of frustration and unhappiness all coming to a boil at the worst possible moment. and this is not rapunzel’s finest moment either, because she’s also exhausted and stressed and reacting emotionally to cass’s outburst. neither of them behave well in this argument.

but the key thing to takeaway here is not that they’re both acting irrational and distraught, but that this is the moment when the other shoe drops.

rapunzel is a princess who grew up powerless. not only is she unaccustomed to wielding power, she barely grasps that she has it at all. and while cassandra, her servant, is keenly aware of the class chasm between herself and rapunzel, rapunzel’s ignorance of it—or at least, willingness to ignore it—enabled them to become close friends. it gave cass a level of comfort with rapunzel, and once they were outside of corona, those boundaries got fuzzier.

until rapunzel pulls rank during this argument.

when rapunzel screams “ENOUGH, Cassandra!” the whole group is visibly shocked and uncomfortable. lance even grimaces. cassandra lets go of rapunzel’s arm and retreats like she’s been stung. no one says anything, no one steps up to defend her—not because she’s in the wrong, but because she crossed the line and directly challenged rapunzel’s authority. and she can’t do that, because rapunzel is the princess, and cass is her servant. and rapunzel is willing to use that authority to shut her down.

that is what makes this moment so painful for cass. when push came to shove, rapunzel treated her like a servant, not a friend.

but rapunzel... doesn’t understand this. she’s confused about why cass got upset and why cass reacted the way she did during the argument. so when she goes to try to patch things up, she doesn’t actually apologize, and she completely misses the core of why cass is hurt:

RAPUNZEL: So... Earlier. That got awkward, huh?

CASS: Huh. Which part?

RAPUNZEL: I know it’s been an unusual day...

CASS: You know it’s not just about Adira, right? I mean, she’s a jerk, and I can’t stand her, but it’s just... Since when did you stop trusting my judgment?

RAPUNZEL: Cass. You are the closest thing that I will ever have to a big sister, but I’m not that naive girl fresh out of the tower anymore. I am going to be queen someday, and I can promise you I’m going to make decisions that you’re going to disagree with. And I need you to be okay with that. ...Well... I better get some rest. I’m on the next shift.

rapunzel doesn’t just not apologize for pulling rank while shouting cass down in front of their friends. she tells cass i am the queen, i will make decisions you don’t like, you need to be okay with that. and i think it’s worth noting that this is how cass reacts:

cass sort of slumps while rapunzel is talking, but when rapunzel says “I need you to be okay with that,” cassandra pulls herself up, squeezes her eyes shut, and takes a deep breath. and then she makes herself smile.

it’s not a happy smile. it’s not a cheered-up, feeling-better smile. this is the smile of a woman who just opened up to her best friend about one of her deepest insecurities and got told that her feelings don’t matter, her friend is the queen and she just needs to deal with it. so that’s what cass is doing here: she’s sucking it up and dealing with it.

is this the message rapunzel wanted to send? no. but what rapunzel doesn’t get is that her friendship with cass doesn’t exist separately from her relationship with cass as a queen to her servant. any pretense that it could shattered the instant she pulled rank. so while rapunzel is trying to speak as one friend to another here, cassandra responds as a servant.

and now let’s talk about rapunzel: day one.

cass, of course, gets burnt in the great tree, but that in and of itself doesn’t have anything to do with the question of whether this friendship is toxic or not. the only thing to bear in mind is that, while using the incantation during the battle in the great tree, rapunzel says two things to cassandra: “I got this, Cass, go!” and: “I can’t... control it!”

this is important because, in RDO, rapunzel only remembers (or acknowledges) the first of those statements. it’s possible that she genuinely forgot admitting she couldn’t break herself out of the incantation, and it’s possible that she’s selectively choosing to focus on telling cass that she was fine and to get out of the tree as a way of alleviating the guilt she feels. which one is not really important. what is important is this:

rapunzel blames cass for getting injured in the great tree.

in fact, she’s is angry at cassandra for getting injured in the great tree.

RAPUNZEL: I get why Cass is mad at me. She told me not to use the decay spell back at the Great Tree, and I did, and she hurt her hand. But if she had just listened to me and stayed out of it, this all could have been avoided! And I feel like we could work things out, but she refuses to talk about it! [...] I’ve gotta find a way to get her to talk to me.

and

RAPUNZEL: It’s okay if you’re mad at me. I’m mad at you too. I told you that I had it under control, and you didn’t listen.

so... this is the dynamic at play here.

first, rapunzel constantly disregards cassandra’s boundaries in general. cass knows this.

second, rapunzel insists that it’s all cassandra’s fault that she got injured, because rapunzel either doesn’t remember or won’t acknowledge that her saying “I can’t control it” is what prompted cassandra to grab her.

third, immediately before cass was injured, rapunzel pulled rank to shut cassandra down in an argument, shouting at and humiliating her in front of their friends. a few minutes later, when cass opened up about her hurt feelings and insecurities, rapunzel reiterated that she is in charge, and cass just needs to “be okay” with that.

and fourth, rapunzel is making cassandra’s pain—her physical pain, and her hurt and angry feelings about having been horrifically injured by her best friend—all about rapunzel. rapunzel wants to talk things out so everything can be okay again and she can stop feeling guilty about what she did to cass, and the fact that cass isn’t ready to talk about it doesn’t matter because rapunzel wants to talk about it NOW.

[sidebar: “We can’t just push this aside and forget it like it never happened!” lmao season three would like to have a word with you.]

what... exactly is cass supposed to do here?

if she says she doesn’t want to talk about it, rapunzel will pester and prod and wheedle her until she snaps. if she gives rapunzel the cold shoulder, as it’s implied she’s been doing, rapunzel will manufacture a situation where it’s just the two of them alone together so she can back cass into a corner and make her talk about it. if she does what rapunzel told her to do—i.e., be okay with decisions rapunzel makes as queen—by saying things like “Look, if you feel that way, then it’s fine. We’re good,” rapunzel will refuse to accept that and continue to bug her.

and if rapunzel, her boss, the princess, has decided that the fault for cass’s injury lies on cassandra’s shoulders... and if the last time cass opened up about her feelings with rapunzel, rapunzel effectively told her to just deal with it... why would cass want to subject herself to this conversation?

she literally does not have a single good option here. every choice available to her sucks.

i think this is why we don’t hear rapunzel apologize at the end of RDO; why the resolution is cass saying “i’m still angry, but i’ll get over it.” she’s still doing what rapunzel told her to do in the great tree: trying her best to suck up her feelings and be okay with rapunzel’s decision.

i don’t think cass is lying at the end of RDO. she really does feel sorry for using the wand, she really does intend to get over her anger. but i also think she is holding a lot of stuff back because she no longer feels safe expressing her true feelings around rapunzel. this is not s1 cass, who was comfortable spontaneously expressing and explaining her boundaries and frustration and pain to rapunzel. this is a cass who has learned that her feelings don’t matter to rapunzel, not really. that rapunzel is more invested in “getting along” than in actually making sure cassandra feels better.

so she turtles up and toes that line as much as she is able.

and that is where the toxicity in their friendship comes from.

rapunzel means well. god bless her, she really, truly does. and she really, truly loves cass with all her heart. all she wants is for cassandra to be happy. absolutely none of her behavior towards cass is malicious or intentionally cruel.

but she is a nineteen year old who was raised by an abusive, narcissistic kidnapper and was then, less than a week after escaping that environment, dumped into a position of enormous authority with zero preparation. she doesn’t know how to have healthy relationships. her relationship with eugene is healthy because eugene is an easy-going, well-adjusted guy who is on equal footing with her and who doesn’t have any qualms about letting her in on his private thoughts or feelings and who is both willing and able to gently help her correct course when she inadvertently veers into yikes territory.

but cassandra has baggage and the hard personal boundaries that come with it. and cassandra is rapunzel’s servant, with all the restriction and limits that implies. for rapunzel, trying to be cassandra’s friend is like trying to climb a mountain when she’s just barely learnt how to crawl. she has no fucking clue what she’s doing and she is not equipped to handle it.

i think cassandra gets this, and that’s why she gives rapunzel so many chances, why in s1 she tries so hard to help rapunzel understand where she’s coming from. but it doesn’t get better—in fact, it gets worse. (a lifetime of behaviors absorbed from your abusive “mother” do not disappear in a year’s time.) and it destroys cassandra’s mental health, makes her miserable, leads her to repress her feelings more and more throughout the tail end of s2, and leaves her wide open for zhan tiri to take advantage of in the shell house.

at the same time, the very fact that none of this is intentional or malicious on rapunzel’s part means that this is a relationship that can be repaired. rapunzel understands cass a lot better in s3, and she’s made huge strides in healing from gothel’s abuse. the whole moonstone/zhan tiri debacle ends up being a giant reset button on their relationship: they still love each other deeply, but they’re effectively starting over from scratch, and they’ll be taking it slowly by dint of cassandra leaving corona. their only contact will be via letters for the foreseeable future, which will (a) give cass time to get her head on straight and figure out what she wants to do with her life, which she desperately needs, and (b) give rapunzel some much-needed practice in being patient, not prying, not letting her nosiness lead her to step on cassandra’s boundaries, etc. and in leaving corona, cass also left her servitude to rapunzel, so they can finally approach each other on an equal footing.

#rta #cassandra #rapunzel #this got SO LONG and i would apologize but i'm not. sorry #tangled-dreamer-97

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fangirlovestuff · 4 years

Text

Child’s Play - Chris Evans x reader

a/n- Hey lovely people! the movie in this is completely made up with excessive use of random plot/name generators lol. also, the Melissa I mention is Melissa Fumero who I love and plays Amy on Brooklyn 99, and Anthony is Mackie who we all know and love. Enjoy! <3

Summary: You’re a director and you finally got to direct your husband chris in a movie. Now you just need to get through the press tour...

Word Count: ~1,780

Warnings: none that i’m aware of

You stepped out onto the stage when the interviewer called your name, waving at the crowd which was cheering and clapping.

"And without further ado, let's give a round of applause to Captain America himself, Chris Evans!"

Chris lightly stepped onto the stage, waving at the screaming fans as he took his place next to you. He reached out and squeezed your hand in his, and you returned a squeeze. You both tended to get nervous at these press panels and interviews, even if this one was one you were lucky enough to do together.

"It's so great to have you all here today! The entire cast of the hit movie The Invisible Lights!" the interviewer started and the crowd applauded once more. "First off, I want to start with a question for Chris," she said. He smiled and nodded at her to continue. "Your character in this movie, William Brown, is a sorcerer, but in a casual way, that's like his thing. For you, who, I believe, have never played a character with outright magic powers before, how hard was it to find a window and relate to him?"

"Yeah, it was actually kinda easy, even easier than some other characters I've played, because—"

"He's a wizard guys, it's not that complicated," you cut in and Chris laughed.

"Almost," he says and smiles, "but what I was gonna say before my lovely wife here interrupted me," you made a kissy face at him and he chuckled once more, "was that Will is actually just a nice guy, he experiences everything with the same compassion and excitement and fears just like us normal human beings do, and magic is just a cool bonus to that. So no, I wouldn't say relating to him was any more challenging than to any other character."

"Thank you, Chris, that was a great answer," the interviewer smiled. "Now Melissa, I actually have a question for you too," she turned to her, "we all know and love you as Amy Santiago, who is a very comedic character, so what drove you towards this part of Nancy, who's just a normal person who's trying to do her job and doesn't get to make as many jokes in this movie as other characters do?"

"Well, I think Amy and Nancy are similar in a lot of ways, you know, they're both very dedicated to their job and are very rational women, but what drew me to this was actually the differences between them. Nancy is less type A, she's a bit more unsure of herself and is more of a "normal person" whereas Amy is more the "nerd" type. Getting to play someone like that just appealed to me a lot."

The interviewer asked you a question next. "So how was directing this movie for you? What's it like directing your husband in a movie?" the audience cheers a little at that.

"Well, I gotta say it's one of the most fun sets I've been on, and not only because Chris was there," you smiled. "I was obviously a huge fan of Melissa and I was stoked she could do this movie with us, and really the whole set was very upbeat and just fun, especially the scenes we shot with the kids, who were lovely. The lead actor was… a bit much honestly. He's just…" you shook your head, sighing, and Chris laughed. "He's just too handsome for his own good. It's terrible really," you laughed.

"No, but honestly, working with him was so much fun. I've always known the talent he has, but being able to really witness it firsthand and going through the whole process of making a character and a movie with him was wonderful. "

The crowd "awwww" ed at that and the interviewer continued. "Would you say directing him was harder or easier than someone else, someone you don't necessarily know?"

"Listen, directing Chris… well, it's not that different than what I do every day," you shrugged and turned to Chris, "you do need a lot of chaperoning babe," you smiled. He laughed and reached for his chest like he always does. The crowd laughed as well and you gave a little giggle as well.

"It's true," Chris smiles and says, "she's always like, 'Chris do the dishes,' and 'Isn't it your turn to walk Dodge today?'"

"That is not true Christopher!" you put your hand to your chest as if offended. "Besides, that was a terrible impression of me, I can't believe you do this for a living!" you threw your hands up and shook your head in disbelief and you all laughed.

"Um, but to give a more serious answer," you turned to the interviewer once more, "I think in every movie you direct, you get to form a connection with the people you direct. The fact that Chris and I already have that connection is both a blessing and a curse because on the one hand, we're more comfortable trying new things and taking risks, but on the other hand that means it's easier for us to get off track and just kinda goof around instead of doing our jobs," you chuckled. "But I do think we handled it pretty well," you smiled.

"Well that leads me to my next question, which is for the rest of the cast who aren't you and Chris," the interviewer smiled, "how did they do with keeping it professional on set?"

Everyone laughed and you and Chris smiled at each other.

"Terrible," said Anthony, who played David, a police officer in the movie who was good friends with Chris' character. "Well, no, when we were shooting the actual scenes, they were fine, but every single break we had, these two-" he looked over at Chris and you, "look at them! They're making heart eyes at each other right now!" he rolled his eyes.

You and Chris looked away from each other and smiled while the crowd cheered a little.

"I think we were totally fine," said Chris while he took your hand in his.

"Well, I guess they weren't that bad," Melissa said.

"I have one more question for you guys and then we're gonna take some fan questions. So, what was it like working with the kids on set?"

"They were really cute," Melissa said, "so I had a lot of fun working with them," she shrugs and smiles.

"Speak for yourself," you said. "Well, okay, they were very cute and it really was a blast having them on set. We basically said for people who have relatives who were about the age we looked for that they should bring them because we needed a whole class. So my niece was there, Chris' niece and nephew, Mel's kid… we had a lot of fun, but in terms of production time, kids are kind of difficult. Not to say it's the kids who were there, because they were truly lovely and it's like that with all kids. So yeah, working with them was a really good time but also cost quite a bit of time and we already were short on time, so it was definitely a challenge."

You all took some questions from the audience and then the interviewer said, "Alright guys, we have time for one last question, who's next?"

A girl who was a bit younger than you came up to the microphone. "Hi! First of all, can I just say I'm such a big fan of all of you guys," she seemed nervous and you all smiled at her. "So, my question is a spin on an earlier question and it's for Chris – You've spoken a lot in the past about the importance of a strong-willed director to really bring in the movie nicely, so how was it having your wife direct you in a movie?"

"Wow, you're really setting me up to fail here, aren't you?" he laughed and you turned to look at him, an interested look in your eyes.

"Sure, well, I really can't say enough good things about her. Both as a director and just as a person, she's got a real talent of making people feel very comfortable and that definitely comes in handy on a movie set. She knows really well when she wants to listen and get ideas from us and when she needs to steer the ship herself a bit more, and I think I'm speaking for everyone here when I say that with her, the vibe on set is always a good one. She's very attentive to things that I would've never thought about that really make the movie what it is and she's very capable of standing at the helm of a movie and saying 'okay, this is what needs to happen and this is how we're gonna do it.' If I already thought the world of her before making a movie with her, I can't really tell you how much I admire her now. It's an embarrassment of riches really," he smiled at you and you returned it.

The audience "awwww"s once more. "Anything else you'll be making soon?" someone shouts suddenly. Everyone on stage laughs, but the interviewer starts talking so you don't have to answer the question.

"Sadly, that's all the time we've got, so give it up for the cast of The Invisible Lights! It was a pleasure having you here today, thank you so much!"

You all got up and waved at the audience before walking off stage.

When you left the stage, Chris came up behind you, circling his arms around you and splaying his palms on your belly.

"That was a close call," he said softly in your ear.

You hummed and leaned back into him. "Yeah, we're lucky the bump isn't visible yet," you smiled and craned your neck in order to kiss him properly.

"You know if it gets too hard, we can cut the press tour short right?" Chris says, looking at you with a worried gaze.

"If you keep saying that after every interview I'm gonna start thinking you don't want to be here," you laughed. "It's fine, really," you reassured him.

"Okay," he smiles and leans down to kiss you once more.

"Hey lovebirds! Didn't we just agree you were professional? Don't ruin that image!" Anthony yelled at you. The rest of the group has already continued, leaving you a little behind.

"Coming!" you both yelled and laughed.

"Can you believe in seven months we're gonna have the most perfect kid on this planet?" Chris asked while he moved to stand next to you and take your hand.

You simply beamed and squeezed his hand in yours. You couldn't wait.

Chris Taglist: @swatson06 @horny-nd-bored @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds @phoebe-21-99 @wintersoldierslut @iceebabies @wanessalopesueiros @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree @kaitcordx25 @bequeening @steve-barry-damon-logan @itscrazycherryblossomcollection @hollandxmarvel @darkwitchfromthesouth

if you wanna join / be removed from the taglist, comment/message me! this is a taglist for Chris and his characters. much love <3

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans fluff #chris evans imagine #director!reader #anthony mackie #melissa fumero #mcu #husband!chris evans

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omegawolverine · 4 years

Note

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

#shit self #asks #the get down #mylene cruz #shaolin fantastic #dizzee kipling #long post #analysis #info dump #idk if anon has seen tgd or is just being nice so i tried givinh background to things #kinz #bangerz #discourse

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