#so incredibly stupid

[lichtecht]

PART 26

of the dfk audiobook translation

@cnka

Martina: „I need to tell you something. I’m not a doctor’s daughter. I don’t have a phone because I don’t have money. And my clothes are second-hand. Not vintage.“ Jo: „Why didn’t you say anything? I told you about my mother too.“ Matze: „You know, Martina, I think that you don’t have to act like you’re rich. You’re still you!“ Martina: „I know. But I just wanted to be someone else.“ Matze: „Uli shouldn’t climb up there either.“ Martina: „And you don’t have to do boxing if you don’t want to.“ Matze: „And you, Jo, don’t have to be so cool all the time.“ Jo: (laughs) „I am cool! And you, Matze, are way more clever than you always think.“ Matze: „Really?“ Jo: „Yeah!“ Martina: (giggles happily) Matze, genuinely: „Thanks!“

Narrator (audiobook): But their good mood abruptly vanishes when they meet Ruda and her gang down in town.

Martina: „Oh no.“ Jo: „Not good!“ Matze: „Externs.“ Jo: „Technically it’s our territory…“ Martina: „We’re outnumbered.“ Matze: „We can’t just run away!“ Martina: „I don’t know!“ Jo: „Whatever. We stick together here.“ Matze: „For Uli.“ Martina: „For Uli.“ Jo: „Yeah. For Uli.“

Narrator (audiobook): The three gather all their courage and approach the Externs - they’re prepared for the worst. As always, Ruda takes the word.

Ruda: „Uh. So. Well- We didn’t want it to come to this. We’re sorry.“ Sebi: „It just went way too far, that Internals-Externs thing.“ Martina: „Yeah. We all really overdid it.“

Narrator (Nichtraucher): And now? On this day, they didn’t have an answer. So Martina focused on studying for the admission test with the help of Justus Bökh.

SCENE CHANGE

[Note: the red text on that picture says "Matze - losing is not an option - Papa"]

Matze: „Hello, Papa? I won’t go to the boxing camp this year.“

Narrator (Nichtraucher): Matze prepared his holidays.

Matze: „I’ll stay here with Uli!“

SCENE CHANGE

Uli: „Mama!“

Narrator (Nichtraucher): Uli was brought new laundry and the school books for next year.

SCENE CHANGE

Narrator (Nichtraucher): The handsome Theodor felt the pressure to be solely responsible for the entertainment at the closing celebration.

SCENE CHANGE

Jo: „For you.“

Narrator (audiobook): Martina can’t believe that Jo is gifting her the phone.

Martina: „What?“ Jo: „I'm getting a new one anyway.“

Martina: „Jo, that- I can’t accept that!“ Jo: „How else am I gonna call you in the holidays?“

They hug.

SCENE CHANGE

Martina studies in the light of her flashlight while Jo sleeps.

Narrator (Nichtraucher): And apart from this nice gesture from Jo, not least because of the amount of school material, everything seemed to be heading towards a closing celebration without a play for Martina. To which Martina, Jo, Matze and Uli had still invited me though.

SCENE CHANGE

The doors to the assembly hall open. Kids run in first, followed by their parents and the older kids.

Narrator (audiobook): It’s finally time. The day of the closing celebration has come. Parents, siblings, teachers and the students rush into the assembly hall in crowds.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

"You and me, Ethan. Together we go save Rose, and then we can grind Miranda into paste!"

[ihatethis-things]

Just spent a million years arguing with this girl on TikTok over the actual dumbest shit and she has the gall to delete all her comments, and/or block me,

Like girlie you started this !

[courfee]

the complimentary james to this regulus

[randomfusilier]

no,I am stupid

[twinstxrs]

fabian’s insistence on calling someone to tell them about lucy & yolanda because he thought people just deserved to know, out of respect. both deeply sweet & incredibly gutting. (bill seacaster move over that’s MY darling boy)

[lightlysaltedsalt]

I can't get over this interaction for some reason. Aside from the obvious silliness, its just. Arthur is talking to an ancient Eldritch horror that's committed countless atrocities, and a rotting severed head with ties to a hell dimension. And he's just rolling his eyes at their silliness and calling them boys. They're objectively horrifying creatures but to Arthur, they're just boys. They're just. I don't know. They're his boys. It doesn't matter what they are. They're just boys.

[egophiliac]

CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS

there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head

I don't know why I decided to draw it this way

[maespri]

people like to make langa out to be the clueless one in renga when i wholeheartedly believe it's the other way around. langa straight-up tells his mom he has a crush on reki. reki is barely aware romance is a thing he can do. dude got called a third-wheel between langa & adam and said "three wheels...? but that's not enough for a skateboard..." there is absolutely nothing going on inside his head

[sadmages]

Gale stabilizing all 3 party members from death after not getting hit himself at all and then dropping this bomb while everyone's on the verge of death. So funny of him

[stromer]

and thirdly, i didn't want him to beat me up

[the-apology-dance]

I LIVE FOR BOOK AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY

Apparently in the book, Aziraphale and Crowley are implied to be a gay couple MANY TIMES.

A girl at Warlock’s birthday party calls Aziraphale a faggot.

Anathema automatically assumes that Crowley and Aziraphale are a gay couple after Crowley says “Goodnight miss. Get in, Angel.” to Aziraphale

Also, One scene I wish would’ve been acted out as it is in the book is when they both get shot with the paintball guns. How it happens in the book is Aziraphale ends up FALLING BACKWARDS INTO A RHODODENDRON BUSH and Crowley sinks down on a statue.

Crowley believes he is bleeding YELLOW and DYING and instead of, ya know, helping Aziraphale UP AS HIS ANGEL HAS JUST SAUNTERED VAGUELY DOWNWARDS INTO A BUSH, HE JUST CHOOSES TO CRAWL INTO THE BUSH AS WELL, BELIEVING SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH BIOLOGY. Aziraphale tells Crowley it hurt and it hit him under his ribs, which he brushes off TO ASK IF ANGELS BLEED BLUE.

Aziraphale proceeds to the same self examination as Crowley.

Crowley only figures out it is PAINT when he TASTES IT. They conclude it is PAINT.

6000 years on earth, and these idiots don’t know what a paintball gun is.

I LOVE THESE IDIOTS.

(EDIT: how did this post get so many likes???😆)

[dizzybizz]

cute date idea: feel a bit homesick while watching aurora borealis for a bit before absolutely destroying yourselves on black sand

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

hi wintersberg nation

[lovesickeros]

☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]

{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ]

This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.

She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.

But it'd been almost a week since then.

The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.

That counted for something.

Not much, but something!

..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.

There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.

She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.

So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.

Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.

Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.

Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.

She really didn't like it.

There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.

She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.

She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.

That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.

Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.

But he wasn't.

He was out running her nation, instead.

And what was she doing? Nothing!

She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.

Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.

Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.

..She wasn't ready.

What was she supposed to say?

Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?

She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.

For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.

Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.

Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.

It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

"Focalors?"

The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.

She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.

"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"

The silence is deafening.

She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!

"Lady Furina?"

Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.

"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.

Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.

Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.

"Why aren't you killing me?"

The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.

She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.

"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."

The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.

He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.

..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?

How unfair.

"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"

She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.

..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.

She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.

For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.

Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.

For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.

Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.

She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.

She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.

She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.

"Again."

[tortelorrini]

I’m ready for a hot Glenn summer but I do NAUT think he’s ready yet