#so in the tags it is

[astrolage]

i thought everyone else just thought i was kind of a wimp for not dealing with the pain as well as they did

Growing up with family members who were also autistic or had other disabilities, some of them confirmed, some of them not, that really was exactly what I felt. That I was just not handling the pain.

Except, I discovered, growing older, they had in fact suffered for it whenever they handled the pain "well," because it wouldn't stop them from becoming exhausted and it wouldn't stop them from becoming stressed.

My family will occasionally characterize that I've become less of an inconsiderate ass. And they're right! I am! Because I started keeping track of everything that hurt me! And I started avoiding those things (or using assistive devices to reduce the specific sensation that is painful)!

I started wearing noise-cancelling headphones to dinners out, to the movie theater, to public events. And all of a sudden, I stopped being "too tired" and "needing to take a nap" (sleep being the only thing my family considers sacrosanct, it was always the thing I claimed if I wanted to get out of something).

But the people I know who were taught that it doesn't matter if you're in pain, that you're just supposed to withstand it and move on? They're "grumpy." They get irate. They'll start snapping, even if they don't mean to. But they'll do it! They'll power through! And then be told to fuck off because they're being an asshole, which is the only point when they'll get the time away from the Situation to cool off.

I didn't put two and two together for years that pain makes you irate, but boy when I did…

one of the things that makes autism a disability (and why some of us choose to label it as such rather than an “alternate neurotype”) is the stress. 

part of autism is just being incredibly stressed. overstimulation? stress. holding a conversation? stress. something happening to our schedule? stress. people talk about how often autism is recognized and diagnosed via our stress responses (like meltdowns) because it is just so common to see autistic people stressed because of lack of accommodations to how our brains work.

and this matters because stress kills. stress causes a lot of health issues, or it can trigger pre-existing ones by making certain chronic conditions flare up. i once had a psychiatrist very unhelpfully tell me i “just need to manage my stress” when the stress i was describing was things i could not avoid in neurotypical society and can’t “just get over”. i can do “self care” all i like but i cannot at the very base level change the way my brain inputs information and reacts accordingly.

[gophersdomain]

something something despite the all horrors and tragedies of the world, love was there and that's all that matters

[mroddmod]

the queen of the disco or whatever

[juunipupu]

Knight and the enemy within

[chiimeramanticore]

compilation of this type of post

edit: idk how much this is gonna do but since making this post i got covid and need some help, please consider it

[musashi]

hunting down this post to find that OP turned of reblogs has me heartbroken.

it's time.

[candycatfalls]

Wait the book of bill appearing to Ford first is fucking HILARIOUS actually. Ford literally killed Bill less than a month ago, and Bill's still banking so hard on him getting him out of therapy that the book shows up in Ford's stuff MULTIPLE TIMES. Girl the situationship has been over for thirty years give it up 💀

[loz-tearsofahomo]

tea

[pookapufferfish]

[kiryuing]

[chessb0r3d]

Analysis so bad you don't even know what it's talking about anymore.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

[stemmmm]

bad youtube clickbait thumbnail that reads "I think I just had a therapy session with a DEMON???"

[sunnylolli]

Something, something, what if it all went really wrong and they were forced to speed-run the brotherly bonding

[gemboundprism]

1959 chevy impala that i made in spore, inspired by @making-you-in-spore