#so in the tags it is
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astrolage · 6 months ago
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i thought everyone else just thought i was kind of a wimp for not dealing with the pain as well as they did
Growing up with family members who were also autistic or had other disabilities, some of them confirmed, some of them not, that really was exactly what I felt. That I was just not handling the pain.
Except, I discovered, growing older, they had in fact suffered for it whenever they handled the pain "well," because it wouldn't stop them from becoming exhausted and it wouldn't stop them from becoming stressed.
My family will occasionally characterize that I've become less of an inconsiderate ass. And they're right! I am! Because I started keeping track of everything that hurt me! And I started avoiding those things (or using assistive devices to reduce the specific sensation that is painful)!
I started wearing noise-cancelling headphones to dinners out, to the movie theater, to public events. And all of a sudden, I stopped being "too tired" and "needing to take a nap" (sleep being the only thing my family considers sacrosanct, it was always the thing I claimed if I wanted to get out of something).
But the people I know who were taught that it doesn't matter if you're in pain, that you're just supposed to withstand it and move on? They're "grumpy." They get irate. They'll start snapping, even if they don't mean to. But they'll do it! They'll power through! And then be told to fuck off because they're being an asshole, which is the only point when they'll get the time away from the Situation to cool off.
I didn't put two and two together for years that pain makes you irate, but boy when I did…
one of the things that makes autism a disability (and why some of us choose to label it as such rather than an “alternate neurotype”) is the stress. 
part of autism is just being incredibly stressed. overstimulation? stress. holding a conversation? stress. something happening to our schedule? stress. people talk about how often autism is recognized and diagnosed via our stress responses (like meltdowns) because it is just so common to see autistic people stressed because of lack of accommodations to how our brains work.
and this matters because stress kills. stress causes a lot of health issues, or it can trigger pre-existing ones by making certain chronic conditions flare up. i once had a psychiatrist very unhelpfully tell me i “just need to manage my stress” when the stress i was describing was things i could not avoid in neurotypical society and can’t “just get over”. i can do “self care” all i like but i cannot at the very base level change the way my brain inputs information and reacts accordingly.
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mroddmod · 2 months ago
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the queen of the disco or whatever
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chiimeramanticore · 6 months ago
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compilation of this type of post
edit: idk how much this is gonna do but since making this post i got covid and need some help, please consider it
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 8 months ago
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Knowledge Revenge.
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stemmmm · 1 month ago
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bad youtube clickbait thumbnail that reads "I think I just had a therapy session with a DEMON???"
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snakesinsocks2005 · 8 months ago
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Pin for survivors
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gemboundprism · 4 months ago
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1959 chevy impala that i made in spore, inspired by @making-you-in-spore
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brawnie · 8 months ago
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*grabbing mlm shippers by the shoulders* guys nobody needs to be the twink. nobody needs to be the sub. nobody needs to be the femboy. they can both be big fat hairy men who bask in each others masculinity or they can both be unspeakable monstrous creatures with inhuman genitalia it’s okay I’m holding your hand. Let me show you the way
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sunnylolli · 1 month ago
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Something, something, what if it all went really wrong and they were forced to speed-run the brotherly bonding
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cloud-ya · 8 months ago
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outcast of the village
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lotrmusical · 9 months ago
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never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱
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candycatfalls · 3 months ago
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Wait the book of bill appearing to Ford first is fucking HILARIOUS actually. Ford literally killed Bill less than a month ago, and Bill's still banking so hard on him getting him out of therapy that the book shows up in Ford's stuff MULTIPLE TIMES. Girl the situationship has been over for thirty years give it up 💀
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butchfalin · 1 year ago
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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mosslingg · 3 months ago
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life lessons with grunkle ford
you can support my work on kofi!
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lgbtlunaverse · 7 months ago
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The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
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