#so im using crutches to help walk easier

[cursedcollagen]

I had to run/move fast to catch the bus on my way home from campus, and I was so nervous about trying to do so with my crutches... but holy shit, did I pick up speed. I was much less winded afterwards than I would expect.

[writeriguess]

Hiya! I LOVE your work! Im currently on crutches, and I was wondering if you could do a Kirishima x fem reader where reader has crutches please? If not it’s totally fine!

Lean on Me

It had been a long day at UA, and despite your injuries, you still managed to make it through the halls with a determined expression, your crutches tapping rhythmically against the ground. You’d gotten used to the balance, but it still wasn’t easy.

"Hey, hey, hold up!" A familiar voice echoed behind you. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. Kirishima, as always, was loud and enthusiastic. He caught up to you easily, his broad grin immediately making you feel a little less weary.

"What's up, Eijiro?" you asked, trying to sound nonchalant, even as your muscles ached from the effort of moving around.

He reached out, gently tapping the top of your crutch, his grin widening. "You know, you're making crutches look cool. Like, I didn't think it was possible, but here you are, owning it!"

You snorted, shaking your head. "Yeah, sure. I'm definitely the most fashionable crutch user here."

Kirishima chuckled, moving to your side to walk with you. "For real though, you good? You've been pushing yourself all day."

You raised an eyebrow, glancing at him with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. "I'm fine, just a little tired. Nothing I can't handle."

"That's not what I mean, y'know." Kirishima’s tone softened, and he matched his pace with yours. "You’re not used to all this extra work, so let me help you."

Before you could protest, Kirishima reached down, easily lifting your backpack off your shoulder, and slung it over his own.

"You don’t have to do that," you said, feeling a little flustered at the gesture. "I can carry it."

He just laughed again, his warmth filling the air around you. "Nope. I insist. You’re already doing enough with those crutches." He nudged your arm with his elbow. "Let me make it easier on you."

You couldn’t argue with that, especially when the weight of your backpack was starting to drag you down. So you just sighed and leaned on him a little as the two of you continued down the hallway.

The quiet between you didn’t last long. Kirishima turned to you, a serious look crossing his face for a moment. "So, for real… You sure you're not pushing yourself too hard? I can see you wincing sometimes when you walk, and I’m not okay with that."

You felt a warmth spread in your chest at his concern, but you shook your head. "It's not bad. I just… don’t want to be a burden. You’ve already done enough by walking me around today."

Kirishima stopped in his tracks, turning you toward him gently by the shoulders. He looked down at you with that soft, earnest expression he reserved only for moments like this. "You’re never a burden, (Y/N). Don’t even think that for a second. You don’t have to do everything on your own."

His words made your heart flutter, and you bit your lip, feeling that familiar warmth spread to your cheeks. "Eijiro, I—"

"Hey, you’re my friend, right?" His voice was so full of sincerity. "That means I’m here for you. I’m not letting you struggle alone."

You hesitated, but then allowed yourself to lean on him more. "Okay, okay. Maybe I’ve been trying to do too much myself."

Kirishima smiled brightly, the smile that always made your heart skip a beat. "Good! So, from now on, I’m gonna help. Anything you need, I’m here. Crutches? I got you. A hand with classwork? I’m your guy. Need a break from walking? I’ll carry you if I have to."

You let out a soft laugh at the last part, and Kirishima’s goofy expression made you feel at ease. "Alright, alright. You really don’t have to carry me, but I appreciate the offer."

He puffed out his chest, beaming with pride. "It’s a heroic gesture, (Y/N)! Let me show you the true meaning of teamwork!"

"Your sense of humor is something else," you teased, nudging him lightly.

"Hey, I try," he said with a wink, and you couldn’t help but smile in return.

He then adjusted your crutches as you moved forward, making sure you were steady. "But seriously, if you ever need me, just let me know. I mean it."

You nodded, feeling more supported than you had all day. With Kirishima by your side, you didn’t feel quite as helpless as you had before. And maybe that’s all you really needed—someone who cared enough to stick by you through the struggle.

"Thanks, Eijiro," you murmured, feeling a warmth in your chest that wasn’t from the physical exertion.

He grinned, bumping his shoulder against yours. "Of course, (Y/N). You’re my best friend. Always got your back."

And just like that, you felt a little lighter, knowing that with his support, you could make it through anything—even on crutches.

[lizard-shifter-noms]

Still Subject to Change Chapter 22 (NEW)

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Hello everyone! i decided to repost arc 1 of SSTC

(the chapters were way too long and had a bunch of typos but hopefully this will make reading easier)

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

if there are still any grammatical errors i’m sorry.

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He really was feeling guilty about stabbing me, That was strangely relieving to know.

But I couldn’t blame him, he thought he was going to die.

“Im fine, just saw a dead mutilated body and my pouch hurts from my body attempting to get rid of its own guts”

I tried bringing some humor into the conversation but I felt like that failed.

From the look Rikaad gave me that definitely failed, I probably wouldn’t attempt humor again anytime soon.

At least that made two of us who had a skewed sense of humor.

“Maybe we can find something you can use as a painkiller back at the castle? Or we should probably ask Oakley, he knows more about Ardua than we do so he might be able to help”

I nodded at him, something to make the horribly itchy ache go away would be great, and Oakley, well he was the one that read about Ardua so he’d probably know what to use to make the itching stop.

I’d ask him later as for now it wasn’t that bad, just annoying.

Also maybe I should offer help in transporting Nea back to the castle, while she wasn’t okay with being carried she might not mind if I offered to let her sit on my shoulders.

Or maybe she would also hit me with her helmet if I suggested that, fifty fifty chance, but I’d still rather not be hit with a solid metal object.

I wouldn’t know until I asked though, so I went over to the angry woman that currently tried to use a really long stone brick as a crutch.

Even I could tell that that wouldn’t work, but she looked really determined.

“Nea? I don’t think you can walk on that foot, maybe i could help?”

“I don’t need help, i need an usable crutch, i'm not going ta be carried like some stupid helpless maiden!”

Well technically it wasn’t carrying, more like a piggyback ride but i would not say that out loud.

“That is not what i meant, i don’t have thumbs right now anyway, I wanted to offer that you could just sit on my back?”

She looked a bit confused at that but then seemed to remember that Robin had already done that, Arthur too.

“Fine! If ya wanna play horse i’m all for it, maybe those idiots will stop fussin when i don’t walk myself”

She grumbled and using the stone as an anchor slowly stood up.

I could see some of the guards slump over a bit, clearly in relief and I went over to Nea who had managed to climb a broken wall with one leg.

I bent down so she had an easier time climbing on and she just jumped using her good leg up onto my back.

While I stood back up she made herself comfortable by sitting like a man on horseback.

Right, she said she used to be a farmhand so surely she had sat on a horse before, she even grabbed some of my scruff like it was reigns.

I started to feel like this was a bad idea, I didn’t know her very well and she was in the prime position to stab my spine at the base of my neck.

But somehow I doubted she would do that, tugging at my fur however…

“Let us all go then! I can’t wait tha get home and toss tha stupid snow gear in tha closet!”

She softly yanked at one of the handfuls of fur she held like she wanted to steer a horse.

This was gonna be really stupid, at least for me.

But on the bright side the tugging actually distracted me from my aching pouch so I let her.

If she did yank too hard I would just tell her.

The thing that worried me was that her injured foot still felt cold even against my thick fur, and with the way it looked I really hoped she wouldn’t have to amputate it.

I didn’t want to paint the devil on the wall with such thoughts but it was a valid concern, none of these people knew what to do when dealing with magic as today had shown.

The only one with any knowledge on such things was Oakley and I hoped he’d be willing to help.

Since all of the Guards were now ready to move we could finally go.

Now that all the snow was gone I had thought we would have an easier time traversing the ground but as it turned out everything was mud now.

It clung to my legs and I accidentally dipped my tail into a puddle, making a lot of wet dirt cling to the fluff at the tip.

Somehow this was even worse than the snow but at least I wasn’t the only one that would have to scrub all of this muck off.

Rounding the corner of another broken wall I had to stop dead in my tracks as a human shape with red hair barreled into my leg.

“You fixed it! It’s not cold anymore! What even was it?”

Now i was more glad than ever that i had told him to hide, I didn’t think he would have had an easy time handling that.

Now I had to come up with what to tell him what even happened while leaving out the gorier details.

I myself had not really a clue what was going on most of the time so-

My thoughts were interrupted by Nea, loudly proclaiming.

“There was some ugly guy with a magic staff but we kicked him and took his staff, so no more ice magic fer that idiot “

Well, that was one way to explain it, and it seemed Robin only noticed someone else was on my back as she spoke and looked a bit surprised.

And now Arthur finally showed up from behind a fallen boulder, panting a bit, looking at me then at Robin before doing a double take back at me.

“Why’s Nea on your back? Nevermind, i’m just glad the snow is gone”

“We all are, though now everything is full of mud and that’s going to be a nightmare to get out of fur”

I got a laugh out of Arthur for that comment.

“Yeah it think you have it the worst, but at least it fits the green colors”

I had to smile at this, yes the mud was stupid but that would go away, My friends wouldn’t go away though.

Maybe I should offer to take them back also?

Not like they could put much more of all this muck on me.

And looking around, i could see that all of the people involved would need a bath, though i couldn’t see Oakley, he was probably flying ahead or something.

Lucky fucker avoiding all of the dirt like that.

Rikaad who was on the front of the convoy with Norrin again somehow managed to only have some mud on his shoes and pants.

Norrin however looked like he’d been thrown into a puddle of it, and he also was back to looking uncomfortably uptight.

Nervousness in front of a higher ranking indeed made him act a bit weird, poor guy.

I looked back to Robin and Arthur, Both of whom looked like they had tried to stay out of the muddy puddles by climbing the ruins around us.

“You guys want a ride also? Not like i can get that much more muddy anyway”

Robin enthusiastically nodded while Arthur shook his head.

Well that were two completely different reactions, Then I remembered that Arthur said he had motion sickness.

Made sense for him to avoid anything that would cause it, and it wasn’t like I could go much faster than the rest of the group anyway.

I’d still give Robin the ride though, he seemed to love not being so small for a bit.

So I bent down again, being mindful of Nea, and let him climb up once again.

He adjusted himself about three feet behind Nea and clung to my fur, Carefully holding on.

I was glad he wasn’t tugging at it like Nea did, but since Nea was injured I figured to let her have that, it didn’t really hurt after all and she wasn’t ripping it out so it was fine if a tiny bit annoying.

But not nearly as annoying as my itching pouch, I really should ask Oakley if he had anything to make it stop.

Well Oakley was who knew where right now, and I had the suspicion that he went and hid the staff like he said he would.

He’d come back soon enough. 

He did want to live in the tower with the Oaktree next to it after all, and then I could just go over to him and see if he had anything that could make the itching stop.

I hoped he had something to make the itching stop, this was annoying as fuck.

Well, first we had to make the trek back to the castle, and now it was the middle of the day, Fuck.

That made it a hundred times more likely for the townsfolk to see me.

If this ended with pitchforks in front of the castle I would have a real problem.

Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that, …right?

Well the only thing i could do was hope for the best.

The trek back down the hill was a logistical nightmare as everything had turned into one giant mudslide and nobody managed to get down without slipping.

At some point i decided fuck it, and laid on my front just sliding all the way down even if that made my entire underside completely soggy from the mud.

That would be hell to get off, not to mention that if it dried it would get uncomfortable and stick to me even more.

At least Robin thought sliding down was fun judging by his laughter.

I was also pretty sure that I heard Nea giggle a little too but I wasn’t sure.

I would never mention that to her though.

Looking back at everyone else I could see that Rikaad was the only one that somehow did not fall into the mud.

He must have a good sense of balance.

Looking at myself I could see that my entire underside and legs were dripping with mud.

Yeah, I definitely needed a bath later, maybe dip myself in the ocean before shifting to avoid dragging mud everywhere.

That would make the castle staff hate me for sure.

It took another five minutes for everyone to get down, most of which just slid down like me either on purpose or as an accident.

This did not look like the royal guard at the moment, more like a bunch of kids that had gotten outside after rain.

I would have liked to shake the mud off of me like a dog but with the two on my back that wasn’t a good idea, I’d fling them off.

Suddenly Nea yanked on my fur again, this time with both hands like she wanted to stop a horse.

I looked in her direction as well as I was able to, and the guards around us also noticed that I had stopped dead in my tracks.

“Wait a second, we can’t just waltz right through town with tha big guy here! Now that everyones awake there would be a panic!”

She was right, and now that she pointed it out I realized I should have said something about this sooner.

But being around so many people made me nervous, especially since they all had weapons.

Norrin looked between me and the way to Tunstead, before going over to Rikaad and quietly speaking with him.

It wasn’t long after that that both came over to us.

Robin waved down from my back at both of them earning little waves back in return.

Then Rikaad and Norrin turned to me, with Rikaad not talking long around the matter at hand.

“Nea is right in that aspect, having you walk through Tunsted in the middle of the day is going to cause chaos, maybe you should walk the longer route around? If not i’m sure someone else can help Nea get around so you can shift down”

I could practically feel Nea glaring at the prospect of being carried like an helpless damsel, but she couldn’t refuse the king after all.

Though-

“Wait, shift down? Ya tellin me this muddy furball can shapeshift???”

Well that was not how i wanted people to know, and I for sure would take the longer route now to avoid getting stared at by all the other guards.

Not to mention that I would be covered in mud even more if I shifted.

I really didn’t like mud anymore after so much of it.

“I think i’ll just go around, gives whoever medic you want to call for her foot plenty of time to prepare, and i don’t want to be stared at if i’m honest”

Both Rikaad and Norrin nodded before Norrin spoke.

“I think the fastest way would be to head northwest a bit until you see the treeline and then follow it until you get closer to the ocean, by then you should see the castle anyway, good luck”

He had pointed in the direction we needed to go while he talked, not that that was necessary as I could see the trees in the far off distance quite well, then again I had the height advantage here.

I nodded at them and Norrin went back to organize the rest of the division who in the meantime had tried to scrape some of the mud off using whatever they could find to do so.

Rikaad lingered a few more seconds with us though.

“Stay safe, since you are between the forest and the city there still might be either People or Monsters so keep an eye out”

After that he went back to the group next to Arthur who tried to wring out mud from his shirt unsuccessfully.

Since they would now go back through Tunstead I decided to ask if Robin wanted to go with them, since I would take the longer route around with Nea he might want to stick to the other two.

“Hey Robin? You wanna go with the other two?

The long way around might be a bit boring”

I could feel him lean to the side a bit and I turned my head accordingly so he could see at least one of my eyes.

“I think i’ll stick with you, i don’t really know what to do in the group anyway and they make me kinda nervous”

I nodded and turned to walk towards the trees.

Robin was right, the guards did have a tendency to make me nervous as well so I could perfectly understand what he meant.

“Then let’s go, who knows how much longer this will take”

I settled into a steady walking pace, but that pace was still at least twice as fast as that of a jogging human.

The four legs really were practical in that sense, I could walk very fast and having people sitting on my back like this was almost no inconvenience.

I still was careful though, I absolutely did not want them to fall off.

That would not bode well for me, or my sanity, not to mention that Nea was already injured.

I did have to admit that she was one tough Woman though.

I probably wouldn’t be this calm if my foot had been hit by an ice blast, An event that she was currently telling Robin after he had asked what happened to her.

“-and that’s why my foot looks so ugly right now, but don’t worry, at tha castle they are gonna get tha boot off and fix it, I’ll be good as new in no time!”

Yeah that about summed it up, i just hoped she didn’t have to amputate it, that would suck.

“Yeah, as soon as we get there some doctor is going to help with that so we better get a move on”

I slightly sped up my gait, much to the amusement of the two sitting on my back, and it made mud drip everywhere.

I didn’t think I had that much of it in my fur but apparently I was mistaken.

Suddenly Nea leaned forwards a lot, and with a mischievous tone asked.

“Hey ya walkin mud puddle, how fast can ya get?”

There was amusement clearly evident in her voice and I decided to indulge both of them as Robin had started to chant for me to go faster at Neas suggestion.

“Alright, but if you feel like you can’t hold on anymore tell me and i’ll slow down”

I could feel both of them grip my fur even tighter and I slowly accelerated, gaining steadily on speed.

I went faster and faster as neither of them told me to stop and eventually the ground was just a blur underneath me while I leaped over the earth.

Ohh this was fun!

I didn’t even care about being covered in mud anymore.

I just went as fast as i could get all the while i heard Robin and Nea laughing.

“WOOHOO! Now that’s what I call fast! Well end up in tha castle before them if ya can keep that pace up big guy!”

Nea seemed thoroughly amused by the prospect of being there before the rest of the division.

To be fair it would be funny, so I kept the pace I was at, making the ground almost fly away underneath me.

Being this fast was weirdly fun, I hadn’t anticipated being able to go at such a pace but I wasn’t complaining.

The four legs clearly were an advantage for this.

The ground was far from even so it was a bit of a bumpy ride, but none of the humans on my back complained, instead they cheered when I had to take a particularly big leap to get over a ditch.

That made me wonder how far I could actually jump.

I decided to test it out by jumping over a small stream that came up ahead.

The Stream itself had swollen with melted snow and was an ugly brown color from all the mud, I’d guess it to be about eight feet across.

There wasn’t really any way around it, only a small dingy bridge that would never hold me so I had to jump regardless, and slowing down wouldn’t help me so I went even faster.

“Are you gonna Jump over that water?”

I heard Robin call from somewhere behind Nea.

“YES! So hold on and do not let go! This is going to be a rough ride!”

I could feel both of them lean forward as much as they could, which meant they were half lying half sitting on my back as I prepared to jump.

The water was now right in front of me and I jumped as soon as I felt it on the tip of my front paws, near flying over the mucky water.

I could hear Robin let out a squeal of joy and landed a few feet after the water on the other side.

I didn’t really know how far exactly that was but I would put it at about twelve feet.

Huh, that was impressive, I wondered how far exactly it was.

Suddenly I heard Nea call right into my ear.

“That’s tha fastest I have ever traveled!

we’re going to be at tha castle first fer sure!”

I just grinned and kept the pace I was at, occasionally jumping over various obstacles.

At some point not even five minutes later I could see the Castle in the Distance, yeah, we’d be first for sure.

Another good thing about being this fast aside from the obvious joy of my passengers was that the mud on me had mostly come off and only some dried bits were still stuck to me.

I’d still take a dip in the ocean to get it off though, that would make the bathwater itself less muddy.

I’d bet that the castle even had hot water, That was something I had always wanted to try.

On the streets it was either rainwater showers or a dip in whatever river I could find.

I’d shift down for that though, I didn’t think anyone would have a bathtub big enough for an Ardua.

Now that the Castle was within sight I changed course slightly to steer away from the treeline and towards the imposing building.

it was a good thing that i remembered where exactly the door was i had used when i first arrived here, even if it meant that the two on my back had to get down for a bit.

I was suddenly glad Robin had come with as he could help Nea getting down and then climb up again.

And he could also go ahead to inform a medic about Nea so they could prepare for whatever was wrong with her foot.

After that we could wait at the gate for everyone else, they’d be really confused as to why we were here before them.

Maybe Nea was lucky and got to see their reactions from out of a window.

I gradually went slower and came to a halt right before the closed door that led into the garden so as to not throw the two on my back off.

The door was still closed and I doubted anyone would open me without orders, sooo.

“Hey Nea, can you tell them to open the door?

I don’t think they’ll do it if i ask”

She leaned forward a bit and out of the corner of my eye I could see her nodding.

“Sure! I can do that!

OI YA FUCKERS OPEN THA DAMN GATE ALREADY!”

I took everything in me not to flinch at her sudden outburst, but at least I could hear the creaking of the door mechanism already.

“Nea! You are right behind my ears warn me please before you just holler so loudly”

“Sorry big guy, didn’t mean ta do that, also i don’t know how sensitive yer ears are but i won’t do it again”

I just huffed and bent down so Nea and Robin could climb off.

“Whatever, but you have to get off for a bit, i just barely fit through the frame and you would just fall of, you can get back up after i went through the gate though”

Robin immediately slid off and then stood awkwardly near where Nea would climb down as if to help.

Nea herself carefully swung her leg over and then slowly climbed down as well as she was able to with only one functional leg, and having to be caught by Robin after stumbling for a second.

“I’m fine, don’t make such a fuss! I can stand on my own”

She did not look fine, at least her foot didn’t but I chose to not say anything about it.

Robin also kept his mouth shut, instead just offering support by standing next to her so she could grab his shoulder if needed.

At this point the Door had completely opened and we could go through, I let Nea and Robin in first so I didn’t have to worry about accidentally hitting them with my tail.

The thing still was rather unusual to have and I didn’t exactly have full control over it so I’d rather not have it smack someone.

That would be really awkward.

Better not dwell on it, instead I focused on getting through the door myself, by ducking down again and shuffling forward while trying not to scrape my entire back on the top of it.

It only half worked and I hoped there wasn’t too much mud on it now.

On the other side of the gate I found a lot of guards, not the royal one but the ones stationed on the defense walls.

PREVIOUS / NEXT / OVERSIGHT

[disability-confessions]

mild cw for ableism,

i just recently bought my first wheelchair. i was so excited about it since i have a series of genetic conditions that just make moving around risky and painful, though im capable of walking a bit, i've been excited for this because i knew it's gonna make my life so much easier.

i'm broke as fuck, though, and don't have the means to get a custom fitted chair, so i bought a pretty good standard chair. I went out to the shops in it today and well. i feel a bit defeated. it was a struggle, my town is small, the pavements are narrow and tilted and up or down hills, a small trek to the store left me exhausted since this is my first time being Active in a chair. everyone in my family is going "see?? i told you so" at me over this, and now i just feel worse about using my chair, despite it being useful and making me so happy initially. i feel like ive made a mistake, and now everyone's punishing me, and maybe if id just held off, saved up and bought a better chair and just toughed it out and kept walkign with crutches things would be fine. it just makes me feel like a worse disabled person compared to most of the wheelchair user community who all have their custom built active chairs, you never see people in standard chairs, it makes me feel like i'm doing something wrong or like i'm disabled wrong.

i guess i just wanted to get this off my chest. sorry for yapping.

It’s fine to yap anon! I’m sorry you feel that way, I can assure you, you do not need a custom built active chair, there’s tons of wheelchair users who don’t have one and that is 100% okay. You are not doing anything wrong and there’s absolutely no way that you are being “disabled wrong”. I know many places are unfortunately not built for wheelchair users or disabled people in general. It’s unfortunate and sad but it’s due to disabilities not being as recognized and stuff until more recently. It sucks but there’s not too much we can do about it unfortunately. You might be able to petition your town to make the sidewalks a bit wider so they can be more wheelchair accessible but that’s all I can think of. Ignore your family, if you need something, you need something, you can always try saving money for a custom built active chair in the future, a non custom built wheelchair should be fine for now. Your family can leave you alone about it, you are doing the best you can for yourself right now and sometimes you just have to get something that may be considered ���less helpful’ than other things in others eyes. Non custom built wheelchairs are just as helpful as custom built ones, they serve a purpose and do it decently. I wouldn’t worry about what your family says.

-Mod K

[mothwiingz]

i hate walking so much. my fucking knee is so unstable and weak, every movement gives me anxiety cuz idk if its gonna start hurting really badly or not. i havent been able to see my PT since september bc of transportation issues (mom works full time, dad is blind, i can barely walk, we live in the woods, how am i meant to get anywhere). she was able to send the PE teacher at my new school a list of exercises for me to do, but i cant talk to her or anything. and the exercises make my knee hurt even more but i cant tell her bc theres no one available, that i can contact, who can help me. i hate walking anywhere cuz it goes backwards every single step and its painful and exhausting to try and compensate for it (using both crutches to support my bad leg still hurts and doesnt stop it from going the wrong direction, holding my leg in the air is tiring, tilting my leg so theres different muscles being used to move it puts a Huge amount of strain on those muscles after a full day, wrapping my bad leg around the non fucked up one and walking by swinging my entire body forward at once (idk if that description makes sense but whatever) is fine until me and my backpack together are over 200 lbs and then my arms get exhausted super quickly, theres really no good solution). i wish i never had to walk again, id be so so much more happy and comfortable. id enjoy just going on trips to places, for the first time in years. instead of being so exhausted i feel like a zombie dragging its decaying body around. but my dads right im not sick enough to need a wheelchair even if it Would make my life so much easier and more comfortable. thats out of the question since my dad would never let me. what im really hoping for is that the fucking orthopedics department gets back to us soon and can either tell me “here’s your knee brace, sorry we made you suffer and wait so long without any kind of medical help whatsoever” or “we’ve decided you don’t need this but we’re not going to help you with any other solution to one of your joints malfunctioning so badly that you’ve had to walk differently for the last month. fuck you, go suffer”. genuinely how long does it take to just look over my records and make the decision. it’s not a novel it’s just a couple pages. cuz you’d really think it would be a shorter time than ONE MONTH. ONE MONTH of me fearing even the tiniest amount of walking because i know my body wont work correctly and itll be nothing but pain. one month of waiting for doctors to get their shit together about this. and many many more with all the other issues i have combined! hey when do i get to have a higher dose on my adhd meds! theyre not working well enough and i still cant do the shit i want or need to do! you said id know within a week if they worked for me! so why do i have to wait THREE FUCKING MONTHS FOR ONE APPOINTMENT???

god someone please just get me out of here. i dont even care that much about my body being all fucked up. the scary part is how the only ppl who can help me are just sitting there doing nothing/way too busy to help while i cry out in pain

i know this is nothing compared to the issues other people face. but i need help. i really really need to see a doctor. and im sitting in limbo here, never sure when my next appointment is gonna be. no matter how badly i need it

[frogsspark]

I am oh so tired if walking and being in pain, walking for over 15 minutes and in pain. Its not fucking fair, I want to walk without pain, I want to live my life. It would be easier if my mom would just listen to me, help me, but it doesn't matter to her, its how she wants me to be. I asked her if I could get forearm crutches and she instantly claims it won't help me, that how can I go around in those and how would it help me, its so suffocating in my room and I cannot breathe, I think its too hot and I have to wear long sleeves and long pants. I can't breathe I can't sleep

I can't live

School is starting soon and all she cares is that I don't look weird, it was this same problem when I got glasses, where in every picture I had to take them off.

But I've had enough, Ill order my own with my own money on my own account, ill get my dad to get them for me if I need to, even if she claims im going behind her back. I love my mom but she never understood. I love my mom but she isn't helping. I love my mom but she's hurting me.

If some people that have joint pain and use forearm crutches could tell me how they've helped? In notes or reblogs would be greatly appreciated

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

first get a cane that suits your height, which will be about hip height. if you plan on using it mostly with shoes on then make sure the height suits how tall you are with shoes you typically wear. im usually in shoes that are 0.5" tall so my cane is just a bit too tall for my regular height. make sure the cane has a rubber stopper and a comfortable rubber grip (there's ones with bumps on them for your fingers to hold onto). while you can get a fancy cane with a brass handle for special occasions these aren't practical for daily usage.

use the cane on the opposite side of the worst leg so that youre able to take weight off of it. if your legs are equally bad then consider getting forearm crutches bc a cane may not be right for you! ofc dont purposefully beat up your cane but dont be afraid to put a good amount of weight on it! they're meant to handle that.

most of the movement of your cane should come from your shoulder and a bit from your wrist/elbow, honestly its kinda like how you swing your arm from the shoulder when you walk without a cane. it can be really tempting to use your wrist to generate this movement but please dont do that!! it will fuck you up!!!

walk very confidently and as upright as possible, not just bc it can help with the fear of using a cane for the first time, but also bc it'll help with standing up straight. if you're using a cane you're most likely used to walking crooked (plus you have a limp), and keeping your chin and shoulders up can help with learning how to walk straight. this is easier said than done so just do the best you can. the goal of a cane is to reduce pain or other symptoms by evening out your walk.

there's a lot of walking patterns you can try out and the best one really depends on what you find the most comfortable, but i recommend starting off with matching the cane to the gait of your bad leg. also your cane is gonna be loud you will hear it thump thump and clack clack this is ok it is supposed to do that. stretch out your cane wrist daily and also your other wrist too for good measure and replace the rubber stopper when the grooves wear out.

Hey um, how do you walk with a cane?

[peppermintsparker]

.

[rex101111]

do you know what what happens when your older sibling dies? 

you loved them but you hated them but you sought their approval because that somehow mattered more than your parents and it sucks and you want to scream at them because how dare they leave you alone that's not fucking fair because you loved them and there was distance because to them you were a kid and to you they were...something. 

they were your sibling and that fucking MEANT something and now it doesn't and it does and you. 

you just want them back.

 just that. nothing more. you just want that is that too much to ask? just to wake up and talk to them again? because talking to them was always easier? because they actually listened even if they made fun of you they listened and that mattered and now there's a hole in your heart that no one and nothing will ever ever EVER fill because they were your sibling and no bond will replace that. 

never never never.

And now here you are with your brother in a box and your parents holding you so tightly you might just snap in half and you’re shaking and sobbing and your brother is in a fucking box and the world will now and forever make just a little bit less sense because he was strong and loud and stubborn and there there always there and now he’s fucking GONE.

There’s a stone where your brother was, it has a kind engraving and the date the world ended for a week before you needed to wash your face and help your parents pack up his stuff and clean his room and decide what to do with his shitty car and his loud bike that he couldn’t even ride near the end because he could barely fucking walk near the end and its not fair its not fair you want to scream and scream and cry in a corner because doing that always made him come running.

because this is all just. one big joke. a cruel wretched prank and he’ll jump at you from a corner and hug you so tightly you won’t be able to breath and it’ll all be over like the nightmare it feels like.

but then a week become a month become a year become a fucking decade and in a few months you’ll be the same age as your big brother because the universe is a cruel sack of crap and like to laugh at you try to make sense of the fact that your big brother that was born ten years before you did was 29 and you’re 28 and a half and isn’t that just. hysterical? 

im half the boy i used to be and half the man im trying to be and ill never ever ever ever measure up. doesn’t matter that he wasn’t perfect and that he pissed me off because he was plucked away from me before i was ever old enough to actually talk to him like an adult instead of a little kid asking for his turn to play that new game he bought. because that’s what i was and what ill always be to him, his stupid little brother that never gave him a damn break or left him alone or understood what pain he was going through until they sliced me open and I couldn’t lay down for 5 weeks.

and i could go on and on and on and on forever until the sun blinks out because every year im forgetting more how he talked and how he sang and how he shouted and one day im going to forget his stupid fucking smile, that crooked, infuriating, perfect smile. and when that happens he’ll die again and i don’t ever think ill be strong enough to take it,

siblings aren’t peers but they are so evidently Going Through It With You, they are a preview of what you’ll deal with in one way or another, and when you Go Through It they’ll cheer you on and tease and give you tips. they’re a crutch, a training wheel, a partner. and he’s gone. and im alone. i have friends and family and people who care about YES and i will never take that for granted ever ever EVER...but im alone. in a way that won’t ever be fixed im alone and that’s the truth.

yeah. that’s what happens. that’s what keeps happening, every year until im in another box like he is. ill never be okay with that because why the hell would I? who would be okay with a bleeding heart? 

but ill be okay with not being okay. just, not today

[queerautism]

I wish most mobility aids didn't rely so much on your shoulders. My hip has been subluxating more and more recently and it's incredibly painful - even when it only essentially threatens to do so - and is making walking a scary experience (my partner has had to catch and help me to the floor before). I keep having to lean on things. Walls, furniture, my partner. I want forearm crutches so badly, but my shoulders are even worse than my hips. They pop slightly out even just from moving my arm and one of them is severely hypermobile. They're so bad that my shoulder blades might have partially detached because they stick out a lot and sometimes at horrible angles.

I've heard that some forearm crutches are a lot easier on your arms than others, but I don't know if my arms are too far gone and I haven't been contacted by the physical therapist I'm waiting on yet who should be able to help me figure that out.

I'd prefer to avoid using a wheelchair again both because poorly designed wheelchair "accessibility" nearly/could've killed me once (and that was a place that was wheelchair accessible at all - I could NOT lift a chair into places that aren't) and I'm still concerned about the strain it could put on my arms. I know my partner would be okay with pushing me, but I don't want to lose my ability to move myself at all! Not to mention that they're expensive and if I want insurance to pay I, once again, need a physical therapist to do that for me.

Im sorry, that sounds like such a difficult situation. If you haven't already, I recommend trying a rollator? It is way better for my shoulders than crutches, when I can walk a bit. Otherwise, it's expensive which sucks but powerchairs are the fucking best tbh

[13uswntimagines]

Together (USWNT x Reader)

Request: team x reader where r gets hurt (needs crutches) during practice and the team is of course really worried for her and r stops eating and is upset and takes it out on the team the rest of camp (because she doesn’t think she can make it back in time for Tokyo) but it gets resolved after reader is crying and team is there to comfort her? (maybe some christen x reader) could you also do at the end where the reader either gets named to the roster/ the first game since injury?

You stared unseeingly at the hotel room ceiling, the doctor's words rolling endlessly through your mind. It was an accident, you knew that and you still loved Ali, but the situation fucking sucked. It wicked that her tackle had been late. It sucked that your ankle had gone in the opposite direction of your body. It really sucked that you had needed surgery to fix the compound fracture that had resulted in the collision. And it Really Really fucking sucked that you would “be lucky to walk without a limp for the rest of your life, much less run around on a field,”. 

You were only 22, and the doctor had basically but a death sentence on your career. The only reason you hadn’t been sent home was that your team moms Kelley and Alex hadn’t made the argument that there was no one there to take care of you. It would have been easier if they had let you leave. Then at least you would have more time to figure out how to tell them that you were never going to play soccer again. 

A knock sounded from the hotel room door, and you glanced at it for a few seconds, before retiring your attention to counting the texture in the ceiling, contemplating what the fuck you were supposed to do with the rest of your life. 

The knocking stopped for a second, before starting up louder. Maybe if you didn’t respond, they would think you were asleep and leave you alone. You didn’t want visitors right now anyway. No one else deserved to have the rest of their camp ruined with your sour mood. You needed to make them hate you so it wouldn’t hurt as much when you left. When they stopped talking to you because you weren’t useful anymore. When you lost the only family you had ever had. 

But the telltale click of the door lock told you that the women would not be so easily deterred. You didn’t bother to look at the women as they slid into bed beside you, Kelley on your left and Alex on your right. 

“What ya looking at kiddo?” Kelley asked, nudging your shoulder softly. 

“Just thinking,” You shrugged, your eyes never leaving the ceiling, even as Alex drew circles on your cheeks with her fingers, sharing worried looks with Kelley. Their little ray of sun was even more cloudy than it had been when they left earlier. One of them should have stayed with you. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Alex asked, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, trying to coax you to finally look at her. 

You bite your lip, your eyebrows furrowing as you try to get the words past the lump in your throat. 

“I can’t play,” 

You could practically feel Alex’s eye roll at the statement. And you frowned. She didn’t understand that this wasn’t just a temporary thing. 

“Don’t worry about that right now sweetie. Just worry about getting better,” She murmured, using a careful finger to tilt your head so you were making eye contact with her. You stared into her concerned blue eyes, praying that she couldn’t see just how much pain you were in. She didn’t need that burden. 

“Yeah ducky, just work on getting better and you’ll be tearing up the field with us again in no time,” Kelley added, propping her head on your shoulder. You rolled your eyes, nodding slightly. 

Normally they would have attacked you with tickles to get you to smile, but this time they didn’t. They simply sat up and offered you their hands. Even they had given up on you already, what was going to happen when they found out that you were useless to them now. 

“Now, dinners ready and you already skipped lunch today,” Alex said softly as you stared at their hands in discontent. 

“Wasn’t hungry,” You grumbled. The truth was that you didn’t want to confront your new reality. You wanted to stay in your little bubble and pretend that everything was going to work out fine. 

“Sure you weren’t,” Kelley laughed, growing tired of your resistance to them, and grabbing your shoulder to force you into a sitting position. 

“What we mean is that you’re not getting out of it,” Alex shot Kelley a disapproving look, but helped Kelley hoist you up. Her forehead wrinkled when you didn’t laugh at their antics, and instead just crossed your arms. 

“I hate you guys,” You huffed, pouting. 

“No you don’t, now, up you get,” Kelley laughed, kissing your cheek. 

“I can do it myself,” You hissed once you were sitting upright. You grabbed your crutches and forced yourself to your feet. The crutches rubbed uncomfortably against your ribs, but you ignored it. You didn’t need any more help. You didn’t need to give them any more reason to leave you. 

“Stubborn as always,” Kelley sighed, opening the door for you, and you held in your groan. They probably wouldn’t even miss you. 

The ride to the dining room was spent in uncomfortable silence. Neither woman quite sure how to broach the subject of your foul mood. 

“Hey gimpy, need help with your plate,” Ashlyn smiled, clapping you on the shoulder and nearly knocking you over. Kelley glared at her, reaching out a hand to steady you. 

“I got it,” You grumbled, shrugging off their steadying hands and beginning to maneuver yourself towards the food table. You didn’t want to eat (what was the point) but if you didn’t, they would make an even bigger deal than they already were. 

They watched you struggle for a moment, trying to balance a plate and hobble along the food table. Ali sighed, standing and making her way over to you.

“I’ll help you, this is my fault after all,” she said softly, grabbing the plate before you dumped its contents onto the floor by accident. 

“I said I got it,” You huffed, looking away from the woman, frowning as Christen joined you. God, you weren’t a child. You could get a plate of food by yourself. Ignoring the good intentions of your crush, you ground your teeth toge

“Is this all you’re going to eat? You need to keep your strength up kid,” Kelley scoffed at your choice of three dinosaur nuggets. 

“Like it matters now? I can’t play so what’s the point,” You grumbled, ripping the plate out of Ali’s hand and struggling to the closest seat. Christen sat down heavily beside you, followed by Ali, Ash, Kelley and Alex. 

“I’m sorry Y/n,” Ali whispered. It killed her to see you so distraught. To know that she was the reason you were so upset. 

You glanced up from your nuggets, making eye contact with the woman. You took note of the pained crinkles by her eyes. She didn’t have a right to be in pain. You were the one who just had their future destroyed. 

“I know,” You shrugged halfheartedly, playing with your nuggets rather than eating them. 

“You sound super convincing,” Ashlyn rolled her eyes. 

“Well, what would you like me to say?” You snipped back, quirking your eyebrow up at her. 

“We’re not your enemy babe,” Christen soothed, rubbing you back. 

“I know I’m just-.” You huffed, shaking your head frustratedly. What were you? You were angry, sad, a complete and total washout now. What was the point? You paused, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. To do what needed to be done. It would hurt less in the end. “I’m tired and not hungry and I just wanna go to bed,” You finished, staring down at your untouched nuggets. Your hands fidgeted in your lap for a second before you reached for your crutches. 

Your fingertips brushed the dreaded walking device at the wrong angle, sending it crashing to the ground. Just like your dreams. You shoved your plate away, leaning as far as you could in your chair to retrieve the crutch, only for the other one to join it on the floor. You glared at the items, oblivious to the worried mother hens watching you fall apart over being unable to get them on your own. 

It was Christen who took potty on you, lifting the crutches off the floor and presenting them to you. “Let me help you,” she smiled sadly, and you grit your teeth. Your cheeks flamed red as you grabbed the items. 

“Aw kid, don’t feel bad, we all need a little help sometimes,” Ashlyn smiled kindly. The rage and embarrassment boiled inside you. They didn’t fucking get it. 

“Im not a fucking invalid. I don’t need your fucking help. I don’t need these or anything else,” You growled, throwing your crutch across the room and into the food fable with a crash, the other on suffering the same fate as you forced yourself to stand. Pain shot down your leg, but you ignored it, determined to prove to them all that you could do it yourself. 

The room sat in stunned silence. They knew you were upset, but you had never ever lashed out like this before. 

Christen was the first person to jump into action. She held her hands out as she approached you, as if you were a wounded puppy she needed to show she meant no harm. 

“Babe, don’t, you’ll just make it worse and if you ever wanna come back..-“ she tried softly, wrapping her arm under your armpit in an attempt to prevent you from putting weight on your injured foot. You shrugged her off, taking a bold (and excruciatingly painful step forward). What was the point. You would never see the pitch again anyway. 

“You just don’t fucking get it so you? I’ll never ever get to come back. That sloppy tackle made it so I’ll be lucky to walk normally again, much less kick a fucking ball,” You spat, tears finally making their way down your face. 

You could feel the weight of the teams putting gaze. The heaviness that filled the room, like a wave of realization crashing over them. You kept your eyes on the floor, you hand clenching and unclenching around nothing, eating for them to disown you. For the next logical step to happen. 

“Y/n,” Ali started, tears evident in her voice, but your venomous scowl stopped her. “I’m fucking useless now, so just fucking drop it, alright?!” 

You attempted to take another step, using the chair as support, and forcing yourself forward. You nearly collapsed as your full weight landed on your very injured foot. You were stubborn, and you were determined to give them a reason for you to stay. You wobbled, nearly keeling over from the pain, gritting your teeth to stop the anguished cry from threatening to spill out. 

You pulled yourself back upright, about to take another step away from the chair supporting you, but soft calming hands on your shoulders stopped you. “Y/n Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself, more, and then we’ll have even bigger odds to beat,” Christen murmured into your ear, hugging you back into her chest and supporting your weight as she sat back into a chair and pulled you into her lap.  

“Yeah kid, fuck what the doctors say. You’re amazing and so stubborn that I dare them to try and keep you down,” Kelley added, coming to kneel in front of you, her hand in your knee. 

“Plus you’ve got all of us behind you, no matter what,” Alex said, coming up behind her. A sob ripped from your throat. That was your greatest fear. That they would leave you. Your family only tolerated you when they wanted something when you were successful, so you thought your soccer family would feel the same. 

“You promise?” You asked softly. 

“Absolutely kid,” Alex and Kelley said together firmly. You nodded and allowed the women to hold you as you cried. You would all get through this. Together. 

*****

You bounced lightly on your feet, cracking your neck as you waited for the match to start. There had been a tremendous amount of time and effort put into this moment. Hours upon hours of rehab, soccer training and therapy, but here you were in the starting 11 for the Olympic finals. 

“You ready baby?”  Christen hummed, her arms wrapping around you, kissing your cheek before resting her chin on your shoulder. 

You smiled, grabbing her hand. The woman had been instrumental in your recovery, and though it had taken you an embarrassingly, long time to ask her out, you had sacked up. You loved the woman so much that it scared you, and now she was your girlfriend (bum leg or not). “Always baby,” 

You had come a long way, and you had so much further to go. You would win like you always did. Together. 

[warmdolans]

Fire Escape - Grayson Dolan

Summary: Firefighter Dolan’s first rescue turns into something that blushes to be more.

Tags: Fluff

Word count: 2.8K

A/n: Hey!! this is something i quickly(?) made after obsessing over the series 911 hehe let me know if u like it or if youve got some constructive criticism because i’d definitely love to improve my writing :) It would be lovely if you dropped by some asks or something but im not expecting much because im new to this whole writing scene,, enjoy!

Each puff of air she takes in burns the back of her throat like a strong shot of alcohol, it constricts her chest with needles and blocks out the feeling of heat radiating from the fire that licks at her skin feverishly. She barely manages to drag her limp body on one foot through the red filter of the room that stings her eyes and blurs it with tears. She hears the faint rumbles on the other side of the door and tries to scream out another help but fails miserably with a hand to her throat in hopes of stopping the dryness, it felt like the inside of her throat had been scraped against concrete. The door knob twists and the wooden door shakes, she’s got hope. She reaches her hand out but her vision blurs. The thin door slams open right as she feels her knees give out.

“I’ve got you!” the man yells as he grips her forearms, his grip softening when she hisses and he sees the uncontrollable hot tears running down her cheeks. She rests her head on his warm black uniform once the surroundings start to blur and the intoxicating smell of chemicals take over her senses, feeling as if the back of her brain was being compressed as it pulses. “Stay with me-“ he waits for her name.

“Y/n,” she barely manages a whisper.

“Stay with me Y/n!” he shouts over the crips sound of the dancing flames.

“C-can’t,” she mumbles.

“Yes you can, you’re strong! You can, come on Y/n!” he encourages as he carries her body through the burning building. The lasts of his words fuse with the white noise of the walkie talkie on his chest that she stares at. Everything blurs. The dark ring around her vision closes in and she feels herself losing a grip on reality with every second that passes by. “NO! Y/N!” was the last thing she hears and the grumble in his chest becomes the last thing she feels before it all turns dark.

She feels her body laid flat on the synthetic material, Y/n only manages to squint her brows together when the sting against the backside of her skin rushes through her in an instant. She silently thanks god when she manages to lift her heavy eye lids. A tall burly man stands with a burning building behind him in her view, his helmet and jacket long gone, a concerned look on his strong features as he joins the paramedics leading her to the ambulance. Dolan his badge reads.

He leans in closer when he sees her visibly struggle to part her dry lips. “I’m going to be fine, right?” she rasps. He nods vigorously with wide glistening eyes that makes her wonder if he himself even trusts his own answer, but a part of her feels reassured. Y/n keeps her eyes on him when he’s stopped in his tracks with a hand to his shoulder by another firefighter. His head turns to the man talking to him but his eyes stay trained on hers. By every second he’s getting further and further away from her and she starts to worry over who would be there for her if not the man who had just saved her. She tries to lift her head to get a better view once he shrinks smaller in her field of vision but the women pushing her stretcher to her right assures her things will be fine and ushers her to lie flat back down, she does. She’s drifting off again, lungs still stinging, she promises to herself she won’t forget his name, Dolan.

It was bright even with Y/n’s eyes closed, the sound of machines beeping and murmurs somewhere distant forces her curious side to peel her eyes open. She looks around the room as much as the nose tube limiting her head movement could allow. The nurse walking past stops in her tracks with a surprised look to her face, she pulls the curtains back before rushing to Y/n. Asking for her name and age and all the things that make her head spin. She feels as if her mind is wobbling in her skull when she passively answers their questions, letting them do whatever they want with her.

It feels as if she’s stared at the rings the curtains hang on for almost five hours before a face she actually recognises shows up.

“Y/n!” her mother whispers a shout with tears in her eyes as she makes way to Y/n. She hasn’t seen them in a while and it feels odd, she’s even more surprised to see half of her always busy father standing on the other side of the curtain listening to what the doctors and nurses were explaining to him. Her mother is touching her all over her bandages and it stings but she’s too drowsy to tell her. “Your dad and I are so worried about you,” she cried and Y/n felt pity over her mother. The girl laying in a hospital bed with bandages wrapped around some of her limbs and a tube coming out her nose felt pity seeing her mother finally cry over her. “We’ll go back to Florida, okay baby? We’ll take care of you-“

Y/n’s mind thinks of Florida. How warm and humid it always is, much like California but she won’t have her freedom there. “I’m staying here,” she states. Bracing herself for the argument she knows is coming.

“Y/n? Look at yourself, honey. You’re bedridden and you’ll need someone to be there for your medication-“

“I have a job and students to teach here, mom,” Y/n fights back a losing battle.

“You won’t even be able to drive to their places, not with that leg.”

“I’ll be fine!-“

“You said that when you left your dad and I and now look who barely managed out a burned building!” Her mother huffs out the quick words. She sees the patient and his family from the bed diagonal to hers stare at her mom like her father and nurses are and she’s embarrassed so she looks away to her right. The uncomfortable feeling vaporises off her skin when her cheeks tinted at the side table, forgetting all the eyes on her.

“Then, just give me a week here before we go,” she bargains after reading the note that stuck out the bouquet of light blue and lilac flowers.

“Fine,” her mother agrees. For a second Y/n forgets she’s in a bed with a needle in her wrist and plastic through her nose, that her parents are acting like everything is fine after cutting ties with her for two months, she forgets she’s got burns on her body and she won’t be able to carry her own weight when she reads the note written in chicken scratch, Get well soon :) - Dolan, Station 127

A day before she leaves Los Angeles, Y/n and her mother sit uncomfortably in her car. Her mother’s eyes are trained on the road and in her mind she’s checking off the list of things she’s packed from her apartment to calm her nerves. The label ‘Fire Department’ falls into view and the words underneath get easier to read as they move closer, Station 127, it reads.

When she moves out the car, Y/n makes sure not to put pressure on her right foot that’s wrapped in bandages her mother has neatly done for her. She rejects her mother’s offer to help her out and struggles to pull the crutches out the back seat. Y/n chuckles at the reflection of herself in the passenger seat’s tinted window. Finding it ridiculous how she wears a long black floral dress with her hair and makeup all done but she limps around with only one converse on and arms occupied with thin, long crutches. But the view of herself in the window fades when her mother leans towards her with a thumbs up and a big encouraging smile, much like how she used to look at Y/n during her swimming lessons.

She sighs and turns away, trying hard not to roll her eyes. Y/n prepares herself for the embarrassment of asking around for a Dolan, that is if anyone even comes to assist her. She nods the stuffed doll in her hands, imagining it cheering her on before she chuckles at how stupid she’s acting. Y/n slowly hobbles on the crutches, making her way to the open station that has light passing through it in every which way, giving full view of her state for all curious firefighters to see. She sees a man by the front bumper of the firetruck wiping it shiny and she thinks he looks approachable with his blue eyes and styled brown hair, shimmying his body to the song playing in his head.

“Excuse me,” she repeats after he doesn’t hear the first time through his humming.

“Yeah?” he turns to look at her and tosses the cloth down by the bucket. Y/n feels so out of place with all the buff men and women she sees walking around the top floor when she’s standing there in a dress looking for the man who saved her.

“Is there... Dolan- here?” she asks so hesitantly, already thinking of what to say if he wasn’t here.

“Y/n?” someone says from her side, she whips her head and there he stands. In his uniform that hugs his arms and chest so nicely with his brunette locks pushed back and a bit of facial hair grown. He can’t be that much older than her right? He shuts his jaw and shakes his head at how inconsiderate he was being when she tries to move forward with difficulty, he takes big strides so as to near her.

“Hi,” he grins, finally in front of the pretty lady with long wavy black hair he couldn’t stop thinking about.

“Hey,” she replies with a tight-lipped smile.

It gets a bit awkward when he doesn’t say anything and instead looks her up and down, noting the bandage that ran up her right foot to parts under her dress he couldn’t see and the one wrapped on her left shoulder that peeks out the collar of her dress. Although she feels bold about it, she gnaws on her bottom lip when his eyes follow the doll that she lifts in between them.

“For saving me,” she reasons with a faint smile and pink cheeks. He’s beaming with bright eyes, excitedly reaching for the Squirtle doll.

“I- I’m glad you’re okay,” he guides her to the benches by the locker room, a hand on her lower back that feels too good for her to flinch away from even if it feels like her skin is bitten on. They settle down after he moves her crutches beside him for her. He speaks up again, “H-how are you?”

“Good. Just a couple second degree burns and an irritated pair of lungs. Nothing too bad that some medicine can’t help, thankfully,” she says it so nonchalantly and it amazes him.

“That’s.. that’s really good to know,” he smiles at himself as he takes in how she looks staring at her foot. While she’s busy with following the path the bandages take, he looks for more things to say, “I’m sorry about your apartment.”

She jumps a bit in her seat with her brows raised at the assumption, “Oh- it’s not mine! I was just watching over for a friend..” she explains. The way she’s looking at him with a wide smile and rosy cheeks is making his palms sweaty.

“Good... to hear?” he says with a confused face, wondering if it were appropriate to say her friend’s loss was something he was glad about, but she laughs and he thinks he’s safe. How awkward and jittery he was being slightly calmed Y/n down, knowing this is just as nerve-wracking for her as it was for him. She wonders if laughing was appropriate and her thoughts scold herself.

“You always send flowers to the people you save, Dolan?” she asks. A teasing look on her face that has him shifting in his seat because he thought she looked adorably mesmerising.

“No! You-you’re my first actually,” he replied before fixing his own sentence, “the first person I saved.” He tells her while playing with the soft doll that was just as big as his large hand, trying to suppress his shyness. It surprised her. He was such a hefty guy she would have thought he had years of experience. It’s giving her butterflies that this big and tough guy sitting on a bench beside her was so nervous, tripping over his own words and toying with a small Squirtle doll she gave him.

“I’m honoured,” she chuckles. “Thanks for being my hero,” she cringes at herself but it seems to have made his smile stretch wider and eyebrows raise higher, so even if she had a chance to she would’t take it back.

“Yeah?” he asks just so he gets to hear her say it again.

She opens her mouth to speak and ask more about him but the alarms in the station go off and people rush into the locker room. Grayson’s eyes widen, he holds her forearms and gently pulls her to stand before passing the crutches to her. She’s turned red when he remembers to pick up the Squirtle. “Hang on,” he says to her. She watches him cluelessly, watches him open his locker and shift his arms into the jacket he saved her in. His surname sewed in bright yellow on the back of it.

“Dolan,” she whispers just to feel the way her tongue curls saying it.

She laughs at watching him balance the doll in his locker before closing it’s door shut. He’s geared up and jogging to her as the rest of the firemen pack into the firetruck. “Y/n,” he rushes his words. “Will you go on a date with me?” Maybe he was rushing things, but he’s waited a two weeks to see her again since he saved her. And their sweet awkward moment was ruined by the alarm so he’s not taking risks in missing his chance with her if he’ll ever even get another one, he’s justified to himself that asking her out right now as the scene around them rushes is the right thing to do. Yes he wears his heart on his sleeves and it’s gotten him in places he hopes not to experience again, but he’s sure everything is falling into place when it starts to feel like it’s just the two of them smiling at each other with crimson coloured cheeks even as people rush around them.

“Of course,” she beams and he feels giddy under the heavy uniform.

“Let’s go, Grayson!” The blue-eyed guy she approached before calls for him. Grayson. That’s his name. She’s said yes to a date before even knowing his name. God she’s gone crazy.

“Save some lives, Grayson,” she smiled. He stops his jog to the truck midway, turning to look at her standing and looking so small and fragile. He takes in the way his name sounds when she says it. He likes it.

Grayson looks to her a final time from inside the truck with a promise of, “I will, Y/n,” and a wink before he speeds into the firetruck and the door slides shut.

Y/n rests her weight on her good foot as she watches the truck race off with a cheesy smile on her face. She twitches in her stand when she realises that she’s going on a date with a handsome fireman she hasn’t even spent an hour talking to. How could she possibly find something to wear when her apartment’s all packed up and she’s leaving Los Angeles tomorrow? Is there even time left for a date? The thoughts bum her and she winces after accidentally balancing weight on both feet. She hopes no one saw. In the firetruck, Grayson smacks his hands to his face when the giddiness of planning a date fades and he realises they don’t have each other’s numbers, but she could just visit the next time... right? He hopes so.

Grayson wonders if something like fate were true, would it bring them both together again?

Her car honks and Y/n mumbles a curse from how embarrassing her mother is. She gives a final smile to the firefighters left upstairs who peer down at her from the balcony and give a wave back. She doesn’t hear it when she wobbles back to her mother in the car, but the firefighters upstairs giggle and mumble over how the lady Grayson’s been talking about has finally showed up and cured the pout and sadness off of the big guy, maybe he’ll be less aggressive with the punching bag now.

After tossing the crutches in the back and facing forward with a heavy sigh. She tells her mother to back out and drive home. Her mother sits shaky in her seat and exclaims joyfully, “I took some photos of you two!”

“Oh whatever, mom,” Y/n exhales with warm cheeks, fighting a smile that her mother stares at while she glances at the fire department through the side mirrors of her car. Thoughts full of Firefighter Grayson Dolan from station 127.

[tommyhardyx]

Mr Solomons - Part 10

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Pairing: Modern!Alfie Solomons x Reader Word Count: 4.2k Summary: Alfie is still in a bad mood with his broken leg, and an old friend comes to visit.  Warnings: swearing A/N: I’m so sorry this took me so long! I’ve been trying to figure out where to take this series and I think I’ve finally worked that out so hopefully it won’t take me too long to get the next chapters done now I know what’s happening. Also thank you to @acciostilinski for helping me write Tommy, making sure he’s not too nice.

With Alfie moving around easier on his crutches, and his breathing becoming easier as his ribs begin to heal you expected his mood to change. Hell, you figured the regular blowjobs you’ve been giving him would be enough to lift his spirits, but still he’s been in a bad mood.

He has his good days, sometimes only good hours, but more often than not he’s in a foul mood, his frown set deep on his face.

Some days he has Ollie pick him up and take him to the distillery, taking Cyril with him to keep him company. But most days he sits around the flat, watching TV or working on his laptop, his bad mood filling up the room.

Today is a day like that, with Alfie on the couch with Cyril while you sit at the table, with your laptop open in front of you, your fingers flying across the keyboard as you work on an article, for the first time in a while the words come so naturally to you, the narrative pouring out of you so easily.

Your fingers falter when you hear a knock on the door, the sudden sharp noise of it breaking you out of your flow of words.

“Can you get that for me love?” Alfie calls to you, and you sigh as your train of thought is broken and you get up to go open the front door.

A vaguely familiar looking man stands in the doorway when you open it, his suit more expensive than anything you own, piercing blue eyes assessing  you as the corner of his mouth turns up slightly.

“Can I help you?” you ask.

As the man nods, you notice a bottle of what looks like whiskey in one hand, while his other rests in pocket and he glances over your shoulder into the flat behind you.

“I’m looking for Alfie. He home?”

His voice is what makes it click, his accent so distinct that you suddenly realise who you’re looking at. Tommy Shelby.

“Yeah he’s home,” you step aside, opening the door wide enough for him to step through. “He’s in a mood though.”

Tommy seems to be amused by this as he steps inside. . “I’ve dealt with his moods before. Tommy Shelby”

He says his name as if it should announce him, careful eyes watching your reaction as he gauges exactly what Alfie has told you about their friendship.

You nod, and  introduce yourself, doing your best to be polite to a man with such an air about him.

There’s something about Tommy that makes you uneasy, maybe it’s the eyes that seem to be looking into your soul, or that he walks in as if he owns the place.

Alfie glances over the back of the couch as the two of you approach, genuine surprise on his face as he looks at Tommy.

“Tommy? What’re you doing here?”

Tommy places the bottle of whiskey which bares his own name on the table before coming over to sit in the armchair across from Alfie.

“I heard what happened, thought I’d come see how you’re doing,” he explains.

You fold your arms over your chest, feeling oddly uncomfortable in the place that has come to feel like home to you in recent weeks.

Alfie watches Tommy for a moment, eyes narrowed slightly in what looks like thought before he looks over at you.

“Can you give us a little privacy?”

Frowning, you watch as Tommy reaches into his pocket to retrieve a cigarette case and a lighter.

“Oh… uh, sure. I’ll just take Cyril for a walk,” you decide, not wanting Cyril to be around if Tommy is going to smoke.

“No worries love, see you in a little bit.”

Tommy nods at you as his way to say goodbye, and you give him the briefest of smiles as you clip Cyril’s leash onto him and leave the building, the dog brimming with excitement.

“So,” Tommy starts as soon as the door closes, running the tip of his cigarette over his lips, “That's the journalist aye?”

“Yeah mate, that’s the journalist. So, what’re you doing here Thomas?”

Tommy leans back in the armchair,  crossing one leg over the other as he lights his cigarette.

“I heard about what happened and I was in London so I thought I’d come and see you. You look worse than I expected,” Tommy explains, a small smile on his face which could only come from years of comradery.

Alfie huffs a laugh, hand running through his beard as he moves his arm over the back of the couch.

“I heard it was Sabini who did it,” Tommy continues, flicking ash into a coffee cup sitting on the table “He’s been spinning yards, telling everyone he sent you to the hospital.”

This comment earns a snort from Alfie, the older man shaking his head slowly.

“He didn’t do anything, sent three other cunts to do it for him. Didn’t even bother to show his face,” Alfie says.

“And what do you plan to do about it? Or are you going to sit here feeling sorry for yourself until you get the plaster off your leg?”

Alfie bristles at the comment, before y/n he never would have hesitated to show Sabini what happens when you mess with Alfie Solomons, even if he was retaliating for Alfie making the first move. Now he hasn’t even considered it.

“Not feeling fucking sorry for myself mate, just biding my time alright?”

Tommy’s eyebrow quirks, the disbelief clear on his face.

“Is that right? Or is your relationship clouding your judgement?”

“Don’t fucking bring her into this Thomas, she’s got nothing to do with it.”

Tommy leans forward, putting out his cigarette in the coffee mug he’d been using as an ashtray.

“You asked her to leave, seems you haven’t been entirely honest with her,” he comments, watching the anger bloom on Alfie’s face. “A year ago, if I had said any of this to you you’d’ve pulled a gun on me, but I guess these days you’ve got your guns locked away far from the view of the journalist.”

Alfie’s hand curls into a fist on his thigh, his jaw clenching as he glares at his friend.

Seeming satisfied with himself, Tommy stands his hands returning to his pockets as he does.

“If you decide to stand up for yourself, give me a call, I’ll be in London until the end of the week.”

Alfie doesn’t say a word as he watches Tommy go, his hand slowly sinking beneath the couch cushion, fingers brushing against the metal of the handgun he’s had tucked away down there ever since the attack at the distillery.

When you step back through the door, the lingering scent of cigarette smoke is the only evidence that Tommy was here at all.

“He’s gone then?” you ask by way of greeting, letting Cyril off his leash so he can go join Alfie on the couch.

Alfie smiles briefly at his dog as Cyril settles his head on his lap, his fingers immediately moving to pat the dog’s head. You move across to the other side of the room, opening up the windows to let in fresh air to flush out the smell of smoke.

“Yeah love he’s gone,” he says, his body relaxing slightly.

You nod, sitting back at the table planning to get back to work on your article when Alfie glances over the back of the couch at you.

“Are you alright? Somethin’ seems off with you,” he points out.

Shaking your head, you stand up to grab your hoodie off the back of another chair, pulling it on.

“I’m fine, I just… something about Tommy made me uncomfortable,” you admit, the bad feeling that buried itself in your stomach when the man walked in like he owned the place still present.

Alfie nods, calling you over with a flick of his wrist. You come to stand behind the couch, and his hand finds your own holding it softly.

“Yeah he does that to people, don’t worry alright? You won’t have to see much of ‘im. He lives in Birmingham, just came by to see me while he was here,” he explains, his thumb brushing the back of your hand.

It’s the most affectionate he’s been with you for weeks without being in a bad mood, without it feeling forced, so you can’t help the small smile that creeps onto your face.

                                                  --------------------

With only a week to go until the cast is supposed to come off, just seven days until freedom, you assumed Alfie would be in better spirits about everything but he’s still in a mood, still grouchy whenever you try to mention it.

After all this time he’s still unable to accept that he isn’t invincible, that what happened would happen to anyone.

Making your way into the coffee shop, you spot Hannah and Ollie immediately at a table near the back and smile when Hannah looks up and grins at you.

A waitress comes by to take your orders, and soon enough three cups of coffee sit before you on the table.

Hannah was the one who suggested to meet up for coffee, deciding that as Alfie’s three caretakers it was about time the three of you sat down without Mr Grumpy himself to chat. She pulls you in for a strong hug as you approach the table, as does Ollie before you settle into the empty chair left for you.

The conversation begins with no mention of Alfie, Hannah and Ollie checking in with how things are going at work. But, as expected, soon enough the conversation turns to the man you all have in common, and as you listen to Hannah talk, her true motive in inviting you here becomes clear, she wants to make sure he’s not chasing you away.

“Look, I know Alfie can be bloody miserable when he’s like this but really he means well,” she explains, sipping her iced coffee.

“Don’t sugar coat it Hannah, he’s been a prick to everyone since he got hurt, just don’t judge him entirely on how he is now compared to how he was before that, he’ll get over it eventually.” Ollie says.

“Will he? Because I’ve tried talking to him, tried telling him that what happened could have happened to anyone, but he’s so ashamed that it happened to him he just shuts down and refuses to talk to me,” you explain.

Ollie sighs, glancing at Hannah before turning back to you.

“Let me talk to him. He’s stubborn but he usually listens to me, I’ll talk to him about it,” Ollie offers. “If he doesn’t listen to me then Hannah can try.”

Hannah nods, her hand reaching across the table to settle on your own.

“He’ll listen to Ollie, really just come spend the day with me and Ollie can go over and talk to him,” she offers. “We can have a girls day and just not think about my grump of a brother for a little while.”

You smile softly, noting the comforting feeling of Hannah’s hand on yours.

“Yeah alright, that does sound good,” you decide.

Hannah beams, brushing a stray curl away from her face.

“Yay! We’ll have a great time while poor Ollie here has to go see Alf,” she says with a teasing grin at Ollie who just rolls his eyes.

“Lucky me.”

                                                 --------------------

For the first time in a while the front door opens to reveal not y/n, but Ollie, six pack of beer in hand and as he steps inside, Alfie has a feeling this isn’t a friendly visit.

“Hey Alf,” Ollie calls as he shrugs off his coat, hanging it on the hook by the front door.

“How’s it going mate?” Alfie asks, watching his friend carefully as he runs his hand over Cyril’s head, the dog resting on his lap as he has taken to doing ever since Alfie got hurt.

“Alright, how’re you feeling? Getting around a lot easier these days,” he comments.

Ollie puts the beer in the fridge, grabbing one for each of them and handing one to Alfie before he sinks into the armchair across from the couch.

“Spit it out, you ain’t here to ask about me fuckin’ leg,” Alfie says as he cracks open his beer.

Sighing, the younger man takes a sip before he speaks having rehearsed exactly how to engage Alfie in this conversation on the way over, though he didn’t expect to have to get to it so soon.

“Right Alf I’m saying this because I’m your friend and y/n is too nice to say it, you’re being a fucking prick.”

Alfie blinks once, twice, three times as Ollie’s words sink in. Not one to often swear, or to say a bad word about anyone, Alfie knows that if Ollie is calling someone a prick, he means it.

And he’s not wrong, Alfie knows he’s being unfair especially to y/n when all she is doing is trying to help. But he can’t shake the feeling of shame he gets whenever glances at his cast, or feels the twinge in his chest from the pain of his healing ribs.

“Yeah,” he mutters, rubbing a hand over his face and up into his hair. “Yeah mate I know.”

“You’ve got a really great girl, don’t let her get away because your pride is hurt. We both know there’s nothing you could have done that night. Even you can’t fight off three guys,” Ollie says, his voice strong, but sympathetic.

Alfie allows a grin to slip onto his face, looking up at his friend who doesn’t often stand up to him like this.

“Look at you, come here to tell me off aye?”

Ollie rolls his eyes as he sips his beer, but Alfie just laughs as Ollie’s words roll through his head, the first real laugh coming from the man in quite a while.

“Ah fuck. Don’t know why she’s still ‘ere to be honest with ya, if I were her I’d have fucking run weeks ago,” he mutters, running his hand over his beard.

“Because she loves you, that’s why she hasn’t left,” Ollie offers, and Alfie just shakes his head.

“I’ve fucked up haven’t I?”

This time it’s Ollie’s turn to laugh as he looks at his oldest friend.

“Look, you’ve been a prick sure but that doesn’t mean you’ve ruined everything. Do something nice for her, surprise her with a nice dinner or something and apologise. She’ll forgive you because she wants to forgive you. And I know that because she told me that, we’ve been talking about you,” he adds with a grin.

Alfie just shakes his head, a hand rubbing through his beard. “I assume Hannah is behind that,” he says, and Ollie just shrugs.

“Who else would it be? You think y/n or I would do that? Of course it was Hannah. She cares about you Alf, she just wants to make sure you’re happy and without y/n you’re not as happy. She doesn’t want you to lose her. We don’t want you to lose her.”

                                                 --------------------

Coming home from work a few days after seeing Ollie and Hannah and Ollie’s promise to talk to Alfie, you’re exhausted from a long day and ready to collapse into the couch with Cyril and forget about anything.

Of course you can’t do that, because you have the grump to look after. It’ll be hours until you get to sit down and relax. Well, at least that’s what you’re expecting.

Walking into Alfie’s place, you’re surprised to find a glass of wine on the coffee table, candles surrounding it as the only light in the room, with Alfie nowhere in sight.

“Alfie?” you call out, shrugging off your coat and drop your bag onto the armchair beside you.

“That’s for you,” Alfie’s voice comes out of nowhere, making you jump as you turn in the direction on his voice. “Dinner’s almost ready, so you just sit there and drink your wine until it’s ready.”

He moves steadily on the crutches these days, making his way towards you standing by the door leaning in to kiss you softly.

“What’s this for?” you ask.

He rests his crutches against the wall, his arms slipping around your waist and pulling you closer to his chest.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been acting like a cunt since this happened, I know I have. You’re tryin’ to fucking help me and I’m being a grumpy fuck all the time,” he says, his eyes focused on yours as he speaks.

Even though you know this is only happening as a consequence of Ollie having a talk with him, you can see the sincerity of his apology written all over his face. Gently, you press a kiss to his lips.

“Thank you for apologising,” you mutter, resting your forehead against his as you wrap your arms around his body. “I guess what Ollie said sank in huh?”

He smiles, reaching to press a kiss to the tip of your nose.

“Usually does, he doesn’t often have a go at me so when he does I know it’s serious. But I am sorry y/n, you’ve pretty much been living here with me and I’ve been nothin’ but a grumpy prick the whole time.”

You smile moving your head to settle against his chest, his big arms holding you tight and comfortably against him.

“I love you y/n, I hope you know that.”

“Yeah Alf I know. I love you too.”

The two of you stay like that for a while, his arms feeling like home again after weeks of tension between the two of you.

Eventually he pulls away, a soft kiss pressed to your head as you whine at him pulling away.

“Gotta check on dinner love. Get comfy on the couch, drink your wine and just relax yeah?”

You nod, kicking off your shoes and giving him one last peck on the cheek before letting him go.

“I’m just going to change into something more comfortable first.”

After dinner, you and Alfie snuggle up on the couch, his arm around your shoulders as you rest your head on his chest, a movie of your choice playing on the TV in front of you while Cyril sleeps by your feet.

For the first time since Alfie got hurt, the first time since your trip away you finally feel like things are good again, finally feel that sense of comfort and warmth from being around him.

As your trip to Brighton comes back into your mind, you’re reminded of a particular conversation between the two of you.

“Alf, do you still want to get another dog?” you ask.

His eyebrows go up, a look of surprise on his face as if he entirely forgot he ever intended to get another dog.

“Yeah.... fuck I forgot we talked about that. After I get the cast off, there’s a dog shelter not far from ‘ere and we’ll go there and pick one out,” he decides, his eyes falling on Cyril who is asleep on the floor by Alfie’s feet.

“Sounds like a plan,” you say as you snuggle further into his side. “Thank you for tonight, this was really nice.”

Alfie smiles down at you, his thumb brushing against your cheek.

“Ollie’s the one you should be thanking, he suggested this. But you deserve it, I’ve been a cunt to you ever since I got hurt and you’ve done nothing but try and look after me. I’m sorry for making things so difficult for you.”

You smile, pressing your lips to the tip of his thumb.

“It’s alright Alfie really, you don’t have to keep apologising. Just as long as you don’t go right back to being a prick in the morning, consider yourself forgiven.”

He chuckles, his lips pressing against your forehead.

“I promise it won’t love.”

                                                 --------------------

Watching Alfie as you make your way through the animal shelter, you smile at the sense of wonderment on his face. Ever since you reminded him about getting another dog Alfie’s been in a better mood than he has for weeks.

When he got the cast off you asked if that was what he was so happy about but no, while he was relieved not to need the crutches anymore the prospect of being able to do things entirely for himself again a definite mood booster, he was mostly excited to go look for another dog to join your little family.  

“Aw love, look at this little one,” he says, squatting down in front of one of the cages. You move to stand by his side and your eyes spot a small grey pit bull puppy in the corner, chewing on a toy. “What’s a dog as young as you doin’ in a place like this huh?”

“She was brought in a few weeks ago, someone had hurt her. People are cruel to breeds like this one,” one of the workers overhears Alfie and fills him in, Alfie’s brow furrows at the mention of the puppy being hurt.

“Who the fuck hurts a dog this small that can’t even defend itself?” Alfie grumbles. He turns to the worker. “Can I hold her?”

She nods and unlocks the cage, giving Alfie the chance to reach in and carefully lift out the puppy, holding her against his chest.

“Hello little one,” he says, his voice unusually soft as he holds the dog up to his face.

The puppy leans in, tail wagging behind her, as she licks Alfie’s cheek earning a laugh from the man.

“I think she likes you Alfie,” you point out, smiling at the excited puppy in his hands.

The worker smiles at the sight of the big man playing with the usually shy puppy.

“She hasn’t been this open with anyone who has come in and looked at her. We’ve been calling her Blue but you can change her name if you decide to take her home,” she explains.

“Blue aye? I think that’s a good name for her,” Alfie says, gently scratching under the dog’s chin. “What do you think love? Think she’s the one for us?”

His inclusion of you in the decision is touching, bringing a smile to your face as you let Blue sniff your hand, smile growing when she gives your hand a little lick.

“I think she’s perfect,” you tell him. “I think Cyril will love her too.”

Alfie grins as Blue leans in to lick his face once again.

“We’ll take her.”

From the moment she first laid her eyes on Alfie, Blue loved him. As soon as you get her home, she doesn’t want to leave his side, only going near Cyril when Alfie carries her over to him giving them both a chance to sniff each other.

Alfie has to lead Blue around the place to prompt her into exploring the flat, eventually deciding to go off on her own, sniffing everything in sight as you and Alfie set up a bed for her. Cyril watches Blue carefully, following her at a distance as he makes his mind up on how he feels about the new addition to the family.

Now, as you and Alfie cuddle together on the couch little Blue sits on his lap, too busy trying to chew on his finger to pay any attention to any of the toys you had bought for her earlier that day.

“She really likes you,” you comment, smiling at the look of contentment on Alfie’s face as he plays with the puppy in his lap.

Alfie grins, laughing as Blue attempts to climb up his chest, settling down so her head rests below his chin.

“Think you’re right love,” he says, fingers gently patting the dog. “I like her too.”

His free hand settles on your knee, his fingers brushing against you as he looks from the dog on his chest to you.

“I’m glad to see you in a better mood Alf,” you admit, earning a grin from him.

“It’s nice to be in a good fucking mood again. I was bloody miserable all those weeks, and I know I was fucking miserable to be around. But now the leg is healed and my ribs are almost healed, I’m plannin’ on making it up to you for having to put up with me,” he says, a sly grin on his face.

You shake your head, leaning in to press your lips to his hand resting gently on his cheek.

“Oh you better be making it up to me. I had to put up with a lot from you,” you tease, his chuckle forcing your smile to grow.

Blue barks, sensing that she has lost yours and Alfie’s attention. You pull back, turning your attention back to her, and smiling as she tries to chew on Alfie’s beard.

“I don’t know how dogs seem to love you so much, I’ve never seen a dog around you that doesn’t love you immediately,” you tell him, fingers brushing against across Blue’s back.

Alfie grins at that, looking from Blue and back up to you.

“Guess I just know how to charm dogs,” he says with a wink.

Tags: @eap1935 / @coolmaybelateruniverse / @sandyddt / @inkeducatednnerdy / @ravendor28 / @thisisjeany / @overitall2018 / @outofbluecomesgreen / @mollybegger-blog / @bilesxbilinskixlahey / @elemph / @pointlessblogger99 / @marvelfangirl-x / @madbrilliant84 / @lotusbreathe / @justanothershelby 

[hvlfwygod]

the ferryman | gabriele & abel & lucien (& chiron) (& etc)

summary: some spirits are moved more easily than others

Gabriele wasn't sure why he'd come anymore. His company was frustrating at best and— he didn't want to be uncharitable and finish the thought. He'd come not because he was doing anything particularly useful, but because he was worried. He thought Lucien had been perfectly secure in the hospital, but apparently the bed was needed. So, he was going to the Big House instead. Despite getting Jordan to seal all the windows and Chiron's repeated assurances, he could not shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong. His goddess was whispering something, but he couldn't quite catch it. Really, he just wanted to see Lucien get inside this room and the door get locked. And he wanted a friend by his side while he waited with Jordan for this transfer to occur. But Abel was sulking, honestly sulking, and Gabriele prayed to be out of the bad energy soon. "You didn't lose, Abel," he said, not for the first time.

Jordan said that he’d meet everyone there, trying to spend as little time as possible with every single component of this. He’d told them before he left that he’d done the research, and turns out, Hecate, though excellent with communicating with and guiding spirits, had no actual control over them. Turns out, there was no way that the spell was supposed to work with putting a second spirit in the body. Because Major came back, it complicated things. He was an anomaly, and there was... basically nothing Jordan could do about it, besides put a locking spell on his holding cell, apparently. He shivered under four layers, his body protesting the cold and yet refusing to warm up.

Abel was on the other side of Gabriele, just as quiet, though the gloom did seem to seep from their pores. As Gab spoke, they turned up their nose. “Ah, I didn’t say that I did.” This time. “You can stop speaking to me as though I am a petulant child.” They were almost grumbling instead of speaking. “Had I decided to go for lethal blows he would not be standing there anyway.”

Gabriele rubbed his hands together, unconsciously affected by Jordan's shivering. He sighed deeply. "I'm not speaking to—" He had half a mind to ask Jordan if he also thought that he was speaking to Abel like they were a petulant child, then he realized that doing that might vindicate them. "Alas, my attempts at encouragement fall on unwilling ears. I am sure you're correct, and let's be thankful that you went easy on the poor man." He sighed again. "I still think this is a bad idea. Jordan, the room will hold, yes?"

Abel only sighed more at Gabriele’s reply, feeling more patronized, and Jordan could feel the aura of death creeping in on him, though he didn’t know quite what it was. He hunched his shoulders up as if that might keep him warmer, and suddenly a cat appeared on his shoulders, wrapping around his neck like a scarf and blending into his hair. At the question, both man and cat tensed, and his eyes found another person as if for the first time. “I don’t fucking know,” he snapped. “I’m literally fucking here because I’m a failed magician. I think it’ll hold. I don’t know.”

Abel glared at Jordan over Gab. “Shut up. Stop sulking because you accidentally possessed a person. Poor you.”

Gabriele bristled slightly at Jordan’s reply and even more at Abel’s. Though he was inclined to agree with them: as much as he believed in second chances, and even pitied Jordan’s situation, he didn’t appreciate being snapped at. “Abel, shush. Jordan, you are not a failed magician. I would argue you’re actually quite competent, which for this instance is quite unfortunate. You’ll have to forgive my paranoia, as since you cannot do much else to assist us, we’ll have to wait until Abel is healed to help our friend.” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. The vibrations off these two were unbearable. “I do not like playing with fire by giving Lucien more time to scheme, but it cannot be helped. The least I can do is make sure he cannot run off.”

Jordan clenched his jaw and Crinitus growled at Abel, looking as though he might leap off Jordan’s neck before he got a pat from his owner. “It was a stupid question. I gave an equal response.” Fuck this year, thank god it’s almost over, Jordan thought to himself as he walked away from the other two, not giving them time to reply to him. He approached each of the windows, drawing sigils so they would stay locked tightly. Crinitus followed down Jordan’s arm, as if inspecting and reinforcing the windows.

“Don’t listen to him,” Abel muttered, as though they needed to be the one to reassure Gab. “It was a good question. He’s just upset.” They hung their head. “I wish I was well enough to extract more from him. I might be. I’ve been using shadow magic each night to heal myself and I think Ime might be messing with me to keep me on the crutches as a joke.”

Gabrielle watched Jordan walk away with a weary expression, then turned his attention to Abel. He tilted his head, studying them for a moment. “I would prefer you be safe, Abel. I would hate to see you hurt yourself more. I’m sure Major would, too.” He didn’t know this, but he wanted to reassure Abel. Gabriele rubbed his chin, thinking for a moment. “How bad was it when you took those smaller ghosts out?”

“It’s not hurting me. I’m perfectly able to do it,” Abel was muttering once more. “Not like I need my leg to extract a ghost.” They rubbed their eyes with two fingers and pinched the bridge of their nose at the question. “That’s the real reason I’m afraid to do more. He started bleeding internally, I think. Coughing up blood and the like. I’ve never taken a ghost out of someone before, but it seemed strenuous.”

Gabriele decided he wasn't going to argue with Abel about why they should wait for a stab wound to heal before doing anything strenuous like exorcise a ghost. Something told him that it would only end in further frustration. Instead he focused on their answer to his question. "I see," he said with a frown. He took a few steps away from Abel, hoping the bit of space might help to clear his head. "I think I can—" Gabriele paused when he saw a car approaching. His eyes flickered over to Jordan, then Abel, then he walked over to the passenger door as Chiron unfolded himself from it. "How is he?"

"Difficult to move," Chiron said. He, too, seemed incredibly annoyed. At least they all had each other for company.

Gabriele moved to peek into the car. Lucien was handcuffed in the backseat and trying very hard to not be. Gabriele was given a hard, hateful stare, and an unkind comment that he only heard partly, muffled as the man was by the closed window. He rolled his eyes and walked back over to Abel. "I was saying, I can try to ease that burden.

Jordan felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up as Crinitus, true to his name, floofed out as he pressed closer to his owner. He had no desire to see Lucien ever again, and he walked back to Gabriele and Chiron. “Done. I’m leaving.” Despite his words, he didn’t disappear right away, awaiting any sort of further instruction.

Abel did seem like they were starting to disappear. At the sight of the car, Abel’s form began to fade from vision, as though hiding themself from Lucien.

Lucien knew it was probably a hopeless endeavor, but he tried to break out of Chiron's hold anyway. As he was hauled out of the car, he tried to push his way to freedom. Of course, it was to no avail, but it didn't stop him from kicking and thrashing. He couldn't believe there was an audience for this, and he was newly enraged when he saw that Jordan was among it. For a single moment, he thought the man was here to help him, but then it became clear and Lucien bared his teeth. "You fucking traitor," he sneered.

Was Abel even listening to him? Gabriele looked up to the sky. "That would be nice, Gabriele," he mumbled under his breath, so quiet he doubted anyone heard him with Lucien throwing such a fit. "Thank you."

With no further instructions and even less of a desire to stay now that Lucien was directly speaking to him, Jordan ignored the hissing cat on his shoulder and disappeared with a small pop.

Abel glanced over at Gabriele when he spoke once more. “Hm?” The shadows under their eyes were more pronounced, though it could be to do with their near transparency. “Ah, ya, thank you. Sorry, I just don’t know if a peaceful passing is an option at this point.”

Gabriele just watched as Chiron hauled Lucien inside. Normally he would offer to help with a task that looked as difficult as this, but Gabriele had no interest in getting kicked in the face over someone else's bad idea. Besides, Chiron was strong, and for Lucien's struggles he was inside the house in a matter of seconds. Gabriele followed after from a safe distance. "I agree. It's doubtful, with that one," he said. "But I want to try something, okay? Come with me."

Abel resisted the urge to groan loudly in displeasure, instead they just kept a small frown below their face mask. When asked them to come, they followed after Gabriele.

Gabriele managed a smile, then sped up his walk. "Chiron?" he called out as he walked into the Big House.

The centaur looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow. "Yes?" His arm was fully wrapped around Major's body, and Lucien seemed to be exhausting himself; his struggles were getting more vague and had longer pauses in between. Now it looked to be nothing to just hold the man relatively still.

Gabriele cleared his throat and pointed to Lucien. "May I quickly speak to—”

"I'm not talking to you," Lucien snarled.

Gabriele smiled. "You don't have to say anything, actually."

Chiron sighed. "Quickly." He tightened his grip and turned so that Lucien, glaring at anything other than him, was facing Gabriele.

Wasting no time, Gabriele moved a little closer and stared at Lucien. Eye contact would be easier, but since it was so... busy in this body, he could manage. "Hello?" he asked gently. Was he imagining things, or did Major's body slump somewhat? Regardless, he felt that he had someone's attention. "How are you feeling?"

Abel ran their tongue over their teeth as they watched Gabriele and whoever it was inside of Major’s body he was speaking to. They noted the change in posture and pitch of the ringing in their ears as they shifted their weight from their heel rather than their toes.

No answer came out loud, but Gabriele felt it: restless, uncertain, grasping at empty air. "Forgive me for disturbing you," he said; it was only because it was definitely not Lucien that he was being so polite. "What are you doing in there?" Another quiet moment, but this time Major's hands twitched slightly. Gabriele took it gently and felt the ghost become more grounded in Major's body. Or rather... many, cobbled together. There was halfway a conscious person here. Gabriele swallowed his disgust and pressed on. It felt as though a thousand pairs of eyes were on his back, so he knew he had many spirits listening in, not just the ones who responded to his greeting. "I am not here to hurt you. I simply think you are lost. This is not where you belong, and if you feel stuck, I am able to guide you out. You need only follow my voice." Immediately, he felt something brush against his hand. Just a few ghosts, but it was better than nothing.

Abel had never seen Gabriele work before, and they went from quietly sulking to entirely rapt. They could understand now why a goddess would have chosen Gab for his job. How comforting would it be to have a soothing voice to follow at a time of such confusion and stress. His voice was hope. It was a vocal guiding hand, and they suddenly forgot that they were upset and sulking.

Gabriele allowed another moment to pass to see if anyone else would join his small group, but all the rest of the ghosts seemed unwilling or too uncertain. He didn't push it for now, and let go of Major's hand. "Sono venuto per avvolgerti e proteggerti da tutte le cose malvagie," he mumbled. "I'll take you soon, stay with me."

Lucien was already starting to stir, so Gabriele stepped back, his new spiritual posse moving with him like little orbiting moons. "I will come back and talk to more. I shouldn't try to guide too many at once."

"Ugh," Lucien moaned before Chiron could get a word in. He lifted his head groggily, like he'd just woken from a long sleep, and spat at Gabriele's feet. "Fuck you." Gabriele ignored this.

Chiron did, too. "That... Well, let me know when you plan to visit, so we can have him ready."

"Fuck you."

Gabriele smiled again. "Of course." He turned to Abel. "If I can help enough of these spirits, it should hopefully make your job less... painful, no?"

Abel didn't quite know how to express how much they needed Gabriele to help them at their job. After seeing him in action, the wanted to let him know that they thought his technique was both brilliant and moving, but they weren't sure if it was quite time for such sentiments, especially in front of Lucien. They nodded once, eyes bright and focused on Gab. "I... yes, I think that it would."

He noticed that Abel was no longer pouting. It was like the whole room got a little brighter, and Gabriele's smile grew. "Good. I am glad."

Once the demonstration seemed to end, Chiron lifted Lucien off the floor completely and walked him further into the house. He kicked his legs in protest, but there wasn't much he could do.

Gabriele watched Chiron disappear into the house as he headed for the door himself. "I am going to go somewhere more secluded to finish this," he said to Abel, gesturing the ghosts surrounding him. "But I will speak to you later, si?"

Abel almost smiled back at Gab, and then remembered that the slightest uptick of their lips would be imperceptible to their friend anyway. “Ya,” they agreed with a nod, starting out of the room after Gabriele. “If you can still find pleasure in my company after today.”

[yellowsugarwords]

Hey, what if the Ericson Crew was really determined to get Clem a prosthetic foot/leg and somehow all of them ended up in Richmond and Clem’s just like “hey I know this place and these people” and everyone just explores Richmond looking for a prosphetic foot/leg and it draws enough attention as to where Javier is called to deal with/help them? I think it’s a cool idea but I know that you may not agree with that.

IM DOWN AHHHH my heart this is so fluffy and sweet

Clementine was struggling.

She’d never admit it.

But everyone could see it.

She kept trying to do things she couldn’t do with one leg.

Hauling wood.

Hunting.

Fishing.

The crew continued to try and find tasks that would be easier on her.

She refused.

She wanted things to go back to normal.

Even if she knew they never would.

“We need to do something.”

Violet initiated the emergency secret meeting between Ericson members.

To make a plan.

To help her.

“I don’t know what we can do,” Louis said.

“She’s stubborn. She won’t accept any form of help.” Ruby added.

Stubbornness was in Clementine’s nature.

They’d all known it since day one.

“Maybe we shouldn’t be helping her adapt,” Violet began.

All eyes were locked on her.

“Maybe we should be helping her get back to what she knows.”

They cleaned up the wheelbarrow.

Filled bags with food and water.

And organized their search team.

Tomorrow, the search for a leg for Clementine began.

A makeshift one, at least.

Clem woke up the next morning to goodbyes.

To being eased into a wheelbarrow.

To Louis hauling her out the front gates.

She was teary eyed.

Staring back at the few they’d left behind.

They always went so far out of their way for her.

This was yet another one.

Their group consisted of a handful of people.

Louis and Violet.

Clementine and AJ.

And Tenn.

They walked for days and nights.

The group took shifts pulling the wheelbarrow.

And Clem took some shifts walking.

She always got mad at herself, though.

For how slow she was.

For how quickly she got tired.

For how much of a threat she was.

“I don’t know why you guys bother with me,”

They’d taken a pit stop.

AJ and Tenn were leaning against each other, sleeping.

Louis, Violet and Clem were up.

Around their fire.

Violet and Louis’ chests heaved.

“We care about you, Clem.” Louis said.

“We love you.” Vi reached out. “We only want to help.”

Clementine, teary eyed, nodded.

Then broke down.

And sobbed.

They didn’t talk about it the next day.

They didn’t want to worry AJ or Tenn.

They stumbled across a set of gates.

A giant set.

With a cement runway.

With guards patrolling a watch tower.

Clem squinted.

She recognized this place.

And she recognized it even more when the guards let them inside.

When she caught a glimpse of the streets.

All they needed was something to operate as a peg leg.

According to the guards, they could loot through old supplies.

Practically garbage.

But they needed a supervisor.

To make sure they didn’t steal anything.

Louis helped Clem to her feet.

Out of the wheelbarrow.

And AJ passed her the crutches.

A handful of people around the corner.

Clementine could hear them filling someone in.

“A leg?”

“Yes, a leg.”

Clementine recognized that voice.

The one being filled in.

Clearly one of the makeshift town’s higher ups.

“I’ll supervise them,” the voice said.

All nodded and vanished.

Then, Clementine could see him.

Him.

Javier Garcia.

Her eyes widened and lips parted.

And his his eyes settled on her, he did the same.

It took time.

A moment to look past the ways time had weathered them.

But it was him.

And it was her.

“Clem?”

“Javi?”

Louis’ jaw dropped.

Violet and Tenn remained still and waited.

AJ scrunched his nose, confused.

Javi lunged forward, accepting her elbows into his hands.

She abandoned her crutches to let him.

“Oh my God,” he said.

He brushed a hand against her cheek.

And squeezed her arm and shoulder.

“It’s you,” he managed.

Clementine smiled tearfully.

And let out a laugh.

Underlying a sob.

“It’s you,” she said back.

And clung to him.

“Clementine knows Javier Garcia.” Luis gawked.

“Who’s that?” Violet asked.

“An amazingly famous baseball player.”

Violet raised a brow.

Javier had an arm wrapped around her back.

The other wrapped around the back of her head.

Stroking her hair.

And looked up at study those she came with.

Her new team.

Her new family.

Gingerly, he pulled away.

His grip tight on her arms.

Holding her steady.

“What happened?”

Clementine’s eyes wavered harder.

“A walker.” She hushed.

Just barely above a whisper.

He choked.

The tears welling leaping forward.

“Clem…”

“I’m okay,” she said, nodding.

Her own tears leaping forward.

“I’m okay. I made it.”

Javier squeezed her shoulders.

Reassuring her.

He had her.

She had been so close to giving up.

To letting the feeling that she was a waste of space get the best of her.

She felt like a chore.

She knew she was a chore.

And she was so close to letting it control her.

Then, there came Javi.

At the perfect time.

Right when she needed him.

“We’re gonna get you something better.” He said.

His voice wavering.

He waved his colleagues over.

His arm hugging Clem’s shoulders to keep her steady.

“Let’s go get you a leg.”

They didn’t just get her a leg.

They crafted her one.

All thanks to Javi’s command.

They managed to find a large plank of discarded wood.

One they’d used when redoing the watchtower.

Javi got the woodworker to work on it.

As well as with some tools from Richmond’s blacksmith.

“We’re gonna make it the best it can be.” Javi said.

Smiling and beaming.

So excited he could do something for Clementine again.

They stayed the night.

Javi brought them to the dining hall.

And sat with them to eat.

Kate popped in to join them.

From the other end of the room, Clementine spotted Gabe.

Who froze.

Locking his gaze with hers.

He practically dropped his food.

Instead, he ran to their table.

Collapsed as he hugged her.

And they both cried.

He sat beside her.

And kept on her leg all of dinner.

Just above the stump.

They stayed in huddles of makeshift tents.

Louis, AJ, and Tenn in one.

Violet and Clem in the other.

The boys were having a ‘boys night.’

Louis started it.

Tenn and AJ loved the idea.

He did it to keep their hopes high.

Clem appreciated it.

Even it they were giggling and chatting until late.

“Good night, Clem.” Violet said.

Softly chuckling at their neighbours.

“You’re gonna leave here tomorrow with a new leg.”

And Clementine smiled.

Her cheeks pushing out her tears.

Silently crying.

The next morning, Javi and Kate went to fetch them.

Beaming.

“Good news,” he’d said.

Kate helped Violet lead Clementine.

The boys trotted after Javi.

Louis fawning over him the whole way.

There, at their breakfast table, was a leg.

Partially wood, partially metal.

Pristine as could be.

Everything in place.

The metal parts were for sturdier support.

For movement around the ankle.

The rest was wood.

It looked fantastic.

And fit like a charm.

Even though Clementine would need to learn how to walk again.

All day, she fumbled with it. She took lots of breaks.

And the group would take turns holding her hands.

Helping her up.

Guiding her as she attempted to learn to walk again.

They stayed for a second day.

While Clementine fumbled to get accustomed.

While her and Javi teased each other like old times.

While her and Gabe caught up.

While her and Kate gossiped.

They stayed while Louis and Gabe bonded.

While AJ and Tenn met up with Richmond kids.

While Violet and Kate bonded.

While Javier tried to teach Louis how to play baseball.

And later, AJ and Tenn too.

While Violet found a role model in Kate.

The next day, they all woke up knowing.

They needed to leave.

They had a family elsewhere.

Ericson.

They couldn’t leave them behind.

Louis asked for an autograph before they left the next day.

“I’m never taking off this shirt,” he said.

“You haven’t in like 5 years.” Violet countered.

But as they were packing up to go.

Examining their now-empty wheelbarrow.

Clementine and Javier gave each other a look.

That look.

The look of new beginnings.

Clem and Javi cracked a deal.

Richmond and Ericson would share food and supplies.

Richmond’s young would migrate to Ericson.

Where they could train, grow, and learn in peace.

Without risk of an attack.

Ericson was less known that Richmond, and far more secluded.

Safer.

Richmond provided more security.

Ensuring the school stayed protected.

Then, when older and trained enough, all went back to help Richmond.

The bigger, overarching group.

That way, they could stay family.

They could stay connected and supported.

This way, they could stay alive.

Together.

Then, with her new leg, they started off.

Holding onto Louis and Gabe.

With Violet keeping a hand on her back.

With AJ and Tenn leading the way.

Hauling a wheelbarrow full of supplies.

The first of many Ericson would receive from Richmond.

They were on their way home.

The first of many groups of young people heading to Ericson.

Together.

Feeling whole and complete.

The way it should’ve been.

The way it would now always be.

[things-we-used-tc-share]

The things we used to share (for irony) with Logicality? 😊

//I have waited for this day since the creation of this blog

Warnings: Angst, breakups

Ship: Logicality 

“I don’t even care, you can keep the things we used to share,

but what did you do with my heart?”

Everything in Patton’s house feels alien to him, bits and pieces of a relationship now shattered lay around like sharp fragments of glass. Except instead of cutting his hand, Patton’s heart breaks just a little bit more. He stares at the TV set, remembers curling up next to the set and watching Brooklyn 99 whilst Logan added commentary that always made him laugh. 

He doesn’t suppose he’ll want to watch the next season so much anymore. 

He can’t remember where Logan put the remote anyway. He can’t remember anything except Logan. His bright blue eyes, the way he walked and talked, the way his words seemed perfectly spun to carefully construct a sentence. Logan never believed in wasting words, but apparently, he didn’t hold the same view on wasting hearts. 

Patton sleeps at his friend, Roman’s house, for two weeks after the breakup, because every little object he could imagine a memory for. At this point, he doesn’t even feel real. He wishes he couldn’t feel at all. Even his own reflection is a ghost haunting him, reminding him of Logan’s hands cupping his jaw, pressing their lips together, brushing over the freckles on his cheeks. He can remember Logan’s hands around his waist and honestly, he dreams of a day when he doesn’t have to think of the younger’s hands on his body. 

He feels sick. He sits on his knees as he struggles to keep his food down, crying through gulping breaths and resting his head against the wall.

‘What did you do with my heart?’

It’s an honest enough question to ask because he can no longer tell right from wrong, up from down, black from white. He can’t tell nothingness from genuine emotion and he hasn’t slept in three days because his bed feels too big without Logan curled up next to him and stealing the covers off of him in the middle of the night.

--

“I swear, I will kick you,” Patton teased lightly, rolling himself up in the blankets with narrowed eyes. Logan laughed the carefree sort of laugh that is usually only reserved for his boyfriend; unrestrained. “Now you will never be able to steal the covers from-ah! Logan! Put me down!” Logan had scooped the burrito Patton up from the bed into his arms with a grin. “Don’t you dare!” Patton scolds, right before Logan grabs the edges and promptly unravels Patton out onto the bed. “I hate you,” He mumbles, through a laugh. 

Logan presses a soft kiss to Patton’s lips “I love you too,”

--

Patton looks at the state of his room, plates were piling high and clothes were all over the floor, his hair is a mess and the bed hasn’t been tidied in at least a week now. Some part of him can convince himself that Logan had just gotten out of it, that he’s just gone to the shops. 

His jaw clenches as the tears start up again, and he curses in frustration. ‘Why is this so hard? What about this can be so hard? It’s simple, just bag up Logan’s stuff, take it to Roman’s so Logan can pick it up because if I see him...’

Patton’s thoughts freeze. ‘I’ll break’ He’s not even sure he could possibly break further, at the moment nothing seems worth it, there doesn’t seem to be any point to anything. The moment he starts going through this stuff he’s going to start crying like a little child again. Patton wipes his eyes and grabs his phone. “Hey Roman...”

In less than fifteen minutes Roman, who is usually on the other end of this scenario, turns up with a few black bin bags and coffee. He sits down and grabs Patton’s hands, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead “It’s okay,” And he’s said those words before so many times but right now, it’s everything Patton needs to hear. He doesn’t think he’s going to stop crying anytime soon. “We can do this,”

They start to go through the drawers and wardrobe and little objects. Patton holds a small teddy bear in his hands as tears spring back into his eyes again, holding it to his chest. 

--

“Happy valentines day!” 

“I still don’t understand precisely what your need is to celebrate a very clearly commercial holiday, nevertheless, I did get you a gift,” Patton gasps lightly as a small teddy bear is placed into his hands. He squeals a little, he loves stuffed toys. 

“Thank you!” He throws his arms around Logan’s shoulders, standing on his tip-toes to kiss his cheek. Their first valentines together, the first of many he hopes. He holds out a box of chocolates shaped like a heart with a smile, and Logan suppresses the urge to say ‘These are terribly unhealthy’, in favor of thanking him. Because Patton’s smile is more important. 

--

“Why is this so hard, Roman?” Patton asks as they finish bagging up the things, leaning back against the bed to sip his now-cold coffee. “I mean...it should be easier than this right, I feel like I don’t even know how to breathe without him,”

“Then that’s a mistake you need to learn from,” Roman squeezes Patton’s hands “Logan was such a constant in his life, he helped you make almost all of your decisions, you saw him every day constantly, he made almost all your memories for the past five years,” The younger brushes a hair out of Patton’s eyes “It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to be scared and unsure, but you need to know that next time, whoever it may be...you can’t make them your crutch because once they’re gone this happens,”

Patton nods slowly. “You’re right,” Roman smiles. “Do you think you could help me...?”

“I’m going to stay here for a few days, I packed a few essentials, but the first port of call is you having a shower whilst I make us some dinner, from there we can figure out what comes next,” He kneels up and presses a kiss to Patton’s forehead. “Moving on is not the same as moving forward, and the longer you stay like this the harder it will be to escape it,” He stands up, and helps Patton up to his feet. “One step in front of the other, we can do this,”

And if there’s one thing Logan could never take away from Patton, it’s his friends. 

Taglist:

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