#so im trying to just ~enjoy the process~ now
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An Ally Update No One Asked For: I do have a Tuesday update for y'all tomorrow but it's probably going to be an afternoon / evening update. I have decided to rewrite the ending and probably won't have it fully finished the way I want it to be until later because I have given up on it tonight and am going to bed 😊
#allylikethecat#ally's status updates#that no one asked for#and probably no one cares about#but as always *I* care#so i'm sharing#because this is my blog and i can do what i want lol#also apologies its not the christmas fic#that one is still slowly chugging along#i think my issue is im not ready to be done with infection verse fictional!Matty and fictional!George#so i am subconsciously prolonging the time i get to spend with them lol#also i kinda burnt myself out trying to force it all out before the holidays#so im trying to just ~enjoy the process~ now#but yeah anyway no one panic!! i do have an update for yall#its just gonna be an afternoon one not a morning one
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attack for @/pi_peeppeep_pi (art fight) !!!
#my art#art fight#artfight 2024#team stardust#team seafoam#YAAAAAY FIRST ATTACK runs around in circles#do u guys have any idea how proud i am of this!!! bc i am literally framing this in my brain im so happy with how this came out and im even#happier that pipi likes how they turned out :] i had so much fun working on this#even when i was trying to figure out how everything would look i still really enjoyed the process and found it really therapeutic#last year i had an art class and we drew a lot of skeletons (all human) and i think one cow skull and i also really enjoyed doing those#and working on this reminded me a lot of that class!! AND IM ALSO HAPPY BC I FOUND A BRUSH THAT LOOKS LIKE A COMBINATION#OF ALL OF MY OTHER FAVORITE BRUSHES AND I FEEL LIKE I CAN DRAW WITH IT THE WAY I WOULD A REAL LIFE PENCIL AUUGHHHHH IM WINNING#oh yeah halfway into figuring out how everything was gonna look the basement started flooding. for context i have a desk in the basement#where i draw . bc it's quiet . and it started flooding . LMFAO so i had to stop for 2 hours to take care of that with my dad#all is fine now lol just pray we dont get any more rain. then we might not be as fine but its all good
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so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks™ or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently
#ive been running on “two cakes. u aren't BOTHERING people by putting art on their feed they can scroll past it/if they dont they get ”cake“”#and we love “cake”#“cake” is picture on the internet in this case#like okay the contracts and transaction format is a me problem!! i need to get rid of the “utilitarian brain worms” bc they're boring#this is supposed to be a hobby and the “get a good grade in hobby” wolf in the brain is just crying bc that's how they understand the world#the “get a good grade in x” wolf has valid pain but needs to stop controlling my life because they don't need to earn “enough value to live”#ect ect ect#and the life of minmaxxed utility is a life of trying to appeal to a “correct” that doesn't exist yaddi yadda = boring#i love you wolf. also shut up. affectionate. concerned. you get it#ok so we remove tangible purpose from act of experience art because THAT'S not “the point”#because “the point” is the joy killer eccetera ecc#but then what? “here check out this labor of love. i drew this fucker 15 times. no there's no story* there it's just a guy”#*story in this case being an emotional engagement/a situation/a context in which to ponder/other#so it's just a Draw. no further analysis. what do others Get from that?#i know i deeply enjoy art because im a fan of the process of People Making Stuff. i love when there was nothing but now there's something!!!#THAT'S what's it all about!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!! right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so it stands to reason that creation is purpose enough?? to be experienced???? to be known????????#idk!!#this is a nothing burger of a thought people have always liked picture on the internet stfu maiora there doesn't need to be a reason#this is just the brainworms talking!!! because god forbid “something not have a purpose”??? blegh!!!!!!!!#sounds like unhealthy rationalizing instead of letting things be out of The Fear™!!sounds like depraving urself from joy bc of BRAINWORMS!!!#so like!!!!! picture on the internet doesn't NEED inherent value. creation is enough!! (plus there's the Attachment to Character. also.)#but then why are YOU *points at you* here? gen q!!#i made an image you like and now you are reading my word babble in some tags!!! what's THAT all about???????????#it's INTERESTING!! do you see what im trying to get at??#is it empathy??? person made something other saw something other made- other2other connection???? intrigue????????#.......all this is probably explained in some book or yt essay somewhere. oh well.#in the meantime thank you for your time! we can pretend we were stuck in an elevator together and then i started rambling#i hope you have a great rest of your day thanks for stopping by!! <3#maiora garrulates
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So sad you didn't like the dadsy moment. I thought for sure you would go crazy.
As far as I know David Breen wrote this episode and he's not new. Don't quote me, but I think the writing team is the same
Actually went back and edited my post twice earlier cause I had a buddy mention the mixing studios change and then I also was able to process more lol y’all must have the first version my B o7 I can’t believe my hcs have become canon
#knox rambles#asks#anon#lmk s5 spoilers#I NEED YOU TO KNOW IVE HC’D PIGSY DOING THAT KIND OF STUFF SINCE DAY 1#I think losing flying bark is just hitting me harder now that I’m watching#it’s ep 1 cut me some slack guys i beg of you#ngl I also would have thought I would have left for joy but I didn’t feel anything when it happened#the animatoin is sadly really messing with me and my ability to connect with the characters currently#I’m a little sad we got the moment in ep 1 and not later on because I didn’t have time to process the animation change cause that kept#slapping me in the face and preventing me from really being able to pay attention#I’ve mentioned before if somethings off it makes it hard for me to focus and the sound and the animation was off so I was having a field da#trying to figure out what was off and all that#DOING MY BEST TO TRY AND ENJOY IT BUT IM DEFINITELY GONNA NEED A HOT SECOND THIS IS REALLY ROUGH FOR MY BRAIN#anyway ily guys u know me so well I do love meself some dadsy content
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god, in the next life, please let me be born in the late 80s in california so i can go to animation school like calarts and work on powerpuff girls or my little pony and be a hipster in 2010s thank you!!!!!!
#I JUST WANNA MAKE CARTOONS BUT EVERY ART SCHOOL IN POLAND IS LIKE#why would you want to make a film in this technique…. what are you trying to project in this film… how queer#I WANNA DRAW SILLY SHIT LEAVE ME ALONEEEE#IM SO TIRED OF EXPLAINING EVERY TINY STEP OF MY PROCESS#I KNOW THATS THE POINT BUT GODDDDD#LET ME JUST ANIMATE DUMB SHIT FOR PEOPLE TO ENJOY#I HATE HAVING TO FIND AND EXPLAIN MEANING BEHIND EVERYTHING#WHY CANT IT ALL JUST BE POINTLESS#im speedrunning this degree and getting the fuck out#im truly beginning to detest the art world in the strangest way possible#cause at the end of the day i crave its approval#but i can tell that once im done with school it wont matter to me anymore#fuck man#all i wanted was to get a degree to make cool stuff for kids#and now im here#questioning if i was ever good enough for that in the first place#personal#sorry yall
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you'll be pleased to know that on my first day back at my job after my two week vacation i am already in one of my semi-regular Job Crises where i feel like if i dont find a new, better job soon im going to explode into 5 billion pieces
#in case you were wondering if i was handling it well#considering getting some sort of degree . but i cant afford that!!!!!!!!!#but i may need one. if i want a better job........#this is so evil. where are the jobs where you can just do fuck all#in all seriousness back to the degree thing im considering getting a degree in library sciences but i dont even have a bachelors 💀#i was too broke for college! had to work! still have to work! no time or money to go to college then or now!#my crisis aside its extremely funny to me how im not even through my first day back and im like oh lol right i hate every minute of this 👍#also im trying not to have Severe guilt abt the ticket(s) i bought the other day like some crazy person but thats another story#yes ill make the money back yes ill enjoy the show but the Guilt..........#which was entirely because my dad was like >:( when i told him i got a ticket for a Far Lesser amount#and im just hoping he doesnt notice how much my bank account has gone down. oops#but that aside and back to my job crisis:#i cant stand it here!!!!!! i really do hate it!!! and i need a new job. however? everything abt the job process is awful and against me#i was planning on writing an article when i got back from vacation but you guessed it im now too stressed/upset to be creative#which is hampering any possibility of my creative aspirations becoming some sort of career#im so tired. already right back to where i was before my vacation when i really needed a vacation#:( . like ill be fine lol i just. am going through it and these tags have gone on too long#but i think i really will get worse if i stay here for longer and its not even that bad but by god sometimes it is#anyway . im taking it well
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FIRST DRAFT DEFEATED!!! its 54k words currently
#personal#canary continuity#i still need to lengthen/change some scenes#theres some long exposition in some scenes that should probably just be cut for like. the events#leading up to the important moment.#although i enjoy representing the overthinking/anxiety so i'll try to find a way to keep most of it#and a currently really important foreshadowing/thematic scene i want to make more subtle#originally there was going to be more than what i ended up with but most of the time when i complain about pacing its LITERALLY just me#also i need to cut some repetition that isnt intentional for the sake of showing the kind of. circular self-blame going on in d's head#because especially in the face of a psychotic break its intentional. but in some places i need to make things more abstract i feel#im kinda happy with most of the early scenes though. favorite to write was mikey... whats going on in your head little guy#i love the little unnerving ways it shows they are still actually CONSCIOUS beneath whats going on. like enough to resist it sometimes#itll get explained more deeply in the aftermath oneshot but thats why the change was slow and subtle#it was more an alteration of their thought processes/intrusive thoughts that slowly ate them alive#the progression felt normal for them#but notably raph actually is holding back the whole time and i think thats pretty interesting#and actually kind of horrifying LOL he couldve been so much nastier#anyways ill stop yapping now. youll see what i mean when im done#its a really powerful curse. i actually have a lot of ideas for the character responsible that explains why#and i even know the motive behind it. im still a little iffy about including her or making her a continuous threat but i Miiiight
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So deadass right after i said I prolly shouldnt start another comic about TCOAV Yuu,,,, i did it. I blame the little adhd creature running on a hamster wheel in my noggin.
(Don't worry to the remaining individuals who made requests, I didn't forget about you and they're still being worked on LOL)
Uhhhh WIP???? 😳
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst wonderland#disney twst#oc#oc art#twst oc#twst mc#original character#yuu twst#twst yuu#mc twisted wonderland#art wip#wip#digital art#boopshoopsoc#now if only the lil adhd creature could put that energy into WRITING#THE NEXT DAMN CHAPTER#im so sorry to my readers lmao i swear i'll get it out at some point#im just trying not to do it when i'm too stressed#it makes it harder for me to enjoy the writing process#i should probably make a tag for TCOAV stuff for whenever i create a masterlist oop#also hello to you lurking in the tags#i care you 💕🫵🏻#TCOAV#yuu shi#boopshoopsart
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writing a slow burn enemies to lovers fic is. a lot harder. than I had expected.
#it’s why it took me so long to start akdhfkfjf#I’m just not used to writing slow burn!!!!#or enemies to lovers!!! lol#especially since enemies to lovers toes a very thin line#of this being too fast and all at once after a brief makeup#OR they’re too mean in the beginning and it’s like why do u have any attraction to that person at all.#so I’m trying to find the line of hesitant friendship somewhere along the line of that!!!!#even tho I’m only on chap three right now AKDHDKFJFJF#IM SO USED TO RUSHING THIS FEELS SO WEIRD!!!!!!#I’m ready for them to fugg#bc fugg is all I know I fear#but it’s coming along very well and I’m enjoying the writing process so much!!!#only downside is my wrist and back hurting#but trust and believe I’ll be back writing tomorrow ☝🏼#I’m enjoying this so much it’s so cathartic#I think I’m gonna write about five chapters first before I publish it and then write the rest as I go#I just know I can fall behind bc of school and depression but I’m really liking this so far!!!#also think I might upload on Monday’s or Thursdays??? idk#bc I do school tues/wed and I don’t typically get on my computer on sundays#and I usually go to bed either really late or really early Fridays LOL idk#I’m rambling soooo much I’m just so excited about this!!! OH and j made a banner and I love that too!!!!#—in store chit chat! 🍫
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gonna start allowing myself to post non madcom art here i think.. :]
#started as a vague vent but now i just like it#also yeah i think restricting myself to only posting madcom art on here has kind of been stifling me artistically i think#because id rather put effort into stuff i can post -> meaning trying to force all my art to be madcom -> making me kind of burn out on it#i still love acton and murphy so muh but ive been enjoying myself drawing sona designs too lately#this is pretty rough but PRETTY GOOD FOR ME considering i usually only do sketches#anyways yas. this sona was technically first made in like.... 2021? and ive been bringing him back to deal with some stuff#and experimenting w his design a lot in the process hes not usually this blue#IM TALKNG A LOT. ok queuing im currently writing this at 4:30 am#kuiper#my art
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But mainly, and really:
#red's week in music#STORYTIME WITH RED GATHER ROUND KIDDOS!#was at kids club tonight and went in knowing little 8 year olds mom had her baby this morning and lil girl was now big sis if two#and knew she hadnt come from home bc her hair was a mess of someone who didnt know curls trying to do it lol#shes generally emotional and dramatic but we can all see that shes a lil more so tonight. understandably. lotsa change#well she kinda hinges on this one thing of not getting the verses said to earn a jewel bc she wasnt able to say them-- totally fine! we'll#practice and get them later! but shes distraught bc she worked on them with mum and wont get jewel so i keep telling her when we'll work on#them together and when ill listen to her and we can get it done. cool. then lesson time shes up and down sniffly and the lesson says smth#about childbirth-- bursts into disarray. i ask her if she wants to step out and we blow her nose and she keeps talking about the verse so i#tell her solutions for that and then shes working herself up so i work thru calming down and she goes from#“i think im mad” to “mom would let me do what i want!” and i know the real issue isnt the verse but thats what shes telling me so...#adult shes staying with cautiously steps in and she calms down to tell me “its not the verse... i think i miss my mom”#oh my heart i know honey i give her a hug and we talk about the sleeover shes going to have and when shes going to see mom#and shes sleeping next to lil sis so shes going to give sis a big hug and tell her theyre going to see mom in the morning#and then i ask her if she wants to go back and she does and i just hold her and hug her the whole time#i give her another squeeze when she leaves and tell her to enjoy her sleepover#her friend shes staying with i should not did a very sweet of coming over and saying “hey lookit this new book i got do you wanna color it#with me maybe?“ which was such an emotionally mature thing for her and to see lil kiddo cheer up warmed me#teachers we debriefed and talked about kids going thru stuff at home and not being able to tell and process their emotions and stuff#and then i shared with mum on the ride back and she goes “yup. lil toddler will just miss mom-- its trauma at this age. this is why i#panicked and called my mother to come for your sis's birth bc dad said he could handle you but my heart couldnt for what you would go thru.“#i was six when my sister was born. my grandma being there before consistently made me giddly excited in that time waiting for dad to bring#us to the hospital.#anyway my heart was full and im praying extra hard for two lil girls in a sleepover missing their mom tonight.#red's personal sitcom#Spotify
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welp! i finished catching up with 2.1 thankfully but -
#avil plays hsr#im so glad i was able to catch up before i go out of town for the weekend but. yeah.#tbh i dont have Thoughts atm about the whole quest#NOT TO SAY IT WAS BAD IT WAS REALLY GOOD !! i really enjoyed the story#and esp the way that they had decided to do the storytelling of the update#but um. otherwise i have no thoughts. i was just sitting here for the ride and wao was that a ride.#UP TO THE VERY END TOO my goodness#ill just say: there are some bits i was a little confused on but i think some processing and we'll be fine alskdjfhl#aaaaaaand some additional investigation#oh there was a bit of the story that made me go 'hahaha real tsurumi island vibes' and now i miss tsurumi LMAO#good job me.#its gonna take so much willpower for me to not pull for acheron btw.#i did try to pull for luocha before. and lost to clara which is fine aslkdjfha#i cant be mad at clara bc i like clara but i havent used her. at all.#and im trying VERY HARD TO HOLD OUT FOR ROBIN....#but also im like ..... acheron......#wait. i can just. i can read her character story...........#i have nothing else set for the day aside from a quick call i think but besides that. i can go get lost in penacony for a while LMAO
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Lowkey hoping my application to college falls through again so i can. Perchance apply for video game school lol
#ill be honest i cannot see myself as a psw im sorry#its an extremely noble job and i do enjoy caring for people and wish i could be somebody families could trust to care for their loved ones#but the idea of doing that for the rest of my life. fucking kills me#a resident i was endeared to died this weekend and im. havibg a rough time processing#that ill never see her again or hesr her voice or see this thing she had wanted to show me#my life does feel so so so bleak and defeated tbh#i just want to do what im passionate about. but thay doesnt make money.#why is life always faltered by fucking money man#im trying so hard to be positive now but i am naught doing as great as i coukd be lol#its onky a matter of time before the dissonance runs out and i snap under the reality of what direction im goin ✊️😖
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#okay. i can handle this:#...i just really wish it wasnt so hard to do everything for me. like. ive spent years of my childhood molding myself for the sake of others#and what for? now that im an adult im just trying to completely remove the trauma i experienced as a kid.#and i just look back on all these things that hurt me and think#idk. theres not much to be done. in a way its a relief being able to pinpoint#diary#personal#i was gonna say i wish my mood was more stable but thats not quite right.#i guess i moreso wished i was a bit more resiliant. i wish that not every little thing hurt#or just. i wish i could handle the stressors of life a bit more easily. but i cant.#idk. its been a really rough week to be entirely honest. and then i just have little moments like these#where things sorta feel like they just fall into place. where i feel like i was just a kid. i didnt really understandokay im acting like thi#but really in the end it doesnt stop it for me? everything still hurts so much.#and its still hard to know all the things i need to deal with and do.#and honesty i know i cant handle the stresses that come with adult life. i cant even support myself really#i fully depend on my parents for any and all basic necessities.#i can pay for my health insurance yeah. but thats about it?#i could potentially pay for my phone and maybe other basic necessities. but in practice i cant.#the process of setting these things up is damn near impossible for me.#honestly. i think that while i enjoy the internet and such sometimes this is the worst time for me to exist#bc i just. am constantly stressed with so many things bc of it. and theres not much to be done really.#...i hope i can book an appointment with my therapist sooner than later.#at least i have a bunch of stuff i can do to keep myself busy ig...#but really. thats the problem. theres too much to do and its far too stressful.#well. at least ill be able to play with some things ig. idk. i have a new planner im excited about.#i like planning. i miss studying. i hate working. im tired of only having the options of working out or being in pain.#im just so tired of it all.#that appointment i had with the specialist sorta really made me realize. oh shit. this is my life now and im fucked.#like. i can take anti-inflammatories. but thats it really. my life is just gonna constantly be like this. and im tired.#idk. im gonna go finish my latte.
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I've been thinking these past few weeks about my interactions with my friends and how I interact with them and come to the conclusion that it feels like they love me as a person but aren't exactly interested in me as a person and now I want l kinda want to cry
#the results of me being all by myself with no human interaction for 3/4ths of my day#since im currently not working and my roommates are#feel free to ignore#i just wanted to put this thought somewhere to get it out#hoping it would help the emotion im feeling currently#and the whole process was started by me trying to talk to my roommates about something i thought they would really like#cause they've loved very similar things in the past only to be kinda blown off in a polite way before i can even show them the thing#or for them to very obviously listen/watch a little and then move on to their interests or topics like mine never happened#like i get people can like different things and still be friends but also genuinely not enjoy/become interested in something they're friends#show them and that's okay-i think im just by myself too much right now cause I'm getting to far into my head#but yeah-i listen/watch/read the things they enjoy so im able to engage with them about it as much as i can#cause that's a nice thing to do and it's like bonding time-but i dont think ive really had friends before that would do the same for me#im sad about it but dont wanna disrespect the boundries they've put up or implyed they have about 'infodumping'#possible im reading too much into it tho and projecting my past thoughts and feelings from past friends that blew up in my face horribly#hmmmmm... these thoughts might be therapy thoughts...#personal
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idk im just thinking about something...
The bakusquad had been enjoying a casual walk after class, laughing and joking around, when Kaminari suddenly stopped in his tracks. His face scrunched up in a mixture of confusion and disgust as he pointed down the street.
"Brotha eww, what is that?" he blurted out, drawing the others' attention.
Mina followed his finger, her eyes locking onto a couple who seemed completely oblivious to the world around them, tangled up in a passionate kiss. She stared for a moment, trying to process what she was seeing, before wrinkling her nose in disgust. "Why are they making out in the middle of the street?"
Kirishima averted his gaze quickly, his cheeks flushing. "Stop staring, you guys, that's rude!" but his voice held a hint of curiosity like he was wondering what exactly was going on.
Sero squinted, leaning forward slightly as he tried to get a better look. "Wait a second," he said slowly, a dawning realization creeping into his voice. "Why do they kinda... look familiar?"
It was like a light bulb went off in everyone's heads at once. Mina gasped, her eyes widening in shock. "Ohmygosh, that's—"
"BAKUGO AND Y/N?!" they all yelled in unison, their voices overlapping as they stared in disbelief.
The couple in question didn't seem to notice the commotion they were causing.
Katsuki's hand was tangled in your hair, pulling you closer as if he couldn’t bear the thought of you being even an inch away from him. Your hands rested on his chest, gripping the fabric of his shirt as if anchoring yourself in the intensity of the moment.
Kaminari’s jaw dropped, and he nearly tripped over his own feet. "I did not need to see that," he muttered.
Mina, however, was already pulling out her phone, ready to snap a picture. "Oh, this is too good," she giggled.
Kirishima reached out to stop her. "No way, Mina! You can't just take a picture of them like that!" But there was no hiding the grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.
Sero folded his arms, smirking. "I gotta say, I'm surprised, but... not that surprised? I mean, we all knew something was up with those two."
Mina paused, phone in hand, and nodded. "Yeah, I guess it was kinda obvious. But still, this is Bakugo! Mister 'I don’t have time for your stupid feelings!'" she made a groggy voice.
Kirishima laughed, shaking his head. "Guess he does have time after all."
As the group continued to watch, Bakugo finally seemed to notice them, his sharp eyes catching sight of his gawking friends. His expression instantly shifted from lovey dovey to pissed, his usual scowl making a fierce comeback. He pulled away from you slightly, though he didn’t let go, his hand now resting possessively on your waist.
"Oi, the hell are you extras looking at?!" he barked, his voice carrying down the street. His glare could’ve burned a hole through steel.
You quickly buried your face in his chest, a mix of embarrassment and laughter bubbling up inside you. Katsuki was clearly not having any of this, and his friends knew better than to push their luck when he was in a mood.
But Kaminari couldn’t resist. "Sorry, bro! Just, you know, didn’t expect to see you guys... uh... so cozy in public!"
Bakugo growled, tightening his hold on you. "Mind your own damn business!"
Sero waved his hands in a placating gesture. "Alright, alright, we’ll leave you two alone. Come on, guys, let’s give them some privacy." he snorted, shaking his head.
Mina blew you a cheeky kiss before turning away, her laughter ringing in the air.
As they walked away, you peeked up at Katsuki, a smile tugging at your lips. "Well, that was... something."
He huffed, still glaring at his retreating friends, but when he looked down at you, his expression softened.
"Strawberry lipgloss? That one new?"
#bnha#my hero academia#bakugou katsuki#boku no hero academia#female yn#katsuki bakugou#bakugou x reader#x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#mha
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