#but um. otherwise i have no thoughts. i was just sitting here for the ride and wao was that a ride.

[elegyofthemoon]

welp! i finished catching up with 2.1 thankfully but -

[casualhedonists]

✩ it don’t need your loving, it just needs attention ✩ (chapter five)

pairing: Coriolanus Snow x reader

warnings: NSFW (18+), snow being snow, themes of sex work (not the reader), cuckolding, eventual smut, fake relationship, unprotected sex, themes of voyeurism & mild exhibitionism, murder/violence mention (but no actual murder) , MAJOR manipulation/gross power dynamics + generally darkish themes, some power play, lots of switching between dom/sub dynamics, oral sex, thigh riding, face sitting, degradation, dirty talk, edging/orgasm denial, roughhousing, eventual piv, one chapter specific dubcon scene (pls tell me if i forgot anything!)

chapter: 5/6

words: um. 9.5k (sorry? but also you're welcome??)

chapter warnings: this chapter contains a scene that falls solidly into dubcon territory, so please proceed with caution, stay safe out there.

moodboards

series masterlist

a/n: WELL. here we are, almost at the end of our little rollercoaster ride. i've lost brain cells over this chapter, almost cut it up into smaller chunks, but ended up leaving it as long as i originally planned (longer, in fact. whoops). as always, feedback is very welcome + encouraged (i love hearing/reading your thoughts as things progress) buckle up, please do take note of the dubcon warning, prepare for the angst, and most importantly, enjoy!

i do not give permission for my work to be reposted/translated anywhere, under any circumstances.

He was back to ignoring you again.

But this time, the feeling was mutual. You’d never felt as thoroughly rejected as you did the night he had you walk back to your room, legs weak, wrapped in nothing but his shirt.

Once upon a time, this scenario would have been one you dreamed of, but reality often falls flat on its face. You wouldn’t have dreamt of walking away from him like this if you’d known it would feel this empty.

Humiliation ran rampant through your body, starting with the tears you blinked away as you left his room, closing the door behind you, and then flooding over as you stepped into your own room, slumping on the bed, curling up into yourself and weeping, pressing your still aching legs together but too upset to finish yourself off.

You kicked yourself for getting carried away, for getting too loud, too possessive with his face between your thighs and your hand in his hair. For getting so caught up in the moment, briefly forgetting your games, and for believing even for a second that you would be on the same page.

This push and pull had begun to wear you thin, and you were tired. So, you slept. Until nearly midday the next morning, when Lucille knocked on your door to remind you it was time for your monthly PR debrief.

The good news, though arguable at this point, was that your arrangement hadn’t been affected by recent events. At least, not on paper. Cordelia ran you through each gala, public appearance, and dinner, barely noticing your preoccupation, rambling on about speeches, coordinating outfits, dates and times of events, what to say and how to say it.

For you - and you could only imagine, Coriolanus too - everything had changed over the span of a month. 

Your shame made you abnormally quiet, head hung low, gaze averted, nodding along as Cordelia prompted either a response or approval from you. Snow just stared, glancing at her only when completely necessary, but otherwise, he didn’t take his eyes off you.

He was enjoying this. The sick fuck. You were glad when the meeting ended and you could scamper into the library, eager to lose yourself in a story of any kind other than the one you were living.

This went on. By day, you barely looked at him; by night, you tried over and over to prove that your own fingers were enough to keep you satisfied. To convince yourself that you just wanted him, you didn’t need him.

Because if you needed him, then he called the shots. He would win. And victorious as he may seem, the game wasn’t over yet. You’d slipped up in a moment of vulnerability, he’d tricked you into a corner just to prove his point.

You wanted him, you didn’t need him. But if you did… well.

He was going to have to need you more.

You held back this time. Keeping your cards safe, close to your chest. In a strange way, you found a kind of solace in your arrangement. Recent events had caused it to feel unstable, breakable even, but the meeting had ensured that it was all still on the right track. It allowed you to take a small piece of what you wanted from him without guilt or repercussions. After all, it was planned out to benefit you both. Then, when you were ready, and with a gentle hand, you began to weaponise it, loading it up in the barrel of a gun aimed directly at Snow.

You didn't have much left, but you had this. You knew where your promiscuity had led you. This time, you wanted to pull on his heart strings. Make him feel remorse, or whatever similar emotion he was capable of. Make him soften to you. Torture him with almosts that were never enough.

So when you took, you took cautiously, tentatively. You deepened your usually light kisses to what was just past socially acceptable, only to pull back when Snow began to lean in, turning away and smiling at the people surrounding you, or full-on entering into conversation with somebody else. You'd brush your thumb against his when you held hands, waiting for him to look at you, drawing your hand away when he did. You'd offer smiles to everyone but him, talk and laugh a little louder when you could feel him watching.

You pretended he didn’t exist. You could feel him begin to simmer. It wasn't as brazen as your usual game, but it was working.

Until it wasn’t.

“Something’s wrong, what is it?”

Lucille’s face dropped, her shaking hands lowering from the zip she was struggling with. You were getting ready for a luncheon, and you’d picked out an emerald green dress, one of your favorites for daytime events.

“I’d hoped you wouldn’t notice, ma’am. I apologise. It’s my brother, he… it’s getting worse again.”

“Sit down for a second. Talk to me. What’s going on?”

You listened to Lucille open up uncomfortably, visibly nervous that you would offer your financial support as you’d done before. But you didn’t, sparing her from having to turn you down.

Lucille was stubborn - she would never accept your charity. She was more than happy to work for her wages, and frequently worked longer hours. As months went by, you’d brought her pay up as high as you could without her noticing. But now things were getting more critical, and you knew there was only one thing you could do.

“Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? Go and see your brother.”

“But you’re not dressed-”

“I’ll take care of it. Go home, Lucille. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

She smiled softly.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

You’d tried with the zip, you really had. You didn’t want to have to knock on Snow’s office door with two favors to ask instead of one, but the dress was tight and the zip kept getting jammed. So, there you stood, dress half undone at the back, heart in your throat. You counted your blessings; at least it wasn’t his bedroom. You didn’t think you could face him at all in there. You heard typing from inside.

“Come in.”

You pushed the door open, feeling like an intruder.

“Sorry, I just… Could you help me with this?” Your hand tightened behind your back, holding the dress together.

He narrowed his eyes. He was already in his suit, typewriter on the desk in front of him.

“Lucille forget how to do her job?”

“I don’t need snide right now. Please, Coriolanus? I’ll explain when I’m not half naked. It’s drafty in here.”

You tried to make it clear in your tone that this wasn’t some ploy. You weren’t sure you had many of those left to offer.

“Fine.” He sighed, and stood, making no motion towards you, so you crossed the room, gripping onto the fabric, turning your back to him.

His hand came to rest on your waist as the other took the zipper, and you tried not to flinch at his touch. You pressed your lips together as he carefully zipped you up, cold metal sending a chill down your spine. Or maybe that was just him. You felt your eyes slide shut and your lips part as his hand lingered on your waist. You couldn’t hear anything but your heartbeat and the tick of his grandfather clock.

“Is that okay? Not too tight?” His breath on your neck gave you goosebumps, you hoped desperately that he wouldn’t notice.

“No, it’s perfect. Thank you.”

The second his hand fell from your waist, you missed it. You carefully met his eye; he was looking at you like you had something he wanted.

So why hadn’t he wanted you? You’d been right there, and he’d turned you down.

He cleared his throat.

“I should finish this letter before we leave. Was there anything else?”

You paused.

“Actually, there is. Could I ask you a favor?” You glanced off to the side, suddenly very interested in the knots of wood on his desk. What helped was that you'd never seen inside this room before, and you hid behind your curiosity like it was a lifeline.

“What is it?”

“It’s…” you lowered your voice, “it’s about Lucille. Her brother, actually. He’s in the hospital again. The family can’t afford the medical bills to keep him in for as long as he needs. I’d like to foot the bill, but I can’t do it anonymously. I thought… well, I was wondering if you could pull a few strings.”

You were overexplaining, something you weren’t at all used to doing, but these days, just being in the same room as him made you nervous. You stared at his desk, at the lack of photographs on it, the single pen laying to the side, the smoothness of the glaze.

It was quiet for a moment.

“Consider it done.”

You looked up.

“Really?”

“Did you think I’d say no?” He asked.

“I- no, but…”

“It’s something that matters to you.”

You blinked, dumbfounded at how simply he put it.

“Yes. It is. Thank you, Coriolanus.”

“Don’t mention it. I’ll make sure it’s anonymous.”

“Thank you. Or, I mean…”

He looked at you, and you wanted to melt. Wanted to throw strategy out the window, god, but -

You couldn’t. It hadn’t worked last time. You’d hoped to avoid a stalemate, but here you were, sat right in the middle of one.

“The car’s coming in a half hour. Are you almost ready?” He asked.

“Yes. Almost.”

The luncheon was going well, at first. You were at the head of a large table, sat beside Snow, straightening your salad fork as he stood up to make a speech. You’d been glancing at him throughout the afternoon; it wasn’t so hard to anymore. It felt like his willingness to help Lucille without question, just because it was what you wanted, had more of an effect on you in five minutes than the entire week of your teasing had on him. One conversation, and the tides had changed.

As he began talking, you started to realise that your gentler approach may have been affecting you more than it had him. The party was transfixed; people loved to hear him talk, and you were proud. He had a certain way with words; you knew better than anyone. You’d fallen victim to them.

You weren’t sure why his words affected you – you’d been there, you’d agreed when Cordelia had suggested he say something nice about you in this particular speech, really make the crowd swoon, lay it on thick - but when he started to talk about you, about how proud he was to have you by his side, how strong you were-

You knew he was just reciting a script written for him, but you couldn’t help it. The tears began to quietly fall. You thanked whatever higher being was listening for not letting anyone notice.

Or so you thought.

It was just typical that out of all the people that could’ve noticed, the one person who knew better was the only one who did.

The rest of them would’ve brushed it off as you simply being moved by emotion, honored by his kind words. You blinked away your tears, taking small, polite sips of your wine. It was painful because you knew it wasn’t true. None of it was, you knew he could never say those words and mean them.

And he knew that too.

It was dark when you got home, and you trailed behind him awkwardly on your way upstairs.

“Can I have a word?” his voice was gentle, and it set you on edge.

“Sure.”

You stood awkwardly in the hallway, then he led you into the office. He leaned against his desk, and you shifted your feet where you stood, eyes on the floor, on the art on the walls, on anything other than him.

“You were upset today.” He started.

You swallowed.

“It won’t happen again, I promise.” you kept your voice steady. He paused.

“If that was my fault, I apologise. If I took it too far, if I upset you-”

You weren’t sure which part he was talking about, but you finally looked at him in a sort of distant defiance.

“Do you even care if I’m upset?”

“Of course I do. Especially when it’s something that affects you… publicly.”

You huffed, forcing yourself to stare him down.

“Because that’s all that matters, right? What the public sees?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Sure it is. It’s okay, Snow. I’m a big girl. And I can take a hint, too. So don’t worry about me, I’ll be just fine. Business as usual, right?”

He just stared, puzzled. You took a breath.

“Look, it’s been a long day. Can I go, or are you going to keep me here all night?”

The silence was like smoke, clouding between you. His brow furrowed, calculating. Then he sighed, long and heavy, and you tried not to let it phase you.

“Fine. Go.”

You nodded.

“Goodnight.”

You’d never been more relieved to get away from him. Your broken walls were starting to build back up. You wouldn’t let him break you, you couldn’t. You were stronger than this.

That night, for the first time, you couldn’t help but wonder if this was truly what you wanted.

“Darling, you look ravishing.” Lilian drawled. “It’s a pity Snow is so far across the room, and can’t appreciate you. If I dressed half as nicely as you did, perhaps my dear husband wouldn’t be screwing the maid.”

A scandalised chorus of giggles erupted from the group. It was a pretty dress, one of your best. Long and smooth black fabric, ruched at the waist, with a deep cut up the leg that was just acceptable for an evening gala. You stood tall, champagne glass in hand, gossiping with your friends.

Well.

Friends was being generous. You kept few true friends, and they would hardly be gossiping in a circle like this.

Acquaintances was a better fit. Pawns if you were being brutally honest. Politicians’ wives, senators’ mistresses, a chancellor’s daughter or two. Pieces of chess, really, in this bigger game. Anyone who could help you climb higher, whisper carefully spun words into open ears at your whim.

“I just know George would rip that dress off me the moment I got home. He might not even be able to wait, and just pull me into a closet here instead.”

Another eruption of giggles.

“Well, I’m flattered, my darlings.” You smiled. “This is one of my favorites. Coriolanus treats me well.”

“I’m sure he does,” a suggestive glance from Lilian, “in all the ways one would expect, I assume?”

You gasped in mock modesty.

“Lilian,” you drawled, “I certainly hope you’re not suggesting I disclose our-”

“Oh, just tell us dear, please. We’re all dying to know. You’re always so coy about it. What’s he like?”

You pulled your lips into a knowing smile, your perfectly painted face helping you slide into this facade. You scanned your eyes across the ballroom, across to Snow. He stood talking to a group of men, colleagues of his. You recognised their faces.

It had been four days since the luncheon. Four days since your outburst. Four days of hiding away. You’d been dreading tonight’s gala, but it gave you an excuse to dress nicely, and as soon as you’d arrived, you and Coriolanus has gone your separate ways.

“Well,” you hummed, masking your uncertainty as anticipation, “he can be a slight tease.”

A few dramatic gasps sounded through the group, and you turned back to face them, their eyes wide and expectant.

“Salacious. Do tell.” Another voice piped up with a giggle.

“He can be fun to toy with. I do enjoy pushing back, but sometimes he takes it… a little far.” You said carefully.

“My, who would have known? But you get what you want, my dear, surely.” Lilian asked.

You smiled, glancing back at him, suit pristine with a white rose in his breast pocket. You hated how good he looked. He was smiling politely at the group of men around him, but you could tell from the tick in his jaw that something was bothering him.

“Sometimes, I do. Others, I wait for my chance to push his buttons right back.”

“Oh, but where’s the fun in that? I don’t suppose,” she pressed, “that you’re in one of those… entanglements at the moment?”

“Lilian, darling, you know I don’t kiss and tell.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Another giggle sounded from the group.

“Oh, my.” Lilian repeated, glancing between the two of you. “I do hope you’ve been making him suffer.”

“Well, I’m playing a longer game this time, so I’m afraid there hasn’t been as much fun lately.”

Lilian sucked in a breath, like the perfect idea had just dawned on her.

“Well, I see no moment like the present. You’re here, you’re dressed marvellously, I propose you walk right over there and show him just what he’s missing.”

A chorus of yes and do it and we’ll cheer you ons rang out. Loosened by the champagne, you looked across the room at him again. You could do it. He wouldn’t be able to react, it would be the most perfect torture. You suddenly decided that you were done making small moves, done playing it safe like this was some schoolgirl crush. It was time to step up to the mark again. Take your power back.

Your group could sense the newfound determination in you. You smiled, slow and cunning.

Show him what he’s missing.

Simple. It’s what you did best.

“Watch and learn, ladies.”

A hush fell over the group as they watched you run a hand through your hair, handed your glass to one of them, and pressed your lips together. Before you’d left the house you’d added a swipe of red lipstick, dark red, almost bloodlike. It always made you feel more confident and tonight, you needed the pick me up.  

The middle of the ballroom was practically empty; the dancing was over, and everyone had long since gathered in groups to the sides. So you turned heads when you stepped out, the only one on the floor, black satin hugging your frame like a second skin. You didn’t look at them, you made a steady beeline to Snow. You felt more and more eyes on you as you crossed the room, heels clicking on the floor. They all watched, waiting for… something. Coriolanus didn’t look up until you were a mere few steps away, now deep in some conversation he was going to forget very shortly.

Blue eyes flashed to yours with a confused apprehension, but you didn’t give yourself time to think about the twitch of his brow, or the looks on the faces of his colleagues. You didn’t think about the way he opened his mouth as if to say something, only for it to be swallowed away.

You didn’t think about any of that.

Because your lips were on his.

Hot and hungry, teeth clashing, your hand grabbing the back of his neck as he leaned in, surprised at first, then warm, wanting. Lips tugging at yours like he was starving.

It was sinful.

You’d never been kissed like this before. Your fuzzy brain wondered how you’d gone through life not knowing what this felt like, the press of his lips devouring yours, heated and messy.

He kissed you like breathing, like you were his oxygen supply. His hand slid to your waist and pulled you in, and you heard the echoes of chuckling coming from around you, morphing into a few light claps.

Then, just as you felt him fully melt into you, your hand slipped higher to the nape of his neck, grabbing a fistful of perfect platinum curls, and tugged.

It was nothing but an affectionate display to the people surrounding you, but a brazen reminder between the two of you. It was your way of showing you hadn’t forgotten, that you wouldn’t be made to feel ashamed, to cower in a corner while he got the better of you.

Not in this lifetime.

The second it happened, his breath hitched, and his hand tensed on your waist. You were the only one who caught it, getting high off the satisfaction, finally pulling away.

You weren’t sure you’d ever seen a prettier sight; his blown-out eyes, his face stained with scarlet.  

How’s that for tasting your own medicine.

Watching him attempt to collect himself was sweeter still. Watching him reset his face into one of distant amusement. He let out a small laugh, glanced at the rest of the party.

“Everything alright, doll? Had a little much champagne, perhaps?”

His colleagues chuckled, but you didn’t look their way. You stood your ground. Offered a sweet smile, but he could see your slyness.

“Oh, I’m swell. And I think I’ve had just enough, actually. I’m gonna go freshen up.”

You turned on your heel and made your way through winding halls to the bathroom, riding an adrenaline high. You picked up a glass from a server’s tray along the way – the champagne had dried out, all they were serving now was posca, which while disgusting, worked a treat to take the edge off. It wasn’t long before the door swung open and you saw Coriolanus appear behind you in the mirror.

“This is the ladies’ room, handsome.” You looked away, continuing to reapply your lipstick.

He stepped closer.

“What was that kiss about, sweetheart?” Straight to the point.

“Nothing.” You shrugged.

“Didn’t feel like nothing.”

“That’s called acting, Snow.”  You rolled your eyes, vaguely aware that your words sounded a little jumbled. You put the tube of lipstick away. “We had an audience. A rather expectant one at that.”

He folded his arms.

“I don’t like it when you catch me off guard like that. Not with people around.”

“Seemed to like it plenty to me.” You mumbled.

He didn’t answer, pacing past you to the other sink, grabbing a towel and wiping it against his face, where the red had stained his skin. It only served to spread it around further, and if you weren’t already smugly entertained by the marks you’d left on him, now it was just plain funny.

He glared at you when you laughed.

“Don’t give me that look. Here,” you offered, stepping across to him, taking the towel and wetting it, “let me.”

You wiped at a patch, but he snatched the towel back and took over.

“No, you’re rubbing it too hard. It’s-” he glowered at you – “fine. Do it your way.”

You went back to lean against your sink and took another sip of posca, admiring the ornate decorations in the room. A little excessive, a little new money for your tastes.

There was a rap on the door.

“President Snow?”

“Just a minute.” He said coolly.

“You’re in a mood tonight.” You remarked, and he huffed.

“Running a country can get exhausting. Don’t expect you to understand.”

“Right.” You said flatly. “Because I’m just a brainless pawn like everybody else.”

He looked over at you, at the drink in your hand.

“How many of those have you had?”

You shrugged again, and he tossed the towel into the sink, walking over to you.

“Answer me.” His voice was stern, and for a second, you soaked it in, drenched in the danger as he approached, closing in. Your tongue slipped out to wet your lips, and your eyes followed his as he moved to stand in front of you.

“Shame you don’t have someone to let all that frustration out on, isn’t it? Sounds like that could be helpful.”

His eyes pierced yours.

“Doll-”

“I’m just saying, it’s a pity you don’t.” You moved to bring the glass to your lips, anticipating the burn in your throat, but he gently stopped your hand.

“Okay, that’s enough.”

“Posca? It’s my first glass.” You smiled, eyes batting.

“You know what I mean. I think you should stop.”

You looked at the glass, then back at him, and pried your hand away, slowly and pointedly taking another sip.

“Sweetheart.” He warned.

“What, are you punish me? Gonna make me beg for you then kick me out again? Already did that once.”

He gave an incredulous half-laugh.

“That’s what this is about? You’re not really going to be mad about that forever, are you?”

“That depends. How long is forever?”

The door knocked again, and he worked the glass out of your hand.

“Drink some water. Sober up. We’ll talk about this when we get home.”

You sighed, heading for the door, but glanced back at him, his face still a stained mess. You brushed a finger against your own cheek to mirror his.

“You missed a spot.”

You sat in silence in his office, feeling a little like a schoolchild caught misbehaving. His typing was the only sound in the room. The seat was low; almost as if it was there to point out his authority over anyone who sat in it. Knowing him, it probably was.

He’d managed to clean off the rest of your lipstick, but his face looked rubbed raw, uncomfortable. A tall glass of water sat on the desk in front of you.

“Thought you said we’d talk.”

“Not until you finish that glass. I’m not talking to you inebriated.”

“Seriously?”

He shot you a look from behind his typewriter.

“Fine. Whatever.” You reached for it and took a few sips. He looked back down again. A few folders cluttered the desk, and in your boredom, your eyes scanned them. They looked complicated; legal.

“What are you writing there anyway? Or am I too dumb to understand?”

He offered another unimpressed glance.  

“It’s a new bill I’m trying to pass. Except apparently, I’m the only one around here with their head screwed on enough to work on it.”

You waited as Snow pushed the typewriter’s lever, carriage sliding the page as he began writing the next line. You sipped your water.

He sighed. “One day I won’t have to mingle with these idiots anymore. They’ll just listen to me, and obey.”

You took that in.

“Do you feel that way about me?”

He studied you for a second, and stopped typing.  

“No. Not really.”

“But you wish I’d be more… compliant.” You stared at the floor.

“Not necessarily.”

“You sure? Didn’t seem to like it the other night.”

His eyes narrowed. Knowing this conversation was a game of chess like any other. But lately the stakes were higher than ever.

“Never said I didn’t like it. Just that you were out of line.”

“And where is that fucking line?” You snapped. “I’m serious, Snow, because we’ve never talked about it.”

“You want to talk, all of a sudden? Okay, sweetheart. Fire away.”

You put the glass down on the table, heavier than intended.

“I just don’t understand you, Coriolanus. I mean, first you don’t want me, then you do want me, then you don’t again. And now what? I don’t know what I’m supposed to think when you don’t give me anything to go off.”

He watched you carefully, and you wanted to shake him, to scream, anything that would give you answers. You stood, unable to sit still, and started pacing.

“You know what’s worse? I don’t even know if you want me here anymore. I don’t know how to act around you because I never know what you’re thinking. At first I thought all this, the whole push and pull, was just some control thing. But-” you laughed, airy and insane, “you know what I realised? You’ve had me fooled, Snow. All this time I thought we were equals, but now I think I finally realise.”

He frowned, waiting for you to continue.

“You pay for my company, if you think about it. We trade services, don’t we? You get something from me, I get something back. I live in your house, eat your food, wear nice clothes. At the end of the day, that’s just it, isn’t it?”

“What?”

You shrugged, tears filling your eyes as bitterness took over, so strong you could almost taste it.  

“I’m no better than a whore myself.”

You’d never heard a louder silence. If that hadn’t just taken everything out of you, you’d have begged him to say something. Instead, you just stared, eyes blurry with tears, as he seconds seemed to stretch into minutes, and you gave up trying to read his mind, because his expression was indecipherable.  

After what felt like hours, he took a long breath.

“Sit down.”

You glanced at the floor, then took a step towards your chair. He stopped you.

“Not there. Here.” He nodded at the desk in front of him, and you swallowed thickly, stepping around the desk, getting awfully close to him, and pulling yourself onto the desk, legs pressed together. He stood, looking down at you. 

“That’s really what you think of yourself?” He asked, voice steady and controlled.

You kept your eyes averted.

“Am I wrong?”

He lifted a hand and brushed his fingertips against your jaw, tipping your head up to look at him. And when you looked at his eyes, you knew exactly what he was feeling. He wasn’t hurt, or upset.

He was mad.

“Tell me something. What do you think I’d do if I heard someone talking about you that way?

“I don’t-”

“I’d have them executed. And you expect me to stand by and let you talk about yourself like that?”

You felt a tear spill down your cheek.

“I don’t know, Coriolanus, you tell me. Am I disposable to you?”

“Of course not."

“But you’d replace me if I left.”

“What makes you think I’d let you leave in the first place?”

A chill caressed your spine.

“That’s right. I’m keeping you here, doll. If I made you doubt that, I apologise. But you’re no whore. Though sometimes, I…” He trailed off.

“What?”

His eyes were on your lips again, hungry. You wondered how someone could switch from distant to depraved and wanting this quickly.

“Sometimes I wish you were. Because it’d make it a lot easier for me to take what I want. If you were, then I’d have no hesitation in ripping your clothes off right here. Fucking you on my desk, or up against the wall, not caring if you cum. Not caring if you enjoy it. If you were a whore, I’d have fucked you in every room in this house, twice over. I wouldn’t let you sleep.”

His hand was on your thigh, the now-creased fabric of your dress crumpling as it slid up. You weren’t sure when your eyes had fallen shut, your hot breath mixing with his as his thumb rubbed against your skin.

Your voice was pathetically quiet.

“Then why don’t you?”

He sighed, tone shifting into something tense, something you could cut through with a knife.

“Because you’re fucking impossible, you know that? I can barely think when you’re around. I don’t know where the games begin or end. I don’t… I don’t understand this power you have over me. I thought you knew, you must know that you’re under my skin. I don’t know if you’ll ever stop playing with me. It drives me fucking insane.”

You opened your eyes, hand gripping his wrist and pulling it from your thigh. You slid off the desk and took a step away from him.

“You think I’m playing with you? The only time you pay an ounce of attention to me is when you’re trying to fuck with my head, Snow. I said my piece, you heard me and you still didn’t care. So please, for both our sakes, stop torturing me. Just… come find me when you decide you want me again, okay? Let’s leave it at that.”

You made for the door, which you slammed with such an impressive force that it even took you aback.

You replayed his words in your head that night until you fell into a deep sleep, and when you woke, you felt like your dreams made more sense than he did.

“Tigris!” you exclaimed, catapulting into the blonde’s arms. The people who stood scattered around you in the manor’s large ballroom spun their heads around at your display. A few even dodged to the side as the momentum that you’d built running down the stairs nearly knocked her over.

A few days of silent glances and fewer exchanged words had passed. And now, you were just happy to be hosting in the comfort of your own home, and to finally see Tigris again. You wondered if she noticed how you hugged her, if she wondered - like you did - if you’d ever let go.

“I’m so happy you’re here. How’s your Grandma’am?”

“She’s quite well, she’s sorry she couldn’t make it. You look beautiful as ever. It’s been too long!”

“I know! I don’t think I’ve seen you since your birthday, which makes me the worst friend ever.” You groaned, scrunching up your face in shame.

“It’s okay! I know busy Coriolanus keeps you with all these functions. You must be going out of your mind by now. How are you holding up?”

The two of you walked to the edge of the room, where prying eyes had settled down after your greeting.

You looked at Snow, stood across the ballroom, dressed in a pristine suit with a champagne glass in hand, talking to yet another group of men who worked for him – ministers and such, a little higher ranking than the group from the other night – and spared you the occasional glance. As if he was keeping tabs on you. It wasn’t long before Tigris caught on and politely inquired.

“I don’t understand him, Tigris. I think he hates me.” You sighed.

“What? No, he could never. He has a soft spot for you, really, and I have it on good authority.”

“I’m not so sure anymore. I think I’ve pushed it a little far this time. I think… maybe we both did. I’m in uncharted waters, here.”

“Look, I know I don’t know all the ins and outs of how this thing between you works, but I don’t think he could ever hate you for doing anything. Coryo – I mean, Coriolanus, he does care, contrary to popular belief. It’s just that his way of showing it can get a little…”

“Fucked?” You offered, and she laughed.

“Yes, exactly. Now, I’m not going to lie to you and say that he’s an angel on earth, he’s had to do things to get to where he is now. Things that even I don’t know the extent of, and they’ve… changed him.”

You rarely got the chance to speak with Tigris alone these days, with Snow usually playing chaperone, or keeping one or the both of you busy, but it had always been easy to slide right back into conversation with her like you’d never been apart.

You’d first met Tigris at a Plinth gala years ago, on the same day you’d met Snow. The two of you had talked and laughed and she had an easiness around her, she wasn’t shallow and judgemental like a lot of the girls you’d grown up with, though you never knew why until many months later. Snow had placed a large wall between his life before the Plinth endorsement, and after. Few people knew the conditions he’d grown up in, but after countless hours with Tigris, you’d begun to assemble small pieces. Despite your closeness with her, you knew from her warnings that Snow had a sort of temper when it came to this topic, so you approached it with caution.

“Changed him how?” You inquired, finally.

“Well… It wasn’t always fancy balls and lunches with him. It never was, with any of us, as you know, but especially for him. He’s… had a different experience. Grandma’am and I, we’ve known hard times, but we haven’t seen what he’s seen. Not even close.”

“What kind of things?”

She glanced over her shoulder, making sure nobody was hovering.

“He’d kill me for telling you.”

“You know I won’t say a word. But you don’t have to tell me, if it’s too much to ask.”

 She took in a breath, and sipped her drink, voice dropping to a whisper.

“This stays between us, okay? Coriolanus has… been out there. In the districts, I mean. Before all this. And I can’t go into detail, he’d have my head if I…”

You swallowed.

“The districts? But… why? I don’t-”

“Tigris, lovely to see you, it’s been so long.” A male voice interrupted, and you quickly excused yourself, slipping away to let the two of them talk.

After mulling it over in your head and making small talk with a few more guests, you snuck out of a side door and into the hallways, winding upstairs until you were finally met with Snow’s bedroom door. The sound of voices and music a mere echo below you, you pushed tentatively, and stepped inside. It was strange, being in there alone, for the first time since he’d turned you away. But you paced the floor, looking for something, anything, that would answer the questions you had. Why the districts? Why couldn’t Tigris tell you what had happened there?

Glancing back at the door, you began thumbing through his closet, peeking inside drawers. You’d already given his room a once over, but you worked more meticulously this time, every corner you unsuccessfully turned over only fuelling your curiosity. You walked around the room again, getting frustrated.

You headed back to the door, scanning the place, and retraced your steps a third time. Knocking a little on cupboards and anything that appeared the slightest bit odd or out of place. It was a perpetually tidy room, neat as ever, save for the desk which contained folders you were sure weren’t for your eyes, but that didn’t stop you. You kept on, trying your best not to leave any stone unturned, and most importantly, trying not to move anything out of place.

Eventually, you moved to the smaller desk drawers again, rifling through them haphazardly, annoyed by the lack of evidence you were finding. One of the two drawers had very little inside it, just a pencil and a pocket dictionary, and as you pushed your hand further inside to feel for anything else, you noticed it felt smaller than the first. Shallower. When you knocked, it was hollow.

It had a false bottom.

Your father used to keep his cigars beneath one of these when you were growing up, so you knew what to look for. You felt around the edge until you touched a small, metal handle, then emptied the drawer, hooked your fingers into the handle and pulled. You frowned at first, there was less in the hidden compartment than there was above it. But you peered inside, and there lay two items: an old photograph, and a silver dog tag.

Suddenly, it all made sense. His efficiency, his drive, his orderliness.

Military. The districts. The dog tag.

You unfolded the photograph, caked in a layer of dust, and it hit you like a ton of rocks.  

Coriolanus was a peacekeeper.

But why? When? And why keep it a secret?

In the photograph, his hair was buzzed, and he was in a uniform you recognised immediately; if only because of the annual reaping ceremony shown in every building in the Capitol. He was standing next to a boy with dark hair, also buzzed. You recognised him as Sejanus Plinth, you’d never met the kid but you’d been to his funeral with your family, and had seen enough pictures to know.

You knew that the Plinth family had backed Coriolanus’ education, that he became their new heir, a protégé of sorts, but not that he’d been friends with their son. Not that they’d been this close, at least. They weren’t smiling in the photo, stood pin straight and alert in what looked like barracks.  

You folded the photograph and placed it back where you found it. Your hands lingered on the dog tag, though, despite the logical side of your brain screaming at you to put it back, leave the room and pretend you didn’t see this. But the louder part egged you on as you pulled it out of the drawer, examining the engraved words, running your hands over the name SNOW and, further down, DISTRICT 12.

You’d heard bedtime stories from your mother while growing up, about the war, the Hunger Games and why they existed, and why it was never safe to set foot in the districts, not even the richer ones.

They’re beneath us, she’d said. They’re dangerous. Barbaric. And 12 was notoriously the poorest, most dangerous of them all.

Coriolanus had now become more of an enigma to you than ever before, and a thousand new questions flooded your head.

You closed the drawer halfway, holding the chain, pulling out a chair in front of the mirror to sit down. You turned the tag over in your hands, as if it would start giving you the answers, if only you looked hard enough.

Why was he sent to 12? Why couldn’t he talk about it?

Despite the conditions Snow grew up in, there was respect behind his family name. It didn’t make sense why someone of his social standing and education would leave to be a peacekeeper, of all things, and in 12, of all places. A strange sort of pity filled you, wondering what he could’ve seen out there. What he could’ve done. It all drew you in as you got lost in a world of what ifs.

Despite yourself, you pushed your hair from your neck, and as if in a trance, wrapped the chain around it. It fell heavy and cold against your skin, sending a chill through your bones. You were so busy staring down at it, so lost in thought that you barely noticed the sound of the door pushing open. Or the floorboards lightly creaking. Or his reflection in the mirror. You didn’t notice any of that, until the door swung shut with a bang.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Coriolanus had had a long day, most of which he’d spent simmering over work and you. He’d kept his eye on you that evening; on the way you’d thrown yourself into Tigris’ arms, and talked, transfixed, and he hated not knowing what was being said. A strange feeling set in as he saw the two of you get deeper into conversation from the other side of the large room, a deep-seated uneasiness stirring him up as he drowned out the tales of his associates’ incompetence. It felt like a breath of relief when he sent someone your way to interrupt whatever talk you were having, pretending that Tigris had been looking for him earlier. He focused on your brief tour of the room when the distraction worked, eyes flitting around like you were preoccupied.

When he saw you dart away from the ballroom and up one of the stairwells, he followed you as soon as he got the chance.

He’d wondered if you might act up today, but this wasn’t what he was expecting. When he saw you, the all too familiar glint of silver around your pretty neck, something shifted in him. Something he’d done a very, very good job of keeping at bay during his first few years of presidency.

Rage.

Your eyes met his in the mirror.

“Coriolanus, I-”

His hands were on you before you could finish your sentence, hauling you out of the chair, fingers wrapped in a death grip around your arms, squeezing as he pushed you to the wall with a satisfying thud.

“What, you can explain? I highly doubt that.”

“I’m sorry, I just-” You gasped as he squeezed tighter, gripping your wrists.

“Do you even know what this means?” He seethed, dog tag pressed between his fingers, chain pulling at your neck.

The forest. The birds. The gunshots that deafened him for weeks.

“I didn’t know… I’m sorry. I never knew you were a peacekeeper, Coryo, I-” He flinched, saw the way you winced the second it passed your lips.

Snow may have been cold, but his eyes were fire. And you were only stoking it.

“So I’m Coryo now? Who the fuck told you call me that? Was it Tigris? I saw you talking to her, don’t lie to me.”

“No.” You shook your head. “She didn’t tell me anything, I promise. Please. It was just me.”

He moved in closer, eclipsing you altogether, grip on the chain so tight he was certain you’d be able to feel it pinching the back of your neck, digging a mark into your flesh. He let the sadistic part of his brain take delight in it, in the way your eyes widened, face pleading.

Whatever this game was between you, you’d gone too far this time.

“How did you find this?” He snapped.

You were crowded against the wall, unable to move. Tears started to brim, and you didn’t answer, he wasn’t sure you could. You just shook your head over and over, repeating I’m sorry like a broken record.

“Take this off. Now. Take it off.” He ordered, dropping it back to your chest, stepping away a little so you could lift your shaking arms over your head, removing the chain. He snatched it from you, gripping it in his palm, looking down at it, and you breathed out in relief.

“I didn’t mean to… I was just looking. I had so many questions. I didn’t know what I’d find.”

“And? Are you fucking satisfied now?” His voice chilled you to the bone as he looked up at you again.

You shook your head. Apologised again. Wished you could apologise in any way that would matter, but it was too late. You’d never been more afraid in your life, anticipating what might happen, remembering echoes of rumors you’d heard, of Snow poisoning his enemies, of sending them to hang. Some you knew to be true, but others you boiled down to rebel gossip.

Now, you weren’t so sure. These were the eyes of a man who’d dropped his mask, and it was like staring into a dark void. You could get lost in it, and never find your way back.

“Please. Don’t… I won’t tell anyone, I promise. You can trust me.”

He scoffed.

Stupid girl. Hadn’t you learned by now, that trust meant nothing?

“Like I trusted you in here? I don’t think so. Can’t believe you had me feeling sorry for you. Probably just made it up so you could lower my guard then turn around and stick your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

“I didn’t, Coriolanus, I swear.” You pleaded. You were crying, tears slipping down your cheeks.

“I’ve been very patient with you, little girl. But this is where I draw the line. You have no idea how far you’ve pushed me. And you don’t even realise it, you’re so caught up in your little crush. Do you know how easy I’ve been going on you? The things I’ve let you get away with… I’ve killed people for much less.”

“You’ve…” You trailed off, barely hearing your own words, barely processing a thing. He laughed, low and dark.

“Does that scare you, sweetheart? Does it make you afraid?”

Eyes frozen open, you just stared. You felt your jaw go slack.

“Good.”  

Coriolanus toed an invisible line, one that had never been crossed before. You wanted him to show you he wanted you? Fine.

He looked down at the chain wrapped around his fist, but he didn’t pocket it, or place it to the side. He unwound it, and slowly pulled it over his own neck.

Your eyes dropped to where it sat in stark contrast, heavy and shining, garish against his fancy dress shirt. You felt your blood run cold.

“Get on your knees.” You heard him say. Your eyes darted back up.

“What?”

When he spoke, it sounded like someone else was talking. Someone you didn’t know at all.

“You heard me. Get on your fucking knees. Right now.”

What could you do? This was what you’d wanted. Just… not like this. Not when your hands were shaking in fear, and you had no idea what this Coriolanus was capable of.

Your head said yes; your heart wept. But you were far past listening to your sorry heart.

So, you obeyed. Legs all but giving in as you lowered yourself to the ground, knees meeting cold hardwood as the chill cut through your dress.

His fingers slipped under one of the straps.

“Take this off, baby.” He murmured, distant, like he wasn’t all there. Your head hung in shame, eyes on his feet as you pushed the straps from your shoulder, top half of the dress falling down. You heard his zipper slide down, and you shivered. No longer sure if it was in fear or anticipation.

“Head up. Look at me. Good,” he said, when you obliged, “now let’s see what this pretty mouth’s really good for, shall we?”

More tears welled up as his hand brushed your jaw, hooking a thumb to your bottom lip, pushing your mouth open. You couldn’t help the way your tongue grazed over it, tasting salt, whining when you realised it was the taste of your own tears. When your eyes fell open again, you finally caught a look at him, hard and tip weeping, and your brain filled with nothing but want, eclipsing your fear for a mere second, enough to bring Coriolanus to the ground again. He may have done terrible, unspeakable things, but he was still a man. A man who wanted you.

And why did that make your heart beat out of your chest? It thrummed like a hummingbird as you took in the sight of him, unbuttoning his shirt as he waited for you to move.

You’d seen how big he was from a distance. You’d felt him between layers of fabric, and you’d imagined this a million times over. But now, as he stood waiting in front of you, you hesitated, because it all finally felt real. Your mouth watered despite yourself, seeing the mess he’d already made, any more and he’d start dripping -

“Go on, sweetheart. It’s not gonna suck itself.”

Your eyes squeezed shut as you let him past your lips. The heady taste of precum filled your mouth as you ran your tongue along the shaft slowly, trying to start steady. He wasn’t having it. His hand twisted through your hair, pulling you in closer, making you gag a little. You instinctively lifted a hand up to his thigh to brace yourself, and he laughed.

“Giving up so soon? Thought you’d try harder than that.”

He pushed further, and the indignant sound you made as you adjusted only served to spur him on.

You tried to focus on breathing through it, but he slipped in and out your mouth unevenly, and faster than you could think, catching you off guard. He looked down at the way your mouth struggled to take his length as if you were a piece of art, like he was mesmerised by it, and that feeling was encouragement was enough to keep you going. His hand twisted harder in your hair, making a fist, and he swore when you hummed in discomfort.

“Look at you.” He said, strung-out and shaky. “You strut right in here from your silver spoon life, and think you can call the shots? You’ve bitten off more than you can chew, sweetheart. You have no fucking idea what the world is really like. What people are like. What they have to do to survive.”

He moved faster, and you let your jaw go slack. You were barely moving now, he was starting to fuck your throat like he owned it. You’d started to cry again, and when you looked up at him, it was a blur. The furthest you could see was his chest, shirt unbuttoned and falling to the sides, and the dog tag, silver catching in the low light, swinging against his chest as he moved. You closed your eyes again, trying to go somewhere else in your head. Trying to breathe through your nose, to focus on being used, on how good you were making him feel, on finally being his. It was all you had left to hold on to.

But he was unwinding you with his words, knowing just where to press to make it sting, to make the tears fall harder.

“You don’t have any fucking shame about it either. Touching yourself on my bed and wearing my clothes, like you’re – fuck, that’s it - like we’re married or something. Like you’re worth more than everyone else. But look at you. Maybe you were right after all. Maybe you are my whore.” he gritted out.

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you tried desperately to catch your breath between sobs.  

“I mean, you sure look like it now, on your knees for me, making a mess of your pretty face. So fucking good. You’re sucking me off better than she did, and you’re barely even trying.”

You hated it. Hated the way his thumb brushed painfully gently against your cheek, dusting away a tear as his cock bruised the back of your throat and you tried not to gag around him. Hated the way his words twisted around in your head, and how fucked up it was that your broken brain took it as praise instead of punishment.

Most of all, you hated the throb between your shaking legs, panties soaked through and probably ruined. Humiliation seeped through you as you imagined it dripping down your legs and onto the floor. Your salty tears spilled down your face, mixing with your spit and his precum. Hating every second, until your head went blank, and you didn’t feel much of anything anymore.

You weren’t sure exactly how it happened.

One second, he was pulling your hair, twitching in your mouth and spilling down your throat, and the next, in what felt like a flash, you were on the floor, loud, wrecked sobs spilling out of you as you held your knees to your chest, face hidden. He was on the floor too - when did he get down? - and his voice was soft, oh so soft and gentle, saying something you couldn’t quite make out, dull and repetitive past your ringing ears.

“- so sorry. I’m so sorry, baby. I know I - I didn’t… I took it too far. Can you hear me, sweetheart? Look at me. Please, look at me. I’m right here.”

You pulled your head from your hands, and through blurred eyes, you looked at him.

This wasn’t a face you’d seen on him before. His brows knitted, lips apart as he stared at you, like you were some wounded animal he wanted to save.

“Talk to me, sweetheart. Please.”

“I can’t…” You trailed off.

“You can tell me.”

Another wave of choked back sobs took over you. He held your jaw up like you were something breakable. Like maybe you’d broken already, and he was holding you together.

“I can’t do this.” You whispered. “Not like-”

He nodded, brushing a tear from your cheek.

“Okay. It’s okay, baby. Tell me what I can do for you. Just say the word.”

You caught your breath, and he flinched a little as you collapsed into his arms. The cool metal of the dog tag pressed into your cheek.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.” You cried.

“I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t realise how far I’d pushed you until… I know I can’t make it up to you, but I’ll try. Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it. If you want to leave, I understand. I’ll make the arrangements.”

“What? No, that’s not…”

He cut you off, looking into your eyes.

“Decide tomorrow, okay doll? You don’t have to think about that now.”

“I didn’t know about… about the districts.” You hiccupped. “About you. You didn’t want me to know. I ruined everything, I-”

“Listen to me. It doesn’t matter anymore, I promise you. It’s okay, baby.”

You nodded into his chest.

“Here.” He leaned away from you, and you looked up in a question. He took the chain from his neck and placed it in your palm.

“You can have it. So long as nobody sees. You can throw it away, wear it around the house, whatever you want. It’s yours.”

You pressed it between your fingers. It cooled your hot skin like a salve.

“Thank you.” You whispered. Your head sank back onto his chest, and when you spoke again, it was barely audible.

“Coryo?”

He tensed for a second, but relaxed again just as quickly.

“Yeah?”

“Can I stay with you tonight?”

His hand brushed gently against your hair, and you relaxed into it.

“Of course you can.”

a/n: baby's first dubcon scene!! (screams cries and throws up bc navigating that was scary as fuck) p.s one more chapter left!! do we think they'll get their shit together?? who knows!! (i know)

taglist: @superchatnoir07 @itsrainingreid @nycweb-slinger @lookclosernow @etfrin @resibunn @serving-targaryen-realness @harmfulb1tch @demonsnangels @superb-icarus @julesandro @gracieroxzy @slyhersophia @shadowsepiphany @ben-has-arrived @unclecrunkle @zerotwo-sciencequeen @itsleniiilosers @thesiriusmap @ooooglymoooogly @darkqweenn @going-through-shit @loverw1tch @stinkii-boii @tqmqkii @not-avery @natsgf @sleepysongbirdsings @hopebaker @darknight3904 @pemberlystateofmind @bxtchopolis @real-lana-del-rey @24kmar @louweasleymalfoy @m1ndbrand @coconut-dreamz @cosmicgyral @urfavevirgoo @mk15x @theamuz @ashy-kit @violante777 @snowlandstop @badbleep88

(more tags in the reblogs/comments)

if you’d like to be tagged, pls comment on the series masterlist (helps me keep track of everyone!!) 💌

[thelostboys11]

The Lost Boys x Werewolf M! reader

The Lost Boys x Werewolf M! reader pt. 1

Word count: 814

Warnings: none that I can think of

A/N: I know this sucks, I'm not gonna lie. I really tried my best but this isn't that good.

You were new to Santa Carla. You thought that Santa Carla would be the best place to live as a werewolf since it was the murder capital of the world. You could get away with things a bit more than where you used to live.

Santa Carla had lots of entertainment and some of the food you enjoy. The majority of it was a plus. The only thing that you didn't seem to like that much was how many people were there. Everything would be fine if they just mind their own business and left you alone.

The first night you were free after moving to Santa Carla you decided to go out to the board walk. You wanted to see what there was and you wanted something to entertain you.

You spent the night going from ride to ride and eating some of the food that the boardwalk had to offer. You were having a good time on the boardwalk. You made a good decision coming to the board walk that night.

That was all until you smelled something. Something you hadn't smelled all night until then. You didn't know where it was coming from. You decided to not worry about it but you were still a bit on edge.

You started to wander on the board walk without an idea of where you were going. The smell worried you and you didn't know why. You just wanted to get away from the smell.

But it seemed to follow you. No matter where you went on the board walk, you could still smelled it. Where ever the smell was coming from, probably wasn't something but someone.

You decided to sit somewhere on the board walk to rest. You tried to stop thinking about the smell but it kept coming back to you. And that worried you.

You were sitting there on the board walk, watching people on the board walk go by. A bit ago you notice a few guys that seemed to be looking in your direction. You tried to not let it bother you, but they kept looking.

At one point one of them started walking in your direction. That's when the smell was getting closer. That's when you realized that they're what the smell was coming from. There was something off about them. They definitely weren't human and they definitely weren't what you were.

"Hey cutie," The guy said, sitting next to you. "How ya doin'?"

"I'm fine," you responded, looking away, wanting him to just leave you alone.

"Why're you lookin away from me? You don't want me to see you blush, cutie?" He replied, trying to get your attention on him again.

"Why are you calling me cutie? I don't even know who the hell you are!" you told him, honestly kid of annoyed and a bit nervous.

"Oh, come on, cutie. Don't be like that." He said, getting closer.

You get up from the table and start to walk away. The guy gets up too and follows beside you.

"Please leave me alone," You groaned.

"C'mon, at least get to know me first," he said, putting his arm around your shoulder. "And by the way, my name's Paul."

"Well, Paul, I would like you to leave me alone. I can tell that you're up to no good and I don't want to be apart of it," You responded, annoyed.

"Maybe you'll say otherwise whe-" Paul started before he was interrupted by another guy.

"Paul, I'll take it from here. You're just making him uncomfortable," The second guy said, with two other guys not far behind him.

"Who are you guys? What do you want from me?" You asked nervously.

"I'm David. We just want to get to know you, darling" David said, getting closer. He made you blush a bit.

"O-okay," You replied, trying not to make eye contact.

"Hi, I'm Marko! This here is Dwayne," The short, blonde haired guy blurted. Dwayne gave a small wave.

"What's your name, darling?" David asked.

"My name is Y/n," You answered.

"Well, Y/n. Would you like to come back to our place with us?" David asked.

"Um, sure I guess," You responded. Marko grabbed your hand and lead you too their bikes.

"C'mon. Hop on!" Marko said getting on his bike. You got on the bike with Marko and put your arms around his stomach area.

Not too long later you all arrived at a cave. You all got off the bikes and started to head down to the entrance of the cave.

"How are you feeling, pup?" Dwayne asked, putting his arms around your waist causing you to start blushing.

"I-I'm good," You mumbled.

Dwayne then brought you over to a couch that was in cave. He sat down and then sat you down next to him. Paul sat down on the other side of you.

[princesse-de-ravenclaw]

Champagne Problems (ii)

summary: Y/N Y/L/N has everything: a wealthy family, a famous last name, and the most eligible bachelor in the wizarding community as her soon to be husband. What happens when she’s reunited with a forbidden friend from the past?

tw: angst if you squint??

word count: 5,015

The next few weeks passed by dreadfully slowly, but eventually, September 1st rolled around and it was finally time for Y/N to go back to school. She was excited for the school year, but she had a lot on her mind. Once she boarded the train, Y/N passed compartment after compartment, waving hello to friends, but deciding to keep going until she found one that was empty. She shared a dorm with three other girls, this was going to be the last alone-time she got until Christmas. Her alone-time was short lived, however, when a knock came on the door to her cart and a familiar face showed itself through the window. Y/N smiled as Sirius opened the compartment door. “Need some company?” he he asked with a smirk. “I suppose I could handle that,” Y/N smiled and motioned for him to sit down.

“Don’t you have a group of friends to sit with?” Y/N asked as Sirius made himself comfortable. “Don’t you?” he quipped, raising and eyebrow. “I suppose. But I don’t always sit with the same group of people on every trip, either,” Y/N shrugged. “And here I thought you stopped paying attention to me in first year,” Sirius waggled his eyebrows playfully. “Trust me,” Y/N laughed, “I did. But your group has quite the reputation.” “Anyway, I dunno. I didn’t see any of them. Either I’m the first one on, or they’re farther down the line and if that’s the case, I’ll see them when we get to school,” Sirius shrugged. “How was the rest of your summer?” he asked. “Boring. Stressful. Otherwise, uneventful. How was yours?” she answered honestly. “It was pretty good, actually. I third-wheeled with Lily and James a lot, but we saw some really cool films, took a trip out to the beach, and then Mr. and Mrs. Potter went out of town so we had the whole house to ourselves, it was cool,” Sirius smiled fondly as he described the adventures he shared with his friends, and for a moment, Y/N wished she could have been there, too.

“Oi! There you are! We’ve been looking for you for-oh, hello,” James exclaimed as he and Lily barged into the compartment. “Um, hi,” Y/N smiled politely. “Y/N, right?” James asked. “Yeah. You’re James, and I’m guessing you’re Lily?” Y/N replied. “That’s us,” Lily smiled. “Pardon my boyfriend being rude, but do you mind if we sit with you?” Lily asked, nudging James who had already taken a seat. “Oh, shit, sorry,” James replied quickly. “Oh! Of course, please,” Y/N motioned to the seats and Sirius hopped up from his spot across from Y/N and moved over so he was sitting next to her. Lily took the window seat opposite Y/N and James sat next to her, slinging his arm around her shoulders. An awkward silence settled over the four teens for a few minutes. “So, Y/N, how do you know Sirius?” Lily spoke up. “Oh, we grew up together. Our parents are close,” Y/N answered. “Oh,” Lily tried to hide her confusion. “We sort of fell out during first year because of.. um... I don’t know, my parents stopped liking him,” Y/N explained. “Hey, don’t feel too bad,” Sirius nudged her, “My parents stopped liking me around first year, too,” he joked, easing the tension and getting everyone to laugh.

“Bloody hell, you guys! I’ve been looking for you all morning!” A short boy with poorly styled hair opened the door to the compartment. “Wormtail! Nice of you to join us, mate!” James exclaimed, patting the open seat next to him. “I’m sorry, did you just call him a worm?” Y/N asked incredulously. “It’s an inside joke. That’s Peter. Pete, this is Y/N,” Sirius introduced them, and Peter seemed to see Y/N for the first time. “Oh!” he exclaimed, “Hello!” “Nice to meet you,” Y/N smiled at him and then glanced out the window. Definitely no alone time on this train ride. But it could be fun. Sirius has just been telling her about all the good times he had with these people, maybe Y/N would have a good time with them as well. Just a few minutes later, the whistle blew and the train was on its way to Hogwarts.

The train rolled on, and the teens chatted amongst themselves, catching up on what they had done over the summer. Y/N remained quiet, unless to answer a question. She felt nervous, for some reason, to be around Sirius’s friends. They were nice, and even funny, but Y/N couldn’t help but feel out of place. After about an hour and a half, the compartment door opened. “These prefect meetings get more and more boring every-oh, hello, Y/N,” Remus said as he plopped down in the seat next to Sirius. “Hi, Remus,” Y/N smiles politely. “You two know each other?” Sirius asked incredulously. “Yeah, we’ve had classes together. Last year we were paired together in advanced potion making,” Remus shrugged. “Well I’ll be damned,” James laughed. “I do talk to other people outside of you lot, you know,” Remus taunted. “You’re kidding! Since when are we allowed to have other friends?” James asked dramatically, earning laughs from all of the teens. And so they joked, and laughed the whole way to the school; and while Y/N felt like she was intruding on their time together, the marauders had already begun accepting her as one of their own.

-

After the sorting ceremony, Y/N went straight to her dorm- the first feast of the year always left her exhausted, she suspected it was all the rich food in her belly. She planned to change into her most comfortable pajamas and curl up with Desdemona before drifting off into a much needed sleep. Y/N was almost able to go through with her plan, too, but what she hadn’t accounted for was that her roommates would also skip the festivities and come straight to the dorm as well, eager to hear all about Y/N’s engagement party. “Y/N, Y/N!” they exclaimed. “We looked for you at dinner but we couldn’t find you, you have to tell us all about the engagement party!” her roommate, Ellie, exclaimed. “Did Amelia Rosehart really design your dress?” Dawn asked. “Let us see the ring!” Cynthia squealed. “It was very nice,” Y/N started. “Amelia did design my dress, and styled my hair and makeup. I looked like a completely different person. We just answered a lot of questions about the wedding plans and had dinner, and then everyone left and Peter and I had a good talk,” she explained.

“I can’t believe you’re marrying Peter Williams, you’re living my dream,” Dawn declared as she plopped into her bed. “Isn’t he so wonderful? Is he funny? I always imagined him being funny,” she gushed. “He’s nice, yeah. And I dunno, I suppose he’s moderately funny. I’ve met funnier people,” Y/N shrugged, “But then again we didn’t talk that much.” “What about the ring? The ring!” Ellie reminded her. “Oh, right. Here you go,” Y/N held her left hand out for the girls to inspect, and Dawn nearly fell out of her bed trying to leap over to see the ring. It was massive, honestly. In the center, there was a large, oval shaped diamond. Around that, there was a small band of emeralds outlining the diamond, and then smaller circular diamonds around the gold band. Y/N felt ridiculous wearing it at school, but her parents insisted she wear it. They believed it would show everyone how well off the family was going to be.

“Was it his grandmothers?” Cynthia asked excitedly. “His great-grandmother’s, and then his grandmother’s, and then his mother’s,” Y/N told them. “Merlin’s beard, it must go back to the 1800s!” Dawn cried. “1897, yeah. His great-grandfather had it custom made for his great-grandmother, and then they passed it down the line of the oldest siblings in the family,” Y/N confirmed. “Godric, it’s nearly a hundred years old and it looks brand new!” Ellie’s exclaimed. “Every time it got passed down it was repaired, plus they expect me to have it cleaned every eight weeks,” Y/N couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “And the party, was it extravagant?” Cynthia asked. “It was.. tasteful. The whole mansion was decorated, and we had a team of chefs come in from France, the food was magnificent, by the way, and yeah.. It was good,” Y/N nodded. “Godric, Y/N, you are so lucky!” Ellie yawned as she climbed into her bed. “I suppose I am,” Y/N agreed as she picked up Desdemona and snuggled up in her blankets. Desdemona’s purrs soon lulled Y/N into a much needed sleep.

The next day, Y/N woke up before her dorm mates to have a shower before the day officially started. She liked the girls, she really did, but she was in no mood to talk more about the Williamses or the party. She returned to her dorm and got ready as quietly as possible before slipping out at heading down to the great hall for breakfast. She passed Sirius and James as she walked in, and she and Sirius exchanged smiles and small waves before she found an empty table to sit at to have a quiet breakfast. Thoughts of her future tangled with thoughts of her upcoming classes, and as Y/N looked down at her empty bowl, she realized that she had forgotten to even taste her oatmeal. She supposed it didn’t matter, it was time to head to her first lesson anyway. She grabbed an apple to snack on later, and made her way to the Transfigurations classroom.

Y/N took a seat in the middle of the classroom and let her thoughts consume her while she had a little while before the lesson started. She was ripped away from her thoughts when the chair next to her scraped across the floor. “This seat taken?” Y/N was surprised to find Sirius holding onto the chair next to hers. “Uh, it is now. Please, sit,” Y/N answered with a smile. Y/N hadn’t had a class with Sirius in a few years, she suspected because he tended to slack off whereas she was one of the top students of their year. “Well imagine that, I put in a little extra effort last year and got moved up into the class with the smart people,” Sirius laughed as he set his belongings down. “Yeah, see what happens when you actually put that brain in there to use,” Y/N teased, lightly tapping on his forehead. At the table behind them, Lily raised an eyebrow and looked to James questioningly. James just shrugged in response.

-

Y/N’s next class was charms, where she took a seat next to Dawn, and was saved by professor Flitwick’s speech cutting off any questions Dawn could have asked. The class itself was pretty uneventful, as Flitwick somehow got distracted and ended up telling the class about his entire summer, instead of starting an actual lesson. When the class ended, Y/N elected to wander the halls for a little bit instead of going straight to her next lesson. She had learned last year that if she was the first to arrive to class, Professor Binns would trap her in a horrendously boring story that conveniently would not end until it was time for class to start. So, she took her time, strolling into the History of Magic classroom just before the door shut signaling for class to begin. Her eyes scanned the room for a place to sit, and she was pleasantly surprised to see Sirius seated in the back of the classroom with an open seat next to him.

“Mind if I sit here?” She whispered as she set her bag down. “Course not, take a seat, friend,” Sirius smiled. “We’re friends again?” Y/N asked him with a slight tilt of her head. “Well, we sit together in two classes and I enjoy the conversations we share, so yeah I suppose we are,” Sirius shrugged. “Is that okay?” he asked. Y/N grinned, “Yeah, that’s okay.” Sirius smiled in return before turning his attention to the front of the room where Binns had started his lesson. Professor Binns was extremely passionate about his job, and Y/N knew that. She tried to listen closely and give him her full attention, more so because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings than actually caring about what he had to say, but he had the most monotonous voice she had ever heard, and the lesson was just so bloody boring. It didn’t help either that James and Sirius were using a golden snitch to pass notes back and forth, either. Finally, Y/N caved in and turned to Sirius.

“Please tell me you’re exchanging cheesy jokes, I’m so bored I’m going to lose my mind,” she whispered. “Almost. James and I are trying to find an animal that best describes Binns. James thinks he’s most like a tortoise but I think that’s too obvious,” Sirius leaned in to tell her, sliding the wrinkled parchment to her. An idea popped into Y/N’s head and with a smirk, she lifted her quill. I think he’s most like a naked mole-rat. He’s wrinkly as hell and is so engrossed in his job that he kept doing it after he died, she wrote. Sirius leaned over her should to read what she was writing and laughed out loud, quickly covering it with an obnoxiously loud cough. He folded the parchment up and stuffed it inside the snitch before sending it back over to James. When James read the parchment, he let out one loud laugh but quickly composed himself before sliding it over to Remus who’s shoulders shook as he chuckled silently. James took the paper down and scribbled another note to pass back to Sirius. She’s in. See if she wants to come to Hogsmeade with us on Saturday.

-

The week sped by as Y/N nervously awaited the weekend. She really liked Sirius’s friends, but her family had a long history and a bad reputation, and they all had every right to despise her for that. Y/N held completely different beliefs than even her own parents, but the legacy her family name held still filled her with guilt. She almost felt like she was holding her breath, waiting for them to realize that they didn’t actually want her around. Y/N elected to wake up early and go to the great hall as soon as Saturday breakfast began. The hall was nearly empty, as most of the students preferred to sleep in on the weekends.

She sat alone and piled her plate with fruit, but instead of eating, she just sat there, trying to calm her nerves and prepare for the day. By the time the rest of the students began showing up for breakfast, Y/N realized that she wasn’t hungry, and she decided to take her uneaten food out to the forbidden forrest. She wasn’t expected to meet Sirius and his friends in Hogsmeade until 10:30, she had plenty of time. On her way out of the great hall, Y/N passed Sirius and Remus, giving them a quick smile before ducking her head and slightly speeding up her pace. Sirius and Remus looked at one another, and Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but Remus beat him to it. “Go on. We’ll see you in Hogsmeade,” he told Sirius. Sirius grinned before turning to follow after Y/N.

When he finally caught up with her, Y/N had just found a place that she decided was deep enough into the Forbidden Forest. “You know, I’m pretty sure Hagrid comes out here to feed the creatures every night,” Sirius spoke up, “You don’t have to sacrifice your breakfast to them.” “I already had it on my plate, and I decided I wasn’t hungry. Didn’t want it to go to waste,” Y/N shrugged. “Plus, I like the animals,” she said, as a little rabbit hopped up and ate one of the berries she had tossed on the ground. Sirius chuckled at the bunny as he stepped closer to Y/N to see the little animals scurrying around the fruit. “What are you doing out here?” Y/N smiled as she turned to him. Y/N was terrified that Sirius was going to snap out of it and realize that she came from everything he hated, but at the same time his presence always made her feel so comfortable. “Wanted to come check on you. You seemed a little off leaving the great hall,” He answered honestly.

“Oh, I’m okay. Just wanted to spend a little time outdoors,” Y/N flashed him a positive smile. Sirius didn’t respond for a minute. “Did you know that your voice changes when you’re trying to be pleasant?” He finally asked her. “What do you mean?” Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Your voice gets higher and you nearly over-annunciate your words so that you sound more confident than you’re necessarily feeling,” he shrugged. “I noticed it at the engagement party, and most of the time when you talk to James, and Lily, and Peter.” “Oh.. I, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ Y/N started. “Y/N you’re not obligated to tell me anything you don’t want to tell me, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, either. I just want you to know that you don’t have to put on a front for any of us. And I don’t want to you to feel like you have to, either,” he assured her. “You don’t have to be ‘The Daughter of the Y/L/N Family, you can just be Y/N with us.”

“Sirius, I’m so nervous around your friends. I’ve been playing the role of Y/N Y/L/N for so long that I don’t think I even know who ‘just Y/N’ is. And everyone else is fine with the front, but your friends are all so true to themselves, and what they believe in. I just feel like they’re bound to realize that I don’t deserve the kind of friendship they give. I don’t know how to be around people and be relaxed and just roll with the punches,” Y/N admitted. “Hey. We all know that you are nothing like your parents. And they already like you, I can guarantee they aren’t going to change their minds. Plus, I like to think that you’ve been pretty relaxed and honest with me these last few weeks,” Sirius offered.

“I’ve known you my whole life, of course I’m comfortable around you. I don’t think that counts,” Y/N counted. “Oh, it counts,” Sirius decided, earning a laugh from Y/N. “Really though, don’t get so into your head, you’re great, just being yourself,” he assured her. Y/N gnawed on the inside of a cheek for a moment before lurching to the side in order to squeeze Sirius in a quick hug. “Thanks,” she told him, avoiding his gaze. Sirius grinned and nudged her with his shoulder, “Any time.” “Oh, Merlin! We’ve got to be late going to Hogsmeade! I had only planned on being out here for a few minutes,” Y/N scrunched up her face. “That’s alright,” Sirius assured her, “I know a shortcut, come with me.”

Sirius led Y/N back to the castle, up to the third floor, to the statue of Gunhilda of Gorsemoor. “Dissendium,” he said softly, and the statue opened up to reveal a tunnel. “What in the-“ Y/N blurted, but Sirius gave her an exasperated look and she cut herself off. “What in Merlin’s beard is this?” she whispered aggressively. Sirius motioned for her to go down the stairs and she reluctantly began making her way down, Sirius following and immediately falling into step next to her. Once they were a few steps down, the statue closed back up, Y/N stopped to look back but Sirius kept walking and Y/N determined that it did what it was supposed to do and caught back up with him. “It’s a secret passageway,” Sirius told her. “There are loads of them around the castle. This one leads to Honeydukes’s cellar, where I figure everyone will be because Remus likes to stock up on chocolate on the first trip of the term,” He said. “How do you know where they are?” Y/N asked him in amazement. “We... do a lot of things that aren’t homework,” Sirius shrugged. “I’m gonna let it go for now, but I definitely want to see some of the other passageways,” Y/N told him. Sirius grinned and agreed before picking up his pace a little bit.

By the time Sirius and Y/N climbed up the stairs from the cellar into Honeydukes shop, the marauders were still browsing the selections of sweets. “Hello all, we made it!” Sirius announced as he approached James and slung his arm around him. “Wow, Sirius is late, who would have expected this to happen?” Remus commented in a monotonous tone, earning laughter from James, Lily, and Peter. “Would have been on time but I got distracted by Y/N out in the forbidden forest trying to sneak a bowtruckle into her pocket!” Sirius grinned. “You know, I’m not sure that’s exactly how it went,” Y/N quipped. “I think the most important question here is: do you actually have a bowtruckle in your pocket?” James asked her. “Unfortunately, I do not. I actually was wanting to get a few to live in my garden at home but my mother thinks they’re vermin and forbade it,” Y/N admitted.

“No problem, here’s the plan: We find a bowtruckle for you. We spend the entire year training it to play camouflage and be still when other humans come in the garden, and boom-your parents will never even notice it,” James proposed. Y/N was taken aback at his willingness to help her at the drop of a hat, but she tried not to show it. “Do you really think that will work?” she asked him. “Of course! Bowtruckles are very intelligent,” James shrugged. “Plus, your mother doesn’t pay much attention to things that she deems unnecessary,” Sirius added. “Sirius!” Lily scolded. “Oh, no, it’s okay! He’s totally right,” Y/N assured Lily with a laugh. “She’s been in my conservatory maybe three times, and all she ever does is glance around and say ‘it looks nice, dear,’” Y/N over-corrected her posture and did an exaggerated impression of her mother. “As long as it didn’t move around, she would probably just see green and think it belongs there,” Y/N added.

“Sounds doable,” Remus shrugged, “When do we want to start?” he asked. “Do you all really want to do this?” Y/N asked, looking to each of them. “It does sound fun,” Lily nodded. “Plus, I love any excuse to piss off parents,” Sirius smirked. “I think we’re all in,” Peter added. “Alright,” Y/N smiled. “Maybe we can skip lunch in the great hall tomorrow and bring our food out to the forbidden forest instead?” Y/N suggested. “It could be like a picnic and a mission all in one.” “Oh, I think lunch in the forest would be lovely!” Lily exclaimed. “Lunch tomorrow, then. Operation Bowtruckle is a-go!” James declared. Y/N grinned as the group split up to finish picking out their sweets.

“I can’t believe they just decided to up and help me like that,” Y/N told Sirius as she picked up a tin of lemon-sherbets. “I told you, they like you already. Plus, we all love a good mission,” Sirius smiled and nudged her shoulder with his. “I’m really excited, it sounds fun. Plus, I think it’ll be a nice way to stick it to my family once the school year ends,” Y/N admitted, “It’s not harmful in any way, but it’s slightly petty and I think it’ll make me feel a little better.” “I personally don’t think it’s enough to make up for them selling your freedom, but if it makes you feel better about it than it’s a start,” Sirius shrugged. Y/N froze at his words but quickly snapped herself out of it, hoping that Sirius wouldn’t notice, but he did.

“I... I didn’t mean it like that,” Sirius told her softly. “It’s okay, really-“ Y/N tried to stop him but he cut her off. “I just mean that they’re asking a lot of you, and sneaking in a two-inch leaf creature isn’t nearly on the same scale of sacrifice,” He told her. “No, you’re right. I just don’t really have any other way to rebel so I’m doing what I can,” Y/N shrugged and gave a light laugh, and Sirius could tell she didn’t want to pursue the topic any further. “Maybe we can train it to be very stealthy and sneak around your house making noises to mess with your mum?” Sirius joked, slinging an arm around Y/N’s shoulder. “What,” Y/N laughed, “You want to use a bowtruckle to gaslight my parents into thinking the manor is haunted?” Sirius joined in her laughter for a moment before shaking his head. “I was thinking more along the lines of rodents in the walls but I like where your mind is,” Sirius told her, and they both burst into laughter again. “You’re crazy, Sirius Black,” Y/N laughed as she shook her head.

The teenagers finished picking out their sweets and the group reconvened outside of Honeydukes. “Anyone fancy a trip to Zonko’s?” Remus offered. “I actually need to go to Scrivenshaft's for a new quill,” Lily replied. “Oh, I wanted to get some parchment and quills for journaling!” Y/N agreed. “The boys always lose their heads in Zonko’s anyway. Y/N, why don’t you and I go get our supplies and leave them to their toys,” Lily flashed Y/N a wink as all of the marauders began to protest. “They aren’t toys!” Peter cried. “We’re planning chaos!” Sirius protested. “Yes, I can see what you mean. They’re obviously very passionate about the pranks,” Y/N laughed, “I’d love to join you, Lily.” And with that, the group split into two.

“So you said that you and Sirius grew up together?” Lily asked as the girls made their way through Hogsmeade. “Yeah, our parents are good friends so we spent a lot of time together as children. Shortly after the start of first year my parents wrote me a letter saying that Sirius was becoming too much of a troublemaker and that I wasn’t to see him anymore,” Y/N admitted. “And that was just… it?” Lily asked. There was no judgment in her question, just complete surprise. “That was it. The society we grew up in, what Sirius did is almost unheard of. We’re trained from birth to listen to our parents and be upstanding members of the community. If our parents tell us that we aren’t to associate with someone, we never see them again. Image and status are everything to them,” Y/N told her.

“So what changed?” Lily asked, opening the door to Scrivenshaft's and holding it for Y/N to enter. “I don’t know, I ran into Sirius at my engagement party over the summer and I was a little bit miserable. Sirius was the only one who noticed, and we talked and, I don’t know, it was nice to have a genuine conversation with someone. It was like no time had passed and I realized that I missed him. That’s sort of crazy, isn’t it?” Y/N laughed nervously. “That’s not crazy at all, everyone needs friends that they can depend on, and Sirius is a good one,” Lily smiled. “But let’s back up just a tad… You’re engaged?” Lily asked incredulously. “Yes. Well, sort of. I mean… Yes. My parents promised me to the son of another family when we were children. Now we’re to be married when the school year ends,” Y/N explained. “Y/N that’s… heavy,” Lily stopped rummaging through shelves to look at Y/N. “Oh, it’s alright. Peter seems nice, and financially well off, and I’ve been prepared for this for years so it’s okay,” Y/N nodded and Lily didn’t want to press on.

“But you and Sirius seem to have reconnected without a hitch,” Lily offered. “Oh, yeah absolutely. It’s weird how we’ve only just picked up again and he already seems to know me better than my family and my other friends,” Y/N pondered. A knowing glimmer shone in Lily’s eyes and she just nodded as Y/N began looking for the parchment she needed. Lily stood pondering for a moment before catching up with Y/N. She decided it was best to not press on and changed the subject. “That’s the best parchment for personal writing, I think. Do you write?” Lily asked her. “I like to write out my feelings, mostly. Sometimes I write poetry, but that’s pretty much the same thing only in a stuck-up way,” Y/N laughed, “What about you?” “I don’t think poetry is stuck up at all, I think it’s beautiful! And I like to journal, write about my day, things to preserve memories, you know?” Lily replied. Y/N smiled, “I think that’s brilliant. I’ll have to try that-writing down my favorite memories from the day.”

“I’d love to read more poetry,” Lily pondered aloud. “Oh, I could recommend you some books! My parents had me reading poetry my whole life to improve my prose, that’s how I got into writing it,” Y/N offered. “I would love that! What else do you like to read?” Lily asked. “Old stuff, mostly,” Y/N admitted with a laugh, “Shakespeare, Dickens, Brontë, Wilde, stuff like that.” “All good, yes, but hear me out: modern sci-fi, or if that’s a little too much for you, some romance?” Lily suggested. “I’d be open to both, honestly,” Y/N nodded. “How about we do a book swap? Every Sunday we meet in the library and pick out a book for the other to read-You pick out a poetry book for me, I pick something modern and muggle for you, and then the following Saturday we can talk about the books!” Lily exclaimed. “Lily Evans, I think we’re going to be very good friends,” Y/N grinned as she tossed her arm around Lily’s shoulders and the girls made their way to the counter.

[vanoincidence]

Power Creep || Van, Wynne & Emilio

TIMING: current. LOCATION: deersprings. PARTIES: @ohwynne @mortemoppetere & @vanoincidence SUMMARY: wynne and van are on a walk to the store when they get interrupted. luckily, emilio shows up. CONTENT WARNINGS: none!

Van kicked at a loose rock, watching as it skipped over the edge of the sidewalk and into the road. “I miss winter.” She hated slipping on ice and not being able to ride her board, but hated allergy season even more. She looked over at Wynne with a frown, pulling her hat down over her ears. It was a little too small for her, and every time she talked, the fabric wiggled upwards. “We should have a beach day once it’s warmer though… even if we don’t go swimming.” She kicked another rock, squinting into the darkness as it hit the tire of a car. 

“Maybe we can collect seashells.” Van wanted things to be normal so desperately. It was easier to pretend they were if she didn’t think about the magic coursing through her, or the fact that Regan was leaving. Though, she guessed one of those things was normal. People always managed to leave, especially in this town. “Do you really think Dr. Kavanagh is going to stay there? In Ireland, I mean…” Would she be back, or would she love Ireland so much that she stayed put? “I heard they have free healthcare. I think. But she’s a doctor… doesn’t she already have health care?” 

—- 

“I don’t,”  Wynne said, and though the idea of disagreeing with someone didn’t sit well with them, it was the truth. They did prefer summer over winter, thought spring the best season of all. Especially when the days got warmer. Winter made the clouds in their mind seem heavier. “I would really like that, to swim as well. And maybe we can do something fun with the shells we collect. Do you think we could take a surfing class? Or … well do you already know how to do that?” Their eyes followed the rock too and they smiled at the small collision. “If you want, we can also celebrate the spring equinox together. That’s what we used to do at home too, but I do it my own way now. It’s later this month.”

It was nice to walk though. Even if the skin was so cold that it was harsh against their cheeks. Besides, the two of them had a goal — to get a snack! Wynne was glad to have Van’s expertise when it came to treats. They looked sideways at her as she mentioned Dr Kavanagh. “I don’t know.” They looked ahead again, at the way the streetlights were reflected in the icy streets. “Maybe. I hope not, but maybe that’s selfish.” But if Regan’s family was really like their own, they hoped she’d be back. “I don’t know a lot about healthcare, Irish or otherwise.” They were pretty sure they got it through their current job, though. At home, they’d not gone to hospitals. They now understood people had died when maybe they hadn’t had to. “She is a good doctor to have in town.”

—- 

“Surfing?” She shook her head, “no, I’ve never tried that… but I’m sure we could find somewhere around here to do it.” Van was sure that somewhere in Wicked’s Rest, somebody was offering surfing lessons in the summer– she just hadn’t ever looked. “We could try snowboarding, too, if you wanted.” She’d only been a few times, mostly on school class trips, but she always became overwhelmed with the ski lifts and opted to stay closer to the bunny slopes. She wondered silently if things would be different now. “Oh, that’s what–” your cult did – it contains itself before it slips, and Van nods instead, “I think I saw a documentary about that the other day! I think um, that’s what it was.” Nice save, idiot. “It’s too bad I wasn’t born on the equinox… I think that would’ve been cool.” 

“What’s selfish about it?” A part of Van felt relieved that she was leaving, but only because it meant she wouldn’t be thrown out onto the street. Then again, she guessed she could go back to her house, even if she didn’t necessarily want to anymore. Dr. Kavanagh’s apartment was sterile in a way that felt right– it was void of any memories, good, bad– any of it. Though, Thea brought in… different feelings– seeing her every day. She cleared her throat and tightened her arms around her, kicking another rock. They weren’t too far from the corner store now and her stomach grumbled at the promise of hot funyuns. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her be like, a doctor. Only talk about it.” Dead people needed doctors too, she knew. They needed to be respected, and it really seemed like Dr. Kavanagh did that. “But I hope she likes Ireland, but comes back…” For her sake, for Jade’s– it seemed like Wynne cared about her too with the way that they had shown up at Regan’s apartment, expecting her. “Have you ever been to Ireland? I’ve never been to anywhere abroad except for Toronto, but we like, drove there, and it was super quick.” 

—

“Yes, right? Because there’s beach. We sometimes did some watersports at home, but that was a lake. Mostly a lot of swimming.” Wynne missed the lake, the way the fog formed in the mornings. The squeals that erupted when you dove in in the summer. “Snowboarding? That sounds … cool, but also a bit scary. I’d like to go on the mountains, though. I’d love to do that. Is it still cold enough for this? I bet, right?” They nodded. “It would have been. But your birthday is also special!”

They were quiet for a moment, processing that question as well as why they thought that selfish. Wynne shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I should just be happy for her that she’s going to her family. And not be thinking about my own feelings or something. That feels selfish.” It had always been branded selfish to take their own emotions into consideration. They had been more than just a person, at home — they had been sanctified, a future savior, a beacon of hope. Prioritizing that was key. But maybe not wanting Dr Kavanagh to leave just meant they cared about her. “I have been to her office. She has a lot of skeletons there. I never saw the corpses, though. I don’t want to.” They grimaced, kicked the same stone after it had rolled their way. “I hope she does too.” They shook their head. “No. I’ve only been here, in Maine. And New Hampshire, a little. I have never been in another country. The world is so big, am I right? How was Toronto?” 

—

Van silently tried to imagine the life that Wynne had before finding themself in Wicked’s Rest. She’d heard enough to picture it in bits and pieces, but it wasn’t entirely clear. She tried to imagine people who looked like Wynne– siblings, maybe, or cousins, who dove beneath the water to grab at rocks beneath the lake’s surface. “It’s definitely still cold enough for it.” Van offered a smile, brushing past the memories she was re-creating in Wynne’s stead. “I want to, for sure… we should definitely do it.” She was a little nervous at the prospect of falling flat on her face, but she was great at skateboarding! The mechanics were there! “The 21… I’ll remember that, I think.” She nodded, committing the date to memory. It was clear that it was important to them, because this hadn’t been the first time they’d mentioned something about an equinox. 

“I think it’s okay to be…” Van gestured vaguely, “upset..?” She thought for a moment before shaking her head, “maybe that’s not the right word, but..” Van shrugged, mimicking the way that Wynne kicked a rock, sending her own flying to the side, off into somebody’s yard. “I don’t think it’s selfish to feel things. You can be selfish, but I don’t think feeling things has anything to do with it.” She offered Wynne a small smile before shrugging, pulling the sleeves of her coat down so that she was cupping them against her palm. “It was okay. It was for a convention.” She couldn’t remember too much about it. Her anxiety had spiraled tenfold, and now that she looked back at it, she was sure that the melted convention tables had been her fault. 

As they continued to walk, Van saw movement out of the corner of her eye. “Oh, the cemetery is over there… I wonder if Nora is home.” It felt weird, calling the cemetery Nora’s home, but it felt right, too. “Should we go check?” She offered Wynne a smile, before it faltered. “Wait, this isn’t hers, never–” The sound of something scraping against the floor, a body being dragged through mud– there was dirt, too. The sound of gagging. Van’s eyes widened as she grabbed onto Wynne’s arm, dragging them backwards from the fence where the creature stood, taller than either of them. “What is that?” Van asked, breathless, skin now itchy by merely looking at it. As if in some kind of response, the creature dropped the individual by the leg it held onto and leapt over the fence, now standing a foot or so away from either herself or Wynne. “Wynne–” 

—

“Let’s do it! I love trying new things,” Wynne said, glad that there was another possible prospect to look forward to. They had learned that it were those kinds of things they needed to continue to feel like life was valuable, to keep them from sinking into the dark and depressed mood they were always teetering on the edge of. “Especially with friends. And if all goes wrong we’ll at least laugh about it, right?” They smiled at Van. “Sweet. I will let you know where to be when it’s time! I think on the beach near where I live now.”

They were silent as Van spoke, focusing on the pavement. She didn’t think it was selfish to feel things — and it sounded right coming from her mouth, even if the concept in and of itself was wrong. It was selfish to be overrun by emotions, to feel so deeply that it might upset others. Wynne wished there was another stone to kick. “Oh,” they said, as if Van was saying something completely new. In a way, she was. “I think I find it hard to be upset. I was taught it was bad and selfish. But I think you’re right. I wouldn’t think it selfish if you were sad.” And Wynne was no longer someone special or chosen, so why shouldn’t those standards apply to them? They were here now, in this world. “What did you convene about?” They weren’t sure if that was what people did at conventions, but it sounded right. 

They looked at the cemetery, nodding at the suggestion. They hadn’t really been at Nora’s cemetery home a lot, as they’d always met in public or wherever Emilio was living at that time. Wynne was ready to go in, though. Seeing Nora would be nice — but she didn’t live there, Van realized. And there was something else. Their eyes were wide, pushing deep into the darkness to try and see what it was the pair of them were hearing. They too felt an itch running down their skin. “I don’t know.” Wynne took a step backward, felt themself holding onto Van’s hand where she’d grabbed their arm and took them further back with them. It looked monstrous. Their free hand reached inside their jumper, pulling out the necklace Emilio had given them. It seemed to cause some kind of response, the silver cross and Wynne held it out as they kept stumbling back, a moan escaping from their throat. Something fearful, something pathetic, something that wasn’t equipped at all to handle the winged beast closing in on them with a fist full of dirt.

—

If she and Wynne lived anywhere else, they could have continued their conversation. Van would have convinced them that they deserved to feel anger, if they wanted to— that it was alright to exist for themselves now that they were out of their cult. Though, she still wasn’t sure that was the appropriate word to use. Probably not. It didn’t matter that much, though, because the beastly figure that stood in front of them now took over practicality on Van’s behalf. 

It advanced on them, and Van noticed out of the corner of her eye that Wynne was digging into their sweater, pulling something out— the hand that was closed around theirs tightened, and she half expected something to happen at the reveal of whatever Wynne had closed in their hand, but nothing did. There was no magical light that poured from the necklace, but it did, however, deter the monster for a moment. That moment was all Van needed for her magic to push forward. The ground at the monster’s feet began to melt, cement running grey around the creature’s feet. It caused it to slip, almost too comically, and Van was stumbling backwards, pulling Wynne with her. 

“I did that, and we have to go— what is that!” She was shrieking now, admittance for what she’d done ringing through the air. She thought about all of the times she had denied such a thing, and how it felt almost freeing to finally say that yes, she had been on the other end of the magic that temporarily rendered the beast unable to advance on them. “Wynne, what do we do!” The melted asphalt wasn’t enough to keep it at bay for long, and it was trudging towards them, steps too careful for something entirely beast like— this had smarts to it, Van realized. The dirt that it held in its hand spilled from the corners of its large hands, and Van shrunk away as it got closer. Panic rose in her chest and Van outstretched a hand, willing something to happen, but nothing did. 

Wynne knew that strange things existed. There were demons and vampires, fae and mares. There was such a thing as magic as well, but they didn’t fully understand it — but when the ground started melting they figured that might be it. The thing slipped, ugly and made clumsy and they stared with wide eyes. Disbelief still washed over them, an emotion so familiar to them that they might as well no longer register it. The world was full of strange things, but they weren’t used to it yet.

And then Van was shouting that she’d done that and Wynne wanted to ask her what she was going on about, but in stead ran after her. They too were letting out a shriek, “I don’t know! It — maybe — vampire!” It had responded to their cross, hadn’t it? Did Van know about vampires? She had made the ground melt, so maybe she did. They continued to move backwards, fear continuing to strike in their heart and striking twice as heard when their bodies hit what seemed to be a car. “I don’t know! Do that thing again!” Whatever it had been, it had seemed to slow the creature down.

But nothing was happening and the creature was upon them now, taking hold of Van and ripping her from Wynne’s grip. It stuffed a hand of dirt in her mouth and they didn’t even know what to do for a moment, so stunned by this action. “Stop that!” They kicked at the creature, which seemed very intent on finishing his task of making Van eat dirt. 

“A VAMPIRE?! Wynne, that looks nothing like Edward Cullen!” She wasn’t exactly upset by the lack of Edward Cullen-ness, especially because to her, he was the least attractive in the family. If the vampire looked like Alice, on the other hand… Van’s thoughts jumped from one medium to the next, trying to dilute the idea of vampires into one single image. If both magic and bugbears existed, then who was to say something like vampires didn’t?

While she really wanted to have a breakdown about it, she knew that now was not the time. “I can’t just do it, it just happens!” She was panicked enough, but that brought on another fear– that the ground might come up to swallow both herself and Wynne. 

As hard as she tried to concentrate– to follow Wynne’s instructions, she was interrupted by the beast ripping her forward. Had her shoulder just popped out of place? The pain was blinding. She let out a scream, but it was soon muted by the way dirt poured into her mouth. She choked on it, kicking against the creature. Her fingers dug into the arm, but it was no use– he was far too strong for her. The dirt in her mouth was rancid, and she couldn’t breathe. She was going to die here, all because her stupid magic only worked when it wanted to. 

—

There was always something to do in a graveyard. Emilio longed for a busy mind these days, needed the constant distraction that came with pumping adrenaline and hands covered in dust. He was no good on his own, with his thoughts and his feelings, and he couldn’t expect to always be surrounded when the people he cared for had worlds all their own inside their heads. So he fell back on old habits. He stalked graveyards with stakes and blades gripped in his hands so tightly his knuckles hurt, he made himself useful. There was relief to be found in destruction, in the sound of commotion that he knew he could resolve.

There was less relief when the voices causing that commotion were familiar ones.

He recognized Wynne’s voice first, of course. It was the one he heard more often, the one he’d had many a late night conversation with in the hallway of their old apartment building or the quiet living room of Teddy’s house. It took him a second to pinpoint that other voice. Not Nora, not Ariadne. Someone else. He was almost on top of them before it hit him, though given the way he spotted the ground half-melted, he wasn’t sure the revelation meant much. Van was the only person he knew with a habit of melting the ground they stood on as a mechanism of defense.

And defense was a necessary thing here. He spotted the vampire instantly, recognized it as a blutsauger with a quiet string of curses. He didn’t have any garlic on him, and he felt stupid for that. These things were rarer than most other types of vampires — it wasn’t the kind of thing you went out expecting to find. But of course, Wynne and Van had found one anyway. And of course, it was doing its goddamn damndest to turn Van with dirt going for her mouth. “Hey!” He called out, unsure if he was trying to get the kids’ attention or the vampire’s or both. “Get over to me. Okay? Get over here.”

—

Van didn’t know about vampires and Wynne wasn’t sure who Edward Cullen was and it was all a little bit too much to comprehend and explain, so they just tried to focus their energy on what needed doing. The whole vampire and supernatural things exist conversation could come after they’d survived this. Besides, they had questions about what Van had just created! They hoped one day they’d have to stop learning about things that made their head hurt.

For now, they continued to kick at the creature, their anger and fear both growing louder with the sound of Van’s voice. Wynne watched with horror how the dirt got stuck in Van’s throat and they dug for their knife, the one that Emilio had gifted them but that they hadn’t had to use yet, that just sat in their pocket in case of. The knife they hoped to never have to use.

They kicked the creature again, screamed at it to, “Let her GO,” and then tried to hit it with the knife. It wasn’t wood and the skin barely broke, the knife sliding down and leaving a cut that seemed to barely bother the thing. They roared, trying to take Van’s hand to pull her away but Wynne wasn’t strong like that. They didn’t know what to do and they hoped that someone else was here, that —

And that’s when fate seemed to be on their side for once, Emilio’s protective voice calling out and ringing through their body with a feeling of recognition. “I don’t know how!” Their voice was shrill as they called back. How could they just run towards the slayer if their friend was in such trouble? If she might die? The fear struck through their heart and they looked at Emilio. “Van — I can’t — we need to stop it, I don’t know what it’s doing but it needs to stop.” Wynne pushed with their hands at the vampiric monster again, their knife cutting into some of its skin but it was futile in the grand scheme of things. “Van, Van, can you — pull free? We need to run.”

—

There was another voice– although grating, Van felt a wave of relief. She’d recalled the last time she’d gotten into trouble with Emilio, how he’d taken care of it pretty swiftly. Would this be like the last time, or would she die here? Her mouth was full of dirt and she was coughing it up as the monster was shoving it in. She could see Wynne out of the corner of her eye kicking at the creature, but it didn’t seem to care all that much. She tried to, too, but she was growing tired– exhaustion set into her bones the more dirt that filled her mouth. 

Van spluttered, nails digging into the wrist of the creature as she tried desperately to break the hold it had on her. Tears streamed down her face, both from the suffocation and the fear. She was starting to lose feeling in her toes, she thought– was that what that was? Suddenly, one moment she was being held upright, and the next she was being half-tossed, half-thrown to the side. The ground beneath the monster began to disintegrate, liquid asphalt pouring over the creature’s feet. At least her magic was working now. Was she about to die? Was that what this was? 

She hit the ground hard, stars scattering across her vision as she coughed up the dirt, hooking a finger into her mouth to scoop it out. Tears made her face sticky and wet, and she could only imagine what she might have looked like to those around her. But that didn’t matter– not right now. When she looked back towards the beast, it was stuck in the goo she’d created. The divet into the earth looked like a large pothole, and then suddenly– a giant hand, grotesque and feathery grabbed onto the creature’s shoulder, pulling it down beneath the level at which Van could see it. 

—

There wasn’t time for this. The blutsauger had a hold of Van, was already stuffing dirt into her mouth, and it wouldn’t be long before it killed her. Maybe Emilio couldn’t keep it down permanently, but he had to do something, had to find some way to at least save the kid’s life. He yanked his holy water from his pocket, pushing himself as best he could to cross the distance between himself and the kids quickly in spite of the pain in his bad leg, but he could already tell it wasn’t going to be enough. Van was sputtering and coughing and running out of time, and Emilio could push himself as hard as he wanted to but he couldn’t force his useless leg to work. He couldn’t close the distance quickly enough, couldn’t stop what was about to happen. He’d walk away from this with another dead kid on his conscience — or two, if he was too slow to save Wynne, too. The thought was enough to push him a little more, make him move faster but still too slow. He was going to be too late, he was going to fail here the same way he had a thousand times before, he was going to —

The Earth opened up beneath the blutsauger’s wretched feet, close enough that Emilio stumbled back to avoid the gaping canyon that had appeared in the world. It looked like what Van had done back the last time he’d run into her, but… different. Bigger, more intense. Something came out of the hole — a hand? None of it made a whole lot of sense, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter, because Emilio was close enough now to dart around that hole, to close the distance between himself and the kids.

He came in as quickly as he could, still clutching that holy water. It had seemed small in comparison to the blutsauger, but it seemed utterly miniscule when held up against the size of the hole that had opened in the ground. Emilio held it anyway, unscrewed the cap with his teeth as he crouched next to Van, between her and the crevice that had swallowed the blutsauger. “You okay? You — Can you breathe? Wynne.” He gestured wildly at them, ushering for them to get behind him, to let him put himself between them and the hole, too. “Here.” He pulled the cross from around his throat, shoving it towards Van. Wynne had the one he’d given them, still; it would be better if Van weren’t entirely unarmed. Although… looking to the hole, Emilio had a feeling Van never quite had that problem.

—

Wynne was moved by pure instinct only, driven by the fear of losing Van, of this ugly creature killing her on a random evening. They had just been on their way to get some snacks — surely that couldn’t be how death went? Death came for old people or happened in grotesque ways, like a sacrifice on an altar or a vampire’s head being torn off. It didn’t just happen like this, did it? Sure, there were stories of things just happening like this, but Van couldn’t just die, right here, on a random evening when they had been going to get some candy. And so they were trying whatever they could, attempting to pull and hit and kick and shriek – but none of it gave.

And then the ground started to move, something strange happening and Wynne jumped back a beat after Van was tossed away. They watched her cough up the dirt and started to pull at the bandana tied around their neck. Their intention to hand it over for Van to wipe the dirt off of was discarded when they looked at what was happening. The ground was transforming, sinking, becoming some kind of hole — and then there was a hand, a tug and it was gone. The feathery hand and the vampiric thing itself. They stared, tasted the salt of tears leaking into their mouth and let out a whimper.

Soon enough they rushed over, pulling off their bandana fully and holding it out to to Van. Their eyes danced viciously from the hole to Emilio to Van, not sure what to focus on. “Is it — is it gone?” They were crouching, hand placed on the ground and an exhale passing from their lips. “Van —” They didn’t know what to say. Should they address it, how afraid they had been? How she’d almost died? No, probably not – it would probably not be sensible, even if it was the thought circling their mind viciously. “Are you okay? What can we do?”

—

Between colliding with asphalt and the dirt in her throat, Van was gasping for air. Chest heaving, she held onto her shirt, pulling it slightly as if it’d allow her more room to breathe. She wasn’t dead, and neither was Wynne. Emilio was still talking, and now Wynne was talking to her, too. She blinked rapidly, tears blurring her vision making it hard to take in her surroundings. Something dropped into her lap and her hand splayed wildly around until she felt the weight of the cross. She held onto it as if some sort of lifeline, reaching up to rub away the dirt on her face.

“I think I’m okay,” Van managed to choke out, wheezing slightly as she tilted her head back, blinking away the now dirty smeared tears. Her mind raced from Diana in the parking lot to recently with Regan’s apartment, and now–? Once her vision became slightly more clear, she found the space where the creature had been, where the ground had swallowed it whole. It was left with an indent just as it had been when Diana disappeared, and as when the man in the ice cream shop had. She felt less guilt, less fear about this one, though. 

“I did that,” Van whispered, confirming what she was sure both her companions were trying to figure out. “I did that.” She had saved her own life, and possibly Wynne’s by proxy, but it’d been too close– what if the creature had dragged either herself or Wynne with it? What if Emilio had been trying to fight it off? “I’m sorry– I–” She choked on the remaining dirt in her throat and shook her head. “It was going to kill me, and maybe you, Wynne, I couldn’t– I had to do it, I had to kill it.” Even if she hadn’t exactly instructed her magic to do such a thing, the fear had pulled up over her like a second skin, leading the way to the creature’s destruction. She wasn’t sure what had come up to take down the vampiric beast, but she was grateful for it. How many more times would she feed her demons (literally)? “I don’t know how it– I– I was scared, and then– this happens when I’m really scared.” She looked at Emilio, “I didn’t want to hurt Wynne, I swear.” Because Emilio hurt things that hurt other people, right? Van had hurt people, plenty of them. Would Emilio retaliate? She stared at him, eyes glossed over with fear and regret. 

—

It all happened pretty quickly. There was a threat, there was a hole, there was a hand, there was nothing. Emilio’s adrenaline was pumping, but there was nowhere for it to go now. Nothing to fight off, nowhere to put the energy buzzing beneath his skin. The paranoia that had taken up a permanent residence in the back of his mind worked overtime as a result, insisting that something else was going to happen, that he’d missed something. Was that tingle on the back of his neck anxiety, or his senses warning him of another approaching undead? He whirled around, glancing off to the side with wild eyes. But the only chaos here was inside his head now; everything else was still.

“It’s gone,” he said, half in answer to Wynne’s question and half in an attempt to reassure himself of as much. There was nothing left to fight. He repeated it to himself a time or two, tried to calm the wild beating of his heart. It was gone. Van was alive and coughing, working on getting that dirt out of her lungs. Wynne was at her side, offering her their handkerchief and making sure she was okay. Emilio was scanning the perimeter like a damn crazy person, half-convinced something else was going to pop out of the woodwork and drag Wynne away next, or Van, or him. Was that something he needed to worry about? It must have been Van who’d caused the hand to appear, just like it had been Van who’d melted the asphalt during the goo shit, but how much control did she have over it? He’d wager that the answer was not much. 

Van’s voice managed to force its way through the haze of paranoia in his head only after she’d admitted to the ordeal, and he tuned in about halfway through. She was apologizing, she was scared. Of him, maybe? Guilt churned alongside the adrenaline in his gut. He felt a little nauseous. “Hey, it’s okay.” It didn’t come out quite as comforting as he’d meant for it to. It wasn’t gentle, wasn’t paternal. It was hoarse and uncertain instead, like a man out of practice with kindness. He grimaced at the sound of his own voice, shaking his head. “Look, you — You did what you had to. That thing was going to kill you. Then Wynne, then more people. You did good, kid. Okay? You did good.”

—

They wiped at their eyes, where tears of their own had fallen in the blind panic that was slowly ebbing from their body. Wynne didn’t know how to cope with these surges of emotions, but it didn’t much matter — there was no time to stress about emotional incapacity when there was something to take care of. And that, at the very least, was someone they had learned at home. Besides, Emilio was there now, and with Emilio they felt safe. Even if the earth had opened up and strange claw had snatched their assailant away, even if Van was still shaking.

And Van was apologizing for killing the thing and they wondered what it said about them that they were taken aback by it. Maybe it was because they hadn’t known a lot of people who apologized for their murders and sacrifices. Blood stuck to all the hands of the protherians, even Wynne. In this case it wasn’t even a matter of sacrifice, this had been self defense. This had been one of the monsters that should be killed, like the vampires in the barn or the demon their people had worshiped. They looked at Van with wide eyes, “It’s okay,” they said. “You did what you had to do. I’m glad you did. Okay? I — but … I don’t know what it was you did. But I’m glad.” If the world was filled with death – which it quite clearly was – Wynne wanted it to be monsters like the one who’d been swallowed whole to die, and not the people like Van. 

Emilio was also saying that Van had done good and they were glad for it. They remembered the vampire falling on their stake and turning into dust. Emilio turning more of them into nothingness, because maybe that was what best. They remembered Padrig, guts spilling. Jac, neck slit. The creature that had just died didn’t tug at their gut the way those last two did. Wynne nodded. “Do you want to go back home?” 

—

You did good. 

Van choked on the apologies as they swarmed her mind. She would need to explain this in further detail to Wynne, would need to figure out how to make them understand that she wasn’t dangerous in the same way that the creature had been. In a different way, sure, but different. Van didn’t want to hurt anyone, much less Wynne. Van blinked back the tears, both from the fear and agony of not having been able to breathe. She reached up to wipe away the few strays that managed to fight their way through with the back of her hand. 

She grabbed onto Wynne’s hand, holding it tightly as if willing them to be an anchor of some kind. If Van could feel something real in this moment, it would make it easier. She could feel Emilio’s gaze on her, too, and so she pushed herself up, exhaustion evident in her movements as she struggled to get to her feet. Her hands and knees were scraped and she could feel the sting with her movements, but that wasn’t important right now. 

Home was an option, but Van didn’t want to be alone. Regan’s apartment, though put back together after what had happened that night, felt a little… wrong. 

“Can I come over?” Van asked, stare blank as she looked down at the asphalt from where the creature had disappeared. “Is that okay?” She tightened her grip on Wynne’s hand, looking between them and Emilio. “I don’t–” She thought it was obvious, but she forced herself to say it, to bend at will to the idea that maybe they didn’t want her to be alone, either. “I don’t think I want to be alone.” 

—

There were tears, though none were from Emilio. He wondered, somewhat absently, if Van had done this before. Not the melting — that was familiar enough that he knew it had happened before — or even the hole that opened up and the hand that thrust its way out of it. Instead, he wondered about the creature he presumed to be dead now, wondered if Van had killed anything before it. How much of the fear on her face or the tears in her eyes were for the suffocation she’d nearly suffered, and how much were for the sensation of taking a ‘life,’ however ugly it had been? He tried to remember the first time he’d killed something, tried to remember what it felt like. But it was hard. It was hard to remember his hands before they were bloodied. Maybe it was better that way. Maybe that was the way things were supposed to be.

Wynne assured Van that she’d done what she’d had to, and it was strange that Emilio had thought that went without saying. He rarely considered things like this to be something a person needed comfort for. No one had comforted him, had they? His mother had praised him if he’d killed something exceptionally well but, beyond that, it had only ever been expected. Van killed the blutsauger, and of course she had to. But Wynne said it like the reassurance was necessary, so Emilio nodded as if he believed it, too. It was hard, teaching an old dog new tricks. None of them ever felt natural.

He glanced to Wynne at Van’s question, though he wasn’t sure if it was for them or himself. Wynne’s house was their own; Teddy had made sure of it. But Emilio nodded, anyway. “You can both come to Teddy’s,” he offered, because he thought Wynne might feel safe there and he thought he might feel better if he could keep an eye on them, on both of them. “You can have… Uh, how old are you again?” Wasn’t the drinking age different in America? In the twenties instead of eighteen. Emilio had been far younger when he’d had his first drink, though, and he’d never cared much for laws, anyway. So he shrugged. “Eh, doesn’t matter. You can have a drink. Helps calm you down. Or… There’s probably food. Uh, whatever you want. Yeah? You can do whatever you want.”

—

Van’s hand was in theirs and Wynne held on tight on her too, her thumb running small circles over the back of her hand. They weren’t sure what to say just yet, but maybe that was okay. There could be conversation about what exactly it was that Van had done and what it meant later, just like they could converse later about the existence of vampires. (And demons, maybe those too, if they were ripping off bandaids anyway.)

For now, though, there was a hand to hold and tears to let dry. As Van quietly asked if she could come over, they were ready to offer their home. Going to Teddy’s (and Emilio’s – even if he didn’t quite see it that way yet) home seemed like a good idea, though. More space, there, and the slayer could remain to linger in their periphery and make sure no other vampires somehow ended up on their trail and attacking them. They wanted to ask if there was a chance that there was more, as there always had been in their previous encounters with vampires. One look at Van made Wynne think twice about bringing up that potential reality, though.

“Sounds good,” they said, nodding. They squeezed Van’s hand. “Are you … did you drive?” They looked up at Emilio, who seemed to be suggesting a favored solution. Liquor. They wouldn’t mind some at this point. “There’s a bunch of stuff there. We’ll just go there and get you cleaned up and relax, okay? Teddy also always has treats. No need for the shop.” They looked at Van, catching her eyes. “We’ll be okay there.”

—

She wasn’t sure why, but she half expected Emilio to tell her no. She felt a little guilty for that– thinking so badly of him when all he was trying to do was help. Van leaned into Wynne as they ventured away from the scene of the crime. At Emilio’s question, her brows furrowed. It occurred to her that Emilio hadn’t even said happy birthday to her. Actually, that seemed normal. “I just turned twenty-one, and I like pink drinks.” Her voice shook slightly as she explained herself. It didn’t really matter what she liked or not, she didn’t think. 

Van attempted a smile, but she could still feel the dirt on her teeth. “Do you think Teddy has an extra toothbrush?” Would they be upset with her for what happened? Especially after getting her the ring that was supposed to help? She wasn’t sure. She bit the inside of her cheek as she stared off into the distance, She had to believe both Wynne and Emilio that it would be alright– that the beast she’d sent off to… wherever, wouldn’t come back to finish the job. 

—

“Oh. Happy birthday.” It was flat, and a little uncertain, but it was genuine, too. Emilio was sure Teddy had the ingredients to make pink drinks (were those just drinks that were pink?) back home, though he had no idea how to go about making one. He’d figure it out, he guessed. Fuck only knew the kid could probably use one, after everything.

He turned to Wynne, shaking his head a little. He hadn’t driven — and if he had, he’d have been on his bike, which he wasn’t sure would comfortably carry three people — but they should be fine to walk. And… stop by a store on the way home to buy a toothbrush. “I’ll get you one. Call it a late birthday gift or something. And Wynne’s right, okay? You’ll be all right.”

Emilio would make sure of it.

[sunflowersand-bees]

upside down concept where will and mike were stuck in the upside down and they're hiding out in the library (bc the library has a lot of importance and i can't wait to find out what importance. also the library is empty bc they killed the demogorgon who had been sticking its victims in the library and demogorgons are probably territorial or something) and they're sitting there, backs against a bookshelf. will despised being back in the upside down, every moment reminding him of that week in 1983.

will absentmindedly said, "this is where they found me."

"what?" mike asked, confused by the abrupt change in topic.

"when mom and hopper saved me from the upside down. this is where i was," will elaborated.

"oh." mike's voice shrunk. "why are we in here then? we can go somewhere else."

will shrugged. "it's fine. this place is safe." he pushed away the memories.

they both sat in silence. mike didn't know what to say.

will took a deep breath. "my heart had stopped."

"what?" it sounded like someone had sucker punched mike.

"hopper used cpr on me. i guess i probably wasn't dead," will mused.

will didn't dare look over at mike, not yet. he wasn't done.

"there was a vine, or something. and it went..." will tried to stop his voice from shaking. where had his initial apathy gone? "it..."

"will, stop," mike said softly. "you don't... you don't have to say any more."

will nodded wordlessly. he wanted nothing more than for mike to wrap will in his arms. he just wanted to be held. he just wanted to collapse into someone. he wanted to feel loved, even if it was just for a moment. maybe he could even pretend it was in the way he wanted it to be.

"when you were... gone..." mike started, clearing his throat. he sounded as steady as will felt, which was to say that he sounded terrified. "there was a situation. troy threatened to hurt dustin. he told me to jump off a cliff. and i didnt... i didn't know what to do."

will watched mike patiently, and mike glanced over, hands gesturing.

"it was already my fault that you were gone-"

will opened his mouth to protest but mike stilled him with a look.

"-or at least that's what i thought. you were riding home from my house. i blamed myself. and i just couldn't let another one of my friends get hurt." mike swallowed, and the noise seemed to echo in the stillness of the dark library. "so i... i took a step. i - fuck - i jumped off a cliff."

will put a hopefully comforting hand on mike's leg.

"el saved me. obviously, i'm not dead." mike laughed, but it didn't sound like he found it funny. "but, um, yeah."

mike's eyes darted down to where will's hand was still on his knee, and will moved to take his hand away, but mike stopped him. he took will's hand and threaded their fingers together.

"i'm so glad that hopper saved you. i don't know what i would've done otherwise."

will wanted to make a wisecrack about how mike would've been a mess, but he just couldn't seem to get his mouth to work properly. whether this was because of the somber topic and solemn confessions, or because mike was fucking holding his hand, he wasn't sure.

"and i'm glad that el saved you," will croaked.

instead of saying anything, mike just scooted closer to will. will leaned his head against mike's shoulder.

they probably needed to talk. there was a lot to talk about. but this was not the place nor the time, so they simply sat, mike rubbing his thumb along will's hand, and will leaning against mike's side.

[korealog]

[2] Somebody else’s life, or not? (ENG/DE) — Wednesday, 17.07.24

(ENG)

So off we went with Uncle Choi to Songdo. He used to be in the navy & later gave tours of Busan. During the journey, he kept pointing out new things and explaining everything in his broken English and Korean in between. He also took photos of me & always wanted me to walk in front so that he could make a video for me. (That's where my ‘being embarrassed’ comes through again haha). From there we went on to the beach and on to the largest fish market in Korea, ‘Jachgali Market’. Not really my taste, but he wanted to show me, why not ;) During the ride I felt the wind in my face or was afraid that my helmet would fall off my head. I think my head is really a bit small. At the end he took me to the metro and we exchanged numbers. Despite everything, I put in a little white lie, otherwise he would have driven me to my flat. Before I went with him, I still asked how much he wanted to pay. It was the equivalent of 15 euros, so it was totally fine ;) Back in Haeundae, I went to see a singer on the beach again... The performance was so beautiful that I shed a few tears. It was all just Korean songs and despite everything, his voice really touched me. At that moment, I only had one thought: ‘I've made it.’ I am really here, I have made new friends and I am all by myself in a forgein country. At the moment I'm still sitting in a bar in Haeundae writing to you, but I'm starting to get hit by mosquitoes, so I'm not going home. I'm a bit tired now too, haha. It's almost 1 o'clock here. See you tomorrow then!

(DE)

Auf ging es also mit Onkel Choi nach Songdo. Früher war er bei der Marine & hat später Touren durch Busan gegeben. Während der Fahrt hat er immer wieder neue Dinge Dinge gezeigt und mit seinem gebrochenen Englisch und zwischendrin Koreanisch alles erklärt. Fotos hat er auch von mir gemacht & wollte immer das ich vornweg laufe, damit er ein Video für mich machen kann. (Da kommt ja mein “peinlich berührt sein“ wieder durch haha). Von dort aus ging es noch weiter zum Strand und weiter zum größten Fischmarkt in ganz Korea „Jachgali Markt“. Nicht wirklich mein Geschmack, aber er wollte es mir zeigen, warum nicht ;) Während den Fahrt spürte ich den Wind im Gesicht oder hatte Angst, dass mir der Helm vom Kopf fällt. Ich glaube mein Kopf ist wirklich etwas klein. Zum Schluss hat er mich noch zur Metro gebracht und wir haben Nummern ausgetauscht. Trotzallem habe ich eine kleine Notlüge eingebaut, sonst hätte er mich noch bis zu meinem Apartment gefahren. Bevor ich mit ihm gefahren bin, habe ich trotzdem gefragt wie viel er den dafür bezahlt haben möchte. Es waren umgerechnet 15 Euro, also völlig in Ordnung ;) Zurück in Haeundae habe ich mir wieder am Strand einen Sänger angeschaut… Die Performance war so schön, ich habe mal kurze ein paar Tränen vergossen. Es waren alles nur koreanische Lieder und trotz allem hat mich seine Stimme wahnsinnig berührt. In dem Moment kam mir nur ein Gedanke: „Ich habe es geschafft.“ Ich bin wirklich hier, ich habe neue Freundschaften geschlossen und bin ganz alleine in einem fremden Land. Aktuell sitze ich noch in einer Bar in Haeundae um euch zu schreiben, aber so langsam werde ich doch von Mücken heimgesucht, also nicht wie nach Hause. Ein bisschen müde bin jetzt auch, haha. Es ist hier schon fast 1 Uhr. So, dann bis morgen!

[substituted-shinigami]

Prompt from @recurring-polynya

Working Title: Takiyaki Is NOT Communication

Characters: Rukia, Orihime, Renji (RenRuki)

Rating: G

Genre: Humor/Romance/Fluff

Prompt: Rukia presents Renji with some food she has made. I tried to keep it very open bc I'm more interested in where you might go with it!

Story Summary: When Rukia recognizes her feelings for Renji, she works with Orihime to figure out how best to tell him. Their plan is tasty, if not a little dangerous. Post TYBW, some spoilers.

Author’s note: I had a lot of fun writing this prompt, but man was it a roller coaster ride! At first, I was writing a completely different fic, a Prestigious Private School AU Part 2, where we meet Renji’s study group and Rukia bakes a cake. Buuuut, that one was getting way too long in the tooth, and was riddled with problems that I’ve just begun to solve. Then I remembered I had a fic I wrote a beginning for, but no middle or ending because I just couldn’t figure it out. And I realized that this would be perfect for it! So sorry if that’s a cop out, I didn’t realize the other fic wasn’t going to work within the timeline until friday, so I needed to find a shorter solution. It still took awhile to make the two ideas work together and actually write the middle and ending if that counts! Also, you get a free Orihime out of the deal, so that’s nice! This is my first time writing for her so let me know what you think! Also, I all admit this one is a little crackish, especially for Rukia.

Takiyaki Is NOT Communication

Inoue Orihime was very much enjoying sleeping in on her day off from the bakery, when she heard a knock at the door. Who could be here this early in the morning on a Sunday? She wondered, as she tried to rub the sleepiness out of her eyes. She had just begun to yawn rather loudly and stretch out her limbs when she heard yet another more vigorous knock.

“Coming!” She yelled, throwing on a sweater over her pajamas. She went over and looked through the peep-hole on her door.

"Rukia!” She exclaimed, throwing the door open wide, “I didn't know you were in town. Come in, come in! What brings you here?" Kuchiki Rukia stood in the doorway looking more serious than Orihime had ever seen her.

"Orihime….” she said with great gravity, “There is something serious I must tell you. Something so serious that I couldn’t tell you over the phone."

Orihime gasped, “Oh Rukia, are you in danger? Do you need me to call Ichigo?” Orihime immediately reached for the phone in her pocket.

"No!” Rukia said quickly, frantically waving her hands in front of her, “No danger. No physical danger anyway… And I’m afraid this is not something he can handle,” she crossed her arms again, “Plus he'd probably just make fun of me, anyway…"

Orihime looked at her friend kindly, "I'm sure that's not true,” then she tapped her chin in thought, “Well, okay, it's probably a little true, depending on what the problem is… But he would still help you out afterwards!"

"I'm afraid it's beyond his skills. You see, Orihime, I...” Rukia paused for dramatic effect, “...have a dark secret…"

"Oh my… Um… Do you want to sit down?" Orihime asked, waving her hand towards the couch.

"Perhaps that would be best," Rukia nodded seriously, entering the apartment. Rukia sat down heavily on the couch. Orihime shut the door, and sat down gently next to her. She patiently waited while Rukia worked up her courage. Finally, Rukia spoke.

"Orihime… I think… I might be in love with Renji."

Orihime continued to sit with anticipation. When Rukia said no more, Orihime realized that she was finished.

"Oh? I mean, oh! Really?! W-what a surprise! I never would have guessed!"

Rukia turned towards her friend and began speaking rapidly, “I know, right? I mean, I know the guy's hot, I do have eyes, and it’s pointless to pretend otherwise,” she stated matter of factly, “And okay, maybe I had a crush on him before, and maybe MAYBE I dreamed about him occasionally even during the separation… But!” she crossed her arms now, “It was a pointless and silly little crush! I told myself as much, so I did my best to forget about him,” Rukia looked down, her brows knitted together, “But ever since we got back together again, the feelings came back little by little. So even when I tried to push them down, tell myself it’s pointless to get wrapped up in a silly crush again, he would do something or say something that was just so him, that I would find myself falling all over again. And finally all those moments kept piling up, so that my feelings kept getting stronger and stronger until… Uuuuugh…" Rukia covered her face with her hands, "This is so stupid…"

"No, no, Rukia! It’s not stupid!” Orihime said, waving her hands quickly. She began to rub her friend on the back soothingly, “I think it's great that you are able to admit your feelings to yourself. I think it is very mature of you."

Rukia looked up at her friend between her fingers, "Really?"

"Yes, really. It can be…hard to face your true feelings, and I think you are very brave to do it. And… I'm glad you told me."

"Oh…Oh Orihime…” Rukia said, putting her hands down again, “Thank you, Orihime, but…"

“Anyway, now that you know, what would you like to do about it?” Orihime quickly asked, pushing the conversation along. Rukia gave her friend an unconvinced look, and Orihime returned it with a pleading one. Rukia sighed. She’d let it go for now.

“That is the question…” she said slowly, “I’m not entirely sure. S-should I tell him?”

"Well,” Orihime began, “that's completely up to you. Do you want to tell him?"

"Normally, no, that's why I didn't tell him before,” Rukia said quietly, “I… I like what we have, and I don't want to mess it up by getting greedy… but… and I know this sounds absolutely crazy…"

"Yes?" Orihime asked patiently.

"I think he might like me too," Rukia finally said.

Orihime was more ready with her exaggerated reaction this time. "Ooooh! You think? Wow! Amazing!"

"Right?!" Rukia exclaimed, she began talking rapidly again, "I know it's a long shot, especially with all those girls over at the Sixth Division fawning over him everytime he so much as walks by in that flower bath robe of his…but…" Rukia got a little quiet, "he's been acting differently lately. He gives me compliments now. Not just when I wear something extra special for a festival, but even when I so much as wear a new hair clip, he notices. In the past, I would sometimes see him staring at me out of the corner of his eye for no reason at all. I would look up at him, and he used to immediately look away…but now he just doesn't?! I look up at him, and now he just stares me straight in the eye, smiles a little, and then slowly turns away. We would always meet up at events, but now he offers to walk me there and back. It's almost like…it feels like he's trying to tell me he likes me, without telling me."

"Oh…" Orihime said slowly and thoughtfully, "why do you think that is?"

"I don't know! Maybe he’s not sure I like him back. Or maybe he still feels like he needs to impress my brother. But maybe…” Rukia sighed, “maybe it's because I've been so busy and in a bit of a slump since Captain Ukitake died, and he doesn't want to push me into a relationship before I'm ready.”

Orihime thought about this. While it was pretty clear to her, and the rest of their friend group that Renji liked Rukia, she did have to admit that it had taken them awhile to figure out that Rukia liked him back, so that was a possibility. Rukia showed her affection in less than ordinary ways, ways that usually involved shouting. However, Renji knew Rukia a lot longer than any of them, so it’s unlikely that her unorthodox way of showing affection would faze him.

Orihime thought some more. It could be the brother thing… Orihime didn’t get it fully herself, but she had heard about it a bit from Rukia. Apparently Soul Society had this whole class system thing that didn’t allow Renji to even talk to Rukia until he was made Vice Captain. Still… from what she saw, Renji got along quite well with his captain/Rukia’s brother, so she doubted that this would be a problem anymore…

The last one was….hard. Rukia had been very busy since her Captain’s death. Her texts had become pretty sparse, so much so that Orihime and Ichigo barely heard from her anymore. The slump thing could easily be connected. Rukia often became a work-a-holic when she was trying to avoid things like thinking about her feelings. But if Rukia was here, presently with her, and asking Orihime’s advice on her feelings about Renji, then that means she isn’t avoiding them anymore. She’s ready to move forward.

“All of those are possible of course,” Orihime began, “But if you’re ready to talk about it, then perhaps that means you are ready to tell him.”

Rukia thought about this, “Yes. Yes, I think so too. Thank you, Orihime.”

“Of course! So how do you want to go about telling him?”

“Yeah, that’s the other problem… I’m not sure I’m ready to say all my feelings for him out loud yet. I think I would just jumble them up.”

“Okay, that’s no problem! You could just write them down!”

“Y-yeah! I could do that!” Rukia agreed. Then she deflated again, “But I don’t just want to hand him a note though, that’s pretty embarrassing too…”

“Maybe you could put it with something else? Like sort of a gift and card combo?”

“Oh yeah! That could work! In fact…” Rukia began, getting a scheming look on her face, “Maybe I could cook him something and then stick the message inside of it! Like a hidden message!”

“Wow!” Orihime exclaimed, “That’s a great idea, Rukia!”

“Yeah!!! Oh, but…his favorite food is takiyaki… Can you stick a message in that?”

“Hmmm, maybe but…takiyaki has a filling for a center,” Orihime reasoned, tapping her chin, “Your message might get lost in that.”

“Oh…yeah…I guess that’s true.”

“Although….” Orihime began, thinking hard.

“Yeah?”

“What you could do is make a bunch of mini takiyaki, fill all but one, put the message in that one, and then stick that one on top. Then when he opens it up, he gets the message!”

“Oh!” Rukia exclaimed, smiling. She hopped up off the couch, “Oh that could work! Thank you, Orihime! I’ll try that!”

Orihime smiled happily along with her friend, “Glad to help, Rukia!” She got off the couch too. “I actually got some supplies to make takiyaki if you want any help.”

“Yes please! This is going to be great!” Rukia said, with newfound determination as they headed towards Orihime’s kitchen, “Renji better look out, because these are going to be the best takiyaki he’s ever seen! He may or may not love me, but he WILL love our takiyaki!” Orihime laughed.

“Yeah!” She agreed.

__________________________________

"I present to you,” Rukia began dramatically to Renji, whom she met up with later that day. They were in the Sixth Division mess hall which was nearly always empty in the mid afternoons, “homemade takiyaki, made by yours truly!"

Renji raised an eyebrow at her. While he had tasted Rukia’s cooking since the separation, and it wasn’t bad, it was also clear she did it extremely rarely.

"With help from the wonderful Orihime!" Rukia finished with a dramatic flourish.

"There it is," Renji said, "Well that does boost my confidence in the quality, if not the flavor."

"H-hey! I could give it to someone else you know!" Rukia said, reaching to remove the plate, but Renji grabbed ahold of it, and held it securely closer to him.

"Uh uh! Nope! You said they’re mine, so they're mine!" Renji picked up the top takiyaki and examined it carefully, “Hmmmm…. Crispy on the outside, and soft in the center, good good…”

“But of course!” Rukia said triumphantly.

Renji gave the takiyaki an experimental sniff, “Nice aroma as well…”

“The nicest, I’d say!”

“Hmmm,” He said thinking, “but…”

“W-what is it?” Rukia asked with a sudden sense of dread.

“You went kind of light on the filling, especially on this one,” Renji said, giving the takiyaki a light squeeze, “Did you forget to fill it, maybe?”

“J-Just try it already!” Rukia said with nervous frustration.

“Okay, okay!” Renji chuckled. He took the mini takiyaki in both hands, and shoved the entire thing into his mouth. He then immediately choked.

__________________________________

“It was very nice of you to leave a note for your friend, Rukia, but this is why it’s important we tell people before we put non-edible items in food,” Captain Isane said.

“How was I supposed to know he was going to stuff the entire thing into his mouth?!” Rukia exclaimed, while rubbing Renji’s back. They were sitting in the Fourth Division Emergency Room since Rukia had used shunpo to get them both there after Renji had started choking.

“Why wouldn’t I? How was I supposed to know you had stuffed a wad of paper in there? What’s it say anyway?” Renji asked, reaching for where it had fallen on the floor after it had been successfully hacked up.

“W-wait! Don’t touch that!” Rukia said, snatching it up.

“What? Why not?!”

“B-because! It’s dirty!

“Then why did you grab it?”

“I…I….” Rukia suddenly looked very uncomfortable. She stared at the note, crumpled and wet, in her hands. She went very quiet. Isane took the hint and decided it was high time she excused herself.

“Well, I have other patients I need to check on, so I’ll be going now. As long as you're feeling better, you’re free to go, Vice Captain Abarai. I’ll send in someone to give you your emergency room dispatch papers.” And with that, she was gone. Renji stared at Rukia. Rukia continued to stare at the wad of wet paper in her hands, looking a little defeated. Renji sighed.

“I guess it was probably pretty important, huh? What you wrote on that note?”

“Yeah…”

“Something that's kind of hard to say out loud?”

“Something like that…”

“Ah…” Renji said, looking up at the ceiling, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked back at her again, “Sorry, I ate your note, Rukia.”

“It’s okay…it…was a stupid idea anyway.”

“Yeah, maybe not your smartest plan," he chuckled, "but it was definitely one of your tastiest! The takiyaki surrounding the note was really good, even without the filling!”

“Really? You liked it?”

“Oh yeah! For sure! Heck, if the rest of the division didn’t eat them while we were gone, I’d love to finish them!” Renji said.

“Oh yeah? Yeah, hopefully they didn’t…” She finished quietly. Rukia continued to stare at the note in her hands. It was utterly ruined. Renji sighed and walked over to her, He cupped his hands around hers.

“Hey…” He began gently, soothingly. Rukia finally looked at him, “It’s okay, y’know? You can try again,” he said, his thumbs gently caressing her hands, “I’ll still be here. I’ll always be here, whenever you're ready. So don’t worry about it, alright? We can try again.”

Rukia stared into Renji’s eyes, and he stared right back. They were soft and warm. Rukia felt her heart drive straight up into her throat, drop off its bags and settle down. Clearly it lived there now, hung up curtains and everything.

“Renji…I-"

"A-alright, Vice Captain Abarai, here are your dismissal forms," Hanataro said as he entered the room. He looked up, "O-oh Rukia! You’re here too! It's nice to see…" his eyes fell upon their joined hands, "Waaah! I'm sorry! I'm interrupting!" Renji sighed and let go of Rukia’s hands.

"Heh… Your timing is impeccable as always, Hanataro," Renji chuckled derisively, "here give me the paperwork to sign."

"Ah, okay, sorry!" Hanataro said. As Renji signed the paperwork, Rukia felt the tension building inside her. She took a couple of deep breaths, trying to steel herself for what she wanted to say. Finally, Renji finished signing his paperwork and handed it back to Hanataro who apologized profusely again. Rukia had enough of her mind left to remember to tell him not to worry about it, and that she will talk to him later. He thanked her and left. Then she and Renji were alone again and the tension jumped through the roof.

Finally Renji said, “Okay, well we better hurry if we want to be able to eat the takiyaki before someone else does.” He gathered up his paperwork and started heading towards the door. But Rukia stood firm.

“R-Renji!” Rukia said as firmly as she could. Renji stopped and turned towards her. She was standing very rigid, but was also slightly shaking with nervous energy.

“Yeah?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“I- What if- We should go eat! Together!”

“Yeah, we’re going to go eat the takiyaki…”

“No, I mean….” Rukia stopped and closed her eyes. She slowly breathed in and out, calming herself. She opened her eyes again and glared at Renji.

“Renji!” she nearly shouted at him.

“Y-yeah?” he asked nervously, taking a step back.

“Will you go out with me to a fancy restaurant in a romantic way?!” She demanded while pointing her finger at him. Her ears burned. Renji blinked.

“I-”

“If not, that is okay!” she continued just as firmly, “Our friendship is very important to me, and I hope we can remain that way!”

“Good, but-”

“If you need time, that is also okay!” Rukia said remaining firm, but she was starting to shake again, “Being friends with someone who you know has romantic feelings for you when you do not feel the same way back can be stressful! So if you need time away, I…I…underst-”

“Rukia!” Renji said, closing the distance between them and stilling her shaking shoulders with his larger hands, “Rukia…” He said again, more gently, one of his hands moving up her neck, his thumb gently caressing her cheek, “Of course I’ll go to the restaurant with you.”

“In…in a romantic way?” Rukia asked, uncertainly.

“Uh yeah, idiot,” he chuckled warmly, “What other way would I mean?”

“I mean…we’ve eaten out a lot before so I…just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. That this is romantic and that you are okay with that,” Rukia said firmly. Her face was going a little red too now.

“Of course, I’m okay with it! I’ve…always been okay with it. Are you okay with it?” he asked, looking at her with some concern, “You’ve been through a lot within these past couple of years, are…are you sure you’re ready?”

“Of course, I’m sure! I’m the one who asked you out, idiot!” Rukia said, sounding resolute again, “I wouldn’t ask, unless I was sure!” Rukia put her hands on top of his, “I- I want to go out with you, Abarai Renji, and to do romantic things with you specifically!” She said, nodding firmly.

“Oh! I uh…good! That-that’s good!” Renji had become fully aware that his ears were now burning. He coughed, “So um…did you have anything in mind? For the restaurant, I mean!”

“Well, I’ve been to a couple with Niisama, but they all tend to be pretty stuffy. I don’t know if I could relax in those…”

“Hmmm, good point,” Renji said. He thought quickly, “Oh!!! Kira took me and some of the guys to a bar once that was pretty fancy! Not the captain’s level of fancy, though.”

“Sounds perfect! It’s right in between, “Rukia nodded, “Now more importantly, how was the booze?”

“Oh pretty good. Fancy enough to have some of the more fancy drinks, but not so fancy that you can’t get wasted on others.”

“Oh nice! You should have shown them to me sooner!”

Renji laughed, “Yeah probably, I was just waiting for a special occasion…” He said, looking at her warmly. Rukia nodded. She gave his hands a meaningful squeeze before removing them. She then gave his arm a tug.

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” She said, enthusiastically, “That booze ain’t going to drink itself! Plus I want to try out the fancy drinks too!”

“Alright! Alright!” Renji chuckled. They exited the room together and began to walk down the Fourth Division Emergency Room halls. When they made it outside, the night sky was crisp and clear.

“Hey,” Renji began.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for asking me out. To be honest, I’ve liked you for a long time, like a really long time. And I figured out more recently, that you liked me too, but well…” Renji sighed and looked down, “After what happened to Captain Ukitake…well I saw how that affected you. How busy and tired and sad and stressed you were, and I…” he turned to look at her again, “well I wanted to support you anyway I could! But I wasn’t sure that romance was what you needed from me,” he looked down again and began rubbing the back of his neck, “And I didn’t want you to feel bad if you didn’t want or just weren't ready for a romantic relationship. So I tried to do my best to be there for you but also let you know that if that is something you did want,” he took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes, “that I’d always be here for you.”

“Ah…” Rukia breathed, “So that was it. That’s what I thought.”

“Yeah…sorry, I didn’t say that before.”

“Idiot, what are you apologizing for? You were trying to be considerate!” Rukia fussed at him, “Still…know in the future, you can always just talk to me about it. No more of this beating around the bush, alright?”

“Yeah…” Renji smiled, “Thanks, Ru.”

Rukia felt her ears burn a little at the nickname, “Idiot, w-what are you thanking me for! Now come one before there isn’t any booze left!” She said stomping off.

Renji chuckled, as he followed after her, “It’s a bar, Rukia, I doubt they are going to run out.”

“They are if I get there before you and drink it all!” Rukia said, breaking into a sprint.

“What?! Hey, you don’t even know where it is!” Renji said, sprinting after her.

“My shinigami alcohol sense will tell me!”

“That’s not even a real thing, Rukia! Hey, get back here!”

They raced each other all over the Seireitei. Soul King only knows if they ever even made it to that bar. But it matters not, for they were together.

[the-fangirl-diaries]

92 Thoughts I Had While Watching: A Royal Affair (2012)

Guess I’m learning Danish now. 

I have a bad feeling about this ending. 

Been engaged since she was a child, eh? 

Oh, some of it’s in English. 

Hiding behind a tree? How old are you, 12? 

A little socially awkward, but he’s trying, I guess. 

Isn’t he your cousin? 

The town’s a bit of a fixer upper. 

Aww, doggo! Doggos make everything better. 

Oh, no. Politicians. 

Okay, apparently she’s the Queen Dowager. 

Books under Danish censorship? Guess I’d better throw mine out. 

Girl! You’ve barely known him for a day! 

And she plays piano, too? I say she’s a keeper. 

What? You don’t like it?! 

“Move your fat little thighs?” ~ An actual quote. 

“Oh, so you humiliate me and now you wanna--?” ~ Caroline, probably. 

And next thing you know, he’s with someone else. Figures. 

And she’s pregnant. 

“A true queen delivers with silence and dignity.” ~ An actual quote. 

“ARE YOU PUSHING THIS BABY OUT? I DON’T THINK SO!” ~ Caroline, definitely. 

Wait, as soon as she gives birth, you leave for a year? Nice. *eye roll* 

Apparently believing in equal rights is wrong. 

You don't need a doctor, eh? Good sir. Your mood swings say otherwise. 

How to earn my trust and friendship: quote books.

Yes, make sure the dog is taken care of. 

The dress she's wearing looks like Elizabeth Swann's. 

“You want them to cheer or you'll jump in the canal? Okay, who's stopping ya?” ~ Johann, maybe. 

The king published a poem about the size of someone's derriere? M’kay. 

Look, in his defence, I'd be crazy signing papers all day, too. 

Hi. The only word I understood.

Taking a detour, are we, your majesty? 

She's not your mother! If she were, she would slap you.

Fencing? This just got interesting. 

Forget Grey’s Anatomy. There’s a hot doctor right here. 

Yes, my mood definitely needs improving. *wink wink* 

And you share a love of books and travelling the world? Soulmates! 

That awkward moment when you take your patient riding in the country air and you see a dead man on a wooden horse. 

I think if an expert in the field suggests something, like, say, a cure for a deadly disease, you'd do well to hear him out. 

So the cure worked and you need to administer it in hospitals but you're all worried about money? 

Sitting on a bench together unchaperoned while talking about life. Very romantic. 

‘Two bros, one in a bathtub, and one sitting down, cause they're not gay.’

You don't want your town smelling like waste? Seems like a good law. 

Making doggo an honorary member of the council? Again, good idea. 

Boy, I wish they still had balls and galas nowadays. 

The. Flirting!! The. Eye. Contact. 

They were worried about the age difference. Where is it? I don’t see one. 

She wants you to come to her chambers? For what – oh. OH!!! 

Wow, that was…. okay. I need some water, stat! 

They want Smallpox inoculation? Carriages to drive people who've had too much to drink? A home for orphaned children? Better treatment for peasants? Honestly, these are perfectly reasonable laws, so why are the council rejecting them?

 Of course they want to conspire against the doctor because he has good ideas and because he's German? I didn’t think that sort of thing started for a few more centuries. 

 Yes! Good for you for standing up for yourself and your friend. 

Um, you're just gonna smell the sheets? Not what I would do, but sure, whatever. 

A new TLC show: I'm Pregnant With the King's Physician's Baby. 

Hide the evidence by sleeping with him. Good plan, other than he doesn't like sleeping with her because of….er…issues. 

Hey, Alexa: Play Tango de Roxanne. 

Oh, so there is a problem with money. I thought it was an excuse. 

Of course the Dowager thinks something's up. And of course the maid who smelled the sheets is going to tell on them. 

Baby's coming!!! 

“We’re a family now.” ~ Caroline, actually. 

*Hits stop* Aww, what a great movie! Time to --

Oh, no. There’s more. *sighs and sits down again.* 

No one’s gonna take the child. This isn’t The Light Between Oceans. 

Yes, Your Majesty, you should stay in the castle until the fire dies down. 

A little boy who escaped a Dutch Trade ship? I forgot it was this time. 

The people are suggesting he’s poisoning the king? What do they know? 

Poor woman hasn’t slept in days, but 

Awww, he’s going to take care of her. 

ALRIGHT, I SEE THE MADS APPEAL NOW! 

YOU TOOK A BLOOD SAMPLE OF HIS - UH, YOUR DAUGHTER? 

YES! Protective Mama Bear mode activated!! 

Family dinner, yay. 

So we’re all hugs now? Great. 

Lady, you’re taking this way out of hand. 

Now everyone wants Johann dead? *groans*

The king may be immature, but he won’t betray his friend. 

Don’t listen to them, no one’s planning on murdering you! 

Hold on, Isn’t that Johann’s friend who’s telling him? 

Yes, come bang on the door and scare the baby, why don’t ya? 

Caroline crying makes me wanna give her a hug. 

She’ll never see her son again? 

So torturing a man for days will get you the answers? 

The king wants to pardon you. 

PLEASE LET THIS ENDING BE HAPPY! 

Or not. *cue ugly crying*

EXCUSE ME! DID YOU JUST CALL THE BOY THE ‘N’ WORD?! 

Have I ever told you how much I wanna slap you? 

What do you mean you’ll see her again soon? 

GREAT, SHE’S DYING, TOO! *More crying* 

The son inherited his father’s temper? Oh, goodie. 

Then again, he was old enough to remember what happened, so I guess I can’t blame him for being angry and hurt. 

The laws were reinstated? Good. 

Well, that certainly was a roller coaster! Probably should have stuck with the happy ending, but I was feeling bold today. Bad decision, me thinks.

[ailishayleywilmar]

Three Wishes

12/10/21--12/11/21

“Hey sweetie, what did you wish for?” her mom says while making lunch for her three kids.

“Oh haha…I can't tell you. Is this a trick?”

“You’ve always been too smart for me Sarah”

“I know mom. I’m off to school, Chad is walking with me like usual”

Her mom smiles.

“You two have a good day. Remember to sit with your brothers after school and i’ll pick you up asap”

Sarah grabs her breakfast sandwich and nods while closing the door. She looks in her notebook where she wrote down specifically what she wished for.

Perfect Boyfriend

Good Skin

New Shoes

She sighs. The new shoes appeared but she’s not sure about the good skin or perfect boyfriend.

“Maybe I'll meet him at school or something. As if anyone at my school could ever be perfect for me” she says to herself. Suddenly she remembers the crystal around her neck and stuffs it down into her shirt. Chad runs up to her then starts walking with her.

“Hey Sarah” he smiles. She smiles back. She’s had a crush on him for so long but that’s why she wished for the perfect boyfriend, she thought maybe somehow he’d be her perfect boyfriend. The rules said she couldn't wish for him to fall in love so that was off the table.

Suddenly they both stop walking. A tall slender black haired boy stands in front of them and looks around lost and confused.

“Hey, you okay?” Chad asks. Sarah stays quiet.

“HI…who are you? Do you know Sarah?”

Chad looks over at Sarah.

“Hi…this is Chad, my neighbor…I’m Sarah if you were looking for me for some reason”

“I’m Marcus. You made a wish for-”

“A wish for an old friend to come back, yeah!”

Marcus smiles despite not understanding.

“Chad, sorry, i didn’t recognize him he’s from my old school and i did my wishes this morning and i didn’t realize they’d work so quickly”

“That’s okay man i’ll let you catch up” he half smiles and walks to school by himself while she stands with Marcus.

“Hey Marcus..um..i know why you’re here and what wish i made but can we just like…gradually go into being boyfriend and girlfriend? You know..pretend for a bit”

“I..yeah i guess so…i was created to be your perfect boyfriend”

“Created?”

“Yeah! The perfect boyfriend doesnt exist so i was created specifically for your wish”

“So you…don't exist really?”

“Nope, I'm just sort of here. If you keep me long enough i’ll become human though”

“Interesting…”

They walk to school together and talk about made up memories just to keep things believable.

After school Chad meets up with Sarah as usual but this time Marcus is clung to her side.

“Hey, did you two have a good day? I hardly saw you”

“Yeah it was good. Sorry about that i was showing Marcus around and stuff”

“Yeah I get it. You have to go sit with your brothers right?”

“Yeah mom’s working a while so i have to go keep them company and wait for her to pick us up. Marcus, do you have a ride home?”

He shakes his head. Chad offers to walk with him.

“I would walk with you but i don't know where i'm going”

“Oh do you not know where your house is yet?”

Marcus hesitates.

“Yeah that’s it i just don't know the town”

“All good man. Sarah, do you think your mom could drive him home? My parents aren’t home otherwise i’d just take him to my house”

“Yeah he can sit with us, that’s okay.”

After a few months of Marcus simply just living with Sarah and her family as if he’s always been her friend they do begin to date and tell people. It seems the wish changed more things than just a random perfect boyfriend. Her family acts like they always knew him meanwhile Sarah has to sit there with the truth. However she finds out that the longer she keeps him around the more human he becomes. Sarah feels bad though having not seen Chad for a while. His parents said he’s been sick.

“Marcus I'm gonna go see if Chad is up to talk yet, okay?”

“Okay hurry back” he smiles. She smiles back and goes next door.

Chad opens the door to her surprise.

“Oh hi. Are you doing better?”

“Oh…um..yeah sure”

Sarah looks at him with concern.

“You don’t seem fine you can talk to me you know”

“Sarah, I'm really fine. I don't want to upset you”

“You won't upset me, just talk to me. We’re best friends”

“Sarah..”

“Chad please i can’t stand that we haven't talked in weeks”

“Sarah im in love with you”

She stops, mouth hanging open, heart racing.

“What?”

Chad sighs.

“You heard me”

“No Chad i didn’t tell me again”

“I said im in love with you”

“Chad I..”

“Don't bother saying anything i know you’re with Marcus and we cant be together and we’re graduating soon so i just…i know it was a waste but at least you know”

Marcus walks up behind Sarah and puts his hand around her waist.

“Oh, Marcus..uh…hey man” Chad says, avoiding eye contact.

“Hey man…feeling better i see”

“Ah yeah..just had a stomach bug or something”

“Right. Sarah, your mom needs you for something. Something about your brothers”

“Oh alright thanks for telling me” She runs back to the house and goes inside. Marcus turns to Chad, losing his smile.

“Hey”

“What’s up dude?”

Marcus glares at him.

“You shouldn’t have shared your feelings”

“Oh you heard that…i mean…i'm sorry man i wasn't trying to like step on your toes but she needed to know”

“Right…”

He walks back to the house slowly and goes inside. Chad is left standing there feeling threatened.

Marcus picks up Sarah's phone and goes to her texts.

Meet me at the park tonight?

Chad: Are you sure that’s smart? Marcus gave me some weird vibes

Lol. It’s fine i promise

Chad: Ok see you tonight but i’ll have to sneak out

Marcus smiles to himself.

“What's up with you, huh?”

“Oh nothing..just thinking about how much i love you”

“You’re so sweet it makes me sick” She kisses his lips gently. He thinks about how much pain he’s going to put her through but it’s worth it.

The next day Sarah wakes up to her mother and Chad’s mother crying in the kitchen.

“Mom?”

“Oh Sarah…you don’t have to go to school today, go on back to bed and we can talk later..”

“Why are you crying and why is Chad’s mom here?”

“Sweetie i don’t know how to have this conversation with you but come sit with us”

She sits down calmly but feels scared about whatever conversation she’s about to have. “Chad snuck out last night and he never came home…they found him in the park”

“Why was he in the park?”

“We don’t know. The police are looking into it.”

“Well i should go check on him”

Her mom grabs her arm.

“Sweetie…”

“What?”

“I don’t think you heard me…They found his body in the park”

She slips back into her chair and stares at the table then laughs.

“No they didn't, he's fine…”

“Sarah..”

“Mom they didn’t…right?”

“Im so sorry honey”

“No..” She begins to cry and breathe heavily trying to catch her breath and process it all. Marcus walks into the room slowly.

“Did you just say they found Chad’s body in the park?”

Sarah whimpers into her mom’s torso.

“Unfortunately yes Marcus”

“Have they found who did it yet?”

“No they’re still investigating”

The investigation takes a few months. Sarah is investigated for the texts in her phone asking Chad to meet her at the park but she swears she never sent them. Marcus is investigated as well but they let him go. Chad goes without justice as they close the case due to no evidence of a murder much to his family’s disappointment. They chalk it up to an unfortunate animal attack. At home Marcus holds Sarah while she cries.

“Hey Sarah…”

“Yeah?” she sniffles.

“I did it you know” he whispers. She moves out of his arms and stares at him.

“Did what?”

“You know”

She swallows.

“Don’t get up Sarah. Don’t say anything.” He waves the knife out from behind him.

“What..What are you planning?”

“I'm thinking we will move after graduation. I want you all to myself”

“I should have gotten rid of you before you became human…before Chad said he loved me..”

“No use regretting your decisions now, dear”

THE END

[cinemasteves]

Eddie teaching reader how to suck him off but reader is all self conscious but it's all cute and sweet

Friendly Favors

eddie munson x reader

notes/warnings: 18+ pls! soft dominant!eddie, swearing, a blowjob, weed & mentions of alcohol

not my gif

Being best friends with Eddie has its perks. Free weed, a ride to school everyday, constant sleep overs and movie nights, the whole nine yards. You both found peace in each other. Him being able to distract you from your house full of younger siblings and parents on the verge of divorce and you being one of the only people to willingly want to be his friend and talk to him. You knew everything about each other. Well, not everything. You'd been keeping a small, silly secret from Eddie, afraid that he'd make fun of you for it for the next few months. The secret? You'd never given a blowjob before. Sure you'd hooked up with guys, but it's never come down to doing that. They always wanted to please you. Which you're not complaining about, but you want to do it at least once so you know what you're doing just in case a guy actually does ask for one.

Tonight was no different than any other Friday night at Eddie's trailer. You two watching some shitty movies and being so stoned you think you're hearing shapes. The two of you giggling about god knows what and talking about literally any and everything.

"Hey Eddie," you giggled "I've got a confessionnnn."

He gave you a concerned look, but laughed along with you. "Lay it on me princess." What came out of your mouth next was not what he was expecting at all.

"I've never.....sucked a guy off." And just like that you realized that the shapes were gone and now you were left horrified awaiting his response.

"Really? Why?" He had a serious, yet intrigued look on his face. Not the response you were expecting.

"I don't know it's just...i've never been asked t— wait...why aren't you making fun of me right now?" you questioned.

"Oh no believe me i'm going to, i'm just curious. So you mean to tell me, that out of all the guys you've hooked up with, none of them wanted a blowjob???"

You shook your head no.

"Freaks. They don't know what they're missing."

"What's it like?" you were expecting him to just explain in detail what happens, but his answer made your stomach flip upside down.

"Want me to teach you? I could use one anyway, been a while." You stared blankly at him for the next couple of seconds before he spoke again, "You don't have to if you don't want to, I just figured we could kill two birds with one stone." He shrugged, sitting back into the couch getting comfy again as if what he just asked you was a simple yes or no question.

"U-Um...sure." You stuttered.

He sat up again and moved closer to where you were sitting, grabbing your arms tightly. "Are you really sure? I don't want you to feel pressured." He's suddenly nervous about this, realizing how this could possibly change your friendship. Sure you guys have shared kisses before, but they were only for dares or if you both were drunk. It didn't bother either of you, and you never had a complaint, he was a phenomenal kisser.

"Yea. Let's do it." He gave you a kiss on your cheek after your response before guiding you to the floor in front of him and you blush at the feeling of being on your knees for thee Eddie Munson. Although this would probably be something you both put in the back of your minds after it's over, you still wanted to please him to your best ability, otherwise you'd never want to show your face here again.

Your nerves began to kick in as he started to undo his belt. The sound of the metals from his rings and belt clinking was something you'd never thought would turn you on. He watches your face in awe, smirking and getting hard at the sight of you on your knees for him. "C'mere for a sec sweetheart." He pulls you up onto his lap so you're straddling him and brushes your hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear. Both of his hands rest on the sides of your face and he slowly pulls you in for a kiss. The cold of his rings clashes with the warmth of your cheeks, sending a shiver down your back, making you unintentionally grind on him. He lets out a hum as he gets fully hard and brings his hands down to your hips to guide your movements for a couple more minutes. Breaking the kiss, his hands come up to cup your face once more.

"As much as I'd love to see and feel you ride me, we have something else to do."

He lifts you up so he can pull down his jeans and boxers as you get back down onto the floor. You look absolutely angelic to him right now, so sweet, somewhat innocent and so, so beautiful. Your eyes widen at his size, causing your nerves to kick in and him to smirk. His hand comes around to your neck, slightly gripping to bring you forward.

"This might sound kinda silly, but just think of it as sucking a popsicle." he explains. "Just spit in your hand first and rub it around to lube it up a little. Kinda hurts if it's dry."

You nod, doing as he says, taking him in your hand, pumping a few times to rub your saliva around before bringing your mouth forward. As your lips wrap around him you hear him groan, causing you to stop, fearing you already did something wrong. "Go ahead, it's okay." You begin to take him deeper into your mouth and as you begin to go back up, your teeth slightly scrape him and he lets out a hiss.

"Oh fuck I'm so sorry. That's so embarassing god I'm sorry, Eddie." You blush in embarrassment as you sit back onto your heels, debating if you should stop. "M-maybe this was a mistake." At this point you're too embarassed to even look at him.

"Relaaaxx, Y/N, I don't expect you to be a porno star your first time. Just...don't use your teeth that's all. I'm okay, all good I promise." He says, rubbing your face to comfort you. You slowly go back to where you were before, and take him in your mouth once more, without teeth of course. This time, you slowly begin to suck him and he immediately grips your hair into a ponytail, wanting to just shove you down, but he just leaves it there, not wanting to take control just yet. You get into a comfortable rhythm and begin to pick up the pace, causing him to let out a moan. "Just like that, sweetheart. Doing so good." You feel his grip on your hair get tighter and his thighs tense up, causing you to hum, which nearly sends him over the edge.

You decide to try and swirl your tongue around as you suck, and boy did that nearly do it too, as he twitches in your mouth and his breath starts to hitch. "K-Keep going. Fuck just like that." His grip is still tight around your hair, tempted to take full control at this point. As if you read his mind, you slowly take all of him into your mouth, reaching the back of your throat causing you to gag. This sensation sends him into outer space, his dick twitches once more, and he lets out the hottest moans as he gets closer and closer to euphoria. A wave of confidence floods through you and you do it again, picking up the pace, adding your hand to the mix to jerk him off as you come up to his tip and direct your focus there. You taste his precum, humming once more.

"So close, sweetheart. Keep going." he begs.

You lock eyes with him as you suck and stroke him for a little longer, getting sloppier and messier each time. "Jesus Christ." His breathing sporadic, legs shaking as he groans and finally releases into your mouth. You swallow every last drop, releasing him with a 'pop' sound and kissing his tip.

"Still gonna make fun of me?" You smirk up at him as you wipe your mouth on your t-shirt.

He pulls up his boxers and brings you off the floor back onto his lap, gripping your jaw to make you look at him, desire in his eyes. "Not if you do that again sometime." He smirks, pulling your face in just milimeters from his, ghosting his thumb over your puffy lips. "So pretty. You did so good." he praises, kissing you gently.

I am melting k bye.

[fabricated-misslieness]

pairing: arthur morgan x male reader

req: no | wc: 2.1k

summary: After Arthur unfortunately loses Boadicea, he’s got to have a mode of transport. With the wagons full, he has to share a horse with someone. That someone happens to be you.

warnings: suggestive, reader blushes and it’s a visible color.

a/n: inspired by Cpt. Monroe and Eagle Flies' hand placement when they ride on the same horse as Arthur. turned out longer than i thought (mainly cause i didn't know where this was going)

Warmth. All you can think about is warmth.

You wanted warmth.

You were in need of it, after riding with the gang for hours at a time in this cold, desolate mountainscape. Why did nature even grow up here? Perhaps to survive in a place it could actually thrive in, just like you once upon a time. You missed it, the wide expanse of desert and rolling tumbleweed, sand beneath your feet and the warm oh… the warm sun. You’d hated it, then, only to be in desperate need of it now.

The sun, ah, she’s only there when you don’t need her.

That was you a few hours ago. Warmth was still plaguing your thoughts, though for a different reason now. At the present moment, it seemed as if you were in abundance of warmth. It was too much, felt like too much, but it was just enough.

Arthur Morgan.

Fucking hell, Arthur Morgan.

His, damn, big hands, big and warm, hooked between the length of your waist and your hip, held you lightly, as if the mere existence of a firmer touch could set you on fire. For the record, even the ghost of firmness, even the tips of one or two of his fingers at a time or the center of his palm gripping harder at your body was enough. God knows what’d happen if he had access to bare skin unlayered by your useless coats.

Arthur Morgan.

His chest hovered right behind you. The large expanse of his broad chest made you aware of his presence, if you weren’t aware of it on your own. You were painfully aware of it.

Silently, you thanked the mountains and cold for covering the fact you were blushing. Though if anyone put a hand to your forehead, they’d think you were sick. You wouldn’t put it past Miss Grimshaw to be concerned even with the cold or her tough love behavior.

There was not much you could distract yourself with, aside from the occasional yipping of a fox or mangled shadow coming into view (it was a weird tree); and you desperately needed something. Least you’d have a settlement to distract yourself with, if you even came across one. You’d been sent out as scouts for a reason. Then again, it’s already been a couple hours or so; you already lost track of time.

Arthur, on the other hand, didn’t seem to think of it much. If he were truly comfortable with you, though, he wouldn’t mind putting his chest to your back. So he was thinking about it, at least a little bit. Although, you thought he was comfortable enough with you. It certainly seemed like it sometimes. What even were you? The two of you?

One moment, you’re under the wide expanse of the night sky, huddled together for a bit of warmth and something more; the next, you’re half-way ‘cross camp from each other, not a thought in your heads about the other. Least, mostly. The spare glances from his seat at the poker table and yours at Pearson's wagon said otherwise.

His grip on your waist comes a little harder now, when his eyes catch another weird shadow. You’re vaguely aware of him peeking from behind your shoulder until you’re fully aware because of his cold breath against your ear. You can see the end of it from your peripheral.

“What do you reckon that is?”

“Hm?” So distracted, you barely registered his words.

“That.” He didn’t seem to notice.

“Oh, um, ‘nother tree?”

It was indeed another tree. Arthur sighed, slumping back down from his alerted position. God, he was tired of scouting. He wouldn’t have taken the duty if he had no qualms with sitting around in the misery and hopelessness of his fellow gang members, or if he had Boadicea for that matter.

Oh, Boadicea… he missed her.

“How’ve you been?” He distracts himself from thoughts of mourning by talking to you, which is exactly what you’ve been avoiding.

“G-Good.”

“Just ‘good’?”

To a certain degree, for varying reasons, “Yeah… just said so.”

Arthur can feel how tense you are under his fingers, and he sees the stiffness of your shoulders. That and the state of the gang after the Blackwater job. You’re not ‘good’, he can tell. “You sure yer good? Or, uh, anythin’ wrong?”

“Nothin’s wrong, Arthur.”

You don’t loosen up in the slightest, so he’s keen on knowing whether you’re really alright. ‘Sides, he knows you. “I've been riding with you for long. I know something’s off.”

“Couple hours?”

“Couple years, more like.” Right.

Arthur moves to continue speaking, to coerce your troubles out of your shut lips, before he is interrupted by a sharp yell. It's inhuman, he learns a second later, when a buck runs across the scape right in front of you. Your horse cries out too and jumps on his hind legs.

"Woah! Steady, steady!"

He has to cling onto your waist to keep himself from falling off as you calm your stead down. The moment ends within a minute, but Arthur clings on all the same.

It's after this that he notices a lot of things, your sharp inhale as the horse stands back on four legs, and the remaining stiffness from your alert pose. Even after, you can't find yourself calming down.

He loosens his grip eventually, and then he notices something else, too.

You sigh in relief once Arthur's grip loosens. Not that you weren't quite fond of it –made you feel rather secure, actually– you were just not in need of the scalding heat that it brought.

"Oh." Arthur breathes out audibly as he comes to a realization.

"Oh, wha-" You stop mid sentence as he grips at your waist hard again. You hate yourself for it, but you will admit that you let out an embarrassingly high squeal.

The squeal would've been higher had Arthur pressed his chest to your back at the same time, although it didn’t seem like you’d have to wait any longer for that, ‘cause he pulled that same gesture only a few seconds after.

"Nothin,” He chuckles, “just, thought that Buck's shout was a man's."

Right, nothing; of course it wasn't 'nothing'. Arthur Morgan had you fooled in one lovely way, but he did not have you fooled this way.

“Say, (y/n), I don’t see so much as a shiver in you.”

“Really?”

His grip tightens around your waist. Surely he’s caught on by now… but if he hadn’t, you weren’t going to reveal it to him any time soon. These thoughts about him, Arthur Morgan and his piercing actions that left you stunned, they weren’t new; yet, he hadn’t discovered their effects on you thus far, and you wanted to keep it that way.

For what? Fear of shame, embarrassment.

Though, it seems you couldn’t avoid that anymore.

“Not a peep of it.”

“I got a… tolerance, to the cold, ‘suppose.”

“Uh-huh,” He affirms at first, nodding his head. The tip of his hat bumps against the back of yours and pushes it forward. The brim of it covers the top of your field of view, urging you to look down just that little bit more. “supposedly, anyway.”

Just what was he planning?

Your eyes find his hands and you swear you can see them tighten. You can certainly feel it, too.

Arthur goes silent, so you do too, thanking whatever God decided to shut him up. His audacious actions hadn’t stopped, but at least you didn’t have his sharp tongue and deep voice to accompany them.

You thought that to be a miracle, his lips zipped shut, but where the absence they left was, his hands took over.

“What’re you doin’, Morgan?” You know what he’s doing, clear as day.

His fingers rub circles along your waist, slow and steady and pressing hard, but not too hard. They hold purpose, supposedly, but purpose you know nothing of.

You’re so focused on his fingers that you don’t notice where he keeps his lips. “Eyes on the road.”

The whisper comes right at your ear, along with the subtle touch of his lip against the shell of your ear. A shiver goes down your spine… so much for that tolerance earlier.

You follow his command, anyway, or at least what you can see of the road through the storm and his distracting actions.

Fucking hell, Arthur Morgan, the things you do to a man.

Focus on the road.

“Yer awfully warm there.”

You can’t focus on the road, not when Arthur’s right there. The cold tip of his nose presses against your warm cheek, and he leans his chin ‘gainst your shoulder. Rather bold of him, you think; then again, he’s done bolder things on occasions where you need less warmth and more breeze.

“...ain’t awful in this d-damned hellscape.”

He chuckles, “Y’got that right.”

You bask in the silence that ensues, and even more, you bask in the warmth of him. The scalding heat, like that of your beloved west’s summer sun, that is Arthur’s touch soon becomes comfortable, nice and cozy, like a campfire.

Oh, sitting by campfires was so warm. But Arthur… he, was warmer.

His cold breath hits you right on the cheek like the kiss of a breeze, which in this snowy circumstance is not what you’re looking for, yet it doesn’t drain the heat from your cheeks. And his hands, phew, they work their way down to your hips, finding a steady grip around them. His pinkies work away on the meat of your…

Eyes… eyes on the road.

“Shit! Woah, woah, steady!”

Suddenly, Arthur is thrown off your horse. You’re barely on it, if it weren’t for your deathly (you hadn’t noticed) grip on the reins.

You’d run into a goddamn tree.

You turn, quickly after settling your horse down, to Arthur. The cowboy’s on his ass, on the ground, sunken in a good fifteen centimeters into the pure white. His entire backside –calfs, thighs, hair and all– is covered in a nice layer of snow.

Horror spreads through your face. This was all your fault-

Then, he laughs. He laughs it off, and you follow suit. He distracted you, you remember that now. If anything, it was his fault. And god, if the sight of him messy like this wasn’t hilarious. His mouth is wide, wide open, and even in this bastard of a storm, he’s laughing loud.

Until he’s not.

Suddenly, he’s coughing, and your concern is back. “Arthur? Arthur, y’alright?”

Clearly, he’s not. “I-khoff” He clears his throat, “I, er, think I swallowed some,” (a lot) “snowflakes.”

And you’re laughing again. It’s only after a lung-full of air that you realize you should get moving. “Get up, cowboy! ‘Fore you freeze your ass off.”

“Not helping me, darlin’?” Yet, he stands up on his own.

“Sure.”

So you go behind him, resist all your urge to touch his ass for longer than you need, and wipe him down. Arthur wipes himself down, too, best he can, but for the most part it’s your labor. Still, you don’t fail to notice the shiver in him, regardless of your swift work.

He turns to you, bashful, when you’ve got most of it off. “Seem to have frozen my ass off anyway.” He clears his throat, and despite that fondling he’d done earlier, rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “Can I take the reins?”

“Um,” You think about it for a mere second. She was your horse, but this was Arthur Morgan. Even if you’d done the same fondlin’, he’d have handled it better than you. Eyes on the road. “sure.”

Arthur settles on your horse, with you behind him. You’re sure why he’s asked for this, a hug or more than that to warm him down, just as he’d once done to you. He needed that warmth, more than you, after all.

After falling into snow, he was extremely cold, not that it wasn’t obvious. You could notice his shivering, with your arms wrapped tight around him; and from the close proximity, it wracked your body almost like it did his. Your hands were cold, too, from wiping him off, so you kept them intertwined to be warmed up and used later. Your chin found refuge on his shoulder, and Arthur could feel you just like you did earlier.

Yet, even with this cold, he felt warm. You’re sure it’s the butterflies of love or the knowing that you were holding the man you oh so adored; but it was also that Arthur was a warm man, big grizzly bear as he was.

You press a kiss to his temple. Arthur seems to lean into it.

“When this is all over, I’m takin’ ya out on a date.”

“Planning on courtin’ me, Arthur?”

“I thought I was already.”

[pansyslut]

your three girls

reader x pansy x hermione x ginny

a/n - part 2 of truth or dare but can be read as a stand alone. i hope this isn’t too confusing because it’s really hard writing for four people. i’m sorry if this is like really bad but four people is really hard

warnings: hella smut, foursome, alcohol, face riding, mutual masterbation, humping, slight mommy kink, degration, praise, thigh riding

requested part two - @cherrysandwiine

the party was in full swing as students from various houses drink away their sorrows or jug in victory. “do you really think she would be down to join us,” pansy asks looking over at you. looking back to hermione, you, ginny, and pansy study the girl sitting far away from you.

with liquid courage running through your vains, you stand up and make your way over to her. plopping down on the couch next to her, you throw your legs into her lap. “hi ‘mione,” you say dragging out her name. she studies you for a moment and grins, “y/n i know you’re a horny drunk,” she says pausing to laugh, “but i’ve told you i’m not fucking you when you’re intoxicated. as tempting as you look,” she says mumbling the last part under her breath.

you nod in understanding. that was part of the reason you had trusted hermione in the first place. she was the first girl you had ever experimented with and you never doubted her being your first. you liked how uptight she was until you were behind closed doors. as much as she’d like to believe otherwise, she was practically putty in your hands. she always craved your touch whether it be in pent up arousal or just needing to be comforted by a friend.

taking a piece of her hair and twirling it with your fingers, you lean up close to her ear and place a kiss on her neck. “i’ve missed you, ‘mione. you’re making this extremely hard with the way you look tonight. let me make you feel better” you say with an innocent tone. you can see the wheels turning in her head, wanting so badly to say yes.

she lets out a huff and lays her head in the crook of your neck. “i’ve missed you too, y/n. i’ve been meaning to talk to you actually. rumor has it that you’re dating parkinson,” she says with a slight bitter tone. letting out a laugh, “funny you should mention it, i’ve been meaning to talk to you about it too. and it’s not just pansy- i’m seeing ginny too. we’re all together. we were all actually sorta thinking that... you know... you would like to join us one night?”

a small smirk makes it’s way across her face. “i would love to y/n,” she says placing a kiss below your ear. letting out a huff, you feel the anxious feeling leave your body. hermione always was good at making you feel at ease with her. you only hoped that your girls would feel the same way about her.

you spend the rest of the night chatting with her and catching up. ever since the night you, pansy, and ginny slept together pansy’s possessiveness kicked in and was worried about you and hermiones relationship. of course, she knew you would never cheat but you respected and understood her boundaries nonetheless.

being with ginny and pansy was a different feeling than when you were with hermione. hermione felt like comfort and easy, but with ginny and pansy you were constantly on your toes. you loved how unpredictable you felt when you three were together. although it wasn’t as serious yet, you would never do anything to intentionally hurt either of your girls. that’s why you were shocked when they brought up inviting hermione for a night when your were all laying in bed.

you all had laid down your rules and boundaries making sure that all three of you were comfortable. now a few days later, you lay in bed with ginny and pansy on each of your sides while surfing the tv. hearing a soft knock, the three of your heads shoot up and ginny being closest to the door, opens it to reveal hermione.

“um hey,” she says shuffling her feet with her eyes glued to the floor. a part of you wanted to let out a laugh at the gryfindor girls newfound shyness but you didn’t want to make her more anxious than she already seemed to be.

“you can come lay with us,” pansy says speaking up. “we were just about to watch our baking show. miss y/n over here,” she says poking your side, “is convinced she’s going to suddenly become some hardcore soccer mom when we have kids and whip out all her hidden skills she seems so keen on having,” pansy jokes lightheartedly, trying to ease the tension.

you shake your head at her jabs at you, “well ‘mione has said my baking tastes exquisite- thank you very much.” you feel the bed dip beside you as hermione and ginny join you as you spend a moment intertwining the four of you, making a mess of limbs tied together. “actually y/n,” hermione joins in, “i was only saying that to be nice. i fed the rest to ronald- merlin knows that boy will eat anything.”

scoffing, “i cannot believe the three of you,” you say shaking your head at them. “just you wait ‘til i end up on master chef, just you wait.”

your laughter seems to die down after that as you all lay in each other’s embrace, cuddled together closely. leaning to your other side, you nudge yourself into ‘miones shoulder and start plastering kisses down her neck and upper breasts. you already feel her breathing increasing, coming out short in anticipation. you take notice that ginny has also start sucking on her other nipple with ‘miones fingers clutched in her hair.

sitting up to straddle her, pansy scotches closer to the side you had left as you grab her hands and place them on your waist. lifting your shirt off, you keep her hands on your waist as you swivel your hips seductively. running your own hands down your body making a show out of it, you grip your breasts while fasting your pace on her center. you swore you could almost feel both of your pussys pulsing against one another between both of your shorts.

the three of you lay around hermione almost bending to her will, trying to shower her with pleasure. kissing your way down her stomach and pause with your lips on her center while looking up at her with a smirk. the look in her eyes were silently begging and even though you knew you wouldn’t get a verbal plead from her, you took what you got.

kissing more up her thighs, you slide off her panties and throw it across the room. running your tongue along her lower lips, you feel her fingers slide through your hair while slightly tugging your head further down.

parting her lips with your tongue, you hear pansy whisper in her ear “beg for y/n. beg for her tongue and show her how eager you are for her. go on, bun.” you knew what pansy’s praising was doing to her. her thighs clench around your head as she lets out a long whine. “please, y/n i need to cum so bad. i- i missed your tongue so much baby.”

“sit on my face,” you say looking up at her. your three girls all have a shocked look but ginny starts manhandling hermione into the new position nonetheless. now, you lay on with your head pressed against pansy’s upper thighs, laying down on her with hermione hovering over you while facing the opposite direction in a heated make out with ginny.

ginnys hands guide hermione to sit on you as you clutch her thighs and dig your tongue into her instantly. the room is immediately filled with all of your moans as mione sits on your face, ginny sits atop of your center grinding against you, and pansy starts toying with her own clit.

part of you felt so overwhelmed but the other felt like nothing than ever before. you felt a sense of euphoria coursing your body with every sense heightened. your tongue slows down accidentally as ginny starts quite literally jumping on you, begging for friction.

hermione has none of this as she just shoves her ass further in your face. letting go of one of her thighs, you reach around to pansy and kneed one of her breasts, wanting to give her more attention. patting hermiones thigh, she looks down at you in questioning but you grab her hips and force her to sit now facing pansy.

shoving your face back into her heat, pansy and hermione are now fully making out as mione fingers her slowly. hearing pansy let out a loud moan, “fuck baby ride mommies face just like that. our little cum slut, aren’t you?”

slurping up all of her juices, you fasten your pace as you feel all four of you reaching your climaxes together. ginny bounces on you while mione rides your face and fucks pansy with her fingers.

“fuck gin, hump mommas pussy. you look so good, bunny,” you hear pansy praise from behind you. letting out a loud moan, hermione feels you vibrate under her, sending her over the edge along with you.

after feeling hermione slump against you and sluggishly pull off, pansy and ginnys moans join in and you knew your two girls were cumming. looking up to ginny, you see her face scrunched up as she’s now riding your thigh and pansy thrashes her hips off hermiones hand.

“hump my hand, pans. fuck- you look so hot,” hermione speaks up, praising pansy’s before she slows down her movements to a stop. you all lay there for a long moment as your bodies buzz highly. finally, the four of you crash into the pillows and nuzzle into each other’s touch while trying to catch your breath. even though your climax has now come and gone, you lay there with a small grin thinking about how right it felt. you and your girls laying together, cuddling while murmuring sweet things as each of you drift in and out of consciousness.

“we definitely need to do that again,” ginny says practically speaking each of your thoughts. you all break out in sleepy giggles and nod as hermione places a kiss on your shoulder. “definitely.”

[shelly-ya]

Jealousy

It was safe to say the reason you joined toman was because of him. You may have been one year older than him but you still liked him. Manjiro "mikey" sano the captain of the bike gang Tokyo manji gang. But he never seemed to notice you other than the resident medic of the crew. You patched up the gang more times than you can count. Going on for some time now you were beginning to realise that your one sided crush will just be that one sided. You realised it was time you moved on otherwise you will not be able to have a family waiting on him. That's when the unexpected happened.

It was the end of a meeting and almost all of the gang already scattered and were going their separate ways. It was to the point where you and chifuyu matsuno first division vice captain were deciding to leave as well.

"Name Chan need a ride home?" He asked pulling his bike key from his pocket.

"Yeah It is getting really late I could use a ride home." You say following him to his bike.

"Um excuse me kids can you show me where the station is?" A drunken slur was heard behind you both when you looked behind you say a fairly young man dressed in a white dress shirt and black dress pants. But what was shocking about this man was that he was profusely bleeding from his forehead like he hit his head really hard. He was shaky on his feet. "I really need to go home" he slured out again.

"Oh my mister you don't need a train you need an ambulance." You said putting you hands to your mouth. "Please allow me to tend to your wounds I have first aid supplies on me right now." Showing him to sit on the stair leading to the shrine. He sat in a way he was allowing for the others to pass by. "Sorry chifuyu do you mind?"

"No go ahead." Continuing to tend to the man's wound you cleaned, disinfected and bandaged the man forehead.

"You're really pretty" he whispered making you embarrassed. "Ah I'm sorry my behaviour is not appropriate at the moment." Rubbing his hand behind his head.

"It's ok. Ok there you go all finished. The train station is over that way" you said pointing in the general direction of the station.

"Thanks..." He said wobbling to his feet. "Thanks alot"

"No problem." You said running towards chifuyu "sorry for making you wait fuyu" you said to the blonde who was lounging on his bike waiting.

"Eh I know you. Can't see someone hurt. Let's go" he said handing you the spare helmet and starting up the bike while you hopped on. Heading out you both see a few of the captain's now leaving as well as Mikey among them. He seemed to be lost in thought.

"Bye guys see you tomorrow" you yell waving to them before holding to chifuyu again.

"Bye!" Was the collective voices you heard.

"What's wrong Mikey?" Draken asked

"Hmm nothing" he answered "let's go"

"Yess sir!" Was the reply from the rest of the crew who were around him.

Next toman meeting:

The meeting just ended and you were about to hitch a ride home with someone. When you looked up you saw the man from the other day who you helped, he was holding a giant bouquet of red roses. He looked as though he was looking for someone. When he made eye contact with you his face lit up. Pointing to yourself you mouthed "me" he nodded his head vigorously to show he was looking for you. You walked directly towards him hesitantly with your hands behind your back.

"Hi?" You said cautiously

"Hi. I don't know if you remember me from the other night. You helped patched me up when I was bleeding from my head." He said

"Uh yeah I remember you. How can I help you?"

"I am actually here to give you these as an apology and thank you for helping me." Handing you the massive bouquet earning you an embarrassed look.

"Um you didn't need to bring the whole flower shop to thank me" you replied taking the bouquet.

"I guess you're right, I did overdo it a little he blushed scratching the back of his neck. "Um my name is yuki, yuki nakamura. And I would like to have coffee with you some time." He said bowing pulling a card from his pocket and handing you it. "I am seventeen and I am sure you are about sixteen right. Um I mean you don't need to worry about age differences and I am rambling, uh call me sometime to set up the coffee date."

"Name it's time to leave!" Your captain yelled out to you from his CB250T with the others having an amused look on their faces. Mikey on the other hand looked annoyed. "I'm taking you home today" you took the card from his hand.

"Thanks Nakamura kun for the flowers and the invite. I have to leave now. I will message you later tonight" you said running towards the guys waiting for you. Approaching the circle of commanders as they looked like they were about to burst into laughter any moment.

"So roses huh?" Feeling a hand ruffle your hair. Looking through your messed up bangs at Draken who was smirking.

"Draken your messing my hair up" you whined pushing his hand off. Securing the roses and the call card yuki nakamura gave to your back pack you climbed behind a super annoyed Mikey who was not even talking. Wrapping your arms around his waist he drove off without a good bye to the others.

"What's up with the captain?" Angry asked the others softly but loud enough to hear.

"He looks like he is mad about something" mitsuya piped up.

"Yeah but what?" Smiley asked

"You're all still kids you wouldn't understand. Here it is the one person who lived and breathed Mikey getting attention from another man. Obviously he is jealous and he has it really bad." The fifth division captain muto spoke up.

"Nah Mikey jealous? No way" smiley spoke up.

"Name Chan really liked Mikey san and everyone knows about it. But they realised Mikey would never like them back, they had to move on." Chifuyu stated.

"And luck would have it. This guy they helped bandage up has taken a liking to them." Draken continued.

"Man Mikey san got a harsh wake up call" mitsuya said.

Meanwhile with Mikey:

The ride was a fast silent one. Mikey looked like he would have rather been doing something else than be dropping you home. Holding onto him because he was really putting the metal to the pedal as though he was in a race. You couldn't wait to reach home quickly and alive. You always enjoyed when he volunteered to take you home but you realised you needed to move on. You realised he would never want you the way you wanted him. You reached your place and pushed yourself off his bike. Giving him a quiet thank you before you began to walk off. However you were stopped by Mikey holding onto your wrist.

"that man is he your boyfriend?" He asked

"Not yet. But he did ask me out on a coffee date." You replied not looking back. He let go of your hand with a click of his tongue.

"Just make it to the next meeting on time. Don't let that man distract you to much" Mikey said driving off. You were in tears. What were you hoping for? For him to say don't go out with the guy or that he liked you and wanted you two to finally be a couple. He didn't say he like you he was more concerned about his gang. You just stood there crying until you felt drops fall on you. The rain began washing away the tears from your face. God/ Buddha alone knows how long you stood there crying away the pain.

The next day:

You had come down with a cold. You messaged nakamura kun to let him know you would have to cancel. He asked where you lived so he could bring medicine for you to take. Having second doubts you still sent your details to him because you didn't want to bother the others. Hearing a knock at your door you dragged yourself to the front door opening it expecting to see yuki nakamura however it was Draken, mikey, takamitchey, mitsuya, chifuyu, hakkai, smiley and angry. They brought you soup and medication for you to help you get better.

"I didn't expect you guys here. You might catch my cold guys" you say dragging yourself back inside. Then feeling your feet leave the floor. You were in Draken's arms bridal style.

"I'll take you back to bed. Smiley throw the soup out in a bowl for them and mitsuya read the dosage in medication we have to give them. You don't worry your pretty little head. You took care of all of us we are here to take care of you now." Draken said taking you back to bed and placing a cold compress on your feverish head. After drinking the soup you and taking the medication you lay back in bed resting yourself. You could hear the boys taking turns to take care of you. Forgetting completely that you asked yuki nakamura to visit you.

To be continued...

@angelsdevils

@stxrmylxve

[cazimagines]

A Freudian Slip - The Sequel

Synopsis: Zemo was always getting on your nerves. Yes, he was hot and god you were attracted to him but he was also your enemy. After what happened last night you were trying your best to pretend it never happened however Zemo isn’t willing to let you do that.

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings/Tags: FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE, Smut, Oral sex, Fingering, Slight fluff, mentions of guns

Author's note: You guys really liked ‘the Freudian Slip’ and I’ve had a few requests to write a sequel, so here I am. This is my first time attempting to write smut for all y'all who are horny for Zemo so um hopefully it’s good. IF YOU KNOW ME NO YOU DON’T

My Master list

“Madripoor knows how to give New York a run for its money,” Sam says as they walk past all these containers.

“They know how to party,” Zemo replies, walking up beside you. His arm grazes against yours, making you tense. Picking up your pace, you reach Bucky and leaving Zemo behind.

Last night you might have made the worst mistake of your life. You had made out with Zemo.

Zemo!

The man that was a terrorist. The man who had caused the Avengers to split up. You hated him! You had to hate him. Right?

Yet when you glance over to him, you can’t help feel warm inside. Goosebumps crawl up your skin as you hear him speak. That accent of his drove you wild. You want to kiss that smirk off his face when he looks at you. His brown eyes bearing into yours. He made you feel alive. He made you feel all hot and bothered. He made you feel confused.

Earlier at Sharon’s party, you were watching him. Usually, you like a party, but this time you held back. Zemo looked around for you, but he eventually gave up and danced on his own. You smiled as you watched him have fun. For those moments he seemed so innocent. You wanted to join him dancing, but Sam and Bucky were already suspicious of you and Zemo. Why it had taken you two so long to reach them after you split up. You had to distance yourself from him. No matter how hard you found it.

You swallow, pushing away the thoughts of you and him as you tried to focus back on the mission at hand.

You arrived at the crater, and Sharon handed you all earpieces to wear. Placing it in your ear and head into the crater. It was pitch black in there, making you stop to try to see anything.

Zemo was following up behind you, and as you stopped walking, he walked into you. You stiffened, feeling his body press up against yours. His arm reaches around, squeezing yours as he moves beside you. Though you couldn’t see him, you just knew he was smirking at you.

Zemo pulled out a flashlight. He shone it in your eyes to annoy you before shining it forward to see the end of the crater. He walked forward, touching the wall, then pushed it. The wall moved, revealing it as a door as music flooded the room. He glances back at you, Sam and Bucky as you all pull out your guns. Sam and Bucky head in and you follow them as Zemo keeps the door open for you. His hand rested on the dip of your back as you walked past, but you shook it off. He turned to stare at you, but you continued to walk ahead, not giving him a second glance.

The song ‘Comin home baby’ plays out of a record as you enter. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you glance around where you were. Rounding the corner, you finally see the man you had been looking for. He was quietly singing along, unaware of the people approaching him from behind. Sam and Bucky questioned him while you and Zemo held back.

You were just there for backup you didn’t want to get involved. Your eyes sneak back to admiring Zemo though, and you wonder just how involved you were. Zemo’s eyes snap to yours as he notices you staring, and he tilts his head at you, his thin lips sneaking up in a curl.

You look away, staring ahead, willing your cheeks to stop blushing.

As Sam and Bucky continued to interrogate the doctor, Zemo walked around the area. You kept trying to see what he was doing while at the same trying to make sure Zemo didn’t notice you.

Sharon runs into the room at that moment, “Guys, we’ve got to go”

Zemo quickly raises his hand, showing a gun he had found, and shoots the doctor dead.

“NO!” both you and Sam shouted, looking at Zemo in shock. Sam crashes into Zemo, holding him against the wall to stop him from shooting anyone else. You rush over and prize the gun out of Zemo’s hand, chucking it to the floor.

Before you got another moment to think, the whole crater exploded. You were flung back down, hitting your head against the floor. Searing pain crossed the back of your head and you let out a yelp of pain.

Groaning, you raised your hand to your head. Pulling it back, you see your hand covered in blood.

“Shit” you mutter trying to wipe your hand on your clothes.

You felt arms wrap around you, pulling you off the floor. You blink, trying to get the dust out of your eyes as the arms guide you out of the rubble. Finally, in the sunlight, you realize Zemo has his hands on your side pulling you along. Just as you two left the remains of the building, it explodes behind you.

“Are you okay?” Zemo questions as he turns you around to look at him. His eyes glanced up and down you in worry as he takes in the extent of your injuries.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Zemo, were they still in there!?” you ask anxiously as you look back to the burning building.

“They’ll be fine, come we need to go,” Zemo insisted, grabbing a hold of your hand again pulling you along. Your head still seized with pain making you trip slightly, but you kept it together.

“Where the hell are we going?” you ask but Zemo doesn’t answer he just keeps running and pulls you up onto a crater.

“Zemo!” you exclaim in annoyance, then your eyes widen as he pulls something out of his pocket.

“What the fuck is that”

“My mask, ”

“Your what now? Since when have you had a mask!” you question, looking at him confused.

“I’ve always had one. Now you need to duck” he ordered, looking over the edge of the crater.

“Why should I do that”

He rolls his eyes and wrenches you down, “Can’t you listen to me for once y/n'' he exclaims. He then grabs your gun and heads to the front of the crate wearing his mask. He shoots a pipe, and it explodes, sending a shock wave through you. You collapse to the ground feeling faint from the blood loss and Zemo rushes back to you.

He puts his hand on the back of your head to help you up, and his eyes widen when he pulls his hand away to see blood covering it.

“Why didn’t you say something” he angrily muttered.

“I’m fine” you groaned, but the black spots you could see in your vision said otherwise.

Zemo wrapped one arm under your legs and the other under your back and picked you up. He held you close to his chest as he ran forward holding you in his arms,

After a few minutes, he helps you stand up, letting you lean on him. You hated how dependent you were on Zemo at this moment, but a darker side of you enjoyed being this close to him. Leaning against a crate, you watch as Zemo finally pulls off his mask and opens one crate. Your eyes widen in shock as you watch him ride out in a car.

He gets out and opens the passenger seat door for you. Putting one arm around your waist and making you wrap your arm around his shoulder. He guides you to the car and helps you in. Both of you don’t speak. He knew you were too embarrassed to, and at this moment he didn’t want to push you.

Driving along you two picked up Sam and Bucky, who were thankful for seeing you alive. The car drive lasted a few hours, but eventually, you arrived at a new city where Zemo had a place you could stay.

Zemo got out of the car to help you out, but by this time you're determined to not rely on him. You pushed the door open, swung your legs out, tried to stand up, and almost fell over, but Bucky grabbed you.

“She needs medical help,” Zemo demanded as he opens the door to the house to let you in. Bucky excuses himself for a walk as Sam and Zemo help walk you into the building. They guide you to the sofa and lay you down. Sam finds some bandages to apply to your head while Zemo pours out some whiskey for you.

“To get rid of the pain,” he says, handing it to you. He sits beside you, gently putting his hand over the bandage on your head.

“Watch it” Sam growls glaring at him,

“My apologies,” Zemo quipped, removing his hand and your heart sinks a bit as he moves away.

With the pain easing, you eventually drift off into a light sleep. You don’t know how long you slept for, but when you woke up and looked around the room, you were in was empty. Feeling stronger, you stand up and start looking around the room. You notice a door off to the side where you could hear running water. Heading towards it, you gently knock on the door.

The water stops, and the door opens slightly to reveal Zemo on the other side. As he sees you, he opens the door and pulls you into the bathroom, closing the door behind you.

“I-I didn’t mean to come in here, I just wanted to see who was around” you mutter as your eyes flicker up and down Zemo. He was currently dressed in a bathrobe, and from the way it looks, not much else. Your eyes focused on the necklace that hung around his neck. How low the bathrobe dipped, exposing a part of his chest. You felt your core warming up and your mind filled with thoughts.

Zemo chuckles as he watches your eyes run up and down him, “Liking what you see?”

You freeze, bringing you back to reality. “N-no” you say, turning around trying to open the door but Zemo wraps his arms around you pulling you to him. He leans his face into your neck kissing it making your eyes flutter shut and let out a slight moan.

“How's your head?” Zemo asks, pulling back from you and raising his hand to touch the bandage.

You turn your head slightly, looking at him annoyed. Hopping from trying to seduce you to a casual conversation as nothing happened.

“I’m fine”

“Well, forgive me darling for not believing you but last time you said that you weren’t”

“I feel better...thank you for helping me”

“Anytime darling” he whispers in your ear. As his body presses into you, you could feel near your ass a bulge pressing against you.

“Why have you been ignoring me?” he then asks

“I haven’t” you quickly reply. He turns you around and pushes you against the door, tilting his head and staring intently

“Don’t lie to me y/n”

His serious glare makes you feel fuzzy, makes you feel warm but also angry at him. He knows very dam well why you have.

“Because Zemo, you are supposed to be a bad guy. Someone I should hate! I shouldn’t be doing thinking things of you”

He leans towards you, his lips grazing yours, “Such as?”

You pause for a moment, knowing you shouldn’t step over this line, but you just can’t help it.

“Fucking you”

“Oh? Such dirty thoughts. I thought you were above such things.” Zemo purrs

“Stop teasing me!” You whine. You try to lean forward to capture his lips but he leans back, putting his finger on them.

“Ah y/n, I want you to make a promise before we get anywhere”

“What”

“Please...don’t ignore me”

You look into his eyes and for once it was like the mask he always wore, of a self-absorbed man slipped away. You were staring into the eyes of a desperately lonely man.

“I promise, but Sam and Bucky can’t know”

Zemo grins, his teeth flashing. “I won’t tell if you don’t”

His lips crash onto yours, hungrily pressing against them. You open your mouth as his tongue explores yours. His hands wander up and down your body, pressing hard against your skin. He roughly grabs your arms and pushes you over to the sink. He picks you up and places you onto it. His lips leave yours, trailing down your jaw and neck.

His fingers venture downwards as well, slipping past the hem of your trousers. He moves them down past your underwear and slips into your private parts. You gasp as his fingers graze over your clit. The feeling sending shivers through you. You can feel Zemo smirking against your skin as he leaves a hickey against your collarbone. You grasp his hair, tugging on it, making him moan into your skin.

He removes his hands from you and grasps a hold of your trousers, pulling them off. He quickly pulls down your underwear while you remove your shirt. You attempt to grasp his bathrobe, but he ducks down.

He slowly parts your thighs, trailing kisses along them as he moves closer to your core. Your legs felt like jelly, as you expected him. He chuckles looking up to you, “So needy for me” he jested before wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking.

You chuck your head back, moaning in pleasure as warmth floods your core. Your hands grasp his hair, holding him tightly as he continues to lick and suck at your clit.

“Be careful Y/n, these rooms are not soundproof” he says, releasing his lips from you but you are beyond the point of caring. You wrap your thighs around his head, pushing back to you.

His fingers touch your core, finding it soaked where they easily slip inside. You moan at the feeling of his fingers stretching you out. He pumps them in and out of you at a rapid rate while his tongue twisted on your clit, eliciting moans out of you.

“Zemo” you gasp as you felt your limit coming. “Zemo I’m going to-” you break off, unable to finish the sentence as you finally release as you see stars.

After a few moments, you are brought back to reality as you can feel Zemo run his tongue up your core drinking you in. He pulls back from you and stands up. His eyes trailing up and down your body as you lie there recovering from your pleasure. “So beautiful” he whispers.

You reach forward, grabbing a hold of his bathrobe and tugging it down his body till he wasn’t covered anymore. He swiftly moves over to a draw, pulling out a condom wrapper. Tearing it open with his mouth, he pulls the condom out and slips it onto himself.

His hands reach out to you, wrapping them around your body, pulling him closer to you. He rests his head on your shoulder as he pushes into you. You moan loudly in his ear as you feel him enter and cling to him, dragging your nails up and down his back. He grunts as he thrusts into you. Moaning as you squeeze your legs tighter for him. He trails kisses on your shoulder, gently biting a part of your skin.

“Y/N” he breathes, pulling back from your shoulder and claiming your lips again.

He pulls back from your lips and smirks at you teasingly, “Are you going to call me daddy again?”

You flush bright red remembering that night, “Damn you” you rasp out

He chuckles, leaning back towards your ear, “I don’t mind if you do”

At that moment he hits a certain spot within you, making you cry out. “There Daddy, please” you gasp and he complies, attempting to hit the spot again within you. His hands sneak back down and rub your clit, making jolts of pleasure run through you.

You feel yourself coming to another release, making you tangle your hands in his hair. You let it all out, seeing stars. After a few more thrusts, Zemo slows down and lets out a moan.

You two stay like that for a few minutes, just holding each other. Eventually, Zemo pulls back, pulling his condom off. He brushes the hair away from your face and gently places a kiss on your lips.

“You were great darling”

Tag list: @ineffablebean

Tagging who asked and showed interest in a sequel: @breakfastatlenas @prestigious-tea

[lucy-sky]

The Break of Dawn (Leo Barnes x f!Reader)

You work in a small diner not far from the bus station and try to get over a tragic event that happened to you three years ago. Leo Barnes is one of the steady customers, and at some point you realize there's mutual attraction between the two of you. There's no time for romance though - only one night left before the annual Purge, and Leo has an important job to keep Senator Roan safe as it's the only chance to finally put an end to the Purge.

Words: 3 656

Warnings: Sexual content (not super detailed, I would rate this story as Mature rather than Explicit, but still they f*ck), a bit of angst (trigger warning: loss), but Leo is a caring and protective guy who’s ready to hold you

A/N: My first time writing Leo Barnes or any Frank Grillo character, so please don't be mean :))

Taglist: @sweetfictionalworld, @skvatnavle​, @lunamoon-87​

“There he is.”

Stella pokes you with her elbow.

“What?”

“Your tough guy. He’s here,” she nods to the corner of the diner and you don’t even need to follow her gesture to know that Leo Barnes is sitting there, his usual spot. He’s a bit early today, and it’s understandable - you too find it harder to sleep well as the Purge is getting closer.

“He’s not my tough guy, Stells,” you roll your eyes.

“Oh yeah? Tell it to someone else,” she snorts. “So far I’m just wondering how long you’re gonna keep ignoring that sexual tension…”

“Stella, please.”

“What? Honestly, I don’t know why he’s being such a gentleman… But just FYI, y/n… You know it’s not the 19th century and you actually can make the first move?”

“Even if I wanted to, it’s not the right time,” you shrug. “You know he’s doing an important job. He’s got plenty of stuff to think about and it’s definitely not romance.”

“Who’s talking about romance, sis?” Stella laughs. “You’re both so goddamn tense, you need to blow off some steam. No, seriously. You need to get laid. He needs to get laid. It’s just way too obvious!”

“Oh dear god, just please shut up…” you groan.

“Fine,” she gives you a wicked smirk. “If you don’t want him, then I’m bringing his order.”

You chuckle at this.

“Don’t you dare.”

  To be completely honest, you can’t deny that Stella is partly right. There is something between you and this grumpy silent man in the corner. But what exactly? You can’t really put it into words, it’s not just the attraction, or sexual tension as Stella says. You do find him handsome though, you admit that. A couple of times when he was wearing a t-shirt, you caught yourself staring at his muscular arms. Yes, guilty. And still… There’s more than that. You’d call it some sort of mutual understanding.

Leo Barnes works for Senator Roan. In the past, he used to be a cop, now he is the head of security for her. You learnt that one night when he was here, having his usual late dinner. The TV was on, evening news, something about the election of course. And suddenly you noticed him there, standing behind Roan’s back with another guy in a formal dark suit. You blinked, stared at the screen, then looked back at him. He caught your glance.

“Is that… you?” you blurted, realizing too late that you said it out loud. But he smiled, and in his smile there was no anger or annoyance.

“Apparently so,” he replied with a soft chuckle and ran his fingers through his dark hair. “How do I look?”

You started talking ever since then. Barnes usually came to the diner twice - in the morning he just had a mug of black coffee, and in the evening he ordered something to eat. Mornings were often crowded as many people passed the diner before heading to work in the city, so you were busy. But the evenings were mostly quiet. 

You often stayed at work late, covering Stella who had to run to her kids or another date. You didn’t mind that since work was always your way to escape. Nobody was waiting for you at home anyways. Somehow, Leo Barnes started to keep you company. He wasn’t much of a talker and you were never into heartfelt conversations with the clients here, but something just clicked. Especially after you learnt about his job and it became clear that your views on the Purge are the same.

Many people hate The Purge, as well as many people support it. Some people hate it because they’re scared for their loved ones, their business (small shop owners who don’t have enough money to afford the Purge insurance often suffer), or they hate it just because they’re against violence in general. And the others… They have more personal reasons. You’re one of them. And somehow, even if you don’t know for sure, you just feel like Leo Barnes has personal reasons as well. He never really told you, and you don’t dare to ask because you know well enough how the memories can hurt. You didn’t tell him either. But still, you don’t know how exactly it worked, you just looked at each other and saw it. It’s like an unspoken secret between the two of you. The details don’t matter anyway. Your stories are in the past and you can’t change it, but what you can change is the future. If Senator Charlene Roan wins the election - the Purge will finally end. You can help with your vote, and Leo… Leo is determined to do anything to help her survive this year. Just this year, and hopefully no one would ever have to survive this nightmare again. You both want it more than anything else.

  “Hey.”

You smile at Leo as you place a mug of coffee and a plate on the table in front of him.

“Hey…” he looks confused when he sees the food. Nothing really special: eggs, bacon, some beans and a toast. “What’s that? I... only asked for the usual…”

“Just thought you might need some extra fuel,” you shug. “Only one night left before the Purge, so… you must have a lot of work to do.”

“Yeah, you’re right… I actually do,” he gives you a tired smile. “Thank you.”

“Welcome,” you nod and turn to leave, but Leo suddenly touches your arm and you freeze.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah?” you face him again.

“Do you work tomorrow?”

“Yes… Why are you asking?..” you give him a puzzled look.

“Well uh… To be honest I’d be happier if you took a day off… You know, just to make sure you’re safe…”

You feel the heat on your cheeks. Does… does he worry about you?.. The realization makes your heart shrink for a second. Apparently he’s not just someone who understands, he’s someone who cares. You already forgot what it feels like when someone really cares. Well, of course there are your parents, but they’re far away… And Leo, he’s right here.

“It’s okay,” you say, trying not to look too baffled. “Tomorrow we’re closing the diner earlier, right after lunchtime, so I’ll be home long before the Purge begins. There’s no need to worry, really.”

“Good,” Barnes nods. “I just… don’t think I’ll be able to come over and check on you tomorrow, so I just…” he stutters as if trying to figure out something to say. 

“I just want you to be careful, okay?” he finally utters, and to your surprise his hand reaches yours, squeezing it lightly. “Just be careful, yeah?”

“Yeah, I... Of course I will,” you try to smile reassuringly. “I promise.”

  *

There’s about five minutes left before closing hour when Leo appears. As usual, you’re still here, helping Mary, the chief and the owner’s wife with all the cleaning up after the working day. While she’s in the kitchen, you wipe the tables, TV-set is murmuring something in the corner. The election, the purge… Always the same.

“You’re closed?” he asks, meeting your gaze. “Sorry, I… Didn’t realize it’s that late already…”

“We’re about to close, but it’s fine, come in!” you assure smiling at him maybe a bit more brightly than you wanted to show. “We’ll get you something to eat, right, Mary?” 

“Sure thing,” she replies from the kitchen door. You weren’t the only one who saw Barnes on TV. Since then, he became an always welcome guest as the diner owners supported Roan as well. Otherwise, to be honest you don’t think you could possibly be able to work for them.

You put a plate with food in front Leo as he takes a seat at the counter. While he’s eating silently, you wipe the coffee mugs and place them carefully on the shelf. The TV keeps talking. Something about the bloomimg economy and international murder tourists who keep coming to the US to take part in the annual Purge. You glance at the screen, see their gut-wrenchingly excited faces.

“Jesus Christ,” you mutter under your breath and shake your head. “Fucking insane.”

“True,” you nearly jump at his words, as you didn’t realize Leo heard you. “I knew people who killed someone on Purge night for… different reasons. But those who kill just because they enjoy it, for fun or sport or whatever you call it - those are the most dangerous.”

“They’re just psychopaths. People like that should be kept in mental hospitals or something. But they just walk around as if nothing’s wrong with them. And the new founding fathers keep telling them how proud they are of them…”

“Roan’s gonna make it stop,” Mary joins the conversation. “This lady’s got some balls, am I right, sir?”

“Yes ma’am,” Barnes chuckles. “She absolutely got them.”

  You leave the diner together with Leo. Mary chose to stay inside, waiting for her husband to come pick her up in a few minutes. The night is a bit chilly; you’re shivering, not sure if it’s the cold or the fact that you’re alone with him for the first time.

“Where’s your car?” he asks.

“Oh um… It’s in the service actually. So I’m going to the bus station right over there,” you point. Barnes frowns.

“What about tomorrow?”

“Stella promised to give me a ride home. Leo… I’ll be okay. It’s not the first Purge night in my life, you know.”

“Right,” he clears his throat. “Anyway, since I’m here I can drive you home.”

“You… sure it’s okay?” your voice betrays you a little. “I mean you must be tired…”

“I’m okay,” he assures, then nods at his car. “Come on. I insist.”

“Okay,” you hear yourself saying.

  *

You’re mostly silent on the way. You feel a bit tense, but also kinda… weirdly excited to be in this car, next to him. Damn. Is Stella right, and you’re actually into him? Definitely so. But after all these years you almost completely forgot how it feels - to be into someone or how the relationships work. As if you’re a teenager again. Leo Barnes is the first man who actually made you think of something close to romantic longing since… That night.

“It’s here?” he asks as you reach your house. You nod, and he pulls over. You wait for him to say something, to tell you goodnight maybe, but he doesn’t. Without the sound of the car engine, the silence between you becomes even more awkward. You open your mouth to say goodbye to him, but instead different words suddenly come out.

“Leo, I…” 

He looks at you intently. You stare down at your knees.

“Yeah?”

“I just… The fact that you worry about me - it’s very nice of you, really. And… I just wanted you to know that I worry about you too. I worry about you a lot actually…”

“Y/n…” his voice is quiet as he brings his hand to your face, gently urging you to look up at him. His eyes look darker than usual in the dim light of the street lamp nearby. You think if it’s possible to drown in someone’s eyes you’d already be gone.

“I’ll be fine, okay?” he says softly. “It’s gonna be a tough night for sure, but I’ll be fine, I have to be fine. You gotta trust me on this. You trust me?”

“Yes,” you barely whisper, unable to take your eyes from his, and when the tension becomes almost unbearable, his lips finally crush on yours.

You both expected and didn’t expect it, didn’t dare to admit even to yourself how much you really wanted it. Your breath hitches somewhere in your throat as you kiss him back eagerly, forgetting about everything and everyone for this moment that lasts so long and so painfully short at once. You’re both panting as your lips part, foreheads pressed together. 

“I… I think I should go,” you mumble as a rush of panic suddenly overwhelms you.

“Yeah… Yeah…” he nods. “You should get some rest.”

“You too.”

You squeeze his hand for a second. Gosh, you didn’t even realize your hand was on his all this time. 

“Good night,” you finally murmur, bracing yourself to get out of the car. You feel like something else needs to be said, but can’t really figure out what.

  *

You enter the house and just lean against the door, heart hammering wildly inside your chest. You close your eyes and try to catch your breath. What the hell just happened? And why are you reacting like that? There’s nothing wrong about this kiss. You’re two single adults… Well, probably single. Leo doesn’t wear a ring, so… Damn it, you really got out of practice when it comes to relationships.

A knock on the door made your eyes snap open. As if in a daze, you slowly turn and reach the door handle, already knowing who you’re going to see.

Leo doesn’t say anything. And you can’t read the expression in his eyes, or you simply don’t have time for it, because the next moment he steps inside, his hands cup your cheeks and he kisses you with such longing and desperation it nearly kicks the breath out of your lungs. You don’t know what you’re doing any more, but your fingers are already in his dark hair, scratching the nape of his neck while his lips and tongue keep attacking your mouth. It feels like shockwaves running through your body, and for the first time in years you feel just so alive. All this time your feelings, passions and emotions were asleep, everything around you seemed pale and lifeless as if someone turned down the contrast, but something changed. Not right now, not in the snap of a finger, of course; it happened gradually. Something kept changing deep within you since the very first time your eyes met, and now - you’re finally ready to feel something. To let him in.

You don't think about it though. Or about anything else, to be honest. All you can focus on is what his lips are doing to you, how hot his breath is and how weirdly nice his stubble feels against your skin. Leo’s coat falls on the floor. His big hands seize your waist as he lifts you up, causing you to grip onto his broad shoulders. Pressing you against the nearest wall, he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, the kisses are sloppy, open-mouthed, and you can't suppress a soft moan. He's big and strong, you feel small underneath him, but you like it. 

You can’t even remember clearly how you finally reached the bedroom, frantically helping each other to get rid of the clothes. When you tumble down and he hovers over you, the skin to skin contact is overwhelming. He brushes your hair away from your flushed face, kisses you with sudden tenderness. The look in his hazel eyes is warm yet still full of passion as you cup his cheek and he presses his lips to your palm. An affectionate gesture that makes your heart skip a beat, but you both are too impatient to be soft right now. So he leans in, kissing you harder this time, grunting against your mouth when you pull him closer, craving as much of him as possible. You can feel him twitching against your lower belly as you wrap your legs around him, eager to get more pressure. He’s not even inside you yet, but it already feels so good you can’t help bucking your hips, earning a low groan from him at the friction. His lips trail along your jawline, down to the side of your neck, where he kisses and nibbles, and you just know there’s gonna be marks tomorrow, but damn, you can’t care less.

When he finally enters you and starts moving, you’re almost delirious. Clinging to him, you gasp and whisper his name into his skin, feel the muscles on his back tense as he thrusts deeper. The wave of bliss hits you so hard your vision turns blurry and for a few seconds it feels like you’re not there.

  *

Reality comes back to you slowly, with all the dark and troubled thoughts you can’t escape. Leo is lying next to you with his eyes closed, breathing evenly, so you think he must be asleep. Good for him. Carefully, you slip out of the bed to get a glass of water. It doesn’t help you to get rid of the lump in your throat though. Back to the bedroom, you sit on the edge of the bed and let out a deep sigh, trying to fight back tears. Too many emotions for one night.

“Y/n.”

Leo’s voice doesn’t even seem sleepy. You can feel him shifting in bed to reach you, the warmth of his calloused hand stroking your back soothingly.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, uh…” You shake your head, bringing your hand to rub your eyes. “I’m good. It’s just… It’s been a while since I… You know…”

“I know. It’s been a while for me as well.”

“I lost my boyfriend three years ago,” you blurt out, surprising yourself that you said it out loud. “During the Purge night. He um… He was a medical student. We lived in an apartment building and we heard someone crying for help. I wanted to stop him but he just couldn’t ignore someone who needed help, you know. He got shot accidentally, right into his head. There was no chance to save him.”

Leo’s hand gently squeezes your shoulder.

“Sorry, I… Don’t even know why I’m telling you this. I’ve never talked about him since the funeral…”

“It’s okay,” he moves closer, pressing a kiss against your shoulder blade.

“I was so angry at first, you know,” now that you start talking you seemingly cannot stop. “I wished I could find and kill them. But then I thought he wouldn’t want me to become a murderer...”

He presses his forehead against the back of your head for a moment. “I know how you feel, y/n.”

You finally turn to meet his gaze. 

“I lost my son. I know what this anger feels like. Two years ago all I was thinking about on the Purge night was revenge. I was determined, almost obsessed.”

“Did… you do it?”

“No. I was close to it. Very close. But… One wise person made me realize that it wouldn’t help. Violence only brings more violence.”

“It has to be stopped,” you whisper.

“Yes,” he nods. “That’s why I left the police. Cops have to stay away from the Purge. I couldn’t any more. At least now I know I'm doing the right thing.”

“Right… Just… I’m just scared of losing you too,” you say very quietly, but he hears you anyway. His strong arms wrap around your body, pulling you closer, enclosing into his warmth. Making you feel safe.

“Hey, hey...” He whispers into your hair as he nuzzles into the top of your head. “It’s not gonna happen, you hear me? Everything’s gonna be alright. I promise.”

  *

You have no doubt your colleagues noticed who drove you to work this morning. But today no one is in the mood for comments, not even Stella. Even though the work goes on as usual, there’s still this tension in the air before the Purge night. 

Through the window you can see a bunch of guys gathered around the car with an open trunk full of baseball bats and other stuff you can’t discern. The owner proudly shows off his stuff, other guys laugh, they look pretty chill and relaxed, and your stomach nearly twists at the sight. 

  *

All night you could barely sleep a wink. A knock on the door drags you out of troubled slumber. At first you’re not even sure if you really heard it or it was in your dream. But the sounds repeat and you jump off the bed and without even caring to slip something over the huge t-shirt you sleep in. Barefoot, you rush to the door, open it with shaky hands.

He looks so exhausted it seems like he can barely stand. The collar of his shirt that used to be white is now stained with blood. And yet… He’s smiling.

“Leo!..” you gasp, stepping towards him and bringing your hand to his stubbly cheek. “Oh my god, are you… Everything okay?..”

“I’m great,” he breathes out huskily, and his smile slowly turns into a wide grin. “We did it, baby.”

You don’t even try to hold back tears as you fall into his arms, bury your face into his chest. He smells a bit like sweat and blood, but you absolutely don’t care. “I’m so glad you’re here,” you mumble into his ruined shirt. “I’m here,” he whispers back, stroking your hair. Then you realize the two of you are still standing at the porch.

“Alright,” you say, drawing back a little. “Let’s get you in, you need some rest… And you’re probably hungry too… And you definitely need a shower…”

“Wait, y/n. Let’s just… Stay here for a bit? I think we both need to catch a breath,” he chuckles crookedly, reaching out to wipe a tear from your cheek. You smile back.

“Okay.”

  Sitting on the porch with your head on Leo’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around your frame, you watch the sky becoming lighter and lighter as the dawn breaks. You can hear the sounds of sirens in the distance. The city’s slowly getting back to life, waking up after another nightmare. 

You both know it’s not the end, the war isn’t won yet, but at least you won this very important battle. And for the first time in what seems like ages you have a good feeling about the future.

*

Thanks for reading! 

Hugs, Lucy