#so im just trying to rebuild what i had before that hiatus

[mueritos]

for folks who aren't aware, i have an adult twitter where i post some more ns/f/w art but everything is always posted first on my patreon ^-^ pls don't be weird and if you're an adult feel free to give my page a follow.

[geminitarotmagick]

Please do a MX and Wonho’s friendship reading. Thanks 😊

Hi! This is a very loaded question considering everything that happened, but it's my civic duty as a ot7 monbebe stan to bring to you the current energy around Wonho and Monsta X's friendships.

Please be warned that this is not a fluffy reading where I just say "they're brothers and they love each other." As much as I'd like that to be true as a monbebe, we actually get into some deeper issues and feelings here, and this reading is being kept very realistic, even if we as fans might not want to hear that there are negative feelings.

But with that said, let's get into it! In the center, we have how Monsta X as a whole see Wonho (left), and how Wonho sees Monsta X as a whole (right). The top row is Wonho's friendships with Shownu, Minhyuk and Kihyun, and the bottom row is his friendships with Hyungwon, Jooheon and IM.

Cards used: Wild Unknown Animal Spirits, Light Seers Tarot, Way of the Panda Tarot Baby Panda Edition

So, we start with how Monsta X as a whole view Wonho currently, and we have the Camel, the Eight of Cups, and the Seven of Swords. They, as a group, admire the fact that Wonho really knows himself, and that he had the courage to do what he needed to do, and has been able to hold his own as a solo artist. He think it's really cool how he's sort of walking his own path and challenges the norms of being an idol and coming back from a scandal and doing the type of music and things he wants to do. However, they still hold in the back of their mind that he walked away. They know why he did it, and they know that he thought it was for his best interest, and that it was probably for their best interest as a group too. But at the end of the day, he still walked away, and there are some negative feelings that they harbor from that, which is totally understandable.

Next, we have how Wonho sees Monsta X as a whole, and we have the Elk, Temperance and the reversed Fairy Godpanda. He appreciates the fact that they still support him and are there for him, even after everything that happened, and I can see that their support is something that's really really important to him. However, he has a lot of mixed feelings when it comes to the group, and once again, that's totally understandable considering everything that happened. He sees them as a strong unit, and sometimes I think he wonders if they're doing better without him, and that leads him down a negative thought path that he doesn't really like. But he still holds all of his positive memories with Monsta X very fondly in his heart, and he wouldn't replace them for the world.

More detail on each individual member's relationship with Wonho under the cut.

Now, we have Shownu and Wonho's friendship, and for that we got the King of Cups, Judgment and the Five of Pentacles. They still hold a lot of love for each other, and as the leader, Shownu understands why Wonho did what he did, and realizes that he especially did it to look out for Shownu once his name started getting dragged through the mud as well. Shownu is very very supportive on Wonho, and Wonho is the same back to him. He understands that Wonho had pure intentions, even if he went about things the wrong way, and I think he sees that Wonho walking away has changed both of them, and their relationship, for the better, and the whole situation caused them both to grow personally apart more than they could've grown together. He admires Wonho and his patience and resilience in still striving to create music even after everything that happened, and that's why he'll always support Wonho's solo music.

Next, we have Minhyuk and Wonho's friendship, and for that we have the reversed Six of Cups, the Tower, and the Hierophant. Wonho walking away was a big event in their friendship, and it really hasn't ever been totally the same since. Minhyuk is definitely one of the members who didn't understand Wonho's reasoning as much as someone like Shownu did, so I can see that their friendship was definitely fractured for a time, but at the end of the day, Minhyuk was able to forgive Wonho for what he did, and also forgive himself for not being able to be enough of a support system that Wonho felt like he needed to do that. At this point, their relationship is different, but it's healed, and they learn a lot from each other, and I think they come to each other for advice when they need it.

Next, we have Kihyun and Wonho's friendship, and for this we have the Four of Cups, the reversed Eight of Wands, and the Six of Swords. This one is really interesting to me, because it seems like Kihyun was actually the member who was the most hurt by Wonho leaving. We know that they were close, and so sometimes it's the people closest to us that we hurt with our actions. I can see that Kihyun felt like Wonho was so focused on the rumors and on being self sacrificing that he didn't realize that Monsta X was there for him, and I think he's held resentment against Wonho for not letting the members be there for him and try to get through the situation together. Their friendship was severely damaged by Wonho leaving, and I think it was something that kind of left them not knowing how to approach each other. I can see that they're working through everything that happened and working to rebuild their friendship, but it's not something that's so simple. There's trauma and pain that they have to talk through together before they can really get their friendship back to a good place, but they are working on it and working to get to a better place together.

Next, we have Hyungwon and Wonho's friendship, and the cards we have for that are the reversed Three of Cups, the reversed Sun, and reversed Devil. This is another case of the fact that Wonho's actions hurt the ones he was closest to the most. I can see that most of all, Hyungwon was hurt that Wonho decided to leave the group without consulting anyone, and he felt left out. I can see that after that, it was hard for Hyungwon to focus on Monsta X, and that he kinda felt disconnected from the group because of the negative energy surrounding it all. There was definitely a need for them to make amends and talk things through, and even tho they have, I can see that there's still some repairs that have to be made to their relationship. Despite everything, I think there are still feelings of betrayal that Hyungwon has, and it hasn't been so easy for them to move past that.

Next, we have Jooheon and Wonho's friendship, and for them we got the Five of Pentacles, the reversed King of Pentacles, and the reversed Queen of Wands. I think Jooheon definitely worried about Wonho feeling ostracized and left out when it came to the group and moving on without him, so I think he was one of the members who stayed in touch with Wonho the most to make sure he was ok and check up on him. I think they cleared their grievances out pretty quickly and were able to move forward a little easier than some of the members. He also understood that Wonho needed to take time away partially to get his mind right again after all of the malicious rumors targeting him, so I don't think he ever took him leaving as personally as some of the other members might've. He didn't think it would've been right for Wonho to stay if he didn't feel like it was right anymore, so he admired Wonho for making the choice that was right for him at the time, and I think that actually inspired Jooheon to have the courage to take HIS hiatus when he was feeling anxious and needed to get himself centered again, too. I think their relationship is definitely one of the better ones of the group, and I think they both talked each other through their hiatuses and hard times together.

Last but not least, we have the friendship between Changkyun and Wonho, and we got the Ace of Cups, the reverse Six of Swords, and the Nine of Pentacles. Interestingly enough, even tho they weren't the closest while Wonho was in Monsta X, I think their relationship is actually better than ever now. Changkyun is someone who's very resistant to change, so I can see that he didn't want to accept that Wonho left, and that that was baggage that they both carried into their friendship for a while. But I can see that at some point, they decided to have a fresh start, and that since that happened, they've been able to thrive as friends in a way that they never really were able to before. Wonho leaving was actually the best thing for their friendship, and they've been able to transition into this new phase in their relationship with relative ease, and their relationship has been one of success and mutual support of each other.

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[rkjinhyuk-blog]

hello everyone! this intro post is super belated, but thank you for all your kind messages! i’m slowly but surely responding to all of them right now, but i figured i should get one of these up before it’s too late! i’m super excited to bring my best boy lee jinhyuk into the rp ♥ some quick stats: lee jinhyuk, 21, works as a delivery boy for yum yum chicken and at an escape room service, no escape! he’s also a former idol; he was in a group called spect8 (you can read more about them here) which officially disbanded earlier this year, so naturally he feels some kind of way about it. you can read more about him on his profile and background pages, but i’ll drop some notes + wanted connections under the cut as well! if anything interests you, please hmu or alternatively, if you’d like to plot please hit the like button on this post and i’ll pop into your ims ♥ thanks for reading and i can’t wait to write with you all!

TL;DR:

so: lee jinhyuk, former stage name is wei but he’ll still answer to it now because he’s fond of it. recently turned twenty one but sometimes he feels a lot younger and other times he feels like he’s ancient. stuck somewhere in the middle but definitely does not feel entirely normal

what’s up, my peers? cannot connect with you!

former idol (or failed idol, if you prefer). got scouted in his final year of middle school by a small company preparing to debut their first group, passed the audition and trained all through high school. was added to the debut line up in 2016 and it was honestly one of the happiest days of his life!

and then, you know, shit sucked. the group was never popular and suffered further when two of their most popular members left. were put on hiatus around the beginning of 2018 and officially disbanded in 2019, though most members had already gone their own ways before then

post disbandment, jinhyuk returned home and tried to get his life together, eventually realizing that he really did not want to give up his dream of becoming an idol just yet. so he’s still! fighting! to debut again, hopefully with better results this time

lives with his parents and younger sister - she attends hanlim and very much wants to be an idol in spite of jinhyuk’s own failure. does his best to be a supportive brother but he’s a little worried about her lmao

decided not to attend university after disbandment; he did one semester online @ kyung hee before dropping out and he genuinely like... does not think academics are for him

spends his time working as a delivery boy for yum yum chicken. works some pretty weird hours, tbh. also works part time at no escape! he’s really good at escape room puzzles so it’s a perfect fit

volunteers at the local community centre when he has time; teaches a baby’s first hip hop class, basically, which is great for him because he loves working with kids. probably would’ve gone into like childcare or early education if he had the drive

his specialty is definitely rap + dance but he doesn’t consider himself all that skilled yet. both are talents he had to work hard to develop after he became a trainee. still tries to take classes and keep up with practice when he can... 

a really good boy... like he’s genuinely very bright & friendly and easy to get along with. collects people like you might collect stamps... has a good memory so will remember the most random facts or things you’ve said but it’s because he cares about you. also generally laid back, doesn’t get angry easily, not really shy or afraid of anything. super affectionate, can get silly/dumb, adopts kids like no one’s business 

can get morose sometimes especially when his ~idol past is brought up. like he tries to pretend he’s not bothered! but he is... though he’s mostly sad because he’s internalized the failure as his fault and part of him worries he’s used up his one (1) chance at his dream but it’s fine. takes a lot for his bitterness to come to the surface but it happens occasionally

pls................... love him

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

his ride or die best friend!! is probably close to many people but like... (1) friend (preferably long term/established) who knows all the shit jinhyuk’s been through and stuck through the good times and the bad. jinhyuk would 100% take a bullet for them... he’s not good at leaning on people but someone who could like actually allow him to relax around them would be great

former fans of spect8? current fans? was pretty involved with fans (think wonho from monsta x lmao) so he had a good reputation in the fandom! the group was never all that popular to begin with, so jinhyuk valued all the fans he had. with disbandment he thinks they’re essentially forgotten--so to discover they still have fans would be really cool 

big fan of rebuilding relationships so like old friends or classmates he lost touch with after he became a trainee and is slowly reconnecting with now... not the same person as they remember, probably, but that’s fun to play with

yum yum chicken customers?? that one person who always orders the same thing @ 2 am and jinhyuk’s the one who delivers it every single time.... the person with the suspiciously large order who invites jinhyuk inside to eat so they don’t look like it’s all theirs... the person who made him run around the riverside searching for them so he can deliver their food please

also no escape! customers? you gave up 10 minutes into your escape room and now you’re just chatting with jinhyuk over the phone instead of asking for hints... you refuse to leave the escape room until you solve it even though your time expired like 2 hours ago... you and jinhyuk get trapped in an escape room but this is like the only one jinhyuk hasn’t memorized the puzzles for rip

other people who volunteer at the community centre, whether with dance classes literally anything else? they have a good working relationship or a friendly rivalry for whatever reason? 

or you come to drop your siblings/cousin/friend’s kid/whatever for dance class and meet jinhyuk who kind of ropes you into joining in with the rest and won’t take no for an answer! it’ll be fun!!

jinhyuk helped you out of a tight situation or something once and you accidentally caught feelings for him... and he knows you did but he doesn’t want to bring it up so now he just pretends he’s oblivious!

you’re small and jinhyuk is a giant and you absolutely hate being next to him but you get paired up or tricked into doing a lot of shit together. he thinks you’re.... so cute... but you want him to get away from you 

you and jinhyuk were rivals in like the fifth grade and when you see him again after falling out of touch, you’re filled with rage... turns out he doesn’t remember your rivalry and thought you were friends the whole time 

jinhyuk’s friends set you two up on a blind date. he’s literally never been on a date before and has 0 experience with romance so it would sure be something? 

you’re with jinhyuk when he gets injured and he’s like “i’ll deal with it!” but you try to get him to go to the hospital and he freaks the fuck out

you play basketball/video games together all the time and jinhyuk always loses so you think he just sucks.... turns out he’s been letting you win this entire time

you always meet jinhyuk at the public baths and you’re convinced he doesn’t exist outside of them like some kind of house spirit but...... you run into him at the store and you’re amazed

this is so long already but i’m really open to almost anything so please plot with us!!

[ashlinnjarnheim]

INDEFINITE HIATUS.

Fun fact: I’ve been trying to write this for over forty minutes, and nothing good is coming out of it, so I’ll just do what I do best and talk nonstop about my problems while trying to tell you about something (mildly?) serious. Maybe that’ll help. 

For those who don’t know, my main account, tyrionslannister – the one I had for almost three years and which contained most of my writing work, none of it backed up because I’m apparently really stupid – got terminated on the 8th. Tumblr emailed me back on Monday, but due to a problem with my email address, I don’t believe I’ll be getting it back, so I’ve been working on letting go of my hope lmao 

That blog was many things, but, most of all, it was my escape from real life. Lbr, roleplaying always helped me with that, and when I finally came to Tumblr I felt like I’d found a whole new world (Aladdin reference intended). I never thought I’d someday come here to say ‘hey everyone, thanks for the memories, but my time has come and I must leave’. At some point, this website became a priority in my life.

And I didn’t realize that until last friday, when I lost everything. Okay, it would’ve probably hurt either way, but it shouldn’t have sent me spiraling into one of the most awful anxiety crisis I’ve ever had. And I shouldn’t have been stressing over it for the past week. Losing work is awful, but as the person behind it, I know I can do everything all over again. I shouldn’t have treated it like the end of the world. Yet, here we are, and I’m being dramatic online again. Sigh.

The reason I’m writing this is: I entertained the idea of starting over with a new blog. I mean, I could do it all again. I could set up new themes and char blogs and continue playing all my beloved plots and ships, and I’d eventually forget about what I’d lost, or at least stop suffering over it. I could redo all my replies (ugh, I’d finally answered everyone after months, and then everything disappeared, because my life’s just that great). 

I could do that. But I won’t. 

I don’t know how many people know about this, but just a couple months ago I was rejected by my dream uni. That meant I had to do what I dreaded the most, and go back to school. My classes started last Monday, and that’s when I finally realized: I won’t manage it. Redoing replies, char blogs, the main blog itself... It’d take a lot of work and time I won’t have to spare. I have to actually focus this time, because if I have to do another year of school after this... Eek. Let’s not talk about that. 

With that said, I almost never gave up a plot before. And, tbqh, I don’t want to give up all of them. I love my characters as if they were my children. (Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration. I wouldn’t know, I don’t have kids.) So I won’t say I’m quitting, but I’ll be putting them on hold... For which will probably be the longest of times. 

I’m not sure about that, because I’m unpredictable as shit and it’s very possible for me to come back in a month and say, “you know what, fuck it” and just start rebuilding, but this termination has given me a new perspective, by which I mean it showed me I gotta get a grip on my life. I am almost sure I’ll be here reblogging ship insp and sending you drabbles from time to time, because this girl does not live without her drabbles. (I won’t post them privately on Tumblr this time, though. Who knows what they can do with this account.) But I can’t promise to be an active partner, at least not for the next 10 months or so. And that’s a hell of a long time, which is why I understand it if you wanna drop our plots. 

Aaaaand, while I don’t have time for Tumblr (so many things for me to set up!), I also don’t live without a few threads. So, if you’re the kind of person who plays through WhatsApp, *wink wink*. Hmu. We can work things out. (Although I’ll probably only answer monthly or some shit because I’m an AWFUL human being. God, I’m sorry.) 

Additionally, to partners & mutuals I just tagged here because I love talking to and don’t wanna lose contact, if you ever wanna hit me up but don’t know where else to find me (I deleted Tumblr from my phone, so I’ll also take a while to answer IMs here eep), I’m _laurahi on both Twitter and Instagram, laurahi8 on Pinterest, and  hissnake 🐍#8651 on Discord. And, of course, you can always message me for my number. :)

@berensaats @yas-suo @scumbag1x1 @shierazade  @monique1x1 @harleysqvinn @bellawrits @dandelionsx @hxzel1x1 @lullyandher1x1 @stefanosvalentinis @nahshedidnot @hopeplots @glimmrglcss @thelovelyonewitch @06thelovers @capituwrites @yujuus @livplots @sammyroleplays @goldrosc @latristereina

[blog-teal-cosplay]

Changes

Something I eventually wanted to write about is how I feel an intense sense of isolation due to how compartmentalized my life is. Actually, thats not a good word, fractured is probably better. Everything I am doing this year is slowly trying to integrate aspects of my life together in order to be able to be more open and happier. Over the last handful of years I’ve grown more distant from people due to trust issues stemming from betrayals and misunderstanding fundamentally who I am as a person. I feel I only show small portions of myself to certain people, and I don’t have any overlap in what is shared with people who know other things about me. I can’t be 100% me around 100% of the people in my life. But I can atleast be 100% myself with 80% of the people in my life. Unfortunately, work and family won’t be in that group for common reasons most would understand. However, I am fostering new friendships and as I rebuild my life here is me going forward: While I am bisexual and non-binary, I am also extremely disinterested in sex. This came from me almost being a father and a miscarriage ended my engagement. That came off a 2 year hiatus of my previous relationship ending on terrible conditions as well, and the attempts I have made since breaking off the engagement have been bad as well. So I am off the market. This I feel needs to be stated openly because as I form new friendships, I feel its unspoken that “a guy wanting to hang out with some woman” is being taken the wrong way; I am a creative type and so tend to seek out friendships with other creatives. Thats it, simple as that. I had a lot of traumas in my past, sexual, injuries, and otherwise. I’ve worked through most of them but not all. But I find opening up about it has helped me the most. If that makes people uncomfortable I am sorry, say so. I am untrusting of counselors but find some happiness in being able to have an ear to speak to. Some of these traumas go back 10+ years, and I’ve never spoken about them until recently.  My hobbies? I like to experience new things, be it food, cultures, traveling, religions, movies, doesn’t matter. I made a pact with myself when I was 20 that I’d never turn down an adventure no matter how small. Because of that, I have a ton of stories and its opened myself up to a lot of concepts. Im really good for road trips and parties, or just killing an afternoon with stimulating conversation. What do I do in my personal time? I love charity work, crafting, animals, and going hiking or to the park to be in nature. I am the kind of person who is terrible at names but will somehow remember your pets name before I remember yours. Animals love me, Ive never been attacked by a dog for example no matter the breed and despite being allergic to cats they love me too. Snakes unnerve me but I still play with them, love reptiles though! And I’ve always wanted a spare room full of canaries and fish tanks. Politically I am as liberal as they come. And I not like the trendy hot button kind of liberal, there are many views that the Democrats push that aren’t liberal ideals. I am farther left of Democrats, I am a registered Green. Though that still doesn’t give a fair idea of my beliefs, if you ever want a political discussion and meet me in person, if you can keep it civil you can ask me whatever.

This is a long post, but it doesn’t cover half of the stuff I just don’t talk about with the majority of people. Previously I used to maybe discuss one thing listed with a group and thats it. Now for my own happiness I am going to be integrating more in with everyone. The ones who don’t like it will drop off naturally, the ones who see a more complete version of me and are okay are welcome to stay. But I can’t keep presenting only a fraction of myself to people.