#trying to be more open about the adult art i do make and im trying to build more of a following on that twitter
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And I donāt just mean this in a funny joking way, Iām dead serious. Chase it out of your spaces, if anyone in your circle starts talking about art they think should be banned, call them out for being a book burner, if someone tries to start a hate campaign on a trans woman who did the crime of having a kink be very open about how fucking weird that person trying to do it is. Actively mock people who could vote but didnāt or went third party, make it uncool to have black and white thinking.
Make it uncomfortable for people to try and talk purity in fan culture, donāt let them sea lion or try and turn away, call them cops, treat it like the invasion of privacy it is, read those books people want banned. Report people who send hate or spam tags. No mercy, no quarter.
Make it unpopular, openly roll your eyes at people who have 20 paragraph rainbow uwu dni banners. Donāt cower or justify, speak plainly that yeah, you do read that kind of story, why do you care? Why are you so interested in my sex life? Why are you invading my privacy? Make them seem like the weirdo cop whoās causing problems because they are! Donāt downplay yourself, be firm about your understanding about the differences between fiction and reality, about your beliefs on the lesser evil. Ask the questions youve been too polite to ask when confronted, openly point out hypocrisy.
Hell! Report worse offenders to actual organizations, if you know someone is an adult in anti or other kinds of purity circles, more closely look into what theyāre doing and potentially be ready to report them for grooming kids because a lot of āsafe adultsā are actively sending kids porn. Go into their discord groups where they organize hate and report them for harassment and report users for sexual abuse. Hell, tell on those kids to their parents or authorities, contact that highschoolerās school with concerns.
Talk to your kids if you have to and make sure they understand this and if they start showing unusual purity obsessed behaviors get them to a therapist or professional asap. Talk to your friends who start leaning that way and make it clear youāre worried for them, treat it like you just got told theyāre becoming interested in Scientology or some other cult, because itās very much a cult. Like, it followed BITE near perfectly, purity culture is a cult.
Donāt beat yourself up for your failures as well, embrace that you are a sweaty animal who does weird things or likes unusual things and sometimes canāt do things, push back against the idea that you have to be pure and always have the Correct opinion, be wrong! Openly admit to being wrong! Be open about your mistakes! Allow yourself to step away from the discourse of the day and firmly state that you donāt need to fight whatever the internet has chosen as its battle ground and that this doesnāt make you a bad person.
People with purity complexes should not be allowed to yell their way into authority in fandom, and itāa getting to a point where we have multiple reports of it grooming young teens into situations where they end up in cult deprogramming. Purity Culture canāt just be ignored or blocked anymore, not when we have leftists cheering for fucking TRUMP because Harris wasnāt perfect, itās out of hands, and itās putting everything at fucking risk.
Stop playing nice, stop being the better person who just ignore and blocks and go ādude, you sound like a perverted copā and then report them for sexual harassment. no more, im done with trying to play nice and stay in my own space, Iām calling you fancop, Iām calling you a swerf. I am done.
We are done pretending that fanfiction causes incest or rape or whatever when fucking game of thrones exist and got like five seasons, we are done pretending that fictions effect on reality is 1 to 1, we are done pretending that propaganda is overt blatant mind control and also a 5 kudosed fic on ao3. We are done acting like tweeting the correct opinion counts as activism and that anyone not doing that is a monster. No more indulging in trying to explain the nuances, no more pretending they care about the nuances. Be blunt about the fact they want to hurt people, make it blunt that they are bullies. Make it fucking weird and to hold those objectively untrue beliefs, make fun of them for sleeping through English class, treat it like fandom flat earth. Itās not true, none of it was ever true, it came out of fucking ship wars.
Maybe this is putting too much blame on purity culture, but you know what? Iām done caring, not when itās groomed basically an entire generation to be okay with mob violence and the idea that you can put a quantifiable percentage of āgoodā to a person, that there is an objective good and bad side and that it is okay to do crimes against humanity if itās the ābad sideā, because itās getting people killed, itās ruining lives, and its starting to literally help destroy democracy.
Enough.
Honestly I think this has been a sign that we no longer need to try and tolerate or ignore purity culture, but that shit needs a hard stop now. I fully blame it as being one of the causes for the intense growing black and white thinking in a lot of youth or young adult spaces that prevents meaningful change or to take actions that help even if they arenāt perfectly pure
#this has been three am thoughts#Iām going to start calling these people swerfs because letās be real#theyāre basically fucking swerfs#donāt let them have silly titles like antis#call them racist swerfs
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for folks who aren't aware, i have an adult twitter where i post some more ns/f/w art but everything is always posted first on my patreon ^-^ pls don't be weird and if you're an adult feel free to give my page a follow.
#trying to be more open about the adult art i do make and im trying to build more of a following on that twitter#i enjoy making adult art and its a major form of my income but my current income has been cut in half because i went on a patreon haitus#for a few months while starting grad school. unfortunately my lack of presence meant people moved on to creators who were active#so im just trying to rebuild what i had before that hiatus#especially because i still need to pay rent for another yr while being a full time student#anyway if u decide to give my twit a follow pls read the carrd on that page#thanks!#if anyone has any qs feel free to send em my way
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thereās no way to express that people keep randomly reaching out to me to talk daily and at length and keep pushing for my space in my life and i really donāt need or more importantly WANT that politely thereās no good way to say that politely
#personal#it just sounds awful! and it makes me feel kinda bad!!!#but people keep like contacting me and just#iām responding but not reciprocating? if that makes sense? and theyāre not doing anything bad by trying to make new connections#and if i really donāt enjoy talking to someone i should just tell them#but itās not even that i donāt like these people or talking itās just the frequency and again no good way to say#hey! iām not really open to expanding our relationship rn. ur fine i like you fine but im dealing with a lot and dont need anything new in#my life in the moment. like no good way to say#and also i hate the ball being put in my court. you came to me. i wasnāt seeking anything i was just here#and then with several of these relationships from their end they want to vent or talk about something that needs real consideration#like art criticism or saying what i like or again venting and other stuff#and itās like man i am. drinking heavily. iām having breakdowns bc im not sure my mom is gaslighting me on purpose#i have a full#time job i routinely do OT for and a million other things#i donāt want to be anyoneās rock rn#at least not anyone whoās not a close friend or family#cause if it was any of my besties asking hey can you come to my house so iām not alone :(#iām on my way thatās barley anything#girl from high school i had one class with who i have never hung out with uh. no#i donāt want to go to ur house after a 12 hour shift#and thereās a very mean question of like. do you have friends ur closer wirh?#not even judging just like we are not close. do you have closer friends?#and then itās hard to do replies bc like how are you graham ! howās life!#i donāt feel comfortable telling you the intimacies of my life and struggles rn#but i canāt give the basic good and you bc you are actively asking for more than that#so i have to think of an appropriate response ask you back and now itās a vent session about ur life#and then so much is put on you for something you didnāt ask for#like this girl replied to my insta story like can we play iphone games again :(#as much love as i can muster we are grown adults i was just at work. just send the game!!!#i know iām the weird one here itās just. a lot of people want relationships with me and iām tired and donāt need or want more at the moment
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favorite author i have never read
hey there buckaroos thank you for all the DEEP DISCUSSIONS we are having a great time here on tumblr. thought today i could make a post that is slightly more difficult its not all sunshine days ahead and requires a little introspection. LOOK AT US we have all arrived here together through trust and love and i think we can keep this going. chuck made this post on other platforms years ago and i think it was said very well then and led to some good discussion, so i am going to repost here. okay lets go deep bud here we go:
i would like to spend moment today talking about common joke i hear online (and even too my face at conventions). this is jokerman way i hear ALL the dang time: 'chuck tingle is my favorite author i have never read' or less jokerman way but of āi have never read his books but i love chuck tingle'.
first of all, THANK YOU buds. this is not way of call out post to make you feel bad, i appreciate your way and understand you are trying to support. this is not attack on your message and from bottom of chucks heart THANK YOU.
BUT i have to say something about this. please consider what you are saying when you post this. would you send this as message to STEPHEN KING or NEIL GAIMAN or NK JEMISIN? i doubt this. it would seem VERY RUDE to message other authors. just imagine trotting up to a writer and saying āi would NEVER read your books hahaā but it is sent to chuck all the dang time.
obvious reason buds say it to chuck is that i am queer author with a unique way. yes i write in realm of wild fantasy and erotic pairings, but by saying āi have never read chuck BUT' you are really saying 'i am posting my support of this but PLEASE DONT THINK I AM REALLY INTERESTED IN THIS PERSONALLY.' there are similar distasteful jokes that i will not repeat involving saying 'no bud on bud pounds' after a sentence that works in similar way.
is sexual art really that bad? is queer art really that embarrassing? is unusual outsider art really that funny?
it is one thing if your preferred pound is not one of chucks tinglers, that is TOTALLY FINE BUD, but if you are an adult i would say 'is it REALLY that scary to read a book about a way of sex that is not yours? is it that difficult to think that something that seems silly to you could actually MOVE YOU in an important way? do you HAVE to disconnect yourself from lgtbqia art with a 'but i don't read this myself?'
keep in mind, there are gay tinglers, there are asexual tinglers, there are trans tinglers, there are select your own timeline tinglers, there are horror tinglers. TINGLERS FOR EVERY TASTE. the thing that buds are often REALLY saying with āfavorite author i have never readā is āthis is WEIRD and dont be confused because im NOT WEIRD IM COOL DONT THINK I ACTUALLY LIKE THISā. funny enough even the proudly fun and wild and unique buckaroos will STILL say this line, maybe without taking time to think of what it means or how rude it is?
WHY would you never read a chuck book? because my way is queer? because it is neurodivergent? even if that is not there reason or even if YOUR ARE ALSO PERSONALLY QUEER AND NEURODIVERGENT TOO, think about what the joke is IMPLYING.
is sincerely enjoying something thats kind of unusual that difficult? do we really have to slather it in irony and āso bad its good?ā before reposting?
in closing as man name of chuck i will say you can still make this joke if you want buckaroos i know you are just having a good time proving love in your own way. i am not upset with you bud and i appreciate your support in any way you give it. there are some buckaroos who just CANT AFFORD tinglers and that is an important way i understand as well. obviously this conversation does not apply to those buds. but for the rest of us trotting along, MAYBE think about what you are really saying with this jokerman way first, and MAYBE try cracking open a tingler because you might be surprised. its not that scary bud. thank you for listening
being sincere is VERY COOL and VERY PUNK ROCK. i encourage all buckaroos out there to give it a try.
LOVE IS REAL
#chuck tingle#tingleverse#art theory#queer#lgbtqia#outsider art#neurodivergent#autism#irony#sincerity#love is real#favorite author i have never read
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Saw some ppl talking about Reverse Robins and i had thoughts
Talking abt u guys @eldritchdreamss @brucewaynehater101
Why kill Tim when you could kill baby Jason? What I want is for all of them to keep their own backstories and personalities (Developed in line with the story of course) So ofc i had to write a 1,000 word brainrot abt it.
(Also i'll only be going over the main 4 batbros for now i will add more later but these guys are the ones im most passionate about so here we go)
Damian
Let Damian come in, desperate to be of use and be worthy of his father, only for a softer, less jaded bruce (since jason hasnt died yet) to help him open up his heart and let him act as a kid. With no competition for so long, I imagine he and Bruce get along very well while he works with him. Yeah, they need to work on the no killing deal and Damian's... i guess impulse control? But i think it would be easier with very intensely focused reparenting; no distractions of other kids you know? No favoring or anything.
I see Damian growing up as a stoic, jaded adult. He's had a rough life. Maybe he sticks with the vigilante business. but I really love headcanons where he gets out of it, and focuses on something calmer, like his art. (I do appreciate and love the veterinarian Damian AUs, but im going for FULL calmness, you know? And doctor/vet work is Not calm lol)
So yeah, maybe he grows a real passion for heroism, maybe he doesn't? Maybe he goes on to be an artist and that's just what he does. Bro is ready to settle down as a scarred, veteran trophy husband and i adore him for that.
(Sorry lol i just love Damian and i love the idea of him growing out of both of his parent's legacies. Let him live his own life!!! He fights so so hard for at least 15 years. ALL 15 years of his life. He deserves to have some peace.)
Tim
Tim i think would need a much different story to join the Batfam. He still starts out as a stalker who follows batman and. . . . . . . Redimar (meaning Redemption iykyk (I just spend 17min researching names rip)) at night, takes photos, etc... Since Damian doesn't die, maybe he finds Tim? and like, tim is like 11 and Damian is 17 or 18. He's started going out as Redimar less and less, not that B really minds? In fact hes probably happy for his son so...
But then Damian finds Tim, and now he has to keep going out because he can't let this kid get himself killed like this. He would hold himself accountable since hes the only reason Tim keeps going out so much- also i imagine Tim follows Redimar more than Batman.
Cue a classic Tim Joining The Batfam plotline. They get to know each other better, get a grasp on Tim's situation, Damian finally introduces Tim to Bruce... (Probably something like Dami: "Father, this is my new brother. Timothy, say hello to Father," Tim: "Hello, Father," Dami: "Perfect." Bruce: "*falls off the batchair*)
Anyway, so, Tim ends up kinda just merging with the Waynes. They start training him, its all good and nice, and Tim makes his own little hero team unlike Damian, which is actually pretty interesting here; its Tim who made the first young hero team. Damian only ever had Jon (Superboy 1 in this!!) and he finds Young Just Us and becomes a great leader and its all fine and dandy.
Tim and Damian get along well. Damian is the sage older brother whos kinda distant, but only because he has such high emotional walls (but secretly a softy). He is very much like Bruce- nope, nevermind, hes definitely worse than Bruce in this AU, since Bruce is depicted as being much more agreeable before Jason's death, you know? So yeah, Damian is the emotionally constipated bitch in the fam and we love him for that. But hey!! Tim does manage to get through his walls! And Bruce does sometimes too!! (Tho i imagine Bruce and Damian's relationship to be very.. idk let me try to expalain. Dami: "Father." Bruce: "Son :)" Dami: "Tt." Bruce: *nods* "Hrn." Dami: "Hmph." Bruce: "Hm.") DO U PICK UP WHAT IM PUTTING DOWN--- lmfao. They hardly need words.
Tim ends up growing up very very capable. Once his parents die, he gets a little jaded, but hes still Tim. He and Damian become kind of an... ice prince duo? If you get what I mean. But Tim is the one whos actually the ice prince, Damian is secretly a HUGE softie. He is Delicate and Tim protects him lmfao.
Jason
Jason comes along like he does in canon. Has the same backstory. Tries to steal the Batmobile's wheels. Tim is sleeping over at Damian's flat for the night, so its just Bruce. They bond. Shit happens. Jason joins the fam.
I don't imagine them not getting along, but they don't immediately hit it off either. Jason is wary of all of them for a time, but he ends up warming up to Damian pretty fast after realizing what a softie he is. He pokes fun at Damian and Damian just freaking takes it lmao. Hes an adult he cannot be disturbed. Bro has seen too much and he finds Jason adorable. (Dami: "You were never this cute, Timothy." <- he is lying. Tim: *offended* "What the fu- flip!?" Jason: "Lmao Tim just say fuck." Dami: *deadpan stare* Tim: "JASON NO DONT SAY THE FUCK WORD-") ahem.
anywho and then Jason dies rip skill issue ratio.
The whole batfam is heartbroken. Genuinely shattered. Jason was a light in their lives. Not that they were WITHOUT any light, but Jason was the epitome of a sunshine child.
It's been too long since Damian has killed someone. Bro's god oodles and oodles of trauma. He can't bring himself to kill the Joker.
but Tim can.
It's a whole dramatic thing; Damian feels awful that he made his- now only- little brother kill. Bruce is hella upset but feels responsible for not seeing how badly both of his kids were handling the death of their brother. Tim goes a little off the deep end.
Things turn out.... okay. sort of. but not really. Tim changes his hero name to Red Cardinal. He feels pretty lost. Maybe he stumbles into Ra's al Ghul or smthn idk maybe smthn happens there perhaps. Maybe Damian has to put on Redimar again and rescue him? But its less of a rescue and more of a "Stop joining the dark side Tim jesus christ-" (and it does work).
They go home. Tim gets a boyfriend or two. Damian falls into his art. Bruce is throwing himself into work. They're all kind of a mess, but they keep moving.
and then
Dick
(lmao that sounded wrong)
ahem; and then the circus comes to town. The batfam- well, Tim, Damian, and Bruce- all decide to get together to do something fun. Take the opportunities given, yk? So they go to the circus together.
Wham bam rip the falling Flying Graysons.
They see Dick, breaking apart, and they know they have to do something. Bruce is the first to move. Then Tim. Damian is the last.
It's pretty quick getting Dick home, since Bruce is already a foster parent cuz of Tim yk. So Dick doesn't have to suffer in Juvie at all really. But that doesn't change the fact that he is ANGRY.
Dick is SO angry. he wants to kill the person who murdered his parents. He knows what he saw.
The fam of course do their best to investigate. Mostly Tim, who feels unworthy of being around an innocent little kid after his whole.... villain era, i suppose lol. (ofc Dick thinks Tim doesnt like him lol misunderstanding arc GO)
The whole "Dick accepts that justice is better than murder kinda maybe FOR NOW" storyline happens, and Dick becomes the conniving, bright, little Robin we all know and love. (Thinking of the Young Justice Cartoon Robin (but not the characters- just Dick's character) aaaand
Womp womp GUESS WHOS BACK
Jason's Back
but i'll leave that for later.
#my writing#personal#batfam#reverse robins#batman#damian wayne#jason todd#tim drake#bruce wayne#dick grayson#batbros#batkids#batfam fanfic
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Itās this time of the year again, folks. Time to wrap up the art Ive made in the last 12 months in another Year in Review! Iāve noticed that this is my fifth Year in Review in a row, so Iāll be making an extra post looking back on the progress in those last 5 years!
I've got a lot to say about this year, but purely art wise, I've gone all when it comes to comics, damn! I've kinda found a format that is messy, and therefore more time efficient, yet still looks good. I even made 2 animatics and lotsa shorts/reels! All that on top of opening coms twice, and, oh yeah, MAKING A WHOLE ASS 4MIN ANIMATION ON MY OWN.
How is my hand still alive.
2023 has beenā¦.interesting, to say the least. The first half year I was working on my thesis project, aka making an animated short all on my own (in the art department), which makes it honestly surprising how much I managed to churn out between animating. Trigun rly did have me in a choke hold.
Summer was a bit more spotty, esp. with me not being able to draw anything during August as I was writing my thesis (and doing commissions). And towards the end of the year, Kingdom Hearts tried to save me, but alas, Genshin Impact has finally sunk its teeth into me and dragged me to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It all started with me watching a story summary and lore videos while I was sick after my thesis and I was too intrigued to not dig deeper and well, first I fell in love with Kaeya and then the ships started dropping in left and right.
Iām not gonna lie, the last few months have been weird. I finished my masters in October, and have been on job hunt since, sadly without success so far. Iām existing in this weird limbo of still not grasping Iām not a student anymore after 18 years in education, not really being able to accept Iām an adult, yet desperately trying to find something so I can make a routine, cos rn Im too scared to build a rhythm as I know Iāll have a so much harder time readjusting again. Itās left me in a weird emotional state, where most of the time I feel fine, but when it counts, thereās just, nothing. No joy at getting my diploma, no anticipation to finally go to a convention again, neither any sadness hearing my grandfather died. It frustrates me that it extends to my art as well, thereās excitement over ideas and concepts, but no motivation to pick up the pencil, which makes me either not finish art at all or making so many shortcuts and just ending up with sth not satisfactory to me since itās not the idea I sought after.
Tho, not everything is doom and gloom. I DID finish a whole ass short animation and got my masters degree, that IS sth to be proud of. Also, while Im struggling at drawing, Iāve also kinda started integrating my shortcuts into my style and some stuff Iāve thrown together actually turns out real good nowadays. Also, and this might be a bit of a weird one, Iām so fucking happy to know I can still enjoy gay ships. Iāve been a bit uncertain over the last few years because when I was around 16-18, I had a real big yaoi phase, which mostly came from the fact so much stuff came out that tickled my brain in the right way (Free, Haikyuu, etc.). But over the years, my enthusiasm died down, and I even started to resent some ships because itās all some fandoms produced. I often found myself liking a hetero ship more than the popular gay ship, which really made me not wanna stick around because I did not care for most fanart and you can only go through a tag with art you donāt care about so long before you lose interest. I think in retrospect that it rly had nothing to do with the ships being gay ships but rather cos the fans just shoved it in your face when you didnāt care (and shipping culture nowadays also can get real scary). But Iām so happy to see I can still get obsessed with a ship and itās all thanks to Haikaveh/Kavetham. It really just needed the right flavour for me to dig in again. And oh my god, I FINALLY like a ship with a SHIT TON of art and fanfictions, no more scrounging the crumbs from the bottom of the barrel.Ā
Anyways, enough lamenting. Hereās to hoping I can bite my tongue and get shit started properly in 2024, and that my brainrots may make me obsessed enough to churn out an obscene amount of fanart again.
#art year in review#anime-grimmy#fanart#sketch#comic#animatic#undertale#trigun#legend of zelda#monster hunter#kingdom hearts#undead unluck#genshin impact
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A Rough Night
A Sven & Elex Snz Drabble
ā ļøContent Warningā ļø
Allergens, Snz, Violence, Cursing
Description: The boys try to escape the stress by heading out to the bar. Yet, it doesnāt go well when a nearby patron triggers the badgerās sensitive allergies!
Authorās Notes: Ohā¦.Hey guys š
Iāve had this one sitting for about a month and havenāt had the will to write because wellā¦.my life has been insane while going through this divorce, moving, meeting someone new and trying to figure my shit out. š Found myself with the slight will to live tonight, so I finished this idea up! Theres no smut, I KNOW IM SORRYā¦.but I had a lot of fun writing this out. Hope you all enjoy and Iām sorry Iām constantly coming and going. Been a rough year. I love yall who still interact and wait patiently for my next release. You real ones š„ŗš @aller-geez Owns Sven and did the cover art!
Elex and Sven pushed open the heavy wooden doors, the sounds of raucous laughter and clinking glasses assaulted their ears. The dimly lit bar was filled with a thick haze of smoke, making it difficult to see through the throngs of people milling about. Elex, with his dull green hair, felt like an alien in this dingy establishment. He wrinkled his nose at the overwhelming stench of stale beer and sweat that hung heavily in the air. "Ugh, this place fuckinā stinks," he grumbled, his mismatched eyes scanning the crowd, disgusted at the faces that lingered upon them. His annoyance at having to be there was palpable while they stood just inside the entrance.
āDonāt be such a sour puss, Els, I need this night out, and I need a couple drinks to unwind, weāve been cooped up in the house for WEEKS,ā the Cheshire pouted, sticking his tongue out playfully at his somewhat grumpy boyfriend. In response, Elex rolled his eyes in a mixture of annoyance and resignation.
āWeāre here arenāt we? Stop your bitchinā lets go get drunk,ā reaching out to grip his boyfriend by the wrist, knowing the hand would be too intimate in such a public setting. Sven was used to this behavior by now and didnāt care, so long as he got to do what they came there to do. Get ripped, yap, maybe snack on some peanuts, and go back home. An adult version of touching some grass. They each walked up to the bar and slid into the empty barstools provided, next to an older gentleman on one side, and a younger on the other. Elex scowled unpleasantly from a side view glance as he slipped into his seat. āWhiskey on the rocks,ā the badger ordered off his drink of choice for the night. āSame thing,ā Sven chirped with a quick raise of his index before swinging his body slightly over to face more in the otherās direction. āSo, tomorrow, Iām thinking about upgrading our internet services, shit is too fuckinā slow to achieve the game play and stream from what we have currentlyā¦itās fuckinā up my views,ā he pushed back a few strands of stray teal hair that dangled just above his orange gaze. As the bartender slid them their drinks, Elex nodded toward the man before returning his attention to 7. āYeah okay, well how much extra is that gonna run us do you know? We have some wiggle room but not if the bill goes from $50 to $200ā¦.I donāt knowā¦.ā feeling rather skeptical of all the ways Svenās streaming has sort of cost them between his personal build, games, internet, and other equipment. He was glad his boyfriend had something he enjoyed doing, and was even able to make a good profit off it, but it felt like everyday he was buying some high tech keyboard, or upping their bills which made it feel like they werenāt really progressing financially. It was starting to stress the badger out, he hadnāt been getting any marks lately since the police were on high alert. Some seasons were just better than others so he had been relying on selling copper, but he was running low on spots to harvest from. It was a miracle they were even making ends meet.
Sven lifted the glass to his lips, taking a slow, deliberate sip of his alcoholic beverage. His body language exuded nonchalance, as if their conversation was about something insignificant and unimportant, he shrugged. Elex could see the indifference in Sven's eyes and it only fueled his own anger. He could feel the heat rising in his chest as he tried to keep his emotions in check. The clinking of ice cubes echoed in the background, a stark contrast to the tension between the two men. āJust a shrug? Seriously? Sven you know weāve been relying on MY shit to keep us afloat, your fuckinā video games arenāt paying bills,ā his voice cut through like a sharp knife through the chest. āTheyāre not? Then how did we get $200 worth of groceries yesterday?ā With an intense narrowing of his vibrant orange eyes, he directed a heated glare towards his boyfriend. The thoughtless disregard for his feelings left him stunned and incredulous. He internally scoffed, his āfucking video gamesāā¦.as if streaming wasnāt a real line of work. āYouāre about to really piss me offā¦.Yes that is useful but our MORTGAGE, and the PG&E, and you know, CAR paymentsā¦.shit is adding up and every fuckinā week thereās something new added to the list of your god damn bullshitā¦I support you wanting to chase a passion but not when itās effecting the life we have worked so hard to build,ā Elex quickly downed the remainder of his drink, wishing for a slight buzz to ease the hopelessness he felt in this conversation.
āLook, I get it, but it fuckinā takes money to make it so, MAYBE, get off my ass a little bitā¦can we talk about this later? When we ARENT trying to just enjoy the evening?ā With an exasperated shake of his head and a dismissive roll of his eyes, Sven reached out for his glass, the ice cubes clinking against the sides as he lifted it to his lips. Letting out a frustrated sigh, Els knocked on the wooden bar with his knuckles, signaling to the busy bartender for another drink. The sound of glasses clinking and people talking filled the air of the crowded bar, but Elex was lost in his own thoughts as he waited for his order to be fulfilled. Finally, the bartender caught his signal and obliged, sliding a fresh glass towards him with practiced ease.
āFine but youāre not go-ā¦n..Hāā¦Hihā¦ā he struggled suddenly, noticeably, his mouth started to jar open and it hit him unexpectedly. The older man next to him, had taken off his jacket, wafting a gust of fragrant air directly within Elexās personal space. āSon of a -ā¦HāUhtTSCHhiew! hāUshhāiew! etUSCHOOOO!ā a sudden series of sneezes escaped his body, his eyes watering, nose and throat suddenly itchier than theyād been in a long time. Was that Gain? Tide pods? He didnāt know, all he knew was the asshole beside him was sending him into a full tizzy. He sniffled gently trying to hide the fact he was slowly turning into a leaking mess, grabbing a bar napkin to wipe his nose carefully. āShit, you good Els?ā Sven reached out to comfort his boyfriend, a flattened palm against his back. The heated urgency of their conversation suddenly melting away when he realized the storm had hit his lover. āY-Yeah Iām F-ā¦hhāIEXsHHH! HāUMFShhhhiew! hāUSSHH!!ā it came out full force, he did what he could to capture them within the confines of the napkin he clutched within his palm. Just great, just what he needed on a night out to relax, typical. āBless you, Elā¦ā Sven getting slightly worried they may actually have to just head back home, maybe pick up some drinks from the gas station instead, despite how badly Sven needed a change of pace. āWe can head home if you wa-ā¦.ā āNo, weāre nod leabingā¦.SndFff,ā he snuffled loudly, trying to snort up any of the excessive leakage that threatened to pour down his face. This was the absolute worst. Curse him and his rat ass allergies. He hucked and hacked, his mouth jarring open and closed as he fought against the allergens making a nest within his sinuses. The bartender slid them their second drinks, taking longer as the bar filled up with more and more patrons. A few people turning to glance with an aura of judgement, but the badger glared daggers and they quickly turned away. āNosey fuckin-ā¦.HhāuhSSCCHHHHwww! ehhāTSHIEW! hhāIEXSH!!ā this time the green haired man blew within the crook of his arm, wetting the spot of skin there with a plume of saliva. āGrossā¦.ā he groaned weakly, irritated he didnāt have a whole lot of room to release. āBabe seriously we can justā¦.ā suddenly cut off by a lifted brown speckled palm. āStop, jusd dring your fuggin shid, SNDfF,ā He let out a loud, wet snort and reached for the small package of tissues inside the pocket of his jeans. His nose was red and moist from the constant blows as he battled with the scent that still lingered around him. He took a deep breath and tried to clear his congested sinuses but only felt the sharp sting of pain in his nostrils.
āHey, guy, can you fuckinā not? Youāre grossing us all out,ā A random person from across the way chimed in with a snarky remark. The badger slowly turned his head, almost like something out of a horror movie, and locked eyes with the person before responding without hesitation.
āCope, fugg fade,ā retorting so quickly it took the man almost by surprise, blinking a few times to make sure he had heard the badger correctly. āWhat was that, bro?ā he challenged, finishing his beer and slamming the empty glass bottle down on the wooden bar. Elex scoffed, sniffling a bit to try and prepare himself for another response. āCope. Fugg. Fade.ā he said it slowly, emphasizing each word though sounding less intimidating with a stuffed up nose. It didnāt stop him as he stared the patron down with watery daggers. The whites of his eyes had already started to redden.
The tension in the bar thickened as the confrontation escalated. Elex could feel a wave of exhaustion wash over him, fatigue setting into his bones from both the argument with Sven and the relentless assault on his senses brought on by his sudden allergies. He longed for nothing more than to escape this suffocating atmosphere, to retreat to the familiarity of his own space where he could gather his thoughts in peace.
Sven, sensing the volatile energy crackling around them, placed a steadying hand on Elex's shoulder. Despite their disagreement, he knew that Elex needed support now more than ever. āLetās get out of here,ā Sven spoke softly, his voice cutting through the ambient noise of the bar.
With a swift motion, the badger slid his shoulder out from under the catās palm, Svenās arm falling back down to his side. āShitā¦ā The Cheshire cursed from within. The bomb had been set off and it was only a matter of time before his boyfriend started swinging.
āOh, so weāre going to have a problem then?ā the man stood up straighter, walking over and standing within a few inches of the green haired ticking time bomb. Elex snickered with a cocky resolve, standing up himself and meeting the other man eye to eye.
āLoogs, do me, youāre the only one with the problem here, fugg nugged,ā his lips pulled up to reveal a strikingly white pair of sharpened teeth that complemented the long fangs that always stuck out past his lips. āWanna dance?ā it actually felt relieving to take a stand at this point, giving him a bit of, slightly fresher air to escape the scent of the old manās detergent that lingered on his clothing.
In that charged moment, the bar seemed to hold its breath, everyone's attention drawn to the brewing confrontation between Elex and the stranger. The man's eyes flashed with anger as he clenched his fists, ready to take things to the next level. However, just before anyone could throw a hit, the badgerās sinuses betrayed him into another set of expressive blows. āEhhātshhhhiew!!" hāUSHhāiEW!ā without time to cover himself, the badger openly, and almost proudly, sneezed a cloud of spittle and spray across the other manās face.
āWhat the FUCK!?ā the guy exclaimed with rage, getting ready to charge up his fist and bring it across the space to Elexās jaw, but missed as the badger took a quick side step to avoid him. All the while blotting, and dabbing at his insanely runny nose that threatened to drip down his lips and chin. Elex chuckled, wiping his face clean with the last tissue in his package.
āOh goody, my turn,ā he smirked as he tossed the crumpled tissue aside and lunged forward with surprising agility, socking the man square in the nose a loud crack echoing the space between them all. The bar erupted into chaos as the two men grappled, fists flying and bodies colliding in a whirlwind of aggression. Sven watched in shock, torn between wanting to intervene and knowing that Elex needed to work through his frustrations on his own terms.
Amidst the chaos, a burly bouncer seemed to materialize, his massive form cutting through the crowd like a battleship in a stormy sea. With a swift motion, he hoisted both Elex and the stranger apart, their struggles becoming feeble against the bouncer's iron grip.
"Alright, that's enough out of both of you!" the bouncer boomed, his voice commanding attention from every corner of the bar. Elex panted, his chest heaving as he shot a defiant glare at the man who had provoked him.
Sven rushed forward, placing himself between Elex and the stranger. "Sven...get the fuck out of the way," the man growled, his voice thick with anger as he tried to maneuver around Sven to get to the bleeding patron. But the bouncer held him back with a firm grip, his massive arms like steel beams that refused to budge.
"Elex, enough!" Sven's voice was urgent, pleading as he turned to the badger. "Let's go. Now." having to be the only voice of reason to which the heated badger would obey. Sliding two twenties onto the bar before working to rush his heated lover out of the bar.
Elex stood there, breathing heavily as he eyed the stranger who was still struggling against the bouncer's hold. For a moment, it seemed like he was going to make another move, but then he relented with a frustrated huff.
"Fine," Elex finally replied, brushing past Sven and making his way towards the exit of the bar. Sven followed closely behind, shooting a quick apologetic glance at the stranger before hurrying after his boyfriend.
As they stepped out into the cool night air, Elex took a deep breath and leaned against the brick wall of the establishment, the icy night air hitting his weakened lungs he started to realize just how bad of shape he was in from the allergy attack, now that the adrenaline was wavering. He gasped as he worked to regulate himself.
Sven stood beside him, his gaze filled with concern as he watched Elex's labored breathing. Without a word, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small inhaler, offering it to the badger.
"Here, use this," Sven spoke softly, his voice laced with worry. Elex hesitated for a moment before taking the inhaler and pressing it to his lips, inhaling deeply as the soothing medication traveled through his lungs. The tightness in his chest began to ease, and he felt a wave of relief wash over him.
"Thanks," Elex murmured, handing the inhaler back to Sven. The cat nodded, tucking it back into his pocket before turning his attention back to the badger.
"Are you okay?" Sven asked, his eyes searching Elex's for any sign of distress. The green haired man gave him a small nod, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Yeah, I'm okayā¦feel actually a whole lot better now that Iām not suffocating under the scent of that guyās clothesā¦snDfffā¦ā he sniffled roughly, trying to break through the stuffed bridge of his nose. Despite the scuffle, the badger barely walked out with a scratch, but the same couldnāt be said for the other man.
āWhat am I going to do with you? Seriously, youāre lucky if he doesnāt charge you with assault! Dumbass!ā scolding his boyfriend for the way he had unleashed his pent up rage upon the stranger.
āHey, he swung first,ā shrugging his shoulders before pulling a pack of cigarettes out from his pocket. Sven sighed in exasperation, watching as Elex flicked a cigarette out of the pack and lit it up with a practiced hand. He knew it was pointless to argue with the stubborn badger when he was in this mood, so he simply stood there in silence, the cool night air weaving around them like a comforting blanket.
As Elex took a drag from his cigarette, he exhaled a cloud of smoke that mingled with the night, disappearing into the darkness above. The tension that had gripped him earlier seemed to dissipate with each puff, the adrenaline from the fight slowly ebbing away.
After a moment of quiet contemplation, Sven finally spoke. "We should probably get out of here before the bouncer comes out and starts asking for names," he suggested, his voice calm but firm. Elex glanced over at him, taking in the concern etched on his features.
"Yeah, you're right," Elex replied, crushing the stub of his cigarette under his boot. With a final release of smoke from between his lips he lazily slung an arm around the catās waist. Unusual for the badger to display such affections, the cat narrowed his eyebrows and looked his lover up and down.
āYou good?ā The Cheshire asked cautiously, but leaning into the intimacy.
āYeah, Iām good,ā Elex responded with a soft smile, his usual tough exterior cracking to reveal a vulnerable side that only Sven seemed to elicit. The cat returned the smile, his worries easing as he felt the warmth of Elexās touch against his side.
Together, they walked into the night, the street lamps casting a soft glow over their figures as they navigated the emptying streets. The events of the evening lingered in the air between them, but there was also an unspoken understanding that they would face whatever came their way together. Even if it meant being broke for a while to make sure Sven could set up his dream. Suddenly, those problems seemed less worrying after Elex was able to let off some steam.
As they turned a corner and disappeared into the shadows of the night, a sense of calm settled over them. In that moment, all that mattered was each other, their bond unbreakable in the face of any asshole that tried to ruin their good night. There was still time to turn things around.
And so, with the badgerās arm secured around his taller counterpart, Elex and Sven ventured into the unknown night, ready to face the rest of their evening in the comfort of their own home, albeit, with a quick stop at the liquor store for snacks and whiskey.
The End
Authorās Notes: I know I know, itās short and sexless, but wasnāt that fun? š I love angry Elex, being mean and beating people up while suffering from allergies. š¤§ I enjoyed it, I hope you did too!
#oc#original character#writer#fic writer#snzblr#snz kink#snz#snz ocs#snzfucker#Svelex#Sven Wastari#Elex Parker#snz fucker#snzfet#snzzzzz#snz fet#snz things#sneeze fic#allergy fic#sneeze oc#sneeze#sneeze blog#sneeze kink#sneezefic#sneezefucker#sneezeblr
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do you have any advice for opening commissions? i feel like you have them very professionally set up, and i have pretty bad social anxiety, so it might be helpful to hear tips for communicating with customers and such, or setting up a fair tos!
hi so, maybe i do have some advice!!! <33 thank you so so much for the kindness & seeing me as professional lol iāve been doing comms for 2-3 years and i must say.. still getting the hang of a lot of things. you go through a lot of trial + error trying to figure out what works best for you, so remember theres no truly right way to go about comms! they should all fit the needs, pace, and benefit of you and your work ethic!
what i did personally is start off at some lower prices just to test the waters and get the ball rolling. i priced rendered characters at i think, $24 per character? possibly lower, i cant quite remember. and then i gradually went up as i started to progress in my art style more + had more people coming in.
with customers, i have a lot of anxiety as well! im autistic, so i never like making a customer feel like i dont truly care abt the commission by accidentally sounding too flat or anything. i tend to RLLY overthink it lol so we make sure we are extra talkative + kind about their comm! giving them compliments on the character, showing genuine excitement so they know theyre in good hands! (we love engaging esp when the customer seems VERY excited or enthusiastic abt the commission!)
a lot of irl turmoil tends to happen in our life which can make a comm delayed sometimes. could be severe mental health problems, just being busy w/ shit in general. its important to just keep your customers up to date, especially if its going to take a realllyyy long time or the customer likes frequent updates.
i used to be able to get shit done in like a night. but, with an actual line up/queue of comm work we progressively started taking longer and longer esp as we transitioned from a teenager starting out and into a busy adult with persistent mental health issues. (plus our art becomes more complex as time goes on, so that has to be taken into account) tbhs, depending on your availability and how much effort goes into your work, and as the demand grows, you need to charge accordingly and just be honest with your clientele.
as for TOS do what makes you comfortable! make your limits known and put your foot down when a request or any topic makes you uncomfortable. dont let your customers get inappropriate with you or try to make you feel bad if they dont wanna pay for what they ask for, etc. i also recommend requesting payment after sketch/half and half when starting out just so you can get some experience under your belt + assure future clients that youre professional n wont scam them! (if you plan on switching to payment upfront in the future)
just remember that u are not a machine, you are a human being making art for someone else. putting love n effort into your craft, time and effort. take your time getting the hang of comm stuff, things dont have to be perfect in your setup at first.
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Signs everything I thought I knew was wrong
I needed to dump my thoughts and feelings somewhere because I feel like im annoying my support group. I think my egg finally cracked Wednesday and immediately I had to start researching and buying gender affirming things. Anyways, here's my list of signs that I wish I had seen like a decade ago, please be kind I'm very new to opening up like this
Another Girl in elementary threatened me with makeup and cross dressing and I wanted it bad.
I think this one is such a major factor in why I feel like this has to be real. Its well before puberty and well before I knew transitioning was a thing. Just a natural thought for someone whoās the wrong gender
Multiple times pleading with god to just make me a girl
Still cis tho obv
Thinking if I held still for long enough in bed, some sort of magic would make me a girl and fix this wrong body of mine
I still remember the dreams where im a girl, i legit became proficient at lucid dreaming just for it.
Ah fuck the egg_irl memes are hitting too hard
My favorite game character is Bridget, listening back to the song is hitting really hard actually
Legit had an anxiety attack and took a day off work because my transfem friend said ācareful, i said the same thing before i came outā
Wishing i had magic to turn myself into a girl
Playing female characters just to feel cute
Putting on leggings in highschool, then sleeping in them
Some female mannerisms
Kinda hating my poor skin but couldnt do anything about it since thats only for women am i right fellas
Mild euphoria when someone says good girl
Envisioning myself as the girl during fantasies
Jealousy over a womans body
Ive never seen any man sit cross legged at a table the way i do, idk why that one pops up but iāve seen plenty of other girls do it
Desire to steal womans clothing to cross dress
At current moment I have no desire to bite my nails because I want them to grow out, even though I was a nail biter for 27 years
In pre school, tried to convince another girl to swap clothes with me
In pre school, loved pretending i was at a hair salon and the other girls in the school would give me a haircut. It gave me ASMR
Speaking of ASMR, I like exclusively listen to makeup, nail and hair roleplays
Feeling like i dont want to transition because I could be ugly
After realization, I dont have nearly as much of an appetite, maybe subconscious bodily sabotage in the form of overeating
Not seeing any future when I tried to plan my life better, before I ever considered the option of becoming trans
Feeling hurt when my dad made somewhat transphobic comments about my trans cousin
Wondering what my parents would do if i woke up one day as a woman and had to explain that to them
Genuine euphoria at the idea of trying on womens clothing, but thinking that i was weird and kinky
Playing with stuffed animals with my best childhood friend, a fellow girl
Hating my balls
I bet it feels good to cry, its probably cathartic
Hating body hair god i hate this so much, Iām just bad at shaving it and dont want to be covered in razor burns and have to explain to coworkers why I shaved my legs and arms
Hating my nose
Adopting a super masculine persona
Forcing myself to have a much deeper voice to not feel any of my true feelings
Actually seeing a future after considering becoming trans
Being hurt by transphobic comments at work before I realized my egg status
Was I sending what they said to my friend because i was hurt by it and wanted reassurance?
When i started drawing again, i had no desire to draw ācool badass epic shitā i just wanted to draw super cosy watercolor paintings.
God damn it iāll say it, I fucking love pastels. Both the art medium and the color spectrum
Repression of my desire to dance and sing, or I guess express myself in any format due to internalized transphobia
āMens fashion is so lame, girls have it so good. Im cis thoā
Pure depression my entire adult life
Wanting genuine friend connections with women in a more feminine way
Never caring about going out and buying clothes because none of them worked for me
Trying to force myself to not look at girls clothes because āthats only what weirdos doā
On this topic, how the fuck did i think this shit was normalā¦ i wasnt watching women or anything, its not like i was being creepy in reality. I just wanted to see the womens clothes. Why is that such a bad thing for someone to want
Being jealous of my friend since he was openly wearing his girlfriendās sweatshirt
Dude i stared longingly at a pink gamer girl chair, still cis tho
Speaking of gamers, being super jealous of C9 Sneaky that he could pass so well and was totally fine with showing that whole side of himself online. Same with Finnster.
I think i hate my voice, ever since realizing this about myself i cant help but hear my voice and think its not me
Being afraid to see a therapist because im not sure honestly
Fearing crying, but that might not be internalized transphobia and actually just be a side product of the vice grip on masculinity in society
Daydreaming about becoming a girl
General body dysmorphia
I want to cry but i cant, why cant I cry why
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HEY TUMBLR!!! I MADE A DISCORD SERVER FOR QUEER CHRISTIANS!!!
why are you doing this?
bc iām a dyke & a christian, & iām sick of trying to choose between those identities in queer & christian spaces. so iām making my own queer christian space where no one has to choose between their queer identity & their faith!
wow, who can join?Ā
this server is open to queer people who are looking for a christian space, christians who are looking for a queer space, & anyone who wants to engage in a queer christian community. i will also take a moment to state: this server is a safe space for POC & all queer identities.
who canNOT join?Ā
transmisogynists/terfsĀ
anyone bigoted towards other religions (anti-semites, islamophobes, etc)Ā
zionists/pro-israel peopleĀ
anyone who likes trumpĀ
racists
anyone pro-lifeĀ Ā
people in the above groups will NOT be tolerated in the server. they will be kicked immediately upon proving they belong in one (or more) of the above groups.Ā
what are you going to do in this server?Ā
iāve made a bunch of channels to encourage discussion across a broad range of topics! the channels areĀ
queerness
christianity
prayer requests
bible study
gratitude
visual arts
music
literature & poetryĀ
memes
pets
questions & advice
in addition, iām hoping we could have a few events in the server where we could have bible studies, share art, or just chat about the experience of being a queer christian. bc this server is so new, i'm willing to listen to any suggestions about new channels & events!
any requirements for being in the server?
you MUST be at least 16 years old or over to be in this server. in addition, there are minor & adult roles. you donāt have to state your exact age, but for everyoneās comfort, iād like to distinguish between them. other than that, itās ENCOURAGED that youāre a queer christian, but hey, if youāre just curious about the community & want to join IN GOOD FAITH, then youāre welcome <3
what's so great about this server?
this server is a beautiful space for queer christians to bond over whatever crosses our minds, from missionaries to Jesus Christ Superstar to handmade rosaries & veils. & im not just saying that bc it's my server & i made it, i'm saying that bc this server has genuinely become a bright space in my life & my new friend's lives. i hope to meet you there soon <3
hereās the link! i hope to see you there >:) <3 (pls dm me if the link isn't working! i'll fix it here & send it to you too)
i'd really appreciate it if yall could share this server, even if you don't join! there are so few queer christian communities in the world, but i'd like to add to that number. thanks team!
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introduction post!!
hihi hello!!!! so since i forgot to do an intro post earlier, im doing it now!! i want to share some things about me :3
DNI:
-basic dni criteria
-proshippers
-knifemic shippers
-ableists
-antitherian/antifurry
-taco haters
INTERACT!!:
-systems (we want to meet more people like us!!)
-osc + steven universe fans!
-furries and therians
-anything not on my DNI!!!
my dms are always open!! <3
Extra information:
-formerly known as oddtoast115
-my name is andrew, but you can call me andy if we're close
-i use any pronouns (genderfluid) but right now i prefer he/him and they/them the most!!
-i have osdd-1b,, so yeah you might not always be talking to me, but i front pretty often!
-i have goldfish like attention span please be patient with me
-please donāt be like āoh em gee lollipop from bee eff bee/taco eye eye!!!! youāre my favorite character/fictional crush!!!ā it makes me uncomfortable
-forks dni /j
-i am a minor..!!
-the (highly suspected) autism + ADHD combo goes crazy
-taco ii and lollipop bfdi fictionkin..!!
-adults CAN interact, just please don't be weird,,
-im uncomfortable with flowerpop, please try not to bring it here <3
TAGS!!
#toast post = yapping about random stuff or just,, something that isnāt a reblog idk
#tart = art i made (i gotta add this tag to all of my art iām gonna shdkddak)
#yapping bread = rant posts, random shit, etc etc
#toast's taco = my taco design!! it can be anything related to her, but itll be under this tag :]
#partybox = my oc, partybox!! they're cool enough that they have their own tag
Ao3
V
Wattpad
V
other information will be added as necessary!!! please have fun on my profile!!!! <3
STAMPS AND OTHER THINGS BELOW!!
(credits for the taco's tirade non-blinking-blinkie goes to @w33zerbluealbum !!)
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š„© Flesh thing on the internet who really likes vultures. Occasional artist
š„© fan of nature, old video games, horror, furries, and a million other things. I'm never only gonna post about one topic, i have too much love in my heart to play favorites.
š„© Not an 18+ blog but I'll reblog artistic nudity and the occasional suggestive content (tagged as #nudity or #suggestive), so be aware of that. Gore and body horror warning as well. i try to tag everything but i sometimes make mistakes. so uh. bigggg eyestrain warning
š„© I am an ecologist and have love for every animal and every possible niche to exist. If you start telling me how much you hate a group of animals or want to drive them all extinct I will block you. Consider this a warning for potential images/descriptions of parasites, bugs, spiders, etc.
š„© Feel free to talk to me at any time, i love meeting new people. mutuals feel free to friend me on my steam ^_^. my asks are always open <3
š„© Adults can ask for my alt š
š„© no strict DNI but i block extremely liberally. zionist/terfs/racists etc. get blocked on sight, i hate you. Im a commie. do with that as you will.
š„© art tag
š„© oc tag
š„© meat monster
š„© inprnt link
DONATE TO GET FREE ART, MORE INFORMATION HERE !!!!!!!!!!
now see it smile vvvvvvvvv
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Cunospig -> bnnuywabbit
Name's Lago. I'm 22.
My art tag is #feral art tag
I'm prone to note spamming mutuals! I personally love being note spammed. It's a love language. To me.
If you happened to stumble upon this blog, you Must Know that I'm obsessed with many things like my own OCs as of writing this post!
I'm Brazilian. As in from Brazil. As in Born There and Living There till my eventual demise, possibly. If you also happen to be one of those or adjacent, feel free to hit me up. Ć nois š¤
I treat my blog as an open diary sometimes. There'll be cool things about my life and things in excited abou t and things that make me upset and general life shit. I also talk a lot about my little brothers endeavors because i love him and he's my little creature. If this bothers you, i recommend not following. Also this blog contains adult stuff because im an adult, so follow at your own risk and/or pleasure! I think you should be in control of what you use your eyes to look at š
More info under readmore!! But only if you feel like it.
Other than the aforementioned, i have Many other interests that Can and WILL show up here, like:
My OCs and worldbuilding
Portal
Half life and hlvrai
Disco Elysium
Stranger Things
Homestuck
Whump stuff
FNAF
Literally whatever show and game im currently watching or playing.
I'm also VERY into music. My favorite genres are 00s pop, industrial metal, heavy metal, classic rock, folk and mpb. I love learning more about music and getting to know new music genres. Feel free to pop some in my inbox!
Random info: I use emojis abd smileys unironically. I just love to pepper my texts with some emotion here and there. I promise there's no sarcasm associated to my emojis and smileys. If i send i smiling smiley i Mean It. I also add !!!! To them if I'm particularly excited. Tone tags are confusing to me, I don't use them.
Regarding The Me: I'm queer and weird about it! My gender is completely not my business, it's up to you to gender me. Also I'm an Artist and creator at heart, so i draw a lot, i like sculpting things with clay and foam, i love doing collages, i like playing my guitar and sometimes i write fucked up things for fun because it's Fun, tho i wouldn't call myself a writer. I'm diagnosed audhd. I'm weird and not in a cutesy way sometimes, but at least I'm funny about it i think!
I'm uhhhh a med student with a background in AG/rural sciences (vetmed + fishing) which ig is kinda funny. The funniest thing about me is I'm an honest to god fishing technician. I have a fucking diploma in fishing. I have no idea how or why, it still baffles me!! I have plenty thoughts on the ag/fishing field as a whole and a bit of experience with Some Things. I've worked in a few labs and written and published a few papers and I've wanted to be a Real Scientist when i grew up since i was a kid :)
I think that's about it.
I'm a bit shy, reverb though nobody believes me when i day it! But please feel free to send an ask asking for my discord if you'd like to chat. My messages are off for nonmutuals because I'm tired of getting spambots. One thing i MUST state upfront if you'd like to talk to me and be friends: i likely have a personality disorder (avpd, extreme anxiety regarding Connecting to People) but I'm working on it! I'm trying to get better at talking about myself and my interests and socializing, so don't blame yourself if our conversations fall flat. Talking and initiating conversations with people is Hard, but I'm alright at keeping conversations going if you tell me about your likes and dislikes or if you wanna do small talk! My cheat sheet is: Talk to me about your favorite weather, your timezone, what you like learning more about, about your country and culture or your favorite types of music and your favorite bands! Tell me about yourself, please!!! I'm told i can be really cool to talk to if we get to know each other, I'm told I'm a very trusting, agreeable and judgementless individual. I like to believe that is true. To be fair, I'm eager to make new friends and learn more about people and we'll bond over something, I'm absolutely sure š„°.
I have a lot of blogs. Like a LOT. I'm not going to link them all here, but they ARE linked to my main somewhere. Probably. Have fun collecting them all or something. It's way too many.
Updated: 8.nov.24
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(sets a timer) the exorcist postcanon lore i can remember off the top of my head
well the precanon is they were teenmarried in an impulsive haha jk unless 'lets run away from our restrictive homes' moment they immediately chickened out of post-signing the license. and then immediately the various inciting incident cracks in their teenage tenuously extended-grace-bc-theyre-lonely-w/o-peers ability to cooperate that happen as they become adults (seiji dad death-now new heir of the clan-eye attack, and whatever shuuichi's doing to get away that makes him go insane and become a celebrity in three years) makes them more or less lose contact and ignore the elephant in the room until canon. though seiji (and nanase) do poke fun about it sometimes and any time natoris like fucking hell i cannot let the paparazzi find out im legally married itll be a whole Thing can you please sign the divorce papers hes like hahaha what a funny joke shuuichi-san /_^ [mails them back folded into origami]
[various natsume-fueled char development we've disturbingly stayed kind of sort of on track for in recent arcs] -> matoba reconsiders his whole life and the fact that as an adult hes in total control of it and he kind of completely hates it. he wants a less black and white relationship w youkai he's forlornly looking thru the window at natsume and all his sick ass youkai friends. he gives up his eye to eye-eater to settle the matoba debt and (at least temporarily) quits his job and leaves the community and lives a life as just some weird-ass guy whos suddenly free to have hobbies (just picking up and trying whatever) and go to therapy and physically recover.
[per my fics] nanase uses this to get her favorite matoba child back into the picture and help them reconcile as seiji passes the clan back to [matoba sister. i have not reconsidered with shinobu i cant handle it kjsf] and they uncover some of the misunderstandings that drove them apart as kids
[also per my fics. NOW DEBUNKED I GUESS] when natori hears that matoba quit his job he seethes in anger bc FUCK he was gonna do that!!!!! now he cant!!!! but its an opening for them to reconnect and similarly patch up some misunderstandings or figure out where, now changed by time, they fit together differently and less conflictingly than before. natori has also been gently prodded by natsume into therapy and lots of outdoor hobbies where he can Find Inner Peace
i really still adore the idea of. matoba gets settled in his lonesome. um he adopts a youkai-seeing kid thats varyingly important i love her to pieces i cant get into that. read my fics look at our art. but matoba's got his own thing going on hes broadening his horizons in his new life. natori's happy to dip in and out but hes got ten million lives hes busy hes all over the place. they get back together but like. only strictly Share A Life in the typical sense like. in passing. irregularly. always keep in contact but theyre not like. moving in together. for a long time at least.
natori does lose his leg in a freak accident at random one day and he DOES keep the lizard afterwards. really important to me. he grows to love this guy. disabi/_^y 4 disabiš¦y
broad strokes. funny specifics:
matoba gets into doll restoration and has lots of pickling jars w body parts all over his place. natori spends lots of time in the woods lookin' at bugs as he gets fond of the gecko and learns more about geckos and then learns more about little guys in general. hes perfectly positioned to like. anthropology out the symbiotic relationships he discovers between insects and youkai. he writes an pseudonymous guidebook about this thats nichely successful and taken as whimsical fantasy
meanwhile sasada has never given up the goat on trying to prove youkai exist even tho her whole friend group wont admit it. i forget the details but she gets into the book and gets really into bugs to see if she can reverse-engineer the youkai side of the relationship without being able to see it. at some point meets natori thru natsume in just-some-guy capacity and finds out they both like bugs and they bond over that without her knowing hes the author. comedy of errors time ^_^
#my unreadable block of text i cant remember what else i was gonna add kjshf but here heres a starting point i can add stuff to#exe#miss matoba
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do you have any tips on learning anatomy ?!1?1 im losing my mind over it šæ
Watch videos on YouTube about it or looking it up online, basic info I know. We live in the time where information is so exseable, use that to your advantage! The only place you should avoid is TikTok. Don't get me wrong there are some good creators on there but tutorials are better on YouTube and Google as I feel like they explain more. Here's some channels I recommend for not only learning anatomy but art as a whole:
Marc Brunet:
Draw like a sir:
tppo
As of tips I can bring to the table, the biggest one is don't stress over making things perfect! One of the reasons why I love the RANFREN style is how poorly drawn it is and that's what makes it look good. I know it sounds like an insult but it's not. The hands are always so effed up looking and that's my favorite part. Another example is Shin Chan. A lot of the adult's faces are always so wonky but it works and I love it.
Of course you need to learn the rules before you break them. Even the most exaggerated art use basic anatomy/fundamentals. But you don't always have to play by them. Art is subjective, you can draw a piece that has perfect anatomy and fundamentals and people may still not like it. Draw whatever looks good to you and makes you happy!
(This may differ though as if you want to get into a job where you have to draw in a sertant way/sertant thing the whole "I don't care what people think" isn't going to work. I personally do art as a hobby and never plan on doing it to appeal to others so I can bank off of it. If one day I can do that, cool. If not, also cool. That's how I see it! When it comes to trying to make art profitable a lot of creativity can be lost as most places don't want to take a risk of doing something that can effect them and the money. Little tangent, oops. But yeah, keep in mind that what I just typed out is coming more from a hobbyist stand point rather a professional one!)
Another thing is if there's something you don't like about your piece, then fix it. I use to say whatever when there was something I didn't necessarily like about my art because I didn't want to redo hours of work or mess up something, but trust me redoing it and getting it somewhere you like is so much better. Once again, the internet has lots of information to help so don't be shy to look up on how you can make something look to your liking. Criticism can also help with this. Always be open to constructive criticism when you're wanting to get better! Doesn't mean you have to apply said criticism to your art but it's still something you 100% should be open to.
Also with practicing try and do 30 minutes at a time and taking 15 minutes breaks in between. You're brain tends to absorb more information then studying for an hour straight. And don't push yourself to study every moment of your life. You should have a good balance of studying and free drawing. And please take breaks too. Burn out is not fun, it can take a long time to overcome it. (Coming from someone who experienced burn out for over a whole year.)
You also may not learn at it right away. Take your time and go easy on yourself! Don't compare your art to others as you have no clue how many hours they spent into practicing, and I assure you most artist have drawn stuff that looks horrible compared to what they post online. People will only post stuff they think looks good for the world to see. Your practice sketches aren't the best but it's one of the steps that's going to help you get where you want to be! <(ļ¼¾āļ¼¾)_/ĀÆ
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Not Me Episode 6 Music
so i'm probably not going to get totally caught up today because i'm starting to get tired and i still have my real job to do, but i'll do about 2 of these a day until i get caught up again.
when White and Sean are arguing about boundaries we see another appearance from Safeguard by Charles Holme - this could be a nod to White wanting to safeguard his friends.
Only Love Is Real - Todd Kessler
as White enters their room to find Sean sprawled on the bed this song kicks in. i'd post the lyrics but i don't know if they really have much relevance here (but it is a beautiful song)
Break Me (Kevin Faltin Remix) - Wholm, Michael Shynes, Kevin Faltin
OUGHGHGHGH. so like, for my taste in music this isn't my fave BUT the song is so good for the mood. this comes in after their big talk, Sean's in his cups and White starts getting ready for bed.
One more wine and one more whiskey We just kept the car in park And dimmed the headlights so we see the stars Let em tell us where we should start And I'm scared as hell Because there's no way to know how this goes But I can't help but say I promise to give you my all But it might break me (Break Me)
i really think this is where the boys start having some serious feelings for one another - whether they recognize they're romantic or otherwise i can't really say, and i think this is where they're beginning to trust and lean on each other a little more. the lyrics of this song are just chef's kiss. neither of them knows how this is going to go, how it might hurt them, and they're both just scared young adults trying their best.
Live Long and Prosper - Bonn Fields
as Sean argues with the police in his memories this plays. it's a haunting tune that really captures so much of what this scene is.
This is My Love - Daniel Pratt
oh holy shit. i had always wondered where this song plays and now that i know i am changed. i can never not know. oh it hurts, it's so good, it's so brilliant.
this song plays as Sean gives White the candy to replace the taste of the bitterant. we don't hear any of the lyrics but Sean's actions really replace the lyrics in their own way. (i'm having shrimp emotions @timetoboldlygo !!!) {i do think this might be a religious song btw, but we can ignore that part of the song bc i said so}
Tender and kind, built over time This is my love for you Steady and pure, patient and sure This is my love for you
BECAUSE THAT'S HOW SEAN SHOWS LOVE!! HE CARES AND HE'S KIND AND TENDER AND -- OH I'M NOT OKAY, SEAN IS SHOWING HIS LOVE
when Sean and White are arguing and Sean asks White to give him some encouragement we get another appearance from Flares by Life in Colour
Dylan Thomas/Bitter Bitter - The Duke of Norfolk
i'm coming UNGLUED IN THE SERVER. this song plays as Gram confesses to Yok that he has felt love. "You're always with Black. You don't have time for anyone else."
Heavy the rain doth pour and heavy the tongue. The light does miss the forested face. Bitter, bitter the pendulum swung Bitter, bitter the pendulum swung Open the sky for me and cut out the heart the fruit does spoil the childrenās laughter Bitter, bitter the blackest of arts āGood men, the last wave by, crying how brightā the sun does try despite the shadow Bitter, bitter āthe dying of the lightā Bitter, bitter the dagger in the fight
oh i'm peeling apart at my seams. like, yes, sure, this could apply to Gram's feelings for Eugene but for it to be playing when Yok mentions Black???
the sun does try despite the shadow Bitter, bitter āthe dying of the lightā
is.. is Gram the sun? he tries despite the fact that the shadow (Black) never looks at him? he's bitter because the light, his feelings, are dying in his chest? hmm?? MAYHAPS? (im probably just seeing what i want to see but FUCK YOU FOR MAKING THIS SONG PLAY its one of my favorites)
Chaos at the Spaceship - Out of Flux
the perfect song title for the iconic scene of Yok brandishing the flares. that moment is really just one of the moments of all time in this show, an absolute favorite, and absolutely pure chaos.
I'll Understand - Roza
one of the best choices lyric wise in this entire show, in my opinion. as Sean is choking White and walks away from him (in the next episode) this song plays with it's apt lyrics.
The end of the world at the palm of my hand When it all goes to hell, will you still be my friend? My face to the sea and my back to the land If you canāt come with me Iāll understand
the pain is unending and forever. i don't think i need to even say anything about how these lyrics tie in with the scene, it's pretty clear. OUCH.
alright thats all i have in me for tonight but i love you and im smooching you all
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