#so im hoping by spring i will be able to get back to doing more hobbies and being a person outside of work again

[internetgremlin-writes]

it's been 2 months since u gone now... I used to remember ur voice and how u made me happy 💔 R.I.P internetgremlin-writes we all going to miss you

BESTIE IM NOT DEAD I JUST WORK 40+ HOURS A WEEK NOW 😭

And I went on holiday because this bitch hasn't left her country in 7 years and it was LONG overdue

I wanna write but I'm currently half asleep by the time I finish work + have a lot of additional reading and stuff to do to make sure I stay on top of things + complete my mandatory first year portfolio thingy + trying to move out of my parents house and in with a BOY + making time to spend time with said boy + trying to read books and go outside and do vaguely human with hobby things as well

I'm sorry I don't mean to keep scaring you guys by vanishing and my drafts are so full of chapters and ideas and it's breaking my heart seeing them sitting there gathering because I'm just too tired atm

[mostly-imagines]

At Least I’m Not Alone at the Wake

jason todd x fem!reader

aka how jason feels safe even when he feels like he’s dying

HEY today we’re going to play a game where we practice reblogging fics: if you read this and like it—reblog!! ie, if you like and dont reblog i might block bc im getting sick of the lack of decorum

warnings: angst w comfort throughout

It took less than thirty seconds for the silence of the night to drift into sounds of shrieks echoing off the buildings along the street. The sharp contrast had you and Jason bolting upright on the couch, ears on alert. It only took a few seconds more of listening for you to realize you’re not hearing shouting—it’s laughter. Maniacal, uncontrolled laughter. 

There’s a beat as you both freeze upon the implication, the unsettling realization dropping in on you. You barely have a moment to process it before Jason’s pushing up from the couch and heading towards the bathroom.

“Close the window,” he grumbles.

You blink as you register his words before jumping up to do as told, quickly sliding the frame shut and locking it. He returns soon with an armful of towels in hand, and you stand back as he stuffs a couple along the window sill with rough movements. He goes throughout the apartment, doing the same to the other windows. He rounds back to the living room window, looking down at the street with a heavy look on his face. 

You trust that the towels will do their job in preventing the laughing gas from getting in the apartment, but they’re unable to block out the bellows of hysteria.

He backs away from the window, letting the living room wall hold his weight. You both listen to the harrowing echoes with still bodies. 

You watch him, waiting for a reaction. You don’t mean to, but you know you’re looking at him like he’s a loaded spring. You try not to, you know how much he hates how his family does that to him, but fuck, it’s hard not to worry about him.

When Joker incidents have come up, they’ve usually been something you’re able to ignore or even get ahead of and drive out of the city. But this is raucous and chaotic, clearly enough to shut down the city from the inside. Besides, Jason would be booking it out of here if he thought there was any chance of a clean getaway in this.

But you know he’s got no interest in inserting himself in anything Joker related, especially something so destabilizing.

While you know Jason’s family cares about him, of course they do, but you’ve noticed they sometimes put Gotham’s needs first and his second. So the severity of this attack is concerning for you for two reasons.

“Will they…” you shuffle, “Will they need you?”

He’s quick to answer, voice firm. “No.” A long moment passes before he adds on, quieter, “They won’t want me out there.”

You nod to yourself, trying to relax your body. You being on edge isn’t going to help him.

You watch as his head thumps against the wall, eyes squeezed shut. He’s tough—you know he’s tough. He can withstand a hell of a lot more than you’ll probably ever even know. But even for Gotham, this is a lot. And even for someone who hasn’t been through what Jason has, the ringing repetitions of laughter are maddening. You wonder if this is what the Joker hears in his head. You wonder if this is what Jason heard.

The intensity of the laughing increases, more people likely becoming exposed to the gas. You think you can hear it in one of your neighbor’s apartments too.

He thumps his head against the drywall again, hands clenching at his sides. It takes one more forceful thud for you to move over to him, cradling your hand to the side of his head, holding him still. He lets you, though he still doesn’t open his eyes.

“Jay,” you say softly, stroking his hair. “Let’s take a shower, yeah?” Normally you’d try for a bath to calm him instead but you hope the waterfall from the shower might be enough to drown out the noise.

He takes a second to respond, letting your hand bear the weight of his head. “Yeah.”

His voice is splintered though, and his shoulders droop as he stands up fully. He waits to move until you start to lead him, flinching at every spike of laughter. You reach back and take his hand, giving it two squeezes. He squeezes your hand back but doesn’t loosen his grip.

As you enter the bathroom he wastes no time getting straight to the shower nozzle and turning it on. You press the door shut behind you, sealing out a decent portion of the chaos. You decide against turning the overhead light on, opting instead to let the small pink-shaded lamp provide a warm glow that you can easily maneuver throughout the shadows in. You figure he needs a more tranquil atmosphere than the harsh white light the bathroom ceiling can provide.

You turn to him in time to catch him pulling his shirt up harshly, movements jerked and impatient.

You place a gentle hand on his forearm, “Hey.”

He pauses his actions, eyes on the floor.

You don’t say anything else, but he understands your objection regardless. You remove your touch and he peels his shirt off slower, kinder to himself. 

You wait to make sure he continues this method with the rest of his clothes before you start to remove yours.

The downpour of water on the tiles does it’s intended job in creating your own little sanctum away from the noise. You climb into the shower after him, standing in the stray mist sprays that made their way past him. The bits of water that do manage their way to you are hot—not scalding, but hot enough that you know his chest is going to start getting numb very soon standing in front of the stream like this. 

You trace lines over the muscles of his back, outlining them and every little indent of a scar. When you run out of canvas on his back you move onto his arms, right then left.

It’s not until you trace down his wrist that you realize his head is angled down. You don’t need to be standing in front of him to know that his focus is zeroed in on his scar and you’re not sure how long it's been that way. Too long, in any case.

“Jay,” you say so softly that the water nearly drowns you out. “Will you look at me, please?”

He does turn to you, slowly, but he doesn’t look up.

You hold his face in your hands, nudging him to look up at you. He looks tired, drained. 

You know he has to hear that laughter in a different way than you do. It’s uncomfortable and frightening for you, but for him, it’s layers upon layers of the sound he heard while he was being beaten to death. And even beyond that horrible trauma, the reminder of it brings forth every memory of what happened afterwards, not to mention the heavy baggage you know he feels over being here at all. And you can see it all mulling behind his eyes.

“You know I love you,” you tell him with sincerity. His gaze stays heavy and you can tell it’s a struggle for him to hold the eye contact.

You lean up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, catching his bottom lip slightly. Your next kiss meets his lips fully. You have to push up on your toes a little bit but he does the work of meeting you halfway. It’s a slow, intimate exchange, as fluid and serene as breathing.

“I love all of you,” you murmur against his lips. You let your hands fall to his chest, resting as gently as they can over his pecs. “Everything about you.”

You kiss the top of his Y scar, trailing down soft pecks to where it forks off. You feel his shoulders sag a bit, tension forcing its way out of him. You lean down to continue your kisses down the vertical line marking his abdomen, your hands lightly following in your wake.

He says your name painfully, like he’s begging you to stop. You’ll give him partial reprieve, taking his hands in yours and kissing his scarred knuckles. It’s his instinct to push affection away, you know that, but you also know that he needs it. That’s why he doesn’t stop you now—he knows he needs it—it’s just a lot for him all at once, emotionally. Which is why he gives no warning before he picks you up by your thighs and pulls you close. 

He’s got you a full head higher than him and he uses the difference to hide his face in your neck. Sometimes he feels like that’s the only place he can go. He maneuvers you around so your back is pressed up against the wall as you hold each other tight.

You stay in there like that until the water runs cold, and then some. You have to nudge him a bit into setting you back down then, but he does, letting you collect and wrap the both of you in towels. The second the water turns off you can hear the cackling through the walls. 

As you return to the bedroom, he only bothers to pull on a pair of boxers before collapsing his weight onto the mattress. The lack of layers won’t help him any, but you know why he did it.

He can’t always look after himself the way he should—he disregards his own needs and has trouble even thinking of what could help him. You’ve developed a mind for it though—for him—and you know that being exposed and vulnerable like this isn’t going to help him calm down. He prefers being covered up when he’s stressed, it gives him more security, you think.

You open up the dresser and dig through for his most comfortable hoodie and sweatpants. He takes them from you, but he looks remiss at the thought of exerting anymore energy right now, so you help him tug on the clothes, successfully blocking out the now icy air from the AC. 

Once he’s fully clothed he pulls you forward to sit on his lap. You stumble a bit on the way but he compensates by holding you very tight, not giving your body any option to fall. His grip on you tells you that he’s not concerned with you getting dressed too, which you’re perfectly willing to oblige.

You have to force him to let you break away a little bit so you can reach over to the nightstand and grab your phone and earbuds.

“Movie or music?”

He doesn’t say anything, only nods his head once at the end of your sentence. You take that to mean music and open up your playlist on your phone, handing him the headphones.

There’s a harsh spike in the hysterics outside, mixed with what sounds like screams, and it has Jason flinching hard. You think you can see tears welled in his eyes as he fumbles to get the headphones in his ears. He takes the phone from you and picks the first song he sees and turns the volume up, up, up.

You shift yourself around so that you’re laying back against the pillows, giving him room to lay down over your legs, wrapping his arms around your waist with a firm grip. You pull the hood up over his head, but keep your hands woven underneath, threading through his hair. 

His cheek mushes against your bare stomach, and with the way he’s laying, you’re sure the earbuds are digging uncomfortably into his ear. He makes no effort to move in any case. You can hear the song playing word for word, and while the noise exposure concerns you, if there was ever a time to let it go, it would be now.

You’re both wrapped up nicely in the blankets and you can only see the tip of his nose and a few strands of ivory hair strewn past his forehead. Despite all the snug layers, he shakes a bit under your touch.

He falls asleep before the problem outside gets wrapped up, and you turn down the music. Not all the way, just enough that he can rest in peace. 

After a while the giggles die down and aside from a few first responder sirens, things get quiet again. About twenty minutes later, Nightwing ducks in through your window and scares the hell out of you. The interaction does not, however, wake Jason up, which is how you know tonight took a very heavy toll on him.

Even though the lights aren’t on in your bedroom you slide down from the pillows a bit more and let the blanket and Jason drown your chest out from visibility.

Nightwing gives you a silent, if not awkward, wave and scans over Jason. Even in the dark can see the worry in his eyes. He looks back up at you and throws up a questioning thumbs up with a tilt of his head.

You nod and he nods back slowly as he takes one more look at his brother before hopping out the window.

You peer down at Jason and brush his curls back gently. His hold on you tightens just a bit as he turns in his sleep.

reblog or get out seriously

[serqphites]

been sick for so long and all i need is abby to take care of me like the good girlfriend that she is !!! also look at her lil smile im acc deceased nobody speak to me ever again

16+, modern!au, sfw, throwing up (r!), this is short and ass

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do not even THINK about lying to this girl about your sickness… she will not buy a single second of it.

"abby i promise you i'm-" sneeze, "fine..." is there even any point trying to defend your case any longer when abby is looking at you like an unimpressed, disappointed mother with her hands on her hips?

she's already called issac to tell him that she isn't going to be in work until you're better. he tried to refuse and order her to come in, but abby didn't back down and stood her ground until he eventually backed off because nobody is more important than her girl!!

she quite literally cannot leave you alone, always rushing whenever she has to leave your side just in case you need her (she definitely trips and eats shit on the stairs because she was trying to get back to your room a lil too fast)

laying on her chest!!! her big arms wrapped around you and holding you close, kisses being peppered atop your head whenever she enters a cutscene in whatever game she's playing because you begged her to let you watch her play. it took a little convincing because abby just wants you to sleep and get the rest you need, but the second you flashed her those sad puppy dog eyes she was handing you the controller to let you pick out a game for her to play.

this girl always has tissues on her, stuffing her pockets full of them so she's ready for whenever you need them

i can just picture you making those funny noises people do before sneezing and abby practically TELEPORTING to you and shoving a scrunched up tissue in your face. she would be so proud of herself too and just look at you like "did i help? :D" yes you did sweetie you did such a good job!!!

you can’t convince that this girl doesn’t make the best grilled cheese and homemade tomato soup known to mankind, it’s always her go to when you’re sick (not that you’re complaining because it’s INCREDIBLE)

not being able to sleep because you can’t breathe and you’re just in so much pain, so abby lays awake with you until you eventually fall asleep :( unless she knows you’re okay and asleep she physically cannot fall asleep, her mind won’t let her.

abby for sure keeps a bucket on her side of the bed for in the middle of the night (she doesn’t want you trying to reach for it and accidentally falling and hurting yourself)

abby is jolted awake almost immediately once you yourself wake up with a startle, shooting up into a sitting position as your hands fly to your mouth. she’s springing into action without even realising it, reaching down as quickly as possible to snatch the bucket and place it into your lap. “in the bucket baby, good girl there you go” she mumbles in that raspy sleep voice, one of her hands keeping a hold of the bucket in case you can’t while her free hand moves up to hold back your hair.

abby running you a bath with all of your favourite essentials lined up ready for you (need that). oh and she is 1000000% washing your hair and body for you, she can’t have her baby tiring herself out now can she?

even when you start to feel better she’s still just as attentive, you assure her that she can stop and just take a break but abby just continues whatever she was doing like she literally can’t hear you LMAO

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a/n: i’m genuinely so sorry this is so bad 😭 im still sick and barely had the energy to write this but i just wanted to post something SO bad. hope you’re all having a good day/night !! <3

[luvrxbunny]

crybaby

Pairing: Eddie Munson x F!Reader 

Prompt: Dacryphilia(?)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, insecure thoughts/relationship doubts, piv, unprotected sex  (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 3.1k

A/N: *gasp* im on time?! i hope this counts- reader is crying but it's not a turn-on or anything, it's kinda just something that's happening

Eddie’s band had been on tour for a month now, all his classes were online and he’d Facetime you so you could ensure he’s doing his work but you still miss him. He’s supposed to come home in a week and you don’t know what you’re going to do. You’ve been stressed out of your mind without his calming presence, you’ve told him about some of your stresses and he’s helped but you’re starting to feel like you’re just putting a dampener on his tour so you stopped. 

You miss him so much it’s heartbreaking. You knew it would be hard, after being with Eddie for two years now you guys have never spent more than a week apart. You thought though, that after being with him for so long you’d be fine, you’d saved up enough ‘Eddie Time’ to get through the month. You couldn’t have been more wrong. 

He was nice enough to let you stay in his room for the month, and you never noticed how big his bed was. You actually used to complain that it isn’t big enough for the both of you but now the only thing you can think is how big it is. If this bed was really made for one person then why is it so big? 

Your math homework is scattered on the floor, thrown off the bed in a fit of frustration. You miss him. It’s not that he could’ve done the math for you or anything but he’d make you feel better at least, help you google it and try to figure it out, maybe make you feel like less of a dumbass. But he’s not here. You sigh into his pillow before inhaling his faint scent, tears almost springing to your eyes. 

You try not to tell him too much about how deeply your yearning for him goes. You don’t want him to feel bad for leaving, you couldn't be more proud of him for booking this little tour and you’d never want him to stay back for you… but it wouldn’t hurt if he could make a little more time. These past few weeks you’ve barely been able to keep him on the phone, only being available for a few minutes before having to run into a meeting, a practice session, or a vocal lesson. Apparently, he tried to cram all of his meetings and such into this week so that he could spend his last few tour nights getting shitfaced. 

He had told you the plan in a rushed and staticky call while he was in an elevator, that was the only free time he had for you, his girlfriend. An elevator ride.

So now you’re in his favorite pair of panties and one of his shirts in case he wants to video call. He gave you piles of silly promises of video-chat sex, you laughed at them when he made them but started craving them after the first two days. He called you on the Wednesday of his first week gone with plans for ‘sex’ but ended up a bit too tired. That was the only time he called… You’re still hopeful though. 

You try your best to hold back your tears as you press your face into his pillow. You jump when you hear the front door unlock but when you check the time you realize it’s just Wayne. He doesn’t mind you being here, you make your own dinner and buy groceries sometimes, other than that you guys don’t really interact so you stay where you are, sniffling into Eddie’s pillow. Unfortunately, you miscalculated how loud you were because suddenly Eddie’s room door opened and your body froze. You’re waiting for him to make some awkward attempt at a soothing, comforting conversation, muscles tense with the promise of embarrassment. 

“Man, I don’t even get a ‘hi’?” Eddie.

Your head whips up from the pillow and your heart breaks at the way his smile drops along with his bags as he rushes to your side of the bed. “What’s wrong? Did Wayne say some-” You’re sitting up and crashing your lips into his with a sob, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling his body to press against yours. You’re still getting up, wanting to be as close to him as you can and now kneeling on the bed, almost his height as he’s standing. You’re gripping the sides of his face, whimpering into his mouth as he coos into yours and his hands are around your waist, pulling your body into his.

You only pull away once you begin to feel light-headed from the lack of oxygen and even then you’re still pressing kisses all over his giggling face. He has to wrestle you into a hug to get you to stop, laughing into your ear with his chest bouncing against yours. “So you missed me?” He says with a cocky tone, but when he pulls away to smile at you there’s a genuine vulnerability in them that you’re in love with. 

You kiss him again, a little peck before smiling against his lips. “I missed you so much, Eddie.” Your voice cracks with emotion and his arms tense around you for a moment before lifting to cup your cheek and pulling you in for a slow, romantic kiss. His tongue slides over your lips before slipping into your mouth and relearning your taste. You can already feel yourself melting for him, all your bones turning to jelly and dampening your panties. You’re pulling him down already, trying to get him in bed and he’s laughing. 

“Slow down, baby! I-” You kiss him again, a silent beg for him to just get in bed with you. You bring your hands into his hair and whimper against him as your hips twitch in the air just from his taste. You slide your tongue into his mouth this time, earning a shocked moan from the back of his throat as your tongue slides against his, admiring its softness and the moans the action elicits from him. His hands leave your body as he fumbles with his belt. He’s nodding subtly and subconsciously against you as he gives in to his needs. 

You can hear him growing more unrestrained as he takes his pants off, his breaths quickly speed up and become heavier. His movements get a bit fumbled and frantic as he tries to kiss you and get his long legs out of his skinny jeans. He ends up crashing on you, tripping over his pants, and landing half on you half on the bed. He’s giggling intermittently, still trying to drown his lips in yours. You’re grinning wildly at his desperation, happy that he needed you as badly as you needed him.

“Calm down, sweetheart.” You chuckle half-heartedly against his neck once he gets his leather jacket off. He’s left in his wife beater, boxers, and chains, climbing over you, hands roaming every part of your body. He has this animalistic look in his eyes, one you’re sure matches the look on your face. You wrap your arms around his waist, running your hands lightly up his back and smiling at the way he shudders as his eyelids flutter. His hand comes up to rest beside your head as he lowers his crotch to yours, holding eye contact and groaning once his pulsing cock comes in contact with your hot core. 

He leans back and reaches down for the hem of the t-shirt- his t-shirt that you’re wearing and pulls it up. He has to apologize for the way his hips jerk against yours, thrusting him against your covered pussy like he was actually fucking you, but he couldn’t help it, not when you’re wearing these panties. He leans back down and presses his forehead against yours to let a ragged groan out against your face. Your hips twitch into his slowly building pace at the sound.

“How-” He cuts himself off with a groan and buries his face in your neck, muttering praises and kissing the skin there before coming back up. “How can you tell me to- to calm down when you know-” One hand comes down to the band of your panties, reaching between your thighs to pull the elastic there and snap it against your sensitive skin. “You know you’re wearing these… hm? Explain that, sweetheart.” He says the last tone with a drop of venom, teasing the nickname you used for him earlier while purposely grinding his tip into your clit so he can watch you stumble over your answer. 

He chuckles and pulls away once he’s had enough of your silent, trembling lips, trying desperately to form words for him. He pulls his boxers down to his thighs and takes one leg out before pulling on the elastic of your panties again. “Are you just gonna watch or do you wanna get undressed too, my love?”

He says it with a smirk but there’s something about it that’s more loving than teasing as it has a new heat blooming over the one that’s already resting in your stomach. You’d been just staring at him, admiring him as he undressed and you’re sneaking peeks at him even now, as you take your panties off. He smiles at your struggle to take them off, wiggling on your back to shimmy them around your thighs and he’s climbing back over you the second you have them off. 

“Been needing you so long, baby.” His statement sounds so genuine as he strokes his cock against your entrance, the tip nudging into your messy hole on every other stroke. It’s a tease but Eddie doesn’t even mean for it to be, he’s just mesmerized by the way his cock is just crying into you, pouring everything he has into your perfect little hole. He groans and has to shut his eyes, a bit worried at how the thought makes his cock throb. He looks up at you for assurance once more and his face crumbles at the way you’re already staring at him. You’re giving him the big pretty eyes, the sweetest face you have, begging him to put it in, to fill your every crevice with his thick cock and he gives it to you before you can even blink. 

He thrusts his hips forward, plowing his way through your tight ring of muscle, groaning at the way you squeeze his cock and the way your hands are gripping his shoulders, looking for purchase from the pleasure he’s assaulting you with. You try to stay calm, you keep your limbs from shaking, your eyes from rolling back and you’re trying to keep your face neutral but his cock twitches inside you once, and your entire resolve breaks. A shiver runs up your spine as you curl in on yourself and groan his name while pulling him down to lean into his neck. You can’t see the way his eyes roll back at your breath on his neck but you can feel the way he’s already shaking against you. His arms give out, dropping him to press flush against you with a grunt. He apologizes mindlessly, his hips never stopping their steady pace. 

You are surrounded by him, floating away yet grounded by him. You love him so much and he’s been gone for so long. You’re overcome with joy at finally having your boy back in your arms, moaning sweetly into your ear, his adorable little body shaking against you as he fucks his desperate cock into you. He didn’t even know you were missing him so much but he came home early anyway, ready and wanting for you. You feel embarrassment nip at your belly as tears spring to your eyes. You try to bury your face in his shoulder and ignore it, let him keep fucking you as much as he needs. 

You don’t want him to stop and if he sees you’re crying that’s exactly what he’ll do. You’ve never felt so consumed, so wrapped and completely enveloped in love before. You only started to even understand what love was when Eddie started loving on you. You’re so grateful for him and everything he is and his dick is sliding into you so perfectly. He’s bullying your G-Spot every time he thrusts in, his fat tip hitting your most sensitive spot and turning your brain to mush with every movement. 

Your tear slides down your face when he moans your name into your ear like a prayer, like you’re the best thing he ever has or will have. It falls onto his shoulder and rolls off his arm, he slows for a moment, his moans turning into muted pants as he listens and observes. His hips slow even more when he takes in your shaking hands and trembling shoulders. He tries to pull your head from his neck, his pace more of a lazy thrust now but you refuse and that’s what makes him stop completely. “Baby?”

His voice is shaking and scared, his hand is trembling on the back of your head, softly cradling it. You whine into his neck and lift your hips, sinking his cock back into your hole with a hushed moan as Eddie clamps his eyes shut, bites into his lip, and presses his hands on your hips, forcing them back down to the bed. “Can’t fuck you if you’re crying, my love. What’s-” You cut him off with a shaky whimper at his term of endearment and try to explain yourself. 

“Still wan’ it.” You whine to him like that’s the most obvious thing in the world. His hips twitch against you before his cock slowly slides out and back in again. “Yeah?” He questions before speeding up a bit, still keeping a tame, relaxing pace. Your muscles un-tense and your head falls back, exposing your neck to Eddie who happily dives in. “Yeah..” You sigh out as he starts pressing air-light kisses to your sensitive skin. 

“Jus’ missed you so much, Ed.” He whimpers into your neck at the confession and his hips speed up just a fraction. “Needed you all the time but-” You whimper as he bites your skin gently, choosing to use a bit more force on some parts. “But you were so busy- an’-” You moan and dig your fingers in his hair as you feel the coil in your stomach begin to draw in, slowly tightening from Eddie’s thrust and your outpour of emotion and love. “An’ now you’re here and you’re so perfect and so good, Eddie.” Your eyes roll back as you lock your legs behind Eddie’s waist forcing him to keep his cock pressed into you fully, making you feel so full. His thighs are jumping at your words- so innocent but somehow have more effect on him than any dirty talk he’s heard before. 

He pulls his head out of your neck, little droplets of water littering his long lashes. “Missed you too, doll.” His words are a rough whimper against your lips before he dives in, his hips now moving at a new speed, reinvigorated by your love. He’s kissing you messy, basically just pressing his lips against yours and fucking you, your tongues are everywhere, trying to taste everything and making a mess of both of your faces, all while his hips fuck into you with mind-blowing precision, sending tsunamis of pleasure through your bones on every thrust. 

The coil in your stomach tightens even further, reaching the point of no return as your legs tighten around him again. You try to calm down, to keep your pussy from fluttering around Eddie but his knowing chuckle in your ear breaks your resolve, and your pussy spasms around him. “Yeah. Felt like you were trying something.” He reangles himself and adjusts his thrusts, changing them to a slow, hard grind so he stimulates your clit, bringing you to the edge closer than you expected. 

Your hands fly to his shoulders, your nails grip him and he groans against you, his eyes rolling back with a gut-wrenching smirk on his face. “Mmm- Mark me up, sweetheart. I-” He breathes out a desperate breath of air, inhaling you instead with a strained whine before dropping into your neck again. His hips grow a bit frantic and his whines turn to rabid grunts as he fucks into you with everything he has, trying to hold off his orgasm as you moan and twitch around his overly sensitive cock. 

“Cum all over me, baby.” It’s a request and Eddie was ready to beg but you let go at his first utterance. You explode all over him, he has to reach up lightning fast to slap his hand over your mouth as your eyes cross and you moan, completely debauched into his hand. He grunts out against his hand, biting his lip to try and hold his sounds in as you soak his dick, squeezing him erratically as you cum. He tries to hold back, let you finish basking in your orgasm before pouring his seed into you but your muffled sounds are too much. He whines out curses and moans of your name against the back of his hand as you moan for him into the other side. 

His hips slam into yours one last time to push himself as deep as he can go before his cock explodes. He doesn’t know how he had so much cum inside him but he’s sure it’s going to overflow. He can’t even think as his orgasm tears through him, he can hear you encouraging him distantly and it forces another load to rack through his body. His balls are painfully tight as he tries to give you everything he has, completely empty his balls into you. It’s all for you anyway. He lets you know too, it’s the only thing he’s able to mutter to you as he cums. “S’all f’you, baby. All for you.”

He whimpers against you with a few more tremors shooting through his body before wrapping his arms around your waist and rolling onto his back with a sigh. You giggle softly and try to climb off of him but you get a groan of protest. “Eddie, m’heavy, baby.” You smile as you speak, letting your fingers run over his wet, pink lips. He snorts in response. “Liar.” He readjusts his position, sinking into the bed some more, wrapping his arms tighter, and falling asleep. You pretend to be upset that you’re left with no option but to cuddle with him until you fall asleep in his arms. 

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it, here's the rest of my Kinktober Works, and be sure to check out my Main Masterlist!!

[divinevault]

I have returned!

…I have returned sick

may hermes take care of me while im not feeling well?

-🩵🪽

I do hope the illness passes quickly for you, my dear! <3

And I hope this helps

Sickness…

Featuring: Hermes x Reader

Summary: Your partner is doing his very best but he’s also slightly terrified

CW’s: You’re sick, if that counts? Also a bit of panic and talk around death <3

Reader is: Gender Neutral

Words: 589

Type: Scenario

You really didn’t like getting sick, so waking up to a sore, scratchy throat and a blocked nose felt like hell to you. You weren’t utterly incapacitated, but you were definitely a little feverish and had a hell of a headache. So you’d gotten up to grab yourself some water, as you did, wondering idly whether Hermes would be home— it was one of the days he’d spend almost the entire day with you, after all.

You didn’t have to wait long.

He swooped into existence like air coming to life, a mischievous grin on his face that quickly shifted into a more concerned one. Hermes’ ears flicked out and downwards- a clear sign of his worry for you.

“Hey— darling, you feeling alright?” His voice is softer than it usually is when he asks, tilting your head towards him. You lean into the contact reflexively, blinking up at him before abruptly shifting your body to cough into your arm. 

… the look Hermes gives you afterwards isn’t what you would have expected. It’s almost teetering on the edge of terror— which he promptly hides from view, taking you into his arms, “so you’re sick, huh?”

“Yeah,” You murmured in response, leaning into the coolness of his body, “you looked scared. What’s up, hun?”

“Me? Scared?” Your frown deepens as your partner theatrically scoffs, “never. I do think we need to get you some medicine for that, though, considering you wouldn’t be able to handle ambrosia…”

“It’s just a cold,” You find yourself protesting, brows furrowing, “it’ll go away soon.”

“And quicker if you have medication.”

“Hermes.”

He looks back at you from where he’d shifted to wander out the door, eyes clearly (almost unnaturally) visible beneath the dark shadow his hat cast, “... yeah?”

“I want cuddles.”

And for the first time you’ve ever seen it, Hermes looks torn. And it takes a few seconds for your brain to piece together what he’s so very concerned about— which promptly leaves you smiling in exasperation at him.

“Hermes— hun, love, dear, the spring in my step— I’m not going to die.”

“... I know.” He slowly responds, rocking back and forth on his feet, “I’m— darling, I know. I just— It feels… mortals are so… fragile.”

“... You’re not going to lose me to a cold, Hermes, I promise.”

He squints at you, reaching out to pull you into a hug as he huffs, “alright. I understand. I’ve got one more message to give out and then I’ll be right back, m’kay, darling?”

And before you can protest, he’s poofed.

… You’re not surprised when he comes back in a couple of minutes with a massive variety of things he’s probably stolen from the chemist to treat your sickness.

He’s adorably caring throughout the entire time you are sick— constantly around, even when his errands try to tug him away. More often than not, he’s cuddled up to you like a cat— as if he really is afraid you’re going to die suddenly from a stuffy nose and a slightly abnormally high temperature.

He’s cute, though. And it’s times like these where you really see the devotion he has for you shine.

Suffice to say, you’re also not getting out of bed.

You also think he’s so internally scared of your sickness because of Apollo’s tales, and also the fact that he’s likely seen millions fall to plagues his older brother has started.

You do well enough to soothe his fears by distracting him with appreciative pecks all over his face, though.

[cloudyskydreams]

Hello, could you do a one shot of Sans looking Reader's photo album when she was little?

This is so cute 🥺 you absolutely can, Thanks so much for requesting sorry it took me a bit to get to it! I had a lot of fun with this one even though it was a struggle to find motivation! I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did!

You had convinced Sans to do a bit of spring cleaning, it was mostly you doing a majority of the work and him being your emotional support but he did help a a little bit.

While cleaning out your closet you had come upon a box of your old things and of course got distracted going through it. You were having a good time going through all of your little keepsakes from over the years and the stories that went along with them until you struck gold at the very bottom of the box. An old photo album you had been gifted a few years ago filled to the brim with photos of you as a tiny tot and a camera full of home videos. You squeal in excitement as you head over to the bed.

"Sans, look at this!" He looks at what you have in your hands and his grin grows.

"im booking babe, what is it?"

You throw open the cover and the first page is filled with baby photos, there's one of you in a cute little inside and one with you and your favorite stuffed animal. "A photo album!" You cheer and sit next to him setting the book in between you.

Sans looks down intrigued by the photos in front of him and his eyelights expand slightly upon taking on the sight of baby you.

"so small..." He says softly as he looks over the photos. You flip the page and there's a few of you as a baby dressed up in different outfits and mostly with family.

The first photo in the page is of you still in the hospital "This is right after I was born!" You say happily showing him and his eyelights almost fill his sockets as he stares at the photo.

"are all human children that small when first born?" he asks and you're surprised he didn't pun then again he sounds genuinely curious.

"Yup we're all pretty small, and weak too can't even lift our heads up at first gotta be gentle with babies." You giggle.

"makes sense thanks for the heads up babe." His grin widens and you groan playfully before returning your attention to the photo album in front of you.

"Oh! This one's from when I lost my first tooth!" You point to the photo and then launch into an explanation over how you had lost said tooth. Sans listens with rapt attention a gentle smile on his face as he takes in your story while watching your expressions.

He looks back to the photo album when you're done "tooth be told you were a cute kid, what's this one from?" He points to a photo of your child self with a few other kids dressed up in costumes.

"Halloween! My mom made that costume herself she was really proud of it." You smile down at the photo before flipping the page again.

The next photo you point out is of you standing next to a woman with flour coating your hair and hands. There's a small splotch of it on your cheek as well as you give a toothy smile to the camera.

"Heh this one was a night me and mom decided to bake some cookies, I made such a mess. Those are still my favorite cookie to this day too." You giggle thinking about the memory.

"heh thought you had that flour power huh?" You giggle and nudge his arm gently.

"That one was pretty bad babe."

"awh dishes br-egging my heart."

You roll your eyes and turn your attention back to the book as your bonefriend chuckles next to you.

There's a few more photos on this page some with family and some with just you. There's one of you with your childhood pet. You excitedly tell Sans about said pet and how much you had loved that sweet baby.

The two of you look through your photos for awhile. Sans seems happy to be able to see you as a kid and his eyelights remain dilated the entire time he's looking at the photos. You laugh over a few stories and cry over others but it's a good time.

After the photo album is done you grab the camera and turn it on. "Ohh Sans look these are my first steps." You turn the camera to Sans and he watches as a baby you hesitantly stands up and takes a few shaky steps before falling down.

Sans gently takes the camera from you and you rest your head on his shoulderbone as he starts to flip through the videos and photos.

He laughs over a video of you completely covered in baby powder at the age of 3 looking like a walking powdered doughnut.

The next video is of you dancing to a populat pop song at the time singing your heart out as your parents cheer you on. Sans chuckles as he watches your little body dance around the small screen dramatically.

There's even a few videos and selfies that you took yourself when you were old enough to work the camera and Sans seemed to really love watching little you playing with their toys like it's a reality TV show.

"you were such a cute kiddo babe, I'll have to whip out mine and Paps old albums sometime." He says softly as he hands the camera back to you.

"Eee I'd love to see some cute little babybones!" You squeal and pack up the box again being extra gentle with the pieces of your childhood.

After that the cleanings pretty much done for as you had lost motivation after going through the box and you flopped onto the bed to cuddle with Sans as you watched a movie. While watching the movie though you're distracted by a thought the entire time.

"Hey Sans... What do you think our baby would look like?" Sans makes a choked sound. His face holds a shocked expression and there's a slight blush to his face as he looks at you.

"...wanna find out?"

[stayconnecteed]

hi bby <3 i just saw your post and im here to request something 👉👈

i wondering if you could work something with jisung and love at first sight? idk i've been watching too many romcoms lately. it's totally okay if you don't want to write it though, love you <33

🪐˓⠀˚⠀summertime longing⠀@⠀han jisung.

bridgerton au , jisung is head over heels for you ㅤ—⠀⠀at first sight. mention of little wounds ( scratches, really ) & soonie is a paid actor hehe 🫶🏼 this is not a part of my dear gentleman oneshots & it's not proofread. i hate to write on my phone but i don't have my laptop. hope you like it, mana 🤍

SEE MORE.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀2.4k words. ⠀⠀general mlist.⠀⠀join taglist.

The carriage stopped, and Jisung didn't wait for the door to open before jumping out. He was late, and although it wasn't unusual, his old friend Minho would kill him if he didn't show up on time. He didn't bother to look at his pocket watch as he walked the cobblestone path of the Lee manor's entrance, flashing an apologetic smile at the housekeeper who had watched him grow up as she opened the door for him before his fingers caressed the metal knocker. The hall was empty, the only source of noise the bustle coming from the kitchen, and Jisung knew that the guests had already been moved to the garden. Minho was going to notice his absence. Shit.

He hurried through the hallways, the rustle of the fabric of his pants ringing in his ears with each step as the only soundtrack to his march, until he reached the large glass windows of the blue room. He stood in the doorway, taking a deep breath to calm the erratic beating of his heart, flattening the lapels of his suit jacket against his chest. He wanted to think that the shaking in his hands was a creation of his creative mind, but in reality it was just a side effect of his lack of social skills. Jisung closed his eyes. He didn't know why he kept arriving late to places when it made him so uncomfortable to have to enter a room full of people totally alone.

Then he realised that on that occasion the people were in the garden, and he was the one who remained in the room, and he chuckled, shaking his head. What an idiot. He would be fine. Plus, he knew the Lees — it wasn't going to be that bad.

The first to see him as soon as he stepped out onto the terrace was Lady Lee, the Earl of Gimpo, and she quickly gestured for him to come towards her, ignoring the panicked face of the man who should have announced him when he arrived. He did not have to force the smile that curved his lips in reflection of the one that the woman in front of him had, and he responded to her effusive greeting and affectionate comments with easy laughter and lots of promises of meetings with his own mother as soon as possible.

Minho and his family had been travelling all spring, and now that the first rays of sun heralded summer in its most comforting form, they had finally returned, to enjoy the few months of heat before the new season began. And Jisung couldn't wait to hug his best friend again, even if it meant putting up with all the jokes about the experience he had gained in Europe and how little he had been missed. It was part of who Minho was, all the teasing and the sharp smirks, and the least he could do was get to his welcome back event on time, which… Well, he hadn't been able to do it.

Lady Lee's attention slid from her son's friend to the man she had been chatting with before, and Jisung offered a respectful bow, trying to finally find Minho in the crowd. Until he found his broad shoulders moving in silent laughter at his companion's words. And he saw you, the companion, giggling too, covering your mouth with an expert twist of your fan, your cheeks flushed, in front of Minho. Then you looked at him, and for a minute he forgot everything about how to breathe. 

Because looking into your eyes was like listening to a melody. He could hear the quartet that Minho's mother had chosen for the event playing from the little wooden platform by the lake, but it was a completely different tune than that. Your gaze, cheerful and serene, sang of mischievous breezes swaying the treetops at will, of dances without music barefoot on the grass and of the warm rays of the sun kissing your skin. You brought the summer with you, that summer that filled him with life and hope, and as he lost himself in your bright pupils, standing among the crowd, he wondered how his heart had been able to beat until that moment when it didn't had you to beat for.

“Hey, Ji!” Minho called his name, approaching him in a couple of steps, and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. Minho was dry in words, but his actions showed clearly enough how he truly felt about his friends.

Jisung's body reacted with the force of habit, letting himself be embraced and tightening his grip on Minho, as if he was afraid that he would get back on that ship with the desire to travel the world. He couldn't allow it, at least for a long time. Or unless they went together. And after one last squeeze he let him step away, Jisung's hand firm on Minho's back, as the Lees' only son turned to you.

“This is Lord Han, as I told you,” he explained, and you bowed before him, lowering your head with a lingering smile curving your lips. Jisung wanted to kiss that smile into his mouth, but he cleared his throat instead, trying to fill his mind with other — more appropriate — thoughts.

“Milady here wanted to visit our city,” he continued, offering his hand to you, waiting for you to rest it over his, and squeeze it with a familiarity that made Jisung’s heart sting, “so I proposed to her to travel back with us and stay for a while. She was the girl I told you about in my last letter.”

The last letter that had arrived that morning, and that he hadn't read because he was arriving late.

“Then you were absolutely right, my brother,” Jisung uttered, his words withering in his tongue as he linked the word ‘propose’ between you and Minho, “you were going to try to find beautiful views out there in the world. You truly discovered the most breathtaking one.”

Minho gave Jisung a playful punch on the shoulder, his chest filling with pride, ready to affirm any compliment his friend could mutter about you, but he stopped when he saw you addressing Jisung, your voice soft and honeyed, still hidden behind your fan. 

“My lord really praised your composer skills during our trip here,” you whispered, averting your magnetic gaze from his as if you were having trouble bearing the knowledge that Jisung was observing you, completely stunned, but also desperate to have a conversation with you. “He forgot to add how much of a gentleman you were.”

Jisung accepted your words with a light blush covering his cheeks, and he raised his hand almost instantly, narrowing his eyes and waiting, until you released your hold on Minho's hand and let yours rest on Jisung's. His breath got caught in his throat as he felt the soft fabric of your gloves on his fingers, and he wanted to imagine that the way you held your own breath was also due to the touch his lips left on the back of your hand — the greeting of any gentleman. 

And just before either of you could say a single word, you heard Lady Lee scream by the terrace, absolutely stressed, and a spark of orange fur running across the grass like a shooting star in the darkest night. Minho gasped, and Jisung knew. His cats.

You were the one who took the initiative, smashing your fan into Minho's chest and grabbing the hem of your dress in one swift move, following the mischievous creature at a fast pace, ignoring the calls of the rest of the men at the event. Jisung stared at you, starstruck, before running after you. It wasn't the first time he had dealt with Minho's cats, they knew him, for them you were a stranger. It would be his fault if the animal started to get stressed and ended up hurting you. 

The hurried race took him to the forest adjacent to the Lee property, and by the time Jisung spotted you among the foliage, he froze. Your bun had come loose, your hair loose falling over your back, and you had your dress pulled too far up your thighs, fully prepared to climb the tree where Soonie was waiting, curious about what you were doing.

Jisung couldn't think. He didn't know if you had heard him arrive, but he didn't care. He could only focus on the smooth skin he was witnessing — more than he had ever seen in his life — contrasting with the colour of your dress. You didn’t seem uncomfortable being barefoot, your low heels abandoned among the thick roots of the weeping willow, one foot resting on a gap between the folds of the robust trunk and your hands holding tightly to the lowest branches. 

It would be difficult to reach Soonie, because its branch, although low, was too thin for a human, even dangerous with the way it was located above the lake. Jisung could understand why the cat had chosen that tree. He also liked the way its leaves swayed in the wind, and it really did look like a giant feline toy, but they already had scratching toys and little houses in the manor, all handmade by Minho. The adventure had to end before something went wrong.

But before he could warn you of his presence, a leaf creaked under his boots, alerting you, scaring you, and making you lose focus on your tightrope walk along the branch below Soonie's. You lost your balance completely, and Jisung saw your hands trying to grab onto something, anything, before falling into a loud splash on the edge of the lake. Jisung would have laughed if his heart hadn't jumped in his chest, if you had been someone else, if he wasn't so deeply scared that you were seriously wounded. 

He rushed over to where you were, mumbling a string of “I'm sorry’s” as you emerged from the water, taking a breath of oxygen, holding onto the hand Jisung was offering you. Your hair formed spirals in the water, floating around you, just like your dress. Jisung felt so overstimulated that he wasn't able to process how he had just gotten his pants wet, the level of the water reaching over his waist. All he could think about was that your gloves had torn, and that he was touching your skin, the soft but bloody skin of your outstretched hands, and that you were so close that he could feel your rapid breathing on his arm. 

He cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the thoughts that were popping into his head, and pulled you lightly so you could stand up. Only instead of getting angry with him, blaming him for spying on you, your lips curved into a smile, and you let out a crystalline laugh, closing your eyes and relaxing your shoulders before him. You were the picture of happiness, cheeks still rosy and your chest rising and falling against the corset at full speed. Even he felt on edge, with adrenaline bubbling everywhere. 

“There’s no need to be sorry, lord Han” you whispered under your breath, your eyes falling over him, Soonie purring above your heads. “It was a funny accident. I shouldn't have tried to climb so high.”

You weren't apologizing for running away but for not thinking about the density of the branch, Jisung noticed, and he couldn't help but widen his smile at it. He was getting lost in your gaze again, too captured by you, and everything was going too fast. He didn't know if it was good or bad, but he didn't want it to stop. Until he realised that you were getting goosebumps, and the first shiver ran through you. He cursed himself for not having acted sooner, and helped you out of the lake with difficulty, the ground on the shore completely muddy. You were cold.

Jisung avoided looking at you as he turned slightly to take off his expensive suit jacket, ready to give it to you, but when he turned to offer it, he saw that you were removing your dress. He was quick to put his jacket on you before you could continue, shame creeping up his neck and leaving a trail of blush in its wake, and you flashed a mischievous smile, fully aware.

“I’m not going to end up naked, lord Han” you assured him, grabbing the thick fabric of your dress and leaving it on the grass, the figure of your body crafted by the thin white nightgown you wore underneath, before snuggling into Jisung's warm black blazer, “you should court me first.”

Your words snapped Jisung out of the haze he was in, suppressing the urge he had to run his hands along your arms to help you warm up, and he picked up your dress and shoes from the floor, keeping his hands well occupied. He was a gentleman, he shouldn't… He had to involve you both in situations appropriate for a young lady like you. Not in an improvised swim, where you were going to end up so... God, so delicate and delicious, looking at him that way. 

He couldn’t. Not when everyone knew where you were, when Soonie was judging you two among the roots of the trees, approaching Jisung with the confidence of having found a familiar human. Before he could get any closer, you crouched down, holding out your fingers so he could smell them. It took a suspicious look and realising that Minho's cologne was still soaked in you to accept being held in your arms, sticking to your body to provide you with more warmth. 

Jisung had to remember to buy Soonie more treats the next time he visited Minho. 

“Are you coming?” you asked, oblivious to the way the vision you were was killing Jisung inside, you in his clothes, with that cheeky smile, your hair a wet mess but still looking so beautiful.

Still, he nodded, treasuring every second in his memory. One look, and you had cast a spell on him. He would follow you wherever you asked as long as you were the one to guide him. He knew he was in love, because you held his heart in your hand as easily as you had taken Minho's cat, and if you broke it it would hurt more than a bad cut with a rusty knife. He had fallen catastrophically, and was now at your total mercy. The worst part, however, was that he didn't care at all.

© stayconnecteed 2024 ★ do not copy, translate, repost or share this work as yours on other platforms ! consider leaving a comment or reblogging.

[dirtybitfic]

Reality- pt.1

Matt x y/n - Matt was your creative writing professor throughout all four years of university , he made lectures interactive and fun making him your favorite professor , throughout having him as your professor you caught feelings for him , now that you have graduated you think about reaching out....

( didn't proofread cause I didn't have the energy so I apologize if there are any typos)

Y/n pov-

Ive been having the time of my life on vacation with my best friends , we graduated this past spring so we decided to plan an amazing trip to Greece .

Im more than happy to be done with school for the rest of my life but ... I find myself missing one class in particular on this trip . Every time I sit down to read or write about my day or even as I write the book i'm working on , I think back to my creative writing teacher . Ive always loved writing wether it was my dreams as a kid or crazy stories my mind would come up with I found it made me happy . After having Professor Sturniolo for four years he made me fall involve with literature and writing even more . The day I graduated he told me he was so proud of the student I had become in his class , he loved my determination and creativity , and he loved watching me blossom into the hopefully soon to be author I am .

I grew to love him and a professor but also I slowly felt the feelings blossom for him throughout the years . I mean he's young , he was only 23 my freshman year and 19 year old me was foaming at the mouth walking into that lecture hall , His fluffy brown hair, Peircing blue eyes, tattoo scattered arm and deep but calm voice god he was just perfect.

Im three glasses of Santo down while writing a few chapters of my book but start to read over it a bit and feel like its missing something but I cant quite figure out what. Thats when I remember Professor sturniolo told me I could email him anything I write in the future if I ever needed notes or help , he is a published author after all . I search in my notes for his personally email he gave me and start up an email .

*email to profesor Sturniolo

Hi mr. Sturniolo ,

Im sorry to bother you , but I wanted to see if you could maybe read over my latest chapters of my book i'm writing . I trust that you will give me the feed back and guidance I need .

hope your summer is going well !

( inserts pages for him to read)

sincerely , y/n

After clicking send my stomach flutters with nerves , the books I write are... suggestive is the best way to put it . Dark romance is the style i've always been drawn to something about a stalker romance does something to me . When I was in his class I kept it classy with my writing style so having him read this type of work by me seems a bit inappropriate but then again he is no longer my professor so its not as bad .

I set my computer aside and fill my glass again and take a sip as I look over the beautiful scenery in front of me . I put my AirPods in as I start playing Young and beautiful by lana del rey . I close my eyes feeling the warm breeze blow through my hair as a smile spreads across my face . I could get used to this life , traveling around , writing in beautiful places just being happy while doing what I love.

Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac comes on next and I stand as I slowly dance along to the music on the terrace and dramatically turn and grab the railing leaning back . It feels like i'm in a movie with how beautiful the scenery around me is . I hear the sound of an incoming email notification and my heart drops . I pause the song and sit back down looking at my computer seeing its from him . I take a deep breathe before opening it.

Good evening y/n,

I just started reading over the first few pages , your writing is amazing its filled with raw emotion which as a reader makes me more interested to keep reading . Would you be up or able to call once I finish fully reading what you've sent I think it would be a lot quicker for me to just tell you on the phone my feedback then type it out in an email.

Sincerely , Matt.

As I read over the email again just to make sure I read it correctly my heart literally falls to my ass . Im embarrassingly eager to talk to him on the phone . I decide to send him and email saying id love to call and left my number at the bottom .

I sit in the chair buzzing with nerves waiting for my phone to ring. I zone out looking at the water for god knows how long before I snapped out of my trance by my phone ringing. I look to see its a California # meaning its probably Matt.

I shakily pick up the phone and put it on speaker .

"Hi y/n its so nice to hear from you" his voice rumbles through the phone " You too I know its probably very late in California so I'm sorry for emailing you so late" I say shakily as the nerves fully take over my body." oh no please done apologize i'm actually in Italy right now so its not late at all" he says and I gulp Italy isn't too far from here meaning were probably in the same time zone. " oh god even worse ...I bothered you on vacation didn't I?" I ask now feeling terrible for bothering him. " No no trust me your fine i'm taking sometime here to get inspired for some upcoming books i'm writing so really its no bother at all" he says ending it with a warm chuckle that makes me smile. " well thank you again for even taking the time to do this I really appreciate it " I say sweetly " of course so lets talk about these chapters so far , I love the base line I think you've written dane very well , the detail you write about him makes it easy for me to envision him and get a feel for the character , ivory is written even better I mean she almost reminds me of you , but I think its missing some fear aspects . What I mean by that is Dane is her stalker and is following her around and entering her house without invitation so I feel like she should be more scared and fight back more than you have her , I feel like she's a bit too ... calm about the situation. I think if you add in that fear hes distilled in her it will help a lot with their character and relationship growth throughout the rest of the book but other than that I think the writing is amazing so far . I really am happy you came to me for help , I know I could be a little hard on you guys but I really did care about seeing you grow into the amazing writer I know you can be" he says and I cant stop smiling , hearing his kind words and praises have my stomach twisting and my heart beating a mile a minute. " I knew something was missing thank you so much this feedback really did help Mr. sturniolo " I say and I hear him chuckle " Of course and please call me Matt no need for the formality , you probably need to get some sleep I could imagine its very late in Oregon " he says and I smile

" well it is but i'm actually in Greece right now so i'm not to tired" I say " Oh wow then I guess you're watching a beautiful sunset right now , its beautiful here I can only imagine how amazing it is there" he says as I sigh and smile " It really is beautiful , the way it reflecting off the water is the best part " I say as I stand up and walk over to the railing looking out at the beautiful colors filling the sky " show me " he says and I furrow by eyebrows in confusion " what do you mean ?" I ask nervously " Face time me I want to see how beautiful it really is " he says calmly . " O-okay " I say as I hit the face time button and it connects almost instantly , I flip the camera quickly as I show it to him but instead of looking at it with him i'm staring at how fucking hot he looks . " wow your weren't lying its amazing " he says as his eyes move around taking in my view " I know , this place really makes the U.S seem dull and boring " I say as I still cant stop admiring him . "Sadly I have to agree with you on that " He says smiling . He flips his camera showing me the sunset he's currently seeing. " Oh my god ... its beautiful especially on a vineyard god I cant even imagine " I gasp as I take in the view . " It really is something huh" he says behind the camera . "mhm" I hum back smiling . He flips his camera back to his face and reluctantly so do I as I go to sit back down in my chair. " So are you in Greece all alone ?" he asks and I shake my head . " No i'm here with some friends but they've left me alone so I can write a little bit" I say and look into his beautiful eyes through the screen. " Ahh well that seems fun , a big trip with friends is always a good time " he says smiling taking a sip of wine . I admire him as I sigh and smile "Yeah its fun I just... I know i'm only 22 but I feel like i'm too old to be going out like they want to you know , its an every night thing " I say and he shakes his head laughing " trust me you are not too old y/n , you should be going out and having fun ... your young you gotta take advantage of it " he says and I smile " yeah I guess your right " I agree and he smiles before looking slightly behind me . I turn around seeing two of my friends standing by the back door smiling " WHO IS THATTTT " one of them yells and I smack her as she approaches . " No seriously hes so hot " my other friend says smirking . My face gets so red I look like a tomato . " Im so sorry Matt .... I should probably go but thank you again for the help " I rush out nervously " Of course y/n feel free to reach out anytime i'm more than happy to help " he says with a smirk that has me about to pass out in my chair . " Sounds good , have a good night " I say smiling " You too gorgeous " he says before hanging up. I gulp as I realize what he said before he hung up and my heart literally beets so loud I can hear it in my ears and feel it in my head.

" Guys seriously ... That was my old professor " I say as I turn to them still red in embarrassment . " WAIT LIKE ... PROFESSOR STURNIOLO THE ONE YOU NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT" she squeals and I nod . " Oh my god y/n whatttt ... he called you beautiful " she gasps and I hide my face in my hands . " I knowww " I say in a high pitched voice embarrassed. " Okay but like ... a FaceTime is crazyyyy , how did that even happen?" my friend ally asked and she sat down Callie doing the same. " well I emailed him asking if he would maybe read the recent chapters of my book and give me some feedback because I was struggling and then he emailed back and said it would be easier to call instead of email his notes so I gave him my number and then he told me that he thought my writing was great and a couple things I needed to add and then somehow we got to talking and he said he was in Italy and I said I was here and then he said something about how he was watching a beautiful sunset and I told him I was too then he asked me to show him over FaceTime so I did and then you guys came out and yeah " I rambled as they reacted with facial expressions and small gasps and squeals .

" No fucking way I mean girl ... he's gotta be into you I men he fully initiated the calls and shit andddd kept the conversation going after giving you the notes so like ..." ally says making me smile and blush . "Oh for sure he definitely wants you " Callie says smirking and shoving my shoulder . " No he doesn't y'all are reading into it to much" I say as I roll my eyes. " Y/n he called you beautiful ... be so for real right now he definitely likes you " Ally says and I cant help the smile that spreads across my face. " Okay I mean yeah but ... he was my professor we cant go there" I say and shake my head " Oh yes you fucking can , you graduated he isn't your professor anymore " Callie says making me laugh " okay whateverrr now lets go out I need to get drunk " I say as I close my computer and head back inside to get ready.

After a long night of drinking , dancing and laughing with my friends and random people we met throughout the night , Im stumbling up the stairs to our place with all of us giggling like school girls . " Y/n you should totally text him " Callie giggles and I laugh " No I may be drunk but I still know that would not be a good idea" I say and they all giggle " Oh come on you've wanted him for 4 years and he called you beautiful there's no way he'd shoot you down" ally says and I trip making us all laugh. " Shut the fuck up i'm not gonna do it " I say back but the thought runs through my head . " I mean you can send him a picture of this sunrise and say something like , this view would be better if you were beside me " she says and I burst out laughing " That is terrible like level 10 cringey " I say through gasps and giggles. " Okay yeah it was pretty bad but like send him a pic of it and say , is it as beautiful there or something" Callie says and I think about it " You know what okay fine ill do it" I say as I tussle through my purse grabbing my phone and taking a picture sending it to him then the " is it as beautiful there as it is here" .We all steel when I hit send and I throw my phone back in my bag .

" Alright i'm going to bed , my head is spinning right now" I say as I stumble to my room . I tear off my uncomfortable shoes and outfit and use a makeup wipe to get a good amount of my makeup off . Then flopping into bed way to exhausted and drunk to put pajamas on . I hear my phone ding so I fish it out now my purse seeing its a text from Matt . I open it and see its a picture of a sunrise with a text that says " Its pretty but not as breath taking as you" I gasp and throw my phone down giggling . I think of what to text back and decide to let my intrusive thoughts win " Thats a naughty thing to say Mr. sturniolo I was your student after all" with a smiley :) . I giggle at my text but my heart drops when I see the bubbles appear . " Key word was , ive always thought you were beautiful y/n I just kept those feelings hidden for the sake of being professional " his text read and I gasped . No way he just confessed to finding me attractive for these past four years . " Are you fucking with me ?" I text back . " No I mean every word I said , you're the most beautiful girl i've ever seen" he texts back and I scream into my pillow . " Well if we are being honest here ... i've had the biggest crush on you , the entire time I was in your class I couldn't keep my eyes off of you" I text back letting the alcohol fully take over . " Oh really , how many times did you fantasize about me during class?" he asks and I get nervous " every single day to be honest" I text back and 4 seconds later my phone is ringing . I pick it up giggling .

" Y/n " he greets " Matt " I greet back and I can hear him groan " Such a dirty girl for fantasizing about your professor " his deep morning voice says through the phone and I literally have to cover my mouth son moan doesn't slip out . " mm I have no shame about it " I say back smiling like a maniac " Oh I bet you don't , care to share any of these little thoughts you've had about me ?" he asks in a breathy tone making me clench my thighs " mmm I don't know, How bad do want to hear them? " I ask in a drunk but also seductive voice " Very bad " he answers back and I smile " Well i've thought about how you'd be in bed even had day dreams about it in class " I said and I could hear him groan " Oh trust me I know ... the way you'd look at me with your thighs clenched tight told me all I needed to know" he says with a deep chuckle . " y-you noticed that? I ask in a squeaky tone . "sweetheart I notice everything , you really think I didn't know you wanted me come on you made it so obvious" he says in a deep condescending tone making me clench my thighs as wetness pools between them . " I ... I didn't think I was that obvious " I say feeling embarrassed " No need to be embarrassed , I though about you too ... so so many times I wanted to take you over my desk but I couldn't ... but now now I can say whatever I want and there will be no consequences" he practically growls through the phone . I let a small whimper escape my lips and I can hear him groan . " God y/n you have no idea what you do to me" he groans and I whimper . " I could say the same to you Professor " I say in a teasing manner but I hear him mutter a fuck thinking I wouldn't hear it . " when do you get back to Oregon " he asks and I giggle " why ?" I ask " Just answer the question sweetheart " he says and I gulp " Friday" I answer and I can hear him click his tongue through the phone " You live alone ?" he asks and I gulp again " y-yes why" I ask again now feeling very nervous now. " How would you feel if I said im about to redirect my flight home to land in Oregon and stay for a couple days?" he asks and I can practically hear the smirk on his lips through the phone . " I-I yes I mean y-yeah id be okay with t-that" I answer back stuttering like an idiot as my stomach does summer salts. " Good now thats settled , ill be landing on Sunday that sound okay to you sweetey" he asks and I nod my head before realizing he cant see me . " Y-yes sir fuck I mean yes matt s-sorry force of habit " I rush out and I can hear him chuckle "Oh trust me I don't mind you calling me sir , sounds so good coming out of your pretty little mouth" he says and I moan unintentionally . "Well judging by the subtle slur to your words im guessing you haven't gone to sleep yet so ill let you go but well talk soon okay" he says " Mmm yes sir , goodnight " I say as I roll onto my side and get comfortable " Good night gorgeous sleep well " he says before ending the call .

Oh the girls are gonna freak about this when we all wake up .

....

[yenqa]

APPLE CIDER (bedroom sessions)

Sparkling apple cider. Once a sweet, refreshing drink you could easily enjoy. Now everytime you’re reminded of that cursed drink all you get is the sour memories that came with it. One memory including the fallout of yours and (now ex) boyfriend, Jay's relationship. But, it just so happens Jay is determined to win your heart back once again. Will he be able to restore the sweet taste? Or will apple cider ruin your life once again?

read part one here!

genre : exes to lovers, written fic, angst, fluff, dual pov (but more y/n, highschool au

featuring : enhypen, chaewon of lsfm, kwon eunbi, ocs : hyun-woo, mrs. lim

warnings : swearing (lots), ignorant parents (only mentioned), crying, food, parties, groveling??? idk, reader has the same bad habits, blood/injuries

wc : 7k

pairing : jay x fem!reader

YENQA : i worked really hard on this and im really happy with the outcome!! i hope you guys like it as much as i do :) also!! everyone thank @yeokii and @redm4ri for proof reading this!!

000 FIRST HEARTBREAK (prologue)

It was junior year when you first met him. Just last year (2022), Hyun-woo walked up to you in the library with a charming but sweet smile, he sat next to you and introduced himself. At first you were skeptical, unsure of your new friendship. But his stupid cute smile and his enchanting eyes lured you right in.

That night you had left with his number and a smile on your face.

The next few weeks he barely ever talked to you, sufficing with a small wave in the hallways or small talk about classwork. But when spring was just around the corner, that had immediately changed.

Hundreds of messages came through in the span of two months. You two would talk for hours and hours on end about anything really. His sweet smile would stay throughout all those facetimes, sometimes you wondered if his face would fall off if he smiled any longer. 

After months of talking, you figured out you were hopelessly falling for him. And there was no way out. But you also figured he must’ve liked you back—I mean those hundreds of calls weren’t for nothing were they?

At first, they weren’t. He eventually asked you out in May and you dated happily for three months. 

Since he was your first you didn’t know how a relationship should work, or how one should act in it. You thought him ghosting you for weeks on end was normal, and that everyone went through it. Even if it wasn’t normal, he came back to you, showering you in gifts such as stuffed animals and gold jewelry. So, you continued on with the relationship, knowing he would come back to you anyways.

But then, he didn’t come back. It was September and you hadn’t talked to him all August—to say the least you were confused. Where had he been all this time?

The first day of school you had immediately ran up to him, you remembered you had said, “What’s wrong? Why have you been ignoring me all last month?” 

And he laughed.

He laughed straight at your worried expression. 

And you want to cry.

It was all a bet, he said. One that involved completely playing with you to win some money.

You couldn’t cry in front of him, nor could you run away from him like a fucking loser (which you really wanted to do but you wouldn’t want to see the pleasure on his face). All you could do was say “Okay,” and walk away. That’s all you did—So hopefully to him you seemed unfazed. But that facade didn’t last long.

You almost tripped over things or even people on the way to the bathroom, sobbing your eyes out until they had wrung dry.

You were sad—Yes, but you were also frustrated by how stupid you were.

He didn’t even talk to you half the time, he barely even knew what you liked or disliked, he didn’t even pay attention to the kind of jewelry you wore—he bought a gold necklace for you as a loyal silver wearer, and overall you were just stupid. Stupid to fall for the role he put on.

Crying usually didn’t take long for you, usually an half an hour at most. But that day you had sobbed and sobbed in that stupid toilet stall for one hour and you didn’t feel like going back to class with your crusty eyes, so you accidentally skipped your first three periods. 

You remember that day as vividly as possible. Your parents were furious that you skipped three classes—So angry they didn’t even look twice at the dark circles under your puffy eyes or the red tint that had covered your face.

One thing you knew was that you never told them, the only thing telling them would get you was a scolding because you skipped three classes over a boy. A boy who was your “first love”. And as stupid as it sounds, they wouldn’t understand. Honestly you wouldn’t be surprised if they told you that they thought your feelings were just little pranks you were playing on them.

If your parents thought that, everyone probably thought that. So, you put on a happy face for Chaewon, even if she knew you were sad she probably didn’t even care. I mean if Hyun-woo didn’t even like you, who would?

001 REALIZING THE OBVIOUS

Jay never thought he was stupid. Actually, he found much pride in how smart he was. He was always the kind of person to think before they say something. He was never impulsive—Well until he met you that is. But that didn’t really end well did it?

It made it even worse that nobody seemed to care. Sunoo didn’t even send a sad look his way (which by the way—Was totally deserved even if he did mess up).

“Why the long face, Jay? You lose another cute girl?” Jake teases, a grin appearing on his face. 

“Who was it again? Hyun-woo’s ex-girlfriend?" Sunghoon's smile grows, “Finally played her?”

Jay groans, “Yeah, i did, but i messed up, bad.”

“What- did Hyun-woo threaten to jump you again?” Jungwon's eyebrows furrow, almost worried that Jay would lose in a fight with him—which he definitely wouldn’t.

“God, you guys are so ignorant, think about the poor girl for once.” Sunoo sighs, rolling his eyes at his friend's fuckboy-ness.

Jay almost rolls his eyes at Sunoo's comment. Were you thinking about Y/n when you blurted his secret out? But he knew he had to take accountability, whether he liked it or not.

“No way. Does the Park Jay feel bad about a girl? The Heartbreaker Park Jay?" Jake asks. And Jay wonders why he’s even friends with them. “Okay, I do feel bad. How do you apologize to a girl? Also Sunoo?" 

He tilts his head.

“Never get drunk again.” Jay warns.

He scoffs, “Weren’t you planning on telling her anyways? I just ripped the bandage off for you.”

The group of boys burst into laughter but Jay couldn’t seem to figure out what was funny. “I didn’t come here for you guys to laugh at my misery.”

Niki gasps, “Jay, you’re actually serious about this one? This is a first.”

This time Jay actually rolls his eyes, “No dumbass- I’m just mad I can’t play around with her anymore.” The group seems fully convinced, some nodding their heads in expectancy. Jay’s eyebrows furrow seeing them be so blind to his problem, “I was kidding.” He deadpans, “I’m serious about her.”

His nose scrunches ever so slightly, “Oh. Well then you’re in huge trouble.”

“I know.”

“Okay—But seriously,” Jay asked, “How should I apologize?” A sudden wave of silence washed over them, looking at each other and shrugging.

-

Apologies, apologies, apologies was what went through his brain that night. What could he do that could fix the mess he had made?

People say real apologies came from the heart, but what even came from the heart? It’s an organ.

Jay’s mind felt like it was about to explode. It’s been an hour but his mind was empty, completely hollow. How could he fix this situation? Well first he could say sorry—Not that you would forgive him easily but it was a crucial part to his fix.

Until it finally clicked.

002 JAY’S “MASTER” PLAN

Last week you couldn’t bear the thought of coming back to school after the party, but here you were, driving yourself to school after a very sad three week mid winter break. A band aid now covering the tip of your finger that you had picked off. And—Of course. You forgot your water bottle again.

You sigh, fixing your silver necklace, you brush your hair behind your hair and open the car to—Oh fuck.

Why did Jay just happen to look like a fucking angel fallen from heaven at 7am in the morning?

And why was Jay here so early at school? You usually arrive much earlier than him.

You compose yourself, walking past him. Holding yourself to not even slightly slow down or look back. 

Finally arriving at your locker you open it, looking at the light pink bag in it, one that you never put in it. Your eyebrows furrow as you pick it up, opening the mysterious bag.

You smile at the small snacks inside. A small bag of your favorite chips and a few of your favorite candies. That smile drops when you see an apple shaped sticky note with familiar handwriting inside. 

Some gasps behind you, you jump,  quickly turning around to see your beloved friends. “Someone’s got a secret admirer?” Eunbi teases, both Chaewon and her walking up to you.

You sigh, “It’s from Jay, do you want it?” You offer to both of them. They both grab it, sharing whatever snacks are in there. 

“Oh!” Chaewon lights up, “Here’s your coffee.” She smiles with guilt. You smile back, gladly taking a sip of the slightly bitter drink to quench your thirst.

“Did the note say anything?” Eunbi pulls out the slightly crumpled sticky note in there. You glance at it, noticing Jay’s very asymmetrical heart.

You unconsciously laugh, quickly covering it up before grabbing the small note, reading it.

To My Apple,

I was stupid to use you to get back at him. Honestly the most stupid thing I would ever do and I deeply regret it. I’m sorry. I know you probably don’t want to see me right now and I understand that you want your space from me. I just want to make it clear, I really do love you and I would never ever do something that horrible to you again. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be on good terms even if you don’t fully forgive me for what I did to you. I truly am in love with and honestly I can’t live without you. Fuck I just miss you, you don’t have to respond or anything I just want to make it clear that I’m sorry, and I love you so much.

Jay

And your lips tug up just a bit.

“Y/n are you okay? You’ve been quiet since you’ve read that. What’s on there?” Chaewon asks, moving next to you to read from the flimsy paper.

Your eyes widen slightly, “Oh—It’s nothing.” you fumble with the paper a bit, “Nothing important.” 

Eunbi laughs, “You’re such a bad liar, Y/n. But if it’s from Jay then you have to tell us.” Chaewon nods.

“No! I mean, it’s not from Jay. Let’s just go to class?” You smile at them shoving the sticky note into whatever pants pocket you have.

“You’re lucky you have your first period alone Missy.”

Throwing them a cheeky smile, you quickly walk to the nearest trash can, quickly tossing it in before looking around. You make eye contact with Jay and quickly look away again.

God—Why was the universe never on your side?

Though you try to ignore the small frown on his face, it runs through your head all day. Until, suddenly you're walking to your math seat again.

“Y/n you’re lucky that this is the only period I have with you, and that we spend all of lunch with our mouths stuffed” Eunbi groans, unpacking her notebook. She places it down neatly on her desk, before leaning forward to you.

“So, was it from Jay? Weren’t- like apples your thing?”

You let out a sigh, turning around “Apple cider was our thing. And maybe.”

She frowns, “Maybe? Y/n tell me, yes or no.” 

You shrug again, turning back to the front making eye contact with the man himself again.

Does this man ever stop looking at you? Because you were almost certain his eyes were glued onto you. You look down at your notebook, trying to act as unbothered as possible—Which doesn’t really work since you hear Eunbi snickers..

You roll your eyes even though Eunbi can’t see it, she can read you like a book, whispering “If you keep rolling your eyes they’ll fall to the back of your head.”

Leaning back, you whisper, “I don’t think that’s how it works, stay in school Eunbi.”

003 PLAN IN MOTION

Getting out of the car the next day you hope and pray to every fucking god you know that you won’t see his familiar face again. But nothing ever seems to go well for you, because you see his sad smile through the window of his car.

You repeat what you did yesterday, walk away as quickly as you can without looking weird. But your legs quickly pick up because of your nervousness, speed walking to the entrance doors instead. You lean on the door, pushing to open it before walking in the same pace to your locker.

Then you finally slow your pace, opening your locker to see another light pink bag.

This time, the same snacks but with a plastic water bottle inside, with a little note saying “Make sure to drink lots of water <3”. You subconsciously smile, fishing out the piece of paper neatly tucked in.

Unfolding the paper, your jaw drops at the pencil writing that manages to cover the whole page.

Apple, my love, I might not be the best at words but I think seeing your lips tug up at my other small note motivated me to write this. Did I ever tell you that your smile brightens up my day? As cheesy as it sounds at night I used (I still do btw) to think about whatever stupid joke I made when we were on a date and how you would laugh happily at it, even if it was the worst joke ever known to mankind. And as embarrassing as it is to admit it I would giggle about it. Before and after we started dating. But you always cover your mouth when you laugh. but you shouldn’t. Your smile makes me feel like everything going wrong in my life will fix itself. When I was with you I had no worries, you made me feel free. But I’ve only brought you worries. I’m sorry. 

Recently, I’ve been noticing you’ve been smiling less and yesterday you forgot to bring your water bottle to school. Please stay healthy and eat well, okay? Even if you hate me, I still care for your health. Don’t skip meals and drink lots of water, please. I’d do anything just to have a five minute conversation with you. I understand that what I did was unforgivable and that you shouldn't trust me again but please, put your trust in me one more time and please come to Azalea park at 3pm tomorrow and I’ll explain everything. I know you're angry but I beg that you be angrier at a closer distance. I’m sorry for the mess I’ve made, and I promise I’ll fix it.

Jay

Your eyebrows furrow. Was he serious? Was he trying to publicly embarrass you? Why did you want to go so bad?

Opening your phone to quickly text up Eunbi and Chaewon, who mysteriously hadn’t shown up yet.

You

bitch jay just wrote me a long last letter abt how hes sorry and how he truly loves me and wants to meet up and make things right????

where tf are yall btw

eunbi mlll

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

ARE YOU SERIOUS??

YOU HAVE TO GO

also chae cant drive me so bus it is…

chaechae

sorry ill be late to school 2day bc doctors lolsies

but r u sure eunbi????

y/n i love u but idk if this is a good idea

wait what did he say

eunbi mlll

NO U HAVE TO GO

but let us see the letter to confirm if hes sincere

You

im not about to show U guys the letter

Omfg guys i almost giggled reading it. this is Bad.

he said that he would do anything for a five minute talk with me and that he knows im mad at him but to be mad at a close distance???

now… i am Nawt your strongest soldier.

chaechae

shit if he wrote me that i wouldve folded too

changed my mind i say do it

You

so…. 2/2 votes yes?

thats kinda nerve racking idk if im ready to face him

eunbi mlll

y/n i am ready to get down on my knees and beg for u to go

you got this girl!

worst case scenario u slap him and embarrass him

chaechae

or maybe slap him when you get there, saves you the time

Just Kidding!!! Hahaha

You

Not funny at all.

hate u all

FUCKK now i have to text him and say im going

eunbi mlll 

why not let him suffer???????

You

ill feel bad

chaechae

Oh

i mean did jay do that when you guys met??

You

fuck u

You exit your group chat, looking several spots down and spotting Jay contact, wincing at your last messages.

You

i’ll be at the park by 3. don’t fuck this up park

jay

wouldn’t even think about it 

004 THE MEETING

Why did I agree to this again? 

You glance at the clock, 2:58, I should head out now. 

Sighing you open your door, walking to—From what you can distinguish from his back, Jay. you walk around the bench, brushing whatever dirt was on it and taking a seat.

Jay gives you a relieved smile, glasses framing his face perfectly-

“Glasses?” You blurt, studying the frame of them.

He coughs awkwardly, “Yeah- I um—I got them yesterday, forgot to wear them to school.”

Awkward silence washes over you two. Well was he going to say something or not?

And it’s almost like he can read your thoughts, because he starts, “Look—Apple. I just wanted to apologize in real life. It was a shitty move of me to use you-”

“Yeah- very shitty.” You interrupt, “Sorry, go on.”

“Oh okay, um- it was a terrible decision I made and I totally messed with you at the beginning, and never told you, I’m sorry.”

He pauses, choosing his words carefully.

“And—I regret it so much. I mean, you were the best thing that ever happened to me and I didn’t want to fuck it up, which would’ve happened anyways. I should’ve told you earlier on before I asked you out but I was afraid. Afraid that the only good thing in my fucked up life would vanish. So I ran away from the problem instead of talking to you about it like I should’ve. I’m sorry for running away and I swear, I would never hurt you—ever again. You don’t have to give me an answer yet, but just know that I still love you with all my heart.”

You take a deep breath, Fuck—what do I say? Should I ask him what he had against Hyun-woo?

Deciding to ask, you look at him with a hint of disappointment, “So why? What do you have against him that made you play with me?”

His eyebrows raise slightly, surprised you didn’t slap him and leave. 

“Oh— it’s kind of stupid.” He says, pushing up his glasses slightly.

“I mean he both kinda fucked us over, right? I won’t judge, I hate his guts anyways.”

Jay lets out a breathy smile. “I used to be on the rugby team, remember?”

“Of course I do.”

“Well—I sound like such an egotistical jerk when I say this, but he took the captain position from me by sweet talking his way to the top. It wasn’t mine to begin with, but everyone thought that I deserved it the most, but of course, he took it from me. I wasn’t super mad or anything, I actually thought I was too cocky for um—thinking I deserved the position. It didn’t really help that he also kind of made fun of me any chance he got for not being captain. Blaming me for every loss we had then I just- snapped I guess? I quit then and there and here I am now. Even after I quit he still talked shit about me and I couldn’t really do anything. And I saw you and…” he trails off, “You know what happened.”

You swallow hard, trying to take it all in. “I’m sorry that happened to you.” 

You nervously start picking at whatever skin on your ring finger you could find, looking down so you wouldn’t have to look at his expression.

“It’s not your fault, don’t apologize, Apple. Plus I’m over it.”

He suddenly scowls, grabbing the now bleeding hand. 

“Stop doing this. It’s not good” He pulls out a bandaid from his pocket, carefully placing it around your finger.

You laugh at the sight, “You carry around band aids now?”

“Ever since I met you, yeah.” He slips out and you both go silent.

Was that true? He noticed it?

You clear your throat awkwardly, yanking your hand away after he finishes. “Thank you for the band aid—uh, about your apology, I appreciate it, but I need some time to think about it, if that's okay?”

“Yeah, take your time, I understand.” He gives you a soft smile, which you return. Waving at him while walking to your car.

You sit in the driver’s seat, calling the group chat while backing out.

Chaewon joins first, “So…. How’d it go? Did you slap him? Or did you forgive him?”

Eunbi joins just after, waiting for your answer.

“I don’t know how to feel.” You answer, sighing.

“Hey, you’ll figure it out Y/n! Don’t worry, everything will be fine.” Eunbi gives you a thumbs up with a soft smile.

You nod, returning her smile, and you try to believe it too.

005 THE CALL

As soon as you were out of view Jay pulled his phone out, noticing the ten text messages from the man himself.

sunoo 

jayyy

hello

where r u

wait r u two meeting today

OK IK U WONT SEE THIS

so i just want to say sorry for… kinda ruining ur relationship.

IM SO SORRY I WAS DRUNKK PLEASE FORGIVE MEEE

anyways.. text me back whenever u can!!

have fun with y/n

hope it goes well

A smile grows on Jay’s face, he presses his contact photo, bringing his phone to his ear.

“Jay! I didn’t think you would answer so soon?”

“It’s been fifteen minutes? I feel like that's a good amount of time to have a conversation.” Did you just want to leave him as soon as possible? Fuck maybe he didn’t have a chance to win you ba-

“Oh! It’s been fifteen minutes? I guess time flies when you’re on your phone right?” Nevermind.

“So! Did you and Y/n kiss and make up? Or was she angry?”

“No, we just talked? Like I said we would?” 

“Are you sure?” Sunoo says in a teasing tone. With that simple sentence, Jay could tell Sunoo was probably giggling to himself about you two meeting up.

“Yes I’m sure? Why would I be lying?” Jay feels the wind pick up some speed, an indication he should go home. He walks himself to the car while talking to Sunoo.

“So you’re telling me, all you did was apologize and she left?”

“Yeah.”

Sunoo groans, “That’s so boring! Totally thought you would have a movie moment then.”

“I mean the only thing unexpected I told her was what happened with Hyun-woo and me.”

He dramatically gasps, “But you never tell anyone? Why does she get to know and not me?”

“She asked.” Jay shrugs, starting the car.

“But you never told me, I only know that you two hate each other! This is straight favoritism. Can’t believe you.” Sunoo angrily exclaims, deciding to hang up the call.

Jay sighs, driving back home.

006 DAY RUINER 

Today, you smile as you leave your car. Instead of walking as fast as you can to the doors, you even wave at Jay’s car pulling in. He waves back, a big smile on his face that catches onto yours. You happily walk to the entrance, pushing open the entrance door and walking to your locker.

Getting your first period textbook, and closing your locker, you quickly spot Eunbi and Chaewon walking towards you. 

“Someones happy, did you get a good morning message from your lover?” Eunbi teases.

You take a sip of the coffee Chaewon gave you. “No? Can’t a girl just have a good day?”  You twirl around.

“Okay you’re acting really weird. Is something wrong?” They exchange glances, waiting for your answer.

“Yeah, somethings wrong.” A male voice comes up to you. Your smile immediately drops. Hyun-woo looks at you, standing between you and Eunbi, he grabs your hand dragging you away.

“What the fuck? Get off me!” You exclaim, trying your best to yank your hand away from him. But apparently his rugby muscles could keep you in his hold, but definitely way too tight for comfort. Hopefully you won't get a big ass bruise there.. He leads you to a hallway which is surprisingly empty.

“Can we talk? Y/n?”

You scoff, “Are you crazy? You drag me here and expect me to want to have a civil conversation with you?’ huffing, you turn back around.

“I want to get back together, Y/n!”

You stop in your tracks, turning around at his conflicted face before bursting out laughing. You only laugh more looking at his hurt face.

“Y/n are you laughing? I’m serious! I want you back! And I know you want me back too!” 

You finally stop laughing, taking a deep breath “Gosh you’re funny Hyun-woo. Okay, I’m leaving.” He grabs you again. Does this guy think he’s in a kdrama or something?

“Y/n. I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I miss you. Can we get back together?”

“So… you played me, and you want to get back together?”

“I wouldn’t say played-”

“Oh but I would. And can you get your hand off me? I can feel your odor latching on to me.” Yanking your hand away, you look at him in disgust.

“Y/n please. Can we-”

“You’re insane Hyun-woo. If you haven’t gotten the hint yet—Which I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t, I’m not interested in dating someone who’s a lookalike to the hunchback of Notre Dame. Actually, maybe that would be an improvement to you.” You shrug, walking away. Shivering in disgust at the thought of him grabbing your arm.

How did I even like this guy? Also what is it with men these days? A scowl is very obvious on your face as you walk back to your lockers. Before you get back to Chaewon and Eunbi, someone taps you from behind.

You turn, “I swear to god Hyun-woo if you-”

“Not Hyun-woo, just me.”

You turn to see Jay, a frown present on his face. Your mouth widens slightly and you close it right away. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for that, but are you okay? Why did he do that?” He checks your wrist for any forming bruises. Tsking at the slight red tint on your arm. “I’m fine, Jay. It was for something stupid anyways.” you answer, grabbing at his hands to stop.

“What’d he do?” You can hear the genuine concern in his voice and you know you’ll feel horrible if you don’t tell him.

“He just,” you cough awkwardly, “asked to get back together.”

His face changes slightly, but you can’t tell how, “Did you agree?”

“Oh god no—oh my god I wouldn’t even spare a single thought thinking about it.” You laugh, squeezing his hand slightly. A wave of relief washes over his face, “I’m glad. Call me if he does it again, okay?”

“Am I supposed to be your damsel in distress?”

“I was thinking we could kick his ass together.”

You let out a giggle, “I’ll make sure to let you know then,” waving goodbye, you walking back to your beloved trio.

“Oh my god, I didn’t know the talk went that well, you guys were flirting so hard!” Chaewon whisper-yells.

“We were not flirting.”

“Oh you so were. You literally giggled while talking to him” Eunbi agrees.

“I did?”

“See it was so natural you didn’t even notice! I wasn’t really a fan of Jay but he clearly makes you happy.” Chaewon admits, putting her hands up in surrender from Eunbi’s offended look.

“I don’t know. I mean he did kinda use me. So who says he won’t do it again?” 

“Me, I do. If he does I’ll literally punch him to oblivion” Eunbi and Chaewon start pretend boxing, the bell interrupting their match. They both groan, giving up mid match.

“I’m glad I’m friends with the next Muhammad Ali, but I’m going to go to class now.” You laugh, waving goodbye and walking to your first period.

007 CALLS AT MIDNIGHT

Your math class gave you time to think about everything going wrong in your life, because who was actually listening to Mrs. Lim’s blabbering? You doodle little hearts in your notebook, now noticing that you hadn’t written a single note and the whole page was just covered in your drawings.

Does this class never end or something? You wonder, checking the clock. 

Twenty minutes left, you internally groan, how is it that time moves so slow during times like these? You bring your hand to your mouth, biting the nail off your ring finger. Feeling a vibration coming from your phone, you quickly take a look at the board, making sure the teacher was still writing before checking it.

jay

stop

You

whatd i do???

jay

stop biting your nails

i can see you doing it yk

You

thats none of your business

jay

it’s not

but i still care ya know

You

oh really?

jay

really.

You

fine whatever 🙄🙄

The smile that had grown on your face quickly fades the moment you even notice it was there. Why are you folding so easily Y/n? You have to give him a hard time! You sigh louder than you realize, quickly feeling embarrassment when Mrs. Lim stares right at you.

“Is something wrong, Y/n?” Mrs. Lim asks, a cruel eyebrow raised.

Oh, fuck me. “No Mrs. Lim, nothing is wrong.” You smile as sweetly as you can.

“Then I guess you won’t mind answering one of these questions?” She showcases three equations on the board.

Your smile falls slightly, not this shit again, you complain, walking up to the first equation staring at it blankly while she picks the next two students. Holding the marker up and pretending to think, knowing damn well that you hadn’t listened to a single thing she said that day.

Looking over to the person next to you, Jay, seems to already be looking in your direction, a small smile on his face.

“Looks like you need help this time, Apple? What a twist.”

You roll your eyes, “You didn’t even need help last time. But yes, I do. Could you please—like give me the answer or something?”

“X equals four point five seven.”

You finally return his smile, a small thank you coming out as you write it on the board.

After another long twenty minutes the bell finally rings, indicating that school is finally over. Your usual after school routine was, 1. walk to your car with Chaewon and Eunbi (sometimes you hung out, but today you weren’t) 2. Go home (duh), and start your homework,  3. Eat dinner, and 4. Go on your phone until you fall asleep. You didn’t mind this arrangement, it kept you comfortable knowing that you had some free time later in the day. But today, you were dreading it more than ever.

Why? you ask?

Every couple of days, whenever your phone wasn’t doing your boredom justice you put it down for a good three minutes. And those three minutes entirely made up of you staring at the ceiling and thinking. That was the problem. You didn’t want to think about a single thing that happened today. You didn’t want to think about your upcoming tests that only got you nervous before you were about to go to bed or your love life (which it sometimes went to but you always dreaded even bringing up the topic to yourself).

Tonight was one of those nights you would stare at the ceiling.

The topic you always first thought of was what you did earlier that day. But unfortunately for you, half of the day you had thought about you and Jay basically holding each other's hands. And the other half was thinking about if you forgave Jay yet.

You wanted to say you didn’t. That you would have to take at least two weeks after the apology to even think about the apology. But two days after the apology, here you were. Staring into space about how you think he would react to you forgiving him.

I mean you had basically already forgave him, I mean you wouldn’t have squeezed someone's hand you hated, right? And you definitely don’t miss the voice of someone you hate.

Staring at the ceiling clearly wasn’t a good idea. Because you were already grabbing your phone, looking at his contact. Just above it is your group chat with Eunbi and Chaewon. Maybe you should get a greenlight before you decide to call him.

You glance at the clock, making sure it wasn’t too late to text your friends. The clock hits 11:52 as you look at it. Typing out the texts, you wait until the message sends before closing out of the app.

You

hey guys lawl

r u awake 

pls say Yes!

Luckily, Chaewon answers just a few seconds after you close the app.

chaechae

hi im awake

is eunbi awake around this time???

You

no shes never awake past 10 LMFAO

shouldve messaged u privately

chaechae

HELPP FR

wait so what did u want to talk abt

You

Uhmm

so uh

do u think its weird that i’ve forgiven jay so easily and should i call him.. lowkey miss him

chaechae

BITCH U FORGAVE HIM??

WHEN

ok but no??

i mean anyone could literally see how hard he tried to make it up to you

and call him!! Yolo

You

ok Thx!!!!

chaechae

yw 😘😘

Closing the chat, you look at his caller i.d, noticing how big his smile was in the contact photo you never deleted. Smiling, you look down at the call button, wondering if this was a good idea or not. You hesitantly lift your finger, hovering over the rectangle before clicking it.

The phone rings twice, before he answers.

“Y/n, is everything okay? Why are you calling at midnight?”

“Everything’s fine, don't worry, but sorry, did I wake you up?”

You can hear shuffling on his side of the call, before he answers, “No no, I was awake. Why did you call?”

“Honestly? I just wanted to hear your voice.”

He lets out a low chuckle, “Really? That’s it?”

“I also think I forgive you and I want to be your girlfriend again.”

A wave of silence washes over you two. Not a single sound comes through your phone, not a single shuffling or anything. Maybe you shouldn’t have called him, this was a stupid idea. Who let you make important decisions past ten o’clock?

Until he starts up again. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“You don’t have to answer that right now if you’re not ready to, I can wait eternity for you.”

“No it’s okay, That’s my answer. Let’s give this thing another try.”

“Thank you, Apple. I’ve missed you a lot, you know?”

You smile, “I’ve missed you a lot too.”

008 FOREVER

“Jay, it’s a Saturday.”

He has a huge grin on his face, he very proudly presents what’s in his hands. A bouquet of white and purple roses with a mix of some unknown flower sit in his hands, the brown paper wrapped by twine making him loudly announce every move he’s about to make.

“So? I missed my girl.”

You sigh, rubbing your pried open eyes. “At nine in the morning? I wake up at like eleven.” His smile never falters, not a single bit, “I got you flowers.” Jay says, handing them to you.

“Thank you, Jay. But these are so bright they could literally blind me.”

“I put a lot of thought into this, you know? ‘Made sure to pick the prettiest one for you.” He points to the unknown purple flower. “This is called a Heliotrope.” 

“Is there a meaning to it?” 

“You’ll figure it out.” He smirks. Rolling your eyes, you invite him into your house. placing the bouquet carefully on your desk before inviting him to sit on your bed.

You lay back in the spot you were before you had opened the door. About to tuck yourself back in when you realize you have a guest with you, you toss the blanket open, gesturing for him to lay next to you. Jay gladly accepts, laying next to you. Closing your eyes you feel the dip in the bed  right next to you.

You two both move to get comfortable, finding it best when you’re facing each other, arms lazily thrown over each other.

“Did you just come here to cuddle?” You ask, the words barely coming out of your throat. A soft chuckle comes out of him, you can feel the vibrations of his chest when he says, “Would you mind if I said yes?”

You shake your head no, pulling him impossibly closer. He wraps his arm around your head, softly caressing it until you fall asleep.

Later, you wake up to Jay still sleeping soundly. Checking the time you realize you’ve been sleeping for at least an hour. You grab your phone from the bedside table checking your notifications and social media apps. 

In your peripheral view, the bright purple flowers stand out brightly to you. You quickly switch apps to look up the meaning of the flower.

Pressing enter you read the first box you see.

“In the language of flowers, Heliotrope symbolizes devotion and eternal love.”

A smile grows on your face, Eternal love, I could get used to that.

009 TO DRINK SOME APPLE CIDER (extra timeskip)

Sitting down at your vanity, you look over at Jay to see his familiar dyed silver hair, and a nice dress shirt. You turn back to the mirror.

“Can you believe 2024 is over?” You ask Jay, blending out the eyeshadow you’re putting on. He walks next to you, wrapping his arms around your body, laying down on you. “I’m glad I’ll be spending it with my girl.”

You cover your face feeling the warmth grow on it, slapping his arm, and he quickly pulls away, hissing at the contact. 

“Hey! What was that for?”

“For not letting me get ready.” You jokingly roll your eyes, he quickly kisses your cheek before going back to fix his shirt.

Once you finish you showcase your look, you decide to wear a satin green dress, matching Jay’s dark green shirt. You both look at your full length mirror admiring how you look.

“You look so pretty, Apple.” He says, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead.

You smile when he does that, “You don’t look too bad yourself, Park.”

He frowns, “Don’t call me Park.” he says. You smirk mischievously, “I’m sorry, my big baby.” You tease, pinching both his cheeks. A knock to your apartment door sets you apart. You quickly let his cheeks go, a red tint fills them as you run to open the door. Chaewon and Eunbi greet you two, both holding food of some sort.

Later everyone arrives and the sound of the room grows. Laughter and banter fills the air as the clock continues to click to midnight. 

You stand off to the side, wanting a break from everyone for a little bit, taking a sip of the sparkling apple cider you’ve had in your hands the whole night. You look back up to see Jay approaching you with a smile, showcasing his matching cup.

“We both have apple cider!” He exclaims, gesturing to the amber colored drinks in both of your hands.

“What a coincidence.” You laugh, enveloping him in a hug. “Where have you been all night? I haven’t seen you since Jungwon arrived.”

“Sorry, I was just talking with them. Got caught up and then suddenly it’s minutes to midnight! Couldn’t miss my new year’s kiss with my girl could I?” 

The seconds count down as the crowd of friends all join to count down from ten. 

“Ten!” They exclaim.

“Who said you were getting one?”

“Nine! Eight! Seven!”

“I’ve been hoping for one. Would you like to be my New Year’s kiss?”

“Five! Four! Three!”

“I’d love to.” You respond,  he barely hears it before the friends scream in excitement. 

“Two!”

You close your eyes, smash your lips into his, tasting the sweet apple cider from both of your lips. He smiles into the kiss as the whole apartment celebrates. He wraps his unoccupied hand around your waist, as you wrap yours around his neck, being careful to not spill.

You finally pull away and he looks at you with a love sick gaze. You let out a breathy smile, “Happy New Year, My love.”

“Happy New Year, Apple.”

Giving him a huge hug, you look at everyone chug down their champagne drinks, laughing when Sunghoon spills on his shirt. 

“I love you.” Jay whispers.

“I love you too, Jay. I hope we spend the rest of the year together.”

“Maybe even forever.” He replies.

You look back at him, tilting your head slightly. A huge smile still plastered on your face. “Forever and always.”

taglist : @jwnghyuns @ja4hyvn @trsrina @redm4ri @badmuni @yeokii @enhastolemyheart @softpia @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @flwoie @kjrcrz @hsgworld @boyfhee

yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.

[hanniefangz]

his universe - ★｡･:*:･ﾟ

pairing: dad!jisung x F!reader

tags: fluff, angst [kinda]

summary: jisung is worried about not being a good father to his daughter, y/n convinces him otherwise.

word count: 2K

it wasn't unusual for you to hear the soft patter of footsteps along the hallway carpet as your boyfriend, jisung, paces up and down it. it was a sign he was anxious, and whilst most days you were able to tell what it was about just from a look in his eyes, today he wouldn't give you so much as a glimpse into his worries. if you weren't preoccupied right now, you would've have immediately gone out to soothe him, but your arms were currently rocking your daughter back and forth as the sleepy baby gargles she was making slowly quietened into a tiny snore. once she was settled, you places her gently in her crib, flicking off the nightlight and slowly meeting jisung in the hallway as you close the nursery door. his pacing stops and his gaze drops to the floor and he's stood right in front of you, so you place a soft hand on his shoulder.

“ji? are you ready to talk yet? aera is finally asleep” you speak to him softly, hoping that he'll be able to open up to you now. he'd been in an anxious state all day, barely any words spoken between the both of you, in the short time you'd seen each other since he'd gotten home from work and you'd been busy with aera. he looks up slowly, tears forming at the corner of his eyes and he nods, letting out a sniffle. your heart almost breaks in two seeing him like this.

“come on love, let's go talk.” you softly take his hand, and walk into your own bedroom. he sits on the bed, and you sit beside him, hand still in yours the entire time.

“what's going on ji?” he looks back up at you, tears falling fully now and attempts to start, finding it difficult each time, but he gets there eventually, your eyes never leaving him for a second.

“i feel like im not a good enough dad for aera.” he sighs between sobs. you frown and his tears spill harder.

“oh ji, you're such a good dad for her, i promise. the best even, why do you think you're not?”

“i’m never here, i haven't spent any time with her because i'm always working, when we start touring or have another comeback im going to be here even less and i feel like im just going to be abandoning you both. i leave you to do absolutely everything because i'm terrified of doing it wrong. she adores you, of course she does, you're the only one she sees everyday. im just there sometimes. i don't have time to spend with either of you as much as i want to and i hate it because i don't want to chose between you and my work, because i love it all too much. i don't know what to do y/n. i feel like im being torn in two.” his tears have since stopped but you can still feel his shaky breaths as he speaks quickly. it's hard for you to take it all in, but you get the overall message and your heart breaks for him even more, tears springing to your own eyes.

“jisung. i promise you that you are the most amazing dad that aera, actually scratch that, anyone, could ever ask for. it's okay that you're not here all the time, you're providing for us both and i don't expect you to give up your big dream for the two of us. we're here to support you, always. just think about how many presents you've bought for her that she can't even thank you for yet. you wrote her a song and begged for it to be put on the next album because she's your whole world, how many kids can say their dad did that? you come home to us both every single night, you give her goodnight cuddles and sing her lullaby's. yeah sure, there's a lot that you don't know how to do, but we're only young ji. im still learning as well. we've got time. we're in this together. you're an amazing dad. and you're doing so so well. im so proud of you baby.” tears are now streaming down both of your faces as he holds you close to his chest, stroking your hair softly.

“you really mean that?”

“every single word of it ji. you're doing so good.”

“thank you baby, you are too. im proud of you too. you're the best mom to aera.”

“thank you.” you sigh softly against his chest, basking in the warmth of your bodies being pressed together, you crave these moments more than anything. you sit there for a few moments, calming both of your breathing, and you break the silence after a while.

“she really loves you, you know.” jisung pulls away from the hug and looks at you, his head slightly tilted quizzically.

“hmm?”

“the way she looks at you, she looks like she's looking at the whole universe. you are her whole universe.” you smile at him softly and he looks down shyly.

“i mean it ji, she does. she loves you so much. how could she not. you're you.”

your hand moves up to softly stroke his cheek, pinching it softly making him giggle. one of your favourite noises in the whole world, making warmth flood through your veins and a soft blush appearing on your face.

“you're so cute. i love you.” you whisper, and you give him a soft kiss on the lips, rubbing his cheek with your hand again.

“i love you too.” he replies with a tiny smile.

the two of you decide to go downstairs and make some dinner, even if it was a bit late, you'd both been too occupied to think about eating earlier and the hunger was catching up to you. you offer to cook, giving him the option to watch something on the tv, but he insists on at least sitting in the kitchen with you, but decides to help you anyway by cutting up the veggies for your meal.

halfway into cooking, the baby monitor that was in the kitchen starts to make a few noises; aera was due for a change and she was getting fussy upstairs.

“ji?” you call to your boyfriend, who was currently washing the veggies.

“yeah baby? what do you need?”

“could you keep an eye on this in the pan for me? aera needs changing, she's about to start crying.” you stop what you're doing and go to leave when jisung stops you.

“you keep doing this, you're better at cooking that i am and i'll probably end up ruining it, i'll go change her.”

“are you sure?” you ask, eyebrow raised, half expecting him to be grossed out by the prospect of changing a diaper.

“yeah, i'll be okay. plus you've probably done it about a million times today, it's only fair i take this one.” he smiles at you and waltzes out of the kitchen and quickly upstairs to her nursery before you can stop him.

you finish cooking the meat in the pan within seconds of jisung going upstairs, and move over to continue with the veggies, when you hear jisung speaking softly to aera over the baby monitor, and you secretly thank yourself for buying the ones with the screen, so you could see jisung flick on the nightlight and carefully pick up your daughter and take her to the changing table

“it's okay baby, daddy's here, getting you all cleaned up” he whispers to her softly as she wails rom discomfort. he continues to clean her up extremely carefully, buttoning up her pyjamas again and slowly rocking her in his arms. she's still crying, and he decides to speak to her softly again

"it's okay,, shhh, im here. you're okay. everything is okay. you can sleep now bub." you watch as he softly strokes her head like he'd seen you to soothe her cries, pressing soft kisses to the crown of her head and singing a her lullaby quietly. it's not long until you realise he was singing the song he'd written for her, and her cries had almost completely stopped, once again tiny baby gurgles until there was complete silence, and he was placing her back in the crib carefully.

“goodnight little one, i love you so much. mommy and daddy love you so so much. you and mommy mean absolutely everything to me. she's doing so well with you, isn't she just the best?” he whispers softly as he tiptoes back out of the room, flicking the light off as he leaves. your eyes are filled with tears watching the entire scene and he comes back into the kitchen with a smile on his face

“baby? what are you doing? is the food done?” he asks when he sees you wiping your eyes on your sleeve.

“a-almost. sorry i was watching you put aera down. im so proud of you ji, you did so well.” you smile at him and give him a hug as he walks back over to you.

“do you really think so?” you nod, kissing his cheek softly. “thank you my love.”

“of course ji, i told you she loves you. she doesn't go back to sleep for me that fast. you're the best dad to her.” he smiles again and kisses you on the forehead, before pulling away

“let's continue? im starving.” you giggle as you hear his stomach rumble slightly

“hmm i guess so.” you tease, and you both get back to work

once the food was cooked, you eat in the living room while watching some television, before the tiredness from the eventful day washes over the both of you. you take the plates to the kitchen, about to start cleaning them yourself when your boyfriend stops you.

“i'll do it, you go get ready for bed baby.” he ushers you upstairs

“nooo, i don't wanna be alone.” you playfully whine, and you insist on staying in the kitchen with him this time, just enjoying being in his presence. he allows you to stay, and you wrap your arms around his waist as he gets on with it, and you practically fall asleep with your face smooshed against his back.

he lets out a soft chuckle as he untangles himself from you, picking you up softly and taking you upstairs to your bedroom, where he helps you find and get changed into some pyjamas since you were almost completely asleep at this point, the exhaustion had finally caught up to you. once you're both dressed, he takes you to the bathroom and sits you on the toilet seat, passing you your toothbrush as he does your skincare routine on you, which he'd mastered perfectly from watching you do it almost every single day you'd been together, making it a quick routine so you can both sleep faster. he cleans his own teeth quickly, before taking you both back to your bed, where you cuddle up to each other the minute you're both uncle the covers.

“goodnight ji, i love you.” you mumble sleepily, yawning as you speak, your head resting on his chest.

“goodnight baby, i love you too. sleep well.” he gives you a kiss on the forehead, making you hum sleepily, and almost instantly you're asleep.

jisung lies awake for a while, listing out for aera, so that you wouldn't have to get up to sort her out, but once he's certain everything is okay, he comfortably falls asleep too, thinking about what you'd said.

he was aera’s universe, and the two of you were his.

omg hi hello this is my first time publishing anything on tumblr !! i hope you enjoyed reading this - reblogs & feedback would be greatly appreciated <3

[chrisevansonly]

Harry Styles A Dad Headcannon 🤍

Harry was meant to be a dad, you knew it from the moment you met him, and his mother knew it for a while now too

He was the sweetest with kids, didn’t matter if they were newborn or 7 years old, he adored children, but it was a different story with your kids

Harry is the most attentive father, even father to be, he is the absolute best throughout the 9 months of pregnancy, from giving the best back rubs, getting all the cravings you could ever need, or reading your unborn baby bedtime stories

If you needed Harry he would be there no matter what, you and your growing family are the most important things in his life and he would drop anything at the sound of a ringtone

Harry is definitely more over protective when you’ve got a bump showing, careful not to put the two of you in any harms way, making sure you’re always comfortable and forcing you to stay off your feet saying

“just get nice and comfy love, i’ve got it promise”

Throughout the birth of your baby he would be the support you’d need, holding your hand, towelling you with a cold cloth, feeding you ice chips and pressing kisses to your forehead

Nothing can beat the tears that spring from his eyes when you first hold your baby, they only intensify when he gets to hold them, letting them rest on his bare chest

“They’re so perfect…I-I can’t believe m’a father..”

When you’re able to go home, he’s ensuring you’re resting and helping in anyway I can, taking the first few night shifts so you can sleep, getting lots of love and cuddles in with his little love

Of course as they get older he’s the best dad, encouraging them to be whatever they want, whoever they want and ensuring they know he loves them no matter what

If it’s art, he’ll be at every showcase, football, every practice and every game; he’s your kids biggest cheerleader

He never wants your children to feel as though they don’t have a safe space with him always, no matter what the case

You and Harry both recognize how fortunate your family is so your sons/daughter grow up knowing that as well, you’ve never over spoiled or taught them not to have drive and work for what they want

Harry will have father daughter date nights with your daughter(s) once a week and he’ll do the same with your son(s) so they have time to bond and get out of the house

Just as he would for you, he would drop everything for his kids, no matter what, no questions asked

Harry is also the best confident for them if they ever feel overwhelmed or like they need a break from the craziness that their life definitely has due to Harry’s fame

Your kids adore Harry just as much as he does them, the bond he has with his children is one that is so special and will always be remembered by you and your sons/daughters

Of course he loves you just as much and never lets you forget it, whether it be dealing with post partum depression or just having an off day, he will be there to take your hand and guide you through every obstacle, every tear and ever emotional moment

Harry is really the best husband & dad imaginable🤍

a/n: this is bad i know, but i just feel like shit not posting so I hope this can hold everyone over until i get more done, im sorry🤍

[turcott3]

imperfect for you

brandt clarke x fem! reader

warnings?: cursing, kissing, smut, oral sex m receiving, unprotected sex (☝🏼 bad) and flufffffffff

masterlist

-

“baby i’m so proud of you!” you say loudly as he jogs toward you, arms open for a hug as he meets you, picking you up off the ground and spinning you around.

“thank you, you’re just my good luck charm.” brandt replies, pressing a few short kisses to your lips.

“my first road trip with you as a king and you fucking scored.” you say both of you pulled away, his hands remaining on your waist. you’d only been together about a month and you were falling really hard and really fast.

“can you come with me on all my road trips, reign or kings?” he asks with hopefulness in his eyes.

“yes of course.” you reply as he squeezes you again.

you couldn’t believe what the night had brought him. he had his first nhl goal and a game winner. you had to treat him some way, some kind of sweet reward. and you knew just the trick.

-

you arrived back at your hotel room a while ago and got into your pajamas, fortunately enough you were able to get a room in the same hotel so he could stay with you instead of a teammate which was deemed very necessary as of right now.

“come here, i’m so proud of you my love.” you say walking up to the ginger as he sat on the edge of the bed, wrapping your arms around him.

“thank you baby.” he giggles, his arms placed on the outside of your bare thighs.

“i gotta treat my big winner don’t i?” you ask looking down at him, a confused look striking his face.

“brandt.” you reply, trying to better hint at what you were saying.

“y/n.” he says back to you. you giggle and roll your eyes, your hands finding their way to his jaw, connecting your lips gently. naturally, he laid back as you climbed over his chest, attempting to deepen the kiss. you pull away, scanning his eyes for any sense of knowing where you were going.

low and behold he did, and he was nervous. as embarrassed as he was to tell, you he did. he’s a virgin. you knew this for a while and didn’t even care. that was never a deciding factor in your relationship. you then waited for the right time to love on your boy, which you were excited to do now.

“baby i-“

“brandt i know.” you say sitting on his hips. you could feel the bulge under his pajama pants but the feeling of it turned you on.

“but-“

“no buts brandt. i’m serious about this.” you say leaning over and pecking his lips, your hand reaching through your legs palming at his steadily growing cock.

“fuck.” he sighs.

“feels good huh?” you giggle.

“i’ve had a fucking handjob y/n, i’m not a child.” he half giggles, trying to keep some kind of composure.

“oh honey, sugar, sweetheart, darling, pumpkin. i’m gonna do a whole lot more than that. i am fucking you tonight, and we are gonna enjoy every fucking moment of it.” you said just inches away from his face, his cheeks in your hands already as you smashed your lips back together.

“and don’t be nervous, i can tell you’re nervous. i don’t want to intimidate you my love.” you say pulling away and sitting on your knees between his legs, running your hand up and down his thigh.

“i know but, how will i know if im doing good?”

“i will guide you through everything, just lay there and be gorgeous. which is very easy for you.” you giggle, inching your hand closer and closer to his clothed boner. you stop to remove your shirt, leaving you in only your underwear, given the shirt was the only other thing you slept in.

brandt had never seen you like this and he was already struggling with you clothed on his lap, you were scared he might get there on his own.

“y/n.” he whined, squinting his eyes shut.

“patience baby.” you say pulling down the waist band of his pants, pulling them all the way off his legs, his cock springing free of its constraints. you took his dick into your hand sizing him up. you knew he’d be proportional to his height but this was more than you expected. but not more than you were capable of working with. you leaned over him, spitting a large glob of saliva onto his cock, your hand working it in thoroughly.

“you’re so big brandt, why have you been hiding from me?” you say smirking at him as you finally leaned over, your tongue making contact with his tip, the most sensitive part, keeping your eyes locked harshly on his. you could feel his thigh muscles tighten under your hands as you bobbed up and down, a puddle of saliva forming at the base of his cock. you pull him out of your mouth with a pop, spit webbing from the corners of your mouth.

you wiped your face clean with your arm and you climb over him, reattaching your lips to his. his hands found their way into your hair rather quickly before you pulled away.

“okay b, are you ready?” you ask genuinely and he nods.

“alright.” you say taking him back into your hand, lining him up with your entrance, running his cock through your soaked folds.

“fuck.” he sighs out nervously.

“shh you’re okay.” you reply as you sank onto him, a moan ripping from your throat in doing so. when you bottomed out on him, you stopped, picking up his hands and placing them on your ass from around your thighs.

“you don’t need to do anything, j-just keep them there.” you say as you place your hands on his abdomen, pushing yourself up and sinking back down slowly, quiet moans leaving his mouth, his hands slightly gripping on your ass. you slowly sped up your pace, bouncing up and down steadily, quiet moans and curses leaving both of your mouths. his thick, throbbing cock was hitting you in all the right places, you just knew you had to keep it down.

“fuck brandt, you feel so good.” you whine, your hips circling around, his cock hitting every inch possible.

“god y/n.” he groans, his grip on your ass growing tighter.

“fuck me on you brandt, fuck me.” you moan out, patting on his hands, a lightbulb flicking on above his head. slowly, he began to pick you up and pull you back down with his arms, eventually finding the speed that was right for him.

“oh my fucking god.” he grunts as he speeds up, the sound of your skin slapping against his increasing in volume along with your moans.

“fuck i’m gonna cum.” you moan out as your core tightened harshly around him.

“y/n, oh. shit.” he grunts as he spills his climax into you, the line in your stomach snapping at the same time, an orgasm washing over you at the same time as his. you continued bouncing slowly up and down on his cock, creating a milky mess between you as you came down from your high, a slight giggle leaving your mouth.

sadly, you pulled him out of you with a wince, already missing the feeling of the boy, you’d now decided you were madly in love with, inside of you.

“god you were so good brandt.” you say, climbing off of him and laying down by his side.

“i feel like i can’t even say anything. that felt fucking incredible pretty girl. thank you for tonight.” he says, brushing hair out of your face.

“no thank you baby, congratulations.” you smile, kissing him passionately.

“first nhl goal for my baby.” you brag as he pulls you on top of his chest.

“i love you so fucking much.” he smiles as you bend over close to his face.

“i love you so much fucking more.” you reply, your lips finding their place back on his, where they’d always fit like a puzzle piece.

“i’m so lucky i was your first.” you giggle pulling away.

“and fucking last, are you kidding me?” he replies with a sarcastic scoff.

“i’m honored.” you blush as your head finds its way under his chin.

“i’m so proud of you bub.” you say quietly.

“thank you my love.” he says pressing a sweet kiss to your head before the two of you got up to shower, cleaning up the fluids you’d left behind, spending the rest of the night together, madly in love and never turning back.

[heartilywrites]

Helloooo <3

Can I request a Korra x f! firebender reader oneshot where they're already dating and having a tickle fight? Just cute wholesome fluff <33

Have a good day and thank you!! 💗

،، 𝓢ummer Nights ; Korra

request guide | masterlist

resume: just another normal night with your girlfriend.

content warning: pure domestic and fluff ; Korra x fem!reader ; r is a firebender !! ; no use of y/n

wc: 1.1k

a/n: HI <3 im sorry im taking so long with the requests, im getting stuck everytime i try to write:( but i got yours !!! love me some fluff fics for korra <3 tbh i don't really remember if the avatar could regulate body temperature at will, but for the sake of my mental health let's say they can– HOPE YOU ENJOY, THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING:D

“ She knows she's in control. Turns the heat up, then she lets me go.

A sigh of relief left your mouth after coming through the door and take off your shoes.

That day had been the most busy in the whole month, you were running everywhere and doing multiple tasks asked by your boss that by the time it was clock out you and a couple more of your coworkers could barely stand.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “That bad of a day, huh?” you heard your girlfriend's voice, a small giggle left your mouth. Korra appeared on your visual field smiling big, that same smile you loved to see on her, a small kiss was exchanged. “Hello, gorgeous, how are you?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Ugh, I feel like I could sleep on my feet.” was answered, both of your arms looked to hug her by the neck. “But I'm so happy to finally see you.”

The avatar's hands rested on your waist and pulled you closer to her, smiling again. “Yeah, you look bad.” she said in a joking manner, you rolled your eyes with a smirk. “I made dinner, fire lady, let's go eat.”

You loved how after a hard day, you could come home to Korra. A couple months before your first year anniversary, you had proposed to her the idea of moving together when she spent almost all week with you. It was the best idea you could've had, she always got home before you and most of the times she was waiting for you with either the dinner made or a gift. The times she usually get home late was when a mission or important task would extend, but she would always call the land-line and tell you that she would be late, they were keeping her captive against her will and how she was so close to escape just to be by your side, you always laugh and tell her to be careful, that you would wait her.

But your favorite thing to do with the other would one hundred percent be snuggle; when winter comes along, Korra loved to cuddle up to you even if she was able to keep her warmth to avoid freezing, she always looked for your warmth better since that meant being as close as humanly possible to you and if you love your personal space, Korra loved it more.

However there was the other two seasons where the absence of cold air was notorious and that was summer and spring. When summer showed its heated ambience in the city, you two usually slept in either light pijamas or directly in underwear, the air-conditioning would be on a perfect number for you two and Korra used to have low body temperature at will.

That night was the hottest summer night by far, so you two were laying down, still to not feel the warmth. But for you it was a bit more difficult, since being a firebender meant having a warmth to hot body temperature. It did had its perks, but you hated to feel warm when the air was also warm.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hey, human torch, I can feel your hotness here.” your girlfriend said, holding back a laugh. You turned to her with an offended grimace accompanied by a smile.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Well, excuse me, miss 'I can regulate my body temperature at will', some of us have only known feeling warm.” you defended yourself, now she did laugh shaking her head.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Keep your hot self on your side of the bed.” she poked your arms, now you giggled.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “What if I don't want to, chief?” your head turned to her with a raised eyebrow.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I won't have another option than use the whole force of justice on you.” she said back, raising an eyebrow your way.

With a mischievous smile you took a deep breath in and when you were about to exhale, a small flame came out your mouth. You were doing fire breathing to raise your temperature. Korra's mouth opened a little bit at her sight of you.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Listen, that was hot both literally and figuratively,” she confessed making you laugh again. “But you just challenged me and this deserves my vengeance.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Yeah? What are you going to do?” you asked; not even a second later, the avatar was on top of you, pinning you to the mattress by sitting on your waist and her hands started to tickle you on your sides.

Korra knew exactly what your great weakness was, it wasn’t any blind spot nor weak attack: you were so ticklish to any touch on your sides.

The room filled with loud laughs coming from you while she smiled big, she adored the way you laughed even if it was by tickles. Under her body, Korra saw how you were twisting by laughter, your hands tried to stopped her without any success since you were weak by the whole commotion.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Say you surrender!” she exclaimed loud enough for you to hear.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “N–No! Stop it!” you screamed back, your hands were able to catch her wrists, but that was it.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Surrender and I'll let you go!” Korra tried one more time, your eyes were tearing up already and your head started to hurt.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Fine! I... I surrender!” you finally said, she continued a moment more and it was sudden calm after that.

Your head and stomach hurt by all the laughs, your hands cleaned the tears on your cheeks and eyes. Taking deep breaths in to make up for the air that you couldn’t take well by the laugh, your eyes looked up to your girlfriend who was smiling with satisfaction.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “That was intense, dear spirits,” hoarsely, you took her hands to tangle your fingers together. “I thought I was going to pee myself.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “See? Next time consider your consequences.” she said giggling. Korra got closer to you, still on top. “You look beautiful underneath me.” a soft kiss was left on your lips, one of your hands rested on her cheek.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Don't try to distract me now with your flirting and horniness, I will get back at you for this.” you whispered on her lips with a seductive tone, her smile dropped. “Let's go to sleep, shall we? I'll let you have tonight.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “We should talk about this in the morning,” she tried to convince you while getting off you and hug your body to be the little spoon, you giggled while accomodating yourself on her arms to sleep. “I don’t think there's need for you to do anything, my love.”

[dnvrsmedia]

Petrichor

Ellie Williams x reader 

A rainy day in with Ellie 

slight Farmer!reader 

warnings: none! pure fluff 

AN: this is my first Ellie ficlit! I haven’t written in forever so im starting small. Farmer!reader x Ellie may turn into a mini series though so look for that :) Hope you enjoy!! Requests are open 

——————————

Petrichor.

(n). The pleasant smell that often accompanies rain after falling on dry soil. 

The delicate tapping upon the roof and distant sounds of the people of Jackson slowly come into the foreground of your mind. As you begin to awaken, the smell of fresh rain puts a smile on your face. The first rain of spring has arrived. Comfortable in your little cocoon, your mind wanders to the many exciting crops you hope to plant this season. 

Other than in your lover's arms, you find that your favorite place to be is with the earth. Hands digging into the soil, giving birth to an array of fruits, vegetables, and wheat. While staring off into space, you feel the spot beside you begin to rustle. The auburn haired girl with a face dusted with tiny constellations laid ever so peacefully next to you. A brighter smile adorned your face as Ellie opened her eyes with a deep groan. Today was her day off patrol in a very long time. You had to beg her to take a step back and have been doing so for months. Tackling the nagging voice in the back of her head that tells her that she needs to prove herself to someone has been no easy task. Although she will never admit it, you can read her like an open book. Ellie has never needed to say what was troubling her with you, she never had to explain herself to you, and that is what scared her the most. 

Your hand caresses her face in the ever so loving pattern your sweet girl has gotten used to. Ellie allows herself to soak up all the comfort you are giving her by leaning into your touch. Her heart warms as she stares back into your eyes. She looks for any sign of deceit or lies and yet she cannot find any. You look at her with the purest form of love she has ever been given in her nineteen years of living here on this terrible earth. When she looks into your eyes she remembers what Joel told her. She has found something worth fighting for. 

The overwhelming sense of love and warmth swarms her body. Now, Ellie has never been one to have her way with words. She has only been able to write them down in that ratty journal she protects with her life. She has always been one who shows instead of tells, and showing you is exactly what she does. A surprised yelp leaves your slightly chapped-from-sleep mouth as Ellie leaps to press her lips into yours. The kiss starts off slow, yet quickly heats up to something very passionate. Ellie throws her leg around your hips so that she is straddling your lap as the pace quickens. Her skilled mouth sucking and biting your swollen lips as her dominant hand massages your head. She lets your lips go with a ‘pop’. She can’t help but chuckle at your spaced out face from the very heated kiss you two have just shared. 

“Well, good morning to me.” You giggle. Ellie laughs back once again; a symphony of laughter you could never get tired of. Ellie pinches your hip and pecks your lips once more. 

“You know I love you, right?” She frowns. Her brows turn down as she nervously bites her lip in waiting for your response. You know she must have had a rough night coming back from a tough patrol. You caress one of her boxer clad legs as the other hand turns her chin to look into your eyes. 

“With your whole soul, Ellie Williams. I love you too.” You respond in the same serious tone. The flicker of doubt flashes in Ellie’s eye before she leans down to hold you in her arms. You know she has had a terrible time with trusting, especially with her heart. The stubborn girl tries so hard to keep these walls built up and yet, here you are before her, turning these walls to rubble within a blink of an eye. You will always be grateful for having a love as beautiful as yours. 

“You won't lose me, pretty girl. I'm yours forever ‘ya know?” you reassure the girl in your arms once more. That seems to make the girl squished onto your front happy as she plants kisses to your neck. The pair of you sit in comfortable silence for a few moments, enjoying the time you have with each other. You appreciate the slow moments that seem to come by rarer than a blue moon. 

The tip tapping of the rain comes to a lull just in time for the loud rumbling of your girlfriend's stomach to erupt. Ellie’s head shoots up from being tucked in your neck, her face as red as the cherry tomatoes you plan on harvesting. A huge bout of laughter escapes your mouth after a beat of silence. Ellie groans and (non committedly) smacks you on your bicep. 

“You’re an ass, you know that? A real dickhead!” She smiles knowing she means absolutely nothing of what she says. You move she so that you can rise from your bed with a dramatic roll of your eyes. 

“Would a dickhead be getting up to make the love of their life breakfast while they go get a shower?” You raise an eyebrow. Ellie smiles wide, she loves your cooking. 

“Yes, but you’re my dickhead, babe.” She stands off the bed, giving a polite smack to your behind. You let out a loud laugh with a shake of your head. 

“You are so lucky I love you. Now go shower, I want to stop by the farm before we meet up with Dina and Jesse.” You plant a kiss to her forehead and move to grab the ingredients for her favorite breakfast. You set your favorite record on the record player Tommy had found and gifted to you for your birthday and got started. 

A half an hour later, Ellie arises from the bathroom with sweats on and  her damp hair in a bun. You roll your eyes at the fact that she still doesn’t listen when you tell her not to go out with wet hair. She must sense that you are about to grill her for not allowing her hair to dry when she snakes her hands along your waist for a hug. 

“I don’t deserve you my beautiful girl, it smells amazing, thank you.” She kisses your neck and moves to sit at the small dining table in your apartment. You blush at the nickname and shake your head. You bring the food out for the two of you and take a seat in front of her. 

“Anything for you, babe.” 

[cleromancy]

while from the doylist perspective the stories are specifically propping tim up compared to jason by doing this... i am obviously still very interested in, and compelled by, jason canonically having a pretty high opinion of tim going all the way back to their first meeting.

(for the record, absolutely nothing in-universe justifies jason having this opinion of tim up until tim springs him from prison imo. he beat the snot out of tim in tt29 and it wasn't even hard and yet for some fucking reason he still walks away thinking tim is a Better Robin than he was? like... ok. sure. more thoughts on this later in the post tho)

so the new earth (post-crisis pre-reboot) continuity tim-jason interactions we have, in order, are batman 617-618 (from batman: hush, this ones a retcon and barely counts, its just jason holding tim hostage with a batarang to his throat; and you might also get a glimpse of jay doing this in batman annual 25 lol but its in the other room so im not checking), tt29 (published in the middle of uth coming out, lol), tt47 (countdown tie-in), robin 177 and 182-183 (post-countdown, immediately after jason dumps his red robin costume and one of tims rogues fishes it out of the dumpster to wear, correctly intuiting *for some reason* that this will get to tim), and......... sigh. stupid battle for the stupid cowl.

(and, since were talking about jasons perspective, theres also the picture wall in lost days. i dont know what issue it is because to me lost days is not "made up" of "issues", it is one book i simply open to devour whole whilst weeping.)

i think tt 29 is the interaction i find the most frustrating because... we have an idea what tt29 would have been like if it were good. bc we have ga01 69-72. and granted Tim is such a cocky little shit (affectionate) that jason simply. Would probably not have been able to scare him no matter what, lol... but imagine if this fucking issue had been good.

ok cutting 4 length

the problem with johns. .......the FIRST problem with johns. is that he regularly has interesting ideas and his execution of them completely falls flat. the second problem with johns is that he can't write dialogue. the third problem with johns is that it was really really important to him that you understood what a Talented And Special Boy tim is but instead of showing you that he just forced other characters to. tell you. over and over. jason is not johns' only victim in this quest. (and johns was also not the only perpetrator, as we will see when i get to fuckin fabnic.)

but like i said i *am* actually interested in the potential here, because i do think there is potential.

and i also think that--at least when you read into it as deeply as i do--jason is sympathetic in this issue. (don't give me "hes beating up a child" crap here btw. jason's only 2-3 years older, tims a peer to him, they could easily have gone to high school together if jason hadnt fuckin died.) johns deliberately shows us Jason hoping raven gets a reprieve from the nightmares, and he certainly was *trying* to show us how much it would fucking suck to be remembered as the Bad Robin, forgotten except to be a cautionary tale, what kind of things that would do to a person emotionally. AND he makes a point of highlighting Jason's loneliness and isolation as robin, and. tbh i dont think the issue itself rly blames Jason for that. (you most certainly do not gotta hand it to him though. under no circumstances do you gotta hand it to johns for anything.)

and while jason tearing off his clothes to reveal his party city knockoff robin costume--the better to beat you with, my dear--was, erm. falling mostly on the wrong side of the line btwn camp and cringe... i do think jason writing his own name in blood on the wall was right on the money, *especially* because it was obviously not tims blood. like, tim wasnt bleeding anywhere near enough for that. it was either fake blood or jason prepped his own beforehand for them to DNA test--but also if they saw it before they saw tim, to make them fear for tims life, as a reminder of the risks theyre dealing with here.

oh but i was planning on talking specifically about like. what Jason might actually have seen in tim that left him with a positive impression. as-written? kinda nothing. lmao. or well the one thing imo is this

just kidding i couldn't find the panelz somehow despite posting them literally like yesterday and i ran into this lol:

>:| got distracted again. by this.

anyway i give up ill add the pics later. but its the exchange where jason has *decisively* won the fight, tims crumpled on the floor concussed and winded, and jason demands if tim *really* thinks he was good enough to tail bruce unnoticed for weeks.

and tim says "yes." hes beat up enough he can barely talk but there's still no hesitation whatsoever. and jason is *really* down on himself in this issue--he calls himself a failure, he feels like no one cared about his death, he feels unremembered. and jasons stated intentions here were to get the measure of tim but i also stand by the interpretation that he wanted to warn tim off of the sidekick gig, to remind him you uh. you have to be dick fucking grayson to survive it. (i dont believe either of them mentions him by name, but hey, dicks shadow is big enough for the both of them.)

i think what jason finds worthy of respect here--and, on top of that, intriguing enough that in robin 177 he entreats tim to join him--is the confidence, and also? at absolutely no point does tim believe jason is there to kill him. not a fuckin high bar, i know, but like i said i do think jason had *planned* to try and scare tim off (just also mega derailed himself by accident bc he got too in his feelings about the statue room 🥺), and... its not a bar he would have expected Tim to clear, is all im saying. particularly because while it is *possible* this took place in the middle of uth (tt 29 was released in november 05, between batman 646 and 647, which is the part where slade shows up bc black mask hired him to take jason out, so tt29 couldnt have happened in the middle of those two specific issues, but there are several other points at which jason could have taken a break in menacing gotham to fly to san Francisco), with Jason talking so negatively about himself i have to assume this is after the end of uth.

(you might be able to place this in the in-universe chronology by if/when teen titans mentions chemo dropping on bludhaven, which happens immediately before the bruce-jason-joker final showdown. however i dont feel like poking around for that or any other details to anchor tt29 to the other events happening at the time rn.)

i just also think so much of what jasons doing in this issue is like--he doesn't know *what* hes there to do. he had a plan and hes kinda fumbling it, not because tim is being especially resourceful but because jasons still licking his emotional wounds from uth, and titans tower is bringing up ones i dont think he ever realized hadnt healed. hes feeling everything at once. hes angry and hurt and full of self loathing but i think by the time tim simply says "yes," jason hits the stage of just being... burnt out. done lashing out, fucking tired, just wants to go home, if he can ever find it.

but i do think that "yes" would stick in his craw for a long time afterwards.

tt47: tim kicks jason in the nuts and pretty much declares them even for tt29 lolol. you may have seen my post about how jason only *sometimes* wears armor in countdown--hes drawn in the armored turtleneck and tac pants in tt47, but there are times in countdown hes out there fighting aliens and metas and shit in his jacket, a *t-shirt,* and *jeans.* just a squishy regular degular baseline human doing this and no one ever brings it up. but anyway. do i think tim would have seen jason wearing the equivalent of civvies plus a domino mask, narrow in on that, and immediately decide to kick him in the balls? i sure do. do i also think that this would make him rise in jasons estimation?

yeah. yeah, i really do. lol

anyway after this! after this is jasons briefish world-hopping stint as red robin saving the universe being a big damn hero and getting paid dust by everyone around him, in countdown; i think i mentioned before in this post that at the end he abandons the red robin suit in a dumpster, where it gets picked up by one of tims rogues. this storyline sucks and fabnic is a hack unfortunately. the rogue did it bc he wants tims attention or whatever. not important except for how irritating it is that fabnic fumbled a concept this juicy (tim inheriting and eventually purposely adopting The Bad Robin Mantle) which is also further fumbled by stupid battle for the stupid cowl, and the people who it falls to to salvage it are. johns again, in adventure comics 3, and yost, who is a better writer than johns or fabnic but not by like a huge margin.

and while i do think tim having a bad opinion of jason at this point was inevitable i find it so frustrating the way it was executed... like so often with Bad Tim Writing and also fuckin DC Editorial's Jason Slander Agenda shit it wasn't because in-universe thats how the characters would feel, the writer was using tim as a mouthpiece, and jasons competence and things he cares about arent taken seriously... BUT WHATEVER the point is that when Tim goes to stop Jason from his villainous scheme to reduce crime or whatevr jason has such a high opinion of him that he asks tim to join him:

and jasons loneliness, his desperation to be heard, is such a theme for him in the new earth/post crisis era and i wish it had been. Handled better lol are you noticig a theme here its that Jason has been written badly. (tim too, tbh.) and when tim says no jasons dejected but unsurprised acceptance breaks my heart. but to me the most interesting part of jasons appearance at the end of tims robin series is in 182, when tim--for absolutely no good reason--gives jason the means to break out of prison.

he says something about how its what Bruce would have wanted, but for. reasons i wont get too deeply into rn, that absolutely does not hold water.

anyway i just think there's no way jason doesn't start crushing on tim at least a little at this point. shrug.

bftc sucks and i dont want to look at it rn. but its also got examples of jasons high opinion of tim. and also im mad at it bc both countdown AND his appearances in robin feel like they could have been taking jason to a like. more of an antihero type of role and then we get bftc and morrison and its kind of. fucking hard to get jason anywhere near back on track after that for those of us who still like playibg in the post-crisis pre-reboot sandbox. and i wouldnt be mad about that if bftc had been good bc Jason absolutely does make an incredibly interesting and effective and tragic antagonist when handled well but well. he wasnt. and i have no idea what bftc would.have even been like if it was good bc it was so off the wall and dumb and assassinated actually *everyones* characters. so.

anyway

im just going to roll back to robin 183 now

jasons referring to the damage tim got when he got a little bit exploded in 180, this pretty nasty burn on the back of his head, which was actually why he wore jasons RR cowl for the first time (he was still robin). but what you do see here--aside from Tims narration which puts him *firmly* on the side of obnoxiously arrogant and judgmental instead of charmingly cocky in this issue, to my estimation, thanks for nothing fabnic--is the two of them on firmly cordial terms. jason still thinks more highly than tim does of him, but theyre asking each other about their injuries... tim caring about the wellbeing of people he doesn't even like is par for the course with him, ofc, but once again Jason doesn't really get that a whole lot. constantly haunted by this panel from countdown btw:

does he though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here is another jaytim preboot canon interactions post from a few months ago with some more thoughts, some repeated lol.

anyway. incoherent rambling complete for now. however. jaytim time is all the time 👍 i will revisit this.

[justin-chapmanswers]

hi justin! im an older fan here, been watching since i wasssss..... 8? 9? old enough to see s2e8 come out, thats for sure! i fell behind with ii3 though, stopped keeping up past episode 4 due to... well, i dont remember, haha... anyways, i met a newer fan IRL today and they convinced me to get caught up! so i did. In one day. since its been a while, i forgot that doing that would be an emotional roller-coaster and it Was.

As im sending this im Fresh out of the experience so that being said this is gonna be so incomprehensible

balloon and nickel especially. i remember coming home from school excited to see "kick the bucket part 2" drop and i was DEVASTATED. i really loved suitcase, and the alliance, and balloon and dearly wished that they could all get along as a kid! seeing balloon and nickels relationship develop in ii3, especially now that im older and can understand things clearly, was refreshing and interesting to watch! but that suitcase appearance.... i dont even know what to say. It was executed so well, it was the perfect punch in the gut. Im excited to see where these two go from this point, especially with what bot told them. SPEAKING of which!

Bot. Bot bot bot. ohhhhh my gosh bot. im. AUGH. Ok sooo... paintbrush kinda was my nonbinary awakening! so seeing bots identity develop, seeing their relationship with test tube develop, with a queer-coded narrative unfolding, it had me screaming into my hands a lot!!! i literally screamed and pointed at their little drawing when i saw their pronouns! it was sad to see them go, but man, you guys manage to put me back together with just two words from test tube. "It's... you." oh, to say so much by saying so little! i hope to see more from the two of them in side content like the comics, and hopefully fan too!

tl;dr how does it feel knowing you made the most emotionally destructive episode an episode with a cartoony spring as a cereal mascot as the main antagonist. good job and thank you by the way

Thank you for the super super super sweet message!!!! So glad that you've been able to connect with PB and Bot, they mean a lot to me, as well! Good news is, I don't think we're done with any of the contestants 100% quite yet, more adventures to come! :D

And some of my favorite kinds of episodes are the ones that mesh hyper-silly and hyper-dramatic. Always so excited to see them come together in cases like these! Keep ooooon springin'!