#so ill do it monday/tuesday
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new brahim fic pls read it and tell me what u think xoxoxo love u all <33333
#sol talks#ALSO RODRYGO SMAU ANON I SEE YOU#gonna be real busy for the weekend#so ill do it monday/tuesday#love u
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cant fucking wait for winter break tbh
#cat's rambles#just gotta get through the last two weeks oughhgghg#for art i have to finish paper macheing so thats simple ?#for english i have to FINISH WRITING THAT PAPER. FUCKK. n read the book !!!#for c perioud i have to idk man. test on thrusday. same day as paper due fuckk. also i have to finish translating the script#n i think we're finishing unit 4 these two weeks too ?#math we have test nextt wednesday n we gota get throguh these two packets + i gotta do that hw. yeahh auhg#history we are speeding through the elctures n notes n i have the test on thursday next week#f perioud lock in on the english paper n idk what else we're doing actually we might be starting something new?? that class is Not put toge#her well#uhh science test TOMRORWO. FUCKKK. and uh idk what we're doing next so ill have to lock in for that#film i kust. gotta finish those two voice overs edit those clips into place n work on finishing with the editing. due on ehhhh turesday?#okay so due dates for personal reference: tomorrow is science quiz. quiz for c n paper for eng. due thurs. friday currently idk#monday i dont thinks theres anythign? tuesday film project due. wednesday math test n hw due. thurs history test day fri nothing i think!!#ok yeah thats it thnk you for reading this if you did
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luke my boy why are you so hard to draw
#justewips#i like his head it's. the rest of him i don't like#it's fine !!!! i can just. crop it or something if it doesnt improve ....#wanted to do a bit more but its like. 4am so i shoukd try sleep probablt !#i guess i have like. almost 2 days to finish this assuming i post it late on monday ...#i Should be able to finish it since i already did the flora one + i want this to look. Similar . hm#if i dont finish it for monday ill judt post it on tuesday and pretend triton tuesday is a thing ^_^#wil talks
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#life update#so i had a first round interview for a teaching job#it was with the school i worked for last year as a long term sub/building sub#i knew both of the people interviewing me which was nice and knew a lot about the school#i want to be hopeful because the school has a good track record of employing people who do what i did#im just nervous#its a new principal#so he could want things a lot different than they were#also because the last principal loved me for stepping up into the job i took#fingers crossed#hopefully i get a call on monday or tuesday but ill probably be an anxious wreck till then#love yall#thanks for reading
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i want to pick a specific day to be my Weekly Cafe Day but i haven't landed on one yet.......
#i wanna go today which is why im thinking about it#they don't open til 12 bc it's sunday but still#i think its working tho bc i wanna write which is why i wanna go#which was!! the plan all along!!!#to make it so i write when im there!!!#but i think either monday or tuesday will be my OFFICIAL day to go#bc i cant do wednesday since thats trivia#and i think i prefer earlier in the week just bc towards the end of the week i will have less energy#and thus be more likely to try and skip it since ill be tired#but anyway >:D#shh ac
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had an amazing interview yesterday.... was told I'd know by Monday.... but it's alleged they DRUG TEST and I just bought 6 packs of weed edibles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#AND!!!!! AND!!!!!! IVE GOT THE HOUSE TO MYSELF FOR A SOLID WEEK!!!!!!!#i guess ill know monday if i can get high that night or tuesday but like.... i want to have one now lmao#like.... the paper i signed was more worried about being drunk on the jo#and OBVIOUSLY i wouldnt show up to my folder customer service job high off my ass..... but that thc can stay in your system for awhilw#i had one last nigbt tk celebrate the interview so idk if im even in the clear to begin with#and like.... i told them my start date would ve the 20th & im out of town vefore that so the goal is like.... they go to achedule#and we have to schedule it way out so i have time to like.....not worry & get my pee clean#like.... it wouldnt matter so much if my parents werent LEAVING this E N T I R E week... like.... this is MY vacatioj too!!!!!#and i just bought it after a horrid week 😭😭😭😭😭 worked my ass of it for it in order to relax this week#like#i know i shouldnt be dependent on it and im really trying not to ve#but the anti-anxiety relaxing of it all helps so much#and im reeeeeally not the biggest fan of drinking....i pee too much 😭😭😭😭😭 ironically 😭😭😭😭😭😭#like.... at this point.... its like..... do i care about getting this job more than i care about letting my brain and body relax this week#i always put myself first & listen to my heart & soul to dictate what to do#but my mind just keeps thinking about getting that failed drug test back and going back to the job hunt#but im still IN the job hi t#*hunt#AND HERES THE THING!!!! walking around that damn office.... seeing what people were wearing.....#its professional but i know damn well theres people in there smoking weed#like.... 25 of the 50 employees i saw showed up in casual loungepants these people are not prestigious#and like.... the paper i signed.... they didnt even edit to include the company name????#it kept saying “the Company will not like you to drink on the clock and assumes you will not get behind company vechiles drunk either”#like.... tooooootally understandable i just wanna eat some edibles before im an official employee of your folder business my loves#let me have a 50mg and zone out for the night while im finally free from all these losers..... PLEASE#anyways......personal problems that my brain needs to expel so it doesnt tumble all around for the next few houes#WHILE I DOORDASH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck me#like..... i got this interview through indeed ill just keep going till i cant if it fails
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#my fault for saying yes technically but my manager asked if i can come in today bc someone called out#i was asking about my schedule and she was like 'im adding you to monday' (i was only scheduled tomorrow and tuesday)#and when i asked 'so im not coming in today right?' bc nothing about that was mentioned she said we'll see what my hours#were for the past week#so#guess im going into work :')#as stated my fault for saying yes but in my mind i 1) could have just not and assumed i wouldnt be scheduled#2) the more hours i work rn the more im paid AND it makes up for how much less ill be paid come august (ill only be able to work a certain#number of hours) and 3) i technically didnt have plans today (i had 1 but its a plan that could be any day of the week)#so im just gonna double check w my manager later that the rest of my week is set/im not gonna be coming in after tuesday#bc i would like to plan the rest of my week and do stuff w family as well as just. yknow. personal projects#anYWHO#my period's also supposed to be soon so thats another factor to my not wanting to work but that one is an easy one to ignore lol#amber's shit you can ignore
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#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
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NEW HBOMBERGUY VIDEO IS 4 HOURS... DIOS MIO
#ensposts#ill try n watch it..... maybe monday..... i have to go out to my folks n do laundry so. either monday or tuesday
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did some good progress on my wizard robe today
#wind howls#it took me a while to look for a pattern. every single result was either costly or hp related and i wanted neither#in the end i threw caution to the wind and just kinda. made it up as i went#im happy to report that it went pretty well !#and i made a really good hood for my robe ! from scratch ! no pattern ! and its lined and hemmed#and im Very proud of it :3#i wont be able to work on it tomorrow... but ill be working on it this weekend. ill add the hems to the sleeves and robe before-#i connect the side seams. itll look clean hopefully.... but i do have to trim the bottom of the robe first. its far too long lol#ill also add a middle panel thats yellow bc thats my secondary color :) then ill make the wizard hat#and if i have time left... ill add constellations and stars all around the robe. ideally sewn. if not ill either not do it or paint them on#but i also have an animation to finish and hand in by monday so i really should work on that first. thats a priority#and after all. halloween is on tuesday and i only have class at 2 pm#so if i wake up early then i can add more details and whatnot. i got this. im happy !!
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hit a wall. want to do nothing. still have one (1) thing to do
#might push it off til wednesday...#monday and tuesday are packed#and its really not on a time/schedule#urgh but im feeling so guiiiilty#okay well guilt isnt generally a usefull emotion esp when pushing this off does no harm#and im working on accepting when my adhd enforces its limits#okay. okay. its fine ill do it wednesday
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major bracket masterpost
after the first, second, and third rounds, we're moving onto the last stage before the final round! (after this will be a revival round for contestants to re-enter the tournament in the semifinals. there are some rules but those will be explained later! the locked tomb is guaranteed a slot)
anders vs. team not afraid
team charlie pc vs. team lets go lesbians
hollow knight vs. five pebbles
four gays in a trenchcoat vs. yoo joonghyuk and team dokja
#*calculating* so im releasing this on sunday so polls should be out... tuesday?#maybe monday if i make the images fast enough#augh so nervous i hope things go well.......#masterpost#(un)godly trauma#major bracket#major bracket masterpost#ill be doing four major bracket#and then two days later four minor bracket
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sleepy
#and my tummy hurts :(#ate too much dinner. and i miss my bf#life is just so hard for me </3#literally its ONE (1) day. its annoying tho bc i get back late monday night and try to take a nap so i can see him for a minute before i#actually go to bed then wake up early tuesday. god i cant wait to be done w class#maybe then ill work [redacted] tues/thurs to make some extra money and keep my routine....... as much as i do not want to work there anymor#+ see my bf more. and also sleep in#idk much to think about but not right now <3 anyway im sleepy even tho work wasnt too busy w the rain and shit. happy sunday#talk tag
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Forever upset about the reality that being in uni and working and a being in a very intensive band means i am always gonna be working on >6 hrs of sleep
#im like oughh ill go to sleep early tonight so im ready to study more tomorrow#and then tonight comes and i just finished reading my chapter#no practice no memorization nothing#and its already like#6 hrs till i gotta get up and do it again#and its like!! i have a paper due friday#i have a performance on saturday and rehearsal all day sat/sun (like actually 9am-9pm)#and then midterms on monday and tuesday!!#who has the time???#also an audition on saturday but like#im considering not doing it cause of how fucking busy i am
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The way im actually worried pipoca might become my dad's bc of my job but every time I get home he sleeps with me and follows me around everywhere🥺🥰
#im only away monday and tuesday i get back here ln wednesday night but ive been doing a lot of different stuff across the state#on*#so some weeks i have to be gone for longer and now im gonna try to get a new job but that might kill how easy it would be go to my phd#classes (if i get in) but itd get me enough money to buy a car#im getting back to sleep manifesting ill get 10 hours of sleep total
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Ugh
Have to start packing
#which means going through all my things#and deciding what to get rid of#definitely taking the friday before we move off and the following tuesday (we're moving on a monday so i was gonna take that off regardless)#that way i have time to finish packing and then unpacking#i wish we had more time. between getting the keys and moving in so i could paint my room tho#but my dads friends wanna rent our current place and my parents told them they could move in october 1st#and my mom wants to have that week between us moving out and them moving in to get this place cleaned up#so we gotta gtfo that weekend lol#ill just have to paint this winter or next spring or something#its just gonna be a lil annoying cuz ill have to move all my stuff out to do it#but oh well
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