#so if you notice any errors

[papayascookie]

So I heard requests are open! Could I possibly have some hcs for madeleine cookie x !gender neutral !age regressor reader x espresso cookie? If you aren't okay with age regression, that's okay!! 🎀🩷

Hi! Sorry this took a bit! I've never written age regression before, but it was interesting to look into! I've, like, read stuff about it before, but writing it was a new experience entirely, especially for two characters I'm not all that into. It was super fun and enlightening, thank you!

... Also got wrapped up in the Sims 4. My bad!

I assume you meant romantic (obviously not specifically for the agere thing, just like in general) so I did write it as such, but it's kept very subtle in case. It's not even the focus, so don't worry. I hope this is okay!

Espresso Cookie x Age Regressor! Reader x Madeleine Cookie

When you started dating Espresso and Madeleine, you’d never even thought about mentioning the whole age regression thing. At least, not at first.

… Maybe you’d just forgotten, until it actually happens, albeit involuntarily. It might happen one day, if you’re overwhelmed or shut down from sensory overload, or as the result of a panic attack.

The two are confused, but still willing to help. It’s not that they’re unaccepting, just a little confused the first time around.

Once everything returns to normal and the dust settles, you realise you’ll likely have to come out about the whole thing. It’s a little scary, and surely they’d…

…. But no! Espresso had already started researching such a thing after the first time. He’s efficient, after all. Madeleine isn’t by any means dumb, but he’s a little bad with social cues I’d like to believe, so Espresso has to clue him in.

So next time it happens, voluntary or involuntary, they’re prepared. When you’re little, Espresso will wrap his cape around you like a blanket. It’s an odd amount of tenderness for him, really. If you’re overwhelmed, he’s likely the one you go to for soothing words and slow hugs.

… Madeleine, on the other hand, is all dramatics and sweeping motions, telling stories and recalling tales. Maybe they’re a bit exaggerated, but with how you laugh and smile and grown visibly warmer at his sweeping motions and funny voices, it’s definitely the right thing.

Like, look at Madeleine and tell me this man wouldn’t be sick at those library things where you read to kids. He’d put on little voices and do huge motions.

If Espresso reads to you, it’s visibly calmer with less dramatics. Like, far less. Probably better for bedtime stories and such, in a way.

Madeleine will spoil you rotten, whether it’s toys or literally anything else you need. Espresso in comparison is a bit more sensitive to your more subtle needs, making sure everything is perfect for you to process your feelings, however big and overwhelming.

For two people with a bit of a ‘rivalry’, albeit a loving one given the nature of your relationship, the two function like a well-oiled machine.

[citricacidprince]

can you draw candy as fiddleford. plz plz plz OuO

Oh believe me I have,,, SO MUCH ART of Candy as Fiddleford she literally drives me wild

Take this massive dump of art of young Candy and Dipper because they made lose my mind in the best way possible 💥💛💥

EDIT: A kind soul named DastardlyWLW decoded all the codes in the replies because I was an idiot who forgot to write down all the codes before I merged my layers, so if you wanna know what the codes all say just look in the replies and thank them for saving my sorry ass 💥💛💥💛💥

[r0sy-maple-m0th]

ever after academy

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

(note; you dont need to have watched ever after high to understand this, its not going to be an exact clone of eah, just inspired! as long as you know grimms fairytales, you should be able to understand this stuff. i do highly reccommend the show if you havent seen it though :>)

R E B E L S

Lenore — Daughter of the Evil Queen, Lenore accidentally finds herself as some sort of leader to the Rebels after publicly denying her horrid destiny to poison the one she's not meant to love.

Duke — Son of the Dark Fairy, Duke doesn't care much for his destiny, choosing to ignore it entirely as he much prefers to use his talents for entertainment.

Pluto — Son of the Chesire Cat, Pluto often finds himself falling into the background and going unnoticed. That is, until his roommate casts him aside and he stumbles upon a place he can finally be himself without worry; his home with the Rebels.

Eulalie — Daughter of the Mad Hatter, Eulalie is often looked down upon and treated as if she were a child simply because of her unique understanding of the world. She hopes that her new friends, the Rebels, will be able to understand her better.

Berenice — Daughter of Little Red Riding Hood, Berenice would consider herself to be pretty outspoken, refusing to let anyones status get in the way of what they deserve to hear. ((i wasn't going to add notes here, i feel like it kills the immersion, BUT I GENUINELY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO WRITE FOR HER INTRO. i feel like i know nothing about her jfshjf))

R O Y B E L

Morella — Daughter of Goldilocks, Morella is often pulled between groups. Shes incredibily loyal to all of her friends, but her not-quite-royal not-quite-rebel lineage leads her to questioning with who she truly belongs.

R O Y A L S

Annabel Lee — Daughter of Snow White, Annabel Lee, being the future queen means that eyes are always on her, and so she must constantly maintain her perfect porcelain persona. Its for this reason that she finds herself naturally adopting the role of leader for the Royals.

Prospero — Son of Prince Charming, Prospero is the most eligible bachelor in all of Ever After Academy-- much to his chagrin. To avoid the unwanted attention without disregarding his destiny, he agrees to a mutually beneficial fake-relationship with his best friend Annabel.

Ada — Daughter of the Swan Queen, Ada is rather discontent with her destiny, desiring to be more like the fairytale pioneers she'd grown up adoring. If there was any way for her to be percieved as more than she is, she'd do it in a heartbeat.

Montresor — Son of the Queen of Hearts, Montresor is not what most would consider a 'typical royal', his callous personality leading many to first believe him to be a rebel. The Wonderland students say he gets it from his mother.

Will — Son of Sleeping Beauty, Will knows he isn't what was intended for his destiny, and if hes being honest with himself, he doesn't even really want it. He'd much prefer to live his own life while one of his many sisters got to follow in their mothers footsteps instead.

EAH inspiration and explanations below the cut lmk your thoughts + if youd do anything differently! im still open to changing things if any better ideas come up :>

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

gender is a social construct, dont mind the fact everyone but prospero is based on a girl 😭😭there wasnt a whole lot of male characters to pick from, and the ones that were there didn't suit anyone ;p

ALSOO LAST QUICK NOTE! i know that some characters would definetely suit others best (ex. like montresor couldve easily been someone like faybelle or courtly, but i ended up picking lizzie instead), HOWEVER i really wanted their status as a royal/rebel to match the nevermore groups. so the misfits are all rebels, and the posh gang, i forget what they get called lol, are all royals even if logically montresor should be a rebel because he is a horrific human being!! oh and ofc morella is stuck in the middle, being both royal and rebel.

OKAY END OF TANGENT, heres my thought process;

Lenore — Raven Queen; i dont think i need to explain this one, it just felt right. plus she already has tons of raven imagery + even had a pet dragon named nevermore! it was too perfect lol

Duke — Faybelle Thorn; struggled a bit with him, but ended on faybelle since it suits him being a magician. hes definetely not as mean as her unless its warranted, we all know he has a mean streak, cough attempted to murder annabel, cough cough. but yeah, i think the misfit magician/fairy vibe works.

Pluto — Kitty Chesire; between the cat motif, gloomier color pallete, as well as the ability to disappear and go unnoticed, i thought this worked as a nice parallel!

Eulalie — Madeline Hatter; its the weird girl aura to be completely honest lmfao. eulalie definetely isnt as mad as maddie, but you cant tell me they wouldnt be best friends. and the color schemes arent a complete match, but i think maddies colors would look SO good on eula!

Berenice — Cerise Hood; honestly. this was mostly vibes, i think she'd look good with a red cape LOL. but it also works in the sense that shes kind of a tomboyish free spirit. lmk your thoughts on if she should be half wolf like cerise is, because i actually dunno if we should keep that in the au ;p

Morella — Blondie Locks; there were probably hundreds of better choices, but i was stumped. i needed someone that was both a royal and rebel, and the only options i could think of were blondie and poppy. between the two blondie was a better choice, morella doesnt have much of a rapunzel vibe.

Annabel Lee — Apple White; same thing as lenore, do i really gotta explain this one?😭 visually and storywise it just works so perfectly! theyre both the top of their class, both the leader of their respective groups, ANDD they both pretend to be straight. your honor i rest my case

Prospero — Daring Charming; so like. prospero is very much not daring-esque. like at all lmfao. and im aware of that! but it works in the sense that he'd be annabels 'prince' and a lot of people fawn over him (much to his disliking, aroace rep lets gooo).

Ada — Duchess Swan; this was one of the original ideas that sparked this whole au cause WOW THEYRE SIMILAR! both of them desire to be higher class than they really are, and are willing to change the way they behave to reflect that. ada probably wouldnt try to steal destinies in this au, but she definetely would get buddy-buddy with all of the more popular royals (which would be why she falls so hard for prospero)

Montresor — Lizzie Hearts; THIS ONE. THIS WAS TOUGH. im still not 100% sure if this was the right choice, but its a start! basically the thought process was lizzie is a royal who could still be perceived as cruel. add in the mommy issues (this queen of hearts would be a worse parent than lizzies) and firey red color scheme, it felt like the best choice for him. i did consider sparrow hood at one point but lowkey i dont think im ready for that combination LOL. which is fine cause i forgot sparrow was a rebel and that makes the whole idea fall apart, sigh

Will — Briar Beauty; this actually started as a joke since he sleeps through classes, but then it kind of grew on me lmao. it also works in the sense that theyre both unsatisfied with the life they lived/the life they need to live. originally he was going to be alistair wonderland, since theyre both kind of just normal guys, but i feel like theres less story potentional with that idea. so im sticking with briar unless someone convinces me otherwise ;p

[hybridzizi]

You Are Probably Magnesium Deficient

About a year ago, I started supplementing magnesium. It's been literally life changing. I've been working on a lot of issues with my health – asthma, migraines, fibromyalgia – but if I could only keep one fix I think it would be this one. 

(I'm glad I don't have to actually pick. You can pry my migraine medications out of my cold, dead hands.)

I had previously tried supplementing magnesium as a migraine treatment. My doctor suggested I try Preventa, which contains 60mg magnesium. I took it for several months and didn't notice any improvement, so I discontinued it. 

A year ago, my brother reported that he'd been supplementing magnesium and it had improved several issues that I also had. I give my family's health recommendations a lot of extra weight because they're very smart and because I figure their bodies are closer to mine so things that work for them are more likely to work for me. I asked him exactly what he was doing – taking 500mg every day for at least a few weeks – and copied it exactly. 

Nothing happened for about a week and a half. Then, I woke up and discovered that my muscles were capable of relaxing. Exercise became pleasant. I stopped clenching my jaw. My blood pressure monitor stopped warning me that it had detected an arrhythmia that my doctors could never seem to find.

So here's what I've learned since: 

Electrolytes include calcium, sodium, potassium, and magnesium. There are others. I don’t care about them right now. Your body uses calcium, sodium, and potassium to tense your muscles and magnesium to relax them. 

You want 186-2300mg sodium per day. The average American gets about 3300mg. Side effects of insufficient sodium include nausea, headache, fatigue, seizures, muscle spasms, and coma. Side effects of too much sodium include muscle weakness, thirst, irritability, lethargy, and seizures. Table salt is a good source of sodium, containing 2400mg per teaspoon.

You want about 1000mg calcium per day. The average American gets about 1029mg. Side effects of insufficient calcium include osteoporosis, kidney stones, hypertension, stroke, and insulin resistance. Excess calcium is mostly dealt with by the kidneys (pages 2-4). Milk is a good source of calcium, containing 240mg per 400mL.

You want about 3000mg potassium per day. The average American gets about 2668mg. Your kidneys will mostly deal with excess potassium, but if they fail side effects include numbness, tingling, nausea, trouble breathing, chest pain, and heart palpitations. Side effects of insufficient potassium include constipation, fatigue, heart palpitations, muscle spasms, tingling, muscle cramps, low blood pressure, and thirst. I’m not totally sure about good sources of potassium?  Like the best source on this list is dried apricots but you would need to eat like 2 cups of them to get enough potassium and that sounds like so many apricots. Bananas are pretty mediocre sources of potassium with 422mg per. Potassium supplements only provide about 99mg, or 3% of your recommended daily intake. Still, we seem to be getting pretty close somehow? Like add in that banana and you’re golden. I dunno. Moving on. 

You want about 400mg magnesium per day. The average American gets “only approximately 50% of that.” Side effects of insufficient magnesium include hypertension, arrhythmias, heart disease, and diabetes (pages 5-6). Side effects of too much magnesium include diarrhea – which gets framed as a positive (“reduces constipation”) as often as not and is presumably not severe – and that’s about it unless you have kidney problems. Peanut butter and black beans are frequently recommended sources of magnesium, containing 49mg per 2Tbsp and 60mg per half cup, respectively.

To put it another way, you would need to eat about 16Tbsp of peanut butter a day to get enough magnesium. That's a lot of peanut butter.

Your drinking water can provide up to 30% of your magnesium intake – and, historically, often has. When tap water has a lot of minerals, we call it “hard water.” We don’t generally like hard water, so we soften it, which takes out the magnesium (and calcium). 

You're probably magnesium deficient.

If you want to repair this deficiency, you will probably need to supplement steadily for a few weeks before you notice a difference. I recommend magnesium citrate, which dissolves in water and has a pretty subtle taste. Not that you have to dissolve it in water. I've mixed it in smoothies and taken it in capsules and added it to my water bottle – whatever is most convenient for the day I have planned. It all works fine.

[lazylittledragon]

Your novel excerpts are incredible and I would love to see more. The warmth and care you put into it shines through and I just want more of it!

On a side note, incredibly unfair that you can draw AND write so masterfully. A true power house, haha.

aaAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH :'DDD

as a treat you can have some more akdffd

if the main plot is 'Fantasy Murder Mystery' then the biggest subplot is probably 'Snow is Not Doing Well'

[fallen-exorcist]

Faceless Vaggie is not real, she can't hurt you

Faceless Vaggie:

(animation error I noticed today😭)

[momentomori24]

Keiji is a character that I'm pretty sure every one of us can recognize is an absolute weirdo (ok maybe some are too hard on copium for the "weirdo" part) and sketchy as hell, but thinking about everything he's done it really feels like he's so much shady and ruthless than we give him credit for. So here's me bulletpointing some the moments that I haven't seen too many talk about, a little theory throwing his status into question and addressing the massive elephant in the room that almost everyone refuses to acknowledge. If there's something else you feel I missed or wanted to evaluate on, do leave it in the comments.

[Also, disclaimer: I will be discussing Keiji and Sara in a romantic light near the end of this post, so if that makes you uncomfortable please proceed with caution or skip entirely. This should go without saying but for my own sake I will say it anyway-- No, I do not condone their relationship in real life. No, this is not meant to be "shippy" or endorsement of any kind. This will simply be pointing out their dynamic as another example to prove the whole point of this rant. But if someone else does ship them that's totally fine. Fiction doesn't equal reality and if you harass a real person over fictional characters you will not see the light of heaven. Be civil, please and thank you. My block button is rated E for Everyone and if anyone decides to ignore the warnings and be an asshole I won't hesitate to use it. Thanks for listening. Disclaimer over.]

*Being a murderer.

I feel like I should start with the most obvious and undeniable. I don't think this is debatable to anyone here. Mr. Policeman may have been an accident and kinda confirmed by Midori to have been set up, but he still shot and killed an unarmed man in a moment of panic and recklessness. Even putting that aside, there's no denying that he killed Megumi in cold blood to get out of his debt to her and covered it up to the group to preserve his credibility. Regardless of what you think of Megumi, he has no excuse here. Not only is he one more kill away from being a serial killer, he's the only participant in our group that has actually killed people directly aside from Alice. Another reason why I bring this up is cuz something that completely flew over my head is this:

At the start of the game he had the audacity to complain about not having a partner or someone he knows with him like Sara does as if he didn't literally let Megumi get ripped apart by chains probably not even an hour ago Keiji what the hell--

*Throwing Kanna under the bus repeatedly.

Despite positioning himself as a protector and someone to rely on, he's far from above putting their youngest members in danger. Next to voting for the fourteen year old girl to die, he had the great idea of letting said fourteen year old be the one to babysit their biggest liability. Up to the point where they would stay in the same room both day and night. While I absolutely 100% trust that Sou would never EVER do anything to her, Keiji had no guarantee of that when he send her off. Hell, he literally just got done accusing Sou of setting Joe up to die (which I don't believe almost solely based on the fact that he said it, more on that another time maybe). He knew Sou was bad news, and openly acknowledges how adults can be terrifying, but he did it anyway. The dubiety of throwing the already traumatised little girl to keep watch on what they thought to be the most dangerous adult that had manipulated her once before is not lost on me, and that he didn't take any responsibility for her afterwards isn't lost on me either. To be fair, the Sou and Kanna thing doesn't just fall on him, it falls on everybody (Alice gets a pass because he actually swapped out with Kanna to watch Sou for her), but he was the one with the final say on the matter and who encouraged her to take the role despite Reko's rightful protests. The fact that he also voted for her to die in the Main Game, and is the only adult to do so, doesn’t help his case.

*Attempting to frame Sou knowing Reko was actually responsible.

While you could argue he was trying to cover for her since he knew why she did what she did, trying to pin this act on Sou to cast more doubt on his is extremely shitty. Never mind the blatant corruption and the irony of a supposed man of the law abusing his power to knowingly frame an innocent person (in this situation at least), and him sowing more seeds of confusion and resentment within an already rattled group, and giving Sou legitimate reason to be suspicious of him (and by extension Sara)-- this makes it so difficult to trust him after realising he's done this. Literally every time he accuses someone of being or doing something suspicious (mostly Sou), I always have to think in the back of my head if he’s telling the truth or just telling a blatant lie. He's shown that he's willing to not only lie to cover for himself, but to lie to delegitimize someone else. And Sara never caught onto it (Sou and maybe even Nao likely did tho). She never openly acknowledged it-- No one did. The complete lack of mention of what he did here makes this action quite missable. Hell, I didn't even catch it the first time. Has he done this before? Who else has he lied about? Who else would he lie about? Who else would he knowingly pit against the group? You don't have to wait for that answer, because I will provide an example later. And with "later", I mean now.

*Casting suspicion on Gin before the vote while hiding the fact that he killed Megumi.

While it's not as blatant as with Kanna, there are two instances where Keiji shows a readiness to either put or leave Gin in harm's way. The biggest one for me is in the Main Game. Like, how dare you. That is a furry child, sir. This kid’s like TWELVE. Even though he makes a valid point about calling out suspicious actions to clear them up so we can all trust each other, casting doubt on Gin of all people right there feels pretty screwed to me. This was before the preliminary vote. His words could’ve very well gotten Gin voted for if he couldn’t disclose why he did what he did for whatever reason and therefore being unable to clear himself from suspicion. It’s even more fucked when you realise that Keiji has literally murdered his partner and is currently planning to get Sou killed while giving this whole spiel about doubting others so that we can believe them and pointing the finger at a little kid to make an example to the group. But when Nao, Sou and Sara call him out on his suspicious actions that could rightfully damage his credibility, he tries to shut them down completely. My brother in Christ, you brought it on FIRST (don’t get me wrong I’m very much aware he didn’t really mean the whole “trusting each other” bit but come on dude)--

Speaking about not meaning what he says:

*Letting the group think he’s Ok to vote for knowing he’s the Keymaster.

This kinda got to me because I thought this was Keiji actually being… vulnerable? Accepting the consequences of his actions and allowing them to vote for him in their distrust without protest even tho it could cost him his life, maybe. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I can’t remember a lot of times-- or any times, really-- where Keiji has willing put himself into the line of fire, at this point at least. He always finds a way to keep himself safe, give himself insurance, and I thought that this would be the one time he doesn’t do that. But this feels so ominous looking back knowing that he was the Keymaster the whole time. That our distrust and betrayal and his resignation to it all didn’t matter because he was going to be safe no matter what. That he knowingly allowed us to assume that he was a safe vote because he didn’t want his plan to kill Sou to be ruined, which narrowed down choice of people we can safely vote for even further. That this action is ultimately the reason why Sou and Kanna were our only options to kill off in the end. If he had admitted it there, we could’ve found someone else to vote for so our final options could consist of three people, not two. But he didn’t, and the rest is history. There’s a lot of things he’s done I can’t get over. This one ranks pretty high. The second Main Game is already a huge sore spot for me for obvious reasons; knowing that a lot of the things that happened were due to his inaction where it truly mattered and activity in all the wrong places doesn’t make me fee any better. He didn't say he was a safe vote-- he didn't lie-- but his words carefully omit that voting for him means a total party death, something he should've stated then (and before this, really).

*Leaving Sara with the sacrifice card.

Despite making a big show about “always being by her side” and being her “reliable policeman”, he chose to look away when she was in real danger. He attached himself to her as her right hand man, made her shoulder the responsibility of being the leader, constantly manipulated and flattered her to win her trust and gain her favour-- but when she needed him the most, he basically left her for dead because it was the most beneficial to him. Keep in mind that not only did he know about her getting the sacrifice (he was also the sage so he'd have seen the trade happen), but he had the tokens to help her get rid of it. But those tokens weren’t for her life. They were for his. He used them instead to give himself the Keymaster as insurance for the Main Game (the Keymaster he stole from Sou/Kanna most likely to buy Sara’s trust btw). His desperation for survival outweighed his sense of obligation to keep her safe, and that’s the most subtle yet transparent he’s been about his selfishness. What makes this so much worse is that Keiji is our support character. He’s an ally, and our closest one at that, to the point where Sara burned her hands in a futile attempt to rescue him and signed her life away to save his. And yet his loyalty and protectiveness pale in comparison to other characters. Compare his actions to Sou’s: one of their many parallels and similarities is that both their girls get hit with the sacrifice card. As we’ve established, Keiji was fully aware of Sara being send the sacrifice by Sou, had 50 tokens ready to go and chose to secure his own survival than save her life. Kanna ended up doing it instead, attempting to trade the card off Sara with Sou realising what happened immediately. And what does Sou do? Completely bend over backwards trying to keep her alive. He lied about being the Sacrifice so the others wouldn’t suspect Kanna of having that role, meaning he could try gathering vote for her without anyone seeing his true intentions. He tried to stop her about coming out with the truth of what she had done so she doesn’t sentence herself to death. After everything he did to survive-- after how much he lied, how much he schemed, how much he hurt, and how he had thrown himself away to replace everything that made him Shin with the man that had traumatised him years before the game began to scrape together even the tiniest chance to survive-- he threw it all to the wind and was willing to let it all be in vain if it meant she got to make it out of the Main Game alive. The worst part is that Sou had never intended to make it through that Main Game. He confessed to already knowing that Kanna would choose Sara over him if she truly had the Sacrifice card. Yet he still did what he did all in the hopes that she could win. Because it was all about her survival first, not about them surviving together.

It also gives a different context to Sou's panic and him stumbling over his words trying to come up with any argument to get them to stop. At first I thought that Sou was afraid for his life. Which would make sense-- Keiji and Q-taro set him up to die and seemed pretty adamant on having everyone voting for him to get it all over with. But he was already prepared to die the minute he realised Kanna traded with Sara. So it means it wasn’t his life he was fearing for here-- it was hers. To him, if they voted for him there, it wouldn’t have just been his end but hers too. But we know that Kanna isn’t the one who has the sacrifice. It’s Nao, and considering how the Main Game can end either or both of them dead, I wonder if he regrets not having given up there, not letting Keiji get away with that shitty stunt he pulled knowing it would’ve at least guaranteed her safety than leave her fate in hands of a girl with enough reason to kill her. Ignoring the sounds of my heart shattering into pieces for the 100th time thinking about the Greenblings, it’s so fascinating that our biggest rival and most distrusted member has a greater sense of loyalty and responsibility for his ally than Keiji has for his own. Sou can be a liar and manipulative and selfish, but for how unpredictable he is something I can always trust is his love for those he holds dear (Kanna) and general desire to protect our most vulnerable (Gin). Sou loves Kanna, and so he’s fine with protecting her even if it comes at a price he never wanted to pay. Keiji surely cares about Sara, but unfortunately that is something I can’t say about him-- at least at that time (also the fact that Sou ended up taking more care and responsibility for Kanna despite Keiji having been the one to throw her on him in the first is so ironic).

*Continuously pushing Sara to take on the role of leader.

I think one of Keiji's biggest failures in the game come from his treatment of Sara despite positioning himself as her most reliable ally and her partner. From the very get-go, he was very adamant of making Sara be the one to shoulder the responsibility of the group. He, along with Joe (he didn't do anything wrong here), pushed Sara to be the Challenger during the Russian Roulette, despite Q-taro and Kai being readily available. He made Sara be the one to interrogate the suspicious convict while distancing himself from the situation. And he encourages her to lead them through the Main Game, lets her make the choices that steer them all forward and as a consequence take the fall for them as well. Rather than take on the role himself, or let another adult take it, he places his full trust in her and makes her shoulder everyone's weight so he doesn't have to. And he can see the effect it has on her: having horrific hallucinations due to the immense guilt she feels. But having Sara as their leader gives him a greater shot at survival and helps his credibility, so even though he tries to provide her comfort he still continues to keep her in that role. Again, the high schooler taking responsibility for the adults falls on a lot of the older people here, but Keiji was the one who kickstarted it rather than just go along with it like everyone else had. Gin, Nao, Kanna, Reko and even fucking Sou to an extent all have moments where they take the burden off her and relieve her of that pain she shoulders all the time (or at least try to). I need Keiji to take more responsibility for both the group and for her.

*Pitting Sara and Joe against each other.

This is just another example of the previous point. This isn't as bad, and I could give him the benefit of the doubt that this might have not been intentional, but it's something I want to bring up regardless. I'll be the first to say that Keiji wasn't wrong here. Prying into everyone's votes is a very bad move, especially since no one knew that Mishima would actually die (it was introduced as a practice round, after all). I agree with him, Joe was being rash, but instead of leaving the conversation there, he decided to throw Sara into it to pick a side. Which is... not good. He already won the argument and already had Reko on his side. Bringing in Sara could not only make Joe feel worse and potentially strain their relationship (especially if she rightfully chooses Keiji's side like he was expecting and hoping for), but just puts Sara in the spotlight during something she doesn't want to be part of. While there's a chance he might've done this because he know Joe is more likely to listen to her than him, he should've known better than that. It again makes her take the responsibility of giving the final verdict that would've otherwise gone to him.

*Asking Sara to take responsibility for his life

I've got nothing other that the grown adult swearing his life to the grieving, unstable teenager to take responsibility for while asking her if she'd die along with him is weird as heck. Keiji's said weirder things prior to this, but this one is a different weird. I think Beanieman's post mostly echoes my thoughts on this on, so I'll link it here for this point. This part kinda bothers me:

He shouldn't be encouraging her taking on anymore responsibility than she already is. He knows that the deaths that happened under her leadership haunt her. He knows that she's very much unstable enough already, to the point where he takes baby-steps to avoid triggering her trauma over Joe. He positioned himself as her reliable partner, her rock to lean on (quite literally sometimes). We see first hand how emotionally dependent she is on him. If he died, it would destroy her-- she'd destroy herself over it. He knows this (or should) but he still does it. His disappointment and dismissiveness when she understandably rejects him makes it worse. The guilt of potentially not living up to his expectations is not what she needs.

*Potentially working for Asunaro

This is more ambiguous than everything else here and more a theory than anything but it's been on my mind for a long time that Ranmaru might actually be onto something here. We know that Asunaro has a strong hold on the police. Midori was able to infiltrate the force, and they were able to get rid of Mr. Policeman for looking into the corruption going on, first having Megumi fire him and secondly getting Keiji to kill him by planting false info about the suspect having a gun. Megumi was also able to get Keiji off the hook for murder, which I believe Asunaro had a hand in too (I theorize this might've been her wish). There's also Alice, who was arrested and sent to prison despite the fact that he (legally) didn't kill anyone since Midori was a doll. The police are connected to Asunaro-- by extension Megumi and extending further potentially Keiji.

Something I've seen someone rightfully point out is that neither of the options you're given to say in response to the accusation... actually deny it? Both choices dance around answering directly, which is suspect as fuck. If Keiji truly wasn't with Asunaro, why not shut that theory down immediately? There's no benefit to answering anything but "no" when he's innocent, and he's lied straight to people's faces for less. So why not just debunk it? I think it's cuz there might be some truth to what Ranmaru was saying here. The biggest reason I think this is because despite the fact that Keiji quit the force, he and Megumi were still associating with each other years later. They were kidnapped together and partnered up for their first trial. One missable piece of dialogue is Keiji admitting that he was with his partner-- or rather a "coworker"-- before getting knocked out.

That slip of the tongue and backtracking makes me believe this part to be true. Him switching from "my partner" to "a coworker", which is a lot more distant and impersonal, makes me think it's got to be Megumi. However, I don't believe that Keiji would wanna keep in touch with her after what happened willingly, so I can only imagine that it's due to that debt he has to her. My little game theory here is that after the shooting, the debt he owed her was a forced recruitment into Asunaro. It's the only thing I can imagine he meant by "the worst kind of debt", a debt he'd literally let her die for to get out of. And if this is true, then it could also explain away his instant attachment to Sara, since he'd know beforehand that she's someone he can depend on due to her having the highest chance at survival. Maybe he already knew about her beforehand, one way or the other. We know Hayasaka did (which I think we as a fandom moved on from way too fast btw). Kai and Sou did too. There's always a chance. And unlike Sou's victory rate and Midori's favourite number, it's not zero. One person made a comic about this idea I recommend checking it out, it's tastefully unsettling. But still very much unsetling and uncomfortale. Be warned that it's also Keisara-centred, so if that makes you even more uncomfortable they did the job right you can ignore it. Proceed with caution or don't read if you don't like.

*Being a predator

I have been waiting so long for this one XD For context: a while ago I made a longpost discussing the sanitisation of soushin and this kind of toxic attitudes in fandoms regarding "problematic content" (ships, characters, shows, you name it). In it, I mentioned that it's not only soushin that receives this treatment but a certain other dynamic too. It's not a rainy day, however this has been way overdue and if I don't get this done now I never will.

Something I've seen a lot, and I mean a LOT-LOT is this notion that Keiji acts "like a father" to Sara and that their relationship is a completely platonic father-daughter bond and that he's the resident dad of the group? Like, it's cute, but that's not at all what their relationship is. At all. Not even a little bit. We called Sou and Kanna siblings before the Greenblings reveal. The difference is that not only does half the fandom think this man is gay, but he's only ever been protective and caring and loving without any romantic intentions towards Kanna ever. His title as her brother was deserved, based on the genuine affection and platonic protectiveness similar to that of Alice's. Keiji has made advances tho, on many occasions, and his flirting is repeatedly acknowledged by other characters. Namely Sou and Reko.

(Sou grills him for being a creep every chance he gets I love him XD) But yeah, these are not the type of reactions and comments you receive when being a "father-figure" to the teenager. You get all this when you hit on the teenager. Which he does all the time by calling her "cute" every time she asks something and his "cute little detective", swearing himself to her by saying that "he's always on her side" or something like that, asking her if she'd die alongside him, repeatedly claiming or insinuating that they're on a date, or ""having a moment"" and going to ""take the next step"" when in private (*cough* groomer *cough*)-- you name it, he likely said it. He's a walking-talking ladykiller machine and teenage girls aren't safe, apparently.

(Quick note: The dialogue for the Russian Roulette one is a tad different now. In the new translation he says "cause you're so darn cute" now. I dunno if that makes it sound any less weird, but I felt like putting that out there. What I'm also putting out there is that according to the trivia he calls her cute 8 times throughout the game so. Yeah. *Cough* groomer *COUGH COUGH*)

Like, who tf says this?? Especially that last part 💀 Even if you wanna die on the hill that these are supposed to be "jokes" not to be taken seriously, we should all be able to agree that the (ex)police officer in his late 20s jokingly hitting on the high schooler he follows around is still weirdo behaviour at best and down right despicable at worst. The fandom seeing lowkey predatory/inappropriate behaviour from a figure of authority persistent for almost three entire chapters and dismissing it as "fatherly" and "platonic" is, well, concerning. It's very concerning. If your dad acts like Keiji, you should probably call the police. Unfortunately for Sara, Keiji is the police. And considering this guy got away with manslaughter, I don't think said police would do anything anywho. But yeah-- he uses flattery and flirting to distract her from prodding to much at him while simultaneously aiming to gain favour in her eyes. He showers her with reassurance of his loyalty and affirmation of his deeper attachment towards her and her alone every chance he gets to cement his position as her closest and most trustworthy ally. He insinuates a romantic partnership between them to others to mostly keep her to himself or the two of them alone (he always does that when they're investigating or going to investigate by themselves). There's such an obvious romantic undertone to their relationship and his actions that it going almost completely ignored in the fandom feels weird to me.

I want to make clear that there's nothing wrong with headcanoning Keiji as a father figure to Sara. It's cute. Keiji didn't have a dad himself, and the closest thing to a father figure he had was the man he shot dead. He's a damaged and hardened guy. But Sara's dad is involved with Asunaro and Gin's is an alcoholic, and in a situation where they both need guidence and protection he tries his best to grow and change, fumbling to become that decent father none of them got to have. It's nice, and a wholesome dynamic for our "characters with memorandum counterparts and only non-determined deaths" trio. But that's obviously not what their dynamic is. There's a difference between headcanoning something and erasing canon and the Yttd fandom leans heavily into the latter. Keiji's a creep, he always has been, yet 90% of people I see always portray him as a Mr. Dad Guy or completely sanitise him to hell when him being creepy and unnerving to be around is what made him such a fascinating character. Just like I said with Soushin, the sanitisation to make canon more digestible is one thing: harassing or insulting the people that explore canon is another. I'm gonna take a bullet, derail this rant and say it-- Keisara shippers get so much shit for literally being right it's so infuriating. Keiji does hit on Sara, a lot. He's creepy and weird like that. Him flirting with her isn't a "mistranslation" or a joke or anything like that; his dubious wording and antics are very much intentional. Yet the only people I see actually addressing and acknowledging that without adding fluff is keisara shippers and other ""proshippers"" only for them to get fucking sniped for it I cannot 💀💀 I have yet to meet a single eastern fan who calls this cop "fatherly". This really feels like such a western issue cuz the majority of the japanese fandom agrees that this man's a predator (correct me if i'm wrong but keisara is the most popular ship in the japanese side of the fandom, right?). Then again, eastern fandoms are more chill over there when it comes to separating fiction and reality in general anywho.

*Yeah, I think I'm done with the Keiji slander. Yay. Time to unceremoniously end this.

There's more to say about that, but this is a Keiji post, not another shipping discourse post (although it's hard discussing Keiji's predatory behaviour without bringing it up too). Before I do spiral from the original point, I'm going to try and reach some sort of conclusion here. While I did spent the majority of this post just reading Keiji to filth, and am very salty towards him in particular, this was not just to rake him through mud for my own sanity (tho it's part of it XD). Keiji's character is that he started off as someone who wanted to do the right thing, someone who wanted to be good and moral and protect others by joining the force only to kill all the progress he made along with the person who inspired him to become an officer in the first place. It heavily contrasts the Keiji we have now, a sleazy, unreliable and corrupt ex detective who flirts with underage girls and is willing to resort to the most bankrupt of decisions to save himself. A man that has long lost hope of his wounds healing that he lets them fester and his rot spread onto others. And while I headcanon Keiji to just inherently be a piece of shit, his former self tried his best to be genuinely good before he became so convinced he can never be better that he made peace with his shittiness in the end.

With all this I wanted to highlight some the shadier and bankrupt things he's done that I haven't seen much discussion around and refresh myself on them before the final part. Both so no matter how emotionally dependent and therefore rose-tinted Sara is about the man I don't forget what he's actually like and what he's done while also being able to appreciate how much he's changed for the better. Some of my favourite examples about how he's changed are these:

Before the second Main Game Keiji was willing to let Sara and Kanna die because it was the most beneficial option for him, but in Chapter 3 he takes the on the role of "it" from Kanna and refuses to tag Sara when he thought he was gonna die after failing to beat Midori.

Actually showing more sympathy towards Sou after the Main Game. He was very mean about dismantling his pretence of a cold front to Kanna's death, don't get me wrong, but he showed a lot more consideration and understanding for Sou's feelings and acknowledgement about his active role in it than he ever had beforehand.

He was genuinely fighting for everyone to survive the game, not just himself. While Keiji would prefer everyone making it out safely, he has a tendency to guarantee his own survival first through any means necessary. His plan to corner Midori in the banquet could've cost him his life if it weren't for Q-taro's final stunt, yet he still reassured Sara to save Gin even tho it could've resulted in his execution from Meister potentially finding him guilty of violating the rules.

Him hugging Mai and trying to be more cheerful was cute as heck. I'm sorry but him showing more vulnerability around his allies and being less closed off in a way he hasn't been before is something I'm very head empty about. That he was hugging and interacting with Mai without making any unwanted advances or ladykiller jokes and generally just having a more friendly vibe was nice. It makes his creeping on Sara more unfortunate, but I'll take what I can for now. The bar is in hell.

And that's it, I think. Overall, I hope they do address some of his actions here in the final part or make them have an impact on his and Sara's relationship. Especially that Asunaro part. The person who wished for Sara to join the death game is still unknown and so is Keiji's consent form wish (same goes for the Dummies, Hinako and Megumi), so I'm curious if they're related or not. If he's going to go down an even darker path or redeem himself as much as he can we'll see when the final part drops. He has the potential to go both ways. This is going to be kinda awkward if the next part reveals him to have been a decent guy all along, so hopefully that doesn't happen. Please be morally bankrupt, man. This post didn't end up the way I wanted it to, nor bring up as many points as I would've liked, but I know I won't finish it if I went full perfectionist on it (I already spent months on this writer's block do be a bitch) and it's looking kinda long already. Hopefully it's still decent enough as is right now. I'd like to say that this is my apology for the last longpost I made, but I brought up one of the most controversial and hated ships and traits of Keiji's character and defended them, so maybe I shouldn't 🙃 Anywho, hope you enjoyed and cheerio.

[thevelaryons]

Prince Jacaerys x Baela don’t call my attention as much as other pairings for them. Baela’s personality is totally unique and takes a blow from not being allowed to be more than a wife for him. I want to know your thoughts on Baela’s best ship and Jacaerys’s best ships. I don’t see that love being shown as strongly as the other examples we have for couples. I haven’t finished F&B yet but I do know how this ends.

I think it depends on which canon you are looking at for Baela. In the show version, Baela is the love interest and in the book version, Baela is a character who has love interests.

Showverse Jacaela made the dynamic a lot more equal than it was in the book. Baela is treated as Jace’s partner in everything. They are meant to be perceived as a romance. Though it does come at the expense of Baela’s own personality. She’s not the rough, flirtatious tomboy of Fire & Blood but more of a softspoken lady always ready to support Jace (just as he is there to support her). Though the writers clearly favour building up Jace more, hence scenes of Baela expressing her frustrations about her father are used to prop up Jace’s characterization and his own daddy issues. I’d say majority of show!Jacaela scenes are about Jace wanting to prove himself/Jace’s troubles about bastards/Jace’s position as heir, with Baela always being the love interest at his side.

Bookverse Jacaela is quite different. In fact, Jacaela didn’t even really exist as a ship until HOTD because the dynamic comes off less romantic in the book. If it’s a romance, then it’s a rather lacklustre one:

Lady Rhaena’s twin, Baela, remained on Dragonstone. Long betrothed to Prince Jacaerys, she refused to leave him, insisting that she would fight beside him on her own dragon…though Moondancer was too small to bear her weight. Though Baela also announced her intent to marry Jace at once, no wedding was ever held. Munkun says the prince did not wish to wed until the war was over, whilst Mushroom claims Jacaerys was already married to Sara Snow, the mysterious bastard girl from Winterfell.

Once Jace returned from the North, and took up control of the castle as Prince of Dragonstone, Baela expressed her wish to marry him. I’ve said before that I see this as Baela asserting herself as Jace’s consort and future queen (as Daemon’s mini me, she is acting as her father would to assert himself in the family through marriage). But the fact that Jace didn’t fulfill Baela’s wish speaks volumes. Even Jaehaerys married Alysanne when she asked it of him. They had a private ceremony then in the future they had a grander one when they made their relationship public (they also waited years to consummate until they were ready). Jace’s own brother, Aegon, doesn’t consummate his marriage with Daenaera until many years later. So Jace could’ve married Baela and then in the future once the war is over, they would have a larger wedding + consummation. There being no wedding at all seems like a significant detail, otherwise GRRM wouldn’t have bothered including that in the text.

I do think that the cheating rumours are likely false since it doesn’t really fit Jace’s character. Also, at that point in the story, Jace was trying to appease Corlys. He had to name Corlys as Hand, but a more certain way to retain Corlys’ loyalty would’ve been to marry his granddaughter. It would be a promise that Corlys’ bloodline would sit the Iron Throne one day. Again, I believe it’s a very significant detail that the marriage between Jace and Baela never happened in the book. While I do think Jace would’ve married Baela eventually, in the future, it was not something high on his list of priorities at the time. That is to say, Baela was not really a priority to Jace in the book canon. This is obviously different on the show, where we are shown Jace actually prioritizing Baela a lot more. In the book, I think he may have cared for her, because she is family, but it was not any deeper than that.

Leaving Sara out of the equation since there’s no confirmation if she actually exists, I personally think the most significant relationships Jace has in the book, outside of his parents, are with his sworn brother, Cregan, and his milk brother, Daeron. In the show canon, there isn’t anything special to say about Jace’s trip North (he interacts with Cregan for a minute at best) and Jaceron doesn’t exist because Daeron was temporarily erased. However, we are given substantial details about these dynamics in the book. Jacegan appears to be a very popular relationship for Jace. I personally prefer these two as only friends though I don’t necessarily have any issue with them as a romantic couple. That being said, Jace is 14 years old in the book when he meets the 21 year old Cregan so the age gap is a bit questionable. Though by ASOIAF standards, I guess it’s normal. Jacegan is personally not my favourite ship for Jace because that would be Jaceron.

Jace and Daeron’s relationship is quite important to the narrative of the Dance. They were born close together and became milk brothers from the beginning. They were supposed to be representative of a positive future for the Targaryen dynasty, yet they become divided because of the increasing conflict between their families. Jace and Daeron were expected to be each other’s equals, they were made to train and study together, and attend the same feasts and balls. Daeron is said to be in his older brother’s shadows yet he should at least be on the same level as Jace. Except he isn’t because Jace is openly favoured by the King himself while Daeron gets no great show of affection from his own father. Daeron is the only one in his family who is also sent away from the capital while everyone else gets to stay together in King’s Landing. The boys’ appearances are directly compared to each other from the moment of their birth. The favoured heir who looks like a bastard and the trueborn Valyrian prince who is sidelined. They could have been friends in a different time, but in this story, they can only become enemies. Over the years, their actions still affect each other. It is Jace’s dragonseed plan that causes trouble for Daeron and eventually leads to his death. Even in separation, the milk brothers are connected. One detail that I’ve always liked is the parallel between the scenes of Jace and Daeron making plans for how to proceed with the war, but these plans are foiled by the supposed interference of the gods: “Yet the plans of men are but playthings to the gods. For even as Jace laid his plans, a new threat was closing from the east.”/“Men may plot and plan and scheme, but they had best pray as well, for no plan made by man has ever withstood the whims of the gods above.” These are the descriptions given before the beginning of the battles that would kill Jace and Daeron, the Gullet and Second Tumbleton. Though there isn’t any great show of love in this dynamic, it has always been one of my favourites because of what it represents for the Dance as a whole. Even HOTD erasing them doesn’t lessen my enjoyment of the relationship, since I primarily focus on book canon anyways.

For Baela, her most significant relationships, outside of her parents, in the book are with her twin, Rhaena, and her eventual husband, Alyn. Those are the ones GRRM wrote about extensively. Since all three characters are well fleshed out in the book, so is Baela’s role here. She is not just a supporting role to either Rhaena or Alyn, but a power player in her own right (with many of her actions being enabled by one or the other two). Incest is not a dealbreaker for Targaryens and Baela/Rhaena make an excellent match because of how seamlessly they operate together. I don’t know why the show created a bit of disconnect between the Dragon Twins, with Rhaena feeling bitter about Baela not understanding her concerns and the two of them growing up separately. In the book canon, they grew up together on Dragonstone and were said to be very close. It’s not until the war that they are separated. Though the more baffling decision is HOTD aging up Alyn. Book!Baela rejected the idea of being married to someone much older than her and instead chose Alyn, who is the same age. The characters’ ages in the show are kinda all over the place, but apparently the actor playing Alyn is in his 30s and even older than the actors playing Rhaenyra/Alicent/Criston, whereas the actress playing Baela is in her 20s. So show!Alyn is clearly older than show!Baela who is either 16 or 15. It defeats the whole purpose of the Baela/Alyn relationship which is supposed to be one of equals. Although it seems like the show is setting up some kind of dynamic for Baela and Alyn already, since season 2 had the scene of Baela calling herself “blood and fire” in her conversation with Corlys as a parallel to Alyn saying he is of “salt and sea”.

Baelyn’s relationship in the book is a marriage of convenience. Baela actually took a big risk when she decided to run away to Driftmark. The last time Baela had asked a boy to marry her, she would’ve been left disappointed when he didn’t fulfill her wish. Unlike Jace, who was Baela’s stepbrother and betrothed, Alyn may be her cousin but he is also a stranger for all intents and purposes. Ultimately, Alyn did agree to Baela’s proposal to help her escape her forced marriage. Since Baelyn have very similar personalities, they do work well together as partners, but at the same time, they are also known to quarrel with each other. The book does mention that they always end up reconciling whenever they clash:

Yet in the end they reconciled, as they always did.

Their dynamic is written to be complicated but it’s also one of the most interesting ones in the book. On the one hand, Alyn is willing to wage war to protect Baela, and later was willing to oppose the small council in order to protect her from a forced marriage, he defers to Baela and treats her as a higher authority than he does the king & queen, he names his flagship in honour of her, he makes her part of his political plans, he seems to have no issue with the idea of Baela expressing her sexuality through relationships with other people, etc. But on the opposite end, Alyn does seem to chafe against the notion of domestic marriage that Baela seems more favourable of. He craves freedom and adventure. That being said, Baela is often shown to be doing her own thing in the book too; she’s not confined to the role of wife. So while they may act as a couple at times, in other instances, they are their own individual.

Since Baela grew up watching couples in her family like Corlys/Rhaenys, Daemon/Laena, Daemon/Rhaenyra (regardless of whatever private issues those couples might’ve had), she would have certain expectations for how she wants her marriage to end up. While Jace may be a disappointment because he denied Baela the marriage she wanted, Alyn disappoints in other ways. Though he does at least try to prioritize Baela in the book. But whether that’s Alyn simply doing his duty to Baela since she is his wife, or out of genuine affection, is left ambiguous. I would say that Alyn grew to love Baela but he’s not in love with her. As for Baela, she probably felt the same way about Alyn. There is a part at the end of Fire & Blood where Baela expresses her jealousy over Alyn’s fond regard for another woman, so that does suggest Baela’s possible romantic interest in Alyn. But that’s the last mention of them. Fire & Blood 2 will have more details on the development of their relationship, and if Alyn reciprocates Baela’s growing interest in him. My impression of book!Baela’s romantic prospects is that Jace was just meant to be a placeholder for Alyn. GRRM clearly intended to depict Baela and Alyn as each other’s main love interest, considering how much he wrote about them. I find it fascinating how Alyn shares many similarities with both Laena and Daemon. Leave it to GRRM to create a love interest for Baela who is just a combination of her parents. Even the fact that Alyn and Baela have matching burn scars, complimentary sea & moon symbolism, grand displays of defiance for each other, all suggest a deep connection between the two, despite the stormy nature of their marriage.

The only other noteworthy relationships Baela had were with some of the other boys at Dragonstone. After the Battle of the Gullet, the rest of Team Black moves to King’s Landing and Baela remained behind at Dragonstone. I don’t think these relationships are of any particular consequence because we don’t even know the names of the boys Baela hooks up with but it’s still relevant for Baela’s own characterization. Tbh I do find it odd that GRRM didn’t write anything about Baela expressing grief over Jace’s death but the idea of her Dragonstone boy getting hurt moved Baela to tears:

As a younger girl she had oft been chastised for wrestling with squires in the yard, but of late she had taken to playing kissing games with them instead. Not long after the queen’s court removed to King’s Landing (whilst leaving Lady Baela on Dragonstone), Baela had been caught allowing a kitchen scullion to slip his hand inside her jerkin. Ser Robert, outraged, had sent the boy to the block to have the offending hand removed. Only the girl’s tearful intercession had saved him.

Though it’s possible that at that point, Baela has already moved on since her relationship with Jace was only an arrangement made by their parents, and now Baela is learning to express herself as more than just a consort. In which case, her relationship with the Dragonstone boys is a necessary starting point for Baela’s development.

Baela became a more prominent character near the end of the Dance, in the book. Despite this, she actually had more depth as a character than Jace (died in the first 1/3 of the Dance) and Alyn (he did even less than Baela during the war and only came to the forefront in the Regency). While the show did increase Baela’s presence, it fails to capture the complexity of her character that was present in Fire & Blood. Her primary purpose in show canon so far has just been about developing Jace’s character.

[seaofthesoul]

🪷 The Lotus Flower in Mysterious Lotus Casebook 🪷

i. Growing Deep Roots

As noted by difeisheng, Li Xiangyi is an image more than he is a person. He’s the “symbol” and “beating heart” of the Sigu sect; “he embodies everything [the sect] stands for” and “has become one with every person he represents” in his role as a leader. As such, one might say he doesn’t exist as an individual who’s allowed the luxury of flawed, fluid humanity. Rather, he’s fixed into an object: a shield protecting those under his care, a mirror reflecting those he’s taken upon himself to be the champion for.  

While a heavy burden to carry, this identity as image is also shown to be brittle, hollow, like a hazy mirage which is more dazzling appearance than substance. Even Fang Duobing introduces Li Xiangyi to Li Lianhua by showing him a painting of his shifu — ink on a page, a person turned into a hero to be worshipped and idolated. 

Li Lianhua, over the ten years that pass after the Great Battle of the East Sea, works to plant and cultivate a new identity in the same way one might grow flowers. Li Lianhua forms deep roots and grows out of the mythical hero’s shell he’d been carrying as Li Xiangyi, thus developing an identity which is solid and grounding in contrast — an identity which involves “walk[ing] within a crowd instead of [soaring] above it.”

This shift from image to person is itself rooted in the lotus mantra (written by Buddhist Layman Pang during the Tang Dynasty) which Li Xiangyi first encounters after monk Wu Liao rescues him:

一念心清净 莲花处处开

The heart attains peace with a single thought; Lotus flowers bloom all around.

Although the exact timeline is left to interpretation, it’s implied that the lotus mantra operates as a catalyst of change for Li Xiangyi and that he changes his name to Li Lianhua after reading it. Now what is it about it that speaks to Li Xiangyi so deeply in that moment? As noted in 《 人間福報 》, the lotus mantra teaches us that a pure heart will result in an open and enlightened mind. One subtle, profound thought rife with compassion is enough for a person to glimpse Buddha in a flower, a leaf, a grain of sand or a speck of dust. In short, “if you can find peace within yourself, then you will find peace everywhere.” Perhaps Li Xiangyi, at his lowest point, finds solace in the prospect of stripping his life down to its very core and searching for purity, wisdom and peace within his troubled heart.    

By renaming himself 莲花/liánhuā lotus flower, Li Lianhua takes his destiny into his own hands; he empowers himself into reshaping his identity and laying down the foundations for the person he wants to become. Similarly to The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity which tells us that “names are the shortest spells in the world,” Li Lianhua’s new name functions as a spell which speaks a new him into existence. It’s a deliberate choice, a conscious attempt at breaking free from the suffocating shell Li Xiangyi was trapped in and become a person of his own choosing. 

The act of (re)naming notably also extends to Li Lianhua’s abode which he dubs 莲花楼 “Lotus Tower.” In addition to this significant choice of name, it’s interesting to note that Li Lianhua starts growing vegetables inside Lotus Tower when he’s left with nothing after his demise at the East Sea and is facing starvation. As such, his home is quite literally a site not only of self-sustenance and survival, but also of growth — a growth which requires hard work, patience and faith and nearly brings Li Lianhua to tears when his hopes are finally rewarded and the seeds he planted begin sprouting. The act of physically planting vegetables and learning to cook those vegetables speaks of a refreshing and grounding simplicity — of something disarmingly vulnerable and human after playing the role of a god-like figure. Li Lianhua has sweat on his brow and hope in his heart; he plants seeds, watches them grow and keeps himself alive by his own hands.

It seems it’s not only Li Lianhus’a home, but also his very person, which steadily grow into a lotus flower. Li Lianhua wears a variety of hairpins directly linked to the lotus, and the colour coding of his garments moves from the red he used to wear as Li Xiangyi to a lighter palette filled with greens and blues — colours which are more obviously linked to nature.

ii. Life Borrowed and Given Away

The lotus, both traditionally and within the drama itself, is closely connected to the theme of rebirth. On a literal level, the exotic lotus flowers of Cai Lian Manor grow directly from the corpses of the victims drowned in the pond, thus embodying life born from death. thawrecka writes in their story that Li Lianhua is “nothing but a lotus nurtured by a walking corpse, a body that doesn’t realise it should already be dead.” On a figurative level, the lotus grows in muddy water but blooms unsullied every morning, thus symbolising rising from a dark place and growing into something beautiful and colourful despite all the odds. The different stages of the lotus’ blooming can be taken to represent the beginning, middle and end of a spiritual path in Buddhism — a parallel to the theme of 趟/tāng taking a journey which underscores the drama in various ways.

Li Lianhua’s journey, more specifically, is that of a lotus being reborn. The soundtrack piece 《 一壶莲花醉 》 “A Pot of Lotus Wine” emphasises this connection in the following lines:

问一句莲花的悲喜 断一柄弃剑入青泥

I ask about the joys and sorrows of the lotus; A broken, abandoned sword is thrown into the mud.

Not only does Li Lianhua keep stressing at different points of the drama that Li Xiangyi is dead and all that is left behind is Li Lianhua; he even breaks his own sword Shaoshi at the end of the story, thereby physically reenacting a process of destruction—death—and rebirth. As Li Lianhua writes in his farewell letter: 

剑断人亡

My sword is broken, and I will be gone.

The significance of Li Lianhua’s action is further intensified here by the fact that the sword in the song is said to be thrown into 泥/ní mud, the site from which a lotus flower grows.

Considering that Shaoshi operates as a device embodying Li Lianhua’s character development throughout the drama, the fact that Li Lianhua decides to break it in the last episode should be taken as a key moment in which he chooses how his own narrative is going to end. Li Lianhua decides to kill for good the glorious image of Li Xiangyi which has become sullied with pain and regret in his heart, so that a simple, fragile peace can begin growing in its place like a lotus flower amidst the mud.

However, the tragedy of Li Lianhua’s narrative is that the rebirth he works to achieve for all these years is not his own to enjoy and never was intended to be. After the Great Battle of the East Sea, as Li Lianhua is reborn from Li Xiangyi and starts planting seeds all around him, he has already accepted that he’s nothing but a ghost, “wandering in the jianghu to close his loose ends and finally [...] vanish without a trace, not even a body left behind.” As mx-myth remarks, even the shift in his garment colours to an overwhelming amount of white as the story progresses makes it clear that he’s resigned to go and has “already started dressing for his own funeral.” 

The lotus flower symbolism permeating the narrative accentuates this bone-deep, unshakable resignation. While imprisoned by Jiao Liqiao, Li Lianhua is full of an aching, bittersweet fatalism when he recites a section of Guan Hanqing’s《 窦娥冤 》“The Injustice to Dou E”:

花有重开日 人无再少年 不须长富贵 安乐是神仙

Flowers will blossom again, But a man can never be young again. Seek not eternal wealth; You only need to be content.

Independently from the original meaning of the lines written by Guan Hanqing, the words seem to take on a sad, wistful quality when spoken with a bitter smile by Li Lianhua. In this scene, while the speaker reflects that rebirth occurs outside of themselves in flowers, they acknowledge that their own reality is one inevitably bound to end in old age and decay. Instead of looking forward to a bright future, the speaker doesn’t express any dreams nor ambitions and is only grateful that they’re alive this minute, this second, without any future prospects awaiting them. Perhaps a similar sentiment is reflected in the following lines from 《 一壶莲花醉 》 “A Pot of Lotus Wine”:

了了心事只 不负众生 而已

After settling my worries,  I just want to live up to all sentient beings.

Li Lianhua’s connection to the lotus flower, in fact, was always meant to be one of non-attachment. While Buddhism believes desire to be the root of all suffering, the lotus symbolises non-attachment due to being “rooted in mud (attachment and desire)” while “its flowers blossom on long stalks unsullied by the mud below.” This explains in part why the lotus is considered pure and noble. For Li Lianhua, this non-attachment takes on sorrowful connotations: it means that he stubbornly refuses to reap the seeds he sows and focuses his purest heart and will into ensuring those around him get to reap them instead. Non-attachment means allowing himself enough (a roof over his head, food on his plate) to survive, but rarely letting himself indulge in the precious luxuries of reciprocated love and care — of carefree joy and thirst for adventure.  

The ten years he lives after his first death at the East Sea are, for him, only borrowed time he didn’t deserve — borrowed time not dedicated to himself, but rather dedicated to others.

In many ways, Li Lianhua’s path effectively goes full-circle by the end of the narrative. When he and Di Feisheng reminisce about the moon they remember from ten years ago, they conclude that today’s moon isn’t any brighter than the one alive in their memory: rather, it remains constant, unchanged, as though the past ten years never existed as anything other than a short pause in the story, a coma, long enough for wrongs to be righted but not for an already-dead person’s fate to be changed.

It’s interesting and particularly significant that the Styx flower (忘川花, from 忘川 “River of Forgetting” in the original Mandarin) is said throughout the drama to be the only thing capable of saving Li Lianhua’s life. In traditional Chinese culture, the Styx or River of Forgetting is part of the process of reincarnation; only by crossing it (and forgetting everything they’ve ever experienced and everyone they’ve ever loved) can a person finally reincarnate. For Li Lianhua, salvation through rebirth comes at a high cost — a price he’s evidently been ready to pay since the beginning, even if it means turning him into a ghost who must vanish from the story in order for those around him to grow and thrive further.

When Li Lianhua breaks his own sword to allow for rebirth, it’s not himself he’s saving. His sole purpose throughout his journey as Li Lianhua is to use whatever meagre strength he has left, whatever passion and drive are still alive in him, to save the world in any small ways that he can. He becomes a doctor who heals people; he looks for answers and solves mysteries to atone for the sins he thinks he has committed and rectify the mistakes he thinks he has made, so that those he has hurt can finally find peace and comfort.

The most powerful legacy Li Lianhua intends to leave behind by the end of the story has nothing to do with himself and everything to do with the people around him who he never truly admits he loves — the messy, imperfect world that’s caused him so much pain but that he nevertheless insists on saving with everything he has. 

Most strikingly, Li Lianhua chooses—whether consciously or not—to leave the life and future he’s renounced for himself to his companions Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng. The only traces he purposefully leaves behind live in them: in the Yangzhouman coursing through Fang Duobing’s body; the home, dog and recipe book he passes onto him; the worthy opponent he leaves for Di Feisheng to fight in his stead after he’s gone… 

Fang Duobing, by the end of the story, has grown into more than a disciple and a friend to Li Xiangyi/Li Lianhua: he himself has become the lotus flower bringing renewed life after Li Lianhua has left the narrative, thereby taking Li Lianhua’s legacy into a hopeful, vibrant future. As mx-myth mentions in their colour analysis, Fang Duobing notably wears bright pastel tones including a large amount of green/blue — a colour coding which emphasises Fang Duobing’s connection to spring and, by extension, new life and beginnings. “Life will always go on if there’s spring”; and so Fang Duobing’s youth, vitality and optimism can grow in the empty space left behind by Li Lianhua after he fades into the autumn of his life.

While Li Lianhua’s predominantly light colour palette might appear to align him with other characters in the drama who have left the past behind and are looking towards the future, Li Lianhua made peace long ago with the knowledge that he’s destined not to belong in that future. Just as the Lotus Sutra teaches us that “the inner determination of an individual has great transformative power” and “gives ultimate expression to the infinite potential and dignity inherent in each human life,” Li Lianhua focuses all his transformative efforts on creating a future which, despite having no place for him, will be fertile ground for the entire martial arts world to grow deep, healthy roots. In Li Lianhua’s own words:

幼芽生枝 新木长成 武林也一样 这未来如何 谁又能说得清楚呢

The young sprouts and the new trees grow. The martial arts world is the same. What does the future hold? Who can say clearly?

Should we say, then, that Li Lianhua’s story is one of sacrifice, self-renunciation and resignation — of drifting inevitably towards death as a flower carried by a stream? As he disappears on a boat and is asked where he’s going, Li Lianhua gives a response which echoes his first death at the East Sea in a way that feels entirely deliberate:

小舟从此逝， 江海寄余生

From now on I would vanish with my little boat; For the rest of my life on the sea I would float. 

How are we to understand a person being reborn simply so they can pass on that new life to others, and being convinced that their only true value lies in their death?

Perhaps, in spite of it all, we can find some small comfort in the knowledge that, no matter how sorrowful Li Lianhua’s fate, it’s at least one that he chooses — one that he has full control over, even poisoned and robbed of his life force as he is. As the lyrics of 《 一壶莲花醉 》 “A Pot of Lotus Wine” underline, “it’s just a matter of picking an ending that you like.” Perhaps that’s all that truly matters. 

wuxia-vanlifer makes an excellent point when asking: “What would be more tragic? That he never believed he was loved? Or that he did, but vanished anyway?” While I don’t have an answer to offer, there’s one thing I can say. Li Xiangyi, Li Lianhua — they live and die by love. They can’t conceive of themselves as anything other than a sacrificial tool because, for all that they pretend to be aloof and untethered, they actually love others—and the world—in a bone-deep, profound way they’ve never loved themselves. That love is not only the true driving force behind Li Lianhua’s character and the fate he chooses: it’s the beating heart of the entire drama.

“In this life, I have loved and I have been loved. That is enough.”

Shoutout to the following authors and bloggers whose brilliant words and ideas inspire me, as well as this gorgeous video 💖

ao3: @extraordinarilyextreme @thawrecka

tumblr: @difeisheng @extraordinarilyextreme @mx-myth @wuxia-vanlifer @xinyuehui

[daydreaming-en-pointe]

it’s nice to have a friend (pt. 1)

Pairing: Hobie Brown (Spider-Punk) x GN!Reader

Type: Mini Fic - Fluff-ish??

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Cursing, maybe a little bit ooc Hobie since it’s been months, a few halfhearted attempts at his accent and then I just gave up whoops

A/N: wrote this while having the worst cramps of my life last month and only finished it now 👍 idk I just felt like cussing out the world at that point so that might explain the excessive swearing 😭

Tap tap tap.

You were just about dropping off to sleep when you heard those light knocks on the window. Probably just a clumsy bird.

Tap tap tap tap.

The knocks grew more insistent, more familiar - a pattern of sorts. You heaved a long, mildly annoyed sigh and got up to open the window.

It was not, in fact, an annoying pigeon. It was Spider-Punk in the flesh. Or as you knew him, your absolute dumbass of a best friend.

“It’s 3am in the fucking morning,” You waved your hand at the pitch-darkness outside, giving him the most formidable glare you could muster. “What do you want?”

“Hello, sunshine!” Hobie hopped inside, pulled off his mask, and gave you a completely unfazed grin. “Nice to see you too. Stop glaring at me! What, I can’t see my best friend whenever I want?”

“It is 3am in the fucking morning,” You repeated, pointing helpfully at the clock on your bedside table, though you had to press your lips together to squash a smile. Good grief, did his little cross between a smirk and a smile have to be so contagious?

“But I can’t sleep, and clearly you can’t sleep, and I missed you, so let’s go!”

“You saw me barely six hours ago,” You deadpanned, already pulling yourself to your feet and grabbing your coat from where it lay thrown across the the bedside table. “Drama queen.”

“Me? A drama queen? Nah, I’ll show you drama.” He flopped melodramatically onto the floor, grabbing your ankle and pretending to die. He looked ridiculous, like a lanky stick-bug-fish hybrid that crawled onto land and starting flapping about.

“Hobie, get up!” You gave a little huff, reaching a hand down to yank him upwards. “Okay, fine, let’s go wherever it is you want to go.”

“Yay! Can we go to the roof?”

“Sure, we can take the fire esca- HOBIE WHAT THE FUCK NOT AGAIN!” Before you could even take a step towards your bedroom door, he had grabbed you around the middle and leaped out the window. Your stomach dropped as he let you both plummet almost to the ground before shooting a web to the railing that ran the length of the roof and extended a little bit over. You both shot up like a rocket and he angled you in such a way that your landing would be much gentler than his.

“The next time you do that I’m going to throw up on you,” You warned him once you got the air back in your lungs (after a little bit of wheezing).

“That’s what you said last time. Besides, ‘s like a free amusement park ride! Honestly, I’m so generous, you don’t even have to pay,” He chuckled softly, brushing past you to sit at the edge of the roof.

“Sometimes I don’t even know why I put up with you,” You muttered, carefully navigating around the looser tiles on the roof to go and sit next to him.

The atmosphere was silent, not peaceful exactly but just still for the moment. Factories in the distance were still chugging out thick smog that floated up to join the suffocating clumps in slowly strangling the city. The alleyways were dark save for a few slivers of moonlight that managed to cut through the pitch-blackness of the backstreets.

Perfect time for a philosophical conversation, right?

“Do you ever wish that that spider hadn’t bitten you?”

Hobie looked at you in surprise, his eyebrows raising slightly. He looked back over the city, leaning back on his palms. “Well… sometimes. What I mean is… sometimes I just wish I didn’t have to do this, y’know? But it’s better me than some pig. One of those bastards as Spider-Man would be a fuckin’ nightmare. For everyone who sees through Osborn’s bullshit.”

You nodded, satisfied with his answer. Truth be told, you didn’t understand much of what he said - it was 3am, it had been a long day, and the words just didn’t register in your tired brain. You closed your eyes for a few minutes, leaning on Hobie. It wasn’t very comfortable, since not only did you have to avoid impaling yourself on the small spikes on his vest, but his shoulder was also pretty bony under the fabric.

“Tired?” He turned his head to look down at you, eyes soft and sweet and filled with something you couldn’t quite put a name to right now, perhaps because of the state of your consciousness.

You rolled your eyes, having still not fully pushed away the remaining traces of grumpiness that lingered from your rude awakening. “Thanks to the dumbass who woke me up at some unholy hour.”

“Come on, you know you wouldn’t have slept anyway. At least this way you have some company.”

You opened your mouth to say something back but slowly shut it upon realising that he was right. Absolutely insufferable.

You just snorted and closed your eyes, savouring the moment as best as you can. You loved quiet moments like these, where you could ask anything and get an honest answer instead of having to mince your words — maybe you liked them more than you should, but it was fairly harmless, right?

Marriage could end in divorce, couples could break up, and young love really wasn’t a constant. You couldn’t expect something so intoxicating to retain its magic against the test of time.

So it was better to take that fierce rush of whatever it was that you were feeling and label it as platonic love. Because strong platonic love, when it was returned, was benign and beautiful and all-encompassing, all at once.

“Oi, don’t fall asleep here. Still with me?”

You felt a light touch of ridiculously cold fingers against your forehead and jolted fully awake.

“Asshole,” You complained, batting away his ice blocks for hands. “Have you been sitting and stewing in a fridge for a few hours?”

Hobie snickered at your annoyed frown and chose that moment to break into a grin, reaching into his pockets. “Oh, that reminds me, I made us matching bracelets!”

He held out two bracelets, ridiculously tiny in comparison to his fingers. They were both composed of random beads, staples, half-broken bottle caps and bits of coloured string threaded onto a loop of fishing twine. The loud, mismatched colours practically vibrated off of them in shockwaves like some sort of sonic boom of Hobie-ness.

In short, they were absolutely perfect. There was nothing that he could’ve given you that would remind you more of him. All sleepiness was momentarily forgotten as you took one of them, holding it up to examine it in whatever moonlight managed to cut through the clouds.

You gave him a smile, slipping it onto your wrist carefully. “It’s beautiful, Hobes. Thank you.”

“Ah, we’re back with the nicknames! There it is! Good to know I didn’t actually make a mistake waking you up.” His tone was lighthearted and teasing, but his smile had turned into one of affection as he watched your reaction to his gift.

There it was again. You’d seen it a few times recently, and it had been silently eating at you no matter how much you tried to dismiss it as simple friendship.

Nothing more than a tiny little flash of that puzzling something in his eyes, but something that made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and not just in a way that someone would feel about their best friend. Something that gave you the courage to finally break free from the voice in your head whispering about everything that could go wrong — although that might have been because of your horrendous lack of sleep and the tiredness that was tinging each of your thoughts with just a little bit of delirium.

Screw keeping it platonic.

“Hobie,” You began, and something in your tone must have sounded different because he trained his eyes on you, his head cocking to the side slightly. You faltered slightly, trying to think of something to say. But before you could find a way to put your exhausted, confused mess of thoughts into words properly, he winced and his face scrunched up in the way it always did whenever his spider-sense went off.

“I’m sorry, I gotta…” Hobie gestured vaguely down at the alleyways, an apology practically written on his face. You nodded, ignoring the hollow pit of disappointment forming in your stomach.

“Yeah, you should go. I’ll… see you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” He agreed, already fishing through his vest pockets and digging out his mask. He paused to give you a cheeky grin before slipping the fabric over his face. “Don’t worry, I’ll pick a more pleasant time to drop in.”

“That’s what you said last time!” You called after him as he leaped off the building, disappearing down into the roads winding around, into and throughout the city. You stayed where you were, hugging your knees to your chest as you stared at the ever-shifting skyline. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course something came up right as you had finally mustered up the courage to say something… and yet, it felt as though he was almost expecting it. Like he wanted you to say it.

You scoffed at the absurdity of your train of thought, looping around and around hopefully like a broken clockwork toy. All wishful thinking, perhaps? Then again, maybe not. You pushed yourself to your feet, pushing open the fire escape and beginning to make your way back to your apartment. You almost missed the terrifying rush of adrenaline that accompanied one of Hobie’s daredevil manoeuvres in and out of windows on the fifth floors of buildings. Almost.

You got into bed again and switched off the light, pausing to look out of the still-open window. Oh, well...

You moved to close it, pulling down the pane of glass and latching it at the bottom.

Maybe next time.

@hobiebrownismygod @l0starl @therealloopylupin2099 (not sure if i’m missing anybody else, it’s been a while 😭)

[crystal-verse]

"Raha?" "Hm?" ". . .promise me you'll still be here next year, after we've explored the Tower?" "Why do you ask?" "Just -- promise me?" ". . . of course. I promise, love. I shall be here next year, to sit with you." "Thank you." "Of course. Happy Valentione's, Pheli." ". . . happy Valentione's, Raha."

(The only promise G'raha ever broke -- because he was not there, after the Tower had been explored. He was not there to sit with Sae'pheli'ehva; instead, within the heart of the Tower, he slept.)

(Sae'pheli'ehva still visits that spot, each Valentione's after, and tries to remember G'raha's warmth, and the soft gentleness of his voice.)

[moe-broey]

6/11 • Day 3 • Celebration

I Think We Might Be Friends -- Level 40 Convo, featuring my Summoner, Moe! (Uses it/it's pronouns!)

Aka what happens when a mirror reflects a mirror. But like with one of those funhouse mirrors that distort your image. Wouldn't that be fucked up or what

Also also just. Sharena bestie you have me BEWILDERED. I remember so distinctly when I got her 40 convo, waayy back before I had a good read on her character... it struck me, stuck with me for years. I think I finally understand, now, though.

Some close ups of my fave shots!

Also! Coloring this was a last-minute impulse decision, which thankfully paid off! I was sooooo scared though ESP of not making time after. ALL OF THIS TIME. So I took pics beforehand too!

With... kind of inconsistent lighting LMFAO 🧍 I feel like this version has a nice effect too, but! It was important to me to show Moe in full-color, here. Similar, but in opposite directions...

@sharenaweek

[thedrotter]

I have a gift for y'all today !!! 😊 Ever wanted to find a line in Re:Kinder in a single place for the sake of reference?? How about multiple chunks of lines. how about all the little variations that arise in the text with it's many endings, item descriptions, text that comes from interacting with the enviroment, and character info from the menu without having to boot up the game and go through it at long minutes!!???

well i sure did😊 Since I do a lot of fanart and think up my own silly theories and thoughts that need me to reference the game lines a lot, i have made a transcript for it for convenience's sake. A weirdly thorough transcript handwritten and proofread by me including all character lines available in-game. And I'm sharing it with you all today for anyone that wants it !!! :3 To use as a reference for creative fanworks or a quick search for a line in-game, whatever you wish to use it for!!

It uses the english translation of the game by vgperson. So naturally all credit for the game lines available in here is to her and Parun who made the game.

I did my best to organize it in a way easy to digest. Do note that I'm still human, and there's still the chance for mistake in it no matter how much I've proofread it, since I'm not even an english native speaker ^^. But I hope it serves you well nonetheless if you wish to use it.

That's my gift for today!!! Not the usual art, but still a project I'm proud of. Enjoy!!! 😊

[not-poignant]

Just a heads up Mephistopheles has red skin. But I’m so happy to see more content with him!

Hi anon!

Okay so two things, firstly you might want to check out the Forbiddem Realms wiki:

And specifically the source which is canonical to 1E:

Mephistopheles has multiple different forms! :D The blue form exists in different spaces and across different campaigns and you can Google right now and find canonical fanart of blue-skin Mephistopheles! Some of those illustrations are hot as fuck, so live your best life :D If you're happy to see content of him, hopefully that includes the blue form as well.

And since Mephistopheles was never actually in Baldur's Gate 3 I get to choose what forms they are because secondly, I highly recommend you read tags and author's notes thoroughly for Palmarosa for the additional reason that:

Is in the tags! And in the Author's Note of the first chapter:

I knew the DND purists would kind of get up in arms about all kinds of things (and...I was right), so I think this is now like the tenth time I've had to remind people to actually read my tags and author's notes! I don't kind of want to remind folks in every chapter that I will do something I like more if I don't like the canon, or what the point of fanfiction is in the first place. But I'm not trying to write more canon anon, I'm writing fanfiction, and the transformative part is the point.

It doesn't matter if his blue skin was in the Wiki or not, I can do what I like in this story, that is, after all, the spirit of DND and creating new campaigns within an existing structure, and that's precisely why Mephistopheles has so many forms in the first place! Heck, I could've made him green :D

There's a lot of things that aren't canon compliant in this story, from Astarion being able to taste food properly, to Mephistopheles being based on 1E instead of later version/s (I mean he's not Molikroth here either), to the House of Hope having many many more rooms than present in the map, and a great deal more besides.

I know that one version of Mephistopheles has red skin, I just like the one with blue more!

[daisywords]

\

[specialshinytrinkets]

The only good the fourth Kikoriki movie has served is proving that Pin is autistic. Fight me