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strwbabydoll · 2 days ago

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The Feeling Came Late (I’m Still Glad I Met You)

Chapter Four: To Kiss in Cars and Downtown Bars

pairings: grumpy!college student!Harry x fem! sunshine!reader

chapter summary: No matter how frustrated she gets, she just can’t give up on the hope that she can change him, help him. Her best friend offers her a distraction to keep her mind fresh and off of the stress of tutoring him, the bar is just the perfect way to do that. After several shots, she falls into the arms of the one person she didn't want to see tonight, and just their luck he has to be the one to take care of her for the night. What better way to end the night than with a mistake that might just change everything as much as he hates it.

series summary: Harry hates Y/N, it seems like it's been like that forever. He's quick to insult and correct her even when she's right, he's just always been the only one to pick on her no matter what she does. She doesn't understand why it's like this between them or what she did to make him dislike her so much, but what if it's all just a lie?

overall warnings: slow burn, eventual smut, sexual tension, kind of enemies to lovers, angst, alcohol consumption and drug mentions, foul language, Harry is a major asshole in this tbh, heavy on the grumpy x sunshine in this.

chapter 4/? (wc: 6.7k)

001 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

- - - - -

She knew logically there was no reason for her to be upset, especially not about something so small and more than likely had nothing to do with her. He was just being him, he was in a mood and just didn't want to be there. Deep down she wanted everything to go differently, she wanted to see if there was a chance he could maybe not like her a little less, he might crack a smile or at least talk!

The whole time he was silent aside from the hums and grunts he would answer with that she had a hard time deciphering. She had to fight back a smile every time they made eye contact but the small moment was ruined when he'd look away and huff.

The following days after their study session seemed to drag on for Y/N. The days' they go to school haven't changed, she tries to approach him to discuss when to meet next or to ask him if he has any questions, and he ignores her. He'll carry on with his conversation as if she's not standing right there and she's left to walk away with her head held down and a sad smile on her lips.

So she stopped trying, she stopped texting him about the worksheets he has, she stopped trying to talk to him in between classes, she hated the way he treated her and she's tired. She figures that he'll come to her whenever he's ready.

So she went on with her normal routine and didn't focus on him as much, and if he never comes back then it's not her fault. She continued with all her studies and preparing for her own exams, spending time with her friends and making short trips to her favorite meadow.

She's always found the breeze blowing against her skin, the silence of the field aside from the couple of birds chirping and the insects that have made the grass their home, comforting in a way. She loved being outside even as a young girl, it seemed to be the only place she could go to escape the chaos and loud feelings of her life. She never hesitated to step outside whenever her parents began to raise their voices, or after a long day filled with stress.

As she sits against the tall oak tree, the leaves shading her from the heat of the Florida sun, she can feel the stress of the past few days leave her body. She smiles happily as the grass tickles her skin, and at this moment she feels at home.

- - - -

The next couple of days, she still hasn't heard from Harry about their next session and midterms are coming soon and she'd hate to be the reason Harry fails. The only thing coming into mind is to make her way to the principal's office and demand that he comes to sessions but she knows that won't work. It'll just cause Harry to hate her even more if that's even remotely possible. She sighs as she walks out the school doors and down the steps, a slight pep in her step and a soft smile placed delicately on her lips.

She skips over happily to the bike rack and unties her own, slowly pulling it backwards until she's a good distance from the rack. She stops briefly as something catches her eye. With one hand shielding her eyes from the harsh sun as she scans the crowd, she smiles brightly as she lands on a familiar figure, the loose curls gathered in a pony tail and the leather jacket are all too familiar to her, so without thinking she begins to move towards him. Her legs carry her through the crowd of students until she's standing directly behind him. Her hand comes up to tap gently on his shoulder, stepping backwards so he can turn around.

He turns around, scowl already forming on his lips as his eyes meet hers. His fists clench at his side and he shakes his head. He quickly turns back around and opens his car, not caring about the conversation he was in the middle of. She frowns slightly before walking behind him as he aggressively opens the door and gets in, making sure to glare at her when her hand reaches out to rest on his door.

"What the fuck could y’possibly want?" He asks and she frowns slightly.

"You've been ignoring me." He scoffs lightly at her response as he sticks his keys in and starts the car.

"Get the hint then, lala." He gently begins to tug on the door, just because he's an asshole doesn't mean he's just gonna let her get hurt physically.

She frowns as she keeps her hand on the door.

"Just because it was one bad study session - keep in mind it was only bad because of you - doesn't mean you can be even more of an asshole to me. I know you don't wanna fail, you wanna get the hell out of here as fast as possible." He stares at her blankly as she speaks.

"I don't care if you like me or not because frankly I don't like you right now. I've tried to schedule sessions and all I get is radio silence. If you want this to be over as soon as possible, then you need to try. You need to work with me, not against me. If you wanna pass, I'll be at the library in the same spot all week. If you don't, then you better tell the principal you canceled our study session and whatever bullshit you need to say. I want you to know that if you fail, you can not blame me because you did this yourself." She says as her grip on the door loosens. He furrows his eyebrows as he stares at her intensely, his frown prominent as his eyes size her up.

He lets out a defeated sigh as he shuts his eyes and turns his head slightly, his curls tickling his neck as they slide over it.

"Fucking fine, two days from now I guess we can meet up and study some more. Is that all?" His voice lacks any eagerness but that doesn't deter her from cracking a big smile at him before she skips off towards the bike rack. His eyes never leave her retreating figure even after she pedals out of the parking lot and down the street.

He's so stuck in his brain that he doesn't hear his friend Alex walk up beside him, the feeling of a hand slapping him on the shoulder startles him from the trance he was in. He snaps his head around and nods his head once in acknowledgement, Alex smiles at him briefly.

"Wassup man, why're you being weird?" Harry shakes his head as a frown quickly begins to form on his face.

"The fuck are you talking about?" Harry asks and Alex chuckles, a hand flying out to grasp Harry's shoulder in response.

"You've been staring into space since what's her face left." Harry shakes his head in response as he chuckles.

"Nothin' like that. S'all taken care of." Alex nods once before releasing his hold on Harry's leather clad shoulder.

"Me and a couple of buds are going to the bar tonight, you wanna come?" Harry nods once in agreement before they say their goodbyes.

- - - -

Y/N sits on the couch beside her closest friend, Leya, aimlessly scrolling through the channels on the television. Their phones are discarded on the coffee table in front of them as they make small talk as they search for something to watch. The day's been boring for both of them, Y/N went to school and then headed over to Leya's house where her friend's been cooped up all day.

"We should go out tonight." Leya says after settling on some cooking show.

She sets the remote on the table before turning to face Y/N beside her, her eyes meeting confused ones.

"It's a school night... Why on earth would we go out?" She asks and Leya chuckles.

"We won't be out late, promise. Just tired of being cooped up inside and we haven't hung out outside of these four walls in forever it seems. You've been busy." Y/N smiles softly as she tucks one leg underneath her as she bites her bottom lip.

She knows her best friend's idea of “not late” is much different than hers, they're more than likely going to be heading back to their places around one in the morning, meanwhile Y/N usually only stays out until eleven p.m. since she has early morning classes. She sighs before turning her gaze to her best friend, eagerness and excitement is written all over her face and she can't help but to return the excitement. A bright smile forms on her lips before she nods her head.

"Where did you want to go and we're only staying out until midnight at the latest, I have to get up early." She can't help but smile at her friend's excitement.

They both turn their gaze to the television, smiles etched on their faces as they focus on whatever the man on the screen is cooking. She knows this isn't a good idea because she knows they'll be out much later than intended simply because time won't matter once they're having fun. No one will be checking their phones and she doesn't even know where they're going!

She knows she hasn't had much time to properly hang out with her best friend because she's been doing a lot more. She's been juggling school with tutoring two different students and trying to snag some hours in at the local library for a little side cash. She can't help but to feel bad, but there's nothing she can do about it now and she's sure her friend understands why.

Leya goes on and on about a bar nearby that's under new management and is supposed to be so much better and how she wants to try it.

"They have a better selection of drinks, live music! This sounds like so much fun I promise you won't regret it. Please say you'll go, you have to! I'm afraid I'll die if you say no." Leya says, placing a hand on her forehead to feed into the dramatics as she rests her upper half over the couch armrest.

Y/N can't help but to laugh at her friend as she rolls her eyes playfully.

"You're silly. You know I was gonna say yes regardless, you deserve a proper fun night out." Leya's face might be broken with how hard she's smiling, white teeth showcased fully and her eyes barely showing as she quickly shortens the small distance between to embrace her best friend into a tight hug.

"I could quite literally kiss you right now, you're the best friend ever! I'm so excited, thank you thank you!" She squeals before pulling away to plant a sloppy kiss on Y/N's cheek causing the girl to laugh as she wipes it away with the back of her hand.

A comfortable silence falls over them as they turn their attention back to the television, the man's voice playing in the background as he talks about whatever dish he's making for the day. Her head lays on Leya's shoulder as they continue to watch tv, a happy smile on her face as she enjoys the company and peaceful bliss.

- - - -

Several hours later, Y/N finds herself standing in front of the standing floor mirror holding two different dresses. She takes turns in holding the dresses up to her body as she tries to decide which one she wants to wear. She doesn't wanna put too much effort in her appearance since she knows it'll all be sweated off by the end of the night.

She ends up choosing a simple black dress, one that hugs her curves nicely with lace detailing around the edges and stops mid thigh. It's plain enough so she won't stand out too much, but dressy enough to show she actually put some effort into her appearance. After she slips it on, she applies some light makeup and styles her hair and decides to leave her curls to flow down her back.

She walks out of Leya's room and into the living room where she's met with her best friends' figure leaning over the kitchen island as she applies a pink tinted lipstick over her lips, the burgundy dress compliments her caramel skin, hugging her curves but flaring out towards the bottom with an open back and stops mid thigh. Her hair has been pinned back as it rests in the matching burgundy hair clip. She can't help but to smile as she watches her friend add the finishing touches to her makeup before choosing to speak up.

"You look super pretty, Leya. Is that dress new?" Leya turns around and smiles just as big as she nods.

"Yes! Oh my gosh, you look to die for! Spin for me baby!" Leya exclaims and Y/N can't help but to giggle as she does a spin, her white heels clicking against the tile floor with every step.

They both laugh as they embrace each other in a tight hug before walking out the door and towards Leya's car. The soft breeze blowing against her skin and she smiles as she steps inside the car. Leya hops into the driver seat and starts the car making sure to roll Y/N's window down as she drives down the street. The trees and houses turn into a blur, the breeze fanning her face as she lays her head on the open space on the car door.

- - - -

The smell of weed quickly fills Y/N's nose as she steps out of the car and lets her eyes sweep over the building. There's a couple of guys huddled in the far side of the building, she can only assume they're smoking the weed by how clouds of smoke keep blowing in the air every couple of seconds. She can see the side profile of one of the guys and she can't help the small gasp that escapes her lips when she realizes that one of the guys is Harry.

He's dressed like normal, a white dress shirt halfway unbuttoned to show off his swallows tattoos and his toned chest, a pair of black skinny jeans and his signature brown Chelsea boots, his hair resting right at his shoulders instead of his usual bun. She can hear Leya clear her throat from behind her and she turns around to meet her gaze with a sly smile.

They don't say anything to each other before Leya's grabbing her hand and heading towards the entrance and she laughs as Leya yells.

"Party time baby!" The sound of her friend's voice causes Harry and his friends to look over and she catches a glimpse of his signature frown beginning to form.

She refuses to let him ruin a perfectly good night so she sends him a sarcastic smile before she's dragged through the door and directly to the bar, she staggers behind her friend as her heels clack against the wooden floor. She quickly apologizes to everyone she bumps into as she tries to make herself as small as possible, earning a few nasty glares in the process. It doesn't take long for the two girls to reach the bar and they quickly hop onto the bar stools, the leather squeaks underneath with every move.

The music is loud and Y/N can feel the vibrations through the stool, even though she just walked in the heat from all the dancing bodies enveloping her, wrapping her in a warm hug. The bartender comes over and sends both of them a flirty smile as he leans on the counter top.

"And what can I get for you lovely ladies?" He asks and they both let out a giggle. Leya's the first to answer as she smiles back.

"I'd like a sex on the beach please!" The waiter nods in response as he gathers everything he needs and begins to make her drink.

Y/N doesn't know what she wants to drink, she's never been a heavy drinker, she doesn't like the bitterness of beer or the burn of tequila as it flows down her throat. She usually sticks with water or tea, something non-alcoholic or something sweet when she's out so she turns her head and pleads with Leya. Wide eyes begging for help to make herself feel better about her decision which causes her friend to laugh softly before nodding her head.

The waiter comes back with a smile as he hands Leya's drink to her and turns to Y/N, flashing her a flirty smile as well.

"And what can I get started for you, pretty?" Y/N smiles politely back at him before Leya interrupts them.

"Do you by any chance have anything fruity?" The bartender nods and quickly mixes her drink and hands it to her, it's orange and looks just like orange juice and she can make out a few ice cubes floating around.

She hesitantly brings the cup to her lips and takes a small sip, expecting to feel the burn in her throat or taste the bitter aftertaste that'll linger on her taste buds. Surprisingly she doesn't taste any of it, it's sweet and tastes just like orange juice. She licks her lips before taking a longer sip and nods.

"I like this! What's it called?" She asks and the bartender chuckles softly before he replies.

"It's called a screwdriver. It's orange juice and vodka. I'd be careful with that, because it's so easy to drink it'll get you pretty tipsy fast. Don't just drown it, small sips." She nods gingerly as she turns to Leya.

"Want some?" Leya shakes her head softly as she sends a smile to Y/N, one full of love and happiness she can't help but to send a reciprocated smile back.

The bartender leaves them to chat idly as the music plays, loud enough to cause them to lean into each other to make sure they're heard correctly. Leya talks about how she can't believe that Y/N is out and drinking, making jokes about where has her friend gone because the girl she knows wouldn't be caught dead in a bar, let alone outside her apartment at this time. Y/N chuckles before playfully pushing her friend's shoulder and taking another sip of her drink.

As their eyes glaze over the crowd full of dancing people, Leya nudges her softly causing her to turn her head briefly where she's met with a smirk.

"You know Harry's here?" Y/N chuckles before nodding.

"Saw him outside before we came in. Didn't look too happy to see me." She shrugs before taking another sip of her drink. She watches as her friend shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

"Still nothing huh? I don't even understand why he dislikes you so strongly. You said you confronted him in the parking lot? Did nothing happen?" Y/N can feel her frown beginning to form at the thought of her outburst at him.

"No, he just stared like a statue the whole time before he very reluctantly agreed to another study session. I hate to feel like I'm forcing him but I refuse to let him fail under my watch you know? I know he can do better." Y/N takes another sip of her drink as she begins to drum her fingers on her thigh to the rhythm of the song playing.

Leya smiles as she sips her own, she loves that most about her best friend. The fact that no matter what she's always seen the best in people and never treated them the way they treat her.

"Let's play a game." The smirk is back on her lips as she sets her drink on the counter behind her.

"What could we possibly play at the bar Leya?" Her curiosity is getting the best of her, she always had fun with her and this wouldn't be any different.

"Let's see how many people end up fucking tonight. You take a sip if you end up losing your guess, and the other person takes a sip if you guess correctly." Y/N can't help the shiver of excitement that runs through her body at the game description and so she nods her head excitedly as both eyes trail over the crowd.

- - - -

Several wrong guesses and a couple correct ones, Y/N can feel the warmth of her cheeks and she's a giggling mess. She's never felt more at peace as she leans her head on her friend's shoulder. They've left their multiple glasses behind as they sway lightly and slowly to the very upbeat song, not caring about the nasty glares they're receiving or the way the bass of the song vibrates in her chest. They've forgotten the game a while ago, after Leya's guesses got more incorrect and Y/N's guesses became slurred words and giggles.

She's never been a heavy drinker so she considers herself a lightweight when it comes to alcohol and at this moment it shows. Y/N's more gone than Leya is - she's borderline tipsy, still able to form sentences and can kinda walk in a straight enough line if she concentrates hard enough. So Y/N leans her weight on her friend as she wraps her arms around her waist and snuggles her face into her neck, neither girl caring about her makeup that will definitely leave a stain as they sway.

"Leys.." a giggle escapes her lips at the new nickname coming from her before she turns her head upwards to gaze at her best friend.

"Yes, honey bunny?" Leya brings one hand up to her head and softly runs her hand through Y/N's curls as she laughs softly, she can feel Y/N begin to relax in her hold and she chuckles softly.

"Love you." She mumbles and she can feel a soft kiss on the top of her hair and the tightening of Leya's arms around her shoulders.

"Love you too sweets. Are you feeling okay?" Y/N softly nods her head against Leya's chest.

A couple seconds past, a comfortable silence looming over them before Y/N gasps and pulls away.

"What? What's wrong?" Leya's face is laced with concern, eyebrows raised and eyes wide as she stares at the drunk girl.

"You're my best friend!" She exclaims and lets out a small giggle. Relief floods over Leya's face and turns into a loving smile.

"And you're mine, forever and always." She breaks into a big smile, one that makes her cheeks hurt and shows off all of her teeth, one that seems to brighten up the decently lit building.

The music has seemed to fade away into the background, it doesn't seem as loud anymore but she can still feel the bass vibrating through her body as she very clumsily dances alongside her best friend. Hands, arms, and sides bump into one another throughout her time shared on the dance floor, she can't bring herself to care about any of that. The only thing that matters at the moment is that she'll be happy and she's having fun, she can't remember a time she's felt so loose.

She stops her dancing around to stumble over to the bar once more, their glasses cleaned off and the bartender already ready with a medium sized glass cup.

"Are you thirsty?" He says as he pushes the cup towards her, the condensation leaves a wet trail against the wooden countertop and she shakes her head.

"New cup please, no drugs." She giggles slightly at herself and sets her hand on the table. She focuses her attention on the bartender as he pours out the water and rinses the cup. He quickly pours her some fresh water and she giggles as she thanks him, their fingers brushing over another as she grabs her cup from him and takse a sip.

She's managed to lose Leya in such a short time, her eyes flitting over the crowd but she can't seem to focus on finding her friend when her eyes land on Harry's signature curls and leather jacket. She giggles before taking a big sip of the water and sets her cups on the counter as she hops down from the stool and begins to clumsily make her way over to Harry. She bumps into a couple people on the way over, saying excuse me before she bursts into small fits of giggle with every bump.

She almost trips over someone sitting near Harry, her hand coming out to grab onto the closest thing to her and she quickly grabs onto someone's chair.

"Watch it!" The guy yells at her and she quickly pushes herself up and apologizes, a soft laugh coming out from her lips as her eyes lock onto Harry's. His face is bare, no frown placed on it but his hazy eyes show just the hint of annoyance. His eyes wander over her body as she just stands there before he leans forward and his eyes flick up to hers as his hands slowly come up to her frame. He ever so gently and very carefully takes the end of her dress and tugs it down from its resting position from at the top of her thighs to the middle of her thigh.

After he's satisfied he quickly pulls back and grabs the joint from Alex's hand and takes a hit, he enjoys the burn in his throat as he inhales and watches the smoke as he exhales. He finds that her presence isn't as infuriating like this, his eyes travel down her frame - taking in the way her hair flows, and the dress and just how well it compliments her curves, the way she plays with her fingers and the slight sway she has as she stands in place.

She then quickly breaks out into a big smile and stumbles closer to Harry.

"Hi!" He frowns slightly before nodding to her in acknowledgment.

"Have you seen Leya?" She hiccups softly before letting out a small laugh. He shakes his head before turning to his friend.

"Seen her friend?" His friend shakes his head as well and he turns his gaze back to her.

"Go look around. Couldn't have gone too far. She shouldn't have left you like this anyways." She frowns at that before shaking her head.

"I left her, got thirsty. The nice bartender gave me water with no drugs." She giggles before turning around and pointing to the man standing behind the counter, his eyes already fixed on her.

Harry leans slightly to stare at the man before looking back to her and sighing in annoyance as he stands up. He tells his friends he'll be right back as he walks the couple steps to stand in front of the intoxicated girl.

"C'mon then, let's see if we can find her." His voice gruff as she turns around and begins to stumble her way through the crowd, bumping into a guy and causing him to spill his drink.

"Fucking bitch. You owe me a drink!" He watches as she flinches slightly at the already drunk man's tone.

Harry can't help but to frown as he steps forward and stares at the man with anger clouding his eyes.

"Talk to her with fucking respect, douchebag." He says as he steps back and reaches into his pocket to grab his wallet, opening it up and grabs a couple dollars and roughly hands it to him.

"Now shut the fuck up and get your drink." He says and walks over to Y/N and lays his hand on her shoulder as he pushes her to the bar gently. The girl giggles and thanks Harry for saving her from the 'scary man' as they make it to the counter.

"Are you ready for another one, pretty girl?" The waiter asks and she shakes her head softly. Harry can't help but to clear his throat in an attempt to get the attention off of the girl beside him.

"We're actually looking for her friend, have you seen her?" The bartender's eyes flick back and forth between Y/N and Harry before nodding his head.

"Yeah, she went into the bathroom with some guy a little bit ago." Harry scoffs as he grabs Y/N's hand and leads her to the door.

She squeals before she smacks Harry's hand.

"Hey! Harry! Slow down! Wait! She's in there!! Can't leave her!" She yells, but Harry shows no sign of stopping. His hair flows in the air behind him as he drags her to the door, the sound of her heels clicking against the wooden floor just barely audible over to the sound of the drums on the stage. He doesn't stop until they've made it outside the door and he stops abruptly and runs his hand through his hair.

"Can't leave Leys, Harry. Love her. She's my best friend! We gotta go back!" She huffs and he shakes his head.

"No can do, lala. Your best friend is hooking up with some random fucking guy instead of making sure you're okay. M'taking you home. What's your address?" He takes out his phone and opens the *Maps* app, she does nothing but glare at him.

"Don't want you, want Leya." She says as she turns around and heads to the door.

He rolls his eyes as he moves to stand in front of her and softly places his hands on her shoulders.

"C'mon Y/N. M'not gonna hurt you. Just let me take you home." He says, his voice surprisingly soft and she shakes her head and crosses her arms.

"You're not Leya." He rolls his eyes at this.

"M'doing both of us a favor by continuing these sessions, it's the least you can do. You're drunk off your fucking ass and your best friend doesn’t seem too worried about you. C'mon and let me take you home. Can you not be so stubborn for once, you're in no condition to be anywhere but in your own bed." Her bottom lip juts out and begins to wobble and he sighs.

"Leya cares 'bout me, she's worried right now. Let me inside, you don't care. Just gonna hold this over my head tomorrow." She says as she reaches into her purse for her phone.

She quickly grabs it and unlocks it, her finger clicking on the phone icon and clicking on Leya's name and clicking the speaker icon. The phone rings several times and Y/N bites her bottom lip nervously, the time taking forever with each second that the phone doesn't click and her friend's voice comes through. After a while the phone goes to voicemail and she can't help the few tears that fall from her eyes and onto her cheeks. She dejectedly nods her head and follows Harry to his and she only manages to bump into a few cars along the way.

Harry sighs before coming next to her and ever so gently wraps his arm around her waist, not touching her but enough to keep her from stumbling too much and setting off someone's car. It's almost too easy for her to melt into his hold as her head comes to rest on his shoulder and wraps her own arm around him, she's too far gone to take note of the way his body tenses up underneath her touch. It takes the both of them longer to get to his car than it would if it was just him because of the way she keeps stumbling over cracks in the road or just her own two feet. He opens the door for her and allows her to get in and sets his jacket on her lap just in case, he's careful when strapping her in - trying his best not to touch her too much and announcing his every move for her to nod and giggle.

- - - -

After a couple wrong directions from Y/N talking over the voice coming from the speaker, Harry manages to pull into her driveway and parks the car. He gets out after telling her to stay put, walking around the car to her side, opening the door and unbuckling her, being gentle with her as he helps her out of the car and towards her house. When they reach the front door, he taps her on the shoulder and nods to the door.

"You got your keys?" His voice comes out softer than usual, taking on a more gentle tone with the girl and it only confuses him more. He hates that he’s trying to be gentle with her, how he can see that she’s more vulnerable now and doesn’t want to upset her. Y/N nods before reaching into her purse and surprisingly fast she pulls out her keychain, the various keys jingling against each other as she uses the other hand to pick at each key.

Right when her fingers begin to wrap around her house key, they slip through her grasp and make a loud jingle as they hit the floor.

"Whoopsie." She giggles as she bends down, Harry follows suit as his own hand reaches out to grab it and he manages to beat her to it as his right hand wraps around the keychain. They both stand up at the same time causing them both to hit their head against the other, she frowns as one hand comes up to rub her head. Harry can't help but to crack a smile at the sight before he shakes his head and unlocks her door, opening it fully as his arm wraps around her waist.

His fingers are just barely touching her dress as he guides her in the house, quietly shutting the door before asking him to lead her into her own room. She giggles softly as she nods, her own hand coming to rest on top of his as they walk into her room. Harry's not disgusted by her room, in fact it reminds him of earlier years, the various posters of plants and paintings, post it notes with words of encouragement and a decent sized calendar line the plain white walls, her beige comforter set contrasts the soft pink carpet that rests underneath her bed and he can spot a flower vase full of various flowers sitting on top of her dresser accompanied by other small decorations.

Her room just screams… her, it's something that you'd expect to see from her and he can't complain. For as long as he can remember she's always been so predictable when it comes to anything really, and so as he leads her to the bed her door catches on the leg of her dresser causing her to begin to fall forward. She squeals as she prepares for the hard impact against the floor but it never comes, Harry's arms are wrapped around her securely, his fingers digging into her waist as he pulls her up.

"For fucks sake, slow down will you. I need you alive so I can pass this stupid test. Don't want you to damage that useful brain of yours huh?" He can't help to add a teasing tone to his voice and she shakes her head.

"Can you get dressed by yourself?" He asks and she shakes her head.

He quickly heads to her dresser and waits for instructions that never seem to come, so slowly he opens one of her drawers - wary not to open one he definitely does not want to open, and he's met with a collection of hoodies and large shirts. So he quickly grabs one and tosses it to her, not bothering to look back as he speaks.

"D'ya need shorts or anything?" He's met with silence and he turns around to see her gaze on him, her features soft and a hint of smile plays at her lips.

"Y/N. Did ya hear me?" He says and still no response, so he steps closer and bends down so they're eye level causing her to break from her trance.

"Huh, what?" She slurs as she blinks fast, her breath fanning over his face so he quickly leans back.

"D'ya need shorts to sleep in?" She shakes her head as her cheeks fills with heat.

"What were you staring at?" He knows he doesn't care but his curiosity gets the best of him.

"You're jus' really pretty, s'all." She replies, her mouth moves before he brain can process what she’s saying.

He shakes his head at her before heading to her door.

"M'pretty now? Be careful Y/N or someone might think y'like me. But thank you, I guess one might say you looked pretty tonight as well, not me though." He says as he walks out the door and closes it behind it. Her head is swimming as she stands up and begins to tug her dress off her body. It takes her a couple of attempts but she finally manages to drag the garment off her frame and she tosses it onto the edge of her bed before slipping on the shirt Harry tossed at her.

She quickly sits on her bed and grabs the closest thing to her to help cover her bare legs, resulting in his jacket covering the upper half as she tells him to come in. The door squeaks as it opens and he sticks his head in before walking inside. His eyes flick to his jacket covering her bare thighs and one hand clenches into a fist.

"Harry?" His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of her voice and he opens his eyes to stare at her.

"Why don't you like me?" She tilts her head forward as she gathers her hair into a bun.

"Never said I didn't lala, don't go into that big head of yours." He leans backwards against her door frame and watches as she takes a big breath.

"You always get irritated in my presence and you're more mean to me than anyone else." She begins to fiddle with her fingers as she ducks her head down.

Harry sighs before coming to sit next to her on the bed, choosing to sit on the farthest side to protect anything from happening.

"All I'm gonna say is I don't not like you. Now come lay down so I can leave." He says and stands up, pulling her blankets down and helps her get into bed, making sure she's covered fully. His head is tilted down as he finishes the last touches and she turns her head to the side to tell him thank you and apologize but she's met with the softness of his lips. It's quick and most definitely was an accident by the way he jerks back as if he got burned.

Y/N lets out a nervous giggle before she sits up, her shirt beginning to slip down her shoulder and Harry frowns.

"I'm sorry, so sorry! I actually wanted to apologize when I turned. So uh sorry about everything, fuck I'm sorry." Her mouth is moving a mile a minute, the words slurring together as they spill from her lips.

Harry shakes his head as he exhales a shaky breath, he quickly walks out the room and attempts to make his way into her bathroom, opening up one cabinet to grab the small bottle of pain pills and walks into her kitchen. He opens all the cabinets and searches for a spare cup, quickly spotting it as he fills it halfway and heads back into her room, quietly setting both items down on the wooden bedside table and makes his way out the door and into his car.

His mind is racing the whole drive there and the only that he can think of is how pretty she looked and the way her lips felt against his, he knows he's fucked up by choosing to help her and now look what happened. As his foot presses down onto the gas pedal and the car begins to drive faster, cursing himself the whole ride there and he hopes she won't remember any of this in the morning.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #harry edward styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles one shot #harrystyles #— 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒

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osohchoso · 3 days ago

Text

Blood and Chains

Chapter Three- Coffee and Pizza

Choso x F!reader

Previous | Chapter Index | Chapter 4 coming soon!

Content: very fluffy slice-of-life chapter, friendships, multiple pov, protective Choso, comfort, the creepy pizza man

˚　　　　✦　　　.　Choso's POV　 . ✦　　 . ★⋆.

A few more days pass by and Choso still hasn't sent the first text. Not because he didn't want to talk to you, but simply because he couldn't remember how to start a new text message. He's fine with responding to an incoming text, but starting a new one is a whole other story. He curses himself for not putting his number in your phone too. Learning how to navigate the world's technology has been harder than some of the special grade curses he's faced in the past four years.

He sits on the couch in his apartment, a random nature documentary playing on the TV in front of him. Barely paying attention, just using it for some comforting background noise as he stares at your contact in his phone. His fingers hover over the different options, wanting to guess which one will start a message. A worrying thought of pressing the wrong option and deleting your number all together passes through him, there isn't a guarantee he will accidentally run into you a third time. He knows you are probably disappointed that he hasn't reached out, or maybe you have forgotten all about him by now. He lets out a sigh and locks his phone, setting it face down on the couch.

CLICK! He hears a key twist in the front door, turning his head to watch as Yuji walks in. His brother instantly kicks off his shoes and drops his backpack by the door, letting out an exasperated sigh. Since the night Choso found you in the woods, Yuji has been off on a mission several cities away chasing down a group of sneaky special grades.

Yuji makes his way over to the couch and flops down, resting his head against the armrest and swinging his legs up onto Choso’s lap like a footstool. He offers his little brother a warm smile in return.

“How was your mission?” Choso asks.

“Exhausting!” Yuji groans dramatically. “I’m so glad to finally be back home” He then delves into the details about how him, Megumi and Nobara pushed their limits each day. Exorcizing a group of curses that were running from city to city. Thankfully, there were no injuries between the three of them. Choso listens intently, nodding from time to time, making sure to give Yuji his undivided attention.

“Nobara and Megumi are coming over tonight, we need a day to celebrate and relax after this mission” Yuji finishes.

“Hmmm…sounds like a good idea. What should we do tonight?” Choso asks. He loves hanging out with Yuji’s friends. Ever since the brothers connected with each other, they always made sure Choso felt welcome. It was nice, considering Choso doesn't really have any friends he can call his own. Ideas run through his head for tonight. Movies, takeout, game night…the options are endless.

“Actually…” Yuji’s sheepish voice brought him back to the present. Choso looks over at his brother and notices how he looks away, avoiding his gaze. Choso tilts his head and blinks at him, confused.

“I was hoping it would just be the three of us tonight…” Yuji continues, pulling his legs off of Choso and sitting up straight on the couch to look at him. “The three of us haven't had a day where it's just us hanging out in forever…please forgive me big bro” Yuji apologizes, closing his eyes and pressing his hands together while he begs for forgiveness. Choso was never upset, could never even stay upset at him.

“Don’t worry about me…it’s fine.” Choso reaches over and pats Yuji’s head. “You're allowed to have some alone time with your friends. I’m sure you don’t want your big brother hovering around you forever.” he chuckles. Yuji lets out a sigh of relief and opens his eyes again, thankful for not hurting his feelings.

“Maybe I’ll see if my new acquaintance wants to hang out tonight too” Choso smiles, this could be the perfect excuse to text you. And now Yuji is here to help make that text happen. Choso explains briefly about his meeting with you, how he got your number.

“OOOOOO!” Yuji teases. “You have a girl’s number!” he pokes Choso in the cheek with his index finger. Choso swats his hand away, blushing slightly.

“It’s not like that! I hardly know her” Choso protests. “Just promise me you’ll keep this between us. I don't want Nobara spreading rumors to every Jujutsu sorcerer we know” He also wants to keep you very far away from the world of curses and he is taking what feels like a huge risk to even see you. Choso holds his pinky up, which Yuji instantly locks his pinky around his.

“I promise.” Yuji smiles, and the two pull their fingers apart. “I’m just glad you're open to meeting new people again. After everything that happened with-”

“Don’t say her name” Choso interrupts him before he can finish, his eyes darken with anger. The black mark over his nose slightly changing its shape uncontrollably. “I don't want to hear her name ever again.” Yuji looks at him guilty, mouthing a quick 'I’m sorry'. Choso takes a deep breath to calm himself and relaxes his face, the black mark returning to its usual thick rectangle. He shakes his head to dismiss the painful memories before they can surface.

“This girl is different…” he trails off. “And I can't stay your shadow forever Yuji, I need to start finding my own friends too I guess.” Choso looks down at his hands as he admits this. He knew he would have to accept this one day or another. One day his brother will move out on his own to explore his own path in life. Then Choso will start to see him less and less. He hopes they won't grow apart and knows Yuji will always make an effort to spend time with him, but he's afraid of losing his brother. His only family he has.

“I think making new friends is a great idea, brother.” Yuji pats Choso on his back, flashing his unforgettable warm smile. It’s contagious, causing Choso to smile back.

“Okay…I need your help.” Choso picks his phone back up, unlocking it and opening your contact info again. “Don’t be mad Yuji…I forgot how to start a new text message again.” Choso laughs as he shows the screen to his brother. Yuji rolls his eyes, tapping the speech bubble icon on the contact page, effortlessly opening to a blank message. A line flashes in the empty text area, beckoning Choso to type.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　Your POV　 . ✦　　 . ★⋆.

You lean against the counter of the cafe, your shift dragging on. Only a few hours left until 5pm, closing time. Though the cafe really starts to die down after 3pm each day, currently there isn't a single customer. You wish you could close up early and call it a day, but there is always a chance of someone coming in for a late-night caffeine rush. You glance over at your younger coworker Sara, texting away on her phone. Her fingers typing furiously as she makes plans for tonight, Friday night. You sigh and pull your own phone out, knowing there isn't going to be anything. Ever since you gave Choso your number, you keep checking for a message, hoping for something that never arrives. Defeated, you slide the phone in the back pocket of your jeans. You frown. You were used to men ghosting you, but this time it hurt more for some reason.

BUZZ! Your phone vibrates in your pocket, startling you out of your self-pity. You quickly pull it back out. Unlocking the screen and staring at the message from the unsaved number.

Unknown number: Hey

You stare at it in disbelief. Is this him? Did he actually decide to text me? Excitement bubbles in your stomach as you type your response. He didn’t forget about you after all.

You: Hello, who is this?

You send your response, though you already know the answer. The next text comes instantly.

Unknown Number: Choso

You smile to yourself as you read his name again. You save his number in your contacts immediately. Sara looks over, a teasing smirk on her face.

“Who are you texting, Y/N?” she inches closer.

“None of your business,” you say, though your words have no bite to them. Sara just laughs and looks back at her own phone. You roll your eyes at your nosey coworker. She loves to gossip, loves to give unsolicited advice and loves to play matchmaker. It's annoying sometimes but in a little sister sort of way. You look back to your phone, noticing another text from Choso.

Choso: What are you doing?

You: Working :p

Choso: Oh…what do you do?

You: I work at Papa Coffee. It’s a cute café, you should come try it sometime.

Your heart races as you wait for his next text. The thought of seeing him with his silly pigtails in the cozy café decorated by your art, it warms your heart.

Choso: I looked it up, it's not far from my apartment actually.

Choso: Hey, want to hang out tonight? After you're done working?

You hold your breath as you read the last text. Hang out, he wants to hang out with you. Tonight! Yes, yes, yes! You say inside your head. You hear Sara giggle as she sees your eyes light up, smile growing bigger.

You: Sure, what do you want to do? :)

Choso: Soo…I don’t want to seem weird. But my brother is kicking me out for the night LOL. I can bring a movie if we can hang at your place??

My place? You think about your tiny little apartment. It seems risky to bring him to your home before you even really get to know him, he could be a murderer for all you know. Or am I just a booty call? You find yourself wondering. It's such an odd excuse to use to invite yourself over, but part of you pushes the worry away. You trust this odd stranger. So, you decide to take a leap of faith, putting all your trust into Choso.

You: Sure, I get out at 5. I’ll send you my address!

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

Time seems to move even slower now that you have plans to look forward to. A small rush of customers come in for some tea lattes, giving something for you and Sara to pass the time with. You wave to the customers as they leave with their to go cups, thanking them for their business. You check the time, 45 minutes left.

“Hey, I’m going to take a 15-minute break before we start hardcore cleaning.” You call to Sara as you hang the brown apron up on the wall, exchanging it for the bag dangling from the hook. She nods in understanding. You don’t smoke but your boss still wants everyone to take advantage of using their break times. Even if your break is just you sitting down to rest your feet and draw or have a quick snack. You walk over to the small seat in the corner, pulling out your sketchbook. You tap your pencil against your pursed lips, deep in thought.

“Welcome in” Sara’s customer service voice gets your attention. You glance up to see who walks through the front door, assessing if she needs help. Your eyes land on him. His puffy pigtails bouncing as he enters the cafe. He stands there, looking around, completely ignoring Sara as she tries to assist him.

“Choso?” you call surprised from the corner. What is he doing here? We planned to meet at my place, after I was done working. He turns as you call his name, spotting where you sit in the corner. He calls your name softly and waves, making his way toward the table and sitting in the seat across from you. You notice the ultra comfy clothes he wears, baggy black jeans and a gray sweatshirt.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, a soft smirk gracing your face at this surprise.

“I know I know, you're still working. I just got bored…and my brother’s friends arrived so it was time I left to give them space.” he leans back in his chair, taking in the sights of the café. His dark rimmed eyes roaming over every detail. The rustic interior, the twinkling fairy lights, your art framed on the walls. He looks back at you. “I don’t mind waiting,” he assures you. You set your sketchbook on the table and stand up.

“Well since you came all this way, let me make you a drink. My treat, a way of paying you back for my cab the other day. What would you like?” you offer.

“You really don’t need to worry about paying me back…but I'll never say no to a treat. Surprise me” he smirks.

You stand and walk back to the counter, hearing Choso’s thick shoes clomp behind you. You grab your apron and slip it on, tying it tight around your waist. Choso leans forward on the counter, resting his chin in his hand as he watches intently.

You grab a ceramic mug and begin to brew the espresso. While you wait, you steam some milk in a small metal pitcher. Your mind wanders, thinking of what kind of latte art you should surprise him with. An idea strikes you, it's going to be perfect.

Picking the mug of espresso up, you tilt it slightly to the side. The warm roasted aroma filling your nostrils. You start to swirl the steamed milk into the cup. Then lift the pitcher up to create more detailed swirls and blobs on the top. You are so engrossed in making this coffee masterpiece you don't notice the way Choso eyes your every move, curious as to what you're about to present to him. Then you pick up a toothpick, adjusting the way the foam sits on top to create some finishing details. You set the mug down and admire your work, sneaking a picture for the cafe’s instagram page before you hand it off to Choso.

You smile and set the mug down in front of him. Being made of coffee and steamed milk, it isn't the most detailed design but you can easily tell what it is. A round head with two swirly pigtails, the coffee showing underneath to create a distinct nose tattoo. Choso looks down at his coffee portrait, you see a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

“Is this…me?” he asks in disbelief, not looking up from the mug.

“Yup” you beam at him, extremely proud of this creation. He continues to inspect it, like glancing away will cause it to vanish.

“You're an amazing artist.” he finally looks up from the mug. You can't stop your cheeks warming at his praises, tucking a hair behind your ear shyly. “I don't even want to drink it, it would ruin the art” he looks back down at the cup.

“Thanks, but please enjoy it before it gets cold. I took a picture anyway.” You smile, watching as he picks the latte up for the first sip. His eyes widen as the taste crashes onto his tongue.

“Wow…that's a damn good coffee” He says softly, his tongue poking out to swipe over his soft lips. He glances over at a pile of prints you've made that sit in front of the cash register. His fingers start to mindlessly flip through them, admiring each one while sipping his drink. He stops when he sees a familiar scene. The rabbit in the woods. He pulls it out of the stack.

“You finished it.” he remarked. The color of the background is vibrant and green, the shadows of the trees stretching tall and ominous. But the center, that's the focal point. A small white rabbit, so soft you could feel it through the picture, its pink nose touching the lavender petal of the flower. He continues to look at it, warmth glowing in his dark eyes. You say nothing, just silently watch him admire your art. It's weird, how this comfortable silence sets over the two of you like you have known each other for decades.

“Ok enough yapping, let's clean up so I can go home” Sara’s no-nonsense tone interrupts the silence. You nod, ready to finish and head home with Choso.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

5 pm on the dot, You and Sara make for the doors of the coffee shop. Choso stands outside, his backpack over his shoulder, waiting for the two of you to finish the closing tasks.

“Oh wait!” Sara suddenly says before you flick off the light switch. She runs behind the counter, grabbing an envelope underneath. Thrusting it into your hands when she returns to your side.

“This is your art sales for today,” she explains. You cock your head, confused. You didn't realize anyone bought prints today. Sara points to Choso standing outside. “Your friend there bought the newest one, the little bunny, while you were in the back cleaning. He couldn't stop looking at it” She giggles.

“Oh! I had no idea. Thanks Sara” you smile, peeking inside the envelope. There was a lot of cash in here. “How much did you charge him?” You hiss, appalled. Stuffing the envelope in your bag.

“It wasn't me! He insisted!” Sara holds her hands up. “Look, I told him the price you had listed and he said, ‘that's way too cheap’ and paid double.” You can't help but giggle as you hear her deep imitation voice of Choso. You know you price your prints low, that's just how it works as a starting artist. Though you'll have to find a way to thank him for his generosity later.

You finish locking up the shop, double and triple checking everything is done properly, then say your goodbyes to Sara for the night as she turns in the opposite direction. You walk back up to Choso.

“Hope we didn’t make you wait too long.” you smile.

“Not at all,” he responds, his face showing no emotion at all.

“My apartment isn't too far from here either. Makes coming to work easy.” you start to walk down the street, beckoning him to follow. “You said you live around here too?” you ask curiously.

“About 10 minutes that way” he points behind us, the same direction Sara is walking. He’s been so close this whole time and you had no idea. It's crazy that you have never run into each other before.

You pass the time on this walk while talking about your day, you were honestly so nervous to be alone with him, you couldn't stop. One of your anxious habits, but he never made you uncomfortable, never judged. Just would listen, nod and hum in agreement as you talked. He was a great listener, always a man of few words himself. You wonder if he's just as nervous to be here with you as you are, but his facial expressions give nothing away. 7 minutes later you see your apartment building on the horizon. You reach in your bag and fish for your keys inside.

“What about you Choso? What do you do for work?” you ask as you continue searching for your keys, coming up to the steps of the brick complex.

“Hmmm…I would rather not talk about my job” he grumbles slightly, dodging the question completely. You are still curious but decide to press more another day. Maybe he had a really rough day today and doesn't want to think about it. You decided to keep tonight light-hearted and fun, no serious questions. Not yet.

You lead him through the main doors and up the stairs to the third floor. Your hand finally finds the cool metal of the key buried inside your bag. Unlocking and pushing the door open, unveiling a very messy apartment. There haven't been any visitors over in a while.

“Close your eyes!” you blurt out. A rumble of a laugh escapes his throat, but he does as you tell him. Closing his eyes as he waits in the doorway. You quickly rush around, throwing away take-out containers and picking up the pile of clothes you left in the bathroom. You leave the canvas you were painting on the dining room table, still needing to dry, but rinse out the dirty paint water cups you had lying around. One last look around and you decide this place looks…acceptable.

“Ok, you can open your eyes and enter” you call to him. He walks into your space, closing the door gently behind him. “I know it’s not a lot…but it's cozy.” You admit to him as his eyes wander over the interior. It's a small one-bedroom apartment with one bathroom and a combined kitchen and living room area. It's always been enough for you, a place to call your own.

“It’s nice” he gives a small smile as he walks over to your couch, plopping down like he's been here before. You quickly excuse yourself to the bedroom to change. Slipping on a comfortable pair of pink sweatpants and a loose worn-out band tee. You sit down next to him, being careful to keep a respectable space.

“Are you hungry?” you ask, pulling out your phone. He looks over and nods slowly. “Pizza?” you almost see a glimmer in his eyes at the word. You chuckle to yourself and open up the website for the local pizza place down the road. He scoots closer to look over your shoulder at your phone. His breath warm against your ear.

“Hey, that's my favorite place too!” he exclaims in excitement, the most emotion he's allowed himself to show all day. “My little brother and I order from there once a week. Get a supreme pizza, no mushroom extra onions” He's close to drooling as he speaks about his favorite order. The sight of this man, normally so stoic, getting so passionate about his pizza is honestly so cute. He notices you staring at him, wearing a smile. He takes a moment to compose himself again, clearing his throat and looking away. “I mean...only if you like that sort of thing”

You chuckle lightly. Then tap the options on the screen and place the order. 30 minutes.

“Hey! You should have let me pay” he objects.

“Nope! You way overpaid for the print you bought at the cafe.” you scold him. The tips of his ears turn bright red and he looks away. You caught him. He had no idea that Sara told you it was him who bought that cute bunny picture.

“Well…maybe you should charge your worth. Then I won't have to overpay” He grumbles under his breath. He acts like such a tough guy on the outside, but you see his soft interior shine through with each passing second.

You kill more time by chatting with Choso. Talking to him is so easy, it comes naturally. You feel as if you have known him your entire life. His dark eyes remained locked on yours the entire time. He asks lots of questions about your life and your passions. You show him your art account on Twitter and hand your phone to him, watching as he scrolls through. Various drawings of your favorite anime characters, replicated in your art style. A knock on your door startles the both of you. Pizza is here.

You stand from the couch and walk toward the door, glancing back to see Choso still engrossed in scrolling through the art on your phone. Opening the door, you see the delivery man on the other side. He looks at the receipt, repeating your name then looks up. Eyes roaming over your body uncomfortably. You nod at the sound of your name, reaching out for the pizza. He turns away, keeping it out of your reach.

“You're a pretty one,” he smirks, peering past you. From where he stands, he's unable to see inside your apartment and assumes you're all alone. “There is no way a girl like you can eat all this pizza by yourself. Need some company, dollface?” he licks his lips, looking at you like prey.

“No…I’m Fine-” he interrupts you by reaching out and grabbing your wrist with one hand, his other balancing the pizza box.

“Nonsense…” he tightens his grip, an evil grimace curling on his lips. You try to yank your hand away but he has you captured too tightly. Blood pumping through you, roaring in your ears, you freeze. A deer caught in the headlights. Through your panic, you don’t notice the quiet footsteps of your muscular friend coming behind you. Not until you hear his hand grip the front door, the wood groaning under his strength. You look up, Choso stands behind you glaring down at the delivery man threateningly. The man looks back, releasing your hand quickly. Fear crossed his face as Choso continued to glare.

“Pizza” Choso commands, his deep voice echoing in the hallway. The man hesitates for a moment before thrusting it into your hands. The air between the two men grows thick, tense. So you retreat back inside, wanting to stay far away from what might unfold next. Setting the pizza on your counter you peek back over by the door. Seeing Choso with his arms folded, talking sternly. The man then nods and bows apologetically before sprinting toward the exit of the complex. Choso closes the door, locking it, then walks back to where you stand in the kitchen.

“Are you okay?” he asks softly, he holds out his hand, palms up, in front of the wrist the man grabbed. He looks up at you, concern swimming in the dark orbs of his eyes. You hesitate before placing your wrist into his hand.

“I’m fine. Thank you” you whisper, trying to sound brave. It’s obvious how scared and rattled you really were. You don’t trust most men, they are all creeps with bad intentions. All except for the one standing in front of you, who holds your wrist so gingerly. His rough thumb lightly gliding over where the man gripped you, soothing any remaining pain. You don’t pull away, allowing his touch to calm your heart rate. All your worries melting away.

“Pizza will get cold” you whisper, staring at his fingers. Part of you doesn’t want to eat anymore, the warm meal tainted with the memory of this encounter. Your stomach growls loudly. The other part of you clearly craves this. Choso releases his hand from you, his face turning to his normal unbothered look. Your wrist now feels slightly cold, missing his warm touch.

You each fill your plates with a few slices of pizza. Then make your way to the couch in the living room. He reaches into the backpack, pulling out a DVD case.

“Movie time?” he asks, holding up the DVD. You read the title.

“Human Earthworm 4?” You ask, tilting your head to the side. “Never heard of it.” He hands it to you, which you pop into your PS4 and plop back down next to Choso.

“Yeah…my brother has been asking me to watch this for years now.” he laughs warmly. “He told me to watch it tonight, I guess it doesn't matter if we haven't seen parts 1 through 3”

You both settle next to each other on the couch, you look down at your pizza. Bell peppers. You hate them. Picking them each off one by one, you place them on top of Choso’s pizza. He eyes you, skeptical.

“You don’t like peppers? We didn’t have to order this pizza…we could have gotten something you liked instead.”

“You just seemed so excited about this.” you giggle. “More peppers for you I guess” you shrug. He simply rolls his eyes at you but doesn't complain. The room is filled with the sounds of chewing and the strange movie on the TV. You find yourself instinctually shifting closer and closer to Choso, until your shoulders touch.

Twenty minutes into this movie, this god-awful movie. You are confused by the plot and the worms really gross you out. You sneak a glance at Choso, wanting to glimpse his reaction to the film. As you turn your head, he stands up without a word, walking over to the TV and turning it off. His eyes meet yours, a blank expression you can't read. You burst out laughing, which must have been infectious because his laughter followed suit.

“I’m going to kill Yuji” he wipes a tear from his eye. You can’t control your laughter, buckling over on the couch. That movie was seriously so bad.

“Next time, I’ll pick the movie.” You giggle after composing yourself again.

You shift into playing a board game for the rest of the night. You learned that Choso has a fondness for games just as you do. The game Life being a favorite for both. You play games, chat and listen to music together. You see more and more of that soft side of Choso, seeing him open up slightly. Seeing his playful humor shine through his usual quiet demeanor. It’s addicting to watch his personality unfold before you.

As the night winds down, the two of you settle into the couch. A documentary on dinosaurs playing quietly on the TV. Choso fights his tired eyes to stay open, he planned on going back home tonight once his brother’s friends left. You pull a blanket over the two of you, huddling up next to him. That seemed to be the last straw, accepting his fate, his eyes fluttered shut. No longer able to fight sleep. You take a moment to watch him. His beautiful peaceful face. His head flops down onto your shoulder, his pigtails tickling the skin of your neck. Butterflies take flight inside your stomach.

“Choso?” you whisper softly to him.

“Mmm…” he murmurs, adjusting his head to get even more comfortable against the dip between your shoulder and neck. You decide to let him sleep against you for a bit, he always looks so tired he must need a good night’s rest. You lean your head onto his, loving the warmth radiating between your bodies.

“What were you even doing in Shibuya that night…” you whisper, wondering out loud. That moment, a moment led by fear and worry became a turning point in your life. That moment led to now, to a sweet sleepy Choso snoozing away on your shoulder. You don’t expect him to respond, but he continues to surprise you.

“Saving you” he breathes quietly in response, you're not even sure if he's awake. If he's talking in his sleep or if he knows what he's saying. Either way, you smile. You had your suspicions that he's the reason you were alive. To you, he's a hero.

dividers by @anitalenia

A/N: thanks for reading! :) I'm trying to work on uploading everything I have posted on my Ao3 so expect chapter 4 later this week too!

Also! If anyone wants to be added to a taglist for this fic let me know!

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corviiids · 2 days ago

Text

customary sparknotes for chapter 10

nobody asked this time i just got shit to say. don't read this post unless you've read chapter 10 of my akechi palace au fic "as you like it" because it will make 0 sense forever. here we go

the code for this part took way longer than i want to admit for it being so simple because it just kept breaking in really stupid ways and then it didn't work on mobile. it's fine. it's fine now. tell me if it's broken. don't tell me

i had this dream sequence part drafted back when i posted chapter 9. the thing that took so long was the action sequence, which is ALWAYS the thing that takes so long. i finished my first draft of this chapter about a month ago sitting in a hotel bar, and i got it to where it is now a few days ago sitting in the same hotel bar, so, thanks to that hotel bar and its fantastic jalapeno cocktail and very patient staff for sponsoring this chapter. not sponsoring actually the cocktails are expensive i sponsored myself. anyway

end of dumb preamble? beginning of dumb amble

this first bit takes place in ren's mind as a dream sequence after he gets hit with the sleep effect, basically. parts of it are laid out in a sort of mockup of a stageplay script, although obviously this isn't how you'd write a real script haha. i wanted to play with, like... akechi's palace is a theatre, but he and ren have a lot in common. in his own way, ren is a performer, too.

the scenes with the phantom thieves are all in past tense, which is how the flashbacks in this fic have been written. the recurring motif is how the phantom thieves interact with ren, mostly via his glasses, generally along the theme of how they see him. i didn't really make this explicit, but in all of these scenes, none of the thieves look him directly in the eye.

in the game, ren usually has two or three dialogue options. his narration in this moments are the options he didn't choose. he always chooses the one which is the least direct and the most deflective, because in these moments he is feeling vulnerable and being honest is too overwhelming. by the way, "don't look at me like that" is text that appears in one of p5's menus:

which i just find interesting.

the scenes with akechi, by contrast, are told in present tense. they're also rife with unreality. the setting changes as though it's a dream, which of course it is. it's unclear whether these scenes are an amalgam of things that happened that ren is mixing and remembering oddly, or if he's conjured them.

ok let's look at the script scenes as well. they're basically all retellings of ren's run-in with shido.

the idea is that in tokyo, ren spends a lot of time lying in bed replaying those moments in his head, wondering how else it could have gone. no matter how many times he plays it out, no matter how he thinks about regretting what he did, walking away, making a different call,

he always makes the same choice.

do you ever think about how disproportionate that trumped up assault charge was? ren, frustrated and bitter, has to wonder - if he was just going to get pulled up on assault anyway, what difference would it have made if he'd actually just fucking done it? at least gotten to do the thing he got busted for. for catharsis, or whatever.

unlike the phantom thieves, akechi DOES look ren in the eye

he doesn't let ren get away with dodging his questions, and he repeatedly asks ren what he actually thinks

and with akechi, ren is able to say what he's really thinking.

ok now the rest of the amble

i love writing a fic which has akechi's name plastered all over it and then repeatedly going SURPRISE! this is about ren. it's about ren.

ren's been really struggling with this whole hero thing a lot. i think this battle is where it really comes to a head, because all the shit akechi was giving him in the last chapter about the ethics of stealing a heart is really getting to him. he's wondering whether he's really doing this for akechi or if it's for his own satisfaction, plus the burden of being the leader of the phantom thieves weighs heavier and heavier because if he's not doing this for akechi then that means he's doing it for himself, which means he can't play this as self-sacrificial or selfless, which means his team is putting themselves at risk for him. he's disoriented and he gets put out of commission for his trouble, which just puts his team further at risk while he spirals and tries to do right by everyone. it's a chance for the phantom thieves to step up and save him - as their friend, not their leader. i love the phantom thieves and their dorky power of friendship.

i also really liked coming up with cognitive joker. the idea of the VIP Box being inhabited solely by shido and joker was super fun to me. shido is gone from akechi's cognition, which begs the question of why the box still exists if it was allegedly only there to seat the VIP, the person at the centre of akechi's struggles - obviously it's because the distortion has grown far beyond shido, who is no longer the only person akechi performs for. joker isn't there as a guest. he broke in, and he's unkillable. by the way, his hair is based on the persona super live key art from 2019:

look at his swoopy hair. isn't he cute? i wanna squish his cheeks.

how about that awakening

okay, here's a fun fact about the fucking awakening. here's a FEW fun facts.

1. i came up with the idea of fusing robin hood and loki into a third persona before i had even published chapter 1 (way back in 2019), which means i had that idea long before persona 5 royal was ever announced.

when p5r's marketing started up and was like "we're gonna fuse everyone's first and second personae for a third persona!" i was like (throws a chair at the wall)

2. my first idea for the third persona, back at that point, was for akechi's third persona to be adraestia. she was a greek goddess who later became identified with nemesis/rhamnousia, the goddess of retribution for hubris.

then fire emblem three houses came out, and i realised adraestia was only going to call to mind the black eagles. lol. i was like ok, that's fine, it doesn't really matter, and if it bothers me a lot, i can switch to naming her rhamnousia or something.

then THIS YEAR, i decided to check whether nemesis/rhamnousia existed in smt lore as a shadow already. and as it turns OUT, i had forgotten a VERY KEY FACT ABOUT PERSONA 3.

SHE'S TAKEN. BY A DIFFERENT JUSTICE KID. so i had to change tacks again.

this really left me floundering for a second i gotta say. and then i remembered that last year, i'd written a scene in a fit of pure self-indulgence in which akechi starts telling ren all about the iliad. (this scene appears in chapter 8.) when i wrote that scene, i hadn't really been thinking that hard about how it was going to affect the plot. i just thought achilles and akechi had some interesting similarities, and also, i wanted to talk about the iliad, so i wrote the scene and figured i could cut it if it stuck out too much. anyway, i remembered that scene and was like, holy shit hang on, i have an entire thing already set up for a mythological figure who represents akechi's soul. and it actually works way better than rhamnousia, whose connection with akechi's struggle here is pretty surface-level in comparison. here's a line from my planning doc:

pretty cool how in royal he literally does have twin fates: short and blazing or long and unremarkable

so that's how akhilleus became akechi's third persona. wow! what a happy accident! i mean im a genius and it was all planned from the start obviously. it just goes to show that sometimes you go on a stupid little infodump and it ends up solving a plot problem you didn't foresee an entire year later. fixation works.

akhilleus himself is really cool to me. if i had a persona, achilles would be mine, so i hope akechi fucking appreciates that i've donated him to the goro akechi cause. idk if any artists are keen on doing character designs for personae but of the suite of art i daydream about commissioning for this fic, key art for akhilleus is definitely up there. the woman hovering behind him is his mother, obviously - and akechi's.

this other thing

i also just wanted to mention this

i usually don't outline or plan fics very well, as you can probably fucking tell from the above. im just really short sighted when it comes to outlines and i usually can't see more than a few chapters in advance except for either vague shapes or VERY SPECIFIC SCENES, so doing this kind of intricate planning is a real challenge for me.

the goho-m thing is such a small detail, but im really pleased with it just because it is one of the things i actually did very deliberately plan and set up in advance. it first appears in chapter 6 when ren and makoto go to the zoo - ren gives all his goho-ms to makoto as a show of trust, to demonstrate that he trusts her to get him and their friends home safely after they resolve his fear and resentment for her plan almost getting him killed. i did that to wrap makoto's arc, but it also served a very important plot purpose in chapter 8: ren is stranded in the courtyard with akechi's "shadow" self, and he has no easy way of getting out of the palace because he gave all of his goho-ms to queen. oh no, ren trusted his friends so much it's gonna get him killed. unless?

(this is a plot hole p5 the game just never bothers to fill or else they wouldn't get dramatic anime scenes of the phantom thieves sprinting out of the palaces as they explode and im at peace with that but i still think it's funny and also i wanted to fill the plot hole myself.)

so then it finally gets to come back in chapter 10, when ren finally falls from being their fearless heroic leader and gives his friends a chance to step up and save him for once. makoto still has the goho-ms, and when ren is occupied and out of commission, she steps up and saves them like he trusted her to do. guys! i planned something that spanned five whole chapters. wow! wow i did it.

LONG POST. VERy LONG POST. god. HEY this is it the palace is destroyed. there are still two chapters to go and a lot left to get through, but palace-wise this was the climax, which is why it took so god damn long because it's terrifying to write something so pivotal. but thank you so much for reading the fic! and this if you read it! i wrote this mostly for me again. but if you read it i love you.

#long post #rookfic #ayli #whewh. guys it's really satisfyig to finally get to scenes ive been ruminating on for FIVE YEARS and then be able to talk about #how accidentally i arrived at certain things.#i mean. how i evilly plotted them on purpose.

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ifortom · 2 days ago

Text

WINTER AHEAD (1/2) T.H.

Summary: An unexpected pregnancy at 21 completely changes the lives of two young people. Over time, their paths diverge, and their hearts bear the pain of separation. Yet, the life born from their love keeps them unbreakably connected, showing that some bonds transcend time and differences. Also, it’s Christmas time!

A/N: I wrote this suddenly and couldn’t stop, but it will be divided into two parts because it took a different turn than I expected. Oh, and I know Christmas is already over, but my brain only started working after the festivities ended. I brought up some topics in this text that might be sensitive and cause some discomfort, but in the next chapter, some things will be explained.

The sound of the door opening, along with soft footsteps on the carpet, woke you up on yet another winter morning. Shortly after, you could feel the new weight on the blanket covering you, preventing the cold from reaching you.

"Mummy, are you awake?" The sleepy, drowsy voice reached your ears, and small fingers gently touched your face.

Delicate fingers gently trace imaginary lines on your face, attempting to wake you up.

"Mummy, come on. Daddy will be here soon."

It’s possible to detect the faint hint of desperation beginning to emerge in the little one's voice, as he spares no tactic to wake you up.

Stretching your arms without opening your eyes, you wrap Ethan in the blanket, eliciting a loud laugh from him.

"Oh no, help!" he shouts amid his laughter.

"This is an attack from the blanket monster!" you say, deepening your voice as you join in the game Ethan invented a few years ago.

As he tries to escape from the blanket you’ve wrapped him in, you attack with tickles, making him squirm uncontrollably on the bed.

"Mummy, please!" he says, laughing.

"Mummy? There’s no Mummy here, only the blanket monster."

"But I need my mum."

"Then do you surrender?"

"Yes, yes, please!" he says, and you release him, throwing your own body onto the bed and closing your eyes. When you feel Ethan stretch out over you, you open your eyes and smile at him.

"Oh, good morning, E."

"Good morning, Mummy! I was attacked by the blanket monster."

"Really? And did you defeat him?"

"Hm, not this time."

"Ah, that's okay. I bet the blanket monster had all his meals today, that's why he was so strong this time," you say, sitting up and pulling his little body close to yours. Ethan sits on your lap, his legs wrapped around your waist and his head resting on your chest as you lean back against the headboard of the bed.

Your hand gently pats his back, soothing him even more. No matter how much he grows, his mother's lap will always be his favourite place.

You bring your face closer to the top of his head and inhale the scent of baby shampoo coming from his soft hair.

Ethan may be just a few months away from turning 6 and becoming more independent in his routine, but to you, little E will always be the baby who cried loudly the first time you held him in your arms at 21.

From the moment you discovered you were pregnant, you knew life would never be the same, but the feeling of holding a newborn in your arms just minutes after he took his first breath of air was almost like a cold shower.

Since that moment, life took a new direction. There was no longer just Y/N. Now it would be Y/N and Ethan.

And Tom.

And as always, life spins in unexpected ways, and suddenly everything changes. Some things no longer seem to be enough.

After a few minutes in the same position, Ethan starts to move, and you release him to look at him.

"Can we have hot chocolate today?" he asks.

"Wasn't that our breakfast yesterday?"

"I know, but..." He turns his face, staring at the window. "I'm going to miss it."

He doesn't specify, but you understand what he means. It's the weekend, which means Ethan will spend the next few days away from home. Your home.

"I'm sure Daddy can make hot chocolate for you if you ask him."

"He makes it, but it's not like yours," he says, pouting.

"Ah, boy, stop trying to convince me with that face, you know it just makes me want to squeeze you!" you say, excited, wrapping him in your arms and hugging him tightly, covering his cheeks with kisses. "Go put on a sweater and let's have our breakfast, okay? Daddy will be here soon."

He nods and wriggles out of your arms, jumping off the bed and running toward his room. You get up and head to the bathroom, tying your hair back and washing your face to shake off the sleepiness.

When you reach the kitchen of the small apartment, Ethan is already trying to climb onto one of the stools at the counter—a thing you've already scolded him for trying to do on his own.

"What have I told you about asking for help?" you ask, approaching him and helping him sit on the stool.

"Sorry," he mumbles, then starts watching your movements as you gather the ingredients needed.

"Are you excited?" you ask, distracted.

"I am! Daddy said we're going to see the snow and the big Christmas tree. And then we're going to see Grandpa and Grandma."

This is a tradition of Ethan's that has been kept since his first Christmas, even though he was too young to understand. The photo on the wall serves as a constant reminder. Every Christmas, you would take him to the city center, where the Christmas tree was set up and the decorations lit up everything around.

However, the tradition of strolling through the city center during the festive season began long before Ethan ever thought about being born.

At 16, Tom took you for the first time to see the Christmas lights. According to him, it was just a walk among friends, but both of you knew that day meant so much more than that. After all, it was the day of your first kiss.

"This isn't a date," he said, intertwining his fingers with yours.

"Tom, I believe what we're doing qualifies as a date," you laugh.

"No, you deserve something better and bigger. You can consider this a date, fine, but we'll do more things and I'll take you to other places. I promise. A more exclusive place, too! There are too many people here," he says, looking around, and you laugh, pulling him closer and wrapping one of your arms that wasn't holding his around his neck.

"Any place with you is exclusive."

It’s been two years since you and Tom decided to go separate ways. For some reason, the relationship began to fade. It wasn’t for lack of love or affection for each other. But the heavy workload and raising a baby while still so young interfered with the future you had envisioned at 20, before Ethan became a matter that needed to be discussed.

Ethan was never considered a burden by either of you, but everything had to be reconsidered the moment you held the positive pregnancy test in your hands. Studies had to be put on hold for a while, and Tom had to find a full-time job that paid more than the part-time one he had at the time. In addition, he still needed to make time for his college studies. You also helped as much as you could during the pregnancy, taking online design courses that provided you with some work during that time.

Your parents were shocked, as were his, but they never denied their help. They were the support both of you needed in those first years. They helped with the payment of the first rent for the small apartment you found, and Tom made sure to pay them back as soon as he was able.

But their shock was even greater when they received the news that you and Tom were separating, instead of the engagement they had hoped would happen. Your mother, who had been so in love with Tom back then, cursed him with every name possible for neglecting the family he was starting to build. She demanded that he take responsibility for the consequences of his actions.

As you cried from the pain reflected in her words, you explained that it was a mutual decision. There was nothing more to be done. Tom also made it clear that he wasn’t abandoning anyone, he was just going to move out, and you two would no longer be a couple. But Ethan would remain the main reason for your relationship after the breakup.

He kept his promise and never let anything be lacking for his son. He is present and raises Ethan as a father should. But Ethan is still a child, one who learns everything with increasing ease. This means he has already questioned why mommy and daddy don’t live together.

Despite him enjoying having two different homes.

After Ethan finishes breakfast, he asks for permission to watch a cartoon on the living room TV, and you take the opportunity to change clothes and freshen up. Then, you go to Ethan's room, select his outfit for going out, and check the bag he packed the night before. Although he has his own things at his father's house, Ethan still spends most of his time with you, so there are always more things at your place. You add a few jumpers and socks to his backpack and call him to change clothes.

"Let me smell your breath," you say after helping him put on his socks. Ethan opens his mouth, and you bring your face closer to his. "Oh my god!" you exaggerate, acting shocked. "What on earth do you have living in that mouth?" Ethan laughs. "Go brush your teeth now, young man."

He quickly gets up, runs to the bathroom, adjusts the little stool so he can reach the sink, and closes the door. Privacy. The doorbell rings, and Ethan lets out a little squeal.

"It's Daddy!" he says, opening the bathroom door, his mouth covered in toothpaste.

"Hey, finish brushing your teeth, little monster. I'll open the door." He nods and returns to the task, doing it even faster, eager to see his dad.

You take a deep breath and walk toward the door, already knowing what you'll find when you open it. Tom hasn't changed much. Despite the marks on his face being more visible, he still carries the same boyish expression. The same one you once fell hopelessly in love with.

"Hey, I know I arrived a bit too early, but everyone’s excited to see him," he says, one hand going behind his head, scratching his neck. He’s wearing a heavy coat, which shows just how cold it is outside the apartment and building.

"Hi, no problem. You know he's also dying of anticipation," you laugh awkwardly. "Come on in, he's just finishing getting ready."

Tom steps through the door, and nostalgia hits him hard. When he moved out, he thought you’d probably look for another place too—maybe somewhere a little bigger, with three bedrooms and an office so you could work from home. At least, that’s what you both had planned while you were still together. He knows he wouldn’t have been able to stay in a place filled with so many memories if it had been you moving out instead of him.

He notices some changes in the place—the photos that used to feature three people have been taken down from the walls and shelves. Most of them now only show Ethan, with just a few including you. He spots one photo, though, showing your family and his, probably from Ethan's birthday.

This isn’t the first time he’s been inside your home since the breakup. He’s picked up and dropped off Ethan numerous times, including a few occasions when Ethan had a stomach ache and wanted to sleep in your bed. But he had never taken the time to look around. The strange, awkward air between you both always prevented him from examining how you chose to change things after he left.

But he seized the opportunity when you turned your back after saying you’d quickly check something in the laundry area. Unsure of what to do, Tom sat down on the sofa, while you hid near the washing machine, taking deep breaths to prevent the tears from escaping without permission.

No matter how much time passes, Tom holds a piece of your heart that you still haven’t been able to fill. Not with anyone else, nor with yourself. When everything ended, you truly believed that having Ethan would be enough. And he is more than enough. But Tom is unforgettable. Having him so close and still sharing something so precious with him sends shivers down your spine.

Because he’s right there. Just a few steps away. And he’s no longer yours.

The sharp sound of Ethan’s excited voice pulls you back, and you take a deep breath about three times, trying to slow your heart. You swipe your thumb under your eyes, drying any trace of tears.

"E, did you change your shirt?” you ask as you return to the living room, seeing Ethan sitting on the floor, showing Tom a new puzzle he got.

“Yes, I accidentally spilled water while brushing my teeth, Mom,” he says. “Sorry.”

“Oh, no problem, my love.” You move closer, crouch down, and kiss the top of his head. “Well done for changing it all by yourself.” He smiles and shifts his attention back to his dad, who keeps his eyes fixed on him.

You let Ethan and Tom talk on their own for a while and take the opportunity to wash the breakfast dishes.

It’s clear that Ethan prefers having this moment at home, without the rush and hurry of needing to leave right away. That’s why Tom always tries to arrive a little earlier than planned, as if to ease the transition between locations for the coming days.

A few minutes later, Tom's voice catches your attention.

"Y/N, can you come here?" You dry your hands and walk into the living room.

Ethan is sitting with his back to Tom, leaning on the coffee table, playing with a plastic robot.

"What's wrong?" you ask. Tom stands up from the sofa and takes your hand, pulling you a little away from the scene.

"He doesn’t want to go."

"What do you mean, he doesn’t want to go? A few hours ago, he was all excited."

"I noticed, but it’s been almost an hour since I arrived, and when I mentioned that we needed to go, he just turned his back and said he didn’t want to go." Tom’s unfocused, disoriented look tightens your chest.

The duration of Ethan's stays with each of you was never decided. One of the things you both agreed on was that the courts wouldn’t be involved at this stage—you both believed you could communicate and decide how Ethan’s custody would work. Tom spends a lot of time at his father’s beverage company, which makes it harder for him to connect with Ethan during the week. Your job is more flexible, allowing you to work from home and have more free time. However, Tom still asks to spend time with Ethan during the week on occasion and also picks him up from school when needed.

This is a new moment, one that neither of you may know how to handle. It’s never happened before. You gently touch Tom’s arm and walk around him to approach Ethan, sitting down beside him on the floor. The moment you do, he turns his head, resting it on the table.

"Bubba?" You use his favourite nickname. "Can you look at mommy?" Your hand strokes his back, but he stays in the same position, unresponsive. "Can we talk? Daddy said you were upset." With that, Tom moves closer and sits on the sofa behind you.

"Come on, bean. We’re here with you."

Ethan’s accumulated a series of nicknames throughout his life, even during pregnancy. Bean being one of them. And the fact that Tom used it now feels like a low blow, especially to you. After all, it was the way you both referred to him throughout the entire pregnancy.

"What’s bothering you?" No response. "Do you remember what you told me earlier? Daddy’s going to take you to see the snow and the Christmas tree. Grandma and Grandpa will be there too."

"Uncle Harry, Sam, and Paddy too. They’re all waiting for you," Tom adds.

Ethan's small shoulders begin to tremble, causing even more panic in both of you, who exchange a glance before turning your attention back to the little one. Slowly, Ethan starts to sob quietly, and your instinct is to pick him up and comfort him right away. But Tom places his hand on your arm, stopping you, and you look at him in disbelief.

"E, you need to tell us what’s going on."

"I don't want to go," he finally replies.

"Ethan, I need you to tell me why," Tom says.

"I don't want to go," he repeats.

"Right, we get it. But this was our agreement, remember? We have a lot to do at home."

"Mummy," Ethan says, sitting up and turning towards you.

"Bubba, why don’t you want to go with Daddy?" you ask gently. He moves closer to you and throws himself into your lap, wrapping his legs around your body and his arms around your neck, burying his face against you. Tom runs a hand over his face, unsure of what to do as the sound of Ethan’s crying grows louder, filling the room.

You look at Tom without knowing what to say, and he seems just as uneasy about the situation. Ethan has never refused to go out with him before. Could it be that the time he spends with Ethan isn’t enough? Tom looks like he’s ready to start an argument that won’t end anytime soon, judging by the expression on his face. You stand up, holding Ethan even closer to your body.

"I need to calm him down. Can you wait or come back later?" you ask.

"What? Y/N, no. You know I always come early just to avoid situations like this. Everyone is waiting for us at home. I need to go, and I need to take him with me." With that, Ethan clings even tighter to you. Tom notices, and rejection washes over his face.

"I'm sure everyone will understand. Do as you wish, but right now, my priority is him," you say, looking at him before turning away and walking to Ethan's little room. The bed, which he had tried to make himself, is cozy enough for you to lie down with him.

Ethan has always shown preferences and behaviours different from other children his age. This concerned you and led you to seek professional help. The paediatrician conducted some tests and recommended starting psychological treatment. A few sessions have already taken place, and Mia, the child psychologist, has had several conversations with you.

Throughout the entire separation period, what concerned you the most was Ethan's reaction and how all these changes would affect him.

Even though he was only three years old when it all happened, he witnessed small arguments between you and Tom, which, despite your best efforts to avoid, could not be entirely prevented. After that, the constant moving from one place to another undoubtedly made it difficult for him to identify with a single place.

Mum’s house, Dad’s house.

Where is Ethan’s home?

This was a question raised by the psychologist, and it has never left your mind since.

Ethan’s tiny fingers wrapped around your neck found the chain you rarely take off. He traced its path to the front, touching the small letter 'E' pendant. A gift from Tom when you both decided on the baby’s name. Some things are hard to leave behind.

You waited until his breathing steadied, making sure he had fallen asleep, before getting up.

The plan was to head to the living room and call Tom to let him know that Ethan had fallen asleep and it would probably be better to come back later. But as you stepped into the hallway, you found Tom sitting on the sofa, his head resting against the back, legs spread, shoulders slumped. Tired. That’s the word that best describes Tom Holland’s body language at that moment.

He slowly lifted his head as he heard you approach. You sat down next to him, your legs touching.

"He’s asleep."

"I figured that would happen."

"The psychologist said he might have issues related to this change in routine." Tom sighed.

Of course, he knows about the psychotherapy sessions Ethan has been attending. His consent is required, after all. But he has never attended a single parental guidance session, something that fills you with frustration.

"Do you think we’re doing something wrong?" you ask.

"I don’t know. Maybe?"

"He wasn’t supposed to be caught in the middle of all this mess."

"What do you want to do now, Y/N? We can’t change the past," he replies sharply.

"Hey, what’s going on with you? Where’s all this harshness coming from?" Tom takes a deep breath and leans his head back on the sofa again, staring at the ceiling.

"My son doesn’t want to go home with me. That’s all. He was fine, and then, out of nowhere, he turned his back on me. When I ask him something, he doesn’t respond." He looks at you now. "I didn’t tell you before because it was resolved, but two weeks ago, that Wednesday when you were stuck at work and asked me to pick him up from school… When he saw me—when he realised it wasn’t you—he didn’t want to leave. It was horrible for me because people were watching, and I’ve never seen Ethan cry as much as he did that day." He lets out a bitter laugh.

"Tom…"

"The teachers tried to talk to him, but it was like I was a stranger taking him away. In the end, he agreed to come with me when I said we were going home, but he misunderstood. When he realised we were going to my house, he started crying again." He looks down at the floor. "It took ages for him to stop. That’s why, when you came to pick him up, he was asleep—because he was exhausted from crying so much." Finally, he looks at you, tears in his eyes.

"Tommy."

"I did everything wrong. I tried to give my best, always, but it’s never enough. I wasn’t the best for you, and look what happened." He looks away. "And now my son doesn’t even want to stay with me."

"Hey, hey. Look at me." You gently place a hand on his arm. "Tom, this isn’t your fault. This is all new for both of us, just as it is for him."

"I should have fought harder for us," he murmured.

Gently, you place a hand on his face, pulling him closer. The two of you adjust on the sofa, settling into a position that feels both comfortable and familiar. Tom nestled in your arms, his head resting against your chest, just the way Ethan often does. One of his arms wraps tightly around your waist, holding you close, while your hand soothingly traces along his back.

As the two of you remain wrapped up in each other for an indeterminate amount of time, you try not to dwell on Tom’s words.

How different would things be if he hadn’t given up on trying? It’s not fair to place all the blame on him, but reflecting on past events, he was the first to show that he no longer had an interest in keeping the relationship alive.

During your time apart, you heard about Tom being involved with other women. But none of them were serious enough to be introduced to Ethan—or to you.

The sound of Tom’s phone ringing on the coffee table pulls you back to reality. When Tom doesn’t move to answer it, you lean forward, trying to see who’s calling. But as you do, Tom tightens his arms around you.

"It’s your mum."

"Let it ring."

"Aren’t they expecting you?" you ask, settling back into the sofa.

"I don’t think I have good news," he mutters.

Your hands find their way to his hair, gently massaging, offering comfort in the only way you know how at that moment.

The phone rings a few more times before the call drops, only to start again 20 seconds later.

"I think you should answer," you say, and he mutters something unintelligible. "I can talk to her if you want." Tom simply lets go of you, slumping back onto the sofa. You get up, pick up his phone, and walk into the kitchen before answering.

"Hi, Nikki."

"What? Who is this? Y/N?" she says, startled.

"Yes, it’s me."

"Did something happen, dear? Where’s Tom?"

"Um, we had a situation here, but don’t worry—it’s all fine now."

"Are you sure? How’s Ethan?" she asks nervously.

"He… well, he didn’t want to leave. We tried talking to him, but it didn’t help much. He eventually fell asleep."

"Oh, poor little thing," she says, sighing. "And you, my dear? How are you?"

"I…" Hearing the concern in her voice, your eyes well up with tears. "I don’t know what to do. Tom is heartbroken. Seeing them both like this hurts me so much, Nikki."

"Oh, sweetheart, I know it does. But you need to take care of yourself too, Y/N. Stop thinking you have to handle all of this on your own. I know what it’s like to raise a child, and I know Tom tries so hard to be part of it all, but after everything that happened… he’s distant."

"It’s been two years, Nikki. Why can’t we move past this?"

"Because there’s still love," she responds quickly. "I’ll never fully understand what happened between you two. Maybe the responsibility became too much, maybe you lost yourselves along the way. Focusing solely on the child became your priority, and you forgot to nurture that love. I don’t know."

"I don’t know either." "And you were so young when Ethan came along, Y/N. You both had to rewrite an entire life you had planned together, remember?" You sigh deeply at her words. "You wanted to graduate college together, start working, save enough to take a trip, just the two of you… there were so many plans, I can’t even list them all. If it wasn’t you telling me about them, it was Tom."

More tears streamed uncontrollably down your face, and you covered your mouth to stifle any sound, not wanting to alarm Tom in the living room. "I heard so much about you two…" She sighed as well. "And the truth is, you’re still young, learning something new every day. And now, you’re also teaching someone else—someone loving, intelligent, and full of so much heart. Ethan is made of both of you, my dear."

"I’m so afraid something will happen to him, Nikki. He’s so little, and I just… I can’t hurt him like this." "Y/N, you’re doing your best. Every time I see that boy, he shows me something new about his personality that surprises me so much. You’ve done an amazing job. But you also need to take care of yourself. And I’d be so happy if you allowed my son to help you in that process."

"Thank you, Nikki. That means a lot." "I’ll always be here for you. I’ll talk to everyone here about it and wait for Tom to let me know what we’re doing today, alright?"

"Alright. Thank you again."

"You’re welcome, dear." And with that, she hung up.

Without a second thought, you walk back into the living room. Tom is still in the same position, only lifting his head when he notices you standing in front of him. His gaze lands on your tear-streaked face and red eyes.

"What happened?" he asks, standing up and gently holding your face in his hands.

"Can you carry Ethan without waking him and take him to my room?" you ask, holding his wrists. He nods and lets his hands drop from your face before moving towards Ethan.

You make your way to your bedroom while Tom goes to fetch Ethan from his room. You pull down the blinds, dimming the light filtering into the space. Tom enters, carefully carrying Ethan, and places him in the centre of the bed.

Gently, you settle on the right side, straightening up before resting your head on the pillow. Tom stands there, unsure of what to do, watching you without reaction. Finally, you extend a hand toward him. He gets the message, takes off his shoes, and lies down on the side that used to be his when you shared this bed. You don’t let go of his hand for a second. Instead, you pull it closer, guiding it to wrap around Ethan’s small body nestled between you.

"I miss you so much," Tom whispered. A small smile appeared on your face.

"We’ll talk later, okay? For now, let’s just enjoy our little Bean."

#tom holland angst #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland #tom holland au #tom holland imagines #tom holland smut #dad!tom holland

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victorzsasz · 3 days ago

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Daniel stalks through the dark park, eyes focused on the man walking ahead of him, their steps in-sync. There's a small desire path that leads to a big patch of trees a few meters ahead where Daniel intends to hunt his prey.

The closer they get, Daniel's hunger grows, his hearing focuses on the man's heartbeat and his fangs extend.

Still so cool.

The second the man is in position, Daniel strikes, with inhuman speed and strength he tackles the man into the trees, covering his mouth to stop him from screaming.

Daniel doesn't kill him straight away, he waits a few seconds until he smells the man's adrenaline course through his blood. He bites quick and deep, drinking heavily and greedily. The rush Daniel feels is like none other, like ten straight shot of adrenaline, out of all the different emotions Daniel has tried, fear is his favourite.

After he finishes draining the man, Daniel stands up, whipping blood from his mouth he suddenly freezes and strains to hear. He could've sworn he heard a footstep in the woods. He nearly jumps out of his skin when his cell phone goes off in his pocket. He answers without looking.

"Hello, Daniel Molloy." Daniel answers.

"o-oh, umm... Hi, Dad... honestly didn't think you'd answer..."

"oh! um, Hi! hello! what? uhhh why are you calling so late?" Daniel asks, genuinely surprised by his daughter's sudden call.

He hasn't talked to her since he told her his Parkinson's diagnosis, even then it was more of a curtesy call than a meaningful conversation.

" well... uh.. Well, I couldn't sleep because I was so, so angry and very very worried with... you... I uh, I saw your interview, I mean how could I not? it's gone viral, and I saw your book--"

"Did you read it?" Daniel cuts her off.

"uh, yes, yes I did read it and umm... Listen, I don't want to be judgmental, I want to just... I need to know, I'm sure it's been hard since your diagnosis, but... Dad, are you on drugs again?"

"what? no!" Daniel laughs, "no, no, honey, I'm fine. Better than fine. I uhh started a new treatment, it's been working wonders. I feel better than I have in decades."

"you do? that's fantastic! what's the treatment because I actually looked into a few lately and-"

Daniel tunes her out as all his attention turns to what he finally spots in the woods, a pair of big amber eyes. Daniel smiles.

".... I just want you to be in my life, and I want to be in yours. I just need to know I can trust-"

"uh, yeah yeah, I'm very sorry, I have to go. You caught me at a bad time, uhh, I'll text you my address. Come by say uhh 9pm tomorrow? that work for you? We'll have dinner, catch up, I'll explain everything, okay?" Daniel interrupts, clearly distracted.

"9 pm? I think I could--"

"great! fantastic, see you then, bye."

"Wait, Dad I wasn't--"

Daniel hangs up his phone, as Armand approaches from the shadows.

"Was wondering when you'd show up again." Daniel says dryly.

"my business took... longer than expected. my apologies. " Armand replies

"You know, telephones have been around for over 100 years. You could've called, texted, or even send an electronic letter to my electronic mailbox." Daniel argues.

Armand smiles softly, and wipes some blood from Daniel's lip with his thumb.

"Such a messy fledgling..." Armand says softly.

"Not like I have anyone who can teach me." Daniel says sarcastically.

"I'm staying."

"How long this time?"

Armand caresses Daniel's face, and Daniel leans into his touch.

"Forever. For eternity."

"You're so full of bullshit."

Armand kisses him, a longingly, an I missed you, kiss. The taste of blood still on Daniel's lips. Daniel intensifies the kiss, wanting more, wanting all of Armand. He missed his soft lips.

Hooking his fingers through two of Armand's belt loops, Daniel pulls the other vampire closer.

"Bite me." Daniel whispers.

"At home, my beloved." Armand smiles, "right now you have a mess to clean, yes?" Armand says, looking down.

Daniel follows his gaze to the body on the ground.

"oh. right. I was just going to bury it." Daniel replies.

Armand gives him a slightly confused and judgmental look.

"what? these nails are surprisingly great for digging, combine that with super speed. quick grave. Plus, no one ever actually notices disturbed dirt." Daniel defends himself.

"it's a bit... messy. Do you just go about the rest of your night with dirt covered hands?" Armand asks baffled.

"Dirt is easier to wash off and explain than blood. I'm sorry I don't have an incinerator or box of starving rats available." Daniel replies dryly

"whatever you do, do it quickly." Armand places a hand on Daniel's chest, "I'll meet you back at home, there's still a few more hours before sunrise."

Armand smiles slyly before flying off.

"Show off!" Daniel yells, watching Armand disappear into the night sky.

He turns his attention to the body, time to start digging.

#part one :)#also I did not edit or polish this #also cant think of a name for his daughter so she remains nameless and will remain nameless #armandaniel #daniel molloy #devils minion #interview with the vampire #amc interview with the vampire #amc iwtv

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jazeswhbhaven · 1 day ago

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Hi! glad that your request box is open, so it is kinda confirmed in the Halloween event that witches are real and they offer every Halloween and all. So can I request a very powerful witch MC (Leraye is having the time of his life because thunderous sound her magic made when she blasting angels) and very much a researcher at heart, when she knows the concept of Hell, devils, and the entire environment and culture of Hell, she is internally foaming at the mouth because OH her fellow witches are punching the air right now and would kill a bitch to be in her place (I have a headcanons that the first witch has to have some sort of encounter with one of the Kings at some point in the past, has a crush, and made a club with other witches with the same experience as her, someone walks into their girl night and snitched on them, which ruin the fun 🙄). She looked around with a bag of notes to write down everything and would beg to use every library in each nation for her study and research. While she can definitely put a spell on herself to survive in Hell without banging anyone or drinking Minhyeok's nut but she WANTS IT, because who wouldn't? (she is the type to ask for anatomy scientific questions during sex like how demons' horns leak cum? How does it feel in the head when you orgasm?-) She also gets very excited when she knows she can use our demons' power, not only is it a new great thing to study, and would train the fuck out of herself to refine her skills so she could contribute to helping Hell. Anyway, I hope you can write her dynamics with 5 demons bois of your choosing if you accept it, thanks!

Thank you so much for waiting anon! SO this was a lot of detail to work with to understand our Witch!MC, so a lot of apologies if I don't nail everything you mentioned right on the head. BUT let's see if I can at least get her dynamics going.... I'm going to go with your original request of choosing 5 demons both nobles and kings mixed together and I have the perfect one to start off withhhhhh

Asmodeus: His late wife was a witch, so meeting Witch!MC was not only a treat, but nostalgia for this lustful devil. In fact, he's more...toned down around her which surprises everyone even Leviathan when he observes Asmo's behavior. Witch!MC has a natural ability to resist his charms, no magic needed, and can harness his power in order to take down angels with a blink of an eye. One would possibly say...it's even better than any human that once tried to tussle with balancing his power with their own. She takes pride in herself that Asmodeus acts different around her, sometimes even bragging about it within her coven which creates jealously. But it's fine, no other witch would dare lay a finger on her if it meant dealing with the possibility of pissing off one of the Kings, especially Asmodeus. He tries to court Witch!MC, by flirting coyly in person and flirty texts that are vague instead of explicit detail. He even flirts with the other witches of her coven just because that's the way he is, but Witch!MC can tell his heart isn't in it. He just wants her attention.

Satan: Witch!MC's coven resides in Gehenna, just on the outskirts of the busy downtown square in the bustling forest. It's often she runs into Satan when shopping for groceries/etc. This king treats Witch!MC like any one of his citizens, though he does tend to threaten to kick her across the room much less than he does anyone else. In battle with the angels, he only needs one drop of blood from her to go full potential for his power, and she uses that energy to be equal as they both clear waves of angels. Not even the cherubim angels like to fuck around with this duo or they'd end up on their death beds without a proper strategy. Satan is aware that Witch!MC doesn't necessarily need Minhyeok's cum to survive in Hell, and that's what makes him angry most of the time. Though, that also means...she doesn't need devil's essence either so each time she asks him for "alone" time he gets excited about it. Out of all the Kings, she seems to ask him more often than not.

Foras: The reason I chose this particular noble to talk about with Witch!MC is because...she can see through his invisibility power. In fact, she can replicate it easily without even thinking about it. To her it's second nature. This intrigues Foras, but also makes him a bit nervous that it doesn't work on her when it was Leviathan who asked him to spy on her from time to time. Witch!MC knows this too, and she thinks it's funny that Leviathan would feel the need to do so while also acting as if he doesn't care what she does on her own free time. But this is her own little secret with Foras, and it does play into interesting scenarios for when she's feeling..."frisky". Public invisible quickie anyone?

Leraye (since you mentioned him in your request!): It's true, whenever Witch!MC fights in the battles, the crack and boom of her magic reminds Leraye of thunder and he can't help himself sometimes in the heat of the moment. If only he could pull the trigger with just one hand...oh wait...yes he can. One in his pants and the other on the trigger is a dangerous combo. Witch!MC praises Leraye on his kill count after each battle, and they always celebrate together with Paimon at the local pub afterward. You will always see the three of them together celebrating victories, and even if there's not a victory, Witch!MC is there to bring up morale and help heal wounds when there's not a healing devil present. Now when it comes to hanging out with Leraye alone, he's very much like a lost puppy and craves for her attention. She loves this, and also has to often tell Sitri and Satan to back off and leave him alone. Witch!MC has a certain soft spot for him he's willing to do anything for her.

Leviathan: Another king that Witch!MC seems to have an effect on is this jealous devil. If you thought he was envious before, he certainly is now. The minute he saw her, and learned that her coven was based in Gehenna he was immediately trying to convince Witch!MC to come reside in Hades. He would tell others that it's because he feels Gehenna isn't adequate enough, but it's because he recognizes her potential and that he could easily train and mold her skills to work for Hades and be a great asset to Hell. That and well...there's no way he'd let Satan have her all to himself (or any of the kings for that matter). Witch!MC thinks that Levi is very pretty, goregous and often has trouble concentrating around him. But she does her best and shows no shame in wanting to roll around in his bed. She doesn't care much about his empty threats or half-assed insults toward her, because she can pretty much see through it (for the most part since he makes it so obvious).

#jwhbasks❓#whb headcanons #whb witch!mc #whb au #jwhbrequests📬#ty for waiting anon!

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deeplyshalllow · 2 days ago

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If you think that all Fiyero has in terms of characteristics in wicked, then I would encourage you to re-watch the musical because you've missed quite a lot! I'll give you that some of it's a bit subtle because he's not in very many scenes but we get quite a lot from him

- as you said he presents like he doesn't care when he does - I don't think that's that shallow a personality trait though? It leads to quite a lot of questions about why he is that way, what has made him, a boy who has come from even more privileged than Glinda, care so much more about the Animals and generally making the world a better place than her? Why has he felt the need to hide it? Is it some degree of childhood trauma (the San Francisco previews of the musical has him state that before Elphaba he didn't believe that love was real)? Is it an inability to make a difference? Does he have some learning difficulty like ADHD or dyslexia which has made him not very book smart so he felt better pretending not to care? It's also so wonderful to see how his interactions with Elphaba inspire him to make this change.

- he's incredibly smart, somewhat ironic given he becomes the scarecrow, but I think he's the most intelligent of the group! He basically runs act 2. If it was not for him, Elphaba would have been captured in the throne room (possibly Glinda too as she tried to help her escape), Elphaba would have been captured in the cornfield and Elphaba wouldn't have had the plan to fake her own death. Honestly, his girls would be lost without him! Elphaba inspires him to do good, but Fiyero is needed as her calm, to help her think before her actions and to keep her safe.

- he's the best politician of the group, he's the only one with any degree of impulse control, while both Elphaba and Glinda tend to react and think about consequences later, Fiyero takes a step back, works out what to do and what best to say to people to get what he wants, even if it means appearing on the wrong side. It's sort of sad that, after doubtless driving his parents mad by flunking school, he would have probably made an excellent king.

- morso in the movie than in the musical, but he's just incredibly kind! Unlike Glinda, he doesn't judge Elphaba by her skin colour, works out remarkably quickly that she's wearing a mask too and tries his best to get her out of it. He doesn't want her to change, or temper her feelings to fit with what is normal (like literally everyone else in her life) and loves her for exactly who she is. This is why he works so well with Elphaba, here's the only person, who will sit and tell her to be herself and mean it, he is the person who can tell her that she is valuable and is allowed to do stuff for herself, rather than just trying to help or please others. We also see in the musical, a concerted effort to make it up to Glinda after running away with Elphaba, he expresses straight after "as long as your mine" that he hopes someday they'll all make up and apologizes to her in the next scene.

I don't really think you get much less personality from Fiyero than Glinda really? I mean when you boil down Glinda's traits you get privileged and spoilt, somewhat spiteful but not overly unkind (though I would argue her initial befriending of Elphaba is almost as rushed as Fiyero's love for her), a very set plan of what she wants in life, a little impulsive, and cares a bit about doing good but not enough to uproot her own life.

You have to look slightly harder, but it's all there in the text, Fiyero is a nuanced character, with his own personality, ambitions and goals. They just tend to align with Elphaba's, as the two of them share such similar morals.

Also, I think it's a little unfair to say that Elphaba longing to be with Glinda as well, makes Fiyero any less important to her, considering she sung a whole song about how terrible her life was and that she was going to give up, when she thought Fiyero was dead!

Fiyerabas love to get on Twitter and tumblr and say stuff like “well fiyero would’ve went with Elphaba in a heartbeat” and act as if that’s a groundbreaking statement. We know what happens in act 2. We know he leaves everything behind for her. The reason why Glinda can’t do that is because she’s an actual nuanced character that has depth to her. She has something to lose. We see how she was brought up in the world. We know that she is a coward. Why WOULDN’T fiyero go with Elphaba? Nothing about his character is complex enough for that to be an option.

Fiyero’s whole character is built on a single characteristic (pretending not to care when he actually does) that is so underdeveloped it’s actually laughable. Why does he pretend not to care? There is not a single thing about him that actually tells us why he acts like that. It just comes out as him being an annoying jerk, even in the movie. His whole character arc is pretending not to care and then caring because of Elphaba. OF COURSE he’d go with her. That’s what his whole personality is based on.

Not to mention the fact that even with him being Elphaba’s ride or die, he’s still boring and his decision to be with her is incredibly unmoving. No one would expect anything else. And even with them ending up together, Elphaba still longs to be with Glinda. She still longs to tell her she’s alive. Fiyero is a boring annoying consolation prize that is a flat and undeveloped “what if” twist on Glinda if she wasn’t as much of a coward as she is. Idgaf

#wicked meta #fiyeraba #fiyero x elphaba #wicked movie #wicked musical

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mikelogan · 2 years ago

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we were supposed to be just friends you don't live in my part of town, but maybe i'll see you out some weekend depending on what kind of mood and situation-ship i'm in and what's in my system i think there’s been a glitch (x)

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bonicedemandarina · 1 month ago

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Hiiiii *puts mizisua in these popular album covers and runs away*

#I really like those fanarts where ppl put their favs in album covers so I wanted to try it too #also to test some brushes I customized a bit. I'm not that satisfied with the results but it was a lot of fun anyways #I originally thought of drawing the tcfsr cover with f4rcille. but that was MONTHS ago and life was busy and my dm interest passed #<- censored bc I don't wanna tag it since it doesn't have anything to so with this post. But yea #in the end I did it with a different pairing. I quite liked how Sua ended up looking!#Also don't tell me that the blood on Sua's neck is on the wrong side I already know 😭#i drew something #Alien stage #mizi alnst #sua alnst #sua alien stage #mizi alien stage #Mizisua #Alnst #album cover redraw #id in alt text

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serpentface · 6 months ago

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Do you conlang? I was wondering if you had naming languages (or possibly even more developed ones) for pulling the words you use. I tried to search your blog but didn't find anything, wouldn't be surprised if the feature is just busted tho. Your worldbuilding is wonderful and I particularly enjoy the anthropological and linguistic elements.

Ok the thing is I had kind of decided I was not going to do any conlanging because I don't feel like I'm equipped to do a good job of it, like was fully like "I'm just going to do JUST enough that it doesn't fail an immediate sniff test and is more thoughtful than just keysmashing and putting in vowels". And then have kinda been conlanging anyway (though not to a very deep and serious extent. I maybe have like....an above average comprehension of how language construction works via willingness to research, but that's not saying much, also I can never remember the meanings of most linguistic terms like 'frictives' or etc off the top of my head. I'm just kinda raw dogging it with a vague conceptualization of what these things mean)

I do at least have a naming language for Wardi (and more basic rules for other established languages) but the rudimentary forms of it were devised with methods much shakier and less linguistically viable than even the most basic naming language schemes, and I only went back over it LONG after I had already made a bunch of words so there's some inconsistencies with consonant presence and usage. (This can at least be justified because it IS a language that would have a lot of loanwords and would be heavily influenced by other language groups- Burri being by far the most significant, Highland-Finnic and Yuroma-Lowlands also being large contributors)

The 'method' I used was:

-Skip basic construction elements and fully move into devising necessary name words, with at least a Vibe of what consonants are going to be common and how pronunciation works -Identify some roots out of the established words and their meanings. Establish an ongoing glossary of known roots/words. -Construct new words based in root words, or as obvious extensions/variants of established words. -Get really involved in how the literal meanings of some words might not translate properly to english, mostly use this to produce a glossary of in-universe slang. -Realize that I probably should have at least some very basic internal consistency at this point. -Google search tutorials on writing a naming language. -Reverse engineer a naming language out of established words, and ascribe all remaining inconsistencies to being loanwords or just the mysteries of life or whatever.

I do at least have some strongly established pronunciation rules and a sense of broad regional dialect/accents.

-'ai' words are almost always pronounced with a long 'aye' sound.

-There is no 'Z' or 'X' sound, a Wardi speaker pronouncing 'zebra' would go for 'tsee-brah', and would attempt 'xylophone' as 'ssye-lohp-hon'

-'V' sounds are nearly absent and occur only in loanwords, and tend to be pronounced with a 'W' sound. 'Virsum' is a Highland word (pronounced 'veer-soom') denoting ancestry, a Wardi speaker would go 'weer-sum'.

-'Ch' spellings almost always imply a soft 'chuh' sound when appearing after an E, I, or O (pelatoche= pel-ah-toh-chey), but a hard 'kh' sound after an A or U (odomache= oh-doh-mah-khe). When at the start of a word, it's usually a soft 'ch' unless followed by an 'i' sound (chin (dog) is pronounced with a hard K 'khiin', cholem (salt) is pronounced with a soft Ch 'cho-lehm')

-Western Wardin has strong Burri cultural and linguistic influence, and a distinct accent- one of the most pronounced differences is use of the ñ sound in 'nn' words. The western city of Ephennos is pronounced 'ey-fey-nyos' by most residents, the southeastern city of Erubinnos is pronounced 'eh-roo-been-nos' by most residents. Palo's surname 'Apolynnon' is pronounced 'A-puh-lee-nyon' in the Burri and western Wardi dialects (which is the 'proper' pronunciation, given that it's a Kos name), but will generally be spoken as 'Ah-poh-leen-non' in the south and east.

-R's are rolled in Highland-Finnic words. Rolling R's is common in far northern rural Wardi dialects but no others. Most urban Wardi speakers consider rolling R's sort of a hick thing, and often think it sounds stupid or at least uneducated. (Brakul's name should be pronounced with a brief rolled 'r', short 'ah' and long 'uul', but is generally being pronounced by his south-southeastern compatriots with a long unrolled 'Brah' sound).

Anyway not really a sturdy construction that will hold up to the scrutiny of someone well equipped for linguistics but not pure bullshit either.

#I actually did just make a post about this on my sideblog LOL I think in spite of my deciding not to conlang this is going to go full #full conlanging at some point #The main issue is that the narrative/dialogue is being written as an english 'translation' (IE the characters are speaking in their actual #tongues and it's being translated to english with accurate meaning but non-literal treatment)#Which you might say like 'Uh Yeah No Shit' but I think approaching it with that mindset at the forefront does have a different effect than #just fully writing in english. Like there's some mindfulness to what they actually might be saying and what literal meanings should be #retained to form a better understanding of the culture and what should be 'translated' non-literally but with accurate meaning #(And what should be not translated at all)#But yeah there's very little motivation for conlanging besides Pure Fun because VERY few Wardi words beyond animal/people/place names #will make it into the actual text. Like the only things I leave 'untranslated' are very key or untranslatable concepts that will be #better understood through implication than attempts to convey the meaning in english #Like the epithet 'ganmachen' is used to compliment positive traits associated with the ox zodiac sign or affectionately tease #negative ones. This idea can be established pretty naturally without exposition dumps because the zodiac signs are of cultural #importance and will come up frequently. The meaning can get across to the reader pretty well if properly set up.#So like leaving it as 'ganmachen' you can get 'oh this is an affectionate reference to an auspicious zodiac sign' but translating #it as the actual meaning of 'ox-faced' is inevitably going to come across as 'you look like a cow' regardless of any zodiac angle #^(pretty much retyped tags from other post)#Another aspect is there's a few characters that have Wardi as a second language and some of whom don't have a solid grasp on it #And I want to convey this in dialogue (which is being written in english) but I don't want it to just be like. Random '''broken''' english #like I want there to be an internal consistency to what parts of the language they have difficulties with (which then has implications for #how each language's grammar/conjugation/etc works). Like Brakul is fairly fluent in Wardi at the time of the story but still struggles #with some of the conjugation (which is inflectional in Wardi) especially future/preterite tense. So he'll sometimes just use the #verb unconjugated or inappropriately in present tense. Though this doesn't come across as starkly in text because it's #written in english. Like his future tense Wardi is depicted as like 'I am to talk with him later' instead of 'I'll talk with him later'#Which sounds unnatural but not like fully incorrect #But it would sound much more Off in Wardi. Spanish might be a better example like it would be like him approaching it with #'Voy a hablar con él más tarde' or maybe 'Hablo con él más tarde' instead of 'Hablaré con él más tarde'#(I THINK. I'm not a fluent spanish speaker sorry if the latter has anything wrong with it too)

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