#so if anyone has any questions pls lmk
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katetheworm Ā· 4 months ago
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Clover the Bard and Astarion Ancunin || Confessions and Hugs
hiii uh here's my bard tav, Clover, and Astarion confessing to each other :) they mean so much to me rn I stayed up way too late last night so I could get to this scene tehe. anyway, if anyone would like to ask questions about them pls ask! I have so many thoughts. I love them so very much <3
(also face and hair from Nexus mods again and this happened after clover said "I care about you. Deeply.")
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celestie0 Ā· 2 months ago
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gojo satoru x reader | oneshot smut [18+]
title. around the clock
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Hooking up with your little brotherā€™s babysitter? That sounds more like a bad porno than a sensible decision.
į°” pairing. babysitter/boxing au - underground boxer & babysitter!gojo x college student!reader (f)
į°” summary. when underground boxer gojo satoru becomes a little strapped for cash, he gets a day job as a babysitter for a five-year-old kid named yuuji who most definitely has adhd (but thatā€™s besides the point). the kidā€™s mom gave gojo two rules, and two rules only: donā€™t accidentally kill my son, and do not flirt with my daughter. heā€™s pretty sure heā€™s got a good hold on the former, but heā€™s got no self control over the latter.
į°” warnings/tags. 18+, fem!reader, smut, casual sex, lil bit of fluff, lil bit of crack, slight age gap (readerā€™s 22 & gojoā€™s 27), cum play, creampie, unprotected sex, praise kink, slight degradation, gojo is a sleazebag that cares?, sort of porn-coded smut except thereā€™s a lil bit of lore so itā€™s kinda porn w plot, uhh having sex with risk of getting caught, gojo beats people up at night & then plays father figure to a 5 y/o during the day, mentions of violence/alcohol/drugs/blood/cigarettes
į°” word count. 12.6k
a/n. hiiii friends jeez it feels like FOREVER since i've posted some good ol' smut (still has plot tho xd)...hopefully you enjoy n see ya at the bottom! lmk if i missed any warnings! if you asked to be tagged but didnā€™t get tagged itā€™s bc you have your tags off aaa :( even when some ppl tried to fix it i still couldnā€™t tag them iā€™m sorry!!
alsoooooo so very much love to @starmapz for beta reading this for me :ā€) really helped me w my posting nerves haha. she is also a wonderful jjk author pls go check out her works!! šŸ’• ART CREDITS: @/3-aem
āžø masterlist
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2:34 pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): heyy um iā€™m sorry if this comes off kinda rude i just am kinda bad with this but i was wondering if you could text my mom for questions about yuujiā€™s care instead of me?
2:46pm Gojo Satoru: Oh 2:46pm Gojo Satoru: Yeah, sure
2:34 pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): sorry i know my mom doesnā€™t know much ab how to take care of him bc i was the one that took care of him for a while but i just really want to separate myself from that guardian role now that iā€™ve transferred to NYU yknow? :/ i think itā€™s not my place anymore. i just wanna be big sis now haha
2:46pm Gojo Satoru: I get it. Sorry if I was making you uncomfortable with my texts
2:48pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): no no not uncomfy by it, thanks for looking after him. itā€™s just iā€™m kind of busy n stuff so it can be distractingĀ 
2:49pm Gojo Satoru: Ok, got it
2:52pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): and it was kind of an issue with his last babysitter
2:53pm Gojo Satoru: Oh?
2:55pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): yeahhh like he would keep textinf me n stuff uhh kinda weird thingsā€¦ i told my mom about it and she was super pissed so she fired him
2:55pm Gojo Satoru: Weird things?
2:56pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): yeah he was always ā€œaccidentally sexting meā€ n like he sent me a dick pic once sooooo yeah
2:56pm Gojo Satoru: Who tf 2:56pm Gojo Satoru: Iā€™ll go beat him up
2:57pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): oh no no its fine lol 2:57pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): please dont beat anyone up 2:58pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): iā€™m not saying youā€™re like him tho i just think maybe less texting unless its an emergency okay?
3:00pm Gojo Satoru: Are you sure because I will totally go beat him up for you
3:01pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): NO I DONT WANT YOU TO BEAT ANYONE UP FOR ME 3:01pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): also no offense but you dont look like you could beat someone up
3:01pm Gojo Satoru: WHAT 3:02pm Gojo Satoru: Tf you mean ā€œno offenseā€ thatā€™s literally the most offensive thing you could say to a guy
3:04pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): yeaa i mean you have muscles ofc but in the ā€˜ohhh i wanna look good for instagramā€™ way and not like real man muscles yknow
3:06pm Gojo Satoru: Ok princess next time you visit home and go on one of your stupidly large grocery hauls Iā€™ll make sure you carry all those groceries in by yourselfĀ 
3:06pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): NO 3:07pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): I WAS JUST JOKING 3:07pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): YOURE SO STRONG TY FOR ALWAYS CARRYING THE GROCERIES INSIDE 3:08pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): PLEASE KEEP CARRYING MY GROCERIES INSIDE
3:09pm Gojo Satoru: Nah 3:09pm Gojo Satoru: Should we be texting right now? Iā€™m not sensing any emergencies here
3:11pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): pls. my groceries :(
3:16pm Gojo Satoru: Iā€™ll let the kiddo know you say hi šŸ‘‹šŸ¼Ā 
The irony of it all was that, if Gojo really wanted to, he absolutely could beat the shit out of someone. And he has, hundreds of times, pseudo professionally. Although that isnā€™t something heā€™d admit to you, out of fear that you might relay that info back to your mom who would then become mortified that sheā€™s entrusted her five-year-old sonā€™s life to the hands of an underground boxer.Ā 
But he needed the money. A night-time job didnā€™t really make daytime money, not when they could easily replace him with the next dude the second he gets knocked out of the ring more than twice, let alone if he let it happen once. And although he sometimes made large sums, it wasnā€™t stable income. He needed a back-up plan, and so babysitting it was.Ā 
The babysitter working nights at unsanctioned dojos and gyms located in the back of cartel blocks, knocking teeth out of men twice his size, would put any decent mother into a coma or induce some episode of syncope, hence why it wasnā€™t something he put on his resume before he got hired. Not that he even needed to provide a resume; your mom seemed desperate to cover the position as fast as possible, that promotion at work was moving faster than she wanted to, and Gojoā€™s beneficial attribute that he possessed as a candidate to look after her son, compared to all the other potential hires, was that he had a penis.
He likes the kid. Yuuji. Heā€™s got kind of a short attention span, and makes Gojo weary of his age. Hold up, that makes him sound like heā€™s geriatric, heā€™s really only the ripe old age of twenty-seven, but the immortality and infinite stamina that a five-year-old boy has on him is enough to have him huffing and puffing at the end of every single evening shift he takes on with the rascal.Ā 
Fighting is all sprint, and no stamina. Sure, there might be some more seasoned boxers that might disagree with him, but for someone as young as him in the field, itā€™s the tactic heā€™s been forced to gain. If he draws a fight on for too long, he'll get killed by a forty-two year old man with steroids clogging up his adipose tissue and enoughĀ  testosterone to grow a full-body beard by the time the sun starts to set. No, his strategy is to knock them out within the first fifteen seconds. Use their weight against them, and whatnot. A tactic heā€™s found has worked, since heā€™s been undefeated thus far.Ā 
He can never wrap his head around it. The drug lords that run the rings whoā€™ve gained millions the night before from selling crystal meth only to lose it all the night following in the second Gojo hooklines a solid punch to their betting boxerā€™s chin, making them see God & their Momma before they tap out (if theyā€™re even able).
He doesnā€™t pocket much money from it, not anything compared to what the men who bet on him end up making at least, but itā€™s a decently solid sum. How lucrative it really is depends solely on what he thinks the value of his life is.
Itā€™s not unheard of, boxers dying in the ring. Turns out, rich drug dealers care very little about the sheep theyā€™ve captured to perform their entertaining little stunts. But Gojo wasnā€™t doing all of this to feel some sense of work-life pride, no, it was just sustenance. When basic needs are not met, humans resort to the most animalistic of all behaviors, and while heā€™s not proud of what he does, he canā€™t deny the fact that itā€™s turned him into an adrenaline junkie that gets a rush in his veins every time he knocks a jaw loose.
But balance was key. And hence why heā€™s a boxer by night, babysitter by day. For at least four days a week, he gets to pretend heā€™s the kingā€™s most trusted appointed knight, or heā€™s the radioactive tyrannosaurus rex that wants to tyrannize all the other dinosaurs, or maybe heā€™s the evil power ranger (he always forgets which color that one was) that is determined to make the world a living hell by smashing mr. potatohead against the bunk bed post a billion times for all the other toys to see. Or whatever other imaginative hyperfixations Yuuji imposes on him in the later afternoon once heā€™s had his bowl of spaghetti-Oā€™s and is ready to play. Lately, the kidā€™s been really into space. Theyā€™ve got all sorts of space toys these days. Back in Gojoā€™s day, he just had a good olā€™ Buzz Lightyear.
ā€œOne rule, thatā€™s it: donā€™t accidentally kill my son. Actually, one more rule. Donā€™t flirt with my daughter.ā€Ā 
Thereā€™s a part of Gojo that believes your mom kind of knows heā€™s up to shady shit at night, otherwise why else would she clause for him to not flirt with you if she didnā€™t read the slight swell to his eye and the healing gash across his cheek as anything other than this boy is trouble and I want him nowhere near my too-good-for-him daughter of reproductive capacity since thatā€™s the exact tale of how I became a single mother in the first place. Or maybe he inherently looks like heā€™s up to no good? Heā€™s not sure which angle is more offensive, and which one was more flattering. Well in any case, she entrusted Yuujiā€™s life to him, despite acknowledging the plausibility of harm, and that means she overall thinks positively of him, right? ā€¦ā€¦right?
The first night he met you, it was awkward to say the least. Gojo spends most of his nights performing deadly stunts for middle aged men with potbellies, and most of his days hanging out with a five-year-old (one who heā€™d argue is his only friend at this point). Sure, heā€™s got some people he sees occasionally back in his high school hometown when he can brave hearing about how everyoneā€™s in college now or doing a masters or theyā€™re working respectable nine-to-five day jobs meanwhile he has to lie to his Pops that heā€™s been working in insurance for the past two years. Listen, in fairness, he probably makes the same amount of money as an insurance broker would anyways, but he canā€™t exactly own up to the identity of his craft.Ā 
Anyways, the point is, heā€™s not used to seeing other people his age anymore. Thereā€™s the occasional hook-up with girls he hasnā€™t seen since Mrs. Tracyā€™s homeroom period back in sweet two-thousand-sixteen, or his twice-a-year hangout with Suguru where he only learns the day of where he's visiting from since the guy moves around more than Gojo can keep up with. But save for that, he mostly just sees your mom and then Yuuji.Ā 
So seeing you standing in the kitchen for the first time when he went to put Yuujiā€™s half-finished GoGurt back in the fridge was startling to say the least. When the sight of a woman startled him, he knew he needed to start getting out again.
You were on your tiptoes, reaching up to grab at something over the fridge, and wearing these ridiculously short shorts to where he could see the curve of your ass, his line of sight trailing down the skin of your bare legs. He couldnā€™t see anything of your form above your shorts, given you were wearing an extremely baggy t-shirt with NYU on it in big bolded university letters. As far as he knew, you were a senior at NYU, studying psychology, made deanā€™s list consecutively for the past three years given the way your mother posted all your stellar transcripts up on the fridge (he gets that sheā€™s proud of her daughter, but doesnā€™t that kind of stuff usually end in grade school?) But other than that, it was all the information he had on you.
ā€œHere,ā€ he said, pressing his front to your back, maybe just to get a feel, as he reached over to you to finally grab the box of cereal you were swatting for, the one that he purposefully placed at the back because Yuuji learned how to climb counters recently. ā€œIs this what you want?ā€
He had heard you gasp, spinning around on your heel fast, staring up at him with wide eyes like you werenā€™t expecting some random man to be in the house right now, and your first instinct ended up being to grab the knife out of the kitchen knife block and lunge it straight at his torso.
If it wasnā€™t for his boxer reflexes, heā€™d have ended up at the ER that evening. Or dead. All depending on the strength you could pack into a stab. But instead, he deflected it, though not without a gash to his torso through the fabric of his shirt, one that you spent the rest of the evening profusely apologizing for and eventually mending to with cotton balls and neosporin.Ā 
ā€œI didnā€™t know you were my little brotherā€™s babysitter,ā€ you mumbled with a small wince on your face as you dabbed ointment on the wound while he pulled the hem of his shirt up to his shoulder. Heā€™s never had an injury tended to before. It was nice.
ā€œItā€™s fine, I get it, totally acceptable response to seeing a random dude in your house.ā€
He remembers the curl of your eyelashes while you stared down at his bare upper half, something he imprinted on his memory rather than the concern in your face as your fingertips traced the scars across his chest. He hoped they made you feel better about the one you just slashed into him, because after all, what was one more?Ā 
He knows he shouldnā€™t have, but he kissed you that night. Two minutes before your mom came home, and right after you bid him goodnight with one more apology, he backed you up against the door of your bedroom, his hands on your hips pulling you towards him, and his lips pressed against yours. Something seamless, from candid conversation that was heading towards an end, to full fledged making out against white-painted wood, his teeth nipping at your lip and he wondered just how touch-starved those university boys were leaving you given the desperate way youā€™d clinged to his shirt for dear life as he deepened the kiss.
The moment only lasted one minute and fifty-seven seconds, and in the remaining three, your motherā€™s key pushed into the front door and he had to pull away. Always, on the dot, 10PM, she was home. It was how he knew he had two minutes left to make a move in the first place.
So much for no flirting.
6:57pm Gojo Satoru: Bahahah I accidentally forgot where yuujiā€™s epipen is 6:58pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo] 6:59pm Gojo Satoru: Turns out this can-o-soup was just covering it in the cabinet
7:01pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): ??? why did you need to find his epipen
7:08pm Gojo Satoru: Oh he accidentally took a bite of my pad thai 7:09pm Gojo Satoru: I freaked cuz I thought it had peanuts in it but I remember I asked for it without anyĀ  7:09pm Gojo Satoru: shitā€™s crazy
7:10pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TEXT ME????????
7:12pm Gojo Satoru: YOU SAID YOU DIDNT WANT ME TEXTING YOU UNLESS IT WAS AN EMERGENCY ?
7:13pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): SATORU YOU THOGHT HE ATE SOMETHING W PEANUTS IN IT AND YOU FORGOT WHERE HIS EPIPEN WAS THATSS A FUCKIGN EMERGENCY
7:15pm Gojo Satoru: THE KID IS DOING FINE HES ALIVE JESUS LEAVE ME ALONE 7:16pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo] 7:16pm Gojo Satoru: See. heā€™s chill 7:17pm Gojo Satoru: with intact airways might I add 7:18pm Gojo Satoru: Also isnā€™t he a little too old to still be watching baby sensory videos?
7:20pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): yeah my mom thinks he has adhd :(
7:22pm Gojo Satoru: oh
He tried to keep his word though (although he doesnā€™t recall ever giving it) out of the respect he had for your mom. She was a hard-working lady, single mom of two who went from working three jobs to now being a major administrator at a big law firm near the outskirts of town. It was an underdog story if heā€™d ever heard one, and he loved an underdog story.Ā 
But a little texting here and there wouldnā€™t hurt, right? Or so he thought, until you told him to cut it out with the contact. Maybe you were just trying to be the good one in this situation. After all, hooking up with your little brotherā€™s babysitter? That sounds more like a bad porno than a sensible decision. Still, heā€™ll eventually get your replies to his which shirt should Yuuji wear to the park? and look, the toothfairy gave him the butt of a joint and a couple thumbtacks for his front tooth. heā€™s ecstatic texts, although in a less timely manner than before when you werenā€™t trying to preserve propriety. And when youā€™d occasionally visit every other weekend, heā€™d do his best to keep his hands in his pockets, and youā€™d fill up your nights with hangouts with your hometown friends to avoid spending too much time with him at the house. A silent agreement to not fuck each other, it was.Ā 
4:55pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): send pic of yuuji pls i miss him :(
5:04pm Gojo Satoru: [sent a photo]
5:08pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): IS THAT BLOOD?!?!?!?!
5:09pm Gojo Satoru: chillllllll itā€™s fake. Weā€™re working on his halloween costume
5:09pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): WHY DOES IT HAVE BLOOD?!?!?!?!?!?
5:10pm Gojo Satoru: He wants to be a baby xenomorph and I'm his parasitic host. You know that iconic chestburster scene from the old school alien movies? yeah
5:12pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): satoru please for the love of god just dress him up as a dinosaur or something
5:13pm Gojo Satoru: Iā€™m not the one that came up with the idea, okay? It was him
5:14pm yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): because you let him watch adult swim with you before putting him to bed. youā€™ve deranged his brain.
5:14pm Gojo Satoru: He needs it. Builds character.
Gojo was living a double life, and if someone asked him, heā€™d say it was less of a Clark Kent way and more of a Bruce Wayne way, although in reality, he knows itā€™s close to neither. Heā€™s no superhero with a concealed identity fighting crime, heā€™s a con artist thatā€™s tricked a hard-working woman into hiring him just because heā€™s trying to save up enough money to get the fuck out of this godforsaken town, given heā€™s not knocked dead before then for the crimeā€™s amusement.
But Yuuji looks up to him now. And Gojoā€™s grown attached to him too. He taught the kid how to tie his own shoes and piss inside the actual toilet like a real man. And that kidā€™s the only thing thatā€™s made him question any of this. Maybe thatā€™s what dads feel, suddenly held to all this impossible responsibility and the pressure to stop doing stupid shit so that youā€™ll stick around to see your kids get older. The thought that there are eyes on you now, eyes that are innocent and hopeful and learning, and because they know nothing at all, you feel the responsibility to protect them from everything. For fucks sake, remind him to never become a dad.Ā 
ā€œDo you like my sister?ā€ Yuuji had asked him out of nowhere one afternoon after he just got home from preschool, stacking a blue cube over a yellow one at the dining table.
ā€œUhh,ā€ Gojo starts. He wondered if your mom had put a wire on the kid, so his answer was as diplomatic as he could manage. ā€œYeah, sheā€™s cool. Youā€™ve got a cool sister.ā€
ā€œBut. But.ā€ Yuuji stutters, trying to find his big boy words. He stretches up higher to reach the top of his stack of blocks, but he only has so much arm real estate at the age of five. ā€œDo you like her like you wanna kiss her?ā€
Gojo grabs the block from the kidā€™s hand, for a moment questioning Yuujiā€™s decision to want to put a blue block over another blue block, but he figures aesthetics are the least of a kidā€™s concern, and so he places the block where Yuuji wanted it.Ā 
Why does the kid know what kissing is anyway? Do kids know that kind of stuff at that age? Isnā€™t a kiss to a five-year-old just something their mom gives to them before they head off to preschool for the day? And not something that happens between adult men and women? Maybe he should stop watching that adult swim in front of him.
ā€œNo. I donā€™t want to kiss your sister,ā€ he says, again, because he is suspicious of a wire. It was a lie and then some, because he wants to do a lot more than just kiss you.
Gojo lifts the RedBull he was nursing up to his lips and watches Yuuji in the corner of his eye as the kid stares at his growing stack of blocks with a concentrated expression on his face, his chubby fingers squeezing tightly into little round dimpled balls, like heā€™s putting together all his tiny brain cells together to form another coherent thought before turning to face Gojo on the chair.
ā€œItā€™s ok. You can kiss her if you wanā€™ed to. You can marry her too,ā€ Yuuji says.
Gojo almost spits out his RedBull. He barely manages to swallow it, a broken cough immediately leaving his throat when some of the liquid goes down the wrong pipe and heā€™s smacking a fist against his chest to knock the sanity back into himself.
ā€œWhere the fuā€”ā€¦where the flip did that come from?ā€ he asks, blinking back tears from the rasp in his throat.
Yuujiā€™s small shoulders sulk as he sits back on his heels. ā€œI want a papa.ā€
Oh fuck that hurt. Jesus christ, there was nothing more sad than that. Yuuji has literally never known what itā€™s like to have a dad, since his had left before he was even born. Gojoā€™s not really close to his old man by any means, but he had still been a fatherly figure in some pivotal moments when he had needed it growing up. Kids need their dads. And heā€™s seen enough people lose their way without one to know that the value of them is really underestimated.
Heā€™s also kind of shocked that Yuuji really did think of you as his motherly figure. Maybe since it had always just been him and his dad, Gojo learned how to self sustain from a young age, and he and his dad became accustomed to just looking after their own interests to avoid the headache of tending to one another. My land is my land, and your land is yours, and there was the occasional Saturday night spent together with his dadā€™s millions of beer bottles emptied dry on the carpet in front of the 1992 box TV as the two shared a greasy pizza from the place down the street. That was the extent of family solidarity that he knew.
But he canā€™t imagine being barely eighteen and having to take care of your little brother all by yourself because your mom was too busy trying to put food on the table and was too poor to hire a babysitter. Your mom tried so damn hard to keep you away from the single teenage mother life, but somehow ended up giving it to you by proxy in the end anyway. It was no wonder you wanted space now that Yuujiā€™s a little older and your mom can afford a babysitter. No matter how much you might love your sibling, being their effective guardian out of pure necessity had to have taken a toll.
Gojo clears his throat before he speaks. ā€œBuddy. If I married your sister, weā€™d be brothers. I wouldnā€™t be your dad.ā€Ā 
Yuujiā€™s eyes light up at the word brother. ā€œBrothers? Me and you?ā€
ā€œYeah. Bros.ā€
The kid giggles, all bubbly with cheeks rounding fully and eyes sparkling. Gojo reaches out to ruffle at his hair before Yuuji gets down onto one stubby leg at a time from the chair then bolts towards the kitchen.
ā€œJuice!!ā€ he yells somewhere around the corner out of sight.
Gojo sighs, staring at all the toys he pulled out for Yuuji to play with, all left in a scattered mess across the table. He gets up out of his chair and heads towards the fridge. ā€œYeah, yeah. Iā€™ll get you your juice, you little demon.ā€
The conclusion he comes to, and it might read like an obvious one, is that kids donā€™t really know the reality of life, hence why adults hide so much from them.Ā 
This is what he thinks of tonight when he wraps his worn out boxing tape around his hands and his wrist, tightening it with his teeth, and he can smell the sweat and grime from them. The back of the underground gym had an old dated locker room, and as Gojo stretches his neck side to side while sitting on the stiff metal bench, he eyes the peeling red paint of the locker in front of him, blurring vision making it look like spilt blood.Ā 
His phone pings with a text. He shuffles inside his duffle bag to look for it while his other hand scratches at his bare chest.
1:07am yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): hhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 1:07am yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): omgomgomg sor y iā€™mĀ 
He blinks at the screen, confusion flashing across his face. He types one letter, but then he sees three dots and a speech text bubble in the bottom left, so he waits for you.
1:09am yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): i drunk :(
The corner of his mouth ticks up slightly.Ā 
1:09am Gojo Satoru: Yeah I can tell
1:10am yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): at a apartyyyy
His eyebrows raise slightly, the thought of you tipsy on some frat party couch flashing through his mind, yet of all things you could be doing at that frat party, youā€™re texting him? Must be a really boring party.
1:11am yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): whyyy are you aawake?
1:12am Gojo Satoru: Couldnā€™t sleep 1:12am Gojo Satoru: Donā€™t you have a midterm in the morning?
1:14am yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): wtf hwo do you knwo that
1:15am Gojo Satoru: Your mom keeps your schedule posted on the fridge
1:15am yuujiā€™s sister (no flirting): im so fucked;ā€™;(((
He snorts. Heā€™s got a bit more life experience than you, five-ish years to be exact, more than enough time to master the no-hangover hangout, but just before he can offer you some advice, he sees another text from you.Ā 
1:16am yuujiā€™s sister (no flirting): can i tell u smethingĀ 
His gaze flits up to the ceiling briefly, and he hears commotion outside the thick walls of the locker room. The previous fight was over, and fast. The guy mustā€™ve been knocked out in under twenty seconds tops, which means that Gojo was next up against whatever superbeast just beat him up.Ā 
1:17am Gojo Satoru: Sure
He stands up, placing his phone down on the bench before he flexes the muscles in his arms a couple times to get the blood flowing into them. And thereā€™s the noise of another ping. Actually, four.
1:14am yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): sonetimes 1:14am yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): i thikn ofĀ  1:14am yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): when u kisse me 1:14am yuujiā€™s sis (no flirting): *kissed me
His eyes widen slightly, irises dry to the ashy cigarette smoke from outside lingering in the air, and his heart rate picks up a bit. An adrenaline junkie with close to no fear in his veins due to the way his amygdalaā€™s been fried to a crisp from years of boxing, yet heā€™s got his breath hitched from the memory of your soft lips against his. It makes the blood rushing through the muscles of his arms rush somewhere down south instead.
Loud banging on the door of the locker room jolts him out of his trance, and heā€™s stiff around the edges once more.
ā€œSatoru! Youā€™re up, man,ā€ he hears Danny, the fight coordinator, yell at him from the other side of the heavy & poorly-installed steel door.
Gojo sighs, glancing down at the texts on his phone. To respond, or not to respond. Youā€™re off your face, clearly chatty from the alcohol, and he knows for certain youā€™ll regret every life decision youā€™ve ever made once you wake up in the morning and see the self sabotaging behaviors youā€™ve engaged in tonight. He knows that responding to you might put you at ease rather than straight up ignoring you, but the feeling will pass, and he has a match to win with no more room left to stall.
He makes his way out the locker room, pushing past the crowded halls of people underneath dim flashing club lighting, some dudes angrily jerking to face him when he pushes past them with a stiff shoulder, only for their eyes to widen when they see just exactly who pushed them.Ā 
Thereā€™s strippers in the ring, doing some routine for pre-match, and Gojo narrows his eyes at the man he sees laying back over the rubber boundary rope, head tipped back up to the ceiling with a wicked grin on his face. So that was his opponent? Heā€™s never seen the guy before. Was he from a different district? Different district talent was tough, you had no background info on them, while theyā€™ve been preparing to be here for weeks. Hence why boxers tend to do better when they visit a different district than they do in their own. There have been rules made to limit these types of fights, mostly over outrage that it was unfair to bid on them, but they were also usually more entertaining to watch. Gojoā€™s got a sick feeling to his stomach as the strippers clear the ring.
ā€œHey,ā€ Gojo calls out, grabbing Danny by the back of his collar and dragging him towards him and away from the girls stepping down onto the floor, ā€œwhatā€™s in for this fight?ā€
Danny glances up at the ceiling. ā€œTarpā€™s bettinā€™ tonight, so it canā€™t be anything less than ten grand for you. Iā€™d say tops fifteen?ā€
Gojo narrows his eyes further, then glances off into the ring again. The man stands up, and Gojo gets a better look on his face. Heā€™s got short hair, neon green in color with a dark fade underneath and tattoos all over his face. But those eyes. They were freakishingly red, and it made him uneasy. He knows the type. The type of boxers that do this to genuinely hurt people for thrill. Make no mistake, Gojo understands heā€™s made himself out to be like that too, gaining some kind of rush out of this profession, but this type of fighter was different. The type to literally continue smashing a dudeā€™s face into the floor until theyā€™re a bloody mess even minutes after the winning call, and no referee to stop it because thatā€™s the kind of action the spectators wanted.
Danny reads his line of sight. ā€œThatā€™s Gale. Newtonā€™s new boxing toy. Came outta nowhere about a month ago. Heā€™s undefeated so far in his district, and Newton specifically wanted to see you up against him tonight,ā€ Danny tells Gojo, resting his elbow up on his bare shoulder. ā€œChances are heā€™ll compete with Tarp for final bid if you win this one. Iā€™m talking twenty-five grand in the next if you can knock him out in this.ā€
ā€œUh-huh,ā€ Gojo acknowledges, rolling his shoulder so Dannyā€™s elbow falls from it. Forget the money, he just wants to make it out of this alive.
He sets his foot up on the square, ducking through the dividing boundary straps and the tacky caution construction tape that the gym thinks creates an exciting ambience. He hears the static of the speakers as the announcers call out Gojoā€™s name, then this other guy, loud bass club music booming through Gojoā€™s chest as he tries to take a few deep breaths through the thick air of this low-ceiling arena.Ā 
The dim overhead lights flickered, casting shadows over the makeshift ring, and the crowd pressed tight around at every perimeter area, yelling and pushing, one even tosses a beer bottle on the square and it shatters, spreading glass all across, a few shards reaching Gojoā€™s feet and he looks down at them with a shudder. A fight immediately breaks out in the crowd over something related or possibly entirely unrelated, and heā€™d have no way of knowing as he swipes the shards away with his heel.
The influential men always sat up on higher seating, off towards the back in their own VIP section where they suck in the smoke of fat cigarettes and peer through 100% tinted sunglasses to assess the boxers theyā€™ve bid thousands on. The light reflects off the golden grills of their teeth with every snarl at any passerby that gets too close, like a lion in its den. Thatā€™s what the sanction was called. Lionā€™s den.
Gojo sighed, eyeing the twisted grin of this Gale guy across from him. Was that his real name? Usually, foreign district guys get nicknames. Gojoā€™s always thought the nicknames were tacky, and heā€™s accumulated some of his own over the years, but to his ears, none of them ever really landed, although The White Fox admittedly was kinda nice. Reminded him of throwback shooting games.Ā 
He sucked a breath in through his teeth, holding his hands up in front of his chest in weak fists, storing energy in them in the form of pure anticipation alone, and then the bell rang.
His opponent lunged towards him immediately, fists flying in a barrage of reckless strikes, and Gojoā€™s eyes momentarily widened in the briefest moments of hesitation he had been allowed before ducking and dodging every one of this guy's shots, then jumping a step back to create distance.
Fuck. He was fast. Not just boxer fast, athlete fast. There was a difference. And it wasnā€™t a good one to be up against.
Gojo picked up light on his feet. He couldnā€™t win this one fast, that much was certain. One single careless or reckless move, and heā€™ll get tackled. He knows that by the malicious look he sees on that guyā€™s face, grin wide like heā€™s some cannibalistic beast.Ā 
Stepping back towards the center, Gojo purposefully set himself up for Gale to swipe a vicious hook towards his head, before Gojo last minute ducked down, crouched to the floor, and swung his leg out to knock the guy off balance by his ankles, and he falls onto his back with a loud thud!
Thereā€™s a moment of momentary silence from the crowd, right before Gojo put the man in a torso-lock, twisting him in a way a human body should absolutely not be twisted, hearing the grunts of pain and the crack of spine even through the shouts of the crowd.
He can hear it. Kill him! Knock his fucking teeth out! Snap his neck like a goose, man! FIN-ISH HIM! FIN-ISH HIM! FIN-ISH HIM!
He feels like throwing up.Ā 
Gojo looks up at the referee, who wasnā€™t really a referee, just there to run the clock when there was action and only barely stop it before near death. ā€œThis is enough, right?ā€ he asks.
The referee nods. ā€œ1-0, next round.ā€
Gojo lets go of his opponent, leaving him there to heave for a moment before he gets up onto his feet again. Just needs one more, and heā€™s a winner. Ten grand in his pocket, and he wonā€™t have to come back here for a couple weeks.
Gale gets up, swiping at the spit that had trickled out the corner of his mouth down to his chin, and he had an enraged look on his face. The second the bell rang for the second round, he exploded forward towards Gojo with even more fervor than before, gritted expression with a thirst for violence fueling the storm of punches he was throwing towards Gojo but he tried to remain calm, light on his feet, swiftly duck and avoid before he can find another opportunity to clear a sharp, clean jab right to the ribsā€”
sometimes, i think of when you kissed me
Gojo misses his strike, leaving his guard wide open, and Gale takes the opportunity to land a solid punch straight to his jaw, sending his mouth guard flying straight out of his mouth into the air, and knocking him backwards onto the ground with a thud and then he finds himself staring up at the rusting metal ceiling and a ringing in his ears that almost matches the roar of the crowd.
His head is in a haze, dizzy like where one second could feel like a millennia. He feels a soreness underneath his chin, a pain that radiates to his mouth, and he briefly swipes his tongue over his front teeth to make sure he still has all of them.Ā 
What the fuck was that? That intrusive thought. Thereā€™s no intrusive thoughts allowed in life or death situations, not when he was always just one smash to the head away from a permanent concussion. But, fuck, he canā€™t help it. Canā€™t help thinking of you. Even when his vision has gone blurry and he should really be weary about what happens next in this ring, his mindā€™s just thinking about you, at some frat party, tipping back shots of tequila and waiting for a text-back in response to your tipsy ones. Were you even waiting up on him? Have you already passed out on the couch, or were your friends dragging you back to your dorm? Or are you fucking some other dude right now? Has he got his hand up your top, squeezing at you, sleazily feeling you up before spilling beer all down your shirt, and are you kissing him back with the same enthusiasm, your phone now somewhere long slipped between the cushions of the couch and out of sight?
Even though itā€™s still sore, he tenses his jaw. Grinds his teeth, even. Tasting blood somewhere along the line of his gums, he realizes his lip is split. He licks at it, the flavor of copper more rich on his tongue, and he clenches his fists tightly. Whyā€™s he thinking of that right now? It just pisses him off, the thought of you with some other dude. Maybe thatā€™s what he needs to win this fight. Spite. Although heā€™s not sure why the guy across from him at the ring has to pay for it.
He lifts his head up off the ground, and while it felt like years he had been down, a glance at the timer tells him itā€™s only been a solid four seconds. A solid four seconds that his opponent had to fully charge a lunge towards him with the look of death in his face, raising his elbow up into the air in time with his leap, ready to come straight down, and Gojoā€™s eyes widen at the sight above him from where heā€™s still lying on the wood.
ā€œShitā€”ā€ he cusses, rolling his body over to the side so that the dude falls straight down onto the floor rather than elbow Gojo in the fucking ribs, and then he gets back up on his feet.Ā 
Stakes were high, he has to end this, he has to end this now, and he flexes the muscle in his right bicep, channeling everything he has into this one blow, and before Gale even really has a chance to turn around and face him again, Gojoā€™s already three-fourths set up a knockout undercut that he drives straight up the guyā€™s chin, with so much force it has him lifting up off the floor, a vertebrate stretch to his spine before heā€™s sent flying backwards and slammed against the tight rubber lining of the ring to where he was half hanging over it.
The room fell silent for a split second, then erupted in a roar as the referee fell to one knee beside Gale, checking him for any semblance of consciousness, and when he found none, he waves the match off.Ā 
Gojoā€™s eyes flit up towards the lionā€™s den, the only opinions that he really needed to care about were sitting in those mahogany chairs with glasses of scotch swirling around in their hands, and he sees some of them looking straight at Gojo before leaning towards one another and discretely talking about something he canā€™t make out because he doesnā€™t know how to read lips.
He feels someone tug at his arms from behind, pulling him to crouch down and he balances back on the balls of his feet. He glances down through the ring at the floor. Danny was leaning against the wooden surface of it. ā€œDude. Go.ā€ He jerks his head towards Gale, who still laid there sprawled across the now stretched out rubber perimeter bands. ā€œGo fuck him up. Knock a few more teeth out, I donā€™t know, get some more blood out of him.ā€
ā€œWhat?ā€ Gojo huffs, yanking his arm away from Dannyā€™s grip. ā€œThe fuck are you saying?ā€
ā€œI told you, man, Newtonā€™s here and heā€™s got his eye on you. Go give him a show,ā€ Danny says, ā€œdo it.ā€ And when he sees clear frustration on Gojoā€™s face he sighs. ā€œTwenty-five grand, consider that, will you?ā€
Gojo sneers at the man, an awful taste in his mouth as he spits blood towards Dannyā€™s feet. ā€œGo fuck yourself on his cock if he wants a show that bad.ā€ And then he ducks underneath the bands and hops back down onto the floor, pushing past people who were trying to grab at him and pull at him and lift him up and even throw him down until he made it through flashing hallways and back to the locker room.
He shuts the door behind him, sliding the bolt lock into the frame so no one can follow him inside, and then he leans his weight back against the chilling steel before tipping his head back until it hits the surface too.
He lets out of a few deep breaths, then stares down at the sting he finds over his knuckles. Red and blistering from the last punch he delivered, and heā€™s almost certain he broke a bone in his hand. Fuck. It was bleeding across the cuts, too. He had to figure out a way to get it all healed by tomorrow, as if that was humanly possible, just because he doesnā€™t want Yuuji questioning him about it.
Yuuji. For fucks sake, when has he ever thought about the kid this much? When has he ever thought about much of anything when heā€™s out here or in the ring? Heā€™s a babysitter by day. Heā€™s a ā€œpartā€ of your family when the sun is up and normal functioning society is breathing their lives into the clean air. Thatā€™s it. Heā€™s no five-year-oldā€™s caretaker in front of all these primetime drug lords, and he certainly shouldnā€™t be thinking of you when facing big, burly men heā€™s aiming to rough up, all within the dead hours of night. So then how come these thoughts are on his mind at all times, twenty-four-seven, around the clock?
He heads further into the locker room, glancing down at the bench where heā€™d left his phone, then picks it up, neck craned all the way down to glance at the screen as he holds his phone by his hip because he doesnā€™t have any energy to pick it up any further towards his eyesight.Ā 
He sees your messages. You never sent any follow-up ones, just your horrendously typed out sonetimes, i thikn of when u kisse me *kissed me across the span of four texts, and Gojo runs a tired hand down his face.
He tips his head back to groan at the ceiling, guttural with no basis other than a release of all the pent up frustration of every sort, then he types in a couple messages to you,
3:23am Gojo Satoru: Thatā€™s nice 3:24am Gojo Satoru: I think about fucking you all the timeĀ 
ā€”and then tosses his phone into his duffel bag to call it a night.
ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜
Youā€™re awoken to your alarm blaring heavily, and you whack your arm across your nightstand table beside your tiny twin-size bed to hit the snooze button, then rub your eye with a loose fist while smacking at the residual taste of alcohol you have on your tongue.Ā 
ā€œMmā€¦ā€ you mumble to yourself. And then the thirst hits you. The overwhelming, intense, unquenchable thirst that leaves your mouth feeling like the Sahara desert before you grab your twice-dented Hydroflask from the nightstand, twist the cap off and chug about twenty ounces of water in one breath.Ā 
You let out a deep exhale and fall back into bed, your hand resting on top of your water-filled tummy, and you stare up at the ceiling of your dorm.Ā 
Last night was horrible. You knew you shouldnā€™t have gone to that frat party, especially given you have an exam inā€”you checked the time on your phoneā€”about an hour, and an hour was not enough time to recover from the raging hangover headache thatā€™s pounding through your head. But your roommates insisted you went, and so go you did. You never knew what to expect, always torn between shaving your pussy before you go or throwing on a stained pair of sweatpants to keep the guys away instead. Sometimes, it was a combination of both. But last night, you ended up drinking more than you usually do, and that always led to poor, poor, poor decisions, in which all the sense of pride you had in yourself was washed down with the puke that you hurled into the upstairs toilet.Ā 
You grab at your phone again, briefly seeing that your friends had sent you some photos from the night. You immediately swiped off to the side to dismiss the notifications, because as far as you were concerned, you never wanted to see those photos in your life.
And then, in the briefest of moments, you saw a familiar name in your notifications that made you heart skip a beat.
Gojo Satoru (yuujiā€™s babysitter)
With an immediate gasp, you pulled your phone to your chest and held it there, blinking up at the pale yellow ceiling, your heart picking up in rhythm.
Oh fuck.
That was right.
You drunk texted him last night.
You drunk texted your little brotherā€™s hot babysitter.
Fuck.
Mortified was an understatement, possibly because you donā€™t even remember what you said, and so you donā€™t even want to see what he replied with.
You groan, rubbing both your hands across your face then kick your sheets back with your feet like a child having a temper tantrum because you were so embarrassed you had even texted him at all last night. I mean, he was hot. A little older than you, really gorgeous eyes, tall, and, yeah, you gave him shit for the Instagram muscles thing, but thatā€™s only because you thought heā€™d find it cheeky that you were trying to humble him despite the fact that heā€™s more toned and ruggedly sculpted than any other man youā€™ve ever met. You didnā€™t want to have a flustered schoolgirl attitude because it would just seep through to his ego.
In any case, he was hot, there was no denying it, so can you really blame yourself? But still. There was collateral with this. You had to see him every other weekend. He knows your family, even your extended since they invited him to Thanksgiving dinner a couple weeks ago. A high-risque drunk text recipient if he ever was one (of course he has been, look at that face). Why couldnā€™t you have just drunk texted ECON160 guy from last semester who Clit DJā€™d you underneath your desk at the back of the lecture hall instead?
The thing that made you nervous about Gojo Satoru was that he was just soā€¦confident? Like, in that I was raised to be this way confident and not that I fought inner demons my whole life to barely end up this way confident, yā€™know? Never had to fake it ā€˜til he made it, he just was. At least that was the kind of energy you got from him, and unfortunately for you, it was nerve wracking but enticing all at the same time.
You sigh. ā€œStupid. Stupid. Stuuuuuupiiiiidddddddddddd. You. Are. So. Stuuuuuupiiiiddddddd,ā€ you sigh, running your hands through your hair to grip at the strands.
You pull your phone away from your chest, and finally brave yourself to read the texts from your notifications screen, but not without blurring your vision a little to further stall. And then you finally refocus it to read them. The first one you see has you gaspingā€”
3:24am Gojo Satoru (yuujiā€™s babysitter): I think about fucking you all the timeĀ 
It has heat spreading across your cheeks, and you blink at your screen, then quickly swipe up to read the previous messages with rushed glides of your index finger on the screen to see that he had sent it to you in response to your barely coherent texts about how you still so often think about that time he randomly pressed you up against the door of your bedroom to kiss you that night you first met him.
I think about fucking you all the time
At 3 in the morning? He decided to send that text at 3 in the fucking morning? That was the devilā€™s hour. Whatā€™s he trying to tell you?Ā 
Oh come on, youā€™re not stupid. And you know he isnā€™t either. The sexual tension was palpable, it was there since the day you two met and you almost stabbed him, and also everytime you were visiting the house, and his shoulder brushes against yours when heā€™s trying to get past you in the kitchen, or when youā€™ve got Yuuji in your arms and the kid is clinging to Gojoā€™s sleeve because he wants him near him at all times. Thereā€™s even sexual tension over the phone, in those stupid texts he sends you all the time about meaningless child care stuff, and honestly, those little updates made your day.
Butā€¦ you donā€™t know much about him, and your mom would kill you if she ever found out you wanted him. And sheā€™d probably pulverize him if she found out he ever made a move on you. Cremated without leaving a trace behind would be an understatement. She thinks heā€™s no good and she thinks youā€™re too good. You know sheā€™s warned him before to not get close to you, as if she was pre-emptively expecting him to try to get in your pants like it was some canon force of the universe, hence why heā€™s probably so fucking awkward around you whenever sheā€™s there too. Like if he accidentally got caught staring at your ankles, your mom would light him on fire, so heā€™d rather not risk it by just avoiding looking at you at all.
Your mom has always been protective of you. Your father was a deadbeat, one she thought she loved, only to watch him leave. And she had to raise a baby all by herself. He re-entered your lives right before you graduated high school, knocked up your mom again with Yuuji, and guess what? Left again without a trace. To be doubly humiliated by a man is a fate you wouldnā€™t wish on any woman, but thatā€™s exactly what your mom went through. It was a wake-up call for her, though. No more living paycheck to paycheck like you had been your whole lives up until Yuuji was born. The kid doesnā€™t even know how lucky he is with everything he has right now. Your mom worked her way up the corporate ladder and made something of herself and now you guys were comfortable, so it was safe to say she had some sort of right to look after her daughter, of whom she simply doesnā€™t want to follow in the same naive footsteps of her youth.
You get it. She wants to break the generational cycle. But it made being with men tough on all fronts, let alone dating. You could never bring a guy home because heā€™d never be enough, even if he cured cancer or could make you orgasm while doing a sixty-nine handstand. And while her overbearing paranoia over what you do or where you are or who youā€™re with has since dimmed slightly since you officially moved out to finish your last year of higher education at NYU, you can still feel her disappointment from a hundred miles away when youā€™re making out with some random frat guy on his beer-stained couch at eleven AM on a Tuesday.
But you got to college. Youā€™ve already made it this far. Youā€™re on deanā€™s list. You graduated high school as salutatorian. Youā€™re the most highly decorated cello player in the state. You won Miss County pageant when you were sixteen for your philanthropic efforts towards feline leukemia. You did online community college for three years so you could stick back after high school and help your mom raise Yuuji, which meant that you had to forfeit your scholarship to Cornell. Youā€™ve spent your whole life being good, you just wanna be bad for a little bit.
And if bad meant fucking the hot and mysterious babysitter, then so be it.Ā 
You pick your phone up, begin blasting what the hell by Avril Lavigne on your dorm room bluetooth speaker, then type a message to him that saysā€”
10:34am you: do it then
ā€”then shove your phone under the sheets and belt out the lyrics aaaall my life iā€™ve been good, but now, ahhhh iā€™m thinkinā€™ what the hell!!! while kicking your feet and clutching your pillow.
ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜ā«˜
Gojo has no clue what divine entity has overcast their gratuitous spirit over him on this blessed Monday afternoon, but heā€™ll thank them for it later once his balls are empty.Ā 
Heā€™s got you on your back, sprawled across the couch in the living room, the first fuck being a rushed one that you offered him with before he has to go pick Yuuji up from circle time at preschool, which wasnā€™t ideal, but heā€™s delirious at the sight of you underneath him right now. Your little NYU shirt, a tighter one this time, bunched up over your bare breasts, otherwise entirely naked other than the flimsy panties dangling at your ankle, and the view of the tip of his cock looking hot and heavy against the velvet of your cunt, slowly pushing in, feeling the warmth of your walls squeeze around him paired with the sweet moan that leaves your lips, makes him fall forward with a bracing hand dug into the cushion by the side of your head because the sensation feels so fucking good he can hardly keep himself upright.
ā€œFuck, youā€™re so tight,ā€ he grunts, pushing himself in further to try and bottom out but heā€™s still got a couple inches he needs you to take, and so you curl your hips upwards towards the cieling to make more room for him, practically putting yourself into a mating press and soon enough heā€™s balls deep, ā€œyou on any birth control?ā€
ā€œUh-huh,ā€ you moan, eyes closed and head tipped back with one hand squeezing your own tit.
ā€œI can cum inside then, yeah?ā€ he asks you, pushing your knees to your chest, slowly drawing his hips back and you squirm underneath him.
ā€œLetā€™s get there first, and then weā€™ll discuss,ā€ you breathe out.
ā€œIā€™ve been there for the past ten minutes, baby. I could cum at any second with the way you look and feel,ā€ he informs you flatly, because it was just the truth and you had to know it, then he feels himself twitch inside, slowly working up to a languid rhythm, almost fearfully like your momā€™s going to pop out somewhere around the corner with a camera crew ready like one of those retro TV shows just to humiliate him on national television for not keeping it in his pants like sheā€™d told him to.Ā 
ā€œHarder,ā€ he hears you whisper, and he rolls his eyes shut to just focus on the feeling. The feeling of your nails grazing down the skin of his chest and his abs, tracing the scars heā€™s collected over the years, and he feels you tightening around him. He leans down to kiss you, fucking you properly now with the squeak of the couch springs echoing across the room, your hums of moans seeping through his lips until heā€™s fully taking them on with an open-mouthed kiss of sloppy tongue.Ā 
The fact that it was wrong felt right to him, and he realizes in this moment heā€™s lost all sense of control. He wasnā€™t just an adrenaline junkie that liked to rough up dudes, he was an adrenaline junkie that wanted to fuck you against all better judgement or moral compass. The way your tits were bouncing, the slap of skin on skin, his balls slapping against your ass while you wrap your legs around him tighter, all convincing him that any consequence made it worth it.
ā€œGood,ā€ he groans the praise, pinning your hands above your head as he rams his hips against yours, your cute moans and squeals sounding like literal music to his ears and he feels heat spread all the way up his neck, ā€œgoooood, keep squeezinā€™ me like that, fuck.ā€ He slows down momentarily, just to take a moment and watch, really look and see the way his length disappears inside of your pretty self with every push forward, and then he works back up to a relentless pace that has you tipping your head back with a slack jaw and eyes closed tightly shut, sprained expression of pleasure spread across.
ā€œOh, oh my god, Satoruā€”ā€ you mewled and he felt dizzy from the sound of his name from your softly parted lips.
ā€œFuck, Iā€™m gonnaā€”ā€ His hand finds itā€™s way between your legs, calloused pads of his fingers brushing against your clit and you jolt underneath him, gasping as your hand shoots out to dig your nails into his bicep for purchase. ā€œIā€™m gonna cum, better tell me where you want it.ā€
ā€œIn me,ā€ you moan, ā€œnowhere else.ā€
He presses his mouth against your cheek in a lazy smile, ā€œAtta girl,ā€ he drawls before pushing your ankles down as far as theyā€™d go near your ears, folding you in half and then reigns all hell into your cunt. He should really care a bit more about your pleasure, but testing your flexibility like this with both his hands holding you down was doing sinful things to his brain, and besides, you had yourself covered with the messy circles you were rubbing over your clit. It was hot to see that too, your nimble pretty fingers so close to the place where he was pounding into you.Ā 
ā€œOh shit, shit, shitā€”ā€ he grunts when starts to see blistering white in his vision, balls straining with a pleasure that was almost painful. The moment he finishes feels like hot flashes in his brain, a heat like the cum he begins to paint inside your walls in time with your release, thrusting over and over and over, each one more staggered as he lets off a long, drawn out groan that comes from deep within his chest with the feeling of you milking him dry and the sound of you enjoying every second of it. He canā€™t remember the last time he came this much or this hard and even after coming down from the high, he feels the remnant pulse of your orgasm around his now half-flaccid dick.
He leisurely pulls out, hearing you let out a soft whimper as he marvels at the sight of his cum slowly dripping out of you and down towards the couch, before he scoops it up with a couple fingers and pushes it back inside. You grip his wrist tightly, but you werenā€™t stopping it, that motion of him plunging it all back into you.
ā€œWant a taste?ā€ he asks, casually.
ā€œMhm,ā€ you nod, face looking flush.
He pulls his fingers out of you, coated with sex, then plugs your pussy with the fingers of his other hand because he kinda likes the idea of you walking around all day with him inside of you, so he doesnā€™t want it getting out. Heā€™s then pushing his other fingers past your lips, pleased to find heā€™s met with not even so much as a grazing of teeth, and he grins, ā€œbet you take a dick in your mouth as good as you take it down here.ā€
Your furrow your brows at him, the pout of your lips seen in the way they were puckered to lick his fingers off clean, and when you release the suction with a smack of your tongue and his fingers were wet from your saliva now, his eyes narrow with desire. You push his face away with the heel of your palm to his forehead. ā€œFlattery wonā€™t make me suck your dick.ā€
ā€œAlright. So? How is it?ā€ he jerks his chin towards your face, pushing against your hand with his forehead until heā€™s hovering over you again, ā€œtaste good?ā€
ā€œItā€™s cum, Satoru.ā€
He shrugs. ā€œBad?ā€
ā€œNo,ā€ you say, and you canā€™t make eye contact, ā€œgood.ā€ You sigh. ā€œHot. I donā€™t know. Salty, sweet. Iā€™m the sweet. Youā€™re the salty. And this conversation is obscene.ā€
He kisses you, capturing your lips softly, tongue darting out to taste whatā€™s on yours. ā€œI like it that way. Dirty. Nasty. Obscene, whatever.ā€
Thereā€™s the slam of a car door heard from the driveway, and the two of you instantly make eye contact with round eyes.
ā€œSaā€”ā€ you stutter, ā€œSatoru.ā€
He gets up off the couch in a panic, and heads to the window of the living room fully butt-ass naked, then peers through the blinds to seeā€”
Your mom was making it up towards the front door, rustling with her keys in her purse. And the last thing he sees before he turns around to face you is her pushing the keys through the lock.
ā€œShit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,ā€ he cusses, finding his boxers off of the floor, hopping on one foot with his cum & slick coated dick flapping around and slapping against his thighs unceremoniously as he tries to get one leg in through them and then the other. Youā€™re trembling as you hook your panties back into place, pull your shirt back down your torso, and even in his extremely panicked state, heā€™s still sad he canā€™t freely stare at your tits anymore. Youā€™re rummaging for your skirt in a haste, looking everywhere for it, and he finds it underneath the coffee table before tossing it to you and then he side-to-side hops towards the coat closet while he pulls his sweatpants up over his ass, in time for you to quickly run and shut the door of the closet closed just before the front door of the house swings open.
The inside of the coat closet is dark, barely enough space in there for a six-foot-four two-hundred-and-twenty pound man, but itā€™s better than being balls deep inside his bossā€™s daughter on the couch when said boss just came home from work.
He hears conversation on the other side of the door, albeit muffled, and he presses his ear to it to hear better while he tucks his dick into his boxers from where it was hanging over the waistline.
ā€œMom! Youā€¦youā€™re home so early,ā€ he hears you squeak out.
ā€œYes,ā€ your mom says, ā€œThe rest of my meetings today are online, so I figured Iā€™d come home when thereā€™s less traffic.ā€
Gojo feels you lean against the coat closet door.
ā€œI see, I see, how was your day at work?ā€ you ask with a tremble in your voice.
ā€œFine.ā€ And then nothing. The silence could mean that was all she had to say, since your mom wasnā€™t really a woman of many words, or it could be a silence that means sheā€™s suspicious about something. ā€œDarling, why is your skirt flipped up and tucked into your panties? Your whole butt is showing.ā€
Through the wood of the door, he hears you softly gasp. ā€œOh, um, I just went to pee. Mustā€™veā€”ā€¦mustā€™ve got caught when I pulled it back up.ā€Ā 
ā€œI see,ā€ your mother says, and Gojo can hear her dropping her heels down near the shoe rack at the entrance. ā€œYou know, I really donā€™t like those short skirts you wear often. Maybe itā€™s just your generation, but I think it looks tacky and cheap.ā€
ā€œMom,ā€ you say, in as stern of a voice as you can manage without sounding embarrassed.
Your mother sighs. ā€œIn any case, where is Satoru? I still would like him to go pick up Yuuji. I donā€™t have the patience to sit in preschool & daycare traffic right now.ā€
ā€œOh gosh, I donā€™t know,ā€ you chirp, and then he hears you let out a small oh no before you lean even more weight against the door, this time somewhere lower, and he realizes youā€™re pressing your ass against it. His eyes narrow with a small frown, and then he realizesā€” his cum must still be trickling down your thighs. You couldnā€™t put your panties on fast enough.Ā 
Shit. Thatā€™s hot. A little fucked up, but hot. He feels his dick harden against the fabric of his boxers, and he rests his forehead against the door, fringe stuck to his forehead with sweat as he slips his hands down his sweatpants and then gives his cock a firm squeeze. The thought of you discretely swiping his cum up your inner thigh and smearing it against your thin panties so your mom doesnā€™t catch sight of it dripping down your legs has him slowly working up to a rock-solid erection, and he almost lets out a broken grunt from the feeling.
ā€œWhat?ā€ your mother says, ā€œwhat do you mean you donā€™t know?ā€
ā€œIā€™ve just been watching TV this whole time,ā€ you say, ā€œlast time I saw himā€¦he wasā€¦um, in the backyard pulling weeds?ā€
He lets out a small scoff through his nose at your cover-up. Cute. And not bad.Ā 
Your mother sighs loudly, and he glances down at the strained veins on his dick as he tugs it through his hand, the tip rearing and appearing flushed and dripping with precum. God, you were just on the other side of this door. Less than a few inches away, and heā€™d be inside of you.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m going to take a shower. Go find him and tell him to pick up Yuuji soon. But before then, change into something less revealing,ā€ your mother says in a more or less detached tone, and he can hear the stomps of her footsteps up the stairs from above him in the coat closet.
The two of you wait at least a solid minute, and just when the coast is clear, he hears you turn the knob of the coat closet and slowly crack it open.
ā€œOkay, I think sheā€™s in the shower, I hear the water running,ā€ you whisper at him, ā€œyou can go nowā€”ā€ You glance down towards his groin, your jaw dropping. ā€œWhatā€”ā€¦Satoru, why the fuck is your dick staring at me right now?!ā€ you whisper-hiss at him.
He pulls you into the coat closet, pushing your front against the door to where it clicks shut, and you gasp when his hands pin your wrists crossed behind your back and his dick presses into the plush of your ass.
ā€œYou talkinā€™ to your mom while your pussyā€™s stuffed full of my cum was the single hottest thing thatā€™s ever grazed my lizard brain,ā€ he tells you, flipping your skirt up and hooking your panties to the side, his index finger briefly brushing against your entrance to find it still leaking from the way your walls were pulsating from his words. And then he aligns his tip to your entrance. ā€œNow keep quiet while I do this, ā€˜kay?ā€
ā€œOhā€”ā€ you gasp, your cheek pressed against the door as you arch your back and push your ass out for him, ā€œokayā€”ā€ you say, barely vocalizing the first syllable before heā€™s already stuffing himself inside of you with one solid glide of a push, making you yelp loudly and he has to instantly cup a hand over your mouth.
ā€œShhhhhh,ā€ he hisses at you, immediately starting to pound you from behind, ā€œtold you toā€” fuuuck,ā€ he catches sight of his length covered with a mix of your glassy arousal and his white cum, now starting to cream at the base of his cock, ā€œjesus christā€”ā€ he breathes out, squeezing the flesh of your ass harshly with his other hand and you let out another yelp, ā€œI told you to fuckinā€™ keep quiet.ā€
ā€œIā€™mā€”mff,ā€ you muffle against his palm, ā€œIā€™m trying but,ā€ your hips move back in time with his, ā€œfeels good, feels too good,ā€ you mewl, and his hand desperately yanks up the fabric of your shirt so he can squeeze at your breast.
ā€œYeah?ā€ he grunts, hypocritical for telling you to keep it down when he was slamming his hips against your ass with so much fervor he wouldnā€™t be surprised if the sound was reverberating across the entire house, ā€œyou like it when I fuck you while your momā€™s all clueless just up the stairs?ā€ His rhythm falters, feeling his release building, and his hand reaches in front of you to rub your clit, making you drop your head against the door with tightly closed eyes. ā€œGetsā€” youā€”wet, doesnā€™t it?ā€ he torments you, his lips near your ear as he slams his hips against you harshly with every enunciated syllable.Ā 
ā€œMhm, mhm,ā€ you easily agree, or maybe thatā€™s because itā€™s all you can really articulate, and he angles his hips up so his balls slap more fervently against your clit, making you scream into his palm while he picks up the pace of the circles he draws on your clit and in one, two, threeā€” beats of his pounding heart, he feels you come undone around his cock, gushing wetness leaking out of you, he can feel the mess of fluids splattering on the skin of his thighs due to each of his heaving thrusts as he cusses out a fuuuuuuckkk before spilling his cum inside of you, a short-lived and thicker release this time that has you mewling from overstimulation, and in a few following thrusts, heā€™s given you everything he had to give.
His eyes open, he wasnā€™t even aware he had shut them in the first place, and he glances down at where the two of you were joined. Rings of arousal coat the length of his half-pulled-out dick, and the second he retreats all of it, a bulging push of his cum seeps out of you, dripping and pooling all over the hardwood floors.
ā€œHoly shit, I wish I could take a picture of this,ā€ he says, taking a step away to commit the sight to memory, your legs trembling and still slightly spread, ass pushed out and when you wiggle it a little, he lets out a huff of an exhale because he just canā€™t believe how sexy you are. Are all college girls like this? Heā€™s never been to college, his old manā€™s been trying to get him to go for years, but maybe this is what finally convinces him.
ā€œNo pics,ā€ you breathe out once you catch your breath, standing up straight slowly, ā€œthatā€™s my one sex rule.ā€
He takes a step closer to you, flipping your skirt back over your ass while you shimmy your shirt down to cover your chest. ā€œThatā€™s the only rule you have? Anything else goes?ā€ he asks.
You spin around to face him, his eyes briefly flitting down to the still exposed skin of your midriff. ā€œI have a feeling Iā€™d be making up more specific rules if it was with you.ā€
He smiles, his hands grabbing your hips before pressing you up against the door again. ā€œI also had a rule. It was to not fuck you. Wait, no, to not flirt with you. Which, technically, I didnā€™t do.ā€
You blink your eyes at him. ā€œYouā€™re kidding, right?ā€
ā€œWhat?ā€ he asks, genuinely confused, ā€œI didnā€™t.ā€
ā€œHuhā€”ā€ you scoff, ā€œhow do you think we got into this situation in the first place?? You didnā€™t just say wanna fuck? You were insufferably flirty with me.ā€
ā€œNahhh nah nah nah nah, baby, thatā€™s not flirting,ā€ he tells you, thumb running circles over your hips, ā€œthatā€™s, likeā€”ā€¦I donā€™t even fuckinā€™ know how it worked on you to be honest, I was just being stupid.ā€
ā€œOh okay so Iā€™m stupid.ā€
ā€œI never said you were stupid?ā€
ā€œWell you said you were being stupid so me falling for it must mean Iā€™m stupid.ā€
ā€œPshhh. Youā€™re cute. Pulling weeds, by the way? Adorable.ā€
Your hand slowly roams up the front of his shirt, the fabric bunching at your wrists until you uncovered up to his collar bone, and you stare at his skin. He tries to not let the way his heartā€™s beating faster show through the heave of his chest.Ā 
ā€œWhy do you have all these scars, anyway?ā€ you whisper to him.Ā Ā Ā 
ā€œToo many girls tryna stab me,ā€ he tells you.
You roll your eyes. ā€œSeriously.ā€ Your thumb traces the one you had left on him.Ā 
ā€œIā€”ā€ He stops himself.
Does he tell you? Should he tell you? What, just because heā€™s seen you naked and you took his dick like a queen heā€™s supposed to open up to you about these things now? He doesnā€™t know. Maybe he could? Maybe you already suspect what he does at night. And if not, at the very least, Iā€™m an underground boxer might make you think heā€™s hot? At the very worst, youā€™ll report him to the cops and heā€™d get fired as your little brotherā€™s babysitter then thrown into jail, but not before the busted cartel gets him first.
ā€œMaybe Iā€™ll tell you some other time,ā€ he says, his hand wrapping around your wrist and pulling it from his chest, ā€œno hyper personal details until youā€™ve had my dick in your mouth at least once or twice. Thatā€™s my one rule.ā€
You snort. ā€œI couldā€™ve guessed that rule from a mile away.ā€
He hums. And then thereā€™s the sound of steps creaking down the stairs above the two of you.
You both make eye contact, eyes widening, internally yelling at each other: how the fuck did we get into this situation twice?!
This time, Gojo opens the door and stumbles out of the closet, leaving you inside of it, just in time for your mom to come down the stairs.
ā€œSatoru. I was looking for you,ā€ she says as she rounds the post. ā€œHave you picked up Yuuji? He has to go for his swimming lessons soon.ā€
ā€œAh, nope, was just about to head out,ā€ he says, letting out a cough to diffuse tension, ā€œsorry, I wasā€”ā€ he points his thumb over his shoulder to behind him, ā€œā€¦pulling out some gnarly weeds.ā€
She narrows her eyes at him. ā€œI see. Well, thanks. If you want, I can add a gardening stipend to your paycheck. Let me know.ā€ And heā€™s not sure how to respond because heā€™s not sure if sheā€™s joking.Ā 
He heads out the door, the keys to your momā€™s minivan in his palm as he throws them up into the air and catches them a couple times. And just before he gets inside the car, he turns on his heel to face the house and pulls his phone out of his pocket to type in a message for you.
3:22pm Gojo Satoru: Send over those me-specific sex rules soon
.
.
.
[the end]
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a/n. hope u enjoyed im shitting bricks posting this bc i haven't posted a oneshot smut since february but thanks so much for reading i appreciate u!! i got way too invested in the whole underground boxer thing šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ but the fact i managed to keep everything under 12k is an accomplishment to me bc if u read my other fics you know iā€™m a yapper LOL i have another kind of a similarly written smut oneshot n itā€™s a lil angsty (totally different au tho) iā€™ll probs post that one next but yea i really like, hmm, i really like exploring entire characters within a short amount of time i enjoy writing the obscure lore drops xd itā€™s been kinda fun so far anywho much loveee hope to see u around! <3
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nereidprinc3ss Ā· 1 month ago
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do you believe me now? | 8
it's the morning after. spencer reid suspects youā€™re left with some doubts after losing your virginity to him. he has to figure out whyā€”which is hard when you're keeping secrets.
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this series is 18+ warnings/tags: fem!reader, blood related to losing virginity (dramatized for the drama duh), super vague allusions to the BAU being hungover, mild blasphemy if anyone even cares, pondering god bc am I really a fanfic writer if I donā€™t get a little religious w it, emily AND hotch are here and nobody knows why pls don't pay attention to that bc we are imagining like season 11/12 spencer and I'm inconsistent w who is unit chief in this series apparently, spencer slut lore, spencer emotional wounds lore, Spencer is a traumatic situationship survivor a/n: DADDYS HOMEEEEE (me and dybmn not spencer) anyway missed these little guys and am happy to be writing for them again!! idk what my upload schedule will becoming back to this but pls lmk what u think of this part, I have no idea how you will respond but I'm being brave and ily
Friday morning Spencer comes into the office fifteen minutes late (he tried his best), in yesterdayā€™s suit (everything in his go-bag had been too wrinkled), hair messy (no doubt from your fingers), coffee cold (heā€™s exhausted) and overall, in anĀ excellentĀ mood.
The rest of the team isnā€™t faring quite as wellā€”Spencer gathers they stayed at the bar celebrating Derekā€™s birthday a lot later than he had. It shows through sallow skin and dark circles and the grimaces he receives on the way to his desk that are probably supposed to approximateĀ good morningā€™s.Ā 
Honestly, he doesnā€™t mind the dull moodā€”he doesnā€™t need the teasing and the prying questions that would be sure to come if his co-workers were at peak performance and were able to put together his unusually perky demeanor and disheveled appearance. At least Prentiss doesnā€™t appear to be paying him any mind. Sheā€™s always the one who can read him like an open book and has no shame in doing so aloud. Echoes fromĀ yearsĀ of, ā€˜so who was the lucky girl,Ā lastĀ night, Reid?ā€™ Still ring through his mind and itā€™s like he canĀ feelĀ her finger prodding at his side.Ā 
TheĀ EmilyĀ of it all makes him smile, though the rest of the memory leaves a metal tang in his mouth. Back in those days, there were sometimes aĀ lotĀ of girls, but even then he was consciously aware he wasnā€™t necessarily doing something he enjoyed. He spent a lot of time, actually, staring at his bedroom ceiling, psychoanalyzing himself.Ā Repetition compulsion. The insatiable desire to repeat or reenact emotionally painful experiences. Maybe he thought if he could teach himself to subsist off of emotionless hookups, he could in some way heal from his experience with Elle. Though, heā€™s hesitant to think of it now asĀ healingā€”itā€™s not like he didnā€™t know what he was doing when a few nights after she saidĀ I donā€™t feel the same Iā€™m sorryĀ he opened up his front door for her. Itā€™s not like he didnā€™t know what he was doingĀ every time after that. So, maybeĀ healĀ isnā€™t the right word, when one doesnā€™t have the right to be injured. Or when the injuries are, in a manner of speaking, self-inflicted. At the very least he could tell himself that this time around, meaningless sex was aĀ choice he was making for himself. Spencer hates when things just happen to him.Ā 
But youā€”youā€™re different. You were a complete surprise. At first, a cute and unexpected complication. After a few painful and short-lived attempts at real relationships, Spencer decided he was simply not to be trusted with emotional intimacy of any kind, including that which inevitably develops from physical intimacy, and would resign himself to a life of celibacy. He tried not to like you, but you were just so damnĀ likable. Magnetic, to use a trite and perfectly honest turn of phrase. All that to say: he doesnā€™t regret you at all. There is no filter of putrid shame or anguish over his memories of last night.Ā 
Just you. Perfect. Starlit. Glowing softly around the edges like youā€™re not even real.Ā 
I love you I love you I love you.Ā A hymn with no melody. You, always reminding him exactly why he is decidedlyĀ notĀ a man of faith. At least, not in the typical sense of the word.Ā 
How God became the idol and not Mary is lost on him. Thatā€™s why, Spencer supposes, tapping an eraser on his desk, marriage and sex were forbidden for so many ecclesiastics. After all, if they knew what it was to love a woman, specifically to loveĀ you, he doubts theyā€™d feel like spending much time in the pulpit.Ā Love. Humans had that long before they had any gods. Itā€™s primeval. Itā€™s the most natural manifestation of devotion and worship. It will always have come first. Isnā€™t it a better kind of religion when a man realizes he can kneel in front of a woman rather than an altar?
A heavy hand falling on his shoulder jolts him from his theological musingsā€”which are in all practicality useless.Ā Whatā€™s that saying about blasphemous thinking on the FBIā€™s dime?Ā Right. There isnā€™t one.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m scared to ask,ā€ Morgan says as Spencer jumps slightly in his chair.Ā 
ā€œWhat?ā€ He mumbles, looking up from the document heā€™d only sort of been reading.
Morgan just looks at him, strong brows furrowed and a ditch between them, angles his head and glances to the side as if Spencer is missing the obvious. HeĀ almostĀ follows Derekā€™s eye-line. When that doesnā€™t work, Derek just says your name. Like your status is somehow in question.Ā 
ā€œDid you two work things out, or not? It looked pretty bad when you guys were leaving last night.ā€
People often misunderstand an eidetic memory. Itā€™s not like things canā€™tĀ slip his mindā€”Spencer can actually be quite forgetful. Itā€™s made worse by the fact that last night at the bar feels likeĀ monthsĀ ago. For a moment, he has no idea what Derek is referring to.Ā 
ā€œOh.Ā Oh!Ā Right, weā€”right. Yeah, we, uhā€”we worked it out.ā€ Before Derek has a chance to read his face, no doubt as incriminating as his fumbled speech and an ill-timed throat clearing, he turns back to his paperwork. ā€œThanks for keeping an eye on her at the bar. I appreciate that.ā€
Itā€™s quiet for a moment, and Spencerā€™s lips twist as he can feel the incoming inappropriate comment.Ā 
ā€œIs that the same suit you were wearing last night?ā€ Morgan quips, his wide grin audible. Spencer can practicallyĀ hearĀ the cartoon gleam of his friendā€™s bleached teeth.Ā 
ā€œNo.ā€
ā€œYouĀ dog.ā€ Derek is still smiling as he claps Spencerā€™s shoulder again. ā€œWhat did you say to her that worked so well?ā€
Spencer clears his throatĀ againĀ and tries to look extremely involved in logging onto his computer, speaking quickly as if heā€™s beyond disinterested and canā€™t wait for the exchange to be over.Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t know what youā€™re talking about. Iā€™m actually trying to work so if you wouldnā€™t mind going back to your desk that would be great.ā€Ā 
ā€œUh-huh.Ā Iā€™ll let you work. But I see you, pretty boy.ā€
Spencer tries not to blush like a teenager as he refuses to look up.Ā 
Naturally the rest of the day is a slow descent into dread and madness as all those good feelings with which Spencer had started his morning begin to harden into something much worse, chilled by your lack of response to the text he sent you earlier. Which was essentially a rehashing of the note he left on your bedside table.Ā 
Maybe it was too much. It shouldā€™ve been one or the other, but not both. Heā€™s overwhelmed you.Ā 
Okay, so maybeĀ thisĀ is what religion is for. A last ditch effort when you canā€™t talk to your girlfriend so you have to try talking to God.Ā 
But Spencer knows you, and he knows something is wrong. You wouldnā€™t just ice him out so blatantly if everything was okay. He catches himself glancing up toward Hotchā€™s window to see if the blinds are drawn, and considers faking an illness to get out of work early and go check on you. But he powers through the remaining hour and a half that he is obligated to stay at work, he bounces a pencil between his fingers, drums at his desk, and gets nothing else done. As soon as 4:59 rolls around, heā€™s out.Ā 
Spencer can hear shuffling on the other side of your door as he stands in the hallway. A pot clatters. The walls hum with the rush of water through the pipes to your sink. He knocks, relieved that youā€™re okay and at the same time struggling with that weight on his chestā€”something cold that leans over his shoulders and whispers into his earā€”so she just didnā€™t want to talk to you.Ā 
Suddenly all sound from inside your unit ceases. For a few long seconds, Spencerā€™s confusion only grows exponentially.Ā 
ā€œWho is it?ā€ You finally call, voice wavering.Ā Also odd. Usually you just open the door.Ā 
ā€œUmā€¦ Spencer?ā€
ā€œAs in my boyfriend Spencer?ā€
He frowns, bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly as he tries to decipher your sudden paranoia. ā€œI hope so?ā€
The click and jingle of several locks precipitates your much-anticipated reveal.Ā 
ā€œCome in,ā€ you say breathlessly, more harried than usual and not giving him the tender greeting heā€™s selfishly become accustomed toā€”barely even giving him a second toĀ lookĀ at you. But he steps inside, watching on in concern as you do up every single lockā€”the one on the knob, the deadbolt, even the chain. Is this really all because of his little comment last night about anyone being able to get in? He certainly hopes not. He didnā€™t mean toĀ terrifyĀ you.Ā 
When you finally turn, he takes stock of your appearance. Big hoodie, pajama pants patterned in little hearts. Hair pulled back hastily. Your skin is sort of dull where you normally glow. But youā€™re beautiful, like always. It always aches just a little bit to look at you. Spencerā€™s always been like that. Going breathless at a particularly good piece of art or pretty girl. Like yourself. Mostly you.Ā 
You quickly turn to hurry back into the kitchen. ā€œI was trying to make dinner, Iā€”ā€
ā€œHold on,ā€ he interrupts, stopping you with a hand on your stomach that is so non-demanding itā€™s really mostly a suggestion. He tries to clear his head, though you make it hard. ā€œYou didnā€™t talk to me all day. Not that you have to, butā€¦ I was worried.ā€
You glance at the floor and mumble, ā€œI lost my phone,ā€ with so much embarrassment he believes youā€™re telling the truth. ā€œDid you, umā€”did you text me?ā€
Insecurity. Spencer knows well what it looks like on you. He softens. You werenā€™t ignoring himā€”but youā€™d been left in a vulnerable state without any ability to contact him or anyone. That couldnā€™t have been comfortable.Ā 
ā€œOf course I did.ā€ He pauses to observe you. Still anxious. Still prepared to run at any second. Something, and heā€™s not sureĀ what, did a number on you today. Maybe itā€™s sheer exhaustion, maybe it was the anxiety of not having your phone. But he has to figure out what it is so he can undo it. ā€œWhat? Whatā€™s wrong?ā€
He watches your breathing pauseā€”watches your eyes gloss over with tears and a frown contort your features.Ā Oh, god. Heā€™s done something terribly wrong. Itā€™s been thirty seconds and heā€™s done something wrong.Ā 
ā€œCan we sit down? I donā€™t feel very good.ā€
ā€œYeah. Yeah, we can. Whatever you need.ā€
You cast a baleful look at him and now he has to wonder whatĀ thatĀ means. Spencer sets his bag on a pulled out dining chair and follows you to the couch where you settle on opposite sidesā€”youā€™re curled up in the far corner, hugging a pillow to your chest with your legs folded in front of you. Spencerā€™s heart is beating fast. He doesnā€™t know whatā€™s going on with you and he canā€™t figure it out just by looking and you donā€™t seem eager to tell him.Ā 
Heā€™s exhausted all his typical ways of collecting information, and now heā€™s at a loss.Ā 
Eventually, the anxiety comes bubbling up.Ā 
ā€œPlease talk to me,ā€ he pleads. And youĀ do. Almost instantly, like he stepped on some sort of landmine.Ā 
ā€œI know itā€™s my own fault for not having my phone on me and not being able to see your texts, but it really sucks that I had to find out from my creepy neighbor that you snuck out in the middle of the night without saying goodbye.ā€
The whiplash is so strong itā€™s almost a broken neck. Spencer reels, frowning deeply as he tries to process your impromptu speech, the sudden confrontation. WhatĀ creepy neighbor?
ā€œIā€¦Ā didnā€™t. I went to grab my stuff from the car around one, but I came right back. I left at 7:30. You donā€™t remember me saying goodbye?ā€
Your brow furrows, and your eyes dart over the design on the rug like youā€™re watching memories go by. He sees it in your eyes when you recall some hazy image of him holding your face, kissing your cheek more times than was necessary and whispering sweet things against your lips before he had to go. You shrink into the couch, clearly struggling under the combined weight of relief and embarrassment.Ā 
ā€œI forgot. I thoughtā€¦ heĀ saidā€¦ā€
A moment passes and itā€™s clear youā€™ve abandoned the sentence. Spencer is concerned about this shadowy male figure who put malicious untruths into your head. He slides his hand under yours and twines your fingers together. Finally,Ā finallyĀ you meet his gaze.Ā 
ā€œSomeone made you believe I left without saying goodbye.ā€
And he almost wishes you werenā€™t looking at him as more tears pool before falling down your cheeks. You nod, and donā€™t make a sound.Ā 
ā€œNo, honey. I didnā€™t do that. Iā€™m sorry thatā€™s what youā€™ve been thinking all day.ā€
ā€œI was worried that youā€¦ or thatĀ IĀ wasnā€™tā€¦ā€
His chest aches. Youā€™d woken up alone, no recollection of his goodbye, and without the comfort of even a text.Ā 
ā€œYou didnā€™t see my note?ā€
The way you look at him then is heartbreaking. Eyes wide and wet and sad, lip trembling.Ā 
ā€œYou left a note?ā€
Murphyā€™s Law. Anything that can go wrong, will.Ā 
It mustā€™ve fallen off the bedside table, or maybe he just hadnā€™t positioned it obviously enough.Ā 
A lost phone, a missed note, and not even a memory of his departure. While none of these things are verifiably Spencerā€™s fault, he feels so, so guilty.Ā 
ā€œI did,ā€ Spencer says gently, scooting closer and pulling you into him, head pressed to his shoulder as you try not to cry, and he rubs your back slowly.Ā 
Your sulky words are muffled by his shirt. ā€œI didnā€™t see it. What did it say?ā€
ā€œA lot of very nice things about you,ā€ he whispers. Spencer thought maybe he could get away with giving you all the sincere compliments you canā€™t accept face to face through a note you could read while he wasnā€™t around. That way you couldnā€™t refute them or stop him. It was a good plan.Ā 
He feels the sigh of relief leaving your body against his neck.Ā 
ā€œI didnā€™t know.ā€
ā€œI know. Iā€™m sorry. Thatā€™s notā€¦ I shouldā€™ve just stayed. This is my fault.ā€
You keep your cheek pressed to his shoulder as you speak.Ā 
ā€œItā€™s not. You have a job. A reallyĀ importantĀ job. You canā€™t just call out whenever I want you around.ā€
Logically he knows youā€™re right, but he doesnā€™t always think logically around you.Ā 
ā€œI couldā€™ve made it work. I couldā€™ve come in late, or the team couldā€™ve called me if there was a case, which there wasnā€™tā€”ā€
ā€œSpencer, itā€™s okay. Itā€™s not your fault. Donā€™t worry about it.ā€
He pulls back slightly, frowning at your tone. You do look relieved, much less plagued than youā€™d been when he arrived minutes ago, but something heavy still weighs you down. The burden of it darkens your eyes and dulls your expression. When he cups your cheek, you glance up at him, and then away once more.Ā 
He speaks softly. ā€œIs that all you wanted to tell me?ā€Ā 
Again he earns a moment of your eye contact, but itā€™s fleeting. He watches the words spin around your head as you try to figure out what to do with themā€”and then choose to remain silent.Ā 
There is in fact something youā€™re keeping from him.Ā 
Spencer hates to use work tactics on you, but he doesnā€™t speak either, hoping that youā€™ll feel compelled to fill the silence with the truth. Knowing how youā€™re not entirely comfortable with quiet.Ā 
And you try, lips parting and the sound delayed as you wrestle with something you clearly donā€™t know how to talk about.Ā 
ā€œIā€¦ my neighbor,ā€ you say, frowning like you donā€™t quite know why youā€™re speaking. ā€œThe one who told me he saw you leaving in the middle of the night. He alsoā€”he saidā€¦ā€
Spencer brushes hair away from your cheek with a thumb, stroking the high point in gentle passes as your words taper off. Now that heā€™s thinking about it, heĀ didĀ encounter a man in a dumpy robe standing in the courtyard and smoking a cigarette when he left you tangled in sheets and dozing contentedly to get his bag from the car. In fact, they rode back up to your floor in the elevator in mostly awkward silence. Spencer was sure his outfit told a storyā€”shirt untucked and hastily buttoned only partway, no belt, shoes barely tied, duffel slung over his shoulderā€”he wasnā€™t really expecting to run into anyone at such an hour, to be honest, but he hadnā€™t particularly cared what this man thought of him, so it didnā€™t cross his mind again.
Now he remembers.Ā 
Long night, huh? I remember those days.Ā 
It was an inappropriate comment, but given his job heā€™s used to ignoring those. Mostly his mind had been preoccupied with the idea of returning to you, who gave him such a warm and sleepy welcome when he climbed carefully back into your arms several minutes later that it was like heā€™d never known anyone else at all.Ā 
Now he resents that he hadnā€™t said anything, he hates the idea that you spoke to this man and he said something to upset you and Spencer wasnā€™t there. Usually he tries not a judge a book by its cover (metaphorically, of course) but heā€™s been around enough bad men to know when heā€™s looking at one. Last night he hadnā€™t even been cognizant enough to realize they got off on the same floor.Ā 
ā€œWhat did he say, angel?ā€ Spencer whispers, incapable of being anything but soft with you at the moment. Even though he senses something a lot like a tide of preemptive anger rising in his chest, painted over with layers of anxiety and guilt.Ā He shouldā€™ve found a way to stay with you this morning.Ā 
You sniffle and let your head fall again, forehead resting against his collar. Instinctively his hand slides to the back of your neck and even at the awkward angle he finds a way to press his lips to yours hair. ā€œCan we talk about it later? I donā€™t feel good.ā€
If itā€™s making you this uncomfortable, SpencerĀ reallyĀ wants to know what passed between you and this neighbor. In fact, heā€™d be willing to bet a lot of your strange behavior this evening stems from something that occurred which you donā€™t feel comfortable telling him yet. But he manages to bite back anymore questions. He doesnā€™t want to make you feel interrogated.Ā 
ā€œYeah, you mentioned that,ā€ he says eventually, kindly, hand tracing down the length of your back and up again. ā€œWhy donā€™t you feel good?ā€
He doesnā€™t miss the way you reach up to discreetly wipe your cheek. But he wonā€™t make you talk about anything you donā€™t want to talk about until youā€™re ready, and it seems like youā€™re already having a rough day. Which isĀ notĀ what he wanted. This isĀ soĀ far from what he wanted for you. Heā€™s cursing himself for how he handled this whole situation.Ā 
ā€œUm, I justā€¦ I donā€™t know. I feelā€¦ bad. Iā€™m sorry Iā€™m being so weird.ā€
ā€œYouā€™re not being weird, honey. You had a hard day. Youā€™re having a normal reaction to an abnormal set of circumstances.ā€
You sit up, sniffing and wiping your tears like you can just make the whole thing go away.Ā 
ā€œNo, I am. I am. Itā€™s all okay now, right? So I donā€™t know why I feel like this. I donā€™t know whatā€™s wrong with me.ā€
He watches helplessly. ā€œNothing is wrong with you. Weā€™veā€¦ itā€™s been a big couple of days. Mostly good, but I think youā€™re probablyĀ reallyĀ tired. Emotionally and physically.ā€Ā 
You bury your face in your hands and nod silently. He still feels like heā€™s shooting in the dark, but youā€™re not entirely comforted yet, and itā€™s killing him.Ā 
ā€œWhatever youā€™re feeling is okay. If this isā€¦ about last night, or this morning, or something entirely differentā€”regardless of what itā€™s about, youā€™re not going to beā€¦ inĀ troubleĀ with me if youā€™re having complicated feelings. And you can talk to me. But it doesnā€™t have to be right now. We donā€™t have to figure it out all at once, okay?ā€
You press the heels of your palms into your eyes, and for a moment, his words sink into silence. When you do raise your head, nodding, the evidence of your discomfort is all over your faceā€”reddened eyes, cheeks polished with wiped tears. But you take a deep breath and try to project whatever it is you think he wants to see.Ā 
The back of your hand is soft under his thumb as he sweeps it, as if he could draw forth more information that way.Ā People speak when theyā€™re ready.
ā€œIs there anything I can do?ā€ He tries, all ramped brow and soft spoken.Ā 
Youā€™re looking at where heā€™s tracing swirls on your hand as you swallow and blink the last of your tears away.Ā 
ā€œUmā€¦ you can say no, butā€”do you think it would be okay for you to maybe stay again tonight?ā€
Spencer sucks in a breath, painfully aware that heā€™s about to let you down.Ā 
ā€œIā€¦ I havenā€™t been home in a week. Iā€™ve been wearing this suit for two days straight and I donā€™t think I would want to share a bed with me again until I shower.ā€ He watches you wilt and lifts a hand to stroke your hair. ā€œBut I do want to spend time with youā€¦ do you maybe want to come stay with me instead? No pressureā€”ā€
ā€œOkay. Yes. Is that okay?ā€
Spencerā€™s brow knits. You seem even more enthused about the idea of going toĀ hisĀ apartment, like now that the opportunity has presented itself you canā€™t wait to get out.Ā Maybe you have some sort of black mold problem.Ā 
ā€œOf course. Do you wanna grab a few things and then we can go?ā€
ā€œUmā€”I also havenā€™t showered today. Do you mind waiting?ā€
ā€œSure. Or you could use mine. With supervision, this time.ā€
Spencer isĀ attemptingĀ to make a joke about your unplanned (and unmoderated) stay at his apartment last week after he leftā€”but looking at your face now heā€™s wondering if he touched a nerve.Ā 
ā€œLikeā€¦ one at a time? Orā€¦ā€
He thought maybe youā€™d be more comfortable around him after last nightā€”and itā€™s not like he hadnā€™t seen you naked before then, either.
ā€œDo youĀ wannaĀ do it one at a time?ā€ He asks gently.Ā 
Thereā€™s this sparkly sort of longing in your eyes that heā€™s seen before, but you tamp it down like always. Youā€™re so cautious. About everything. Even the things youā€™re curious about. Itā€™s sweet and a little sad.Ā 
ā€œIā€™ve neverā€¦ showered with anyone.ā€
The corner of Spencerā€™s mouth twitches as he pushes hair over your shoulder. ā€œI know. You donā€™t have to. We could save like 100 gallons of water depending on how long your showers typically last, butā€”ā€
ā€œSpencerā€”ā€
ā€œSorry, sorryā€”I didnā€™tā€”I didnā€™t mean it like that. Iā€™m not trying to pressure you. You absolutely can take your own shower. You can go first so you get the hot water.ā€
ā€œNo,ā€ you laugh, and itā€™s like a sparkling cloud of gold has settled around you, fractals bouncing off the shine of your cheeks and eyesā€”the sound of your laughter, theĀ lookĀ of it, is such beautiful relief he canā€™t believe how good it feels, but it fades from you quickly. ā€œIt soundsā€¦ I think I want to, I justā€¦ I donā€™t wanna, likeā€¦Ā doā€¦ anything.ā€
For a split second your veiled language mystifies him and then he realizes what youā€™re trying to say without saying. SomethingĀ hasĀ changed since yesterday, when you brazenly referred to it asĀ fucking, and today, when you canā€™t even sayĀ sex. Heā€™s gotten as far as it being something your creepy neighbor said. Maybe. He needs to knowĀ what.Ā 
But thatā€™s not the topic at hand.Ā 
ā€œWe donā€™t have to. I didnā€™t mean to imply that we would do anything like that. I donā€™t expect anything from you.ā€
You swallow.Ā 
ā€œOkay. I wasnā€™t sure.ā€
AboutĀ what?
He says your name. No response.Ā 
ā€œCan you look at me, please?ā€
It takes you a moment, and your head raises like you might need some oil in your hinges, but eventually you manage. Spencer hopes the way heā€™s rubbing your leg is comforting.Ā 
ā€œYou know Iā€™m never, ever going to make you do anything you donā€™t want to do, right?ā€
To his horror, your answer isnā€™t an immediate and resounding yes. Instead you look back down and cover his hand with your own, fiddling nervously with his fingers.Ā 
Eventually, you reply, ā€œYeahā€¦ I know. I just thoughtā€¦ Iā€™m not sure. Maybe itā€™s supposed to be different now.ā€
ā€œIt doesnā€™t have to be. Nothing has to be different. Weā€™re still doing everything on your schedule, okay? And as for the next few days, at leastā€”I think it might be a good idea to take sex off the table altogether.ā€
Your eyes narrow and you hesitate. ā€œWhy?ā€
ā€œBecause I donā€™t want you worrying about it. And I donā€™t think it would feel good for you right now. I think there are things we need to talk about, butā€¦ weā€™ve probably tried enough for a while, hm?ā€
You give him a shy nod and hum your agreement. For a moment he lets his hand linger on your leg and then pulls it back.Ā 
ā€œOkay. Do you want my help packing a bag, or should I wait out here?ā€
ā€œYou can wait. It should only take a minute.ā€ You pause, halfway up to look pensive. ā€œUm, Spencerā€”do you think it would be okay if maybe Iā€¦ if I stayed tonightĀ andĀ tomorrow? I justā€”I wanna get out of here, for a bit.ā€
He frowns but doesnā€™t hesitate. ā€œOf course. Can I ask why?ā€
ā€œItā€™s justā€¦Ā suffocatingĀ sometimes,ā€ you call as you turn and hurry down the hallway to the bedroom. ā€œFeels like my neighbors are on top of me, like theyā€™reā€¦ breathing down my neck, half the time.ā€
Sure, bigger apartments existā€”but itā€™s not like youā€™re in a studio. And youā€™ve never mentioned feeling that way before. That bad feeling is starting to come backā€”like youā€™re not telling him something he needs to know. But is it worse to let you deal with it yourself until youā€™re ready to talk or to force it from you?
A few minutes later you return, a duffel of your own over your shoulder and full to bursting.Ā 
ā€œSo Iā€™m an idiot. My phone was literally in the pocket of my jeans on the floor.ā€ You drop the bag as you bend down by the door to pull on your favorite slippers. ā€œOhā€”I think I forgot my charger, can you grab it? Itā€™s by my bed.ā€
Spencer of course obliges, and is secretly pleased to be in your room again, in the light this time, so he can see better. Itā€™s sweet. The pictures on the walls, the plants and the knickknacks and the sticky notes scrawled with messy reminders on every surface and the sweater hanging over the back of a chairā€”the one youā€™d been wearing at the cafe all those months agoā€”it all feels soĀ you. He wonders why the two of you donā€™t spend more time here.Ā 
He lets himself linger for only a minute before remembering his task, but as he reaches down to unplug your charger, whatever dopey smile heā€™d been wearing evaporates. The sheets have been stripped from your bed, and he can see whyā€”thereā€™s a striking stain of dried blood, and several surrounding dots, soaked into the mattress. Not much, but enough to make him feel horrendously guilty. He cringes, imagining what it mustā€™ve been like to wake up all alone to nothing but your own blood.Ā Poor girl. Of course heā€™d noticedĀ some, last night when he was doing his best at cleaning you up, but it had been dark, and he was exhausted, and he hadnā€™t done enough.Ā 
ā€œWhereā€™d your sheets go, baby?ā€ He asks once back by the front door with his own bag on his shoulder, setting a gentle hand on your lower back and holding out your charger for you. You jump slightly, and he makes circles on your back, wishing there wasĀ somethingĀ he could do to settle you.Ā 
ā€œOh! Theyā€”they got ruined. I threw them out. Itā€™s fine. I have others.ā€
So you didnā€™t have enough energy this morning to walk a few feet to your shower, but stripping your bed, getting dressed, and walking down to the trash chute at the end of the hall had been top of your priority list.Ā 
You swallow as he undoes the locks and holds the door open for you, and pretend like youā€™re not doing surveillance to either side as you stand in the hallway, locking your door again like you canā€™t get out of here fast enough.Ā 
Spencer casts a sidelong glance at you and wonders if youā€™re intentionally avoiding eye contact. He tries not to think like a profiler. He tries not to assign meaning to your actions, but he canā€™t help it. He canā€™t not notice.Ā 
He canā€™t not worry.Ā 
And he canā€™t not wonder what youā€™re not telling him.Ā 
-
part nine
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luffysprincess Ā· 4 months ago
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LIE DETECTOR TEST : ISAGI YOICHI
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āŠ¹ summary : the blue lock boys are invited to take a lie detector test, but theyā€™ve got to answer twitterā€™s unfiltered questions
āŠ¹ pairing : isagi yoichi x reader (established relationship)
āŠ¹ wc : 543
āŠ¹ warnings : reader is referred to as ā€œgirlā€ with she/her pronouns, suggestive, mentions of oral sex, if Iā€™m missing something pls lmk!! MINORS DNI
āŠ¹ A/N : this is a repost from my prev blog bc i wanna continue this series and i cant post the next part without the context from this one so if it looks familiar, thats why. ALSO if anyone has a reblog of bachira's part somewhere pls send me the link!!
āŠ¹ bachiraā€™s version | kunigamiā€™s version
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ā€œReady?ā€
ā€œYeah, letā€™s do thisā€
ā€œ@/isagisbbybgrl asks How big is your dick?ā€
Isagi had practically choked on his own spit at the question. Ā  ā€œWhaā€”why is this the first question?!ā€
ā€œIā€™m just reading out what Twitter wants to know?ā€, the interviewer laughs at the shock in his face. ā€œNow answer the question.ā€
Isagi, Kunigami and Bachira were currently sat side by side across from their interviewer. They had been invited to guest star on LockX , one of the most popular podcasts to date relating to everything and anything Blue Lock. And today they were asked to answer a few fan questions from Twitter all while hooked up to a lie detector. Up first was Isagi, who looked like he was already regretting coming today.
ā€œLike 10 inchesā€ he sighed out. All heads turned to the polygraph examinerā€” Milo was his name.
ā€œThereā€™s no wayā€”ā€œ
ā€œTruthā€
Bachira laughs out at Kunigamiā€™s disbelief while the latter mumbles to himself. Something about not believing it till he sees it himself.
ā€œWait, now Iā€™m curiousā€ Bachira scooted forward and turned to Isagi. ā€œHow much of it does your girl take in her mouth?
ā€œWhat the fuck Megs? Nope. Iā€™m not talking about Y/N here. Not like that.ā€
ā€œSorry to break it to you, but more than half these Twitter asks are about her,ā€ the interviewer adds.
ā€œCome onnnn Yoichiā€
ā€œFine. All of it. Next questionā€
ā€œMilo?ā€
ā€œHeā€™s telling the truthā€ Milo nods back, while the room fills with whistles and cheers to Isagi, whoā€™s hidden his face behind a hand but canā€™t help the proud smirk that grows on his face at the thought of you taking all of him.
ā€œOkay okayā€ the interviewer laughs before he directs his next question, ā€œUser @/mysagiballs asks where is your favorite place to kiss a partner?ā€
ā€œHey at least this oneā€™s not about Y/Nā€
ā€œEhh it technically is,ā€ Bachira counters.
ā€œIt basically is,ā€ Isagi sighs once again, finally accepting that this is what the rest of the interview will be like. ā€œHer lips, thatā€™s my favorite place to kiss herā€
ā€œHeā€™s lying.ā€
ā€œWha- No Iā€™m not!ā€
ā€œAnother lieā€
ā€œI feel like of all the questions youā€™ve been asked, this is the most mild.ā€ Kunigami speaks up.
ā€œBut youā€™re lying about it, which means thereā€™s something juicy youā€™re hidingā€ Bachira teases.
ā€œFine, her cheekā€
ā€œStill lyingā€
ā€œSeriously Milo!ā€
This continues on for a few minutes, Isagi calling out a bodypart and Milo calling out his bullshit.
Her neck. Lie. Her shoulders. Lie. Her hands. Lie.
Meanwhile Bachira and Kunigami have practically fallen off the sofa in tears, laughing at how frustrated Isagi grows with every call of his bluff.
ā€œBetween her legs, alright?! Iā€™m not getting any more specific than that. You can figure the rest out yourselves Iā€™m sureā€, he glares at Milo as he grumbles out his final answer.
ā€œThat was theā€¦truthā€
It takes a few moments for Bachira to calm down from his hysterics but then heā€™s teasing Isagi for being so naughty, giggling at the sight of his friend aggressively ripping off the cuffs and sensors connecting him to the polygraph.
ā€œYeah yeah, laugh all you want now but youā€™re going next.ā€ Isagi grins at him, excited to see his friend suffer the same as he did.
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awesumsaus Ā· 1 year ago
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pretty when I cry
wc: 6k
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pairing: joel miller x f!reader
summary: what was meant to be a slow relaxing morning after a night out with joel turns into something much more.
a/n: so Iā€™ve been trying to work out the rest of my tlou series but couldnā€™t get this idea out of my head. itā€™s entirely self-indulgent, absolute filth, literally inspired by porn (but with feelings). pls skip if youā€™re not comfortable with anything outlined in the warnings/tags, otherwise hope yā€™all enjoy :] (and if anyone has any interest in a part two lmk bc I may or may not have some ideas lolol)
warnings/tags: explicit 18+ (minors dni), no outbreak au, softdom!joel, smut with a hint of plot, established relationship, age gap, reader is described as small/little but also curvy, hints of possessive!joel, daddy kink, almost dd/lg dynamics, subspace, oral (f receiving), slight somnophilia (very consensual), size kink, dirty talk, so many petnames (baby, honey, pretty girl, little girl), painful sex but Joel is a consent king, aftercare, fingering, *cough* butt stuff *cough*, unprotected pinv, squirting, barely proofread sorry
It wasnā€™t uncommon, for you to wake up like this, Joelā€™s head of salt and pepper curls dipped below the covers, his mouth eagerly pulling an orgasm from your pliant body. So it comes as no surprise when youā€™re roused awake by the sound of your own whines and whimpers, slipping through your lips like soft little pleas. Your tired eyes shift to the top of his head, the sheets bunched at his wide shoulders, leaving you bare and exposed to the cool morning breeze blowing through the open bedroom window.Ā 
He works in slow languid movements, yet he has you gushing around his tongue nonetheless, his mouth warm and wet against your dripping sex, still soft and swollen from the previous nightā€™s activities. Youā€™d fallen asleep, damp and sticky, only after heā€™d pounded you into his mattress until the early hours of the morning.Ā 
Upon waking, the feeling of his cum still dripping out of you, legs wrapped around one of his dense thighs, it drove him positively insane. It didnā€™t matter how peacefully asleep you were, how steadily you drew breaths between your plush lips, he had to have you the moment his eyes set on you. Ā 
He senses youā€™re awake when your fingers delicately twist through the curls at the crown of his head. He hums contentedly against you, the vibrations making your eyes fall closed once more as wanting sounds slip past your lips. Youā€™d never been one for religion, but seeing Joel for the past several months has you questioning everything. The way his mouth moves against your pulsing core leaves you with no choice but to believe in some higher power, some celestial being that deemed you lucky enough to allow a man like Joel into your life.
He pulls away from your messy cunt and you whine at the loss. Your glossed over eyes meeting his with pupils blown wide. ā€œMorninā€™ pretty girl,ā€ he says, his voice gruff and his lips shining with your slick. The sight sends another wave of warmth straight to your core.Ā 
ā€œHi,ā€ you say, tone gentle and weary with sleep. A timid smile spreads across your lips as you run a hand through his scruff. No matter how many times you wake up next to him, how many times he fucks you senseless, you always manage to grow shy under his salacious stare.Ā 
He plants a fleeting kiss to your clit and you shudder, you can feel him smirk even as your gaze shifts to the ceiling above you. Your hand unknowingly grips his hair tighter and urges him towards where you need him most, not even noticing your own action until you hear Joel let out an amused chuckle.Ā 
ā€œSo needy for me, huh baby?ā€ He runs a hand from your thigh over the curve of your hip, his touch featherlight over the certain spot by your hipbone that he knows drives you wild. His fingers end splayed across your lower belly, his thumb rubbing small circles into your skin.Ā 
ā€œAlways need you, daddy,ā€ you say, only slightly above a whisper, a small buck of your hips to get your point across. The petname has his already half hard cock twitching against the sheets, his other hand instinctively squeezes the flesh of your hip.Ā 
With no warning, his lips are on you again, his pace now fast and increasingly sloppy. He eats at you like a man starved, his curved nose rubbing against your clit with each of his movements. The intensity of it all makes your head spin and your cunt clench around nothing. A ghosting pain lingers in your lower half, another reminder of the evening prior.Ā 
The two of you had gone out, like you often did on Friday nights, deciding on a new spot downtown. Joel was hesitant at first, having heard it was more popular with the younger crowd, more catered to people your age. But heā€™d learned early in your relationship that saying no to you was nearly impossible, with your big doe eyes and sweet pleading smiles, he rarely had it in him to deny anything your little heart desired.Ā 
But God, the little black dress you wore nearly had him throwing you over his shoulder and locking you away in his bedroom for only his eyes to ever behold. Joel would never admit to being the possessive type. He knew what other men saw in you, wide eyed and sweet, kind beyond reason, with a gorgeous smile and beautiful curves. He saw the way theyā€™d look at you, saw the way their eyes followed your perfect form, like predators stalking their prey.
He would never admit to being the possessive type, but his incessant grip around your waist in every public space and the death glares heā€™d send any man that looked your way proved otherwise. And despite your attempts to dissuade his arrogance, there was a part of you that craved to be claimed, to be marked as his.Ā 
The week had been long and draining. Your overbearing boss forced you to work overtime into the late hours of the evening nearly every night, and with Joelā€™s days often starting as early as 5am, he was usually sound asleep by the time youā€™d managed to feed yourself and drag your exhausted corpse to bed.Ā 
To no fault of his own, Joel hadnā€™t paid much attention to you this week, leaving you feeling neglected and irritated despite his generally relentless attentiveness towards you. And so you decided to toy with him, always testing his limits and seeing how far you can go before he snaps. You wouldnā€™t admit it, but you kinda liked him a little angry.Ā 
And boy was it easy to get a rise out of him, especially dressed the way you were, your ass only just covered and your tits spilling over the tight corset-like top of your dress. You had his blood boiling before the two of you even left his house. When you finally walked through the bar entrance, Joel was like a guard dog, his arm wrapped tightly around your lower waist, a permanent scowl imprinted on his face towards the many male bar goers that ogled you. He had you tucked so close to his body you were nearly tripping over his feet with each of your steps.Ā 
After your first drink you were feeling antsy, and a bit too bold for you own good, and so you flirted with them, boys you had not a single shred of interest in, laughed at their jokes and accepted their offers to buy you drinks, all the while glancing back at Joel, biting your lip, trying not to giggle at his grimace and the way redness began spreading up his neck. Youā€™d retreat back to your table, to Joel, prizes in hand, and feign innocence when heā€™d question what you were up to.Ā 
ā€œWhat do yā€™ think youā€™re doinā€™,ā€ he questioned after you had slipped away to the bar a second time under the guise of needing to use the restroom. You padded up to him, slotting yourself between his thighs, twirling the straw in your drink between your fingers. Even sitting on the barstool he towered over you.Ā 
ā€œNothinā€™, daddy.ā€ You looked up at him through your lashes, knowing fully well what your words did to him. You brought the hand that wasnā€™t holding your drink to his upper thigh, you could feel the muscle tense as you slid your way up, up, up.Ā 
ā€œWatch it, little girl.ā€œ He grabbed your wrist, hard. You instinctively tried to pull away, but his grip was firm. He jerked you towards him, your chests nearly touching before bringing your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly, a stark contrast to the death grip he still had on your wrist.Ā 
His voice was low, a sign of warning. ā€œFā€™ you want somethinā€™ from me, all you gotta do is ask, darlinā€™.ā€Ā 
You huffed and pouted slightly when he released you, ignoring the fact that your actions resembled those of a petulant child. Despite knowing that he would give you anything you asked of him, having proved it to you countless times over the course of your relationship, the neglected feeling in your chest grew. You didnā€™t want to ask, sick of making decisions and telling others what to do after the week youā€™d had. You wanted him to take.Ā 
It was after your third disappearance, this time to actually use the restroom, that Joel snapped. Passing by the bar, one of the young men that bought you a drink attempted to stop you in your tracks. You didnā€™t pay him much attention, just smiled and nodded at his words, quietly trying to slip by. But then his hands were on you, grabbing your waist in a way that made your stomach turn. You hadnā€™t even had time to register a response, to push him away and run back to Joel, before his hands were leaving your body and being replaced by much larger ones, rough and calloused. Joelā€™s hands.Ā 
ā€œWeā€™re leaving, now,ā€ he grunted, pulling you by the back of your arm towards the exit. It was only after heā€™d practically thrown you into the passengerā€™s seat of his truck that you knew you were in for it.Ā 
Youā€™d barely made it to the front door before he was ripping the fabric of your little black dress from your body, letting the torn pieces fall to the floor. Immediately youā€™d attempted to scold him, it was one of your favorites, but couldnā€™t get a word in before he was throwing your bare body over his shoulder and carrying you to his bedroom, promising heā€™d buy you as many dresses as you wanted if youā€™d shut up and let him have his way with you, let him fuck you stupid, until the only thoughts going through your head were Joel, Joel, Joel.
He spent the following hours relentlessly pulling orgasm after orgasm from your pliable body, impaling you on his thick cock until hot tears streamed down your cheeks.Ā 
ā€œI know, baby,ā€ he said from his place behind you, your limp whimpering form draped across the edge of the bed. ā€œJust needed to be reminded who you belong to, huh?ā€ His voice was mocking, but with a certain sincerity that made your cunt clench even harder around him.Ā 
ā€œYours, daddy,ā€ was all you could manage before you came around his cock for what felt like the hundredth time that night.Ā 
Needless to say you were feeling extra sensitive this morning, Joel was hyper aware of this fact, yet the feeling of his tongue repeatedly diving into your abused hole had you begging for more. ā€œNeed you inside,ā€ you say despite the hurt. Joel holds back a groan at your pleas, needy little thing. He pulls away just slightly to meet your gaze, his breath still hot against your core.Ā 
ā€œNot gonna put my cock in you, honey.ā€ The finality in his voice makes your heart drop and tears prick in the corners of your eyes. You were always like this in the mornings, he had come to notice, sensitive, soft, often emotionally even more so than physically. Joel had always been an assured man, never impulsive or reckless in his actions, always thoughtful and never selfish. But with you heā€™d learned patience. Heā€™d learned to hold your emotions in the palm of his hand with a certain gentleness he never knew himself capable of. Heā€™d learned you often needed more time than most to become placid, to settle, and so it became almost a sense of his, knowing when to take and when to give, even when you werenā€™t sure yourself. Ā 
ā€œPlease-ā€œ you whine, tears in your voice. His big brown eyes soften when they meet yours, his resolve slipping only momentarily while he moves to kiss the inside of each of your thighs.Ā 
ā€œNot gonna convince me, baby.ā€ he tuts. ā€œCanā€™t take me yet.ā€ He moves higher, nuzzles into the soft skin above your clit. You let out a small gasp when he starts sucking harshly, surely leaving a bruise, a mark that only he will ever see.Ā 
ā€œI can. I promise.ā€ You wriggle in his hold, feel your wetness drip onto the sheets. He nips the spot and pulls away.Ā 
ā€œQuit.ā€ He pins your hips harder, his eyes meeting yours once more. ā€œMaybe if you hadnā€™t been such a goddamn tease last night I wouldnā€™tā€™ve had to wreck this perfect little pussy.ā€ He runs a finger through your folds as he says it and you tense slightly. He raises an eyebrow at you, an I told you so look, you huff in frustration, yet you relax in his hold.Ā 
ā€œYou ready to be good fā€™ me, baby?ā€ His voice seeps through your ears like honey, your mind beginning to wander to that all too familiar headspace you often turned to in these moments. You nod your head, eyes hooded. Joel senses the shift. ā€œYouā€™re gonna take whatever daddy gives you yeah?ā€
ā€œYes,ā€ you gasp as you feel just the tip of his index finger probe your dripping hole, Joel gauging your response.Ā 
ā€œNā€™ then what dā€™ you say?ā€ He twists his finger inside you and pushes in just to his first knuckle, the stretch already intense given your increased sensitivity.Ā 
ā€œThank you, daddy,ā€ you sigh, not a single shred of fight left in you. A devilish smirk spreads across his face.Ā 
ā€œGood girl.ā€
His hands are on the backs of both your thighs, hiking your legs up so that theyā€™re pressed firmly against your chest, your glistening folds on full display. You shiver as the cool morning air hits where youā€™re most vulnerable. He then pushes your knees apart, situating himself so that his mouth is only inches from your core while still holding you in place, your legs spread obscenely wide to accommodate the breadth of his shoulders.Ā 
He spits directly on your clit and watches as it drips down your cunt, combining with the mess of wet already there. Itā€™s entirely unnecessary, but itā€™s how Joel likes you, filthy with his cum and spit and your own slick. You tremble as he smooths his hand over your mound, his undivided attention on the mess heā€™s creating. When heā€™s satisfied, the pad of his thumb finds your clit, rubbing small circles into the bundle of nerves, making your hips buck once more.
He pauses his movements, his eyes dark and entirely void of any sense of leniency. ā€œNot gonna tell you again.ā€ A tear pools in your lower lashes at the loss of his touch, your breathing goes shaky.Ā 
ā€œSo pretty when you cry fā€™ me, honey,ā€ his tone mocking. ā€œAlmost as pretty as when you come for me.ā€
His mouth is back on you, even more ravening and unrelenting than before. You have to bite down on your pillow to prevent yourself from screaming when his lips wrap around your clit, sucking the sensitive bud into his warm mouth. Every cell in your body is screaming for his touch, needing more, more, more. You want to be enveloped by him by not just his mouth, but every part of him. You have the sudden desire to crawl under his skin, make a home for yourself there, where all you can ever feel is him, him, him.Ā 
The peaceful sound of birds chirping outside the window is drowned out by your cries and the pornographic squelches of your wet sex. Your vision blurs as his tongue plunges in and out of you.Ā 
ā€œTaste so fucking good, baby,ā€ he pulls away for only a second, his eyes not leaving your center as he anchors his thick arms under your ass and thighs, bringing your cunt impossibly closer to his eager mouth. Ā 
Joel knows your body, knows what every twitch and minor shift means, how your breathing quickens when heā€™s brought you right to the edge, the sounds you make when youā€™ve completely given in, forfeited all control. And he senses it, when his thumb presses against the cleft of your ass, and a moan slips from deep within your throat, that heā€™s uncovered something, something that makes his cock twitch and drip onto the sheets below him.Ā 
He pulls away quick, too quick, and your face burns, the fleeting sensation prompting a new surge of desire in the pit of your stomach. The feeling was foreign, a bit startling, but in a way that left you longing for more. If you were to trust anyone to delve into this part of yourself, this uncharted territory, it would be Joel. It would always be Joel. He knew how to take care of you better than any man youā€™d ever known. With him you were safe, you were heard, cherished and adored. With him there was no emotion too big or too small, no desire left unsated.Ā 
ā€œJoel-ā€œ you breath. ā€œJoel, baby. I want-ā€œ
He pulls away from you, a knowing look in his glassed over eyes. ā€œWhat is it, honey? What dā€™ you want?ā€
He canā€™t help himself and licks a long strip from your asshole to your clit, moaning at the taste. ā€œFuck- Joel,ā€ you cry out, a drop of sweat falling to your forehead. ā€œWant- want your fingers.ā€
ā€œWhere dā€™ you want my fingers, baby.ā€ He says it more like a command than a question, but you canā€™t respond, your head falling back as he starts lapping at your clit. ā€œYou want them in this sweet little cunt?ā€ He prods one of his thick fingers at your opening, but quickly pulls away, leaving you clenching around nothing.Ā 
You bite your lip, eyes hooded. ā€œMm,ā€ you shake your head. His eyes are nearly black now, something unhinged, sinful behind his gaze. He knows what you want, the seed already planted in his insatiable brain, but he wasnā€™t going to give in to your pleads that easily.Ā 
ā€œDirty girl.ā€ His voice has dropped an octave. ā€œTell me what you want.ā€
ā€œPlease, daddyā€ you squirm, tears pooling at your waterline, threatening to fall at any second. His hardened grip on your hips softens for a moment before heā€™s turning his head and biting the inside of your thigh, hard. You gasp, a tear rolls down your cheek. ā€œUse your words.ā€
ā€œI wan- I-I donā€™t-,ā€ you babble, the tears now flowing freely, leaving wet trails down your cheeks. He lets you choke on your words for a moment, not once tearing his eyes away from yours.Ā 
ā€œOh honey, I know sā€™ hard,ā€ he soothes, sliding his hand along the curve of your ass. Your tears slow. ā€œSā€™okay. Daddyā€™s gonna give you what you need. No more cryinā€™.ā€
You sniffle, a small smile spreading across your face at his words. You always had a way of making him cave.
His expression goes serious for a moment. ā€œWhatā€™s your safe word?ā€ Red. ā€œAnd youā€™ll use it if you want me to stop?ā€ Mhm. ā€œRepeat it.ā€ His commanding tone sends a chill down your spine. ā€œIf I want you to stop, Iā€™ll say red,ā€ you say softly and run a hand through his curls, wet with a mixture of your sweat and his own.Ā 
ā€œFuck, baby. Gonna make you feel so good,ā€ he says more to himself than you. Your brain turns to absolute mush when his mouth meets your skin once again.Ā 
Even with his head between your legs, even when heā€™s on his knees for you, heā€™s the one in charge, the one that dictates your every move. How your body twists and bends to his will. He decides when you get to cum, decides when youā€™ve earned it. And thereā€™s a certain feeling that comes with it, this loss of autonomy, a sense of ease and security created by a total loss of control. No other man youā€™ve been with has understood, most of them only seeking to fulfill their own selfish wants. But Joel knows, having understood this unfamiliar part of you almost as soon as the two of you met, knowing exactly how to satiate that little corner of your brain that craves submission.Ā 
You suck in a sharp breath when you feel his calloused thumb return to your tight hole, tensing a bit when he adds more pressure.Ā 
ā€œRelax, baby.ā€ And you do, your muscles go lax almost immediately and the furrow in your brow softens. You exhale a moan as he begins kissing your cunt, avoiding your most sensitive areas so that he can keep you focused on the feeling of his thumb pushing into you.Ā 
ā€œFu- fuck, Joel!ā€ You basically shriek when the tip of his thumb breeches the ring of muscle, itā€™s already all consuming, already so full.
He retracts his thumb and you let out a choked sound before he brings his thick finger to your wetness, gathering slick on the pad of his thumb before resuming his unrushed stretching of your virgin hole.Ā 
ā€œMore ngh- please.ā€ He prods you painfully slow, assessing your every reaction as his knuckle plunges into you.Ā 
ā€œUh-uh. Donā€™t care how nice nā€™ polite you ask, baby. Not gonna ruin this little hole.ā€ He plants wet kisses along your seam. ā€œNot yet,ā€ he says almost inaudibly against your mound before devouring you once more. The promise of more makes something in your brain snap, all the shyness and trepidations from before gone in one fleeting moment.Ā 
He stretches you slowly, the speed of his mouth quickening and his thumb beginning to slide more easily in and out of you. Youā€™re entirely lost in the feeling, completely overwhelmed by the pressure and the speed of his tongue on your clit. You cry out when he removes his thumb, replacing it with his middle finger, and dipping his freed digit into your cunt, completely overcome, overstimulated in the best way.Ā 
Itā€™s too much, but not enough. But no, itā€™s too much. Heā€™s everywhere, in your cunt, your ass, your head. All you can think is how anything in life could ever feel this good. How anyone can be this good, this knowing of your every want, every need. The thought makes tears pinch at the corner of your eyes.Ā 
His gaze is fixed on you, every twitch, every shift. He nearly comes at the sight of you grinding down on his fingers. Thatā€™s it baby, fuck yourself on my fingers. His movements slow, your orgasm begins to fade and you whine. Youā€™re not even thinking when you bring your delicate fingers to your clit and trace small circles against the bundle of nerves. Joel immediately grabs your hand and pins it to your lower stomach, nearly growling against your skin. Any other time heā€™d have you bent over his knee for not asking permission, but heā€™s so drunk on you, so dead-set on making you come apart, he lets this one slide.Ā 
ā€œNeed tā€™ come so bad, huh baby?ā€ You nod your head furiously, a few more tears slipping down your cheeks. ā€œGo ā€˜head nā€™ ask for it then, baby. Nice nā€™ polite like I know you can.ā€
ā€œPlease daddy, please let me come.ā€ You barely register the words falling from your mouth, but the proud look on Joelā€™s face tells you all you need to know.
It doesnā€™t take much to send you over the edge. He sucks harshly on your clit, pulling it into his mouth, while his thick fingers work each of your holes. His hand holding yours presses harder, harder, harder until the tension snaps and youā€™re screaming, sobbing out as you gush around him, soaking his scruff to the point that your slick drips from his chin and onto the already drenched sheets. He works you through it, curling his fingers into your cunt so that another warm stream of slick hits his tongue. And he takes, not letting a single drop go to waste as he laps at you.Ā 
Your head is still buzzing when he finally ceases his movements, the shockwaves of your orgasm still flowing through you making your whole body shake. Your muscles convulse as he slowly pulls his fingers from your core.Ā 
With blurred vision you watch him stand at the end of the bed, his cock painfully hard, red and leaking. You hadnā€™t even considered what all this was doing to him, so lost in your own pleasure from the moment your eyes opened. You have the sudden urge to fall to your knees and take him into your mouth until he comes deep down your throat, but your body is limp, sunk into the mattress below you. You merely watch with hooded eyes as he fists himself, his gaze fixed on your slicked core, the sight makes another pool of your arousal drip onto the sheets.
ā€œFuck-ā€œ he sucks in a sharp breath, his hips stuttering against his own hold. ā€œNeed tā€™ be inside this tight cunt, baby.ā€
Your eyes go slightly wide at his confession, yet your lower half shakes with anticipation. Youā€™re not sure youā€™ve ever seen him like this, this wrecked, desperate, this needy. He looks almost pained when your eyes meet his, and you feel as though you may just implode if heā€™s not inside you a moment longer.Ā 
ā€œWill you let me, pretty girl?ā€
You nod.Ā 
ā€œYes or no, baby?ā€ He squeezes the base of his shaft, staving off his impending release. You canā€™t help but smile a little, knowing he could come just like this, just from looking at you in your current state. But the need to feel him inside of you pulls you from the thought.Ā 
Yes, please, yes.
He grabs your hips and swiftly flips you, shoving a pillow under your lower belly and pushing down on you until youā€™re laid almost flat on your stomach. He grabs roughly at your hips, pulling you up so that his cock brushes up against your slick folds.Ā 
You bite down on your forearm when his wide tip notches at your entrance, basically drooling onto your own skin as you attempt to hold back your cries. He eases into you, still overly conscious of your sensitivity, ignoring the small part of his brain telling him to ram into you, make you feel every inch of him in one swift motion. He knows that you would take it, thank him for it, always such a good girl for him especially once heā€™s finally inside you, yet he knows the kind of control he has over you in these moments, knows itā€™s up to him to determine what you can and canā€™t take.Ā 
When he bottoms out you feel as though you may just split in two, something animalistic sounds from deep within Joelā€™s throat. Tears fall to your arm when your head lolls to the side, your breathing ragged and your whole body on fire from both pain and pleasure.
ā€œFuck- not gonna last, baby.ā€ He starts moving in and out of you slowly, and god, it hurts, yet your tight cunt sucks him back in with each of his thrusts, a delicious burning sensation spreading along your slick walls. You open your mouth to respond, to tell him not to worry himself, to beg him to come inside your aching cunt. But all that escapes your lips is a choked sob in the sound of Joelā€™s name.Ā 
ā€œShh I know,ā€ he coos. ā€œYouā€™re just so little, huh sweet thing? Little fucking cunt squeezing me so good honey.ā€
You keen at his praise, gushing around his massive girth. Youā€™d never get used to it, the thickness of his cock, the weight of him deep inside your cunt. No matter how much he prepares you, itā€™s always a stretch, always just short of too much to bare.Ā 
His thumb presses into the cleft of your ass as his pace increases. ā€œGonna let me fuck you here, baby?ā€
ā€œYes daddy,ā€ you say and he freezes for a moment, your words nearly sending him over the edge.Ā 
ā€œNot today, little girl,ā€ he growls and rocks back into you. A feeling of combined relief and disappointment washes over you. Youā€™re not sure you could take it, not now, but part of you craves to be reduced to nothing but Joelā€™s fuck toy, fucked deep and full until you canā€™t even think, nothing but a few holes to be filled.Ā 
ā€œYouā€™d let me though, wouldnā€™t ya?ā€ He pulls you from your thought. ā€œDirty fuckinā€™ thing.ā€
ā€œMhm, yes daddy.ā€ Your vision goes black at the feeling of his cock pulsing against your cervix. He was close, you could feel it in the way his thrusts went erratic, sloppy and slightly hurried.Ā 
ā€œLet me do whatever I want to ya, huh?ā€
ā€œYes daddy,ā€ you say the only two words left in your brain.Ā 
ā€œFuck, so fucking perfect, baby-ā€œ The feeling of his warm release shooting inside of you makes you twitch around him and your brain go fuzzy. You can barely hear Joelā€™s grunts and moans nor his incessant praises over the ringing in your ears. This is what you craved, beyond the physical gratification brought on by these moments, but the way the world around you disappeared and you were filled with nothing but the content of being his, being Joelā€™s. The safety you felt beneath his large form, it leaves no room for worry, no thoughts of the stress of everyday life, no decisions to be made. Just him, just Joel.Ā 
Youā€™re not sure how long the two of you stay like this, long enough to feel your combined release dripping from Joelā€™s cock onto your trembling thighs, long enough that you feel yourself dipping in and out of sleep, in and out of consciousness.Ā 
When he finally pulls out of you, he lets your hips softly fall onto the bed, your body sprawled across the damp sheets. You feel the mattress shift behind you as he stands, immediately heading for the en suite bathroom. At the loss of his presence, youā€™re reminded of the open window, the now midmorning breeze dancing across your damp skin. You canā€™t help but wonder if the echoes of your morning endeavors made their way to the street below, if a neighbor passing by could make out the sounds of your shrieks and screams, if perhaps itā€™d been a cause for concern until it became apparent that your cries were derived from a place of pleasure and not pain nor fear.Ā 
Joel returns and takes quick notice of your shivering, immediately making his way to the window and shutting it. You smile to yourself at the sight of his bare backside, so strong and sturdy, the muscles in his shoulders sculpted from years of working on various job sites, tapering down to his waist, the dimples right above his ass. Itā€™s truly a view you would never tire of.Ā 
ā€œā€˜S impolite to stare, yā€™ know?ā€ He catches your eye, a playful smirk spread across his face. You giggle at him, still laying on your belly, your head tucked into the crook of your elbow. He chuckles when you make grabby hands at him with your free hand, to which he quickly concedes, bending over at your side and planting a kiss on your lips. You sigh against him, carding your fingers through his hair and pulling him closer.Ā 
ā€œHey baby.ā€ He breaks the kiss, his breath hot against your nose. He tucks fallen pieces of hair behind your ear. ā€œYou okay?ā€Ā 
You nod your head tiredly, unable to muster any more of a response, and he doesnā€™t attempt to pull one out of you, kissing your nose and rising back to his feet.Ā 
He disappears once again, this time returning dressed in a pair of black sweatpants and a damp washcloth in hand. He sits next to you on the bed, moving to clean between your legs, but your thighs clamp shut. Itā€™s a purely physical reaction, your body on high alert due to the sensitivity.Ā 
ā€œHey hey-ā€œ he runs a soothing hand up and down your spine then leans over to press a kiss to your shoulder. ā€œJust want tā€™ clean you up sweet girl. Iā€™ll be so gentle, promise.ā€ His soothing makes your legs instinctively relax and he brings the washcloth to the apex of your thighs. Heā€™s gentle just like he promised, yet you still hiss slightly when the warm material meets your sensitive skin.Ā 
When heā€™s finished, he grabs one of his t-shirts and a pair of shorts from the dresser, quickly returning to your side and urging you to turn onto your back. He dresses you, your body like putty in his hands, his touch gentle and warm. You canā€™t deny the aching feeling in your lower half when he slides your shorts on, but itā€™s a good kind of ache, an ache youā€™ll crave as soon as it dissipates.Ā 
You grab at him again when he moves to pull away, but he makes it easy for you, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours, careful not to bare any of his weight on you. The little whimpers that slip past your lips as your warm mouth moves across his make his spent cock twitch.
It scared him sometimes, the intensity with which he felt for you, the depth of his affections. It scared him, the thoughts he had, of what he would do to those who meant to hurt you, to those who have hurt you. It scared him, the thought of losing you, the lengths he would go to keep you safe, keep you here, here with him. But it was in these moments, when youā€™re laid beneath him, so soft and so lovely, that all those fears melted away.Ā 
Before things move any further, he hooks his arms under you and lifts you from the bed with ease. You donā€™t protest, not sure you could even if you wanted to, instead you latch onto him, curl your face into his neck and wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you downstairs to the living room.Ā 
He attempts to set you on the couch, but you cling to him like a koala, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. ā€œLet go,ā€ he says firmly, a smile behind his words. ā€œDonā€™t wanna,ā€ you mumble against his skin, whining as he unfurls you from his torso and plops you on the couch. He places the TV remote in your hand, telling you to put somethinā€™ on, whatever you want.
He disappears into the kitchen and you attempt to sit up on the couch, your body going slack against the cushions. Your brain is still buzzing, itā€™s almost like youā€™re floating, not yet fully aware of your surroundings, but you can slowly feel yourself coming back to reality. You turn the TV on and set it to your latest recording.Ā 
Joel returns a few minutes later, your favorite water bottle and a plate of peanut butter toast in hand, a bottle of Advil in the other. He sits on the couch, immediately urging you onto his lap, and you donā€™t object.Ā 
ā€œThe Bachelor?ā€ He says, a hint of judgement in his voice as he unscrews the cap of the Advil.Ā 
ā€œYou love it,ā€ you respond, beginning to lose focus on the show as you squirm and slither against his body, making yourself comfortable as if he were part of the couch. Joel softly chuckles, wrapping an arm loosely around you.
He holds a few of the pills in front of you. ā€œJoel Iā€™m fine. I donā€™t-ā€œ
ā€œNot asking, sweetheart.ā€ You roll your eyes, but take the Advil from him nonetheless, swallowing them down when Joel holds the straw of your water bottle to your mouth, knowing your body would thank you for it later.Ā 
ā€œGood girl,ā€ he plants a quick kiss to your temple, before grabbing the toast from the coffee table, heat rises to your cheeks at his words.
He feeds you the toast, taking bites for himself while you chew. You hadnā€™t realized how depleted your body was, now feeling the haze lift with some food and water in your system. Every time itā€™s like coming back to earth, but fortunately you know that Joel will always be there to catch you.Ā 
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y'all Iā€™m not good at endings pls forgive me
but hope we enjoyed the rest :p
part two
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yeoubbi Ā· 1 year ago
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accommodations iā€™ve had approved as an autistic college student
helloooo today i finally had a meeting with the disability office and have accommodations after 2 years of being in college without them. im autistic and have cptsd/dissociative issues and had a hard time finding what was even available to me to request for accommodations so i wanted to make a list to help anyone else who might be having trouble.
ā€¢ Priority registration
i get to register for classes earlier each term to make sure i can create schedules thatā€™ll work for my routine
ā€¢ Extended time on assignments
self explanatory i think? was also offered extended time on tests or a separate room to take them but testing isnt where i struggle
ā€¢ Flexible attendance
as long as i email beforehand i dont have to stick as strictly to professors attendance policies
ā€¢ Alternative formats
if i buy a physical textbook i can request the ebook/pdf/audiobook for free to have multiple methods of studying depending on what works for me on a given day
ā€¢ Note taking
allowed to audio record class and send to a service called messenger pigeon who will give me a transcript of the class and professional notes based on it
ā€¢ Access to lecture notes
able to access professors lecture notes prior to class/instruction
ā€¢ Devices
allowed to have phone/ipad/laptop for social buffering and notes in classes that may have policies against electronics
ā€¢ Flexible participation
no cold calling, option to work alone for group projects/assignments, not required to present in front of class
if anyone has any questions lmk these are just what i have been able to get at my school so far! hope it helps
edit: this is blowing up so fellow autistics, students, language nerds, etc pls be my mutual i want friends lol my dms are also open any time !!
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freemansgirl Ā· 1 year ago
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Loved the jock Amber, how about her with a nerd reader?
aww thank you, that means a lot to me! ofc, i can do jock!ambs x nerd!reader, love the brains x brawns duo we got going on herešŸ’šŸæā€ā™€ļø pls lmk if you like this, anon ā˜ŗļø
jock!amber x nerd!reader
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SFW
* when first seeing amber, you found her really attractive, even if a jock wasnā€™t the typical person you go for based off the rumors you hear of them or how they are portrayed in media. what started off as a small, innocent class crush turned into a very, serious crush. you always wanted to talk to her, but she was someone that had a very hard exterior to her. she could be bitchy to other classmates and always had a resting bitch face. as intimidating as she was, she found herself taking in interest in you.
* most of her teammates in the locker room would encourage amber to get with popular ā€œhotā€ girls or a girl with a status to her. just the typical locker room talk but she ignored them of course. ā€œwhat about that liv girl, isnā€™t she hot to you?ā€ ā€œi appreciate the suggestion but i got my eyes on someone else.ā€
* she always sneaks little glances at you during class, admiring how cute you look. you looked so pretty when concentrating on the class subject. she admired how smart you were too, you always had the answers to every question the teacher asked.
* she took notice of you in class when the teacher suggested a group assignment. it was the perfect opportunity for her to talk to you. amber picked you as her partner. not only were you just smart and well-spoken, but you were beautiful and kept to yourself. more things that she liked about you.
* you felt nervous because you always caught her checking you out with her rbf so the fact she picked you caught you off guard. however, amber wasā€¦ surprisingly level-headed and nice, not the typical airhead, loud, and mean jock stereotype.
* the two of you exchanged numbers and always would try to make time to study after school to prepare for the group project. usually, amber would never really take time off of football practice for anyone, because she was someone who took sports seriously, but for you, she did. amber helps with grabbing whatever books you needed and would assist w the work for the group project.
* when it came to you two being group partners, amber wanted to get closer so sheā€™d invite you over at her place.
* when she learned about your interests, she found them really cool actually. she liked hearing you ramble and get so passionate, she finds it adorable. there wasnā€™t any judgment whatsoever. she liked that your interests werenā€™t like the stereotypical, average personā€™s interests.
* ā€œamber? are you there? am i boring you with my constant talking about my interests? i know theyā€™re a bitā€¦ ā€œnerdyā€ and all.ā€ what? no. of course not, i love hearing you talk about these things.ā€ she thinks you are the cutest nerd she has ever seen. if anything, youā€™re her cute nerdšŸ¤·šŸæā€ā™€ļø.(she cant rlly judge you anyway considering she is a big fan for stab. shes just as much of a nerd as you.)
* when seeing you write notes for anything, she compliments your handwriting
* thinks you look cute with glasses if you wear them
* she likes to get you things related to what you like. favorite book series? already checked it out at the library. favorite movie series? buys it for movie nights at her place. video games? already installed on a console. whatever it is you like, sheā€™ll find a way to surprise you.
* she has definitely gotten you a cute oversized onesie of a fictional character you love before, thinks you look so cute walking around her room in it.
* loves to take off and manage her time for you. if you need help w something, she is always there for you especially w studying. she also likes to go to you for any type of tutoring.
*walks you to all of your classes, hand in hand with a lot of pride in her face because she adores having you!!
* takes you home if no one can after you spend a long time studying a library or from some type of club. she doesnā€™t want you to walk alone hurt and unsafe.
* she likes to invite you to her football practices and to football games because she feels like seeing you support her gives her motivation to win the games.
* she always gives you one of her jackets or a hoodie of hers to provide you some sort of comfort.
* if any of her friends try to tease amber about how she has the hots for you (because usually sheā€™s not the corny type but with you she is), sheā€™ll lightly throw a football at them to shut them up.
* if anyone talks badly or inappropriately about you in the locker room, sheā€™ll literally go off on them and find a way to punish them as a football captain. sheā€™ll probably make them do hella pushups with her foot on their back or make them run around the gym a lot of times.
NSFW
* sapiosexual for sureee, i think sheā€™d get very turned on by how smart you are. i mean how can she not be in a nerd x jock dynamic?
* so unlike the stereotypical pushy, overly sexual jock, who try to make their girlfriends give it up to themā€¦ amber is actually very gentle with you. sheā€™d never push or force herself onto you. sheā€™s patient and willing to wait for when youā€™re comfortable with her.
* likes to fuck you with her jersey on, it gives her the biggest ego boost honestly. also she likes fucking you with glasses on bc you knowā€¦ glasses are sexyšŸ¤­
* during study sessions at the library, if amber is in one of her horny moods, sheā€™d try to persuade you to go the bathroom w her and just give her a quickie. or just go there for horny moods in general
* for any shy ppl reading this, amber would love if youre shy and quiet in bed. itā€™s just a turn on for her and it makes her wanna fuck you even more just to draw more moans from you.
* after she wins a game, fucking you is one of her favorite ways to celebrate
* if youā€™re trying to study or just simply doing work at a library, amber would definitely use a sex toy vibrator on you to tease you. the more she can switch the settings, the better :)
* after a long aggravating football practice of someone pissing her off, sheā€™d had sex too to just blow her steam. it can be at the locker rooms or at her place tbh.
* gym bathroom sex happens after you watch her work out and you get sooo turned on by how she works on her muscles. ā€œi see you checking me out, (your name). if you want something from me, do be afraid to say what it is you want.ā€ the something meaning sex
* shower sex
* likes to probably eat you out while youā€™re watching like a favorite movie of yours just to tease and to make enjoying fave movie even more fun ;)
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chuusheartattck Ā· 5 months ago
Text
THATā€™S THAT ME ESPRESSO (TTME)
Fontaine Entertainment
Timestamps do not matter!
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Y/n: Has been training to become an idol ever since their freshman year of high school. They were originally on an idol survival show ā€˜Whoā€™s next?ā€™ However, got eliminated on the last episode. Finally debuted right after they graduated high school. Wrote Espresso without anyone particular in mind.
Furina: CEO of Fontaine Ent. A bit clueless at being a ceo since she did it spontaneously. Everyone loves her since sheā€™s so laid back..in a way.
Hu Tao: Best friend of Y/n since middle school. One of the first people to be scouted by Fontaine Ent. Sheā€™s now a rapper who make raps that somehow make it on the radio and trend on tiktok. First got famous for making a diss track against her old history teacher, Mr. Zhongli.
Lyney: Him and Lynnette were the first people to get scouted by Fontaine Ent. They were originally doing magic shows and eventually became so big that they were now under management. Lyney likes to flirt with the audience to get more tips. Got famous for these antics.
Lynette: Twin sister of Lyney and also the more calm one. Everyone loves her equally as well. Got famous for accidentally rejecting an audience member.
Mona: She doesnā€™t know exactly why her astrology business is under a form of management. Isnā€™t complaining because she needs the money. She somehow has enough to buy new clothes. Got famous for predicting the downfall of Drake.
Ayaka: Sheā€™s the most popular one due to her beauty and dancing. She got scouted by Inazuma Ent. as well but chose Fontaine because she wanted a wider audience. Everyone also thinks her brother, Ayato, is hot. Got famous for her shoe coming off and accidentally hitting an audience member.
Synopsis: Youā€™re a new idol that just debuted under ā€˜Fontaine Entertainmentā€™ with your new single ā€˜Espresso.ā€™ You just graduated high school which means all your classmates are shocked to see you into stardom. Including your old situationship, who happens to be an actor.
Masterlist II Next
A/N: Fontaine profiles!! Lmk if thereā€™s any questions and iā€™ll try my best to answer. Pls ignore the typo on Monaā€™s profile šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ Iā€™m way too lazy to change it now.
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gureumz Ā· 1 year ago
Text
the thinker
rating: explicit
member: sunoo
premise: after someone on your dormitory floor dies, your professor, sunoo, seeks out to solve it himself. concerned and bearing responsibility, you offer to help (in more ways than just gathering evidence). what you discover is more than what you bargained for.
notes: MAJOR DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND DEATH, graphic retellings of murders, dark themes, again this is a dark fic pls if you can't stomach it don't force yourself, thriller/suspense, fem!reader, law student!reader, law professor!sunoo, student x teacher relationships (all concerned parties are legal), dom!sunoo, slight breeding, dirty talk, light gagging, mentions of pregnancy (unrelated to the reader), lmk if i missed anything i'm fading
a/n: second of my 1k follower special! this was a doozy. changed a little of the premise because the story just took a life of its own oops ! also a late birthday thing for our boy sunoo. longer than the last one please enjoy (responsibly).
ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: i do not, by any means, claim that this is how the person depicted in this story acts or is in real life. this is a work of fiction with a made-up persona. please consume RESPONSIBLY.
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a figure stands silently outside her door.
all is quiet. the occasional laughter is heard, but nothing is amiss.
the figure knocks, bowing his head low. he knows about the eyes. the eyes all over the walls.
she opens the door. effortlessly beautiful. a swan blessed in grace.
the figure embraces her. cradles her in his arms. holds her in his hands.
the swan falls.
---
you couldn't wrap your head around it.
a murder. right down the hall from where you slept, where you studied, where you bathed, so oblivious to the carnage taking place just a few doors down.
you heard the guttural, terrified scream of her roommate. everyone on the same floor did. rushing out of your room, your own mind racing with thoughts of the unthinkable, you see yunjin sobbing on the floor in front of her dorm room.
the one she shared with kazuha.
the door was wide open, light spilling out onto the dim hallway. yunjin was still crying, clutching her stomach as if physically pained by what she's seeing.
"s-someone call security, police, anyone!" yunjin shrieked, hands reaching out towards her doorway, hesitant.
some students have rushed to her side to see what she's hysterical about. all of them recoiled once they saw what awaited them in the room.
"she's dead! kazuha's been attacked!"
you blink, unaware that your heart rate had picked up in the few minutes that you recounted the events of that night.
it's been a week now since the school announced an immediate lockdown of the campus. classes were canceled, no one was to leave their dorms unaccounted for. those who live in the university accommodations were not permitted to exit the campus unless personally picked up by their parents or guardians. those who had family in another district, another province, another country lamented feeling trapped.
'what if the killer comes back? isn't keeping us here the wrong move?'
'what if it's one of the students? they need to question us all. especially those on the same floor.'
you had the same thoughts. but you knew how important the first seventy-two hours of the investigation were. so, for the first three days no one left. every floor of every dorm building was guarded. no one was allowed to move about alone. always in twos or more.
you fidget now, unable to focus on the voice droning from the front of the lecture hall. you raise your eyes to see professor kim, pointing at a slide projected on the screen, explaining something about warrants.
he catches your eye and you immediately shift your focus to his presentation.
it's as if nothing happened. a funeral was held, a memorial erected for kazuha in the lobby of the law building, and eventually, classes resumed.
you've heard whispers that yunjin opted out of university accommodations altogether. no one has seen her since.
"right!" you hear professor kim bellow from the front, clapping his hands together and startling everyone in the lecture hall.
for someone with such an amicably handsome face, professor sunoo kim was a ruthless criminal law instructor. he was particular about punctuality and never entertained any suggestions regarding extra credit. he was, by all accounts, as stiff as a board inside the classroom.
"that's all the time i have for you all today. read up on the cases i gave you because i'll be expecting the digests by thursday," professor kim calls out, gathering his belongings.
a hushed chatter falls over the lecture hall as the students start to leave. there haven't been any memos or reminders put recently regarding the murder but it's still the same. in twos or threes. no one is comfortable moving about alone nowadays.
you start to follow, mindlessly collecting your papers and your laptop, but a figure approaching your desk causes you to stop dead in your tracks.
"________," professor kim's voice glides through your ears smoothly. he smiles down at you as you sink back into your seat.
"hi, professor kim, " you greet, nodding briefly in acknowledgment.
"how have you been doing? you've been uncharacteristically quiet today," professor kim points out.
it's true. you're usually one to participate in discussions, always caught up or ahead on the readings. but with the events of the past days, you couldn't bring yourself to care much about anything.
it's not as if you were particularly close to kazuha. she lived on your floor and you've had small talk with her in the common lounge. nothing ever went beyond polite chatter.
"i think everyone's kind of out of it, professor," you reply. "ever since...you know."
you look up to meet professor kim's eyes and his gaze softens when he realizes what you're referring to. he nods understandingly, watching as the rest of the class files out of the lecture hall.
"and whoever did it is still out there," you say lowly, voice dropping to a whisper.
"i know," professor kim agrees, voice suddenly gruff. you watch as his eyebrows pinch together.
"i've been...looking into it," professor kim continues.
you eye him curiously, your back straightening as professor kim perches himself on the table in front of you. you get a whiff of his perfume; sweet but still subtly masculine.
"the police are on the case, but of course i've worked criminal cases like this before, and with my knowledge of the school and its people...i couldn't help but pry a little," professor kim explains, shifting so he could look at you better from his vantage above you.
"what did you find?" you ask, feeling small under the watchful eye of your professor. he grins down at you, reaching over to squeeze your arm briefly.
"i can't tell you," professor kim deflects. after a few moments, he stands, walking back to his desk now but it's too late. you're intrigued, stomach churning in anticipation.
"you can't or you won't?" you call after him. professor kim stops and glances back at you.
"there's the ________ i know," he says, chuckling. he continues on to his desk, packing up the rest of his things. you watch with steely eyes.
"i don't want any rumors about this. it's a tragic event that has no business being turned into campus gossip that will most likely devolve into some urban legend decades from now," professor kim says pointedly as if berating you. you shake your head, unable to contain your curiosity.
"i won't tell anyone, professor kim, i promise," you implore. you rise from your seat, startling the professor.
he regards you for a moment, eyes traveling down your body and only now do you see professor kim. truly see him.
he towers over you, standing tall at a 5'10 or 5'11 based on your estimates. he dresses crisply, but you don't miss the brightly colored socks beneath his perfectly pressed trousers. you take note of the broad expanse of his upper body underneath the short sleeve button-up he has on.
his face, one that you've looked at two times a week for the past six months, fully came into focus now. striking eyes, a sharp nose, lips that were redder than your own. thicker, too. so thick and plump and always shining with what you could only assume was lip balm.
"sunoo," professor kim says after a moment. "call me sunoo when we're not in class."
you swallow, confused. "sir?"
"wrong," sunoo laughs. "just sunoo, please. i can't be any more than five years older than you."
that, too.
his age. so close to his students' that it's not uncommon for a lot of you to wonder if he'd ever messed around with one of you. you vaguely remember thinking that you wouldn't mind being that person.
"sunoo," you repeat. the name feels foreign on your tongue, as if you're stepping over a boundary you're not supposed to cross.
"okay, sunoo. i promise not to tell anyone what you know about the...the incident."
you catch yourself before you blurt out the word 'murder'. fear grips at you, as if saying the word out loud would bring down bad fortune.
sunoo takes a deep breath, slinging the strap of his messenger bag onto his shoulder. he approaches you again and with you standing, you're relatively eye to eye.
"you know what my consultation hours are. come by right after," sunoo says. you nod and seemingly satisfied, sunoo smiles, walking out the door of the lecture hall.
you linger for a moment before you realize you're all alon. a chill runs up your spine. you dash out of the hall faster than you've ever moved in your life.
---
"they're looking into the professors now. it's kind of fucked up, don't you think?"
you lift your eyes from the book you're reading, regarding your friend in confusion.
"what do you mean 'looking into the professors'?" you ask, scooting closer to hear better.
jake sighs, motioning for your whole table to squeeze in tighter. you scan the library quickly, to see if the coast was clear. your other friends press their shoulders against yours, waiting for jake to reveal what it is he has to say.
"they've cleared most of the students on kazuha's floor. it wasn't one of them." at this, jake turns to you and you nod.
you're brought back to the day after the murder. policemen knocked on everyone's door, questioning and taking witness statements. you had held your roommate's hand the whole time while you were being pressed for answers. you remember crying that night in fear for your own life.
"it only makes sense they widen their search," you supply. "they started with the professors teaching the classes kazuha was taking, correct?"
jake nods. "exactly."
"how is that fucked up?" sunghoon asks from your left, directly across jake. the latter rolls his eyes, tapping the table in mild annoyance.
"think about your own professors. do any of them look like the type to murder you? to want to murder you?" jake says in a whisper-shout. the whole table falls silent, nervous eyes meeting each other.
"no," sunghoon finally answers.
"right?! but what if one of them was capable. we wouldn't know. and if it was one of her professors, i'm sure kazuha suspected nothing, either" jake explains, emphasizing every word with a finger to the table.
you shiver, suddenly overcome with a dreadful fear.
"i need to go," you say, pushing yourself off your chair. you glance at your watch and realize it's time for you to meet sunoo, anyway.
you bid a quick goodbye to everyone before storming out of the library. the hallway seems even chillier than the freezing library. you wrap your arms around you protectively.
---
"you look shaken up. what's wrong?"
you swallow thickly as you shut the door behind you, eyes downcast. your breathing is labored, having run all the way from the library to the building that housed the professor's offices.
you look up to see sunoo standing by his desk, a look of concern on his face. he crosses the room in a few wide strides, fingers gently prying your chin up so you could look at him.
"did you run?" sunoo asks, reaching into his pocket. he hands a handkerchief to you, gesturing at your forehead.
"it's chilly in here. dry off before you get a cold," sunoo advises.
you take the handkerchief, absently dabbing at your forehead. you lean against the heavy wooden door.
"sorry, profā€”i mean, sunoo," you begin, trying to steady your breath. "i came from a class and didn't want to miss you here."
sunoo smiles. "i was going to wait for you, anyway."
you meet his eyes but you say nothing, opting to straighten yourself up instead. this is the closest you've been to sunoo, and the way he looks so worried for you nearly threatens a smile out of you.
"you know, we could both get into big trouble for this," sunoo points out, walking back to his desk. he eases himself onto his chair, motioning for you to do the same on one of the two seats provided for his consultees.
you sit, suddenly nervous about what sunoo could possibly have figured out. you watch him rifle through a folder of papers before pulling one out.
"did you know kazuha had a boyfriend?" sunoo begins, setting the paper down and pointing to it. it's a copy of someone's student file.
you lift it to see better and a familiar name is typed at the very top.
yoshi kanemoto.
another post-grad getting his master's in anthropology or some other. part of the post-grad and law school varsity basketball team. he's a friendly enough guy, if just a tad bit shy. he and kazuha haven't been going out long, or so you've heard. you've seen him around your floor a few times and he didn't seem to ring any alarm bells in your head.
"it's always the boyfriend first," you observe.
when violent crimes against women are committed, the first place law enforcement looks into is any present or past relationships.
"accomplished young man, if i do say so myself," sunoo declares. "totally cooperative and was said to be devastated with the news."
"but...?" you ask, anticipating a caveat with the positive introduction.
"reports say they were fighting the night of the murder," sunoo expounds, shrugging.
"was there ever a history of violence? abuse?" you question.
sunoo shakes his head. "none that i've heard. but i was trying to pull some strings at the detective's office the other day. i guess i pulled one that put this whole thing into perspective."
you suck in a breath. "what did you find?"
there was a pause. sunoo purses his lips, exhaling.
"kazuha was nine weeks pregnant when she was killed."
you blink. it takes you a moment to realize what you just heard. you fall back against your chair, a hand coming up to cover your mouth. the hairs on your arm prickle.
"so...you think the fight was because of that. a-and yoshi killed her to get out of the responsibility?" you ask, voice trembling.
sunoo shrugs again. "maybe. maybe not. but it definitely puts kanemoto in a bad light."
you don't say anything, a weight in your chest rendering you speechless. you and sunoo sit in silence for nearly a minute, with sunoo carefully studying your expression.
"no one else knows this. only the detectives and me. and now, you," sunoo informs. "so, i need you to be very quiet about this."
"of course," you immediately agree. "i won't tell a soul."
sunoo smiles sympathetically, pushing himself off his chair. he comes around the desk, moving to sit across from you. he holds his hand out to you, waiting.
you place your hand in his, relaxing as he runs a thumb over your knuckles.
"i'm sorry for dragging you into this," sunoo says, patting the top of your hand with his other one. "but when my top student asks, it's hard to refuse."
you laugh at this, eyes landing on your clasped hands.
"thank you for entertaining my...unusual request," you say, chuckling lightly.
"anything else you've discovered?" you ask, averting your eyes to the papers on sunoo's desk.
"if...i'm allowed to ask," you add, peering back at sunoo momentarily.
sunoo hums, reaching over to the scattered papers on his desk.
"yunjin is taking the rest of semester off, i hear," sunoo says, idly toying with the files.
"smart move," he adds.
you nod, throat thick once again with uncertainty. you stand, pulling your hand away, much to sunoo's surprise.
"leaving so soon?" sunoo questions. you smile, nodding politely.
"it's getting late and i don't really trust the campus nowadays after dark," you reason.
sunoo nods. he gestures for the door and you follow.
"let me walk you to your dorm, then," sunoo offers, smiling. a flash of something passes his eyes and you recognize it as hesitance.
"you don't have to," you automatically answer. you pause, realizing that you'd be walking alone at dusk through paths and hallways where a killer may have potentially walked.
the thought alone fills you with a visceral fear.
"i know," sunoo agrees. he hurriedly rushes to his desk, grabs his phone and keys before returning to your side.
"and i totally understand if you don't want me to, but i would feel much more at ease if i did," sunoo says, eyes pleading.
you nod, already reaching for the knob. "alright."
sunoo seems relieved as the two of you walk out of his office. he locks it before you start your way down the hall.
the journey is quiet, with sunoo's hands in his pockets and yours clasped tightly around the strap of your book bag. the night is chilly as you cross the courtyard to get to your dorm building, with barely anyone out at this hour. the walkways are lighted up to the extreme, illuminating every corner of the campus that the beams of light can reach.
you arrive at the entrance to your building and sunoo turns to you.
"now i can go to bed later tonight without any worry," sunoo says with a smile, eyes shaping into crescents. you can't help but grin back.
"please be careful on your way back," you remind. "and go straight home, if you can."
sunoo chuckles, reaching over to lay a hand on your arm. you inhale, the warmth from his palm bleeding through your thin sweater.
"i will," sunoo reassures. "i'll see you thursday, okay?"
you reach up shakily to grasp sunoo's outstretched arm, your own fingers curling around it.
"i'll see you."
---
somewhere, in a shadowy corner behind a bundle of brush, the figure stands, unmoving. concealed by the darkness, he watches through the windows, etching onto his mind the little details.
someone is playing the guitar next to an open window, puffing out smoke despite the building's prohibition on any narcotic substance. someone else is reading, the thick tome in their lap illuminated by a nearby lamp.
and someone else is merely looking out into the night sky. a pretty bundle of hair on their head billowing in the soft breeze. they seem nervous, shaken. lines appear between their eyebrows. like they're deep in thought.
the figure in the dark watches the thinker a little bit more, entranced by their beauty. eventually, they're satisfied. they stalk off into the night, the image of that one person's hair burned into the back of their eyelids.
---
"now, i understand midterms are coming up so i need you to be more attentive with your grades," sunoo eyes the lecture hall, staring pointedly at everyone's faces.
"don't wait until finals to scramble for that passing grade. i try to be gracious, but it's not a free-for-all," he continues. sunoo closes his laptop and the screen behind him goes black.
"remember, pre-test next week. you have tomorrow, the weekend, and monday to study," sunoo says with an air of finality.
"you may leave," he concludes with a wave of his hand. the room lets out a collective breath.
a few students stay behind as the rest trickle out of the doors, hounding sunoo with questions. he answers, face stoic and eyes focused as he gives curt, direct answers.
you stand from your seat, hovering around your desk, unsure when the others would leave. finally, they seem satisfied enough with their ambush on sunoo and they walk off, letting the door slam behind them.
sunoo spots you and his expression brightens. he beckons you over and you approach him, watching his slender fingers work on the stacks of paper in front of him.
"i must say, i'm excited to read your digest later tonight," sunoo admits, a bashful look in his eyes.
you laugh. "who gets excited to read a case digest?"
"i do," sunoo responds abruptly. "only when it comes to yours, though. you're always thorough, including all the details but organizing them in a way that's quick and easy to understand."
"that is an impressive feat, _______," he adds.
you feel your face heat up, your stomach giving way as if falling to the floor beneath you.
"you give me too much credit," you answer meekly, avoiding sunoo's eyes.
"you're a talented student. and i'm sure you'd be a talented lawyer eventually," sunoo reassures, shrugging on his bag. he steps in front of you.
"do you have a class after this?" sunoo asks. you shake your head 'no'.
sunoo nods, eyes trailing off to the side momentarily, as if pondering on something. he turns back to look at you, his signature bright smile returning.
"do you want to grab a bite together?"
you're taken aback by sunoo's offer, unsure what to do or say. the automatic response making its way up was a polite refusal. but sunoo has done you a favor and you think that this might be him asking for something back.
"are you sure?" is what you opt to say. sunoo's eyes narrow but he's smirking, as if this wasn't what he was expecting you to say.
"yes, i'm sure," sunoo replies. "don't worry about all that ethical stuff. i'm only taking you out for coffee and some snacks. besides, we're done with my class now, aren't we? i'm just plain old sunoo to you."
you giggle. "you could never be plain to me."
sunoo's head bows, his cheeks rounding even more as a blush creeps onto his face. you watch, amused, as sunoo obstructs half of his face with his hand.
"just say yes, _______," sunoo says from behind his hand.
you laugh fully this time, noticing as sunoo's ears turn red as well.
"alright, yes. i'd love a coffee with you."
---
the campus cafe stays open until midnight on most days, but since the incident, they've bumped it down to 9 pm.
it's now 8:30 and no one else was at the cafe but you and sunoo, seated at a booth tucked away near the back. the baristas have started to discreetly clean up for the night, emptying the pastry case little by little, but neither you nor sunoo had the heart to suggest leaving.
"that's some gnarly stuff," you comment as you try to digest the story sunoo had just told you about one case he worked on recently involving one woman literally stealing another woman's baby from her womb.
"it was sad overall," sunoo counters, leaning back in his chair from across you. you feel his legs shift against yours and a shiver runs up your spine.
at some point during the hours you've spent talking, sunoo had managed to sandwich your leg between both of his under the table. he held it there, rubbing against your ankle from time to time with his own, like your very own version of footsie.
"the trauma the actual mother got from it was unimaginable. and as for the woman who took her baby away from her, it was clear that she was not right in the right state of mind. those around her refused to see it as that and withheld proper care for her," sunoo recounts, staring directly into your eyes.
his brown irises seem brighter under the yellow-tinged light of the cafe, dancing with something you can't quite put your finger on.
before you could say anything in response, sunoo reaches over the table to where your hand rests. he takes it in his, slowly intertwining your fingers together.
your heart hammers against your chest. sunoo is still looking at you, silent, but a thousand words poring from his intense gaze.
"i'm parked not far from here and my apartment's just a short drive away," sunoo begins, his thumb drawing patterns onto your palm.
your eyebrows raise, your chest heaving as you take deeper breaths. your body seems to seize up.
is this really happening?
"gonna tell me more about your cases, professor?" you ask, purposely taking up his title again in conversation.
sunoo smiles knowingly, digging the nail on his thumb a little deeper into your palm. your breath hitches and you nearly quiver.
"i can. but i'd like to know more about the stories you have to tell if that's okay," sunoo says, rubbing over the little crescent-shaped dent he made.
"what do you want to know?" you question, raising an eyebrow.
sunoo grins.
"everything."
---
true to his word, sunoo seems to want to know everything.
everything about your body, that is. but he reasons that your body can tell a million different stories about yourself, too.
"like how you like being kissed," sunoo says, pulling away momentarily from your lips as he slams the front door shut behind him.
he presses his mouth against yours once more and you groan, pulling him closer by the front of his shirt. sunoo slips his hands under your own blouse, nails dragging down your back as he guides you to the couch.
sunoo distances himself again, kissing down your neck, still clawing at your back. you squirm, whimpering pathetically.
"your body can tell me what your pain tolerance is," sunoo whispers lowly next to your ear, catching your earlobe between his teeth.
"and i have a feeling it's pretty high, sweetheart."
you moan, pressing yourself closer to sunoo. he retaliates by shoving you down onto the sofa. your hair is a mess, your blouse skewed and wrinkled on your body.
"it is," you confirm, quickly pulling your shirt over your head and tossing it to the floor.
sunoo bites his lip, fingers working deftly on his belt. he gets it undone and hurriedly unbuttons and unzips his pants, pulling it down along with his underwear.
"show me," sunoo commands, reaching down to grab your jaw, lining your face up with his half-hard cock.
you sit up, grabbing onto sunoo's firm thighs with one hand to steady yourself. you grab the base of sunoo's cock in the other, pumping slowly. gathering spit in your mouth, you envelop sunoo's length with your mouth, a hiss escaping the man standing above you.
"god, that mouth," sunoo begins, threading his fingers through your hair. "i knew it did more than give me the right answers in class."
you moan around him, peering up at sunoo through your lashes. sunoo's eyes darken as he watches you take more of him, going down all the way to the very base.
you pull back, coughing. sunoo tugs you closer by the hair and you yelp in surprise.
"come on, i know you can do better," sunoo urges.
you wrap your lips around sunoo again, sucking in hard. you start to move, bobbing up and down, taking more and more of sunoo in as you go. he doesn't shy away from noise, moaning and groaning as you repeatedly let his tip hit the back of your throat.
"fuck," sunoo mutters, yanking you off him.
"bend over the back of the couch, baby. keep that cute skirt on."
you wipe the spit from your chin, tears pooling at the corner of your eyes. despite your debauched appearance, looking as if close to crying, the wetness between your legs is undeniable. you reach down to pull your panties off, and a dark spot is clearly visible on the fabric.
sunoo takes it from you, grabbing your chin.
"open," sunoo says. you oblige, letting your jaw fall slack. he shoves your panties in your waiting mouth and you gasp in surprise. the sound muffles around the damp cloth.
"bend over," sunoo barks. "don't make me repeat myself."
you lean over the back of the couch, sticking your hips out as far as they would go. you hear sunoo give a sound of satisfaction, his hands moving your skirt up further your body and exposing your ass and drenched pussy.
without a word of warning, sunoo plunges in half of himself and you cry out. you breathe through your nose, your underwear constricting any airflow through your mouth.
sunoo eases the rest of his way in and your eyes roll into the back of your head.
'yes! god yes! feels so good, sunoo!' is what you want to say but it comes out a garbled mess.
sunoo starts moving, shallow at first, as if pacing himself. slowly, he moves more and more of him out of your pussy before roughly thrusting back in. eventually, he finds a suitable rhythm, his hands gripping at your waist tightly.
"feels amazing," sunoo compliments. "my favorite student. so good for me, so obedient, always doing what i tell her to do."
you whine, looking back at sunoo. you'd give anything to see his face up close at this moment.
sunoo leans down, kissing your temple. he reaches in front of you, pulling the panties from your mouth. drool drips from your lips and you sob in embarrassment.
"dirty," sunoo comments disapprovingly. "drooling all over my couch like some whore."
"i-i'm your whore," you croak out weakly. despite the wetness in your mouth, your throat had seemingly dried up.
sunoo seems impressed by this, chuckling darkly. "yeah? you're my whore? mine to use?"
you nod, moaning wantonly as you feel sunoo deliver a particularly hard thrust.
"yes. d-do anything to me, please," you continue. sunoo grunts, movements speeding up.
your head spins, a knot in your abdomen tightening with each drag of sunoo's cock against your walls. you press your face against the couch, sunoo's name falling from your mouth like a mantra.
"gonna cum? gonna cum all over my cock?" sunoo taunts, pressing his chest against your back.
"yes," is all you can reply. sunoo' bites into your shoulder and you shudder, the sting adding to the sensations coursing through your whole body.
"me too," sunoo says. "gonna pump this pussy with my cum."
you whimper pathetically and this eggs sunoo on. his thrusts turn erratic and you're thrown into another level of pleasure.
"sunoo, i-i'mā€”!"
your sentence is cut off as your orgasm rocks through your whole body, a high-pitched moan echoing off sunoo's apartment walls. he continues to stretch you out, despite the sensitivity, chasing his own high.
"just like that, sweetheart, so tight, so goddamn tight," sunoo chants. a moment later, he shudders, finishing deep inside you, his whole cock buried in your pulsating hole.
soft whimpers continuously escape you, too dazed to form a coherent sentence. sunoo pulls out moments later, replacing his length with two of his fingers. you protest but it falls on deaf ears.
"i know sweetheart, i know," sunoo coos, kissing down the expanse of your back. you slump against the sofa, weak and panting.
sunoo gently moves you to face him, a soft smile on his face, a total contrast to the filthy act you just participated in.
"feel good?" sunoo asks, kissing your nose.
you nod, eyes suddenly heavy. "s'good."
sunoo chuckles, wrapping his arms around you.
"come on, we need to get you cleaned up."
---
the figure observes through glass tonight.
some of the thinker's hair is pinned up, the other half of it flowing down their shoulders. they laugh at a joke.
the thinker's phone goes off. the figure in the dark gives a start, fingertips tingling in excitement.
the figure slinks back into the shadow.
the thinker will finally be theirs.
---
"they made an arrest today."
you look up nervously from your phone, having just read the local news reports.
"the boyfriend, right?" sunghoon continues, holding his own phone up for everyone to see.
just as he says this, the rest of the bar's chatter slowly turns grim and quiet as patrons, mostly students from your university, discover the new development in kazuha's case through their own social media.
"she was pregnant," jake says in disbelief, eyes glued to his screen.
"he probably thought getting rid of them was the easiest way out," sunghoon deduces.
"but on campus? by stabbing her?" you counter. "he could have gone about this differently."
"maybe he panicked," jake offers. "or wasn't thinking straight."
"they're still going to put him on trial so he still has a chance to be proven innocent," sunghoon says.
you shake your head, leaning back in your seat. "i'm not convinced, is all."
jake snickers. "you have a better theory, ms. law student?"
you give him a look and jake holds his hands up in defeat. your phone suddenly vibrates on the table, momentarily distracting you. picking it up, you see a notification.
you're at paradoxx bar right?
you suppress a smile, realizing it's a text from sunoo. you type out a reply confirming your location and he responds just as quickly.
come meet me outside for a bit? i'm in the alley out back.
you take a quick glance around the table at your friends, but it seems as if jake and sunghoon were engaged in another topic. you pocket your phone, clearing your throat.
"i'm gonna go meet a friend real quick outside if you don't mind. i'll be back before you know it," you say, sliding out of your seat, ignoring the curious looks from your jake and sunghoon.
"want us to come with you?" sunghoon asks.
you wave him off. "i'll be fine. it's a busy night. lots of witnesses."
jake snickers at this but a look of discomfort washes over sunghoon's face. you pat his back reassuringly.
"i won't be long, i promise," you say, already walking away.
you exit the bar and the wind immediately whips your hair around. you sweep it out of your face, making your way to the alley between the bar and the building beside it, the designated smoking spot for the bar patrons or any other people passing by.
you're startled to see that it's completely empty. worrying for sunoo, you rush the rest of the way, footsteps bouncing off the walls.
"sunoo?" you call out as you round the corner.
true enough, your criminal law professor is standing there, partially concealed by the shadows, but you'd know that strikingly pale face from a mile away.
"hey," he responds, stepping fully into the glow of the bar's back door light, the only source of illumination in this little corner. he's wearing a black hoodie and black jeans, making him look younger, possibly passing as a student himself.
"i missed you," sunoo whispers just as you step into his arms. he pulls you into an embrace, kissing the top of your head.
"we saw each other at class earlier," you point out, beaming up at him. sunoo chuckles, leaning down to kiss you square on the mouth this time.
he pulls away barely an inch, your noses still touching. his breath fans against your face.
"yeah, but i missed you," sunoo reiterates.
your mind flashes back to the night in his apartment, yet to be repeated. a fire ignites in you at the thought of having sunoo to yourself like that a second time.
"so much that we're agreeing to meet behind dingy bars now?" you tease, kissing a spot on sunoo's jaw.
sunoo hums, a large hand resting loosely around your neck. his grip tightens and you gasp softly, the first hints of arousal appearing within your core.
"exactly," sunoo responds.
you laugh lightly as sunoo backs you up against the bar's back wall, a knee pressing between your legs.
"here? really?" you ask, a hint of amusement in your voice. you wanted to berate him playfully for his choice of a quickie location but his hand around your neck tightens even more.
"s-sunooā€”"
sunoo clamps down even harder on your throat and your eyes grow wide. you open your mouth to utter something, a safeword, but you belatedly realize you don't have one. not with sunoo.
"yes, here," sunoo confirms, smiling sweetly. you shake your head, tapping rapidly on his arm to signal that no, you need to stop.
but sunoo digs his fingers deeper into your skin. you gasp, but no sound comes out. your head starts to feel light and that's when you see sunoo pull something out of his back pocket.
the smooth glide of metal against metal reaches your ears. a moment later, you feel a sharp prick on your side.
a switchblade.
"do you get it yet?" sunoo asks, looking down at you with the same look he gave you whenever he asks a question in class. as if quizzing you on details of a case.
"i am the same height as kazuha's boyfriend," sunoo begins, piercing your torso deeper.
you tremble. you feel the urge to throw up.
"he doesn't dress a particular way, either. a mask, a hoodie with the hood up, and plain pants would do it. any camera that would have captured me going in and out of her room would have been fooled."
you claw at his arm now, frantically swiping at any part of him that you can reach, but you know that the oxygen is rapidly decreasing in your body, rendering you weak.
"you want to ask me 'how?'. 'why?'" sunoo continues. you wrap your hands around sunoo's arm that's holding you down instead, scared that any more movement would lead to the knife plunging even deeper into you.
"she was my closest colleague's student," sunoo says. "i saw her exit his office one time and i thought she was the prettiest thing i've ever laid eyes on."
"after you, of course," sunoo adds, kissing your cheek. you jerk away but pain shoots through your head.
you're losing too much air.
"it wasn't hard for me to gather enough information about her. you saw how easily i could weasel information out of the police. the university registrar is a walk in the park," sunoo explains with an amused laugh.
"now, why did i do it?" sunoo repeats. he smiles, placing another, longer kiss to the side of your mouth.
"just because."
what follows next is a blur to you.
you feel pain rip through your torso and you feel it repeatedly, over and over and over again. you want to scream. you have to scream.
but you can't.
the damp ground greets you like an old friend, slamming into you as you fall. there's a pain in your face as you lie facedown, in your head, too, but nothing compares to the burning you feel in your stomach, climbing up and down and all around all at once.
the pain disappears moments later, replaced by a dull, numbing throb. you feel cold but warm at the same time.
you feel sleepy.
you hear footsteps fading somewhere behind you but you don't give them any mind.
at this point, you just want to sleep.
the wind blows. your hair flutters one last time.
and then, you sleep.
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chngfrthwrst Ā· 10 months ago
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ā€˜09 Ghoap + Reader
fem reader
a/n: cod brainrot means making a whole blog dedicated to just cod fanfics šŸ¤ž also iā€™m still new to posting on tumblr so if anyone has any tips to make this better pls lmk thanks šŸ«¶
look at the tags b4 u read ā¤ļø
ā™”ļøŽ ā™”ļøŽ ā™”ļøŽ
Soap smirked down at you both, grabbing each of your chins and making sure you were both paying attention to him fully.
ā€œGhost. Fuck our darling girl, wonā€™t you? Be a good boy now.ā€ You felt a shiver run down your spine, the idea of Soap completely ignoring you and treating you like some kind of toy he could play with was doing things for you.
Ghost nods quickly and moves behind where youā€™re currently sitting on your knees. He softly touches your waist and gently pushes you to lean forward.
You obey his hands, moving yourself forward so you sit on all fours, presenting yourself to his prying eyes. He hums an approval before leaning forward and hugging you close to his chest.
ā€œGood boy, Ghost. Now fuck her like you mean it.ā€ You can feel Ghost groan against your back and his cock twitches near your cunt.
Ghost leans away from where we was holding you close to his body and takes a hand away. Before you can ask any questions or even make a sound of disappointment, you feel Soapā€™s boot pressing between your shoulders and you let him push your chest to the floor.
He keeps his boot pressed roughly between your shoulder blades, heavy and dirty against your soft skin. Ghost pushes into your cunt just as you try to protest your position and you moan loudly.
Soap had been teasing you both for so long and you were finally getting the reward youā€™d both worked so hard for.
Ghost wastes no time in rutting into you, hips snapping back to yours hard and fast. He hits all the right spots and leaves you a whimpering mess under the Captainā€™s boot.
ā€œSuch a good girl. Youā€™re taking it so well, baby.ā€ He coos, pushing his boot into your back a little harder. You clench around Ghost as he does this and you feel more than hear the resulting groan from the man behind you.
ā€œThatā€™s right, keep going. Donā€™t you want to cum for me?ā€ Soapā€™s talking to both of you now, teasing you and degrading your efforts. Heā€™s completely broken you. All you can do it beg and whine underneath them both as they use you.
ā€œFuck. So tight.ā€ Ghost is mumbling behind you, groaning and panting each time he thrusts back into your cunt. You can feel him twitching more and more and you squeeze around him.
ā€œPlease fill me up, Ghost. God please itā€™s all I need- FUCK!ā€ You yelp in pain as you feel a hand slap your ass, the skin tender from the previous spanking.
ā€œGood toys donā€™t speak. Unless you arenā€™t a good girl like I thought you were?ā€ You almost cry at the implication and you squeeze on Ghostā€™s cock in protest.
You do stay silent though, biting your lip to try and silence the pleas threatening to burst past your lips.
ā€œSheā€™s so fucking tight. Fuck. Please can I cum inside her please please.ā€ Ghost is barely legible, begging and moaning as he fucks you like itā€™s the last time.
Soap digs his boot into you even further before muttering out an approval for Ghost to cum. Said man wastes no time in following his orders and stills himself deep inside you.
You whine, another denied orgasm breaking your spirit even more. Ghost mumbles unintelligibly into your back, a string of ā€˜thank youā€™s leaving his bruised lips.
ā€œMake her cum, Ghost. Be a good boy and clean up your mess.ā€ You can hear the smile is Soapā€™s voice and finally you feel his foot leave your back and instead rest next to your head.
ā€œNow, Sergeant.ā€ Ghost whimpers pathetically, but immediately flips you over and kisses his way to your cunt which is now covered in a variety of all of your mixed fluids.
Ghostā€™s fingers dance across your thighs teasingly and you groan in annoyance. He takes this as a sign to hurry up and puts his mouth to your core.
You throw your head back and make eye contact with Soap. He smiles fondly at you before squatting down so heā€™s closer to you.
ā€œDoes he feel good? Is he eating you out right, baby?ā€ You nod weakly, throwing your head back a bit further when Ghost finds the perfect spot and starts attacking it relentlessly.
ā€œSo good, so good.ā€ You blabber, grabbing a fistfull of Ghostā€™s hair and reaching your other hand to wrap around Soapā€™s boot.
ā€œGood. Youā€™re both so fucking perfect. You listen so well, donā€™t you?ā€ You nod, completely dazed and holding onto them both for dear life.
Then Ghost is pushing his fingers into you instead of his tongue and you cum. White hot fire lashes at the edges of your vision and consumes your body as you finally get the orgasm youā€™ve been denied all night.
Slowly but surely, the fire flickers away and you come back to your body and you notice Soap is sitting on the ground next to you and heā€™s holding you close.
ā€œYou with me?ā€ You nod, words escaping you completely. He turns to Ghost and he nods as well, probably feeling as boneless as you do right now.
You smile sweetly at him and offer a hand to him. He grabs your hand softly and leans in to cuddle with you both.
You stay like that for a while, basking in the afterglow of your orgasm and enjoying the warmth of their bodies surrounding you and drowning out the rest of the world.
ā€œWe should get you two cleaned up, hm?ā€ You feel Ghost grumble and shake his head against your chest, effectively moving your tits to a less comfortable position.
ā€œGhost. My boobs hurt.ā€ You grumble back at him and he sighs, lifting himself and looking at you both.
You can almost see the hearts in his eyes.
ā€œGood. Come on now, both of you need a bath.ā€ Soap gently lifts you before wrapping an arm around Ghost and leads you both to the bathroom.
He sits you down on the countertop and pushes Ghost to sit on the lid of the toilet. Ghost slumps against the back of his makeshift seat and you giggle to yourself.
He closes his eyes and leans back and you stare at him, taking in the soft freckles that litter his skin and the old scars that carve into his flesh. The dingy light in the bathroom makes it hard to make out every part of his face and you long for the daylight to touch his skin again so you can admire it properly.
You were too busy staring at Ghost to notice Soap had filled the bath and finally stripped off his jacket. He had also rolled up his sleeves and you could see his arms threatening to rip his shirt to pieces.
ā€œCome here, you!ā€ He playfully grabs you and you giggle, wriggling in his grasp. Despite your best efforts, he keeps hold of you and delicately places you in the large bathtub.
You pout at him, still very much in subspace and not willing to let him leave you alone any time soon. He looks at you knowingly and smiles again.
ā€œIā€™ll come wash you soon, let me get this lump in there with you first, though, okay?ā€ You roll your eyes dramatically and slump against the edge of the tub. Soap smiles and turns to Ghost who is now snoring softly.
ā€œWake up, baby. You need a bath.ā€ Ghost groans and picks himself up only to sit back down almost immediately. His legs shake a little and you giggle again.
ā€œDamnit.ā€ Ghost groans. He always hated being helped but sometimes he really needed it. Soap knew this and simply picked him up and slotted him right next to you in the tub.
You smiled and crawled over to the opposite edge, looking into Soapā€™s eyes.
He was always so sweet after heā€™d broken you to pieces.
But he always knew exactly how to put you back together.
And you always knew how to put him back together as well.
You kiss him softly and lean back, letting him do as he pleases.
Ghost lets Soap clean him as well and hums softly when you start massaging the shampoo into his hair.
ā€œI like this.ā€ You say quietly. But not quietly enough as both boys smile and hug you tightly.
What a way to end the night.
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tomorrowillbeyou Ā· 2 years ago
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alright, i'm not sure how much of this is already commonly known but i have been investigating the source of these images:
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and this video:
youtube
a comment on this blog post suggests that they were taken in sydney:
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the upload date of the video also dates the events to before january 2008. we know that tucker rule and james dewees were there. the song they're singing is gloves by reggie and the full effect:
youtube
for these reasons, i THOUGHT that the photos and video were taken at the sydney entertainment center on november 30th 2011. reggie and the full effect opened for mcr that night and gloves was on their setlist:
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this is backed up by this youtube comment on the dancing queen video talking about fluxuation in sydney (i unfortunately can't find the video it mentions but the channel is here):
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tucker talks about playing for mcr in australia in 2007 in this podcast clip:
youtube
this was what i THOUGHT. and i was going to post this but i thought i should do a little more research just to see if i could find anything more. and i stumbled across this livejournal post:
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every single image on the post is broken. but i'm pretty confident that the pictures we all know and love were in there.
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^this one especially seems to line up. they were taken at a bar called the lobo plantation in sydney on november 29th 2011.
the captions of the other pictures make me SO mad that they were deleted. im so fucking curious. well thank you to deleted livejournal user theyoungpretend for (probably) being the one to post these historical images. if anyone knows of any way to access the rest pls lmk (tinypic went down and all the images hosted on there were deleted)
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also this picture seems to have been taken on the same night??
here are some more (questionably worded unfortunately. like some of these are really insane) posts which mention what happened:
x (i think this may be from one of the people in the picture above?), x, x, x (hidden in. ryan ross/matt cortez fic?), x, x, x, x, x, x (masterpost where almost all the links are broken). ive saved all of these on the wayback machine in case they ever get deleted.
this iconic ray moment was the day after btw:
youtube
if anyone has any more info or any pics PLEASE let me know!!!!!!
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lueurjun Ā· 2 years ago
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hufflepuff boyfriend heeseung
feeling really inspired these days idk why, hence why the frequent posts. i might do a written scenario on this too. also lmk if you want more hogwarts enhypen. this is also really long so iā€™m very sorry about that but iā€™m running on no sleep itā€™s 5 am and iā€™m tired so pls if itā€™s bad cut me some slack aasdhfkfkdl enjoy
idc what anyone says lee heeseung screams hufflepuff to me
maybe bc iā€™m a hufflepuff and i want that man in my house
let me have my moment
for the sake of this you guys are also in hufflepuff because this was an impulsive burst of motivation I DONT HAVE A LOT TO WORK WITH RIGHT NOW PLS LET ME LIVE
change it in your mind if youā€™d like
anyways weā€™re going for the you fell first, he fell harder trope
i mean who wouldnā€™t fall at the mere sight of him?
you began harbouring a little crush on him during third year
specifically during potions class when he took the fall for you against snape after you messed up the shrinking potion
he wasnā€™t even mad. he just gave you a small smile and told you ( gently) to be more careful
you never messed up ever again because if lee heeseung tells you to be careful YOU BE CAREFUL
anyways yes from then on youā€™re all heart eyes for him any interaction leaves you a bumbling mess
he once sat down next to you in the great hall and you damn near drowned yourself in pumpkin juice
he didnā€™t reciprocate your crush until fifth year
heā€™s a lil slow but hey! we got there in the end
his crush specifically started after he got sick and had to spend some time in the hospital wing and you went to great lengths to get past madam pomfrey JUST to give him your notes
youā€™re an adorable little magic try hard for him like who would go to great lengths like you? no one heeseung should put a ring on it rn
or else i will
jkjk
unlessā€¦
ANYWAYS
youā€™re very good at hiding your crush ( for the most part other than the fact that you freeze whenever heā€™s around ) but youā€™re not completely hopeless
heeseung, on the other hand, is absolutely hopeless
anytime youā€™re in the vicinity this boy becomes a blushing mess
literally heart eyes for you
you notice that heā€™s acting different and at first it scares you because suddenly he seems distant
and you start panicking
so you go to sunghoon
bad idea
ā€œis heeseung mad at me?ā€
ā€œyes. he hates you.ā€
ā€œWHAT?!ā€
cue jake stepping in with a wild look of panic on his face
ā€œHE DOESNā€™T HATE YOU!! SUNGHOON WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS IS OUR DEAR FRIENDS SOULMATE!!! WHY ARE YOU CAUSING TROUBLE?ā€
sunghoon just sips his pumpkin juice and goes: ā€œfunnyā€
it wasnā€™t funny you almost cried
little baby hogwarts student riki who follows them around found it hilarious tho
ā€œHA GOOD ONE HYUNGā€
jake is like a stressed out father
ā€œriki nishimura eat your toast!ā€
and youā€™re just confused because you heard jake call you heeseungā€™s soulmate in a moment of stress
heeseung is blissfully unaware of the turmoil at the dinner table when he strolls into the great hall
though he goes paler than nearly headless nick when he sees you, his precious little soulmate, surrounded by the group of demon spawns he calls his friends
he manages to go even paler when you stand up and march towards him with a look of determination
and heā€™s taken by surprise when you yank his tie and drag him out of the great hall prompting many hoots and whistles from your friends
poor heeseung just wanted some breakfast
you pull him into a quiet corner and heā€™s absolutely petrified
ā€œdo you hate me?ā€
you surprise yourself with how blunt you are
it takes a moment for the question to register in heeseungā€™s mind and when it doesā€¦he starts?? laughing
like manically
him? hate you? thatā€™s the funniest joke heā€™s ever been told
then he catches onto your ā€˜wtfā€™ look and realizes that youā€™re serious
mortified. sickened. DEVASTATED at the fact that you think he hates you
ā€œno-no! oh my god! no no. i donā€™t hate you? HATE YOU? ME? Goodness no! Iā€™m sorry I made you feel that way-itā€™s justā€¦you make me nervous and youā€™re really good looking and i think-no i KNOW! I KNOW iā€™m in love with you. please donā€™t hate meā€
honestly you arenā€™t sure what you was expecting but it definitely wasnā€™t that
youā€™re at a loss of words because holy shit
lee heeseung likes- no! no he said loves! he loves you
thereā€™s no words that come out
instead you dry heave and heeseung nearly sobs at the fact that he made you almost throw up with his confession
and that makes him dry heave
so there you both are in the corridor continuously heaving
jake, sunghoon and riki are peeking around the corner watching the whole exchange
one looks perplexed, and the other two look absolutely delighted
ā€œbet you five galleons heeseung throws up firstā€
ā€œyouā€™re onā€
ā€œyou are not betting on our friends failure! and riki stop gambling youā€™re like sixā€
anyways back to the shit show which is confession land
both of you manage to keep down the contents inside your stomach much to the dismay of sunghoon and riki
ā€œi wasnā€™t- i got nervous!ā€ you try to explain
ā€œitā€™s completely fine! i wasnā€™t meant to confess like that and i already knew you werenā€™t like-into meā€”ā€œ
sunghoon has had enough
bro pops out from around the corner
ā€œtheyā€™ve liked you since before merlin was even cruising around! just date already and spare me of this torture!ā€
everyone say thank you to sunghoon because after his help, the two of you start dating
finally! this took longer than i anticipated-i got carried away very sorry! okay continue
THE RELATIONSHIP YAY EVERYONE APPLAUD
the professors definitely shipped it and had bets on you both
snape owed mcgonagall twenty galleons
even dumbledore was in on it
holding hands under the table is an absolute must
heeseung does this thing when he senses you getting a bit stressed out in class where heā€™ll rub his thumb over the back of your hand
finding you both curled up together in the common room is a regular occurrence
youā€™re both devastatingly awkward but in the cutest way
thatā€™s also really painful to watch sometimes
cue your friend group watching you get all blushy and flustered after shamelessly flirting with each other
ā€œsomeone break them up before i avada kedavra myself here and nowā€
dragging heeseung by the tie is a common occurrence
and he has a thing for walking behind you gripping the sides of your shirt or robes
youā€™re both terribly protective of each other
if anyone hurts heeseungā€™s feelings, oh boy! not even voldemort would be able to stop you
ā€œdid they just insult you, hee? i think they did. HEY YOU! SAY THAT TO HIM AGAIN AND WATCH HOW FAST I RIP EVERY HAIR OUT OF YOUR SCALP, YOU TOAD!ā€
and if anyone upsets you? oh boy.
he literally shaved someoneā€™s eyebrows off for making you cry. man knows no consequence when it comes to protecting his partner
you both get really shy about pda
so that means whenever you want to share a peck, one of you will hold up a book to hide your faces
making out in the restricted section is a must
the two of you start sneaking off and it becomes noticeable to your friends
ā€œwhere are they?ā€
ā€œprobably swallowing each others tonguesā€
when they finally investigate they find out that the two of you have been sneaking off to read muggle stories to each other in the abandoned bathroom
even moaning myrtle cringes at how in love the two of you are
the two of you are really happy
and everyone else is happy that youā€™re happy
ā€œdibs on naming the future child!ā€
ā€œsunghoon you are absolutely never naming our babyā€
ā€œwhy not? sunghoon jr lee has a nice ring to itā€
you manage to compromise and agree to let sunghoon be the best man at your wedding
he did get the two of you together
perhaps the two of you should repay the favour and find him a match?
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kxmikomrade Ā· 2 years ago
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šŸĖ–ąæ Artist! S/O - Isagi, Bachira, Reo, Sae
ā•°ā”ˆāž¤Hcs of them with an Artistic S/O!! Genre: Fluff and crack Gn!reader or Any gender Warnings: Swearing, Not proof read bcs im lazy, idk wat else but lmk if theres anything else Waiter's Note: OH LOOK WHO FINALLY PULLED THIS OUTTA THEIR DRAFTS AFTER A WHOLE ASS 5 MONTHS LMAOO I HOPE U GUYS ENJOY <33 Reqs Open as usual!! Masterlists
Now Playing: An Art Gallery Could Never Be As Unique As You
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Very VERY VERYYYY fascinated on what you do, he thinks it's really cool
He canonly likes art too so let him join in!!
Draw him in any way like even a small doodle and he WILL COMBUST
He decorated his wall infront of his desk with your drawings and doodles, other things like custom keychains, origami, glass paintings are on his desk so he can see it everyday when he wakes up šŸ„¹šŸ„¹
Study dates with you two often end up in drawing-cuddling sessions
Starting with studying so you can both pass your exams to you two beside eachother, legs tangled under the kotatsu table while you both lay on your stomachs, drawing whatever you felt like drawing šŸ«¶
Let's just hope that you both pass your exams šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
When you have art block or you feel stressed, he offers to take you out to a walk (yk he loves those esp with you)
It may seem kinda annoying at first but trust me, it does WONDERS
YOUR WORKS ARE DISPLAYED THROUGHOUT THE ISAGI HOUSEHOLD āœØ
His parents like your creations too but they ALWAYS remind you whenever you come over that it's okay to take breaks and do other things šŸ„¹šŸ’–
He's not rich by all means, but he's willing to spend his money to get you supplies u want
When he got the letter for blue lock, you both agreed to meet at a park at night and you talked things through, promising to work hard and improve while you both are separated
Whenever the topic of art or s/o comes in, he just ends up talking everyones ear off in blue lock and the question was just from a truth or dare gamešŸ˜­
Whether or not you got recognized for your art and got more commissions/promotions or quit art to start something new that interests you, he's supportive just as you are for him šŸ«¶
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HE LOVES ART, AND YOUR AN ARTIST?? MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN
Introduces you to his mom <33 you both share tips and tricks and now she's like your teacher ITS SO CUTE
But Meguru gets pretty pouty if you just sit there beside his mom talking about art related things all day šŸ˜­
If you let him lay down on your lap and give him occasional kisses then he'll be able to sit still for a while longer
You gave him a bee-themed soccer ball you painted once and he ALWAYS has it on his bed so he can fall asleep hugging it šŸ„¹
He doesn't play with it tho, atleast not outdoors bcs he doesn't wanna ruin it šŸ˜­šŸ’–
Painting with him and his mom if she isn't busy!!
He always plays around and puts paint on your face, his mom scolds him for it LMAOO
Don't take him to art museums pls šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ HAVE YOU SEEN HOW HE WAS IN THE LIGHT NOVEL?? you both would get in trouble just because he was bored šŸ’€
BRAGS TO EVERYONE AND ANYONE IN BLUE LOCK ABOUT YOU THAT THEY LITERALLY KNOW YOU AND EVERY SINGLE ART PIECE YOU HAVE DONE BEFORE EVEN MEETING YOU OR SEEING THEM šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ˜­
Has tried to eat paint before šŸ§ā€ā™‚ļøMuch worse if you paint food then bro might try it again šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€
You sit on a bench nearby and draw while he practices, it's relaxing, just watch out for the ball šŸ˜­šŸ’€
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Oh boy
Id say for a FACT that you were broke until you started dating him unless you have really cheap materials or you're just really good at saving
Yk how art materials and art school is so ridiculously expensive?? Well, your LOVELY boyfriend here has it all covered
Mans literally already bought a whole art shop šŸ’€
Its not like it's anything new *looks at art big art studio*
PLEASE get a frying pan and smack some sense into this man's head bcs he was just about to buy his way into getting your art showcased in an art gallery/convention
He might, MIGHT stop if you use his own words against him. Like the whole 'i want to carve my own future' thing
Lets be fr, he won't stop, the most he could do is stop bribing his way to get your art showcased
Bby supports you alot tho :((
He just admires how much effort you're able to put in each work
When art block kicks in, he'll take you to go to expensive art galleries or to wherever the Mona Lisa is currently being showcased at
Just drag him out and tell him u wanna learn soccer šŸ˜­ it's honestly more fun than roaming around an art gallery
Paint him with his parents and they'll already start planning your marriage šŸ’€šŸ˜­
Bro when collage comes along, then your tuition fees and apartment bills are already paid like??? I wonder how šŸ¤”
PLS DRAW HIM AND SHOW HIM THAT THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO EXPRESS LOVE OTHER THAN MONEY SPENDING BCS HE'LL ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND WITH ALL THE TIME, EFFORT AND SKILL YOU PUT IN
He DEFINITELY frames all the drawings/paintings you give him. No buts
Let's be fr, he probably has a room in his house filled with your creations šŸ§ā€ā™‚ļø
I'm pretty sure that blue lock allows anything to be brought unless it's a phone or something (because they'll have to earn it back) so Reo brought this photo album/journal decorated by you and/or your drawings
AND YK THOSE MINI PRINTERS??? HE BROUGHT ONE TOO SO WHENEVER YOU SEND A NEW ARTWORK, HE PRINTS IT šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
Talks Nagi's ear off every time šŸ’€
Supportive bank in general šŸ‘ jkjk pls don't use him just for money or I will come for your eyeballs šŸ¤—
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Sae is pretty chill compared to his hardcore emo brother like did you see that one panel where he wanted to go home in the middle of a game while applying lotion???
He doesn't seem like the type to check social media often too so I hc that he draws after practices when he gets home to cool down for the night yk
I can definitely see him drawing his favorite characters from Chibi Maruko-chan whenever he feels stressed or has a bad day because of his stupid teammates who play like headless chickens šŸ™„(his words not mine)
So like when YOU came in, it's like he's surrounded by comfort when you two draw in silence while listening to your shared playlist šŸŒ¼
drawing fanarts for him that you wanna show off to everyone since he's beautiful and he's even more beautiful in your artstyle <33
he doesnt know about it tho because thats too embarrassing
rin follows you on that account with his private acc LMAOOOOOO
LISTEN. IMAGINE DRAWING HIM WITH HIS YEE YEE LOOKIN ASS BANGS AND TEASING HIM ABOUT IT HAHAHSHAHA
you secretly sent one to Rin for funsies once and he sent you a pic of Sae when he was young back, now you both have this sketchy deal thing going on that Sae doesnt know SHIT about
dw tho, both your mouths are sealed because now you got Rin to approve of you
If you live with him abroad, then your apartment/house is FILLED with notes/drawings/sketches/paintings/origamis, etc. im not exaggerating at ALL.
Imagine those cute and decorated fridges but make it the ENTIRE house
You both just slap some sticky note on walls, tables, chairs, cabinets, shelves, counters and draw on it,and neither of you clean them up, you just leave it there šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
it comes off when it comes off ig šŸ¤·
If you dont live with him abroad, then you guys have a minecraft server you both share thats literally FILLED with builds. Somehow, Sae's RIDICULOUSLY fast at learning these things and now hes an architect šŸ§ā€ā™‚ļø
Also those cooperative drawing websites/games?? yeah, you both have them OFTEN, like, every night other than when hes like SUPER tired
just stick to screenshoting him and drawing on his face
He buys you anything you need/want too and theres basically no stopping him šŸ¤·šŸ¤·
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Tagging: @inariezaki
[1341 words]
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liesmyth Ā· 6 months ago
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Weird question but you're the only person that's come across my dash that admits to being italian. I'm trying to learn the language for my partner and their family and was curious if you had any good recommendations for italian dubbed media. The internet only wants to seem to give duolingo clones or the same generic list of common words
Ok first of all I absolutely love the phrasing of this ask... ā€œadmitted to being Italianā€ <- me me ME.
tbh I primarily consume Italian media in Italian and English language media in English so I'm not very familiar with dubbing for the most part, but the dubbing industry in Italy is very popular and nearly allforeign films and shows that get a local release are dubbed. all of them are pretty solid, so I'd just suggest whichever media 1) is available to you and 2) is more relevant or accessible in term of vocabulary.
(This is assuming I've actually understood your question and you're asking about media dubbed INTO Italian. If I've totally misunderstood the question pls lmk!)
If you're looking for media that's originally in Italian: there aren't many Italian language films on Netflix afaik, but if you have a VPN (or your partner's family login info lol) then you could access Italian Netflix and especially Raiplay, which is free and includes most of the programming aired by the Rai channels. I would just recommend against media that has dialogue in strongly accented Italian ā€” shows like Montalbano or My Brilliant Friend or Suburra are very dialect-heavy and I wouldn't recommend them for language learning.
If you prefer podcasts / youtuber some of the recommendations here have been useful to a friend of mine! in general reddit is a lot more useful than google when you're looking for resources, ime, especially for hobby stuff
I hope this helps! pls if anyone has any recs, feel free to chime in
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theregencywriter Ā· 9 months ago
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hello could you please write something cute for colin? y/n is kind of a wallflower, she loves to bake (even though thatā€™s not really a norm in that time period) she loves to eat just like colin, she never thought a bridgerton would be interested in her
Recipe for Sweetness -
Colin Bridgerton x Reader
A/n- ahhhhh I love this request so much!!! If anyone has any more pls lmk! <3
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Most of the ton had their own vices. For some, it was the scandalous gossip provided by the elusive Lady Whistledown, for others it was late nights spent unchaperoned around a gentlemanā€™s house. Either of these, however indecent, would have been better than her daughterā€™s hobby, thought Y/Nā€™s mother. Since her debut at the start of the season, Y/N had a small amount of callers whose interest soon fizzled out as her meek personality made them quickly move onto more promising options.
Y/N was never one for dramatics. She hated the idea of a polite society, and even more so being trussed up infront of others in the hopes of finding a husband. To her, it was such a farce. The only solace she found at these events were her two friends, Penelope and Eloise. They had not really known Y/N before the seasons start, but as it neared its close they had all grown to become quite good friends. Sure, they did not understand why Y/N would turn down a promenade to bake in the servants kitchen, even if they themselves were also not in attendance, but they still bonded over their thirst for knowledge and adventure.
On one Monday midday Y/N came to the Bridgerton household. Her chaperone, Marie, held in her hand a three tiered tray of decadent pastries, lovingly baked and hand decorated by Y/N. As Marie went through to the drawing room to set down the desserts Y/N was informed that Eloise was currently out and unable to join her for a tea, though she was more than welcome to wait.
Y/N entered the room and was greeted by Colin Bridgerton, eating a pastry. He turned to her and choked a little bit, as if caught red handed. ā€œI apologise, miss Y/nā€ he managed to utter. ā€œItā€™s quite alright Colin, what do you think of them?ā€ Although it somewhat hurt to see her creation be consumed by someone other than the intended party, she thought no harm in staying civil. ā€œThey are wonderful, I did not realise they were not our own until I had taken a bit and looked down at the name on the tray. Please, give compliments to your kitchen.ā€
Y/N smiled, ā€œ Actually, I made them myselfā€ Colin looked at her somewhat bewildered. ā€œYou are full of surprises arenā€™t you?ā€ He replied, his voice filled partially with a slight crack. ā€œHowever do you mean?ā€ Y/N questioned? He looked into her eyes, truly looked like no other man had, and advanced closer. ā€œYou appear as a wallflower at all of the events. Stood in the back, no dance to be had.ā€ Y/n drew a puzzled look onto her face, is this meant to be a compliment? ā€œAnd yet when I observe you with my sister away from society, you light up, your spark well and truly visible. In some ways I envy my sister, that she is able to make that side of you appear.ā€
He drew in closer yet again, as the footsteps of Eloise neared, back from promenade. He smiled down at Y/N, and as he left he turned back to her ā€œI would very much like to call upon you tomorrow, of course if Eloise shall allow it.ā€ He chuckled, before passing his sister and leaving.
Having her utterly breathless
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thevtuberconfessional Ā· 22 days ago
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Oh I get you, I try to keep away from Nijisanji as much as possible as well. The only streamers I actively watch are Zali and occasionally Sonny (if there's anything bad about them, pls lmk šŸ˜­)
But about Kyrio, I really didn't know anything about him so I went in without any prejudices and still immediately picked up on his manipulative behavior.
In one of his first streams he went on a long rant about how there are so many people that keep away from him without ever having talked to him before. He painted it as everyone was wrong and he's so misunderstood and ofc his chat ate it up. But to me this whole rant was just so strange because... sure, there are exceptions, but everyone knows that you can easily manipulate the narrative in a private conversation and that it's better to listen to the majority than to go the "but he was nice to ME" route.
He also often went into long monologues on how much he missed and loves his chat. At first I was like mmm well it's a bit excessive, but pretty much every cc says that nowadays. But since then, it has become just extreme. There is absolutely NO reason for any cc to remember viewers names, not simply usernames but actually preferred NICKNAMES, and single them out and SPECIFICALLY tell that one individual that "I care! I love you! I think you're beautiful! And I am here for you!!" NO. NEVER EVERRR. That's so fucking unhealthy. Luckily I am an adult with friends and family and the ccs I usually watch all set healthy boundaries so I know very well what line is strange to cross. But for anyone in a bad mental state and more vulnerable position, this is so incredibly dangerous. The way whenever new chatters come in he specifically singles them out and asks personal questions and wants to know more. Having nicknames with regular viewers. Saying "don't trauma dump" but every time someone says they have a hard time, he spends minutes telling them that he cares and is here for them. It's sick.
Also, this is a bit more petty, but why tf does he act like he goes through hardship just because he has a deep voice. Like even for men, men with deeper voice have it easier in life. There are so many ccs I can name on top of my head that went viral or popped off PURELY because they have a deep voice, there is a reason so many amab streamers purposely lower their voice when they get started. Sorry Iris but he mentions this so often, it pisses me off every time šŸ˜‚ YOU'RE LIVING LIFE IN EASY MODE, JUST APPRECIATE IT DUDE šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜‚
Hey, no problem. No need to apologize, this is a confession blog-- this blog is BUILT for this stuff! But anyway, yeah. Reading through this ask was the first time I got fully acquainted with the Kyrio drama and WOW, this was a lot worse than I thought. It's really not right. It just feels...scummy. To be honest, this feels like some big issues on his part--I'm not sure if he's doing this on purpose or not, but regardless, he's reaching ALL NEW levels of parasocial. Literally-- I've been in a lot of streamer Fandoms, and this is genuinely insane. I really hope he calms down soon somehow, because this is getting concerning.
Also, yeah, I totally get the last one--while you can mention disliking having a cheap voice a few times [I completely understand having insecurities about your voice and sometimes having genuine difficulty with them], after mentioning it so many times it definitely sounds like attention seeking/fishing for compliments. I try to give the benefit of the doubt in that aspect, usually, but let's be honest, it's getting weird...
Again, no prob, Anon. I like reading your thoughts! Have a good rest of your day or night ~ .
~ Mod Iris
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