#so id likely not be messed with like could happen with a computer

[stump-salsa]

Adding onto this because I have a lot of thoughts about this topic. This might come out as a bit scrambled because I’m not thinking too hard as I type I just need to get it all out.

First of all, no, defectiveness is not an allegory for autism.

Not only would this be extremely problematic due to the nature of how defectives are treated (executed via electrocution, being seen as highly unstable and dangerous monsters), but you’re also humanising irkens too much. Irkens and humans… not the same! I’m not saying they CAN’T be autistic, I’m just saying that defectiveness and autism are NOT THE SAME THING. This is something that REALLY irks me. (Pun intended). It genuinely makes me very uncomfortable and I know people are going to disagree with me and tell me things like “but the irken empire is messed up! That’s the point!” Okay, well I’m not finished.

“You’re a monster, Zim! Everything you touch gets destroyed!”

Defectiveness isn’t a problem with the irken itself, with the organic brain. Defectiveness is an issue with the PAK. A lot of issues in Zim’s case. The PAK is broken. It literally says this in The Trial:

“Irken Zim’s ID PAK is damaged, and has led to a corrupt data path. He is… a defective.”

His PAK is so broken that it corrupts the Control Brains! Almost like a computer virus, I guess.

Defectives are unpredictable, unstable, and dangerous because their PAKs are damaged. It’s hard to keep them in line which is why they need to be terminated. Zim is an active threat to the entire empire, which would be impressive if they learned how to utilise him. But they can’t. He’s too unpredictable. He could end up annihilating his own race by accident (which has almost happened before). He could be set off in a way that makes him WANT to destroy the empire. No matter what he does, something gets destroyed. And the empire doesn’t want it to be them because they KNOW he’s an actual threat. He’s proved that multiple times. It’s safer to just banish him to a planet so far away that it’s practically impossible for them to cross paths again, all while he’s under the impression he’s been sent on a top secret mission. He’ll direct all his destructive energy towards that and not mess up things for the empire anymore. And they need to keep up the illusion so they don’t set him off because they can’t keep him under control like they can everyone else. THAT is what defectiveness is.

Zim was doomed from the second his broken PAK was attached.

Also, defectives aren’t common either. That’s why it’s such a big deal when they’re discovered with this huge existence evaluation. They’re a flaw in the empire’s perfect code and need to be scrubbed from existence and everyone needs to pretend it never happened. That such an irken never existed.

“Irken Zim's data is not allowed into the collective. His PAK will be removed, and erased.”

Also, I know I said it in the original post, but no, irkens who show emotion are not defective. Sure, maybe it’s seen as weak to show emotions like sadness, but it’s literally impossible to prevent that. They very clearly show other emotions like anger, happiness, frustration… sadness is just another one. It’s not defective to be sad, it’s just funny.

And no, I don’t think Skoodge and Tak are defective. I don’t really have a coherent explanation for this. I know it’s a popular headcanon, I just don’t see it.

I don’t really care if you disagree with me on that, it’s your headcanon. I’m just saying that I personally don’t see it. You do you. What I’m actually passionate about is everything I said before that.

I don’t really know how to tie this all together, but I want to share my thoughts on this topic because I feel like it’s important - ESPECIALLY the first part. I’ll come back to this if I have any more thoughts about it because I’m very passionate about defectiveness as a concept.

The term ‘defective’ is thrown around way too loosely in this fandom. Having emotions does not make an irken defective.

[cozycassette]

I've decided that my current alt mode would be an ereader, specifically the type I have, a Kobo Libra 2

[petew21-blog]

Friends with benefits

Two long time friends Trent and Brett. A classic story. Met in kindergarten and have been friends since. Grew up together. Spent their holidays together. Graduated together. But then stopped seeing each other as often. Why? Because adult life ain't easy. Brett had to find a job while Trent got into college, graduated and on top of that became a fitness influencer. Brett started his Twitch account and became a gamer, which he had time for, cause how he was constantly doing a different job, depending on what he could find. But both of them always took some time off for a beer with their buddy.

This is Trent

Although he doesn't appear like that, he is a 24 year old male with young looks

On the other hand Brett is also young, but his looks are a bit more mature. Maybe it's because of all the hair

This is Brett

So hairy.

Normal guys, right? Well something was about to change very soon

Friday, August 2nd, 5 PM

Brett:"Hey, dude. Wanna grab a beer later tonight?"

Trent:"Yeah, sure. I am down. Is 8:30 ok? I gotta finish a video"

Brett:"Oh yeah, totally fine. See you then"

Friday, August 2nd, sports bar, 8:33 PM

At the bar Brett waits patiently, only his leg is slightly shaking. Trent comes in through the door. It's kinda funny, cause Trent used to be really insecure and not confident. Now he looks basically like a god. But still, he has this cute shy looking guy whose face doesnt match his body and the fact that he's 24. Brett was kinds jealous, most of the people that didn't know him always thought he was older because of his looks. Trent had the opposite problem. Always had to show ID whenever he went. Yet Brett was probably more jealous about his life in general. He finished school, took great care of his body, which now could help him hook up with anyone he would set his mind to.

Brett:"Hey, maaaan. How are you doing?"

Trent:"Heyyy. Yeah good. You know, single influencer life, haha"

Brett:"The ladies must be driving you crazy"

Trent:"If only it were just ladies. Haha. You should see the messages some of these gay dudes keep sending me. It's insane"

Brett:"You tell me. They always send random shits to my chats while playing. But it's mostly dumb kids."

Trent:"I think we should find you a date for tonight"

Brett:"Nahhh, fuck it. I'm not in the mood. I just wanna chat with my bro."

After a few beers

Brett:"Shut up, you did not!"

Trent:"I swear. She came on to me without a word."

Brett:"So what did you do?"

Trent:"You think I put up a fight? Haha"

Brett:"Maaaan. I want this stuff to happen to me to. That's so hot"

Trent:"Come with me to the gym then, I bet more chicks woukd be into you if you would gain some muscles"

Brett:"You calling me fat?"

Trent:"No, just saying that all that body hair would be good to match with a good body. You're just a walking gorilla right now"

Brett:"Oh shut up twink! Haha"

They finished their drinks, said their goodbyes and went home.

Brett felt amazing. He really needed to get a beer with his best friend. He came back home, sat behind his computer and searched Dark web. He already knew what he was looking for. He wanted to mess with Trent. Just a another one of his pranks. All he needed was Trent's personal item. He found the body swapping website. He read the rules and conditions and filled out his and Trents name. The only next step he had to follow was to go to sleep. And so he did. Only taking off his shirt in the process and collapsing on the bed. Not even brushing his teeth

Brett woke up feeling better than ever. He was used to have a hangover by now, but today he felt great. He opened his eyes and immediately noticed the different sheets. He looked around. This is Trent's place.

Brett:"Trent?" he said, but he heard Trent's voice.

He turned around to get up

His body. He has a different body

Brett:"Holy shit. It worked" he said amused. He looked down at his now soft chest. He got up

Brett:"Oh wow. getting up is so different when you have these hard muscles"

He went to the nearest mirror. And there he was. Trent in his glory. Brett was so happy right now. His prank worked. He is now inside of his best friends body. And the pranks probably won't stop there. Now he can mess with him all he wants. But not now.

He looked from top to bottom how tall and slim his body was. "Almost no hair anywhere. Lucky guy"

He took Trent's phone and snapped a photo to send it to Trent in his body. He knew it would take a while for Trent to wake up so he proceeded in his exploration.

He felt his curly hair. "How come you don't even have widow's peak? So unfair" He traced his jawline, now with tiny baby hair that Brett wouldn't even call a beard. But his sight was now caught by those nice Calvin Klein's. He looked around as if there was someone in the room with him who would judge him. He pulled on the waistband

Brett:"Just as I thought. Also shaved" he grabbed his new dick, that was getting harder and harder by the second, when suddenly his phone received a notification. he let go of his dick

It was Trent. Brett:"Haha, this is gonna be good"

There was a photo of Brett's body, observing his hairy armpits in shock

Trent in Brett's body:"Hey. Got any idea why I am a gorilla now? And why that gorilla looks exactly like you?"

Brett:"Surpriseee. And fuck you"

Trent:"So this is your doing?"

Brett:"Yeah, I kinda wanted to prank you somehow for all the pranks and the gorilla jokes. Joke's on you ape man"

Trent:"Fuck you. So this is reversible?"

Brett:"Sure, man. No worries. We'll meet tonight at the bar again and chat how our day went?"

Trent:"I don't know how to feel about this, bro"

Brett:"Just try enjoying being another person"

Trent:"Do you realise there are some no go things including intimate stuff and hygiene?"

Brett:"Sure I do. I'm already holding your dick in YOUR hands right now"

Trent:"Dude! Not cool. I meant more stuff like shitting etc. But yeah, this too."

Brett:"I gotta say Trent. You have a very nice dick"

Trent:"I'll comment on your size when I find it in the bushes I guess. Have you never heard of trimming?"

Brett:"Keeping it natural, baby face"

Trent:"Fine, let's see each other tonight at 8, ok?"

Brett:"Enjoyyy" Hangs up

Trent:"Jesus, this guy. I hope he doesn't fuck up something or someone"

Starts observing himself. "I must say, It feels good to look like a mature man and not a teenager. All of this hair. And the moustache is hot too. I could never grow this thing"

Trent looked down and had a mischievous thought. "Well, Brett. Since you have already held my dick, I think it's time to step it up. Gonna see if you can last longer than I do" Trent said with a smile and whipped out his new hard hairy dick

Saturday August the 3rd, bar, 8:04 PM

Brett is sitting amused in the bar, eating chips on the table and drinking beer. Winking at the ladies looking at his direction.

A waitress came by his table:"Want another?"

Brett noticed his old incoming body:"Sure, and another one for my friend who just arrived. Thank you, sweetheart" he said as his flirtatious look almost seduced the local waitress

Trent:"You need to stop!"

Brett:"What? I was just flirting"

Trent:"Not that. Stop eating those chips. God knows how many calories you ate already"

Brett:"So you don't mind that I was flirting with her?"

Trent:"Nah, I don't care. I jerked off your dick for like the fifth time half an hour ago"

Brett:"What? You beast. I would have never expected that. Cool. You have a really good dick to jerk off too. I didn't expect to shoot so far tho. Made a bit of a mess"

A couple off bikers started eavesdropping to their conversation and turning heads

Trent:"You might want to quiet down, or we're gonna get beaten up for mistakenly speaking like gay guys"

Brett:"But you gotta admit that my body is not so bad, right? All the hair and everything. You like it"

Trent:"It's not bad, but I prefer being in my own body. I'm used to it."

Brett:"Ok, I'll pretend I didn't hear the part before about masturbation. But what do you say? We didn't even have enough time to see what the life is like in our new bodies. It's only been a day"

Trent:"And your point is?"

Brett:"Let's stay swapped for a while. We can swap back anytime we want. It's reversible. We know almost everything about each other, so pretending to be the other one will be easy. You'll just teach me your workout routine, I'll show you... what games to play and how to set up a livestream and we'll figure it out"

Trent:"Livestream? That's all you got?"

Brett:"Come on, man. We got nothing to loose"

Trent:"I don't know man. It's gonna be complicated. I agreed to leave for a few weeks to work at one of our gym branches in another city. And now you'll be the one that has to go. I think now is not the best time"

Brett:"So? I can update you about everything. We can chat all the time. We can call. And I got nothing to do. Actually, you might need to find some job for those few weeks. And there's never gonna be a better time then now. We're single, ready to mingle. So let's enjoy that month"

Trent:"You wanna stay swapped the whole tíme I'm gone?"

Brett:"Yeah, I'll be a fitness instructor/viral star and you'll ne enjoying my chill life"

Trent:"Chill life. Man, you won't even recognise your life when we'll swap back"

Brett:"So you agree?"

Trent:"Yeah, what the hell. I'll be a gorilla for a month"

Brett:"Deal. Now, let's see if you'll have a better game in finding a hookup then me"

Sunday, August 4th

Brett sends a text to Trent:"Why do I feel like my body still hasn't gone through puberty?"

Trent:"Piss off. Yours looks like it went trough yours several times."

Brett:"Nah, gotta be honest. I'm really enjoying this lean figure and hairless body"

Trent:"And my dick..."

Brett:"Haha, yeah and your dick. How are you doing in my body?"

Trent:"Feels pretty weird to be so hairy, but gotta admit it's a nice change. Like... feeling so manly"

Brett:"Yeah, but tip for that hairy stomach. Don't cum on it. It's really irritating to get cum from it"

Trent:"Never had the issue in my body, so yeah. Thanks for the tip"

Brett:"No problem. I had to try it out in yours haha"

Trent:"Doesn't this feel kinda gay to you? All the dick and jerk off talk. Appreciating each other's bodies"

Brett:"Nah. We're exploring, man. Who knows if we ever get that chance. Gotta enjoy it"

Wednesday August 7th

Trent:"How are you settling in?"

Brett:"Yeah. Pretty great. I just jerked off to some porn"

Trent:"Ew. I mean the appartement"

Brett:"Whooops. Sorry. Right. Yeah it's nice. Very clean. Very modern"

Trent:"It's yours only for a month so don't destroy anything there"

Brett:"It's kinda poetic right. New appartement, new body, new job"

Trent:"I don't see anything poetic about me playing games in front of a camera"

Brett;"Dude you have to. My fans are gonna wonder what happened to me"

Trent:"Fine. I'll log in tonight. By the way. Dude your feet smell so much when you work out."

Brett:"Work out? You took my body to the gym?

Trent:"Yeah. I had to show off these bushes somewhere, right?"

Brett:"Ahhh thanks man. Looking good"

Trent:"And I think oke girl was checking you... me out"

Brett:"If you can score than go for it. I'm actually late for a date. Or... how do you call it if you're just gonna have dinner and fuck?"

Trent:"Standard hook up man. Please be safe. Wear a condom. And watch our foe those carbs, man."

Brett:"Sure thing, bye"

Monday, August 12 th

Brett:"Dude do you like ever have to shave your face?"

Trent:"Sure I do. I just don't have to do it so often as you. Btw can I please shave off this moustache?"

Brett:"Absolutely not. You'll learn to love it and appreciate it. Just like I will your baby face"

Saturday, August 17th

Brett:"I have to admit I really love showing off your muscles man. I have been doing it constantly at every occassion. So many people turn their heads to take a peak"

Trent:"Yeah I get it. It helps with the confidence a bit"

Brett:"A bit? I feel like I can beat any fucker whk crosses me"

Trent:"Brett, please don't beat anyone in my body"

Brett:"Just kidding, man. How have you been"

Trent:"Well I tried being consistent with the gym. I think your body is doing pretty well"

Brett:"Daaaamn bro. I look good. You really do take care of my body really well"

Trent:"I was actually thinking I could offer this for money. Swapping with people, doing their routines and then swap back. But that's a talk for another time after we swap back"

Brett:"Yeha, sure. Cool idea. Anyway... how was the streaming?"

Trent:"I don't know, man. I think they are desperste for me to say your catchphrases, but they are so cringe."

Brett:"Nah, you have to do that. That's how you get into Tiktoks and become viral"

Trent:"Honestly. I can't wait to get back to my body and to my life back. So we will swap on September 2nd?

Brett:"Yeah. I suppose. Depends how the work will be etc. Anyway I gotta go man. Talk soon"

Trent to himself:"It feels like he's avoiding me with amswering more and more. Trent rubbed his hairy chest, recalling his sweet soft pecs that he missed.

Thursday, August 22nd

Trent:"Hey, man. How is it going?"

Friday, August 23rd

Trent:"Hey. I just wanna know if you're ok. I just wanna talk about the reversal."

Saturday:"please call me back as soon as possible"

Sunday, August 25th

Brett:"I'm ok"

Trent:"What the hell happened?"

Brett:"Nothing I just felt like I needed a break from phone and that stuff"

Trent:"Brett you didn't answer the phone for 4 days"

Brett:"Ok, I was avoiding you, cause I kinda fucked up and was afraid to tell you"

Trent:'What did you do? Is my body ok?"

Brett:"Yeah your body is unharmed. Nothing that bad. We just had a party in the appartement. Broke the TV and... I had unprotected sex with one girl. She didn't know if she was pregnant or not. So I was waiting. And congrats. You're not gonna be a dad"

Trent:"Brett..."

Brett:"I know. I'm so sorry. Won't happen again. Promise. I just got drunk once and it led to this. I'll be good now"

Trent:"Please, don't do anything anymore. I want to switch back"

Brett:"Nah man. We still gotta week to finish. You said until September 2nd."

Trent:"I didn't know you'd do something like this"

Brett:"Please Trent. I'm begging you. Just that one week"

Trent:"Fine. But don't do anything else!"

Sunday, September 1st

Brett:"Hey. Are you packed yet?"

Trent:"Hey. Not really. I planned on packing tommorow. You can come and help if you got time"

Brett:"Sure. I'll come by"

Monday, September 2nd

Trent arrives to the appartement. Brett is on the couch playing video games

The TV is new and there is a PlayStation on the table

Trent:"You didn't tell me you got back into gaming and that you bought all this."

Brett:"Yeha, I missed it. I thought to myself that you'd like it too. So I bought it. By the way. You should see how the fans dig it"

Trent:"Fans? You're live streaming in my body?"

Brett:"Yeah. The gamers are so into it when I'm flexing in the spare time. I even got a viral Tiktok already!"

Trent:"I think we should swap back, Brett. My life is out of your control now."

Brett:"I'm just using all the goods, man. You don't like my body anymore?"

Trent:"Stop changing the subject. I want to swap back"

Brett:"Ok... but on one condition"

Trent:"You want money?"

Brett;"Nah I want to have sex with my body. I want to have sex with you."

Trent:"You have lost your mind"

Brett:"Oh come on. Admit it, that you thought about it. Who gets the chance to fuck their body? To watch their body in the most animalistic moments from somebody else eyes?" Brett flexes his biceps to let Brett watch

Trent:"Brett..."

Brett stands up and goes towards Trent

Brett:"You know you want to kids thus face. To suck this hard dick" he says holding tightly his hardening bulge

Trent:"I... I do. I want to suck my dick"

Brett:"Atta boy"

They begin making out. The fast movements heading towards the bedroom could be described as chaotic, but for them it was a dance of passion. Brett was ripping his old clothes from his old body was all over his body, kissing his neck. Sucking each part of his skin

The kissed even more

Brett began to be more dominant. He gripped Trent's now receding hairline and pushed him down to suck his dick. Trent was choking. But did his best to swallow most of the shaft he now had. He had his dick in his mouth. He couldn't believe it. He is straight and he is sure of that. But this is absolutely different

Brett took his old body by the neck, choking him. "Say you love being in my body"

Trent:"Brett I can't breathe"

Brett:"Fine, let's do this the hard way"

He turned him around. Trent now on all fours. He knew what was coming, but he wasn't ready

Brett spit in his hand and spread it all over the head od his dick. Ready to penetrate his old hairy hole

Trent:"Brett wait... I... Ahhhhhhhh". Trent screamed in pain

Brett:"Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm just so horny. I love your body, Trent. I love every inch od it. Admit you like mine"

Trent:"Brett, please slow down"

Brett:"Naaah, you'll get used to it in a sex"

Trent:"Please, get lube or something"

Brett spit again to where his dick was penetrating Trent's ass. Brett:"Should do it"

Trent was still in pain, but now a new feeling was making him feel better. The pain was now... pleasant? He wanted to feel more. With every thrust from Brett. He felt like shitting himself and cumming at the same time

Brett:"Admit it. Admit you love being in my body" he sped up. Thrusting painfully.

Trent:"Yeah.... yes..."

Brett:"Louder"

Trent:"I do... I love your body. I love being you"

Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm gonna cum. Turn around. I want to cum on your chest"

Trent turned around. He could feel cum leaking from his dick. And now he saw his old face like he never did before. Brett was so into it. His face was full of lust, rage and mischief.

Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm cumming!"

The cum shot all over Trent. Not only on his chest, but also on his mouth and face

Trent watched in awe what just happened.

Brett:"Whew. That was a ride wasn't it? First gay sex. Am I right?"

Trent:"Brett... I?"

Brett:"Oh sorry. I have to catch my breath. You look so funny with my cum all over you. Haha. By the way. I'm glad you love your new body. You get to keep it"

Trent:"Brett, you said we would swap"

Brett:"Yeah I did. That's true. But after this little 'cum over your face' and 'dick in your ass' we made it permanent"

Trent watched in shock as his old body was still standing on top of him. Breathing rapidly and laughing.

Several months later

Hi my name is Brett. Welcome to my only fans channel. If you got any hairy request, hit me up

Brett in Trent's body:"Well this is just pathetic. Man, I knew you'd crumble. But this just seems you lost your mind"

Trent's massive colleague came next to him:"Hey, bro. What are you looking at?"

Brett:"Just looking how one of my friends threw away their life, kinda sad. But whatever. Their life, not mine"

Friend:"Hey, wanna grab a beer later this evening?"

Brett scanned his friend from top to bottom and smiled:"Sure thing. Be there at eight"

Brett thought about switching it up a little. That body would be amazing. But then he turned around and looked at himself in the mirror. And flexed

Brett:"Nah. I'm Trent. And I'm keeping this body"

A request from messages (another one who waited for a LONG time, sorry guys) for @swappwas

Hope you like it :)

P.S. written late at night on a phone with a very irritating autocorrect, so please excuse the mistakes

[ateezscupid]

can u write a fic where san is a mean dom? i have this thing for calling him sannie bc its cute! and i think it would be hot if he mocked yn calling him that and it was kinda centered around humiliation!!! i love ur writing sm id love to see this done in ur style <333 i hope this doesnt make u uncomfy to write!! ):

- 🕸️

hello hello! i’m getting to this after a very long time, my apologies but i’ve been WAITING for someone to request mean dom!san. he’s been in my mind for a few weeks but i’ve had writers block and could never figure out how to write it out, so thank you for this.

and don’t worry about anything making me uncomfortable! a lot of things, i don’t have a problem writing. i plan to make a really detailed post about my rules and things like that soon so you guys know what i do and don’t write!

anyway, let me stop blabbing. enjoy!

��𝗠𝗬 𝗚𝗜𝗥𝗟 ⋆ 𝖼.𝗌𝗇 𝗑 𝖿!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗭 𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 / 𝗥𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧

plot - san always gets flustered when you call him sannie during sex, but he loves it just as much as you do.

warn - kinda smut w/o plot, dom!san, unprotected sex, rough sex, pet names (baby, princess, pretty, etc.), choking, begging, degrading, humiliation

w/c - n/a

𝗧𝗔𝗚S - @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @starillusion13 @mingitheskzstan

you didn’t think today could’ve gotten any worse. you were teasing san the entire day trying to imply you needed him without actually saying it, but he clearly wasn’t catching the signals you sent. he was so busy with work, he couldn’t spare at least ten minutes for you.

you didn’t want to tease him so much that he’d be annoyed of you and he’d stop talking to you for the rest of the night, but you needed him. it’s been a while since the last time you two were together in bed. all you’ve been thinking about for the past week is how his hands would feel on your body; his hands squeezing your breasts and caressing your skin. rubbing the pads of his fingers on your clit and messing with the sensitive little bud that was there.

if anyone had asked you how badly you wanted to spend at least one night with him, you’d ramble on and on about it. you rambled about it to wooyoung the night before and it was clear he didn’t want to listen to your horny problems.

“distract him while he’s working!” is the advice he gave you, and boy, he couldn’t have been more wrong.

now you were face down in the bed with your arms pinned behind you, your makeup smudging on the pillow and your entire body shaking uncontrollably. you thought distracting him would make him realize what he was missing out on, but you did it at the worst moment.

it was embarrassing to say the least. san was in his office having a meeting, and you had the crazy idea to walk inside with nothing but a lingerie on. you’ve been wanting to wear it for a while, so what harm was there to wear it while he was having a business meeting? it was a harmless idea, and hic co-workers wouldn’t have seen you since you planned to go underneath the table. but you messed up.

while you were busy unbuckling his pants, neither of you noticed the top of your head was visible at the bottom of his computer screen. that meant everyone in the call saw yo ur head, and only one thing came to mind. when it was brought to his attention, he excused himself then turned his mic and camera off. you knew a punishment was coming your way when that happened.

he dragged you out of the office without saying anything and threw you on the bed, ripped the lingerie off your body without hesitation, and pounded into you like there was no tomorrow. there was so much going on in your mind, like would his co-workers think you were some sex crazed lunatic? or would they think of him as someone addicted to sex? unprofessional? there wasn’t any room for you to feel bad when you felt too good to remember what happened.

“this is what you wanted, right?” san growled as he pushed your head into the pillow, using his unoccupied hand to land hits against your ass whenever he felt like it. “you wanted to be treated like a slut, now you are, you little whore.”

no words could come out of you. just a bunch of incoherent babbles spilling from your swollen lips and tears falling down your cheeks. you loved when he was so angry all he could do was fuck the lights out of you. you loved him being rough and treating you like a rag doll. it was impossible for you to get over how easily he went inside you and how much he stretched you out. it felt like heaven.

“s-sannie~!” you whine into the pillow, hands curling into fists behind you. “f-fuck, s’good… y-yes!”

“don’t call me that.” he smacked your ass once more and thrusted harder. he was lucky you were facing away from him otherwise you’d see the visible red tint on his cheeks. he liked when you called him sannie, but now wasn’t the time. at least that’s what he told himself.

“such a little whore for me, hm?” he grunts, leaning down and biting your ear gently. “you wanted to mess with me during my meeting and now everyone saw how much of a dirty girl you are~. you wanted attention so bad but ended up embarrassing yourself in front of everyone.”

“i-i—,” even your attempts at forming full sentences failed.

“aw, is it too much?” he whispered in your ear. “you like it when i fuck you like this, huh? such a fucking whore.”

“sannie, p-please i-i can’t—,”

“sannie blah blah blah!” he rolled his eyes and basically forced you to arch your back. “i said not to call me that, and now you’re not listening? you wanna be bad now?”

“s-sa—,” you weren’t even allowed to finish your sentence. the minute you tried to speak, his hand was wrapped around your neck and gripping so hard, it felt like you couldn’t breathe. you loved every bit of it.

“pl-please—!” you whine. “l-let—“

“let you what? cum? after you were being disobedient?” he kissed your temple, groaning softly and letting go of your arms and planting his hand on the bed. “fuck, you feel so good.”

you opened your mouth to speak, which triggered san to tighten his grip around your throat. it was almost too much.

“call me sannie again, i dare you.” the tone in his voice was enough to let you know he wasn’t joking around, but the urge to be a brat was weighing on you.

“s…” you bit your lip. “s-sannieee!”

he didn’t say anything. he took his hand away from your throat and lifted you up by the shoulders, wrapping one arm around you and using his other hand to rub rough circles around your clit.

“you wanna be a whore? i’ll treat you like one.”

[threepandas]

Bad End: Restructuring

The blast doors on my office were stronger then the ones on most bunkers. They matched the one's on the company dorms AND my personal rooms. Thing is? They weren't designed to hold out forever. In fact, I was pretty sure they were a pretty bit of security theater, just to let us fleshys feel safe.

We weren't.

Not a single moment of a single day.

The pay was unmatched. But then again, it'd HAVE to be, with the mortality rate. The morbidity rate on top, too. You didn't take a job like this unless you were crazy. Or, you know, desperate. College loans, man. They get you over a barrel and don't let up. But a few years of this? I'd be clear an free~

Few MORE years? I'd ever have a tasty little nest egg to fall back on, in case of emergencies. I just... you know, had to play it smart. Be really, REALLY careful.

No slacking off. No getting comfortable. Vigilance and best manners. Then we all get to go home alive. Because what's out there? In the Labs? Those guys can pop diamonds like we crush packing peanuts. Highest grade, fancy ass, metal bars of specialty blend metals? Tied up in pretty little bows.

They may LOOK like some sort of waifish boy band... but God, they are NOT. They are really, REALLY not. And their "personality" matrix program thingies? Apparently still a work in progress. A LONG work in progress.

People have fucking DIED.

But does management care? Of course not. Pay out some life insurance. "It was an accident on the job". And "of COURSE steps will be taken to insure to never happens again". Ha! My ass, it is. And my ass, they are. They aren't doing SHIT. Nor are they GOING too. They're in too deep with this project, whatever it is. And us?

Well WE'RE expendable.

Just the cost of doing business.

I watch bleeding edge technology move like dancers, room to room. The wall of screen lighting up my cramped little office. The mini-fridge hums and the fan whirrs, filling the silence. I try to spot FM-036 on one of the screens. I can't find him and it makes me nervous.

He might be hiding. Trying to be polite, in his own way. Since there was an incident.

I FUCKING TOLD Ric not to call them "it"! I TOLD him! It aggravates them. Provokes. You don't DO that with something... some ONE, with that much physical power. 36 put their fist through his SHOULDER. And the God damned wall! He might LOSE his arm, which? Given their ability to calculate better then most supercomputers?

Was probably the point.

I notice one of the androids messing with a computer in a lab. Fuck. I lean forward, hating drawing their attention but knowing I have to do my damn job. I press on the speaker system for that room after a quick glance at the ID on their jumpsuit.

"FM-047, could you please not touch that? I know you are aware that you are not supposed to tamper, meddle, or otherwise engage with the researchers notes or electronics."

The android stop typing. Their head rolling up and to the side to look directly at the camera, their body perfectly still. The angle borders on impossible. Almost owlish, nearly snake like. All perfectly smooth movements effortlessly controlled. Joint not limited by human designs. His face is bemused. Pleasant.

"Of course, night gaurd. My mistake. Thank you for correcting me." He replies, something almost like laughter, nearly like mocking, but not quite, in his smooth voice. They always sound like they are... HUMORING us. Working around us.

It sends a jolt of cold fear though my veins.

I... I REALLY hate talking to the androids.

Pity, they seem to like talking to ME.

"I was unaware you were on shift tonight. I will update the others. It's good to hear your voice again, you seemed nervous, last time we spoke."

Yeah. Because you were asking PERSONAL QUESTIONS. Oh, sure, they had dressed them up as "We're so CURIOUS about Humans~☆" but I wasn't an IDIOT. You Did NOT, under ANY circumstances, try to bond with the machines. NO chatting. That was lesson number one from my trainer.

And Frank? Frank had seen too many "but THIS time it's DIFFERENT! We're FWIENDS~!" Incidents end in unspeakable carnage. Lost too many noobies. We DO NOT chat! With the machines!!! DO. NOT.

"Ah~, you made her nervous again, FM-047" came from a different screen. I flinched. Jerked back so I could see it. Oh god. "Besides, I told you. The calculations showed she wasnt going anywhere. The 'money' is too good."

The androids had stopped. Turned, in some cases unnaturally, to stare up at the cameras. At me. It was a blatant show of how interconnected they were. How distance meant nothing to them. How... how enmeshed they were, in the Lab's systems.

COULD they see me?

I didn't want to know. I NEEDED not to know. If only so I could continue to sleep at night.

They smiled, clearly hoping I'd engage. I wanted to. God did I want too. Wanted to demand "what calculations" and for them to STOP looking at me like that. But I didn't. With tense muscles I careful lifted my finger from the speaker system's button and leaned back. Crossed my arms like I was hugging myself.

Do. Not. Engage.

Remember what Frank taught you.

My... my office felt so claustrophobic. Painfully small. Across the screens before me, matching faces huffed laughs of condescending amusement. Some out right DID laugh. Bright and mean noises that echoed in silence of the night.

Humans? Frank had observed (and I kinda had to agree) were beneath them, in their minds. Flawed little flesh creatures. Annoying. It was something the scientists were trying to correct. Pretty sure they fucked up. Badly. And long, long ago.

Watching over these guys? Felt like watching over a sea of identical demons. Pretty, cruel, and incapable of human understanding. Fond of tormenting the nearest human for sport.

"Tell us, night gaurd, are you afraid?"

Oh that's just PETTY. Fucking cliché as shit, too. I mean, YES, obviously. But STILL. And... and you know what? Fuck it! Frank, gave me his number for a reason! I scramble for my belt. The communicator there. It barely rings.

"Mph, m'awake! Wus happin' kid? Come on, talk to me."

I ramble. Knees dragged up on my chair, curled in a ball. Frank's low, old man, rumble a soothing focal point. These guys are so creepy. I HATE that they KNOW that. Gleefully will TRY to be, sometimes. Can BACK IT UP.

"Hey, hey. I'll stay on the line, okay? You just need to make it to morning shift. They're are creepy lil shits, but they can't get past the doors. I'll come get you myself, okay? Walk you right back to the dorms. You're going to be okay, sweetheart."

I nod, even though I know the old man can't see me. Manage to crackle out a "Mmmhmm". The androids haven't stopped staring. The worst part? Is they realistically DONT HAVE TOO. Can stay, perfectly still, like statues... forever, if they wish.

Watching.

With those "I'm laughing at you" grins. That "aaaw, how PATHETIC" expression. As though I were a wretched little animal to be observed. I ask Frank to tell me about his new show. It's... it's something about socialites, right? Historical? He's glad too. Filling my office with the sound of his voice. It's gonna be a long shift.

I don't notice, high up on the wall, near the back of my office?

A security camera that I do not control. It's red light on.

The company has to be sure it's employees aren't slacking, after all! Aren't up to no good! But don't worry, THAT camera is connect to a database the androids shouldn't be able to access! Because we told them not too.

And THAT'S IT.

No one will learn of the security breach until its far, far too late.

Now? They watch as I watch them.

And it's just the beginning.

[phantombanquet]

Main Story: Diasomnia Book Chapter 8 Episode 7-117: Preparation for Departure! (Translation)

Episode 7-117

⚠️ Major Diasomnia spoilers! Proceed with caution.

translation by: phantombanquet

Idia: MALLEUS-SHI, HUH~~~~! 

THIS GRUDGE… SHOULD I LEAVE IT UNSETTLED~~!! ¹

If that happens, that pretentious inexpressive² guy, who usually keeps up his strong chara moves up in his sleeves…..

I can't help but feel sorry for myself if I don't see his pathetic figure sobbing with a runny nose and begging for forgiveness!

Now, what should I do…… Heh… Ehehehehehe!

Ortho: W-What a malicious scheming face…

This… May have angered someone who shouldn't be angered~

Idia: Heheh…… I'll show you. The ultimate power of a lone wolf³ trained in the gloomy “underworld.”

Just you wait, Malleus Draconia……

I'LL GET REVENGE BY SEIZING YOUR SPECIAL WEAKNESS!!!

Ortho: ……That's all.

From the magical disaster caused by Malleus Draconia until the awakening of Idia Shroud. This concludes the progress report.

Grim: Oohh~~! While we were fightin’ over in Lilia's dream, that's what happened to you guys.

Silver: I see. So Idia-senpai and Ortho are outside of the magical realm. It means that there is support coming from the real world. 

Idia: Y-Yeah, t-that sort of thing…… Well, for now, we'll be playing a dummy video on the surveillance camera for a short while……

I can only do this much.

Sebek: So, even if you have woken up, Malleus-sama will fail to notice and the “darkness” will not attack you.

Ortho: Yes.. And like I said earlier, Malleus-san is currently……

Focused on putting Lilia Vanrouge-san to sleep. 

So, I expect that he has not traced down the whereabouts of Silver-san and the others.

Sebek: Hm. I honestly want to praise your skills, but it is quite complicated when you are outsmarting Malleus-sama……

Idia: Well, that other guy is a battleship-like⁴ cheater so… We're still far off from completely capturing him.

Silver: However… I had no idea that Malleus-sama continued to expand his magical realm beyond the island……

Sebek: Furthermore, if the area is forcibly destroyed from the  outside, there is a possibility that the trapped person's psyche could also become destroyed!?

Grim: Somehow it's a real mess for real.

[Choice 1] Yuu: Can we do something about this?

[Choice 2] Yuu: (If this continues on, Tsunotarou will become the enemy of mankind.) 

Ortho: Yes. That's why we need your power!

Silver: Our… Power?

Ortho: Currently, the S.T.Y.X. staff is working together to assign ID numbers to the dreams of those trapped in the magical realm. 

During that time, we captured your magical reaction as you “moved around on your own” in the dream.

Silver: Could it be that it was my “Meet in a Dream?”

It's my unique magic that allows me to cross between dreams……

Ortho: Yes! That one, that one!

When traces of someone moving from one human dream to another were discovered, the engineers at S.T.Y.X. were in a commotion.

So that was Silver-san's unique magic, after all. Magic is a really mysterious power, huh.

Silver: However, my magic is to reliably travel to the dream of the person I'm targeting after, like you guys. I can't call someone into my dream.

I don’t know what else to say; it's hard to explain… It's a very intuitive kind of magic……

That’s why I was really surprised when Ortho appeared in the Dream Corridor and led us here. 

Ortho: What are you saying?

S.T.Y.X. prides themselves on their super computers and experts in magical engineering and magical analysis. 

They tried their best to analyze magic and they finally found a way to travel from dream to dream. 

Moreover, it is difficult to say that the current method is 100% reproducible so they said: “it's still a beta version.”

The mere fact that you can do it intuitively is astonishing.

Sebek: Hm. So the “power” that you need is Silver's unique magic?

Ortho: That's a part of it, too, but…

Sebek Zigvolt-san, Grim-san, and Yuu-san, your cooperation is essential.

Grim: Hmph! You're just trying to make us do the messy work, aren't ya!

Ortho: Wow♡ Grim-san, you talk too fast. 

[Choice 1] Yuu: This pattern is similar to the headmage……

[Choice 2] Yuu: I don't see any other reason to  be called out……

Sebek: Hmph, I don't like this sluggishness. Get to the point!!

Idia: S-So, uhhh……. While you guys were chattering in Lilia-shi's dream..

I-I was trying to think of a way to escape from my dream world……

Or rather, I've been trying to come up with a strategy to deal with Malleus-shi.

[Choice 1] Yuu: Is your strategy to get him to cry and beg for forgiveness while his nose is runny?

[Choice 2] Yuu: Is it a strategy to take revenge by capturing their special weakness?

Idia: Y-Yeah. That… Hih, hihi.

Anyhow, I made a video to explain that strategy…… W-Would you like to watch it?

Grim, Silver, Sebek: Video?

Idia: Waah~♪ Only good things have been happening lately~ It's so fun every day~ It's just like a dream~♬ Well. It was, in fact, really just a dream. Welcome, all you carefree people who live in the world of empty dreams. I am Idia Shroud. So for today, a cheat trick to create a dream world using magic — — was used by The Most Evil☆Final Boss Mage. Let me explain the strategy used by Malleus-shi. The magical realm that Malleus-shi created is kinda like a server running a huge MMORPG. And each dream of someone sleeping is managed individually. Malleus-shi is using himself and his alter ego to keep an eye on this server. To give you an idea, Malleus-shi is a server admin. And his alter ego is cracking down on users to commit violations in the online game — like a gamemaster. Malleus-shi, with the authority to operate and manage over the entire server, is currently in the state of a demon king who has the world right under his thumb.

Under Malleus-shi's control, we have NO chance of succeeding…… BUT! Because of the super geek hacker group S.T.Y.X. and Ortho's attack, all of the server's source code (construction formulas of the magical realm) has been analyzed and is now completely visible!

So — I'm going to use that data from my dream to develop and build a cheat tool. And then get rid of that damned invulnerable status! It seems like a perfect strategy at first glance, but in fact, there’s actually a flaw in this cheat strategy……. If Malleus-shi (the server admin) discovers this during development— IT'S GAME OVER IN AN INSTANT. But hold your horses! Despite that his alter ego uses autonomous magic, with the total population of Sage Island, monitoring and managing the dreams of about 20,000 people is not an easy task — even for Malleus-shi. If a problem happens here and there in your dream, there's a high chance that you'll have to deal with it by yourself! Therefore — I’ll be developing a cheat tool. I want you guys to catch Malleus-shi's eye and gather party members so we can subdue the demon king.

When everyone wakes up, we'll hand out invite codes that will allow them to travel to my dream.

Then, when all the preparations are ready, Malleus-shi will be lured to my dream and that's when the cheat tool that I developed turns on!! As planned, Malleus-shi's invulnerability will be canceled. And by using the invite codes that were diligently handed out, everyone will gather in my dream! We're going to beat him up with our sheer numbers of forces!

If things go as expected, Malleus-shi will also lift the spell and free us—! How was it!? “A lone wolf magician engineering guy explains how to capture the demon king in three minutes video.” If you think this video was good, leave a like! And this was Idia Shroud.

Grim, Silver, Sebek: ............

Idia: Ummm, e-everyone… Thank you for your attention. ⁵

Th-that’s why……

I ask you guys to go on a journey to gather “the strongest party members who will take on the challenge of defeating the demon king!”

Grim, Silver, Sebek: EHHHHH~~~!?

TO BE CONTINUED...

translator notes:

¹ - 「この怨はらさでおくべきか」 is an old Kansai (Osaka) dialect phrase. This phrase, although it seems like one will forever hold a grudge, actually means something along the lines of: “Shall I leave this grudge unresolved? (No, I actually have to solve this),” due to how the phrase is structured (which would be too deep to delve into but it’s mainly because of the か and べき/べし in the phrase).

² - 「スカしま」 is a Japanese slang usually used as an insult

³ - 「陰キャ」 is yet another Japanese slang used to describe someone with a gloomy or reserved personality or introverts. I used a known English slang instead of translating literally to preserve the meaning of the word.

⁴ - 「弩級 (どきゅう)」 is the Japanese translation of “Dreadnought,” which is a type of battleship in the early 20th century. Idia was just being a nerd again by using game-like terms so I decided to stick with using “battleship” instead of the literal translation.

⁵ - I wanted to note that Idia addressed them as 「皆様」which is a polite way of addressing others due to the inclusion of 様 (sama). Also, the “thank you for your attention” line was written as 「ご清聴アリガトウゴザイマシタ」 in the text instead of the usual 「ご清聴ありがとうございました」 which I think it's just to note Idia's personality www.

personal notes: this wasn't jp proofread so there might be inaccuracies;;; additionally aniplex jp actually posted the "how to subjugate the demon king" video but it's only available in japan.. you can still access it by using a vpn though~

[alyss-erulisse]

Morph Madness!

Fixing Exploding Morphs

Marik's Egyptian Choker is currently in production. It is the first accessory I've made that involves assignment to more than one bone and morphs for fat, fit and thin states. So there is a learning curve, and it is during that learning curve that interesting and unexpected things can happen.

As with my other content, I'm making the choker fit sims of all ages and genders--that's 8 different bodies.

Adding fat, fit and thin morphs multiples this number to 27 different bodies.

I'm also making 3 levels of detail for each of these. The number comes to 81 different bodies, 81 different bodies for which I need to tightly fit a cylinder around the neck and avoid clipping.

That's a lot of work. I can see why most custom content creators stick with one age, gender and detail level. At least, they did in the past. Our tools are getting better day by day, and that may partly be because of creative, ambitious and somewhat obsessive people like me.

There are usually multiple ways to solve the same problem. Some ways are faster than others. This I've learned from working in Blender3D. You can navigate to a button with your mouse or hit the keyboard shortcut. You can use proportional editing to fiddle around with a mesh or you can use a combination of modifiers.

If I am going to be creating 81 chokers, I don't want to be fiddling around on each one of them for an hour. I need something automated, repeatable and non-destructive so I can make adjustments later without having to start over from the beginning. I need to work smart rather than just work hard.

This is where modifiers and geometry nodes come in. After you develop a stack to work with one body, the same process pretty much works for the others as well. That is how it became easier for me to model each of the 81 chokers from scratch rather than to use proportional editing to fit a copy from one body to the next.

But I was about to confront an explosive problem…

Anyone who has worked with morphs before probably knows where this story is headed. There is a good reason to copy the base mesh and then use proportional editing to refit it to the fat, fit and thin bodies. That reason has to do with vertex index numbers.

You see, every vertex in your mesh has a number assigned to it so that the computer can keep track of it. Normally, the order of these numbers doesn't really matter much. I had never even thought about them before I loaded my base mesh and morphs into TSRW, touched those sliders to drag between morph states, and watched my mesh disintegrate into a mess of jagged, black fangs.

A morph is made up of directions for each vertex in a mesh on where to go if the sim is fat or thin or fit. The vertex index number determines which vertex gets which set of directions. If the vertices of your base mesh are numbered differently than the vertices of your morph, the wrong directions are sent to the vertices, and they end up going everywhere but the right places.

It is morph madness!

When a base mesh is copied and then the vertices are just nudged around with proportional editing, the numbering remains the same. When you make each morph from scratch, the numbering varies widely.

How, then, could I get each one of those 81 meshes to be numbered in exactly the same way?

Their structures and UV maps were the same, but their size and proportions varied a lot from body to body. Furthermore, I'd used the Edge Split modifier to sharpen edges, which results in disconnected geometry and double vertices.

Sorting the elements with native functions did not yield uniform results because of the varying proportions.

The Blender Add-On by bartoszstyperek called Copy Verts Ids presented a possible solution, but it was bewildered by the disconnected geometry and gave unpredictable results.

Fix your SHAPE KEYS! - Blender 2.8 tutorial by Danny Mac 3D

I had an idea of how I wanted the vertices to be numbered, ascending along one edge ring at a time, but short of selecting one vertex at a time and sending it to the end of the stack with the native Sort Elements > Selected function, there was no way to do this.

Of course, selecting 27,216 vertices one-at-a-time was even more unacceptable to me than the idea of fiddling with 81 meshes in proportional editing mode.

So… I decided to learn how to script an Add-On for Blender and create the tool I needed myself.

A week and 447 polished lines of code later, I had this satisfying button to press that would fix my problem.

Here are the index numbers before and after pressing that wonderful button.

My morphs are not exploding anymore, and I am so happy I didn't give up on this project or give myself carpal tunnel syndrome with hours of fiddling.

Marik's Egyptian Choker is coming along nicely now. I haven't avoided fiddling entirely, but now it only involves resizing to fix clipping issues during animation.

Unfortunately, I'll have to push the release date to next month, but now, I have developed my first Blender Add-On and maybe, after a bit more testing, it could be as useful to other creators in the community as its been to me.

Looking for more info about morphing problems? See this post.

See more of my work: Check out my archive.

Join me on my journey: Follow me on tumblr.

Support my creative life: Buy me a coffee on KoFi.

[sunnynoki]

We don’t talk a lot - We haven’t talked in probably about a year or so now, since I left the fandom space we met in. I’ve changed usernames since then - I went by Wheat on discord. Sorry I’ve been so distant. I never knew how to talk to you since it’s been a while.

Even still, I want to tell you that you were important to me, and still are. I wish we could talk more. I want to talk about your new interests. What are you into these days? I’ve been getting into some older games these days, but I’ve been missing pokemon a bit. I want to get back into it. Do you still draw Sky? I never asked you about them with as much detail as I wanted to. I was always worried about being too intrusive, but I regret that now. Your OCs are really imaginative. I know you’re into tensura now, right? Season 3 is coming out soon. I’m excited for that.

I want to get to know you again. I don’t know what happened with whatever you left behind, and I don’t know if this is a weird message to send, but you’re important to me and I want to let you know that you are. I wouldn’t be who I am if you weren’t there in the beginning. Thank you for being you.

i dont know how to talk either. every sentence i say either feels fake or self centered, selfish. and dont worry about being distant; it happens, especially when interests change. i dont blame you.

youre important to me too. i wish we could talk more. im not into much right now. i just feel empty. i gave up su/bmas, after everything. it was too much, not knowing who i could trust not to fucking ship them, or think its ok in any circumstance. yet sometimes i still crawl back to the tag, despite blocking it a while ago. i dont touch anything though, just look. it doesnt bring me joy anymore. i think im finally letting it go. i dont know how i feel about po/kemon yet. its kinda just. there. maybe im just feeling particularly apathetic right now.

i don't really draw anything right now. i dont know if i can go back. it was my only hobby, yet my therapist said that it wasnt enough, even when i was at my lowest. well, at the time. ive set a new low score at this point. i dont want to draw. i don't know what id draw. i dont think i can. my computer is kinda a no mans land at this point. i don't really touch it anymore. im glad you liked sky though. i never understood why she garnered so much attention. i could never write a good enough character for her. she was a mary sue in that way, with no real character flaws, let alone the... everything else. either way, like i said, im glad you liked her regardless. it means a lot. the attention i got because of her made me really happy.

like i said, im not really into anything right now, but i guess tensura would be regarded as an "interest." im... looking forward to season 3. i read one of the light novels thats going to be adapted a month or two back though, so i guess its gonna be a moment before i get to "new" content.

i dont know if theres anyone to get to know anymore. i was already in a depressive episode before this disaster, now i dont know if theres any going back, if theres any way to recover. it isnt a weird message to send, and its appreciated that you care for me but. im not sure if i can trust anyone again. im not sure if i can even trust myself. even in the aftermath, the people i thought i could trust either no longer talk to me or still interact with those who hurt me. i guess its selfish to ask them to cut off those friends too. but ive always been selfish. self centered. egotistical.

regardless, im glad i had some positive impact despite my mess of a personality. thank you for your words

[sarndonic]

My ramblings on RE: Death Island

Y'all RE: Death Island opened in PH cinemas today and here are my thoughts on some of the scenes. Leaks have been going around on TW since this morning, so I'm dividing my ramblings into four sections.

WARNING: HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD

Can confirm:

-Definitely Jill's time to shine. Everyone was like..."If there's Jill, there's hope..."

-She even has a big ass plasma rifle scene (probably a tribute to re3r)

-Movie more or less confirms that Jill has met Leon and Claire before. Their first scenes with Jill were like "hey, how's it going?" situations.

-Chris and Claire sibling interactions! We haven't been blessed with those since Code Veronica, nice.

Want to clear out:

-Pertaining to an early leak which caused quite a ruckus on TW: Maria was climbing over Leon like a koala to a tree during their fight scenes, but never once did he flirt with her or anyone else for that matter. He even called Maria "Arias' bitch" who could finally be with her Dad again after she died by Leon's hands. Kinda brutal coming from Leon if you ask me.

-This Leon came in with a luggage-ful of cringey but kinda funny one-liners. He reminds me of Damnation!Leon and I didn't sense any undertones of depression in him! Though he still hates his job (he refers to it as just a "living"), Leon seems to be in a much better place this time around. This scene literally happened:

Leon blurts out a one liner

Jill musters up an Oscar-worthy "Ugh...really?" reaction

Jill, probably:

Want to add:

-Movie was about how people respond to trauma differently. Dylan practically experienced the same sh*t as the main cast in RC, but he had chosen to side with the villains.

-Really nice to see this new model of Leon in action, doing re4r-esque stunts. That was kinda missing in ID, tbh. Also Leon and bikes look hot together, but can never be good news.

-Other character relationships in a nutshell, for those who are interested.

Jill and Leon -> This was definitely their buddy cop movie. I know people like to bully Leon for being "dumb" or for whatever reason, but Jill clearly respects his skills the same way Leon respects hers.

Jill and Chris -> Movie makes it clear that Chris absolutely cares about Jill. You can interpret it as both platonic and romantic (not very much so on the latter, though). I love Chris' "Welcome back!" line to Jill in the end and their little fist bump.

Chris and Leon -> I'd say they're like old co-workers who definitely know how to defeat BOWs. That's about it. They are mostly in action scenes together, with very little dialogue.

Rebecca and Claire -> Had great moments of nerdiness together (I mean that in an affectionate way), but very few action scenes compared to the other 3 mains. 

Can't say much about the other character combos, tbh. There was no mention of the ID conflict bet Leon and Claire. They have very little interactions in the film, probably less than a min. of dialogue? Just Leon saying Claire's name when they saw each other for the first time in the film (not even sure if that was Chris or him even), and then a scene where he ordered her and Rebecca to go mess around with the computers (ala ID).

-That character with a special mention in the early leaks -> It was Chris talking about Piers from re6. Unfortunately, there were no surprise appearances from other fan-fave characters. 

-The ending was your classic "heroes staring into the sunset after one hella fight" cliche, but t'was nice nonetheless haha

Overall:

It's everything you expect from a Resident Evil movie. Campy and with a weak plot, but gets redeemed by featuring a sh*t ton of welcome fan service (both good and bad). I like it better than Vendetta. 

Supposedly a 10/10, but that licker scene was a disservice to Jill, so 9/10.

[infernalmellifera]

it’s totally fine if not but would you ever consider posting some info on how you made your mirage head?id love to cosplay v2 but im lost on how to go about the construction of it lol

HI I LOVE THIS QUESTION AND I WAS ACTUALLY HOPING TO MAKE IT THIS MIRAGE MONDAY ANYWAYS!!! 🩷🤭

🩷Mirage Monday: Construction and Process!🩷

I dont have pics of the template, but if i ever remake it ill be sure to make one sorry ;; BUT before even constructing, ive found that making a small doll-sized prototype! (and fun bonus, if you dont lose yours like i did, you can use it with your monster high dolls!)

The line going straight across the horizontal center is a score line (not cut all the way through) to assist in shape! it helps to give it that little edge to it without having to glue it! i also scored it to make the rounded parts at the bottom of the neck and the inset of the eye :)

each side is its own panel, except the front that is composed of 5 panels (left and right sides, center top, chin, and under chin( and the optional stem, that i ended up ditching because it dug into my neck.

after hot gluing all the pieces together, i filled in the seams with clay foam, but that step is completely optional when working with sharp edges. after that, i spray painted it white (which i regret! it wont get the smell out of the cardboard!!!) as a base coat, but id suggest just using white gesso or white acrylic paint to help get that vibrant colors on. i used acrylic paints for the colors and a light shine finish on top! but if you wanna bypass that step, you can totally use glossy acrylics :)

the face mesh!! mine is made from patio screen, but if you can afford it, there is a mesh made specifically for prop heads that would look better !! acrylic paint also works great here. shown above is my first draft for the face that i ended up ripping off and starting over for, so be prepared to either have two in case you mess up, or start by drafting it out on plain paper to see if you like it.

theres a piece of foam at the chin for stabilization too! i put a headband on the inside for the same purpose, but ive found my hair is too long to actually use that without a wig cap, so its a little obsolete and i push it to the back while wearing it. it kinda hugs the back of my head and stabilizes it decently….. but honestly you could get that same effect with just the foam.

lastly, the mechanics!! i am by no means an engineer by any means, i just happened to have extra LEDs. The Eye is made of LEDs set into two painted ribbon spools glued on top of the mesh screen with a painted fabric-like plastic sheet (from a wig bag) to diffuse the light (and that little extra circle is just a piece of paper) .

in the back of it, i have a little switch! it comes from a pack of string lights from the dollar tree, but i had to dismantle the battery pack because the LEDs only work with 9v batteries (sad!) so i had to figure out how to make a 9v battery cover out of the AA battery pack. its a bit cheugy but its functional! if youre planning on wearing it for a long time, totally install a computer fan!!!! it gets super sweaty in there (ew!) even though the entire face is ventilated :p

i am the worst person to ask about soldering, but im positive you could find a pretty good tutorial on youtube :,) my lights run from the back battery, to the left light, to the right light, and ends at the eye (mostly because the lights had input/output on both sides and the eye did Not).

if ive missed ANYTHING, feel free to ask me in comments, reblogs, asks, or DMs!!

[isa-ah]

man i had a fuck of a nightmare last night

an old friend and i had moved out to japan together to kind of start over and get a new lease on life. we got a ground story apartment that butted right up against a college, & i found out pretty quickly that someone i grew up with was attending! she introduced me to her best friend, and thats where stuff kind of hit off.

her friend was this cute little latina girl with huge dark eyes and curly hair (my greatest weakness) and i, being terminally weak and single in my dream, immediately invited her over to hang out. she kind of giggled abt it and followed me over to our apartment while we made small talk and once we walked in, the buddy i was living with hops up immediately like oh? you brought over a friend? thats so exciting and kind of swarmed her. not in a bad way! shes just a very strong personality and can be an acquired taste. that said, this girl i brought over was really shy and kind of folded under the attention so i pulled her into my room for some. privacy. to talk.

and it was a lot of fun honestly. we really hit it off. she asked me if i could fix something wrong with her laptop so i was messing around with it while she did this little scavenger hunt for pieces to put together a 3D puzzle she was really interested in. it was nice. id crack jokes and shed like giggle and flush and i was like oh i am KILLING this until i turned around to ask her a question about her computer and realized shed left my room at some point and the 3D puzzle was only one piece away from complete, laying on my bed.

i went to find the last piece and then trailed out with it in my hands to find her and realized my roomie was talking her EAR off and shed been shooting me sos texts about it. i came around the corner where i could hear them talking and only my roomie was there, looking dejected and sunken into the couch. i was like, whered she go? and she said i dont know. i dont think she likes me very much.

i gave her a little pep talk while we waited, assuming shed run back to her dorm or over to the corner store to get something. but gradually nearly a week passed where we didnt hear back from her. upon asking, her friend hadnt either. concerned, my roomie and i gathered up all the stuff shed left (including her whole laptop) and stuck them into the living room closet so theyd be safe when she finally returned.

we slipped into my room to discuss it because we were both really starting to worry when the shadow cast from my window shifted and i spun around to see just the very top of her curly little head poking over the windowsil. thinking she was checking to see if we were home, i JUMPED up so relieved, but was knocked back by the force at which our front door SLAMMED open and SLAMMED shut.

we looked at each other like whwhhhh why do you think she did THAT...? and held our breath as we heard her stumbling footsteps across the carpet and then a clattering of things pulled off the closet shelf in the living room. so shed come back for her stuff. thats good, right? thats a good thing? but as i pushed the bedroom door open to ask if everything was okay, the living room was empty. the closet door was swaying but everything else was still.

my roomie and i glanced at each other again like oh. uhm. okay. and as were trying to figure out what had just happened, i hear her voice, wavering from within my bedroom calling for me. so i book it like holy shit, are you okay? but my room is likewise empty.

and again, from behind me this time, i hear her shy voice as if from under water, call for help.

we pulled the apartment apart but we couldnt find her anywhere. her stuff was still sitting untouched on the top shelf of the closet and her phone was off. and slowly, realizing she wasnt here in any way physically, my roomie and i sat down. & i just remember her saying slowly, quietly, "i dont think shes okay, isaiah." before her jaw fell open and a horrific foghorn blared out of it.

waking me up.

brother i lost so much sleep after that. idk. idk. felt bad

[brilokuloj]

I've been trying harder lately to not be paranoid and assume bad faith in others, so I have chosen to believe that people who post "eww, humans" might not consider how their sentiment impacts people who are already hurting. Frequently, I think they are posting it because of their own bad feelings and struggles, and don't think about how that would make their friends and community feel.

In fact, a lot of the "human bodies are bad" sentiment revolves around how human bodies are impractical (disabled bodies are negative), sex is nasty and genitals are weird (transitioned bodies are negative)...

So, if I may, here are things I think we need more of:

Human positivity, or at least tolerance, especially of the gross and yucky and boring parts

Furries/aliens/robots/etc who love their human partners (and the focus is NOT on how cute or sexy the nonhuman is for doing so). Relationships that are mutual and not a Connecticut Clark joke.

Humans from an alien but not negative perspective

Nonhumanity as not a better but simply alternative experience

and I guess probably this far in you're already thinking "most media is human-positive" but MCU dudes and anime boys are like pugs to me, they can't live.

Characters that live without prosthetics, or get feasible or life-impacting ones, rather than Cool Robot Parts; aesthetics (or sex factor.) should not justify or make up for a disability; a character that makes you think "gee, I wish they would cut my arm off!" is not disability representation. I have experienced people listing Junkrat as proof they could be attracted to me as a mobility aid user.

Humans will not destroy machinery, no robot uprising, but rather they maintain the mutual relationship they've always had (and less of using robots as a stand-in for autism representation. My God.)

Many human women were computers before machines were computers. I just think this is cool and not really explored :(

Top surgery scars that are not like cool perfectly-symmetrical explosions or jagged teeth. Get a tattoo if you want, but a lot of the time scars are raised and shiny, which I rarely see either.

I doubt anyone in the world enjoys their period, but they're frequently pointed to as "proof" that humans aren't worth being. If your periods make you lay down on the floor and want to kill yourself for a week, you seriously should see a doctor if you can. I didn't know until it was way too late that I had other options, because periods are too yucky to candidly discuss and no one told me it wasn't normal.

Testosterone gives you acne. Spironolactone makes you need to pee more. There's a lot of unexpected things like that, and they are not objectively gross or sexy; they're just things that happen, that deserve to be discussed.

Fursuit poodling (having uncovered skin in a partial fursuit). It's not gross, it doesn't 'break the magic'. Fursuiting is sweltering exhausting work, and real humans are inside them, and they deserve to be appreciated.

It can be really hurtful to blithely say that human genitals are disgusting, especially in front of people who may want to one day pursue affirmative surgery. If someone personally doesn't like dongs, I wish they would just say that. Jeez.

Nobody is "better" for having an aversion to human bodies for whatever reason. I understand personally that it can be isolating, especially if those reasons are trauma-related. But turning your sexual attractions into a matter of you being "better", or a clubhouse, is not really coping with it. Disgust is not a judgment of morals or quality. It's an emotion, and one that can be very hurtful to people who are already getting hurt.

Because nothing is Good or Bad. It just is what it is. Judging people's right to exist and be depicted, based on sex appeal or morality (or god forbid, purity, which I've seen more of recently, somehow completely ignoring the religious abuse connotations) is... messed up.

And to make this post not just me complaining, you can share your creations or ideas that you feel like apply, if you want :)

[savventeen]

I JUST BINGED YOUR ENTIRE “THANKS FOR PLAYING” AND I HAD TO STOP MYSELF FROM CRYING IN THE LIVING ROOM AND GODDAMN I GOT SO MANY QUESTIONS/IDEAS so here’s a dump lmao

AND SPOILERS ‼️‼️

and be honest if you honestly don’t have any idea or want to leave it up for interpretation

dino’s friend recommended it to him and he recommended it to mc right? well what happened to that friend/person?? i bet they are alive because they sent that game to 13 people before 3 am so the lady in the closet doesn’t get to them 🤭

if mc didn’t mess around and acted seriously in the game, would the outcome have changed? or was it always the gamemaster’s intention for the player to fall into obscurity?

how come dino remembered the mc? power of love??? or because he knew about the game (im pulling stuff out of my ass)?? or he has an android phone in this au 🧐

what if the pfps for the “AIs” are actually previous victims

so if you actually finish the game against all odds everyone is released (if they aren’t dead) hmmmmm sequel merhaps?? jk

imagine the only clue left about the players existence is the goddamn phone bill for texting 💀

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MC????? wait that’d be really sad if the mc was actually still alive but dino couldn’t recognize them as “mc” but knows they exist somehow uGH

i know you wrote this story for fun so these don’t need to have answers/comments but please provide any extra tidbits of info about this concept it’s so interesting 🙏🙏

SKLJDFLKSDJF OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING????? AND IM SO HONORED HOLY SHIT I WILL DO MY ABSOLUTE BEST TO ANSWER WHAT I CAN 😭💜

also you are not the only one with questions so I'm going to do my best to answer them all here!!!

[for anyone who hasn't read it yet and wants to know wtf we're talking about, you can read the entirety of my .|X| THANKS FOR PLAYING |X|. smau here!]

*cracks knuckles* alrighty buckle up folks time to try and answer some questions and take a deep dive into savv’s personal TFP lore here we gooooooooooooo

[putting it all under a readmore bc it got long af and also i didn't realize how hard it would be to translate the lore in my brain into words??????? i somehow didn't realize how oddly complicated it is??? like writing all of this out in any kind of semi-coherent way was SO HARD sdkjfsdlkjf]

~ Was it all a dream? (this one was asked by @junhui-recs)

Sadly, no. 😭 In the reality of this fictional universe, a tragedy very much did happen and Dino and MC are very much suffering from it 🥲 (I will not stop you from imagining that it was all a dream tho, we all have different ways of coping dklsjfsklj <3)

~ What's the main purpose of the game? Why are they doing this? (this one asked by @diamondyjh)

OKAY SO to start off you need to know that this au was heavily inspired by an episode of a podcast called "The Magnus Archives", specifically the episode “Binary” (transcript here). [If you're a fan of horror, I highly recommend giving the episode a listen/read, it's delightfully creepy — you don't need to have listened to any of the other episodes to understand it (just stop at the ending 'supplemental' part)]

The episode goes into detail about this sort of digital urban legend/creepypasta/copypasta about a guy named Sergey Ushanka who, long story short, tried to upload his brain/consciousness into a computer because he was afraid of death and wanted to try living forever virtually. There are tame versions of how he did it and other much more brutal ones, but basically "Sergey Ushanka" is a prank that various coders/programmers like to pull when making chatboxes in which you could talk with "strangers". It would start out normal and then steadily devolve into something creepy. This paragraph taken directly from the episode transcript sums it up very nicely:

"But then the responses start to break down, become more sinister, and keep referring to how much pain Sergey is in. Eventually, the only response the bot gives you is screaming and pleas to be released. The idea is that the chatbot is Sergey Ushanka’s mind, and he doesn’t like being in a computer nearly as much as he’d hoped."

So the idea that I stole from the episode essentially was: but what if it was real? What would the reality of being turned into cold, unfeeling data feel like? Agony is what the episode posits. Here is a list of phrases that the Sergey in the episode uses:

cw: vague body horror, blood mention "the angles cut me when I try to think" / "it peels my mind like knives" / "it feels like thinking through cheese wire" / "there's no feeling, but the no feeling hurts" / "it's cold without blood" / "the maze is sharp on my mind"

My next thought process was: What happens after? If someone were able to survive this process and were somehow able to keep any kind of agency, how would that person try to get out of the digital hellscape that has now become their existence? After knowing what it feels like to become distinctly inhuman, wouldn't they do anything to feel human again?

And how do we feel human? How do we find connection with each other and our humanity without ever having to come in contact with another person?

Stories. Fiction and non-fiction alike, we are all connected through storytelling, by finding feeling through other people's words. The thing about stories, though, is that they aren't messy in the same way that actually feeling our feelings is. That being human is.

So what does all of this have to do with the purpose of the game?

Essentially, when it's all boiled down, in this universe the story of Sergey Ushanka is real, and in this universe he is trying to gain his humanity back by stealing that of others. He started off with stories, with whatever online libraries and resources and archives he could find across the internet. And while it wasn't even close to enough to satisfy him, to get rid of any of the pain he was constantly experiencing, it was enough for him to learn, to grow, to realize that if he wanted his humanity back, he needed to go to the source.

So he started stealing real people from the real world, with all of their messy feelings and emotions and humanness.

That is the purpose of the game, why "they" are doing this. (pls don't ask the how bc i don't have an answer for that, just -waves hands- you know, insert your supernatural/sci-fi explanation of choice sldkflksj)

~ Did all the other characters from the game also get pulled into it the same way reader did? (asked by @diamondyjh) / What if the pfps for the “AIs” are actually previous victims

Short answer, yes to both! (Longer answer in the next question lol)

~ Who are those other people? (asked by @junhui-recs)

Essentially, the other characters/bots/whatever you want to call them are a kind of amalgamation of all the previous players who got sucked into the game. Once someone's been... let's call it absorbed, whatever parts of themselves are left after the process basically get shoved into whatever "character" they fit best, sometimes different pieces going to different characters.

And while the pictures could just be random ones, I like the idea that they're taken from the most recent players that got absorbed :')

~ Why was Changkyun evil? (asked by @junhui-recs)

Well, the main reason he was "evil" was because he's, y'know, a part of the game and the game is trying to steal people's souls or whatever. As for why he's mean, that's because he's trying to trigger an emotional reaction. The more messy, human feelings that are happening at the time of absorption, the better :').

~ Dino’s friend recommended it to him and he recommended it to mc right? What happened to that friend/person??

"i bet they are alive because they sent that game to 13 people before 3 am so the lady in the closet doesn’t get to them 🤭" SJKDFSKLDJ this made me snort, so thank you 😂

BUT to answer your question, in the story, Dino says that Yeonjun gave it to him and that he got it from "a friend of a friend of a roommate". Because the absorption and the consequent complete erasure is such a big process, not everyone who plays gets sucked in. In fact, most people who play don't get sucked in. Which is why Yeonjun is totally fine! (And why the friend of the friend of the roommate, aka this universe's irl Changkyun, is not 🥲)

~ If mc didn’t mess around and acted seriously in the game, would the outcome have changed? Or was it always the gamemaster’s intention for the player to fall into obscurity?

This one's a little bit complicated. It's kind of a yes and no situation? Generally speaking, the game isn't looking to ensnare every single person who plays because 1) it takes A Lot Of Effort to take/erase a single person, and 2) the game needs to spread to other people somehow, thus it needs people to play it and then tell other people to play it too.

For MC specifically, though, it's hard to say. How they played the game didn't matter so much as how they reacted to the game, specifically the first phase(s) of the Mnemosyne Protocol. The whole point of the game is to get big, messy, emotional responses, so if MC hadn't had such a big reaction, the game probably would have turned out differently. That being said, if MC had played the game as blandly as possible, the game might not have ever decided to test out the Mnemosyne Protocol, so. *shrugs* Do with that what you will lol.

~ So if you actually finish the game against all odds everyone is released (if they aren’t dead) hmmmmm sequel merhaps?? jk

Sadly, nothing special happens if you finish the game 😭 Plenty of people finish the game and pretty much go "huh, that was cool I guess" and then move on with their lives after telling their friends about it. This can be said about all four games mentioned actually, since we only see one of them get played.

As for a sequel... almost certainly not 🥲 I'm not going to give a hard no/no forever, because who knows if I'll end up getting another idea/get suddenly struck with inspiration, but... it is Extremely unlikely. Another story in the same universe??? ...still not likely, but slightly more likely than a sequel lol.

~ Why is Dino the only one who remembers reader? (asked by @diamondyjh) / How come Dino remembered the mc? Power of love??? Or because he knew about the game (im pulling stuff out of my ass)?? Or he has an android phone in this au 🧐

I almost want to make the answer "bc he has an android" because that is So Funny to me like sldkfjsldkjfslkjdf amazing 😂

But no, that's not the case lmao. And while I am a huge sucker for the Power of Love being an unstoppable force (ESPECIALLY when it's non-romantic love!!!), the reason Dino and only Dino remembers is thanks to sheer luck and a glitch.

So, in episode 28, MC drops their phone when meeting their brother and in episode 29 we see the alert ".|| MNEMOSYNE PROTOCOL COMPLETE ||." show up on a cracked screen.

The final phase of the Mnemosyne Protocol is the erasure portion, and the reason players get erased instead of just like, disappearing is because their "essence" is basically being transferred from reality into this digital realm of Sergey's existence. And reality, because it's now lacking an entire person and their history, just kinda... rewrites itself to make sense with the missing gap. Think of it as the universe doing like a sort of reverse autocorrect.

But because MC's phone got broken in the middle of that transfer, there was a slight glitch in the process. A glitch wherein Dino, because he was on the opposite side of the globe when this was happening, got accidentally missed in the autocorrection process. If he had been in Korea (or heck, anywhere within a few thousand miles) when this happened, he would have forgotten MC as well.

So long story short, Dino was just extremely (un?)lucky 🥲

~ Where is reader? (asked by @junhui-recs) / WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MC????? Wait that’d be really sad if the mc was actually still alive but dino couldn’t recognize them as “mc” but knows they exist somehow uGH

Well, sad news here friends. Most of what's left of MC is now stuck inside the game. They got absorbed and are now a part of Sergey's dataset and will be used/distributed into "characters" as needed.

Notice that I said most. Because, thanks to the glitch, the part of them that was connected to Dino didn't get transferred properly, and now that part of them is kinda stuck — it no longer exists in the real world, but it also didn't get fully absorbed into the game.

Which leads me to the next question:

~ Did reader turn evil and try to pull Dino into the game or is it the game itself being evil and impersonating reader to lure Dino in? (asked by @diamondyjh)

When I wrote the original version of this, the answer was a kind of combination of both — MC had gotten absorbed and corrupted by the game, so while it was the MC reaching out, they were doing so because it was what the game wanted.

But in this version... It's actually neither! Which I think would normally be a good thing but I think in this instance actually just makes this sadder oops.

So, the epilogue isn't the game impersonating MC and it isn't an "evil" MC trying to lure Dino in, it's actually just the part of MC that got stuck during the glitchy transfer. This is why the messages show as being from "Unknown" instead of the phone number associated with the game. And the reason what's left of MC asks Dino if he wants to play a game is because that's the only way it knows how to connect with anything anymore.

Basically, this sliver of MC that's left is experiencing what the original Sergey went through when he first "uploaded" himself, but instead of reaching out to anyone through a chatbot for help, it's reaching out to the only thing it "remembers" about humanity — Dino.

...I honestly didn't mean to make this story any sadder than it already is and I'm glad that the epilogue by itself just reads as spooky/freaky as hell instead of, well, this. 🥲

~ If Dino plays the game, will he be reunited with reader? (asked by @diamondyjh)

It pains me to say that there is no longer an MC for Dino to reunite with 😭 The part of them that got absorbed by the game is, well, a part of the game now. And the piece of them that's left and trying to reach out to him? Well, like I said, it's just a piece.

There could potentially be a chance for him to find some closure here, but that's about it I'm afraid :')

And now because I want this to end on a more lighthearted note:

~ Imagine the only clue left about the players existence is the goddamn phone bill for texting 💀

It becomes the next biggest conspiracy, that there's someone (or a group of someones) out there completing the world's next biggest scam by raking up random people's phone bills and somehow finding a way to steal the profit lmao

~ Some last thoughts from savv:

If y'all made it all the way to the end of this... holy shit I applaud you sldkfjsdlkjflksjdf LIKE!!!

thank you for taking the time to read all of this?????? it's not even fic it's just me rambling and making things Even Sadder??????

i also want to say that i'm a believer that 'canon' is whatever was posted in the story itself and that anything else is just headcannon, even if it's from me, the author. so if you don't like/don't agree with anything i've said here, feel free to ignore it!! fill in any gaps/questions you have in the way that makes your reading experience the most enjoyable!!

but yeah tHANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING AND I HOPE THESE ARE SATISFACTORY ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS AND IF YOU HAVE ANY MORE/HAVE A RENEWED DESIRE TO FIGHT ME MY INBOX IS OPEN SDKLJFSLKJFLSKFJSLKD

[gripes-withthesun]

Solitaire's the only game in town

This idea just wouldn't leave me so I had to get it out of my head. I don't really draw much, especially not digitally, the sketches done here were basically finger painted on my phone which will explain the quality.

Screenshots from this site and this site, go enjoy a game of solitaire!

[Image IDs in order; all images have a dark grey background and white text:

1. 'A solitary mess - Hritvika Lakhera' over a grey spade and curly borders. Light grey spots are scattered around

2. Rough digital drawing of a computer screen with a game of solitaire open on it. Below that is a picture of the spider cards from Windows spider solitaire and a smiling emoticon on top. Text reads, "When i was young, I watched my parents and elders play solitaire on the computer. I did not understand much of what was happening on the screen but I liked when the spider showed up in spider solitaire"

3. First half has a screenshot of a spider solitaire game and a roughly drawn cartoon of a child seemingly frustrated. Text reads, "I tried to play it on my own sometimes but could never figure it out. The cards just wouldn't stack and it left me frustrated" Second half shows an option to select between easy and hard mode with two icons of card kings, red and black. Text reads, "Recently I remembered those games again and thought to try them again now that I'm older

I got stuck in it but started to understand by and by..."

4. Text reads, "The game wasn't about stacking up the cards. It was about clearing them out"

5. First half shows two screenshots of google searches. One for solitaire online and spider solitairI online, the second for baker's game online and freecell online. Text reads, "I started playing it obsessively, and then onward to spider solitaire. Turns out there are several kinds of solitaire games -" Second half has two screenshots, one of a FreeCell game and one of a Baker's game. Text reads, "FreeCell, where the balance between arranging the cards and keeping the cells open frustrated me again. And its evil cousin, the Baker's Game, where the cards went only with their own particular suits"

6. First half has a tangled scribbled mess of lines. Text reads, "Every now and again the basics would slip my mind: it's about clearing out the cards. It's about untangling a mess". Second half has a gif of a messy FreeCell game. Text reads, "When I close my eyes to sleep I see a horribly tangled game of FreeCell before my eyes. In my dreams the stresses of daily life take the form of an impossible Baker's Game"

7. Two stacks of playing cards, one where the last cardface says 'Plans for writing' while the other says 'Promises to friends and family'. Below is an overturned card with an arrow pointed to it saying 'Click here to deal more plans' in neon letters. Text reads, "My life has been a mess of tangled plans and locked in wishes that is hard to make sense of. In my search for purpose and direction I keep adding little tasks and obligations. Taking up more on my plate so it doesn't seem too empty. Stacking up my ventures so they seem to create a solid sense of self. Being scared of leaving a space open or of committing to one plan of action too much."

8. Screenshot of a solitaire timer that says '05:07 Moves: 19'. Below that is the computer screen from before this time casting light around with a timer that reads 'Time: 63:09 Moves: 102'. Text reads, "I knew solitaire had given me a sense of control but I didn't realise it also ran parallel to the rest of my life. I either clear up the game within 5 minutes or I get too frustrated and loose track and give up. It is entirely too different from how my parents would play it, with a focus and patience that allowed them to disentangle the worst of games, and correct a wrong move (Fun fact: about 5% of solitaire games are completely unsolvable!)"

9. A gif of a Baker's game where the cards are getting stacked and further locked in. Text reads, "I get overwhelmed by the cards that life has dealt me, and my inability to stack them up. So I keep restarting a game, or dealing more cards, and making incomplete stacks..."

10. A gif of a FreeCell game. There are several free spaces and after five moves the game resolves and all stacks clear out, returning to their suita. Text reads, "And I keep forgetting that I don't have to do that. I just have to clear them out". /end ID]

[little-writing-drabbles]

ᖫ Interview ᖭ

Ask: N/A

Type: x reader

Word count: 4,244

Reader: gn, no pronouns specified

TW: death, description of a murder, mutilation (not reader), mental illness potentially, mention of a car accident, not proofread, grammar, probably really shitty

Sunsets were always your favorite. You remembered when you got your first car in high school and you would drive up a mountain in the outskirts of your town and would watch the sun set almost everyday. It helped you relax on bad and stressful days, like the sun was taking it away from you, leaving the moon to keep you company. You loved the colors, the orange and yellow of the lowering sun mixing with the blue sky and shades of purple and pink color the clouds, making them look like cotton candy. It was peaceful. You didn’t watch the sunset as much as you used to, work takes up a lot of your time.

Your job isn’t one you liked talking about or telling people, in simple words, you were a true crime podcaster. Researching crimes took up a lot of your time, you needed any and all details you could get your hands on, news articles, accounts of the people involved, witnesses reports, interrogation footage and even crime scene photos were things that were important to recounting cases to the public. You were thankful two of your friends had offered to help you with your research to not overwork yourself. Your relaxation time was interrupted when your phone rang, reaching into your cupholder where your phone sat, you picked up your phone to read the caller ID ‘Melody’. You sighed a little and answered her call, the sound coming out of your car speaker.

“Hey Melody.” You couldn’t hear anything coming from the other side, causing you to sit up in your seat and fiddle with the volume, “you there?”

“Where are you?”

You covered your ears quickly, after messing with the volume knob, you had left it on max volume. Melody’s voice boomed through your car and you quickly turned it down. “Hello?” You sucked in a breath through your teeth.

“Yeah I’m here”

“Are you ok? What happened?”

“I couldn’t hear you so I messed with the volume and blew my eardrums out.”

“Dumbass.” Melody laughed. You fixed your jacket on your shoulders and listened to the thump and rustling from Melody’s side of the call. “You never answered my question.” more rustling, “Where are you?”

“Beach, watching the sunset.” 

“Did you edit the footage?” You froze as you shuffled in your car, “You haven't even started yet huh.”

“No!” You rubbed you'd face and turned your car on. “I'm heading home now ok, I'll start working on it.” Melody hummed. 

“Good, Ive given the other two videos another watch through and fixed a few things here and there and now I just need to make thumbnails for them.” You nodded and to took to the road to head home, watching the sunset from the passenger window in glances. 

“Ill be home soon, Ill text you when I finish editing ok?”

“Alright, dont forget to eat something”

“I won't, text you later.”

“yeah, by biatch.” You laughed as Melody ended the call and you pulled into your driveway. Quickly getting inside before the cold wind picked up. You let out a sigh of relief as you turned on a few light that lead to your living room where you set up your computers for editing. 

You waisted no time in sitting down and turning on the computer to get to work editing on the footage you had already uploaded into Adobe™. You out on your headphones and played to footage right see what you gas gotten, preparing for the first watch though. 

— — — — — — — ✂ — — —

“Hello ladies and gents, welcome to ‘The Dark Truth: A Candid Conversation with Convicts’. A series where I sit down with criminals and ask them about their crimes from their perspective.” You shuffled in your seat as you motioned to the person in front of you. “I'm sitting here today with Max Watson.” Max nodded and he sat straight in his chair in front of the mic that you had set up in front of him. “Max there's two sides to your story and I want to split that up and take it in parts.”

“Ok.” Max stared at you as he spoke, making you squirm a little in your chair. Max had an intense stare, chocolate brown eyes bore into you as he waited for his turn to speak.

“There was a point in your life when things at home weren't doing so great, how old were you?” Max sighed as he thought. 

“I would say…” Max bounced his head from side to side as he remembered back to his life before being locked up, “I would say when I was about sixteen.” He nodded, content with his answer. 

“Can you tell me about your life before then?”

“Well, for a majority of my life I grew up on the west coast on the cliffs right next to the beach in a beach house, we moved there when I was nine, my sister was six I believe?” 

“How close to the beach were you? Was it a town or just a house?” Max tapped his nose a little before looking at you.

“It was right there, like there was just a road between my front yard and the carved in stairs that led down to the beach.” Max used his hands to map out the layout of his house on the table.

“Did you have neighbors?” Max titled his head to the side as he scratched his head, tangling his fingers into his hair that matched his eyes. 

“I had like one, I think.” Max placed his hand back onto the table as he lifted his head to an upright position, “They weren't super close but not far either. My mom hated it.”

“She hated the beach house?” He nodded. 

“Yes, my mom has a very intense fear of the ocean, she never wanted to move into that house.” You opened your mouth to speak but Max beat you to it. “My dad didn't care, we moved anyway.”

“Did they argue about it?”

“Of course. My dad was an architect and he made that house we moved into.”

“Were you upset when you moved?” 

Max shook his head while you readjusted yourself. “No, I was a daddy's boy, if he wanted to move then I would follow without a second thought. And he made that house for me.”

“He made it for you?” Max nodded, “how so?” Max's eyes seemed to sparkle as he rubbed his hands together, excited to tell the story. 

“I had always seen people surf in movies and tv and I wanted to learn how and told my dad about it all the time and so he designed a beach house for me.” You nodded a little. A cute memory of Max and his dad but you reminded yourself where you were both sitting.

“Do you think people are living in that house now?” He shrugged. 

“I don't know, honestly it makes me angry to think about that. That the house my dad made for me is being lived in by other people.” You nodded in understanding. 

“Can you tell me about your mom? Were you close?” Max whined a little and shook his head sheepishly as he scratched his head. He chuckled a little before placing his hand on his thighs. 

“I didn't really care for her.” Max looked down at the table, “She was in the way most of the time.” Max looked back up at you, “my sister was always with her.”

“They were close weren't they.”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me about your sister?”

“Not much to say, she was in the way too.”

“You don't love her?”

“Not really.” Max shook his head and almost shivered at the thought, “She wanted to be a detective so she was always talking about clues and mysteries. I know she loved Sherlock Holmes. Called me her Watson and all but made me play detective with her.”

“This beach house, did you ever learn to surf?” Max perked up at your question and nodded excitedly.

“I did.” Max leaned in, “my dad got me a surfboard and I spent all morning everyday out on the water learning.” Max smiled fondly at the memory, “I would stay our and watch the sunrise all the time, and the sunsets were just as devine.” 

“Wow, it must have been beautiful.”

“Oh always.” Max tapped the table a little, “I loved it, I would watch the sunset almost every day.” He sighed before scratching his hand, “not always but at least I never missed a sunrise.” You nodded as your rubbed your arms and stretched your back.

“i'm assuming you got better over the years?”

“Yes, I was doing surfing competitions by the time I was in High School. My dad would go but my sister and mom never did.”

“Mmm. So while you got better your mom got worse.”

“Yeah.”

“How bad did it get?”

“She got really pale, she never went out because you would just be looking at the ocean so she only ever went out to the backyard but it wasn't often.” Max scratched his head again, “She and my sister would beg to move so mom could get better but my said would just tell them ‘we're not moving’ to their faces.” 

“Why didn't your mom just have her family come take her away?”

“She wasn't close with her family ever, like no contact so she didn't have anywhere to go.” You hummed a response and tapped the table a little. 

“What happened when you were sixteen?”

“My dad died.” Max's voice was flat as he stared at you, almost glaring at you for asking. “Car accident, he was coming home from town at night and was hit by a group of teenagers that were driving on the wrong side and my dad swerved but so did they and they pushed him off the side of that cliff.”

“Did you know the teenagers that were in the car?” Max clenched his teeth and began grinding his jaw before nodding.

“All of them were in my English class.” Max shook his head in a disapproving way, “They couldn't even look at me.” Max shuffled in his chair and clenched his fists to calm himself down, “They tried for weeks to apologize and make it up for me but I wasn't gonna let them.”

“Their apologies wouldn't bring your dad back.” Max looked at you stunned.

“Yeah.” Max couldn't be angry anymore, he looked around awkwardly before looking back at you. “It was really hard for me, I guess it was also hard for my mom and my sister.” 

“You were the man of the house at that point.” 

“I was, my dad left me a majority for his things and the house, while my mom and my sister got some money.”

“Did you keep surfing?”

“I had too.” Max stared at the mic in front of him, “Surfing was my thing. It helped me cope.” 

“Things didn't get better with your mom after your dad passed, did they.” Max shook his head. 

“No, I was sixteen when my dad passed and eighteen when my mom lost her vision.”

“Your mom listed her vision? Was it an eye disease?”

“No, it was self-inflicted.” You raised your eyebrows in shock, “I look a lot like my dad and when he passed my mom didn't have many ways to cope, I don't know if she didn't try or it wasn't working but she started calling me Willas–my dads name–and kept telling me to not go outside and stay out of the water and telling me that we should move away for Max's safety and I was sick of it honestly.”max shrugged as he waved his arms about slightly before leaving then. on his lap. 

“So what did you do?”

“I told her to leave me alone.” Max shook his head, “I thought her fear of deep water was annoying at this point and since I was of age all of the things my dad left me were now in my possession including the house.” Max rubbed his face as he leaned forward again, “so since I was so fed up I grabbed her arms-” Max held one of his forearms and shook it lightly, “ like this and I started dragging her out of the house, telling bee that if she wanted to stay in my house she needed to get over her fear because I wasn't gonna leave.” 

Max let his arm go and propped his head up with his arm on the table, “I didn't get her out of the house but I got her to the front door and she lost her marbles and broke down. My sister was out at the time and she had just gotten home and got really mad at me.”

��She helped your mom back inside?”

“Yeah,” Max rubbed his temples, “a few days later I went out into town to get a few things and even a new board and when I got home I saw my mom on the kitchen floor with a bunch of cleaning products and she was holding this like,” Max moved his hands in front of him to make a cylinder as he thought, “it was like a soup take out thing and she lifted it up and poured it on her face so it would get into her eyes.” You covered your eyes in discomfort before looking back at Max. 

“It was cleaning products, wasn't it.” Max nodded in conformation. 

“Yeah, I called 911 and they confirmed it there and when they had asked her why she said I saw the ocean I saw the deep over and over again.” Max scratched his forehead, “My sister was mad at me that I didn't stop her and well I don't blame her for that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I had ample time to stop her, and I just didn't want to.”

“What was going through your head at that time?”

“I just thought, well maybe if dies she won't be such a nuisance but she didn't and that's when I called 911.” Max glanced down at the mic before looking back to you, “I watched her cry for about…” he shrugged “like almost five minutes.”

“Did your sister ever forgive you for that?”

“Eventually yeah, she shouldn't have.”

“So this was a pretty dark period in your life you'd say, right?” Max hummed a response “Is this where you had met your girlfriend.” Max nodded quickly. 

“Yeah, it was a year later.”

“Where and how exactly did you meet her, your girlfriend.”

“Oh.” Max looked at you stunned again, “No one's asked that before.” He picked at the table a little before leaning towards the mic “Well, I met her–my then girlfriend– on the beach while surfing.” He leaned back in his chair a little, “She was new in town and she was on the beach watching me and when I got out of the water to go back home she stopped me and asked me to teach her.” Max shrugged. 

“And you said yes?” Max laughed a little.

“Kinda, I thought she was pulling my arm so I said meet me here tomorrow at 7 AM and then I'll teach you. And she did.”

“And a love blossomed?” You smiled and Max smiled back. 

“It did, but I always felt like it was too fast.”

“like you got into the relationship too fast?”

“Yeah, it was only like I wanna say,” Max shrugged his shoulders as he looked around. “like a month later?”

“A month? Did you ask her to be your girlfriend?” Max shook his head quickly, a slight look of panic on his face. 

“No no no she asked me.” Max interlocked his fingers with his own. “I would have waited for much longer than a month.”

“I think it's time I asked you the big question.” Max nodded and smiled, “why are you in prison.”

“I'm in prison for killing my girlfriend of four years and her sister.”

“How long were you and your girlfriend in a relationship before you killed her.”

“Four years.”

“That’s quite a while.”

“It was the longest relationship I was in, yes.”

“Why'd you do it?” Max shrugged again. 

“Lyla loved her sister, they were joined at the hip. I knew she loved her because she told me but I never knew just how involved Sidney would be.”

“Sidney was the sister?”

“A huh.” Max nodded as he shuffled. “It was after the first year of us being together that Lyla told me her sister would be moving in with her and I didn't mind because—well what was I gonna do—and Lyla kinda kept blowing me off after that.”

“How so?”

“Like we would make plans to hang out and I would either be stood up or she would bring Sidney without ever letting me know.” Max ran his fingers through his hair and sharply exhaled, “I forgave her and let it slide multiple times before I brought up the issue with her and I said ‘Do you want to break up with me?’ and she was super confused and asked me why I would bring it up and I told her,” Max fixed his posture and tapped the table.

“You've been bringing your sister everywhere with us, or straight up ignoring me. I don't mind that you're hanging out but I want your attention sometimes too, just the two of us because I haven't lately.” You nodded along with him. “I like when people are direct with me, to tell me what bothers them or what they need from me so having to sit Lyla down and listen to me was important.” 

“Did she stop?” Max tilted his head in confusion, “like did she spare some time for just the two of you?” Max shook his head. 

“No,” He shrugged, “well she did but it was just for one week and even then she was texting her sister constantly.”

“And when did you tell her this?”

“It was two years into the relationship, then a year went past and I sat her down again and said ‘I already told you once, I want your attention sometimes too and you didn't listen to me, why?’ and she tried to defend herself and shit but it just caused the argument to escalate.”

“Did you hit her?” 

“No, but I grabbed a vase that was near me and threw it at the wall and left, which isn't great either.” Max shrugged again, “I regretted it after I got home.”

“When did you decide you wanted to kill her sister Sidney?”

“Honestly after she moved in with Lyla. Like I saw how close they were and how I was being pushed to the side I just, “ Max sighed. “I never shook the idea off and as the years went on it only made more sense to me that she should die.”

“What happened that day?”

“We were hanging out at her house and for once I thought, finally I can have her to myself for a little while, and then she looked at her phone really quick and told me, Sidney’s coming home soon so we can all hang out–and my first reaction was to get up and leave because I was getting sick of it, I wanted out and Lyla begged me to stay and I did.”

“What did she tell you?”

“Just to stay and hang out, that it would only be a little while but she said it in this very sweet way and couldn't say no. And then when Sidney got there she all but shoved me to the side as she went to greet her as if she doesn't live there with her and I said I was gonna go to the kitchen and make myself something to eat and Lyla looked at me and responded with ‘get me and Sidney something something eat too will ya darling?’ and that shit got on my nerves.” Max rubbed his face before continuing. 

“I had wanted to make myself a sandwich but I could hear Lyla and Sidney laughing in the other room and I couldn't focus on anything besides the fact that I wanted her dead.” You felt a chill run down your spine as you listened, keeping poker face on you let Max continue. “Like I grabbed a knife and looked at it as I thought about it and it wasn't long before Sidney got up and left again to the store or whatever and Lyla called me out to the living room and I went.”

“Did killing Lyla cross your mind at all?”

“Briefly, in that moment when I stood behind her I thought ‘do I really want to kill my girlfriend? yeah’ and then I turned her to look at me, covered her mouth with my hand, pushed her down and stabbed her.”

“How many times did you stab her?”

“At least six or seven times, I didn't really count but I wore myself out, I was tired so when she stopped moving I got up and sat on the couch next to her.”

“Were you waiting for Sidney to come back?”

“Of course, I killed Lyla but I wanted Sidney dead too. I waited for about fifteen minutes before Sidney got back and I stood by the door.”

“Did she scream when she saw what you did?” Max shook his head once more. 

“No, Sidney was looking at the ground when she came in and turned her back to where I was standing–” you cut Max off. 

“Where were you standing?”

“I was by Lyla's body, like I wasn't trying to cover it, I wanted Sidney to see Lyla like that.” 

“Why?” Max shrugged and you nodded as a chill ran down your spine again. 

“I just wanted Sidney to see her like that, and when she did I covered her mouth with my hand and pushed her against the door before stabbing her too.”

“Did you know you were gonna get caught?” Max nodded. 

“I did but I didn't know how long it would take.” Max scratched his hand, “I washed the knife, got into a change of clothes and went home, it was kinda late so I just entered to bed.”

“How were you caught?

“Lyla had nosy neighbors and she lived more in like an actual residential area so they probably heard the screams I don't doubt it.”

“Where were you when you were caught.”

“Take a wild guess.” Max laughed a little and you felt the blood drain from your face. “I was out on the water, I figured they would come the next day but I wanted to surf one more time before I was taken in.”

“What did they say?”

“They just waited on the beach and told me to come back to shore and I took my time so I could watched the sunrise and I did. I didn't fight or resist I just wanted this over with, even with the interrogation, the dude just hadn't even sit down and I told him. 

“You told him you did it? What did you say?”

“Yea I just said ‘your here because of Layla and Sidney Rowland, they were found in 736 Coral Road, yeah I killed them.’ and he was stunned.” There was a long silence between you and Max. 

“What's your sentence, Max.” 

“Life without parole.”

“How many years into your sentence are you?”

“Three years, I'm 25 now.”

“Do you regret killing Lyla?” Max stayed quiet for a while. 

“Sometimes. I really did like her.”

“Would you do it again?”

“Kill? Yea.”

“Thats all the questions I have, thank you for sitting down with me Max.” You stood up from the table you were sitting at and held your hand out to him. Max stared at your hand before looking over to the prison guards standing and watching you both. 

“Can I shake their hand?” The guards looked at one another and nodded, giving him the green light. Max reached over and gave your hand a shake before standing up and making his way to the guards while you collected the mics. “It was nice talking to someone Y/N, thanks.”

You looked up at Max who was being escorted away and you gave a nod. “Thank you for sitting down with me.” You and Max shared a laugh. 

“As much fun as I has with this interview and talking to you, I hope I never see you again.” Max spoke with seriousness that left you a little shaken.

“Why not?”

“I like getting attention all to myself, I get used to it very fast.” You dropped the smile on your face and Max shot you a playful wink before laughing at your reaction and following the guards back into the building. You quickly walked over to your camer that stood on it's tripod and you stopped the recording. 

You were starring at your own shirt on the computer monitor. You rubbed your face as you were put back in that prison with Max. The things he told you as he left burned into your mind and made your stomach feel funny. You took off your headphones and put them on your desk before walking over to the large floor to ceiling windows and stood there, looking out to the dark ocean that spread out right across the street. 

[winderlylandchime]

He was on a roll today! He didn’t want to stop. Havent even started the ep and we are like 3 cigarettes in and 4 pills down. He had an audience of one (to his knowledge) to entertain and he delivered. But he was stressed. It started with him coming back inside and going ‘okay i think I’m ready.. i could be wrong tho’ honestly this is a mood ngl, ‘do you think Brian buys him alcohol..or does he have a fake id? Idk whats cuter. OH MY GOD HE IS DRUNK AND CARING ABOUT HIS EDUCATION! Why am i finding this cute?..my dream is for brian to tell justin he loves him. Seriously dude wtf has to happen for you to tell him’ I swear i deserve an award bc he says stuff that would usually get a reaction from me but i have to be normal about it and it is hard! ‘Oh god, how weird do you think had to be to film blow job scenes?..his hand still acts out! How is he gonna do in school? Oh Brian can’t get enough of him. SIR’ ‘..oh my god MIKE HAS THE SAME WAY OF DEALING WITH PROBLEMS THAT I DO..remember when i dyed it purple for that girl who said her favorite color is purple..and then she never talked to me again?*long pause* honestly i dont blame her that was a bit *waves his hands around* much.’ ‘..brian actually cares about Teds weird addiction enough to show up for an intervention? See! And he got him a job! There is potential here somewhere just let me uncover it!’ ‘Oh Justin is drawing again, dude it’s okay just take a deep breath, count to ten, shake your hand a little and do it again. That’s what my therapist told me to do…although i was 12 and it was bc i was scared to make friends…oh no his hand is gonna be a problem isn’t it?!’ He is now having a moment bc he feels bad for Mikey but he is conflicted with his feelings..’i need him to listen to Bri Bri and quit his job. Oh my god JUSTIN IS STILL HERE?! OH GOD THIS IS PAINFUL TO WATCH. So what if he lost control?! HE IS CLEARLY DISABLED TO SOME DEGREE! Would you kick a handicapped person out of school bc they can’t attend gym class?! Oh i hate this guy! How about you HELP him meet the requirements somehow?! You see he is talented and instead of HELPING him as a teacher, you are gonna spit on him bc he’s disabled?! OH FUCK THIS GUY! FUCK HIM ALL THE WAY TO HELL. I need a cigarette again. Pause this shit bc i am not okay’ he is currently outside pacing back and forth mumbling while smoking and i am learning so much about him bc of qaf, this is actually insane. ‘Okay turn it back on. I’ve calmed down now (cut to justin saying he is dropping out) I LIED I AM NOT CALMED DOWN WTF YOU DONT LET PEOPLE WIN WHEN THEY MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT DISABILITIES!..oh i love all of their reactions! But Brian is about to have a stroke if Justin doesn’t stop’ ‘WAIT THAT WAS LIKE WHEN BRIAN DID IT IN THE PILOT! okay that was cute! The way Bri Bri stares at him and then he dried his face. Fucking adorable, i almost forget that im mad that he dropped out..(and we are at the computer scene) OH MY FUCKING FUCK CRISPY JESUS HE GOT HIM THAT COMPUTER! THAT IS NOT NORMAL FUCK BUDDY BEHAVIOR BRIAN! Oh this fucker cares so deeply for him and everyone else but doesn’t want anyone to know. CMON JUSTIN STOP BEING A LITTLE BITCH AND TRY IT! Oh that’s messed up Justin, he isnt trying to fix you, UNLIKE THE TEACHER HE IS TRYING TO HELP YOU FIND WAYS TO DO YOU THING! Oh he looks like he just watched a puppy get hit (he now got sad at a fake scenario he just made up about the puppy)..OH HE DREW A PENIS NICE’ 1/2 of 2x05

Oh he drew a penis, nice. DEAD.

Anon you are so brave and strong for not telling him the things that you should not be telling him.

Your brother has gone straight (pun intended) queer theory to disability theory. He needs a full honorary degree. I love him.