#so id like to get rid of it if anyones interested or also just general sword players with legit sword exclusives to trade

[princessmyriad]

Anyone with pokemon sword wanna help me out with some trades to fill out my dex?

I can offer any shield exclusives in return but ill need a bit of time to go catch them as i only have one of each so far but dm me for what youre looking for and i can make it a priority if youve got the ones i want to trade. I can even grab a shield dog if you wanted to do a dogswap. I have some shinies moved in from pokemon go too if thats something youre interested in.

I also need some that arent exclusive but need trading like aromatisse, rhyperior, escavalier and accelgor and so forth. I have a list so please dm if youve got sword or access to tradeable sword exclusives.

Thankyou!

[unsoundnovel]

THIS IS A PERMEANANT INTERACTION CALL FOR: minthara baenre of BALDUR'S GATE 3 fame!

Liking this call gives me permission to send in memes, make starters, generally bug you in the DMs for THIS character!

If not interested, no biggie! There are plenty of other characters on this huge bazooka of a blog. Please do not like this post if any canon themes in this character's backstory OFFEND or TRIGGER you.

Under the cut is brief info.

NAME: minthara of house baenre

ID: cisgender woman, bisexual.

SYMBOLISM: spiders, translucency, infrared vision, jewels, crowns, flesh cocoons, insects, brains, octopi, blood, webs, tightrope, the voice of god, the moon, music, hallucinations, pomegranates, grapes, wine, caves.

TO BE OR NOT TO BE: Minthara Baenre is not a good person. You don't need good people, in a war. You just need warm bodies willing to carve into other warm bodies. Does she deserve her vengeance? Does she deserve to live? You don't have to kill the Grove. You don't have to let her live. What will you do, when everyone else asks you why you did it?

PERSONALITY: Minthara is selfish, brutal, sensible, and efficient. She doesn't believe in evil for evil's sake. She can justify every ugly thought in her head. To her, the Drow are not just superior because they are Lolth's chosen. They are superior because every facet of their society exists for a purpose. They are superior because they kill the weak and useless to make more space for fresh, strong, beautiful and wise. Everyone has a place. Everyone EARNS their place. A drow can go from being a commoner to a place with as much luxury as a noble. Even a man can earn their spot.

Minthara speaks from extreme prejudice, extreme evil, but she believes in purpose. She was an active part in her community, even if it was just to make sure she wasn't killed and to perform her duties. She is able to talk to anyone, even good-aligned characters, and debate them, spar with them, and even!!!! Not kill them! Because she is sensible, and honestly loves to joke and brag about herself and her own ideas. She will not speak in riddles, but she will sometimes obfuscate a point. She will, eventually, if pressed, tell a good character she means to dominate the Elder Brain. She also has access to crucial information about Orin, and wants to take her down, though, so it may be in your favor to continue this journey with her anyway.

Minthara can be gentle, and loving. She believes her violence and complete domination is a form of love. (It is not.) A child weaned on poison considers it a comfort. She will pour poisoned wine until your mouth until you are drunk with it, and hold your hair back as you retch.

Last but not least, Minthara speaks from control, power, and cunning. She never seems surprised, desperate, scared, unless tadpoles. Other drow can barely see the temperature in her face flicker, unless she laughs. In conversation, she is funny, mildly curious and always up for debate (though she can hardly be convinced in ways that do not suit her ideals), charming and giving. If you like Minthara, she is sure you would like any dinner with her friends in Menzoberrazan. #GirlsNight #SexAndTheCity #ShesSuchASamantha

SPARKNOTES: House Baenre is the #1 house in Menzoberrazan. They have earned Lolth's favor more than anyone else and are her favorite house and dolls to make kiss. Minthara is the thirdborn daughter of one of the middlest daughters of the House Matron herself. One of her older sisters attempted to kill Minthara, as she had no child of her own. Minthara's mother saved her. Minthara's mother would later try to kill her. This time, Minthara would save herself.

Ketheric baited the Drow into coming to the surface. Minthara fell for it, then fell for his welcome. She was tadpoled and mindcontrolled, until the player character uses the Astral Prism to get rid of her brain worms and she comes to her senses. You can save her. She doesn't need to die.

Or does she.

WHAT THEY MEAN TO ME: Minthara is my second favorite character in the game after Wyll. The confidence in which she holds in herself, her own faith in herself, the fact that she never bows to anyone without her mind literally being taken from her---are all traits I think are so so fun and interesting when contrasted with her fucked up world views. I LOVE evil characters with a sense of humor, but also a strong backbone for all the wrong things. Is Minthara justified? Only in her own head, but she says things with such confidence and boldness you begin to question yourself. She is so sensible in the way she tries to teach you and mold you and hold you. You forget that you're swallowing poison. She gives you a better reason to kill people and fight the elder brain than some kind of chaotic good sentimentality or desperation to be good. She believes in control for efficiency, for strength, for some small part of safety in an otherwise unsafe world.

In truth, there is also an undying need in her that she does not let show. She has no home or luxury to return to. While she could exist off scraps, merely surviving, it is beneath her. She wants an easy answer. She want the efficiency of the whole world and you beneath her. Will you give in? Will you be taught? Or will you falter at the last second. Will you be caught, in the Spider's Web?

[jellymeduza]

Replies

@tammyhybrid21 asked:

Do you have any plans to make your Bigfoot family mod compatible with something like picknmix's age transition messages mod, It's unfortunately a requirement for their toddler memories mod, and I don't want to give up the bigfoot fam so was just wondering if there's any plans for compatibility or not.

Hi! I’m working on compatibility plug-ins!

@kitteninthewindow asked:

Ohhhh, I've got a curiosity! Do you think it would be possible to get rid of Ideal Plantsims all together and instead replace it with a random pollination system? As in production of a plantbaby will grab the DNA of a completely random plantsim in the neighborhood that's not an unplayable, similar in fashion to how plants sometimes pollinate in real life? I don't know enough about modding to know if this is achievable or not, so I was hoping someone with more expertise in that area could provide their input.

That’s an interesting thought. Yeah, it could be probably done. There are mods that look for specific kind of Sims, for example Cyjon’s Vampire Walkbys.

The problem is, growning plantbaby requires both Sim’s object ID and Sim’s neighbour ID. I know you can check entire neighbourhood looking for neighbour ID (Cyjon’s mod does that), but I don’t know whether it is possible to look for Sims by their object ID. You can easily get neighbour ID when you have object ID, but I don’t know if it works the other way around, I’ve never tried to.

All in all, if anyone knows how to deal with these issues and feels like taking kitteninthewindow’s suggestion, go ahead! :D

ETA: I figured out how to get Sim’s object ID from Sim’s neighbour ID: put NID into Stack Object, then use prim 2 and set it to Stack Object ID 0x0000 := Neighbor in stack object 0x0000 (person instance id). That way you’ll have Sim OID in Stack Object (you can also use locals instead of Stack Object). Just FYI in case anyone is interested.

lenarosic88 asked:

Out of curiosity,...do you intent/plan to make any new TRAIT based/related mod?

Hi!

I don’t have plans for new trait-based mod. In the fact, I rarely plan my mods ahead. I usually create on a whim. Most likely I will create sooner or later a mod that uses traits, because they really come in handy.

redshark11 asked:

Hi. I want to thank you for creating the Joker and Ivy mods. It's not everyday you get to have your favorite hero or villain's powers in the game lol. I have a question though. I don't know much about the personality trait mods. How do you trigger the Poison Ivy mods? Do I have to become a plant sim for this to work? Do I have to set the trait in create-a-family?

Hi!

The trait can be found in the buy mode in the general/misc category. Buy it and then put into Poison Ivy’s inventory. I’ve been considering making plantsimism as a trigger for Poison Ivy, but then I decided that I prefer separating these. You can always have a plantsim with Poison Ivy trait, after all.

I hope you’re going to enjoy these mods!

[roboticutie]

Treat yourself and learn to say no to yourself. These are hard to do together, but INCREDIBLY POWERFUL once you get the hang of it, whatever that looks like to you.

Find some free hobbies that are also offline. This is not about shaming anyone for how much time they spend with technology or what their budget looks like. This is about having a resource to not feel aimless if you're ever caught off guard by a power outage, or a dead battery, or no cell service, or a migraine making screens painful to look at, or there are no stores or cafes nearby, or any number of things. This hobby can be unconventional if the common ones don't interest you. String games like cats cradle, yo-yo tricks, notebook doodling that doesn't have to be anything else but doodling, really mild yoga that's basically just a stretching routine as an idle animation, weaving or braiding with plant materials like bark and grass, reading pocket survival guides for fun even if you're in a city, collecting fruit stickers in a little pad of paper, building rubber band balls, weaving together hairties, etc. Have SOMETHING to do when you are alone whether by choice or by force.

Build back-up meal plans. Have a default food to fall onto. Always make sure that is somewhere in your cupboards or garden or freezer and able to be accessed when you're broke or you don't feel like cooking. Get used to the idea of a mild undertone of monotony because that is your safety net for adventure or unforeseen negative events in life.

Have a bug-out bag in your closet. A few outfits, maybe copies of ones you know you like to wear, extra cables and ID copies or ideally originals, chapstick and sunscreen you refresh when they expire (make notes in your calendar to remind you WHEN you buy it what it's exp date is), also gloves and a warm hat. Insurance is not betting against yourself, it is ensuring success through hardships. If you can, make the bag bigger than you need for storing things so if you ever have to use it, you have space to toss extra valuables and daily uses in as you go.

EAT A VEGETABLE. You don't have to like it or get it in you in any traditional fashion. Grate carrots into tiny bits to hide in spaghetti sauce like parents do, find a green drink you like to make or buy, bake kale chips, eat green beans out of the can if you don't like them warm. Whatever it looks like to you, it's the right way to do it, because it's getting veggies in you. Studies have confirmed frozen and canned veggies are very nutritional, in some cases frozen are better than grocery store "fresh" depending on farm proximity, eat cheap and eat often.

Do the routine dentist trip. We all hate it. It's important. If you can afford to go, do it at least annually. If you cannot afford to go, shine a flashlight in your mouth and do a self inspection every once in a while. If you can't brush your teeth today, swish toothpaste and water around, suck in back and forth between your teeth, drink water after every meal, and try again tomorrow.

If you feel foggy, lost, or generally irritable: sit in the shower. There is not actually rules for when you can or cannot shower when you have a bathroom. You can shower ANY time of day. You don't even have to do it naked. Brake your chains, shower in a shirt and shorts, don't even have to use soap sometimes if it's just a refresher to get you back into your body. You can even just get in clothed only to take them off once it's started, to get rid of that extra step! Streamline care tasks in a way that works for YOU.

If you're having a hard time getting out of bed: cool down in some fashion. It can be hard to notice if we're overheated in the mornings. Peel the blanket off slowly, take a sip of water, hold a your phone screen or cup or small metal lamp to your forehead or back of the neck and see if you feel less melted. You're also allowed to drag your blanket completely out of bed with you and have it everywhere you go if it's that kind of day. Become a bed worm.

You're not for audience consumption; be weird be cozy be happy.

Also use reminders and alarms for everything you need, ever. One-offs or routines. It's always better to make sure it's done than to expect yourself to do something NOBODY DOES: remember everything in your head. Quit that. You've got new life, new responsibilities, new routines compared to the first 2 decades and then some. Just use an alarm. Your watch, a kitchen timer, your phone alarms, whatever you have that works. It makes life easier when you free up that headspace so your brain can relax and focus on what you're doing now.

Any advice for surviving your 20s?

I've barely started my 20s myself, so I guess you and I are on this road together. I'm comforted by the fact that many, many people have survived their 20s, so there's no reason I can't as well.

[stuartsspot]

Do you have any headcanons from your eaten au 🥺

yes i do !! thanks so much for the ask omg <3 im always looking for an excuse to talk about this au haha

warning for mentions of cannibalism, gore, and 18+ themes below the cut yall, stay safe and minors go away

so here are a couple things i have in mind:

murdoc is a shady low profile private investigator that the handles particularly gruesome cases the local police dont want to handle. stuff that requires the opposite of a delicate hand--that they never want to see the light of day. it's always very under the table

thats how he got put on stuart's case. the police didnt want word of a cannibal causing panic in the town. plus they knew the chances of murdoc just straightup killing the guy weren't exactly zero. which they didnt really mind

murdoc hates the policemen that hire him. he thinks theyre cowards and loves to rub it in their faces that he does the work they cant (or wont) do

murdoc decides to help stuart when he finds him purely on instinct. even he isnt fully sure why he did it, it just felt wrong to turn him in. so what other choice then to help him? (plus theres obviously the bonus of physical attraction and intrigue of the twistedness of it all)

stuart's actually quite a sweet kid for being an actual cannibal. when he's not indulging he pretty much has the same personality as canon. though he does carry a weird intensity with him. his face is kinda uncanny valley-ish, not just cause of his eyes.

stuart first discovered an interest in gore from watching zombie movies when he was younger. his facsination with zombies, and watching them eat brains and flesh, is also what led him to dipping his toes in cannibalism

stuart never really thought through any of his indulgences, in terms of getting rid of evidence or anything like that. he's not careful at all. thats where murdoc's help comes in

murdoc's always had an interest in cooking (partially since he's lived alone nearly his whole life and kinda had to learn how) so murdoc helps stuart cook the meat they bring back from his victims. this makes getting rid of evidence a lot easier

oh and its also definitely a sexual thing for both of them if that wasn't already obvious

murdoc knew he was a sadomasochist and that he had a blood kink well before he met stuart, but their encounter and meeting him in general makes him realize the extent of it

once they team up, murdoc begins to collect a variety of bite mark scars all over his body, all of which are missing a tooth ;)

again tysm for asking !!! i know this was a lot akkfsjdf oops it was kinda a bit of a plot dumb mixed in with hcs

but if anyone has any other hcs or questions, throw them in my ask box id love to hear what yall think !! <3

[zalrb]

OTH 2x15 Rewatch

1. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYYYYYY

2.

3. And it’s not that I don’t understand what Nathan’s mindset is and it’s not that I’m unsympathetic it’s that James’ acting isn’t good so rarely does it seem like he’s going through something, it just seems like general teenage angst and in the back of my head I’m screaming, enough already. Which is my issue with a lot of the acting and/or writing on this show, it lacks nuance and makes a lot of the characters insufferable a lot of the time.

4. “In 1955, students at Tree Hill High School created a time capsule which was to be opened in 50 years. They were simply asked to talk about their lives. Isn’t it interesting how things haven’t changed much?” Yes, except, you know, civil rights. But, details. Amirite?

5. Imagine giving THIS up

for LEYTON.

6. HA.

7. Keith buying Jules a house, men stay buying houses for their love interests in shows.

8. Jules, WHAT is your endgame here? Like how did you see this life going?

9. She didn’t even know your middle name, Lucas.

10. This makes me laugh

You couldn’t just take the picture down, Nathan? BUT IT WOULDN’T BE A STATEMENT.

11. Karen is annoying, but I just don’t like Moira Kelly as an actress, I was happy when they got rid of her on The West Wing.

12. Tim!

13. “Don’t be a dick and drive drunk!” “I’m not even buzzed!” “IT’S STILL AN OPEN CONTAINER!” I think the message here, kids, is that it’s wrong to drive drunk.

14. Jake saying he had to call in a few favours for the breeze and the stars to be perfect for Peyton would be insufferably corny if Bryan and Hilarie didn’t have chemistry and if Bryan’s delivery didn’t hit the right note of banter and casualness, so instead it’s just charming.

15. LMAO you couldn’t even move to the side! EVERYONE WALK AROUND THE TWO TEENAGERS MAKING OUT

16. If this was a basketball town, they would not be arrested. In FNL, Tim goes to a beer store and his fake ID straight up says Sgt. Tim Riggins and the owner is like “Have a nice night, Mr. Riggins” knowing FULL WELL who he is.

17. “Wow, your own mom can’t stand you.” Lol, Nathan.

18. LMAO it took me a minute to get this when I was younger

19. OTH’s favourite word is threatened. “Were you with Chris?” “Why are you threatened by him?” “You’ve been spending time with Taylor.” “Why, are you threatened by her?” “You’re chasing after a father who doesn’t even want you and I’m pathetic?” “Would you just let it go? Why are you so threatened by that?”

20. It bothered me so much that they changed Brooke’s confessional to her showing her boobs.

21. But iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii’m flying so hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

22. Hilarie’s face is priceless

23. I also like this scene because in the commentary Bryan was talking about how Mark wrote this really poetic, long speech for Jake to say about how they should wait and Bryan was like that’s not really who Jake is, why doesn’t he just say “let’s go slow” and Mark doesn’t change the script for anyone but he changed it this time because Bryan was right.

24. I also like this scene because Bryan was like you have this whole “let’s go slow” thing and we’re going at it like rabbits in the next episode!

25. I’M NOT ONE OF THOSE GIRLS. WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? BROOKE???

26. I like how Jake having a daughter means that he’s “way more experienced”, you only have to have sex once to make a baby, guys.

27. BUT THEY’RE SO CUTE

28.

I might lose cool points for listening to your concerns and making you feel safe and comfortable and not pressuring you at all. This is how you know a man wrote this episode, jesus christ.

29. Where is Hilarie Burton from? I always thought I heard an accent in this scene.

30. Ah, Virginia.

31. They’re super lusty though

32. I just wanted Relationship Brucas and Relationship Jeyton AT THE SAME TIME.

33. So, what happened Jules? You were like, Dan, meet me at church? OK.

34. I mean, it’s not like a service is happening and it’s not like anyone else is here, Jules. It’s a conveniently empty church for you two to have this conversation and for the imagery, calm down.

35. “I just ended up here, back in the closet.” WORDPLAY.

36.

I swear, Lucas is the only one who appreciates how funny Brooke actually is 

37. Maybe Julian does, idk.

38. Nathan, these are all your family members, it’s your dad, your uncle, and your mother.

39. I think what it is, is Nathan should be like Connor when Wes died in HTGAWM, like Connor was an asshole during that period and he said some pretty unforgivable things but Jack’s acting made it so clear that Connor was drowning, he was lost, he was sad, guilty

and i’m just getting

40. This is my favourite Nathan/Lucas moment (and when they play basketball later) though because Lucas actually says something REAL as Peyton would say

41. OTH also does something that works with Brooke/Lucas/Felix. When Brooke runs her campaign, Felix tells her to go negative

while Lucas tells her to be honest,

she goes Lucas’ route and it works for her.

He also helps her with her speech by showing her a book with a speech and telling her to just be who she is

At the beginning of this episode, Lucas gives Brooke a book of quotations that has the same speech in there,

while Felix decides to throw her a party.

Brooke gets to the party and realizes that at this moment she’s outgrown that aspect of her life

and when Felix visits her in her room, she’s reading the book that Lucas got her,

which furthers her individual development while also linking it with Lucas. She even starts quoting obnoxiously like he does

This is much stronger writing than Criminal Minds-esque webcam stalking. But Lucas didn’t say ‘your art matters’ so idk.

42. Legit, the only time I feel like they’re brothers.

43. The ending reveal with Whitey would mean something to me if I liked his character.

[hiccanna-tidbits]

okay, okay but hear me out!

Hiccanna, Moanida and Jackunzel (and maybe someone else if u want) going on a holiday trip together (it could be sea or lake or just swimming pool).

And that three couples playing "chicken fight game"~ When u have to sit on partner shoulder or ridding piggy-back and knock down or separate the other couple!

sksksks just imagine the fun and the chaos!! hahaha

Okay SO I recently watched Palm Springs so I’m just imagining The Gang going to like…a fancy pool resort in like Arizona??? SURE LET’S GO WITH THAT

I’m imagining the only resort the gang could afford to stay at is someplace out in the middle of Arizona or something

It takes a LOT of persuading to get Jack to go, because he haaaaates deserts. Rapunzel basically has to beg. Moana finally managed to bribe him with really good homemade ice slushies. (She’s used to making smoothies for Merida, so how hard can slushies be??? Just throw in some ice!)

Rapunzel offers to help Moana with the slushies, since she gave Jack SO many puppy dog eyes to get him to come. Since they’ve got two people working on them, they’re REALLY good slushies. Jack approves.

Anna also tries to convince Elsa to go, but the perpetually-single Elsa is just like “Um, deserts? Sunburns? Being indefinitely stuck with gross couples doing gross couple stuff?!? Yeah no thank you”

Hiccup tries to wake everyone up at like 6 am to go hiking because "that's when the desert iguanas are out guys!!! C'mon, we have to go!!!" Anna is only persuaded to go after Hiccup makes her coffee--she really wants to make her bf happy, but also mornings can suck her dick. Rapunzel is more than happy to go, because she loves mornings anyways!!! And oh my god, IGUANAS!!! Jack, Merida, and Moana are like "oh FUCK no" and put the pillow back over their head, shoo Hiccup away, and go back to sleep.

On their hike, Hiccup just goes "!!!!!!!" about every reptile he sees. Snake, lizard, horny toad, literally anything with scales will send the boy into an excited frenzy. Rapunzel has similar reactions. Anna could not love both of them more.

At one point, they stumble across a gila monster sunbathing, and Rapunzel is overtaken with the unwavering desire to adopt him. She gets Hiccup on board, and he tries to lure the lizard over with a dusty piece of a snake carcass he found (Anna tried to tell him he really shouldn't touch that, but he was not to be swayed and Anna ended up figuring he could just wash his hands really well when they got back). Anna finds herself in the unusual position of having to be the Voice of Reason, having to be like “hey uh I think this might be illegal and stuff??? Also aren't they poisonous???”

(I know what you're thinking. Bold of you to assume Anna knows the difference between poisonous and venomous.)

Rapunzel literally CANNOT stop gushing to Jack about all the wildlife she saw when she gets back! Jackrabbits! Kangaroo rats! Roadrunners! Peccaries! Centipedes! Jack has only mild to moderate interest in desert ecology, but loves hearing his gf gush so he listens attentively anyways. 

Anna and Rapunzel definitely hit up the gift shops in the resort town at some point, and go ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT HOGWILD buying gifts for everyone. They probably max out their credit cards. It's embarrassing, really. But Anna gets Hiccup an absolute shitton of those little wall lizard things and he nearly cries tears of joy when he sees them, so it's all worth it, really.

Moana will not leave the pool like. The entire time. The girl is just obsessed with being in the water, honestly. She gets restless, though, and can't just stand in the pool and vibe--she needs to constantly be moving and swimming around or she'll explode. Merida is more than happy to indulge her by hanging out in the poor with her, but Merida is also constantly challenging her to swim races--a very dumb idea, considering Moana is on the high school swim team and water polo team. Merida, naturally, is an extremely sore loser and is not above excessive pouting, splashing, yelling in angry Scottish, and dunking her girlfriend in revenge. It's at least entertaining for all of their friends to watch.

Jack keeps fucking taking huge buckets of ice from the ice machine and dumping them in the pool. At first he only does this because he keeps griping about the pool not being cold enough (this boy will accept nothing less than sitting in the goddamn arctic ocean), but after her figures out that it pisses off his friends, he takes to pouring said ice directly over their heads. Merida has threatened to murder him several times for this.

Hiccup and Anna's main pool activity is just lazing around on their pool floaties (Anna has a duck one, Hicccup has a dragon one because obviously), sipping cocktails, and just generally vibing. Through some ungodly mixture of pure charisma and a fake ID that Rapunzel helped photoshop, Jack manages to talk his way into getting the whole group access to alcohol. Hiccup is a sangria or Moscow Mule kinda guy while Anna usually gets a Pina Colada or a Sex on the Beach (she's aspec, so she literally will not stop joking about the irony of this). Merida makes a game out of attempting to tip over their floaties and dunk them. Jack, chaos gremlin that he is, puts aside his usual rivalry with Merida to join in. They have a surprisingly strong dunking alliance.

Hiccup and Anna try to form a syndicate of their own, and try to lounge on the same floatie so that they can protect each other while fighting off Jack and Merida together. Unfortunately neither of their floaties were made to hold 2 peoples' weight, so the one they're on ends up tipping over, spilling their cocktails everywhere and dunking them anyways. Jack and Merida consider this a Win By Default.

Moana of course loops everyone into playing water polo at some point. Unfortunately some idiot decided it would be a good idea to let Merida of all people pick the teams, which means of course that they are incredibly rigged. It's Moana, Merida and Anna vs. Jack, Rapunzel, and Hiccup, so basically The Jocks vs. The Nerds (although admittedly Anna is more of a softcore jock--she's nowhere near on Moana or Merida's level, but she's still more naturally athletic than Hiccup, Rapunzel, or Jack). Naturally, Jock Team absolutely whoops Nerd Team's ass. Jack gets salty and demands a rematch. ...Jock Team kicks Nerd Team's ass again.

Throughout all of this, no one thinks to just...rearrange the teams a little. Merida was counting on this. All according to plan.

In the titular chicken game (yes, I remembered, don't worry!), it's Merida on Moana's shoulders (Moana swims and has a lot of upper body strength, what can I say?), Hiccup on Anna's shoulders (I mean...Hiccup's a twig, and Anna HAS to have a fair amount of upper body strength from throwing busts around and punching men off boats and such), and Punz on Jack's shoulders (Jack's pretty lithe and good at keeping his balance while jumping around, so he's their best candidate for not just falling over).

Jack and Rapunzel actually manage to stay in the game longer than anyone expects--their primary strategy is “be good at dodging and staying out of the way while Merida and Hiccup duke it out.” And it works! As limber as Hiccup is, Anna's not nearly as coordinated as Jack and is no match for Moana's sturdy footing. Also, neither Anna nor Hiccup are prepared for how goddamn ruthless and determined to win Merida is. Even though they really, really should have been. I mean...have you met Merida???

When it comes down to Merida-Moana and Rapunzel-Jack, Mer feels a little bad for having to go up against Pure Sweet Punzie. Unfortunately, Rapunzel turns out to be a very hardcore fighter when she puts her mind to it, and Merida is much more evenly matched than she initially thought and realizes she must use her Full Power. It definitely helps her snap out of Going Soft when Jack starts brutally roasting Merida in particular (as per usual). Merida gets a rage-fueled Second Wave, and finally manages to knock Rapunzel over in one foul swoop. Merida and Moana are victorious!

Moana and Merida basically always shower together after a day at the pool. They claim it's because they both know how to handle curly hair in chlorine, and just like to wash each other's hair, but the rest of the gang is pretty sure that's not all that's going on in there.

One day, Anna hits up the resort town alone to buy some kind of secret gifts for her friends with what little money she has left (this girl seriously has no chill when it comes to buying presents).  She goes past this huge, fancy ice cream shop and she's like “!!!! OMG!!! I'm gonna surprise all my buddies with pints of their faves!!!” She just gets super hyped and buys everyone ice cream, getting so caught up in the thrill of it that she forgets that she'll have to like. Drive all this back all the way back to the resort in the rental car. In like. You know. 110+ degree weather.

By the time she gets back to the resort, the ice cream is, of course, goop. Poor Anna, feeling incredibly dumb and like an utter failure of a friend, just kind of bursts into tears. Like damn. This is too much. She was gonna make all her pals so happy, and all for naught! Jack just kinda shrugs and throws all the melted ice cream cartons in the freezer anyways. Once they're (partially) re-frozen, Rapunzel and Moana make slushies with them. They actually come out pretty decent. Anna is substantially cheered up.

Moana prepares some tropical fruit platters for everyone to snack on. Rapunzel tries to “improve” them by adding chocolate sauce and nutella to half of them. Sometimes it works (I mean...bananas and strawberries with chocolate and/or nutella is pretty solid). Other times it just tastes...very weird. Merida gest frustrated and yells at Rapunzel for “ruining all of her girlfriend's good mangoes.”

Jack just thinks this whole thing is so funny, and decides to swap the chocolate sauce with barbecue sauce to cause further chaos. Absolute mayhem ensures. Everyone has a bad time. Except for Anna, who apparently is just a freak who enjoys eating pineapple slices dipped in barbecue sauce.

At some point, Merida gets really drunk on appletinis or some shit and signs the entire group up for a local archery competition. Much to everyone's chagrin, it's no refunds. Naturally, basically everyone sans Merida does terrible. Rapunzel and Hiccup very nearly shoot themselves, while Jack and Anna come very close to  accidentally shooting a group of referees (although Jack might have done this on purpose). Moana gets the farthest, if only because Merida's taught her how to shoot a bow at some point. Merida actually ends up winning--although unfortunately, the prize is $20 and a very cheap plastic trophy (which Merida STILL manages to find a way to break before the trip is even over).

The rest of the group is much more amicable to the concept of going on hikes when said hikes are in the evening. Hiccup and Rapunzel are still excitedly chattering about the local ecosystems the entire time, and Jack and Anna are just kind of looking at their nerdy SOs like “<3 <3 <3″ Moana and Merida, meanwhile, are just kinda vibing in the back, passively listening in and watching the desert sunset.

Rapunzel manages to capture Mer and Mo's interest and gets them to participate more with geology, of all things. Merida just thinks rocks are cool (especially when they can be thrown at people bothering her!), while Moana likes learning about the physical history of places--how water can carve out landscapes, and all that. Hiccup and Jack just kind of exchange a look like “I had no idea that they were into rocks, but...the more you know, I guess???”

Jack makes fun of every reptile they see, mainly to piss Hiccup off. Unfortunately it has the opposite effect, and Hiccup can't help but be entertained--mainly because Jack's insults are so weirdly specific and over-the-top that they loop around to being hilarious. Seriously, he keeps saying shit like “Those are the lamest scales I've ever seen. Absolutely drab, and not nearly shiny enough to prove that nature is beautiful. 0/10.” and “Ohhhh, this fucking rattlesnake think's he's so scary, with his dumb percussion instrument tail!!! I could be more intimidating with a mean look and a large pair of maracas!”

At some point, a bunch of tourists riding donkeys pass them. Anna, Rapunzel, and Merida just absolutely lose their shit fangirling over how cute the donkeys are, thus exposing all three of them as the unabashed Horse Girls they are. Hiccup, Jack, and Moana find this extremely amusing, and definitely aren't above teasing their girlfriends about it. Hiccup asks if next time they take a couples' vacation, the Horse Gang (as Moana insists on nicknaming them) would like to go to a ranch instead.

Anna gets like. Obsessed with palm trees. Like they're just so pretty and exotic and tropical!!! OMG!!! And they definitely don't have them wherever the gang is from in this AU. (Also if griping about Elsa not having "tropical powers" is anything to go by, she DOES canonically like the tropics!) She has to take a picture of like...every palm tree on her phone. And considering the gang is in Arizona, that means Anna is stopping to take a picture like...every 2 minutes. Rapunzel catches onto the fact that Anna likes them, and paints her a picture with some when Punz has the time. Anna definitely cries when she sees it. Hiccup can't do nearly that good, but he does buy her some little plastic figurine ones in a gift shop that she can put in her room. Anna also cries about this. She just cries whenever any of her friends indulge her random fixation on palm trees. Surely she doesn't deserve such niceties!!!

Rapunzel is just. In love with the desert landscape tbh. Like the huge funky cacti!!! The shrubs!!! The desert wildflowers!!! The mesas!!! All of it!!! So of course she needs to pull out her easel and paint it. Jack walks by one day and sees her working on it and, partly just to troll her, he's like “put some snow in it!” As he walks away, Rapunzel just stops like “wait...that'd actually be such a great idea for a surrealist-type fantasy piece!!!” After she finishes the main landscape, she adds an overcoat of little puffs of snow on top of everything, and has some clumps falling off of the cacti. When she shows Jack, he just about cries tears of joy, but frantically tries to hide it. She gives the painting to him as a present at the end of the trip. He hangs that shit front-in-center in his room and cherishes it forever and ever.

At some point, Jack gets the ingenious idea that he's going to prank Merida by catching a tarantula and leaving it in her room. It's one of the harmless ones--Jack fact-checks this by offhandedly asking Hiccup and framing it as a casual interest in local etymology. Still, Merida screams far louder than is at all dignified, and also probably loud enough to wake a neighboring country. Rapunzel later has to physically hold Merida back to keep her from absolutely beating Jack into a pulp. Rapunzel also manages to get the World's Largest Sheet of Cardboard and the World's Largest Cup and somehow manages to get the damn thing back outside.

[muuurder]

I can agree that there are a lot of ways the story could play out and Honestly I wish we had gotten a second film playing into it (but courtesy of fucky directors not giving credit where it’s due we don’t). I will disagree on some of this though, I don’t think Brahms is exactly “twisted” he’s human and the original look for Brahms did involve facial scarring from untreated burns. I’ll have to grab a picture. (Edit: nevermind I am boo boo the fool and got my media mixed up again. Lol. I just really like Brahms with intense facial scarring from burning and general medical neglect)

I particularly view brahm’s obsession with Greta more like a parasocial relationship in the same way people now will feel extremely attached and bonded to influencers/celebrities/ etc. he’s viewing her life and for him he knows her.

I’ve mentioned this before but I believe Brahms has borderline personality disorder and autism. I made a post on it (and I’ll admit the original post we are on is a bit outdated in my views I’ve just been busy and feel out of my hyperfixation lol). But I don’t think even with Greta leaving he would have killed Malcolm. Malcolm is his only ticket for food, and while Brahms is childish and age regressing to get his needs met (courtesy of his fuck of a parents) he is extremely smart. He’s well read and keeps himself very busy.

I’ll also say it again, Brahms wasn’t a murdered as a child. 8 years cannot conceptualize death let alone fake their own to get out of shit and if he killed Emily cripps it was accidental. His parents I think are the true monsters in the story. Even if he had harmed her intentionally like, he wouldn’t have been locked away. He would have received help. But his parents chose to lock him in the house’s walls, and likely attempted to get rid of him. It was no secret they clearly had resentment, regret, and lost hope for him even after enabling his behavior.

He has no boundaries we know that for sure and he’s insanely strong but I really don’t think he’s violent in nature. Because what happened with cole, Greta and Malcolm. Mama that was a high stress moment. I have the theory Greta is his FP (it’s a phenomenon with BPD. You basically become obsessive over one person and base your entire being on them. It’s. A nightmare for everyone involved id know. I have BpD) but I think Brahms had a tunnel rage moment and everything after was damage control and a bpd tantrum as he desperately tried to keep her around. Because even after her return again he had no intention of harming her and if he was gonna kill Malcolm he would have already. But despite everything he doesn’t want to harm anyone tbh. He just wants to live his life. And tragically his parents fucked him over in that respect. I think anything relationship wise between Greta and Brahms would be wildly toxic for both parties. As she’s not equipped to help him in anyway besides enabling his troubling behavior, and then him not being put in place over his tantrums. He’s not a child. He’s 35, and while it’s alright to maintain childish elements in how you behave. The outbursts, tantrums, and possession issues would need massive fixing.

Brahms go to therapy challenge. Same with Greta. Same with Malcolm.

I also think it’s interesting Malcolm only began posing questions of the ghost being evil when he got cock blocked lol.

I do think it’d be interesting to see how the situation would have went if maybe Brahms had like cast cole out rather than killed him? Because that’s what really sent Greta into a frenzy. But Greta isn’t the best final girl lol.

Sorry if my thoughts are a bit garbled but I’m moving so I’m stressed lol.

So…. I want to discuss this scene.

A lot of people say he whole ass was trying to drag her away. And fucking you can see the way he was moving and holding her that wasn’t the intention at all. He barely even moves backwards and it seems just repositioned himself. His arms wrap around her shoulder in a protective hold. He’s trying to calm her down and misreads the entire fucking environment.

Because to him? They’ve spent 3 months together. She asked for his help and clearly began to care for him (albeit it was only after she convinced herself the doll held the ghost of a dead child and she went mom mode.) so to him? They are close. He’s allowed in her personal space entirely (although I don’t think boundaries are on his mind ever at any point.) she thinks he’s going to hurt her but he was doing damage control.

Also the fact malcolm konked his fucking head, and he sTILL GOT UP AND WAS CONSCIOUS? like damn. I’d fucking cry.

[sokkas-honour]

for spotify wrapped: #7 and zuko?

checkmate - zuko x reader

pairing: modern!zuko x fem!reader

wc: 4.3k

warning: parties, alcohol, vomiting, kind of cheating, lmk if i’m missing smth

notes: the party in here is a kind of based off the ones i’ve gone to so they might be drastically different than they actually are lmao. if a character is very ooc for you, please lmk, i’m often scared that i differ too much from who they actually are. also i loved writing this and have been working on it for days.

-

you think you're funny right? calling me drunk when it's too late at night

he sat at his desk, book open as he studied for his earth kingdom history test late that saturday night when he received a call. he wasn’t very interested in answering but he reconsidered when he saw your name as the caller id. with a sigh he clicked accept.

“heyyyy zuzuuuu.” your words slurred through the phone when he finally picked up. voice sounding somewhat absent as lyrics from whatever song was on played in the background. you must’ve been yelling into the phone as the music seemed to playing rather loudly.

“hey y/n.” zuko sighed but still greeted you, a small smile forming on his lips at the fact that he was talking to you.

“did you knowww that you’re kinda cute?” you asked, a loud giggle escaping your lips at your drunken confession.

“thanks y/n.” a blushed spread accros his cheeks at your compliment.

“zuzzuuuuuuuuuu, come to the party. pleasseee.” you begged, your words starting to slur even more as you pleaded for your friend to come to the gathering.

“where are you right now?” he asked, realising that he hadn’t heard of any party during the week and hadn’t seen anything in their group chat. he had absolutely no idea where you were and who you were with.

“jet’s place. he invited me to his party with his friends.” you explained, practically shouting into the phone as the music behind you blared.

“did you go alone?” he pushed for more information, concern growing as you explained the situation. he’d heard rumours on things jet had previously done around campus and even in high school, none of it sounded any good and it rose all of his red flags.

“well no, with jet.” you stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“i mean with someone from our friendgroup.” he clarified, remembering that your drunken self probably wasn’t exactly thinking much.

“nope.” you popped the ‘p’ as you cheerily responded which earned a sigh from the firenation boy.

“what’s jet’s address? i’ll be there soon.” he concluded. he’d come to get you and let you spend the night at his place since you seemed a bit too drunk to be trusted to be left alone.

“he texted me roku valley number 35? i think? it’s this huge house.” you seemed to have sobered up as you told him where you were.

“i’ll be there in less than 15 minutes.” he informed the drunken girl and started grabbing his keys.

“see you zuuuzuuuu.” he heard you say but you didn’t hang up so he didn’t either, figuring you probably wanted to say something else.

right as he was about to grab his jacket, he heard a discussion between jet and yourself and grabbed the phone, and put it on speaker to be able to know exactly what was happening.

“hey y/n, you enjoying yourself.” jet asked, seeming to have not been affected by any alcohol yet. unbeknownst to zuko, he had handed you a bottle of beer which didn’t take you long to finish.

“yeah, i even got a friend to come.” you excitedly responded as you continued to drink.

zuko listened intently as he left his apartment to get to his car, he threw his phone in the passengers seat and started his car as another distinctive voice came up into the phone.

“so what about you and that firenation boy.” jet asked, this time no music was blaring but the voices were just muffled as your phone was in a pocket of yours. the no music meant that you had stepped out of the main room and you were probably alone with the boy.

at the realisation, zuko sped up, the roads were practically empty so he didn’t bother anyone as he couldn’t wait to come and get you.

“zuzu?” he hadn’t been paying much attention to your conversation with jet as he focused on the road ahead but the mention of his caused him to pay half attention to the call.

“i dont know. he’s like my best friend y’a know.” you explained to the boy after he had nodded, zuko deducted the last part.

he decided to just hang up as he was getting closer to his destination and before he knew it, he was in front of the house where the party took place. he parked rather hazardly on the sidewalk but he wasn’t going to be there for long, a simple get in, find you, and get out.

when he opened the door, some random generic pop song was blaring and a crowd of people were all in the center of the room, drunkenly dancing around. he had to push a path for himself to try and find you but it was a bit hard considering it was perfectly lit.

“zuko?” he heard the familiar voice of haru, a fellow classmate with whom he had shared classes with in his sophomore year of college.

“hey haru, have you seen y/n?” he didn’t feel like small talk as he was concerned for you. thankfully for him, haru seemed to pick up a small stress in his words and pointed to the kitchen with his head.

“thanks.” zuko smiled and quickly left to the direction that the earth kingdom boy had said. when he finally found it, it was practically empty apart from two people who seemed like they were about to indulge in a make out session and his eyes widened when he was able to recognise you. he’d recognise you anywhere.

“you mind leaving?” apparently he hadn’t been very discreet as the boy, who he saw was jet, moved his head to glare at the newcomer. interested, you turned around, your back now facing jet and you grinned.

“zuko!” your excitedly exclaimed, quickly leaving jet’s grip and skipped to your friend happily. to any sober person, your skipping was a mix of jumping and almost falling, and in any other circumstance, zuko would’ve found it adorable.

“hey y/n/n.” he was a tad bit surprised as you wrapped your arms around his waist but relaxed when you slightly cuddled into his chest.

“nicely played scar boy. nicely played.” jet gritted through his teeth at the fact that zuko had just taken the girl he had been flirting with away from him.

“jet that’s mean, zuko’s scar is very pretty to me.” you mumbled, not loud enough for the person that you actually wanted to hear it but loud enough for zuko to hear and it made his heart race.

telling me truths that you know all are lies, yeah, you think you're funny right?

the car ride home was quiet from both sides, zuko focused on the road while you went in and out of sleep.

when he finally parked near his apartment, he got out of the car and when he went to help you, he saw you were already out but slightly leaning against the car as you were tired.

“see zuzu? i’m not that drunk.” you gave him your signature drunken smile, earning a chuckle from him as he wrapped his hand around your waist to help you stand up.

he kept it around you as he you went up the two flights of stairs and he been kept it around you as he opened the door. you almost sprinted to bathroom as soon as the door was open, feeling the contents of the night come up.

concerned, zuko quickly shut his door and went after you. his heart broke slightly when he saw you leaned over the sink, a weak hand holding your hair back as you body ridded itself of whatever was in its stomach. he leaned down, wrapped a solid hand around your hair and rubbed circles on your back as you kept going.

when you finally felt like your stomach was completely empty, you rose your hand slightly. eyes red and cheeks puffy, you tried to give zuko some sort of joking grin but you were only met with a concerned face.

he let go of your hair and filled up a nearby cup of water and handed it you while you sat on the ground, not feeling like getting up just yet.

“spirits y/n, how much did you drink?” he bent down to your level, hand on your knee and worried eyes staring in yours.

“don’t know.” you shrugged your shoulders before slowly sipping the water.

“i guess you can tell me tomorrow morning, after you’ve rested a bit alright?” he suggested, taking the now empty cup from your hand and placing it on the sink counter. he extended his hand towards you to help you stand up and you gladly took it.

you let him guide you to his bedroom. you took a seat on his bed and absentmindedly stared at the wall in front of you as zuko grabbed a pair of his sweatpants and a shirt for you to sleep in. you staring got interrupted as you felt the clothes land on you, turning around, you saw a small smirk on his face.

“how kind zuko.” you seemed to have somewhat sobered up, throwing a playful grin his direction as he turned around to let you change in privacy.

“once you’re done, i’ll just grab a thing or two and go to the living room.” he explained, meaning he was giving you the bed.

“no zuko stay, it’s fine.” you crawled to the other side of the bed in his clothes to grab his hand, trying to get him to stay.

“you sure? don’t want you throwing up on me.” he joked, earning a slap on the arm from you as you moved back to the other side of the bed to give him some space.

you had taken your phone out of your pocket and were scrolling through it as you waited for zuko to get ready.

‘had fun tonight, see you tomorrow evening? 7pm?’ you texted jet, hoping you could finish whatever you started.

‘cant wait’ was his response that came almost immediately. a smirk on your face, you shut off your phone and placed it face down on the night table next to the bed as zuko entered the room.

“who were you texting?” he asked, eyebrow raised in questioning.

“no one, just scrolling through insta.” you lied, a reassuring smile on your face as he took his spot next to you. you mumbled one last thing before placing your head on the pillow and passing out. it wasn’t loud but you made sure that it was loud enough for zuko hear it. “i love you.”

you think you're super sly, flirting with them but telling me you're mine,

zuko woke up before you, smiling at your adorable soft snoring. he knew you were going to have one hell of a hangover so he prepared the ibuprofen and the glass of water, and set it on the night table closest to you before heading to the kitchen. he figured that he might as well make breakfast for the two of you, knowing that you’d be ravenous as you had been the multiple times you’d spent the night.

the boy found himself falling asleep next to you at least a couple of times a month, this being the third in two weeks. you two had never defined your relationship but you were both there for each other. he often found himself taking a drunk you home, wether it be from a random campus party or a little get together with friends. he didn’t mind, he loved spending time with you.

he got out the pan, the eggs and the bacon. that was something he knew how to cook and it was your favourite post-drunk breakfast, you always claimed that his bacon and eggs were the best.

while he was cooking the bacon, he heard some rustling from his room and a small knowing smile spread accross his face. he could hear the floorboard creek as you stepped out of the room and arrived practically directly in the kitchen.

you had woken up to an empty bed but to a heavenly smell. once you saw zuko in the kitchen being the cause for the delicious aroma that had filled the appartment, you rubbed the last of the sleep out of your eyes and walked towards him. you thought he looked adorable as he cooked so you wrapped your arms around him and cuddled into his back. you knew exactly what this did to him.

“good morning sleepy head.” he greeted you, heart racing a bit at your proximity. zuko desperately wanted to turn around to kiss you good morning but opted for keeping his attention on your breakfast.

“good morning.” you mumbled into his shirt, too lazy to remove your head from its comfortable position which earned a small chuckle from the raven haired boy. you could feel it in his chest.

“sleep well?” he asked as you moved your head so that only your chin was against his back, letting your just stare at the ceiling.

“like a baby.” your morning voice prevented you from saying it normally so it came out more as a rasp than anything.

“figured as such, you passed out as soon as i turned off the lights. how’s the hangover?” concerned laced in the last part, moving the eggs from the pan to a plate that he had already prepared.

“better than expected, i’ll take the pill after i eat something.” you explained, trying to clear your throat in order to have a bigger range of voice.

“mind unlatching yourself? breakfast is ready.” he explained as he placed the final bacon on the two plates then turned off the stove. you reluctantly removed your arms, a small pout forming on your lips.

when zuko turned around, a plate in each hand, he laughed a bit at your childish expression but still leaned a bit down to place his lips against yours as he wanted to when you first stepped into the room.

you smiled into the kiss and it replaced the pout even after he broke it in order to place the two plates on opposites sides of the two tables. you decided to make yourself useful and went to grab the silverware.

the majority of the meal was spent in silence, a couple of giddy smiles and compliments on the food were exchanged but a conversation didn’t pick up until you were about to finish the last of your eggs.

“did jet do anything last night.” so that’s what zuko was thinking about during the meal.

“no he didn’t zuko, i wouldn’t have let him anyway. i may be drunk but i’m not dumb.” you explained, telling a small white lie in order to reassure your friend. jet and you were about to make out but zuko didn’t have to know that, even if he saw the position you two were in, it was possible to lie about the intentions.

“you sure? didn’t seem like nothing when i found you.” he sipped his water as he doubted your previous statement.

“i was a bit nervous so he was kind enough to talk me out of the funk i was in.” you lied through your teeth but kept a genuine comforting smile, even extending your hand onto the table in order for him to grab it.

“what were you nervous about? since you seem to remember last night pretty well.” he looked at your hand but refrained from bringing his up to yours.

“i only remember bits and pieces zuzu. and don’t know really, i was probably nervous about you.” you bit your lip, waiting to see zuko’s reaction to your wild claim. as you expected, his eyes widened in shock and blushed.

“me? why would you be nervous about me?” he stuttered a bit in the beginning, his heartrate picking up your confession. zuko had been head over heels for you ever since he saw you in his first class of his sophomore year, and he wished more than anything that you two would get together.

“don’t know, maybe it has something to do with that beautiful face of yours.” you brought your mug of tea that he had made up to your lips to hide your small smirk but you still sent a wink in his direction. you loved watching his whole face illuminate and his cheeks grow redder.

“oh.” was all he managed to say, too stunned to say anything. zuko had been in multiple relationships before, boys and girls, but none of them ever drove him as crazy as you did.

the rest of the morning was spent by helping him do the dishes along with a bit of cuddling on the couch as the news served as background noise. sadly, an alarm rang from your phone, reminding you that you had somewhere to go. time to kill and get ready before your little rendezvous.

“do you have to go?” zuko mumbeld, not wanting you to leave his embrace.

“yeah i set a reminder to remember to start studying for the math final.” you explained, slightly unwrapping yourself from his grip.

“that’s in a long time y/n.” zuko rose an eyebrow in confusion, unwrapping his arms from your waist to let you get up.

“yeah but i’ve been falling behind and need to catch up by myself.” you explained, grabbing your phone and put it into the pocket of the sweatpants you were wearing and you realised you were still in zuko’s clothes.

“you don’t mind me keeping your clothes that i’m wearing right? i’ll change once i get home.” you gave him your best puppy dog eyes in order to convince him to let you keep his comfy clothes.

“of course, you look hot in them. also, feel free to leave your old clothes here for the next time you crash for the night.” he eyed you up and down, loving how adorable you looked in his clothes. it wasn’t the first time he saw you in them, the number of times you needed new clothes after a party was so high he lost track. you usually kept them but returned some.

“why thank you zuko.” you teased, grabbing your coat that he had placed delicately on top of an armchair.

“see you soon?” he wishfully asked hoping you two could go out together sometime as you were about to leave the room.

“you can count on it pretty boy.” you sent him a small smirk before shutting the door behind you. behind the door was a lovestruck boy that finally had his chance.

building me up, but buttercup you lied, now in gonna ruin your life,

a couple of weeks after that night, zuko and you had spent a couple of afternoons together and zuko savoured every minute of them. you were supposed to meet him and the rest of the gaang at a coffee shop but everyone had already finished their drinks and you still hadn’t showed up.

“you sure she’s going to show up zuko? it’s y/n.” sokka took zuko out of his constant glancing at his phone to check for any messages from you. you were somewhat notorious for showing up to friend dates later then the decided time.

“she said she would be there, y/n promised me she’d be there today.” the boy insisted, opting to stare out the window when he spotted katara placing her head on aang’s shoulder.

“she’s over an hour late, let’s just head back to our place and ask her to meet us there?” aang suggested after placing a small kiss on his girlfriend’s forehead.

“yeah zuko, i love y/n just as much as you but she might just have gotten caught up with something.” toph shrugged her shoulders, trying to help everyone convince the raven haired boy to just leave the coffee shop.

“i guess you’re right. let’s go.” zuko turned his head from his outdoor gazing and smiled to his friends who all cheered a bit before everyone grabbed their jackets.

everyone walked in pairs to take up less space on the sidewalk on the way to katara’s, toph’s and aang’s apartment. zuko found himself walking side by side with suki who was talking to him about a recent goof that sokka recently made. he felt bad for not fully paying attention but he couldn’t help thinking about why you didn’t show up or even text him. you never came late to any of your dates so why be late now.

all of a sudden, he bumped into toph who had stopped walking, apparently everyone stopped walking for some reason but he was so engrossed in his thoughts he didn’t realise it.

“why did we stop.” he asked, turning his head into the direction that everyone was staring in. he squinted his eyes, trying to see what everyone was seeing.

“jet.” sokka said through gritted teeth, narrowing his eyes in the direction of the aftermentiononed boy. zuko finally spotted him, katara’s short lived highschool romance who supposedly ended badly. he had heard some rumours around campus but other than that, it seemed like a bad highschool experience.

“oh no.” he heard those two words slip out of sukis mouth as he saw who jet was with, he would recognise you from anywhere. he saw jet whispering something into your ear which earned a giggle from you before leaning in to peck his lips.

“how about we go this way.” aang nervously suggested as everyone spotted you, not wanting to make this too uncomfortable for anyone but it was too late, zuko’s heart dropped at the sight.

“yeah, sounds good to me.” he managed to say, swallowing hard as he couldn’t take his eyes off of the similar way you acted with jet. the look you gave him was the same, he thought it was reserved for him.

cause ive gotten tired of the games that you play, when you tell me you love me then you throw me away,

when he got him that night, realisation dawned on him. every time you left a bit early, claiming to go study or go see friends, you were probably lying. it solidified when he received a text from you, probably apologising for being late because you didn’t seem to notice your whole friend group down the street from you.

‘hey zuzu, i’m so sorry but not making it today. i got caught up with this highschool friend i ran into.’

the text basically aggravated him, he saw the reason why you were late and receiving a text for you lying about why you weren’t there. he decided not to bother to respond and basically just find a way to release his agression. opting not to make his phone a victim of his anger, he grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at the wall.

‘we still on for friday night? at that really good firenation restaurant?’ he heard his phone ding with a message from you right after he picked up the poor pillow that had suffered so much.

zuko was about to call you to confront you but then it hit him, you were just playing with him, you were just playing with jet. you probably only saw him as a friend but noticed his obvious feelings and decided to toy with him, or maybe that’s just what you did with everyone.

you two never actually said that you were both a thing, which is probably your excuse for all of this. but there was one thing you didn’t realise, and it was that two people could play at this game.

‘of course, see you at around six pm at zheng-ho’s delicacies?’ he smirked slightly when he got your enthusiastic text back, agreeing to meet him then and there.

the only thing left was to bring someone else into this game, someone who had previously been apart of his life in the beginning of college. she probably wouldnt mind a small rekindling without any real commitment.

he searched for her name in his contacts and clicked on it, realising it had been a while since he had contacted his sisters friend and his old girlfriend.

‘hey mai, i know it’s been awhile but wanna meet up at around five this friday?’ and sent, your single player game was now a multiplayer one.

so cry me a river 'til you drown in the lake, cause you may think you're winning but checkmate,

the rest of the gaang decided to avoid the topic during the week, letting the tension between the two of you be resolved on your own. you of course were unaware of them seeing you with jet, and even more unaware that zuko saw you kiss him, so you kept flirting with him, feeling a bit down when he didn’t always reciprocate it.

so now you stood, in front of zheng-ho’ delicacies at exactly six pm, waiting for your date with zuko. if anyone asked you, you’d say you felt a bit bad about dragging zuko into your games but it entertained you, it kept you on your toes.

you recognised the firenation boy across the street thanks to his scar. but who you didn’t recognise was the girl with long black hair that was holding his hand. he looked down at her and placed his hand on her cheek to lean down and kiss her. the action making your blood boil, what the hell was he doing.

you took your phone out to pretend you didn’t see anything, only lifting it when your heard his footsteps next to you.

“hey y/n.” he greeted you as you lifted your head with a small smile, lifting yourself up slightly to kiss him, taking him by surprise.

“good evening zuzu.” your hand immediately went to grab his, trying to show him that you had the upper hand in whatever game he was playing. you didn’t know that he saw your kiss with jet, you didn’t know that he had figured out your little game.

“shall we.” he unlachted his hands from yours, holding the door open for you with a smirk onto his face, knowing you were shaken by the change of power dynamic in whatever game you were both now playing.

yeah you may think you're winning but checkmate.

general taglist: @butterfly-skinnylegend

zuko taglist: @duh-dobrik

atla taglist: @missmorosis @draqondance @biqherosix @firelady-jay @welovediaaxx

[lizacstuff]

SCK episode 46 asks!

Hi folks, below the read more you'll find a smattering of asks about this week's episode as well as a few spoilers for 47.

Good asks this week:

(under the cut)

Anonymous asked: this may be superficial of me, but why are they dressing Serkan in such ugly tops? they finally brought Eda's hair back but now this

BWAH! You're not wrong. You know what I'm wondering, if they've put him in some of those outfits because they are showing his suburban dad side? It's kind of a subtle nod to him embracing father hood and a different way of life? He's now all about running around the yard after his daughter and not about what he looks like when he's being SERKAN BOLAT, FAMOUS BUSINESS MAN and WORLD'S BEST ARCHITECT.

Also, Eda's hair, thank goodness they let that go once the flashbacks were over and we didn't need something to distinguish between then and now! Those curly bangs were not it.

Anonymous asked: They built up the Edser chemistry soooooo well throughout the episode... for that ending? Who decided to cut it there?! The scene was BEAUTIFUL I’m actually upset lol. are not we going to see any more? I’m not asking for a sex scene, I wanted to see THE moment they decided to get back together (the tattoo line doesn’t do it for me) - a few words, tears as they embrace, him walking through the door as she closes it, one passionate kiss, something! But it doesn’t feel like a cliffhanger that continues next week. I’ll be so underwhelmed when they cut to the morning after and we have to infer that they got back together overnight *sigh* if they were allowed 1 kiss only, id rather it have been here instead of ep 2

We do deserve to see how they reconcile, that should be one of the biggest moments of the season after 7 episodes of build up to it.

90% of final scenes in this show have continued uninterrupted the next week. To me there's no reason to think the next episode won't pick up right where this one left off. Crossing fingers!

Anonymous asked: It just hit me that Serkan is the “Kiraz” for Kemal - but Kemal actually missed his child’s whole 35 years 😬 this is an interesting turn of events. Also that line Serkan said about how fathers should love their child’s mother and how he didn’t have that with his own parents....but his real dad does love Aydan, more than she deserves haha.

Oh so true! Kemal really does love his mother more than she deserves! How he puts up with her, I don't know.

The parallel between Serkan/Kemal and Kiraz/Serkan is strong and I hope it gives Serkan some perspective when he starts grappling with this knowledge. I'm sure it's going to be very disconcerting for him, because while he expected to never see his father again, Alptekin is still his father. He's still the man who raised him and formed him into the man he is. Serkan still runs the company he founded and bears his name.

I don't expect any of that to change, but hopefully he can forge a separate relationship with Kemal that might fill some emotional holes that he has and bring him some peace.

None of that even contemplates how Kemal will feel, thankfully Aydan didn't willfully hide the truth from him. How awful to realize you lost 35 years.

We aren't there yet, but I wonder at what age with Kiraz learn the truth, that her dad is not an astronaut, that her parents went through hell with with cancer and plane crashes, and that her father didn't know of her existence until right before they met?

Just something to think about.

Anonymous asked: i'm so happy for hanker, don't get me wrong, and i'm also so happy we get "together" edser for so many episodes until the end, but i'm already tired of the constant "hanker improvising" comments i know i will be seeing. not that they don't improvise in some scenes, but i just know that every romantic edser scene is gonna be analyzed to hell bc ppl want to look for hanker in them. like there's no possible way that ayse, the writer ppl hate the most, could write any romantic scenes.. nope no way!

Yes, this is one of my pet peeves, I can't stand the "Edser left the chat" and all the "that's Hanker, not Edser" type conversation. it's so invasive and most of all disrespectful to not only the writers, but Hande and Kerem and all the work they pour into bringing Eda and Serkan to life.

One of the things in fandom that sets my teeth on edge is when folks take some interpretation of the character by the actor and then decide because it wasn't "scripted" (pro tip the vast majority of physical movements the actors make are "unscripted") that it must just be the actors themselves and have nothing to do with the characters. What an embarrassing and naïve assertion. Actors literal job is to take what's on the page and then translate that. So, no, OF COURSE, every look and touch is not scripted. The actors interpret how their characters would think and feel, and what they would do in given moments and then do those things.

Eda is not touching Serkan's arm just because Hande can't hold herself back from touching Kerem. Puh-lease, they are professionals. Grow up.

However, having said all that, I do think there was one scene that seemed to be very improvised this episode. The bean scene in the grocery store did feel like them just eFFing around. LOL.

andhewonherheart asked: @andhewonherheart: SCK promo department is best and worst all at the same time, cause giving away the last (cliffhanger) scene in fragman is just cruel. But based on the next week’s fragman thing happens that we we think happens *wink*

Hee! So true. The thing I'm grateful for is that in season 2 not one fragman has made me dread the episode, I think there was at least one fragman an episode from 29-37 that was hella upsetting.

As far as I'm concerned these fragmans are doing there job, making me want to watch.

I am really excited for Serkan planning how he's going to ask Eda to marry him, I wonder what Kiraz's reaction is going to be. So far she's been their very own cupid!

Anonymous asked: I didn't find it surprising that Serkan removed his tattoo as soon as Eda left. His logic is always out of sight out of mind though it doesn't work. He did the same when he broke up with her when he found out about the death of her parents. He removed all of her belongings. But their memories are too strong and enough for him to continue to remember her.

Truth! Will he ever learn that it's never going to work? He'll never be able to erase Eda, she has left an indelible mark on his soul. Let's hope he's never faced with that situation again! From here on out, he and Eda are together, a unit, and will live a long life together and in love.

Anyone have any guesses where Eda's tattoo is? Will we find out or will it remain between the characters.

Anonymous asked: I've seen some people say that Edser are getting married now way too fast and to that I just have to laugh lol. First there were complaints we don't have happy Edser and now when we do, of course there's something else. These two have had a rollercoaster of a year when they first met and a five year separation.. they've been through the dating phase, the engaged phase.. of course they'll head straight to the altar! It's not like Eda's plane proposal and that first wedding wasn't rushed either!

I'm on team head straight to the alter! No more waiting. They've had terrible luck, so they just need to tie the knot and make sure there are no easy outs.

As for people who think it's too fast, they don't even know the storyline yet, I swear there are folks who complain just because that's their personality and they're never satisfied.

Anonymous asked: From some of the spoilers of BTS pics, and the fragman we got, I was just reflecting on this season and Turk romcom dizis in general and I just wanted to say how LUCKY we are to see Edser married (again, from spoilers) and with a kid on screen for more than just 10 minute at the end of the finale. Like, it is really rare and as much as people have nitpicked on this season in general, I feel like watching these last episodes have been such a breeze after the last arc of S1.

Oh agreed, I think these episodes have been very enjoyable. The writers are giving me exactly what I want from this show. Comedy, UST, romance with a little light angst thrown in now and again. I would rewatch this season a dozen times before even thinking about watching anything from the 30s.

We are very lucky that we've got to see them as parents, and actually forming their family. We've gotten so much domestic goodness so far and we still have a ways to go. I'm very appreciative of this season and that Ayse came back, got rid of the constant ridiculous melodrama for melodrama's-sake and is telling a very human story about family and love persevering.

Anonymous asked: the last scene gave me chills for some reason. you could actually see eda fighting her head and her heart and deciding to take the step (metaphorically and physically!) towards him for good. i wanna SUE whoever decided to end it the ep there though.. it was actually cruel. also looking at the next frag.. it makes my heart soft that in the flashbacks we see serkan pushing off their wedding bc of his fears and now he can't propose and get married fast enough.. can't believe we're really getting it

I know, it's almost surreal at this point. Since we're near the end we know it's for real and won't be ruined by psychos or awful family members or terminal illness. I just hope that they give us an emotional scene when they get married, whether its just them or the whole cast is there as guests, after everything they've (we've) been through we need to see them both feeling that moment and reveling in it.

FYI - I'm out of town next weekend, so I may be slower than usual in replying to asks and in posting gifs of 47, but I'll get to it all eventually!

[iwritethat]

Bruce Wayne: Ladies Man

A/N: A bit of Batman because I don’t have enough on here.

>>>>——————————>

It was simply a side job, in Gotham such honest living was difficult to come by so when an old friend of the family offered you a waitress position at their bar you couldn't refuse whilst getting through school at 16. Who wouldn't want to earn some cash right? Surprisingly they upheld a few laws, like not letting you serve alcohol but if you remained then it would be something you'd learn among other things.

After 2 years, one interesting thing about the job was the vast variety of customers the bar attracted. You intermingled with the likes of Gotham royalty, both of upper class and the underground depending on the day and being a long term employee meant they remembered your name whether you liked it or not. Unfortunately, due to your uncanny ability to charm just about anyone, you were the pub favourite often requested to serve and the owner adhered to the requests of the wealthy for obvious reason - plus they tipped you generously.

Among these was young bachelor Bruce Wayne, you were on a first name basis with how often his friends came in clubbing. They weren't 21 but money and fake IDs do the talking. Although you cared not for their names, it was Bruce who seemed more mysterious and calculating than he'd ever let on.

Tonight he sat at the bar in contemplation, a member of his group snogging the face off of some lass rather lazily in your opinion.

"I'm surprised you aren't indulging in the same luxuries." You casually addressed your friend, sliding your platter onto the bar and leaning on it beside him gesturing to the aforementioned pair.

"I'm not great at charming women yet. The status does it all for me right now."

"You can't rely on that! You're Bruce Wayne, I expect you to be smooth and have me falling at your feet. What if there's a girl you really like who won't care for your status hm?" He raised a brow at your playful tone, but you'd captured his interest as you usually did unintentionally.

"I don't know, I haven't met one yet."

"Alright then we're going to prepare for that day so she'll be wanting more. C’mon, show me." You patted the bar for emphasis, smirking at his suddenly confused expression.

"Right here, now?"

"Dazzle me." Came your simple yet upbeat response as you gestured him to bring it.

"Okay fine. So uh... you come here often?" Bruce attempted rather awkwardly, leaning against the bar in a way he thought to be seductive as you remained unreadably silent.

"Pfffttt that's the best you've got?" You couldn't hold your laughter for long, head falling into your arms on the bar to stifle them.

"No - no! (Y/n) it's not that funny..." He hummed, lightly nudging your arm to regain your full attention.

"You're right, I just - it was so bad. You're so crap at flirting it hurts!"

"Oh? How would you do it then?" For someone so young, he was challenging and you would be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it.

You ran your hands through your hair, fingers gently grazing his arm with a gentle bite of your lip.

"Now now, we can't have you falling for a mere waitress now can we?"

"You're not just a waitress (Y/n)..." His gaze followed you around the bar as you now learnt over it with a courteous smirk.

"Right there - you watched me walk away, I already have you hooked right?"

"Wait - that didn't - you didn't use a pick up line or anything! How does that even count?" Bruce looked back and forth, stammering once coming to the realisation that you'd charmed him so easily whilst you leaned back to clean a glass.

"Look, chances are that pickup lines are only going to be laughed about and to break the ice anyway, after that you've just gotta be yourself. The people who are worth it will stick around." You gave a haphazard shrug with a genuine smile on your lips and you nodded to the billionaire across from you. It always caught him off guard, the amount of wisdom you held for someone only his age.

"Like you?"

"There are better people in the world than me Bruce Wayne."

—

The air was bitter as you stood outside the usually welcome doors of your workplace, ones that remained closed due to recent occurrences. You held the keys and deed between your fingers, fiddling due to the unfamiliar weight of newfound responsibility - the owner was always a mysterious man, striking resemblance to a character from Kingsman adorned with a British accent and designer suits. Even so his death came as a shock, his Will stating that his bar and all its contents be passed on to you even more baffling.

"The only thing you'll catch out here is a cold." A calm but witty voice commented, the man now standing beside you expecting your signature snark.

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard the news, and I thought you might like some company doing this. I know you could handle it but I'm here." Bruce casually answered, your friendship remained constant through the years even if surprising. It seemed you just couldn’t get rid of each other.

"Is it a nightclub? Pub? Restaurant? A combination of all that? Is that even legal? I can't run this place - I don't even know what the hell it is! And the customers - they’re... well, some of them are illegal..." You grimaced at your overwhelmed outburst, palm slipping from the door it once had the intention of opening.

"Hey, why don't you come over to the Manor? I've got the evening free and we can go through it all together, and I'll attempt to lighten you up as we go." You were carefully torn from the door, the millionaire holding your hands in his, the warmth a welcome comfort from the breeze of Gotham.

"The key word in there was 'attempt', wasn't it?" You met his concerned gaze now, tone holding expectant sarcasm despite remaining laced with defeat.

"It has been said that my brooding can get in the way." Bruce responded, hand rubbing the back of his neck out of what you assumed was embarrassment.

"Sounds fun, lead the way oh rich one." You released a half hearted chuckled as the male rolled his eyes, offering his arm to you. However, the foreign soft whisper that followed caught him off guard so much so that he almost made a spelling error on the email currently cancelling tonight’s scheduled meeting.

"And thanks Bruce... for everything."

You spent the night at the Manor, delving into your insecurities and Bruce aided in the business side of things where he could in aid of settling at least some of the worries you had. Afterwards you enjoyed one another’s company, catching up on the weeks events as well as the unfurling of his newest addition to the household over the fanciest champagne and 5* meal courtesy of Alfred who you’d convinced to dine with you also.

-

In a month or so with Bruce’s support you were able to apply your extensive knowledge of the business into running it as your predecessor had and since the regulars knew you already it made it much easier as profits rolled in rather substantially. Now you knew how the old manager could afford his luxury suits.

Tonight though, Bruce made an appearance looking rather despondent and almost exhausted which may not be so obvious to surrounding staff or those not close to him but of course, you were an exception.

Naturally, you leaned on the opposite side of the bar, promoting a weak smile after you’d asked what was bothering the man.

"A business deal didn't go quite how I expected, and it kept me up all night." Bruce summarised, strategically avoiding the details regarding Penguin.

"Then I believe you need some cheering up, I hope you don't have any plans because they are now cancelled~"

"The Manor is free, I can get some strawberrry champagne (Y/n) -"

"Nope, it's my turn. You're about to find out how us commoners spend our evenings."

Without another word you walked him to your spacious apartment which was only around the corner, the hefty bar profits kept it well furnished and your cupboards stocked - even so, you convinced the billionaire to lower his standards to order in which you paid for against his protest.

"I'm paying this time, you're the one whose had it rough recently so I'm treating you. That's what friends are for, besides this food is a little below your pay grade don't you think?" You laughed as you filtered through your movie collection before finding a perfect selection for the night.

"If you think that after adopting Dick that I haven't been subjected to takeout then you're sorely mistaken. I quite enjoy it actually." The billionaire replied rather smugly, slowly growing accustomed to the relaxing atmosphere you and your home radiated. Bruce, for once, felt oddly content.

The movie began and ended, the time filled with idle conversation of which grew deeper as the credits rolled and continued whilst you pottered in the kitchen. Moments later you emerged with a tray, Bruce opening his mouth and closing it being too taken aback to comment.

"I present to you, Chocolat de (L/n)." Came your dramatic voice, accent where necessary to add charm.

Bruce shot you an amused glance, carefully taking on of the two tall mugs from the tray you held - the hot chocolate topped with cream, marshmallows and a flake - very appealing to the eye and tastebuds. It was practically famous in your club.

"(Y/n)?! This is - incredible.”

“Why thank you, only the best for you right?”

He smiled at that, a genuine smile that he’d hoped expressed his immense gratitude right about now.

“That must be why I have you then.”

“Ah, now that is a smooth line. Being in my company has improved your skills huh?” You wittily countered, though Bruce only offered a hopeless yet content sigh.

Clearly they weren’t as effective as you believed.

-

Bruce seemed refreshed after leaving that night, he’d emphasised his regret of not being able to see you in person to thank you properly over the various texts you’d exchanged in the past week - although, as you were wiping down the counter after an early close you were not expecting the uncanny interruption.

An hallowing echo against the oak bar captured your attention, finding a sheepish bachelor at it’s origin.

"What's this?" You inquired as you picked up the item he’d placed down moments ago, inspecting it precariously.

"It's premium Raspberry Ripple White Hot Chocolate - I thought we could try it, together."

"How on Earth do you get as many women as you do with vague attempts like that hm?" An amused brow was raised in his direction, the action relaxing the millionaire more than he’d admit.

"I'm much smoother when I don't actually have genuine feelings for someone, as such I suppose you don't get the privilege of cliché pick up lines. So what do you say (Y/n)?” It was unorthodox yes, but judging by your quiet laugh he assumed it was the way you’d want it.

"You had me at 'Do you come here often?'"

-BONUS-

"You're saying that line worked." Bruce taunted from his place by the Manors kitchen island, you sipping your drink with a nonchalant argument.

"It did not. It was awful."

"I had this all semi planned from the beginning (Y/n)." He smugly replied, tone basking in the victory of the overly drawn out ‘plan’.

"Hah! I refuse to believe this is how you predicted things to go when we first became friends." It was possible but it had been years since you’d first met, he could not have suspected you’d ever end up together this far ahead.

"You're correct Miss (Y/n), Master Bruce spent the entire evening whining about how he'd embarrassed himself in front of you after your little competition and that it was near impossible to win your affections. A common occurrence whenever he visited your bar really..." The loyal butler unceremoniously intervened, pride radiating from his unwanted revelation as he entered the kitchen.

"Alfred." Bruce released a defeated groan as he had you wrapped around his finger for a second, something he’d wanted to relish in for a few seconds before Alfred had besotted you with the truth.

You however, were pleased with the information, winking at your partner with a gracious smirk befalling your lips.

"Knew it."

[jaqdawks]

added a short story bellow :)

content warnings: alcohol and implied nsfw acts, also mention of death.

—————————————

Nickolai awoke in someone else’s bed with a splitting hangover. He sat up and looked around the unfamiliar room. He checked if it was possibly Alcor’s, until he realized he didn’t know what Alcor’s bedroom looked like at all. He also didn’t know what most of Alcor’s flat looked like; he’d only ever been as far in as a single hallway.

For a few minutes, Nickolai fought the hangover to remember who he was with and what identity he’d assumed. All he could remember was Noah. He had a fake ID that said Noah, and his false identity as a Noah was a man who fixed computers. Noah was a common name though, and he couldn’t remember who the Noah here was.

He didn’t think about it much longer before he succumbed to the hangover and flopped back onto the bed—which Nickolai was alone in. The disturbed sheets on the spot next to him hinted to someone else having been in it earlier.

The door began to creak open, and Nickolai shut his eyes.

“Hey, it’s almost noon. I don’t want to be rude but you need to wake up,” sounded an unfamiliar voice.

Nickolai grumbled a little. He looked at the stranger, who had soft green eyes and curly red hair. He didn’t look untrustworthy, to Nickolai’s relief. Then again, Nickolai didn’t look untrustworthy either on a normal day.

“I have Advil if you need something for a hangover,” the stranger offered.

Nickolai sat up again, for real now. “Sorry, what’s your name?”

The stranger laughed. “I’m Joel. Were you too hammered to remember my name?”

Nickolai shook his head.

The stranger seemed concerned. “How much do you remember then?”

“I don’t know, I remember thinking I should get mad drunk in public instead of passing out on my couch. After that it’s just fuzzy.” Nickolai assumed he told Joel that his name was Noah.

Joel looked a little perturbed in an endearing way. “Ah, well, do you want me to fill the gaps or. . ?”

“Can I get some Advil first?”

“Yeah. I’ll go get some water for you to swallow it with,” Joel complied. “You should get dressed.”

Nickolai waited for Joel to leave before getting out of bed and tracking down all his clothes, which were strewn about the room. His shirt smelled like liquor to the point that Nickolai thought he might gag. However, he didn’t have any spare clothes and decided to just put up with it.

Joel was back a few minutes after Nickolai got dressed. It was clear he was trying to ignore the smell, but after Nickolai took the Advil, Joel asked if he needed to borrow something that didn’t smell so rancid. Nickolai obliged and was relieved to be able to rid the putrid button-down.

“Okay, so the parts you don’t remember,” Joel began. “I can’t say I remember it too well either, but I think I have a decent memory with these things.”

Nickolai nodded. “Go on.”

“So,” Joel continued. “It began when I think I saw the bartender cut you off on drinks, and I felt kind of bad about that. So I thought, hey, company’s much better than drinks, even though I was also drinking, like a lot. And I guess at some point we kinda started flirting, and I was like ‘should we take this back to your place?’ and you began to freak out. I think you said you have a dog that bites people or something? Is that true?”

“Nope.”

“Okay. Well anyways, you did not seem to be very happy with the idea of taking anyone to your place, so I took you to mine. And you can probably guess the rest, considering you woke up naked in my bed.”

Nickolai silently acknowledged the implications in his head. This wasn’t how he planned to start his weekend, but he could roll with it. “Yeah. Sorry for sleeping until noon, by the way. I’m not at all a morning person.”

Joel smiled with amusement. “How do you pull that off? I can’t even sleep past nine on a good day.”

“Sadness.”

Joel’s face went blank with a bit of underlying surprise at Nickolai’s off hand answer. “Oh. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, no harm no foul.” Nickolai was vehemently aware that he may have used that saying incorrectly.

Joel veered the conversation away from the topic. “How does your head feel?”

“A little better.”

Joel was oddly kind. Nickolai wasn’t used to receiving this hospitality from strangers like him, but that probably had more to do with who Nickolai associated himself with and not people in general. Nickolai decided he liked Joel, even if he barely knew him.

“I would offer you some breakfast, but. . . it’s almost one in the afternoon. You’re probably hungry though, right?”

“Oh, you don’t have to.” Nickolai attempted to smile back at Joel but he was too tired to count off what would make it look genuine. Regardless, Joel didn’t seem to notice.

“I’m gonna do it anyway,” Joel decided. “Any allergies?”

“Strawberries.”

“Oh! That’s a rare one.”

Nickolai shrugged. “I seem to cash in on the rare things a lot. Albinism, an extra rib, and the strawberry allergy.”

“Casinos must hate you if you’re that lucky.”

Nickolai let out a genuine laugh. He decided he definitely liked Joel. He also felt a tinge of astonishment that someone like Joel casually hooked up with him, or generally anyone. He seemed like too much of an angel to even drink.

Nickolai followed Joel out of his room. Joel’s place was considerably nice, to the point Nickolai was in a bit of disbelief. He couldn’t have wound up in an upper class area if he had started last night at a shoddy bar, right? Joel didn’t act like he was rich, he didn’t seem like it either. But this place completely contrasted whatever Joel was like. Even Joel’s cat, a rather well groomed Norwegian forest cat—which was massive and somewhat intimidating—seemed to completely outclass Nickolai.

“Do you live here by yourself?” Nickolai asked as he surveyed the expensive wallpaper lining the kitchen walls.

“Nah, I have a housemate named Anwyll. He’s visiting family right now though.”

Nickolai froze. “Anwyll. . . As in Anwyll Tait?”

“That’s the one!”

Nickolai suddenly felt sick. “Oh fuck.”

“Is something wrong?”

Nickolai retched. Had his stomach not been empty, he had no doubt he would have thrown up all over the nice counter top.

Joel dropped what he was doing and crossed the room to Nickolai. “Are you okay?” He was suddenly at Nickolai’s side with his hand placed gently on Nickolai’s back.

Nickolai’s head spun. He knew he couldn’t tell Joel that Anwyll Tait took his brother’s life in the deathmatches. If he did, Joel would have a catalogue of every possible person Nickolai could truly be, and it would clearly point to Yuskol Voskoboinikov.

Nickolai ran through every excuse he could think up. He could say he hated the rich, but that could offend Joel. He could say the deathmatches made him sick, but Joel was obviously linked to them somehow if he was in league with a Tait. Joel felt like dangerous company, a double edged sword.

“Noah?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Nickolai croaked. “I think it’s just the hangover. I haven’t eaten since yesterday, so I guess I don’t have anything to throw up.”

That was the safest excuse.

Joel looked at Nickolai with pity. “Do you think you can eat right now?”

“Yeah.”

Nickolai felt somewhat content that he had definite confirmation that he had told Joel his name was Noah last night. The slight accent in his voice may throw off the authenticity in his identity as Noah Martin, but it wasn’t consistent enough to jeopardize him.

At the same time, the fact that he slept with someone of such high class alarmed him. Most public record photos of Nickolai Voskoboinikov’s face was outdated or somewhat photoshopped, but a Tait might be able to figure him out if they surveyed him for long enough.

“So, what’s your housemate like?” Nickolai asked. He tried to keep the nervousness from spreading to his voice.

“Anwyll can be such a jerk sometimes, but he’s also sorta nice. I’ve known him since I was little,” Joel said. “He doesn’t like new people that much, but I think he’d like you.”

“Dunno. I can be very unlikeable when I’m on my medication.” Nickolai knew with certainty that Anwyll would hate him no matter what. “Also I’m. . . lower class.” Nickolai also knew that Anwyll was a classist asshole.

“Lower class? That doesn’t matter,” Joel piped up. “The whole class thing is kind of stupid. I think the way it’s set up is interesting, but it won’t stop me from having friends from all kinds of walks of life.”

“I. . . yeah. I guess so,” Nickolai mumbled. He doubted Joel would be this positive if he knew of Nickolai’s illegal trades ties, the upper class notoriously hated brokers like him. They also especially hated him in particular.

Being there felt like the most dangerous stunt Nickolai had pulled, and he hadn’t even done it on purpose.

Joel set a ridiculously fancy, yet somehow definitely homemade, grilled cheese sandwich on a plate in front of him.

“Wow,” Nickolai mused. For a moment he wasn’t sure what to say. “This looks like something an expensive ass chef would make.”

“Thanks! I went to the top culinary school in the city, my parents say it was a waste of time.”

“Fuck what your parents say,” Nickolai replied before he took a bite. The sandwich tasted unreal. The last time he had food as good as this was when he posed as an intern for one of the deathmatch organizers.

“I’m glad you like it,” Joel smiled. Nickolai felt unease crawl back into his chest. Joel seemed so genuinely friendly, though a nagging suspicion told Nickolai it could be a lie. Nickolai couldn’t take a risk by being near him for much longer. At the same time, however, he felt captivated. Joel had that charisma that so many of the notorious upper class families seemed to unanimously mirror. He was a golden face among a sea of golden faces, all rotten under their skin. Nickolai knew what they were like.

Even then, Joel seemed to care a lot more than most would let on.

Nickolai took a deep breath. “I have to go home, sorry. I left my meds there, and I probably have people flooding my inbox about work and all that bullshit.”

“That’s alright. If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your job?”

“I fix computers,” Nickolai lied. That was Noah’s persona, and a story that should hold up if Joel decided to try and look in to it.

To be polite, he exchanged phone numbers. Nickolai only had his burner phone on him, which was a relief. The calls and texts that flooded Nickolai’s personal phone daily would have definitely been suspicious.

Nickolai liked Joel, but he knew he wouldn’t call him. Nickolai had a hunch that Joel may not be the worst of his kind, but he knew he wouldn’t text him back. It felt harsh to shut Joel out like this, but Nickolai wasn’t going to risk identification simply because he had a good encounter. They waved goodbye, and Joel’s cheery expression was a reminder that Nickolai would have to be silently cruel.

Nickolai didn’t call for a cab, he walked until his hangover began to bother him again. Then he called Alcor—Alcor didn’t have Nickolai’s burner phone address, but he was a safer bet than any cabs in this place.

The phone rang for a while before Alcor picked up.

“Who’s this?”

Nickolai felt relief wash over him to hear a familiar voice. “It’s Nick. Can you come pick me up?”

Alcor’s words were laced with suspicion as he spoke over the phone. “. . . Sure. Where are you?”

Nickolai looked at the street sign. Of course he had to stop on Ivory Street—the richest and most notorious, and also the one Nickolai hated the most for almost no real reason. With a sigh, he said, “Ivory Street.”

“How the fuck did you get there?”

“Drunkenly and against my conscious knowing.”

“Is this going to be dangerous?”

Nickolai groaned. “Not as dangerous as standing in the house that belongs to the man who killed my brother. Now get over here, I don’t think it’d be safe to use public transport in this area.”

There was a silence on the other end, then Alcor replied, “I’m on my way.”

[junaou]

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋.

Brain worms said ‘go write Junao’s relationship call!’ so here I am, writing this relationship call. Please come and cherish this man. Or pick a fight, whatever’s your thing. Now, as of writing Junao is not in FGO servers outside of JP yet, so there are some spoilers regarding LB4 and all that. These are things I can usually leave out in normal threads/convos, but deeper social links would require me to prod into some of those topics. Tread carefully!

(This ended up being long. Like, really long. I’m so sorry.)

Like this post or reply with the number corresponding to the ideas below that you think would jive well with Junao and your muse. By default I’ll use Tumblr’s messaging system, but if you don’t prefer that/have other options my Discord ID is also available for the taking - just ask! I’ll also make sure to send any memes I find interesting, poke you when the brainworms come out, etcetera.

01. GENERAL IMPRESSIONS. 

Junao is a very pleasant person to be around, and chances are most would find him to be good company - especially if this is their first meeting with the guy. Small talk is a good start to being acquainted with him! Most of the time he’ll just be there to point out things, maybe lend a hand or two.

But at the same time one might notice that a lot of this is very surface level. Less mimicry and more detached if anything, like floating clouds. His optimistic behavior will always be directed at others. Junao is a god, an observer with no personal preferences. He doesn’t really feel emotional about a lot of things, so chances are you’re not gonna get a rise out of him: he’ll just simply disagree or agree, and move on.

02. OCCASIONAL CURIOSITIES. 

His world came into a standstill during ancient times. He might be aware of new innovations and modern changes thanks from Chaldea’s database or due to the circumstances of his summoning, but knowing and actually experiencing these things are two very different things. A lot of the environment is bound to catch his attention - whether it is about the urban horizon or the noise of arcade machines down the street. Junao would be up to trying out pretty much anything, so it’s really easy to entertain his questions or drag him into participating activities.

03. ARTS & CRAFTS. 

Creation and destruction are his domains as a god, but creating stuff with merely the use of his Authority wasn’t very fulfilling at all. There’s joy in the process itself, so even back in Chaldea he had been trying to create with conventional means. The end result isn’t as perfect, of course, but he still finds it fun regardless. The nature of the craft can vary, from carving wood to folding origami or even assembling model kits! Chances are if you find him in a shop he would be looking for DIY items to try out.

04. DIVINITY. 

Junao’s status as a god is quite strange. He wasn’t born as one and he wasn’t supposed to become one. Needless to say, his current performance as a god is…well, it’s not quite stellar. Of course it’s not like he hasn’t communed with gods in the past -  his father is one after all. But all of his prior experiences have been under the position of one who followed and worship them. Now that he walks among them, he’s not quite so sure. Anyone who also happened to be a god in their own world would be of interest to him, just to know how it is like for them to have divine inhumanity in their blood.  He has to realize that not every god shares his emotional detachment.

05. TO PURGE ALL EVIL. 

He inherited the majority of his divine aspect from Kalki, one who is said to cleanse the world of all evil. In his hopes and dreams for a perfect world he tried to remove all known sources of it, only to end up going overboard. (Overboard is an understatement.) Now aware of this flaw, Arjuna has narrowed down his definition to anyone who threatens those close to him, which is a good starting point! So uh, don’t mess with them or you’ll have to face the wrath of a god.

That being said, he’s aware that figuring out the complexities and the nuances between good and evil is something he needs a better grasp on, something that would take an eternity for one to learn. There are some things that he can easily consider to be evil of the bat, but the moral grey is something he needs to face directly and address if he wanted be do better at his job.

06. I HAND YOU MORE YEARNING. 

“How enviable. That is truly the form of a human. They continue to struggle even as ugly as they are. They act valiantly, but they continue to tremble in fear. They cry out saying they don’t want to die, and yet risk their lives to save another. Something inside me insists… ‘I want that. I want to be that.’”

Gods use humans as their proxies, but men do not become gods. Arjuna Alter’s existence is an anomaly, one that breaches this rule. And yet, no matter what happens, his status as a god shall never change. He can no longer return to become human again. That is why he looks at humans from a distance - in all their beauty and ugliness, their strength and their love and their passion, the way they rise and fall and rise again. Longing for something he has discarded.

07. BY CONTINUING TO QUESTION. 

So. Remember what I said about him being a god with no preferences, detached from all forms of desire and emotion?

Now throw all of that out of the window.

Arjuna is an imperfect god. Beneath all these layers of divinity, underneath the functions and the code, therein lies a human soul. One that by all means should have disappeared into the void once he has absorbed nearly every god and yet despite everything he has retained his individuality. Call it a paradox or a miracle, but this is something that can only be achieved by those we call heroes.

Of course this is something that not everyone would be privy towards, but if one pursues a closer relation with Junao it is inevitable that one would end up unearthing these aspects. This personality may be muted, but there are just simply things that he cannot help but react towards. What sides would resurface would depend on specific interactions, however. After all, Arjuna is human, possessing positive and negative traits in equal measure.

07A. WHITE. Bonds are important to Arjuna, whether it is from friends or from family. He is devoted to those who trust and respect him, and those he has grown to trust and respect in return. He still loves his theatrics, whether it’s showing off a skill or just being plain dramatic, and is a willing participant when it comes to competition. He’s no longer afraid of expressing himself, and thus any smile or sign of gratefulness is the genuine thing.

07B. BLACK. He is not above pettiness or resentment. One cannot easily forget pride and honor, and he would come to rise in his own defense or on others when necessary. There are things that are still capable of riling him up, such as injustices that he cannot find himself to forgive. While he is trying to rid himself of his perfectionism, a part of it still exists, and he might find himself going overboard when blinded by emotion. As much as he would deny it, there are things he has begun to question - about his destiny, about his dharma, things he would claim to be unfair despite declaring himself as the greatest sinner of them all.

07C. BHAGAVAD GITA. And herein lies the root of his existence, the point where the fates of the Berserker Arjuna has diverged from the Archer Arjuna. His decision to absorb all gods was a decision rooted in the deepest depths of despair. It was the overabundance of suffering and moral dilemma that has had him think that it would be better to feel nothing at all, and why he has given up his emotions and personality. Why he forgot what was he supposed to fight for in the first place.

He still cannot confront them, after all this time. To face it head on is to have it break down all the walls he has built up for millennia, and no matter when it occurs he would not be ready for that backlash. He has failed in where the Archer Arjuna succeeded, and he is full aware that to acknowledge them again would break him. It has already broken him before.

What lies beyond the song of gods? I do not know. But eventually he has to go back there again, to that time where he has sacrificed everything for nothing. And when he does, he needs to find an answer. May you help him find that, no matter what it may be.

If you have reached this part of this post…congratulations! And thank you so much for reading this up to the end. Of course, I am also open to any ideas that aren’t listed here. Feel free to poke me on messages, plotting is fun and good.

[overdrivels]

Moving money in the Overwatch world is somewhat of a subplot in TWtaH. I was reading an article just this morning about how money-laundering is at a standstill because criminals are having a hard time transporting and exchanging their ill-gotten gains in this Covid-19 lockdown. So that got me thinking about Overatch’s currency--credit.

I don’t really think ‘credit’ as a currency is canon in the Overwatch world. I just took the cash shop stuff and shoehorned it into the story because I didn’t want to use specific currencies like ‘bitcoin’ or ‘dogecoin’ or whatever else is out there.

With cryptocurrency, you get exchange goods and services without having to physically interact with any paper or coin money. On an individual level, it just means that a pandemic such as COVID-19 wouldn’t stop people from paying for stuff and no one has to worry about transmitting disease using money as a carrier. On a much larger-scale like money-laundering, the story becomes a little different.

We understand that the original concept behind bitcoin is, at a very high level, a representation of money (”cryptocurrency”) that is traded for goods and services. There is no central governing authority (decentralization), it is mostly anonymous, and very secure (or as secure as your password and wallet ID is anyway) because the code behind it sure is.

There are pros and cons to this. Let’s address the three ones I mentioned:

1) No central governing authority. This means that whatever cryptocurrency we’re talking about isn’t controlled by anyone. No federal government, no international government, nothing. That means no singular entity can lock you out of your money if suddenly let’s say all banks fail or something or government declares some law that suspends withdrawal of money.

On the flip side, that also means there’s no one to regulate the money. For example, 1 bitcoin is worth whatever the fuck the people decide. This leads to instability and the rollercoaster of having bitcoin being worth $10k per bitcoin to suddenly dropping to $6k per bitcoin in a three day period. It is incredibly unstable. This also means there are no laws governing what happens if you get scammed or the like or anything to protect the consumer. If you lose your money, it’s your fault (by and large).

2) It is mostly anonymous. Yes and no. Yes, as in your name and social security number isn’t blatantly associated with your wallet ID. In theory, you could set up like five or six wallets and trade that way to obfuscate (hide) your activities. Then there’s the ‘no’. Similar to how police can triangulate where your cellphone is based on which cellphone tower your phone pinged last, investigators can get a general idea of who you are, and what transactions were made. Bitcoin specifically uses a public ledger to record all trades. If they see $400 come from wallet A to wallet B with the same amount and transaction ID, they may have a match. Then there’s recording IPs and the like. Lots of contextual data that can be used to track someone down if someone was determined enough.

3) It’s mostly secure. This one is the backbone of cryptocurrency. There’s not much to say except it’s based on algorithms. Really, really annoying to crack algorithms. It’s not exactly possible to steal money unless you have access to the person’s wallet and password. However, this goes back to point 1 where if you lost your wallet or had it stolen, there is no central authority that can really help you.

Okay, so why the fuck am I talking about this?

I’d imagine that with the development of omnics and the progression of omnic rights, Overwatch’s world may have evolved to move away from physical money to digital currency and to keep paper money around kind of as a novelty or only used in really remote places. Having digital money means paying people more reliably, paying people faster, less errors, and less hassle.

(I messed up a little in my fic and I’m thinking of retconning it to remove the part about different countries and their currencies still having different exchange rates. Instead, I might just say that they still use the same symbols they always used to indicate money and the numbers are in credits instead.)

Anyway, back to the three points again. I think in the world of Overwatch, if cryptocurrency were to become the norm, they would first get rid of point #1. They would absolutely centralize the fuck out of it. It’s money. What bank, what government, what nation wouldn’t want to have control over money? If it’s global, I’d assume the World Bank would create a branch specifically dealing with cryptocurrency. They issue the regulations, they do the audits, they handle the interest rates, inflation, and everything related to the control of money. Then the banks of each nation would accommodate that. Though, with the obsolesce of physical money and different exchange values, that can imply that currency is no longer really tied to anything. Up until the end of WWI or Great Depression (I forget which), the de facto standard was gold (hence ‘gold standard’). How much physical gold you had is how much wealth your nation had and it was translated into paper money. But then the Great Depression(?) happened and then that became stupid. Now the monetary system is based on 'fiat money’, so I guess it’s not too dissimilar to a full cryptocurrency system. It’s just that there won’t be any bills.

Next is the anonymization. If it becomes centralized, I can’t imagine how it would remain anonymous. Money-laundering and bypass of trade sanctions would be rampant. It’d be an international disaster and undo the many years of regulatory law each nation has put in place. (Look, money is a serious business. Look up regulatory compliance, look up OFAC, look up KYC, and the like. It is a very, very big deal.) So, lack of anonymization would likely take place. However! That doesn’t mean it’s not possible.

Point 3 is an interesting one because it is literally the backbone of cryptocurrency as we know it in 2020. This might actually create a problem. If someone, let’s say a super omnic or the like is about to figure out the algorithms used to generate and validate new cryptocurrency, wouldn’t that mean money is worthless? Whoever can figure this out can essentially make themselves infinite money and then tank the economies of powerful world nations. Because you can’t print physical money anymore, so now you have to spoof digital money. Security (specifically cybersecurity) would be super huge and the tools to protect this crytocurrency generating process would be unworldly. Maybe even Sombra’d have a hard time cracking it.

Though, digital currency does pose one itsy-bitsy problem. The poor. The criminals. The underdeveloped. The current issues plaguing us now and why we don’t see contactless payments everywhere. There could be a billion reasons why a person cannot get a credit card or some form of contactless payment ranging from poor self-control to shitty credit scores as a result of their reckless youth but they know better now, victim of constant identity theft, unable to afford any fees if they were to occur, etc. So, how does cryptocurrency overcome this? It can’t. Not unless restrictions on who can use financial facilities are non-existent such as anyone can open an account regardless of current financial status and the like, or unless it’s something that is automatically given to every person regardless of their current status in life, etc. There’s a ton of restrictions, but we assume Overwatch’s world has already overcome these.

Finances are complicated. Monetary systems are complicated. I’m having a hell of a time picking this stuff apart. There’s pros and cons to all of this stuff. If the cryptocurrency stuff is centralized and people are reliant on it to live, people can easily get locked out of their methods of living. On the flip side, if there’s no central governing body, we’ll see the insane fluctuation of the market that could very well spell the life or death of nations.

In TWtaH, donors are giving to an account managed by the Chef. Chef redistributes this money under the name of the restaurant and under the guise of paying vendors and the like. With the above points in mind, it’ll be a spoiler to talk about it anymore, but a lot of this stuff is relevant.

[eldritchsurveys]

945.

When did you wake up today? >> I woke up at like 4a at first, and then finally fell back asleep sometime after 6a, and woke up for good at a little after 8a. IDK why this happens, but it’s really annoying when it does.

Are you a breakfast person? >> I don’t know what a “breakfast person” is. I do eat a meal in the morning...?

How often do you exercise? What type of exercises? >> I don’t exercise. It’s difficult for me to find something engaging and fun enough for me to stick with it. When the weather cools off a bit I will probably take up morning walks again, but right now I’ve reached my limit with summer conditions and can’t be motivated to willingly drench myself in sweat.

Any favorite TV shows? >> Plenty. Here are three: Person of Interest, The Dragon Prince, Hannibal.

Do you pay attention to the news? >> I read news articles sometimes, when the subject matter is of interest to me or I want to get the full story behind something. Also, I get daily emails from The Flip Side, so that’s a bit of news every morning.

Do you ever donate a dollar to fast food charities? >> Not usually. I also am rarely at fast-food restaurants, so.

What type of books do you like to read? >> I like a wide variety of books -- genre matters less to me than whether the content is written in an engaging manner and whether I care about either the characters or the subject matter presented.

Have you ever enjoyed a reading assignment for school? >> ---

Did you get to decorate your own bedroom? What's it like? >> As a child? No. Now? Yes, because I’m an adult and I pay rent here so I can do whatever I want with my own room. It’s not really decorated in a specific manner, though, like it doesn’t have a ‘theme’.

What size bed do you sleep on? >> Twin, because that’s what fits in my room. Fortunately, I am a relatively small person.

Do you wake up easily to alarms? >> I would if I used them.

Do you stay up unnaturally late at night or do you get to bed early? >> I don’t think I go to bed particularly early or late. Ten PM seems a pretty neutral bedtime.

What are you usually doing if you're up late at night? >> If I’m up late at night, it’s most likely because I couldn’t get to sleep no matter what. It’s definitely not on purpose.

Do you keep anything on like a fan or the TV while you sleep? >> I have the fan on in summer because otherwise the heat would kill me. But I don’t like the noise, I prefer silence when I’m in bed.

Do you procrastinate with deadlines? >> I don’t usually have deadlines.

Do you put a lot of effort into school? >> ---

What food could you absolutely live off of? >> I don’t think I could live off of any food (barring survival situations, of course). I require an array of nutrients just as much as anyone else.

What do you get when you go to the movies? >> An alcoholic beverage, sometimes. Otherwise I don’t usually buy concessions, they’re too expensive. I’ve definitely sneaked many a snack or beverage into a theater and I’ll do it again.

Where do you like to sit at the movie theater? >> Back center.

If you're just lounging around the house, what are you wearing? >> PJ pants or shorts and an undershirt or t-shirt.

Do you like wearing heels? >> An inch or two is fine. I’d prefer not to wear anything higher than that.

Would you prefer a night in or a night out? >> A night in usually suits me, but depending on the kind of night out, I wouldn’t say no to that either. Definitely been getting nostalgic for dinner-and-movie outings lately.

Do you enjoy being alone, or does it make you feel lonely? >> I do enjoy being alone. It’s nice to just veg out in the apartment doing whatever I want, and I don’t feel like I’m being scrutinised every time I move.

Obsessed with any songs at the moment? >> Not any that I can think of.

Do you enjoy showers, or do you take them cause you need to? What about baths? >> Showers are a bit triggering for me for a tangle of reasons, I don’t enjoy them at all. I never take baths, those are a hard limit for me.

Shower robe or towels? >> I just get dressed immediately after drying off and moisturising.

Do you have routines for waking up and going to bed? >> I clean my face and take my Pill before going to bed. I usually read for an hour after waking up, before getting up for bio stuff.

Do you remember your dreams often? >> Not often.

Do the dreams you remember make sense? >> I usually only remember ones that have some kind of connection to waking life. The more esoteric ones are difficult for my brain to hang onto, I think. They come through less frequently.

How is summer going so far? >> I’ve had my fill of summer and now I am looking forward to fall. That’s the thing about summer -- it’s short enough that by the time I’m tired of it, it’s almost over anyway. By the time I’m tired of winter, the worst months haven’t even hit yet.

Do you spend a lot of time tanning? >> I don’t spend any time tanning.

What would you say occupies your time most? >> The Internet, I guess.

Do you keep your room clean, or are you not phased by mess? >> I try to keep my room clean, although the size and how everything is set up makes it look a little more cluttered than it actually is, which drives me batty.

Do you get hassled to keep a clean room? >> Who would hassle me...? I’m grown, I’m responsible for my own damn room for better or worse.

Do you do your own laundry? >> Sparrow does the laundry.

Do you think graffiti is art or vandalism? >> It’s both. Art from the perspective of me, a passerby who likes pretty colours and funky lettering. Vandalism from the perspective of a building owner or law enforcement official.

How do you like your marshmallows roasted? >> Until they’re crispy? Is there any other way, lol...

How do you get rid of hiccups? >> I don’t do anything, mine go away pretty quickly.

How about brain freezes? >> I don’t do anything for that, either, it’s over in a few seconds.

Do you have any healthy addictions? >> That’s... that’s an oxymoron??? What do you think “addiction” means?

Are you old enough to vote yet? >> Yes.

Is voting important to you, or are you uninterested by politics? >> I am uninterested in politics and yet I still participate in the voting system. I didn’t used to, but I’ve come to understand the importance of participating and so I do my best.

Are you alright at world geography? >> I’m pretty abysmal at world geography. I know where some countries and geographical features are, and I can figure out the general area of where other countries or geographical features would be, sometimes... but mostly I just never put much mental energy into that sort of thing and I’m often wrong.

How about navigating your city? >> I can navigate this city pretty well. I’m good with cities.

What part of history interests you most? >> What part of history doesn’t interest me, at least marginally?

Do you keep your cell phone on you all the time? >> Not necessarily on me, but it’s usually somewhere nearby. ... *looks around* ...Well, right now, it’s all the way across the room, but hey.

Do you answer it when it rings or do you screen your own calls? >> I don’t answer my phone at all. Every call I get is spam or a misdial / someone thinking this number belongs to someone else entirely.

Are you big on the texting? >> I don’t text much because there’s no one to text except Sparrow, who I see every day in person anyway.

Do you like chewing gum or eating mints? >> I like the cognitive effects of gum-chewing. But Orbit changed the formula of my favourite gum so I had to give it up.

Do you use dental floss much? >> I don’t floss.

If you're biking do you wear a helmet? >> I hate the way helmets feel on my head but I understand their importance so I just avoid biking at all, basically.

What is your favorite outdoor activity? >> I’m not sure. Hiking, maybe? I do miss hiking.

Do/did you enjoy living with your parents? >> I did not enjoy it.

Do you have any favorite clothes? >> If I still have an article of clothing, one can assume it’s a favourite of mine. Otherwise I’d just... get rid of it. I don’t like keeping things I don’t enjoy.

How about a favorite pair of shoes? >> I only have two pairs of shoes and I like them both for different reasons / purposes.

How many different types of ID do you have? >> Well, I have a state ID, and a Social Security card somewhere (... I should really figure out where that is, I always seem to misplace those), and a birth certificate. I think those are the major forms in this country (I don’t have a passport, which would be another major form).

Do you always remember your license when you're driving? >> ---

Do you pay much attention to speed limits while driving? >> ---

What do you listen to when you're in the car? >> Sparrow’s iPod, usually. But she got a new dongle for the car and it’s Bluetooth, so now I can play my Spotify sometimes too. I have a playlist specifically for the car that’s my Liked Songs with all the metal and hard rock removed (which is, like, three-quarters of my likes, lmao).

What do you spend most of your money on? >> Rent.

Do you take advice when it's given to you? >> I don’t usually receive advice.

Are you optimistic or pessimistic under the shield of "realistic"? >> I feel like that’s not the whole picture. Some people are plainly pessimistic, some people are pessimistic and call themselves “realistic”, and some people are realistic. Whatever. I think my viewpoint depends on what kind of day I’m having, not some innate preference.

Do you avoid arguments or do you go out of your way to express your views? >> I avoid arguments but not to the point where I never express myself. Sometimes my trauma-inspired aversion to perceived conflict can get in my way, but I try not to let it win every time.

Are you looking forward to the future? >> I don’t usually think about the future. I’m busy enough with the present.

[whatarubberchicken]

The Bodyguard’s Tale -Chapter 2

<<Previous - Ao3 or ff.net - Next>>

....

Chapter 2

Keith could tell that Lance had been intending to give him the silent treatment for the next few days. The problem? Keith was always around him now, and Prince Lanceon had the patience of a small child.

“Keithyr, I’m bored,” he whined, five minutes after he’d picked up a book to read.

“You could always clean your room,” Keith suggested, sharpening his knife. He’d already patiently refused to become the prince’s cleaning servant, despite Lance’s whining. He knew his duties. He’d done a perimeter check and acquainted himself with most of the prince’s associates and possessions (and why ANYONE would need that many face creams was beyond him….), so he considered himself pretty much caught up as far as bodyguard duty went. For now.

“And my name is Keith, not Keithyr.”

“Really?” Lance sat up, looking interested. “But… you were introduced—”

“By Lotor,” Keith pointed out. “Who we both agree is a jerk.”

Lance snorted in agreement and flopped back down on his bed. “I don’t know what Allura sees in him….”

“The same thing everyone else sees,” Keith sighed, putting away his knife. If he sharpened it anymore, he’d start to weaken the blade. “His charm and charisma.”

“So… your real name is Keith?”

“It’s what my mother named me,” Keith explained. “According to Galra custom, mothers are the ones who ultimately decide the name of their child, even with slaves. My father didn’t like it and tried to name me Yorak instead—hey, stop laughing—but his courtiers and advisers protested, because that was apparently the name of some famous general, and I didn’t deserve it since I was just a half-breed—seriously, stop it, it’s not that funny—so they stuck on another syllable to the name my mom picked to make it sound more dignified. Are you done laughing yet?”

“Sure, Yorak,” Lance chortled, still clutching his stomach. “Oh man, and here I thought you were just trying to be cool like me and shorten your name!”

Keith scoffed. Lance wasn’t exactly his description of ‘cool.’

“What about you? Did they just try to tack on some more letters to make you sound noble too?”

“Nah, Lanceon means ‘everlasting light’ or something in the old language,” Lance said, running his fingers through his hair. It looked relaxing when he did that…. “My mom picked it too.”

Keith snorted, but didn’t laugh. At least Lance knew the meaning of his name. He’d never even set foot on Earth, much less studied any of the languages. All he knew was that his mother had been a human.

“You know what, we need to get outta here! Get the blood flowing!” Lance said, jumping up and stretching.

“Where do you want to go?” Keith asked, also standing and mentally preparing list in his head. He’d have to contact the head of household, the castle guards, probably someone from the space port—

“Have you ever ridden a narwhal?”

“Have I ever WHAT?” Keith asked, flabbergasted.

Lance grinned.

…….

A narwhal, it turned out, was a giant fish with a sword on its nose. Lance tried to explain how it wasn’t a fish, it was a mammal, that wasn’t a sword, it was a tooth, blah blah blah, but honestly, Keith tuned him out the moment he laid eyes on the huge beasts. His mind swam as he tried to figure out why anyone would want to ride one of these—and then Lance was in the water and Keith had his hands full, trying to keep his charge from being impaled or drowned, and yelling out instructions and orders that Lance gleefully ignored.

The result? Two sopping wet princes, panting and exhausted several hours later.

They had actually managed to ride a narwhal for a grand total of less than a minute. Roping them, that Keith could do, but then these suckers dove. As an Altean, Lance could change his body to include gills, but Keith didn’t have that option. He’d almost drowned before Lance realized what had happened and cut them both loose.

“You’re insane!” Keith gasped, coughing up more water and so, so happy to be back on solid ground. “You’re certifiably insane!”

Lance laughed. “Oh, relax, mullet head! If you’d drowned, I could just resuscitate you!” He made kissy motions in Keith’s direction.

“If you ever put your mouth on mine, I will gut you,” Keith growled, ignoring the rising heat in his cheeks.

Lance just laughed again.

“Man, I can’t believe we actually got one!” he said, looking out across the ocean. “This calls for a celebratory drink!”

………

Lance’s idea of a celebratory drink was, of course, to go to the local tavern, get completely smashed, and try to pick up women with increasingly bad lines.

“Hey baby, if I were a fish, I’d be hooked on you!”

Keith facepalmed and sternly reminded himself that someone needed to remain sober, so no, he couldn’t order another drink. He groaned in despair. Lance plopped down in the seat next to him, a handprint still red against his cheek.

“Aren’t you supposed to protect me from all harm?” the prince complained, pointing at it.

“Mmm, I was sure you had her, your grace,” Keith said mockingly.

“Wha—Keith, I can’t hit a woman! It goes against my honor as a prince!”

“Then what was I supposed to do?” Keith asked dryly.

Lance stared at him blankly for a moment. “I don—ugh, I keep forgetting you’re a prince too!” he groaned. “Keithy-boy, why don’t you act like a prince?”

“Because I wasn’t raised like one,” Keith said, rolling his eyes. His current position should be evidence enough of that!

“I bet it’s cause you think you’re better than me,” Lance said, his words starting to slur more and more. Time to cut him off, Keith thought, surreptitiously removing Lance’s cup from the table. Aww, he was cute when he pouted! “I bet you think you’re such a better prince than me, you could get any girl here you want!”

I don’t want any of these girls, Keith thought to himself, raising an eyebrow at his charge. But still, this might work in my favor.

“How about a bet then?” he said out loud, giving Lance a cocky smirk. “If I can get one of these girls to give me her number, you have to go home for the night.”

Lance was too drunk to realize he was being played and readily agreed. It took Keith less than a minute to quietly explain to the party of girls that if they gave him some slips of paper with a fake comm ID on it, he could get rid of the annoying drunk guy at the bar. They agreed gladly, but a few gave him a wink and suggested that the numbers might be real if he actually wanted to give them a call.

He would never understand women.

Of course not, a snide little voice in the back of his head muttered, you’re much too busy looking at the pretty prince you’re supposed to be protecting….

Keith firmly decided to lock that particular voice deep, deep into his subconscious where it would never see the light of day.