#so i'm just constantly tired and sleep deprived and can never rest

[mercymaker]

i just want to sleep and rest and not have all this tummy pain

[rroseselavyyy]

unison - myg

pairing: yoongi x female reader

warnings: smut, yoongi is in his late twenties but has mint hair 👁️👄👁️ breedinggggg kink ofcccc, make up s*x? oral s*x (female receiving)

Yoongi was your first in everything. He was your first real boyfriend since he gave you a red tulip with a shy smirk plastered on his face in kindergarten. You shared your first kiss with him when you were about to kiss his cheek and he turned his head slightly to meet your lips with his. You were even confident enough to ask him to take your virginity whereas he asked you for the thousandth time if you were sure.

It all felt like your own personal fairytale until you felt like it was all coming crashing down. You were constantly fighting over irrelevant things, and each time you fought, you ended up sleeping in different rooms.

You didn't let Yoongi sleep in your bed for about three weeks, saying that Holly would catch a cold if he didn't sleep in a warm bed in this cold weather.

To his ears, this sounded like a lame excuse for not letting him into your bed. He was longing for your touch, and your refusal to let him into bed added to his frustration.

One day, Jungkook came to him and told him that you had insecurities about yourself and that you were always thinking that Yoongi was going to leave you.

Yoongi couldn't understand why you would think he would break up with you when you were the most beautiful thing that ever happened to him.

Then it occurred to him that maybe you were just lonely because he spent so much time in his studio. Maybe you felt neglected because he was late coming home.

He didn't want you to feel that way, so he decided to make it up to you the best way he could, by making love to you. He didn't want to let you slip through his fingers.

"Don't expect me to sleep on the couch tonight-" He looked at you with his dark orbs through your reflection in the mirror, making your tired eyes ringed with dark circles met with his. He sat on the edge of the bed with his legs spread wide, his weight resting on his arms. His heated eyes intently watched the movement of your delicate hands rubbing lotion onto your soft legs. "Holly fell asleep on his bed. Plus I was in the studio for about eight hours, I think I hurt my back."

You had finally finished moisturising your skin, got up from your chair and made your way to the spot between Yoongi's legs. He looked shamelessly at your body under the silk robe, the belt of which was loose enough to give him a perfect view of your breasts, and your body trembled like a leaf in the wind under his gaze.

"It's okay, you can have the bed. I'm not tired yet." You ran your fingers through his mint-colored hair, looking down into his lustful eyes as you slowly pulled at his hair to catch a glimpse of his angelic face.

He looked at you under his lashes like someone under a spell, slender fingers found their way around the silk material of your robe and gave a little tug at your belt, causing your robe to fall down your body and pile up around your feet.

You let out a shaky breath and closed your eyes as he planted wet kisses on your inner thighs, kitten eyes never leaving yours as if you were his sun.

Even though your stubborn self kept warning you not to give in, it had been so long since he had touched you like this. Loved you like this. "I'll be in the living room-"

"No-" His whimper was barely audible, muffled by the hungry kisses planted on your hipbone, tracing a path across your skin. He gripped your thighs tightly as if his life depended on it and pulled you impossibly close to his face, letting his tongue savor the sweet peach aroma that lingered on your skin as he sucked on your sensitive skin.

"I've missed you so much. Please- please just let me have you. I'm tired of fighting over nothing."

You had never seen him so helpless, as if you were his only chance to breathe in an oxygen-deprived room.

You wanted to slap yourself in the face for falling for his tricks again and again, but how could you resist when his touch made you feel so good?

"You can have me, baby. Take what is yours." You didn't have to tell him twice when he suddenly wrapped his arm around the curve of your ass and made you sit on his leg, your shocked scream dying in your throat.

He brought his hand adorned with rings to your cheek, stroking the skin ever so gently. You leaned on his hand with your eyes closed as you planted kisses on his palm as you melted in his embrace.

"I love you so much." He whispered above your lips as he wrapped his free hand around your waist, closing the mere distance between you and him. "You annoy me like no one else, but I love you too much to let you go."

"I'm not annoying." You murmured under your breath as he toyed with your nipples, circling them much to his delight.

You desperately rolled your hips against his leg, trying to find some sort of friction as your arousal made a mess of his jeans.

He planted on the column of your throat, exchanging them with love bites that traced a path across your sensitive skin like a field of blood-red poppies.

"Yeah? Who gave me a black eye just for talking to a girl? You are such a pain in the neck, my love."

As his strong arms carried you to the centre of the bed, you felt like your back met with a bed of flowers. He took off his clothes before settling between your legs.

One of your hands brushed his sweaty, mint-coloured bangs from his forehead, and the other tugged at the hair behind his neck to capture his lips in a heated kiss.

"I think they should give me an award for public service." He whispered hotly into your ear as he brought his veiny hand to your throat, squeezing it slowly to give you pleasure rather than suffocate you. Your heart was ready to burst out of its cage as the sensations rushing through every fibre of your being became too much for you to think straight. "It takes a lot of patience to tame a brat like you."

"Yoongi.." You let out a whimper as he taunted you, the blood rushing to your cheeks in embarrassment. Your lips were only inches apart as he pinned you between his naked body and the bed. The sweet scent of lemongrass emanating from his skin was enough to make your head spin as your hips rolled uncontrollably against his thigh. "Patience, love. I'm not going anywhere."

He gave you a final peck on the lips before his lips moved down to your belly, exchanging wet kisses with subtle nibbles. His kisses made you arch your body into his mouth as loud moans and groans came from your mouth. With every kiss he planted, he whispered into your skin that he was yours, as if he wanted to ink that fact into your skin.

He planted wet kisses on your inner thighs as you tugged at his hair. Your mouth was hanging open as his kisses exchanged with long stripes of licking on your thighs. He parted your legs just enough to kiss your already wet pussy.

"You look so good between my thighs baby." Your praise encouraged him to go on, sucking on your sweet nectar mixed with his saliva. You didn't even realise that you were pulling at his mint-coloured hair, that your knuckles were brushing against his scalp as you reached your orgasm.

He rested his head against your thigh to gaze intently at you for a moment, it excited him to see your cheeks flush. You couldn't help but moan at the sight of his chin glistening with your natural essence as you came down from your high, his minty hair wet with sweat making him look even more handsome.

"I haven't touched myself for weeks. I've been saving all my cum for pretty pussy." He crawled on top of you as you tried to regulate your breathing as he stroked his cock to keep himself hard. He grabbed your side with one hand while the other aligned his cock with your pussy lips. "Will you be a good girl and help me give Holly a sibling?"

Without thinking of anything but him inside you, you nodded feverishly. It seemed he wasn't the one who had missed you, the way he had made you dumb.

You were so wet that it was easy for him to bottom out with one thrust. His hips began to speed up to fuck you faster. He held your hand and brought it to where his heart was, as if to prove that your insecurities were wrong. "Yoongi, I'm close-" Your hips began to move in unison as Yoongi growled louder against your skin, fucking you harder when you were a mess under his body. "Me too, babygirl."

All those fights where you broke each other's hearts for nothing meant nothing to you in that moment, you decided you were a match made in heaven, especially when he was fucking you.

One last thrust and he ejaculated into your pussy, almost whimpering at the feel of your tight cunt milking him. You were both panting heavily as you tried to regulate your breathing.

"I love you, please do not think that I will ever leave you again."

[baileypie-writes]

Hey pookie it's me and what about veneer x male reader where reader is just overworking and doesn't know when to stop working with readers job can you make him a drafter pwetty pwease🥺

(I'm sorry for all the veneer requests I'm getting destroyed by work and I'm starved of veneer comfort)

A/N ~ Sure pookie! I don’t mind the requests at all, so send as many as you’d like! I also don’t know much about being a drafter, so I’m sorry if anything’s inaccurate!🩷

~Time to Stop~

Veneer x Male!Overworking!Drafter!Reader

Fandom: Trolls 3: Band Together

Relationship: Romantic

Synopsis: You’ve been overworking yourself, and Veneer’s not having it.

Warnings: Reader overworking himself, Veneer lecturing Reader

“Just finish this drawing, and then you can rest.”

That’s what you’ve told yourself six times. So obviously, you haven’t gotten your rest yet. You don’t know why you have so much trouble stopping. You just feel the need to constantly be working. You’ve been working nonstop for almost three days, and your wrist was killing you. Not to mention, you’re absolutely exhausted. But you won’t stop.

~~~~

“Why won’t he pick up? Do you think he’s okay?” Veneer asked his sister. He’s tried calling you seven times already, and you haven’t answered. He was getting really worried, and starting to pace.

“Veneer, for like, the millionth time, I do not know! If you’re so concerned, just go visit him.” Velvet responded, just wanting her brother to leave her alone.

“You know what, I will!” His mood changed to a more happy one, excited to see you. He grabbed his car keys, and drove to your work.

~~~~

The moment Veneer arrived, he was frantically searching for you. When he finally found you, he called out your name, causing you to jump. He ran into your arms. “You’re okay!”

“Uh… yeah? Oh course I’m okay, why wouldn’t I be?” You asked, puzzled.

Veneer pulled away. “Because you haven’t answered any of my calls! I’ve tried calling you so many times!”

You were slightly shocked and confused, so you pulled your phone out of your bag. Seven missed calls. “Oh…. sorry. I guess I was so busy, I didn’t notice.”

Veneer scoffed, his lips forming into a pout. “Yeah. Of course you were busy. You’ve been busy for the past three days! I haven’t even seen your face until now! Why even are you so busy? Is it your boss? I can talk to them if they’re making you work too hard!”

“Oh, no, that’s okay! It’s not my boss. I guess one day I just… kept going and never stopped.”

Veneer didn’t quite understand what you meant. He glanced over at your desk, looking at the many papers, supplies and your cluttered computed screen.

“Why? You look so tired, so why haven’t you stopped?” He asked, genuinely confused.

“I don’t know. I just get like this sometimes. I start working, and I don’t let myself stop.” You sat on your chair, taking a much needed rest. You looked sleep deprived and malnourished, and Veneer did not like it.

“Babe, that not okay. You need to stop working.”

“I know… but I just want to finish this one-“

“No (name). It’s time to stop. Right now.” Veneer pulled you out of your chair, and grabbed your bag for you. You were going to protest some more, but he had this strict and determined look that made you cave.

“Fine.” Veneer smiled, and you both went to his car. You didn’t realize how tired you really were, until you fell asleep in the passenger’s seat.

Veneer promised himself that he’d never let you overwork yourself again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Hey, I was the one that made the shinobu and whiny reader request a few days ago, (the one with the need of comfort b/c of the nephew thing) and I thought of a few new details... the reader is a hashira and is sent on a week-long mission and when they're going back, they break their arm, so they have to stay at the butterfly mansion b/c if they aren't watched, they'll go out and slay demons while injured. Reader and Shinobu have always been civil, but never really talked until now b/c Shinobu is the one taking care of reader most. Do you think this is enough detail? Sorry if it's not, and take care of yourself!

Hi, so I'm so sorry this took so long! I tried to get it done as fast as I possibly could. I hope you enjoy it and I hope it helps. Again, I'm so sorry it took so long

Warnings: injury? none really, just fluff.

Word Count: 1770

     Walking along the dirt path, you let out a tired sigh. It had been a rather long mission and right now you just wanted to flop down onto your futon and sleep. Granted, a week wasn’t the longest mission you’d ever heard of, but a week-long mission in a high-altitude swamp chasing a demon that seemed to enjoy sending you in circles made things seem longer. By the time you’d removed the demon’s head from its shoulders, you were covered in sweat and swamp grime, struggling to take in enough oxygen, muscles aching from literal days chasing the demon, and sleep deprived from having to constantly be on alert. The swamp hadn’t been particularly shaded, but this demon clearly knew the swamp and when and where to strike, making rest difficult. 

     Your vision blurred for a moment as you kept trudging along. Sure, you could stop by an inn, get a shower, some sleep, a warm meal, but to what end? Both your uniform and your spare clothes had been doused in swamp water and covered in mud, meaning you’d just have to put the dirty clothes back on and it would use up the last of the cash you had on hand. No, it was just better to save your money to buy some food on the way home and continue going.

     At least, that’s what you had originally thought. Perhaps if you’d stopped you wouldn’t be in this situation. Perhaps if you’d gotten a bit of sleep, you wouldn’t be here. Laying on one of the hospital beds at the butterfly mansion, arm wrapped up in a cast, staring down Shinobu as she scolded you again. 

     “You need to rest, you can’t go out on missions while you’re injured like this.” Shinobu said. Even though she was annoyed with you, she still held her signature smile as you groaned.

     “Oh come on, Shinobu, it’s fine. I’m not planning on going out to take on any of the lower moons, just small fries. I mean, what’s one small demon here or there? It’s not like they’re an actual threat to a hashira.” you argued as you swung your legs over the side of the bed. Honestly, you didn’t know why they’d even put you on the bed, it’s not like you planned on staying here.

     “It doesn’t matter if they’re a threat, you’re still injured, you need to rest and recover. You can’t do that if you’re out hunting demons. With your arm broken, you won’t have full range of movement and demons will see it as a weak point. You need rest. Now lay back down, you’re not going anywhere.” she said sternly, making you hesitate.

     “What do you mean ‘not going anywhere’? I’m fine, I can go back home. It’s not like I was poisoned or bleeding internally. It’s just a broken arm.” you said warily, giving her a concerned look.

     “I mean, you’re going to stay here at the butterfly mansion where I can keep an eye on you. If you can’t behave and rest at home, then I’ll keep you here where I can watch over you.” the smile on her face as she said this contradicted her annoyance at having to keep you here, but she was a doctor first and foremost and she wouldn’t let you try to sneak out again. 

     “What? No, I… come on, that’s really not necessary. I’ll… I’ll rest this time, really. Besides, I don’t want to inconvenience you.” you said with a nervous laugh, becoming more and more concerned by the minute. Okay, you weren’t actually planning on resting, but knowing Shinobu, she wasn’t going to let you out of her sight.

     “No, you’re not going anywhere. If I can’t trust you to rest at home, I’m going to make you rest here. End of story.” she said, giving you a threatening look. Normally you wouldn’t be intimidated by the woman, she was short and not particularly muscular or strong. Her sword was proof of that, made specifically to be lightweight enough for her to wield. That being said, the look she gave you had you sitting back down on the bed and relenting. The look on her face told you there was no arguing with her on this point, you would be staying here under her care and supervision or she’d do something far more drastic.

     If you were being honest, being forced to stay at the butterfly mansion wasn’t as bad as you’d thought. Shinobu hadn’t confined you to your bed or ordered Kanao to watch over you 24/7. She hadn’t forced you to sit around doing nothing or told you to ‘sit quietly and read’, not that you minded reading, but how could you just sit there and do nothing but read while there were things you could be doing? Instead she allowed you to do some light training, help Aoi cook, or grab things for the younger girls. Granted, you knew part of the reason why she let you help was so that Kanao, Aoi, and the girls could keep an eye on you, but at least you weren’t lying in bed bored out of your mind.

     Opening the door to Shinobu’s office, you smiled. The two of you had been spending a lot of time together lately. Talking, training, taking walks, or just enjoying a cup of tea together. You’d never been on bad terms with Shinobu, quite the contrary, the two of you had always been fairly cordial with each other. Perhaps not quite friends, but you respected each other. Things felt different now, though, more… special, more caring. It wasn’t just being polite to each other or acknowledging each other’s skills as a hashira, there was something there now. 

     Looking up at you, Shinobu couldn’t help but smile softly. Her smile felt less and less forced around you. Less like something she had to keep up and more like something that she genuinely wanted to do, you made her smile. Your presence, your conversations, everything just made her feel at peace. When she was around you, she wasn’t as angry, she could forget her hatred of demons and her need for their extermination for a few minutes. At least until you had to leave once more and she was left to her thoughts again. 

     “Y/n, is there something you need or have you just come to visit?” Shinobu asked, secretly hoping that you’d come here for her. You raised a tray with some hot tea and snacks, giving her a small smile.

     “Just uh, thought we could have a snack together.” you said, watching as Shinobu’s smile softened and nodded.

     “That sounds great. I could use a break anyway.” she said as she stood up. 

     The two of you walked through the garden together, smiles plastered to both of your faces. Taking a deep breath, you looked at her, trying to get your heart to calm down. She’d been doing that for a while now, making your heart race. She wasn’t even aware of the effect she was having on you, yet she had you feeling like you should have her check you for heart problems. Your arm was almost healed and instead of being excited about being able to go back on missions, you were dreading leaving the butterfly mansion. Part of you wondered if maybe you should break your arm again on your next mission just to be ‘forced’ back here again. Stopping in front of a wisteria tree, you looked over at her.

     “Hey Shinobu, can… can I be honest with you? I mean, I know I can, uh, sort of. You said I could and I get that but I just need to be really honest with you and there’s some things I ne-” your rambling was stopped by a finger to your lips, her smile making your heart race faster.

     “Of course. I’m your friend, you can talk to me about anything.” she said, her voice surprisingly soft. Taking a deep breath, you nodded and closed your eyes for a moment.

     “That’s sort of the thing. I don’t want to be friends. Not in a bad way of course!” you said, the last part coming out rushed, hoping she wouldn’t misunderstand you. “I just mean that, well, uh… I kind of like you. Not… just as a friend. I was hoping maybe I could, I don’t know, take you on a date or something? Just uh, if you want. I know you often do things because you think you should, but I want you to want this, you know? I don’t want you to go out with me because you think I should. So if you’re not comforta-” your rambling was once again cut off by her finger to your lips, a soft look in her eyes.

     “I’m sure Kanao can cover for me for one night, but I shouldn’t be out too late in case someone needs me for anything.” Shinobu said. The look in her eyes had your heart melting as you stared at her.

     “Then uh, how about I make dinner here? Kanao can take over the basic stuff but you’re still here if someone needs surgery. I know of a few good recipes and I’m not the worst cook in the world. And uh, if you hate it, you can just, not eat it, I suppose. I hope that’s not a deal breaker, I just don’t want you to get your hopes up super high about my cooking a-”

      “Dinner here sounds great and I think it would be great to try your cooking.” she said, cutting you off before you could ramble too much again. You grinned and nodded happily, trying not to get too excited. You really didn’t want to mess this up too early by scaring her off from getting too excited. Taking yet another deep breath, you were caught off guard when you felt her hand take yours, her small hands holding yours surprisingly tightly. Despite her lack of strength, she held your hand as if it were her sword, with unwavering strength, not wanting to let go of you. The young woman giggled as the tripped over a tree root, too dazed by the new feelings in your chest to pay attention where you were walking. She was holding your hand. She’d said yes to the date. She was… happy to be with you. Now you just had to keep from passing out from excitement and jubilation, it probably wouldn’t be good if your date had to nurse you back to health on your first date.

[kurov1864]

Milgram characters as animals

I am so very high and sleep deprived so I apologize if my writing is whack

Amane: Cat. More specifically, a kitten. A traumatized one. She would be a very curious kitten. Always exploring around the house and very eager to try new things. She doesn't get shaken up by new people that easily unless they actually do something to her, and treats the owners with a degree of indifference. Pet her? She won't melt or purr. Call her name? Maybe a head turn if you're lucky. Try to pick her up? Hisses and scratches. Your hand will not escape unscathed. Death to the unbeliever.

Fuuta: Another cat. I think many people are gonna be cats but like. Oh well. Very aggressive. Will bite and hiss if you so much as try to touch him within the first month of getting him. After you break down his walls though, he'll allow you to touch him with minimal grumbling. Would absolutely 100% melt into your pets, unconsciously would purr then immediately stop when he sees you chuckling. Very touch starved so he'll stare at you from around the corner begging you to pet him with his eyes. Either he's a cat or a very angry, short and loud chihuahua.

Kotoko: Wolf. Pretty obvious. She's also not your pet, more like a wild animal that you befriended but you're not sure. Kinda hangs around your house, maybe she's protecting you? Or she could be seeing if you make a good meal. You honestly never know, since you're not a professional wolf reader and neither am I. Would only allow you to touch her fur once in a blue moon, if she growls then you're better off just staying away from her. She appreciates you leaving out food and water, though you would have to bring the bowls inside often seeing how she only comes back like once a month.

Mikoto: Raccoon. Why? I don't know. It's cute, so I'm gonna forcibly smash his character into a racoon stereotype. He's probably very friendly and comfortable around you, since he's been living in human neighbourhoods for a very long time. He tried becoming the new Vincent Van Gogh by dipping his tiny grubby paws in your paint and tracking it across the floor and walls. You don't mind much, it's kinda cute. Would have lived in your kitchen cardboards if you didn't babyproof the place, so now he just visits your house every day begging for food.

John: Doberman. Has that no-nonsense and constantly tired of the stupid shit you do face, especially since your safety is number 1 to him. Probably a rescue, so he'll be very on guard against you at first, but once he starts to really trust you, then he'll simply become on guard against the rest of the world. After all, you're the stupid human that keeps stubbing their toe or falling over nothing, so obviously you need his protection against this cruel and unusual force of nature called life. Loves head scratches though, probably the only time when he lets down his guard and allows himself to relax and enjoy the moment.

Haruka: Bunny. Listen. Bunnies can die of loneliness. That's him. That's him right there. Very shy at first, but also really clingy. He probably has a lot of health issues from constantly ignoring his need for survival (is that even possible?) to potentially spend more time with you. This makes you hand-feed him, so he just does it even more. Congratulations, you are now in a dependent relationship with a very blue bunny. Clap clap clap.

Muu: Pomeranian. Turn up your thermostat all you like but this girl is never going to stop shaking. She's also the shy type, but only at first. After you make it clear that you won't harm/sell/throw her away in any manner, then she just becomes your very spoiled daughter. Constantly demands your attention and so does her body that has what I like to call "the constitution of a Victorian orphan". Try to give her low-quality dog food? She won't even glance at it. Anything less then a 100$ dog shampoo and conditioner will make her fur fall off. Soon after you take her in, you'll be spending more than half your income on her. And if you even dare try to reprimand her for bad behaviour, oh what do you know now she's sulking and whimpering and acting as if she's Y/N and you're her evil stepmother trying to sell her off to the big bad alpha werewolf mafia boss CEO of Korea.

Mahiru: Golden retriever. Not a surprise. Jumps on you the moment you get home and showers you with love. She's like happy 24/7. How does she do it? We'll never know. But hey, at least now you have a miniature sun running around your house. You'll never have to pay electricity bills again! She is quite clingy though, so be prepared to start suffocating every morning when she pounces on you. Probably thinks she's a cat that can sit on your face and lap with little problems, but she's actually a very big and heavy dog that's half your body size. So no Mahiru, you can't keep trying to sit on them. You're going to crush them with your weight. I'm not fatshaming, I'm just trying to save a life.

Shidou: Birb. What birb? Just birb. Pretty chill for the most part. Idk, I don't really know much about Shidou. Either he's a birb or a turtle. Like the type that just sunbathes in an artificial light on an artificial rock 24/7. I think he would be a parrot, maybe. One of those white/gray ones, with a bit of yellow on their heads. Are those parrots? Dunno. He vibes to music pretty well, and also shows concern through very strategically placed pecks on your skin. Similar to John, he feels as if he has to take care of your stupid human tendencies so he collects items that he thinks would be useful and brings them to you. He's just not very good at picking out which items are useful, so don't blame him when he tries to bring a frying pan and accidentally dislocates his claws or something.

Yuno: Cat. Temperamental and only acts according to their mood. Store-bought or literally auctioned off. She gives off those smarty pants vibes, like she knows how to act to increase her value. She'll be very affectionate and well-behaved at first, but when you realize she's getting more moody and haughty, you'll ask the seller. Turns out that's just her natural personality and you've been deceived, but what does that matter? She's your pet so now you're obligated to take care of her for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not. Good thing she's absolutely adorable right? Only a monster would be able to say no to that face. And when she's in a good mood... boy you better drop everything you're doing and savor what little attention she'll give you. You think she's the pet? Nah. You're the pet and she took you in.

Es: Cat!!! Again!!! Very tsundere. Similar to Fuuta, but in a much more serious manner. I'm not sure how to describe it, like imagine they will just try to walk everywhere with a ~purpose~. So with this ~purpose~ they'll walk into your lap and subtly hint that they want head pats, and again with ~purpose~ they'll walk away when your stupid ass can't understand what they want, acting as if the whole time they're this evil mastermind and that whole drama sequence was to confuse you so you'll stay on guard around them.

Kazui: Horse. Desires freedom and whatnot. How did you even get a horse. How rich are you. Not very high maintenance, well as low maintenance a horse can get anyways. He's probably the only one that I wouldn't write something goofy for. Very fast horse, but he'll try to keep things moderate so he doesn't damage your slow-ass brain. I take that back I can totally imagine him doing something goofy. Sentimental, and also kinda delusional. Wants to ride off into the sunset type shit except that he's the main character so he's just running alone with no one riding him. Speaking of which, he low-key kinda hates anyone trying to ride him but you're okay I guess since you don't try to control him much so as long as he doesn't send you flying you just let him do whatever he wants.

Jackalope: ... He's literally a jackalope. Why am I even including him. I'll lock him up in a cage and hang him from my rooftop, praying that he gets struck by lightning.

[cybrpwup]

ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴋɪꜱꜱ || ʙɪɢᴛ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Tanner x reader !!

warnings; none summary; Tanner is a big flirt Requested?; Yes ! ↳ could you write a big t fluff imagine where he constantly flirts with the shy!fem!reader? maybe w prompts 15 and 18!

"That one's easy, definitely Yumi" you say confidently,"No way, it's gotta be Nick" Larry replies laughing and gets a scoff in reply from Nick. "Tanner, we all know it's you"

You were participating in last to leave vc with the group; talking about anything and everything in your sleep deprived brains. You had recently moved into their house. The call had ended up being a talk about who is a virgin out of all of you.

You shifted, clutching a pillow under your chin, as Isaac wheezes while an argument ensues. Nick mutters something that sounds like a string of curse words, too tired to make a full sentence, "hmm actually I'm changing my answer. Definitely Tanner" you chuckle and Tanner glares at his camera."Y/n, if we're really being honest you're the biggest virgin I've ever met" Tanner says and you roll your eyes at the male."Am not" The two of you bicker for a while with the other's chiming in.

By this time someone notices Larry is snoring, "No way hes sleeping,"

--

You didn't know how long you'd been sitting in your chair and you groan uncomfortably. You yawn, growing tired."Alright, who hasn't had their first kiss yet?" Tanner asks and chuckles. "we're back on this topic?" Isaac sighs "Well I've never actually.... had mine" You mutter under your breath barely audible."What? Speak up Y/N" Tanner says teasingly. You knew full well he heard, but just wanted to make fun of you, "yea Y/n, what was that you said?" Yumi laughs, saying in a higher-pitched voice. "Jeez, you're both so annoying. I said I've never had my first kiss. Happy now?" You're glad the lights are out and no one can see your face."Yes, very" He goes silent for a minute before breaking the silence, he leans into his mic talking low, "I could fix that," he says all of a sudden, sounding smug. It takes a minute to process what he'd said and when you do, you feel your face flush a shade of red. You know he jokes like this all the time, but it stills makes your heartbeat spike."Don't get all embarrassed it's not like I meant anything by it, I just.. nevermind forget I said anything" Tanner says, losing his confidence and you regain your composure."No no I mean it's just a kiss... I didn't mean to-" you catch yourself before you start rambling on and on, "Yea sure," you say looking down at your hands. You just said yes to him being your first kiss.

By now everybody was making jokes about your interaction even getting a "get a room." From Grunk and "Stop flirting." You could never tell if Tanner liked you or not, you flirted a lot and he always acted like he was interested in you, but he was never clear about his feelings towards you.

--

you looked at yourself in your webcam, the dark circles under your eyes had only gotten darker from the last time you'd checked. As tired as you were, you couldn't sleep, you were determined to win and didn't know if you have time to sleep tonight again if this continued on. An exaggerated sigh escaped your lips, " 'm so sleeepyy." you groaned, attempting to rub the sleep from your eyes."someone tuck poor y/n in so she can sleep." Isaac taunted followed by his own laugh. "if you leave the vc I will too and we can cuddle." Tanner batted his eyelashes at you and pouted his lip. "are you trying to flirt with me?" You joked"Yeah, is it working?" He whispered into his mic like you'd be the only one who could hear him. "You're so dumb..." You pulled your pillow in front of your face so only your eyes were peaking out, "but yes, it's working."

--

You're sitting in your room, resting on your bed and staring at the ceiling. Last to leave vc was over and everyone was either sleeping or down in the kitchen. You huff as you get up, thinking about what Tanner had said and before you can even think you're in front of his door. Your knuckles rap softly against the door and it doesn't take long for the door to open, "Hi." You blurt out, your hands fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, "Shut the door on my face if this is done, but I can't stop thinking about..you know," You couldn't look him in the eyes and they stayed on the floor. "are you sure?" He laughs and you nod, surprised by his voice "ok I was just joking I didn't think you'd actually say yes, alright it's just a kiss don't be too nervous...just do what feels right I guess" he had a slight red tint on his face which didn't make you feel any more confidentThe taller male lead you into his room and you took a spot on his bed.it would be an understatement to say you liked Tanner, you were hopelessly in love with him, you couldn't seem to act normal around him ever. You stare at him not sure what to do, he grabs the sides of your face with one of his hands and leans in just hovering in front of you; even in a sitting position it seemed like he towered over you.His breath was warm on your face. He gave you one last time to back out but if anyone was gonna give you your first kiss you'd be more than glad to have it be Tanner.Finally, your lips locked together and your lips seemed to move on their own, seeming to know exactly what to do. Your hand moved to the back of his head playing with the loose strands that hung at the back of his neck. He pulled away all too soon and you could see a smirk playing on his lips."That was.. nice" was all you could mutter out, you still didn't want to let go of him and you both stayed staring at each other for a bit, his eyes mesmerizing you. He gives you a heart-stopping smile and you lean in again, kissing him more passionately and more confident this time. When you separate for air you finally let go of him, with a grin playing on your face.You only then realize the hand on your back, running up and down. "I like you, Tanner." it seemed to have slipped right through your lips, but it was too late to take it back, "which I feel like it was obvious now that I say it out loud. . ." "Y/n, it was anything but obvious. You give out like so many mixed signals. I don't think you've ever even tried to flirt with me." Tanner laughed, shifting his body to place your legs over his thighs; your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck to hold you up, "I was always flirting with you." You say defensively and he raises an eyebrow to that, "What? when did that ever happen?" Your eyes shifted to the ceiling, "I mean I looked at you... and you sometimes looked back..."

--

"We should try to sleep now" you suggest, still blushing and your gaze still locked onto him "Yea," Tanner says, smiling down at you with that stupid smile that you fell in love with.

Tanner stands up and you follow him to the door. He grabs your chin and leans in again kissing you lightly on the cheek "Goodnight, Y/n" he says whispering into your ear before opening the door and letting you step out. "Goodnight," you say giving him one last kiss. He closes the door and you walk back to your room. As you lay in bed your head is full of thoughts about Tanner and you fall asleep with a giddy smile on your face

[saphushia]

do you have any more head cannons for Phantom Etho? I just am enamored with your ethos stuff-

hmmm i can probably think of a few-

he's not that good at flying. his wings disappear whenever he gets too far from someone sleep deprived, so to practice someone has to keep up with him on elytra. he's had enough practice to be a passable flyer, but even so it tires him out and he really only does it on occasion when he's bothering someone for not sleeping and swooping at them for fun. the rest of the time he uses elytra and rockets like normal

i originally drew his wings with inspiration from albatross- long slender wings that are best for soaring great lengths with very little energy use, but after some thought i think i'm gonna start drawing them more in the shape of an osprey's- the way it swoops for fish is far more reminiscent to phantoms to me than the albatross is.

i'm still tossing the idea back and forth, but i'm thinking etho hasn't always been a phantom hybrid. the phantom hasn't always existed, after all, and etho has existed in the universe quite a long time. quite longer than phantoms have. it's normal when worlds change, when a world is updated, that things in the world act in ways they never would have had the update either been there from the start, or never happened at all (who hasn't had a world break a little by loading it into a new version? more so if that world has seen many changes before it). it makes sense then, that when the universe changes, being given new rules, new qualities, new code, that players may sometimes change similar to how worlds do. that something in them becomes something it didn't used to be.

in reference to the previous, phantoms were added in 1.13, which released in 2018, one day before the start of hc s6. however, etho wasn't there for s6, and thus likely discovered his change while on his singleplayer world. or, well, he would have, except. there's no one other than him there, and he changes in reaction to other people. now, it's possible that he can constantly see himself in his phantom form. it makes sense, even! it's simply that he appears normal to well-rested onlookers. however, the MUCH funnier option, is that that's not true and he looks normal, so he just didn't fucking notice. as best i can tell from some cursory searching, the first time he's with other people after the 1.13 update is playing diversity 3 with the rest of team canada (which is 1.14, nearly a YEAR after phantoms are added). meaning he probably realized then, likely scaring all 3 of them to death because, while it's not unheard of for players to change during updates when new mobs appear, it is surprising to call up your buddy to go on a new adventure and then realize partway through that he's been a whole ass creature for a YEAR and he didn't notice. beef and pause laugh at him for a while over that

(for future reference, i'd appreciate if you didn't use colored text to send me asks. i understand it's likely a signature thing, but it's hard to read on dark theme with the screen filters i use, and while it's not the end of the world because i can read it, i'd prefer to not have to highlight or copy it somewhere else just to read a message in my inbox)

[hayatoseyepatch]

SAM! CONGRATULATIONS ON THE 500!!

About me: pronouns are she/her. Im An ambivert? I have super bad social anxiety. except around a very few select people. I'm both simultaneously sleep deprived and over caffeinated. I love learning about law. I'm sometimes a sarcastic asshole and most of the time I don't intend to be so sarcastic it just comes out.

Fandoms- (idk if you consider us moots yet👉👈) so if so then please can I ask for windbreaker and demon slayer. If not! Then just windbreaker

Type: honestly Irl men I don't have a type,😂 fictional men. I tend to love the morally grey, big men, the scruffy tired men. Old men. Dilfs.🤭🫣...personally prefer to be paired with male

Favorites: windbreaker: Endo, umemiya, hiragi, kanji. Demon slayer: tengen(his wives) gyomei, sanemi, rengoku.

Icks: none!

Reye (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) ♡ You’re literally so sweet thank you for your congratulations!! And ofc we’re moots don’t be silly love! And since you requested two here you go ♡

Okay so I wanna say that your second one contains smut, if that’s too much or not something you want to read the last thing I wanna do is make you uncomfortable. Please take this as an invitation to dm or shoot me another ask requesting a new one and I’d be more than happy to give that to you bb (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ Now lets get on with it!!

⤜♡→ I mean come on this is my blog, someone was getting him. This man is the epitome of DEVOTION. He would worship the ground you walked on. You have social anxiety? Motormouth Maybelle over here will do all the talking. You want coffee from your favorite coffee shop across town? Looks like he's making a trip. This man is chronically mischaracterized as a violent playboy and I won't stand for it!

⤜♡→ When Endo is in love it consumes him. You are on his thoughts always. He sees a cute little trinket of you favorite animal? He's picking it up just to see you smile. He would do anything for you. When Endo falls in love he falls in love HARD.

⤜♡→ He's such a yearner. He craves your presence constantly and misses your touch when it isn't available to him. I feel like after meeting Sakura he beings to develop more emotional intelligence. Now aware of the difference between love and obsession. He'll give you space if you need it, but will always be a phone call away.

⤜♡→ He looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky for him, and if you asked he would find a way to bring you the moon if that was what you wanted. He adores you and nothing in this life or the net could stop hi from loving you with every fiber of his being.

Endo smiled to himself, he loved watching you work, whether it was the way you sat at your desk cute tongue poking out and a little furrow in your brow when you were in a complete form of concentration or the way he could unabashedly stare at your side profile uninterrupted. But nothing compared to watching you like this, there was a different air than when you were stressed from working. Your eyes were focused on the screen before you. He could watch you for hours, just content to watch you, your beauty incomparable in his eyes. He loved the calm that rested over your expression, allowing him to take in every one of your features before you noticed him, completely lost in your own little world.

His favorite moments were ones like these, your beautiful voice that he wasn’t often graced with singing out due to the presumption that you were alone. He finally approaches, his eyes scanning your relaxed form. eyes softening and heart swelling. He opts to flicker the light in the room to gain your attention, rather than risking sneaking up from behind and catching your right hook, knowing better than to make that mistake more than once. Snorting as you jump a bit. “Hi baby~ Sorry I’m late traffic was fucking ridiculous, but I brought tea as a peace offering.” He smiles holding up the cup of coffee. Endo knew just how you liked your order, never once getting it wrong.

He took a seat next to you, handing you the coffee only to watch you sit it down on the table. He offers a hand, palm offered for you to take. “You’ve been cooped up in here all day, why don’t you take a break, hm?” He smiled, aiding you in crawling into his lap when you take his hand, pressing kisses to your collarbone after you had done so, arms securing themselves around your waist and humming in contentment as your familiar scent wafts into his senses. He always found home in your arms and he never wanted to be anywhere else.

⤜♡→ OOO GIRL I HEARD DILFS. You’ve come to the right place. I know we’ve talked about him super briefly before but when you said big morally grey dilfs I HAD to pull out this absolute DADDY. This former warlord of the sea is an absolute MENACE.

⤜♡→ Crocodile has met his match when it comes to you, the only one brave enough to throw sarcasm his way, it's a battle of wits. One in which there is no clear victor. Though those around you are more concerned with the fact that you are still breathing after talking to him like that.

⤜♡→ With that being said, Crocodile has a clear soft spot for you. No one who values their life brings it up though. They all remember what happened to the last poor soul who did.

⤜♡→ This man never believed in love, thought it foolish and childish. he saw no gain from something as silly as affection. He saw it as a clear weakness. However one morning as the sun's rays slipped through his windows, casting a euphoric glow over your still bare form from the night before, did he realize that he was capable of such feelings. Because even he couldn't deny thats exactly what was swarming in his chest as he leans down to press a kiss on your sleeping face.

⤜♡→ He tries to cut things off then and there, but with the days that follow he realizes he can't go on without you. Finding you and pressing a desperate kiss to your lips. For once uncaring if anyone saw, he needed you by his side. And anyone who dared to try him wouldn't live to tell the tale.

(Okay here's the smut, some warnings before you take a look: size difference, praise, dcryphilla, implied being caught, mentions of violence)

Crocodile grinned maliciously, if there was one thing he loved more than anything it was watching tears cascade down your cheeks. You always looked so beautiful when crying. But not from sadness, no, you see Crocodile would give a slow painful arduous death to anyone who dared even look at you the wrong way. Not his prized gem, his greatest treasure, far more valuable to him than the One Piece itself. No, never those kinds of tears. He instead loved the tears that streamed down your cheeks as you lost yourself on his cock. Whether it was you absolutely lost in pleasure, his name the only word on your lips, or as you were now: struggling to take the sheer size of his girth. Leaning forward he let a large hand come to your face, his thumb swiping some of the tears that had slipped past your lashes. “Here, doll, I’ll be generous.” He brings the same thumb between your legs using your own tears as lube to guide the rubbing of his thumb on your clit. Smirking at the shudder that wracks your form from the contact.

“Come on sweetness, you’re only halfway there and you're fussing this much already? You’d think after all the times you’ve taken my cock this wouldn’t be so hard on you.” He tsks, feigning sympathy, but you both know he is anything but sympathetic. Especially not when he lays a large hand on your shoulder. “And since I’m feeling so generous why don’t you let me help you, hm?” Using his hand as leverage, he forces your body to take the rest of him, basking in the loud drawn-out moan you let out as he bottoms out. “Atta girl.” He purrs.” See I knew you could do it.” He gives you a moment to adjust to his size, grinning once more as you begin to move. Right as you begin to set a steady pace, his head thrown back in the feeling of you, a shrill ring sounds from the communicator device on his desk. Your eyes blow wide as his hand is drawn to it. Placing a finger on his lips as he levels you with a mischievous look. “You gotta be quiet, kitten, I’d hate to have to stop fucking you to kill whoever’s on the other line for hearing the sounds that are meant for my ears only.” And as he answers the device you could only hope who was on the other end knew how to hold their own, because with the way his hand was guiding your hips you knew being silent was out of the question.

[bebouhito]

Nanahito domestic AU, past mpreg, fluff, 600 words ↓↓↓

Nanami stirs with a groan. "What?"

"Psst. Kento?"

"Are you sleeping?"

Nanami squints his eyes. He really can't afford to lose a single hour of sleep during the short periods of time that the baby isn't crying. 

"I was… Why did you wake me up?"

No answer. He rolls over on his back and sighs.

"Mahito, what is it?"

"You sound mad." Mahito replies with a little voice. Nanami turns his head to look at him.

"I'm not, I'm just tired. You should be sleeping too."

"How can you sleep?"

Nanami props himself up on his elbow to get a better look at Mahito. The curse is sitting with his knees drawn to his chest.

"What do you mean?" 

"Don't you feel it too?"

Mahito looks genuinely upset, so, despite going back to bed being the only thing Nanami wants to do, he tries to be patient.

"I'm sorry, but it's four in the morning and I have no idea what you're talking about. Can't it wait a few hours?"

Mahito's frown intensifies and shows that, no, it cannot wait.

"I think there's something in my belly, where the baby used to be, and it keeps telling me bad things could happen to him at any moment, even when everything's alright. I feel like he might be constantly needing something, even when he's not crying, and I doubt myself. I created a whole, fully functional human being, but now that he's his own person, I feel like this is too much, and so much bigger than me. When I look at him, I think he's sending emotional beams directly into my brain because I've never felt like this before. Can he do that?"

Nanami laughs softly and sits up, wrapping his arms around Mahito's upper body and resting his head on his shoulder.

"Maybe he can, because I feel the same."

"See! I was right!!" Mahito cries out a little bit too loud.

"Shhh." Nanami whispers in his ear. "It's parental anxiety. It's perfectly normal."

"But if you feel it too, then how can you sleep so well?"

"Well… I'm human, so I always needed more sleep than you in the first place. I also tell myself that I'm fully prepared to handle this… tiny human-curse hybrid and that I don't have to deal with all this on my own."

Mahito can tell Nanami is smiling as he refers to their newborn child as some sort of curious creature, which, to be honest, he kind of is.

"That means you can rely on me, and that, whatever happens, I'll be by your side." He adds, and Mahito, though he knows it, always feels a bit relieved to hear it from Nanami himself.

He pauses before asking:

"... Am I going to feel like this forever?"

"I'm afraid so."

Before Mahito can add anything, Nanami shifts their position and drapes his arm over Mahito's chest to gently pull him back onto the bed.

"But it's a good thing. It shows how much love you have for him. Everyday, I can tell; you are so, so loving."

Mahito practically melts into Nanami's arms. "I love you, too."

Wailing can be heard from the next room. Nanami sighs and presses a kiss to Mahito's forehead before getting out of bed. They both know it was supposed to be Mahito's turn to go.

"Get some sleep." Nanami orders him. "I can do a lot, but I can't handle two sleep-deprived babies at the same time."

Mahito doesn't protest. At the end of the day, even with the arrival of their son, he loves still being Nanami's baby.

[what-if-i-just-did]

Guilt & Revenge: Fatigue

Whumptober, Day 29

Guilt & Revenge Masterlist

Awh, poor Amber... Maybe he deserves it, though. He certainly seems to think so. It's almost the end of whumptober, I can't believe it. I'm very hurriedly finishing the last things I haven't finished so I can finish on time. Wish me luck! Hope ya'll enoy, and as always, lmk to be added to the taglist

TWs: chronic fatigue, long-term captivity, deprived of sense of time, and mentions of torture, partial starvation, being tied up, fear/acceptance over loss of control, crying, mental exhaustion, and nightmares

Amber was constantly exhausted. He’d slowly grown used to it over the past… months? Few years?

He had no sense of time, so he just took naps. He could be sleeping for two hours or ten, and he’d never know. What was even the point of a clock if the lights were always off? It just ticked the seconds away.

He tried sleeping as much as he could, knowing that he needed the rest, but sometimes he couldn’t. It’s hard to sleep when you’re in too much pain. Or haven’t eaten in days and days. Or are tied up.

And when your eyes are used to the darkness, the lack of light doesn’t help you sleep either. 

It didn’t matter anyways.

He’d just wake up tired again.

Sometimes he didn’t realize when he fell asleep. His eyes would drift closed, and then he’d wake up. No way to tell how much time had passed. It used to scare him, how much he didn’t have control over it, but he’d accepted it by now. He didn’t have control over anything, so why worry about when he slept?

He’d almost fallen asleep a few times when they were there. It was almost funny if it wasn’t for how risky and fear-inducing that was.

Every single movement cost so much effort. 

Getting up to go to the toilet. Standing. Holding up his arm. Crying. Taking off a shirt.

Any tiny movement was a whole mission with his chronic fatigue. It was exhausting- not just physically, but mentally. It was exhausting to constantly decide if something was worth the effort, if he’d need his energy for later. He never knew when they would show up, when his next meal would be, when his next torture session would be, how bad it would be…

Exhausted. Tired. Fatigued. Drained. Weary. Sleepy. Dead. Done. Lethargic. Drowsy. Spent. Whatever words and synonyms he used, the reality remained the same.

He had nightmares, too. Of course. Nobody could exist in the reality he was in without it leaching into his sleep, his only place of refuge. 

But it was the only thing left for him. He wouldn’t get anything else. This was his state of being now. His normal. Just… being tired. Always. 

[krahra]

Story Time: Introduction Part 1: My Husband

So not to overwhelm everyone with a bunch of information, I will be doing my back story in two parts. This is part one. 

For this, we will call me Krahra, technically it's a character name I use in a game I play but it is one that isn't well known by many people. (If by chance you know who it is please please keep quiet about who I am. This is more of a way for me to vent and track things). 

I'm in my 30s. I have been married for the last 13 years to who I thought was the love of my life. He came into our relationship with a boy who is now 18, but is with us for the rest of his life (I promise that will come out too). But together we have two children a boy and a girl (ages are not important). 

In the first 10 years of our marriage, every fight we would have would be him making cheating accusations at me. I have had to quit 3 different jobs because of his problems (whether it be because he won't talk to his work about adjusting his schedule so we can both work, or he didn't like who I was working with). The job he didn't like the people I was working with, I planned on transferring to another location but he didn't even give me a chance to transfer locations. 

Fast forward to the present day, while he doesn't make the accusations as often they still come up. Mind you, I have text proof of these accusations because I keep a file folder of screenshots from the text messages he has sent me. It tends to come if he's sleep-deprived. 

He has cheated emotionally and verbally over text and FB messaging, but nothing physical. I forgave him. This was around 2015. I have proof of this as well, as I never delete anything. He apologized and we made strides to improve our marriage. Accusations still stood. His excuse for the accusations "All my exes cheated on me including my baby mama, so you will just do the same". This is what led me to find out about what I consider cheating. 

The location we live at now is just down the road from where my kids go to school and is only a 20-minute walk to my school and also where I work. Since living here we got into a huge argument over the summer and he got physical with me. The only reason I struck back was in defense of myself. That was the night that while I love him for what he's given to me (my children, as I never thought I would have any), I'm no longer in love with him, but I think I stay with the hopes that it's going to come back. He doesn't realize this as I'm good at hiding my emotions from him and I have had to constantly do that because he can't be bothered if something is bothering me or I need to talk about something. No time is ever the right time. During the week when he has to work, he can't be bothered with things. On the weekend when he's off, he's too tired and needs to be able to sleep. Even when he was off work for an injury (not work related so no paid time off) I busted my ass with my hours (I'm limited to 20 hours a week) and extra things that I get paid through my work for, but it still wasn't good enough for him. He refused to get up with his son (my stepson) when he had to get on the bus at 6:20 in the morning even though I was the one getting up and working. I was still expected to clean the house when I got home, go get our youngest from school when I got home, and make sure everything was done for them, and that they were fed even when I had to work at night due to events going on, I still had to come home and make sure that the kids were fed or they wouldn't get fed at all. 

I'm hoping with this information you can understand why I'm starting this journal. It's more of a way to track things and to vent because I have no one to vent to. I'm not allowed to get my license. I'm not allowed to go out anywhere because he can't function without me around him constantly. It's to the point it starts to affect my job and the events I work for the extra money which by the way because he refuses to work the hours he needs to we have issues paying bills. Not sure what will happen with Christmas either. 

Anyways that's just the introduction about part of my life. Stay tuned for Part Two: The Stepson. In truth, he's the biggest problem out of the two, and I promise you will understand why I say that. 

[decaf-mother]

Songs I associate with simon:

Part 2

- The unforgiven - metallica

New blood joins this Earth

And quickly he's subdued

Through constant pained disgrace

The young boy learns their rules

With time the child draws in

This whipping boy done wrong

Deprived of all his thoughts

The young man struggles on and on, he's known

V vow unto his own

That never from this day

His will they'll take away

What I've felt, what I've known

Never shined through in what I've shown

Never be, never see

Won't see what might have been

Never free, never me

So I dub thee unforgiven

They dedicate their lives

To running all of his

He tries to please them all

This bitter man he is

Throughout his life the same

He's battled constantly

This fight he cannot win

A tired man they see no longer cares

The old man then prepares

To die regretfully

That old man here is me

Never free, never me

So I dub thee unforgiven

You labeled me, I'll label you

So I dub thee unforgiven

- Welcome home (sanitarium) - Metallica

Welcome to where time stands still

No one leaves and no one will

Moon is full, never seems to change

Just labelled mentally deranged

Dream the same thing every night

I see our freedom in my sight

No locked doors, no windows barred

No things to make my brain seem scarred

Sleep my friend, and you will see

The dream is my reality

They keep me locked up in this cage

Can't they see it's why my brain says rage?

Sanitarium, leave me be

Sanitarium, just leave me alone

Build my fear of what's out there

Cannot breathe the open air

Whisper things into my brain

Assuring me that I'm insane

They think our heads are in their hands

But violent use brings violent plans

Keep him tied, it makes him well

He's getting better, can't you tell?

No more can they keep us in

Listen, damn it, we will win

They see it right, they see it well

But they think this saves us from our hell

Fear of living on

Natives getting restless now

Mutiny in the air

Got some death to do

Mirror stares back hard

Kill, it's such a friendly word

Seems the only way

For reaching out again

- Would? - Alice in chains

Know me broken by my master

Teach thee on child, love of hereafter

Into the flood again

Same old trip it was back then

So I made a big mistake

Try to see it once my way

Drifting body, it's sole desertion

Flying not yet, quite the notion

Am I wrong?

Have I run too far to get home?

Have I gone?

And left you here alone?

Am I wrong?

Have I run too far to get home?

Have I gone?

And left you here alone?

If I would, could you?

- Down in a hole - Alice in chains

Bury me softly in this womb

I give this part of me for you

Sand rains down and here I sit

Holding rare flowers

In a tomb, in bloom

Down in a hole and I don't know if I can be saved

See my heart I decorate it like a grave

You don't understand who they thought

I was supposed to be

Look at me now a man

Who won't let himself be

Down in a hole, feelin' so small

Down in a hole, losin' my soul

I'd like to fly, but my wings have been so denied

Down in a hole and they've put all the stones in their place

I've eaten the sun so my tongue

Has been burned of the taste

I have been guilty of kicking myself in the teeth

I will speak no more of my feelings beneath

- Nutshell - Alice in chains

We chase misprinted lies

We face the path of time

And yet I fight, and yet I fight

This battle all alone

No one to cry to

No place to call home

My gift of self is raped

My privacy is raked

And yet I find, and yet I find

Repeating in my head

If I can't be my own

I'd feel better dead

Just going through the rest of these that you've sent in now so I won't comment on all of them but I will share all of them.

[concoctionboy]

Well... thanks. I kind of feel bad now that I haven't been posting much lately (okay, I actually already felt bad that I hadn't been posting much lately), but it's good to know someone cares.

Eh, I usually try to avoid making OOC posts on this account, but I guess I kind of feel like there's some things I should say, because, well, I really do feel kind of guilty about not posting more often. I mean, I know that's really not something I should feel guilty about, but I guess I do anyway, and... I wanted to provide a bit of an explanation.

I'll put the rest of this post behind a cut, because it may get kind of long and rambly.

Mainly, it's just that I've been really busy with work the last few weeks; I've been working almost every day, and I don't always have reliable internet access where I work, so even if I do have some down time during work I can't really post on Tumblr. (Well, I guess I could post on my phone with the app, but eh, I guess I'm old-fashioned enough I'm still more comfortable posting on my computer—although even using my phone wouldn't always be possible; a little while back for most of a week I was working where I didn't even have a wifi signal.) I could post when I get home, but by the time I get home I've usually been too tired to do much—which is also the case on those few days I haven't been working. I haven't been getting nearly as much sleep as I ought to, and I've just been so constantly tired. (That post I made a week ago where I mentioned I was sleep deprived? Yeah.) There have been times even at work I've had to struggle to stay awake. I really need to get more sleep, but... there's so much I want to do and there's so little time to do it after work that I've been staying up later than I should trying to get things done... and then of course I'm exhausted the next day, and the cycle continues.

And the other thing is, I'm kind of reluctant to say this because I'm afraid it might come across wrong, but... honestly, posting here has kind of started to feel like an... obligation? And I don't mean that I don't want to post, and I don't mean that I'd be happier if I didn't. I just mean that... I guess as difficult as it is to find time to do anything, it's hard to find a time where I can just go on Tumblr, and yet I don't want to not post so I feel obligated to try to schedule a time for it, and then that never works out because since it now feels like an obligation I procrastinate and do other things instead, and... ech. I think part of it is that I have so many projects I want to work on (mostly not related to this account) that even when I am working on some high-priority project I really do want to get done... I still feel unproductive because of all the projects I'm not working on. So I feel like I'm never getting anything done, which... makes it hard to justify to myself spending more time on Tumblr.

I do have things I want to do on this account. Besides just... random wizardposting, I do definitely want to continue @towerquest, which I haven't updated in way too long. I want to make more Wizardblr Magic the Gathering cards. I have some animations I've been wanting to make. I want to make a Neocities account where I can put all that stuff where it's more readily accessible without having to delve into the Tumblr archives. Heck, a long time ago I made a "Language Learning with Concoction Boy" post that I said was hopefully going to be the first in a series, and I did intend to make more posts in that series, but I never did; I still want to do that, too.

(And I actually have a few other wizardblr accounts too, but I've been neglecting those accounts even more than this one.)

Eh. Again, it's not that I don't want to post here. I do. I'm just in a position where it's... hard to find time for anything. I don't know. Hopefully my schedule will improve soon. Last night I did actually make myself get to bed at a more reasonable hour than I have in a long time, so if I can repeat that hopefully I can stop being so constantly tired as I have been. Hopefully things will turn around soon.

Anyway, like I said, this is getting long and rambly; I'm sorry. Anyway, though, I mostly just wanted to say... it's good to know someone cares. And again, I'm sorry I haven't been posting much lately. But hopefully that'll change soon.

Anyway, thanks for thinking of me.

Every man wants one thing and if they tell you otherwise then they're a liar.

To be told they're valued and special by the people in their life they care about.

[amazinglyegg]

Welp I also can’t sleep right now sooooooo, What do ya think companions would do if sole looked and acted tired but refused to go to bed? They tell them if they don’t go to bed they will hate themselves in the morning and sole responds by saying they will hate themselves reguardless???

I don't usually do requests for all the companions due to the fact I never finish them ever (this ask is... embarrassingly old) so here's a bunch I felt like doing at the time. Send another ask if you want other characters I didn't add for this prompt!!

(Some) Companions React: Self Deprecating Sole Who Refuses to Sleep

Cait:

Depending on her relationship with Sole, either shrugs and goes "fine, whatever", or pulls them up by their armpits and forces them to bed

She doesn't have the time to argue either way

If they're close she won't just let them stay up

She might bluff, though

"Fine then, I'm going to bed"

... but she comes back out half an hour

Not because she can't sleep without Sole, just because she was thirsty and went to get a drink of water and I mean at this point why not stay up with them for another hour or two, right?

Codsworth:

Very fussy

Constantly reminds them how important sleep is and how comfy their bed will be

Might even try guilting them a tiny bit...

"Oh, I made the bed just for you and you're not even going to sleep in it?"

He'll get overly upset when Sole tells him that they already hate themselves

He'll stay by their side whether they decide to go to sleep or not, bringing them drinks and paper and gently putting a blanket over their shoulders when they inevitably fall asleep at their desk

Danse:

Oh get ready for a Danse Ramble (tm)

"A good soldier needs a minimum of six hours of sleep to be at peak performance blah blah... A lack of sleep can lead to potentially fatal mistakes out on the field blah blah... *enter entire WebMD article on sleep deprivation here* blah blah... as your commanding officer it is my duty to make sure you stay healthy blah blah blah"

Is the embodiment of the meme "You shouldn't hate yourself" "Yeah but don't YOU hate YOURSELF?" "Yes but this is about you. Stay focused."

A little more gentle if they have a close relationship and/or it's post-blind betrayal

He's easier on them post BB because he's a bit looser on duties and doesn't want to argue with Sole, and if they're close it's because he can't sleep well without them

Just go to bed so the poor tin can man can sleep in peace, alright?

Deacon:

He understands them completely

I mean, look at him. Is that face the face of a guy who gets eight hours of sleep every night?

He partially wants Sole to sleep so they won't notice how little HE sleeps

"Oh come on, that work can wait, can't it?"

May pretend to snore obnoxiously to annoy them into sleeping

If they are close he might pull up a chair next to them and help them with the work

They might end up falling asleep on each other, though... just a warning

Desdemona:

Perfect example of The Stare

Sighs, crosses her arms, and stares at Sole until they eventually listen to her

"You can get that done tomorrow. Come on."

That being said, if she's overloaded with work as well she might actually sit down and do work with them

Pulls them up and gently walks them to bed once they get so tired they can barely work

Nick:

Very patient

"Come on, it's time for bed. Your work can wait for a few hours"

When Sole tells them that they already hate themselves he'll sigh and sit down next to them, going into one of his speeches

"You've done so much good already, nobody will blame you for taking a rest"

If they absolutely refuse to sleep he'll watch them from a distance until they fall asleep on their desk and then put his jacket over them like a blanket

Patient with them when they're tired the next day and will subtly give them time to rest

X6-88:

Tries to reason with them

"I know you have a strong sense of duty, but you'll help no one if you're falling asleep during your work tomorrow, god forbid if a fight breaks out"

"I've seen way too many people die unnecessary due to the impacts sleep deprivation has on the brain. I don't want that to happen to you"

Really, he can't force them to sleep. Even if he's not in the Institute anymore he just doesn't feel comfortable arguing with a human

If they do get to sleep he'll watch over them for the night to make sure they don't get up again and comfort them from any nightmares

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Feral Fatality

(Part 1)

So this has been in my works for a week now. You see, it was a typical day for me scrolling through Tumblr and visiting some....tags, and then a short drabble inspired me to write about a feral reader totally not because I was craving violence and murder no, which reached more than 4k words on the first draft so here we are! Shitty title, I know. The proofread work went over 7k, and it's not even finished yet. Once I'm done posting this and my main orc fic, I will get into the requests so please be patient!

Pairing: Jason Voorhees x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Brief blood and violence at the end of the first part

Contains: Swearing, mentions of neglect and abuse (not graphic)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

-

Screams slit through the twilight as the frigid autumn wind blew harshly through the trees of Camp Crystal Lake. The rustling of bushes and cracking of twigs echoed as foolish teenagers attempted to escape, running for their lives when they were the ones who dared step foot in the place, tarnishing it with their sins.

Jason Voorhees, the innocent kid who died several years ago; pushed to the lake by his bullies and left to drown for being different and unsightly— all because the counselors were busy with their fucking business—, returned as an undead killing machine right after his mother murdered them and died. His sole purpose: to protect the land and purge the people who had no right to be here, sentencing them to a horrendous death.

One by one, they struck the ground, lifeless, either chopped into pieces, beheaded, or stabbed countless times by his trusty machete.

Limbs...ripped off with his bare hands.

-

The muffled snapping of branches reached your ears as the vehicle's wheels ran over them, stirring you from your nap. You rubbed your chilled skin under your clothes as you looked out of the window, thumping your forehead on the glass when you leaned forward the moment you saw the scenery. Trees, both ancient and young, their leaves varying in hues of green, orange and red, filled your line of sight. It was still early in autumn, your favorite time of the year, not hot but not too cold either. You watched in awe as the warm-colored leaves cascaded down from the branches and down to the ground, some carried by the wind farther from their origin.

The view did its best to distract you from a couple in session a seat before yours. They always seem to do that all the time, regardless of place or occasion.

This was a week-long getaway after graduation, they said.

Nothing but a white lie.

An excuse for the girls to hook up with their campus crushes, a week of fucking and smoking drugs.

You, however, just got invited —forced— by your "friend" Eloiza, the self-proclaimed hottest girl in the entire school, typical captain of the cheerleading squad; blonde and curvy. Her words were much too sugar-coated that even a deaf person could tell she had ulterior motives.

She only planned to use you as a tool to raise her fame. A stepping stone for her own gain.

That wasn't the only reason though.

Everyone knew who you were, but only by your name. News and rumors alike spread like wildfire through gossipy mouths. Your deeds were known throughout campus.

(Y/N)(L/N), top academic competitor and multiple-award winner, a straight-A student for five years in succession. Some believed you were a genius, the rest called you insane.

You wouldn't call yourself a genius though, you did not possess the obsessive need to acquire eternal knowledge and discover the secrets of the universe as most of them do, to effortlessly solve every problem that comes their way.

If that were the case, then you wouldn't be here in the first place.

You only love learning and indulging in the beauty of Mother Nature, plus a handful of hyper-fixations.

Fine, a buttload of hyper-fixations. And such came in handy in various situations.

You were unrivaled, not one of your peers could come close to your level of wit. Many people wished to have a brain like yours, and just as many hated you for even having one, praised you just as much as slandered your name and judged you.

Despite your reputation, the poor school didn't broadcast it, at least every time. The staff probably got tired of repeating the same phrase over and over again. Which caused more than half of the whole campus to never believe you to be the one behind all of that, laughing at your face when you said your name.

"You? The (Y/N) (L/N)? Ha! As if I'd fall for that! Everyone knows how she looks. You're the absolute opposite!"

"You got to be kidding me."

"You're a joker, aren't you? Is this a prank? If so please stop it, don't pretend like you're her."

Yep, and it goes on and on and on. They were right, you didn't look like someone who would win contests or excel in class.

You constantly wore clothes that hid your form, silent unless spoken to or asked to answer, distant and reserved, you preferred the company of books and nature to the rowdiness and prying hands of humans. A sociopath they deemed you. Quite an extreme word to use when you simply wanted to enjoy the only things that made you happy in this living hell.

You only know a handful of people who approached you first-hand and praised you genuinely, even asking for an autograph, which really surprised you.

Yet, they would never understand you even if you explained, because you can't, words evade you when it comes down to voice out what you feel. Even if you can, no one would care. And even if they did? You doubt it was real. Everyone wants to use you, and they seem to believe you'd let them. You didn't trust anyone. The last time you did only left you sobbing on the dirt.

You wanted to be left alone.

To connect with nature and get as far away as possible from your parents. Parents who kept shouting profanities at each other, the main cause for your depression and anxiety levels to skyrocket, the shaking turning into trembling, 7 hours of sleep to barely a blink.

That's why you agreed to go in the first place.

You hated your household—despised it— a mess of broken shards of bottles and ceramics littered your kitchen floor more often than not. You didn't bother cleaning it up anymore, your mother would just waste away her money on more things to break and throw them at your joke of a father when they fought anyway.

Not only that, you thought...No, you believed if you worked hard to be the best and win countless competitions, your parents would give you recognition and reconcile for your sake, but no, no, no. They didn't care one bit about you or your medals, it was as if you were never even included in their lives at all. Even birthday celebrations ceased to exist in everyone's books after your 13th.

So you gave up.

Down into the void, your wishful thinking went, that they'll become better people over time, that the attention and love you deserve will be given one day. Instead, you wallowed yourself in your studies, besting everyone in everything academic. Oh, but you weren't athletic. Far from it. Damn, you were getting thin and sleep-deprived from being neglected, dark circles under your eyes every time you looked at your reflection. People hating your existence wasn't helping, some teachers even suspected you of cheating.

There's no way in hell you'd let yourself get dragged down to end up like them! You were of legal age now, a fresh graduate from high school, you doubt your parents even knew that since they didn't fucking show up on your graduation day. You were moving out of that shithole of a town. Anywhere is better than where they breathed and spat their poison.

And so here you are. Standing in this breath-taking and mysterious place. Camp Crystal Lake, it is named, secluded, barely touched by modernization as it is hidden between mountains and trees as far as the eye could see. Not to mention its namesake, the lake, you imagined it would mirror the sky, be it day or night. You loved it, you adored the fresh, breathable air that went through you the moment you stepped out of the van.

You also knew about him.

Resolved to never go back to that goddamned house, you took everything you had and needed; the special little trinkets you've collected through the years shoved into a box, the few clothes you had, art materials, and your precious books carefully packed inside a big travel bag, along with your stocked up canned goods, convenience food, snacks, and toiletries.

And other, important things.

You hauled your baggage out of the van and got off, immediately moving to the side and away from everyone.

You got used to people ignoring you that you didn't care anymore.

Why waste your time with them when you can have all of it to yourself?

Eloiza led the group into the larger cabins, the others went straight into the lake for a swim. You even notice some teens disappear into the trees, most likely for a quickie.

In return, you stayed out of their way, fully satisfied being invisible and with your own company as you trudged to a cabin, the one you caught a glimpse of earlier in the van. It was a long way's separated from the rest, closest to the forest and hidden behind a few trees.

You were panting when you finally stopped in front of it, clearly not used to walking long distances and carrying stuff near as heavy as your weight.

Upon closer inspection, you found yourself gaping at its appearance. The wooden walls lost their color as they aged, white and brown mushrooms grew on the ground along with green moss sticking to the beams, and a few vines crawling their way up and on the roof. Despite all of that, the cabin looked sturdy still.

There's this "one with nature" vibe that drew you to it, like a string pulling you closer and inviting you. Ominous most would say, but you almost cried when the rich scent of earth and oxygen filled your lungs as you took one big inhale, sighing in content for once. It was a lot smaller compared to the others, but you didn't care. As long as you were left alone with your stuff you were a-okay.

Perfect.

You turned the knob and peeked inside, letting out a small gasp and opening the door wider to see the whole thing.

Old as it is, it was proper and neat, regardless of the tiny cobwebs on the upper corners. A small, square dining table sat in the middle of the first part of the place, two wooden stools placed underneath. There were cupboards on the wall and a simple sink with an empty space to the side. You went to the next room, doorless and separated with but a wall of thick plywood. It had a single bed in the corner, off-white cotton sheets sitting atop, not a wrinkle in sight. No pillow though. There's a decent-sized closet along with a small table on one side of the bed. One of the windows had a hole in the middle, a ray of sunlight streaming in through the cracks. It was too big for the size of a gunshot, so maybe a rock.

A bit hesitant, your fingers traced the wood, feeling the inconsistent texture. When you went through the back door, your smile reached your ears when trunks of trees and bushes greeted you...

Wait, is that what you think it is?

Stepping closer to the treeline, your jaw dropped when you spotted a thicket of fruit-bearing plants past them, gathered in a tiny clearing.

Blueberries.

Purple little cuties poked out of the green shrubs, sporting a vibrant hue that caught your eye. The sun shone overhead and providing the energy they needed. Blueberries managed to grow in the area despite the trees fencing them.

Tempted and suspicious, you crouched down, inspecting the shrub if it really was a blueberry plant and not a deadly doppelganger. Once you were sure it was, (it would be hilarious if you simply died from nighshade poisoning), you plucked one and brought it to your mouth. It was sweeter than you expected, with a slightly bitter aftertaste. You hummed in delight, wiping the juice with your thumb when it dribbled out, staining your finger and lips.

You didn't want to anger anybody. Hell, coming here was already trespassing, so you didn't push your luck and left it alone, hoping they'd forgive you for picking one. They surely didn't look wild with the way they lined up.

You scanned the rest of the area, eventually going back inside to unpack after your little evaluation.

-

The sun was a hand's away from setting when you finished. Pride swelled in your chest at the work you did, your things stocked and organized with care inside the cabinets and drawers. You won't have to worry about your food for now as cupboards were filled to the brim with them. You also had a decent amount of money left from your savings account that your parents weren't aware of. Prize money, allowance, and the salary you got from doing online jobs all went into it. The camp was a few miles off the road, and a couple more to the nearest gas station with a convenience store. Very far yes, but it's better than living with the people who made you do this in the first place.

You just hoped you wouldn't die walking.

Everything was worth it, anyways. You were free now, at least that's what you think.

You trudged to the bed, eyeing the cushions, wary and a little scared to touch the sheets that appeared to be cleaned just recently, you didn't even lay a finger on them ever since you got inside. Oh, but your tired muscles were screaming to just flump down and relax.

So you did.

You dumped yourself face first and inhaled. It wasn't smelly nor fragrant, just the simple freshness on the cotton fabric. You felt beat but ain't sleepy, yet, so you reached to the drawer beside the bed and pulled out a book to pass the time as you waited for the sun to go down and give way for the moon. Its spine and pages had creases, worn out and yellow-stained from age and use. It was a horror-mystery novel told through a first-person narrative, a story of a middle-aged detective and her Maine coon in their attempts to solve a murder case of a young European lady named Cassandra Chase.

You dozed off in the middle of chapter 21, the part where Dinnie, the cat, discovers a valuable clue to the crime, a rotten limb in the dried basement well.

—

—

Jason settled down on the stairs of his porch; shoulders relaxed and hunched as he leisurely sharpened his machete with a small whetstone. Lines of sunlight kissed him through the leaves of trees, the birds in the area chirped on their perches, and the grass swayed, gentle, as a cool wind passed by.

His day be so fine. No troublemakers to deal wi—

The alarm rang, announcing unwelcomed arrival. As if a switch flipped inside, he's already on his feet, making his way swiftly to their location.

A new batch of wretched youngsters, another day ruined. Hunting them down makes his blood thrum in his veins, yes, but they soured his mood, just when he was at peace. He's dead set on slaughtering them in the most gruesome ways possible, only then he could go back and enjoy the serenity the nature around him brings.

He surveyed the area, camouflaging with the wilderness, silent as he watched and counted the soon-to-be corpses, his mother's voice at the back of his mind, guiding him.

They decided to go either to the main cabins, or the lake...even into the trees.

All but one.

Jason already planned to cut down the couple later as they lose themselves in the forest, doing nasty, dirty things to his camp. The killer shifted his attention to you, curious as to why you didn't join the lot. Instead, you walked back down the road. He followed and saw you approach the small cabin, separated from the rest, your eyes widened...

Adoration?

You were quiet— except for the little gasps of awe you let out in between pants—as you looked around and over the place. The ones you came with were rowdy and destructive, a complete opposite. He hid as he observed you from afar, moving around to adjust his vision on you. You smiled every time you looked to the trees, he noticed.

Why were you smiling like that? Why did you pick this cabin? Were you planning on defiling it?

The last question in his mind made his blood boil. He'll kill you first if that was the case. That cabin you chose was special, it was where he and his mother used to stay. He occasionally visits that one to keep it clean and free of dust. If you even think of—

Jason, sweetie...look closer. She does not have such intentions.

His mother's words rang in his head. Even from where he stood, he could see what you did inside. You looked a little hesitant, touching and drawing back your hand before letting your fingers feel the wood as if it was something delicate. Despite the initial...shyness? You proceeded to make it your home, somewhat, dropping the large duffel bags you carried on your front and back, and a similarly large roller case on your left. It was as if you planned to stay for a long time.

Jason hears you take a long breath and sigh as you went out the backdoor. You grinned wider when you saw the nature around you. You stepped forward, straight in his direction...

For a moment he thought you saw him, seeing your jaw drop. You moved closer, and he just froze there, until you crouched down.

Oh, his plants.

He watched you as you gently picked a fruit, your gaze...soft. You brought it to your mouth, some of the juice spilling on the side and you wiped it with your thumb.

Cute.

You went back inside and continued to unpack your things, carefully maneuvering around the cabin.

Maybe he'll spare you if you continue to be good. You didn't do anything dirty, yet. It's only a matter of time before the camp is shrouded in darkness and his hunt will begin.

Let's see what you'll do before that happens.

-

Jason tracked down the three that went into the forest. He knew the place like the back of his hand, and it was easier to pinpoint them as he heard moans.

What he saw was utmost disgusting, two girls pleasuring a male with their mouths in broad daylight.

Kill them, my boy! Such foul beings need to die! Kill them, kill!

He circled them, steps soundless. Jason gripped his machete and brought it down the guy's neck, embedding the weapon into the bark, the head rolled down, oozing with blood, and fell against the women, drenching them in red. Not a single cry left from their mouths as he sliced both with one swing, blood pouring out of their throats and staining the ground. Jason dragged their bodies and tossed them into a pit he dug beforehand, making quick work in burying them.

A swift end. Now he waits.

[writeblrfantasy]

cygnus & harlan in every eingard series book

i was falling back in love with tes today and i had the idea to slap this together. i'm gonna do this with the other ships, it was lovely to revisit the boys i love so dearly :)

fyi only the first 4 books have been fully completed, i've planned and written snippets of the last 3 but haven't actually written anything serious for them since last summer

“I’ll be just a minute,” Cygnus said, attempting to bind his hair with one hand and pull on his cloak with the other. His hands were shaking, and after a minute of struggling he gave up entirely on the ribbon.

Harlan’s eyes followed the movement. “Allow me.” He stepped behind Cygnus, closer than necessary, and took the ribbon from Cygnus’ fingers. Cygnus shivered as their hands brushed. The heat Harlan was radiating right behind his back was torture.

Cygnus gathered his hair in his fingers and held it out, waiting to feel the ribbon wrap around it. But Harlan gently replaced Cygnus’ fingers with his own, leaving Cygnus stunned and breathless. Iron self-control was the only thing that kept him from leaning into Harlan as he swiftly tied the ribbon into a neat bow. Cygnus swore his hand lingered before pulling away. He was probably making this out to be much more intimate than it actually was, but did he imagine the thick air in the room as well?

***

“Thank you, darling,” Cygnus said, and craned his neck up to kiss him. Harlan smiled and adjusted his black spectacles, as he did constantly while he got used to them. They’d gone from spectacles he only used when stressed and sleep deprived to permanent, as ordered by the healer. Harlan was beyond frustrated about it, but Cygnus had tried consoling him by telling him they were the most attractive thing in the world. Harlan would always retort that they were the world’s greatest annoyance, but Amina knew Cygnus’ comments made him feel a little better.

***

“Hey,” Cygnus whispered, cutting off his train of thought, which was probably for the better. He placed Harlan’s hand on his chest. “Touch me. Feel me. I’m here, aren’t I? I’m alive. I’m okay.” Cygnus looked worse for wear, tired and weathered, but when he smiled, his eyes shone. Harlan’s heart pulsed so strongly he thought it would burst.

“I love you,” Harlan managed, because he didn’t know what else to say, and he needed to say it. In case this happened again. In case next time he wouldn’t get another chance. “Never leave me again.”

“Never, darling.”

***

“Harlan sounds like a god among men, the way you talk about him,” he comments over the rim of his coffee mug.

Cygnus smiles and sighs, picturing the hard, stern eyes of Cora and the off putting scent of Heath, the heat of Elio and even the smile of Nym. But that smile had been distant and strange. Otherworldly.

It’s all too easy, then, to picture the way Harlan’s eyes light up when he casts a spell, the way he shakes his head and fights off a smile when Cygnus has done something childish to warrant it. How he walks through the markets and befriends the merchants and their families to make them feel seen and appreciated by the throne, and just because he likes them. His unwavering patience, his unwavering determination to be fair in his job. The taste of his kisses. The security of his arms at night. His dark, mysterious beauty that intrigued Cygnus years ago.

“He’s better,” Cygnus says, not caring if he sounds like a fool.

***

Harlan insists on helping Cygnus bathe after Easthaven. Cygnus is in too much pain and too willing for a welcome and needed Harlan to take care of him to argue. He gives himself easily into Harlan’s waiting hands. All he has to do is move his limbs enough to undress and lie in the basin. They don’t speak.

Harlan is still furious with himself and with everyone. it shows in his sharp, jerky movements, the symbols of tight control, how tightly he squeezes the cloths to wring them out, as if he’s imagining placing his hands around not-Anson’s throat, his distant, thoughtful eyes, the hard press of his lips together. Nothing Cygnus can say will make him realize it wasn’t his fault, so he just lets Harlan fuss. Cygnus hopes he’ll tire himself out and they’ll fall into bed equally exhausted, one of them pained, tonight.

***

Evan knows she and Amina are the victims here, but that doesn’t mean the rest of them aren’t suffering in silence, too. In the midst of caring for Amina, in the few waking and sleeping moments when her thoughts aren’t filled with Amina’s too still face, Evan sees the exhaustion on Cygnus’. That’s nothing new, but it’s gotten better over the years. It hasn’t been as it is now since the days before Esther took him into her own hands, onto the training ground. Evan is again amazed by her brother, his ability to provide her so much support while giving it all to Cygnus at the same time. Evan sees them cuddled together under the same cloak by the fire night after night, grieving in silence like her.

At least they have each other at all. This ordeal has taught Evan to be thankful for that.

***

The Cael stares them down, trapping them between the certain death of the cliff behind them and certain death in a Caelish prisoner camp. Cygnus never takes his hand off Harlan’s chest like that alone will give him the support he needs. It does.

He turns his back on the Cael to say with a grin, “If we’re going down, we might as well go down together.”

Confusion flashes across Harlan’s eyes for the barest second before realization dawns.

Cygnus pushes them both over the edge.

They can’t die apart, but they can die together, on their own terms.

He kisses Harlan as they fall.

tes taglist (lmk to be added/removed) @magic-is-something-we-create @myhusbandsasemni @sondials @mischiefiswritten @peonypearls-muddled-musings