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sophiamcdougall · 2 years ago

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I am never going to complain about Greek Duolingo again

I mean, I am. But still.

So, as some of you know, my family has been coming to this tiny Greek seaside village for several years. Just over a week ago I came out here with my mum, under the impression that early September, after the height of the summer heat, would be a good time to have a holiday. ANYWAY Storm Daniel had other ideas about that. Locally things are improving (I'm actually really pissed off about the disaster-porn tone of most English-language media coverage, but that's another post). The power is back on, there's running water most of the time, and though the latter is not drinkable, a truck from the government came and handled out free bottled water yesterday. But we are currently kind of stuck. Can't do tourist things. Can't go home. There aren't any local flights out until Saturday and the road to Thessaloniki is still closed.

So this evening, feeling kind of aimless and depressed, I go down to the nearest beach with a couple of binbags and start cleaning up in an effort to at least do something positive. I always try to do this at least once out here and obviously, after the storm, there's a lot more plastic and rubbish than usual.

At some point I find this large, round bit of metal - some kind of machinery part, I think -- that's too big for the bag, so I take it to the bins on its own, leaving the rubbish bag on the beach. And when I come back for it, something among the stones beside it moves.

Specifically, it pulls its head sharply inside its shell

So, meanwhile I've been trying to learn some Greek with the help of Duolingo.

I currently have a 33-day streak and... I have questions. Shouldn't I be able to use the past or future tenses by now? Shouldn't I be able to say "x is like y"? I can't do those things. But one thing I absolutely can say all day long is έχω μια χελώνα : I have a turtle.

This is far from the limit of Duolingo Greek's turtle-related content. "An obsession with turtles" is my mother's characterisation. I can inform you that the turtle is not a bird, and, improbably, that the turtle is drinking milk. I can introduce you to a turtle in company with a horse and an elephant. As far as Duolingo is concerned, it really is turtles all the way down.

Now this, you may be able to see, is not a turtle. It has claws rather than flippers. It is a tortoise. I know there are wild tortoises in Greece: my aunt once rescued a pair of them shagging in the middle of the road -- but that was up in the mountains. I've even seen one myself, but it was also on a road and very dead.

I am 95% certain they don't belong on beaches. There's nothing for it to eat, except, unfortunately, a lot of plastic. Even if it gets off the beach it will immediately find itself on a road where it could get hit by a car. I'm pretty sure it must have been washed down by the floodwater and has been just sitting there, dazed, ever since.

Now obviously the first thing I want to do on encountering this unusual animal is to go and tell my mummy, so I do. The tortoise immediately brightens her day. She agrees that the tortoise is not happy on the beach and needs to be taken somewhere safe. it gets surprisingly wriggly when picked up so we put it in a carrier bag with some grapes and cucumber and go looking for somewhere to rehome it.

We find a path leading up between the houses towards a likely-looking field, but before we get very far a dog in a yard goes berserk and a man's head pops over a fence and demands to know what we're doing. He does this in English, as evidently we're just that obviously tourists.

"I found a tortoise on the beach!" I explain. "We want to find somewhere to put it."

"A what," he asks.

"It's like a, you know," I begin and then to my astonishment I find myself saying... "μια χελώνα"

"Oh! A turtle!" he says.

"But from the land. δεν είναι χελώνα", [it is not a turtle,] I say, as I am worried he will tell me to put it back near the sea where I found it. As it turns out it actually IS a χελώνα, Greek does not distinguish between turtles and tortoises, but I don't know that; I can't even name the days of the week or identify any colours other than pink yet, give me a break.

The man's entire demeanour changes and thaws. He does not worry about my turtle-that-is-not-a-turtle conundrum. He knows where οι χελώνες come from and where η χελώνα μας belongs. He leads us through a gate into a courtyard area.

"[somethingsomething] μια χελώνα," he explains to the assembled onlookers, of whom there are, suddenly, a surprising number.

"ΜΙΑ ΧΕΛΩΝΑ!!!" crows the throng of delighted small children, who are, suddenly, everywhere.

"μια χελώνα!" I agree, accepting that at least for current purposes, that is what it is.

"Μπορούμε να δούμε τη χελώνα σας; [can we see your turtle?]" asks an adorable little girl, shyly, and I understand??

The children fucking love looking at the χελώνα and showing it to them is kind of magical?

I finally put the tortoise down on the grass of this wild area off to the side of the courtyard, and marvel aloud that it is weird that I barely know any Greek except how to say μια χελώνα.

"I think she will soon run off," a kind lady called Aspasia assures me, seeing I remain slightly anxious about its fate. "I don't know why I'm saying 'she'. I suppose because χελώνα is feminine in Greek."

"Yes! I know that!" I exclaim, thrilled.

"Well done!" she says. And also she asks if we are OK for drinking water after the storm and if we need any help with anything and is just generally incredibly lovely and now we know more of the neighbours!

So "μια χελώνα" has just become, by a long way, my most-used and most understood and all-around most conversationally successful phrase in Greek. So I guess I have to admit I was wrong to doubt Duolingo's wisdom: it is correct to be obsessed with turtles. And I concede that prior to learning how to count to ten or to distinguish right from left, the simple ability to yell the word TURTLE over and over again is, it turns out, a crucial element of the responsible traveller's social skills.

(I am pretty fluent in Italian and turtles haven't come up in conversation even once?)

#story time

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vhaos-chaotic-writing · 4 months ago

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since you said you didn't mind. it's kind of detailed so feel free to change things and if it doesn't work platonically feel free to write it romantically!

can i request tf1 orion/optimus and d-16/megatron both being like a platonic yandere for reader who works with them? (not them being together necessarily! i saw in your pinned that you don't ship megop, i was thinking it being more along the lines of the jettwins request you did?) i can see them, back when they were orion pax and d-16, being perfectly fine with sharing especially since their interest is platonic, like they're already best friends the two of them, but then everything happens and suddenly they're bitter enemies and the problem is kind of self-evident to them both. hope this is alright, i've never requested before but i really love your stuff!

Wowzers!! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ 1st platonic request!! And thank you so much for respecting my limit about Megop. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Also, I'm so sorry for answering this sooo late, life has been kicking me in the aft latelyyy.

(TFO) Yandere!Orion Pax/Optimus & Yandere!D-16/Megatron for Cybertronian!Reader (Platonic)

WARNINGS: Yandere behaviour, platonic relationships, kind off open ending. Reader is cybertronian and gender neutral. Use of (Y/N).

You met both Orion Pax and D-16 a few cycles after you were assigned to be part of the same sector they were in, a couple of days after they started to become friends.

Both were quick to take a liking of you and become quite protective the 1st time they saw Darkwing scold you. The guard (thankfully) didn't go that harsh on you on that scolding, but didn't hold back at saying his typical 'dumb miners' insults.

As Darkwing left, Orion and D-16 were quick to approach you, and while Orion said his colorful thoughts about Darkwing, making you laugh a ittle and D-16 asked about your well being, appreciating his concern, that's when your friendship between those two bots was born.

The 1st sign of their yandere tendencies was the fact that they changed (without your consent) your shift schedules, and now you are suddenly sharing shifts as them! The day it happened you had been forced to do double shift without a previous warning and while you were dead aft tired, Orion and Dee were there to make your day bright (of course, you never found out it was them that changed your shift)

Orion Pax beings as a worshipping and obsessive yandere, a little bit passive on the last trait but you were always on his thoughts. On the other servo, D-16 begins as an overprotective yandere, always keeping his optics on you and making sure you are well, safe and sound, to the point it's kind of tiring.

But if you put aside the many times it seemed both mechs had you trapped inside of your little bubble and how they were kind of ready to throw servos at Darkwing (even knowing they would lose) - you wouldn't change your boys over anything in the whole universe.

Orion loved to spoil you, giving you an extra energon cube (ignoring your reasoning on why he shouldn't do it) and was a master at making you laugh.

D-16 was just so sweet, always knowing what to say to make your mood improve and you loved to hear him ramble about his admiration towards Megatronus.

They were like your guard dogs - didn't allow any other bot to approach you if they were deemed not good enough or if they felt they had ill intentions.

And weren't you just the best? A good listener, always eager to speak with them and pass time too, making sure they were also okay and if they got hurt in the job (or Orion got his aft kicked by Darkwing), you were all over them, scolding them and just begging quietly to be more careful next time.

You made Orion Pax's need to find a way to help his people a stronger objective in life: he wanted to see you away from the mines, from the danger, to see you thrive and shine, become whatever you wanted and be happy. Be free.

You made D-16 keep working harder - if he got that promotion, he could get better life conditions and he would get you to live with him! He would take Orion too, of course, he wouldn't leave his best friend behind, but he wanted you away from working and risking your life, giving you the deserved time to take a break and be safe. Be yourself.

... Of course, Orion Pax had to get that bright idea of joining the Iacon 5000. Without telling you, he told his plan to D-16, and of course the latter mech was quick to turn down the idea.

"Dee, just think about it! We'll prove us, miners, are something else and gain respect! We'll make our (Y/N) proud and maybe get a chance at give them a better life!"

Ah, the idea made D-16's spark skip a beat. How he wished for that to be that easy.

... and, of course, they got their afts kicked (Primus, you must have seen everything!), thrown to the medical bay and then down to sub-level 50.

On the whole journey, Orion was moved by going back home to rescue you and the others, to show the truth and bring freedom. To break you free from the imposed, abusive life-style you were forcefully given, just like him and Dee.

D-16, on the other hand, was slowly letting his wrath eat him away - all these years, his whole life - YOUR whole life - got lied in the face, casted aside, hurt and endangered. He had to avenge you, he had to bring honor to your name and make Sentinel suffer just as you had suffered, and worse.

When Orion Pax saw how D-16 was changing for the worst, something was clear in his processor. He had to get you away from Dee if he didn't step back from his destructive thoughts.

When D-16 saw how Orion Pax was starting to doubt his way of thinking, something was clear in his processor. Orion would never understand, he was doing this for you, he was going to save you and no one else.

When Orion arrived back to Iacon and went to the miners, the very first thing he did was to hug you. "I mourned you!" You cried as Orion snuggled his helm against yours.

"Don't worry, (Y/N). I'm here now."

You fought along side him, and Orion the whole time tried to keep an optic on you, but when he had to deal with D-16, it was when things went south.

"He deserves to suffer!" D-16 cried in rage. "He has to suffer for everything he did to us! For everything he did to (Y/N)!"

"This is not how things must go, Dee!" Orion said, trying to stop him from killing Sentinel.

And just as you had arrived with Elita and Bee, you witnessed how D-16 managed to break free from Orion, prepared to shoot his canon at the false Prime and Orion got in the way. You heard D-16's pain as he held Orion from falling into the Well of the Allspark... and you saw him let go of the other. You wailed in horror and if it hadn't been for Elita and Bee, you would have thrown yourself to try and get Orion, going directly to your own death, too.

You saw D-16 become Megatron, killing with such brutality the false prime. You saw how the known bots cheered for him and chimed his new designation.

"... (Y/N), we are finally getting our revenge. We are finally free." He whispered, looking at you with those burning red optics of his. And as he ordered his followers to destroy everything, he was about going to go after you to take you away from everything, but both Elita and Bee got in the way.

And then Orion - no... Optimus Prime was back. And the moment he saw the fear and hope in your optics, he didn't hesitate to fight Megatron. And while they fought... something in you broke.

What happened to the D-16 you knew? What happened to the Orion Pax you knew? Your best friends, the mechs you knew you could trust and hope to live your life by their side, to get their blessing on whatever bot decided to be your conjux endura and keep passing many days and nights living your little own adventures and working hard together or gaining a better life... what happened to them?

Despair was slowly eating you from the inside.

Orion Pax died out of your reach and D-16 died somewhere you would never see him. And there were two unknown mechs that had their faces, voices and shape. Your best friends wouldn't fight each other, aiming to destroy the other, hurting each other as if two enemies from many centuries. Your best friends... what happened to them?

Deep inside of your sorrowful spark, you knew something. Whoever won, whoever managed to make the other stand back, would define your future.

The weight of Orion's dead spark and D-16's faded spark felt heavy in your chestplate as you saw Optimus Prime and Megatron fight. in their optics shining brightly their sole objective: To win and save you.

I hope you liked it! NGL rn I'm suffering a burnout from my workplace, I am suffering fatigue, but writing this brought my mood up! I hope I did it okay. (❁´◡`❁) Vhaos out!

#transformers #transformers x reader #yandere x reader #yandere transformers #transformers one x reader #yandere optimus prime #yandere megatron #optimus prime x reader #megatron x reader #d 16 x reader #orion pax x reader #tfo yandere #yandere transformers one #yandere transformers x reader

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fangsandfeels · 2 years ago

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The vagueness of Astarion sleeping mechanics drives me mad sometimes

So, the game says that elves don't sleep - to the point where it's ironically stated that the only way for them to experience sleeping is to either drink a potion of Angelic Slumber or "get hit really hard with a chair".

Instead, they enter a semi-aware meditative state (Revery) where they experience memories from their past lives (usually most positive and emotional parts). Or they just sorting through their current memories.

Now, we've seen Astarion meditating if his way of lying on a bedroll is anything to go by. He is also immune to sleeping spells. We could also see him sleeping (in a Durge run). I know that devs technically recycle the same sleeping pose for all romanced companions, but still. Also, Astarion has nightmares, which is not typical for elves.

Of course, when I was going through the lore, I scratched the surface, but from what I understood, Revery is supposed to be a controlled state, and nightmares aren't exactly controlled.

But, I've found a very interesting bit that (so far) is still considered part of the official canon:

Elves can sleep and dream just like any human, but almost all surface elves avoid doing so. Dreams, as humans know them, are strange and confusing to elves. Unlike the actual memories of one’s primal soul, present life, or past lives, dreams are uncontrolled products of the subconscious, and perhaps the subconscious minds of those past lives or primal souls as well. An elf who dreams must always wonder whose mind these thoughts first arose from, and why. Priests of Sehanine Moonbow are an exception: they sleep and dream to receive signs from their god, and elves consult such priests to interpret their own dreams."

From: Mordenkainrn's Tome Of Foes, Chapter 2: Elves

And not only does this little bit explain a lot, but it also provides some food for your fic writing purposes.

Now, I'm entering the headcanon territory, so be warned.

Astarion's access to Revery got horribly fucked up after he had been Turned. Not only does he no longer have access to his previous lives since he is technically dead and plucked from the cycle, but he also can't even have his happy or good memories before he became a spawn. Even if they are still there, somewhere in the memory palace, getting to them requires going through the catalog of traumatic and painful memories he acquired after being enslaved by Cazador. It's like running through a burning house trying to rescue your family photo - and the hall gets longer each time. So, entering a trance means confronting the worst memories of his life over and over because there is nothing else there.

Due to this Astarion may resort to sleeping, which elves don't usually do. Elves don't like dreams because dreams are subconscious, and they can't be controlled, which scares them. For Astarion, however, it means there is a chance of him subconsciously dreaming of something nice or just being blissfully empty. However, it doesn't safeguard him from nightmares which (because they are the product of his unconsciousness) get even more twisted than simple memories.

Additionally, there can be a possibility that after becoming a spawn he got cut off from meditation and trances completely, relying on sleeping only: at least, the cut spawn epilogue by Withers mentions how while Astarion needs to sleep again, he doesn't sleep alone. While we don't know what that means exactly (and whether it will ever be implemented in the game), I assume that the tadpole gave him the ability to meditate back, but it was a small improvement because his memory headspace no longer holds happy memories capable of offering solace or refuge.

So, my personal headcanon is that he switches between meditating and sleeping depending on how aware he needs to be, and whatever option feels less torturous at the moment.

For instance, in his Origin run, when he remembers the moment of Cazador carving scars into him, he is in a trance. Which is why the memory is so horribly vivid, as if he is reliving it anew.

However, when he has a nightmare where Cazador finds him, he is sleeping and experiencing a memory affected by his subconsciousness. Which is why he jolts himself awake and desperate to know the limits of his freedom.

So, yes, the man literally can't catch a break.

On a happier note (and for your hurt/comfort fanfiction purposes), once Astarion starts traveling with Tav and the group, his memory bank gets updated with memories that are actually fun and nice, so he has something to linger upon when he is meditating. Sleeping gradually becomes a bit more pleasant experience because his subconsciousness got more material to work with, so the quality of his non-controlled dreams has to gradually improve.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #astarion #astarion brainrot #dnd elves are strange #feel free to correct me if i goofed up #because it's quite likely i goofed up

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mysteryshoptls · 5 months ago

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SSR Rook Hunt - Room Relaxation Vignette

"Happy Birthday"

[Exterior Hallway 2F]

[birds tweet in distance]

Rook: Oh my, that little one over there… Mhhm, welcome back. I see you've decided to spend your winter here this year.

Cater: Hey-o, Rook-kun. Whatcha doin', staring off into the distance like that?

Rook: Oh hi, Cater-kun. It seems like the little bird that left its nest here on campus in the spring has returned. I'm just glad it's doing well.

Cater: A little bird…? Wait, are you talking about that bird waaaay off in the distance? It just looks like a normal bird, doesn't necessarily mean it's the same bird you saw before, does it?

Rook: Not at all, it's definitely the same bird. Each one has a completely different look from each other, so I'm sure it's the same one.

Cater: U-Uh huh… I think it's a little too difficult for me to see.

Cater: Ah, right! I'm changing the subject a little bit, but it's your birthday tomorrow, right?

Rook: Oh là là! You remembered my birthday? I'm floored!

Cater: Obvi! You think your good pal Cay-kun'd ever forget a batchmate's birthday?

Cater: Now, inquiring minds want to know, Mr. Birthday Boy Rook-san! How do you plan on spending your birthday?

Rook: Mhhm, let me think…

Rook: I think I would be content just spending it like any old day, surrounded by good friends!

Cater: Ehhh, come on～ And just when I thought this was my chance to learn a little more about your life that you keep close to your chest…

Rook: You wish to know more about me? Oh my, if you stare any harder, Monsieur Magicam, I'll simply combust on the spot.

Cater: I didn't think I was staring that hard… But I get it, you don't want people prying into your business ♪

Cater: Then, how 'bout I extend an olive branch… Wanna take a pic to celebrate your Birthday Eve?

Rook: Oui, I'd be honored!

[snap!]

Cater: Oh, Rook-kun, your smile's dazzling! Ah, I just thought of something good. I'll send you the photo later ♪

Rook: I look forward to it. See you, Cater-kun!

[Pomefiore Dorm – Hallway]

Rook: ―Confirmation of this week's schedule of events for each grade… Done.

Rook: Ballroom usage requests, confirmation of head counts for each room, equipment returns… Done.

Rook: Oh, look at the time. It just flew by as I was finishing up my Vice Housewarden tasks. The showers should be free by now, no?

[Pomefiore Dorm – Rook's Room]

Rook: Perhaps it was thanks to that hair mask a fellow dormmate recommended me, but my hair feels silkier than usual today.

Rook: It's good to give myself a little special treat before a special day, after all.

[Pomefiore Dorm – Rook's Room]

Rook: ―I've finished my skincare, body care, and haircare routine.

Rook: I'm completely ready to listen to Roi de Neige's melodious voice! His radio program should be starting soon―

Rook: Oh? It looks like I still have a little over 10 minutes left. I must have been a tad too hasty in my eagerness.

Rook: I suppose I could fill out that "Survey on Quality of Life Improvements for the Student Body" in the time I have left.

「Survey on Quality of Life Improvements for the Student Body」

Rook: Improvements, hm. If I were asked any time before this, I'm sure I would have had much to say on the school regulation that has freshmen and sophomores sharing a room.

Rook: Sharing a room with fellow classmates may have its moments, but nothing is better than my personal time alone.

Rook: I still vividly remember the joy I felt when I became a junior and was assigned my own room. This is what I call paradise!

Rook: Not only am I able to protect my privacy, but this is a perfect place for me to surround myself with beauty and love. I have no complaints!

Rook: If I were to come up with one thing to put down… I would like a safe. I'd want something sturdy with a complex lock that cannot be opened easily.

Rook: If I were to have one, then I could keep safe my trove of journals, my precious photos, and even that one thing I got my hands on that one time… Heheh.

Rook: …Oh, whoops. While I was drifting off imagining all the things I could place in a safe, I seem to have completely filled in the field.

Rook: I'm sitting here in a paradise I built for myself, and I still had so many desires to write down… Ah, me, oh, my! How selfish could I possibly be?

Rook: Thinking back on it, I've not had many memories of staying in the same place for years like this.

Rook: Even after three years here, I find that every single day brings new thrills that keep me just as excited as the first day.

Rook: …Well now, with that, the survey is done. ～fin～ And perfect timing, too.

Rook: It's finally time for Roi du Neige's special radio program… I can't wait! I've been counting down the days ever since the day it was announced.

Rook: BRAVISSIMO!! THAT WAS A PURELY BLISSFUL EXPERIENCE…!

Rook: His dynamic vocals sparkled like an étoile in the sky… It was completely different from his usual sweet manner!

Rook: I could feel my heart completely taken in by the way he beautifully weaved from topic to topic that brought to my mind a silky-smooth kaleidoscope.

Rook: What could his "new work" be that they mentioned on the program…? Aah, I cannot wait for more information to be released…!

Rook: When it comes to updates such as this, there's a higher degree of vivacity in receiving it through a live broadcast rather than an article or a recording!

Rook: I wonder which store he got that pie he said he ate "a little too much of" from…?

Rook: If I'm not mistaken, there are quite a few well-known pâtisserie near that recording studio.

Rook: If it's a new place… I believe the actor who will be co-starring with him in his upcoming drama series is known for his serious sweet tooth.

Rook: Perhaps if I look into the shows they've appeared in or check their online posts, I might be able to figure out a hint as to which place it is. I'll check later.

Rook: I must listen to the program once more and record my heartfelt thoughts into a letter… No, wait! I must first jot down every single emotion it made me feel into my diary!

Rook: …This should be all of my thoughts on the radio program. Every single word I had for it meant everything to me that I felt as though it almost became a word-for-word transcript.

Rook: Now, what else stirred my heart today…? Ah, yes, Cater-kun remembering my birthday was lovely.

Rook: Ahh, yes. I should also write down the joy I felt in being reunited with that little bird once more.

Rook: Today was a wonderful day. I wonder what beautiful things I will encounter tomorrow.

[Pomefiore Dorm - Rook's Room]

[door opens]

[door shuts]

Rook: ―Someone's door just opened… Ah, right, there's early morning practice for the track club today.

Rook: As soon as I hear some kind of noise, I snap awake. It may still be early, but I think I'll start getting ready for the day!

Rook: First, I'll take off my sheets and pillowcase… And leave it in a basket in the hall.

Rook: They'll even return it here front of my door after its been washed, so thankfully I can make my bed myself.

Rook: Ordinarily, the laundry ghosts would do everything for me, but… I just can't feel comfortable having anyone enter my room.

Rook: I appreciate them for listening to my vehement non. Now that I've finished with that, I should go wash my face.

Rook: The quiet atmosphere of the washroom in the early mornings always puts me in a refreshing mood. Now then, I think I'll use this lotion today.

Rook: Before, I knew nothing of skincare, let alone makeup. But with my transfer into this dorm, I was reborn anew!

Rook: I may still be a novice in this regard… But as a student of Pomefiore, I cannot allow myself to shirk on the proper regard for skin care.

Rook: For example, when it comes to UV protection, I've learned that it's not enough to simply apply sunscreen, but I must moisturize myself beforehand.

Rook: I had no idea there were so many types of cosmetics. Aaah, this world is brimming with such spectacular surprises!

Rook: The company who makes this one strives on having fragrance-free products, to the point where they even refine their raw materials as best they can to minimize any lingering aromas…

Rook: However, if this is the extent of what a commercially available product is capable of, it may be beneficial to see if we in the Science Club can look into creating completely fragrance-free cosmetics.

Rook: Next, I'll use concealer. When I asked Vil for recommendations, he gave me an array of colors to choose from to help cover my freckles.

Rook: In the end, after taking into account my skin tone and testing out many different options, I selected this concealer because it had no scent and it adheres well to my skin.

Rook: Similar to how wild animals will protect themselves with camouflage, I must evenly smooth it all over my skin… Good, this should be enough for the base makeup.

Rook: Ah, right. I should use the special eye cosmetic palette that Vil recommended to me when I joined him shopping the other day.

Rook: The way the fine pearl powder shines is as beautiful as sunlight streaming through darkened winter clouds.

Rook: LA PERFECTION…! A perfect look for a perfect birthday!

[doors open and close]

Rook: ―It seems the other students are slowly awakening. Mhhm, I'm sure in another 10 minutes or so, the washroom will be absolutely packed.

Rook: I think I'll quickly check Magicam before changing into my uniform. Has there been any news on Roi du Neige's… Oh?

Rook: It looks as though I received a message exactly at midnight. Oh, this is from―

[Main Street]

[Pomefiore students chatter with Rook]

Cater: Ooh, looks like he's already been cornered by folks～ As it should be on a birthday!

Cater: Rook-kun, Happy Birthday! Your makeup is on point today! Can't expect anything less from a Pomefiore student ♪

Rook: Merci, Cater-kun. And I absolutely loved the message you sent right at midnight.

Rook: Not only did you decorate the picture beautifully, your message was extremely heartwarming.

Cater: I'm glad you liked it～ Soooo… Wanna snap another picture now that it's your actual birthday?

Rook: OUI!!

Requested by @farfalla049, @thelonepearl, and @mizumire.

#twisted wonderland #twst #rook hunt #cater diamond #twst rook #twst cater #twst translation #twst birthday #mention: vil #mention: neige

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grogumaximus · 2 months ago

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Getting here was his lifelong dream. Is it how he imagined it?

"When you're a kid, you dream of just driving. Instead, I realized that F1 isn't just about getting in a car and racing, but there's also a lot more outside to learn to manage."

Did you also have to adapt your character, which has always been very friendly and open?

"I've changed a lot in the last year, to protect myself. I've realized that private things should remain private and I try to be careful."

Your debut in the rain surprised everyone. What do you like about racing in the wet?

"To be honest, I don't know. It's always come naturally to me in single-seaters. And to think that I didn't like it at all in karts."

In the rain in 2020 he had a bad accident in which he broke his leg. How do you get back into wearing a helmet after an episode like that?

"Maybe that's also why I didn't like the rain in karts. When I returned to the track the year after the accident I really struggled in the rain. I kept going thanks to passion and experience but initially it was a shock."

Was it difficult to overcome?

"Yes, because when something like this has never happened to you, you don't think it could happen to you. It takes time to accept it and to understand how to move forward, how to run without fear again."

This weekend he will be racing his first home race in F1. How exciting will it be?

"I'm so happy. On Friday I'll arrive directly from my house in Bologna and sleep in my own bed before going to the track. It's also my little sister's birthday, so I can celebrate with her."

Will there be someone special by his side?

"My whole family, my best friends and even my classmates. Since I can't go on school trips, I thought I'd take them to the track with me over the weekend."

His father is following him in all the races of the season. How does he help him?

"We analyze each session together to see where I can improve. And then dad is my rock, he is the one I can always count on and having his support in this very important year for me is fundamental."

Among the challenges of this year there will also be the Maturity exam to take. Are you ready?

"I'm a little nervous. Unfortunately I won't be able to take the exams with my classmates because I have competitions in that period, but I want to get there, also to make my mother proud, she means a lot to me."

He has an extraordinary memory: He can remember all the times he has achieved on the track over the years. Is this talent a help in F1?

"I'm not sure where this ability comes from. When I want to beat a time it sticks in my head and remembering the ones from previous years allows me to understand the conditions of the track. Let's say that in general it helps me to arrive prepared, but I don't do it on purpose, it just happens."

We often see you with Verstappen. Do you get along?

"I think people can get the wrong idea about Max: on the track he's an animal but off it he's a very nice guy. We really like GT and simulator racing, we have a lot in common."

You took Hamilton's place at Mercedes. Does the comparison weigh on you?

"No, because I know I'm not his replacement. I simply feel like the new Mercedes driver and I'm grateful for the opportunity that has been given to me."

His girlfriend Eliska was a go-kart racer. Is it important for her to know the environment?

"A lot. She doesn't compete anymore, she's chosen to focus on her studies, but the fact that she understands everything that goes into it helps me. And then when she comes with me to the paddock she knows how to move, I know that if I leave her alone she won't have any problems".

How is the relationship with Peter Bonnington, your race engineer?

"Very nice. At the beginning I saw him a bit tense because I'm a very physical guy, I like to hug people, touch them, and "Bono" wasn't used to it, he's more "British". Now that he's opening up I'm very happy when he comes to hug me".

Are the goals you set before the start of the season the same ones you have today?

"No, now they've got up. We have a competitive car and we've achieved some great results. Now I want the first podium, that's the next goal. And then we'll think about the first win."

Is there anything you miss about having a normal life?

"Since I was little I've gotten used to living a life different from my peers. But running is what I love, what I've always wanted to do and what I'll want to do for the rest of my life. Nothing really weighs me down."

#as requested #translated by google #kimi antonelli

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steelheart-redux · 1 month ago

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Steelheart Redux: Year 1 Retrospective

I meant to post this yesterday but forgot. Oops. Anyway, June 1st marked the official first full year of Steelheart Redux! For me, at least. While the comic didn’t go public until September, those who have been here since the start remember that I uploaded all of chapter 1 at once. That work started in June, so I consider that the comic’s effective birthday.

With that disclaimer out of the way: what a year it’s been! In 365 days, I drew 153 comic pages. That’s about 0.4 pages a day— a little shy of a page every other day. Granted, those numbers aren’t an even spread. I made all of chapter 1 in three months (68 pages) and then had to take a break for a while because of wrist strain (wonder how THAT happened…) and then the amount of backlog I had fluctuated wildly for a while. Some days I have more time and motivation than others. It happens.

Quite honestly, I’m mainly happy that I’ve stuck with the project. My worst fear was that I’d get a month or two into Actually Doing The Thing, then get bored, demotivated, and give up. Luckily, my brain has allowed me to stick with Redux with a level of consistency that is frankly unforeseen from me, and I’m just as motivated as I was a year ago, if not more, thanks to people's interest. I’ve said it before, but the reception to the story already regularly blows me away. I went into this with the expectation that it would take years for the comic to gain any real traction, if it ever happened at all. But here we are, a year in, with tens, if not hundreds of regular readers across multiple platforms. It’s an honor I don’t take lightly, and as I’ve said, I’m so, so grateful for the trust and support.

Looking back, the comic started on wobbly feet. That’s something I knew even at the time and had to make my peace with. Steelheart Redux is my first original story project, first long-form comic (first colored comic longer than a few pages, tbh), and first time I've ever really left the title of "fanartist" behind for longer than a month or so. I knew I was entering uncharted waters and that whatever I made, I'd later come to see as 'bad', or at least, not executed as well as it could have been. Unfortunately, the only way to get that experience and improve is to do it bad. So I did it bad!

STRUGGLES:

Chapter 1 is way too long. Not in terms of content, but in terms of page count. For some reason, I was utterly allergic to the idea of putting more than four panels on a page. While I do like the pacing of it, and the sort of slow ease-in to the world and the setting, I made way more work for myself than I needed to. I definitely could have cut at least 10 pages by compressing things without seriously hurting the pacing, and it would have saved me a lot of trouble. Figuring out how to "trim the fat" and get to where I'm going as fast as possible without making things feel rushed is still something I'm working on, but I'm a lot more intentional about things now that I know it can cost me time and physical strain. You can see the font size slowly shrinking throughout the comic's run as I pack more in, lol. Honestly, it kind of works.

I have various other nitpicks. I'm sparing myself from the general "I don't like how I drew that"s in terms of anatomy and such, as those are just an inescapable result of improving as an artist and not worth getting in the weeds over. I will raise my eyebrows over some lighting choices-- I went out of my way to plan out a way to make the nighttime section of early chapter 2 read as "night, but not dark", and then the entire bit was annoyingly dark as hell. Trying to get the purple DRACO to visually stand out from the concrete there was obnoxiously difficult. I don't think it's bad-- I like the 'scribble background' gimmick I came up with to save myself from having to do backgrounds there, for one thing-- but I don't think it would have killed me to brighten up that section a bit. Something to keep in mind for later.

Speaking of backgrounds. Maybe it's too early to say, but at least right now, changing the background style was a game changer. That was one of the largest time sinks of early pages, adding 2-3 hours to every page that had at least one or two backgrounds. They were doable, but tedious, and as time went on, I found myself enjoying them less and less, instead of more and more as I'd hoped. You can see details start to disappear as a result, as backgrounds stopped being a "fun worldbuilding element" and "visual element of the page" and became just "something I had to draw to get the page done". Changing the style to a much looser one has brought the fun back, and made it much easier to pack in all the details I actually enjoy drawing without getting bogged down in "is the perspective exactly right". I've written posts before about making things easier for yourself if you're doing a long-form project; this is honestly my best example.

GROWTH:

I feel like, looking back, I can see myself become a lot more confident with drawing various things. Steelheart Redux is filled-- intentionally and not-- with things I'm bad at drawing, which has forced me to improve at those things sheerly through unavoidable repetition. Mainly, this includes backgrounds, mechs (still can't get me to draw cars though LOL), full bodies, and profiles.

It's also interesting to see the way I draw characters change. Going into the comic, I'd already been drawing Arthur for years, but making pages forced me to really lock in his design and get comfortable with drawing it. While it's not too different in terms of content, it has a different 'feel' now. This, too, I know is inevitable, and honestly something I look forward to.

I've become a lot more confident in doing these things, which makes making pages less intimidating and lets me experiment more with layouts and angles I might have otherwise been afraid to try. It's nice! It shows in a lot of the end of chapter 2, which is one of my favorite parts of the chapter. I was worried about hitting those emotional beats, because they're setting up for a lot and really needed to feel meaningful, but I think I landed them alright. My character writing is still something I worry a bit about-- there's a lot of subtlety to these guys and this story I worry I won't be able to get across in a more visual story-- but that's something for me to increasingly focus on going forward.

Away from the comic, I've also improved a lot as a 3D modeler. My robot rigs have improved, and I have much better human bases to work off. I can also slam out a layout for a scene much faster, which is a nice time boost to my workflow.

Overall, despite the hurdles and rough edges of some of the early stuff, I'm incredibly proud of everything I've produced. This is the first time I've ever put my heart, body, and soul so thoroughly into a project like this, and I'd like to think it shows.

While we're still in somewhat of the early stage of the comic's story, I'm hoping I've made a solid foundation for myself. I'm so excited for what's to come, and hoping I can execute it even better, year by year.

#steelheart redux #behind the redux #retrospective #long post

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thegoldencontracts · 2 months ago

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Is it just me, or is Azul's whole character arc contain some really good commentary on modern society (Particularly the hyperindividualistic grind/self improvement/hustle culture)?

I know this seems like a curtains are just blue moment but hear me out-

A man of a minority race in his country, bullied for not being conventionally attractive, for not being athletic, for his race, really, his- everything. And how does he react to it?

He grinds to improve himself. He chases after increasing numbers—more money, more talents, more, more, more. He becomes skinny. He becomes a human. He becomes talented and powerful.

But is this really the best way for him to react? Hell no! If everything was right, he would've been given a place to find solace, a therapist, a healthy outlet for his emotions. But no such place exists. All he can do to find comfort is furiously chase after self improvement, more and more until he can't even be sure if it's really improvement anymore.

I've seen this kind of thing. Online, and in real life. People—particularly men, but I've also seen it happen to women—who are treated poorly by their peers, who aren't given a safe place to recover and share their emotions, who end up learning hard into self improvement.

And so Azul, like these people. becomes fit and talented and human. But... is he happy?

Well, he's on the verge of overblot by the time we meet him, and he has heavily disordered eating patterns, so that question answers itself. He seems happy to an undiscerning eye, maybe. Successful, a teenage owner of a successful business. But he is certainly not happy.

And Jade and Floyd, though they're his friends, certainly, don't act like it. They struggle to admit they care, straight up calling themselves "business parters." Isn't that a thing in a lot of men's friendships nowadays? Where unabashed affection is seen as "cringey" or "lame"? They're concerned for him and his issues, clearly, but they still make insensitive jokes about it at times (I'm looking at you and the fat jokes, Jade Leech).

Azul is miserable. But still, even though he has friends, he has no healthy outlet for it. What does he do instead? Grind for more. And in the process, he hurts other people, too. He is, in his current state, not the best person. Because of his trauma, he's hurt others, taking their talents and even forcing them into servitude.

A lot of people stuck in hustle culture do absolutely shitty things. And like with Azul... there's no excuse for it. Seriously. I love Azul, but I will be the first to admit, he's not a good person.

But then the overblot happens. He loses his life's work. But is that really so bad when his life's work was a collection of times he'd hurt other people? Yes, a particularly shrewd individual could say "Well, he earned those talents, fair and square. He always delivers on his end of the bargain." But we don't know that for sure. Especially since we've seen him use the fact that a magicless sixteen year old is having access to food and shelter held over their head by the supposed "responsible adult" in order to take their home. Yes, this was likely his worst moment. Still— him losing the contracts wasn't so bad. I think it was a wake up call for him.

Unfortunately, though, because of all the turmoil he was already dealing with, unresolved trauma, and just general assholery Leona was partaking in, he snaps. And he, again, hurts people.

Azul isn't sent to jail, or fined beyond belief, or turned into a disgrace, or anything. He is told, forthright, especially in the manga, that though what he was doing was unequivocally wrong, he still has the work ethic he's built. He sees that, in their own way, Jade and Floyd will be there for him.

Because he's done bad things, and lost himself quite a bit, but he's still young. He can improve, and though he definitely doesn't seem to, a good observer can notice quite a few things. Him being forthright with Riddle in Book Six. Eating treats in the Glorious Masquerade. Book Six especially shows his own weird kindness, I would say, with how he helps save the world—"but only for the stock market", of course. And especially with him and Riddle's interactions.

In our society, so many of the things people grind for, hurt others for, likes, follows, status, wealth—these things can vanish in an instant. If you're even falsely accused of a crime after years of hard work, there is a good chance you won't have a job by the time the issue is resolved. A single scandal or controversy can all but wipe our your follower count. These things, though we can't always see it, just like Azul couldn't, are as fragile as the paper of the golden contracts.

But you still have yourself. Azul still had his work ethic. Those contracts are never coming back. Maybe that's for the better. But even at Rock Bottom, Azul persisted. His life probably seemed like it was over. He overblotted in his own restaurant, he'd lost his own life's work, and people saw him at his most vulnerable.

And for a lot of people, these kinds of things happen, and they, too, must persist. Though I don't want to go into details about it because it's a bit personal, I had a moment like this too. But after a long, long time, and a lot of work, things got better, and I found a new normal.

Do I think that all stories end with relative happiness like Azul's, or even mine did? No. Definitely not. I'm not even trying to say this is about the value of persistence. But Azul's story really does remind me of a lot of people, particularly young men, who get roped into hustle culture. Who do and say shitty things for their own gain.

It's just an interesting thing, honestly. Kinda makes me wanna write a fic where he gets talked down by an activist who tells him his ideals are the product of a toxic capitalistic society that shuns talk of feelings and anybody that isn't seen as productive enough because holy shit he reminds me of at least three people I know and they all need a therapist

#tina rambles #azul ashengrotto #twst #twisted wonderland #twst analysis #im sorry but im back on my bullshit

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makanidotdot · 1 year ago

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You've been one of my all-time favorite artists for years now. I was wondering if there was any random tips you'd like to share when it comes to creating art? Perhaps a bit of your mindset when working? Would assume you get a lot of these type of asks, so feel free to ignore it.

I'm happy to see your posting here a bit again, by the way.

I've been thinking abt this all week lol UHH I think a good general artist-y tip I could give is maybe just: if you want to make something, make it. Do as much of, or as little of it as you want. Learn to mentally repel anything internal or external that makes you feel insecure or lazy or cringe or whatever for what you want to make. Because it's not specific exercises or routines or types of art that will make you a better artist- it's just Doing. And if you indulge in what you like, you will do more. The more you do, the more you'll learn, the more you'll level up and want to learn the next new thing that will help you make what you want to make better, and then voila you've got the makings of a decent robust skillset.

The reverse tip of that is don't force yourself to make art if you're not feeling it either. Taking breaks is actually really good for overall improvement too.

Also take an anatomy course and learn how to pose 3d models and draw over them lol

#also yo your art is sweet :Y

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last-words-ofashootingstar · 3 months ago

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hi! i really like your baby series and i’m so intrigued with the storyline! this is not a request or anything, but more of a thought or like curiosity over the members relationship and thoughts of baby? how is it affecting them individually? do they truly not plan on freeing baby?

also, i think you’ve improved so much with your writing lately! love seeing authors grow<3

aaaaah thank you so much 🥹i actually got another ask similar to this;

im glad people are interested in this series, i've been really enjoying making it more fleshed out ! i was actually already writing a "deep dive" into baby and the members relationships just like to look at as a reference when writing more- so im glad people want to see more

this isn't a full chapter or written like one, more like headcanons for how each of the members interact with baby and how they're affected, and some bits and pieces of plot that i have in my head.

wondering wtf we're talking about ? read it here !

‼️disclaimer: it's important to remember that this is a FICTIONAL world. mental health is a complex thing, and this au explores it a lot: especially right now i'm going to talk about how this situation affects the other members of the group, and their mental health. take care of yourselves !

so,

as a group, as a whole, they're messed up. seonghwa is someone who they look up to and love and spend almost all of their time with, so obviously watching him do these things to someone is... uuuuhm let's say upsetting ? unsettling ? scary ? deeply messing with the very foundation of their relationship ? yes all of those things.

it's canon in the story that hwa has mental issues (clearly, because he kidnapped someone because he couldn't stand to let them leave) and he has since well before he met baby. he has outbursts of emotions that often end in destruction; whether it's of things, relationships, or himself. his members already know he's not "normal" but they love him anyway. they made a promise together to "do their best for their clearly challenged hyung", but what does that really mean ?

well for one, they didn't immediately call the police. i have an image in my head of them all having a very long conversation about what to do after they see him freaking the fuck out at the thought of them taking you away (i'll probably write this out one day soon). yeosang, who you're canonically closest too in the beginning, is obviously like "WTF DAWG WE'RE CALLING THE POLICE, DUH". i think it was most likely hongjoong who stopped him and the others from turning him in. he's his best friend and probably in a close tie with baby for being the one hwa's illness has affected the most (before san and mingi are subjected to watching hwa mental break someone, more on that in a second).

all of them are very torn, and i know that's hard to imagine probably — but think about it. they're his victims too. they've watched him for years as he went through the ups and downs of whatever disorder it is that he has. they're extremely close. to some extent, i'd say they're probably trauma bonded with him (when a victim and their abuser form a connection, "interspersed with periods of kindness and affection, which creates a sense of dependence and loyalty towards the abuser despite the harmful treatment"). mentioned in "Medicine", you're the reason he threw away his razor blades and the reason he was happy in the few months you were together. so they're afraid of him and of taking you away from him.

so how does that affect their relationship with his newest victim - baby ? i broke it down by member so i don't go crazy trying to fit them all into boxes 😭 we'll start with what's already been written as canon and then dive deeper (i saved san and mingi for last because i have soooo many thoughts)

HONGJOONG : baby no like. i briefly mention this in "Medicine", hwa has a picture of him in the room and you resent the fact that he's obviously so close to your kidnapper. but he doesn't treat you any differently because of that.

he made a promise to himself (lots of them did) that he'd try to help you and his only hyung at the same time (which is kind of impossible tbh and he knows this deep down). he lowkey resents himself, he prides himself on being a good person and you can't do that while being complicit with your best friend keeping someone captive and paying people hush money.

since he's hwas best friend, he trusts him to help "care" for you. it's times like that when joong tries to redeem himself. he'll tell hwa "yes of course i helped her take a bath", BITCH NO HE DID NOOOOT !! he (and the others) will never cross the line of making you feel more vulnerable than ever by looking at you while you're naked. he lets you do it on your own, and it's the only times you ever get to; so you start resenting him less and less as time goes on because he lets you have a little bit of independence. at some point, hate turns into just tolerance for the leader of the group. you don't mind him, but you don't like him either.

also because he's hwas best friend, he's the least afraid to stand up to him (because he's least likely to be attacked). whenever seonghwa is being especially overbearing or strict or clingy and he can see you starting to freak out, he pushes you behind him and tells hwa to take a walk to calm himself.

that's probably the extent of your relationship, because of your hesitation about him. you don't want to play with him when you're in little space and you certainly don't want to even talk to him when youre not.

YUNHO : nothing is really set in stone about your relationship or how everything affects him, but i do have some thoughts.

he was one of the ones on yeosangs side, wanting to immediately call the police. and when they didn't, he was just kind of numb to the whole situation for a while. it was probably something small you did that got him sucked further into the shit show. you accidentally broke something and cried about how hwa would be upset, or asked him to give you a piggy back ride because he was the tallest and you wanted to feel big for a moment.

whatever it is, after he interacts with you for the first time when you're in little space and not crying your eyes out — he's less hesitant. he wants to help you clean up the mess or hold you on his back so you can feel like you aren't squish-able in hwas hand, even for a second.

as he grows closer with you, he gets more and more upset with the way hwa treats you; because he's no longer distancing himself. he tried to stand up to hwa once. and only once...

YEOSANG : again, canonically closest to reader before the whole kidnapping debacle. so not only is he watching his hyung fall deeper into madness, he's watching someone he considers a friend be slowly broken day by day. he's undoubtedly fighting himself every single day on what to do. the logical part of him says help the innocent woman begging for his help, but his heart breaks every time he thinks of turning his friend of almost a decade in. he probably fell into a depressed state for a good while before he finally realized there was nothing he could do but try and help both of you (again, impossible).

you don't see yeosang after the first night for weeeeeks, and you're glad because you feel deeply betrayed that he's letting this happen to you.

when he does come around, you don't want to look at him (and you're not allowed to per seonghwa's no eye contact rule). but the first time he shows up in the apartment, he's on a mission to give you break from hwa regardless if he tries to stop him. yeosang just grabs your hand and tells to hwa, "im babysitting!" it's the first time you leave the apartment since you've been taken, and even though he only takes you one floor down and to his and yunho's apartment; you're immediately relieved to be doing anything without seonghwa breathing down your neck.

because of that, and your previous friendship, you forgive (?) him pretty quickly. he still has that voice in the back of his head saying that because hwa trusts him, he could just hold your hand and walk right out of the building. but he doesn't. because hwa's shouts and cries whenever they tried to pry you from him echo louder.

he's more afraid to stand up to him than joong is, but he still does it. not to his face. but things like giving you a bag of gummy bears or something when he's "babysitting", or letting you read or watch things hwas forbidden. letting you choose what to do before he comes and drags you back to your strict routine.

he still likes to think he's still your friend, but he knows better than that. friends don't hold each other captive.

WOOYOUNG : holy shiiiiiiit does he detest hwa. i mention he used to look up to him, but now can barely stand to look in his eyes. he even goes as far to hold him down when he reaches for you (along with yeosang in Medicine).

he loves kids, and while you aren't actually a kid, you're often forced into your mindset of one. he stormed off when they came to the conclusion that they wouldn't call the police, and while he came back around quicker than sang (because his best friend lives there) he was opposite of him. he ignored you completely. he wanted to distance himself as much as possible so he didn't break their promise to take care of hwa.

but, again, it's something small you do. you're all alone (besides the paid off bodyguard) while hwa is recording something. you look bored out of your mind, counting the tiles in the hall. you remind him of his brother. so he sits with you.

by the time hwa comes to get you, you're already attached to wooyoung. he's good with you. makes you feel like the world didn't end when hwa dragged you out of it and into his bubble.

he comes to love you (in a strange, broken way), while he hates hwa. every time he sees you crying (which is probably often), he's reminded of his brother and then the fact that you don't just act like a kid, you feel like one in your semi-permanent little space that seonghwa's built for you. and then, the two crash to together and he thinks about what if his brother was kidnapped ? this might be how he'd react, crying and begging for someone to explain why this is happening.

he does everything in his power to make you comfortable without blowing up everyone's lives in the process. he lets you nap in his bed whenever you want so you can sleep without hwa's arms locked around you. he looks hwa dead in the eyes as he throws you a piece of candy. he piggy backs you around the company building, taking turns with yunho. he even gives you a shoulder to cry on when you aren't in little space. he says he's sorry for everyone's actions and lets you rant and punch his chest until you exhaust yourself.

he doesn't feel sad (for hwa at least, like most of the others might. but he definitely feels sad for you). he's angry. at hwa, at the people who agree to be paid off, at the members, and of course; at himself.

JONGHO : canon bff. ngl i want to make a 12k story about you just being happy to make up for... everything lmaooo. lots of facts about you set in stone: you ran to jongho because he was the scariest looking member, and he protected you from hwa (if only briefly). he calls you little bear, and you call him big bear (im gonna cry). one of his shirts is your favorite sleep shirt- but hwa doesn't let you wear it often (cause he's a jealous jerk). he does lots of things with you and spends a lot of time with you, even helped you make a stuffed bear.

okay, all of that being said... he hates you. not YOU like as a person, he (like woo and others) comes to deeply care about you. but he hates the idea of you. in his mind, you made hwa snap. you made his company corrupt, you did this that and the other. but when he really sits down and thinks about it, YOU didn't do any of that. HWA did.

and the thought of that is too much for him to handle, so he puts the blame on you until the blame game dies off and he just accepts that this is nobodies fault but hwa's, and subsequently his for not being brave enough to give up everything they've worked for.

he, like sang, often takes you away to the other apartment to give you a break. they even have a little area for you specifically after a few months. because that's where you spend almost all of your time when not on hwas (thankfully metaphorical) leash. being that it belongs to two members youre closest with (woo and jongho) and the member hwa is closest with (joong); he feels safer letting you be there than with yeosang and yunho (he still thinks yeosang is going to steal you away and run off because you knew him before).

he'll also always come to you when hwa refuses to let you leave the apartment (either cause he's paranoid or you're being punished), he'll come and offer you a little escape from reality by reading you as many stories as you ask for.

whenever you slip from your little space, he strays away. because when you're in your right mind, you ask them why they're doing this and how can they sleep at night ?

and he doesn't have an acceptable answer for any of the questions you ask.

SAN AND MINGI : okay this section is for them as a whole but then more specific details for each of them.

because they live with hwa, and now you, they're unfortunately given a first row seat to the horror of their close friend doing everything in his power to break someone's resolve and will to fight. and HOLY SHIT DOES THAT FUCK SOMEONE UP. even though they aren't directly involved (most of the time) they have to see and or hear the abuse that takes place everyday. it wears them down almost as much as it does you (actually not nearly as much but still- good gawd dayum).

the day seonghwa had kidnapped you, they were the ones who heard you scream for help. san was the one to wrestle hwa off of you while mingi ran for the others. your screams for help as you banged on the wall to get their attention will very well haunt them for the rest of their lives. not only that, but your sobs the entire first week- especially at night. after the third night, san went to one of the other apartments; but mingi forced himself to listen to your sorrow because he was partly responsible. this was his punishment.

they had to watch you be carried from room to room, barely able to use your own legs. they had to talk most with you while never once meeting your eyes lest they face seonghwa's wrath. it's briefly mentioned that mingi had to take a three week hiatus to hide the bruises after he was caught looking in your eyes. while he had it bad, you had it worse. he made you kneel facing a corner, telling you that if you couldn't keep your eyes to yourself that you shouldn't look at anything at all, actually ! and you, and san who was in the other corner to avoid the same fate, had to listen to what he did. his punishment was only physical, and only once (that doesn't really make it any better but-) but yours continued for a week. and the both of them were forced to watch as hwa put you back in the corner day after day after you ate breakfast, only allowed to move when he said so. it was breaking your mind slowly, forced to look at nothing but the plain walls as life when on around you. the seventh day, they watched as you clung to his leg and begged like you were begging for your life.

they watched as you slowly became less and less defiant, and they started feeling like it was normal when hwa sat you down at the table every morning. they were broken down along with you.

but along with all of that, they also have the most to try and help you whenever possible (while sticking to their vague promise of helping hwa)

SAN : in "Losing Dogs", i tried to make him more empathic with reader, trying to get you to clam down so you can avoid hwa's anger. it's clear that he's attached to you by that point (around six months in), even calling you his own nickname of "peanut" (stfu why did i do that im gonna cry again) . in "Medicine", it's canon that he doesn't like to call you "Baby" because he likes to give you some sort of independence from hwa, even if you're too fuzzy headed to notice.

in the beginning though, he avoided you like the plague. he was only out of his room for meals (which hwa insisted should still be eaten together, like before). he didn't even glance your way even though he could feel your glare. he was detaching from everythiiiiing going on around him. it took him two weeks to even speak unprompted, even to wooyoung.

after the first two weeks, you were in little space more and it was less chaotic in the apartment, so his mind starting to think things weren't so bad even if his gut said this was still wrong.

your relationship started with small things, as with the others, when the timer hwa set for you allowed time with the tv went off- he turned it off, and left the tv on. telling hwa it didn't go off before giving you a knowing smile. he noticed your finger hovering over the button when the news channel was selected, but it never pressed down because hwa forbade it. so he caught you after lunch when you were on the way to the bathroom and told you what was happening outside.

he knew it was because hwa was trying to make you forget there was a world out there besides this building and the company. and that was something he could fix. it was little, but the smile on your face every day when he told you every headline he could remember was big. it became your secret meeting place.

during your week long time out, whenever hwa would leave the room; he'd run over and place his hands under your knees to give you a small respite until he heard his footsteps coming back. he was always back on the couch before hwa entered, like nothing ever moved.

whenever hwa is having an episode, you find yourself hiding behind san when jongho or sang aren't around. your fragile mind telling you that they're strong, so they'll protect you. and he does, until hwa notices you hiding and calms himself down so he doesn't scare his baby any further.

he knows it's wrong, he knows he could knock hwa out and take you to the nearest hospital everytime you end up at the table with a new injury. and he hates himself because he knows he won't.

no matter how much he cares about his 'peanut', his hyung comes first.

MINGI : OH MY BABY 😭 YOU RIGHT HES SO PRECIOUS i really be putting him through it omg... okay so, canonically; he's been at the receiving end of hwa's abuse almost as much as baby has. in "Serendipity", before everything, he still flinched and covered his head when hwa was yelling. obviously, he's already scared of him. his hiatus because the bruises, a hinted at escape attempt that ended similarly to looking you in the eyes

(only ten times worse because he dared to fight back to give you time to run as far as possible)

he already has anxiety, and stacked ontop of that is being a victim of hwas instability, and ontop of THAT is watching with san as he goes about making you completely compliant and dependent on him, AND ONTOP OF THAT is the fact that he's a good person stuck in an impossible situation; wanting to help you but also being attached to hwa and everything they've worked for. yeah, mingi is NOT OKAY. but he does his best.

he's close to you. and you're close to him. it's trauma-collective bonding TO THE MAX (when a traumatic experience or situation affects two or more people and they form a strong bond because of it) because you're both more emotionally vulnerable than the others. he isn't even on the same leveeeel as yeosang, wooyoung, and jongho. you have a bond like nothing else (even though it's still undoubtedly unhealthy).

after the first five days of listening you sob at night, he sat next to you at the table. he and san always sat on the other side before that morning. with hwa on your other side, he didn't see as mingi placed a comforting hand on your knee. one that seemed to say everything. hwa attributed your crying to the fact that you were still adjusting, and he never knew that it was because mingi was silently apologizing.

something i'm actually writing: after that, he said that he would always leave his door unlocked in case you needed a shoulder to cry on or even just a place to be away from hwa for a moment. the first time you took him up on his offer was the night after you both got in trouble for making eye contact. you snuck out of hwa's arms and came to mingi, even though you were scared shitless he'd wake up and find you missing from his side. you didn't say anything, and neither did he. it was an unspoken conversation that told him you knew he was a victim too as you locked eyes again, a hint of defiance in both of you despite what you had gone through just hours before. after that, the next time was a few weeks later after you tried to rapunzel your way out a window with some sheets. you asked if he still loved his hyung. he knew he should say no, especially when he was the cause of the scratches on your legs and the bandage on your crushed foot, the source of all of your pain.

but he still said yes.

(I WENT SO CRAZY WRITING THIS IM SORRY I JUST HAVE SO MANY IDEAS😢 THIS AU GOT ME IN A HEADLOCK)

#stars journal #ateez #ateez fic #yandere seonghwa x reader #yandere park seonghwa #seonghwa au #ateez au #ateez x reader #angsts fic #yandere fic #baby series

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salemssimblr · 6 months ago

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My Top 24 Screenshots Renders of 2024!

I was tagged by the so many lovely mutuals and creators! Thank you @elderwisp, @savagemagician3, @sikoi, @blvckentropy, @mosneakers, & @azeterna! I love yall so much!

I'm so sorry, despite my very best efforts I couldn't choose just 24, so have 30 instead 😅

Looking at all these together, I'm worried I may have plateau'd just a bit 😅 No but in reality, it's really cool to see that I've refined my style and methods over the year, starting in January and continuing it all through 2024. Seeing progress and improvement is one of my favorite things about this process, so doing these recaps is always enjoyable.

January:

Looking back, I'm still so proud of the first dancing set of renders for Ariss & Vasily, and who could forget the first Alice sighting?? I can't, look at her.

February:

February was a bit of a slow month for me but I still love how this A+tM album cover came out!

March:

March was a bit slower, but I love this set of Ariss (:

April:

April was a goood month, I'm still so in love with all three of these.

May:

MerMay was lacking for me a bit this year, but I really love how my contribution turned out (: & this spicy render of Ariss & Vasily is one of my favorites, if for no other reason than his little fang peek.

June:

June was all about Alice + the Madness! & like LEGIT? I still can't believe I made this Rolling Stone cover? I have a secret, I've tried to make another one for Alice, but nothing has or probably will ever look as good as this one so I've given up lmfaoooo

& this render of Erisande was such a labor of love. I sat down and said it'd be really quick and then spent hours editing meshes and adjusting the lighting... but then, that always happens with me and "quick" renders 😅

July:

Bit of a slow month, but I'm still so floored (& happy!) about the love Millie has gotten! This isn't even a completed render and it's one of my most well-received posts to date haha, but I can't blame anyone, look how cute she is.

August:

Ramping up into spooky season we have two of my favorite renders of all time, my "bog demon" and mothwoman! As obsessed as I am with Ariss and Vasily, it's really nice to do creative one-off renders and these were both SO FUN to do. I hope to do more in the new year too (:

September:

This iconic portrait of Ariss will always be one of my favorites (& is actually my computer's wallpaper rn, but a version updated with her 'new' tattoos), & this render of Kai could definitely be improved on (maybe in the new year...) but it was a really fun challenge! I do see flaws in it now but that's growing and learning!

October:

October was (not surprisingly) a very busy month for me! The idea for the render of Theo & Millie had been rolling around in my head since I first created them, & while the end result wasn't exactly what I was envisioning, I still really love how it turned out.

& though this set of renders for Ariss & Vasily took me FOR-FUCKING-EVER, and I see a lot of flaws even now (after trying my damnedest to have NONE), I still really love it. The end result/edit/colorway was NOT what I planned but I really fell in love with it.

November:

November, the month of ambitious scene-building, pose-making, and upping my skin shader game in a BIG way. I spent literal hours perfecting Ariss' new tattoo, and literal days building the scene for that gorgeous render of Kai.

& I'm so glad yall love that pose set! It was definitely a learning experience and a labor of love.

December:

Looking at this overview, December has been dark and spicy lmfao but I actually love it. Once again, all of these took wayyyy longer than I thought they would when I sat down to start them, but I'm genuinely in love with all three!

& that's a wrap (so far) on 2024! I'm having surgery tomorrow so not sure I'll be able to create/post anything else this year, but I have big plans for 2025! So stay tuned (:

I'm tagginggggggg @kuroashims, @a-m-pyra. @acidheaddd, @gothoffspring, @pralinesims, @thebramblewood, @moonfromearth, @nepotisim, & YOU, I want to see all your creations!

(There were a LOT more creators I wanted to tag but I saw yall have already done this!)

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims #ts4 render #ts4 edit #sims 4 render #sims 4 edit #sims render #sims edit #tag game #top 24 #top 24 of 2024 #top 2024

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thyfleshc0nsumed · 11 months ago

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So I'm a phone sex operator and given the fact that I'm a trans woman, the vast majority of my clients come to me with sissy or sissy adjacent fetishes. Some of them are perfectly happy to keep their 'feminine expression' kept in a box most of the time. Some of them are a okay with it being just something they do to get their rocks off. It's a hobby for them.

But a lot of them aren't. So many of them want to be, cuz frankly, being fulfilled by dressing up on the weekends means that change is not required. If I can cordon off this part of myself and be perfectly happy, what is there to change?

A lot of my clients clearly aren't happy with that arrangement of their lives. Some of them will never do anything about it. But some of them are on the precipice of change. The come to me to talk through it.

I've talked to a bit under two dozen of these sorts in depth. One things that I see over and over and over again is this preoccupation with this question--"am I really trans?", and I think it's the wrong question to be asking, cuz, well, it kinda doesn't really matter.

Whatever it is that makes us feel these particular feelings about ourselves is placed within the context of our society's systems of gender. What 'trans' is is not fixed, natural, or god ordained, it's socially created.

So this question of "am I trans" just isn't very helpful. What I really wish they were asking themselves is "I feel xyz way, what am I going to do about it?" Cuz that's a material question. "What steps can I take to live a happier life?"

A lot of these girls are carried by inertia. In many ways, it's easier to keep things the same and be unhappy than make changes to improve our quality of life. But I think we owe it to ourselves to do the scary shit, to live authentically. Cuz we've only got this one life, best to start living it.

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funishment-time · 7 months ago

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another crop of Kodaka birthday posts!

(note: from here on i'll be reposting these one at a time so that you all can reblog/comment on the character you like, rather than a Group!)

we've got:

Himiko

Celestia

Miu

Keebo

Nagisa

Kyoko

Rantaro

i've put it all under the cut!

🎩 HIMIKO

auto-translate:

Yumeno: "Ah, it's been a year since my last birthday. However, I've noticed something strange. How many birthdays is this? How old am I? Could it be... that I'm trapped inside a magic barrier? Is that why my measurements haven't changed, no matter how many years pass? Hmm... I know I'm the type who gets more attractive with age, but I still think this is strange. So... I'll use my magic to break through this barrier. It will take a year to chant, but... you'll have to wait. I want to see me all grown up and glamorous!"

🎰 CELESTIA

auto-translate:

Celes: "Oh... So you're celebrating my birthday again this year. I'm so happy. I've been gambling hard this year, but I still haven't won enough to make my dreams come true. However, I've made enough to build a town in the countryside, so I've decided to build my own members-only gambling town, Celes Town. If you want to come, please bring some money. If you run out of money, you won't be able to leave the town... but I guess you don't need to worry about that."

🔧 MIU

auto-translate:

Iruma: "Hya-ha-ha! Tributes have arrived from bored pigs this year too! Every single one of them, men and women, are perverts who get off on me! If you want me to recognize you, you'd better call yourself "the pig of the overly beautiful inventor Iruma Miu" more loudly and increase how many fans I have! Cry a little! Otherwise I won't let you be my fan! What? "In that case, I'll stop being a fan and stop giving you presents"? Wait a sec... I'm just kidding. I'll turn into a pig. I'll cry a little..."

🤖 KEEBO

auto-translate:

Ki-Bo: "Thank you! Birthdays are great after all! What? You're asking me if I'm getting older? How rude! That's discrimination against robots! My parts are designed to deteriorate over time! Even a yearly robot dock is essential! What? You're saying I'm just using a cheap one? That's another rude thing you said! I've recorded what you just said. I'll write it down on a piece of paper I'll remember, so please wait a bit!"

🔵 NAGISA

auto-translate:

Shingetsu: "That's what I'm saying. I'm not a kid anymore. There's no way I'm going to get excited about a birthday. I'm way too busy now to improve myself and live up to everyone's expectations. That's why I don't have time to play around. What? A birthday party? Monaca's hosting it...? I-I'll go! It's important to deepen the bonds with everyone, after all! Of course!"

🔎 KYOKO

auto-translate:

Kirigiri: "Before, when someone did something for me, I would just look confused. I was not good at expressing my joy. But now it's different. I can naturally smile and be happy. Everyone is always congratulating me... and maybe it's partly thanks to him."

🥑 RANTARO

auto-translate:

Amami: "So you're celebrating my birthday again this year? I'm popular for a mysterious guy, aren't I? Haha, I guess it's because I'm good looking. And for my birthday, you went to the library? You just want me to ask, 'Why did you go to the library?' You shouldn't underestimate my powers of deduction. After all, I'm living the school life of killing... I guess I shouldn't go any further than this, haha."

#danganronpa #rantaro amami #nagisa shingetsu #kyoko kirigiri #miu iruma #celestia ludenberg #himiko yumeno #keebo #k1b0 #k1 b0 #kiibo

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parisoonic · 2 years ago

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I just want to say I love how you do your lineart, it looks so good! ahhhhhhhh!!

I'm gathering a lot of advice about the topic of lineart and I just wanna know how you get it to look like that? My line weight is getting better but the drawing itself just comes out a bit.. weird.

Thank you so much! Lineart is probably the thing I've been working hardest on as I am not a lineartist (and still struggle a lot) but it's something I really need to get better at for my job. UM there's honestly so much that could be said on the topic of lineart. Big things for me are:

Weight -> Use line weight (aka thickness) to describe form, lighting, contact and scale. Thick lines imply shadow, contact and nearness-to-camera. Thin lines imply tension, recession and light.

Straights vs Curves -> Use straight lines against curved ones for maximum interest. This is partly a character design thing but as we're using lines to describe our characters it's worth mentioning :)

Complex vx Simple -> Use complex lines against simple. Faces are always complex so therefore the backs of heads should always be simple. Chests are quite complex so backs should be simple. Dorsal sides of the arms are complex (Delt, tricep, bicep) whilst the ventral side is more simple (tricep...mainly) etc.

'Think in Ink' -> Lower your sketch layer almost to 0% opacity so you're not getting hung up on how nice/energetic your sketch look and instead are approaching the piece from an ink mindset. BUT it's digital! So if there's something in your sketch that you like just bring it forward (copy and paste) into your ink layer. I sketch and ink with the same brush so I can use this workflow

'Confidence' -> small hesitant feathery lines will look nervous compared to big swooping lines. Less is always more. I'll redraw arms/limbs until I can get the appearance that it was done in one brush stroke. Again it's digital so you can erase to cheat this look : )

MISC 01: I always hear 'draw from the shoulder'........meh............it's digital so draw from your wrist...it's fine honestly. If we were working at A1 in a life drawing class then we could get some shoulder action going but most of us are hunched over 16inch tablets. I think this advice aims to pull people away from feathery-nervous lineart honestly which you can improve on without relearning how to draw from your shoulder.

MISC 02: For a 'smoother' look do your lineart at a larger canvas size than you need. Once I'm happy with a sketch I usually double the canvas size and do my lineart then.

MISC 03: In PS (at least) anti-aliasing goes funny at any zoom level that isn't in the 5 times table. So try not to look at your canvas when you're zoomed in to 87% or 71.39% or something crazy. Just stick to 25%, 50%, 75% and 100% if possible.

UNFORTUNATE TRUTH: Lineart is incredibly based on raw draughtmanship I've discovered. When you're working with colour you can hide a lot in rendering (shadows, highlights) or post-processing (depth of field) but in lineart all your mistakes are just...there for people to see. There's ways round this...which I use A LOT. 'Flourishes' (I use 'flourishes' to mean over-confident lineart where it veers particuarly thick or particuarly thin in contrast to your approach in the rest of the image) can sort of trick people into thinking you're more confident about an area than you actually are.

As well as leaving 'breathing room' within your lineart instead of actually...resolving the area. I do this the most around the face and hands.

Hopefully some of this helps? Honestly there's a lot of deep dives that could be done into indivudal things and there's also the massive caveat that all of these are 'guidelines' and not strict rules. I also favour a more...concept-arty? animation-y? storyboard-y? look to my lineart which favours flourishes and breathing room for a incomplete/work-in-progress feel which would make methodical colouring (ie: for a comic or something) a pain.

Keep up pratice is the main thing and doing studies of artists who you like that have great lineart - you'll pick up draughtmanship skills along with the lineart studies. Here's some of my lineart from a year or two ago...it varies between very 'standardised' (which makes it difficult to read volumes and to be honest, it's boring) and 'TOO EXCITING' (which...also makes it difficult to read volumes and for the eye to rest).

I'd like to share my brushes at some point as I've found 3 that I really like and use for everything more or less. I discovered that a shocking low amount of people use PS on tumblr (shocking to me I guess as i'm so used to PS being the standard) and everyone seems to use Procreate or Clip Studio Pro...so I want to check that the brushes are Procreate compatible at least before I share!

#sorry if none of this makes sense. im on day TWO of a hangover...kill me now #asks #art tutorial #tutorial

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