#so i'm gonna go enjoy say
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semi-hiatus (probably until may 21st)
#maybe it's time to really say i'm on a semi-hiatus while i'm on break from uni#because i have barely been here#and i have sooooooo much content and other things to catch up on#so i'm gonna go enjoy say#if creativity or boredom takes over i will come and create something#i mean i will still be checking here#but most things are gonna be running on queue :)#so yeah.... probably back when classes start LMAO THE IRONY i'm not god's strongest soldier#i get bored waayyyyyyyyyyy to easily on class#but i'm gonna be more active on twitter i guess so if you wanna you can follow me there#i'm bibsrambles there
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still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)
anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#calling dibs on skeleton kisses as the name of my band#man scully is just a delightful little weirdo and i'm enjoying him immensely#(i'm going with scully until we get something official just because it makes me think of x-files)#(スカリー is also how the agent's name is transliterated and i don't know if it was intentional but i love it as a bonus reference)#(i want to believe™)#gosh though#'no one at school likes me because i won't shut up about halloween and jack skellington' i'm feeling VERY attacked right now twst#look scully your people are out there#just get on the forums and -- oh wait you're probably from like the 1800s or something#(my theory is that he's from the past and there's just some Book Magic going on to bring us together)#(LOOK they made a point of saying that the book fair has been held annually for a super long time)#a hot topic goth born before hot topic was invented...so sad 😔#i dunno i could be wrong but that feels like a good working theory for now#if it wasn't for mal sensing twsty ~magic~ on him i would think he's like. a christmas elf who's going to kidnap jack in a reverse-nmbc#(not ruling that out though because it would be amazing)#god all the sprites in this event look AMAZING. loving the desaturated colors and the extra drawn-on lines 😍#i'm genuinely kinda sad that we aren't gonna get to see every character like this#who knows...maybe halloweentown will be imperiled again next year...#come back and destroy my keys again please#(that said i'm doing weirdly well so far?)#(i promised i'd save for sebek and just do cursory pulls to get the SRs and not hope for the SSRs)#(...but then leona jumpscared me four coffins in anyway. halloween magic is REAL)
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thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:
the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")
tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible
bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)
the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")
that is a man who is always thinking about her.
#you can just picture him at the store thinking “oh boy she's gonna love this :)”#i think the superbowl vhs one chokes me up the most because he's trying so hard to play it cool when he had just lost her#and he needs to break the ice somehow because he hates to put those big feelings into words#he's more into saying what he means with touch and subtext#it's as if he needed SOMETHING off of the shelf at the store to say “i'm glad you're back. i missed you. i hope you're well”#so he goes with a dumbass VHS she is never going to watch. just to see her recognize his coded declaration of love.#and that exhausted smile she reserves for his antics#and it makes me tear up! still! thinking about it!#i know love languages are problematic but i do think there is something underrated about giving gifts as an act of love#of having your thoughts for someone being represented with a physical object. making that love tangible. you can touch it.#(it works very well on me because i tend to assume if you're out of sight you're not thinking about me)#(so looking at a little trinket someone gave me is like oh!!! they actually are thinking about me often. enough to find this Thing)#anyway. that is my emotional ramble for the evening. please enjoy#AND DISCLAIMER: i am sure there are other examples of him giving gifts i forgot and that there are more yet to come#but as a reminder i have only seen up to s5 ep 3 so! pls no spoilers even if i do tag this for the general public#okay promise? promise no spoilers in the tags? thank youuuuu mwah#the x files#txf#msr#fox mulder
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"You really care about me."
"Yeah. I really, really care about you."
"I- I really care about you too."
"No, but... I like, really, really care about you."
#mr. & mrs. smith#mr. & mrs. smith prime#maya erskine#donald glover#john x jane#alana x michael#john smith#jane smith#i... need these two in a romcom i think#i like them both individually and i was gonna get around to it but it really was the interviews they did together that sold me on the show#they've got great chemistry#i enjoyed it for what it is#mr. & mrs. smith spoilers#i just need them in a romcom so they play people who aren't as fucked up because they were both frustrating at times#their last scene made me cry tbh so i guess i'm a sucker#i want them to get a 2nd season just because i like maya and donald but also... fuck amazon#michael#cw: food?#him making sure she's hydrated even though they're going through a rough patch was ao sweet of him#also i can't with her kissing him on the cheek in the last scene#i say i liked this show enough and that i'm not super attached to it... so why am i still thinking about them???#i really wanted to hear her say his real name but i get it#i find it oddly sweet that the first thing john asked her(not said ASKED) was if she really loved him and she said that she did#alana
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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
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one of a kind living in a world gone plastic
baby you're so classic
@most-tragic-character-tournament
(all my thoughts in the tags)
#anyway i found their theme song and lost my mind#tragedyshipping#lloyd garmadon#ninjago#antigone#tagamemnon#pollshipping#i'm gonna be thinking about this for the next hour before i go to sleep#i just wanted to make a playlist for them i didn't think i would find a perfect fit#they have taken over many of my braincells and i can't even complain this is the enrichment i needed#all i'm saying is the idea of a movie trailer for these two is taking shape more and more and this should 100% be the accompanying song#not even a full trailer because that would take forever but like. a 30 second TV spot. family drama. them not really getting along at first#(e.g. glaring at each other while being forced to dance or something)#but then warming up to each other on the road because road trips have my soul when it comes to movies ok#i want them to stargaze in the bed of a hotwired pickup truck while on the run from people who demand bloodshed (a poll winner)#the slow(?) burn of not wanting to be in this mess to actually enjoying spending time together to something more#(trailer/commercial ends on or just after “baby you're so classic” with the cut to the title and in theaters date)#maybe most of the tv spot is them arguing and making life hell for one another but it's hard to deny there's something more brewing#(one of the reviews is just ''A modern classic'' because i think i'm funny)#i really want the title to be a play off of them meeting through the tragic tournament but it's completely different from the tone i want#''tragedy: null and void'' is a fun one#i've never been the greatest at titles if they don't hit me like a truck#anyway hi folks i'm sorry if you have no idea what's happening and see this in your tags#willowarts
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[ID: a digital drawing of Hunter and Willow from the owl house based on the "lesbians doing makeup" meme. Hunter is lying beneath Willow, who straddles him while doing his makeup. He looks at her somewhat dazed and she looks at him fondly. the background is a mid-tone blue. End ID]
This is what they are. To me
#the owl house#toh#hunter toh#willow park#huntlow#this the. 3rd? huntlow meme redraw I've done?#it's fun okay?#yesterday and today were pretty okay but they left me WIPED OUT and this was all i could make lmao#i probably could've spent more time on this but also it was just a silly meme redraw for fun lol it doesn't have to be the mona lisa#<- saying that through gritted teeth btw. it does not have to be the mona lisa#man I'm even too tired for tag rambles i do not have much to say#i will say that i contemplated doing this with amity and willow instead but I'm not super huge into them romantically#hence i figured that as much as i love the off-screen makeover Amity gave willow in s2 (that i lowkey wish ppl did more with)#I'd prefer to indulge myself this once lol#she's gonna give him red eyeshadow i think :]#i was gonna try and draw each of them with more makeup but it straight up didn't look right in my style lol#so uh. just imagine#okay i gotta go listen to music like my life depends on it hope u guys enjoy
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Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet
#Celtrist#cel rambles#I don't particularly care how abundant the merch is on shark robot#It literally feels like they'll take a scrap of anything and make it a pin#Like the Moxie Antartica pin Really sir and a bunch others where they're just a random frame from the show#I mean they're FUN frames at least but I swear I've seen some real random ones that don't even make sense to be a pin#AND I'M SORRY WHY DO THEY HAVE SO MUCH MERCH OF CHARACTERS THAT I CAN'T IMAGINE BEING THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT#Sallie Mae fine I can see why people like her and want merch#Chaz is pushing it especially seeing as he's pretty dead but fine I suppose he has his fans#Glitz and Glam? Okay you already fucked up not going with their beta designs but who really was looking at them and thinking “I want merch”#But fine. I'm sure they have their fans#BUT FREAKING MUFFY?? THE VET RECEPTIONIST? WHO TF WAS ASKING FOR A PIN OF HER? DID YOU EVEN KNOW HER NAME?#They do that shit all the time and it aggravates me. They seem to go by a “quantity over quality” thing.#Which their quality is great btw but the quantity of things they have for characters that don't even matter and are seen once is rediculous#Also when I was gonna look up when we were gonna meet Vassago I saw he was an overlord in the pilot#Curious if that's gonna stay. What's to say overlords can't be hellborns or goetia#Is he a goetia? Not sure.#P-point is I like their merch and the new batch seems to mostly be uniquely made to be merch and I like that#But the amount of “garbage” (that's mean but best way I can put it) merch that has a character little to no one would care about#Or is essentially JUST a screen grab from the show is annoying and just pointlessly fills the shop pages#And while I see from a business perspective why they'd put Vassago out especially since some already like him#I also just think it's silly for him to already have merch when we haven't seen his character other than in the trailer#Surprised they don't have merch of satan out yet lol#Okay but I would've approved only so they could make a krampus joke with him#Granted I don't care about Helluva as much as Hazbin#But can't help to be more critical of it when it has a lot of problems Hazbin has aside from pacing#But absolutely NO excuse or leeway for the reason of the sloppy writing that's present#Lemme reiterate my good ol' phrase here:#You're not in the Sonic fandom for like 22 yrs and don't learn to be critical of the media you enjoy lol#rant
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New fic in progress........
#stucky#stevebucky#my writing#my wips#cass rambles#it's a fake dating modern au!!! and i haven't even gotten up to the fake dating part but i'm having a ball#i'm so excited i want to post it toDAY and have people read it and enjoy it with me#never mind that only 1/4 of it is actually written#you're all just going to have to believe me when i say it's gonna be so good in like. 3 months
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*trundles into your askbox* guess who dug through this entire blog! Hellar it makes me so insanely happy to see more people enjoying this cringe phone I've been on this grind for five years now all alone. Some of my older drawings are in here too I used to be stobotnik :} cheggout my BAG
Holy moly guacamole, that is an amazing Commander Tartar ita bag you got there!
I am so in love with the blender-thingamajig... ohhh look at Agent 8 in there with the lil memcakes... And Tartar on top of the blender... It's so creative!
Yep, this is the best thing I've seen in a long time.
Super duper mega awesome stuff, thank you for showing this to me 🫶
#splatoon#splatoon 2#octo expansion#commander tartar#responding to stuff :o]#cool ita bag RAHHH 🔥#I'm flattered to hear you enjoy this silly cringefail Telephone appreciation blog 🫶#I became a Tartar enjoyer this May... I guess one could say I am fashionably late to the tartar sauce party#this bag is so cool I want to eat it - all the delicious art mmmmh yummy#I genuinely thought that QR-code was going to be a Rick Roll LMAO#[btw I recognize your former username/blog - pretty sure I have reblogged some stuff you posted before]#I actually considered cosplaying as Tartar at some point and I thought about pairing it up with a matching ita bag#recieving this cool thing in my inbox feels like an indirect “JUST DO IT - BECOME THE TARTAR IRL - MAKE THE FUNNY COSPLAY AND BAG” lmao#boy am I railing off in the tags rn whoops - GONNA SAY IT AGAIN THIS BAG IS SO FRICKIN COOL 🫶 AAAAA
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New game interest unlocked
(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)
#ramarl#phantasy star online#long tag warning lol i rambled#so i was introduced to phantasy star online#i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game#thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now#there shall be more of these doodles#i promise you that#meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh#my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it#so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get#but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot#and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them#so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away#hooked the battery back up and bam car was working#so the issue was those hooks#until two days ago when my car didnt work again#looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again#and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED#at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this#i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting#but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it#i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system#or a jeep#but preferably a bus system#sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol
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skyglow:
(alternative title: photo dump of a midnight desert run)
#photography#Ford's Art#color says shit#it was either go on a twelve mile run or re-download grindr and get absolutely blasted so I went with the more responsible option.#b because damn I'm feeling it tonight. or at least I was before the run. I need to shower and then I'll cook dinner and go to bed satiated.#I did also jerk off under the bridge and then piss on someone's flowers on the way home. gotta get those animal instincts out somehow right?#anyway I've successfully vented most of my manic energy and a cold shower will finish it off and then we're good.#the mood meds have been helping a lot. last time I got hit with this kind of a mood I came out of it with huge bite marks and chlamydia.#and I haven't been feeling it nearly as bad this time so that's nice. more like a restless dog and less like a caged wolf thirsty for blood.#yes I'm making references to Call of the Wild again deal with it.#anyway sorry to anyone who sees this from the tags and not because you follow me. you didn't sign up for this lmao.#also. this is why I can't be a binary trans woman. this night photography shit is the most gay-man thing ever and I enjoy it.#I was doing it before my last boyfriend but he got me even more into it.#anyway bye I'm gonna go shower and then eat food. I've been hungrier more recently.#between the meds and the hrt my appetite is bigger and I'm gaining weight with the hrt fat redistribution which is cool and good.#I want to be a healthy weight and maybe even a lil chonky? we'll see we'll see.
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"makotolookinass"
the intersection of nu: carnival and free! fans that are all here because of our favorite green haired hunks (himbos?) is so funny
but it kinda makes sense given that both nu: carnival and free! are both at their core about caring about the people closest to you and prevailing internal struggles
dang , anonn, you really cut thru all the glamours of distraction
in brief contrast, i feel like a simple creature. one who was dragged into the intersection simply because i saw some dudes with Unlikely Physiques
#feesh answer#i mean... it started out that way for most of us huh?#then they heckimfk. GOT US#with the char development and lasting bonds an whatevr#it's abou t thte grioup dynamics and how they're all little freaks but they're little freaks who can rely on each other#and bring each other the Happiness#i say Unlikely Physiques because WHAT HIGHSHOOLCHOLERS HAVE BODIES LIKE THAT. WOSHOMST????#makes me think back to that thing i saw. which was probably a post on tumblr#where ppl had the same reaction and someone went ☝ actuallY! it's not out of the realm of possibility to have well-trained swimmers#at this age. lookin like this!! for example. look at xyz(figures and pictures of Likely Physiques under Conditions)#me squinting at makoto's back the entire time like.....i still find it difficult to believe.#i WANT to believe. but i find it difficult to do so. high schoolers the size of a car...#i think i got into a debate with a friend over Free! wives AHAHA#they were big on Rin and i was like girl i aint about that attitude . emotional constipation. i'm gonna hang out with Tall Mom#then they offered sousuke as a counter#and i repeated myself like GIRL I JUST SAID I WAS NOT ABOUT THAT EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. I AM GOING WITH THE (EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE) TALL MOM#and they went on about how makoto was insufferably boring compared to rin and sousuke#and i shrugged because we EVIDENTLY are looking for different traits in our wives. what? emotional stability is boring now??!?!#tho... makoto emotional stability is questionable. i didn't follow the series after the 1st season so i prob missed out on a lot#the mans got a yandere streak and probably other issues. but i didn't get as deep into free! as i did with nuca#so...lemme just enjoy my green swimming wife at a superficial level... ok [rin and sousuke] friend?#we shook hands in camaraderie at the end. we may wife Different Tropes but the world needs All Types#idk i guess the tropes wormed their way into my brain#i saw those droopy anime eyes with the smile and the green theme and concluded 'i am safe here'#stupid cartoon patterns crafting schema all up in my psychology
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RAMMSTEIN • 12.05.24 • LETŇANY AIRPORT, PRAGUE
#it's been 4 weeks now#and i'm still not done reminding myself (through my sh*tty videos and photos) of how amazing it was#once again i say that it was hands down the best and most epic concert i've ever been to#and i don't think any other concert will ever top this one#with maybe the exception of another rammstein concert i guess#i never did so much headbanging and dancing and jumping around at a concert before#it felt soooo good to let go like that#I DESPERATELY NEED TO SEE THEM AGAIN#but this time in the company of someone who's actually gonna enjoy the concert as well#because my colleague who was actually the one who took me there with her didn't look thrilled at all#don't know where i'm supposed to find such a person tho#i don't have many friends#and those that i have don't like rammstein#rammstein#ramms+ein#europe stadium tour 2024#filetmignon talks
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I've been thinkin' too many thoughts about the clones recently...anyways...
If it had never been acknowledged in universe…I think I might’ve been able to ignore how unbelievably fucked up the whole clone army concept is
I might’ve been able to accept it as just a convenient plot point for the republic to have an army to use
That’s what most stories do…they use a faceless army of “disposable” soldiers so that viewers don’t get too upset when so many die in battles
It’s what keeps those stories from feeling too dark
Hell, the stormtroopers from the OT are one of the most famous examples of that
But the thing is…it is acknowledged in universe
Multiple characters on multiple occasions have pointed the fucked-up-ness of it all
Even Obi-Wan in the AOTC novel is kinda horrified at the concept when he sees the clones for the first time
And it’s soooo hard to look past that
Especially with the jedi…I find it so hard to accept that the jedi are able to just ignore and accept it once the army proves to be useful
And like, yeah, when I look at star wars as a whole I understand that a lot of inconsistencies like this are just an inevitability with massive franchises
But it gets super frustrating to hold onto my suspension of disbelief capabilities when these problems are literally mentioned to and acknowledged by the jedi
Especially because I mostly love the jedi
#I just have to remember that ‘just because’ is a perfectly okay reason for stuff in fiction#that not every thing that happens can be completely rational or else there wouldn’t be a story#If I don’t then I’ll constantly be getting in my own way#stopping myself from enjoying things that are supposed to be fun#Anyways I’m gonna go back to watching tcw now#and gaslight myself into believing that the clones have rights so I can keep supporting the jedi :)#but like seriously#millions of SENTIENT HUMAN BEINGS being engineered and grown in a lab#with the specific purpose of fighting in a war that they have absolutely ZERO say in#and the reason they’re seen as better than the NON SENTIENT droids is because they can think creatively#aka THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE THEIR OWN MINDS AND THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS#and they literally have no choice but to fight in this war#not okay#at all#okay I'm gonna stop now or I'll lose my mind#btw I know the jedi weren't responsible for all that#but for the most part they were okay with and/or ignored that whole clones have no autonomy thing#:/#star wars#sw the clone wars#the clone wars#sw clones#sw gar#kamino#aotc#attack of the clones#obi wan kenobi#stormtroopers#clone troopers#jedi
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anyone else hate long distance relationships and lack of consistent feelings on their part
#this is gonna be long in the tags sorry#and for the record. everything im going to say in here is on Me and not on my girlfriend and i know the solution is TALK TO HER#but can i have a minute to just. say it#okay. so im long distance with my girlfriend and we've been long distance (5hrs drive) the whole time#we've been together almost 9 months and in that time we've seen each other 4 times.#once in may once for halloween once for thanksgiving and today/yesterday for NYE#the longest trip of any of these was a tuesday night- sunday morning. so like. four full days of being together#but interspersed with family bc it was thanksgiving#okay. so just setting the stage#i love hanging out. i love hanging out on the couch or doing random shit like walkin around a town or grocery shopping with her#like i love being introduced to her friends and family as her partner and doing likewise to my people#like i love hanging out with her forever#but like. UGH my issue is like. any. kind of intimacy beyond literally like cuddling and holding hands?#like lack of consistency on my part. like okay sometimes kissing is fine and we're talking like a peck on the lips and then sometimes#im like. no i dont. want to do this. and obviously im not being Forced to if i asked her to not she would respect that!!#i like the Idea of kissing and sometimes i do enjoy a little peck but sometimes im like not. into it.#and then like. we've been together for a while we've Talked about sex and stuff but we have not had it yet. haven't gotten anywhere close#to it yet#like i like the idea of having sex with her but if i was faced with the reality of that right now i would freak out like just get. really#stressed? panic??? and there's no trauma in my past. i haven't ever had any kind of sex i have no trauma associated#with anything. like i would just. freak out a little. and we wouldn't have sex and that would be fine but. idk.#i dunno if i'm like. ace or something or it's just still too New of a relationship to do that? because despite being togehter for 9 months#when you've had literally less than two weeks of full days together in that time#it feels really fuckin new#i dunno man.#i'm just afraid that im just. idk not built for a relationship.#she was drunk and wanted to snuggle when we went to sleep last night and it stressed me out because i hate not being able to move when#im asleep. i told her this she gave me my room that was fine. but like man. i am never gonna want to snuggle like that#i still dont love kissing#like. for my house. okay i have very specific ideas of what i want my space to look like and feel like
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