#so i'm filling the void

[aestheticitii]

thinking about crossdresser mark who's always pretended to be a man, even back in bern, because her parents drilled it into her head that it's Not Safe and it was their condition for her leaving (and they never learned she joined the military and deserted it) so she never talks because her voice is really soft and lyn is the first person she can talk to

and they joke about how sain and florina's behavior would change if they knew she was actually a gIrl all along

and eliwood actually finds out before hector, at the end of the war, because lyn invites mark to stay at caelin for a bit before she leaves to wander again and he runs into this brunette who happens to be lyn's lady in waiting, while he's visiting his lover, and marceline just Knows Things

like she'll randomly pop up, leave him a gift, and attribute it to lyn, but when he talks to lyn, she's always desperately trying to pretend that she actually did ask the woman do it because mark is bad about filling her in on this stuff

and once, lyn slips up and calls her mark instead marceline. eliwood puts it together after that, not believing her excuse that they're siblings, so the next time mark tries to do something for him, he quietly tells her he knows and before he can continue, she just sits down next to him with a soft "hi" and then just spills her background to him

but hector only learns two years later when a strange woman shows up at his doorstep, asking to see lyn because she and eliwood are staying at hector's for a bit, and he's strolling around the castle, taking a break, when he sees this.

so he goes up and tries to gauge if she's actually lyn's friend.

but this woman latches onto his arm and starts babbling a mile a minute about lyn and how she heard about the miscarriage and how this isn't exactly the first time she's missed out on something important that is bad and not good, and she ran over as soon as she heard but what does she even say and is lyn okay?? is eliwood okay??

hector's like, "who the hell is this?"

and he subtly tries to figure out who she is because she seems to know lyn and actually seems to know him too because once she catches her breath, she starts quizzing him on how he's been doing after uther's death and managing ostia and have you been eating okay—you haven't gone fighting recently, have you?

which is a weird thing to ask unless she knows about armads and she's subtly trying to ask if he's going to die soon, because most people would just ask if he's been sick since he has family history of dying young

but for the life of him, he can't recall her until he looks at her hair and realizes it's the same shade as mark's and then it just...slips from him

"mark?"

and she's like, "huh?"

so he's about to backpeddle, apologize, and explain he doesn't know who she is, until she's like "oops, i forgot to tell you. actually, i'm a girl. my real name is marceline"

which he sort of remembers as lyn's lady in waiting who never showed to the wedding and he remembers grumbling about it to mark but she was all weird about it

and he's like "oh"

his ears are beet red and she's not looking at him so for the guards who can't hear what's being said, but clearly see a woman clinging onto their lord and him being receptive to holding her hand afterwards because she's scared about lyn and he's dragging her to the grieving couple but the guards don't know that

and that is a story that's passed down to a young lilina after being modified to cut out the parts about her mom being the tactician that two countries nearly went to war over, who was said to have simply disappeared afterwards—about how her parents reunited and their love story started

and the parts about how she was actually that person are something lilina only discovers after she returns to ostia and she's going through her dad's stuff, and she finds her mom's old journals

after the parts she knows, like being saved by aunt lyn, there are little notes about like, klein's parents and his brother and sue's dad and fir's parents and igrene's dad and even about igrene! and notes about tactics and how she just wants everyone survive, but especially aunt lyn

and then there's this little passage about her dad where her mom's like "idk man, i shouldn't feel this way, but i kind of felt hurt that he told me i could leave. i mean, i can't compare to eliwood and he'd definitely tell lyn that, but it still sucks but i guess it's nice he acknowledges me"

and then she gets to like, the fifth volume and her mom's like "yeah, so i decided living as a woman is easier than having to put up with people wanting me to work for them when i don't want to and the only reason i helped eliwood was because he helped lyn and lyn's my bestie"

lilina puts together that her mom was actually famous and when she visits roy, she asks his dad about it, which he confirms.

and it's just something that's nagged at me a lot, like lilina realizing there was a whole other side to her mom she never knew about and there's no way for her to talk to her about it because her mom died to an illness a few years ago

(until she gets to askr, then she goes after her mom so hard that hector briefly gets worried that she might have a thing for "mark" and tries to dissuade her from it.

so lilina has to explain to her dad that she's just curious about "him" because she never met "him" and it sounds like "he" was a good friend of his

the effort to make it seem like they're unrelated becomes a moot point because somehow, little lilina stumbles across mark without a hood, maybe when she's bathing and it's the first time little lilina has seen her because usually, her dad doesn't let her take baths this late at night, and she's like "that's mommy! mommy's here." and she runs around the place telling everyone about her mommy

and older hector is profusely apologetic about it once he hears about this

eliwood frequently reminds him of the fact he once thought his daughter had a crush on her mom because it's lowkey funny. lyn doesn't start it, not because she doesn't think it's hilarious, but because it's way easier to laugh if her hubby's the one doing the teasing, but she does egg eliwood on)

[egophiliac]

once again, don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12

(eventually I will get back to being less scribbly, whoops)

[chalkrub]

thank you for a great art fight! here's some of my final attacks. had a blast, already missing it - see you next year!

[writeshite]

“I can't give you a castle,” you remind Rhaenyra, “or wealth, or expensive dresses. I doubt I can give you more than the flowers I pick along the grounds.”

Rhaenyra smiles a little bumping her head softly against yours, “You give me loyalty; it is a rare enough commodity.”

“But how far will loyalty get me? I can't compete with the Lannisters or Tyrells or Freys.” You say, and she places her hand on your cheek in response.

“If I wanted any of them I would have them,” Rhaenyra huffs, “I want you, that's why I have you.” She affirms, pulling you in for a kiss.

[akkivee]

still kinda not over ichiro taking a bite out of his hamburger in the leaders bonus hypster track and going 'it's so good!! it tastes really meaty!!' lmao

[copper-sands]

ko-fi link: https://ko-fi.com/copper_sands

hi again, all! i feel like an update on the situation is long overdue, but i've been waiting for something actually new and meaningful to happen to make a separate post. so, yeah, making it now.

first things first, i want to extend my deepest thanks to everyone who's contributed so far, even a little. you guys have been a huge, huge help throughout this journey so far, especially given that it's only been 8 days and i've had to almost double the goal due to extra fees that had only revealed themselves partway through. special thanks to @elkkiel and @inv3ga for generously setting up ways to help drive donations and offering their art in return - if you've donated so far or are planning to and would like some genuinely awesome stuff, feel free to reach out to either (or both?) and check out what they have to offer in return for your proof of donation :"3 once again, i appreciate it so very much, it's really sweet what they have done

right, now onto the news. there's not that much to say, but it's all relevant, so let's just get to it.

first of all, i finally have a date for the visa application appointment - February 19th, about 3 weeks from now. most of the necessary fees are covered, save for the ones that will be decided on the spot at the visa center, and i don't feel comfortable asking for an amount of money i don't know. i will keep you all posted on whether or not i get the visa, and if i don't, i'll unfortunately only be able to refund up to about $100 total in donations, as i've had to pay $600 instead of the original $300 in visa fees due to family shenanigans. hopefully nothing happens that will warrant this in the first place, though. please keep your fingers crossed for me :'3

secondly, i finally have commissions open! this is just one of the types of commissions right now - digital paintings - and i am planning to open more types of commissions, namely custom dice sets, in the near future. i only have 5 slots open for now, but they are offered at a discount - once they're filled, i will open more at the full price (number of slots pending). you can learn more & order one for yourself here: https://ko-fi.com/copper_sands/commissions

lastly, i just wanna say... again, the support so far has been fucking incredible, especially for just how long this has been going & how much time there's still left, but that's the thing - this isn't urgent or life-threatening for me. if this doesn't end up happening, sure, i'll be heartbroken, but i will live and be okay at the end of it all. i would like to direct your attention to Sera's fundraiser - she needs urgent access to complicated medical treatment, and on top of it all her housing situation is threatened. i don't know all the details, but it is so much more serious than my situation could ever be, and i want to urge you to donate. i'll contribute too, as soon as i'm able.

thank you all so much - for reading, contributing, spreading the word. love you all 💗💗💗

[welcometogrouchland]

Honestly we see a bit of it in the epilogue (what with his hair being less ashy, his eye bags being gone, etc) but Hunter probably got such a glow-up after moving in with Darius. Like he'd already been doing better at Camila's house than he'd been at the castle (eating more, sleeping more, etc) but Darius is a full on spa girlie. He's taking Hunter with him to get a facial and the kid exits that place GLOWING. Without the dead bird magic this time. His stress induced acne? Gone. His eye bags? Gone. His scars? No longer dry and itchy.

Darius buys him expensive shampoo and conditioner to use (he'd been using shower gel on his hair back at Camila's house. She didn't know. When Willow tries to run her hands through it, it crunches slightly. He thinks this is normal) and honestly? The one good thing he got from Caleb was the Wittebane Gorgeous Hair Genes. His stupid little mullet flows in the wind.

When Hunter first moves in, he's grown out of most of his human realm clothes and there's very few shops/tailors open at the time, so he's borrowing all of Darius' old stuff which, while admittedly vintage, is still wayyy more classy than anything Hunter would've picked for himself. Once he has alternate options he definitely reverts back to his personal sense of style (and if he gets the a-okay from Darius he modifies the old clothes with personal bits of patchwork and embroidery) but there's a period of six months after WaD where Hunter is just consistently the best dressed of the hexsquad at any given moment. Gus and Amity are QUAKING in their boots

[why-the-heck-not]

a productive all-nighter starts by making a clear to do list & getting to work spending an hour or so searching for the music that hits the vibe just right

[dxxtruction]

Personally, I think the “That’s how it happened right? You standing in my blood, stroking my hair?” Was how it happened. Louis is just super detached from that headspace he was in before, and validly wanting not to have it be true that he didn’t, at one time, care about Claudia being gone, would be reasonable, and in character. Blaming Armand, partly, for why things got to be like that is correct. Though in this instance is misdirected to include things Armand did not in fact do to get it to be like that, but had, very much, done in a recent unrelated incident. He's essentially combining two events together to get it to align with his current set of beliefs. (Surely everyone's looked back on a situation before and saw it differently given time to think or feel differently about it. Get differing information, and so on. The show is directing us to that a lot, if not making it one of its major themes.)

But I say this is probably, almost definitely, the case, because Louis story beats need to be told accurately lest it take away from his character arc, as well his whole character and its complexity. Obstructing from his, very powerful, highly emotionally driven, story in a way that's frankly offensive. Armand having total and complete control over it, is bullshit. While, he does this though, to himself. Does a character armor on himself to get away from his own flaws, and role, in how things came about. Not intentionally, because it is emotional, and a lot of times just a result of blocking out that trauma. But this is something he’s seen doing often - Not remembering situations in the light in which they’re most accurate, and in so doing painting himself better sometimes, and others worse. Straight up forgetting, or overlooking information, and so never reevaluating why certain things came about until this moment. Not accurately applying the emotions of then, to the way he feels about it now, because he can't, or couldn't previously, actually remember it in that way. As he doesn't connect to those feelings, even those memories. His feelings in a lot of ways keep clouding his memories and his judgments of them.

Daniel gets at this too, where he brings up the tapes, and how Louis was basically just raving the whole time, and this story all happened differently then. It's the same story beats, yes, but it's all so emotionally different to the point where information gets completely changed around, even looked at like it's forcefully constructed to be a certain way, and not actually, therefore, accurate. Louis always tells an emotional story, and that’s important. It places him in time and continuum, in his own history as opposed to outside of it. That’s like, I think a history that can’t be overlooked, even if it's a history that's subject to change. And shouldn't history be? Shouldn't we look back on events that took place in our lives differently? Isn't that how any society grows? And why shouldn't Louis judgments be clouded by his emotions when that's the reason for most any other characters actions? Isn't that the story being told here?

[tardis--dreams]

It's been over 2 years and i still haven't found a drama that captivates me with the intensity of beyond evil or the devil judge. I'm beginning to accept that nothing's ever gonna come close to making me feel this way ever again

[hephaestuscrew]

Can't believe I accidentally abandoned Unwell podcast for nearly two years for no reason. I'm finally catching up with it and I'm feeling some kind of way about ghosts that don't know they are ghosts, and ghosts that aren't exactly ghosts at all, and ghosts that are previous versions of you, and towns that are alive and complicated, and houses that shift and change and become unfamiliar in the same way a person's own mind can, and family, and tradition, and history, and memory, and community, and grief...

[jils-things]

by the lighthouse.

dividers

[hidedino]

since fit has hinted at leaving the main island/taking a break (judging by his insistence to see ramón today before everything happens), i'm really hoping that he'll at least leave something for pac, even if it's just a verbal message to rely to him, because i'm not sure how i'd cope with pac coming back and having no idea where fit had disappeared to, walking around the island asking everybody and nobody being able to supply any information.

i mean, it is going to be interesting to see this kind of situation from pac's point of view since fit has been subjected to it multiple times at different levels of his and pac's relationship dynamic. but that doesn't mean i'm going to be able to cope with it, especially if it lasts longer than just a few days.

[creativenicocorner]

More sketchy miscellaneous Glow Worms doodles!

[akkivee]

ghost ichiro who is very interested in his brand of world domination with kuukou and ghost kuukou who is confused by the affection and as any kuukou does when uncertain, they withdraw LOL

[boxwinebaddie]

uncle neen!!! welcome back omg i was so sad to see u disappear </3 hyh !!! i had a question i asked last time but i was wondering since ur rewriting ur fics, are u planning on posting them on tumblr? or on ao3? pls be kind to urself too<33

good MORNING, lovie!!!!~ <3 c':

( or whatever time it is, where you are at the moment! )

i'm very excited to announce that you are my very FIRST new ask message on my brand new blog!

( teri is my first follower; ly ter. <33 o//3//o )

***long overdue UN ramble-bramble under the cut. xx

i /do/ miss my six hundred bajillion ask memes and am mourning the loss of all my online creations and great joys as a deranged southpark fanfiction author and the legacy i built with my tiny, gay weird hands

( i will go into it another time, but i had a very, very frightening bipolar episode surrounding my blog and my role on here as a writer, friend and mentor to you all, deleted all my things in a horrible panic, was able to recover them...but in the -- what i hope is the *very last* -- after shock of my episode...i got very scared, very sad and deleted both my dearly treasured and beloved, beautifully cult followed by many of you and other ghosts of sp style fanatics past ao3 account**

**( with peppermint on it at 13k likes which...oh my god, please be gentle with me, that was a very, very hard blow and rough realization for me and i am sorry to everyone who loved that fanfiction and wanted to go back and read it for posperity and personal comfort...i miss her too; rest in peace, pep, my first born. my sweet girl. </3 )

...and most tragically of all, i deleted my tumblr blog, with over one hundred pages of carefully curated content surrounding my sp aus, your lovely, insightful and thoughtful questions and inquiries, also typed with your tiny, weird gay hands answered, in turn, with mine, torched the ev. of those memories in the final blast and lost my window into your world through that medium...

...which is literally heartbreaking to me, because more than even my silly fanfictions or my blog, what i loved to do, was talk to all of you and read your wonderful messages each day and remind myself of why i should be here and continue to do what i do. </333 :'''c

BUT! my darlings, as ravenstan would say, 'it's always darkest before crimson dawn', for the very first time in several weeks ( which, i fear, and i was, full of fear and horrible self loathing/dread every waking and nightmarish moment ), last night, i cried for a very, very, very, long time, held myself together in the broken places -- told myself and the girl i was that i loved her and i was going to take care of us and be brave -- and broke the fever ( a little off key like jersey kyle, but very lovely nonetheless; love you tone deaf king. x my sboyf. )

today, i woke up this morning and slept...PEACEFULLY and woke up PERFECTLY HAPPY AND RESTED...

AND SMILED. QUITE. WIDE!!!!~ :D

and that is a baby step, but it is a step in the right direction and also almost wanted to make me weep like a baby again because i literally have not felt happy or like i do not hate myself for like, i shit you not, over like 15-20 days...it was frightening and fucking horrible! SLAY!

nevertheless ( or the most, finally ) i am excited to welcome in a new era/year of change on my blog and within myself; which is an era of peppermint flavored 'hope i'm healing' in a delicious rem(ember) font.

unfortunately, because i nuked my ao3 account, i do not currently one atm, but am in the process of recovering it.

( i'm not condoning any kind of rude/uncivilized behavior bc people are allowed to do anything they want -- but i'd really like to get my user back and would appreciate it a lot if no one used it to create another ao3 account just because it would be confusing for my readers and disheartening to me to not be boxwinebaddie anymore. )

until then, i will be writing/drafting rem(ember) in my messy google docs, am storyboarding everything to the best of my ability ( which is not perfect, but nothing is -- except stan and kyle to each other -- but god loves a trier, which is why he hates me: i prefer hell where it's drier -- that way my girlfail guylinea will not run. xx )

KALE SEITAN! ;)

posting little snippets of it on here for all of you, probably put it here on my tumblr and post it up to ao3 if i can regain my account/one in general ( i am a little worried that because of how long it's been, the loss of all my followers and, what i assume, is a decreased public or tiktok generated interest in sp, it will do poorly; rip </3 )

-- but the point is...that i want to start doing stuff for myself now. and not because i think i should or create unnecessary stress/sadness surrounding my strength or weakness as a writer or person ( or like, beat the living shit out of myself every single day anymore )...

...so i am writing it slowly, carefully, synthesizing all the info i gathered from over a year of answering your questions ( which helped me develop my sp au styles and their worlds into the lovely, seemingly breathing paper machslayed things they are now ), am going to write the fanfiction i always/wanted/ to write ( i’ve always wanted to rewrite RM, but was so busy and overwhelmed with my blog/my irl stuff that i couldn't )

and i'm calling it...

<3

p.s. ( i love you ): i am going to give my grandmother a copy of the first chapter of peppermint for christmas because i wanted to do something special/sentimental for her and secretly push the gay middle school style agenda ( she is actually very woke and thought my uncle might be gay for a while when he was younger, haha xx ), but i want to give them different names, so that on the off chance it gets passed off to my mom, my dad or manages to travel by world of mouth ( my grandma has a tendency to gab, but i love her a lot ) that it can't specifically be traced back to my dead ao3 or my blog.

so if any one has any ideas for silly interesting names i could give my sons, names for other characters or south park in gen. hit me up! <33

thank you for your interest in my work -- and in me, in general. i love you all dearly, i hope you heal ( i know you will ) and smile, pendejos because got a lot coming up on that crimson dawn and a lot of crazy shit coming down on that *jersey i won't say i'm in luh megara vc*

~SCHARLET sLUt~

cheers! mazel! ;) xx

-uncle nina, in her healing era <3