#so i’ve just been medicating and drinking lots of water and resting trying to kick it

[endfght]

lots of stuff popped up over the last week/s so sorry for goin mia again</3

[danceswithsporks]

On the 9th day of Batchmas I have to all of yooouuu!!!

Siiiiickkknnneesss!!

Alrighty so my entire house has come down with the flu so writing has been difficult. But I figured I’d try just a small ficlet of some of our friends being sick. Hopefully it’s coherent and I hope y’all like it!!

Now this will take place in the universe I’ve built for my fic A Star Above the Rest! Some may be sneak peaks at future events, little glimpses into past events, or things I wanted to do but couldn’t work into the story! I hope you all enjoy them and Happy Holidays!

“It’s a simple case of the flu. Give her a week and she’ll be back to normal.” Kix sighed as he closed his medic bag. Standing he passed Echo a few stims of medication. “Give her these every 5 or so hours to help with symptoms, make sure she’s drinking fluids and eating.”

An exhausted cough came from Zirena as she watched Kix speak to Echo. She barely heard any of it though, everything sounded like rushing water and her head felt heavy. “Thank you, Kix.” She reached a limp hand up to him and hummed when he took it.

Kix dropped the medic personality and instead looked at her as a friend. “You need to stop pushing yourself so hard, Zee.”

Zirena whined softly. He’d given her the same look the last time she’d gotten sick. “Somuch” a yawn came from her as she snuggled into the bed. “To do.” Her eyes began to droop.

A sigh came from the medic as he pulled the blanket up and tucked her in. “That first dose is kicking in, she’ll probably fall asleep for a while.”

“Mmm, no I won’t.” Another yawn came from her with eyes closed. Within moments she was asleep.

“Sure, Commander.” Kix pulled a thermometer patch from his pocket and placed it on her neck. “If she spikes a fever, this’ll work to bring it down. But you should still uncover her and get her a cool rag.”

Tech nodded as he wrote the instructions down before beginning to do his own research. “We’ll keep you updated on how she’s feeling.”

Kix nodded and began to leave the Marauder that was currently parked in one of the hangars of the Resolute. “I’ll let you know when her stateroom is ready and the halls are cleared for her to be moved. You boys will have to quarantine with her until we’re sure you’re not sick as well. Can’t have an outbreak on the ship.”

“Surely we can’t catch it? Aren’t we created with super immune systems?” Crosshair would be damned if he had to be holed up with a bunch of suck clones and a Jedi.

“You’d think so, but the flu is always mutating and changing. At some point our immune systems will only be able to fight off so much.” After a moment of thought he pulled out his communicator and began to try and connect the call.

“Who are you calling?” Echo placed the stims on the bed above Zirena.

“Gotta let the Captain know she’s sick and in quarantine until further notice. Last thing we need is for him to go looking for her and get sick as well.” General Skywalker and Ahsoka were currently out on a mission. Rex was the one in charge. If he went down as well, that would leave the ship in someone like Five's hands. A thought that made him shiver.

“How bad is it, Kix?” The voice of the Captain crackled through the connection. Even on the ship it could be spotty. Zirena had contacted him to tell him that she wasn’t feeling well. Now he’d been waiting for an update.

“Sorry to tell ya, but it’s the flu. We’ll need to follow proper protocols.” A straight route to her room would need to be set up. The Marauder would need to be disinfected to the extreme. A lot would need to happen quickly.

Well that was something he didn’t want to hear. Do what you need to do.” Was all he could say. So much for spending time with her. “What about the Batch? Are they sick?”

“Thankfully no. But I think it best to quarantine them as well. Just to be on the safe side.” He raised an eyebrow to Crosshair who grumbled angrily.

“Makes sense. Let’s go ahead and get the other stateroom set up for them.” With Zirena already sick it wouldn’t make sense to quarantine them all together. “We can set the hall up for them to help take care of her, seeing as she got sick with them.”

“Sorry.” Was echoed by Echo and Wrecker.

“At least Omega was here so she’s safe.” Rex looked over his shoulder at the young clone in question. She was currently chasing BD around the track.

“My thoughts exactly. I’ll get everything set up, Sir.”

-*-

When Zirena finally came to, she easily recognized the new location. Her stateroom on the Resolute. A familiar and happy place for her. A noise came at the end of the bed and she smiled at BD. “Hey, Bud.” The little droid ran over to her and nuzzled into her chest. Pleased that she was awake.

“Glad to see you’re awake, Zee.” Echo smiled at his friend, already typing a message to Rex that she was awake.

“Echo, what are you doing here? You’re gonna get sick.” She sat up slowly, her head spinning but thankfully not as heavy feeling.

Echo stood up and brought a glass of water to her. “We'll, according to Kix. I’m the only one who can’t get sick. Seems this ‘upgrade’” he made finger quotations at the word. “Makes it so that I can’t get sick.” One of the few benefits of it.

Zirena hummed at the water before drinking it all in one go. The cold water felt so good on her throat. “Well that’s lucky. How are the others?” They must have been placed in a different room.

“Well…the only one showing symptoms so far is Cross. So…he’s pretty peeved.” A smirk played at the clones lips as he took the now empty glass. “You should see him. He’s all gunked up with snot pouring out of his nose and he’s all swollen and puffy. Pretty funny really.”

“Tell Wrecker to send me a picture.” Zirena chuckled before sighing softly. The large window of her room was open and she could see the distant outline of some planet. She had zero clue where they were. But it was quiet and calm and for that she was happy.

“Will do.” Pulling one of the stims from his pocket he held it up to her. “Time for your next dose.” When Zirena made a face and tried to cover herself back up with the blanket, Echo laughed. “Come on. The faster you get better the faster you can see the Captain.” That did it. Zirenas head quickly poked out from the blanket before she offered her arm to him.

“Is he worried?” Last thing they needed was for him to be stressed while in control of the ship. She was honestly surprised he wasn’t already in the room.

“Very and before you ask.” He took her arm gently and injected the stim. “He already tried coming in. Took Kix threatening to leave the ship in Omegas care if he also got sick for Rex to finally give up.”

This time she laughed loudly before breaking into a coughing fit. Echo was fast to refill her water before rubbing her back. “He can be pretty determined when he wants to be.” Taking the water, she sipped it carefully. A few coughs still escaping her. “He can’t even come in with his helmet on?”

Echo shook his head quickly. “Sorry. He could potentially carry the germs on his armor and pass it along that way. Besides, we all know he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off you.”

Scoffing, Zirena wiped her nose quickly. “Oh yeah. Because I’m the image of beauty right now.” Blowing her nose, she made sure to loudly do it in order to accentuate her words.

BD whistled reassuringly. ‘ I think you look great!’ To her. Earning a pat on the head.

“Mmm, I think you’re required to say that. But thanks bud.” A grumble came from her stomach and she let out a happy sigh. “Finally. My stomach isn't doing flips anymore.” Pleadingly, she looked to Echo. Her big green orbs begging for food.

Chuckling, he raised his hand and scomp to her. “Ok ok, don’t need to even ask. Let me go check on the others then I’ll grab some soup for you.”

A bright smile came from Zirena as she fell back into the bed. “Thank you, Echo! You’re my favorite!”

Echo chuckled as he opened the door to her room. “I know.”

-*-

Crosshair grumbled in annoyance as a stim was placed in his arm. “How the hell am I the only one who got sick?”

Tech, Hunter and Wrecker stood on the opposite side of the room watching Echo administer the medicine. He’d informed them all of how Zirena was doing before moving onto the sniper.

“That’s a good question, Cross. How are you the only one who got sick?” Echo raised an eyebrow as he checked Cross’s temperature.

“One of the most obvious ways would be close contact with the Commander.” Tech looked over the top of his datapad. “Very close.”

A booming laugh came from Wrecker as he caught onto what was being said. “Oh! He was playing tonsil tag with her!”

Echo stifled a laugh as he passed Cross some water. There was no way that happened, right?

“As much as I’m sure she’d love the taste of a real man. That’s not what happened.” He knew exactly what happened and it pissed him off more.

Hunter raised an eyebrow as he crossed his arms. “So what happened?”

An annoyed sigh came from Cross before he blew his nose loudly. He felt like he’d been hit by a speeder…or ten. “Went to check on her and she sneezed in my face.”

Now that didn’t sound exactly like her. “Think ya may have missed a few details.”

“I might have made a comment about how crappy she looked.” She did. She looked completely run down with snot coming out of her nose. He wasn’t gonna lie to her.

The group collectively groaned loudly as they listened. Well of course she’d sneeze on him for something like that!

“Sorry, Cross. But you definitely deserved that.” One day the sniper would learn to stop being rude to Zirena. But it seemed that wouldn’t be anytime soon.

Cross coughed loudly before laying deeper into his bed. “Shut up.”

[thevirgodoll]

hi! i was wondering if you have any tips to stay organized and stay on task? i’ve been doing a short online course this year and have really struggled to ACTUALLY bring myself to do the work, as assignments and lessons are not under any time constraints i just don’t do it. i also have adhd so get bored or distracted easily. do you have any tips for me?

This is really close to me because I also have ADHD. I have both inattentive and hyperactive type. *As a result, this academic tip guide will be a guide for people with ADHD and not neurotypical people, without disability. There is a difference.*

I am doing online as well this semester.

1. I create a schedule. If I do not create a schedule, I will be unproductive the entire day. So, what will help you is to do things in orderly fashion.

For example, at 12p - I will do this assignment/watch this lecture. You have to dictate what time you’re doing everything. Then, you also have to block out technology distractions while you are working. 

-> Even if you’ve gotten halfway through the day with no schedule, write down or block off times on your digital calendar for what you are going to do at each time. ADHD is easier to tackle if you break things down into smaller tasks.

*Pro tip that I almost forgot: before you do anything, wear your day clothes. Don’t wear pajamas. Actually getting dressed or even doing hair/makeup changes things.

2. Download the Forest app after you have created your schedule. I consistently recommend this because it works in increasing productivity. It allows you to set it for however long you’re doing this task, say 30 minutes.

-> Why?: It will block all apps on your phone for (insert time here) to plant a tree, and if you leave the app your “tree” will die. Eventually, the more sessions you do, the more points you will gain to plant different plants, and eventually plant real trees around the world.

3. Have a list (& a planner) as well. Not only is the schedule creating structure, but the list creates even more structure so you know what you need to get done for the day. It also helps you not fall victim to the classic symptom of forgetting. Each day, you should write down what you WANT to get done and create your own times to look at lecture and assignments. Have goals for the day.

For example: complete assignment 2.

If you do not have expectations with yourself before the day begins, your ADHD will kind of take over and do something else. I have structure to my day. I set a timer to wake up at the same time. I take my ADHD medicine 90 minutes before my final wake up time, and I do my morning routine once it kicks in. Having the same routine helps.

-> Focus on your goals. Don’t be super harsh about the times.

-> Don’t overwhelm with how many things on to do list. Again, break it up into small tasks. For example, one part being: Wash dishes or fold laundry. It makes it less overwhelming to your brain and gives you a choice of which task. Typical non ADHD people just tell you to prioritize tasks but that doesn’t work for us. Do it in a random order and it gets the job done.

4. TAKE BREAKS! The other side to this is making sure that you give yourself adequate breaks.

*For hyperfocus, wait til your hyperfocus has started to wear off. Use it to your advantage for peak productivity. It is no joke.*

-> The misconception is that some people with ADHD are lazy and as a result, some ADHDers won’t take breaks. You can take a break. Healthy, long breaks do more for you long term.

-> Have a timer set. For example, after a 45 minute session or an hour session, I will take a break to do another task that has nothing to do with studying, like laundry, eating a snack, or stretching. Then after that task is done, I will go back to studying.

5. Have a workspace. Only do work at this space. I do schoolwork at my living room table and it is perfect. I do not study in my room because that is my sanctuary for relaxation and rest, not productivity. Make an effort to make the workspace clean, with your supplies - laptop, notebooks, pens, etc - readily available.

-> Once I get to my workspace, everything for the morning is already done. I’ve done my morning routine, so all there is left to do is hydrate while I study.

6. Recognize if you have adequate energy to do the task. Sometimes, with ADHD you may neglect your needs. If you are not getting enough rest, here are some tips:

•Bed should be for rest only.

•Blackout curtains

•Lavender essential oil, I have a diffuser but you can also put it on your pillow

•Background noise: pick what you want, lo fi music, rain sounds, binaural beats, singing bowls

•If all else fails, ADHD is often comorbid with other illnesses, meaning you could have a form of depression causing insomnia for example. This should be considered if you are having long term issues and symptoms.

7. Don’t overdo it. We are not neurotypical. Executive dysfunction is real - meaning our brains actually shut down when it perceives a task to be mundane.

-> You do not have to fit everything into one schedule for the sake of being “productive”. Each day should be what you know you can do, and there are different days to tackle different goals.

-> When you feel like you cannot continue, which is literally a symptom of ADHD, sit still for a few minutes.

8. Have a “What I Did Today” List. Because of how ADHD actually makes us feel, we don’t realize how much work we have put in. ADHD actually can be explained easily, we have about 2 dopamine workers showing up to work while most people are at maximum capacity. We are working overtime to do our best, even on medicine. So, acknowledging what we did today is good and encouraging, or at least reflecting in a journal.

9. Play music. It’s recommended to play study music without words because with ADHD we will submerge ourselves into the playlist of nostalgic 90s R&B. I recommend lo fi hip hop on YouTube, video game instrumentals, classical music, or jazz instrumentals. Whatever gets you going just do it!

General ADHD tips:

•Rewrite lecture notes and type the lecture notes.

•Color code with bright colors and pretty drawings or calligraphy

•Instead of telling yourself “I need to take notes” which usually leads to procrastination say “Rewrite lecture notes and emphasize main points” ... this is useful in your to do list but in everyday goals

•Generally try to get your assignments done ahead of time if there is structure to certain courses, if not, again, stick to the schedule. If you slip one day off your schedule then don’t beat yourself up. Breathe!!!

•Side effect of most ADHD meds is that you’re not hungry so buy easy things to eat like muscle milk or yogurt and granola or smoothies so you can sustain yourself

•Get a dry erase board to show what you need to do for the day and put it on the fridge with command strips

•To avoid forgetting things, put them at a table near the door where you leave your apartment/dorm/house.

•Don’t overthink the time it takes to get ready, often that’s why ADHDers are late. Better to be super early than late though - have a routine set so you know how long each task takes - for example “I know a shower takes me 15 mins, washing my face takes 60 seconds and a few more including sunscreen/moisturizer, etc...”

•In that same grain, set timers for going to the bathroom, showering, etc just in case you one day hyperfocus and push yourself too far

•Open the blinds!!!!

•Clean your room and tidy up your space. A cluttered space impacts your mental health in a really negative way. Your space reflects your mental state at times as well, so check in with yourself. Have a specific day where you know you’re going to clean, but ADHD sometimes gives us bursts of cleaning so take advantage of that as well.

•Anytime your water bottle empties refill it. Have your water bottle or mason jar next to your workspace, and drink 5-10 gulps. Seriously. ADHD depends a lot on hydration, especially if you are on medicine which naturally dehydrates you. If you do not stay hydrated, you’ll get that massive headache mid day and crash sooner. A lot of times, lack of productivity can be due to not drinking enough water.

•If you don’t take medication, then sometimes you may notice you love coffee, and that’s because it’s a stimulant. Too much of anything is not good, but balance it with water. If you’re going to use coffee to kinda “medicate” then do it close to when you’re going to be productive.

•Setting yourself up to do a task rather than envisioning the overwhelming act of doing the entire action. “Okay, lets just get up and get the first step down, such as opening the laptop or wetting the toothbrush.” Baby steps.

•Take advantage of accommodations! Your college more than likely has an Office of Disability Services. Also, email your professors...they’re actually just as stressed as you about classes being online.

•Remember that you’re already trying as hard as you can, so don’t listen to the narrative of “try harder”, “you’re *r word*”, “you’re cheating by using medication”, “just do it,” “it’s easy,” “what’s so hard about it?” or “you’re lazy”. Anyone telling you that, even yourself, is wrong. And DO NOT allow anyone to be ableist, even yourself.

•Validate yourself. Don’t let anyone to do the “I experience that too”/“I know what you mean”/“we ALL have trouble with this!” and they don’t have ADHD. No. It’s our experience, it’s valid, and unlike anything on the planet. If you’re reading this and you don’t have ADHD - no, you do not experience any of the things in my next bullet point.

•Don’t be hard on yourself if you stumble along the way getting this right. ADHD completely changes your executive functioning.

We see the task, but our brain blocks it.

We have something marked down as “important” but our brain tosses it out in the “trash”.

We watch an entire episode of a show, but our brain ignored the entire thing. Our brain picks and chooses what is stimulating, our brain changes our interests.

We have sensory overload, we have no dopamine, we have bursts of curiosity that cannot be contained (often inconvenient) and if interrupted, our brains cannot take it.

People often discount how many things ADHD actually changes because it’s widely misunderstood. I want to take the time to acknowledge that ADHD, formerly known as simply ADD, has different types: primarily inattentive, primarily hyperactive-impulsive, or combined which is what I have. So it’s not “hyper” and “relatable”. It is also not a buzzword to use to describe things. I must put stereotypes and misrepresentations of ADHD to rest.

It impacts us emotionally as well, which most people don’t know... such as rejection dysphoria — extreme sensitivity to being criticized to where our brains self destruct. Our brains don’t regulate emotions well.

ADHDers - do not fall victim to how everyone else operates and call yourself a failure. We have to work twice as hard and the results actually come out brilliant especially with our determination and imaginative ideas that are also seen in autistic individuals, honorable mention!

There’s good days and bad days. There’s literal changes in thinking that other people do not experience. We all collectively know wouldn’t be who we are without ADHD, but we all recognize the challenges. However, it makes me happy to see messages like this so that I can make a difference and hopefully help one person with ADHD, especially of color, at a time stop being so hard on themselves. 💗

[ivorysoapshavings]

So…… my hyperfixation on HxH is back and stronger than ever so I wrote this

TW: Hanahaki mentions of blood and corpses alcohol and minor cursing

Kurapika finally took the time to open his phone after a few months, he opened it to find eight voicemails and over twenty missed calls. He clicked on the voicemails and played the first one that was sent almost two months after Gon, Killua, Leorio, and him first split up.

~The other night dear as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms~

“Hey, Kurapika it’s Leorio, I just wanted to check up on you; you’ve seemed pretty busy lately hope you’re not overworking yourself. Anyway things aren’t too interesting here at medical school but I do have a few big tests I need to study for,” there was a pause for a long sigh, “guess I should get to doing that huh? Well, call me back when you get the chance. It's been a while,” there was a small pause before the line went dead.

~But when I awoke dear I was mistaken so I hung my head and cried~

“Hey, Kurapika, it's Leorio, just wanted to check up with you and see how you’re doing. Oh! something hilarious happened I think would have amused you. So me Gon and Killua were eating lunch together and Gon tried to do his impression of you and Killua was taking a drink at the same time, and Killua laughed so hard water came out of his nose,” There was a small chuckle at the other end of the phone, “you know they miss you too,” silence for a couple of seconds, “welp, you know my number call me back when you get the chance,”

~You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey~

“Hey, kurapika, it’s me again. Listen I know you’re probably just busy with your job and all but I can’t help but be a little worried. You’re not injured are you? You don’t even have to call, just send a message of something, anything,” there was a sharp inhale and a light sigh, “Well bye then,”

~You’ll never know dear how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away~

“Hey Kurapika it's Gon! I just wanted to see how you’re doing. I can tell Leorio is kinda worried about you. We’re also been doing a lot of things. Nothing dangerous of course!” Gon paused to nervously chuckle, “It's been fun though I wish you could be here with us. That would make it even more fun! Leorio said he told you about Killua spewing water out of his nose that was really funny but what I bet he didn’t tell you was that he choked on his food and almost fell out of his chair too,” There was a pause and some chittering in the background, “Welp, we gotta go hopefully you’ll call us soon but call Leorio first he really wants to hear from you,” there were a few crashing noises and someone yelled Leorios name then the line went dead.

~I’ll always love you and make you happy if you will only say the same~

“ Kurapika, it’s Killua you better call us back soon or I’m gonna -,” Killua was cut off by someone. Then came a lot of muffled yelling and a loud crash. “Got it ,” Gon yelled triumphantly, clearly having wrestled the phone from Killua’s hands “Sorry about that Kurapika. Killua just misses you too he just has an awful way of expressing it” Another crash and the line going dead.

~But if you leave me and love another you’ll regret it all some day~

“Hey Pika, It’s gotten boring here again. Gon and Killua ran off to god knows where, no heads up just left. I just really hope they stay safe, they’re always getting into the most trouble,” Leorio let out a small chuckle, something about his voice sounded different more weak “I really worry for them sometimes they’re just so young yet they’ve been through so much,” he paused letting out a sigh, “Ugh, I sound like a dad. Anyway hope you’re staying safe kicking ass out there. I really hope you’re at least listening to these and not just deleting them. But stay safe don’t overwork yourself, miss you,”

~You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey~

Kurapika noticed something strange as he was going to click on the next voicemail. They were usually sent two to three weeks apart from each other but this one was sent almost a month and a half after the last one. He brushed it off thinking Leorio was just busy, until he opened it.

~You’ll never know dear how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away~

“Hey Kurapika it’s Gon again, we just met up with Leorio again and he’s --,”

“Gon! He didn’t want us to tell,” Killua yelled interrupting him

“I know but it’s gotten worse and-,”

“We can ask him again when he wakes up! But its not out place to tell,”

“I know!” Gon yelled exasperated, “but what if we tell him and it’s to late,”

“That won't happen, so give me this an-,” the voicemail cut off there

~You told me once dear you really loved me and no one else could come between~

Kurapika sat in confusion at the voicemail ‘What did they mean it was getting worse? Was there something wrong with leorio? Why didn’t he want to tell me? Is it something bad? Deadly?’  Kurapika wondered to himself as he stood up and started to pace the room with worry. He needed answers so he clicked on the next voicemail which he noticed was also almost a month apart from the last one. About a week ago.

~But not you’ve left me and love another you’ll regret it all some day you have shattered all of my dreams~

“Here, you have to tell him,” It was Killua’s voice, “Or I'm gonna tell,”

“I can’t,” It was Leorio this time but his voice sounded even more different from his last message. It was less preppy and loud and more horse and mellow, “I don’t want him to worry about me. He’s probably doing something important and it’s not like hes gonna listen to this anyway,” Killua let out an angry huff

“Fine than, Kurapika hey it’s killua you better get your ass over here because-,”

“Wait! Killua I’ll tell him just give me the phone,” there were a few shuffling noises and then Leorio started speaking again, “Hey Pika you probably won't get this but I’ve got Hanahaki and it’s you I love you,”

~you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray~

Kurapika stopped pacing and dropped his phone in shock ‘Hanahaki’ ‘it’s you’ ‘I love you’ he was trying to make sense of it all Leorio loved him Leorio had Hanahaki because of him.

“How? How! God damn it!” he yelled to no one. He grabbed his phone off the floor and ran outside. Kurapika had run a couple of blocks before it hit him, he had no idea where to go. He knew they were in the same city but where? So he stopped and dialed Killuas number. It seemed like days as he waited for someone anyone to pick up the phone he gasped out of relief when someone did answer

“Kurapika yo-,” Gon had answered the phone he sounded like he was crying

“Just tell me where you are,” and after Gon had finished telling him the address Kurapika immediately hung up and started running again.

~you‘ll never know dear how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away~

“YOU’RE TOO LATE. YOU’RE TO LATE KURAPIKA. HE’S DEAD HE JUST FUCKING DIED,” Gon shouted furious as kurapika bolted through the door of their hotel room, when he saw what was infront of him he froze in shock from the sunflower petals scattered along the floor, Leorio dead in Killua’s arms, Gon swearing at him, “THIS. ALL. COULD. HAVE. BEEN. AVOIDED. IF YOU PICKED UP. THE FUCKING PHONE. FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE,” Gon kept shouting, shoving Kurapika in between each phrase. Kurapika just let it happen because he knew it was his fault Gon was right.

“Gon stop,” Killua said monotone, now behind Gon holding him back from shoving Kurapika even more. Gon didn’t even fight him; he just turned around and crumpled into Killua’s arms. “Kurapika say something please,” Killua begged. After Kurapika stayed silent and didn’t answer, Killua got up from under Gon and stood in front of Kurapika and slapped him across the face. This snapped something inside Kurapika and he fell down to his knees and started sobbing

“I killed him… I killed him.. I killed him I killed him I killed him I killed him,” Kurapika chanted, getting louder each time he uttered the phrase. He turned and looked at Leorio on the floor lifeless, blood stains all up his front, covered in petals, “I killed him,”

~In all my dreams dear you seem to leave me when I awake my poor heart pains~

The funeral came and It was Kurapika’s turn to come up and say his final farewell to Leorio. As he stepped up to the casket he saw Leorio pale and lifeless, no amount of makeup being able to make him look alive again. He was also wearing that stupid suit he always wore but now that he was seeing it for what was probably the last time it wasn’t really stupid. His casket was also scattered with sunflower petals which stared at Kurapika mocking him for not being there when his friends needed him most, for being so selfish and such a workaholic. He stepped down from his place in front of the casket and left the building not bothering to stay for the rest of the service. He didn’t think he could face Leorio’s family or Gon and Killua after being the reason that Leorio died. So he made his way back to the hotel room.

~So when you come back and make me happy I’ll forgive you dear I’ll take all the blame~

It had been a few hours since Kurapika left the funeral which meant it had probably ended by now. All he had done was sit there and think and ask questions that could now never be answered. After a few more minutes passed the door to the Hotel room opened, and Gon and Killua walked in.

“Oh you’re here,” Killua said, slightly annoyed.

“Kill stop now is not the time to be fighting,” Gon practically whispered, his voice being hoarse from crying.

“No! You had your chance to yell at him earlier, now it's my turn,” Killua retorted, slightly raising his voice.

“Listen Killua, I know it’s my fault. I’ll just leave,” Kurapika mumbled, getting up from his position on the floor.

“No! Do you know how much pain he was in? How much blood and flower petals he coughed up? We were the ones to keep him company and comfortable.

We were the ones who had to watch him slowly die as we desperately tried to contact you. We had to make him tell you about the disease because he didn’t want to worry you in case you were doing something important. And you didn’t even show up until weeks after we told you about it. And after all that you don’t even stay for his funeral ,” Killua was flushed and slightly out of breath after yelling and Kurapika stood in front of him, eyes now a beautiful yet frightening scarlet color.

“You know what? No. I don’t know how much pain he was in nor how much blood and petals he coughed up. And I know I should have been there when he needed me, how none of this would have happened if I had picked up the stupid fucking phone sooner, and I couldn’t stand being at the funeral because how could I ever face his family knowing I’m the reason he died,”

“Guys can we please stop this,” Gon begged from the sidelines, desperately tugging on Killua's hand. Killua just shook him off and stepped closer to Kurapika.

“Yeah because you’re a fucking coward , and it’s not like being here would’ve changed anything you probably didn’t even love him back,” this is what made Kurapika snap.

“How do you know what I feel, Killua Zoldyck! How? How would you ever know how I feel when you’re just an emotionless assassin,” Killua gave a sharp inhale

“Yeah, well because of your cowardice everyone you loved is dead, Leorio, your clan -,” before Killua could finish Gon stomped his foot on the ground cracking the ground underneath them.

“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! You guys are arguing like a bunch of babies and there's no point in insulting each other, it's not gonna bring Leorio back. So just.. Stop it!” Killua just huffed angrily and toed at the ground not looking at either of the two boys in the room. Kurapika just brushed past the two boys towards the door knocking into Killua on his way.

~You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey~

After Kurapika left the hotel room he wanted to find a way to distract him to relieve him of his hurt and stress and fast. So he found the nearest bar.

“Hey kid, aren't you a little young to be in here,” The man behind the bar asked Kurapika. In response all he did was place his hunter license on the bar and said

“something strong,” The bartender grunted in response and went to mix a few things together before pouring it in a cup and sliding it to Kurapika.

“You look like shit,” The bartender told Kurapika after what was probably his fifth drink.

“Yeah? Well, I just killed someone I loved,” Kurapika managed to slur out. The bartender just raised his eyebrows in question, “Hanahaki disease. You know the one where you spit up flowers? All because I couldn’t be bothered to pick up the fucking phone.” And without another he stood up, shoved his hunters license in his pocket, slammed the rest of his drink down and walked out of the bar. Now that he had nowhere to go, no one to return to, he was bound to endlessly wander till he couldn’t wander any longer.

~you’ll never know dear how much I love you please don’t take my sunshine away~

[rookie-ramsey]

Eclipse, Chapter 2 (Ethan X MC)

Description: Five years after the birth of their unexpected twins, Ethan and Olivia are expecting their third child. Even if they planned the pregnancy this time around, they learn that not everything goes as planned.

Rating: PG-13

Preview: Ethan’s hand brushed against her warm forehead. “You’re not nauseous from the pregnancy. Zoey and Jonah are both sick. They’re throwing up and have temperatures of 100 and 100.2.”

Olivia sighed. “I should’ve thought of that. The stomach bug is going through their school. They can sleep in here if they want to. You should sleep somewhere else so we don’t give you the plague.”

Ethan shook his head. “I haven’t had a stomach virus since I was ten.”

“Oh, yeah. You’re the Dr. Infallible Ramsey, immune to all human ailments. You have a golden immune system.”

Previous Chapter

On Sunday afternoon, Ethan read a book on the couch while the kids played and Olivia was out for lunch with Sienna. He looked up when he heard footsteps and saw Jonah and Zoey walking into the living room, both wearing their little lab coats and carrying their toy doctor’s kit.

“Daddy, can you play with us?”

Ethan set his book aside and nodded. “Sure.”

“What are your symptoms, Daddy?” Zoey grabbed a stethoscope, one of Ethan’s old ones, and knelt next to him on the couch. She touched the stethoscope to his chest and listened.

Playing along, Ethan pressed his lips in thought. “I have a terrible headache. Can you take care of it?”

“Yep! Jonah, get the Band-Aids!”

Jonah grabbed a box of bandages from their bag. “Got em!”

Zoey dug a Cookie Monster Band-Aid out of the box and unwrapped it. She stuck it to Ethan’s forehead and nodded in approval. “Okay. We’re done with you.”

Ethan feigned a frown. “A Band-Aid for a headache? Don’t you think you should be more thorough?”

“It’s a Cookie Monster Band-Aid,” Zoey supplied, shaking her head as she put the package back in their bag.

Jonah wrote some numbers on a piece of construction paper. With a mischievous smile, he handed it to his father. “Here’s your bill! That’s gonna be two hundred eleven dollars and… eight cents.”

“Did you even try to bill my insurance?”

“We don’t do that here!”

Ethan arched a brow. “I think this clinic is corrupt. I come in with a severe headache and I don’t even get an MRI?”

“Nope,” Jonah responded, trying to contain a laugh.

“Hmm. Why should I pay this bill?”

Zoey shrugged. “Okay, then. If you don’t pay, you can’t keep the Band-Aid.” With a giggle, she peeled the bandage off his forehead and tossed it aside.

“I think I’d like to see your medical licenses.”

Jonah shook his head. “I lost mine!”

“And you’re still practicing?”

“I’m just the bill person now.” Jonah shrugged. “I get to be the doctor next.”

Zoey handed him another sheet of construction paper with her name scrawled on it. “See? It says Doctor Zoey Ramsey on it!”

“Hmm. I still think this is medical negligence.”

Both kids laughed. Jonah took the stethoscope from his sister and leaned against Ethan’s knee. “Alright, I’m the doctor now. Make up a new sickness.”

When the front door opened, the twins looked up and waved. “Hi, Mommy!”

“Hi there. What’s going on in here?”

Jonah held up their doctor’s kit. “Medical negligence!”

“You can’t have a fun Sunday afternoon without that.”

“How was your lunch?” Ethan asked as she sat down next to him.

“Good. The baby made me eat tacos. We’ll see if they make a reappearance later. So far, I’ve only violently puked three times this pregnancy.”

“Here you go!” Jonah opened the Band-Aid box and stuck a Big Bird one to her abdomen.

“Huh. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be amused or offended at the Big Bird implication.” Olivia ran her hand over her stomach when she felt a soft kick.

“Is our sister kicking?” Jonah asked.

“Uh huh.” Olivia took each of their hands and guided them to her stomach. “Feel it?”

“Yeah!” Zoey’s brow pinched in concentration. “It tickles my hand.”

“You two kicked a lot, but you didn’t start it until a little later. I’m pretty sure you were trying to kick each other.”

They laughed and picked up their toys before they left to play in their playroom. Olivia rested her feet on the table and leaned against Ethan, making herself comfortable.

“How are you feeling?”

“Alright. For now I just want to focus on controlling what I can. Even if she has to have a major heart surgery, we don’t have all the answers yet. Worrying 24/7 won’t change that.”

Ethan slipped his arm around her. “We’ll find out more at your next appointment.”

She nodded and gave his hand a squeeze. “Aside from being treated by five-year-old doctors, how was your day?”

He chuckled. “Uneventful. They asked for chicken tonight.”

“I agree with that.”

That evening, she helped Ethan fix dinner. Even though the chicken and potatoes looked and smelled mouth-watering, Olivia could feel the beginnings of nausea and she ate lightly to avoid unsettling her stomach.

Some time after they’d gone to bed, she awoke with an uncomfortable churning in her stomach. She grimaced and curled up on her side, willing the feeling to pass.

It didn’t, and she lurched out of bed when bile rose in her throat. She made it to their bathroom just in time and dropped to her knees in front of the toilet. A gag escaped her as she emptied the contents of her stomach.

Awoken by the noise, Ethan joined her in the bathroom. He held her hair back and rubbed her back with his other hand.

Olivia groaned. “I think I jinxed myself. Morning sickness just struck at one in the morning.”

“It happened like that last time. It’s not common for morning sickness to start in the second trimester, but it’s not unheard of.”

“It should be.” Olivia cringed and wiped at her mouth. She brushed her teeth to get the bitter taste out, then yawned and sleepily made her way back to bed. “Can you get me some water?”

Ethan retrieved a bottle of water from the kitchen and took it to Olivia. “Here. Keep yourself hydrated.”

Olivia sipped slowly from the water and yawned. “I guess the baby decided she doesn’t like tacos. Or chicken and potatoes.”

In the hallway, a door swung open. Ethan heard footsteps darting into the hallway bathroom. He left their room to investigate and found Jonah hunched over the toilet, throwing up.

Uh oh.

Suspecting that they were in fact not dealing with morning sickness, Ethan followed his son into the bathroom. His expression softened when Jonah looked up with a sad frown. “Feeling bad?”

“Yeah…” Jonah made a face as he leaned over the toilet again. Ethan knelt next to him and pressed his hand to his forehead, finding it warm to the touch.

Zoey ran into the bathroom with her hands clasped over her mouth. Seeing her brother leaning over the toilet, she dropped to her knees and retched into the trash can. “Yuck…”

Ethan found the thermometer and checked their temperatures. They were elevated, but not badly, to his relief. “Let’s get back to bed.”

He picked them up and carried Jonah to his room first. He tucked him into bed and moved his trash can next to his bed in case he threw up again. “Here you go. I’m going to get your sister to bed, and then I’ll bring you something to drink.”

“Okay…”

Ethan repeated the process with Zoey and made sure both kids were settled before he returned to his bedroom.

Olivia emerged from the bathroom, her expression sour. “I thought I was empty, but apparently not.”

Ethan’s hand brushed against her warm forehead. “You’re not nauseous from the pregnancy. Zoey and Jonah are both sick. They’re throwing up and have temperatures of 100 and 100.2.”

Olivia sighed. “I should’ve thought of that. The stomach bug is going through their school. They can sleep in here if they want to. You should sleep somewhere else so we don’t give you the plague.”

Ethan shook his head. “I haven’t had a stomach virus since I was ten.”

“Oh, yeah. You’re the Dr. Infallible Ramsey, immune to all human ailments. You have a golden immune system.”

He shrugged. “Either way, I’ve already been exposed to all three of you. There’s not much point in isolating myself now.”

“Fair enough.”

Ethan left the room to check on the kids, finding them both awake and purely miserable. He carried them to their bedroom and set them down on the bed. They immediately ducked under the covers. When Ethan lay down, Zoey and Jonah snuggled in between their parents and closed their eyes.

“I think a king-sized bed was the right choice,” Olivia yawned, closing her eyes and pulling the covers up to her chin.

“Are we gonna have to take medicine?” At the thought, Zoey wrinkled her nose.

Ethan shook his head. “It wouldn’t help a stomach virus. All you can do is stay hydrated and try to rest as much as possible.”

“Okay. Are you gonna get sick, too?”

“No.”

“Daddy never gets sick,” Jonah reminded his sister.

Olivia snorted. “We’ll see if that theory is true in a few hours.”

By four in the morning, they had a pile of vomit-soiled clothes and sheets. Eventually, after a few hours and cups of ginger ale,  they drifted off to sleep and slept through the early morning hours without waking up to throw up.

Despite the long night, Ethan’s internal alarm woke him moments before sunlight spilled through the window blinds. He stifled a yawn and gently untangled himself from Jonah’s arm thrown across his chest and Zoey’s leg draped across his stomach.

He gathered the pajamas and bedding and started the washing machine, then emptied all of the trash cans and put clean bags in them in case they had a round two of last night’s occurrences.

An hour later, Olivia yawned as she joined him in the living room. “Did you call in?”

“Mm hmm. For both of us, and I called the school.”

“I’m lucky to have someone who’s programmed to run off of two minutes of sleep. I refuse to wake up before the sun when I have a day off.”

“Habit. I try, but my brain isn’t wired to sleep in on days I’m used to going to work.”

Olivia nodded as she opened the fridge and poured a small glass of ginger ale. She took a tentative sip, drinking it slowly in case her stomach decided to expel that, too. “The kids are still out cold. None of us have thrown up for over three hours.”

“The worst of it is probably over.”

“Well, we did have a doctor who made a night-long house call,” she chuckled. “Even if it meant letting three contagious people sleep in his bed all night.”

Ethan laughed quietly. “Sounds like a good doctor.”

Zoey and Jonah shuffled into the kitchen, both yawning and wearing Ethan’s old tee shirts from Hopkins. They climbed into their seats at the table. Ethan didn’t want them to risk unsettling their stomachs again, so he gave them each a cup of Pedialyte and some toast to try.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and raised the mug to his lips. When the scent of freshly brewed coffee hit his senses, he paused. Normally the smell was inviting in the morning, but today it made him blanch.

Olivia gave him a curious glance. “You look like I did last night.”

“I think I feel that way, too.”  Cringing, he set the mug down and poured a glass of ginger ale instead. He took a few sips, only to set it down moments later. Olivia followed him when he left the room and found him throwing up in their bathroom.

“I’d say I told you so, but I know that would be a little harsh right now,” she teased gently, laying her hand on his back.

Ethan winced in disgust and took a swig of mouthwash to get rid of the taste. “I suppose my ego had me convinced I wouldn’t get sick. I stand corrected.”

She squeezed his shoulder. “Well, I’m feeling better than I did last night, so I think I can manage Zoey and Jonah for now. They’ll probably just nap most of the day.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am.” Taking over, Olivia gripped his shoulders and steered him toward the bed. She urged him to lie down and pulled the covers over him. “Let me get the kids settled in and I’ll be right back.”

“Alright.”

She made her way to their bedroom door and paused, glancing back at him with an accusatory frown. “Oh, and by the way…. I told you so.”

Next Chapter

Tags, part 1

@princess-geek / @lapisreviewsstuff / @msjpuddleduck / @silverlitskies / @paulfwesley / @dr-brianna-casey-valentine / @junehiratas / @choicesstanblog / @trappedinfandoms / @justanotherrookie / @bellcat2010 / @desmaranj / @lion-ess24 / @nooruleman / @caseyvalentineramsey / @xee-na / @edith-eggs1 / @oofchoices / @schnitzelbutterfingers / @tefigranger / @jlynn12273 / @laceandlula / @crazy-loca-blog / @somegdchoices / @sanchita012 / @forthebrokenheartedthings / @lilyvalentine / @parkerattano / @drramseysownsme / @misswhit12 / @drethanfreakingramsey / @juneiswriting / @macy-ray85 / @swimmingauthordreamerbonk // @myusualnerdyself​ / @siaramsey​ / @takemyopenheart​ / @queencarb​ 

[it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream]

Silva Lining (Saul Silva x Reader) Chapter 5

Warnings: Mentions of blood/swearing

Word count: 2.2k

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-Unknown POV-

“Y/N! Y/N, wake up, it’s not your time yet. There’s much to be done! Dangers are close. They won’t be able to stop the danger without you. You must wake up, for you are the key to it all, you hold the dragon soul.” 

-Saul’s POV-

“Where the fuck is she?” Saul screamed out, partly because he was in pain from his wounds, partly because he’d just seen the girl he loved fall like a sack of bricks to the ground with blood gushing from her mouth and nose. A couple of Specialists had helped to drag Saul to Mr Harveys lab, he’d been there for all of 20 minutes when he regained consciousness and started flailing around like a mad man, the only thought on his mind, you. He’d passed out when he watched you fall through the portal, only to wake up with the professor poking and prodding at his burned one wound. He couldn’t help but scream in pain, the infection spreading through his body, crawling through him like he was covered in thousands of ants. His veins black, filled with the dark disease. 

“Saul, she’s fine, she’s in the medical wing, in a secluded room, i’ve had to suspend her body in a comma like state for the time being.” Farah stroked Saul’s head as he lay getting his wounds tended. She could see the pain and shock flutter across his face. “She will be okay Saul I promise, it’s just a precaution while her powers regenerate, she should be awake by the end of the day.” Farah looked at him sadly.

“You know? How?” Saul could tell that Farah knew about his and Y/N relationship, but how? For how long? 

“It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. How long have we known you Saul? We’ve seen the way you look at her, the burning desire you have to always protect her. God, if I wasn’t mistaken i’d even say sometimes I can physically see the energy between the both of you. You’ve never looked at anyone like that in the years i’ve known you, not once.” Ben smiled and Farah frowned. Saul couldn’t believe that both of his friends knew and yet, they hadn’t done anything about it. 

“Please Farah, i’m sorry, I never wanted to keep it a secret, I didn’t meant for it to happen, it just did.” He placed his hand over his heart, worried that now the secret was out, things were about to change and not for the better. 

“Mate, you don’t have to worry, your secret is safe with us. We just want you to be happy, you can’t help who you love.” Ben finished cleaning the wound and helped Saul lay down fully, patting him on the shoulder. 

“I need to see her, Please, you should have seen what she did out there, it was scary, amazing, i’ve never seen anything like it before. She looked so fragile Farah, please I have to see her.” Farah patted Saul on the hand, explaining that Y/N needed rest and so did he, it wouldn’t be a good time and a good thing for him to see her the way she was. He tried to fight it he did, but before he could fight any more, the medicine Ben had given him started to kick in and the world faded into a blur of colours and objects and eventually, nothing. 

-Your POV-

You groaned. What a weird dream you’d had. Your eyes flickered catching glimpses of a fluttery sparkly, silver force surrounding your body, then they closed again, your body still tired from your excessive use of magic. 

They opened. Again, the same fluttering force surrounded you, it felt almost warm, powerful, like a battery, charging you, regenerating your life force. The sky outside was lighter now, but your eyes still fluttered, closing for a second time, your body still not ready to awaken.

It was light again by the time your eyes opened all the way and open they stayed. The fluttering force field of energy was replaced by black tendrils of your magic wrapped around yourself like a cocoon. You reeled them back in and winced as you sat up, your throat dry like sandpaper. You saw movement from the corner of your eye, then a glass of water was handed to you by a familiar pair of hands. Silva. His eyes were still tinted with black, he looked tired and his face was pale. Taking the water you drank greedily then set it to the side, you couldn’t help the sob that escaped your lips, Silva moved you over and lay down on the bed with you taking you in his arms, you didn’t fail to notice the wince he gave when he lay down. He was still infected. He was your safety blanket, your safe haven, your home and he was dying. 

“How long was I out? How long has it been?” Saul kissed your hair, his other hand tracing circles on the skin exposed on your hip. 

“You’ve been in a coma for a week Y/N, I thought i’d lost you, Farah said you would have been awake by the end of the day, when you didn’t come round, we feared the worst.” He nuzzled your hair with his nose, breathing deeply, holding you a little tighter, happy that you’d finally woken. 

“You’re still infected? Why haven’t they killed the burned one yet.” You sat up slightly craning your neck to look at Saul, he sighed and his head fell into the crook of your neck. 

“Sweetheart, the problem is a lot bigger than we initially thought, there wasn’t just one burned one, there’s a whole group of them.. fighters killed one this morning, but as you can see, it wasn’t the one that got me.” Your jaw clenched, gritting your teeth to hold back the tears. 

“I won’t let you die Saul, you can’t leave me, you’re all I have in the world.” Your arms wrapped around him tighter and you snuggled down, listening to your mans steady heartbeat. 

-Later that night- 

After the morning spent with Saul, after him telling you that Farah and Ben knew about your relationship and they were going to keep in hush hush, you were given the all clear and were aloud to leave the medical bay. It hadn’t taken long for you to get roped into going to the Specialists party, and you couldn’t help but notice the stares and smiles people gave you in the hall, which you later found out was a new found appreciation for your powers and the fact you saved Silva from a worser fate. 

The party was in full swing but you didn’t feel like drinking, just incase anything happened to Silva, you wanted to be able to help if it came to it. He had reassured you that he would be spending the evening with Farah and Ben, reminiscing about the days when he trained at Alfea, telling you that he was one that started the annual Specialist keg party, but that was apparently a story for another time. 

Looking across the crowded room, you noticed Sky wasn’t drinking either. He was looking around, then caught your eye, suddenly making his way towards you. All of a sudden you were scooped up into a hug, by the taller Blonde guy. You laughed shocked and awkwardly hugged him back. 

“You saved him, you got him out of there, thank you.” You smiled. “I always knew there was something between you two, he never shuts up about you, you make him so happy.” You blushed. 

“God it seems that everyone knows about us when we were trying to keep it a secret the whole time, is it really that obvious?” He laughed and shook his head, his har falling in front of his eyes slightly. 

“No, only the people who know Saul best, so now that me, Headmistress Dowling and Prof Harvey know, I think your secret is safe.” Sky leant against the brick wall, taking a look around the room, a slight frown on his face. He still had a lot on his mind. Stella was across the other side, she noticed the two of you talking but all she did was raise her cup and nod in your direction, knowing that nothing would ever happen between you and the guy she loved. 

“Y/N, he’s dying you know. You’ve been out for a week so you won’t have been able to see the difference. He was better at the start, he’s just gone down hill from here. He didn’t want me to tell you but he tried to tell me goodbye earlier, just incase things went wrong, he didn’t want to worry you. We have to do something.” Well shit. Way to ruin the party mood you thought. Your heart felt like it was squeezed in a vice, your stomach tied in nots and all the air seemed to leave your lungs. It was really that bad? You knew that something had to be done, and that’s when you and Sky came up with your plan. 

It was around midnight when you met Sky at the edge of the barrier. Accompanied by Bloom? You didn’t ask.. the more the merrier you guessed, you needed all the help you could get and you knew that for some reason Bloom was able to sense the Burned Ones near, it was like having your own sniffer Fairy, you snickered to yourself which landed you strange looks from the pair. 

To say you were nervous was an understatement, you’ve seen first hand what the masters are capable of, but you also knew how much you were capable of, your powers sometimes making you feel untouchable. Bloom had lead you into the middle of the woods, she could hear it. It wasn’t until you saw the red eyes and heard it’s cry that you jumped into action. The three of you were pushed back, you hit the floor with a thud, the wind knocked out of you. 

“Close your eyes!” Stella? You turned and caught a glimpse of her before you closed your eyes. Even behind your eyelids you saw the forrest come to life with the light of Stella’s powers. Great, now it really was the more the merrier, you should have known that your roommates would come to the rescue, you were grateful, but you also feared for their safety. 

Stella and Musa helped you stand while Bloom hit the monster with the force of of her fire powers, Aisha hit it next sending the thing crashing to the floor where Sky finished it off with his sword. You winced, noticing you’d bumped your head on a rock when pushed back, blood matted in your hair, but you’d live. 

“I don’t think its dea-“ Musa started but never got to finish her sentence when the burned one burst into pieces. You all turned slowly when you heard the pissed off voice of Headmistress Dowling. 

Walking back in silence was weird. You still had a shit eating grin plastered on your face though. What if this was the one? The one that had got Saul. He’d be saved. You practically ran with Sky when you got to the barrier. Both of you walked cautiously through the green house doors, Ben was taking off Sauls bandages, you felt like you’d been holding your breath for hours. Letting Sky go in first, you felt a little dizzy, so tried to catch your breath. 

“You are an idiot, a stupid, impulsive, reckless idiot!” Well, he sure did sound like the old Saul you know and loved. 

“Is it better?” Sky asked in a frantic voice. You held your breath again. At this rate, you’d be able to give Aisha a run for her money at swimming with the amount of breath holding you had going on.

“Don’t smile at him” Ben laughed as Saul told him off and you peaked your head around the door to see Saul and Sky hugging. Happy tears ran down your face, it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You coughed a little to gain their attention. Saul’s face flickered with a load of emotions, anger, surprise, happiness, love… then worry as he noticed the blood matted in your hair. 

“I had some help.” Sky pat Saul on the shoulder and left the room, giving your shoulder a pat too. Ben noticed you and took it as his cue to leave and give you both some much needed privacy. Then it was just the two of you. 

“Before you say anything I know it was stupid I know, I just couldn’t stand back and watch you die!” You’d barely pushed yourself off the edge of the door before Silva was in front of you, hand on the side of your face, drawing you in for a kiss that made you almost grateful that you didn’t have wings because the feeling he gave you in that kiss, would have had you soaring up into outer space. 

“So, you’re feeling better then?”

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Okay so I feel like this is slightly filler? IDK. I just hope you guys enjoy it, I can't believe the amount of support i’ve been getting over this story... im so grateful you don't even know! Let me know what you think in the comments... what you think should happen next, what you like/don't like.

Chapter 6 pt1 ------- CLICK HERE 

Tag List:

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[lillywillow]

Curses!

Summary: You have been having the worst week of your life. Sam tries to help you.

 Word Count: 1265

 Square Filled: “Need a medic?”

 Pairings: Sam Wilson x Reader

 Warnings: A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week

Written for @star-spangled-bingo

 You had never been the type to believe in superstitions. Often you had shrugged it off as a joke or coincidence when bad things happened. This week, however, has you thinking differently.

...

It started on Monday. Like any other morning, you poured your cereal into your bowl only to find out someone had eaten it, leaving just a few crumbs behind. To add insult to injury, the milk had been left in the fridge so long, it was now pretty much cottage cheese. You had tried searching for something else for breakfast but nobody in the tower had bothered going shopping for groceries. Now thoroughly annoyed, you decided to skip breakfast altogether.

 And that was only the beginning of the week.

 The rest of the week was a series of accidents and unfortunate incidents. At lunch one day, you somehow managed to bite your hand eating a sandwich. On a minor mission, an insect flew down the collar of your shirt and stung your back in a place you couldn’t reach. Someone ate the last of your leftovers that you were really looking forward to at the end of the day. One time drinking hot coffee, you tipped the beverage down your front. A chair broke as you sat on it. You even choked while drinking water.

 The hits.

 Just.

 Continued.

 Coming.

 The final straw happened on Thursday. You were walking into the living room when you kicked your little toe hard against the doorway. Letting out an unholy screech and a string of swearwords, you fell to the ground clutching your foot.

 “Need a medic?” Sam smirked, looking down at you.

 “At this point, I think I need an exorcist...”

 “Yeah, I noticed. I thought for sure that scream was the demon escaping...”

 Unable to hold it in anymore, you burst into tears.

 “Hey, hey, hey, now... I was only joking. I’m sorry...” Sam knelt down and pulled you into his arms and rocked softly with you to comfort you.

 “It’s not your fault, Sam. This week has just been the worst... Everything has just been going wrong... yesterday I left my door open, Alpine wandered in and peed in my shoe which I didn’t notice until I put it on and... You know I’m not the superstitions type but this week...” You started crying again.

 Sam held you close and comforted you until you had settled down. It was times like this you were glad to have such a caring boyfriend.

 “Do you want to sit on the couch and watch movies?”

 “Y-yeah,” you whimpered.

 “Yeah? Okay...” Sam helped you get to the couch, taking care not to touch to injured toe which had already blossomed into a massive bruise.

 Sam gently set you down on the couch and put your foot up on the coffee table to keep it elevated. Afterwards, he put the movie on for you, wrapped you up in a blanket and got ice for your damaged appendage. Throughout the movie, Sam fed you snacks and made sure you had something to drink. While you may have been a full grown adult and capable of taking care of yourself (although this week had made you question that last part) it still felt nice to be taken care of. The rest of the day went without incident.

...

 The following day, you absolutely refused to come out of your room, lest something else bad happen to you. Sam knocked on your door.

 “Come on out, Y/N...”

 “No! I’m never coming out again until this stupid week is over!” you whined.

 “I made an appointment with a physic...”

 “You know I don’t believe in that mumbo jumbo...”

 Just then, a shelf on your wall decided it was time to collapse. Taking this as a sign, you opened the door.

 “Let’s go see the physic...” you mumbled with all the attitude of a sulking child. Sam grinned and put his arm around you, helping you to walk as you were still limping due to the severity of the hit to your little toe.

...

 The place Sam brought you to was something out of a movie. There were glass jars filled with mysterious objects lining the shelves and bundles of dried herbs hanging around. The smell of patchouli filled the air. Crystals of various shapes, sizes and colours sparkled in the light. You were about to walk out when a woman emerged from behind the maroon velvet curtains. She wore a purple bandana on her head, many bangles on her wrists and hoop earrings. The woman certainly fit the stereotype of a physic.

 “Welcome to my shop. I am the great Madame Nobunaga. With what can I help you with today?” she spoke in an exotic European accent.

 “Sam, this is stupid,” you whispered.

 “Do you want to get rid of your bad luck or not?”

 You carefully pondered your options before deciding that you did not want to suffer another day with something else going wrong.

 “Hi, um... this week, I’ve had some really bad luck and...”

 “Ah, yes, yes, my child. I can see your aura is a mess. Come with me in the back room and we shall do a cleansing...”

 You gave Sam an unsure look but with his approving nod, you followed Madame Nobunaga into the back where a small table covered by a midnight blue cloth had been set up. You sat on one of the cushions provided.

 “Now... let us begin. Close your eyes... breathe in the positivity, breathe out the negativity...”

 You closed your eyes and breathed as she told you while she pottered around, muttering and humming.

 “You are not focussing. Try to focus on the positive things in your life.”

 Positive things. Right. What was positive about your life? Sam. Sam was a big positive. The way he would comfort you, protect you, be there for you no matter what. Yes, Sam was the love of your life. That was a big positive. What else was there? Your friends, you guessed. The way they would make you laugh and support you... and there was Alpine too. Although Bucky’s cat could be a pain in the butt with the way... no, no, no, don’t go there. That was negative. Focus on the positive...

 By the end of the session, you were surprisingly feeling a lot more relaxed.

 “Would you like to buy a protective charm to keep away the negative energy?” Madame Nobunaga asked.

 “Couldn’t hurt,” Sam shrugged.

 With a sigh, you purchased the charm to put by your bed (even though you felt like it was a bit of a rip-off), paid the woman for her services and left.

 “See? That wasn’t so bad was it?”

 “Yeah, well... we’ll see...” you grumbled.

...

 Over the next few days, you began to actually began to see improvements. Sam helped you fix your shelf, and nothing that was sitting on it was damaged. Bucky was nice enough to buy you a new pair of shoes to replace the one his cat had soiled. Tony had taken you all out to dinner at a nice restaurant and paid for everyone. Fury had given you and Sam a whole week off together. Things were finally looking up again.

 Although you still weren’t sure how real some superstitions were, you would never again doubt the power of luck.

[mostgeckcellent]

my submission for the @drinkwithme-exchange for @fuckyeahlesmiserables

I originally wrote something completely different, and I didn't like it at all, but you mentioned you liked my Old Guard series, so I wrote a new installment of that for you instead!

Platonic Ships: Eponine & Musichetta, Eponine & Grantaire

Eponine swirled her glass. Cosette was still with Enjolras - she’d dragged their newly-returned-from-the-dead friend off pretty quick, but Eponine was still processing. Did she believe him? She wasn’t sure. He’d convinced Bahorel, though, and Baz had never been the type to believe just anything without questioning it, especially something as batshit crazy as all of this.

Immortals. What next?

She drained what remained of her whiskey and coke, and stood. She needed to go for a walk.

Eponine was three blocks away from Jehan’s little house when Musichetta caught up to her.

“Hey.” Musichetta put a hand on Eponine’s shoulder. “You okay?”

Eponine stopped walking, lit a cigarette. “Yeah. Sure.”

“You know it’s okay if you’re not,” Musichetta said, never one to just back down.

“Yeah,” Eponine repeated with a sigh. “You want one?”

“Sure.” Musichetta took the offered cigarette; Eponine lit it for her.

They stood in silence for a while. Eponine liked that about Musichetta, that they could just be. That she didn’t have to talk, or fill the space.

“It’s fucked up, right?” Eponine said eventually.

“Yeah.” Musichetta didn’t have to ask what. Enjolras’ return was a miracle unlooked for, of course, but it was bittersweet, too. They’d mourned him. Not moved on, never moved on - it felt impossible, when there were no answers - but he’d left them.

Eponine understood. She did, probably better than any of the rest of them. She of all people knew about needing to run away and not look back, knew about new lives and new beginnings and the colliding of worlds.

It still hurt, to have been left behind.

“It’s good to have answers,” Musichetta said eventually, when their cigarettes were burned nearly to stubs. “Fucking weird answers, mind you-”

Eponine laughed, sharp. “Fucking weird answers,” she agreed.

“-But it’s good to have them,” Musichetta finished.

“Yeah,” Eponine agreed. “I’m glad he’s alive. And hey, if he really is immortal, I can shank him for doing that to us,” she grinned, all teeth and no joy.

Musichetta nudged her in the side. “You’re not gonna stab Enjolras,” she shook her head.

“I might,” Eponine protested.

“You’re not going to stab Enjolras,” Musichetta repeated sternly. “I know you’re mad. We all are, a little. It’s a lot. But-”

“But what? But he had to?” She knew that. “It wasn’t safe?” She knew that too. She dropped her cigarette, put it out with her heel. Could hear Enjolras’ voice in the back of her head, chiding her for littering, for letting the chemicals inevitably leach into the water somewhere. She ignored it.

“Yes,” Musichetta said, as if it were that simple. “And he came back in the end.”

“Because he got caught,” Eponine snarled. “Not because-”

“He cares about us. He cares about you,” Musichetta said softly.

“Does he?”

“You know he does.”

Eponine sighed, looked away. “I’ll forgive him eventually,” she muttered. “I’m just - I’m not ready yet.”

“Okay,” Musichetta agreed with a soft smile. “Can I hug you?”

Eponine rolled her eyes a little, but she opened her arms, and really, she’d never admit it out loud, but Musichetta’s hugs had a way of making her feel like everything really might be alright, someday.

--

Enjolras would stay for three days. That’s what he said when he got off the phone with his friends. Three days. His friends would make the drive today, his new family.

Eponine didn’t resent him for it. Or - she did, a little. He’d ran off with his new friends to a new place and left them all to pick up the pieces, and now his new friends were coming here. But it was fine, and Eponine didn’t resent him.

Maybe if she repeated it enough she’d convince herself.

She knew she wasn’t being fair to him. She knew she was wasting time - if they only had three days, she ought to be making the most of it, not sulking in the bathroom.

“You’re going to regret avoiding him the whole time when he has to leave again,” came Musichetta’s voice from the other side of the door, because Musichetta was a fucking mind reader.

“Maybe so,” Eponine called back, but she unlocked the door and opened it.

“Apparently they’ll be here in around an hour,” Musichetta reported. “They started the drive this morning.”

“Great,” Eponine muttered.

“Ep.” Musichetta frowned. Apparently, sympathy hours had run out. “Come on. They’re important to him.”

“We used to be important to him,” Eponine scowled.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Musichetta stepped into the bathroom with Eponine, shutting the door behind her. “I love you, you know I do, but he still loves us. And you’re going to feel like shit when he’s gone, and you’ve just been resentful at him the whole time. Did he do a shitty thing? Yes. Do you have a right to be upset by it all? Absolutely. But you’re going to kick yourself for wasting the time you’ve been given.”

Eponine glared at Musichetta for a long moment, but Musichetta was used to her moods, and didn’t back down an inch.

Eponine deflated, sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair. “So, we’ve moved on from pity to ass-kicking, huh?”

“You know the drill, baby,” Musichetta grins at her. “One day for wallowing, and then we get the fuck back up again.”

“Ugh. I fucking hate you.”

“No you don’t.” Musichetta clapped Eponine on the back. “C’mon. Let’s go do this thing.”

--

Enjolras’ friends were.. Well. They were an odd bunch, which meant, in the end, that they fit right in. Marius was looking up at Courfeyrac with the widest puppy eyes, enraptured by the tales he wove. Marius wasn’t the only one - even Eponine had to admit the man had charisma. He’d won over most of the group within moments of arriving, cheerful and kind as he was. Combeferre was a quiet, steady presence beside him, the pair of them orbiting each other in a way that was as enthralling as it was sickeningly sweet. Joly had managed to tear Combeferre away for a separate conversation at some point; Eponine wasn’t listening, had stopped listening when they had started discussing the more gruesome points in medical history. And then there was Feuilly - she was gorgeous, and better yet, she swore like a sailor and beat Bahorel at arm wrestling three times in a row. Enjolras’ new friends had been folded neatly into the Amis, like it was easy, like they fit.

Well, most of them. One man kept to the corner, nursing a drink and watching Enjolras, always watching Enjolras.

“Grantaire, right?” Eponine leaned against the wall beside him.

He looked over at her, startled. “Yeah. That’s me.”

“A bit old for him, aren’t you?” she asked, because she wasn’t stupid, she knew what it meant that Grantaire stared like that, that Enjolras only blushed when stumbling over his introduction of Grantaire, and not the others.

Grantaire snorted. “You have no idea,” he admitted. “But he knows what he wants, and I’ve learned not to get in the way of his decisions.”

“Hm.” Eponine sized Grantaire up. Honestly, she’d assumed Enjolras was some sort of monk, before he’d disappeared. He’d never dated, never so much as looked.

He definitely looked at Grantaire, though. In fact, he was looking now, looking away from his conversation with Courfeyrac, Combeferre, Marius and Cosette to stare at Grantaire, and it wasn’t a look Eponine had ever seen him direct at anyone before.

“You’re not what I’d have expected for him,” she said.

“Tell me about it.” Grantaire didn’t seem to care to argue the point.

Eponine narrowed her eyes at him.

He glanced at her, and shrugged. “I love him,” he said after a moment. “When I was ready to give up on the world, there he was, all..” He waved a hand in Enjolras’ direction. “Well, you know him. You know what he’s like - justice and whatever, Apollo fucking incarnate, the way he speaks..” Grantaire trailed off. “I don’t know how anyone can hear him talk and not love him.”

“I dunno, he’s not really my type,” Eponine said drily, a smile beginning to curl at the edge of her lips despite herself.

Grantaire laughed. “Must be weird, all of this.”

“Now there’s an understatement,” Eponine muttered, eyes locked on Enjolras, who had returned to his conversation.

“He’s not going to age,” Grantaire said, not quite casual.

“I guess not,” Eponine agreed.

“It’s going to kill him, watching you all age and die.” Grantaire crossed his arms over his chest.

Eponine.. hadn’t thought about that. “Is that why he stayed away?”

“Absolutely not.” Grantaire huffed out a laugh, though he didn’t seem happy about it. “No, he wanted so badly to get in touch, no matter how much we - I - warned him he’d just get hurt. He thinks it’s worth it.” Grantaire looked around the room, and Eponine could see when he softened. “Maybe he was right,” he allowed. “I just hope it doesn’t break him.”

“So you’re the reason he stayed away,” Eponine narrowed her eyes at him.

Grantaire glanced at her. “I just want him to be safe and happy. Getting attached to mortals? Never ends well.”

“It wasn’t your call to make,” Eponine frowned at him.

“No,” Grantaire agreed. “It wasn’t. I didn’t try to stop him from coming here, I just..” He sighed.

Eponine sighed too. “You’re right,” she said eventually. “It’ll kill him to watch us die. And he won’t look away, I know he won’t, he’ll be here.”

“Yeah,” Grantaire agreed.

Sad wasn’t the right word for Grantaire, Eponine thought. Weary, to his bones, with sadness etched into him… for a moment, she felt like she glimpsed him properly, ancient and grand as he was. And then he was just a guy again - a young man in a green hoodie, someone she’d pass on the street and never give a second thought to.

“You’ll be there for him, when it happens,” Eponine said like it was a certainty. She had to hope - believe - that it was.

“Yes,” Grantaire agreed. “I’ll be there. So will they.” He gestured to where Enjolras was gesticulating wildly, accidentally smacking Courfeyrac’s nose when a gesture went too wide. Courfeyrac just laughed, and tweaked Enjolras’ nose in return. Enjolras squawked indignantly, and then the whole group of them were laughing, Cosette and Marius included, and Bossuet, who had joined them at some point.

“You’ll keep in touch,” Eponine said. It wasn’t a question. She held out her phone.

Grantaire looked at her for a long moment. She didn’t squirm, didn’t flinch, just raised an eyebrow.

Grantaire nodded, took the phone, and plugged his own number in. Enjolras’, too, for good measure.

“I was determined to hate you all,” Eponine admitted as she took the phone back.

“I get that,” Grantaire agreed.

“I don’t,” Eponine pocketed the phone. “He seems happy. And he’s out there, making a difference or whatever. If he can’t do it with us, I’m.. glad, I guess, that he can do it with you.”

“He’d stay if he could,” Grantaire said.

“I don’t know if that’s true,” Eponine shook her head. “He cares about you a lot. And them, too, your whole bunch.”

“He’s got enough in his heart of all of us.” Grantaire looked at her.

Eponine smiled a little. “Yeah. Yeah, he does.”

[bagadew]

The Great Ace Attorney Playthrough: The Adventure of the Great Departure (Part 2)

Last Time: I (Ryunosuke) was falsely accused of murdering John Watson Wilson, because the government’s trying to avoid an international incident and I am an expendable mug. Fortunately our best friend Kazuma of the fluttering headband stepped in to save us, but unfortunately Ryunosuke is a trusting idiot who decided to take his own defense because he didn’t want to jeopardize Kazuma’s studding abroad. In a breach of conduct for the first case in an Ace Attorney game there were multiple witnesses, none of whom committed the crime. Finally we managed to establish the presence of a woman who’s presence had been erased because she was English and the Japanese government didn’t want to cause an international incident, fortunately everyone decided fuck the government actually, and we’re bringing her in!

(Just a note before we start that because the game’s so new and I’m playing on my switch, my screenshots have really dropped in quality today (and probably for the foreseeable future). That’s also why there are less of them this time round.)

I would like to start off by reminding everyone that Kazuma’s the best.

I’m not exactly sure when I became desperate for Kazuma’s approval, but apparently I am.

If only we had ballistics - the fingerprints of the gun

Professor Mikotoba! The most innocent of men (probably)

Ryunosuke this man views us as chopped liver compared to Kazuma...

... Kazuma, Ryunosuke views himself as chopped liver compared to you...

Ok, so Professor Mikotoba was the one who invited Dr Watson Wilson over from England, and he’s sent Pink Lady to get “something we may need” from the university.

She spoke!

Why do I feel like an absolute shitstorm is heading our way...

‘I’ll save the thank-yous’ for after the trial’ Kazuma for no reason you have to stay handcuffed to me for the rest of this case and the start of the next one. I’m not having another Mia Fey incident.

Is anyone else getting big Dahlia Hawthorne vibes here?

Listen Hosonaga, I understand (from the fact that you look like this as the grand old age of 29) that life has not been kind to you, but you have to understand that Women, even if they are from England, do not naturally come in that shape. There are about 50 different places Jezaille Brett could have hidden a gun in that outfit.

Oh my god!

My favourite thing about Kazuma is how sometimes he pulls this face:

Ok so Jezaille removed one of the glasses of carbonated water from the scene of the crime, hoping to cover up the fact that she’d been there at all. Unfortunately for her I’m pretty sure that I can see the edge of a glass in the photograph of the victim, so something’s not adding up

Also she just admitted to having a handbag on her, so even if there’s not a gun stuffed inside that swan of hers, she had a way of carrying it out the scene that these idiots will recognise!

Hosonaga here, really choosing to threaten the goodwill he picked up at the end of Part 1.

Also, what’s that mark on the victims wrist? It looks like some sort of buffalo?

Also Hosonaga’s coughing feels really familiar, and while this is Ace Attorney (and therefor there could be a whole load of poison related explanations), I’m starting to wonder if he might have TB?

(For people who don’t know (which is most people) Cystic Fibrosis (what I have) and TB behave in an incredibly similar way, to the point where a lot of the people who had ‘TB’ back then might have actually had CF.)

Oh Ryunosuke...

It’s ok buddy, we’ve still got a new mystery mark and a picture glass I’m now only 80% sure I can see...

Kazuma! Not you too!

It’s so sad, he’s not even fluttering anymore

Kazuma’s now threatening the  Ace Attorney games refusal to contain swear words.

OH SWEET JESUS THAT GAVLE’S MASSIVE!!!

We’re on the right track, Miss Brett is not happy about my pointing out the buffalo burn!

Lunch my ass Miss Brett! This is clearly a ploy to escape!

Oh... I was kind of hoping Pink Lady would come back with whatever the Thing was she was sent to get. And that that would help us out of this mess.

But I guess that’s not happening just yet...

(BTW, have I just been out of the game for a long time, or is this getting really challenging for a first case? I thought the buffalo burn would do it, but apparently not)

Ok Ryunosuke, lets fall back on the old tactic of closely examining everything we possess until we find something that sort of looks like what we’re looking for. In this case a buffalo

HOT DAMN!!!

Post-mortem burn! Post-mortem burn!

I’ve just remembered this country doesn’t do autopsies!

They only go by what the body looked like at the time of death!

So when you’re faced with a man who has a bullet wound in his chest, you’d assume that was the cause of death!

And you wouldn’t CHECK FOR POISON!!!

POISON MEDICAL STUDEN JEZAILLE BRETT WOULD HAVE HAD BOTH EASY ACCESS TO AND KNOWLEDGE OF!!!

THATS WHY SHE REMOVED HIS GLASS!!!

Oh no... she’s smiling... why is she smiling...

Yeah, you and me both Hosonaga

I feel like at this point the two of us have a relationship that goes up and down like a sea-saw.

“Why did you need a translator?” Because she’s been playing this court like a dammed fiddle, next question

And just like that I’m ready to kick Miss Brett into the sun.

Yep, that’s the appropriate face.

She says, like the man who hasn’t been needlessly translating her every word, and who jumped through hoops to remove her from a murder investigation isn’t standing right there.

With every word she says I find myself becoming rapidly more convinced that Satoru Hosonaga didn’t bring Miss Brett to us because it was the right thing to do, but rather because he remembered that she was a Massive Bitch, and decided to give her what was coming to her.

LETS TEAR THIS BITCH TO SHREDS!

I’m both terrified and curious to know how they’re going to one up this lady. We’re only on the first case and she is just so deeply unlikable. I haven’t seethed over a villain like this in ages, and she’s only the first one.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to apologies to one Dahlia Hawthorne, you may have been a manipulative, poisoning, monster Dahlia, but at least you had style.

IT’S TIME!!!

I think it was Hosonaga’s spirit finally snapping next to her.

Yeah, bet you wish you’d been less of an asshole now, huh?

GET HER ASS HOSONAGA!!

Fancy a drink Miss Brett?

Kazuma, you need to do something quick, your position as my favourite is being threatened by the coughing detective who has aged like milk!

I just examined the water bottle incase in had any suspicious markings on it, and when I asked Kazuma what the French on the bottle said he told me to ‘go to France and ask’!

Yeah that’ll do it!

You go Kazuma!

GET HER ASS RYUNOSUKE!!!

Ok, Pink Lady, we really need you to come in now!

Given how confident she was about the bottle not having poison in it, and the fact that she and the victim both drank from it, I’m going to guess that it was just put straight into the glass Dr Watson Wilson drank from.     Meaning that it’s probably somewhere around the university, either still     in Miss Brett’s handbag, or in a bin somewhere.

I just want to say again what an intense first case this is!

PINK LADY!!!

[avengerscompound]

The Surrogate - Chapter 11

The Surrogate:  A Clintasha Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Word Count:  1868

Rating:  E

Warnings:  Pregnancy, sex talk

Synopsis: A freak end of the world incident leads to meeting your two best friends, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff.  While your friendship with the two Avengers is anything but conventional, they are your all-time favorite people.  When you find out that Clint and Natasha want to start a family but have exhausted all their options, you realize your powerset might allow you to give them what they want.  Having your best friends’ baby might seem like a good idea on paper, but when you are as close as you, Clint, and Natasha are, will doing something so intimate mean feelings get a little mixed up?

Chapter 11

Living with Clint and Natasha was the best worst thing you’d ever done.  You loved being around them.  They were fun and hilarious and they doted on you.  While your morning sickness was kicking your ass, there was always one of them there with a cool compress, rubbing your back.  They kept saltines and ginger ale on hand.  They made sure you took your anti-nausea medication and your pregnancy vitamins.  They were even pulling in favors from friends.  Wanda had made up several batches of different soups she used to cook with her mother that you could eat with an upset stomach, and Pepper dropped off a few things that had helped with her when she was pregnant with Morgan.

As your morning sickness eased up at the end of the first trimester, you were hit by a sudden wave of energy.  They moved on to doing midnight runs to get that very weirdly specific thing you were craving and offering you foot and back rubs every time you even remotely complained.

That would all be fine - more than fine.  It was amazing and they were amazing.  Only you couldn’t pretend that you weren’t feeling the way you were feeling about them anymore.  You’d fallen head over heels for the both of them.  Not to mention that your hormones being all out of whack meant you could go from being horny as hell to in tears in sixty seconds flat. Any time you thought about how you felt about them you were just as likely to want to jump them as to hide and cry about how terrible a person you were for not being able to get those feelings in check.

“Alright,” Clint said, coming in with a stack of different boxes and containers and putting them on the counter.  “We have pizza, we have lo mein, we have fried chicken and biscuits, we have chocolate eclairs. Did I forget anything?”

“Whatchamacallit,” you said, sitting forward in the chair.

Clint fished around in the pocket of his coat and pulled out the candy bar.  “One ‘Whatchamacallit’,” he said, miming slamming it down on the table.

“Thank you, Clint.  You’re the best,” you said and grabbed the container of noodles and the chopsticks.

“You know it,” he said, getting a slice of the pizza.

Natasha came into the room with drinks and took a seat next to you.  “Your cravings have been off the charts lately.”

“Yeah, I read they don’t really know why they happen, but I just need all the sugar and salt,” you said.

 “I read it had to do with lacking dopamine,” Natasha said.

“I feel that,” Clint said, raising his hand to you.  “High five!”

You laughed and looked at his hand.  “I’m not high fiving your depression, Clint.”

“Damn it,” Clint said, putting his hand back down.  “That’s not gonna help it.”

“You feeling okay though?”  Natasha asked.  “Feeling down or … you know?”

“Honestly, yeah, I feel good,” you admitted.  “I got a huge burst of energy when I stopped getting morning sickness.  It’s like I’m running at 110%.  I really like living with you guys.  The only thing…”  You trailed off and shook your head.

“What is it?”  Clint asked.  “You need a softer mattress?  More pillows?”

You shook your head.  “No, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

Clint looked at you confused.  Like he couldn’t imagine a possible reason why you’d keep a secret from him.  It made sense. You didn’t normally keep things from him.  There were days when you told him pregnancy stuff in such detail that he asked you to stop sharing.

“You know you can tell us anything, right?”  Natasha said. “We’ll do whatever we can for you.”

“That’s the problem,” you mumbled, shoving a huge mouthful of noodles into your mouth.

“What?  Is it that we’re smothering you?”  Natasha asked, putting her hand on your leg. “You can tell us.  I know I’ve been a little overbearing, but I’m still expecting the other shoe to drop.”

“It’s not that.  You’ve been fine, I know what your head has been like.  It’s nothing… no...I guess it is… you know what...never mind…” you babbled.  You got up grabbing the box of noodles.  “I’m going to go eat on the roof.”

As you hurried out of the room you noticed Natasha and Clint give each other a look just before you closed the door.  You went straight up to the roof of the building.  The building that the Avengers lived in was set below most of the others, so the view of the compound was obscured by the large white office building. It was set right on the water, and if you sat looking out at the Huson it was just the river and forest for miles and it was almost like it was just a normal apartment block with amazing views.

You perched on the edge of the building, one hand cradling your small belly while you ate the noodles.  You’d only been up there for fifteen minutes when Clint appeared behind you.

“You forgot your ‘Whatchamacallit’,” he said, sitting beside you and putting the candy bar on the ledge between the two of you.

“Thanks, Clint,” you said.  “Sorry, I’m being weird. Nat’s not too worried is she?”

“She’s a little worried.  But she also gets you might be a little hormonal right now,” Clint said.

“Clint!”  You squawked.

He laughed and nudged you gently.  “It’s nice up here, huh?”  You nodded and he rubbed your back.  “I always feel like I see everything better when I’m up here.  You know what I mean?”  He said.  You nodded again and he lowered his hand, resting on it on the edge of the building as he swung his legs over the edge.  “The thing is sex, right?  You’re super horny?  I read that some women get like that when they’re pregnant.”

You whined and nodded.  “Yes.  It’s like half of what I think of.  Then food.  Then just everything else.”

“And we’ve had plenty of sex, so you know we’d help you out.  So I’m guessing you didn’t tell us, because you’ve caught feelings and you think the sex will just make them stronger?”  He asked.

It was annoying how much Clint picked up on.  He acted like an idiot, but he never missed a single thing.  You nodded and picked up the candy, tearing it open and biting into it, hoping that the chocolate-coated peanut wafers would distract you from the other things you were feeling.

“Are you in love with Nat?”  Clint asked.  “Cause… I get it.  And… I can share.”

You squeezed your eyes closed and shook your head.  “It’s both of you.”

Clint started laughing.  “Then what’s the problem?”

“Clint,” you said, hoping that the pain wasn’t as evident in your voice as you felt.  “I don’t just want something casual.  I’m falling in love with you both, and I’m doing this -” you gestured to your stomach “-so you guys can be parents.  It’s all complicated and you’re not going to have time to start a new thing.  And my hormones are all messed up.   The timing is off and … and…”

Clint took your hand and gently squeezed it.  “Babe,” he said, gently.  “Nat and I have been referring to you as our girlfriend since before you offered to have our baby.”

You looked up at him with your brow furrowed.  “You have?”

“Yeah, we have.  For a while we thought you felt the same way, but then you started dating and you’d stop sleeping with us,” he explained.  “We just… didn’t think you could do the polyamory thing.  You’d only ever sleep with us when you weren’t dating anyone else and when you did sleep with us it was always just when you were super desperate and you kept it very casual.  So we called you our girlfriend to each other, but like… you were our casual girlfriend.  And we knew one day we’d have to lose you.  But if you’re saying you want us?  We already consider you ours.”

“What about the baby?”  You asked.

Clint let out a breath and tapped his fingers on the back of your hand.  “I guess there’s a lot to talk about and work out there.  ‘Cause if you really want in - properly in and not just the casual side thing that you kinda already have been doing the whole time - then you’re gonna be a mommy too, not just the best aunt a kid could possibly have.”  He paused and ruffled his hand through his hair. “But the way I figure, if you do want that, it’s kinda perfect, isn’t it?  I mean, there’s three of us.  It’s got mine and Nat’s genes and you’re the one carrying it.  We’re all connected to the little peanut.”

Your heart has started hammering.  It felt like you were sitting on the precipice of something good.  But you worried that it was just an illusion and if you plunged in it would be the end of everything.

“What if it doesn’t work out?”  You asked.

Clint laughed softly.  “Oh, babe,” he said gently.  “Literally every day, multiple times a day I ask myself that.  I wake up in the morning and think, ‘what if today’s the day Nat realizes what a piece of shit I am, and I lose her’.  And I get to work and think, ‘what If today Steve realizes that an archer is a ridiculous thing to have in his superhero team’.  Nat will look at me a certain way, or get frustrated with me and I will be sure that’s it.  I ruined it.  I keep going because so far no one has worked it out I’m a fraud.  And she makes me happy.  And you make me happy too.  So if you want to try and fake it with me.  I’d really like that.”

Your heart broke for him and you wrapped your arms around him and buried your face in his neck.  You didn’t know if it was just that you were hormonal and a little over-emotional, but you started crying freely, your tears wetting Clint’s shirt.  He wrapped his arms about you and held you steady as you cried against him.

As you started to get control of yourself Clint rubbed your back slowly.  “Is that a ‘yes’?”  He whispered.

You nodded and he tilted your chin up to look at him.  His blue eyes looked down at you in that same soft and loving way he looked at Natasha.  Like she hung the stars in the sky just for him.  You leaned up, your lips barely parted and he bridged the difference, kissing you deeply but tenderly.

He pulled back slowly and you chased his lips, reluctant to let the kiss end because as soon as it did, everything would be different, and different didn’t always mean better.  “You wanna come downstairs and talk to Nat?  Maybe eat the rest of that food I brought you?”

You nodded.  “Yeah.  Okay.”

He got up and offered you his hand.  You stood, taking it and he led you back downstairs to the apartment he shared with Natasha.

// NEXT

[r3almellow]

MLQC Boys With  A Drunk S/o

I think all the boys would take very good care of you in their own little way!! 

Please enjoy! 

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Kiro

Kiro is no stranger to nights of regrets after one too many glasses. Thanks to his own experiences and Savin’s instructions he’ll know just want to do! 

Want to ramble about nonsense until all hours of the morning? Say no more! Kiro will be by your side, even if he has to wake up early for rehearsals. 

You like to pretend you’re meeting Kiro for the first time and act shocked when you see him standing in your shared living room in shorts and a t-shirt with a superhero symbol on it. 

While feigning disbelief and trying to control your giggles, you always refer to him as whoever is on his shirt at the time.

“Oh my gosh! I can’t believe Batman is in my living room! My boyfriend is going to be so jealous!” 

Kiro will always play along because WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO BE BATMAN?!

Sometimes you’ll get the hero name wrong, but who cares?!

He’ll make you do things that will tire you out. 

Play video games, watch TV, and even roleplaying (don’t worry its all PG) are on his list of things to do.

You’re extremely clingy when you’re drunk which Kiro doesn’t mind. It gives him a chance to smother you with his love and hugs. 

Seeing his adorable Miss Chips hooked onto his arm or torso makes his heart swell.

If you’re in the couch you’ll have your head in his lap while he’s singing you to sleep and stroking your hair. 

“Don’t worry, Miss Chips, your superhero will make sure you get a good nights rest.” 

If he has to leave before you wake up, he’ll leave his special “Kiro’s Super Special Supreme Hangover Breakfast” waiting for you. 

Gavin

Depending on how drunk you are, he will scold you and mentally kick himself for not being around to stop you from getting carried away.

If you have your head in the toilet for most of the night, Gavin will be with you the whole time and will even hold your hair back when needed.

You sometimes have a tendency of getting a little frisky when you’re drunk so Gavin has to shut that down as fast as possible. 

“Got a girlfriend, cutie? I’m sure she won’t mind if we have some fun.” Nope! You’re not going to drag him into a night full of wild sex while you’re in this state. Even if you are currently....stripping....and looking at him...with those...seductive eyes. NO!

Gives you a bath to sober you up which might result in the bathroom being flooded and him completely drenched. 

Gavin will sleep on the couch unless you want him in bed with you, which you always do. 

As you slowly start to sober up, four times out of ten you’ll start crying. Why? Because of how lucky you are to have such a loving boyfriend in your life.

“I’ve been probably acting like a complete fool and you’re still taking care of me. I don’t deserve you.”  

Anytime you get like that, Gavin will hold you against his chest so you can hear the steady beat of his heart. 

“No matter what you do, I’ll never see you differently. All of you is perfect even your imperfections.” If he throws out an “I love you” you’ll be crying harder than before, because wow...you really hit the jackpot with this man.

Makes you drink water before going to bed. 

You wake up to another glass of water and pain medication by your bedside and a not so happy Gavin hovering over you with a nauseating looking smoothie concoction. 

Victor

A drunk you is almost as bad as dealing with you when you’re sober. You found enjoyment in contradicting him and it was worse when you were drunk. 

“I told you not to get ahead of yourself, dummy”

“And I told you I know what I’m doing. You should’ve known better than to listen to me, DUMMY. ”

You’re very honest when you’re drunk so Victor learns quite a lot about your true feelings. He’ll never probe you for information. He just lets you ramble until you pass out. 

 Your ramblings range from your fears about meeting up to his expectations to dreams for your future with him. 

“My boss is so mean to me! He’s always making me do over my reports and calls me a dummy all the time! It takes a dummy to recognize a dummy, so he’s a dummy too! A good-looking dummy who put his business on the line for me so I could succeed....I don’t like him!” 

You’re also very affectionate. You’ll do everything you can to snuggle up to the man while lightly kissing anywhere from the his cheeks to the pads of his fingers.

Victor welcomes the affection but likes to act bothered by it because you’re supposed to be sleeping! 

Will do almost anything you ask in order to make you feel comfortable. 

Tummy rubs are the only thing that can can put you to sleep? He’ll do it with just a little bit of complaining on his part. 

“I don’t see how this helps, but if it can get you to sleep...” 

Breakfast will consist of anything that can help with your hangover, made by yours truly. 

Lucien

The most prepared and can easily sober you up. He just chooses not to so he can have ammunition to tease you later on. 

But don’t worry, Lucien takes very good care of you. 

Lucien has you changed into your nightwear and tucked into bed before you realize whats happening. 

Another one to let you ramble about about who knows what. 

You can go from talking about the meaning of your existence to what kind of wedding dress you want and Lucien won’t stop you. If anything, he’s amused by you. 

He’ll even join in on your topics and for some reason you’ll be so amazed by his intellect. 

“Wow! Has anyone ever told you that you’re super smart?! You should quit your job and become a professor!” 

Lucien will simply laugh.   

He finds you so adorable with your flushed cheeks and small giggles after he says something that’s not even remotely funny. 

Will sit by your bedside and watch you sleep for a bit.

Helps you nurse your hangover in the morning while teasing you about all the things you said the night before.  

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Finished! If you guys want to read more of my work check them out here!

Also, I never know if you guys want me to include Shaw in these things, so please let me know if you want him a part of this as well! 

[driversmutbucket]

Kitten XI

Hey! It’s me! Sorry about the impromptu hiatus, but, ya know, life.

Kylo Ren AU x Reader

Warning: NSFW, minimal plot - maximum smut, eating assssssss, spanking (with belt), oral sex.

💋💋💋💋

1 year later

You pulled the fridge door open with such force that Kylo looked over from where he was making a coffee.

Grabbing a bottle of Pinot Gris from in the door you were aware, in your peripheral vision, of Kylo’s eyebrows shooting into his hairline.

“Not this time then?” He asked gently.

“Obviously!” You snapped, a surge of venomous anger washing over you.

You pulled out a wine glass and slammed the cupboard door shut.

“Kitten.”

The tenderness in his voice was all it took. You burst into tears- guttural, gasping sobs.

“I don’t-...why-...” you tried.

His arms were around you within seconds, pulling you into the warmth of his chest, hands rubbing soothing circles on your back.

—

Infertility was a bitch.

You never had any indication, apart from being the wrong side of 30, that you would have any trouble conceiving.

There was nothing wrong per se, with either of your reproductive systems. It just wasn’t happening.

You had tried for 6 months au natural.

Now, you had a regime of pills and injections that had taken over your life.

Sex had become monotonous.

You had never been more miserable.

—

“I can’t do this anymore.” You sniffed, “I feel sick all the time, my moods are completely erratic, Kylo, I can’t….i’m so…. ” tears were threatening to spill out of your eyes again.

You were snuggled up on the sofa, Kylo stroking your hair, your head resting against his chest, the beating of his heart calming you.

“You’re done, I can see that, it’s ok,” He soothed, “i want my happy wife back.”

“You’re not disappointed?” You asked in a small voice.

“Not in you, never in you, babe, but I’m really fucking certain there is no God.”

You snorted, breaking into a small smile.

—

It was like you both breathed an unspoken sigh of relief, after putting conception on hold. You gleefully packed away a pharmacy worth of medications and ovulation strips and deleted the multiple apps off your phone. Good riddance.

It wasn’t that you weren’t sad, of course you were, but there was also a part of you that was content with letting the universe decide.

Now you were on a mission to get your sex life back. The one that had been smothered under expectation, ovulation cycles and pharmaceuticals.

You hadn’t had sex in 2 weeks. The longest you had ever gone in your relationship. There was a sense that perhaps you were both decompressing from the intensity of the last 6 months. The clinical, downright boring, let’s-get-this-done sex to try and conceive. And my god, quantity was certainly not better than quality.

Tonight you were making an effort, having even finished work early and had your hair done. It had been woefully neglected.

The idea had been sparked by a dress in the back of your closet that you had caught sight of this morning. You had worn it the first time you met Kylo. It was black, tight in all the right places with a plunging neckline, surprisingly it was in one piece, despite being almost ripped from your body that night. You smirked at the memory.

—

Pulling open the door to the bar, you scanned the dim room for your husband.

You spotted him in a back corner booth, in head to toe black. His handsomeness still gave you butterflies. The way his dress shirt buttons strained just a fraction due his broad physique and his ability to dwarf the majority of furniture made you bite your lip and squeeze your thighs.

Kylo looked up and saw you when you were a few feet from the table.

He froze, slowly placing down his drink, jaw slackened.

Good.

Hair freshly styled, a fair whack of makeup and a sexy outfit had you feeling like a new woman.

You had forgone underwear, the bodice of the dress was tight enough to squish your breasts in place, the plunge of the neckline ending a few inches above your belly button. Long sleeves and a knee length hem kept the garment in the realm of tasteful. You opted for black stilettos, even though they were hell to walk in, you knew he loved them.

“Jesus Christ.” He half choked as you say down next to him.

His eyes lingered briefly on your cleavage before drifting up to the dainty gold necklace he had given you on your wedding night.

“Hello, Sir.” You purred, unable to suppress a grin.

His eyes flashed in acknowledgement as he recognized the dress you were wearing.

“Kitten.” His voice was almost a growl.

You picked up the drink he had pre-ordered you, sipping and meeting his searing gaze.

You leaned into him, placing a hand on his thigh,so your lips were right beside his ear.

“When I have finished this drink, I want you to take me home, and fuck me like you did before you knew my name.” You whispered, grazing your lips along his jaw and placing a quick kiss on his lips.

A smirk slowly appeared on his face as you took another sip of your drink, watching him.

“That depends.” He mused, picking up his glass and swirling the dregs of an old fashioned.

You raised an eyebrow, as his hand trailed up your thigh.

“Are you going to be a good girl?”

He felt you clench, his large hand was rubbing soft circles at the top of your thigh. His smirk only got bigger.

“Yes, sir.” You nodded.

“Then be a good girl and finish that drink, before I get us arrested for indecent exposure.” He quipped, before draining his cup.

You all but gulped down the cocktail.

You walked with Kylo to the bar, his hand rested on the small of your back.

As he handed over his card to pay, the hand drifted down and squeezed your butt, before patting it softly.

You looked up at him with a grin, “subtle.”

“Don’t get mouthy with me, Kitten.” He warned in a low murmur.

Entwining hands, you walked out into the night air to begin the short walk home.

-

You had walked as fast as your stilettos had allowed. Kylo was near striding, which had you giggling and cursing as you tried to keep his pace.

“Thank god!” You gasped, staggering into the elevator, behind Kylo, slightly puffed.

Kylo leant against the opposite wall of the elevator, eyes raking over your body.

“I’m not wearing any underwear.” You offered cheekily.

His eyes snapped up to yours almost in time with the elevator opening at your floor.

You exited before him with a grin, hightailing it to your door.

You toyed with his belt, grazing his growing bulge with your fingers as he fumbled with lock on the front door.

“Fucking brat, you have no patience.” He hissed, finally getting the door unlocked and pushing you inside.

“Says you, who dragged me home.” You countered, looking up at him.

He cupped your jaw and ran his thumb roughly across your lips. “You better be naked by the time I get to the bedroom Kitten. But leave those shoes on.” He pushed his thumb into your mouth, and you sucked it greedily.

“I need to think about how I’m going to punish you for being so mouthy.” He outright grinned as he pulled his hand away and turned you in the direction of the bedroom, smacking your ass.

You walked with an exaggerated sway of your hips. Pulling down the zip of your dress as you went. You could feel his eyes burning into your back.

-

Walking into the bedroom you kicked off the dress and bent yourself over, resting your elbows on the bed. You knew your legs looked great in these heels.

You were wet from the anticipation alone.

You shivered with excitement as you heard his footsteps.

You could feel him behind you, heard his belt being undone. You stayed still and quiet, like a good girl.

You jerked as the cold leather of his belt was dragged over your cunt, he slapped your clit with the doubled-over belt. Not hard, but enough to make you gasp.

“Soaking.” Kylo murmured.

He cracked the belt on your ass, you yelped at the sharp pain that quickly gave way to a wave of pleasure.

“Good girl.”

Another. You didn’t yelp this time, just uttered a guttural moan.

It seemed his patience was limited, you heard the belt be dropped on the floor before he took an ass cheek in each hand and squeezed.

“Kitten, you look so perfect bent over for me in those heels, this peachy ass- fuck!” His voice was rough.

“Thank you, Si- oh god!”

Kylo buried his face between your legs. You peeked back, he was fully clothed, on his knees, and you doubted you had seen anything more erotic.

He ran his hands up and down your legs, as his tongue probed your entrance.

You pushed back against his face unconsciously.

His hands traveled up and kneaded your butt cheeks again, spreading them, your whimpers of pleasure morphed to filthy moans as his tongue dragged upwards and he must have been spurred on, because he began to eat your ass with enthusiasm.

Your legs were shaking, you hadn’t experienced pleasure like this in, what? Months? God, you had forgotten how good it could be.

You whimpered as he pulled away.

“Lay down, baby girl, give those legs a rest, you’ve done so well, Kitten.” He murmured, guiding your shaking body to the bed, “need to make you cum before I fuck you.”

Laying on your back you had hardly caught your breath before Kylo pushed your legs open again and wrapped his plush lips around your clit.

You arched your back with a moan as he plunged two fingers into your warmth and sucked your clit.

“Ohfuckohgodbabyplease!”

Another finger and a subtle change of angle had you orgasming so hard your eyes watered and a rather large gush-

“Holy shit!” You yelped.

“That was…...so hot.” Kylo said huskily.

His pupils were blown, hair rumpled, and he was still fully clothed as he looked at you from between your legs.

“A lot of pent up orgasms.” You mumbled sheepishly.

You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you had climaxed - as sad as that was.

“I know babe, I’m so sorry, fuck, we just…..” he sighed with a look of anguish.

“It’s ok, it’s over with.” You reassured him. “Now can you please hurry up and get naked?”

The smirk returned, “I’ve missed this.”

Kylo placed some quick kisses down your thighs before standing up and beginning to strip off his clothes.

You watched, propping yourself up on your elbows, smuggly thinking, that is my husband.

“Are you gonna let me ride you?” You asked, eyes fixated on Kylo’s cock as it was released from the confinement of his trunks.

You had had enough missionary let’s-get-this-done sex to last a life time.

He didn’t answer, instead, he sat against the headboard. You crawled over to him, as he slowly pumped his cock.

You straddled him eagerly, batting his hand away from his cock and quickly replacing it with your own.

He cupped your butt as you hovered, lining yourself up.

“God, I love you.” He breathed, eyes roaming your body.

You beamed at him before easing down onto his cock with a sharp inhale.

“Mmmmph fuck! So good.” You kissed his lips gently as you rolled your hips experimentally, “I love you too.”

He squeezed the flesh of your buttocks, helping you fuck yourself on his cock.

You buried your hands in his hair, and kissed him. You hadn’t kissed with urgent, fiery lust in weeks. Within seconds you were moaning into each other’s mouths as your tongues did a well rehearsed dance. Nipping and sucking each other’s lips as your movements on his cock became more frantic.

“Not gonna last.” Kylo panted, pulling away from your mouth.

“Don’t care.” You whimpered, “please touch me.”

One of his hands moved to your front and dipped in between your bodies, seeking your sensitive clit.

“There! Hnnngh!” You cried as he began rubbing tight circles.

Your forehead dropped to rest on his shoulder as you felt his hips stutter, he came with a groan beneath you. You placed little kisses down his neck as he let his head rest back against the headboard.

The second orgasm that washed over you was less intense but just as magical, your toes curling while you made little noises of pleasure into Kylo's neck.

-

“We are never having sex for the sake of it again,” You mumbled, snuggling into your spent husband, “not when it can be like that.”

“Never.” He vowed.

———

Tag list: @reyloaddict55 @candycanes19 @jediminddicks1000 @finn-ray-nal-beads @maybe-your-left @thegreenmatt @morby @sydneyssmut @contesa-lui-alucard  @millenialcatlady

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

The Love Cruise - by GleefullyCaptainSwan

Read on AO3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Or on FF

Tagging:   @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda

Chapter 4: Captain Jones

“Do you think Barbados is ready for me?” Ruby stood, showing off her tanned body in her new bikini.

“Girl, I don’t think anyone is ready for you in that. Where’s the rest of it?” She spun around and Emma fanned herself, teasing her friend.

“Why are you wearing so many layers?”

Emma tugged her cover up tighter around her waist. “Not everyone can flaunt it like you can. I look like they lock me in the closet during the day and my body never sees the sunlight.”

“Oh stop, you’re sexy as hell, Emma. I’ve seen more than a few guys turning their heads when you walk by, though usually you are running away from them so they can’t catch you.”

“Whatever, I told you I’m not interested in finding a guy on this damn cruise.”

“Not even that guy, Graham, that asked you to dance?”

Emma scrunched her nose and shook her head. “He’s cute, and a great dancer, but, eh, I don’t know.”

“You know, he’s going to be with us today?”

“What? How do you know?”

“Because I talked to him after dinner and he’s on the same excursion we are.”

“If you’re so interested in him, why don’t you hook up with him?”

“I would if he wasn’t asking about you half the time.”

Emma groaned. “Can we just go? I don’t want to talk about men all damn day. I want to enjoy the beach, the sand, the ocean in Barbados. We are in fucking Barbados, Ruby. Together. When we are back in Boston and it’s raining, will we have these men to keep us warm? No, but we will have each other.”

“Ho’s before bro’s?” She giggled as Will walked into their room.

“Do I get to be a ho?”

“You are by far the biggest ho, William!” Emma laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Are you still mad at me?” She planted her lips on his cheek and he groaned, wiping the pink smudge off his face.

“I’m not bloody happy with you, but what’s a bloke to do? You’re my best friend and I can’t stay mad at ya.” He put his finger up to her face, “But don’t do that shit again. That girl won’t stop asking me about rum recipes now.”

“You didn’t seem too upset when she kept telling you how talented you were at the bar last night.”

“Wait, what did I miss?” Emma looked between the pair on either side of her.

“One of the bartenders let him make our drinks at the piano bar. You should have seen him playing it up, flipping bottles, acting like a goddamn bar hero. He was on his game.”

“I’m fucking talented as hell, that had nothing to do with that lass.”

“You were showing off.” Emma teased. “You do like her.”

“I do not.” He resisted, less forcefully than he had the day before. Emma was sure he liked her, but she was also sure that he was probably feeling guilty about liking her also.

“You know it’s ok to like another girl, Will.” Emma slid her hand onto the back of his head, pressing his forehead to hers. “Ana’s gone. You deserve to have some fun.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “Why are you ladies always pushing me so hard to move on from Ana? What if I don’t want to move on?”

“You don’t want to move on because you’re too afraid to open yourself up again and maybe get hurt.”

“Besides, we love you, Boo.” Ruby added, wrapping her arms around them both.

“No Boo. You both promised, not here.” His mouth turned up in a grin. “But I love you guys too.”

~*~

“Absolutely not.” Regina stood with her arms crossed in front of her.

“You can’t work 24 hours a day, we get to leave the ship for a few hours, are you really going to deny this simply because I’m going?” Robin whined.

“Yes.” She said matter-of-factly.

“Ok enough of this, we’re going.” Killian gestured to Robin before turning around and pointing at Regina, “And you’re coming with us. Captain’s orders.”

“You can’t do that.”

Killian shrugged, “I just did. I’m not going to have my Cruise Director burned out 4 days into our voyage, we are going to imbibe in some alcoholic beverages in Barbados.”

“Fine, but it is under duress.”

“At least that will be two of us on this bloody cruise under duress.” He winked at Robin and the three of them left the ship in search of a good bar.

Being the Captain did have its perks, they were directed to apparently the best bar on the beach they could find and an hour later, sitting with their feet in the sand and a bucket of beer, the three of them found themselves engaging in nonviolent conversations.

Regina was laughing, “Wait, so you were just going to leave him there?”

“Of course, I was, he was about to start a riot.” Killian said as he felt tears well up in the corners of his eyes, his body shaking from his laughter.

“Do you remember what I said to the guy?”

They both looked at each other and spoke in unison. “The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.”

“Which one of you got punched first.” Regina eyed them with curiosity.

Robin raised his hand. “I ended up on the pool table. Killian tossed one of the guys into a stool. By that point, the manager threw us all out.”

“That was the last time we insulted the Captain’s son again.”

“You two really are idiots.” Regina quipped as she took another sip of her beer.

“But we had you laughing.” Robin winked.

“Only because I was imagining you getting your ass kicked.”

Killian nursed his beer, watching the two of them doing what he could only describe as violent flirting, until he started to feel like a third wheel.

“I’ll be back.” He announced, heading inside toward the bar, and discreetly paying the tab. “If they get anything else, just put it on the same card.”

Killian exited the bar and walked through the small town, browsing the shops until he followed the path toward the beach. He saw groups of travelers lounging on the sand or sailing on the water, most likely passengers on his ship.

He toed off his shoes and walked barefoot through the sand, looking up he saw her, laying on a towel, an oversized hat perched on her blonde locks, reading a book. She was gorgeous. Her friend, a tall brunette he had seen her with earlier was wearing a very tiny bikini, arching her back and taking in the rays to her already sun kissed skin.

There were others with them, the man she was laughing with earlier stood nearby talking to a shorter woman. A taller man with wavy hair was sitting just off to the side of Emma, he glanced at her often, but Emma seemed not to take notice, her head buried in the words in front of her.

He continued to walk along the wet sand, observing the woman who had captured his attention when she looked up, glancing at the waves out beyond him. He looked away quickly, reaching down to pick up a shell he nearly stepped on. When he looked up again, she was gone.

~*~

Emma was reading the same line over and over again in her book, trying to avoid the gaze of Graham, who was seated to her right. At first, she thought he was looking at Ruby, God knows if she were a hot-blooded man, she would be. But when she caught his eye, he smiled at her and attempted to make conversation. Emma froze and immediately buried her head in her book.

It’s not that she didn’t think he was attractive and extremely nice; she just didn’t know what to say to him. She knew he was a Sheriff in some small town in Maine and that her brother thought he was quite impressive, which made her not want to talk to him even more than she had before her brother started pointing out all the things they had in common.

She peered up from her book, a feeling washing over her like she was being watched. She peeked to her right, but Graham was talking to David and Will was finally having a real conversation with Belle as they bounced a volleyball back and forth between them.

Her eyes scanned the beach when she saw him picking up shells near the water. He seemed to look her way and then turned back toward the ocean.

“I’m gonna go dip my toes in the water.” She announced suddenly to Ruby who was currently lying ass up on the towel beside her.

“Have fun.” She replied lazily.

She jogged toward Killian who was facing the ocean now and skipped up behind him. “Are you considering throwing yourself in because if you are, I actually do know how to swim, in case you need saving.”

He turned suddenly and his bright smile made her heart skip a beat.

“Swan, fancy meeting you here.”

“Did you go on an excursion today?”

“No, I hung out at one of the bars a little way down the beach.” He pointed behind him.

“Drinking alone?”

“Oh, no I went with a few friends.”

“I didn’t realize you came with people. Or did you meet them here?”

“My buddy…” He paused. “Um, my buddy and I came together.”

“Did you ditch him?” She asked looking around for his friend.

“He is entertaining a lass back at the bar, felt like a third wheel. Have you been on the beach all day?”

“My brother dragged us all sail boarding, so I’m gonna be really sore tomorrow considering all the times I fell into the water, but it was a really good day.”

He smiled at her, his eyes crinkling as the sun beat down on him. “That sounds like you had a lot of fun.”

“Do you maybe want to get a drink later tonight?” She blurted out, wondering where that blast of courage came from.

He looked at his feet and she panicked. “I uh, I think I need to tell you something first.”

“Oh?” Suddenly there was screaming behind her on the beach and she turned to see Ruby yelling and running toward a group of people. “Oh, shit, I gotta…” She turned and ran toward Ruby, looking down the beach to what was causing her so much stress. August was lying on the ground, holding his leg.

“Oh God what happened?”

“We were playing volleyball and the old man slipped, I think he twisted his ankle.” Will said in a slight panic.

“I’m ok guys.” August groaned, “I think I just sprained it.” He stood up and then stepped down, immediately falling back down to his knees.

“Ok Mate, you’re gonna need help back to the ship, you’ll need the medic to take a look at that ankle.”

She was shocked when Killian sprung into the middle of the group, helping August to his feet. “Should we all go?” Ruby asked August.

“No, you guys stay here, have fun. I’ll just go back and make sure everything is ok.” August waved them all off.

“I’ll go with him; the sun is starting to burn my skin.” Emma announced and Killian made eye contact with her, a smile forming on his lips.

Emma stood on the other side of August, wrapping her arm around him to help support his other side. “Come on dad, let’s get you to a doctor.”

“Very funny, Emma.” He chided her and Killian laughed.

“You sure you don’t mind going back to the ship?” She asked Killian.

“Absolutely, it’s important that all the passengers are taken care of.” Emma looked at him quizzically but continued walking toward the pier.

~*~

Killian knew he should have just told her he was the damn Captain when they first met. He tried to tell her at the beach and then her friend got hurt and as Captain it was important that he took the man back to the ship, his passengers health always came first over innocent flirting with one of the women on his ship.

Once they made it to the infirmary, he spotted Tink at the back of the bay. He waved her over and she jumped into action.

“Jones, have you started combing the ship for injured passengers now?”

He laughed nervously, avoiding eye contact with Emma. “I believe we have a twisted ankle.” He helped get the man up on the bed.

“Name?” Tink questioned as she pulled up her iPad to search the passenger list.

“August Booth.”

Killian backed up against the wall and watched as she examined his ankle. He observed Emma asking questions, checking to ensure that he was going to be ok and he slowly backed out of the room. He’d tell Emma later about being the Captain, right now she had more important things to tend to.

~*~

“So, it looks like it’s just sprained.” She ran her hand over his ankle again and Emma couldn’t help but notice the way August watched the nurse in awe.

“Well, does that mean I have to spend all my time down here in the infirmary now?” He joked innocently.

Tink laughed, “Well only if you want to.” She teased and Emma suddenly felt like she was invading a private moment.

That’s when Emma noticed that Killian was no longer in the room. “Oh, did you see where the guy who helped us went?”

Tink looked up and laughed. “Jones? Pretty sure he probably went back to the bridge.”

“The bridge? What bridge would that be?”

“Of the boat, did you hit your head or something. That’s where the Captain usually is when we are getting close to leaving port.”

“Captain?”

“You are talking about Captain Jones, right? The guy you came in with?” She pointed haphazardly toward the wall of photos behind her before turning back to August to wrap his ankle.

Emma walked up to the wall and immediately recognized the blue eyes in the largest photo in the center. Her heart was racing as she read the inscription under the portrait.

Captain Killian Jones

Holy Shit!

~*~

“Ok spill.” Emma turned to look at Ruby who was staring at her from across the room as they got ready for dinner.

“Spill what?”

“Who is he?”

“Who is who?” Emma turned back toward the mirror; confusion littered across her face.

“The hot drink of water you found on the beach; you know who I’m talking about.” Ruby glared at her with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

“What, the guy who helped August? Good Samaritan, I guess.” She shrugged nonchalantly.

“Bullshit, I was watching you before all that happened, you went directly to him on the beach.”

“What, are you spying on me now?” She accused.

“Out with it.”

Emma sighed. “He’s just some guy I keep running into. That’s all.” Emma put on her shawl and headed to the door, effectively ending the conversation.

“Ok keep your secrets.” She said with her eyes narrowed, joining her in the hall as they headed to the dining hall.

Their dinner passed by quickly, the saying was true that time would fly when you were having fun, as Emma was starting to enjoy sitting down to eat with her friends every evening. Even the newcomers were starting to fit in with everyone. Will and Belle had warmed up to each other. They were sitting quietly at the end of the table, Will trying to demonstrate how to flip a bottle without dropping it. Belle would giggle and follow his every move and he would reward her with a new blush to his cheeks.

Her brother and Mary Margaret had become inseparable, however the small kiss he gave her after dinner was a new development. August left dinner early stating that he needed to head back to the infirmary for a checkup on his ankle, though Emma was sure the visit was more to do with the cute blonde nurse than his ankle.

After dinner, the remaining group decided to relocate to the piano bar on the deck above them for a night cap. The music was enjoyable, and the bar wasn’t crowed which allowed them to spread out into different areas of the room.

“I think he likes you.” Emma set her drink down and looked over at her brother who was sitting beside her.

“Who?” David looked toward the bar and she spotted Graham looking in her direction. “Oh, he’s nice. I guess.”

“You guess? Emma, he’s a really nice guy. Did you know he’s a Sheriff in the town that Mary Margaret and Belle are from?”

“Small world.” She said softly, taking a sip of her drink and peering around the bar.

“Waiting for something better?” He questioned.

“Why would I be waiting for anything? I already told all of you that I’m not interested in finding anything here.”

“Emma, it’s been 7 years since Neal ran off, don’t you think it’s time you stop punishing yourself and think about what might be out there for you and Henry?”

“Punishing myself?” Her annoyance was rising.

“That’s not what I meant. Not really, I mean, not exactly. I just feel like you punish yourself for Neal leaving. It wasn’t your fault. You deserve to be happy, sis.”

“I love you Dave, I do. And I’m really happy that you seem to have found something on this ship that you are interested in, but please, let me handle my own happiness.”

“Alright, I’ll back off.” He said with a grin.

He went back to his date and Ruby slid up beside her. “Is he trying to get you to sleep with Graham, because if he is, do you want company?”

“Ruby!” She exclaimed, “how much have you had to drink?”

“Enough that I would take him right there on the bar.”

“Dare.” Emma smirked at her, knowing that Ruby never backed down from a dare.

Ruby’s mouth went from wide open to a firm line of determination, getting up from her seat and sauntering over to the bar. Emma looked around at all her friends, each of them distracted with other people and she took the moment to sneak out without notice.

She found herself wandering the lido deck in the dark, her drink from the bar still in her hand as she sipped it through the straw with the tiny umbrella attached. She told herself she wasn’t looking for him but that didn’t stop the disappointment she felt when she didn’t find him either.

~*~

“Everything is under control, Captain. You don’t have to stay up here if you would like to rest.”

“Thank you, Smee. I guess I just wasn’t ready to head to my quarters.” He stared out at the deck of the ship below him, there was a small group of passengers wandering her planks. A wave of blonde hair caught his attention, her hips swaying back and forth in the night breeze. “On second thought, I think I’m going to retire for the evening.”

Perhaps now was as good a time as any to confess to her who he was. He bounded down the stairs and shoved open the doors to the Lido deck. He headed in the direction she was last seen, but the deck was empty. Disappointed, he realized she may have already gone back inside.

“Captain Jones.”

He spun around to see her standing against the wall of the ship. “Ah, I guess I’m busted.” He said with a sigh. “Let me guess, Lady Bell clued you in? I swear to you I was going to tell you on the beach today.” He said honestly. “But then…”

“Then August’s old man body turned to wood and he required medical assistance.” She joked.

“Yes, that. Forgive me for being less than honest?”

“Only if you tell me why you didn’t just tell me the first day.”

“That’s fair. My friend Robin pretty much convinced me to take this job, I was less than thrilled about the theme of this cruise, and well, I was just happy to talk to someone else who seemed to be forced to be here as well.”

She shook her head in understanding. “So, you’re really the Captain huh?” She walked closer to him, her fingers trailing the sleeve of his shirt as she traced the stripes on his arm.

“Aye.”

“I should have known when you rattled off all those facts about the ship. No one else would have paid that much attention.”

“Actually, you all should pay attention to that information.” His tone serious.

“Yes, Captain.” She smirked with a mock salute and he swallowed hard.

“I won’t put up with any sass on my watch.” He teased as they fell into step walking along the deck.

“So, how’d you become a Captain?”

“My brother convinced me to join the Navy when we were just lads, the sea became my mistress as soon as I met her. I was captivated by her tempestuous nature. On the surface she could be rough and demanding, but beneath the surface she’s calm and inviting.”

“So your brother is a Captain too?”

“He was, yes.” He paused, leaning on the rail for support. “He not with us anymore.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“He was the best Captain to ever sail the seas. He’s out there somewhere.” He pointed to the horizon. “He’s a better man than I’ll ever be.”

“Well considering you are the Captain of the ship I currently find myself on, I hope you’re the best Captain we can ask for.”

“I wouldn’t even have had the chance to Captain such a vessel if not for my brother.” He looked over at her unsure of why he was suddenly freely sharing information he would rarely share with another.

“Did he teach you?”

“He taught me everything I know. How to be a good Captain, a good sailor, and a good man.”

“When did he pass?”

“Two years ago. We were at sea, on a mission, there was a fire, I was in the engine room when it exploded. We were taking on water and I needed to seal off the leak. I sent everyone out, I expected it to be the last good deed I ever did. But he found me, dragged me out of the pits of that ship and got me on the rescue boat.”

“Wow.” Emma was staring at him in a shocked silence.

“He went back in for the rest of his crew.”

“Because you don’t leave a man behind.” She said seemingly with a sudden understanding of their earlier conversation.

“Aye.” He nodded but didn’t continue.

“That must have been really tough.”

“One of the worst nights of my life.”

“Looks like you made the most of it though. Look at you now.” She smiled softly.

“Perhaps.”

“Wow, you’re worse than me with the martyr stuff.” She laughed and he wanted to crawl into the void where her laughter filled the air and stay there forever. “I think you should try being a little easier on yourself and trust me, coming from me, that says a lot.”

“I’ll take that under consideration.” He smiled and she glanced around.

“I should get back before my friends send out a search party.”

“We can’t have that on my ship.” He smirked.

“I’ll see you around, Captain.” She said as she walked back toward the door, turning back to offer him a shy smile before she disappeared into the belly of his ship.

Perhaps this cruise wasn’t the worst idea Robin ever had after all.

[venusandromedadjarin]

For The Cause

Alive, part one

18+, language, violence, talk of death, slight blood, mentions of !suicide, mention of suicidal!thoughts, angst, anger, sadness, injuries, sexual tension, just a whole lot of angry Poe and his sad wife but I promise it gets better, 2.6k words

Disclaimer: This is in no way meant to imply that sex fixes things. It’s just a head canon that I’ve had for awhile and wanted to write out. 

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts and depression please know you are not alone and this is a safe space to talk. ILY.

“FUCK!” Poe Dameron’s deep voice makes you flinch as it comes through the headset. You yank up on the controls of your X-Wing, doing your best to fly up and over the explosion in front of you. The Tie Fighter didn’t have a chance against your aim, but Poe’s string of expletives make you crane your neck around, trying to find out what he’s yelling about. You finally catch sight of him, swerving in and out of the asteroid field. 

He’s on fucking fire, is all you can think as you punch the joystick forward, praying under your breath that you can cover him before his left thruster blows. His stubbornness makes you grit your teeth as he continues shooting at the Fighter he’s following instead of getting the hell out of your way and getting to safety. Someone whoops through the headset and you see another explosion to your right. Pushing it out of your mind, you force your X-Wing forward, grunting under the turbulence as you blast through the asteroid field, almost slamming into his flaming starship.

“Poe, get the fuck out of my way!” You don’t even bother trying to use his call sign, your only focus on covering his ass long enough so he can circle back to the base. From your count, there’s two more Tie Fighters that you and Red-Six can cover on your own. 

The ship whines, jolting underneath you, just as you lock on to one of the two Fighters. A few seconds later, it’s being blown apart by your canons. Vaguely, you hear him yelling your name over the coms as you circle around to aid Red-Six. But all too suddenly, right before she lands a shot on the Fighter you’re both aiming at, your X-Wing starts screeching. The system emits a god awful noise as you frantically look around, trying to figure out what’s blown or damaged. 

“It’s cleared, head back, now,” his frantic voice bursts through the headset again and the pilots swoop up and out of all the debris, beelining it to the landing pad on the planet below. The joystick jolts in your hands as you try to fly steady, the screeching continuing to echo through the cockpit. You see smoke billowing around you and finally realize the damage is to one of your engines. 

By the grace of the Maker, you’re able to roughly land right before it shudders and explodes on the side. Your X-Wing rocks, the blast making your ear drums ring as you’re knocked against the glass. There’s a lot of yelling below you on the ground, but it sounds muffled as the canopy slides open and someone grabs you, throwing you over their shoulder and scrambling down the ladder before your ship get soaked in fire retardant. You groan, immediately thinking of how annoying it will be to clean it tomorrow. Whoever’s holding you slowly sets you down on your feet, supporting you when your knees buckle from the pain that shoots through your head. Blinking your eyes open, you look up at Red-Ten as he towers over you. His lips are moving, but you can’t coherently hear him so you just squint up at him and shake your head. With shaky hands, you reach up and remove your helmet, holding it to your chest as he continues speaking garbled noises. 

You jump when a helmet hits the concrete near you and look up with wide eyes to see Poe screaming at Red-Six, pointing towards you. He’s red in the face, chest heaving as he berates the woman. She doesn’t say anything, just crosses her arms over her chest and sways her weight between her feet. As General Organa hastily approaches, pushing through the throng of people now watching, your hearing starts to come back in bits and pieces. 

“Black-Leader, you … scream … fellow pilot … way. If … something too …  civilized for Maker’s sake… not her fault, nor … Three’s. That Tie … have shot any … out of the sky … it hadn’t … for Red-Six … have made it back … off … high horse and … wife for being smart … cover you,” she jabs Poe in the chest with her finger, “before risking … for … pilots.” 

Red-Ten’s large fingers snapping together in front of your face draws you back to the man in front of you and you look up at him once more.

“… Three … hear me?”

Your voice sounds garbled as you try to answer him back, “Y-yeah. Little bit.” He nods sharply, wrapping a large hand around your elbow and leading you inside the base towards the medical bay. You stretch to look back at Poe and he meets your eyes finally as General Organa continues to reprimand him. His gaze softens when he sees you’re walking on your own right before the doors close behind you. 

Thirty minutes later, the Bacta spray has restored your hearing and cured the throbbing headache you had. You’re still sitting on a bed in the medical bay, one of the nurses fussing over your chart as you try to get her to discharge you. “I promise I’m fine,” you huff out, crossing your arms sternly as she tries to prod your chest with her stethoscope. “Can I please leave? I just want to shower and get the blood out of my hair. I already said I’m fine.”

The nurse grumbles at you in another language and you scoff, gently pushing her away from you and hopping of the bed. She finally leaves, mumbling some more. You tightly tie the arms of your flight suit around your waist before slipping back into your boots. Looking around, you make sure she’s actually gone before glancing over your chart to make sure you’re actually fine. Seeing nothing that should raise alarm, you quickly exit the bay and stomp down the hall towards the Officer’s showers. 

General Organa stops you before you get there and you snap to attention, your helmet clunking against your knee in your haste. You do your best not to cringe. She waves you off quickly, “At ease, Sergeant. I wanted to catch you before meal time, I’m sure you’ll have a line of people lining up to buy you drinks.” Relaxing a tiny bit, you shift on your feet, waiting for her to go on. “Your flying today was phenomenal. Even with all of the damage, no one was lost today, and that’s a small win, but a win all the same.” She pauses again, before reaching out to gently touch your arm, “I wanted to personally ask if you’re okay, seeing Commander Dameron catch fire before almost exploding yourself… can’t be easy.”

You chuckle humorlessly, appreciating the woman in front of you. You can see the fondness in her eyes, and you hope she can see the same in yours. “Ma’am, I think I did explode.” 

She laughs, a light sound that bounces off the walls, so opposite of the noises that are usually on the base, “That you did. Thank you for your fearlessness, Sergeant. The Resistance is lucky to have you.” You smile at her as she waves you off before turning to leave, signaling not to salute her. “I hope to see you at dinner, if you aren’t too distracted before hand,” she calls over her shoulder, heading back down the hallway. Her comment makes you blush as you hastily turn to continue the trek towards the showers. 

It’s already humid and the steams rolls through the locker room as you step inside. You faintly hear water running and soft humming, but you ignore it as you spin the lock on your locker before yanking it open. Stepping out of your boots, you kick them inside, the dull clunk echoing before untying the orange sleeves at your waist. You push the thick fabric the rest of the way down, slipping it down your legs before shoving it into the metal cubby as well. It’s quickly followed by your undershirt and shorts, and then your undergarments. Grabbing your towel and shower bag, you close it and pad towards the right side of the showers, not bothering to check who’s on the left. It’s empty save for you and whoever it is. While you wait for the water to warm up, the person leaves and you hear the faint clunk of the locker opening and closing before the main door. 

The hot water feels heavenly against your soot stained skin, and you watch as the blood from your hair swirls with the water in the drain. Once it’s clear, you just lean into the stream and close your eyes, the steam billowing around you. The door opens again and a few moments later, someone pads into the showers. 

“I swear to the Maker, woman. You’ll kill me before anyone from the First Order does.” Poe’s hands grip your hips tightly enough to leave bruises, but you keep your eyes closed as he berates you for the stunt you pulled, “You could’ve been killed. You can’t always put your life on the line for everyone else. You can’t fly into every situation full throttle without thinking. Even if it’s me you’re flying towards. What if Red-Six hadn’t of shot that Tie Fighter when she did? What if they would’ve gotten another shot off?”

“But they didn’t,” you say quietly, your eyes still closed.

“They didn’t this time. But you can’t do this in every fight. The Resistance can’t lose you. I can’t lose you.” His voice breaks at the end, but his grip stays firm on your hips as you open your eyes, blinking up at him.

“You won’t,” you whisper as you reach up to cup his cheek.

“You can’t keep doing this. It’s like you have no care for your own life. ” Poe’s voice is low, so low you can practically hear the way it rumbles through his chest. Your retort dies on your tongue as he rips himself away from you when the door opens again. He quickly and silently pads to other side of the showers and turns one on, stepping under the stream. You watch as his shoulders heave, his tension visible in the way he holds himself. 

One of the ground control crew members enters the shower next to you, flicking you an easy salute and you nod, hastily grabbing your shampoo and scrubbing your hair. You wash your body quickly and turn the shower off, grumpily padding back to the locker with your towel wrapped around you. Not bothering to grab any of your stuff, you slam the door and practically run to yours and Poe’s quarters. You hastily pull on underwear, thick black pants and a t-shirt, forgoing a bra. Light leather boots follow your socks, and then you shrug on a leather jacket and comb your fingers through your short hair, smoothing it down so it doesn’t dry oddly. 

Just as you’re about to exit the room, the door slides open and Poe looms over you. He isn’t very tall compared to many of the men in the Resistance, but he dwarfs your small frame easily as he slowly steps in the room, slamming his palm onto the keypad to shut and lock the door behind him. You slide your eyes down his chest, noticing how his other hand is fisted into the towel at his waist, holding it in place. Taking a step back, you don’t meet his eyes. 

“Where are you going?” His voice breaks the silence and the low tone of it makes you finally realized how pissed he is. 

You finally raise your eyes to meet his, “The tarmac.” Poe’s jaw tenses, the muscle in his cheek jumping as he glares at you. 

“No.”

“No?” You scoff, reeling back from him as he takes a step closer.

“I said, no. We’re talking about this.”

“Talking about what, Dameron?”

“Do not Dameron me. I’m not going to keep letting you endanger yourself and I will report you if you don’t talk to me about what the fuck is happening,” he pokes at your chest, stepping forward again. You step back again, the backs of your thighs hitting the bed. 

“I did my job. That’s all,” you glare back at him, gritting your teeth.

He almost growls, his eyes flashing with anger, “Your job is not to almost kill yourself trying to play the hero.”

“Oh that’s rich coming from you, Poe.” 

He blanches at that, blinking down at you. “This isn’t the same,” he mumbles.

“It’s exactly the same and you know it. Before you married me, you did the same thing. You always threw yourself headfirst into it, not caring if it killed you. It’s my turn not to care!” You yell the last part at him, balling your shaking hands into fist at your sides. Blinking tears from your eyes, you bite back a sob as you sink down onto the bed. He immediately comes forward, sinking to his knees in front of you and reaching out to cup your face, tugging gently until you look at him. 

“Please, please talk to me,” he whispers, the pads of his thumbs swiping away the tears on your face.

“We’re losing. We’re losing and there’s nothing I can do. I can’t save them, I can’t save us,” you shudder, gasping for air as you sob.

He pulls you into him, tucking your head into his shoulder as he holds you on his knees, “It’s not your job to save everyone. We all signed up for this. We all are prepared to give our lives, but you can’t try to commit suicide for the cause. That isn’t how this works.”

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Poe.” Your voice is barely more than a whisper, but it reverberates through his mind and he stills, holding you to him and holding his breath. Finally, you speak in the silence, “I don’t want to die.”

Pulling back, he cradles your face in his large hands, searching your eyes, “I won’t let you.” 

Your next move takes him by surprise, though it shouldn’t because he knows you deal with your raw emotions in the same way he does. You surge forward, kissing him and pulling him towards you by tangling your fingers in his curls. Whispering against his lips, your words make him immediately sag in relief, “I don’t fucking want to die. I’m not trying to die, Poe.” 

He kisses you back then, his hands roaming up and down your body, trying to pull you into to him. Poe’s tongue drags across your bottom lip, prodding at you to let him inside, your tongues tangling when your lips finally part. His large hands pull you to the edge of the bed as he kneels between your thighs, both of you just touching each other, like you can’t believe you’re back in your room, alive and unscathed after the close calls just an hour ago. You sigh against him as you taste him -

And then someone knocks on the door. You jump away from him, a hint of a smile in your voice when you yell, “For fuck’s sake leave us alone!”

He chuckles when he hears Finn’s voice from the other side, “If you don’t come to dinner, you’ll never hear the end of it from the squadron.” His boots thud quietly as he walks away and you fling your body down dramatically onto the bed, huffing.

Poe drags his hands down your thighs before standing, “This isn’t over.” He winks before turning to get dressed, his smile reminding you just how badly you want to stay alive and experience life with him as your husband. 

[februaryberries]

Study (?) tips that you don’t see on every study post

Hi gamers, I just finished my first year at college/university!!

This year was really a struggle for me because I was trying to get the help I needed for my mental health, and I did not succeed until literally the week before finals spring term. I just got diagnosed w ADHD and put on meds (thank god) and I’m excited for the next year to come.

Though this year was absolutely grueling I did discover some little tips that can really help ! This is coming from my experience w ADHD but it could relate to other neurodiverse learners as well ! Even if you are neurotypical some of these might help !! 

This post got really long so I’m gonna put it under the cut but, main Idea is bolded w a more in depth explanation underneath ( for those like me who see a block of text and go running)

In no particular order:

If you can/are up for it take a class before noon even if you are not a morning person. I am NOT saying take an 8am when u regularly go to bed at 4am! Bc that is dumb bb pls get some sleep. In my experience once I go to class my brain is like “oh things are happening now, it is actually a day and not just existing in a timeless hellscape.”

Once I am out of bed/out of my room I am at least mildly more productive for the rest of the day. Going to a class before noon means you are up and doing things for the day and early enough that you still have light. This ties into the next one

Start while it’s still light out!! At least for me I gain so much happiness from natural light/sunlight, and it is very hard for me to do things let alone START things once it’s dark out because my brain is like nope the day is over now. Plus in the fall/winter days days are getting shorter and shorter so it’s important to make use of as much daylight as you can. I feel like a plant w how much I rely on light to survive but it really does help! 

Put on ‘Real People’ clothes. This is something that really helps me, even if it’s just like, jeans and a turtleneck, maybe tucked in w a belt. I’ve found that when I put on academic-y clothes or like Adult clothes it helps me switch my brain into school mode. It’s kinda like putting on a uniform for work? If I’m in too loose of clothes or like pyjamas for example, I’m much less likely to be able to switch my brain into productive mode. For me especially its when i’m wearing tighter clothing rather than baggy ones? Like i said a turtleneck which like the sleeves are fitted to my arms, and jeans or pants that are fitted to my legs. I think it helps because it makes me more aware of my body in the space? Idk.  figure out what real people clothes feel like to you, and then have a couple of go to outfits you can slip on when you’ve been in a hoodie and sweatpants all day and really need to get some work done. 

On that note, put on shoes. For me along w the tight clothing, I do better in shoes, specifically ones that lace up and can be tight. Like hightop converse, or boots, or even dress shoes w laces. I think in a way my body needs to be contained so I can focus on something? I’m not sure why I feel like that but i’ve learned to work w it. Putting on shoes for me helps because

1. I’m not distracted by what I’m putting my bare feet on (i cannot stand wearing socks unless im wearing shoes so yes bare feet)

2. I’m not getting distracted by my floor n the fact that hey maybe i should sweep bc there are some crumbs sticking to my feet now.

And 3. You put on shoes when you are going to go outside and go somewhere. It’s like putting pyjamas on to go to bed, you’re brain associates those items with doing something, so putting on shoes can signal to your brain hey we are doing something now, and that something is work.

Talk to your teachers !! I understand sometimes you have a teacher from hell and honestly idk what to tell you at that point but in  a lot of cases teachers can be very understanding !! The amount of support I’ve gotten from my teachers this year is absolutely insane and 100% the only thing that made it so I didn’t get kicked out of college. Like reaching out to your teachers shows that you care! if you have to take a mental health day sometimes let them know !! i would always let my teacher know that I really wanted to be in class but I just couldn’t handle it that day. They also can help connect you to resources you didn’t know about ! 

Look into what resources your school has !! I was talking about how next year is gonna go now that I’ve been diagnosed and such with my friend, and how I was gonna contact the DRC (disability resource center) and she didn’t know you could get support for having ADHD!! Like I know you can get extensions on due dates, attendance forgiveness, and even potentially note taking assistance when you have ADHD and talk to them. even if you are medicated it doesn’t 100% solve everything and there are still ways to get support! Whether its study groups, writing centers/support, tutoring, or even contacting your drc or whatever your school has, it can really help!! I’m definitely going to take advantage of these resources if I can next year ! 

Find a place outside you can go to clear your head (or have a mental breakdown) 

I can’t even begin to count the amount of times i’ve been freaking out over something or stressed out of my mind and my room started to feel to stuffy and claustrophobic and i just needed to get OUT. try to make sure it’s somewhere safe and close that you can go to even at night. (maybe try to shoot a text to your best friend that you’re out and if you don’t let them know you’re home by a certain time to start raising alarm, your safety is the most important) I tend to like to be up high because i’m further away from people, and the streets and I’m closer to the sky.

My go to thinking/breakdown spot is the roof of the parking garage a block away. It has stairs that are easy access and the top levels are usually empty even during the day. It really helps me to just go out and listen to music and collect my thoughts sometimes. My head can start going a million directions at lightspeed and I need to stop and be present, and being outside helps. It’s a good way to regroup.

Spend 10 minutes picking up your desk/work space. I tend to let my room get cluttered and messy and out of control a lot, to the point where I know it’s going to take at least a couple hours to get it clean again. It is also hard to focus when you’re in a messy environment. I would stress myself out and be like “well i HAVE to clean my whole room because I can’t focus if my space isnt clean I cant start until I clean” and then I would put all of my productive energy into cleaning, and get maybe halfway done before burning out and going to bed.

You’re never going to get any work done if you keep in this mindset. So instead just spend 10 minutes picking up the garbage off your desk, put the dishes in the kitchen, and put things back in their place. Then you will have enough space to work on your assignment and that space will be free of clutter so it won’t be as stressful. 

DRINK WATER DRINK WATER DRINK WATER

Have a water bottle in front of you when you’re studying/in class. I get fidgety a lot when i’m in class/studying (thank u adhd) and so having a water bottle is a way for me to fidget I guess? Depending on the water bottle, you have little steps you have to do to drink that help u fidget,

for example: pick it up, take off the lid, drink, put the lid back on, set it down.

Or pick up, push button that opens drink hole (?), set back down.

When I have a water bottle on my desk it satisfies my need to do something with my body and comes with the bonus of staying hydrated, without me having to lose focus doing something else. Also you won’t get distracted by a sore throat or the realization that you are really thirsty.

Pay attention to why you’re not paying attention. Not everything that works for me is going to work for you, so you have to figure out what works for you. I started to notice that I would be uncomfortable or feel funny working when I was in baggy clothes and that helped me figure out I needed to wear real people clothes. If you find yourself getting distracted, take note of what is distracting you. maybe try literally making a list of things that distract you, so then you can identify patterns and how to combat them !

That’s all I have for now, I hope some of these could maybe help? All of these have helped me actually complete an assignment occasionally, and somehow keep my ass in college. I just want to say that my experience is my own and things that work for me aren’t going to work on every one. college can be really tough, especially your first year when you’re trying to figure everything out. I may not have all the answers but feel free to shoot me a message!! i’m here for you if you want to ramble about an assignment you’re fed up with or a teacher you hate or anything thats bothering you !! Everyone’s college (and life) experience is different so don’t feel bad if yours doesn’t look the same as the people around you ! Remember to take care of yourselves !!!

Have a good day :)

[cythieus]

Any Port in a Storm Part I

Peach’s thin fingers leafed through the pages pinned to the clipboard, her eyes scanning the information in each blank and bubble. The lanyard, that she had gotten to fight her bad habit of losing pens, had actually ended up nudging her toward a new propensity to chew on them. She fought the instinct for now and at least she was always sure where the pens were.

She flipped to the front page, her vision tracing a path over the patient name and general information. Slipping the clipboard neatly into the slot at the footboard of the bed, she let the pen drop from her mouth to hang from her neck and dipped her hands into the pockets of her lab coat. The coat was such a shade of pink that it seemed it might have once been white and was just washed with something red by accident. She never replied to inquiries about whether its color was intended or not.

“Your charts are trending really well, Mr. Meeks,” Peach said. “The swelling has dropped off tremendously and you’re more alert than you were just a few hours ago.” She was sure to flash a smile, but she didn’t let it linger on her face for long. This visit wasn’t all good news.

Meeks replied with words too garbled to mean anything to anyone other than him. Tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke, letting Peach know the desperation behind whatever it was he was trying to get across. It was to be expected that speech would suffer given the severity of the stroke.

“I know that you’ve got a lot of questions,” she said. “I will be here to answer them as soon as things are a little better,” Peach said stepping around to the side of his bed. Her hand touched his forehead and she smoothed back the dark brown hair plastered to his skin.

“I’ll come around and check on you in a bit,” Peach said. It was best not to give exact times, the expectation might of her showing up might upset him and his mind was still foggy. There was no telling if he would be napping when she came back or if he would remember this conversation all that clearly. These first few days were bound to be a haze, but there could be some crucial developments too.

She waved curtly at him before turning to leave the room through the wide, mauve colored door. There was a sink in the center of this wing of the hospital, just across from the nurses station. She washed her hands in it, rolling up the sleeves of her coat to scrub halfway up to her elbows. A small group doctors and nurses passed, walking in a tight group and talking in hushed tones.

The whole world was hushed tones. It had been a sixteen hour shift so far and though there were times where she could take a short rest, most of her time had been spent on her feet. It would be several weeks before there were any relief either.

Absently, she dipped into the on-call room to grab a cup of water and just rest in one of the huge plush chairs. Peach didn’t know exactly when her eyes shut or for how long she was out. If someone had needed her they knew where to check on days like this. That was part of the problem.

“Peaches!”

Daisy’s excited scream was enough to rouse Peach, but not enough for her to open her eyes. Maybe if she pretended to be sleep Daisy would move on or was that bears…

“Wow, you smarmy bitch, I know you hear me,” Daisy said.

Peach could hear Daisy’s footsteps as she crossed the on-call room. The light from the hallway cut through her eye lids, causing a dull pain in the front of her forehead.

“The whole floor can hear you,” Peach said finally, shutting her eyes tighter against the light.

“Heard you were in here.” Daisy was standing right over her now, half-silhouetted by the light pouring in through the door. She wore a loud orange, yellow and white sundress with a frilly skirt and high heels. She always stood out against the beige and white tones that lined the halls of this hospital.

“Are you working today?” Peach asked.

Daisy cracked a little smile, her bronze skin had a luster to it even in the in the darkness of this room. “I’m always working, but no, I’m here seeing Luigi. I’ll be on the road for a bit with this new launch coming up, I might not get to see him for a while.”

“Do you need the room?” Asked Peach.

With a flick of her hand Daisy dismissed the question. “Nah,” she said before she folded her arms over her chest. “If we’re going to screw in this dreary place I’d rather do it in one of the empty rooms in the children’s wing.”

“You’re the worst,” Peach said.

“I know, but the little pictures of parading Goombas and Mushroom people they plaster on the sides of the beds make me smile,” Daisy said.

They had both gone through medical school together. Long before even that they were best friends, in fact Daisy they had known each other since before either of them could talk, but part of the way through their residency Daisy had chosen a different route in the industry: she was a sales rep for Gadd Pharmaceutical. It was her job to travel the region and teach hospital staff about new drugs or update them on treatment options afforded to them by drugs available to them.

Peach yawned, her arms and legs jerking out out so that she could stretch. There was no point trying to get Daisy to filter herself. “Have you found him yet?”

Daisy shook her head. “No, but I saw your little boy toy,” Daisy said giving the front of Peach’s chair a series of rapid kicks.

“Stop it,” Peach said, her fingers pressed against the sides of the bridge of her nose out of sheer frustration.

“He always asks about you and, like, he works in this place with you. How’s that going?” Daisy asked.

“I don’t fraternize like that here--” Peach said.

“—you’re definitely not fraternizing anyone and haven’t for a while. When was the last time you went out?” Daisy asked.

Peach sighed. “Half your job is taking people out and buttering them up,” she said. “It’s different in here.”

“You’re not only in here though, Peach. I might as well buy you a big crate of D-batteries and four weird cats so you can just settle down to be one of those old women who’s only source of sexual tension is the weird bag boy at the grocery store.”

“Hey, my life has sexual tension!” Okay, maybe that was too loud.

“There’s more sexual tension in nursery rhymes without people in them,” Daisy said. She crossed the room and poured herself a cup of coffee. Then she produced a small flask from a pocket hidden in the ruffles of her dress and poured a splash in with her coffee. “Talk to Mario. We can go on double dates.”

Daisy took a sip of coffee and then dumped the rest of the flask in. “We’ll be dating twins. Twins that are doctors. We could swap stories about them over mimosas and you can tell me if I’m right about Mario’s crank—“

“—Ew, Daisy no. I don’t—I don’t have time for those things right now.”

“Meow.” Daisy said after another, longer drink.

“What are you doing?”

“Meow,” Daisy said again. “I’m going to meow like a cat when you make excuses for not having a life. I’ll come to your apartment and just slap your stuff off shelves and pee in your shoes too until you get your personal life together.”

“You know I have other friends, right?”

“Sure you do.”

“Luigi and I get along well. And Doctor Bowser is a little, extra, but he seems nice and he always rushes any pathology results when I really need them.”

Daisy laughed. “I wonder why,” she said smiling as she tilted the cup up to her mouth again. “I notice that you’re not mentioning Mario in all of this.”

“Mario and I are…just fine. Why are you so concerned with all of this?” Asked Peach.

“You’re so happy,” Daisy said. “I mean I want you to be happy.” She took another big gulp of coffee. “But you’re happier every time I see you.”

“Did you ever think that maybe I just loved work?” Asked Peach.

Daisy shrugged, her blue eyes fixated down on her cup. “It smells bad here, like all of the time and people…people die,” she whispered the last part.

A little chuckle escaped Peach, she was sure it was not out of crassness, but other than that couldn’t tell where it came from. “The work is very hard. Occasionally I lose a patient or I have a really bad day, but my day is never as bad as the ones these people and their families are going through. And more often than not I get to make sure their day gets better…and that they have more days at all.”

Daisy eyed her for a long enough time that she was able to take several more sips of coffee. “You’re hiding something. I’m just here to let you know Peaches, I’ve known you too long for you to outsmart me for long. Im going to go find my man, you want the rest of this?” Daisy held her coffee cup down to show Peach the bit of dark coffee sloshing around at the bottom.

Peach shook her head. “Can’t drink—I need to be alert; I could use some food. It’s been hours since I’ve eaten anything.”

“I’d love to grab lunch with you, but we’d have to—“

Peach cut her off. “—no, you’re here to see Luigi. I’ll be fine,” Peach said.

“Are you sure?” Asked Daisy as she tossed her cup and the remainder of the coffee and liquor mix into the trash.

With a little smirk plastered on her face, Peach nodded.

Daisy closed the gap between them and reached out to touch Peach’s forehead, her thumb brushing back the flyaway bangs that were too short to make it into Peach’s haphazard bun. Daisy swept a blonde tendril of hair back behind Peach’s ear. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

“I will,” said Peach.

Daisy bent down and kissed her on the cheek. “See you later, love.”

She was careful to close the patient’s door before starting up, but the entire time Peach kept eye contact with Lemmy. He was one of the newer nurses in this part of the hospital, but he had worked in other places supposedly. She really didn’t know him that well, he hadn’t been around long enough. Peach knew she had to nip this in the bud.

“Why am I seeing that you held my patient down and started a Phenytoin drip?” Peach asked.

Lemmy was an odd looking man, even for a Koopa. He had rainbow colored, dyed hair and his eyes were a little crossed. His arms seemed too long for his body, like he had to bend them awkwardly when he scratched the back of his head. “It’s one of the most common anti-seizure medications.”

“Maybe sixty years ago. It’s never a first choice now and an IV is inadvisable due to the risk of cardiac or local toxicity.” Peach kept her tone even. She didn’t make it a habit of laying into nurses and other hospital staff, but this whole situation rubbed her the wrong way.

“I made the call I thought was best and look, the patient is getting better.”

“They’re getting better because you got lucky. We don’t hope for our luck to hold out in a place like this because when it doesn’t people die. We do our due diligence to make sure that we don’t end up staring down the barrel of a malpractice law suit or, worse, having to tell a family there’s nothing more we could do,” Peach said.

“No disrespect, but you’re being hysterical, Dr. Toadstool,” he said.

Peach brushed the hair out of her face and glanced around to see if the inevitable attention of nearby staff had found them. She pushed her lanyard and stethoscope aside to reveal her identification badge. “Can you read that word right there under my name?”

Lemmy glared down at the badge and then back up at her. He knew what it said before he read it, but had looked anyway. “Neurologist.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought it said too, but I wanted to get your opinion since you’re such an expert.” Peach fumbled with the door charts. “Look, you’ve obviously been at this long enough that you feel you know better than everyone even though I spent more time doing my residency than you’ve been doing this job. Do what you want. And when someone has adverse effects I’ll treat them. When they code I’ll do my best to bring them back, but remember someone won’t always be there to pick up your slack.”

Peach tossed the clipboard back into the slot in the door and trotted off down the hallway, unsure of where she was going. She knew that others would be staring at her now, she had raised her voice just a tiny bit, but she had been here too long and there was no excuse for how that nurse was talking to her, especially not after that.

She thought it might be best to end her day here. Maybe this was the end of her rope; she had been burning the candle at both ends for some time now and the more exhausted she was the more dangerous it became for anyone placed in her care.

One of the break room doors was down the hall was open and she heard the sound of Daisy’s voice before she could even see what was going on inside. She didn’t feel like stopping, but she spotted Daisy and Luigi curled up on the couch together watching the TV, he must have been off. It wasn’t unusual for him to hang around the hospital when he was done.

Peach passed by, heading into the wing opposite her own. As she passed through a set of double doors and the cold air of the next hall washed over her she spotted a familiar face coming her way.

The mustached doctor and Luigi’s brother, Mario. He smiled as he noticed her, but stopped a little ways down the hall in front of the elevator. She strolled up to meet him. “Dr. Toadstool,” he said.

She gave a little nod of acknowledgment. “Dr. Mario.”

“Where are you headed?” He asked.

“Um, this elevator. I think I’m ending shift I’m on,” she said.

“Must be a Hell of a shift, weren’t you starting when I left yesterday?” Mario asked.

Peach chuckled. “It’s possible, my days are kind of blending together,” she said. Then she leaned down and pressed the button on the elevator. “One of us should probably press this.”

“You’re going up?” Mario asked.

Peach glanced up and down the hallway. “Yeah. I mean, you were. We’re having a conversation, so I’m going with you.”

“I mean we were but…” he trailed off. “Your drug rep buddy stopped by my office today.”

“Oh no.”

“Don’t worry, she was mostly cordial.”

The silvery doors of the elevator opened and a soft robotic voice spoke. “Floor three, going up.”

Peach followed Mario into the elevator and when the door shut he asked. “Did you tell her about us?”

“No.”

“Really?” Mario grazed the side of her leg, just below her skirt and her skin went tight and hot. “Why not?” He asked.

She crouched down to his level, resting her back against the metallic elevator wall. Peach clenched his wrist, holding it up and pressed her body to his, their lips almost missing each others in the collision, and his hand trapped between them.

Peach grabbed his necktie, through the top of his coat to pull him closer. He groaned, the sound coming from somewhere in his throat or upper chest. His mustache scratched at her upper lip, but his mouth seemed softer than she remembered each time they did this.

The ride to the tenth floor and Mario’s office was never long enough for anything too exciting, but it still left her in a hazy stupor. When the doors opened the stumbled out of the elevator with hands linked, giggling like school children until they made it to the door of Mario’s private practice.

Mario struggled getting the key into the door and turning it, the lights in the office clicked on automatically when they stepped into the waiting room. The walls were lined with chairs except for the spots where a decorative plant or magazine rack was. Below some of the chairs were baskets with toys for the children. The area seemed much larger at night when no one was there.

“Mind if I take some time to wash my hands?” Peach asked.

Mario shook his head. “Course not.”

Peach slipped the coat down over her shoulders to reveal the plain white button down blouse she wore under it, she tossed the lab coat over a chair and headed for the restroom. Even before she started to wash her hands and the moment the door was closed behind her, the sink was running. The dark sacks of skin puffed up beneath her eyes in the mirror were the true sign that she had reached her limit for the day, she probably had some hours ago.

She rinsed her hands in the warm water, adding soap, and then rinsing them again. Peach splashed some of the water up into her face and dried it off with one of the beige paper towels from the automatic dispenser.

Her gaze met her reflection’s in the mirror. “Mario and I will get there soon, but today’s not the day. Best not to rush these things.” Every secret date and little meet up they managed, this was her mantra. Mario was going to be there, he wasn’t going anywhere and she didn’t see a reason to push things too fast with him. There was a lot of emotion tied up with that part of a relationship. It all seemed like a seriousness that she didn’t want at the moment.

For all of Daisy’s talk of Luigi, things were easier for her just by virtue of being a drug rep. She wasn’t chained to the same building as Luigi, constantly worrying about how every little interaction with him went. She had prep time!

Not that Daisy worried about anything like that—she seemed to drift through life on extremely fortunate luck.

With a small sigh, Peach undid the top button of her blouse and, using a paper towel, turned the knob to open the door. Mario had left the waiting room, but she knew where he would go. She made her way through the hall where his smaller examination rooms were until she reached his office. The first thing that she noticed every time she entered this room was the view, it was overlooking New Donk Medical Plaza, but in the distance was midtown and city hall sparkling like constellation.

Mario was perched on top of his desk with the dull purple of the city lights filtering through the window at his back. It was enough that Peach could make out his eyes, it was enough that she could see in his face what he wanted her to do. She pressed herself into the apex formed by Mario’s legs until the hollow sound made by her knees bumping the desk echoed through the room.

They both had to stifle their laughter, but it was that awkward kind of chortle that snowballed into a more infectious, out of control laugh. The electricity between them had been stretched so taut that Peach heard all of these sounds that weren’t there. At least them laughing covered that up.

The chuckling tapered off until they were standing there staring into each other’s eyes. Peach rested her hands on Mario’s legs, just above his knees. He lifted her chin, stroking the side of her face with his thumb and kissed her cheek. “Do we want to stay here or go somewhere else?”

“We just got here,” Peach said in a very small voice.

His lips brushed against her ear, his mustache ticking the side of her face and catching at the stray tendrils of hair. “But you didn’t eat today, did you?”

How did he know? “No,” Peach said out of breath. “It’s no big deal, I was going to pick something up on the way home.”

“We could pick something up together.” Mario pressed his face into the nape of her neck, sucking at the skin just where her shoulder began to curve up. He fumbled through heir hair, undoing the ribbon that held it up.

“We could.” Her body responded by curling to the side, resting her weight against Mario’s leg as she let out a little gasp.

“It wouldn’t take long.” The words were spoken against her neck, barely audible, but she vibrations of each syllable across her skin was like lightning. “We’ll just—“

Peach spun, locking her lips to his forcefully and pushing her tongue into his mouth. Their chins jabbed at each other as they rocked together against the desk. He groaned so low and so deep that it felt like it was coming from within her. She moved her fingers back through his dark hair, the bits at the front were damp from where he had probably splashed water in his face the way she did.

It didn’t occur to her that her eyes were shut for a while, that they had closed themselves out of habit and all of her senses seemed to meld in to cover the gap. She could smell the dying embers of his cologne, something strong and astringent with a citrus hint. There was a smell just peeking through that one, like an iceberg out of the ocean, it was the smell of clean sweat and just him. His mouth tasted slightly sour, in the natural way anyone’s probably did after being in this place all day. She didn’t mind because it was Mario.

“I had a really, really awful day,” Peach said, pushing her hand into his chest to separate them. Behind him, the sky outside the window had changed. It seemed cloudier, buzzing with a kind of static.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Mario asked.

“Not really,” she said. “Come here.”

Across from the office from his desk, set against the wall was a small couch. Peach slipped out of her shoes before folding her legs onto the couch, so that she was sitting on them with her butt rested on her calves. Mario trailed behind sluggishly, pausing before the leather couch when she moved to pat the spot next to her.

“Are you sure?” Mario asked.

Peach leaned out, grabbing his hand and pulling it into her lap. “If you want me to be.”

“I want you to be sure for you—we had that talk before and—“

“And we decided that when the time was right we would know, but let’s be realistic: you want me, right?” She asked.

Mario’s eyes zigzagged along her body tracing a line from her toes, around the bend in her knee and all the way up to her face. “How could I say no, Peach, I—“

Her foot brushing the side of his leg stopped his words, his eyes widened and then Peach was unbuttoning her blouse, slowly revealing a flimsy pink tank top she wore underneath it. Mario watched, his heart beating so loud that she could hear it, could feel it where his hand rested in her lap.

Mario clambered up onto the couch and crawling over her, his hands sunk into the couch on either side of her waist. Her mouth rose to meet his helplessly and Mario’s lips responded by pushing her head against the arm rest, smashing her hair into a knot behind her head.

That little cautious voice in her head was in a veritable screaming panic, but the thundering of her heart and the soft moans drowned out any want she had to stop herself. Peach wasn’t above just going for it and this was a calculated risk.

A flash of light filled the room followed by the tremendous rumble of thunder. Peach caught Mario’s chest with both hands, her nails tracing little lines over his smooth skin. Around and between his nipples. “It would be dangerous for me to drive in this weather—I didn’t even bring an umbrella,” she lied. She always had an umbrella. Any reason to stay like this.

“I guess we’ll just have to stay here.” Peach rocked forward resting her butt on the leather sofa just in front of Mario’s crotch. Her hands trembled with anticipation causing her to fumble with his belt, managing to free the clasp from the puncture holes that held it after a few attempts.

Mario was rigid beneath his slacks, she could feel him when her arm brushed against the bulge beneath the fabric. He twitched sending a positively seismic shiver through her very being. Peach reached through the v-shaped crevice of his unfastened slacks and under the waist band of his boxers to grab his cock. He let out a stuttering sigh and arched his back, pumping against her grasp involuntarily. His skin was so warm and smooth and he glided through her palm.

Peach laughed, biting down softly on her lip and then glancing into Mario’s big blue eyes. “Is this okay?” She said in a voice that was barely a whisper.

“Yeah,” he moaned.

“Yeah,” she repeated. “Are my hands too cold?”

Mario shook his head.

A dopey grin stretched over Peach’s face. She pulled his cock up over the waistband of his pants. He was engorged, the skin being stretched so taut had smoothed any wrinkles there might have normally been. It wasn’t like she was some kind of cock connoisseur most of her experience with them recently had been related to her work. Feeling one in this context without latex to separate skin from skin and with it heavy and erect was caused her to think things she’d usually gripe at Daisy about saying.

Peach looked down at it, running her thumb along the gentle, rounded rise of the crown of his cock at an excruciatingly sluggish pace. Mario nails raked at the leather couch when she finally reached the ventral side where a little divot that marked the beginning of the frenulum led her thumb up to the hole in his penis. Mario sucked on his teeth, wincing at the sensation.

“Does it hurt?” She asked.

Mario shook his head.

She thought the better of blowing him. It had been a long time and she was tired. Probably tired enough that she wasn’t thinking clearly, but more so she had been at the hospital over a dozen hours. If she went down on him and he felt compelled to do the same for her—no it was best to keep things simple.

Peach’s hand grazed his face, the stubby hairs dotting his face catch at her skin as she makes small circles around his chin. “So…”

He leaned in to press his lips to her neck. The air conditioner for the area of the building kicks in with a thunderous hum that seems to shake the sofa and drum through their bodies. Everything is so secluded, cut off. They’re in a building with hundreds, maybe thousands of people, but they’re alone.

The second that his fingers touch the inside of her thigh every rational part of Peach is gone. Even with all of the room afforded to them, they stay confined to the couch, fumbling to stay in contact, never not kissing for more than a few moments while trying to strip to the minimally required clothes.

He got her underwear down and she could feel the damp fabric move past her leg. Peach moved to mount him, straddling and pushing him back into the couch. Her pressed against his upper chest, almost in his face. Mario pushed his way inside of her slowly, rising up to meet her body halfway. Peach grunted, her eyes shut against the sensation, but she after a second she began to rock her hips against him.

There was a warm satisfaction in the way that they were grinding together. Why did she wait so long to do this? They rocked together on the couch while the lightning outside erupted into a full fit that lit the darkened room for full seconds at a time. Thunder undercut her soft moans, his desperate grunts.

Mario mouthed something against her ear, and though she couldn’t hear him just the brushing of his lips on her ear exhale her answer, a breathy, “yes.”

He gripped her hips tighter, pulling her down hard onto him as if trying to get every inch of himself to go into her. His breath caught and his teeth nipped at her ear. Peach felt the hot explosion inside as Mario came.

Peach clenched her thighs around him and turned her head against the back of the couch, biting at the leather to muffle her little moans. She hadn’t actually quite come, which was normal. She didn’t typically cum without a lot of lead up or something other than vaginal sex, at the very least.

But then it seemed Mario wasn’t done with her.

He moved from between her legs, leaning against the couch with his left arm and then tugged her upright with him and spinning her so that she was pressing her bare back into his chest. She let out a sharp yelp as his lips touched her neck.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, don’t worry,” Peach said, holding up a hand as if to steady herself.

Mario wrapped an arm around her thigh, bunching her skirt into knots between her legs and began press against the folds of skin between her legs. Peach’s body jerked forward when he brushed the fabric against her clit. Air caught in her throat as she went to make a sound but was cut short by the surprising intensity of the sensations. He mimicked the motion that had gotten the reaction out of her, massaging with a little more pressure now and pushing the cloth of her skirt against the sensitive area.

He steadied her with his other hand, pulling her back to his chest and cupping her breast.

She tried to encourage what was happening, but the only word she could get out was his name. Something warm and wet and slow dripped down the inside of her thigh. In the kind of brief moment of clarity that can only be recognized in distant hindsight, she thought about what had happened: I let him cum inside me?

That was her last true bit of her self-awareness before Mario’s fingers, wrapped in the textured fabric of her skirt, caused her to melt into him. She was reduced to a moaning mess of jerky hip rocking mixed with sharp yelps.

Despite the embarrassingly small size of the styrofoam cup, Peach still held it with both hands as she swiveled it beneath her nose to take in the aroma. Mario definitely bought better coffee than they had back on her floor. She could tell by the heat against her cheeks that it was still much too hot to drink.

She stared out over the misty morning skyline of New Donk through the huge window in Mario’s office. They slept, naked and bundled up in their discarded clothes on the old leather across from his desk. The blinds had been up and the sun’s light burned across the room into their eyes at its very first chance. What was she thinking? In all her years she had never had sex with anyone from work, especially not at work.

Actually, she hadn’t had sex since she worked here. The length of time since her last relationship slowly dawned on her. Still, things with Mario came so naturally. Through months of courtship leading up to this her heart continued to flutter when he first spoke to her. It had happened when they woke up together.

The door to the office opened and Peach spun around, frightened that they hadn’t locked it and it was some parent and their child coming early seeking medical help, but Mario stepped in with plastic grocery bag dangling from one hand.

“You got them?”

“Yeah. The lock on your locker is a little finicky,” he smiled. “And don’t worry, no one saw me.”

“I would only worry if Daisy was still snooping around,” Peach said before finally taking a drink of her coffee.

He handed her the bag and Peach placed her cup on his desk to open it. She stared down at the bottom to see the fresh pair of scrub pants folded neatly. “Thank you. Pretty sure my skirt can just go in the trash now,” Peach said moving to wrap one arm around him. “Um, sorry about your couch—it must be pretty old.”

“Are you kidding, it’s a leather couch in a pediatricians office, it’s seen some shit. I’ll get some leather wipes and it’ll be fine,” he said. “It was actually already here when I moved into the office.”

“Oh,” Peach said putting a shocked hand to her face. “Maybe I shouldn’t have put my mouth on that…”

They both froze before bursting into boisterous laughter that last far too long for what wasn’t even meant to be funny.

“What did you decide to put back on?” Mario asked. “Are you just wearing the coat?”

“No,” Peach said pulling the lab coat open so he could see. “I’m just wearing the blouse beneath the coat and…yeah the coat.”

He hugged her around the waist. “Has anyone ever told you how sexy you are standing around in just a blouse and lab coat?”

“If you say so…” Peach giggled. “But…don’t start that now, you’ve got appointments—and—and a secretary coming in a half hour. How do you think Shokora will feel about me being in here with my naught bits all exposed?”

“So you have to go?” Mario asked.

“Yes. I need to nap and shower and try to salvage this skirt too.”

While Peach changed into the scrub pants and finished her coffee they chatted some more about mundane things. When it came time for her to go she was insistent that she walk alone.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay walking down to the car yourself?” Mario asked.

“Yes. I usually do it at night. Plus it would ignite rumors.”

He still walked her as far as the elevator, stopping to lean against the doors to hold them open, he checked both ways down the hall before leaning in to kiss her. “Goodbye, Doctor Toadstool.

“Bye, Doctor Mario,” she kissed him on the lips and he stepped back letting the doors close between them.

The moment she was out of sight, Peach jumped up and down with her hands balled into tight little fists at her sides. She wanted to scream or dance, maybe even while screaming, but the elevator dinged and came to a stop for an old woman in a wheel chair to roll in. She nodded at Peach, but said nothing on their ride to the sub level.

The parking garage was bustling with people, more than she was used to seeing. This wasn’t a time when she normally arrived at or left the hospital, which turned out to be lucky for her because most of these people wouldn’t really know her. She opened the back door of her car, throwing the bag of clothes she’d brought down onto the floorboards.

“Peaches!?”

Oh no.

“Peaches? I know goddamn well you hear me. Is that your cute ass in those awful scrubs?” Daisy rushed over and hugged her, pressing her against the side of the car roughly.

“Hey Daisy.” Peach folded her arms around her body to keep the lab coat closed.

“Hey to you too. Since when do you work in the mornings. I mean are you just getting here or…wait what’s that smell?”

“There’s a lot of cars around. It could be a gas or something, you should go tell the guard.”

“No, it smells like sweaty leather and sex,” Daisy said. She sniffed the air, leaning in close to Peach. Peach leaned back in return. “Why do you smell like you’ve been having sex?”

Peach tightened her arms around herself, averting her eyes from Daisy’s gaze, until the phrama-rep reached out and poked her in the sides, just below the ribcage. She used to do this all of the time when they were in school. It was a surefire way to tickle Peach quickly and make her loosen up. The moment Peach’s arms jerked away, Daisy threw open her lab coat and gasped.

“Same shirt, shitty old scrubs! You and Mario?” Daisy asked before twirling in a quick circle like an excited puppy. “You and Mario!”

“This is why I didn’t tell you things had been…progressing,” Peach said.

“That’s not fair. I tell you about all the weird shit I get up to,” Daisy said.

“Yeah, you tell me too much, honestly.”

“Well now you’re going to spill it. We are going for breakfast cocktails right now and you’re going to spill it,” Daisy said latching on to Peach’s arm and closing her car door.

“It’s like seven in the morning and I have to get home,” Peach protested. “Don’t you have to work?”

“Oh please, I’m one of the top sales reps in the country, I make my own hours. Now come on, I know a bar that makes a mean omelette.”