#so i’m really not that far off today
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problem with waking at 8am and eating your first meal of the day at noon- it is 4pm and i am ready for lunch
not that this is entirely out of the norm for me, i am used to late lunches because of my work schedule. but it feels odd on a day off lol
plus i want to have supper ready around 7pm. so if i eat too much now idk if i’ll be ready for supper then (who am i kidding i can eat all the time, and 3 hours is pretty close to my recommended 3.5/4hr window between meals. yay hypoglycemia!)
#ramble on exie#i cannot keep a stable meal schedule to save my life#most days i have breakfast around 9am. then lunch at 3 and supper at 7#so i’m really not that far off today#it just feels wrong because i’ve done literally nothing but watch movies and shower#i am also planning a really big dinner. pot roast and potatoes and veg and i am very excited
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some people in this fandom are going to be really disappointed when winds of winter comes out.
you guys. you cannot treat the POV characters as stepping stones for other characters/other POV characters.
the POV characters must have a fitting end according to their character arcs, themes, foreshadowing, etc.
to clarify, the POV characters chapters are about THEM. their storylines are about THEIR journey. you cannot use their hundreds of pages of character development as a brick to build the castle your fav will live in.
this is especially true for the key 5 and for the other younger POV characters. their endings have everything to do with them, they do not revolve around your fav.
us readers out-of-universe reasons for wanting x or y characters deaths does not matter. what actually matters is if you can support your theories with textual evidence from the chapters of the POV character that you want dead.
#i dont think there’s anything in the books that supports a theory of a member of the key 5 dying permanently#i think you could make a case for dany temporarily dying like jon for her third death and rebirth. but that’s it.#maybe winds of winter will set up the permanent death of one of the younger POV characters.#but so far there’s really not enough evidence to be sure of x or y characters deaths#and if you want their deaths based on ‘feels’ or due to unobjective reasons then i’m afraid that you will be unhappy#wanting a marginalized characters death especially as they’re igniting hope/recovering from abuse/trying to make change is very gross#i want to say that i totally understand what it’s like to be put off from a character due to that characters fandom#(happened to me with the sansa stans on here. they’re real nasty)#but the best thing to do is to distance yourself from that portion of the fandom and to try to not let your hate color ur opinion#i’m acting kinda self righteous sorry guys 😞#just a bit sad cause i’m seeing a lot of jon hate today <\3#asoiaf fandom critical#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire
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Does anyone know why Argenti has a new VA 🤔 ?
#I just found out#idk what happened#if it’s health reasons or something forget I asked#ngl Ik it’s not a big deal but I really liked argentis current voice#it’s part of the reason why I pulled for him#hsr argenti#hsr#honkai star rail argenti#Honkai star rail#argenti#crazy timing for me cause I just pulled his lc and I’m writing a fic about him and I was rewatching his companion quest#the fact this happened during my argenti phase lmao#I’m writing a fanfic about argenti and yesterday I was searching up how to describe his voice because I was really struggling#and on Reddit today ive seen people describe Argentis original voice in all kinds of ways so this is kind of convinent#I’ve listened to both voices#I prefer Argentis original voice but the replacement is too far off tbh
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I’m becoming who I’m meant to be, slowly.
I’m inhabiting my body as a home as I make it such that it is a home for me.
💖😌✨
Also it’s a lovely studio! Masks required, hepa filters running, quiet area, but still near a bus route, was quiet once some of the people left (my artist was also super surprised that all of the tables were in use when they arrived at the shop too!!) and even though we didn’t chat (they put in their faq basically that they often forget to chat so bring headphones or whatever to do while they work) it wasn’t awkward or anything. It felt like such a safe space and I adore it so much :) (and it’s more local to get to than the other one that I’m definitely also going to go back to too at some point hopefully this year) (yay local queer owned covid cautious studios!!!!!)
#shatters’ tattoos#shatters’ fragments#ok time to eat something else#bc it’s been a while since my last meal even if I took breaks while tattoo#had a juice box for the first break before we drew the plant in there#and then before we did my leg while they were printing out the design I had a granola bar and water#and then afterwards I had a chocolate bar and another juice box and water#and then for the buses home I just had some water between buses but considered if I wanted a fourth juice box today but I didn’t really#but now I’m a bit hungry#today was fucking WEIRD at first#like popping in real quick to work?!?#class!! which I’m actually SUPER EXCITED for and about its great so far#and then walked around with a classmate who’s probably now my friend and popped into a bookstore#but it was super hot by then too#so I went off to get close to the studio#and had sushi in the shade of the parking lot before walking over#and trying to like. drink water and stay hydrated before going in#was definitely intimidated by how many people were in the shop at first#they said that it was highly unusual for all chairs/tables to be in use at once#(and they own the place!!)#but it’s such a lovely and welcoming space tbh#I’ve been to the studio once before for a market#but this is the first time I’ve been while it’s set up as a tattoo studio (it’s usual use)#and it’s just so good 💖#truly made my day really nice at the end#finally got to cool down quite a bit once I was sitting still and then laying down for the tattoos#(…actually I’m a little annoyed I paid $9 for coffee this morning actually but alas anyway)#and it was just. SO NICE#similar vibes but like cozier than the other shop I go to#it has less tables and its more private and accessibility is a huge thing there
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I have a theory, and y’all don’t have to agree with me on it cuz it’s kinda far fetched and has some holes in it but here we go
So there is no evidence of “Ganon” or “Ganondorf” until ocarina of time yeah? So my theory is that Ganon, who takes place in a lot of different games is not the same being as Ganondorf. Why? Well after Hyrule has faced torment from the man named Ganondorf, the name “Ganon” got a bad connotation to it. So after these beasts of pure evil showed up and tried to steal the Triforce and what not in the games, the people named the beast “Ganon”, which was a feared name. So then who is Ganon? That would be Demise and his hatred reincarnating through the years, like he promised.
Like I said this has plenty of holes, like why Ganondorf has a beast form that’s similar to the versions of Ganon or whatever (it’s probably why those specific versions are named Ganon while demons like Malludus are not or something idk), but if we’re following the official timeline nintendo released, Ganon appears after Ganondorf appeared.
Idk, you could say that Ganondorf was the one reincarnating and stuff but it doesn’t make sense to me since his body was clearly there in totk so why wouldn’t he always be in his human form?
Ganondorf being Demise reincarnate is a cool idea but it’s starting to make less sense to me truthfully. It just makes sense that Ganondorf was a terrible but powerful man who grew more powerful thanks to the Triforce of power, and he influenced the people of Hyrule tremendously where whenever there was a boar like creature, he was named Ganon, when it was really Demise trying to bring destruction unto Hylia’s land.
I’ll have to see what happens in totk but it really seems that after Tp or ww that Ganondorf was away somewhere. However by the events of botw , I believe that Demise might want to team up with Ganondorf since he was such a strong influence. I’m sure he’d want to know the man behind the name Ganon after being called it for so many years. But again we’ll have to see until totk
#smiles rambles#welcome back to me trying to make sense of zelda lore#I’m not really against any interpretation of Ganondorf#there’s really not a lot to go off on#i have this same issue with Zelda#but her explanation for me makes more sense than this#sorry I’m tired lol but it’s been on my mind today#like I said far fetched and there are holes in it but it’s just a theory#Ganondorf’s whole story doesn’t make any sense to me anyways#especially with his body there he just feels like a separate entity compared to Ganon#and Ganondorf doesn’t show up again until totk so#ye#minus Hyrule warriors#hoo boy do I wanna drop my timeline theory about that some day#anyways I’m curious what y’all think
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ngl the more I hear about Wish, the more excited I get about it
#ik the animation is turning ppl off and ngl i do wish (lol) it was more unique#though i do like the blended 2d/3d look creating a storybook effect#but the songs are all bops so far. i really love ‘this wish’ it gives me those good chills#and it feels really uh relevant to living/growing up in today’s society#wanting things to change for the better… if you’ve listened to the song then you know what i mean#I’m excited about the conflict in this movie#seeing the lies and the cracks the flaws in a system you once trusted#someone from a younger gen wanting to change that system#clashing with someone from an older gen who put it in place and benefits from the system#plus the in-universe lore is already intriguing#what do you MEAN you can give your wish to this guy for him to MAYBE eventually grant it but you forget ever wanting it#that’s crazy !! the wish literally being part of someone’s heart !#that’s sick !!#and well. i of course cannot help but think of the ways this movie could join the kh universe lol#I’m also excited about the villain magnifico bc it’s fun to watch characters progressively lose it#not a twist villain. you know this guy’s gonna snap. you just get to witness the snapping
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One of my brothers is moving away to college today + I have to skip therapy, so it’s a lot of… a lot. a lot.
#he was just a baby! he was just a little kid I carried around and took care of!#no nope. not gonna get into it right now. I WILL cry. it’s not even 6am and I do not need that right now#and I don’t really know if therapy today would really help#if I got into it I’d just start crying in front of this nice dude for an hour#though yeah… might be nice to.. I dunno… just talk about it.#I am always simultaneously ‘therapy is good’ and ‘what’s the point in talking about it?’#so maybe I do need that person that’s like ‘this is your time. just fucking talk.’#but also right now it’s like… talking about it won’t take me back to when my brother was little and far off from leaving#blegh…#whatever. anyway. it’s gonna be a sad day. I’m gonna cry A LOT. I’m gonna be alone in this apartment and just sooooobbbbbbing#and then keep this inside for another week before I can go to therapy and talk about this bc god forbid I talk to a family member about it#ok now it’s 6am. I think he’s leaving in about 4 hours. it’s cool. it’ll be cool. 😎 I’ll just miss my bro so dang much#but maybe I’ll walk down to the dollar store and stock up on snacks and I’ll get blasted and fatter and try to stay positive#uggghhh#I’m too emotional#time just keeps moving for us all. to my dismay.#’time is the fire in which we burn’#you can ignore this#I don’t think I’ll ever have kids. I’ll never have kids. and being there. with him. with my brothers. that was the closest I’ll ever get.#and it’s over… so… 🤷🏻♂️… it’s just done… they’re grown. and I’m still here. I don’t know what else to say…#but that’s life. they’re doing their thing. I’m happy for them and I want them to be happy too. I’m just a big crybaby#IAN!… stop typing!#just making myself sad at this point#it’s fine. it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m cool. everything’s… cool 😎#this isn’t important#text
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HAPPY AUTUMN EQUINOX 💖💖💖
HAPPY AUTUMN EQUINOX !!!
#also my actual birthday is VERY close so you really weren’t far off your cute fake birthday idea!!!#Still REELING over evil lipstick btw#also break out ur Bon iver/fleet foxes vinyls and drink cinnamon apple tea!!! <- has been doing this since sep 1st anyhow#I’m trying to reach a goal before my birthday so let me harness the power of today to get it done!#TY SUNNY
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GOOD MORNING EVERYONE HAPPY WEDNESDAY!!! Halfway through the week!! We got this!!! I hope you all have nothing short but a lovely day 💕💕💕
#nina rambles~✦#okay work has been hell lately#I’ve been here since 6am ew#but I’ve still been able to work on fics little by little#I turned my requests off in the meantime so I can focus on them#I’m 1k into a fic so far weee#YEAH#if I don’t get anything out to yall today then at least I’ll post a small wip#writers block has just been kicking my ass and so it’s really rough getting things out#enough about that#I hope you all are doing well my loves
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I still have 5 hours left in my shift 😭😭😭
#I just….#really wanna go home today#not having a good day. I started my period this morning and then I got to work and found out only me and one other opener were there but our#opening manager wasn’t here yet so she was late and we spent the next 20 minutes rushing to get everything set up before we opened#and then we immediately started getting customers and it’s just been busy and I’m tired and just don’t feel good bc of my period#and then so far I’ve had 2 of my least favorite customers come through the drive thru where I’m working#one is this dude who’s just fucking annoying another is the guy that asked for my number a few months ago who I haven’t seen since I turned#him down so I took his order and then made someone else deal with him at the window#and then it got busy with everyone ordering drinks like hot coffees which meant I had to walk from our drive thru out to the lobby bc my#coffees were out bc everyone wants coffee today but when I would do that I would still have to be taking orders#and then someone cleared a few specialty coffees off the barista screen without making them while the person was sitting in the drive thru#so I had to make those while doing other stuff too and people were asking me questions#and I was just getting very overstimulated and annoyed plus I’m hungry#and I just want to leave and go home and sleep but it’s my best friend’s birthday so she’s probably gonna want to do something later but I#just don’t feel up to it and I know she’s probably ready to hang out because she’s been off for 10 days with Covid so she’s well rested now#for her birthday but 😭😭😭 I just want to crash into my bed so hard and not wake up until noon tomorrow#also the coworker I work with every day and don’t like is here today unfortunately#and also all of the speakers we use to play music in the back are dead right now and I just want to play music#first world problems but I have so little patience today
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just honest to god wishing i could stop worrying for literally five minutes.
#ooc. mikkelsen vc: this week on kat valentine's hannibal.#[my aunt’s platelets are HORRIFIC and I really wish I wasn’t living in fear it’s the same thing that my papou had.#so far it isn’t. so far it seems like it’ll be okay. but I’m so fucking tired. at least I was surprise! off today and next week is my last#week in this program. I just. need to get so much of my shit together but first I need to stop being terrified 24/7.#ps dickbag anon: do me a solid and fuck off if you’re there. I am already having a Life no encouragement needed.]
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do you ever just
#I’m kind of dying a little but it’s cool#I had an appointment with a psychiatrist today and I feel like I’m kind of regretting it 😖#I went in mostly concerned about my autism and adhd and prepared to talk about/deal with those#but then she ended up prescribing me lexapro for my anxiety#so I went and did a bunch of research on that but I’m kind of terrified of taking it#because it seems like a lot of people get nasty side effects especially at first#and like having anxiety isn’t fun but I can push through that even if I’m an anxious wreck about some things#but like my autism and adhd affect my life a lot more#like being totally overstimulated in public or not being able to hold my focus at all are a lot bigger deal to me#and I’m horrible at communicating with people especially in real time rather than over email or whatever#so I didn’t really properly get across my concerns and just sort of let her prescribe what she wanted#idk now I’m having doubts and I’ve never really taken meds before beyond otc stuff or like the odd strep prescription when I was younger#especially nothing that messes with your brain like this one does#plus I just really don’t do well with not feeling well or not feeling like myself so that kind of freaks me out#and I really should be sleeping rn but I just need to get this stuff off my chest I guess#it’s like things weren’t totally fine the way they were but they were *fine* you know#not changing things is just easier I guess#I just like to be prepared and researched and this psychiatrist took me off guard#I just don’t know what to do now#if anyone’s read this far- has anyone else with audhd taken lexapro for anxiety?#did it go okay?#im kind of scared of it now#😮💨 okay I really need to go to sleep now#anxiety#autism#Adhd#actually autistic#Vent post#i guess? It was really just in the tags
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…
#hi I’m going to complain for a quick second#so my parents have not contributed a fucking cent to my higher edumacation besides maybe three train tickets#I have paid two semesters so far by my self and with my grandmother giving me some money to help for transportation but that’s legit it#like my parents haven’t financially helped me at all okay#so my dad was going to do taxes today and he told me to print out the college tax thing and I got angry at him#because fuck you use me as a discount when you start to actually help me out at all#so we’re yelling at each other and he’s like oh isn’t there a parent account I can log into and I explain that no it’s fucking college#you do not have a day at all#he does not like this because he really likes being in control of shit#but it’s funny because for the first 16 years of my life he couldn’t give a shit less about my education last two years of HS he tries#to give unhelpful advice that just led to more stress (as in I got a 90 on a test and he’d ask why it wasn’t 100)#so we’re yelling at each other and my sister says to just ignore it because someone might aswell clame it for taxes instead of the state#and yeah sure fine but at least provide some support for me. or fucking tell me you’re proud of me that’s it that’s all I want#the only thing he has given me for school was a fucking BC tee shirt off of Amazon… that’s it#so now we are just fucking avoiding each other and it’s fucking awkward but my mom is treating it like I’m the bad guy here because#I’m angry they told me I had to go to college and now they won’t help me#like I understand that a lot of people don’t have their parents support to pay for college and they do drive me to the train station but#it’s just rude. and I can’t even talk to him about it because oh no big man feelings get hurt when $ is a topic but like grow the fuck up
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hiiii tumblr ^_^ how are the vibes
#gonna open up the server later cuz some friends asked me to but i prolly won’t play today#chronic fatigue is kicking my ass more than usual i almost dozed off at the counter more than once#but i hope everyone’s day is going nice#really excited to read a little something something but i need to sleep first ehehe#but i’m so excited for it i’ve been vibrating all day#anyways how’s ur day been so far! what’s something ur looking forward today? please share :33#rambling
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I love having Thursdays off because I can’t get a single goddamn thing done if I tried
#i’m just going to tally for you all of the people that have disturbed me today#9am my neighbour giving me more red yarn for the community poppy thing#11ish; my stepdad seemingly just wanted to show up and be on his phone at someone else’s house#noon the post arrived#half past 12 the rington’s man showed up selling tea and biscuits (i bought triple chocolate cookies and shortbreads)#2pm my mooncat order arrived ahead of schedule (and none of it broken as far as i can see 🎉🎉🎉)#i’m currently wearing am i everything you fear? from the siren collection and it’s a bit lighter than expected but i still really like it#tried to get a picture but can’t do it justice#on me (pale as fuck but very warm toned skin) it looks like a blue to yellow to pink multichrome shimmer#3pm my meal kit box arrived#4pm my neighbour showed up AGAIN with knitting needles this time and i was like girl i have a ridiculous amount of knitting needles#DO NOT bring any more into my house or they will multiply#then my stepdad showed up again 10 minutes ago#i’m so tired#did i mention my tv’s been acting up all day?#the only things it’s let me watch all the way through with no problems have been two horror movies#one (baghead) was okay and the other (the relic) was dire#it acted up so bad when i was trying to watch the terror and then santa clarita diet that i just gave up#ended up watching the ricky gervais show instead#i literally was like ‘okay awesome i have a day off; i’ll binge a series i’ve been meaning to watch for ages’#and the outside world and also my tv simultaneously said FUCK your binge#at least my nails are done#personal
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I think it’s really fucked up that I’m seriously vibing with a school friend who is always super kind, compassionate, and understanding, and yet I’m still metaphorically tiptoeing around him because I can’t fathom that he doesn’t secretly hate me and need an excuse to tell me off or something.
#coming back to add tags because I have more to say and don’t want to reblog to do so.#like I really fucking hope that the fear I feel doesn’t show through because he hasn’t done anything to make me feel anxious#i’ve just had so many fucked up interactions and friendships#and I’m having trouble receiving the kindness and compassion without feeling like it’ll run out before long#the message that set off my anxiety today?#he asked if basically my gameplay window today was the same as it’s been the past few days#AND I CONFIRMED AND SAID THAT I MIGHT BE ABLE TO PLAY EARLIER#BUT THAT I’M RELYING ON OTHER PEOPLE’S TIMELINES#AND THAT IF IT DIDNT WORK FOR TODAY WE COULD TRY A DIFFERENT DAY#OBJECTIVELY. HIS INITIAL QUESTION. DID NOT IMPLY ANGER OR ANNOYANCE.#BUT ALMOST EVERYONE ELSE I KNOW HAS GOTTEN ANNOYED WITH MY AVAILABILITY AND I’VE GOTTEN NO COMPLAINTS FROM HIM SO FAR#SO I’M WAITING FOR AN ACTUAL EXPLOSION THAT MAY NOT EVER COME
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