#so i wrote this. in 2019.

[lulu2992]

Deleted answering machine messages from Far Cry 5

I found more unreleased content! Here are three messages that were cut and are not available as sound files, but are still transcribed in the oasisstrings file.

“Cult Follower Female 3” - Holland Valley:

Just need to elaborate on somethin' John Seed said earlier. He said we can't think of these people who're joining us as "prisoners." More like people who've been led astray by the world out there. A world that made them dismiss first and think later. They will say YES to their new lives. We need to give them time. Give them love. Make them feel it.

Adelaide Drubman - Whitetail Mountains:

Alright you limped-dick son of a bitch. What on God's green earth did you say to my Xander? Poor sweetheart's been starin' like a deer in headlights for near an hour, eyeballs big as a kitty-cat's. Said you came by is all. Did you threaten him? I swear on my mother's grave, if you threatened him, I will shove my rifle so far up your ass you won't even hear the gunshot. You have no right to be here. Not you or your damn son. So stay clear, you hear me?!

Tweak - Henbane River:

You destroyed my life. Once I've come down from this high I'm gonna get you somehow

I don’t know why they didn’t make it to the game, especially since they all seem still relevant to me. Maybe they were linked to locations that were eventually cut. I’m just speculating but, for example, it’s possible the inside of Fort Drubman (which is in the Whitetail Mountains) was going to be explorable at some point and Adelaide’s message was on a phone in the house. Also, I really wish I knew who Tweak is talking to...

There’s another recording, still available as an audio file, but that I don’t remember ever hearing in the game.

And there are deleted messages from Joseph (one) and Faith (seven), all in the Henbane River region, but I’ve already talked about them here :)

[doctorsiren]

“Seven Birds / Crystal Kingdom”

A TAZ:Balance song / cover I “wrote” back in (i want to say) 2018

I say “wrote” because the lyrics are the prophecy and then the second half is simply a cover of the Crystal Kingdom verses + a final one I added

[poemsonmars]

i am tired of being haunted

by ghosts that never even

had the guts to love me

while they were still alive.

i will not grieve something

that never existed.

you cannot make me.

not this time.

not again.

-mars

[blighted-elf]

LaCroix's Wiki page on SchreckNet 3.0 would just be...

[necrotic-nephilim]

I started in DC by reading fanfics, but as I began to read actual comics, I started to be unable to read the actual fanfic that got me into it in the first place because it's so out of character.

But there are still some stories that I love to read because I love the found family trope so much, even if it isn't really accurate to the source material.

As a comics purist (sometimes), are there tropes that you like enough that you'll still enjoy a fic even if it's not accurate to canon?

oh my god this is SUCH a fun question. bc while i started with the comics, there were certain characters and/or character dynamics where i was exposed to the fanon before the canon (just bc it's hard to read everything when you start out just to read some fanfic) and so i've definitely experienced the fanon to canon transition. (*especially* with Jason Todd. i had only read 80s/90s stuff where he was already dead or the New-52 bc that was on-going when i got into comics and man. the fanon misunderstandings i had about him before i got frustrated and sat down to read all his pre-Flashpoint stuff were absolutely bonkers.) and aside from that, whilst i tend to prefer canon over fanon, i'm not past giving fanon its flowers for occasionally having really interesting insights. occasionally. so some of my fanon "guilty pleasure" tropes would probably be

Morally Grey Tim Drake - this is one where if you try to back it up with canon, i *will* get salty about it. of everyone in the Batfam aside from maybe Bruce and Cass, Tim has the *most* black and white morals. often his internal conflicts are routed in such an inability to compromise his moral views and it can cause him to clash with other characters. he's *very* stiff and rigid in his beliefs and is *rare* to compromise in even the smallest ways. i mean, DC has repeatedly used Tim Drake of Tomorrow/Savior/Gun Batman!Tim for a reason. it's to demonstrate that of everyone, Tim *cannot* have his morals compromised. there's no grey area for him. he's zero or a hundred, so if he tips over the edge of "too far" he tips *all the way*, and doing so is one of his worst fears, how he could go "too far" if he let himself. a couple panels out of context from Red Robin (2009) (which was a grief spiral for Tim to begin with) don't change that. now that said. if it's done *right*, i sort of love Tim being morally grey in fanfic. it takes a specific flavor for me, and it's incredibly important to include that mental spiral along with it, of him struggling to justify it. i don't have any interest in "Tim Drake is loosy goosy with Bruce's morals and has the highest kill count and no one knows teehee" bc it doesn't play with the interesting parts of making Tim morally grey, which are fracturing his psyche. but all in all, i think it's fun to put Tim in a morally grey area and i will read it in fanfic and i enjoy writing it a lot

Joker Junior!Tim Drake - i've not written it on this account (yet) but on my main ao3 account one of my biggest fics surrounds this concept. this is one of those "well *technically* it's canon but only in a specific very divorced from the comics universe and would not work at all in the main timeline" so, i categorize it as fanon in that 95% of fics exploring the concept are not doing so within the Batman Beyond universe, but the main timeline. i just love it. I'll take any excuse to whump Tim, but this concept is so fun. psychologically breaking Tim will always be my favorite pastime. there are so many ways to explore the long-term effects this could have on him, how it could affect the Batfam. i'm not a fan of it being used as a "gotcha" to Jason or Babs' trauma with the Joker to paint Tim as the Ultimate Victim, but it is fun to see how their relationships would be affected by being mutual victims of him. (i have a vague JayTim idea where TIm fully retires from being Robin after being Joker Junior and killing the Joker, making Steph Robin for most of his typical Robin era and Jason still tracks him down out of curiosity bc he wants to know what happened and all. very underbaked but i've got thoughts.)

Renegade/Apprentice of Slade!Dick Grayson - this is another one where yes, this happened *sort of* in canon, but i highly doubt most people writing Renegate!Dick have read or are actually pulling from Nightwing: Renegade. it's just an exploration fo the concept fo Dick being Slade's apprentice and i will always eat it up in any capacity. whether Dick grows up with Slade from a young age, or chooses Slade for whatever reason later in life. it's not anything that works in canon bc it compromises Dick morally (similar to the above with Tim) and therefore will always come across incredibly fanon in most fics. but i can't say i don't enjoy it. it's fun to make Dick a little morally fucked up and see what you can make him under Slade's tutelage.

Jason & Damian Meeting in the League -there's no world where i believe this could work in the canon comics. (maybe in the Young Justice cartoon i suppose, but even then i think it's iffy) i would go as far to say it's wildly unrealistic. i don't see a world where Ra's would let Jason anywhere *near* Damian, bc Jason was Talia's pet project that he didn't approve of. that all said, there's something very interesting about how they *could've* met and them potentially bonding during that timeframe. them being somewhat brotherly during this time because Jason sees Bruce in Damian and sort of latches onto the kid and Damian is full of wonder hearing real stories about Batman and Robin, then that getting violently ripped away by Jason leaving the League is fun to me. it's fun how that could affect them within the Batfam and all. it's super fanon to me, but i do not care. i will eat it up

Bad Dad Clark Kent/Good Dad Lex Luthor - i will admit as a late, i've been less and less kind to this particular fanon bc of everything i've argued with people about, *this* one seems the most pervasive as misunderstood fanon. i don't mind when fanon exists, my gripe is when ppl try to claim it's canon. and the *arguments* i've had over this with people who can never seem to cite an actual comic are... frustrating. but that said, i think there is something fun to this strictly in fanon. the duality of who you expect to accept Kon and who you expect to hurt him being flipped is just sort of fun for the occasional guilty pleasure fic. it can make Kon's internal conflict a bit more interesting. the same goes for the Jon favoritism from Clark, it's not a canon thing (and i rlly wish ppl understood how complicated the timeline of Kon and Jon is and any distance from Clark toward Kon isn't malice, it's that Kon is from a timeline that Clark does not remember in the current canon so Clark just straight up doesn't know the poor kid.) but it's sort of fun to give Kon that complex of being overlooked and forgotten sometimes. making Kon just a *bit* more Luthor than Kent will *always* appeal to me in fanfic, especially if he *knows* it's wrong but craves approval from anyone who will give it.

Good Dad Bruce Wayne - i'll die on the hill Bruce is canonically a shitty father. maybe not to the extreme some people write him as, but he's not great at it. that said, i enjoy it in fanfiction. sometimes, i just want silly fluff or hurt/comfort where Bruce finally gets it right and manages to comfort whatever Batkid is in the fic. one of my favorite fics of all time is hinged on Bruce being a good dad, so i think it's just fun to explore how good the relationships *could* be, if Bruce was slightly less of an asshole. i usually prefer him as an asshole, but there are times i want low stakes nonsense.

Gotham Rogues Having Soft Spots for Robin(s) - just about every Rogue in Gotham has done something absolutely irredeemable, and most of them don't like or care about anyone in the Batfamily. but if there's a fic where one of the Robins inexplicably is sort of close with a Rogue and they have a cute silly relationship out of it? I'll eat it up i fear. Steph and the Riddler are besties? I'll believe it. Tim and Scarecrow get along pretty well? give me ten of these. Rogues protecting Robins just hits a spot. the unexpected nature of the relationship, as well as the fact they see each other regularly, can make a lot of good fodder.

[jonmoxleys]

just a quick psa: remember to credit photographers when posting/editing pictures of wrestlers in njpw. if you don't have the original source, it's better not to post it. many of these photos are taken by japanese fans, and some don't allow their photos to be posted onto other social media platforms without their permission.

[corvid-ghost]

Mike and Bill just talking about who knows what. It's been hours at this point, Bill asks"What did you think of my book? I heard people didn't like the ending." Mike goes quiet a bit, still smiling. "You wanna know what I thought? Hold on, I'll be right back, i need t get something" and he comes back with Bill's book and hands it too him "Your giving me, my book? Why?" "Open it." Every page has writing on it, annotations everywhere. "Everything I thought of your book is in there. I wanted to make sure everything was in there. Either in case I ended up forgetting too, or... or maybe i would see you again to give it to."

When Bill goes through it later he finds a letter taped to the back.

"Dear Bill,

I know I'll probably never see you again, but if you get this, I just want you to know eveything. You were always an exceptional person, and an even better writer. I miss you and the losers every day. I remember you showing us your writings when we were younger. They were always great. Always with flaws, like with everything, but those made the story wonderful and exceptional. Just like you. I think this tory hs been your best so far. I don't even know if you remember your old ones. I can see some inspiration taken from them in this one. I don't know if you knew, but it's there. Now, I know you want to hear what I think of your ending. Honestly, it's a bad ending, but not in the way most people say. No other ending would have worked. Your ending followed the themes of the book. It's just that the themes aren't what people want. I didn't enjoy your ending, but I don't think we were supposed to. I did however understand it. I hope to see you again. I hope you get to know this. I miss you Bill. I miss everything about you. I hope some day you will remember me. I feel terrible for saying this. Knowing the only way this would happen is if It comes back again. I don't want that to happen. Im sorry. I honestly dont even know why im writing this. I know we're probably never going to see eachother again. Even if we do, theres no telling what will happen. I dont know, Bill. But I know I love you. I love eveything about you Bill.

Love,

Mike"

Bill looks over to Mike sleeping on the couch. Wondering if he knows what he wrote, or if he knew it was still in here. Did he mean to give this to him?

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

girl yeeeesssss spill the fucking tea 😫 don't go hiding that drama in the tags

Okay, so originally I wasn’t going to say anything because I did not have the energy or desire to rehash all of this to a community that I hardly interact with besides post-dumping every ~4 months. But then, ironically, two people DM’d me about this this week and now I’m feeling spiteful again, so let me regale you with the cringe tales of the Tumblr g/t community and why it gives me a headache to think about. And you know what? This bitch is being a pinned post, too, because I’m not going to let it be swept under the rug anymore. I’m rocking the boat, I’m naming names, I’ll be a little goblin starting dumpster fires.

Now, I will say there are definitely further issues in the community that I can’t personally speak on – rampant racism, transphobia, etc. That’s not to say these things aren’t happening or aren’t important to bring attention to, but I am not someone who witnessed it firsthand or experienced it. In my handful of years being active in this community, they are topics that have been brought up a fair few times, which is enough of a sign that it’s an ongoing issue. However, I also have not looked at any g/t related tags in almost a year, so whether or not these discussions are still happening or have been relatively resolved, I don’t know. It’s not my place to talk about them in depth when I would have no idea what I’m talking about or what to reference, in which case I implore others who have unfortunately dealt with this to please speak out about it. There’s other drama I am able to talk about because I went through it myself or by proxy, and so that’s only what I’m going to be relaying in this post. 

I feel like the most infamous implosion was the GTMS/Chamomile-g-tea debacle from half a year or so back, but at the same time based on the messages and DM’s I’ve received, it seems like…a lot of people have forgotten about that, or at least weren’t around/invested enough to know what happened. The quick recap is that @unicornofgt created a written series about giant mech suits that were actually powered by giant humans in a post-apocalyptic setting, inspired by a post made by our shared friend bolshoycorvid about Pacific Rim. It grew into a fairly well known series in the community, and while I had only read the first chapter, I still at least recognized it from my mutuals and some of the tags. 

And then Cham found it and became utterly obsessed with it, pumping out fanart left and right and opening the floodgates for its popularity. And that’s so cool! That’s great that such a talented artist with a large following genuinely enjoys someone else’s work that much, and is introducing it further to the fanbase for people to read! It’s amazing to get that kind of feedback to know people want to make art of your handcrafted characters because they adore them that much, it’s one of the best compliments a writer can get!

Except Cham really started getting into it. Like, helping-create-two-Discord-servers-without-permission, kind of into it. Like, posting-fanart-on-multiple-platforms-without-source-credit, kind of into it. Like, repeatedly-responding-to-messages-about-the-characters-without-consulting, kind of into it. And when I tell you her art for the main characters were everywhere, I mean they were everywhere, not just in the Tumblr g/t community. Tiktok, Twitter, Instagram, they were posted, and they were never credited back to unicornofgt. I had friends send me her animatics of it, gushing about how amazing it was, totally unaware that it was a storyboard to the first chapter of GTMS (which I recognized and told them, at least).

And was unicornofgt mentioned in any of these posts, was their fic linked, was it even noted that these weren’t her original creations she was spamming to every platform? Nope. Not a word. They actually had to repeatedly ask Cham to credit them as she continued to drop the ball, and even so it was too little too late, finally coming in the few weeks before unicornofgt put a stop to it altogether. Some platforms would only allow an additional note to be added via comment, which was often missed or drowned out by the sea of other messages. Other places like Tumblr could allow a full body edit, however that did nothing for the hundreds of reblogs that were already circulating without a link back to unicornofgt, and are still out there, even if unicornofgt had Cham delete her GTMS posts. 

And naturally, if you’re not in the already niche Tumblr community, and even if you’re new to said community, you would have no idea! You would see her post these characters, answer questions about details for these characters, maybe even be invited by Cham to one or both of the two Discord servers for these characters (of which unicornofgt was a member of, but more often than not still not addressed for their story as Cham would take over and talk about GTMS when they were not online to agree/disagree) – Of course you’d naturally assume these are her characters and her story, and even if you knew different, you might become one of the many people swept up in the fandom environment created by Cham, which treated her as the forefront of it.

And please, don’t think I’m taking this out of context. Understand that unicornofgt DM’d me about all of this before they eventually abandoned their Tumblr a while ago due to this situation and the rampant bigotry in the community , and you can read their farewell post here. They told me about the growing anxiety and morphing disdain they felt when it came to their series, because it felt like that creative freedom had been robbed, pressured to morph their original vision to appease Cham, even  at the expense of their own passion for GTMS. They felt unheard, ignored, and pushed aside while Cham got to reap the benefits of their own hard work to bring it into existence in the first place. No matter how much they spoke about it in private with Cham or openly on the two Discord servers (they had never wanted in the first place), it didn’t matter. 

They told me about the instances in which they had multiple talks with Cham about this crossing boundaries, but ultimately not feeling  they could enforce them because as a meager content creator, they should feel grateful that someone so popular was giving their work as much attention as it was getting. Friends and followers agreed with that sentiment because more and more people were becoming unaware who the true creator was, and it seemed on the surface unicornofgt consented. They told me about how Cham had to be repeatedly told to stop and redirect any questions relating to GTMS to unicornofgt, instead of taking it upon herself to answer them, as a majority of the time whatever she said was at best a bad rehashing of unicornofgt’s own explainations that watered down unicornofgt’s characters to “silly stupid little incompenant man” and “big badass woman who loves him sooo much”, and completely ignored bolshoycorvid’s characters altogether. Sure, to Cham’s benefit, she would back down…for a little while, and then start those habits all over again and ignore what was previously requested, especially during the mini internet breaks unicornofgt would have to take since the pressure  gave them further fatigue, contributing to their pre-existing chronic health problems.

 Let’s not forget the free for all fandom that was created as well. Anyone with questions/comments/concerns all went straight to Cham and rarely to unicornofgt. Art requests, ideas or what-ifs, AUs – all to Cham. Her friends and mutuals straight up telling bolshoycorvid that they’ve never read their GTMS fics despite them being a fair chunk of the overarching universe, simply because they were hardly acknowledged in Cham’s art and frequent posting. The influx of underaged users coming in to join the fun and the Discord servers, which unicornofgt had already said they were uncomfortable with and had wanted the main server to at least be 18+ (a request that was, once again, ignored by Cham, who irresposibily never checked the ages of new users to the point any and all of her mod privileges were revoked and all invites were turned off). So many problems came from having those kids in an 18+ space, essentially taken over by Cham, that unicornofgt decided to pull the plug on the entire server and cut finally Cham off a week later.

From my understanding, this fandom behavior was even worse on Twitter to the point the GTMS characters were selected to be used in a roleplay tournament. The host reached out to Cham for her opinion of character authenticity during the rounds, while others were asking if they could use her art/comics for voice acting. Meanwhile Cham sent all of these to unicornogft because she thought it was funny, but  didn’t reiterate to any of these people that these were NOT her characters and if they wanted permission from the creator, they needed to reach out to unicornofgt. Even when unicornofgt tried to pass on this message, it was ignored by Cham’s little fandom, who continued to view her as the creative authority. 

But even worse than Twitter was the Tiktok, where many of Cham’s GTMS videos went semi-viral, still leaving her sitting pretty at 18k followers while neither unicornofgt or bolshoycorvid saw any of it. Hundreds of comments gushed about the art, meanwhile both the true creators were lost in it. Eventually Cham didn’t even ask permission before posting, not bothering to check if it was true to the characters, but why stop to think when those videos are getting views up to 250k, with all the comments telling you they adore you and your work? It is your work, right? 

What’s so insane to me is that you would think for such a talented artist, she would know the value of being properly credited for your work, especially fanwork across multiple platforms. But no, it had to be explained to her the importance of crediting the real creators of these characters in her posts, and the highly contrasting way people consume art, quick and easy to appreciate, vs writing, which takes more time to consume and appreciate. This isn’t some multi-billion dollar international franchise that’s universally recognized at a glance like DC/Marvel. This was a fun little series created between friends and shared with a small community as something new to enjoy for a little while. It’s not a licensed IP, it’s someone’s personal pet project that they enjoy. It’s completely unreasonable to assume a rando on Twitter is going to look at a badass pose of a giant woman and know that it at least came from an obscure series from an obscure fandom by a single person who was just trying to have fun on the internet. Hell, even 4chan users on the hentai board ask for sources all the time, to know who created these characters they’re jacking off to so that they can go check out their other work!! 

Instead, you try to get the source for a GTMS fanart, you likely get Cham, and from Cham you get…no one. Because she failed over and over to  make reference that it belonged to anyone else, via tags or in the text body, until long after it was too late with an edit. And there’s no sense in trying to beat around the bush, that’s borderline art theft. You took a character word for word, design for design, setting for setting, and sold it off as your own. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t your intention, that you were ignorant of the consequences – it’s what happened and it needs to be owned up to. This isn’t a petty squabble between two teens on fanfic.net about a demonsona OC for Sonic Underground, this is an adult making a conscious decision to post content of something that doesn’t belong to her and not give an ounce of credit. Not only that, it just furthers the divide between artists and writers in a creative space, with the latter hardly ever getting their dues for putting in their effort for a written piece that an artist can doodle in 15 min.

 It was like creating a spectacle out of smoke, a flimsy foundation that was bearing its full weight down on the mental and emotional health of the person who actually created it. In a matter of months unicornofgt had gone from a simple writer of funny size difference things to being forced to watch their vision be watered down for the sake of uwu soft giantess wholesomeness, none of it being done by their hand.

And I think the worst part about all of this, after this whole mess finally came to light thanks to unicornofgt finally finding the courage to put their foot down and cut Cham off completely (both as a friend and for having permission to make anything GTMS related in the future), is that it was unicornofgt who had to leave this platform. It was bolshoycorvid who had to leave, in part for other reasons, but because they were also snuffed during this fiasco as well as both a co-creator and someone who had their own canon OCs/fics in the GTMS world. It was other friends and mutuals who left because they couldn’t stand the toxicity of this fandom anymore, the hypocrisy, the sheer lack of critical thinking and the inability to hold people accountable for their actions. GTMS was essentially abandoned after the dumpster fire was put out and that was it. The series that everyone seemed to fawn over and adore was forgotten at the drop of a hat. 

Why? Because it wasn’t the written fics or unicornofgt that everyone was attached to; it was Cham’s art and her version of an OOC story she was pushing they loved. And once she stopped posting it, that was it. Dead in the water. Absolutely tainted. Can you blame unicornofgt for not wanting to touch their own creation that they had made from the ground up and put so much thought and energy into, all because it had been essentially stolen and ruined by someone with a much larger following? A following that hit over 20K during Cham’s GTMS reign across multiple platforms , might I add, while unicornofgt was lucky to see a fraction of that for the same concept. 

I also want to note again that these are retellings told directly to me from the persons involved, including unicornofgt prior to their leaving, former fans, and Discord members, that I am airing with their permission. I’m also not someone who has a lot of social media or who followed GTMS at all, this is almost entirely coming from the creator (the REAL creator) in the time before they left, their experience dealing with the fallout, and the sentiment that even still they don’t hate Cham, but just wish there was even a single legitimate consequence on Cham’s part (and that non stop self bashing at the rescue of yes-men does not count). And it hurts to see a fellow g/t content creator be so scarred from this, to lose all interest in the things they cared about most and only wanted to share with their friends, due to one person’s inability to stop and think about their actions. And sure, maybe this is old drama, maybe it’s small and petty to still bring up, but it doesn’t seem like anyone else is going to pull back the rug that this was swept under, so it might as well be the local menace to the community to make a long ass post about it. Chamomile-g-tea killed an entire series and drove the creator, the co-creator, several fans and several more friends who also made g/t content off of an entire website because she couldn’t be bothered to not feel entitled to other people’s toys.

I lost a lot of good friends as a result of this, and the g/t community lost a lot of good content creators as well, to the point this really was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me to say fuck it. To sit here and watch my mutuals abandon their Tumblr’s and all their works in favor of avoiding Cham and her followers who keep pretending  she did nothing wrong, acting like her excitement justified her “promotion” of the story, never holding her accountable and accepting at face value her claims  that she had no idea the distress she was creating, letting her act as if she’s the victim of this whole ordeal – nah, chief. It didn’t matter if it was on purpose or not, it still happened, and she was allowed to get away with it scot-free, so I will continually throw this in everyone’s face so that the g/t community never forgets its track record . 

Because I really don’t understand how this entire community can go through the same run around of “is fearplay/petplay morally wrong to create in a place full of minors” (which is another debate I am NOT getting into right now) and cause several blogs to abandon ship over the backlash they received…but a well known artist forces a popular series to be discontinued and runs off the original creator and their friends after she stole their concept, and everyone is just like “damn, that sucks, she just got too excited /:” and pretends it’s nothing? There have been plenty of former blogs that were called out for less and were forced to be accountable for whatever fuckery they were doing. Besides, I thought we were supposed to be thinking about the poor children here, the sweet minors, which was what her wholesome SFW blog catered to. Last I heard from one of her followers she started posting softcore GTS (I wouldn’t know, I have literally 0 desire to scout her blog), which sure, go ham bestie with your titties and light crushing, we all know I’m an 18+ blog. 

But then she continues to interact and mass reblog from minors and bring them into her inner circle, sooo…which is it? Are we worried about corrupting the kids or not? Do minors have the ability to use critical thinking about what concepts are right or wrong, or not? Are people accountable for what they post or is it the responsibility of the viewers who need to heed the tags? Y’all don’t get to have it both ways. Not to mention, I will reiterate again, she never verified anyone’s ages and let them in freely to what was intended to be an 18+ space on the GTMS servers, which created PROBLEMS to the point the servers had to be shut down.

Everyone else can sit around thinking she got off scot-free and never needing to address the fact she destroyed an entire series beyond a meaningless sorry, but I’m not going to forget, even if I’m still the only one left from that era and friend group to be able to tell this side of the story. That hurt my friends just as much as it hurt the community to lose such incredible writers and their beloved content, and that’s inexcusable to me. Writers in general are already treated awful, especially in the g/t community, to the point people have the audacity to complain there’s no new content to enjoy after all the good writers got fed up with the lack of recognition. Art and writing are two different mediums and they both require an insane amount of talent to pull off beautifully – just because you can enjoy a pretty picture in 15 seconds versus a plot-rich fic in twenty-five minutes does not make one superior to the other. But if those fics are continually pushed aside, then why would any creator waste their hours and days and weeks and months making a story for no one to see? 

Writing out concepts and ideas are a labor of love that are graciously shared to YOU to also enjoy. Trust me, I have no problem keeping an idea to myself or to be tossed back and forth to my friends for fun, it’s far less effort to still ‘see’ whatever story I would have jotted down for 20K words. If the community is going to continue treating writers like shit, as demonstrated through this hot mess, then of course no one is going to stick around to deal with it. A talented writer lost the world they built, the characters they developed, the story they were trying to tell, to one single artist, yet they were the one who had to pack it up and call it quits after getting hit with hate, while the other gets to roll in the second hand clout from un-credited posts across various platforms to further their own artistic career.

And frankly, I don’t really care about what kind of reception this post has; if it’s only seen by 5 people or if it’s seen by Cham herself, if people agree or disagree vehemently with it. This blog is also more or less dead aside from the few times a year I drop a new fic or art, so feel free to scream into its void as much as you want lmao

[lipssoscarlett]

okay so just like

you've been building up to coming out. you've been teasing it with 2 (?) music videos

one of which is like you as the mayor of gay town where you hired a drag queen of yourself and showed yourself hugging a woman you had had very public beef with and... whole yntcd mv post coming soon lmao

correct me if in wrong but like all of her music videos pre reputation were just like very heterosexual no? like not just made by a straight person but they were about straight relationships (ours, love story, our song*, we are never ever getting back together, wildest dreams, style, etc)

your sm posts are very queer coated, you've been dropping hints and some people are starting to realize

you do a show at stonewall. like stonewall inn. during pride month. you have not come out officially but imagine you're a baby queer, it's one of the first prides where you know you're queer (or that a few other people know you're queer, i don't know what her timeline is lol) and you get to play at stonewall. you got to work with so many queer legends in a personal project about your experience with homophobia. you stared and directed in a music video about all the things that make you you.

i could be wrong on this but wasn't it lover era that she started directing her own mvs?

imagine what an amazing experience that is. you've just moved record labels and have so much more creative control, you have 2 amazing music videos under your belt. you created this big fan arg thing, and a bunch more creatively fulfilling projects in the works for after pride.

you commissioned a queer designer to make a dress for you for pride, you're going to come out. you're going to rip the bandaid off. whether you'd explicitly say it or not, there's not a damn chance a supportive straight person would wear a camp ass rainbow tool ballgown dress to the 50th anniversary of stonewall pride parade. no way. an ally that was hired to perform at pride would wear a t shirt that says support trans kids, some cut off shorts, and a pronoun pin. the would wear something lowkey because they are an ally and pride is not about allies. allies do not deliberately attract attention at pride ESPECIALLY not nyc pride, exactly 50 years after the hairpin drop (no we do not have time to discuss the hairpins) heard round the world.

instead though, on june 30th your work gets stolen. one of the men at the helm of the worst depressive episodes of your life now owns the music you created over the past 13 years. you were at a new record label. you were doing what you wanted, you were calling the shots, you were going to buy your own music at some point soon and then once you owned it, you could license it to movies, you could let other people use it in their work on your own terms. you would be earning money from the things you created. but instead, you found out on what was supposed to be one of the most important days of your life, that the worst person now owns 11 years of your soul. he owns music you wrote about things he caused. he owns music you wrote about neighbors and past loves and about yourself. and you found this out publicly. at the same time that everyone else did.

you can't go to pride now. you cannot wear that dress. you cannot be gay and joyful and happy when the worst thing to happen to you professionally has just happened. so you stay in the closet. you stay half in and half out. you've done all this flagging but for what? your coming out was stolen from you. your plan didn't go through and you can't try again because there will be no pride next year or the year after that, and it wont be the 50 year anniversary. your first music videos for songs that you own will be old news, your album will have already come out; unlike you. you're cut in half, stuck between 2 worlds. you couldn't force yourself back into the closet if you wanted to, but can't come out either, and it's been 5 years

[boardwalk-absurdist]

made it a whole 5 episodes into my furuba rewatch before tearing up for the first time so you could say i’m p mentally tough

but the boys going to fetch tohru from her grandpa’s house and the onigiri finally being called always fucking gets me

[freckleslikestars]

Endeavour

1.02 Fugue | 7.03 Zenana

[ahappydnp]

“but of course also dragging phil in for some pics where they're fully exuding power couple” i am thinking them Not just standing next to each other but maybe an arm around the other or actually like Posing. Giving red carpet couple. I would pass away! I need this Dan needs to see your vision.

casual pda is sooo me bait its everything like they just look So Good together even just side by side i cannot fathom the power of them owning their togetherness

[recurring-polynya]

Hi ! I originally found you through your Ikkayumi fic you posted, and I was sooo very happy to find that you had so many renruki fics/were a regular author that focused on them !

I reel over any fic that focuses on whatever Renji was doing in the space between him and Rukia disconnecting, and especially whatever that man was doing in his stint at squad eleven back then.

I think that Renji is only helplessly pathetic whenever it comes to Rukia, and I always wonder what he did to cope with that ( if he successfully coped with it at all ) in her absence, or how long he managed to avoid talking about her. For as much as he was around them, I’d like to imagine he probably caved and dumped that info off on Ikkaku or Yumichika at some point. Unfortunately, both of them are emotionally constipated people, and they’ve got no idea what the hell to do to cheer him up bc they’re not the kind of guys who are great at emotional kouhai support.

They collaborate on a miraculously decent plan to get their guy out of the dumps, and though the plan is pretty great, shit hits the fan and it all falls to pieces. Renji enjoys every minute of it, even though he’s got no idea what they’re doing, and ends up satisfied with their horrible attempt because he knows this isn’t their specialty but because they do care.

I always juggle between hyper fixating on either of them, but as much as I enjoy both pairings, the best thing is always getting to see any match of them interacting with each other.

Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this if you do !! I seriously admire your writing and I appreciate your dedication to Rukia and Renji, and I love how canonically accurate you write them. Your fics always really make my day, so thank you for sharing as well !

Thank you so much!! I am also fascinated with this period of history. It's hard for me to write about, although I've made a few attempts.

Renji-without-Rukia is an interesting creature. Here's my take on it: I think that he's competent at least in the ways that are expected of Gotei officers, which is to say, he is very good at sticking his sword in things. On the other hand, he's also low-key self-destructive, in the way that you don't especially notice, especially if you're used to hanging out with the general populace of Squad 11. He's a fine soldier, hard-working, driven, even, but he lacks all of the qualities of the Renji we know now--his aura of friendship, his first-into-the-breach enthusiasm, his patience and empathy toward his younger squadmates. Of course, Ikkaku and Yumichika don't really know there's anything wrong with him, at least not at first, but the longer they get to know him, Yumichika, specifically, might realize that there's someone better buried down in there. Yumichika would probably break out in a rash if he tried to be kind to someone, especially to a youth, but there if there is a thing Yumichika will do, it is give beauty advice and so he started harassing Renji about his skincare and hair routines which you can't do if you can't learn to care about yourself, and that was a real turning point for Renji.

Personally, I think Renji was at Eleven for a long time before he told anyone about Rukia (the one exception was Iba, his roommate, who was frequently subjected to late-night rambles on her when Renji was absolutely sloshed, but Iba is Iba). I'm actually always very touched by the seriousness with which Kubo portrays Ikkaku and Yumichika's reactions to the Rukia story.

To me, the best way to cheer Renji up about all of this is to take his goals seriously and to otherwise just treat him like a normal member of the Eleventh, which is exactly what he needed at that time.

I'm really only an IkkaYumi casual at best, but one thing I do really like about them is that I think Renji sees them as the blueprint for the relationship he would like to have with Rukia: battle partners first and foremost, tough as Hell and twice as hot, different but complementary, two halves of one whole idiot. He is absolutely deranged for this, but I think it's very charming, and to be honest, I think Rukia would, too.

[justapalspal]

My followers and mutuals and friends whom I love. Do any of you have conlanging/linguistics technical term knowledge in ur heads. I’m curious if anyone here actually would understand my hobby sans me explaining the technical details of it in layman’s speech

[afterartist]

I would genuinely be surprised if any of you recognised these 3 block guys

But these are characters from back in 2019 that I posted about on my Twitter,

I recently found some old drawings of them and decided to redraw/design them,

I may do something with them again but idk lol

And also here’s their original designs (this is back when still I thought bones were easier to draw then clothes /: sooo)

N e ways that’s it lol

[milkochaa]

brain rotting so badly about timmy that I dive right back into making (coughs, wheezes) ...art? I'm actually going back to drawing??? who am I??? tims making me want to draw his stupid ass?? not even writing cld fix this problem!!?? not enough!! *collapses