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causeiwanttoandican · 4 years ago

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Harry, Meghan and me: my truth as a royal reporter

I've covered elections and extremism, but nothing compares to the vitriol I've received since I started writing about the Sussexes

By Camilla Tominey, Associate Editor27 March 2021 • 6:00am

It is probably worth mentioning from the outset that I never, ever, planned to become a royal reporter. I mean, who does? It’s one of those ridiculous jobs most people fall into completely by accident.

I certainly wasn’t coveting the position when I first found out how bonkers the beat could be after covering Charles and Camilla’s wedding in 2005. Desperate for ‘a line’ on what went on at the reception, journalists were reduced to flagging down passing cars in Windsor High Street and interrogating the likes of Stephen Fry about whether they’d had the salmon or the chicken.

Watergate, this wasn’t.

Yet when my former editor called me into his office shortly afterwards and offered me the royal job ‘because you’re called Camilla and you dress nicely’, who was I to refuse?

Having planned to get married myself that summer, and start a family soon afterwards, I looked to the likes of Jennie Bond and Penny Junor and figured it would be a good patch for a working mother as well as being one I could grow old with. Unlike show business, when celebrities are ‘in’ one minute and ‘out’ the next, the royals would stay the same, making it easier to build – and keep – contacts.

So if you’d told me that 16 years later, I would find myself at the centre of a media storm over a royal interview with Oprah Winfrey, I’d have probably laughed in your face. First of all, only royals like Fergie do interviews with Oprah. And since when did journalists become the story?

Yet as I have experienced since the arrival of Meghan Markle on the royal scene in 2016 – a move that roughly coincided with Twitter doubling its 140-character limitation to 280 – royal reporters like me now find themselves in the line of fire like never before.

We are used to the likes of Kate Adie coming under attack in the Middle East, but now it is the correspondents who write up events like Trooping the Colour and the Royal Windsor Horse Show having to take cover from the keyboard warriors supposedly defending the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s ‘truth’.

Accusations of racism have long been levelled against anyone who has dared to write less than undiluted praise of Harry and Meghan. But even I have been taken aback by the vitriol on social media in the wake of the couple’s televised two-hour talk-a-thon, in which they branded both the Royal family and the British press racist while complaining about their ‘almost unsurvivable’ multimillionaire lives at the hands of the evil monarchy. And all while the rest of the UK were losing their loved ones and livelihoods in a global pandemic.

Having covered Brexit, general elections and stories about Islamic extremism, I’ve grown used to being sprayed with viral vomit on a fairly regular basis, but when you’ve got complete strangers trolling your best friend’s Instagram feed by association? That’s Britney Spears levels of toxic.

Having a hind thicker than a rhino’s, it wasn’t the repeated references to my being ‘a total c—’ that particularly bothered me, nor even the suggestion that I should have my three children put up for adoption. At one point someone even said it would be a good idea for me to drink myself to death like my mother, about whose chronic alcoholism I have written extensively.

No, what really got me was the appalling spelling and grammar. I mean, if you’re going to hurl insults, at least have the decency to get my name right.

Yet in order to understand just how it has come to pass that so-called #SussexSquaders think nothing of branding all royal correspondents ‘white supremacists’ regardless of who they write for, or sending hate mail to our email addresses, offices – and in some cases, even our homes – it’s worth briefly going to back to when I first broke the story that Prince Harry was dating an American actor in the Sunday Express on 31 October 2016. Headlined: ‘Royal world exclusive: Harry’s secret romance with TV star’, the splash revealed how the popular prince was ‘secretly dating a stunning US actress, model and human rights campaigner’.

Despite my now apparently being on a par with the Ku Klux Klan for failing to acknowledge Meghan as the next messiah, it was actually not until the fifteenth paragraph of that original article that the ‘confident and intelligent’ Northwestern University graduate was described as ‘the daughter of an African-American mother and a father of Dutch and Irish descent’.

Call me superficial, but I was genuinely far more interested in the fact that Harry ‘I-come-with-baggage’ Wales was dating a former ‘briefcase girl’ from the US version of Deal or No Deal than the colour of her skin. A ginger prince punching well above his weight? This was the stuff of tabloid dreams. Little did I know then that covering the trials and tribulations of these two lovebirds would turn into such a nightmare.

The online hostility began bubbling up about eight days after that first story, when Harry’s then communications secretary Jason Knauf issued an ‘unprecedented’ statement accusing the media of ‘crossing a line’.

‘His girlfriend, Meghan Markle, has been subject to a wave of abuse and harassment’, it read, referencing a ‘smear on the front page of a national newspaper; the racial undertones of comment pieces; and the outright sexism and racism of social media trolls and web article comments’. Meghan’s mother, Doria Ragland, had apparently been besieged by photographers, while bribes had been offered to Meghan’s ex-boyfriend along with ‘the bombardment of nearly every friend, coworker, and loved one in her life’.

Suffice to say, I did feel a bit guilty. Although I hadn’t written anything remotely racist or sexist, I had started the ball rolling for headlines like the MailOnline’s ‘(Almost) straight outta Compton’ (referencing a song by hip-hop group NWA about gang violence and Meghan’s upbringing in the nearby LA district of Crenshaw), along with her ‘exotic’ DNA (which I subsequently called out, including on This Morning in the wake of ‘Megxit’ in January last year).

Omid Scobie, co-author of Finding Freedom, a highly favourable account of the Sussexes’ departure from the Royal family, written with their cooperation last summer, would later insist that the couple knew the story of their relationship was coming out and were well prepared for it.

I can tell you categorically that they weren’t, since I did not even put a call into Kensington Palace before we went to press for fear of it being leaked. (I did later discuss this with Harry, when I covered his trip to the Caribbean in November 2016, and to be fair he was pretty philosophical, agreeing it would have come out sooner or later. But that was before the former Army Captain decided to well and truly shoot the messenger, latterly telling journalists covering the newly-weds’ tax-payer-funded October 2018 tour of Australia and the south Pacific: ‘Thanks for coming, even though you weren’t invited.’)

The royal press pack is the group of dedicated writers who cover all the official engagements and tours on a rota system, in exchange for not bothering the royals as they go about their private business. It was a shame this ragtag bunch, of which I am an associate member, was never personally introduced to Meghan when the couple got engaged in November 2017.

I still have fond memories of a then Kate Middleton, upon her engagement to Prince William in November 2010, showing me her huge sapphire and diamond ring following a press conference at St James’s Palace with the words, ‘It was William’s mother’s so it is very special.’

I replied that she might want to consider buying ‘one of those expanding accordion style file holders’ to organise all her wedding paperwork. (Reader, I had given birth to my second child less than four months earlier and was still lactating.)

Not meeting Meghan did not stop royal commentators like me writing reams about her being ‘a breath of fresh air’ and telling practically every TV show I appeared on that she was the ‘best thing to have happened to the Royal Family in years’.

As the world followed the joyous news of the Windsors’ resident strip billiards star having finally found ‘the one’, the couple enjoyed overwhelmingly positive press culminating in their fairy-tale wedding in May 2018, which we headlined ‘So in love’ above a picture of the bride and groom kissing. I tweeted the wedding front page, along with the original story breaking the news of their relationship with the words, ‘Job done’. Yet, as Meghan would later point out in a glossy Santa Barbara garden, that was by far the end of the story.

According to the Duchess’s testimony before a global audience of millions, the seeds for their royal departure were actually sown by an article I wrote in November 2018 suggesting she made Kate cry during a bridesmaid’s dress fitting for Princess Charlotte.

Claiming the ‘reverse happened’, the former Suits star railed, ‘A few days before the wedding she was upset about something, pertaining to, yes, the issue was correct, about flower-girl dresses, and it made me cry, and it really hurt my feelings.’

She then went on to criticise the palace for failing to correct the story – suggesting that royal aides had hung her out to dry to protect the Duchess of Cambridge.

All of which left me in a bit of a sticky situation. As I told Phillip Schofield on This Morning the following day, ‘I don’t write things I don’t believe to be true and that haven’t been really well sourced.’

Having seemingly been completely bowled over by Meghan’s version of events, Schofe then went for the jugular: ‘I have to say, though, that’s all addressed in that interview, isn’t it, because she [Meghan] couldn’t understand why nobody stood up for her?’

Yet someone had stood up for her, on that very same This Morning sofa: me.

As I told Phil and Holly on 14 January 2019, as more reports of ‘Duchess Difficult’ started to emerge, ‘I think she [Meghan] is doing really well, she looks amazing, she speaks well. She has played a blinder.’

So you’ll forgive me if I can’t quite understand why Meghan didn’t feel the need to correct this supposedly glaring error once she had her own dedicated head of communications from March 2019 – or indeed when she ‘collaborated’ with Scobie, who concluded in his bestselling hagiography that ‘no one cried’?

Moreover, how did the Duchess know a postnatal Kate wasn’t ‘left in tears’? And if she doesn’t know, what hope has the average troll observing events through the prism of their own deep-rooted insecurities?

It appears the actual truth ceases to matter once sides have been taken in the unedifying Team Meghan versus Team Kate battle that has divided the internet.

Make no mistake, there are abject morons at both extremes spewing the sort of bile that, ironically, makes most of the media coverage of Harry and Meghan look like a 1970s edition of Jackie magazine.

It perhaps didn’t help my case that the day before the interview was aired in the US, I had written a lengthy piece carefully weighing up the evidence behind allegations of ‘outrageous bullying’ that had been levelled against Meghan during what proved to be a miserable 20 months in the Royal family for all concerned.

The messages – to my Twitter feed, my email, my website and official Facebook page – ranged from the threatening, to the typical tropes about media ‘scum’ and the downright bizarre. Some accused me of being in cahoots with Carole Middleton, with whom I have never interacted, unless you count a last-minute Party Pieces purchase in a desperate moment of poor parental planning.

Another frequent barb was questioning why the press wasn’t writing about that ‘pedo’ [sic] Prince Andrew instead – seemingly oblivious to the fact that no one would know about the Duke of York’s links to Jeffrey Epstein if it wasn’t for the acres of coverage devoted to the story by us royal hacks over recent years.

It didn’t matter that I had repeatedly torn the Queen’s second, and, some say, favourite son to pieces for everything from his propensity to take his golf clubs on foreign tours to that disastrous Newsnight interview.

Contrary to the ‘invisible contract’ Harry claims the palace has with the press, royal coverage works roughly like this: good royal deeds = good publicity. Bad royal deeds = bad publicity. We effectively act as a critical friend, working on behalf of a public that rightly expects the royals to take the work – but not themselves – seriously.

So when a royal couple preaches about climate change before taking four private jets in 11 days, it is par for the course for a royal scribe to point out the inconsistency of that message. None of it is ever personal, as evidenced by the fact that practically every member of the monarchy has come in for flak over the years.

If Oprah wasn’t willing to point out the discrepancies in Harry and Meghan’s testimony, surely it is beholden on royal reporters to question how the Duchess had managed to undertake four foreign holidays in the six months after her wedding, in addition to official tours to Italy, Canada, and Amsterdam, as well as embarking on a lengthy honeymoon, if she had ‘turned over’ her passport?

While no one would wish to undermine the extent of her mental health problems, could it really be true that she only left the house twice in four months when she managed to cram in 73 days’ worth of engagements, according to the Court Circular, in the 17 months between her wedding and the couple’s departure to Canada?

And what of the ‘racist’ headlines flashed up during the interview purporting to be from the British press, when more than a third were actually taken from independent blogs and the foreign media? The UK media abides by the Independent Press Standards Organisation’s Code of Conduct ‘to avoid prejudicial or pejorative reference to an individual’s race’, as well as by rigorous defamation laws. And rightly so – the British press doesn’t always get it right. But social media is the Wild West by comparison, publishing vile slurs on a daily basis with impunity.

Some therefore find it strange that such a litigious couple would claim to have been ‘silenced’ when they have made so many complaints, including resorting to legal action, over stories they claim not to have even read. There is something similarly contradictory about a couple accusing the tabloids of lacking self-reflection while refusing to take any blame at all – for anything.

In any normal world, informed writing on such matters would be classed as fair comment, but not, seemingly, on Twitter where those completely lacking any objectivity whatsoever are only too willing to virtue signal and manoeuvre.

As the trolling reached fever pitch in the aftermath of the interview, veteran royal reporter Robert Jobson of the Evening Standard called me. ‘Don’t respond to these freaks,’ he advised. ‘It’s getting nasty out there. Watch your back!’

Yet despite my general sense of bewilderment at the menacing Megbots, I can’t say it didn’t appal me to discover a close friend had received online abuse, purely by dint of being my mate. After discussing the lengths the troll must have gone to to track her down, she asked me, ‘Do you ever worry someone might do something awful to you?’ Er, not until now, no.

Of course it’s upsetting, even for a cynical old-timer like me. Worse still are people who actually know me casting aspersions on my profession on social media. Often these are the same charlatans who would think nothing of sidling up to me for the latest gossip on the Royal family, while publicly pretending that reading any such coverage is completely beneath them.

Most pernicious of all though – not least after Piers Morgan’s departure from Good Morning Britain following a complaint to ITV and Ofcom from the Duchess – is the corrosive effect this whole hullabaloo is having on freedom of speech. When you’ve got a former actor effectively editing a British breakfast show from an £11 million Montecito mansion, what next?

I cannot help but think we are in danger of setting race relations back 30 years if people are seriously suggesting that any criticism of Meghan is racially motivated. It’s the hypocrisy that gets me. When Priti Patel was accused of bullying, the very same people who willingly hung the Home Secretary out to dry are now the ones defending Meghan against such claims, saying they have been levelled at her simply because she is ‘a strong woman of colour’.

Of course journalists should take responsibility for everything they report and be held to account for it – but Harry and Meghan do not have a monopoly on the truth simply because the close friend and neighbour who interviewed them in return for £7 million from CBS took what they said as gospel.

If she isn’t willing to probe the disparity between Meghan saying someone questioned the colour of Archie’s skin when she was pregnant, and Harry suggesting it happened before they were even married, then someone must. There’s a name for such scrutiny. It’s called journalism.

The public reserves the right to make up its own mind – with the help of the watchful eye of a free and fair press. But that press can never be free or fair if journalists do not feel they can report without fear or favour. I’m lucky that a lot of the criticism I face is more than balanced out by hugely supportive members of the public and online community who either agree – or respect the right to disagree. Along with the hate mail, I have had many thoughtful and eloquent missives, including those that good naturedly challenge what I have written in the paper or said on TV, which have genuinely given me pause for thought.

I am more than happy to enter into constructive discourse with these correspondents, who are frankly sometimes the only people who keep me on Twitter. I mean, let’s face it, I wouldn’t be anywhere near the bloody thing if this wasn’t my day job.

With the National Union of Journalists this month declaring that harassment and abuse had ‘become normalised’ within the industry, never have members of Britain’s press needed more courage. As Winston Churchill famously said, ‘You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.’

Who would have thought that the preservation of the fundamental freedoms that we hold so dear should partially rest on the shoulders of those who follow around a 94-year-old woman and her family for a living?

If I’d known then what I know now, would I still have written the bridesmaid’s dress story?

Yes – doubtlessly reflecting sisterly sobs all round. But after two decades in this business, I am clear-eyed enough to know this for certain: whatever I had written, it would still have ended in tears.

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deadendtracks · 4 years ago

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peaky blinders beta reading

just want to put out there that i am willing to be a beta-reader for peaky blinders fic, though i am only available for canon-centric stuff.

so: no readerfic or OC-ship fic and limited to AUs that use canon as a jumping off point (no modern AUs, no fairy tale or sci-fi AUs, etc). those just aren't my strong point so I wouldn't be a help.

I'll also ask a little about the content and length and expectations about deadlines before I commit. It'll really depend on how much time I have so please don't take it as a reflection on you personally if I can't take a given fic on!

I usually ask people what they want to get out of it -- so I'm willing to do just a spelling/grammar/canon facts type check, or more detailed work on characterization and writing mechanics and style. I tend to be better at finished projects than breaking stories but if you're halfway into a fic and have reached a jam I might be able to help.

i'm super interested in helping new writers, or writers who want a check on their English, though I am American so bound to miss British English specifics.

if you're a new writer or just nervous and want a new pair of eyes on something before you post, give me a shout!

#peaky blinders #feel free to reblog

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imagineofallkindsxxx · 4 years ago

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Eternal Flame- Kol Mikaelson 7/?

A Hundred Dead Witches!?!

Summary: 'You never know whats in a persons heart until you truly know them' - Belle French, Once Upon a Time

Singing. Thats all what Alexandra Gilbert has cared about since she was young and all she would care about until she met him.

With Alexandra fighting vampires, werewolves and all between she may do a thing she vowed never to do, fall in love.

And to think it all started with a walk in the woods...

Tonight was the night of Illuminations, a town tradition that has been going on for centuries so a group of us had volunteered to help or in my case forced to. While hanging lanterns from the trees Carol Lockwood decided to make a speech to the volunteers deciding to thank the people actually doing the work instead of sitting around making speeches along with introducing Tobias Fell.

"Remind me why we're here again?" I whispered to Mark but before he could answer Sam butted in.

"It's my uncle Tobys night, my mom's forcing me to volunteer and I'm sure as hell not doing it on my own." Making me roll my eyes at the bassist.

"Yo, what'd I miss" James said coming behind us making me jump out of my skin giving him a push.

"Nothing the speech is about to begin." Sam informed him.

"The first illumination..." He started, going on about history of the town and the founders.

"I'm gonna dip. Finish my lantern" I whispered to James making him look at me incredulously. I just looked at him and blew a kiss at the drummer before a quietly and as slyly as possible trying to escape the wrath of Sam Fell who although may look skinny and weak can destroy you.

When it looked like I was in the clear for now I walked up to Caroline and Bonnie who were tying lanterns to a branch.

"-comment on that."

"Comment on what?"

"There. You Commented"

"I'm confused, what are you commenting?" Asking the duo confused at what is going on and what is being commented.

"What do you want me to say Caroline?" She asked clearly distressed before finally addressing me "I went against the balance of nature when I brought Jeremy back to life and now, I'm paying the consequences. Whenever he wants to see Anna and she wants to see him, she's still here". Jesus this is fucked up.

"Bon..." I started looking at her sympathetically before Caroline butts in

"I want you to tell me you're not okay with it."

"I'm a thousand times not okay with it. I just don't know what to do about it" she said looking deflated at the entire situation making me throw my arm around her shoulders in comfort.

"You, Bonnie Bennett are the most powerful, smartest and amazing witch. You'll figure out, trust me. You're Bonnie Bennett for Christ sake!" She smiled at me giving a small laugh before a blue Camaro comes out of nowhere pulling up with a raven haired vampire driving.

"Greetings, blondie, witchy, brainy. I think you got your voodoo wires all crossed when you got rid of Vicki Donovan." She tells us with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Vicki Donovan?" I questioned confused to how a dead vampire was being brought into this conversation,

"What do you mean, why?" Bonnie questioned the annoyed/annoying vampire in front of her.

"Because I'm pretty sure I just got spit-roasted by Mason Lockwood's ghost." He explained. What the hell did Damon do to that poor and attractive werewolf?

"What?" Bonnie asked very confused.

"And why exactly do you think that?" I asked wondering how Mason Lockwood was the first person he thought of.

"Maybe because he chained me to a chair and shoved a hot poker into my chest. let's say I'm having deja vu." With this being told me and Caroline both look at Bonnie who looks very confused and conflicted.

"I thought you said ghosts couldn't interact with people." Caroline said talking straight to Bonnie thinking how it can't be possible that Bonnie may have been wrong.

"They can't"

"Yeah well, I don't have time for a vengeful Lockwood. When I kill someone, they're supposed to stay dead. Whatever you screwed up fix it." He ranted towards the witch after that he drove away extremely quickly and most likely above the speed limit.

Across the road was Matt watching the interaction of the four of us. I was the first to cross the street to talk to the quarterback with Caroline and Bonnie following closely behind. I asked him quickly if he had seen Vicki.

"I haven't seen Vicki, I swear" He told us all before looking down upset about having to go through the loss of his sister a second time "I sent her back like you told me to do."

"Are you sure?" Bonnie asked making sure that Matt actually did get rid of Vicki "Because she has just as much reason to haunt Damon as Mason Lockwood does."

"90% of the people who have been killed in the past two years has as much reason to haunt Damon as much as Mason Lockwood." I added making Caroline nod in agreement.

"She's gone Bonnie. If she was here, I'd know it" I gave him a small sympathetic smile it clear that he was severely upset about this whole ordeal.

"Why do you think its Vicki and not Mason?" Caroline asked the witch.

"Because if any ghost other than Vicki Donovan has a physical foothold on our side, that means Damon's right." Words I never thought I'd hear "and something has gone really, really wrong." Bonnie states looking extremely worried about this situation and what would happen if all the ghosts from our past come to literally haunt us.

"I've had enough of this ghost stuff to last forever. So can you guys can leave me out of this one" Matt tells the three of us, I nodded understanding that if that happened to me, I wouldn't be able to get out of bed forget going to work. He walks away from us, and you can hear Caroline talking.

"I feel so sad for him. It took a lot for him to send his sister away."

"Yeah" Bonnie replied shortly.

"I highly doubt I could do that, if I got to saw my mom or dad again... I don't know if I would be able to let them go." I stated feeling so much sympathy for the blue-eyed boy. "It took a lot of guts anyway." This made the other girls nod.

"So much strength in a man." Caroline continued looking at both of us.

"Caroline it's never going to happen, get over it." Rolling my eyes at her Insinuating that Matt would be a perfectly good boyfriend as she's done for the part two months.

"I've got a ghost problem to deal with, Caroline. Save the Jeremy lecture for later" She snapped while grabbing her bag all of her stuff falling out when the strap broke. I bent down and helped her pick up her things and just as she was going to put her grimoire up it opens itself to a page in the center of the book.

"Did that just..." I asked the witch and vampire not believing my eyes.

"I think so." Bonnie said cocking her head to the side while picking up the book reading the page that the book opened itself to.

"Okay please tell me that's a recipe for witch cookies" Caroline half joked half serious about the page Bonnie was currently reading.

"It's a manifestation spell. It's used to reveal veiled matter." Bonnie told us the meaning of the grimoires spell.

"What's veiled matter?" Caroline asked and before Bonnie answered I said in shock.

"Ghosts." looking at them all.

"What do we do? Do we do the spell? What is the spell exactly?" I questioned Bonnie repeatedly wanting the ghosts to be a thing in the past and look into the future.

"I think we need to go somewhere more private."

***

Caroline pulled her car up to an abandoned creepy looking house. the three of us enter the front room me and Caroline a little bit more apprehensively than Bonnie.

"So, this is where you brought Jeremy back to life?" I asked Bonnie looking around the room severely creeped out, the interior being as bad as the exterior.

"Yeah. Sorry, I know it's creepy, but we needed a private place to do the spell." Bonnie apologized getting ready to do the spell.

"Hmmm. There's no chance it's haunted by the hundred dead witches who were horrifically burned to death in this very spot, is there?" Caroline question clearly scared, and that question alone made me just as scared.

"A hundred dead witches?!"

"They're not here anymore. And they made it clear they were never coming back." she reassured us both trying to calm our nerves or well attempted to.

"Right. You pinkie swear?" Caroline asks trying to make a joke in the tense environment. Making me give her a look. I got the candles out and gave Caroline a lighter so she can help light the candles with me for Bonnie to start the spell.

"Ready do you need us to do..." I started turning around to see Bonnie already starting to start the spell "Right. Okay" I looked at Caroline while Bonnie was continuing to do the spell getting louder every chant a breeze beginning to surround us getting stronger and stronger by the second making everything in the room moves. Seeing all of this makes my eyes widen and start to worry about Bonnie and how safe this is for her.

"Bonnie, I don't like this. Bonnie..." Caroline voices my thoughts while also looking around that was until we saw something shocking.

"Oh my God, is that your...?" I started but couldn't finish due to the pure shock of what I as seeing. All three of us shocked Bonnie can't say anything, it even leaves Caroline speechless. The silence was broke with Bonnie saying quietly.

"Grams."

*************************************************

A/N:

Small chapter but next is quite long an different than others as a special character will be appearing. Hope you enjoyed, Part two will include more of the boys (a slight twist).

Please correct any grammar, spelling or British slang.

Any positive or negative feedback is appreciated.

Thanks for reading lovelies xxx

#kol mikaelson imagine #kol mikaelson x you #kol mikaelson x reader #kol mikaelson #the originals #the vampire diaries #the originals imagine #the vampire diaries imagines #kol mikaelson series

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lifeinahole27 · 5 years ago

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CS ff: “Walking the Tightrope” (Chapter 1/10) (au)

Summary: Killian's daily routines are a matter of habit. When he wakes up late one morning, his routines all change for the better. Emma doesn't care about routines, but she does care about Killian, no matter how reluctant she is to admit it to herself.

Rating: E (much later in the story)

Content Warnings: There will be a part where pictures are posted without permission. It happens much later in the fic but if that’s not your thing, I want to put it out there now. And, of course, sexual content will be present. I will update these warnings for each chapter to pinpoint those sections!

A Special Thank You: Oh man, how do I put my gratitude into words? There are two constants in my CS fic writing life that I am so incredibly lucky to have. Thank you @captainstudmuffin for just downright prodding me in the ass to keep me moving when I wanted to give up. You were always there in the right capacity to keep me going. You did that reverse psychology thing with me that I always do to you with “Well, if you want to give up, that’s your choice...” and it worked. And then there’s @phiralovesloki who has listened to me self-depreciate for hours on end and still keeps me moving forward. And then you both turned your attentions to helping me get this thing edited and proofread. You handled all my tantrums, all my fits, all my problems. I love you both to the moon and back.

And of course, thank you to the @captainswanbigbang for going with this rewrite idea. All of you modding this and putting shit in line and answering questions and being awesome and informative and helpful... my eternal gratitude for helping get this, my possible magnum opus, finished and out to the fandom. Much love to you all!

A/N: I wrote a lot of notes above here to start. Because of that, I’ll keep this line brief. Enjoy!

Find it on Ao3 & FFN!

-x-

Chapter 1: The Art of Routines

September 30: Monday

Every day, Killian Jones walks from his respectable dwelling by the Storybrooke Harbor to where he works, located right off the main drag. Storybrooke is nearly the definition of small-town America, but it houses a quaint-sized office of a British publishing firm that opened a branch over here last year. Three months ago, Killian took a chance to upend his whole life and applied for a junior editing position.

From a life in the Navy to a redirection of passions towards the fine art of literature, Killian has used a rigorous set of routines to get through every major upheaval in his life, including but not limited to the aforementioned relocation from London to a small speck on the map.

He uses his daily habits from the moment his alarm sounds in the morning until he shuts his eyes at night – operating his life in a tidy way and controlling what he can control while doing his best to accept whatever tries to throw him off.

Because of his method to build up his regimens, he knows that anything that lasts beyond two weeks becomes more likely to stick.

And for six weeks, Emma Swan has been part of his routines. Monday through Friday they cross the street together. They never speak. Sometimes they’ll smile and nod in greeting, but it’s enough in Killian’s book. Or at least, they’ve come to some unspoken agreement that it’s enough. Since the middle of August, this has been his norm, and thus it is now just another thing that marks time throughout his days.

The only reason he knows her name is because of the star-shaped badge she wears on her hip. That and being the sister of the sheriff are dead-giveaways to an identity. He’d heard of Emma long before he saw her as Will Scarlet filled him in on the townies. She, on the other hand, probably doesn’t even know his name. But he’s okay with that. He’s not out to meet the love of his life – not after what he went through with his last major relationship – but to enjoy a walk across the street with an ease he doesn’t understand and doesn’t have to.

Day after day, he continues on, never looking back to see if she’s still looking at him. He’s afraid of what he might find if he does: either she’s also glancing back and this immediately becomes something different, or she isn’t and he’s effectively found himself with some kind of rejection complex. Both ideas are ridiculous. At the mere thought, Killian snorts and picks up his pace.

On October 1st, Killian discovers how easy it is to throw off the delicate balance of a routine as strong as his. The alarm never goes off, or if it does, Killian either doesn’t hear it or turns it off in his sleep. He wakes, instead, to the sound of his text messages going off in quick succession, followed by the phone ringing and Will’s chirpy voice alerting him as he answers that he’s going to be late.

With that, his eyes shoot fully open and he throws himself into action, hoping to get out the door in record time. He skips the coffee and the shower, throwing on the clothes he set out last night and hoping his hair stays in place with the water he combs through it. He’s out the door fifteen minutes late. His boss, Robin, will hopefully understand - he’s one of the most easy-going people Killian has ever met. Will is going to take the piss out of him, but that’s no different from any other day. Killian knew it was a mistake to share his location with his friend but in this case, with Will able to see that he was still at home when he should already be making his journey, he wasn’t going to complain about it.

Instead, what he’s most upset about is that he’s going to miss Deputy Swan standing at their corner.

And he’s right: she’s not there when he gets to the intersection. He pushes the button and diligently waits until it turns before crossing, just as he always does. It’s when he gets a full view of the patio in front of Granny’s that his steps suddenly halt. There she is, checking her phone and sipping from a to-go cup, standing at the table closest to the entrance. She glances up and sees him on the other side of the small fence that surrounds the front of the patio, and her eyes go wide.

Quickly, she jams her phone in her pocket and exits the patio with two cups in hand, heading towards the sheriff’s station and away from him until she stops just as suddenly. She turns around to where he’s still glued in spot, knowing that each extra minute is asking for more torture from Will, but she walks up to him and he wouldn’t move if a bus came careening down the sidewalk at him.

“Hi. This might be weird but… nevermind. Forget it.” She turns again, but Killian hastens after her.

“What seems to be the problem, love?”

She spins around to face him again, a perturbed look on her face. He doesn’t know if it’s at him or herself, though, so he waits for her response.

“I’m not…” The words trail off, but she redirects. “I thought you might need coffee. You’re always so punctual. Figured if you were running late, you didn’t have any. But that’s probably ridiculous and just…” she trails off again, turning to dump the to-go cup into the bin nearby but Killian lunges for it.

“No no, wait!” He catches the cup just before it leaves her grip, smiling wide when he successfully rescues it. “Thank you, Deputy. I appreciate it.”

“Swan. Emma Swan.”

“Oh, I know,” he responds, surprised at the devilish tone to the words. The only time he flirts anymore is when he’s two pints in at The Rabbit Hole on a rare night out with Will, and even then it’s with no intent behind it. His watch buzzes and Killian glances down to see Will is calling him again. When he sees the time, he can understand why. “Bloody hell. I’m incredibly late,” he says quickly, moving to continue his journey to the office and forgetting all his manners.

“Is there something else I can call you, Incredibly Late?”

“Killian Jones!” he calls out as he gets to the corner by the post office. He spins on his heels to turn back to her, lifting the coffee again in thanks.

There’s an odd little smile on her face when he says it, but he’s still moving and has no time to wonder what it’s all about. “See you tomorrow, Jones!”

Her words follow him around the corner and he grins as he picks up the pace to the office.

He’s amazed at how quickly his day turns around after officially meeting Emma Swan. Robin isn’t even mad when he shows up late, just happy that he’s finally sitting in front of his computer working on the endless edits he’s been helping with for a new book by an established writer. One that has terrible punctuation skills, apparently. And spelling. And grammar.

It’s barely been a half hour when he finds his thoughts drifting to the woman he only knows by name and reputation, and knows that somehow, his daily routines will never look quite the same. He wonders how much this little interaction means to her, too, if she looked so out of sorts when he was late today. And startlingly, he realizes that it did turn into something.

Running a hand over his face, Killian looks back at the page he’s supposed to be proofreading. He’s read the same sentence at least three times and still can’t figure out why it doesn’t feel right. It’s too early in the day to shut his office door and start reading everything out loud, however, so instead he saves his changes and closes the file, opening up a rain app on his phone and letting the sound soothe him while he stands up and stretches.

“If you’re playing the calming sounds, I feel like you’re ready for more coffee,” Will says from his doorway.

“You’re probably right,” Killian says, finishing his current stretch and turning off the app. “Shall we?”

“Ask Robin what he wants. Your treat since you were so late this morning,” his friend adds as he turns from the doorway.

Killian makes a noise of aggravation, but still walks the short length to Robin’s office to inquire.

Robin is locked in his own work, looking back and forth between three cover mockups that Will’s department would’ve sent over when they were ready. He glances up when Killian enters but only barely. “Coffee run?” the other man asks as he nudges each design around.

This, too, is like clockwork in his life, which is why Robin already knows why he’s standing in his doorway. “Aye. Would you like me to bring back the usual or will you need something stronger today?”

“The usual is fine. Else I’ll be tempted to add liquor to it and no one at the home office will appreciate what I think of their last company email.”

“I have that whole rant recorded. You’d better make sure I don’t have anything stronger today or else they’ll get it verbatim.”

“Remind me to have you killed later this week after that chapter is edited.”

“I’ll pass it on to your secretary to be added to your calendar,” Killian mentions offhandedly while he leaves Robin’s office. This isn’t the first time Robin has scheduled to kill him for information he has on his superior. Killian’s sure it won’t be the last, either.

As he leaves, Killian catches sight of the pictures on the wall. There’s a few scattered around his office, mostly of Robin’s adorable son Roland and his late wife. Marian passed just after Roland was born, making Robin’s decision to head up the American branch of NeverEndings Publishing House an easy one. The reason he’s stayed so long is also evident in the pictures of Regina Mills, the mayor of Storybrooke, scattered among the others. Regina was his “diamond in the rough” - the woman he never expected to meet and fall in love with shortly after he set up shop here.

Along with pictures, there are paintings and his degrees, an antique wall clock that matches everything else, and a vintage bow and arrow hung behind the mahogany desk he nearly lives in some days. The whole thing feels like the den of some expensive cabin in the woods, but Killian knows for a fact that Robin put most of this together on the cheap.

He passes his own little office again, noting the blank walls, the tidy desk, the single chair on the opposite side for small one-on-one meetings. He’s never really gotten around to decorating his work area. His degrees are still in one of the boxes in his flat, as are all the pictures of his friends and family from back home.

There’s a single frame on his desk - just a picture of him and Liam at graduation that was packed into his luggage when he moved. Liam is beaming with pride while Killian looks like he’s about to bolt from the courtyard they had all gathered in after the ceremony. His left arm is tucked close by his side, and he knows for a fact it’s because he was trying to hide the prosthetic hook he wears from being in the pictures.

“So, why were you late today?” Will asks when they reach the doors and head outside.

“Alarm malfunctions,” Killian responds, as if there could be something besides human error to blame. Will just nods as they make the short trek down the street to Granny’s. Foolishly, Killian hopes to find his favorite deputy out patrolling or stopping for her own midday caffeine, but the only blonde in the diner is Ashley, the attentive but clumsy young server.

Well, the only blonde woman. Dr. Whale, trying his best to flirt with Ruby, doesn’t count.

“Have you heard anything I’ve said in the last three minutes?” Will asks, a touch of exasperation in his voice but humor lighting up his eyes. Instead of answering, Killian just pushes him forward to place his order. He pulls Killian up next to him and presents him to Ruby. “Tell Jones here that he has to come out with us on Friday.”

“The only thing I have to tell Jones is to place his damn order,” Ruby responds, her expression challenging Will in the way that only Ruby can. She looks back to Killian with a sweet smile. “You paying for all three?” He nods as he hands over the cash. Ruby winks at him, processing the change and handing it back before spinning from the register to make their drinks.

“Come on, mate. Come out this Friday.”

“I still have things I’m trying to unpack.”

“You’ve been saying you were going to unpack those things for the last three months.” He throws air quotes when he says “things” as if they’re fictitious items Killian invented for the sake of an excuse. He almost invites Will over to see what he’s talking about but feels like that would somehow turn into a standing invitation for his colleague to come over whenever he pleases.

“Yeah? And now I might mean it,” Killian retorts instead. Ruby places their drinks down on the counter before Will can press any further, and Killian spends an extra moment thanking the younger Lucas for exceptional service, as always.

“Kiss ass,” Ruby says as they gather their drinks and leave. There’s a smile on her face, though, and Killian knows that her days would be infinitely less exciting without him and Will pestering her at least once an afternoon.

When they get back, Will takes Robin his coffee without having to be asked, which Killian is grateful for. But he’s barely seated in front of his computer again before Will is popping back up in his doorway.

“You’ve been summoned to the dungeons, mate.”

Killian drops his head for a second, trying to gather the energy to just… get up and go see if suddenly his benevolent boss has had a change in heart regarding his tardiness this morning. But Robin just waves him in and motions for him to sit down.

“As you know, we originally hired you to be a junior editor to collaborate on projects.”

“Aye, that was the explanation I was given when I interviewed.”

“Well, we’ve gotten a new project that I’d like to see you take on. This isn’t quite a promotion, but it’s a test to see if I can trust you with something bigger than just standard edits to a pompous arse that doesn’t know his p’s from his q’s… literally.”

“I’m definitely interested. What is this project?”

“A young author has written a novella that twists fairy tales. It’s short but it’s deep, and I want your best on proofreading, but also on suggesting edits. He’ll be in to discuss the project at the end of this month, so keep working on your current progress until then. I’ll send all the files your way this weekend so you can start reviewing them whenever you’d like. Sound good?”

“Sounds excellent,” Killian says, genuine enthusiasm coloring his answer. “I look forward to it.”

Another disruption to the orderly life he’s been living, but honestly, this is almost as good as meeting Emma Swan. At least this feels like his disastrous start to October is no indication on how the rest of the month will go.

-x- October 2: Wednesday

The next morning, Killian is back to his impeccable schedule, so he’s calm and collected when he strolls up to the crosswalk. Only minutes later, Emma walks up, eyes trained on her phone, earbuds playing music that she nods her head in time with. He takes a moment before she notices him to appreciate the view, to take in the dark jeans she likes to wear instead of a uniform, with black boots up to her knees. Her red leather jacket is half-zipped. Soon the weather is going to grow colder and he wonders if she’ll be warm enough on her walks.

She looks up, then, and smiles at Killian while he raises a hand in greeting. She hesitantly waves back, moving to stand next to him while they wait.

“Good morning, Swan,” he greets just as the light changes and they start to cross. Her response is mumbled as she pulls the earbud from one ear.

“Have a good day, Jones,” she says, dipping her head as a parting gesture. There’s a smile pulling at his cheeks, and he turns to look at where he’s going instead of risking the possibility of running into something and ruining his mood.

For the rest of the week, they get to the crosswalk and he greets her. They part ways at the diner with her sending salutations before she walks up the path. In a way, it becomes a new routine for them. It’s one of the only changes to his days that he’s accepted as a normal progression instead of an uninvited intrusion.

On Friday, hours after his daily dose of Emma, he’s in the middle of the last chapter he has to edit when Will pops into his doorway in the afternoon. He goes to save the files and start the coffee routine, but Will enters the room fully and places two coffees and a bag with lunch on the corner of his desk.

“I hear you’ve got a bigger project coming up. Figured I’d be a good mate for once and encourage hard work instead of mucking around like we usually do on Fridays.”

The times that Will has been genuinely kind to him are definitely countable on his hand, so he’s almost afraid to ask if there’s a “but” included somewhere in there. However, Will just gives him a cheeky grin and heads right back out the door.

When he’s made the final change and checked over the whole chapter again, it’s beyond the time that he normally leaves, even when he stays late. His eyes are burning and his stomach is growling again, but there’s a sense of victory when he sends the files back to Robin and shuts down his office for the weekend.

He’s surprised to find Will on the couch in the reception area, asleep by the looks of it, and Killian is this tempted to leave him there because he knows exactly why his friend is still there. But the man brought him lunch and still owes him a beer for repayment of some good deed or another, so he knocks into one of Will’s shoes and snorts as he startles awake.

“Come on, then. Sorry to have kept you waiting.”

“Damn right, you are.” Will’s response is groggy and expected.

Killian makes sure the building is locked up tight before they walk the few blocks over to The Rabbit Hole. He’d rather be in bed, or watching whatever his neglected Netflix queue has in store for him. While Will obviously went home and changed into something more casual, Killian is still stuck in his suit from work. It’ll have to do.

One drink, that’s all he’s promised, and then he’s going home to get the sleep he deserves and return to his normal order of events.

They’re barely through the door when he realizes his plan is going straight into the bin. There, in all her blonde glory, is Emma Swan. She’s parked near the end of the bar waiting for Jefferson to take her order. As he moves towards her, he hears Will greeting other acquaintances, but he’s too focused on getting to interact with Emma outside of their usual crosswalk that he doesn’t veer off course.

“Fancy meeting you here, Swan,” he greets as he props up next to her.

She jumps a little, clearly not expecting him to be there beside her, but regains her speech far easier than he would’ve if the situation were reversed.

“I’m sorry, you’re that figment of my imagination that only lives on Main Street. What are you doing here?”

He chuckles at her description of him and rubs behind his ear in a nervous gesture. Two more sentences and this will officially be the longest he’s ever spoken with Emma, and he’s enjoying it far more than he should.

“Out for a drink with my mate Will to celebrate a project ending.”

“Scarlet? See, I always thought you had better taste than that,” she says, a smirk on her face and her eyes shifting over Killian’s shoulder to where Will must’ve come up behind him.

“Oy, just because I’m romancing your friend doesn’t mean you have to insult me.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what it means,” Emma responds to him, but there’s lightness and sarcasm in the whole exchange.

“Romancing? You mean you finally worked up the nerve to tell Belle you fancy her?”

“Like three weeks ago, mate. This is why I tell you to come out more often.” Will claps Killian on the shoulder with those words, accepting the beer that Jefferson deposits on the bar for him, and walking back to the large gathering of people in the middle of the room that Killian is just realizing are mostly people he knows.

“Not one for socializing very often?” Emma asks, following his line of sight and waving to her brother at the table. Killian swallows a little harder when David sizes him up, eyes scrutinizing the whole time.

“Not as much as I used to. Will and I usually make our ventures out earlier in the evening and in the middle of the week when we do.”

“So is it the expat club or something? You and Will, Robin, Belle. I think Tink stops in and drinks with them every couple weeks or so, too.”

“Will and I work at NeverEndings with Robin. The rest is all just coincidence.”

She hums in consideration, sipping slowly from her drink. “There’s room at the table. Wanna come join us, too?”

“That depends.”

“On?”

“Is your brother going to murder me for speaking to you for longer than three and a half minutes?”

She glances back at David, who turns back to the group suddenly, clearly pretending he wasn’t watching them.

“Listen, he’s overprotective but he’s yet to kill anyone I had a conversation with. People I’ve dated, on the other hand…” she trails off, lifting her eyebrows to emphasize with a little shrug.

He can’t help the laughter that erupts from him at that. She’s delightful. He could spend all his days having frivolous conversations with her and probably never grow tired of it.

“Come on, I promise he doesn’t bite unless you ask. Which is unfortunately more than I ever wanted to know but that’s what happens when you become best friends with your brother’s wife.”

“Thanks for sharing your pain with me. I hope it eases the burden of your knowledge,” he says low enough so only she can hear as he pulls out one of the remaining chairs for her. Her thank you is a quiet and pleased murmur, and he has to remind his heart to stop the constant drumroll so he can get through this evening with his dignity intact. He drops into the seat next to Emma and tries to bury the way his skin itches at the sudden change in his routine.

A chorus of introductions goes around, with Emma giving names to random faces as she goes. He does know a majority of the people at the table, even if just by reputation. It’s nice to meet the kind schoolteacher that is David’s aforementioned wife, though he’s seen her in the library more than a handful of times since his arrival in town.

“Everyone calls me Snow,” she explains after Emma calls her Mary Margaret. “Less syllables, more Disney Princess-ish.” When the topic shifts from greetings to the usual breakdown of everyone’s days, Killian seizes the moment no one is paying attention to them.

“A Disney Princess that enjoys a little kink in the bedroom. Good to know,” Killian whispers in Emma’s ear, and her hushed laughter is music he wants to play again and again.

When the conversation really starts flowing, he finds he’s less interested in drinking away his week and happier to engage with the people around the table. David still regards him with suspicion, but it probably helps that he doesn’t look like he’s trying to crawl into Emma’s knickers as the night continues on. He finished his singular beer ages ago but opts for water during his next trip up to the bar, along with food because Emma bursts out laughing when his stomach growls in the middle of her talking about a digital filing system they’re implementing.

Emma nurses her one drink, and so he’s relieved to find her willingness to talk is due to genuine interest instead of alcohol’s influence. Of course, it may be because he’s supplying her in onion rings until she finally orders her own.

Their group slowly begins to break up, starting with the people who have someone home waiting on them. Then the couples start to leave, and Killian is pleasantly surprised when Emma all but shoves David out the door with Snow, insisting that she’s more than capable of taking care of herself.

They talk of all things small: she tells him about working law enforcement in a small town, and he shares his experiences in Storybrooke since moving. She asks about his job and actually listens when he starts talking.

“What’s this then?” Killian asks when Emma pushes up her sleeves.

She looks down at it, scoffing a little. “A dumb symbol of youth and rebellion,” she replies. “I got it when I was sixteen because James and I got in an argument about how perfectly behaved I was.”

“James?”

“Oh, David has a twin brother. You know how people joke about having an evil twin? David actually has one.”

“Your family is delightful,” he comments, wanting to reach out and touch the heavy lines of the flower on her wrist. “Why this?”

“Buttercups are my favorite flower.” He’s learned so many new things about her so very quickly, but he files this information away in the event he has a chance to use it.

It’s when their whole group has officially departed that they realize the rest of the establishment is similarly abandoned, with only Jefferson wiping down bottles behind the bar.

“Sorry about that, mate. Time for us to clear out?”

“I was gonna wait until I was done cleaning to see if you even noticed the place was empty,” Jefferson responds when Killian sets the last few glasses on the counter. Emma is behind him at the table still, gathering the smattering of bottles and the rest of the stuff to be washed. “Been a while since I’ve seen her talk that much to anyone she didn’t grow up with,” the other man remarks, nodding his head towards Emma.

“My favorite bartender back home would probably say the same of me,” Killian admits, placing a few extra bills on the bar as a tip and wandering back over to help Emma get the last of the dishes from his late dinner and her ridiculously large pile of onion rings, of which she ate every last one.

“Thanks Jeff. Have a safe trip home,” Emma tells him as she hands him the items.

As they start walking, he expects anything but for Emma to fall back into casual conversation with him about the moving process he went through. He takes it in stride as they slowly amble down the street and back to their crosswalk.

“I’m this way,” Emma says, indicating the direction she normally arrives from in the mornings.

“I know,” Killian responds, his tone soft and content. “It was lovely getting to meet you, Emma.”

He holds out his hand, giving hers a firm shake. Once upon a time he was a lad who could court a woman without blinking an eye. It’s that thought that has him turning her hand and bringing it to his lips, eyeing her playfully from beneath his lashes as he looks up at her. This small gesture feels so foreign, but he likes the way she’s giving him a puzzled little smile.

“Goodnight, Swan.”

“See you Monday, Jones,” she almost whispers as he releases her hand.

They head off in their separate directions, with Killian gently brushing his lips in wonder.

Routines be damned, this is much better than a casual wave in the mornings.

-x-

Chapter 2

#cs ff #cs ff au #sarah writes ff #csrt

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psycho-with-a-shotgun · 5 years ago

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My theory on Adam/Ava du Mortains origin.

The Whayhaven Chronicles Part 2 is right around the corner and I would curse myself if I didn’t lay out my theories before the upcoming game spoils everything. I wanted to do this for a long time but I’m a university-student, and sadly this hasn’t been my priority – like sleep or learning algebra. If you don’t want to read my crap and just want a straight answer – scroll down at the end of the post. Now lets dive into the angst!

The author Mishka Jenkins, is an active member on Tumblr and goes by Seraphinite Games (mostly called Sera) and frequently answer asks. In one ask she mentioned that Adam/Ava is the oldest vampire in UB, and as she expressed it – OLD. Like REALLY OLD. And this fact is the greatest clue of them all. But there have to be a limit on how old is OLD. Therefor my first theory is that A was born in medieval times – probably ca 1400-1500 A.D. LET ME EXPLAIN! The first clue is their British accent. Which indicates they must have been raised and lived most of their life in England. The thing about history of the English language is that its divided into 3 parts. Old English (450-1100 AD) – Middle English (1100-1500) – Modern English (1500 - 1800). The English language spoken today is Late Modern English, so technically is belongs in “Modern English club”. Middle English vocabulary can sound really confusing, but it still sounds like British English, just a bit of Scottish into the mix. A great vowel shift occurred between 1300-1700, forming into the English we hear today. So, if you were to go back further than 1300, everyone would sound like a drunk Irishman complaining about his ex-wife – completely incomprehensible. That is why I believe they can’t have lived before 1400.

My second clue is their surname – du Mortain. The name Mortain is first mentioned 1100 and so on, though spelled differently. Which is why A cannot be over 1000 years old.

So, if they have lived for over 500 years, it’s no wonder why they hate humans so much. They have witnessed the cruelty of man for hundreds of years and been spat on time and again for being a vampire.

My second theory is that Adam/Ava was a noble, or rather their family was – probably between baron and marquess. Sera have mentioned is previous ask that A is fluent in Latin and French. A is not like Nate/Nat – They don’t bother learning languages “because it’s fun”. So, they must have been forced or required to. But what kind of people can and want their children to learn such difficult and fancy language. NOBILTY that’s who! There is also a possibility As father was French. Du is frequently used in French surnames. France and England are close to each other and not to mention they have had this “thing” throughout history. Another clue that A was a noble is the fact they used to have long hair, or at least long enough to braid. Currently, Adam has short hair, and although Avas hair is a bit longer she always ties into a tight bun. Why? Because its more practical and won’t get in the way during a fight. If you have not noticed, A is the definition of practical. Actually, if they had a middle-name it would probably be Practical. So why would they ever want to grow out their hair, considering they don’t give a damn about fashion. Because in the world of aristocracy it was customary to have long hair, both women and men. Throughout history long hair have been viewed as a symbol of high-status. Sure, sometimes it was viewed as a sign of poverty or being free-spirited, but medieval Europe was not one of those times. Cute how A still wanted to stay practical by braiding their hair.

My third and last theory is that A was a knight. Only the wealthiest nobles could afford to be a knight, while those of lower status were either foot-soldiers or archers. Besides, everything about her/him screams soldier – as written when the detective meets them for the first (second) time. A is a serious person who prefer using official titles. They have no problem following orders as well taking command. The perfect soldier, don’t you think?

In conclusion: Adam/Ava was born between 1400-1500 A.D. Is over 500 years old. They came from a noble family. Were a knight.

plz let me know if I’ve made any history or grammar mistakes.

#The Wayhaven Chronicles #adam du mortain #ava du mortain #theory #my theories #history #i need sleep #lol jk i dont need sleep #text post #seraphinite games

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lexmagnum · 5 years ago

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Many people are involved in diligent research concerning the use of all capital letters for proper names, e.g., JOHN PAUL JONES as a substitute for John Paul Jones in all court documents, driver's licenses, bank accounts, birth certificates, etc.. Is the use of all capital letters to designate a name some special English grammar rule or style? Is it a contemporary American style of English? Is the use of this form of capitalization recognized by educational authorities? Is this an official judicial or U.S. government rule and/or style of grammar? Why do attorneys, court clerks, prosecutors judges, insurance companies, banks, credit card companies, utility companies, etc. always use all capital letters when writing a proper name?

What English grammar experts say

One of the foremost authorities on American English grammar, style, composition, and rules is The Chicago Manual of Style. The latest (14th) Edition, published by the University of Chicago Press, is internationally known and respected as a major contribution to maintaining and improving the standards of written or printed text. Since we can find no reference in their manual concerning the use of all capitalized letters with a proper name or any other usage, we wrote to the editors and asked this question:

"Is it acceptable, or is there any rule of English grammar, to allow a proper name to be written in all capital letters? For example, if my name was John Paul Jones, can it be written as JOHN PAUL JONES? Is there any rule covering this?"

The Editorial Staff of the University of Chicago answered:

"Writing names in all caps is not conventional; it is not Chicago style to put anything in all caps. For instance, even if 'GONE WITH THE WIND' appears on the title page all in caps, we would properly render it 'Gone with the Wind' in a bibliography. The only reason we can think of to do so is if you are quoting some material where it is important to the narrative to preserve the casing of the letters.

“We're not sure in what context you would like your proper name to appear in all caps, but it is likely to be seen as a bit odd."

Law is extremely precise. Every letter, capitalization, punctuation mark, etc., in a legal document is utilized for a specific reason and has legal (i.e. deadly force) consequences. If, for instance, one attempts to file articles of incorporation in the office of a Secretary of State of a State, if the exact title of the corporation — down to every jot and tittle — is not exactly the same each and every time the corporation is referenced in the documents to be filed, the Secretary of State will refuse to file the papers. This is because each time the name of the corporation is referenced it must be set forth identically in order to express the same legal entity. The tiniest difference in the name of the corporation identifies an entirely different legal person.

It is therefore an eminently valid, and possibly crucial, question as to why governments, governmental courts, and agencies purporting to exist (in some undefined, unproved manner) within the jurisdiction of “this state” insist on always capitalizing every letter in a proper name.

Mary Newton Bruder, Ph.D., also known as The Grammar Lady, who established the Grammar Hotline in the late 1980's for the "Coalition of Adult Literacy," was asked the following question:

"Why do federal and state government agencies and departments, judicial and administrative courts, insurance companies, etc., spell a person's proper name in all capital letters? For example, if my name is John Paul Jones, is it proper at any time to write my name as JOHN PAUL JONES?"

Dr. Bruder's reply was short and to the point: "It must be some kind of internal style. There is no grammar rule about it."

It seemed that these particular grammatical experts had no idea why proper names were written in all caps, so we began to assemble an extensive collection of reference books authored by various publishers, governments, and legal authorities to find the answer.

What English grammar reference books say

Manual on Usage & Style

One of the reference books obtained was the "Manual on Usage & Style," Eighth Edition, ISBN I-878674-51-X, published by the Texas Law Review in 1995. Section D, CAPITALIZATION, paragraph D: 1:1 states:

"Always capitalize proper nouns... [Proper nouns], independent of the context in which they are used, refer to specific persons, places, or things (e.g., Dan, Austin, Rolls Royce)."

Paragraph D: 3:2 of Section D states:

"Capitalize People, State, and any other terms used to refer to the government as a litigant (e.g., the People's case, the State's argument), but do not capitalize other words used to refer to litigants (e.g., the plaintiff, defendant Manson)."

Either no attorney, judge, or law clerk in Texas has ever read the recognized law style manual that purports to pertain to them, or the act is a deliberate violation of the rules for undisclosed reasons. In either ignorance (“ignorance of the law is no excuse”) or violation (one violating the law he enforces on others is acting under title of nobility and abrogating the principle of equality under the law) of law, they continue to write "Plaintiff,” "Defendant," "THE STATE OF TEXAS" and proper names of parties in all capital letters on every court document.

The Elements of Style

Another well-recognized reference book is "The Elements of Style," Fourth Edition, ISBN 0-205-30902-X, written by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White, published by Allyn & Bacon in 1999. Within this renowned English grammar and style reference book, is found only one reference to capitalization, located within the Glossary at "proper noun," page 94, where it states:

"The name of a particular person (Frank Sinatra), place (Boston), or thing (Moby Dick). Proper nouns are capitalized."

There's an obvious and legally evident difference between capitalizing the first letter of a proper name as compared to capitalizing every letter used to portray the name.

The American Heritage Book of English Usage

The American Heritage Book of English Usage, A Practical and Authoritative Guide to Contemporary English, published in 1996, at Chapter 9, E-Mail, Conventions and Quirks, Informality, states:

"To give a message special emphasis, an E-mailer may write entirely in capital letters, a device E-mailers refer to as screaming. Some of these visual conventions have emerged as away of getting around the constraints on data transmission that now limit many networks".

Here is a reference source, within contemporary — modern — English, that states it is of an informal manner to write every word of — specifically — an electronic message, a.k.a. e-mail, in capital letters. They say it's "screaming" to do so. By standard definition, we presume that is the same as shouting or yelling. Are all judges, as well as their court clerks and attorneys, shouting at us when they corrupt our proper names in this manner? (If so, what happened to the decorum of a court if everyone is yelling?) Is the insurance company screaming at us for paying the increased premium on our Policy? This is doubtful as to any standard generalization, even though specific individual instances may indicate this to be true. It is safe to conclude, however, that it would also be informal to write a proper name in the same way.

Does this also imply that those in the legal profession are writing our Christian names informally on court documents? Are not attorneys and the courts supposed to be specific, formally writing all legal documents to the "letter of the law?" If the law is at once both precise and not precise, what is its significance, credibility, and force and effect?

New Oxford Dictionary of English

"The New Oxford Dictionary of English" is published by the Oxford University Press. Besides being considered the foremost authority on the British English language, this dictionary is also designed to reflect the way language is used today through example sentences and phrases. We submit the following definitions from the 1998 edition:

Proper noun (also proper name). Noun. A name used for an individual person, place, ororganization, spelled with an initial capital letter, e.g. Jane, London, and Oxfam.

Name. Noun 1 A word or set of words by which a person, animal, place, or thing is known,addressed, or referred to: my name is Parsons, John Parsons. Kalkwasser is the German name for limewater. Verb 2 Identify by name; give the correct name for: the dead man has been named as John Mackintosh. Phrases. 3 In the name of. Bearing or using the name of aspecified person or organization: a driving license in the name of William Sanders.

From the "Newbury House Dictionary of American English," published by Monroe Allen Publishers, Inc., (1999):

name n. I [C] a word by which a person, place, or thing is known: Her name is Diane Daniel.

We can find absolutely no example in any recognized reference book that specifies or allows the use of all capitalized names, proper or common. There is no doubt that a proper name, to be grammatically correct, must be written with only the first letter capitalized, with the remainder of the word in a name spelled with lower case letters.

US Government Style Manual

Is the spelling and usage of a proper name defined officially by US Government? Yes. The United States Government Printing Office in their "Style Manual," March 1984 edition (the most recent edition published as of March 2000), provides comprehensive grammar, style and usage for all government publications, including court and legal writing.

Chapter 3, "Capitalization," at § 3.2, prescribes rules for proper names:

"Proper names are capitalized. [Examples given are] Rome, Brussels, John Macadam, Macadam family, Italy, Anglo-Saxon."

At Chapter 17, "Courtwork, the rules of capitalization," as mentioned in Chapter 3, are further reiterated:

"17.1. Courtwork differs in style from other work only as set forth in this section; otherwise the style prescribed in the preceding sections will be followed."

After reading §17 in entirety, I found no other references that would change the grammatical rules and styles specified in Chapter 3 pertaining to capitalization.

At § 17.9, this same official US Government manual states:

"In the titles of cases the first letter of all principal words are capitalized, but not such terms as defendant and appellee."

This wholly agrees with Texas Law Review's Manual on "Usage & Style" as referenced above.

Examples shown in § 17.12 are also consistent with the aforementioned §17.9 specification: that is, all proper names are to be spelled with capital first letters; the balance of each spelled with lower case letters.

Grammar, Punctuation, and Capitalization

"The National Aeronautics and Space Administration" (NASA) has publish one of the most concise US Government resources on capitalization. NASA publication SP‑7084, "Grammar, Punctuation, and Capitalization." A Handbook for Technical Writers and Editors, was compiled and written by the NASA Langley Research Center in Hampton, Virginia. At Chapter 4, "Capitalization," they state in 4.1 "Introduction:"

"First we should define terms used when discussing capitalization:

• All caps means that every letter in an expression is capital, LIKE THIS.

• Caps & lc means that the principal words of an expression are capitalized.

• Caps and small caps refer to a particular font of type containing small

capital letters instead of lowercase letters.

Elements in a document such as headings, titles, and captions may be capitalized in either sentence style or headline style:

• Sentence style calls for capitalization of the first letter, and proper nouns of course.

• Headline style calls for capitalization of all principal words (also called caps & lc).

Modern publishers tend toward a down style of capitalization, that is, toward use of fewer capitals, rather than an up style."

Here we see that in headlines, titles, captions, and in sentences, there is no authorized usage of all caps. At 4.4.1. "Capitalization With Acronyms," we find the first authoritative use for all caps:

"Acronyms are always formed with capital letters. Acronyms are often coined for a particular program or study and therefore require definition. The letters of the acronym are not capitalized in the definition unless the acronym stands for a proper name:

Wrong - The best electronic publishing systems combine What You See Is What

You Get (WYSIWYG) features...

Correct - The best electronic publishing systems combine what you see is what

you get (WYSIWYG) features...

But Langley is involved with the National Aero-Space Plane (NASP) Program.”

This cites, by example, that using all caps is allowable in an acronym. "Acronyms" are words formed from the initial letters of successive parts of a term. They never contain periods and are often not standard, so that definition is required. Could this apply to lawful proper Christian names? If that were true, then JOHN SMITH would have to follow a definition of some sort, which it does not. For example, only if JOHN SMITH were defined as 'John Orley Holistic Nutrition of the Smith Medical Institute To Holistics (JOHN SMITH)' would this apply.

The most significant section appears at 4.5., "Administrative Names":

"Official designations of political divisions and of other organized bodies are capitalized:

• Names of political divisions;

• Canada, New York State;

• United States Northwest Territories;

• Virgin Islands, Ontario Province;

• Names of governmental units, US Government Executive Department, US Congress, US Army;

• US Navy.”

According to this official US Government publication, the States are never to be spelled in all caps such as “NEW YORK STATE.” The proper English grammar — and legal — style is “New York State.” This agrees, once again, with Texas Law.

Review's Manual on Usage & Style.

The Use of a Legal Fiction

The Real Life Dictionary of the Law

The authors of "The Real Life Dictionary of the Law," Gerald and Kathleen Hill, are accomplished scholars and writers. Gerald Hill is an experienced attorney, judge, and law instructor. Here is how the term legal fiction is described:

"Legal fiction. n. A presumption of fact assumed by a court for convenience, consistency orto achieve justice. There is an old adage: Fictions arise from the law, and not law from fictions.'

Oran's Dictionary of the Law

From Oran's "Dictionary of the Law," published by the West Group 1999, within the definition of "Fiction" is found:

"A legal fiction is an assumption that something that is (or may be) false or nonexistent is true or real. Legal fictions are assumed or invented to help do justice. For example, bringing a lawsuit to throw a nonexistent ‘John Doe’ off your property used to be the only way to establish a clear right to the property when legal title was uncertain."

Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law

"Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law" 1996 states:

"legal fiction: something assumed in law to be fact irrespective of the truth or accuracy of that assumption. Example: the legal fiction that a day has no fractions — Fields V. Fairbanks North Star Borough, 818 P.2d 658 (1991)."

This is the reason behind the use of all caps when writing a proper name. The US and State Governments are deliberately using a legal fiction to "address" the lawful, real, flesh-and-blood man or woman. We say this is deliberate because their own official publications state that proper names are not to be written in all caps. They are deliberately not following their own recognized authorities.

In the same respect, by identifying their own government entity in all caps, they are legally stating that it is also intended to be a legal fiction. As stated by Dr. Mary Newton Bruder in the beginning of this memorandum, the use of all caps for writing a proper name is an "internal style" for what is apparently a pre-determined usage and, at this point, unknown jurisdiction.

The main key to a legal fiction is assumption as noted in each definition above.

Conclusion: There are no official or unofficial English grammar style manuals or reference publications that recognize the use of all caps when writing a proper name. To do so is by fiat, within and out of an undisclosed jurisdiction by unknown people for unrevealed reasons, by juristic license of arbitrary presumption not based on fact. The authors of the process unilaterally create legal fictions for their own reasons and set about to get us to take the bait, fall for the deceit.

Assumption of a Legal Fiction

An important issue concerning this entire matter is whether or not a proper name, perverted into an all caps assemblage of letters, can be substituted for a lawful Christian name or any proper name, such as the State of Florida. Is the assertion of all-capital-letter names "legal?" If so, from where does this practice originate and what enforces it?

A legal fiction may be employed when the name of a “person” is not known, and therefore using the fictitious name “John Doe” as a tentative, or interim artifice to surmount the absence of true knowledge until the true name is known. Upon discovering the identity of the fictitious name, the true name replaces it.

In all cases, a legal fiction is an assumption of purported fact without having shown the fact to be true or valid. It is an acceptance with no proof. Simply, to assume is to pretend. Oran's "Dictionary of the Law" says that the word “assume” means:

1. To take up or take responsibility for; to receive; to undertake. See "assumption."

2. To pretend.

3. To accept without proof.

These same basic definitions are used by nearly all of the modern law dictionaries. It should be noted that there is a difference between the meanings of the second and third definitions with that of the first. Pretending and accepting without proof are of the same understanding and meaning. However, to take responsibility for and receive, or assumption, does not have the same meaning. Oran's defines “assumption” as:

"Formally transforming someone else's debt into your own debt. Compare with guaranty. The assumption of a mortgage usually involves taking over the seller's 'mortgage debt' when buying a property (often a house)."

Now, what happens if all the meanings for the word "assume" are combined? In a literal and definitive sense, the meaning of assume would be: The pretended acceptance, without proof, that someone has taken responsibility for, has guaranteed, or has received a debt.

Therefore, if we apply all this in defining a legal fiction, the use of a legal fiction is an assumption or pretension that the legal fiction named has received and is responsible for a debt of some sort.

Use of the legal fiction “JOHN P JONES” in place of the proper name “John Paul Jones” implies an assumed debt guarantee without any offer of proof. The danger behind this is that if such an unproven assumption is made, unless the assumption is proven wrong it is considered valid.

An assumed debt is valid unless proven otherwise. (“An unrebutted affidavit, claim, or charge stands as the truth in commerce.”) This is in accord with the Uniform Commercial Code, valid in every State and made a part of the Statutes of each State. A name written in all caps — resembling a proper name but grammatically not a proper name — is being held as a debtor for an assumed debt. Did the parties to the Complaint incur that debt? If so, how and when?

Where is the contract of indebtedness that was signed and the proof of default thereon? What happens if the proper name, i.e. “John Paul Jones,” answers for or assumes the fabricated name, i.e. “JOHN P JONES?” The two become one and the same. This is the crux for the use of the all caps names by the US Government and the States. It is the way that they can bring someone into the "de facto" venue and jurisdiction that they have created. By implication of definition, this also is for the purpose of some manner of assumed debt.

Why won't they use "The State of Texas" or "John Doe" in their courts or on Driver's Licenses? What stops them from doing this? Obviously, there is a reason for using the all-caps names since they are very capable of writing proper names just as their own official style manual states. The reason behind "legal fictions" is found within the definitions as cited above.

The Legalities of All-Capital-Letters Names

We could go on for hundreds of pages citing the legal basis behind the creation and use of all-capital-letters names. In a nutshell, fabricated legal persons such as “STATE OF TEXAS” can be used to fabricate additional legal persons. "Fictions" arise from the law, not the law from fictions. Bastard legal persons originate from any judicial/governmental actor that whishes to create them, regardless of whether he/she/it is empowered by law to do so. However, a law can never originate from a fictional foundation that doesn't exist.

The generic and original US Constitution was validated by treaty between individual nation states (all of which are artificial, corporate entities since they exist in abstract idea and construct). Contained within it is the required due process of law for all the participating nation states of that treaty. Representatives of the people in each nation state agreed upon and signed it. The federal government is not only created by it, but is also bound to operate within the guidelines of Constitutional due process. Any purported law that does not originate from Constitutional due process is a fictional law without validity. Thus, the true test of any American law is its basis of due process according to the organic US Constitution. Was it created according to the lawful process or created outside of lawful process?

Executive Orders and Directives

For years many have researched the lawful basis for creating all-caps juristic persons and have concluded that there is no such foundation according to valid laws and due process. But what about those purported "laws" that are not valid and have not originated from constitutional due process? There's a very simple answer to the creation of such purported laws that are really not laws at all: "Executive Orders" and "Directives." They are "color of law" without being valid laws of due process. These "Executive Orders" and "Directives" have the appearance of law and look as if they are laws, but according to due process, they are not laws. Rather, they are "laws" based on fictional beginnings and are the inherently defective basis for additional fictional "laws" and other legal fictions. They are "regulated" and "promulgated" by Administrative Code, rules and procedures, not due process. Currently, Executive Orders are enforced through the charade known as the Federal Administrative Procedures Act. Each State has also adopted the same fatally flawed administrative "laws."

Lincoln Establishes Executive Orders

Eighty-five years after the Independence of the united States, seven southern nation States of America walked out of the Second Session of the thirty-sixth Congress on March 27, 1861. In so doing, the Constitutional due process quorum necessary for Congress to vote was lost and Congress was adjourned sine die, or "without day." This meant that there was no lawful quorum to set a specific day and time to reconvene which, according to Robert's Rules of Order, dissolved Congress. This dissolution automatically took place because there are no provisions within the Constitution allowing the passage of any Congressional vote without a quorum of the States.

Lincoln's second Executive Order of April 1861 called Congress back into session days later, but not under the lawful authority, or lawful due process, of the Constitution. Solely in his capacity as Commander-in-Chief of the US Military, Lincoln called Congress into session under authority of Martial Law. Since April of 1861, "Congress" has not met based on lawful due process. The current "Congress" is a legal fiction based on nothing more meritorious than “Yeah, so what are you going to do about it?” Having a monopoly on the currency, “law,” and what passes for “government,” and most of the world’s firepower, the motto of the Powers That Be is: “We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.”

Legal-fiction "laws," such as the Reconstruction Acts and the implementation of the Lieber Code, were instituted by Lincoln soon thereafter and became the basis for the current "laws" in the US. Every purported "Act" in effect today is "de facto," based on colorable fictitious entities created arbitrarily, out of nothing, without verification, lawful foundation, or lawful due process. All of such “laws” are not law, but rules of rulership by force/conquest, originating from and existing in military, martial law jurisdiction. Military, martial law jurisdiction

= jurisdiction of war

= win/lose interactions consisting of eating or being eaten, living or dying

= food chain

= law of necessity

= suspension of all law other than complete freedom to act in any manner to eat,

kill, or destroy or avoid being eaten, killed, or destroyed

= no law

= lawlessness

= complete absence of all lawful basis to create any valid law.

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dew-line · 5 years ago

Text

January 1, 2020 – Taking stock.

If one is to have even the remotest of chances to win a particular battle or conquer even the most minute of feats it is important that all you have an up-to-date inventory of your assets, that your weapons are sharpened and properly utilized – let me start here by addressing my English: being Swedish we learn British english in school; however, the impact of American english through movies, music, news and the omnipresent internet have a big impact too. During my formative years when I read books at an atrocious speed I didn’t know that there are a difference in certain aspects of grammar and of spelling between British and American english and i just gobbled it all down lika a hungry goose. So, for the purpose of this blog, and to prevent you, my dear reader, to suffer a brain aneurysm over poor grammar and spelling, i feel that I must make it perfectly clear that I am a language mongrel. Mistakes will be made. Constantly. Hopefully that won’t take too much away from the reading experience itself, as I am sure that I will commit even greater intellectual atrocities once I get around to thinking.

These first few posts will predominantly be about who I am and what I stand for. To make this clear is important – mainly for myself – as I will use this blog to challenge myself and to challenge my own beliefs. I want the topics I choose and the pieces I write to hurt, to grate, and nag, and nip, and tear, to wear away old beliefs and opinions and help replacing them with others, or to push them more firmly in place. What are we, really, if not walking, talking bundles of opinions, prejudices and various mild neurosis (ICD-10)? Many people – and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this – are perfectly happy going through life without even once consider their personal relationship to philosophy, religion or politics – or for that matter their own sense of what is morally right or wrong. The consequences of our actions are seldom of any concern to us, as if our actions do have bad or damaging effects we are usually separated from these effects but either emotional or physical distance – one example could be to say something in a tone of voice that lead someone else to be completely devastated/angry/sad, for instance – if they don’t act on their emotions we assume everything to be in order, and if they do act we assume them to be overly sensitive – as we didn’t mean anything negative with what we said or how we said it. We are an empathic animal, but our empathy is always limited by our own emotions. Another example could be shopping for clothes – we know that buying the cheap stuff from M&H or the latest sneakers from Mike probably mean that we enable child labour - but we don’t even think about it because it is so distant from us. What matters, however, is when the effects of our actions cause direct reactions in, or in close proximity, to ourselves: You jokingly trip someone and they fall over and hit their head on the concrete; you run a red light and you cause a a car accident where a child looses his parents or the parents their child, or you see a dead mallard floating in a pond wrapped in what looks suspiciously like the plastic bag you threw in the water yesterday after feeding breadcrumbs to the birds with your children. What I am saying is that we are hard wired – psychologically and biologically – to predominantly care for the people that are closest to us. If we were to feel the same connection with every living person on the planet we would be nothing but quivering lumps of anxiety – because someone, somewhere will always – even with the best intentions of all mankind – be in the shits. Naturally we will choose the path of least resistance. We go about our days, we do what we do, we buy our stuff: brush, rinse, repeat.

Naturally humans aren’t as simplistic as described above. Every single one of us are a bristling bundle of hopes and dreams, love and hate, joy and fear, thoughts and actions – all bound together by the strongest force know to mankind: complacency. I will leave the topic of complacency and the dreaded consensus to later posts, but I will say that the human ability to create and live in imaginary worlds are practically magical (Harrari).

Then there are the ones that don’t make due. People that abhor complacency and conformity. Some people are contrarians by nature – if you sit at a table with your friends having a conversation, and everyone agrees with each other the contrarian will take up the opposite point of view just for the hell of it. Some do this maliciously, to create conflict (if you are that kind of person – you’re an asshole), other do it in order to promote a reasonable discussion, to bring opposite views into light and strive to encourage critical thinking (if you are this kind of person – good on you! Keep it up! You will still be considered an asshole though). The difference between the first kind of contrarian and the second kind – a part from the purpose. Is usually the degree of understanding of various subjects. If you are to be able to question society and how it operates, you must know quite a lot about society and its constituent parts. Arguments without a factual base is basically bullshit. And we do not want to be considered bullshitters, now, do we?

And finally – after many a word and no breakfast – we have come to the point of this whole post: In the coming few weeks I will try to explain and define the basis for my world view. The reason for doing this is that I want to scrutinize myself and what i believe going in to this blogging endeavor so that I will be able to go back and compare if my views will change as I go.

I will focus on my opinion on the following subjects (in no particular order): Philosophy Religion Politics Morality Art Death

Reader: be warned. Bullshittery may ensue.

Now I will let you relax and enjoy the first day of the rest of the decade.

//Jimmy

#original thoughts #writers on tumblr #philosophy #the dew line

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fixzorforever · 2 years ago

Note

Wow, so this is waht messaging in tumblr is like. Weird Space in here, is this space unlimited or limited. How many charcter limits does this Ask Box Allow me to proccess with, will it halt to proccess after so many or would it not care in any of the slightest of instances of having either one character impute or over seven hundred fiftyfive thousand eighty-eight hundred four decimal five tenth. Will the reader stop reading this after having to read that rather silly number, or will they realize that there is a clue to a mysterious puzzle hidden amonst these writhing ashes, will they kick around in search of the other clues and hault and re-read this title block again and again to see the secrets they hast missed. Oh it looks like this text block expands as I continue to create more and more text lines, how enjoyful now I can create full and ensatiated paragraphs in here that lead no where and nothing about everything. Are you still reading with me OP as I write along this haunting pathway leaden with blasted mortars and shells of the previous engagers, or hast thou left moi alone in this perilessnessless journy that only I can summon, and grant myself the immunity of nonscense. As my spelling of the English (mostly) language alters making new words and true words that not even this grammar and spell checking program setup by Tumblr can tell waht I am writing. Now heres for some trivial knowledge that only a person egated with plants and thier historys can enjoy of, Sarcobatus vermiculatus is a species of shrubby flowering plants in the Family of SARCOBATACEAE, Sarcobatus is Greek naming which is to mean Fleshy Brambles, refering to its rather prominent leaves. Native to the Prairie lands right after the British Columbian Cordillera and extending down through the Dry lands of The United States of America. This plant is potentialy the sole species of a genus, as there are only two species in the Sarcobatus genus but that is in debate wether if Sarcobatus baileyi is just a varient of Sarcobatus vermiculatus, but they werent always like this. Before the year of two thousand nine they were apart of the family CHENOPODIACEAE, the Amaranth Family, and still at that point listed as the name as it currently holds but after the Angiosperm Phylogeny Group III it was re-evaluated with the DNA analysis and similar studies to prove that it was likely not of the Amaranth Family but more likely its own as it shows closeness with three other Families, and a potential Sister Taxon, Agdestis, which only holds no answers if Agdestis is actually its own thing and is commonly with uncertainty place in the SARCOBATACEAE group instead of its own. Now Sarcobatus common name is Greasewood, and a specimen was found in the Expedition of Lewis and Clark in North America. It has very tough and durable wood so it was used for Arrow Shafts and Firewood, but dont eat it as it will give you Potassium Oxalate Poisoning (Sheep are Vulnerable to this) it will give you Liver Failure. More interestingly this plant wants Salt and will only grow common in areas of alkaline and saline soils, often in or near stream beds, but its a desert plains plant so it just grows in the anceint salt rivers of the plains, so you can guarantee the area to be not good for growing other non-alkaline loving plants. Huh Wow we got this page fairly long and I still can write, but my text is now being written just above the task bar of my computer, will it go lower I cannot tell you but it does seem to be growing closer to that which lays under. So how was this story here where you learn something that you cannot use ever, fascinating that you sat there and read this entire this that would dictate that nothing of value to you would be found and yet not you still managed to read here. Oh I could simply just scroll a little and have the text continuum continue a little further away from my taskbar darn so it seems that the under siden will not be reached todays or soon. And neat fact is that you read just over 727 words, Text limit is 4096 by the way, so take that with you. Thunder

neat, dunno why you sent this to me, a fixzor blog, and paragraphs would be useful

#anon #not catcoal #long #unreality

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a-splash-of-stucky · 7 years ago

Text

the search for a beta

Hi everyone!

Long story short: I’m writing a fic for a Stucky bang and need someone to beta my work. Key features of the fic are listed below, and the things I’d need my beta to do are listed under the cut. PM/send me an ask if you have any further questions :)

**PM me (a-splash-of-stucky) if you’re interested!**

Fic details:

Pairing: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: I estimate somewhere between 50-80k words

Language: English (UK)

Major Tags: A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Bucky, Omega!Steve, Mpreg, Loss of virginity, Minor injuries, Royalty AU, Historical AU, Prince!Steve, Knight!Bucky, angst with a happy ending

Fic status: A very rough first draft has been written for most of the chapters

Beta things: (NB: Listed in order of priority)

SPAG (Spelling and Grammar) - British spelling is used in the fic

Plot continuity

Medieval voice (in dialogue especially, not so much for description

Omegaverse content (i.e. including things like scenting, posturing, etc)

Readability and general formatting

Characterisation

Note: you will be showered with my over-the-top, endless gratitude, and, if you'd like, I can write a fic especially for you (within limits)

#beta search #elsa rambles #@ mutuals a little signal boost maybe?#writing updates #works in progress #wips

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rusocialpod · 4 years ago

Photo

Grammar. To many people, the word is almost synonymous with "boredom". Does that make "grammar games" a contradiction? I'm going to say not. More on that in a moment. True, the average grammar book is more useful as a cure for insomnia than it is as a tool for language learning. And in school you probably spent more time buried in those books (and trying to stay awake) than you did actually using any of all that fancy grammar for its actual purpose: communication. So, does grammar really matter? Why Learn Grammar? Does it Really Matter in a Foreign Language? My view is that speaking a language is much more important than good grammar, especially for beginners. That’s why I advocate Speaking from Day 1, even if you do sound like Tarzan. Even so, it's obviously important to learn good grammar - especially once you’ve reached the intermediate and advanced levels of a foreign language. But getting all those conjugations and declensions into your head doesn't have to be a yawn-inducing activity. Believe it or not, learning grammar can be fun! (No, really.) When learning is fun, not only are we more likely to attempt it, but we're more likely to remember what what we've learned. So how can we make grammar fun? The same way we make most things fun: we turn it into a game. What are Grammar Games? Say you're learning German, and you want to memorise the present tense conjugations of the verb sein (to be). The most obvious approach is rote memorisation - just repeat ich bin, du bist, es ist, wir sein, ihr seid, sie sein to yourself over and over again until they're burned permanently into your brain. This is an approach that’s often taught in language classes. It can work, but it's extremely time-consuming and boring, especially when you have another 100 irregular verbs to learn in multiple tenses and moods. A better but still imperfect approach is the classic learning method "look, cover, write, check". Look at the correct verb forms, cover up the screen or piece and paper, try and write down all the forms from memory, then uncover the correct answers and see how well you did. Rinse, repeat. In a way, you can think of this technique as a simple form of game: you play by writing down your target words (in this case the different forms of sein), and you win if you can remember them all with no mistakes. There's a reason this "game" is taught in schools everywhere: it works. But it's still rather boring. We can do better! A "grammar game", then, is essentially any technique for memorising or practising a particular aspect of grammar - be it verb conjugations, sentence structure, spelling and punctuation, or any other intimidating feature of your target language - that's at least slightly more fun than rote memorisation or "look, cover, write, check". The category could include group games that you play in a classroom or with a language partner, grammar review games played online or on your phone, or even grammar practice games that you play in your head in spare moments. In this article I'll give a brief overview of some easy grammar games that you can try. Let’s get started… and don’t forget to have fun! Grammar Games for Kids When I worked as an English teacher, I always enjoyed getting the class involved in games (and as far as I could tell, the kids enjoyed it too). They were a fun way to keep everyone engaged while still learning something - and just because children enjoy them, that doesn't meant that adults can't also enjoy them. Some of these games are more childish than others, but you could try adapting them for your own purposes, for example to play with your language exchange partner or italki tutor. Describing and Drawing a Person Give everyone a piece of paper, and nominate one person to be the "describer". It's their job to think of someone they know, or a famous person (it's more interesting if they pick someone who's in the room), then to describe that person's appearance. At lower levels this helps practice simple adjectival phrases like "he is tall" or "she has red hair", and the descriptions can get more advanced according to your ability. For example, more advanced learners could describe what someone is wearing or what their personality and mannerisms are like. As the nominee gives more detail, everyone draws on their piece of paper what they think the person being described looks like. When they've been given enough detail, they can try and guess who they've drawn. The describer then reveals who they were thinking of, and everyone can show their drawings to the rest of the class to see how well they did. This last step often produces huge laughter, since most of the drawings will be hilarious caricatures of the real person. Twenty Questions Just in case you've never played this game before, it works as follows: you pick a celebrity or an object, and the the other players have to figure out who or what you are. To gain information, they ask you yes or no questions (usually a maximum of twenty, hence the name, but you can pick whatever arbitrary limit you like) to try and narrow down the possibilities: "Are you male? Are you American? Are you an actor? A singer?", and so on. A variant on this game was made famous by the film Inglourious Basterds where it’s played in a bar by Allied spies and an unwitting SS Officer (just watch the movie, it will make sense). In this version, everyone writes a celebrity's name on a piece of paper and passes it to the person on their left, who then sticks the paper to their own forehead so that everyone except them can see what it says. Now instead of the group asking questions to figure out who you are, you ask questions to the group to figure out how you are. Whichever version you play, it's a good way to practice forming and answering questions. To expand the range of potential grammar practiced, you could permit questions that require a more in-depth answer than a simple "yes" or "no". You could also insist that the answer replies in full sentences each time - "Are you male?" "Yes, I'm male" - which also helps practice switching between different forms of the same verb. Mister Wolf and other Classic Children's Games Telling the time is something that varies slightly from language to language, and always takes some getting used to. For example, to a German "half four" (halb vier) means 3:30 (half before four) while to a British person it means 4:30 (half after four), and to an American it makes no sense at all - two o'clock, maybe? What’s the time, Mister Wolf? is a classic game for young children that exposes them to the different ways of describing the time. One player is "Mister (or Miss) Wolf", and stands at one end of the playing area with his or her back to the other children, who stand in a line at the far end of the area. The other children walk forward while calling out "What's the time, Mister Wolf?". Mister Wolf then turns around and responds with a time (e.g. "it's 4 o'clock!"). This repeats, with Mister Wolf saying different times as the players get closer and closer, until on one round he replies to their question with "it's dinnertime!" and chases the players back to where they started. If Mister Wolf catches another player before they've reached the starting line, that player becomes Mister Wolf for the next round of the game. This is just one classic game that children love and that has the side effect of teaching them a bit of grammar. There are plenty of other children’s games you can use in this way. "Simon Says", for example, is full of imperatives, while "I Spy" teaches you spelling. Who knows how many other games there are that could be adapted for your target language! What other games did you play as a child that you didn't realise were also teaching you something useful? Let me know in the comments! Now we’ve covered grammar games for kids, let’s take a look at some grammar games for adults. Grammar Games For Adults Some of the above games might be too childish for your liking, but grammar doesn't have to become boring just because you’re an adult learner. Here are some grammar games you could play as an adult: Would You Rather? This is a classic game that you've probably played before. One person poses an interesting and/or ridiculous choice between two options - would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck? Then each person in the group gives their own answer and a brief explanation of why they made that choice. As well as prompting some thoughtful (and bizarre) discussion, these types of questions are a good way to practice some less commonly-used verb forms like the conditional, and can be adapted to any language. If you run out of interesting 'would you rather' questions to ask, you can visit either.io for an effectively infinite list of ideas. Taboo Taboo is a classic parlour game where you have to help your teammates correctly guess the word written on your card without saying the word itself or any of the other words on the card. For example your word might be be "car", but you're not allowed to say "car", "vehicle", "drive", "transport", "road", or "travel". Taboo is a great way to build vocabulary, not least because it represents exactly what you should do when you need to say something in a foreign language but don't know the word: stick within the target language and try to get your point across in other words, rather than immediately blurting it out in English and asking for a translation. As well as vocabulary, Taboo will help your grammar, That’s because when the most obvious words aren't available to you, the only alternative is often a winding, roundabout sentence with a complicated structure. "It's the big metal thing you sit in and press the pedals with your feet to go fast from one place to another." Look at all that grammar! Role Playing Grammar Games At the end of the day, the point of learning all this grammar is so that you can use it in real life. So why not get straight to the point, and play some role-playing games with a language partner that simulate a real-world encounter you're likely (or unlikely) to have? Some common situations you might want to practice are: checking into a hotel, introducing yourself to new people, asking for directions, and ordering something over the telephone. You can surely think of many more examples based on your hobbies and interests and the daily experiences you're likely to have. Since our focus here is on grammar, some other role-playing ideas you could use are: Fortune teller. One person is the fortune teller, and the other has come to get their fortune read. What does the fortune-teller see in their crystal ball? How does the other person feel about it? This is a good way of practicing the future tense. Alibi. The police suspect you of a crime, and they want to know if you have an alibi. Where were you on Friday night? Who were you with? What were you doing? The suspect won't be able to talk their way out of this situation unless they've got a good grasp on the different types of past tense. Late for work. One person is the boss, and the other is an employee who's just shown up late. What's their excuse? The boss should question the employee's story, pick holes in it, and try to figure out if they're lying. In the process, the boss practices asking different kinds of questions (why? how? when? who?), while the employee will practise answers and the past tense. Whatever it is you want to practise, try and think of a "real" situation where it might get used, and see what role-playing ideas you can come up with. Online Grammar Games Go to Google or to the Android or Apple app stores, type in the name of your target language, and you'll probably find a zillion free grammar games (and lots of paid ones too). For obvious reasons, each game tends to be focussed on just one specific language, and a detailed list of available games for every language are beyond the scope of this article, but two digital resources are worth mentioning: Duolingo Duolingo is one of the most popular language-learning apps out there today, and at the time of writing it offers free courses in over 20 different languages. There's already a detailed review of Duolingo on this site. As well as being a fun and easy way to practise a language and build your vocabulary, Duolingo gradually introduces you over time to new grammatical concepts and provides detailed explanations of how to use them. Duolingo is no substitute for real face-to-face speaking practice, but it can make a nice supplement. Anki I'm a huge a proponent of using spaced repetition systems - more commonly known as "flashcards" - to learn languages, and the most popular digital SRS tool is undoubtedly Anki (for iOS, for Android, and for everyone else). Anki lets you create totally customisable flashcards on whatever topic you like (not just languages!), and if you don't feel like creating you own there's an enormous directory of pre-made content on their website where you can download flashcards that other people have created. The most basic way to use an SRS is to learn vocabulary; create flashcards with English words (or pictures) on one side and your target language's translation of those words on the other side. But did you know that flashcards are also a fantastic way to learn grammar? Here’s a grammar game you can use on Anki: Say you want to learn the present-tense conjugations of the Spanish verb "hablar" (to speak). Rather than trying to kill yourself with boredom by repeating hablo, hablas, habla etc. ad nauseam, it's much more interesting to come up with some sample sentences that demonstrate the different forms of the word (e.g. yo hablo español) and turn them into flashcards. On the "answer" side of the card, write the full sample sentence. On the "question" side, write something like yo ______ español - (hablar). Now, when you review the card, your job is to figure out which form of "hablar" belongs in the blank space. Create a few sample sentences for each verb form (or whatever) that you want to learn, and you'll find that this is a much more efficient and enjoyable way of getting grammar into your head than beating yourself over the head with a verb table. Go Forth And Play! This list is by no means exhaustive, but by now I hope I've given you an idea of what grammar games are, how you can use them, and why they're helpful. Whatever it is you want to practise, there are endless possibilities for how you can accelerate your learning by turning it into a game. Have fun! The post 12 Fun Grammar Games to Help You Learn a Language appeared first on Fluent in 3 months - Language Hacking and Travel Tips.

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kingofthewilderwest · 8 years ago

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Voltron Paladins’ Native Languages

So, I’m not like 100% sold on the idea, but I guess it would make most sense that Earth has developed a full-blown universal translator by the time VLD events transpire? Not going to get into the linguistics of where universal translators are problematic, but it’s still the most plausible thing I think could be going on in Voltron.

The Galaxy Garrison is likely an international organization. Now, the global lingua franca (ex: English) could be the official language of the school, and the students they accept might have to pass language proficiency tests. That’s a possibility. But it’s sort of odd that all the Voltron characters have American English accents despite their diverse origins. The United States of course does have people of all backgrounds in the country, but I always felt that the writers were intentionally diversifying the Voltron characters to represent the world... and thus they’d actually be BORN in Cuba, BORN in Samoa, BORN in Japan, BORN in Italy. And yet not a single human has a hint of a non-native American English speaker accent on the Voltron team... not even an American dialect with stigmatized regional features can be heard.

Then there’s the talking-to-aliens aspect we need to consider. The Alteans are capable of visually modifying themselves to help interact with different species, but I don’t think that includes suddenly being able to speak other languages. Not to mention every species that the Voltron team meets can be immediately understood. How are they understanding the Galra or the Balmerans? A universal translator again, avoiding scientific problems of this device would be the trick.

It also explains why Pidge can understand anything Allura says but cannot read Altean. It explains why the only words that don’t translate from Coran or Allura are the words which have no direct translation. So. It could be the case that there’s something like a universal translator each Voltron character has that analyzes audio of a species and translates the audio to the Voltron characters. Why they’re always wearing it and why it’s not seen... uh... let’s not get into it.

But anyway! What’s so great about the universal translator idea is that it opens up a world of amusing speculations. There are all sorts of fun headcanon questions to answer like what languages are the Voltron team actually speaking?

My headcanons, more or less:

(I don’t like the idea of everyone having this much English exposure, but the language is currently a global lingua franca and is an L1 or L2 of 20% of the world’s current population. So I did have to rationalize the language into this).

Lance is a full-blown bilingual. He knows English and Spanish completely fluently, grew up speaking both languages, and prattles in both of them with ease. He’d be great at picking up more languages if he had the motivation to do so - he’s a natural!

When he’s hanging out with the Voltron crew, he’s usually speaking English because English was the accepted international language used in the Garrison’s written reports. So since he first meets Keith, Pidge, Lance, and Shiro at the Garrison, that’s the language Lance defaults on with them. Hearing Allura speak in something that sounds like a British dialect is going to subconsciously keep Lance using English too while they’re in space. But there are times he’s switching between both languages. He definitely speaks both around the crew.

Pidge is somewhat monolingual with decent exposure to several other languages. My emotional heart says that Pidge speaks only Italian I really don’t like the idea of the Voltron crew having a common language and I want that to be my headcanon, but I realize that’s not realistic at all.

She lives close to the Garrison, obvious in that she’s able to just hop in and break their security. Since the Holts live close to the Garrison, this means that the Garrison is either in Italy or she knows the local language where the Garrison is located. Between those two scenarios I’d say it’s more likely the Garrison is not in Italy... especially given as the news report for the Kerberos’ failed mission is in English. And I would imagine her father has been working with the Garrison for a while, so that disproves the idea of her growing up mostly in Italy and then moving close to the Garrison only within the last few years.

So Pidge knows Italian and whatever-local-language-is-around, and if the local language isn’t English, then also a decent amount of English. English would be useful for programming languages, after all! So she’s got no problem programming and reading in English. However, since her exposure to English is mostly text, she’s not competent at all in a conversation, either listening or speaking in English.

If my heartcanon for Pidge being a monolingual Italian speaker had made sense, then I’d love for there to be this moment that her universal translator glitches maybe the idea still slightly works if the Garrison isn’t in an English speaking nation. Suddenly she can’t understand anybody except for sort-of Lance when he speaks Spanish. The two languages are borderline mutually intelligible, after all. So Lance tries to help her out with Spanish while she’s speaking Italian, they’re somewhat making it halfway function (Lance’s slang is not helping), but she breathes this enormous sigh of relief when she gets the tech fixed.

Keith is monolingual. He knows American English and that’s it. Given as his father seems to speak in one of the Southern United States English dialects, I like to headcanon that little boy Keith lived in the South for about eight years and spoke a Southern dialect. Then he and his father moved northwest, Keith dropped that dialect through lack of exposure before adolescence, and picked up an Upper Midwestern American English accent in place (what we hear him speak on screen). Keith could still speak in a Southern accent if he wanted to, but no one’s ever heard him do it. And no one ever will.

Shiro is essentially monolingual. He’s only fluent in Japanese. He was taught Mandarin Chinese and English in school for many years, but despite being a good student, he was always bad at foreign language. The result is he’s highly limited in both. He’s more than alright reading Mandarin but not so good in conversation. Regarding English, Shiro can understand the language just fine when he hears it (since he’s heard it spoken enough), but he’s never been good at returning a response. If Shiro tries to talk in English, he’s got noticeably slow, broken, ungrammatical English and a reaaaally thick Japanese accent. He demonstrates his limited Chinese and English speaking abilities to the team at one time. They think it’s adorable.

Hunk knows Samoan. Again my heartcanon says it’s Samoan alone, but my head points out that Samoan + English makes sense (depending on where he grew up). Those are the two official languages in the country (with more L2 Samoan speakers than L1), and other Samoan populations are in English-speaking countries like New Zealand and Australia. So it’s just likely Hunk has been heavily exposed to both languages since he was young. But! That said... he’s terrible at English spelling. Downright terrible.

As for Allura and Coran... we don’t know anything about Altean languages and dialects outside of the few words Pidge hears in the training (the Alteans have clicks! woot!). My headcanon says that Allura and Coran don’t speak the same dialect (since the voice actors don’t speak the same English dialect) but they do speak the same language. Allura speaks the most sociolinguistically prestigious dialect of Altea. Coran’s dialect is noticeably different but doesn’t have too much negative sociolinguistic status to it. His speech sounds just as ridiculous to Allura as it does to the Paladins because he uses a lot of his regional slang.

So if everyone’s universal translators broke at once... Hunk, Lance, and and Keith would be able to converse just fine. Coran and Allura are able to talk to each other. Lance and Pidge could get some things to work if they speak slowly and avoid slang. With everyone else Pidge would be shrugging. And there’d be poor Shiro stuck, capable of communicating with absolutely no one beyond gestures, pained facial expressions, and the occasional grammatically incorrect English sentence.

And during the event of a Lion/Voltron fight with said translator glitch:

Shiro: Make... [forgets word for “sword” in English] ...stick???

Pidge: Che palle! Merda! Lance: Con esa boca comes? Keith: Wait, what are you saying? Lance: I didn’t catch it all, but I’m not translating! Hunk: Whoa. You saying Pidge has a potty mouth?

Keith: They’ve got the tactical advantage here. If we’re not careful, they’re going to outflank us. We’ve got to outmaneuver them before they outmaneuver us. Pidge: I don’t understand. Can you explain me in simple English? Lance: Explain me? No, no, Pidge, you mean “Explain to me.” Keith: Fewer grammar lessons, more fighting!

Shiro: Etou... robotto? Make-oo? Keith: What?!?!? Lance: Hey Shiro, we need that in English! Shiro: Ro... no... make-oo robotto. Lance: English! Shiro: Make-oo robotto! Pidge: That is his English! Hunk: What is he saying? Keith: “Make... robot?” Everyone else: Ohhhh! “Form Voltron!”

(P.S. I checked with a friend who speaks Italian for Pidge, and I speak a decent amount of Spanish, but I am only a native speaker of English so I apologize if I made mistakes!)

#non-dragons #vld #Voltron #long post #Voltron: Legendary Defender #Voltron Legendary Defender #analysis #my analysis #Paladins #the... creators haven't talked about this have they? right? I'm not out of the loop?#also I know there are several things that wouldn't work with the universal translator idea #even beyond the complexity of creating one #for instance #the sound effects wouldn't make much sense to be said the way they are if everyone's in their own language #a universal translator isn't going to translate onomatopoeia quite like that?#also the whole thing with Lance mistaking a repeated yup as language #and Slav recognizing what the problem is #an alien species with a totally different language and likely different manner of verbalizing #would not hear 'yup' the same way #BUT ANYWAY #......maybe I just need to write a drabble off of the universal translator glitch #since apparently it's already writing itself

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