#so i will bc everyone knows its normal for me to be high but im gonna smoke soooo much

[bacchuschucklefuck]

while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best

[jonathanssweatercollection]

you still resent nancy and jonathan for getting together???? for “hurting steve’s feelings”??? despite the fact that he verbally supported their relationship like 2 hours after seeing them together. this from a season that released 6 fucking years ago. a season prior to him saying that he was NOT in love with nancy anymore. do you want me to call shawn levy and tell him of your dilemma. bestie do you need to rewatch the source material

[sensitivedead]

.

[silverislander]

i got my hair cut today which was so needed but i am going to be honest. i have been trying to make the most of it all day but frankly its not good i will be at least slightly embarrassed to be in public w my head lookin the way it does rn

[toastsnaffler]

SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING SO HARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

[bulldagger-bait]

Will never forget being a kid and telling someone i was south african only to have them ask:

"Did you have clothes in africa?"

"Had you ever had a bath before coming to Australia?"

"Did you live in a house with walls and bricks?"

Like. Yeah, I guess we were 8... But also i feel like a lot of people's understanding of "Africa" has never really progressed past that point.

[ceilidho]

coworker soap who frames the fleshlight thing as a joke but with a creepy undercurrent that you cant understand why you know it isnt a joke but you also dont wanna rock the boat so you dont tell hr bc johnny the ex-military man is a model employee otherwise and you cant help but feel hot shame run down ur spine when he says it that you are, at least a little, flattered by it bc shit dude hes HOT. coworker soap who just. doesnt bring it up again. its just boiling rhe frog. he says weird, borderline creepy shit that could be passed off as "guy talk" in any other situation (regardless of readers gender). He follows you around like a puppy and where it used to be normal for you, you feel a little creeped out now but. everyone. already refers to you as a duo. itd be weird if you stopped for no reason? right?

i don't know what broke in my mind long ago that this is like, the weirdly hottest thing in the world to me but im genuinely twitching over it right now.

model employee Johnny, knows the handbook inside and out, walks elderly customers to their cars with their bags, shows up to work early for every shift, always with a smile and a positive attitude. management loves him because his sales are also record high (i mean, it makes sense - i wouldn't be able to say no if he was helping me with a purchase and tried to upsell me). he's also a spokesperson for the company in all of their internal training videos because he was hired through some "jobs for vets" program that they just rolled out (idk i'm making this up). and the guy can stack things on a shelf like no one's business lmao like MILITARY precision/organization.

all your coworkers love him and genuinely like fist pump whenever they get put on the schedule with him because he's a blast to work with, and some of your coworkers are actually incredibly jealous that he just seems to follow you around everywhere. hangs off your every word. always seems to just pop out from around the corner whenever you're having trouble reaching something on a shelf.

but he says weird, uncomfortable shit to you sometimes. way over the line. you don't even know what to say at first when Johnny jokingly tells you that he has a fleshlight at home that he's named after you, just laughs and then stares at you for a second. and you like, give a little awkward laugh, growing more uncomfortable by the second the longer he stares at you without blinking. until something passes over his eyes and suddenly he's back to normal, clapping you on the arm and wandering off back to the men's apparel section.

he does a lot of strange shit actually. maybe insists on walking you to your car when the two of you are on the closing shift and it's well into the evening. laughs a little too hard and with too much vigour when someone calls him your shadow, his eyes just a little too bright and fervent. asks if you want to sit on his lap while he shows you how to use the forklift in the backroom. begs management to let him take his breaks with you and doesn't let you have a moment of peace, just sits with you in the breakroom or follows you to your car when you say that you're going out for lunch.

and you can't complain to any of your coworkers because the second you so much as criticize his work, they bark at you to be nice to him. he's just re-acclimating to civilian life, of course he's not perfect at his job yet. they defend him viciously. and the real jealous ones even tell on you in front of him, leaving you standing there embarrassed and on the spot until Johnny just smiles and says that it's alright. you'll just have to teach him better.

[hyewka]

dominating..ceo soobin….dominating CEO SOOBIN!!!

using his tie as bondage ..haha im normal about this haha..but hear me out!!!!! hes a total nepo baby, getting the ceo position because of his father. different than his older brother in the sense that he thinks following in the steps of his father is his duty, none of that sense of “carrying tradition” translates well to his work though bcs he effing fucks up virtually everything that he touches. terrible at his job (nobody really tells him though) that his father has to literally hire someone to take it upon themselves to make the right decisions..so basically he has his CEO title for show. terrible at negotiation but not at asserting his dominance in the work space lol has the face of steel, not cracking a smile at any formal work events (not everyone knows hes playing with the cuffs of his stupidly expensive suit behind his back).

networking networking..networking!!! you approached mr. choi for networking. like everybody else. being friends with your ceo is unlikely, but being friendly with him would give you some perks. itd be hard though, considering the reputation he holds (cold, aloof, distant…bleh). with your simple black dress paired with pearl accessories to compliment it and your glass of wine in hand, you walk up to the rigid man by the weirdly empty bar. soobin is…awkward, really awkward. stumbles around his words when he offers a longer response to you, definitely is unprofessional with the way he just cant hide the blush on his cheeks and the fact that he even mildly finds you attractive. okay so change of plans, you’re flirting with your boss. harmless fun, everyones sort of drunk and in their own world with their plus ones anyway. “what department do you work in?”

“mm, you’re quite a curious guy.” you hide the amused smile managing to break through at seeing how his eyes widen, looking like his brains working at hundreds of miles per hour, “i’m in marketing.”

“oh, i hope you don’t take this the wrong way—sorry if you feel uncomfortable with so many questions.”

“i don’t mind them, keep asking.” you were definitely crossing an invisible territory with the way you bat your lashes at him, swirling your drink, pushing your tits up..just a bit.

himbo soobin getting more tipsy by the minute, he definitely becomes a little loose, a lot more confident with his words, though more susceptible to your teasing remarks, getting flustered every time you decide to slur your voice and actually hold eye contact.

now imagine you end up pushing soobin in a bathroom definitely not meant to fit two, at the party where hundreds of your coworkers are present, and giving him a fucking …handjob. “the bathroom?” he whispers, shocked at his whereabouts. you don’t pay him much mind as you hurriedly unbuckle his jeans, “raise your hands.” you order.

when you realize he didn’t listen to you, you take it upon yourself to take untie his tie, to which he audibly complains, “wait no—my outfitttt..”

“do you want to get like, the handjob of your life or are you going to keep being a whiny bitch?”

you’re not sure where the surge of confidence comes from (considering he could fire you with the snap of his fingers), but it shuts him up. using his expensive tie to keep his hands restrained, arms up high while you play with the himbos dick, haha…im gonna pass because the way hed be sooo whiny, whimpers slipping through but even more so when you experiment with dirty talk to see how he reacts—trying an insult about his work ethic, and how everyone sees him as incompetent, destined to throw the company to the ground..oh yup, there it is, his dick’s reacting. beads of precum’s dribbling down his tip, and you coo having found what he likes. “mr. choi likes getting degraded? imagine if your subordinates found out…”

“don’t—don’t tell anybody..please” its barely a whisper through the gasps you pull out of him every sudden speed up on his girth, but you could pick up on it.

you could’ve reassured him that you won’t, his secrets safe with you, pathetic ceo who likes to be dominated by a woman?!?!! scandalous!!! you obviously wouldn’t tell anybody, and you’ll make sure to clear that up after this but…having some fun wouldn’t hurt. not when you’re already giving your boss a fucking handjob. “my mouths tight shut… if you follow through. no cumming unless i say so.”

[banamine-bananime]

AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?

I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.

Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.

aw shit derailed on a tangent again

recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?

S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)

So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.

Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.

Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.

So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄

we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".

Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.

its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about

Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like

_____

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:

okay but we're right

[sheluvslani]

Not What It Looks Like Pt. 1

Request: Omg Lani, I’m so fucking high rn and I gots an idea. What about a ghostface Amber fic where she breaks into r’s house as ghostface. I kinda want it to be like in scream 1996 with Tatum where r goes: “don’t kill me Mr ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel.” But like ghostface/amber spares them for s*x in return. And then r finds out it’s Amber bc of the way ghostface is fucking them. ITS A LOT, I KNOW BUT I FEEL LIKE IM COOKING UP SOMETHING HERE- (anyway, I love your work ;3, keep doing yo shi bsf)

Pairing: Ghostface!Amber x fem!reader

Summary: Ghostface breaks into r’s apartment, fearing for her life, r would do anything to survive.

Warning: Ghostface, breaking in, red text color is ghostface talking, set in scream 5 but with certain characters added from scream 6🤓

A/n: okay Walter white, I see you cooking up something other than that weed :3 I love this request tho, istg I gotta get high more often to create ideas this good LMAO! No but seriously, this sounds amazing and thank you for asking me to write this! (Plus, I find it funny that you censored sex)

You were at your friend Tara’s dorm with the rest of your friend group, playing uno and getting drunk. You were sat down between Tara and your girlfriend Amber. She rested her hand on your thigh as she watched the game, sipping on her beer. 

“Uno!” You raised your hands in the air as a sign in victory, the rest of the group groaning and slamming their cards down onto the wooden dining table.

As you cheered and gloated in front of everyone’s face, the news on the TV started blaring, the siren blaring in your ears.

“Breaking News: Blackmore University film student by the name of Jason Carvey was found brutally stabbed in his dorm. The mutilated body of his roommate, Gary Bruckner, has been found crammed inside the fridge. A bloody Ghostface mask was found on the scene, police ran a DNA test and concluded that the mask belonged to Billy Loomis,”

“The infamous Ghostface of Woodsboro,” You and the group finished the sentence in unison. After the Woodsboro attack, the group moved to New York to live a “normal life”

But it looks like the plans gone to shit.

Amber reached over for the remote and shut the TV off. When you looked at her, her expression was stone cold, her jaw clenched as she stared at the blank screen. You originally thought it was from shock, but there was something in the way her lips pursed too hard that made it seem odd.

“It’s probably not even Ghostface this time, just some random looking for a thrill.” Mindy said as she got up to grab another beer.

“I’m sorry, Catherine Obvious, but have you been here for the past year?” Chad waved his hand in front of Mindy’s face when she sat down. “It’s obviously him… they followed us.” He leaned back his chair, drumming his fingers on his arm.

The room was silent for a moment, everyone taking in the information that no one wanted to hear.

“We need to go.” Sam stared down in the middle of the table, her eyes burning holes into the colorful Uno cards. 

“Psh, Sam, it’ll be fine. Don’t be dramatic.” Amber smirked as she wrapped her arm around your shoulder, her attitude completely different than what it was 10 seconds ago.

Sam threw a death-glance at Amber, about to cuss her out before Anika spoke up, 

“Yeah, I think we’ll be fine. If anything, we have cute boy across the street to help us.” Anika smirked as Sam’s face grew a bright red, muttering something under her breath before beelining to her room.

“Well. I say we call it a night.” Chad said as he stretched his arms over his head.

Everyone agreed and collected their belongings while Mindy was (rightfully) the one to help clean up everything.

————————————————————————

Amber had her arm wrapped around your waist as she walked you back to your dorm. When you arrived, Amber softly kissed your cheek as her other hand traveled up your shoulder, her fingers digging into your skin.

“Be safe, y/n. I can’t handle another one of Sam’s hour-long speeches about sticking together.”

You softly chuckled as she swept a strand of hair from your face. “I’ll try. But if anything happens, I’ll call you. Goodnight, Amber.” You softly squeezed her arm before letting go, entering your dorm as you blew her a kiss.

You locked the door behind you, placing your phone and keys on the entryway table. You stretched your arms above your head, your muscles tense from the game and a pounding headache from the news and the amount of alcohol in your system. 

You walked into your bedroom, taking off your shoes before grabbing a pair of pajamas and heading to the bathroom, your steps slow and relaxed.

The hot water of the shower rained down on you, your muscles relaxing from the aroma of the lavender bodywash that Amber bought for you. The soap suds ran down your curves, collecting at the foot of the shower before being washed away.

When you finished and wrapped yourself in a towel, you walked to the sink to brush your teeth. The spearmint toothpaste lingered in your mouth before being replaced with the strong taste of the cool mint mouthwash you spat out into the sink.

You put in a black bra and a pair of black panties before grabbing your pajamas. The blue cotton antic stuck to your damp body as you pulled the shirt over your head and stepped into the matching pants.

You threw your dirty clothes into the weaven laundry hamper, the bin rocking against the wall for a split second. 

You sat down in front of your vanity, grabbing your brush and running it through the knots in your hair. The brush caught on one particularly big knot in your hair. As you struggled to brush it out, the landline that was sitting on your bedside table started ringing.

“Unknown Number”

The words flashed on the tiny screen as the ringing filled the room.

 Once you brushed out the tangle, you reached over to press the “accept” button on the landline.

“Hello? Y/n speaking. ” You called out as you ran a hand through your hair.

“Hello? Is Maria there?” The voice on the other line was adenoidal and croaky.

Maria was your roommate who was currently out of town, visiting her parents.

“No, she’s not available. Might I ask who this is?”

“I’m Joey. I’m in her trig class” The caller cleared their throat.

“Oh yeah? Joey from trigonometry. How come I’ve never heard of you, Joey from trigonometry?” You smirked as you teased the poor person on the other line.

“You sound exactly like how she describes you.”

“She talks about me?

“I don’t think I can really talk about that.”

“What does she say about me?”

“She says that you’re creative. You love reading and TV and movies.”

“Lots of people love movies.”

“Yeah, but she says you love scary movies and that you guys have that in common.”

“She told me the other day, she wonders…” The voice trailed off for a moment before continuing.

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

Your ear perked up as you faced the landline, the bright green color of the screen stared at you, blinking the numbers over and over again.

“Well, I really liked “X”. It’s great representation of the psycho-biddy genre.”

“Sounds kinda boring to me. Have you ever seen Stab?”

“Once, i think. At a sleepover when I was, like, 12.”

“You lived in Woodsboro when you were a kid and you don’t know Stab?”

Now that, caught your attention. No one exceopt for the rest of the group knew you were from Woodsboro. You picked up the phone, pulling it to your ear as you made your way back into the living room to grab your cell.

“How’d you know I lived in Woodsboro?”

The voice on the other line was replaced by heavy breathing and the sound of rummaging.

“This isn’t fucking funny, Amber.”

“I told you, this isn’t Amber. But you’re looking particularly fetching tonight. Those blue pajamas really fit you.”

“What do you want?” You grabbed your phone and pulled up the dial button, as you pressed in the 9 and 1, the voice boomed again.

“Stop right there, y/n. You call the cops, you die. You hang up the phone, you die. It’s not hard getting into your dorm. Especially when you leave your window unlocked.”

That’s when you felt the slight breeze behind you. As you turned around, you saw that the living room window was wide open, the wind flowing with the curtains.

You bolted to the window, slamming it shut and locking it. You ran into your room, locking the door behind you.

The voice came on the landline again, “Come on, y/n… Don’t be shy, come and find me…”

You searched every nook and cranny in your room, carefully making sure there was no sign of Ghostface here.

When you searched under your bed, you found a bloody Ghostface mask, more blood stuck to your hands the longer you held it… it was easy to recognize this one too…

Mickey Alteri

The 2nd Ghostface

“What the fu-,” was all you could manage to get out before you heard the doors of your closet adjacent to the bed, crashing open. A black-robed figure sprinting at you was the last thing you saw before being tackled to the ground by Ghostface. A knife was pressed against your throat from the person above you, the voice changer crackled with every heavy breath.

“Surprise, y/n.”

[redr0sewrites]

Aaravos x reader Hcs

here r some aaravos hcs bc i am in pain i wrote this with killer cramps while running on 4 hrs of sleep and an energy bar so i cant promise this will be good.

🥀CW: fluffiness, teasing, smut, thigh riding, subby aaravos, oral (reader receiving), hair pulling?, wax play, overall filth

🥀minors dni with nsfw part

SFW:

after being trapped in the mirror for so long, aaravos is severely touch starved

whether u two are in a romantic or platonic relationship, your personal space is his personal space as well (unless u tell him to leave you alone, but even then he'll still probably tease)

He is the type to just walk up to you and rest his arm on your head

he is TALL

if you are short (like me) and you ever need to reach something up high, this man practically materializes behind you to grab it for you he will hold it above his head and giggle while you struggle but will eventually give it to you

i feel like hes the type of person to enjoy slow and "elegant" music he would love my way by frank sinatra you can not tell me im wrong bc im not

aaravos will pull you into a slow waltz at random times

he enjoys the arts, and i feel like he would enjoy painting and doing sketches of you

he LOVES it if you play with his hair, just run your hands through it and he will literally melt

if you can do pretty hairstyles or braids he will be very content in relaxing while you do his hair

aaravos definitely enjoys reading, and would totally read to you if you asked (he would tease u a little tho but thats ok)

"do you really enjoy my voice that much, little star?"

he has the most stunning laugh

normally he just lets out small chuckles or smirks but the first time you make him genuinely laugh you just sit there in awe

he is ✨fabulous✨and takes forever to get ready

the type to arrive fashionably late (he will make an effort to arrive on time for dates tho)

hes a total drama queen and will make a huge deal about kissing you

he acts all confident but in reality is ridiculously nervous when he first met you

you were the first person to truly capture his heart and he doesn't want to fuck it up

he knows he isnt the most easy person (elf??) to love but will make an effort to be better for you

he prefers to listen in conversation rather then talk alot, however if you ask him about something hes interested in or ask him a magic question or something he will gladly talk for hours

enjoys holding your hand, you two are practically linked at the waist

he worries more then he lets on and will enchant little objects and give them to you for protection when he isnt't around

NSFW

whether you are with him before or after his imprisonment, he is EXPERIENCED

he likes positions where he can be close to you such as missionary, but also likes you on top of him/riding him

SWITCH‼️

if you pull his hair or his horns he will immediately submit

he likes to use his size to his advantage and pin you down

really into biting and marking, esp after his imprisonment, he wants everyone to know your his

whether your human or an elf, he will overstimulate you

he can go for hours

i feel like he would prefer giving to receiving, he will eat you out or suck you off for HOURS until you are whimpering for him to slow down

if you have boobs, he will mark them and play with them there is no question

RIDE‼️‼️HIS‼️‼️‼️FACE‼️‼️‼️‼️

he is 1000% into wax play he can make his hands really hot or cold and the sight of u with wax slowly dripping down your chest makes him feral

wouldnt mind if you did the same to him 👀

i feel like he would be super into it if you rode his thigh, he would be mocking you the whole time but it would turn him on sm

"you couldn't wait at all, hmm? is your pretty little cunt/cock really so needy that you had to be this impatient? acting like a bitch in heat, covering my thigh with your slick. your going to have to clean up your mess dear~"

he gets pissed if he asks you a question and you dont respond

super into eye contact during sex, he thinks its very intimate and attractive

your pleasure ALWAYS comes first with him, he will make you come at least twice before coming on his own

i dont think he would be super into causing you a lot of pain, like i dont think he would want to hurt you alot but will pinch and occasionally slap if your into that

super into being in pain for himself though

edge him until hes sobbing, then overstim him until his thighs are shaking

GLORIOUS THIGH GAME BTW

cover them in marks, he will admire them later

overall a very attentive and sensual lover, but definitely has a dirty side<3

can you tell i have an obsession? lmao. i tried to make this super gender neutral, lmk if there are any mistakes! reqs are open, im considering getting into writing some more

[meetmyothersouls]

omg you're back, it's a Christmas miracle!!! honestly loooove your writing (even when sometimes I read at work and makes me all nervous and let's be honest, horny (?). im so bad asking for request so, take this as your black space and surprise us with whatever you want write about our timmy bc it's gonna be wonderful

Still filtering through all of my requests and inbox messages! So, I'm sorry I'm so late getting back to you! Thank you so much for your kind words <3 and it makes me feel like a true author to get that type of reaction out of my readers! I hope you're still around on my page to see this and I hope if you are, you enjoy this :)

Good Sex Demands to be Loud.

Warnings: some smut, language, not proof read

Timothee's hand had been resting on your knee, lightly squeezing and releasing under the dinner table all evening. Meanwhile, his knee maintained a steady and perpetual bounce, occasionally knocking the table’s underside. Timothee had little "tics" you learned to identify early on in your relationship. His hands shook ever so slightly when he was stressed or overwhelmed. He spun his rings around his long, slender fingers when he was fidgety with anxiety. He licked and lightly chewed his bottom lip when he was thinking of words to say. The leg bouncing was new. And you weren’t sure what it meant. Was he mad? Nervous? Was he high? No. His hands were usually in your pants minutes after he smoked…no matter where you were. This was a new one.

You leaned back in your chair and whispered in his ear. “You good?”

You felt him spin a ring on his index finger resting on your knee. Anxiety...and something else. “Why wouldn’t I be?” He whispered back, pressing a kiss to your temple. 

“You guys are so CUTE!” Florence said, a loud, British emphasis on the word cute.

The dinner table was filled with your friends and Timothee’s, for no real reason or special occasion. Everyone was in town--save a few friends--so everyone got together. Timothee usually loved outings like this. He was usually the loudest one in the room. That night he seemed...distracted. 

You waited until the attention from Florence’s comment died down and eyes had wandered elsewhere before you responded. 

“Your knee.”

Timothee pretended to listen to a story Saoirse was telling about the ways people mispronounced her name. You could tell he was pretending, because his eyes weren’t focused the way they usually were when he was engaged in a conversation. 

“Hmm?” He hummed in the form of a question, raising his eyebrows but not looking over at you. 

“Your knee,” you repeated and reached your hand over and pressed down on it. “You’ve been bouncing it all evening.” 

He looked at you then. “I have?”  “Yeah. What’s wrong?” 

He licked his lips, then pushed his top teeth down into the perfectly pink colored flesh. He looked around at everyone sitting at the table, making sure no one was looking over as he leaned in closer. The light scent of Chardonay fell from his mouth as he whispered, “I don’t really want to be here.” 

It would have alarmed you if it hadn’t of come out as a chuckled confession. 

“Really?” You asked. 

“Really.” His hand, still positioned on your knee, squeezed a little.

You were about to ask why when his hand traveled higher, leaving your knee and resting comfortably on your inner thigh. 

“If I’m being honest,” he began, making sure no one was listening. “I just really, really need-”

“Come. On. What are the two of you whispering about?” Pauline’s said a little too loudly. The restaurant quieted down for a moment, like a school cafeteria when someone drops their tray. 

“Someone’s had a little too much champagne,” Timothee said, once the restaurant resumed its normal volume. He reached over and grabbed her glass, poured it into his and took a big gulp. Pauline rolled her eyes. “But, if you must know...” he continued, his voice taking on the tone of one who is about to make an announcement. You had no idea what he was about to say. “I was just about to tell y/n how much I need to have sex with her.” 

The table was silent.

“Right now,” Timothee added.

More silence. Followed by an “EW!” from Pauline. 

“You asked,” Timothee said, shrugging. 

You couldn’t even be mad. You covered your mouth and part of your nose with your left hand and hid your laugh. There was a snort from Saoirse, trying her hardest not to laugh out loud, and a proud nod and thumbs up from Florence, who clearly supported the decision for the two of you to bone whenever the mood struck. 

 “So, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m gonna go have sex.” 

“God, if I hear my brother say, ‘have sex’ one more time I’m going to shove these skewers in my ears,” Pauline said as you grabbed your purse and shoved it over your shoulder. 

Timothee grabbed your hand and led you out of the restaurant, stopping as you made it out of the door. His hand slid across your cheek and into your hair, thumb resting on your jaw as he kissed you. A taxi was already waiting. The driver tapped on the horn once and waved the two of you in. 

“Sorry,” Timothee said, sliding into the cab, pulling you into his lap in the process. Timothee rapidly gave the driver the address, his hands sliding into the back of your pants, gripping your ass cheeks and pushing you against him. He looked into your eyes with a hunger you wondered how long he had been holding back that day. “Do these close?” He asked the driver, pointing to the privacy window that separated the front and back seats.  Without looking back, the driver shut the window and the taxi lurched forward into the New York City traffic. 

“I’ve been waiting all day to be alone with you,” Timothee said to you as he ground your hips into his. He wore a loose pair of black slacks, and your dress rode up and rested above your hips. You could feel the outline of his dick in his pants. “If we didn’t leave right then and there, I would have had to clear the table and fuck you in front of everyone.” 

“Some people would pay to see that,” you teased. 

“I’m sure a lot of people would pay to see that. No one knows what true perfection looks like, until they’ve seen you naked. I mean, look at these,” he said, slipping the thin straps of your dress down your shoulders. You pulled your arms out and let your forest green, silky dress flutter down, the fabric laying in a pile around your waist. Timothee grabbed your tits, one in each hand and squeezed them lightly before running his tongue across each mound. “Perfection,” he said and took a nipple into his mouth. 

The cab came to a stop and a couple horns blared in the distance. 

“Fuck, how much longer?” Timothee asked no one, impatiently. He slid the sleeve of his dress shirt up his arm to check his watch. 

“Just take me in this taxi,” you growled, rolling your hips against his. 

Timothee smirked before adjusting himself under you, sitting straighter in the back seat of the taxi. For a moment, you wondered how many other couples fucked in the back of New York taxis. 

“Can’t do that.”

“Why noooot?” You whined. “We’ve had sex in a taxi before. We’ll be quiet he won’t even know.” 

“That’s just the thing,” Timothee said, squeezing one of your nipples between his index finger and thumb. “Good sex demands to be loud.” He let go of your nipple just before it got to the point of pleasurable pain and ran his warm tongue up the side of your neck. He stopped once you got to your ear.

“And I’m going to make you scream.” 

Tags: @imnotoverlyobsessive @dayafied @soulofendlessbook @fashphotolife @chicchanelcigs @scentedkittenperfection @weasleytwinscumslut @timotheel0ver @mxciscastleintheair @marvelmaniac2000 @lovelyrocker @divine-1 @louievr @love-poems-only @starberry-cake @inlovewithphantasy @alexagirlie @misswestfall @softhecreator @livresjaunes @timmymyluv @inannamoon @harrys-thick-thighs @s-we-e-t-t-ea @timolaurence @its-schmackin-dude @justagirlwhoneedshelp

[usimp4women]

Okay hi! First I have to thank you for writing anything related to Lady Lesso! Honestly ppl are sooooo slow and im soooo obsessed and in love so THANK YOU, also i have requested this to another writer, but they kinda ignored it ir they r busy, sooo here i come to you!

I wanted to ask if you could write a oneshot, where at SGE (when it is the united-like its one school now) is ball for parents and their children and there's Lessos student (girl who will become vampire after graduation, she still has the basic magic that u can see in film-shining finger blahblahblah) and the girls parents didn't come.

(Don't know the reason, but I feel like no matter if you are an ever or never, you are just normal person and most of the time have normal family relationship? So it's kinda disappointing?

Like evers and nevers would be equaly appreciated, cuz both sides are important, evers r proud for making good etc, same nevers?)

And them there's dramatic entrance where we (the reader) come in ( we are that single rich aunt- and very powerful and respected vampire, who loves tea and has a cat) and we flirt with Lesso, dance or something like that? Or maybe Lesso makes first move? Not sure about that😁😁🥰

Also maybe some ever could hit on us, but like in disgusting way and we would scare them off and Lesso would find that hot?

(hiss maybe ? Turn our eyes red, bcs of our anger? Like u lnow strong emotion or hunger makes our eyes red?)

Here r some pics of vampire aesthetic and face claim that I had in mind (if you don't have time, then u obviously don't have to write it.) Have a nice day! Don't forget to drink and eat! And happy Halloween 🎃

PS: IF I have more ideas maybe we (mainly YOU) could make a series of oneshots ?

PS2: IF you could name her Nova i would loooooooove it, but feel free to use Y/N.

Your Attention.

Pairing; Lady Lesso (Dean of The School for Evil) X Reader

WordCount; 1144 words, 6730 characters.

Warnings; Slight NSFW?

Summary; Lady Lesso's hot 😫

Note; THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS I REALLY LOVE THE IDEA OF BEING A SINGLE, RICH AUNT 😍 Anyways, I think I've got the idea here, so hopefully it makes sense regarding your submission, also— the cat is insanely adorable! (It's not long but hopefully it'll do..) BY THE WAY HER WINK IN THE GIF AHSFUHWR BARK WOOF WOOF

+++++

You observed the ceremony in solitude within the shadows. Parents and their children could be seen gathering around the ballroom. Normally, you would've been somewhere else right now but oh— the loneliness, you couldn’t take that chance.

Besides, you’ve got a reputation to uphold so why not indulge yourself a little?

While taking in the scene, you fixated your attention on a particular girl lingering around in the corner. You've heard something about her before, a rumor that she'll transform into a vampire after completion of the course, and although she still possesses some basic supernatural abilities, she will indeed develop a flawless student for you to impart wisdom, considering your 'substantial immortal expertise.'

She was one without a parent beside her, you tilted your head in curiosity, beginning to feel more intrigued.

Your thoughts were shattered once you discovered your cat stroking its head against your leg, following a mild purr. "You want me to go out there, do you?" You murmured, while you shrug with a smile. Your cat simply agrees with nothing but a faint meow as you stretched out to stroke its neck.

So, you got down and arrived at the entrance. Seeing a few neatly arranged wine glasses around the doorway, you reached out to consider holding one with your free hand. At that moment, the entrance gates began opening automatically. You felt the time going in slow motion, You walked gradually with an amusing smirk on your face when you realized that everyone's attention was peering upon your grand figure.

Yes, now this is delightful.

With a glass of wine in your right hand, your fur flowed elegantly behind your frame. Your head held high in dignity. Swaying your hips graciously while you approached a specific girl in the distance as everyone shuffled aside to provide space.

The majority of them even lowered their heads when they realized it was you.

Oh, of course, the spotlight. As a superior, well-known, and respected immortal, being placed in the center of attention was always your personal favorite.

The girl was flabbergasted by your presence, Is she coming towards me? She thought.

“Why yes, dear. You can’t enjoy the night without a guardian by your side, can you?” You gleamed amusingly at the girl; her glance was welcoming and enthusiastic; it may have been your proudest moment throughout the day.

You could still detect people staring at your physique, thus you spun around, "Nothing to see here," whilst arching an eyebrow.

Almost instantly, they promptly diverted their focus away from you. However, you can still feel someone gaze at the back of your head whilst you proceeded to continue conversating with the girl, which frustrates you significantly. All your intentions here were just to utterly comfort the poor thing and, if there was any, to offer her some complimentary tea.

Eventually, you sensed a presence beside you, hence you shifted your head to see a woman who had a somewhat intense amount of make-up on her face. You reluctantly bit your lip against your teeth to prevent yourself from almost laughing uncontrollably.

“Hey, you must be Nova, right? Do you mind if I borrow you for a moment? I've had my eyes on you ever since you came here." The woman giggled confidently while twirling a stroke of her hair.

You cocked your head, very innovative, "You must truly have some nerve inside you to ask me personally."

The woman replies, extending her hand to stroke your arms with her fingers, "Well, obviously I got some faith in myself."

You shoved her hand away in disgust, Your eyes glowing scarlet from arising anger. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

Her eyes were enlarging in dread, then you snarled ominously and displayed your fangs to insist her to stay out of your sight. She shrieked in response out of pure terror and hastily grabbed her regal gown to flee. Unfortunately, her garment was so cumbersome that she struggled and stumbled as she sprinted.

You and the girl laughingly mocked the woman, “You do this often?”

She raises an eyebrow in your direction while engagingly grinning. You winked, raising the wine glass to your lips with a smirk, "It makes my day more entertaining."

You proceeded to converse with the girl until you came across the sound of heels clicking against the floor. Oh, I wonder who it is... Her presence and aura seems formidable and overpowering.

You spun your head to gaze upon a woman with oh my god– The coat, the suit, the dangling chains on her midsection, her rings, her cane, and her curly, ginger hair. Everything about her was definitely captivating.

It was almost as though a goddess appeared before your eyes. Your posture nearly collapsed out from beneath you while your eyes began to flicker abnormally, but you quickly picked up reality. "Well, well... Look who's finally come to the show." She spoke in a rich, enticing tone.

"For a woman like you, you surely are capable of handling a complicated situation." She stood before you, setting her palm on your jawline and raising it up to meet her eye-level using her finger; you felt your breath hitch at the interaction.

Nonetheless, you maintain your composure as you glimpse into her amethyst eyes. "Now, how would you like it if you were to dance with me?" The redhead grinned haughtily at your stature.

You responded with a head inclination, "I would love to." Was she challenging you?

As you approach In the middle of the ballroom, she then guides you to the main stage. She positioned her hand on your waist practically immediately when you were there, ushering you to sway seductively with her body.

You angled your attention towards the girl you were previously with, poor thing had to witness the scene in the front seat. But she didn't even bother stopping you both though; all you could see was her shrug and a wide grin.

You then redirected your concentration to the redhead once again. You both swung your hips back and forth.

Your body was tenderly pressed against hers as her fingertips traveled from your waist to your upper chest, swaying alongside you as they performed so. Your muscles tensed up as you felt her front in contact with your back. Consequently, you closed your eyes and buried your head where her neck and shoulders unite.

She twisted your figure around enough to confront her as the music stopped. She looked down into your eyes with domineering intensity whilst you bore her stare in defiance.

“Oh, you…”

A few inches from your lips, she begins to lean in your favor. A brief lick of her lips gave you the impression as she was preferring to focus her stare on your neck. She subsequently tilted her head slightly and smirked knowingly, drawing your attention to her.

“Why don’t we continue this somewhere else?”

[pigeoninabowl]

REASONS (haha reference) WHY I SIMP FOR RARO

Below cut if you want to see me go bananas

1. He's a boyfailiure

2.This also makes him pathetic

3. Kicks the homeless 😍😍🥴🥴 /j

4.no one likes him (me fr fr)

5.so fucking relatable this dude

6.High (haha get it? Bc he's a stoner) chance of being a single dad

7. Has a piercing, revealed by Ya No Se Que Hacer Conmigo (zoo wee mama)

8. Has a tattoo, revealed by Ya No Se Que Hacer Conmigo (zoo wee mama x2)

9. I like his glasses

10. i think he's kind of cute for some reason

11. them big ol' black eyes

12. dilf /hj

13. washed up

14. W rizz, in Yendo A La Casa De Damian a group of girls and a gay guy flirted with him so yeah, im not alone with the raro simpery BITCH @edgingattheedgeofauniverse

15. i feel like this is a weird thing to point but i like his body physique?

16. Probably makes fire food (or just fire since he has a high chance of being an arsonist)

17. I like his shirt!! Cool fashion sense!

18. ten inch dick.

19. Wow wtf was number 18

20. Anyways, free drug supplier

21. He likes going to karaoke!!! And grooming his students i guess /j

22. mmm veiny handnghfnfhfnf

23. I like men

24. I like raro

25. His name is unique, his last name is terrible, average canarian experience is the opposite tho so its ok👍 (guanamara torres if i see you ever again i swear)

26. He planted coffee in Nicaragua??? Wow!!! He's such a role model!! He cares about planet earth!!!! 😁😁😁

27. He went to therapy once, at least he tried

28. He lives in a place where everyone constantly beats the shit out of eachother, bonus points for survival

29. He gave children hederitary alzheimer, what a chad

30. He comes from the greatest fucking album of all time, need i say more? *Smug face*

31. he knows how to play the piano!!! That means he has a special ability with fingers...

32. Number 31 was so normal until the fingers part. Wtf.

33. He knows about mithology , hot

34. he has nice male knockers

35. What the fuck is going on,???? Wdym "male knockers"??? Can you please stop sexualizing raro?

36. Okay my bad, anyways, i can fix him type of guy

37. Has facial hair, i like facial hair most of times

38. was an accident (so me fr fr)

39. likes led-zeppeling and stuff (this would actually be a red flag if he was a FAN of LZ but thank bora he is not)

40. Middle aged, need i say more? *Smug face*

Okay this is the end of my rant, you can go home now

Me when raro

[scripturiends]

i know one of the biggest complaints about house of anubis was its writing but if you step back and really consider the sitcoms that were airing at the same time on nickelodeon then it’s actually stellar in comparison. one thing that really set it apart was that it was serialized and not episodic so you had to be really cohesive with the main plot whilst being able to keep ur younger audiences hooked with high school hijinks,, which was comparatively less intense with the d*n schn*ider shows but was just as impactful?? and it did so without resorting to constant physical comedy.

just as a sidebar so far on twitter the biggest criticism ive seen of the show was that it was boring but that makes sense if you’re watching an episode that was meant to be the continuation of all the other ones that you may not have seen bc it was the time of cable. streaming was still sorta a foreign concept in 2011-2013. so that was one of its weaknesses back when it was airing but i think actually as time passed by it has now become one of its strongest points because house of anubis is incredibly rewatchable. you can watch it over and over again and discover something new about the plot, the characters, even the random things happening in the background.

anyway back to the writing, one of the reasons i love the dialogue in the show is because of how witty it actually is like im sorry it’s actually so hard to find the balance of sounding sharp without being pretentious and being funny without being too childish and using big words while still effectively portraying what it’s like to be in high school. that’s in the writing, that’s in the delivery – there have been questionable acting moments for sure but the cast were definitely giving it their all.

and this was something i articulated to my friends as a commentary but i seriously love how they wrote the girls on the show. because yes nina and joy were in that love triangle but nina never plotted to hurt joy because of it and when it mattered the most, joy was there to help nina out with all the chosen one stuff. and when willow and mara found out jerome was dating the both of them, willow asked mara if she hated her and she said no. which, if you were 13 at the time would have been so crazy to think about because normally the portrayal of girls is being at each other’s throats, trying to win the guy back, one-upping each other to find out who loves who more. joy did mara dirty during the journalism arc but she straight up said “i will not accept joy slander”. kt always reassured patricia that she wasn’t interested in eddie and even helped them get back together. amber was a girl’s girl the whole show – when she was unhappy with joy it was because she wanted to protect nina. when joy lashed out at willow, she felt bad and apologized. i could go on and on about all the times the women of anubis house had each others’ backs like they would fight but at the end of the day they love each other and would protect each other. just like joy said, whatever fight they would have, it’ll be ancient history by lunchtime.

i think the same goes for the guys as well? the guys don’t fit squarely into just one stereotype. like yes fabian is the ‘nerd’ but he barely went to class. he was smart in the things he was interested in – if anyone cared the most about the school it was mara. jerome was the ‘prankster’ but they did a deep dive into his family in season 2 and we even got to see him at his most lovable when he’s fallen in love with joy. eddie is supposed to be the ‘bad boy’ but in the entirety of season 2 he made me swoon with the way he kept encouraging patricia to lower her walls and talk about her feelings. he was pretty vocal about how he would like to be cared for, and genuinely gets upset when patricia wouldn’t listen. he’s an honest and sweet friend to everyone too.

anyway im sorry i couldn’t do one for everyone but you get what i mean. everyone was nuanced in a way that i think was so advanced for network standards like i really believe nickelodeon didn’t deserve a show as good as anubis but also at the same time im not sure it would be as good had nickelodeon not picked it up and gave it the number of episodes that it did. it’s kind of like how i feel about many of the decisions in the show – nina leaving without a proper explanation, the nina/joy/fabian love triangle, mick and amber’s departures, the way they approached the jerome/mara/willow/joy arc in s3 – i hate it but i also love it. it’s my favorite thing but also my most despised thing. i can’t stand watching it but i can’t get enough.

house of anubis is flawed in the way anubis house and the kids living in it are. they do the most awful things but they are so in need of nurturing. they’re immature but also the most mature people on the show. just a collection of oxymorons that created the masterpiece that it’s always been but also the masterpiece that it’s now just becoming.

[mamawasatesttube]

YJ all living in the same dorm/frat house in college would be amazing. What do you think everyone’s majors/clubs/athletics would be?

assuming this is still like... main universe-adjacent and they all still have powers etc. yknow i think cassie has a giant existential crisis because she doesn't know what she's gonna do with her life other than be wonder girl and that will NOT fly with her mom bc helena absolutely wants her to have a normal life as much as she can. late-night conversations at the kitchen counter where she confides that she has no idea what she wants to do and helena sits with her and tells her she has time but she does expect her to go to college and do something, even if she doesn't have to have it all figured out right yet. all of this to say i think cassie goes in undeclared. also i think she should be on the volleyball team.

tim in college is smth i was actually talking abt with moss and britta just the other day. he of course is an insane engineering major who skateboards to class with a naruto-themed energy drink in hand only to fall asleep there 14 minutes into the lecture. also he's wearing a blazer and formal shorts bc he's like I Am Getting A Good Grade In Presentable Student :) and theres just something wrong with him. he has to join an engineering student study group bc its the only thing that actually gets him to bother doing his homework even if hes a whiz at the actual content. hes a disaster but he cant drop out he wants to hang with his besties plus lucius was like listen you can work at WE r&d and tinker with shit to your heart's desire but you do need at least a bachelor's of mechanical engineering to do that even if i know you know your stuff. and tim was like well i guess that's fair :/ hey squad i can sugar daddy us an apartment near met u lets all get an education

kon... well i think he also has a crisis (see also: sotm) but eventually i do like him going into teaching or stuff with kids in general. im always bouncing btwn him being a childrens librarian or a high school biology teacher. he WILL tell all these kids about star trek or so help him god. i feel like he wouldn't really go for most athletics bc he'd be too worried about making sure he doesn't excel too unnaturally BUT just for me, i think he and bart should join the ballroom dance team together. i think they would have so much fun doing jive in particular

as for bart. well the thing about bart is that he could literally do anything he wants to? the real question is what subject would hold his attention consistently over several years. i think the answer is either computer science or theoretical physics. possibly both i think he might double major. he's also terrible at remembering to do his homework etc but he flies through it when he bothers to. and he and kon join the ballroom team together :)!!!