#so i wanted to share in my nerdy joy

[onyourstageleft]

take a computer science education alignment quiz (courtesy of one of my summer classes) and tell me which of these core values for teaching computer science you got

CS Visions Quiz

I thought about trying to make this a three poll post because it gives you your top three core values but realistically I need to go to bed so if you do end up taking the quiz, feel free to vote for which one out of your top three results you Most align with here and then tell me in the replies what your top three were

[lordsovorn]

Strange how people keep saying that "Shuro hates in Laios the same traits he supposedly loves in Falin", which is...

Seriously, look at him and his dialogue - does he hate Laios for being a monster freak? For being nerdy and weird and loving nature? For eating bugs? No, that's not it.

Shuro hates* Laios for being so profoundly socially inept (from his perspective).

The key difference between Touden siblings isn't that Falin is a pretty girl - the key difference is that Falin is caring and accommodating to other people, and Laios is awkward and unobservant, seemingly egotistic at the surface level.

(others have already written wonderful essays on why and how they grew up like that)

It has to be noted that Shuro is a sheltered noble from a land where proper etiquette is paramount - he is used to people being incredibly subtle AND incredibly observant around him. He comes from a high-context culture where everyone assumes things based on lots of social cues and shared understanding of context. That's not even a matter of being neurotypical, that's his culture (in addition to his personality and brain chemistry)

He is also rather introverted as person and doesn't have many friends. Even his attachments and emotions in childhood are expressed subtly, in a restrained and proper way. He is polite and refined, perfectly fitting into his house's expectations - even if that means repressing his childhood interests and little weird joys.

In that particular way, the opposite of Laios.

Shuro hates* Laios for being the opposite of the image HE was grown into. This strange man is so utterly insensitive and so open about it - he has no sense of shame (like Shuro), no tact and ability to shut up (like Shuro), no restraint (like Shuro). Look at him talking non-stop about things he wants to talk about and having fun (unlike Shuro) while completely overestepping Shuro's obvious boundaries!

The boundaries, I must say, that not only never before needed to be spelled out, but in Shuro's upbringing and culture would be as ridiculous to spell out as "I want to pee, so I'll go to the bathroom and remove my pants and sit on the toilet and release the sphincter holding my pee in my pee bladder"

Falin is not only awesome in his eyes for being weird and in touch with nature, but for being very delicate, observant and caring AT THE SAME TIME. She is a gem in Shuro's eyes, a miracle of his dreams.

In Falin, he not only sees a nerd-freak - he sees a hope for an introverted, polite, restrained person like himself to reconnect with that love for nature and nerdiness and freakiness.

Laios isn't like that. Laios is unobservant for subtle cues - and so a lot more loud, persistent, enthusiastic and unwittingly annoying. Yes, Falin has all that inside her too - but she restrains herself in order not to be a burden. And so does Shuro, in order to fit expectations. There's similarity between them in that regard, between two introverted and restrained weirdos. And a hope for a kindred, more open soul, from the more restrained Shuro's perspective.

* - I don't think Shuro's feelings to Laios are properly described as hate. Yeah, in his darkest moment he says that, but honestly it felt more like an accumulated stress from a continuous cultural and personal misunderstanding, rather than a profound personal hate.

...

What was the post about?.. Oh, yeah, Shuro loving Falin and disliking Laios. That's not him being too horny to think, that's him loving in Falin the defining difference between the two - they aren't gender-swapped clones, after all. Give my boy some respect and nuance.

[alexander-arcturus-black-lupin]

Spencer's home

Spencer finally comes home

It's fluffy but it turns smutty (idek if i posted this alr but 🤷🏾‍♀️what can a girl do when she's going to school in 2 days

When Spencer Reid arrived home from his work trip, Y/N was waiting eagerly. As soon as he entered the apartment, she jumped up and wrapped her arms around him, beaming with joy. 

She had missed him so much and wanted to spend time with him. After catching up and discussing his trip, they decided to spend the night cuddling and after dinner. 

Y/N had always been fascinated by Spencer’s intellect, and she loved the way his mind worked. She loved the feeling of being able to have conversations with him that were so deep and meaningful. 

As they snuggled up on the couch, Spencer ran his fingers through Y/N's hair as they talked about the world and their lives. They talked about their dreams and their future, and Spencer made Y/N feel like anything was possible. They shared a few kisses which turned into more than just that. 

Y/N knew it was time to go to sleep. She looked over at Spencer and smiled, feeling so grateful that they had each other. As she drifted off to sleep, smiled at nerdy boyfriend.

After a week, Spencer finally came home; he was with his team on a manhunt for a sociopathic criminal. But you didn’t care, all that you cared about was that he was home. He came around 6 surprising you with a bouquet of flowers. He showered and had dinner with you, before you both went to bed. 

He was fast asleep. Spencer was adorable when he slept. His eyes would flutter ever so slightly, his lips would pout and he was extremely clingy holding onto you throughout the night. It was one of the inadvertently cute things he did that made you fall harder.

She noticed the light bags under his eyes. How his grip on her wasn't as tight. Y/N felt a piece of her heart break for Spencer as she looked at him. She missed him, her heart missed him and so did her body.

She moved closer to him and gently caressed his cheek. His skin felt so smooth and inviting. She would let him sleep, he needed it. 

She turned away from him and snuggled closer. But that didn't sate the burning between her legs. She tried to press both her legs together but that didn't work. 

Spencer slowly woke up, the first thing he noticed was the beautiful shape of the woman he was holding. Two, there was something wrong with the woman he was holding. 

"Y/n baby what's wrong," 

“Nothing Spence just bad dreams”

Spencer truly was tired from his job but he was able to pick up your lie. He knew you were lying. “Baby have you slept and don’t lie to me you’re a terrible liar?” you stay silent. Spencer kneels over you and turns you to look at him.

“Are you mad at me, did I-”  you sit up and cradle his face in your hands.

“Spencer no, nothing is your fault,” you leaned in and kissed him deeply, feeling a spark of electricity between them. Spencer reacted with a passionate kiss of his own.

“Then what’s wrong, are you uncomfortable?”

“No, I’m horny” Spencer’s eyebrows raised in shock, a smile tugged at his lips.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you’re tired Spence, I doubt you’ve had a proper meal before today, the bags under your eyes, how you basically slouched into bed.” you shake your head. “I love you Spencer, and just as how you put me before you, I put you before me.”

Spencer smiled, he leaned in and kissed you, his left hand slipping from your cheek gripping the back of your neck. 

“You are my wife, it is my job to sate your every need,” Spencer’s other hand pulled your pyjama bottoms off in one fell swoop. 

Y/N gasped as Spencer’s fingers plunged right into you with no warning. 

“Look how wet you are, all for me,” Spencer slipped out and twisted your nub. “And only me” 

His touch felt like a searing flame, setting your body on fire. His hands worked their way down your curves, igniting a spark of pleasure in her. She moaned in pleasure as his hands moved lower, caressing her thighs and hips in a slow, sensuous rhythm.

Spencer moved forward, his body pressing against hers. She could feel his hardness against her and her breath caught in her throat. Spencer moved his lips against hers, his tongue exploring her mouth in a passionate kiss.

Y/N moaned in pleasure as Spencer's fingers drove her mad. His touch was gentle and teasing, sending waves of pleasure through her body. She moaned as she felt herself clench around him.

“Fuck, I can feel you coming,” As the waves of pleasure intensified, Y/N let out a loud moan that echoed throughout the room as she came apart. But Spencer wasn’t done. Oh no not in the slightest.

He kissed you hard as he undoes his pants. “I missed you y/n, I missed being inside you” and with that he aligns himself, he enters you slowly filling you up immediately. 

“Mmhm, i missed this,” His pace increases sending all thoughts out the window.

“Spencer”

“Yes, oh fuck…”

“Faster…”

And the faster he went, he always made you cum first and now was no different. Spencer leans down and leaves hickeys down your throat. He takes a nipple in his mouth and bites down.

“Fuck,” an invisible coil that had been tightening up immediately springs out. Spencer kisses me swallowing my screams. As the pleasure began to subside, Y/N and Spencer lay together, panting in exhaustion. She felt completely content in his embrace, her body still quivering from the intense pleasure.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't ever lie about your needs to me, if you ever just wanna ride me till sunrise, tell me okay?"

"Yeah okay," She paused. "Spencer?"

"Yeah,"

"I wanna ride you till sunrise," she felt him chuckle against her neck sending hairs rising.

"Your wish is my command," Spencer flipped us over, placing me on top. "Tell me in detail what you what sunshine"

"I-i" Spencer sat up and kissed her, his hands beneath him. 

"Words sunshine, use your words," Spencer moved down her throat. "Although your moans are beautiful," 

"I- I want you to uhm, do what you're doing earlier," Spencer chuckled. 

"Whic part?"

"The kissing and um thumbing around here," she gestured around her chest. Spencer smirked. 

"What else?"

"Um I want you to um use your fingers, down there," Spencer nodded slowly rubbing her hips with his fingers. 

"Is that it?"

"Mhmm," 

Spencer leaned in and kissed her sending her brain spiralling, he kissed down her neck as his other hand made its way down.

"Goodnight baby."

" 'night Spence love you to the ends of the universe."

"I love you to the ends of the universe AND back."

"You're such a dork."

"Your dork. The one you love, and married." he says casually flaunting his ring. You giggle.

"Yea my Dork."

[ahmoseinarus]

Why I'm not okay with Vax'leth...

okay, hear me out before you come for me, "their love was used to break the world"ers, cuz I'm seriously not trying to start a fight... First and foremost... this is only my opinion. And my opinion has absolutely no bearing on your thoughts, views, opinions, or what is canon. The Eight Nerdy-Ass Voice Actors have spoken: Vax'leth is canon, end of story. And I'm certainly not going to say Vax'leth shippers are wrong, or stupid, blah blah blah... hell no. That is not my place, nor my right (well, legally it is my right, but my personal morals and feelings on the matter say that it's a dick move, so). I don't care who you ship (as long as it ain't pedophilia). That's the beauty of fandoms. We can all have our thoughts, ideas, opinions, and somewhere, find someone of like mind to share them with. Second, yes. I ship Perc'ildan... But I also ship Vax'more. Hell, when I was watching Campaign 1, Vax gave Percy a big ol' smooch on the cheek, Liam said "Percy and Vax, people! Ship it!" I said "O, captain, my captain!" and never looked back. But otherwise, there wasn't much else in canon to go off of. Not like there was with Vax & Gilmore. Very quickly, the chemistry there blew me away, I was shipping them so damn fast, and I had so much hope for them! But then... "You know I'm in love with you, right?"

💔 ... that single, Iconic moment that kicked off the Vax'leth joy for nearly a decade for so many, was a moment of shattered hopes and heartbreak for me. And it came out nowhere! I was not expecting it! I knew people were shipping them (I was not in online communities yet, I got into the fandom very late, they were between C2 & C3 when I started watching C1) but I didn't know how the campaign ended, I didn't know if anyone ended up together... I had not recognized any interest between those two characters except for one brief moment, when Vax went unconscious in the fight with the Briarwoods in Emon... He pictured his mother, his sister... and Keyleth. And I thought "oh god, please don't go there." And for a couple more eps, it seemed okay, but then he dropped that line...

"You know I'm in love with you, right?"

... fuck.

Part of me wanted to stop watching. But that was silly and childish. And holy shit, the Briarwood Arc. I think I paused, though, and stared at the ceiling and had a silent mental tantrum. Later, watching him pseudo-break up with Gilmore from their pseudo-thing that was never really official to begin with, because of what looked unrequited love, left me feeling nauseous. And... it never got better. Nothing about Vax and Keyleth ever felt right.

Now, I wasn't particularly happy about Perc'ahlia either, but... I was okay with it. I mean, damn, Laura and Tal played it well, Vex & Percy had the chemistry... They came together, they said "yes, you are what I want", and "Lady in the streets, tiger in the sheets" Vex said "Great, let's fucking go," grabbed Percy by the short & curlies and has been dragging him around, plucking his flower ever since, and making him a very, very happy man. But I digress. No, Vax'leth just never felt right. The chemistry wasn't there. They always seemed just a bit out of synch, never quite in harmony with each other... I know the arguments have been made before. Keyleth and Vax felt forced; yeah, they really did. They were awkward; yeah, I mean, Keyleth was already socially awkward, Marisha played that brilliantly, but this was... more. Vax carried everything; yyyyeah, he did. He seemed desperate to make it work. Sure. I saw all of that. Every single one of "their moments" was so incredibly uncomfortable for me to watch, it was almost unbearable... There were a couple of times when I physically squirmed in response. But... why? I didn't have this response to Percy & Vex... I see Perc'ahlia fanart online, I've even read a couple of Perc'ahlia fics... but Vax'leth? I actively avoid it... I've never read anything that might include it... I block the tag on every platform, because stumbling across fanart with them in any... intimate position just brings a visceral cringe reaction from me... ... But... I'm fine with Percy/Grog. Or Percy/Tary. Or Vax/Grog. I've read a Vex/Percy/Grog. I'm down with Vex/Zahra/Kash... Vex/Percy/Zahra. o.o I've read Polymachina where it's "hm... whose bed am I sleeping in tonight?" And that's where I figured it out... because whenever characters started getting mix-matched up together, occasionally I'd find myself skipping stuff, just "oof, no, not interested in giving that paring/threesome/grouping a chance..." And I finally realized it all had the same thing in common. It was Keyleth herself. And between that, and watching C3, I started to realize something. Or recognize something. There was something about Keyleth that was resonating with me. There was something about her, that I was relating to. And once I figured it out, I couldn't believe it had taken me so long to see it. Keyleth full on fucking screams Aromantic Asexual so hard!

And she doesn't even know it herself!!!

This is an incredible woman of strength, power, wisdom and compassion. She is one of the leading figures in the entire world. Her life has been nothing but a journey of seeking knowledge, and power, and self-control, and wisdom and leadership. She has had incredible burdens and responsibilities heaped upon her shoulders since she was just a girl. Her Aramente was supposed to be about finding herself, yes, but that's also what the journey of life is. I realized that the reason that Vax'leth made me so uncomfortable, was because I recognized what I was seeing. I was watching Keyleth, who had no understanding of herself, and who had not yet had the time to explore and figure herself out, being confronted with someone that she cared about, expressing feelings for her, and she was going through the motions of trying to to respond. She was just doing what she thought she was supposed to do, playing the part she was supposed to play, and even wanted to play, because this! This is what people do! This is part of what everyone gets to have! Something that is normal, but special, and just for her, in this otherwise insane, overwhelming chaos that is the rest of her life, with the world crashing down around her... "This is what I'm supposed to do! I care for this person, he cares for me, he loves me, so I'm supposed to fall in love with him! That's what's happening! I'm supposed to do this! This is what I'm supposed to say! Is this what it's supposed to feel like when we hold hands? I'm probably just nervous and overreacting. This is what we're supposed to do. Yes, we're supposed to kiss. I'm supposed to like it. Yes, act like I like it, tell him I like it, tell myself I like it, this is what I want because I care about him, and this is what you do when you care about someone!"

At some point, you start to question. "... is it... really supposed to fee like this? Is this really what I want? Is this really love? Or... OMG have I just been playing along because I'm trying to conform to the expectations of society... and myself?!" It's confusing... because you genuinely do want it!!! Until you realize... that you don't. And then you're just confused. And trying to figure out why. Maybe you weren't really in love? Maybe you didn't really want it with this person? Or... did you ever really want it at all?

Let me tell you, some of the best smut fanfiction is written by asexuals, in case you didn't know that. There is a big difference between loving sex, and loving the idea of sex. Or loving romance, and wanting to have your own. There are so many written works of love and romance and erotic, explicit sex, being written by people who can't get enough of reading and writing it... but have no interest in having that themselves... But I'm sure quite a few of us went through the motions in our youth, of dating, kissing, or even a bit more, before we realized OMG no, keep it out of my reality and in fiction, please. Keyleth never had the fucking chance. Perhaps in their year off between the Conclave and the final Arc she started to wonder and question... I think at some point, maybe on a Talks Machina, Liam did say that Vax and Keyleth's relationship was mostly asexual. But then, of course... Vax was gone.

I wonder if he knew, on some level... Especially after his deal with the Matron. That as much as she loved him, it was not as much as she thought she did. Or, if I may, even as much as Marisha loved Vax. Maybe Keyleth has figured herself out by now... maybe she hasn't... In Dalen's Closet, she asked the Champion how she is supposed to get over him if he keeps sending her Ravens. But I can't help wondering if she isn't clinging to Vax's memory, in part, because as long as she is still grieving him, it gives her an excuse to not move on. If she hasn't moved on, and isn't moving forward in a state where someone might be trying to catch her eye, she won't have to deal with that self-reflection, and start to question if what she had with him was ever real to begin with, or just another lie she was telling herself. I have to wonder if she is ready to see and accept that part of herself. It takes a lot of time. I was in my mid thirties by the time I realized I was on the asexual spectrum. And nearly 40 when I realized I was aromantic. And now, looking at Keyleth as an Aromantic Asexual, everything just seemed to slot into place, and make sense for her, and everything that bugged me about her suddenly... doesn't anymore. I've always enjoyed Keyleth's character, outside of Vax'leth. But I'm curious, if I go back and rewatch C1 now, with this perspective, while I will certainly never like it, and will certainly never ship it... I wonder if I can at least find some peace in it. But, for those of you who think I'm stark raving mad, that Zephrah is for lovers, and the Raven & the Tempest is the love story for the ages, well... You've waited a long time for LoVM Season 3! Enjoy and savor every Vax'leth moment you get!!! But I will respectfully be filtering them out, and shall let you have your moments of triumph and delight in peace.

💖Fandom is for Shippers (Canon Compliance not required) -Responses are fine, I just ask that you bear in mind all I have put forth is my opinion, and nothing more, and I have tried to do so in a manner that is respectful to those that I know will likely not share my opinion. Should someone feel the need to come back at me with considerably less respect than I have shown, well... then in the words of one Pike Trickfoot in LoVM S1 E01... "Easy Grog... we don't waste our time on talking assholes, remember?"

[without-you-i-was-adrift]

Fuck i love life is strange so so much and it hurts my soul to read all the rant about the new (and some old) games.

I get it, it really hurts to get new info about our beloved characters that does not fit the narrative we might have created over the years.

Personally i think, that most of it is really thought through and well fitting - but i dont want to start arguing here. I respect it, if you don't love the decisions, that were made.

But I really wanna see some love for the game - besides the whole Chloe-controversy. They did so much right. Max is feeling like Max. We have queerness, artsy and nerdy characters, emotional moments, struggles with family and friends, good music, beautiful visuals... Everything that made Life is Strange a fucking great game is there. And we've got trans* representation and mental health awareness and police criticism! I love it!

Also they did give us so many little moments relating to the original game. The Firewalk posters? Graffiti in Chloes style? The Two Whales photos? The blue butterfly on the tarot card? And ofcourse the polaroid-wall with photos of Chloe and all the flashbacks Max has.

I am so so happy about the games. And I'd love to see more shared joy about the game. Even though a lot of you don't agree with the decisionmaking around Chloe and it hurts (understandably!) and we all wish it would be different - there really are other aspects that are fucking great.

[chiiyuuvv]

xikers as descendants tropes!

descendants!xikers x fem!reader 1.3k words requested!

▸ 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺?

Mal and Ben’s dynamic has been pretty cute over the first two movies. The constant “I can’t do it” , “Yes you can, I'm right here with you.” personally warms my heart to see the level of assurance and comfort that takes place between the two characters.

If Minjae fitted into Mal’s character, he would definitely need a bit (a lot) of reassurance, and that's okay! He could be stressed out about producing or school, and your kind words would make the time go by a little faster. One thing I noticed is that Mal is trying to live up to her parents' expectations, so I could see the same with Minjae and his parents. Maybe they wanted him to go the typical doctor route, but he knows deep down that he loves producing. Being there with him and helping along the way, showing, telling him that he is his own person and that he should find his own light will definitely make him shed a tear. Of joy, of course.

If Hunter fitted into Ben's character, I can definitely see all the sweet gestures and words he would give you. Sure, you may have argued the previous day, but Hunter would do everything in his power to break the ice, and talk to you about it – resolve the situation. The amount of pet names he would give you would make your head spin because he truly wants you to know how special you are and how much you mean to him. He definitely is your prince charming.

Evie and Doug over the first two movies have been super cute, but not that much action should I say? Compared to Mal and Ben, their storyline hasn't been as clear. One minute they're sharing glances, then the next minute they're talking as friends/classmates? I think Disney could have done a better job at connecting everything (this is based off of the first two movies btw) but, this is obviously love at first sight, and he fell first, yet she fell harder 🤭

If Junmin fitted into Doug's character, I could definitely see him play the more nerdy role. Junmin knows a few things and despite the stereotypes given to Evie (or to you), he'd be more than willing to help you out.. study together.. indirectly asking for your number/a date. This is so junmin. He would be a little shy at first because of his newfound feelings, but once you get closer and he gets to know you more, he'd be a little flirty, touchy, smiley.. are you picking up what I'm putting down?

If Hyunwoo fitted into Evie's character, I feel like hyunwoo would have this desire to kind of fit in, but through Doug (or you again), he would learn to be more of himself. I don't really know what I'm saying for this one, but hyunwoo would feel more like himself whenever he's with you. He'd be a little oblivious to your liking towards him, but once you start talking more and befriend each other, he'd kind of get slapped with that feeling, and fall even harder than before. 

Again, Disney didn't really do a good job connecting everything when it comes to Jay and Lonnie. There were some things that didn't make as much sense.. but I'm still going to write about them 🫡 In the second movie, Lonnie says wordlessly that girls can do the same things as boys, and in the few scenes, they showcase how astonish yet proud Jay is to see her go. In the end, Jay gives away his captain role so Lonnie could still play with them, without breaking the rules.

If sumin fitted into Jay's character, which I can definitely see btw, he’d almost be like a frat boy; insanely good looks and he’s good at sports too?? The girls are drooling over him. And sumin acknowledges that, yet he doesn't decide to hook up with a random girl (he prob did but this is a kids movie for god's sake) because he shows respect to them. He’d, again, be shocked to see a girl that’s so courageous like you, and that would give his heart a little ping. Who knows, he might even invite you to the school dance ;)

If Junghoon fitted into Lonnie’s character, I think he would fall for someone who allows him to be himself (?) Like since Lonnie issn’t the traditional girl and Jay didn’t try to do anything to interfere with that, you know? He thinks to himself, “wow.. I’m able to be my complete self around her,” and he’d definitely showcase that in your presence. And if you return the energy? He’s jumping off the walls on the inside, but giving a small smile to hide his happiness. 

I remember watching Descendants 2 when I was little and grinning whenever Jane and Carlos came on the screen. Their love life is honestly what I daydream about, and I’m not jealous obviously. Carlos spends his time on the movie pining for Jane, but is too nervous to tell her about it. He does confess to Jane, but it’s through this ramble confession that makes my heart flutter :((

If jinsik fitted into Jane’s character, he’d be a little (very) oblivious to your feelings. Like you want to go out for coffee because you like being around him? He’d think it's some kind of compliment or maybe because you want to get some homework done or something. So he does accidentally put you into the friend zone which you desperately want to escape, but he probably  won’t realize his feelings unless you confess to him and basically put him on the spot. Because this feeling is so sudden, he would want to start everything slow, just so he can adjust to it all. 

If yechan fitted into Carlos’s character, which I can definitely see btw pt. 2, he would use his more silly and whimsical side to get your attention, and to get some laughter bubbling out of you. When he starts to get all fuzzy while hearing your laughter, he knows he’s fallen deep, and things start to get a little awkward. Maybe that’s why you accidentally friend zone him? But just know that he’s been practicing his confession on his friends (they all hate it), and he feels prepared.. He just needs to find the right moment ;) pt. 2

For the third time, Disney doesn’t do a good job at explaining Uma and Harry’s ship, so this is all based on something I found on the internet. Uma and Harry’s dynamic is more like teasing your best friend, but knowing that they will always have your back and vice versa. They also have more perks, like giving away something that means a lot to them to the other. (*cough cough* Harry giving uma his hook) They are very silly around each other but know when to get serious!

If seeun fitted into Harry’s character, he’d definitely be your personal trickster, only giving you sly smiles whenever he gets caught. You also have lots of childhood memories that you both adore, sometimes spending your shared time giggling under your pillow fort together. Not only that, but seeun is also your personal bodyguard. You don’t like how someone looks at you? He’d do everything in his power to separate the both of you, and if the person gets mad, he is there to take any hits. He is very loyal to his bestie. Heck, he’d even take your side when he knows that you’re in the wrong.

If yujun fitted into Uma’s character, he would be a little more assertive through your teachings, and loyal as a dog to you. You were most likely childhood besties, so you’d always have a special place in his heart. If you were to give him something that meant a lot to you, he’d honestly get a little teary eyed, because it shows that he means a lot to you too :(( You are definitely his comfort place, and he’d do everything in his power to protect the one he loves.

︴bonus! i loved this idea saur much! You know, despite disney making cringe movies, they actually have very good morals built into them. Like girls can do the same as boy, and you don't always have to follow your parents strict expections; it made me smile to that. Also, funny story, I was taking notes while watching the films and then I come back the next day to find the notes gone?! Turns out it was saved to a different file which is weird.. anyways please request for more fun headcanons!

▸ taglist 🎧 @lil-elle , @hyunukitty , @cake1box , @mars101 , @nenede , @wonootnoot , @pinievsev , @yuniniverse , @hunchan444 , @s00buwu , @cherrycolaberry , @yoiiwonn , @kookieswithjung , @hakyunz (welcome!)

🎬 navi

@chiiyuuvv on tumblr . do not steal works/headers/line dividers

[paviastrashyrings]

yaoi please . idc who just yaoi please

Well allow me to preface this by clarifying that this is a x reader blog, and due to you not caring who, this is perfect real estate for me to write about Horropedia. I just got him to insight 2 and I am very happy with his alternate appearance.

So join me now, dear readers, in a sweet dream of our favorite Nerdy nerd.

Spending a night in with Horropedia

He invited you to a "horror movie watch party", and by party he meant you and him and the others that he invited that wouldn't show.

He never really did mind the others not showing, horror movies were not everyones cup of tea, but you showed up?

Oh, hes over the moon. "Wow! you even brought snacks for us" he would invite you in with a big doofy smile, taking the bag of snacks you brought in so that he could lay them out in a nice container with different sections so none of the flavors or seasonings mixed. Instead of a grand party, there lay a pillow fort on the floor in front of his T.V with a stack of classics queued up for the marathon.

He is collected to the naked eye, calm and polite, but inside? Shaking with pure joy, especially if you listen to his open plot dissections of the movies he laid out.

He wanted you to choose, even if he's watched all of them already, and of course he'd give a recommendation of what to watch.

If you had a favorite? Hes more than happy to watch it with you, but be ready for discourse on scenes he was either impressed by or not impressed with.

He would never discourage you for liking a movie that was not of his tastes, he knows better than anyone what that feels like and would never wish that upon you let alone be the cause of it.

Engage him in polite discourse or rant about the lore of a horror franchise you like and he'll listen and join in, overjoyed to have found a conversation partner that actually enjoys horror too.

Now dear readers, for a sweeter dream, Romance with our beloved nerd.

He is not really a physical touch person to begin, preferring quality time over touch to build trust and comfort.

Laughing with you and sharing snacks with you in the pillow fort over the course of a few movie nights had made him warm up to the idea.

He would be the first to ask if he could initiate physical touch first, wanting to initiate it for his own comfort but allowing it to be a choice.

"Can you give me your hand for a moment?" he would ask, and if you gave him your hand he'd smile and hold it gently in his.

The type of person to draw gentle patterns into your palm, non-repetitive motions to avoid discomfort. He never let his fingers linger on the same spot of your palm for too long.

If you wish to initiate physical touch first, please spare him the same courtesy of asking, allow him to prepare himself to be touched even if it is for a moment.

Holding hands beneath the blanket, reaching over to play with his hair, just small touches and soft laughter; hushed voices whispering "shh! its my favorite part.."

You wondered for a moment how he thought he could fit more than two people in the pillow forts he made.

In reality, he only counted on you coming, hoping that you always did. He would never admit it though <3.

Yet another soft end to a sweet dream, dear readers. Now it is time to close your eyes, breathe in deep, and relish the feeling of freedom in the time that you find rest. I will wait till you find me once more, and then again we shall dream.

Until then, signed yours truly

Moon.

[crookednachogalaxy]

Bowuigi Fanfic List

alrighty, considering that i like reading and re-reading bowuigi fics every once in a while (read: daily), i figure it's about time i curate a lil list of fics i enjoy so i don't have to wade through ao3 everytime i wanna re-read something. and im posting it so that anyone else can enjoy it as well!

i will try to keep it regularly updated, but no promises heh

i want every mentioned author here to know that i absolutely adore your fic(s)!!!!! thank you for putting your creativity out there and sharing the worlds and stories you've created with the rest of us. the amount of joy i feel getting lost in your worlds is indescribable.

kinda goes to show with how long this list ended up being...

disclaimer: these are all fics that i personally enjoy reading. as such, sensitive or triggering topics lirke homophobia, medical trauma, etc. may be a part of certain fics. please always check the tags and read at your own discretion!

One-shots

My Husband, Bowser by LonelyMarowak

Falling in Love by candlelightning (series)

Bowser's Sacrifice by MyHeroZero

Important Gift by DeckofDragons

Castle Surprise by DuxInteritio

Days by Useless19 (series)

Stalemate Series by loudmouthraccoon (series)

Dancing Decisions by DuxInteritio

hot and crispy pill bug. by elastic honey (infernoconcealed)

Dream Sweet, Dream Deep by timeslippingdownyourspine

Bowuigi's Christmas by CircusSparkles

Bowser is Too Big (But Not for Luigi) by ink182

my handsome, my dear by MrsLuigiVargas

Nerdy Robot Fanatic flirts with Lizard King, more at 10 by Royal_Knightmare

Unpredictable by CheeseCakeParty

Lullaby for Junior by Lady_B20

A Quiet Night by DamianTheGamian

Under the Stars by KI56

The Discovery of the Past Shows the Truth by KI56

Love Potion - Bowuigi by trih

The Haunting Princess by Llamaal

Love & Live by soukeye

Princess Luigi by whispersoftheraine

Sleepwalking by wogwoman

Eggs Don't Lie by Llamaal

Unexpected Love by usxuk

Eyes So Bright by BlueBerryOatmeal

Completed Fics

A Love to Die For - How This Love Became by LonelyMarowak

arrivederci by ValentineRunaway

strong and delicate by ValentineRunaway

Share your heart to the Koopa King by BeanieRocket

Secret Admirer by NonbinaryCookie

.:Same Man I Was Before:. by DarkwingSnark

Infiltration of the Heart by VesperOfRoses

When kidnapping goes very very right by TeamRocket9

Why? by AngelXD2

Left Behind by LadyZephyr2019

Captured Luigi Captures Some Attention by Ckatmyla

Bowser's Flower by CherylTiger

A Dream of Sunny Skies by Skippy_Watts

Chained Together by LoveSamanta

Shadows by Dumpsterfiredude

An Egg in a Trying Time by MrsLuigiVargas

Sitting On A Curb by ZoiIsSomehowHere

Going Against the Current by CreativeSnek314

Ongoing Fics

.:Come Be Lonely With Me:. by DarkwingSnark (sequel to .:Same Man I Was Before:.)

it's hard to take a gamble by akiko

It was only a kiss (How did it end up like this?) by Anonymous

True Love's Kiss by Rawrpeep

The Tide of Peace that Brings New Horizons by KI56

Diamond Eyes by AngelXD2

Impurities (Bowser x Luigi) by bowuigiiscannon

Princess Protection Program by TheSilverSpy

Stella Stellina by GimmieSmoreSin

Invasive by batneko

herbes de provence. by elastic honey (infernoconcealed)

The One In the Green Gown by Lady_B20

As Told by Junior by GimmieSmoreSin (my current favourite!)

A New Shade of Green by LuluWolffy

Cooking Mama (Luigi)! by Little_RedHots_Riding_Hood

Lost and found by Vamaji

Strange and Interesting by o_utrecht

The Baddest of the Badlands by supermollio (ngm)

Luigi and the Beast by DracotheDeathEatingCupcake

Super Bowuigi Odyssey by ProtoChan

The Missing Half by MetalProphecies150

How to Take Care of Your Pet Turtle by galactic_goose

A Nutcracker and the Beast by MeiBone

You Can Do It, Bowser! by lexthecryptid

Wishes by Dumpsterfiredude

bad habit by astronout

On hiatus

To Break The Bonds Within Two Kingdoms by MyNameisNickname

Why Him? by Omido

[quitealotofsodapop]

Shihuā probably would have peeled through Guanyin's eyes (if that's something that could be done, idk it seems to imply that even souls already reincarnated can still interact with the world in some way with how the Golden Cicada would guide Tang in the Lantern City or how all of the Pilgrims jsut suddenly appeared as spirits rather than memories when Wukong was rescuing everyone from the Scroll's curse) if she could. Just imagining Shihuā and her mate watching over Wukong through Guanyin, and since Guanyin has reached enlightenment, she probably can recognize when this happens. Crying for Wukong's pain and cheering for his victories, cooing at how he'd care for the baby monkeys. Maybe some of Wukong's more nerdy pursuits (dude is canonically a person who loves to learn) came from his dad? Or his painting skills at least.

Oh yes.

Shíhuā and Yē Lín are able to see much of Wukong's life on the island, given that it's their resting place. And the passed Matriarch has the privilege to see through the eyes of her most recent incarnation - the Bodhisattva Guanyin themselves no matter where they are.

And like with the Golden Cicada's spirit guiding Tang; Shíhuā is able to project herself to the goddess for matters requiring an extra opinion.

So the pair of monkeys are able to share the pains and sorrows and joys that Wukong experiences growing from a cub to a king to a pilgrim to a near-god. And they honestly just want to give him a hug.

They also giggle loudly when their son first meets the little visitor from the lunar realm with six-ears, knowing full well that the flustered stone cubs acted as they did once upon a time.

I love the thought of Wukong coming across his mother's things and seeing that while she had her love of music and fashion (her horde of jade ornaments and bone instruments evidence of that), she was admitedly awful when it came to art.

Wukong finds an art gift the mated pair shared and it looks like that one MLP meme.

Shíhuā, sheepishly: "Oh, your father had always been the better one when it came to visual arts." Yē Lín: "Hard not to when my muse is so beautiful!" Both ghost monkeys: *start nuzzling like newlyweds* Wukong: *covers eyes in embarassment*

Wukong's dad is also super proud and supportive of when he left the island to get an education from Subodhi. Shíhuā points to Wukong's piles of dogearred alchemy textbooks (this monkey had a big nerd moment in JTTW when he had to be a doctor) as evidence that he always had his dad's love of learning new things.

Wukong wonders aloud if his parents' habits rubbed off on his cubs (bio or adopted), only to turn around and see MK covered in chalk and drawing a mural of the Stone Matriach and her Consort from memory on the cave wall.

Yē Lín: "See? It's not only me! Your beauty trancends life itself!" *continues smooching wife* Shíhuā: *loud Wukong-esque snort of laughter!* Wukong: *prays Guanyin comes back soon*

Oh if there's grandbabies? You know them grandbabies getting the ghost equivalent of mini-boss bodyguards. The two monkeys sob over Wukong's cubs, overjoyed that he's able to be there with them when they couldn't for him.

[mrs-g0th1ka]

Dear Reader (Zodiac addition)

✮⋆˙ Hellooo!!! My cute little🦇 bats🦇 ~ I want to try something new. I will be giving a message to each sign that I think best suits them. This will all be in light fun, let's get into it ✮⋆˙

Please remember: What I say may or may NOT apply. Please take what resonates and leave what does not. Thank you♡

࿓࿓༄༄࿓࿓༄༄࿓࿓༄༄࿓࿓༄༄࿓࿓༄༄࿓࿓࿓

Air Signsᯓ★

Libra ⚖

Dear Libras, you have a heart of gold. Sometimes, it gets in your way of growing simply because you see the greater good in most situations. It's okay to let go of what you've outgrown, people, places, and emotions. It's not selfish to think about YOU. At the end of the day, you still matter.

Gemini 𐦍

Dear Gems, you simply are gems. You are so insightful and smart that your minds are constantly on the go. You have big thoughts, and you love to share them. Sadly, this will have people trying to shut you down or out. Stay away from those people. Lean closer to the people who like to teach as well. Be teachable, Gemini. You love to be teachers, but you struggle with being the student (at times).

Aquarius ≈

Dear Aquas, people are going to judge us no matter what. We will always be seen as the black sheep, the weird one, the nerdy one, the socially awkward one, the rebellious one, the cold one, the shy one, the bossy one, the emotionally distant one, Etc. The point is that we are simply all of those things in one body, and that's okay. Being different is okay. Don't be so hard on yourself when others can't see the same vision you see. Just put your actions in motion.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆟

Water signs ⋆｡𖦹°‧🫧

Cancer ☽

Dear cancers, Please remember that happiness is not a magical destination. You can arrive and end. No emotion exists in one solid place, and no person can stay in the same position forever. With that being said, you mustn't give up hope. You shouldn't stop reaching for joy, but if it leaves, don't convince yourself that it's due to your actions. Life is fickle - you can't change that.

Pisces 𓆛

Dear Pisces, Life is too short to wait around for the right moment. Let now be the time when you jump into new projects headfirst. This is the time to start a hobby or fresh routine and attempt confidence in your work and home life. There are plenty of opportunities for happiness awaiting you. All you have to do is reach out and grab them.

Scorpio ☠︎︎

Dear Scorpios, there's no need to rush. You will have time to do everything you want to do, and if you try to fast forward through the mundane, it will only lead to mistakes. It's a tired phrase, but "Quality over quantity" is something to keep in mind. Focus on each to -do list with patience and care. I promise it won't be like this forever.

♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨♨

Fire Signs ☄

Leo 𓃬

Dear Leos, the world outside of your windows and walls have been calling to you. It's easy to get caught up in the non -tangible- digital media and relationships and ghost that haunt your subconscious. But there's a natural reset button only steps away. Try to spend more time in nature, and employ your senses and breath in this planet. Your problems will grow smaller in its wake.

Sagittarius જ⁀➴

Dear Sagittarius, You don't need to worry about how others perceive you. It is only the people you choose to cherish that really matter. Your attention tends to linger on the negative. This will result in little room for your heart to bloom. You will be happier and more content if you stop looking for the approval of strangers and begin nurturing compassion for your loved ones.

Aries 𓄃

Dear Aries, When people give you advice, please listen. I know this is a weird piece of advice to receive —"Listen to advice"— but we both know you often disregard others' thoughts when you feel you know better. Hear what your loved ones have to say when you seek them out to vent. They just might have the solution you need.

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

Earth Signs°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Capricorn 𓃶

Dear Capricorn, Alone time is more valuable than you realize. Lately, you've found yourself buried in a lot of social activities. You'll be required to put energy into pleasing others, leaving less room for your own self. Make a point to prioritize yourself, even when you're tired and especially when it's hard. Otherwise, you'd be headed towards burnout.

Taurus 𓃾

Dear Taurus, though I know you love the light of a good fire, it's time to stop burning bridges every time things fall apart. You never know when you'll need to reignite a relationship, that professional, personal, or otherwise. Taurus, it's possible to forgive and let go quietly. Your default reaction to interpersonal strife shouldn't be to cut people off completely. You can't live like that.

Virgo ❀

Dear virgos, you must be clear and concise with the people in your life. If you have any issues that need adressing, make sure to state them as clearly as possible . Misunderstanding is inevitable; meanings often become confused in the maze of language,but now more than ever, you must be direct if you want to avoid negative ramifications.

Thank you so much for reading my zodiac yap session!!! This was so fun to do and I hope you guys really enjoyed it, until next time -Gothica♡

[presidentlokis-hornyhelmet]

Could you do a Pav x reader based on "From the start" By laufey TY :3

From The Start

🕸MASTERLIST🕸

A/N: anon, I am so sorry for the delay, I only saw the ask yesterday.. I hope the fic's worth the wait! And, this was a really lovely ask, thank you for requesting!

Pairing: Pavitr Prabhakar x platonic!Reader Tags: Pining, Light Angst, Unrequited Love Summary: What's more painful than pining after a person who will never love you the way you do them is listening to them speak of loving someone else the way you wish they did you.

Also read on AO3

🎶Have to get this off my chest I'm telling you today That when I talk to you, oh, Cupid walks right through And shoots an arrow through my heart And I sound like a loon, but don't you feel it too? Confess I loved you from the start 🎶 'From the Start' by Laufey

It was just the two of you, sitting by the bleachers in what he would often describe as a comfortable silence, but was actually awkward. His hair rustled in the wind and he ran his fingers through to tame his lengthy curls, his chocolate brown eyes finding yours in a quiet gaze. A soft smile graced his lips, his face glowing and in that moment, he looked like an angel.

You wished he'd stop looking at you like that. These soft moments were too much; scarily intimate. You felt like an intruder.

It was no longer a happy feeling, no, it was terrifying.

You noticed his lips move. He'd started speaking.

"...it's just..", Pav sighed, waving his hands around and making little insane gestures, frustrated that he couldn't find the right word to explain. It would've been cute and adorable if it wasn't for the fact that he was talking about Gayatri, his girlfriend.

Pavitr Prabhakar was your favourite person in the world, the one who you loved with all your heart -maybe even more than your life. A shame the sentiment will never be reciprocated. Not the way you wanted.

"She's so beautiful and talented and everything, I... She's, like, the perfect girl to ever exist! And, I'm just a nerdy dude with amazing hair."

You forced out a chuckle at his self-depreciating joke.

And it hurt. It hurt because you longed to be the one that he spoke of so fondly so often. That you aren't the reason behind his sleepless nights, that you won't be the first person to share his grief and joys, that he doesn't see you more than just a friend. That he doesn't love you the way you hopelessly love him.

Days spent just lying on your bed and staring at the ceiling as tears run down your face, dealing with the heartache alone. It drives you insane, having the words at the tip of your tongue that you never seem to be able to get out.

And it's too late now, so you just listen to him as his words make a hammer and shatter your heart to pieces. Maybe you were addicted to it, maybe it was a weird kind of dopamine that had you coming back everytime, revelling in the pain of seeing him fuss over his girlfriend and frustrate to express the depths of his love.

You didn't want to think of it as a betrayal but sometimes your treacherous brain would go down that dark lane. You had been the first to welcome Pav at kindergarten, you were his first friend, first bestie, first one to even know his superhero identity. You were there before Gayatri even came into his life. You loved Gayatri will all your heart too, as any bestfriend would, but sometimes you'd just wish that... that...

You loved him from the start. It should've been you.

But it's not.

It was fine, really. You were used to only getting scraps of attention from your family, it's no big deal. Pavitr was the first person to ever give you more than a minute's worth of attention, and maybe that's why you liked him, but still, it's totally fine that he doesn't do it now. Not as often. But you weren't complaining.

A gentle, warm palm laid on your thigh. "You okay, Y/N?"

He'd grown quiet and noticed you weren't listening.

Words choked your throat.

If there was one thing you hated more than your damned fate, it was lying to Pavitr. But the truth will do no one good. Better to swallow it down and deal with it alone; nothing some crying in the shower can't fix.

You wiped the stray tear that slipped down your eye, moving your hair around to cover it and looked up at him, praying he didn't notice.

"Sorry, I zoned out", you smiled, masking the pain of a thousand arrows being shot through your heart. "I'm okay. You were saying?"

You were okay. You were okay.

If Pavitr noticed anything odd, he didn't mention it. He stared deeply into your eyes and for a second you feared he was looking into your soul and found your pathetic little secret. But he just sighed and shook his head, continuing his rant.

You let his head lay on your lap as he lamented, swallowing down the sob rising in your throat. You may not be able to love him the way you want to, but that isn't to say you can't cherish these little moments alone. Resigning to your fate, you run your fingers through his hair as he goes on with making amusing faces and cute little gestures.

He's not yours, he will never be, but you loved him from the start and weren't going to stop now. Even if it hurt from the start. 

_____

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it! <3 likes and comments are appreciated!

[momojedi]

And so, my teens come to an end. The finale of an era.

To many, this is a big step in life simply because they’re going on to their next decade and finally letting go of what many deem to be the hardest times of their lives. Naturally, it is the same for me.

I was eleven when my life changed for the worse and each year just threw another blow to my face after that. At sixteen, I was at my lowest when I got diagnosed with an incurable neurological condition that made me wheelchair dependent for the rest of my life. I was in the midst of a pandemic lockdown with no one to turn to while I was sent from hospital to hospital and from medical treatment to medical treatment. I was alone and I felt like a labrat.

From then on, it was quite a ride accepting my condition and learning to live with it while also trying to keep up with the world around me. My studies were lacking but I pushed through and despite failing several times, I think I managed quite well so far.

In 2022, I met my lovely boyfriend, my partner, my pookie as you will, who brought a whole new sense of joy into my life and I’m ever so grateful for having been given the chance to meet him.

I met wonderful friends, people who lend me a hand when it’s really tough and naturally I lost some too, maybe for the better, maybe for the worse but I keep pushing through. I was granted back my passions for art, for writing, for imagining and god, am I ever so grateful for that.

Despite being just a franchise, just some media, Star Wars has been a great detail in my journey that’s been a source of comfort ever so often when I just wanted to power off and escape. When the world got too loud, I would flee into a galaxy far, far away and fight battle droids in the clone wars with my clone legion or pilot an x-wing as a rebel against the Empire. Star Wars is my safe space, one that I’m finally brave enough to share without fearing that people might consider me nerdy or weird and it’s truly been a ride so far.

I can’t wait to share my new decade with you all, and I’m so happy you’ve enjoyed my content enough to support me up til now!

Thank you and may the force be with you <3

[hoeforhao]

🪧. ⚜️ Eclipse ⚜️ Prologue // Wonwoo FF//

⸙͎ pairing: dad!wonwoo × fem!reader

⸙͎ synopsis: what happens when you meet your lover from your previous life, except this time he is a dad coupled with zero memories of you two.

⸙͎ genre: heavy angst, some fluff, reminiscing of memories, happy ending?

⸙͎warnings: war trauma, mention of death, ww2 era love, flashbacks, rebirth/reincarnation

⸙͎ word count: 437

⸙͎ author's note: hehe it's finally wonu month as well as mine!!! so this is my special series as a gift for both my and wonu's birthday♡

Lemme know if y'all want a happy ending or sad ending for this.

"Bubbles run fast, why are you tortoising through the hallway hmph" the little ball of joy kept dragging you down the gallery, galloping like an excited baby bunny, eager to introduce her favorite person with her other favorite human, a.k.a her father.

"I'm not an eleven year old, bursting with energy,kiddo like you Elara!!! Please run slow Ms" panting like a dog, you two finally reach the party venue, all decked up in peonies and gilded with stardust.

"There he is" one last swish from El and that's when your entire world stood still. A feline looking man, permed locks cascading down his forehead, face plastered with the biggest smile the world has ever witnessed while his eyes form the perfect cresents on the night sky of his temples.

I mean it's not that unnatural for women to be smitten by such beauty, right? But for you, he wasn't just another random nerdy looking man you've met on the streets, someone straight outta the books. No! H-he... he was your moon, one that eclipsed over your pain, your anger, your flaws and in return made you gleam the brightest in the galaxy.

☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.

"Wonu-yah quick quick close your eyes and make a wish" you tightly press his biceps while bringing both of your palms together to wish upon the falling star.

"Yah silly girl, you know i don't believe in these." a slight mocking smile leaves wonwoo's lips as his lightly pinches your mochi cheeks to break your concentration.

"Yeah yeah sure sure! Why would you even need to wish for something when you have everything" getting up from the boulder you two were sharing and straddling your way through the beachy sand, you stomp away all angry.

"Okay okay I'm sorry bubbles. Tell me what you wished for" a pair of soft yet firm hands entrap your body from behind, while a cute stubby nose rests on your shoulder.

"For you to hold my hand in every universe and lead me through it. For you to always come home to me ; and for you to entwine me in your orbit in every life" single drops of tears making it way down your cheeks as you hold wonwoo's hands in yours. "W-we won't ever part tracks right? I wanna see the beauty of this world with you, enjoy each and every element only if you're there to clasp me into your arms through everything; and then finally bloom together from the soil again."

"You'll always be the star to my moon, darling. Never alone never separated, always shining bright together."

Oh only if they knew....

[revasserium]

a rumination on falling in love; aka the terrifying and strange reality of "dream girl" becoming "real girl"

or, what happens when an only child who has only ever loved in fiction falls in love in real life instead

this is not for you. unless, of course. you, like me, have felt like this before. which is to say, this might be for you. but it most definitely is, 100%, for me. so read on if you'd like. or, close out and move right along.

i am very lucky, i think, to have had the childhood that i had -- only child, two loving parents. but not only that, two loving parents who were good at loving and also good at parenting (which are two very distinct and different things and somehow, at least in my semi-limited exposure to people around my age, is becoming rarer and rarer these days). i am lucky to have been allowed to grow as i have -- to never question that i am loved, unconditionally and endlessly, to never question whether or not i have something -- because of course it's mine -- i've got no siblings to have to share anything with.

now, to some, that might be a sad, lonely thing, but i never thought about it that way. because i was never taught to think about it that way. and contrary to popular belief, it hasn't made me (or at least so i think) stingy or "bad at sharing" -- it's actually made me rather an over-sharer. i always have snacks at the office, i try to offer advice freely, i spot dinners/outings when i can, i like the joy it brings to share things not only to the people being shared with, but also to me -- the person doing the sharing.

but the double-edged sword of only-child-dom in upper-middle class america is time -- the huge, gaping excess of it, giant swaths of it after school, great big chunks of it on the weekends, the seemingly unbridgeable chasm between turning off the light and falling asleep. later, i'd learn that undiagnosed adhd and very high performing manic depression are to blame for most of my vibrating sense of need to fill every hour of every day with some kind of productivity (this, unironically, is why i love new york city -- the frenetic energy of it matches my mental wavelength so that i can feel "productive" even when i'm just walking down the street or sitting in a bar).

but back then, i -- and by extension my lovely parents -- tried to fill it with stuff -- 2 different art classes, ballet, swimming, piano, debate club, singing, chinese school, and of course, with my still yet unfilled hours -- reading and writing. to say i was raised by the books i read would be an understatement. to say i am nothing more than a massive conglomerate of those characters that resonated most with me in those books would be parenthetical to the fact that i'm also built by all those characters i've ever admired or wanted to be. i am, in the most cliche, literal, non-lampshaded sense "that nerdy book girl" who made it her entire fucking personality to be... that nerdy book girl. and this, amidst the stratospheric rise of "not like other girls" media and rhetoric -- it was not healthy (it still isn't), but it was a large part of who i was. and a lingering part of who i am today.

my overactive, adhd-driven imagination served me well, then. into the stories i delved, and what i couldn't find in my normal every day life, i found in narrative. long before the tiktok-ification of "book boyfriends" came the voices in my head that sounded like all the would-be book boyfriends i'd ever have -- everyone from edward cullen to kakashi to four (that one guy from divergent who only has like 4 fears, which in retrospect is so, so cringe, but alas) to fictionalized versions of one direction members. the list goes on. i used to be able to hold entire conversations, play out entire scenes with these mental constructs with impudent ease. spend hours in my room by myself just imagining.

it was like astral projection -- my body, here, my mind and my soul, somewhere else entirely. and this i believe (to this day) is the core of a lot of my writing and creativity. and also the core of a lot of my philosophies and beliefs. the ability to sink into a dream, a scene, a story.

and then. i fell in love.

and sure, it would be much too cliche to say that misery breeds good art so a happy artist would (at best) produce mediocre art/writing/whatever. because i've also seen fantastic art produced by very, very happy artists. the sad truth is only that it's much rarer than the alternative of the painfully mainstream tortured artist.

but to some degree, i think there's an inkling of truth in that saying. because having a real-life boyfriend, with all the real-life machinations and strings of having said real-life boyfriend has made it, somehow, much harder to access that old imaginary part of me. like a child growing up and losing the ability to "make believe" the way they used to. except, i know it's still there. there are still moments where i touch it, where i dip my toes in and it always feels like coming home.

and it's more than just the normal adult-ish responsibilities of going to work and paying bills, making dinner and shopping for groceries. doing laundry and investing in your roth ira. because before real-life boyfriend, i still did those things and i was still able to seamlessly get to that "elsewhere place". somehow, it is the physical presence of real-life boyfriend that seems to act as a "grounding agent". he is home, so i can't go to that other place. or, i can kind of get there, but i've always still got one foot steeped in reality.

it is not a necessarily good or bad thing, just an observation at most. but it does create this new "space" for the "want" of that elsewhere. for the want to being able to slip into that creative asphodel like i used to -- blink and i'm there. so i find myself often sitting at my desk, wishing, and then wondering what it means that i can't. that it isn't always and immediately accessible to me anymore.

perhaps absolute solitude was the unquestioned prerequisite for so long that i'd never noticed it until the solitude was no longer available to me. or perhaps the book-boyfriends are just shy creatures, afraid of the blaring daylight that real-life boyfriend might shed on their ultimate two-dimensional beings.

or perhaps that was always a "safe space" that i'd created for myself, and now real-life boyfriend has created a safe space for me too, and the venne-diagram of the two space spaces overlap just so, making a less singular space of each of them in turn. i don't know, but it's an interesting thought.

it's always struck me, now thinking back, that i've never been even remotely interested in having a real-life relationship before now. but that i've also never questioned if i wanted the current one that i'm in, if this was "the one" or if it was "good for me". and in that too, i know i am very lucky. few people can say that they struck gold the first time they've ever tried.

i know for a fact i wouldn't be this happy, have this good of a life if real-life boyfriend weren't here. he has made me better in ways that i do not have words to describe. but i'm also terrified of the earthen grounding-ness of him. i've spent my entire childhood and most of my adult life with my head in the clouds, taking the necessary trips back down to earth when i had to but... it feels strange to be "here" more and more. there's a hole inside of me where "that" heaven should be.

but two things can be true -- i am happy here; i still yearn for that elsewhere.

[mrszeoxin]

Cupid Parasite Sweet and Spicy Darling Review

This is the first time I’m playing a game as soon as it comes out! I’m super excited since I just finished the original game this week. I love fandiscs since I love fluff. This does have a new character though, so I’m curious to see what that’s like, but definitely more excited for the main guys.

Merenice

I decided to start with the new guy to get him out of the way. I typically don’t like new routes in these fandiscs, but I’m willing to give it a shot. From what I’ve read he can see people’s future, which is very cool. But kind of like Edward from Twilight, MC is the only person whose future he can’t see, which grabs his attention. I’m hoping this route will be fun.

Honestly I wanted to like this route, and I tried to have an open mind, but I couldn’t get into it. I just don’t like it when they introduce new characters you can romance that weren’t in the original game, and it just felt so rushed and out of place. HOWEVER, this gave us the closest we’ll ever get to an Owen route, and I’m through the roof with joy. The Owen Ending was so good, I love Owen 😭, it’s a crime they didn’t give him a full route in the original game or this one.

Gill

I decided to play the original guys in case order, so that means we start with Gill. Which works for me because I actually liked Gill in the original game (although I now know that not everyone shares my sentiment). Right away, I already noticed the music in this route is much better than the first one I did, which is kind of a relief. When I was playing Merenice’s route I thought the music was way worse than the first game, which made me depressed, but I’m starting to think maybe it was just a his route thing.

I love Gill. No surprise, I really enjoyed his route in this game too. I love how crazy he is, like the things he builds is so nerdy, and sweet, and insane, it’s just so great. I also got some good laughs from his route. Being in an Agape-Agape relationship irl, I really loved when they talked about how self-sacrificing love isn’t the same as straining/suffering for your love, rather it’s being willing to give up certain things mutually and it’s satisfying to love each other like that.

I did play all three endings since I wasn’t sure what to expect. But Sweet and Spicy = Best Ending, Sweet = Normal Ending, and Spicy = Bad Ending, based on what I saw. So I probably won’t do anymore Spicy Endings, as I tend to not like bad endings, but Gill’s Spicy End was very similar to the vibes from that popular Jumin Bad Ending and DLC.

I also really loved his short stories! I love getting to see the male lead’s perspective and thoughts in otome games and books. So it was super fun to get into Gill’s head again and see more of his past.

Shelby

Next up is Case 2, Mr. Shelby Snail himself. Unfortunately he was my least favorite in the original game, so I can’t say I’m super excited. But honestly, I still think his will be cute since at least they are already married. I just need him to not act like a wimp like last game lol.

Okay, this was actually surprisingly fun. As someone who Shelby is my least favorite love interest, I still had such a blast playing his route. It had so many funny scenes, and was just overall so fun to play. I love how real yet hilarious many of the situations in this route were. Like they had a fight, they had doubts, they had *cough* problems in the bedroom *cough*, and it was so funny and entertaining to play. I am a little bummed we didn’t get a SS Cupid joke, since new Cupid’s initials are also SS, but overall super fun to play. I’m pleasantly surprised!

Raul

Next up is Raul! I’m excited since I liked his original route a lot, and he’s about tied with Gill as far as me loving the character. I’m excited to see what we have in his route, I’m sure it’ll be extra fun since we have the whole him being a celebrity trope, plus he knows she’s Cupid. So I’m sure this will be super fun!

Oh my gosh I love Raul so much 😭💕. Raul and MC are just so cute together, and I love their dynamic so much. This route was just so fun. It had so many moments that had me laughing so hard, and others that had me tearing up because it was so sweet. Raul is so wholesome and sweet, which is so counter to the trope he plays. But I love him and his himbo golden retriever energy. I also think the plot for this one was so ridiculous and fun to play. Plus I love his reaction to meeting her dad. Everything was just so sweet.

Ryuki

Let’s go! It’s my favorite from the first game, I love Ryuki and his route so much 🥹💕. I’m so excited to get to play his route in the Fandisc! I hope we get to see him get all flustered again, but I also would love to see him be a little jealous again😅. He’s so cute, and I’m sure I’m going to love this route!

Ryuki is so cute, I can’t 😭💕. As I suspected I loved this route, Ryuki was just as cute as usual, and him and MC have such a cute and authentic “young love” vibe. It’s just so cute and sweet, it was so fun to play! Also when he dyed his hair back to its natural color, that really got to me, I can’t explain why but it got to me. He’s so amazing! Don’t even get me started on his bonus episodes 😭 ahhh I love him so much!!!

Allan

Unfortunately, I’m not super excited for this route. Given I didn’t like Allan that much in the original, I have a feeling I probably won’t love this route. However, I did enjoy Shelby’s in this game, so maybe if this route is funny I can at least enjoy that. I’d also enjoy if they gave MC a bigger change in appearance given she’s a demon now, because the original kinda felt like a cop-out, but I guess we’ll see.

So, I don’t like being a hater, especially since I know Allan is popular, so I’ll try to keep it short. I did not like this route at all. It was not enjoyable for me, I couldn’t get into it and it felt like it was dragging on forever. I just didn’t have any fun, the time skip makes it so we can’t see any of the characters we know in the game which is a bummer, and honestly them living forever just triggered my existential dread of dying. I’m glad she finally looked like a demon at some point, but honestly I just couldn’t get into it. If you like angsty stuff and love Allan you’d probably like it, but I just don’t. The Orpheus and Eurydice parallel also made me upset as someone who loves that myth, because Orpheus turns around BECAUSE his love is so strong, so I didn’t like the implication that somehow Allan’s love is so strong he wouldn’t turn around. Like that’s not the flex the writers think it is, I also didn’t like that Satan plot. They also did my boy Robin dirty in this route. I don’t know, maybe I’m alone here, but this just wasn’t it for me.

Peter

Last route! Let’s go! I’m excited for Peter’s route, he was my second favorite in the original game and so I think I’ll probably enjoy this route. I think it’ll be fun to get to see more of them being Jupiter and Juno, plus Peter is such a cutie I’m sure it’ll be good.

This was a good route! I didn’t love some of the later plot, but I love Peter and so it was enjoyable. He’s so sweet and I love his relationship with MC, it’s such a unique dynamic. I thought it was really enjoyable and fits well as a last route to play for the game.

Overall

I think I really enjoyed this fandisc for the most part. I liked pretty much all the routes, with two making me genuinely laugh a ton. A lot of the CGs were really good too, and it’s fun to see a more domestic life for the couples. However I didn’t like the music as much as the first game, it wasn’t bad, but the first game had such iconic songs that really captured each character and moment. I don’t feel like the music this game felt as special, and there was this sound and song that played that would get on my nerves so bad. But even with the music, I still think the game was super fun. I also loved Robin and his character a bunch. For some reason he reminded me of Yamato from My Forged Wedding, which is my first otome husband, so that made me like Robin even more. Honestly kind of wish we got a Robin or Owen route instead of Merenice. I think if you liked the first game and its humor you’ll probably love this game.

It was really fun getting to play a game when it released, and I’m glad I could post this but too long after. As of now I only played the Sweet and Spicy endings, if I go back and play the other endings later I’ll post an update! Next review will probably be a while until I post it since I’m going to be pretty busy soon.

But I’d love to hear your thoughts on this game if you’ve played it yet.

[mysticalsoot]

halloween costumes & anxiety

part 1 of 'glances of love'

➸ note; I bit the bullet. alright so context, glances of love is a fic series based off my chaos dr which is basically just a streamer dr hybrid. some details, like the dynamic between reader and Wil, readers behaviors and anxieties, experiences like this fic, are all pieces of my dr. so if it's unconventional, I'm sorry but it's my Dr, my blog, my writing. i choose to share this bc I want to and I want other people to enjoy my work. anyways! on with the reading (please don't throw stones at me, my bones are like brittle glass)

➸ pairing; male!reader x cc!wilbur, he/him

➸ summary; reader avoids going to wilbur's shows for one reason--the fans. he has no qualms against them, they just scare him. he decides to go for the second Halloween gig, dressing up as a humanized tardis as wilbur is the tenth doctor. everything goes smoothly until it's time to meet fans. Wilbur then comforts reader yay!

➸ warning; uses of babyboy including other nicknames, one use of daddy but in a sfw/jokingly sweet context! maybe swearing? mean depiction of some Lovejoy fans-- sorry! wilbur dresses up as the tenth doctor.. nerdy and dorky shit. reader has much panic and anxiety, some hints of an anxiety attack mixed with an autistic shut down (haha me-- /lh)

➸ age-rating; 15+

➸ wordcount; 3.2k

main masterlist

glances of love masterlist

you love wilbur, that was something you were sure of and wholeheartedly so. you supported him, mostly from the safety of your shared home. making posts online basically being his biggest cheerleader, helping him calm down from panics or spirals, smiling and cheering whenever he shows you something knew. you love him. you support him. you adore him.

but his fanbase scares you. it's nothing against them, really. maybe it's the daunting size and intensity of the group of people. maybe it's the negativity that manages to be at the forefront of your mind. whatever it is, they scare you.

you haven't been to one of Lovejoy's shows in ages, and you really hadn't planned on it. you still sort of don't yet Wil's been talking about the next big gig; the Halloween show in Brighton. he wants you to be there, wherever comfortable of course, all dressed up in a matching costume, cheering him on and right there so he can kiss you the second he steps off stage, utilizing that adrenaline to his advantage. he wants you by his side through everything, and while he'd never push you to something you don't want to do, he can't help but be a little pushy about it. he isn't mean or harmful, he just mentions it more. he talks and he talks about it, bouncing and stimming in joy at the mentions of it and the plans he has for it and how cool it's going to be. he wants you there so bad, and it's painfully clear.

"so, what do you think, baby?" he asks as he spins around in front of the TV, showing off his costume in all its glory. you made a joke a few months prior that he reminded you of David Tennant's doctor who, and he took it and ran with it. he's clad in his old converse, some of his funky socks, a pair of brown patterned pants. he tucks in the white shirt a bit more, adjusting the tie before putting the trench coat on. he smiles widely, hands in his pockets just like Ten.

you smile and nod, clapping softly, "you look lovely, darling!" you try your best to sound as excited as possible, giggling when you see him try to stick his hair upwards, but it flops down over his forehead and he sticks his lip out in a pout. "don't think your hair is made for that, bub."

you shake your head with a smile as he shrugs, striding over to you and plopping down beside you on the couch, tossing his legs up on the coffee table in front of you. he tugs you into his lap, "c'mere," and you oblige with a giggle, settling between his thighs comfortably, your legs around his waist as you rest your hands half on his chest half on his shoulders. he holds you by your lower back and hips, hands flat out on your body.

"why don't you come, just this once?" he speaks barely above a whisper as he pushes a bit of hair out of your face, a kiss placed on your opposite cheek.

you think for a moment, you need to go sometime. being on the sidelines won't cut it for much longer, and going means more time with him, less time spent alone. but that also means being near a lot of people, or being in a crowd. or meeting fans--

"yeah, why not?" you smile softly, part of you immediately regretting your words but holding up to your word anyhow.

the following week is spent in preparation, costumes, after show plans, travel, rehearsal, set list writing-- most things Wil handles alone. alot of time spent tucked away in the office in the flat, or on the phone or in the studio. but you both manage time to spend together, and to work on your costume. you both decided on a simple costume, a flowy shirt, a leather jacket, some boots and a tardis key around your neck.

a simple omage to the doctor's forever partner, the tardis. you both thought it was sweet, a nice way to say "forever?" in a rather dorky and cute way.

the day of the show snuck up on you both much quicker than expected, Wil was scrambling to leave early and you were trying to calm your nerves the moment you woke. of course you'd be home on your own for a bit, until you went to the venue a couple hours before it started. you'd help out in whatever way you could and then help wil with makeup if he decided he wanted to add some, just for a special touch.

"if you need anything from me, don't hesitate to call okay? or text. I'm right here, baby. I'll make sure you're okay." he smiles, kissing your forehead as he goes through his mental bullet points of what to remind you on.

• I'm here

• you're safe

• text me

• call me

• I love you

• goodbye/see you soon

the way he had this little pre-venue routine was sweet, and it helped calm your nerves even for a bit. it brought you peace of mind and helped settle that fire that always lit in your stomach in moments of anxiety.

he was like a natural anxiety remedy, and you loved every second of it.

"I know, I know. I'll tell you if anything's wrong. now, go have fun at soundcheck. i love you, bee," you lean up to try and reach his lips to kiss, yet you don't quite reach that height. he leans down and closes the gap for you, your lips moving in sync with one another as you sigh into the feeling. it's nice, it's warm and it buzzes your skin. he pulls back, smiling before biting his lip. he brushes some hair out of your face as he admires you.

"I love you so so much, thank you for coming tonight.." he peppers kisses all over your face, holding your head in his hand as you giggle, holding his arms gently.

you giggle, smiling sweetly as he kisses all over your face and then he kisses your nose and stops, pulling back to smile down at you.

"I love you soo much more!" you giggle, kissing one more time as you both bid one another a sweet 'see you later'. you drop down onto the couch the moment the door clicks shut. you take in a deep, shakey breath, spending the next few hours wondering and pondering on how you expect to handle being at the show.

a few hours pass and you're on the walk to the venue, it isn't far from Wil's apartment building so you manage a swift 10-minute walk, wilbur's acoustic guitar slung on your back. you managed to avoid the crowds lining up and queuing for the show, slipping into the venue through the backdoor, sighing in relief once the door was shut and locked behind you. you hurried over to the green room, holding the guitar strap on your chest and putting the guitar down in the corner. Wil walks in a moment later, hurrying up behind you and wrapping his long arms around you. he rests his chin on your shoulder and you sigh happily. turning in his grasp, you shove yourself into his chest and keep close.

"I'm glad to see you, honeybaby.." he moves to rest his chin on your head, his hand on the back of it, scratching at your scalp with his fingertips and he presses kisses onto your hair.

"'m glad too.." you mumble against his chest, hands grasping at his back, fingers pressing into the fabric of his shirt.

"how was your walk, baby?" he picks you up by your waist, placing you gently onto his lap after he finds his spot on the couch. you rest your hands on the bottom hem of his shirt. his fingers and thumbs rub at your thighs, trying to soothe you.

"good, I got to come in through the back," you shrug, leaning yourself down to press against his chest. you nestle your body between his thighs as you gently whine in content. he presses a hand against your back, as his other grazes your cheek gently.

"mm, good, baby," he smiles, kissing your nose. you both stay like that for a while, wrapped up in each other's limbs. legs tangled, arms around one another, fingers fidgeting with each other's. your head is nestled on his shoulder and his head on top of yours. it's sweet and it's warm, and your anxiety slips away with every breath of his you hear. every tingle of your skin at his touch.

"I have to go soon, hun," he whispers against the shell of your ear, placing a kiss there as he rubs your upper arm. you whine at him, hiding your face in his chest, head tucked under his chin. he giggles at you, kisses placed on your hair before he gently pulls you back.

"I have a show to play, baby boy," he smirks, kissing your forehead. he's so.. sweet, you think, kind and gentle and you love his touch and affection.

"how much longer?" you hold a gentle pout on your lips, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"mm.." he pauses in thought, not actually thinking but pretending to, only to make you laugh, "five minutes? is that good for you, baby?"

you nod, resting back on his chest as you rest your legs on either side of his thighs, cuddling close to him and letting your eyes rest. wilbur draws shapes on your back with his finger tips. his other hand plays with your hair, twirling strands around his fingers before letting go and massaging your scalp. you let out soft, contented sighs with every touch, simply taking in every feeling and savoring it.

the five minutes pass and he's putting you back to stand, hugging you and kissing you as you help hype him up. he runs on stage and you head into the crowd. you thought it might help your anxiety, to be around everyone. you easily slip into the crowd, finding a spot off to the side and clapping and screaming with the crowd.

you blend in easily, getting drawn into the music and enjoying it just as anyone else. you eye wilbur lovingly, watching him bounce around and perform in his costume. he looks so silly to you, adorable and lovely. you smile so widely and he glances over to you every once and a while, a smile and a wink thrown in your direction.

the show moves along smoothly, he talks in between songs when he's tuning his guitar. he's careful not to point you out, but he talks about you. gushing over his boyfriend, how sweet you are and how you're the reason he has a costume this year. he smiles so wide, and his eyes sparkle. he really loves you.

once the show ends, they go out to the back, and you slip back through the backstage door. the crowd finds their way out to the back, ready to meet the guys and your heart starts to pound at the idea. you fully plan on going out with Wil, wanting to be beside him despite your fears. surely it'll be fine? no one will bother you and all in all, he'll be there so you'll be okay.

he meets you in the hall outside of the green room, picking you up by your waist and spinning you around before kissing all over your face. you giggle, humming and grabbing at his shirt.

"hi, baby-" he coos, pulling back and resting his forehead on yours.

"hi, wilbee.." you let your words fade, sighing and shutting your eyes. he rubs your cheeks with his thumbs as he looks down into your eyes.

"ready, lovey?" he smiles, pulling back and dipping his head to meet your eyes.

you nod and he puts out his hand for you. you wrap your hand around his finger, not bothering with holding his whole hand as he leads you outside through the backdoor. you keep your hold on him, hiding in his side or behind him. you're sure to hold onto him, so you don't lose him somewhere in the crowd. there isn't a barricade outside like there sometimes is, so fans crowd around and cluster up in his (and your) personal space. you stay quiet about it, keeping your fast breathing and spinning mind under wraps. wilbur tells a few people to back up just a bit, for safetys sake as he speaks with a few fans. he lets you keep that hold on him, only letting go when he takes photos.

your mind wanders until a few voices catch you. they're simple whispers, ones that surround you and come from behind you. you don't turn around to see the source of the voices but you hear what they say as clear as day.

"does he really have to bring his boyfriend everywhere?"

"we're here to see Lovejoy, not wilbur's lost puppy."

they laugh together, and wilbur doesn't even hear, and you don't bother to speak up either. you try your best to zone out, to pull those voices out of your mind and crush them, but they seem to consume you.

"everyone knows he's probably just a gold digger. someone like him can only be a gold digger."

"wilbur's too old for him anyways. we all know wil would be happier with someone older."

you lean your head on wilbur's side, whining softly as your brain spins and drowns in fear and anxiety. he doesn't stop his conversation for a bit, not until you grab onto his shirt and tug it slightly. your head is tilted back and your eyes are sad as they look up at him.

he pulls you aside gently, crouching just barely so your eyes are at the same level. he holds your face, kissing your lips once before pulling back to smile at you.

"what's wrong, baby? do you need to leave?" he asks in a gentle tone, you shake your head gently. you know you aren't convincing but if you can be just enough, maybe he'll go back out again. maybe you won't ruin the night.

"no, no, I'm okay. just tired. um.. let's go back? i don't want anyone to be upset." you hold a soft, yet fake, smile on your lips. wilbur frowns, not believing your facade for a second but taking it knowing how stubborn you are. you grab onto his belt loop this time, following him back over into the crowd of fans.

he continues going about interactions, signing things and talking amongst everyone, he takes photos and he hugs people.

you tune yourself out of what he's busy with, not wanting to be bothersome. but as always, you regret that decision.

more people start talking about you.

it's driving you crazy.

"such a pitiful guy, his boyfriend protecting him- Jesus, wilbur deserves someone better."

tears start to prick at your eyes due to the words thrown at you. you bite your lip and let go of wils jeans, walking away and wiping tears from your cheeks with your sleeve.

you hear more comments, most are seemingly happy about your absence and you don't get a cool breath until you're back inside the venue. you decide packing up would be your best bet, putting away what wilbur brought. his laptop and charger, a book and guitar picks. you pack everything you can, letting sobs rip through your chest as tears pour down your cheeks. you're a mess and you feel it. you aren't even sure if wilbur had noticed your absence but you sort of hope he didn't. you didn't want to steal him from everyone anyways.

a few minutes pass of frantic packing and burning tears before footsteps are heard. wilbur opens the door to the green room gently, walking over to you and pulling you into his arms. he's silent, not a word needs to be spoken for you to know how okay it is. you let it out, crying into his chest as sobs ripple out and you grasp at his shirt. he rubs your back with one hand while the other pets your hair. he kisses the top of your head, shushing you sweetly.

"shh.. shh, baby it's okay. I'm here? okay, I'm here." he mumbles between kisses to your head. his fingers rub and press on your back to help ground you. eventually you're able to catch your breath, voice still shakey but at least you aren't crying. the tears have been shed and all that's left is a broken voice and stains of sorrow on your cheeks.

he holds your face, rubbing away the tear stains with his thumbs. you sigh, holding his wrists with your hands, rubbing the inside with your thumbs.

"what happened?" he asks again and you want to brush it off, but instead you spill. you tell him of all the horrible things you've seen and heard, how you feel like the only one that experiences it. you ask why you're so hated, and he doesn't have the answer. he can only see the beauty in you, he sees no reason for one to hate you or even dislike you one bit. he nods and sighs, kissing your forehead before pulling you into his lap and placing soft kisses to your neck and jaw.

"you're okay now, baby. I'm here, I won't let anyone hurt you. i promise, none of those things are true and I promise I love you, and I love you for who you are." he smiles, watching your eyes sparkle with an admiration at his words. you feel the sobs build up in your throat and you want to cry again, to sob hysterically just by hearing such sweet words.

"i mean how can someone be a gold digger if they insist on helping pay bills on an apartment they're not even on the lease for?" he chuckles, kissing your forehead as you find giggles escaping you instead at his silly words. it's true, if anything you're farther from a gold digger than anything, "they don't know you, hun, so don't let them get to you."

he kisses your forehead one more time, before pulling back and letting you tuck into his lap for a few minutes rest. he lets you lay there, rubbing your back until he has to pick you up. he does so, and you both begin to pack the van up, ready to go home as soon as possible.

he stops you by the back door, holding your hand and looking down at you, "home, my tardis?"

"home, doctor," you smile up at him and he kisses you once, twice, three times before hurrying you both to the van. he helps you in first, buckling you in before he slides in next to you.

"what was that for?" you inquire gently, his hand reaching out to you, insisting you wrap your hand around his finger and you do so, but keep your gaze on him in order to keep his attention.

"I wanted to show extra care, that's all."

you nod softly in agreement, resting your head against his shoulder as he sighs.

"g'night, baby," he kisses your temple with a sweet smile.

"goodnight, daddy.." you smile to yourself as sleep takes over and you finally feel a blanket of peace over you.

it wasn't the best experience, but at least you had wilbur along the way.

taglist; @lcvejoy @lillylvjy @ella-fella-bo-bella @lotusanonymouse @ughtreyparker @whos-nicooo @zebonos

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