#so i wanted to give an update of some kind

[deadtired-highkeyenergetic]

All The Reasons Why

Sorry for the lack of updates. Been suffering from jet lag and still kind of am, staying up until 3am for an event isn't helping much, pretty sure I haven't actually slept the whole night/early morning. Anyways after all that angst here's some...uh fluff? Sad fluff but still fluff I'm pretty sure

Summary: Alcohol loosens Silco's tongue and you find out a lot more about Silco's feelings towards you than what you expected

You've never really seen Silco drunk before. He has such a high tolerance towards alcohol that sometimes you believe he's immune to getting drunk, but tonight proves otherwise because he's stumbling into your room with flushed cheeks and red ears.

"Silco?" You hurriedly guide him to your bed before he can smack face first into anything. Considering how you knew he was outside your room from the very loud string of curses that came after the sound of something smacking into your door, you don't quite trust him to navigate his way around your room.

"Hey." His speech is slightly slurred, sea foam eyes unfocused. He better not puke all over your bed or anywhere in your room for that matter, you don't want to clean up that kind of mess in your room. He does obediently sit on your bed, watching you rather intently.

"Did you need something?" You ask, not quite sure why he tried to enter your room in the first place.

"I need to tell you a secret. Promise you will not tell anyone else?" You can smell the alcohol coming off his breath even when there's a gap between you both, a testament to how much he's drunk tonight.

"Uh, sure." Well this is intriguing. Silco always kept his secrets to himself, refusing to give others a peak at the cards he held in fear of them using it against him, not even Vander knew everything about Silco.

"There is this…person who I like."

You raise an eyebrow, lips quirking up in amusement. What an opener. You're pretty sure you know who he's talking about, but there's still a small part of you that doubts it, whispering all the reasons why it isn't the person you're thinking about, hissing that you're delusional and that he's found someone better. Someone better than you.

"They are amazing in every way. They look good, they fight well, they are better than me when it comes to scaring unwanted attention away. They are kind, caring, nothing like the tough image they project to the world. They hide behind the image of a rough unfeeling fighter because they have to in order to survive, but they are always so gentle with me and the ones they care about. They always worry about me, always know when I need someone to talk to, always know when to give me space and when to offer me their shoulder to lean on. They know all my habits, know my favourite food and drink, know where to find me, sometimes I wonder if there is nothing they do not know about me." He takes a deep breath, gaze searching the floor.

"But they are atrocious at giving compliments. It is as though they cannot say nice things to other people. I know though, that they compliment people through actions. They like messing up my hair, slapping me on the back, nudging me with their shoulder, sometimes they even tell me 'not bad', but that is the nicest thing they will ever say to me. I know that when they mess up my hair they are proud of me, slapping me on the back means 'well done' and 'not bad' means 'great job'." He smiles softly and you can't help but smile back, a warmth growing in your chest.

"I like it. I like the way they cannot compliment people, I like the way they try to show their appreciation for someone by doing little things for said person, I like the way their nose scrunches when they try to say something nice but all that comes out is 'not bad'. I like the way they fiercely devote themselves to everything, from what they believe in to protecting someone they care about. One moment they are angrily hissing at someone to shove off and the next they are turning to me, asking if I am alright in the most monotonous tone ever." He laughs quietly, gripping the bed sheet.

You recall when that exact situation happened, the confused look he gave you upon hearing your question and the amusement in his voice as he told you that you could at least ask him that with some concern. In your defense, you were checking him for injuries at the same time, analysing any possible sign knowing that he would stubbornly keep any injury a secret from you.

"I like the way they awkwardly react when I hug them, standing stiffly like a brick and staring at me confused. I like the way they do their best to console me when I cry, whether it be resting a hand on my back or patting my head. I like their loyalty. I know I can entrust more than my back to them, I know I can entrust my life to them because they will never betray me, never turn their back on me. I know that they will burn the world for me, and that if the whole world turns against me they will still stand by my side and fight against the world with me. I like every part of them — the parts they are proud of and the parts they hate." His voice drops to a whisper. "But I cannot understand what they like about me. They look at me and see 'Silco', not a miner, not Vander's shadow, not a 'dirty little thing' but I am not like Vander — a strong fighter with a heart as big as his size. I am not like Felicia — sociable, gentle and kind. All I can do is plot from the shadows, skulk about at celebrations, stare at my notebook as my friends chatter the night away. I am only a 'dirty little thing', not someone to be so devoted to, cherished, or loved."

A lump forms in your throat at his words. To hear him tear himself apart, believe the things enforcers and those who hate him say about him, it makes your heart ache.

"I think they like you because of how passionate you are about the dream of Zaun." You swallow hard, struggling to find the correct words to say. "They like the way you dare to dream big, the way you strive to become more than what others think you are. They like the way you persevere through it all, the determination in your eyes that drives you each and every day. It gives them hope, encourages them to dream of what can be, makes them fall in love with you over and over again. They like the way you fight for what you hold dear, no matter the odds you face."

He shakes his head, biting his lip as tears begin form.

"They like you because of how much you care about those you love, even if you don't ever show it through words. They like the way you smile contentedly as you quietly listen to friends banter, rolling your eyes when they say something dumb and drop the wittiest line whenever you do say something. They like the way you struggle to get properly mad at them for doing something stupid, the annoyed sigh you make as you massage the bridge of your nose when you find out they've done the very thing you told them not to and the way you always threaten to leave them to suffer the consequences alone but never do. They like the smile that forms on your face when you're proud of them, the way the corners of your eyes crease when you're happy." You don't recall when you took his hand in yours but it sits there now, nestling warmly as your fingers intertwine.

"They like the quiet laugh you make when something amuses you, the messy bedhead that they always see first thing in the morning, the sleepy mumbles that fall from your lips as you stumble towards the bathroom. They like the smell of the coffee that you make, the way you bring it to them in their bed piping hot and freshly made, the gentle kiss you press to their forehead after that. They like the way you lie down on their stomach, face buried in their shirt when you're tired. They like the moments when it's complete silence but it's a comfortable silence. They like the way your first thought is always them, even when you're drunk." You pull him into a hug, the first one you've ever initiated and he freezes for a moment before returning the hug, burying his face into your shoulder.

"They like the way you're always there for them, the way you always know when something's wrong, the way you always know how to cheer them up. They like how you've memorised all their favourite things, their habits, and always surprise them with little gifts." His tears stain your sleeve, causing the damp fabric to stick to your skin but you don't care. You gently rub his back, a motion that you've since learned brings him great comfort and hear him sniffle.

"They like the way your palm fits into theirs just nice, the sound of your heart beating, the warmth of your body pressed against theirs underneath the blanket, and they want nothing more. They just want you for who you are, want you as you are, love you as you are because to them you're amazing, you're their whole world, their everything. And they're glad to know you feel the same way too." You nuzzle into his hair, holding him tightly.

He clings onto you, gripping onto your shirt as the tears flow and his body shakes with each sob. You simply continue holding him, giving him all the time he needs to let everything out and soon he's cried himself to sleep in your arms. You gently tuck him into your bed before dipping under the covers yourself, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"I love you Silco. Always have and always will."

[helluvagirlboss]

With S2 over l wanna see what we’ve gotten so far!

1. We got something of a Stolitz duet in “Mastermind” and as great as that was, I’d like to see a duet where they’re actually singing to each other and are the only ones singing.

2. We got that Octavia solo in “Sinsmas” and she killed it! Still waiting on the duet with Stolas and given how things ended with them, that is for sure going to be a song that breaks our hearts, especially if they take inspiration from “More Than Anything” from Hazbin.

3. With the reveal of Millie’s pregnancy, I’m getting the feeling that that Moxillie duet I had hoped for is looking pretty likely. And a proper duet would be a fantastic way to explore their relationship now that they’re out of the honeymoon phase.

Now that we’ve covered ground with what has been made canon, I’ll add some more songs I’d genuinely like to see.

11. A Blitz and Barbie Wire duet, assuming Barbie’s VA can sing. There’s so much about their dynamic that could be communicated through song and I’d be stoked to see it.

12. A trio number between Millie, Moxxie, and Blitz for the funsies. This show started with them, I think it’s only fair that we get to focus back on their dynamic for a while.

13. And under that umbrella, I hope Millie and Moxxie each get a proper duet with Blitz, because like I said, the series started with them, and it’s only fair that we get to see it explored more.

14. Another Octavia song where we get to learn more about her as a person. Honestly we need to explore more of Octavia’s character in general and I’m hoping that’s what S3 is for. Also because her VA, Barrett Wilber Weed, is a legend. But if “I Will Be Okay” is the only Octavia solo we get, I’ll be fine with that too.

15. And in that vein, a duet between Loona and Octavia. These two have a lot in common but also they have a world of differences, with an even larger class divide than Stolas and Blitz. I think a duet between them would be a great way to express their dynamic and how they meet in the middle.

16. More villain songs in general. Striker. Andrealphus. Stella. Satan. Give me all of them lol.

17. If they can get all the Sins (barring Lucifer because Amazon Prime sucks) in a room, I wanna see what a group number between all of them would look like because that would be cool as hell and probably be very funny.

18. A lullaby song by Tilla, not exactly like “You Will Be Okay” but a song that shows us what kind of mother she was to Blitz and Barbie. A song that gives us more reasons to care about her.

19. A battle song between Blitz and one of the main villains, preferably either against Striker or Satan. Other than the Loona and Millie duet, this is the one that I think is least likely to happen, but I’m allowed a little self indulgence, okay?

20. A Blitz solo song, preferably a more serious one. Of all the main characters in this series, Blitz has sung the least (second only to Loona) and that’s most likely due to Blitz being allergic to vulnerability. So the first time Blitz gets a solo, I want it to be, not necessarily a ballad, but a chance for us to see how far he has come in letting his walls down. Because once he sings on his own, he will be bearing his soul to us.

Once we get halfway through S3 I’ll update this with either more song hopes or to go over what has been made canon.

Helluva Boss Songs I Hope To See in the Future

1. Another Stolitz duet, whether it be romantic as hell or if it’s the extremely “make-you-blush-while-listening-to-it” horny song that Sam Haft teased for S3.

2. I want Octavia to either have a solo or have a duet with Stolas. Based on the S2b trailer I believe we’re probably getting a Via solo so that’s great, but a duet with Stolas would be heartwarming (or heartbreaking depending on what Viv decides to do to us lol).

3. A proper Millie/Moxxie duet, one similar to “Crooked” between Fizz and Asmodeus. We haven’t had a proper one since “Oh Millie” from the pilot and since the pilot is no longer canon, a true blue duet between the two is lone overdue (I swear I didn’t intend for that to rhyme lol).

4. While I know Erica Lindbeck confirmed we’re getting a Loona solo next season, I would also love for her to have a duet with Blitz because I feel the show would benefit from Loona showing and telling her dad how much he means to her.

5. A Blitz and Fizzarolli duet. This is one is less serious than the previous ones, I just want it because I think it would be funny as hell and I wanna see these two have a good time.

6. A villain song where Stella is manipulating Via, think “Mother Knows Best” from Tangled vibes. I think it would be great for Stella to establish herself as an intelligent and formidable villain, and not just a raging bitch.

7. Jumping off that I would also love a villain duet between Andrealphus and Stella because I think it would be fun.

8. A song battle between Moxxie and Striker. I just wanna see these two face off again music style especially if it’s during a physical brawl.

9. A Millie and Loona duet because I wanna see more of their dynamic.

10. And finally a group number by I.M.P. We’re long overdue for a badass group number from the members of this wacky murder business and I’d be hyped.

And that’s all for now! I’m sure I’ll think of more! Let me know what you guys think :)

[multiheadcanons]

TF2 MERCS AND ACHE

scout: his face twists up. it’s hard to keep his nose from sneering and his lips from turning to a scowl. walks around with balled fists and his eyes glued to the floor. jaw clencher. eerily quiet. a rare moment where he is non-combative. he sits in his room in silence, knees drawn to his chest while he stares holes in the wall

soldier: another eerily quiet sadness. waits patiently for someone to give him something to do. if there’s nothing to do, he’ll sit in the mess hall with an empty plate and wait for someone to talk to him. he just can’t bring himself to make the first move to talk to another person. grabs at his chest and frowns, occasionally giving his heart a gruff rub from the outside. a simple pull of his lips down further than they normally are.

pyro: just lights things on fire and sits in the bright heat until it’s all they feel. they don’t normally feel aches like this anymore. and everything is at risk of the flame while they feel this way. stares at their gloved hands for too long. huffs and shakes their head a lot. their imaginations aren’t strong enough to shield what they see sometimes, and they get mad about it.

engineer: hermit. sits outside, as far away as he can get from the base so he can sigh and worry without feeling like he’s bringing the energy down. he knows his coworkers aren’t the chatty kind in this sense. this is when his intelligence fails him. when he has to think about his philosophies; and when he has to sit in ache. hates the chest ache. hates that it won’t go away. eventually returns to the base, seemingly normal.

heavy: he’ll actually open up to someone about it; be it medic or demo…. anyone. anyone who will listen. if only for his small updates. “my heart aches.” “i ache for home.” will call his sisters if he can; it’s just not enough sometimes. he wants his family to hold and love. his team is just not enough sometimes, love them as he may. sometimes his family isn’t either. he’s never sure what he needs; he just knows he’s not getting it here right now.

demo: will turn to drink if it’s that bad. otherwise, aching is good for the heart. reminds him he’s here, he’s living, even if he doesn’t know what for yet. refuses to get jokes. unusually combative and confrontational before he can admit he’s hurting. when he’s willing to admit it, he feels a lot better just knowing his teammates know. doesn’t remove the ache, but it eases it a little.

medic: ache hits him as he’s in the throes of action. it’s his falter. sentences trail off; he gets lost somewhere in his mind. quiet, unsettled “huh”s and “hm”s. gets bad ocular migraines, until he’s rendered effectively useless, laying on the surgery table in darkness to ease his head any way he can. almost always hits in battle. has walked into direct fire from the fog that clouds his mind. paces. sits in the respawn room for hours in the hopes someone is sent there, forced to speak to him in a somewhat natural way.

sniper: always plays out the same way. he’ll sit in a dimly lit room. takes his hat off and sighs. stares at the hat in his hands, and buries his face in his hands until his palms are wet with tears. sniffles, wipes his eyes, and continues on his day. quiet and tired, but that’s never new. this is a daily occurrence since he got to teufort. sometimes he’ll even be friendlier. easier to get along with so he can feel less weird and messy. he craves normalcy. this has led to some interesting fiascos in his friendliness and willingness to do anything other than sit alone.

spy: another hermit. easily annoyed and fast to argue and fight, and he’s knows that so he stays in his room; knees pulled to his chin, as he stares holes in the wall. hands remain balled when they’re not fidgeting with something. restless. plays with his knife until it slips from his hands, then gets mad at it. gets mad at everything. a sneerer. jaw sets firmly.

[kroovv]

previous anon here: dorian's predatory business practices are a lot like wattpad's if you know anything about that—they pocket a huge portion of the proceeds for every VN they publish and only give very few pennies to the actual authors, essentially using other people's work to line their own pockets, while pretending to provide a great platform for artists. Last I heard they also have terms that say whatever you upload to them becomes their property IP. it's the kind of situation where they convince artists its the easiest option for publishing a VN, when in reality there are other ways that are just as or even more simple that allow u to keep full ownership of ur work. I also have a grudge against them specifically because they bought up an indie VN studio that I was a fan of, put previously free stuff behind a paywall and otherwise ran it into the ground, and their social media people were very unprofessional and sent threatening messages to fans for making fan content.

Renpy takes some learning, but it's really simple once you know how it works. And besides renpy there are other VN engines that are even simpler (Unity even has a VN library called Fungus thats very simple and straightforward to use) TyranoBuilder is also a popular one. As for chapters, there are absolutely people on itchio updating their VNs a chapter at a time, although i dont know if its in the way youd want; pushing each separate chapters as updates to the main game, or releasing each chapter as a separate game come to mind as options.

(i'd honestly even offer to convert the game to renpy for you since ive been working extensively with renpy for the past 2 years and am very familiar with it and how to work it, if it meant i could save one artist from the clutches of dorian, but that feels too much like overstepping 😅)

So i am not sure if maybe they have changed things, but with games self published to them they own 0% of that IP so I will own Gravehearts 100% only if they where to buy it from me then they’d own it but i personally do not see that happening lmao. From what i understand about it is it is like Webtoons but for VNs anyone can upload to it but they still own it like how i still own Horizon Walkers even though it’s on Webtoons and Tapas. They do take a % of what you make so that is why I would love to also have my own app or game on itch as well!

I have a decent following for my artwork but who knows what that vendiagram is for people who like VNs is, so if i where to publish the game somewhere by itself i don’t know how well it would do because I don’t know if i have the audience for it, also i don’t know if people would even see it when i post about it cause social media sucks. So like posting HW to webtoons so that people who read comics might see it that’s what I am kind of hoping for with posting Gravehearts to Dorian.

Again with Gravehearts i own it 100%, with publishing games there you can chose when and where people pay for things, and people do paywall love interests and main story stuff but i fully do not intend to do that because it is ✨shitty✨. So I will not be putting any main story or love interests behind paywalls the only thing I would do as paid stuff are optional scenes with a character where you can get a nice full art piece of them from it! (Im also trying to figure out if i could put some kind of code on the image so people can download high res versions of it as phone wallpapers! So you’re actually paying for something more tangible)

However like i said previously i would love to make my own app for it, or something like an app or on itch, but i could maybe try do it in tangent with Dorian, so people who don’t want to support them can still support the story somewhere else! But it might take a little while for me to be able to do something like that because it’d be learning a whole bunch of new stuff and it is just me but I will do my best 👍

[ekgfiction]

Hi, I'm back?

...Hello everyone ! This is a very much needed update after a long time of not posting... sorry.

First of all, thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who sent me a kind message, you are angels and I'm so sorry it took me this long to answer your questions.

For those who don't wish to read a long text that looks too much like a page from my diary, here is the summary. I'm officially back working on OLYMPUS. I don't promise you much, but one update a month for now (not necessarily a game update, but an update on me working on the game...yay?).

My 4 goals for January are a lot of ground:

Finish the character pages

Relearning twine

Update the outdated info on Tumblr / itch.io

Fix prologue (because of changes in the outline)

And for those who are nosy like me and want to understand what I was doing until now, buckle up !

I started this blog in the summer of 2021 and posted the demo for OLYMPUS exactly three years ago, in 2022. At the time, I was living alone in the US, with no life outside of work and this project, which was very dear to me. It was my first "real" creative project I wanted to be serious about. I was also very depressed, being alone and away from friends and family sucked.

When I came back to France in the summer of 2022, I was determined to work on the game again. But then, real adult life happened ! My health issues, that I didn’t understand yet, started to really affect me. I lost two dear family members, saw my best friend become a mother and discovered that being a teacher is a fucking hard job. I was an intern teacher and had a final exam at the end of the school year to be a "real" teacher. So I focused on that, and it was a success. A couple of days after that, I decided to go back to OLYMPUS, and that’s when my laptop broke.

The one I had since I was 18 years old. Which contained not only all my class materials from my first year as a teacher, but also my essays and memories of my college years, and all my writing. And I mean, all my writing. From my very first bad fan fiction on Amour Sucré (or My Candy Love in English) that I wrote when I was a teenager and that I managed to save on my laptop, to all my documents on OLYMPUS, a project which had 5 years at this point. I was devastated.

Moving to the Paris suburbs for work didn’t help. I was finally back living somewhere close to my friends and family, when my job made me move far away again, to one of the most expensive and yet hardest place to work as a teacher in France. Because of the very high rent, I was first in a shared apartment, which was not the greatest. Work was even harder to manage. At the end of 2023, I felt stuck, watching life around me move forward while I barely kept up.

In 2024, things began to shift. I let go of some things and people, but made new friends, joined a DnD group, traveled, and even saw Dimension20 live in London (how crazy is that !). I moved out of my shared apartment into a cozy studio, traveled around France to see my loved ones, and finally got a diagnosis for my autoimmune disease, which helped me understand and manage my health. I also bought a new computer and started writing again !

Not on OLYMPUS though, no. Not at first.

The thought of returning to it felt overwhelming. The asks in my inbox, the followers, and the questions on itch.io made it feel like an impossible task. I convinced myself it was too ambitious of a project for a beginner like me. That no one cared anymore—not even me. It’s better if it stays a a silly little daydream I think about on my way to work.

Then, someone left me a kind comment asking if I was still working on the game. It wasn’t the first time someone asked me that, but something clicked. I thought of the me that posted the demo in 2022, how she felt and how I feel now. Maybe, if I started again now, it would be alright? I feel better, healthier. Instead of seeing the project as a burden, something I didn’t accomplish, a very public failure, I wanted to give it another shot. And if I failed again, so what? At least I'd tried. I don't to give up on this story.

I had to start from scratch of course, because everything but the demo on itch.io was lost. Rewrote the world building and the outline. I haven’t finished everything, but I finally feel like I am at a good place to start working on it again. Like, actually working, writing it. Not just my world building, or the outline. I am sure I made a lot of changes from plans I had before, and will probably change it again at some point. But that’s fine. You're pretty much having the first draft of the game anyway, and it'll be easier to rework things than to start anew every time.

This time, I’m being realistic: I’ve set aside four hours a week to write, balancing work, hobbies, friends, family, and my health. It doesn’t sound like much, but to me it sounds manageable, and adaptable to my work and my health. It means I could update you once a month on things I plan to do and have done.

So, for January ! The plan is to finish the character pages, which should take a week. Then, I want to spend some time on twine to relearn how to use it and eventually redo the prologue to fit the new outline. I also have to update itch.io and tumblr as well. Basically, a lot of ground work to let me start the final week of January with the first work path of chapter 1.

Anyway, if you read everything and reached this far, omg thank you so much and sorry I know it was way too long.

Really, thank you. I can't explain how much you, and all of this means to me. Your likes, comments, asks kept this project alive when I didn't believe in it nor in myself.

Love, Elena

[tortillamastersblog]

Back To You - Part 8 | Sam Carpenter

Pairing: Sam Carpenter x reader

Warnings: mentions of violence, death, blood, injuries, and swearing

Summary: When Sam left after turning eighteen, you were devastated. You’d been in love with her since you were kids and her leaving meant you never got to tell her how you truly felt.

Fast forward a couple of years, Tara gets attacked and Sam returns. . .

Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist

_______________________________________________

I open my eyes and stop leaning against the bus window to my right when my music stops and my phone starts ringing.

Our team’s physical therapist, Jackson, cracks an eye open next to me before settling back into his seat. We’re about the same age and he and I have been friends since he helped me get back in shape for hockey while recovering from my Ghostface injuries.

I pull out my phone and chuckle softly at the incoming video call from Tara.

“Hey,” I answer with a tired smile. “How’s it going?”

Tara’s face lights up at the sight of me. “Hi! It’s going great! We just finished unboxing everything and Sam is out to grab some lunch. How are you?”

I adjust my headphones a bit so I can lean back against the window. “Good, but tired. We’re just getting back from a game.”

“Did you win?” she asks with a raised eyebrow and when I nod her smile brightens.

It’s been two months since I moved from Woodsboro to Boston and since then a lot has changed.

Sam moved into my old apartment when Christina Carpenter kicked her out which led to Tara cutting ties with her mother as well, and now they’re both living there with me being their landlord since I own the place.

I didn’t ask for any rent at first when Sam started living there because she had trouble finding a job, but now she works at a local gym an old friend of my dad’s owns, and she insists on paying some rent.

Other than that the two of them keep me updated on each other’s wellbeing and Sam has really proven that she wants to make things up to me by constantly checking in on me. She also helped me move my classes online and even went so far as to take care of putting flowers on my parents grave on the anniversary of their death a month ago.

We have yet to talk about our feelings for each other —more like my feelings for her— but it just seems wrong to do it over the phone.

Good thing I’m visiting them over Christmas in two months. I’m super nervous about getting everything out in the open, but we have to talk.

I can’t not know how she feels anymore. Either she straight up tells me she doesn’t feel the same way which would hurt but give me closure, or she’ll tell me she likes me back which would be. . . good? I guess? Just because she likes me back doesn’t mean she wants to get into another relationship right away, right? I mean, do I even want to get into a relationship right away?

God, I’m getting ahead of myself.

“Do you want a tour of the apartment?” Tara asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Sure.” I chuckle. I doubt a lot has changed since I didn’t take any of my furniture with me, but I’m sure Tara has taken it upon herself to decorate the place to her liking and I kind of want to know how she’s turned the former guest room into her own room.

She switches the camera on her phone and starts showing me everything, pointing out little details here and there as she moves through the rooms.

Jackson, at one point, waves his hand to get my attention and mouths Girlfriend? while gesturing at my phone and I shake my head.

I mute myself for a moment and turn my phone so Tara can’t see me if she looks at the screen.

“It’s just Tara,” I explain which makes him smile knowingly.

“Ah. . . So the girlfriend’s little sister,” he teases and even though he doesn’t know all too much about Sam and me, he knows the gist of it from Liam and Paige who have met him on more than one occasion while visiting me.

They get along great with Jackson and I love it even though they bond over teasing me. Too bad Liam and Paige are still in Woodsboro. They plan on moving to the east coast some time soon as well though because Liam got a job offer in New York and Paige wants to move in with her long distance girlfriend who lives in Portland.

“Shut up, Sam’s not my girlfriend,” I argue weakly, feeling my cheeks turn red.

Jackson shoves me playfully. “Yet,” he teases and I just shove him back before unmuting myself and focusing back on Tara.

“And finally, my new room,” she says, going on with the tour without realizing that I wasn’t paying attention for a second ago.

“Looks good, Sprout,” I compliment. “I like the fairy lights behind the bed.”

Tara turns the camera again and beams at me. “Thank you. It was Sam’s ideas. She’s going to get some for her room, too.”

“Nice.” I nod in approval and smile sadly. “Man, I miss you guys.”

Them being on the other side of the country and in an entirely different time zone has made it difficult to stay in touch, but we try our best even though talking over the phone is just not the same as seeing each other in person.

Tara’s face softens and she takes a seat on her bed, pouting. “We miss you, too. It’s weird not having you around all the time, but we’ll see each other soon. I already got you your Christmas present.”

That makes me laugh and the homesickness that I was feeling a moment ago fades a little. “Oohh, can’t wait to find out what it is. Speaking of, do you know what I could get Sam? I already have something for you in mind, but I have no idea what to get her.“

Jackson leans over, obnoxiously mimicking kissing someone and I shove him away with a playful glare before looking back at Tara who is too lost in thought to notice my momentary distraction.

“Hmm. I don’t know. There’s this necklace she showed me a while ago that she likes, but I can’t remember where it was from. I can ask her about it though,” she says and I’m quick to nod.

“That would be great, but don’t make it obvious. She can’t suspect anything!” I warn which makes her roll her eyes good-naturedly.

“I won’t, I promise. This isn’t my first rodeo.”

I chuckle. “Good.”

2 months later. . .

I’m finally back in California and as I make my way through the airport’s parking lot to my rental car I can’t help but relish in the warm breeze that rustles some nearby trees.

I’ve come to love Boston and my new friends and teammates, but it’s just so goddamn cold there, especially now right before Christmas.

I was supposed to fly in tomorrow, on the 25th, but I changed my flight two days ago to surprise Sam and Tara, hence why I had to get a rental car instead of the two of them picking me up.

I finally get to the car and shove my bags into the trunk with little effort. I’m so glad I’m no longer injured because if I was, this whole thing would be extremely difficult.

Everything healed nicely, leaving behind nothing but scars, and I can happily live with that. They serve as a reminder that I managed to help Sam and Tara survive Ghostface and that we all made it out alive. The scar on my spine is a different story. I’ve hated it ever since I got it because it reminds me that my parents are dead and that I came close to being paralyzed, both things that I’d rather forget.

I shut the trunk with a satisfying thump, and get into the car, putting on some sunglasses to shield my eyes from the setting sun before pulling out of the parking lot.

The drive to my old apartment is familiar and even though there’s a lot of traffic since it’s Christmas eve, I manage to get home just as the sun goes down, leaving behind a faint orange glow in the sky.

I grab my stuff from the trunk and head into the apartment building, smiling at one of my old neighbors when he recognizes me and opens the door for me.

Okay, this is it.

I smile when I get to the third floor and set my bags down to knock at the familiar door.

I think of how weird it is to knock at my once own door, but that thought quickly vanishes when Tara opens the door ever so slightly, peeking through the gap.

“Oh my God!” She squeaks happily when she realizes it’s me and closes the door again to undo the chain before opening it properly. “Hi!”

“Hey, Sprout. Merry Christmas.” I barely have time to prepare myself for the bone crushing hug she pulls me into, but I’m definitely not complaining. I chuckle and lift her off her feet, spinning around before setting her down again.

“Tara, who’s at the door?” Sam’s voice from inside the apartment makes my stomach fill with butterflies and when she pokes her head around the corner my smile widens.

“Hey.”

Her jaw drops at the sight of me and as soon as I’ve let go of Tara she’s rushed over to hug me as well. Her hug is tame compared to Tara’s, but it’s still comforting and I can’t help but lift her off her feet for a second as well.

“What are you doing here? You weren’t supposed to get in until tomorrow. Did something happen?” she asks in disbelief when I pull back and I don’t miss the way her eyes dart all over my face as if checking for injuries.

My smile softens and I squeeze her in my arms one more time before separating from her completely. “Nothing happened, Sammy. I just wanted to surprise you guys.”

“You did,” Tara says, completely oblivious to the way her sister’s cheeks turn red at my use of her old nickname.

It honestly just slipped out, but I can’t say I’m displeased with the reaction it garnered.

“Yeah,” Sam mumbles, smiling shyly. She tucks her hair behind her ears and picks at the black sweater she’s wearing. “Why don’t you come in? We were just about to start dinner.”

I nod and pick up my bags, following the two of them into the apartment.

Not much has changed since I left because most of the furniture is the same, but Tara did do some decorating and there are different pictures on the walls.

There’s also a decorated christmas tree in the corner of the living room that glows in the low light and makes me smile.

I never put one up when I was living here because I always spent Christmas at Liam and Paige’s place anyway.

“Dinner’s almost ready,” Sam says nervously which makes me turn to look at her in the kitchen. Tara momentarily vanished into her room which explains Sam’s sudden nervousness. The dining table between us is set beautifully with candles and some more Christmas decorations and until now I hadn’t noticed the soft music coming from a speaker nearby. “Why don’t you- uh— freshen up while Tara and I finish up in the kitchen?”

I get a sense of deja vu since not even four months ago I was saying something similar to her, but I nod without bringing it up, taking note of how awkward things suddenly are between us.

We don’t act like this over the phone, but over the phone we usually don’t see each other unless Tara turns it into a video call, and we usually keep things polite.

This seems more. . . intimate even though nothing’s happening.

“Sure. I’ll be right back. Thanks.” I excuse myself and go to the bathroom, taking one of my bags with me.

I could really use a shower after my long flight, so I quickly strip as soon as I’ve locked the door behind me and get into the shower.

The hot water helps to get rid of the residual cold that somehow still clings to me from Boston, and once I get out of the shower I put on a shirt and a hoodie to make sure it also stays away.

I finish dressing and go to leave the bathroom again, but then my eyes get caught on a small orange pill bottle on the floor next to the sink.

I crouch down and pick it up, realizing it’s Sam’s when I see her name on the lable.

Her antipsychotics.

I take a closer look for a moment before shrugging and placing them on the counter next to the sink where they were probably knocked down from.

It doesn’t freak me out that she has to take them, or that she sees visions of Billy because I know they’re just that— visions, and she herself has said that she’d never hurt Tara or me because of them.

I can tell that they’re tiring though because of how resigned she was when she talked about them the last time, and I make a mental note to ask her how she’s dealing with them now.

“Ah, finally!” Tara exclaims when I make my way back into the living room. She’s sitting at the head of the dining table with a steaming bowl of pasta in front of her and a fork in hand, ready to dig in. Sam is sitting to her right, also with a bowl of pasta in front of her, but unlike Tara, she doesn’t seem to be as eager to start eating.

“I was gone for like five minutes,” I defend myself with a smile which makes Sam smile, too. “And you could have started without me, you know that.”

Tara immediately shoves a forkful of pasta into her mouth and shakes her head. “Nu-uh” she mumbles, “Sam made me wait for you.”

I laugh softly and join them at the table. “Well, I’m here now.”

Tara just hums in agreement and continues eating while Sam waits for my reaction to the food after I’ve had my first bite before diving in herself.

“This is great.” My eyes widen in surprise at the taste and I immediately eat another forkful before asking, “You guys made this?”

Sam nods but Tara shakes her head again, pointing her thumb at her older sister. “Sam did. I just watched and set the table.”

Damn. Who knew she could cook like that. I mean, her pancakes were great and all, but I didn’t know she could actually cook like this.

My eyes find Sam’s and when I raise my eyebrows expectantly she finally gives in and shrugs timidly, her eyes avoiding mine.

“It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just some pasta.” She deflects with red cheeks, trying to downplay her skills.

That makes me nudge her foot under the table, prompting her to look at me again. “Maybe. But it’s still delicious.”

I smile and she turns even more red, saying, “Thank you.”

I watch her with fondness as she nervously tucks her hair behind her ear before eating.

“Come on, move. Let me do something,” I complain, trying to get Sam to move away from the sink.

Dinner was delicious and we all helped ourselves to a second serving. Now, Tara is in her room, talking to Chad and Mindy on the phone while Sam and I are in the kitchen doing the dishes.

Well, Sam is doing the dishes. I want to help, but she keeps refusing and telling me to just go relax after my long flight.

“I told you, I’ve got it,” she shoots back, nudging me with her hip, but I’m not having it.

It’s obvious that I can’t persuade her to let me do something, so I’ll just have to manhandle her out of the way.

“Seriously, Y/N, just—Hey!” She squeaks in surprise when I wrap my arms around her from behind and lift her up, carrying her away from the sink before setting her back down.

“You cooked, and Tara set the table, so I’ll do the dishes.” I raise an eyebrow, daring her to object but she finally gives in with a sigh. Her cheeks are once again red and for a moment she doesn’t meet my eye, but when she does, I simply smile at her and get to work on the dishes.

“Do you— I don’t know— Want some coffee or tea?” she asks and even though I don’t want either I nod, understanding her need to do something.

“Tea would be nice,” I say and for the next minute or so a silence settles over us as we both do our thing.

I’m just drying my hands after putting away the last plate when Sam joins my side again with a cup of tea in hand.

“Here you go.” She hands it to me with a small smile and I take it, mumbling a thanks as I raise it to my lips to take a sip.

“So. . .” I lean against the counter. “How are you?”

Sam hugs herself and mirrors my position against the counter. “Okay, I guess. Can’t really complain,” she says, but the way she avoids my eyes with her own tells a different story.

“You sure?” I push slightly, knowing that Tara is still in her room and there’s no chance of her overhearing something Sam potentially doesn’t want her to hear.

Sam shrugs helplessly without really answering, so I set down my tea and step closer.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask softly touching her forearm which makes her look up.

I’m surprised to find her eyes filled with tears. “I. . . Can I have a hug?” she asks quietly and before any tears can escape her eyes I pull her into a hug, resting my chin on top of her head.

Sam lets out a shuddering sigh and sinks into the hug, the smell of her perfume making my heart flutter involuntarily.

The hold this girl has on me is incredible. . .

“What’s going on?” I whisper, running my hands up and down her back.

“Everything’s been just a lot lately, you know? The fight with my mom, being back here, the move. . . not to mention the whole Ghostface shit I’m still trying to get over a-and Richie—“ My hands still on her back at the mention of his name, but I stay quiet, letting her air out her thoughts, “— I still can’t believe he was behind everything. I really liked him and he just threw it in my face and I-I feel like it’s my fault Tara and you were almost killed. I mean people did die because of me. Wes, his mom, Dewey. . .”

I raise a hand to the back of Sam’s head and run my fingers through her hair. It used to help calm her down when we were kids, so I’m hoping it’ll do the same now.

“Sam, no one died because of you.” I hug her tighter. “Richie and Amber killed people because of their fucked up dream of making a new Stab movie. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But Billy—“

“Is your father, yes,” I cut her off. “But just because he is doesn’t mean what happened is your fault. It’s Richie’s and Amber’s. They killed all those people, not you. You’re nothing like them and you’re nothing like your father.“

Sam shivers and pulls back a little to look at me. “I might not have killed Wes and the others,” she whispers with tears still in her eyes, “but I did kill Richie and—“ she looks away, ashamed, “—it felt right doing it. It felt. . . good, stabbing him. It felt so fucking good, and I just couldn’t stop a-and that scares me.”

I tilt my head with furrowed eyebrows and cup her face with my hands, her brown eyes doubtful, yet hopeful that I’ll be able to assuage her guilt somehow. “I get it. You think that makes you a monster, but I‘d been surprised if you didn’t feel that way. Richie took so much from you. He betrayed you and hurt you in more ways than one, and he hurt Tara and me. . . He was about to kill all of us, but you stopped him. Yes, you killed him, but there was no other way. He would’ve just kept coming for us if you didn’t, so of course it felt good to kill him— to know that he’d never be able to hurt anyone ever again.”

A single tear rolls down Sam’s cheek and I’m quick to wipe it away before she hugs me again, burying her face in the crook of my neck.

She’s breathing shakily and I once again run my fingers through her hair, resting my cheek against her temple.

“Thank you,” she mumbles. “You always know how to make me feel better.”

I smile sadly and hold her tighter. “You’re welcome.”

If I could have killed Richie for her I would have done it in a heartbeat, but I didn’t and now she has to live with it. She killed him to save herself and to save the rest of us and I hate that she feels guilty for doing it.

We keep hugging for a couple of moments, silently holding each other until she chuckles quietly against the side of my neck.

“I think my therapist would hate you.”

I pull back and smile at her, glad to see that she’s no longer crying. “How come?”

“Because she’s been saying the exact same thing every since I started seeing her, but I didn’t believe it until you just said it,” she admits with a sheepish grin that makes me laugh.

I raise an eyebrow. “Well, shouldn’t she love me then?”

Sam just shrugs and rests her hands on my chest, playing with the strings of my hoodie right as Tara comes walking into the kitchen.

“You guys wanna watch a movie or something? Chad and Mindy say hi, by the way,” she says without commenting on the position she finds us in.

Sam is quick to take a step back though, rubbing the back of her neck and turning to make herself a cup of tea as well.

“Yeah, movie sounds good,” I say, unbothered, picking up my own tea.

Sam simply hums in agreement without turning around, which makes Tara smile and skip to the living room.

I stir, feeling myself wake up at the sensation of something being draped over me.

It’s dark, I notice when my eyes flutter open, and I realize that I must have fallen asleep sometime during the movie.

There’s no sign of Tara, but Sam’s standing over me, adjusting the blanket she draped over me so it covers my feet.

She hasn’t realized I’ve woken up, and I don’t want her to feel bad about waking me, so when she turns back to face me I quickly close my eyes again and pretend I’m still asleep.

There’s some shuffling and it takes everything in me not to flinch when Sam’s fingers brush against my forehead a second later, moving some hair out of my face.

She sighs and I think she might say something since she thinks I’m asleep, but she doesn’t.

She does place a delicate kiss to my forehead though, and it’s so surprising that as soon as I’m sure she’s gone into her room, I open my eyes again, touching my tingling forehead where her lips were a moment ago.

We really need to talk.

_______________________________________________

Happy new year, everyone!

We’ll be diving into the plot of the sixth movie in part 10, so enjoy some fluff for now <3

Tag list: @bella423 @artrizzler19 @btay3115 @canyonyodeler @quadofthec @pussyydestroyer @rqizzu @pithod @morganismspam23

[snuffes]

Before the year ends, I want to say thank you for still following me! I know I've barely posted anything in what feels like years. Part of that is me trying to figure out a balance between art and my job.

A much bigger, truer part is that my best friend of 16 years died. The time between finding the brain cancer and her death was less than 3 weeks and all I felt for a long time was a hollow sense of utter unfairness.

Grief is such a strange new part of who I am, and what I've learned is that there's literally nothing new to say about grief. She's gone and I go to work and I live and I do my best and she's gone and I'll have to do that forever because she'll be gone forever.

Since then it's been almost impossible for me to paint or draw. Like my hands don't remember how to hold the pen and I find no meaning in it at all. I'm trying to get it back. I hope it does comes back and I hope I can find some joy in posting and sharing art and finding new interests again.

Right now it's just very hard. But sincerely, if you've read all this, if you're still following me, if you want to see what I'll do from now on,

I hope you get to hold the people that you love and I hope you get to follow whatever brings you joy

happy new year <3

[derpinette]

SPERG YOUR HEART OUT

[reticent-fate]

part 11/26ish

anyone remember those scales with the springs in 'em? all i ever see these days are digital scales but those things made the best noises. i think i've seen some kitchen scales that still use spring mechanisms, but it's been a while.

technology is weird.

from the beginning

[icewindandboringhorror]

Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol

[bmpmp3]

holy FUCK IA's voisona 2.0 is OUT

[candyriku]

finally getting a chance to work on chapter 15 today :-)

[sysig]

You knew it was coming

[netscapenavigaytor]

i probably about to go thruogh my likes again i think.updates on my life:

i have a job (i have had it for like a month or two now i forgot to mention it OOPS) its just dollar general cashier though.

i learned how to solder and fixed my broken xbox (i jumped a power trace it was scary). i feel like i will need more practice if i want to do anything more complex and risky but im happy i succeeded at what i set out to do

still in the ouroboros death spiral of jet set radio headcanon bullshit

im listening to linkin park hybrid theory right now cuz i dont listen to it as often as i oughta. crawling didnt deserve to become a "loledgy" meme song

ive been low energy for too much discord talking because of busy with stuff but hopefully it will normalize again because im no longer thinking about soldering LOL

[crescentfool]

updated my tag list :3c

nothing much, just some additions/rearranging things around!

[cyphertaehyungie]

✨☁️💌🌙💫