#so i wanna maybe try to practice at least a Little tomorrow...

[orcelito]

There are audition videos due in a week for orchestra chair placements. It's not required, but if I want a competitive chair, then I'll have to submit one. And see, I do NOT want to be in first chair. And I probably wouldn't be, tbh. Not with how out of practice I got

...... but there's still that competitive soul in me. I wanna be at least 2nd or 3rd stand. That's my favorite place to be. Not Too much pressure, but still one of the shining stars.

And yknow, I think I could do it. I just need to practice.

[vifilms]

†⠀warnings y disclaimers — eighteen+, sexual content (alluding), jock!abby, soft!abby, simp!abby, stubborn!reader, abby being a tease. part one.

—

jock!abby patience was wearing incredibly thin. she was always having to share you with ellie and she despised the situation just like the fucking brat — the one who demanded all your time and attention. okay, so maybe she was being a bit needy, and really the two of you hadn’t really said you were exclusive, but abby wasn’t with anyone else and didn’t want to be. she was stupidly sweet on you, and the sex was amazing. you were worth it for her to fight a little more.

jock!abby caved when it’s been an entire month and all she got were longing texts from you. saying you missed her but with classes, trying to keep your head above water, and ellie, you just didn’t simply have the time right now. although, abby blushed when you confessed she was important to you and you would see her soon. it’s the only time she’s thankful the interaction is filtered through a screen.

jock!abby called you the night before the game, she was supposed to be sleeping, or at least trying to, but with you on the forefront of her mind it seemed nearly impossible. she was embarrassed, your phone ringing four times, no answer. but on the fifth, you finally picked up. she thought you were ignoring her, avoiding her at the very least. but then you’re honeyed voice drips all over her heart and now it truly feels like the first day of spring.

“You should be sleeping, Abs. You have such an early day tomorrow and you need rest.” “I know, I just-” Abby took a moment to breathe, trying to calm herself enough to not reveal herself as a totally pathetic loser. “I’m so tense, baby. How am I supposed to sleep?” “I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me what has you so…tense.” You question suggestively, your voice lowering an octave. “Well, I haven’t see you in a month, so there’s that.” Abby hints, and you pick up on it immediately. “There’s a line of girls on this campus who would love to ease the tension for you. Pick one, I’m sure you wouldn’t have to go far.” Your tone is bitter, thinking of her with someone else, but you don’t have much room to feel jealousy. Not when Ellie would feel like you stabbed her in the back if she found out about your late night rendezvous with Abby. “Stop it.” Abby barked. “What?” “You’re honestly going to make me say it? When you’re the one who’s been avoiding me? Really going to make me beg for it, baby?” You snap. “I haven’t been avoiding you.” It’s useless now. Abby has you pinned. Honestly, you’re not even upset about it. “You don’t have to lie me. I already know what you want.” “Fine, I’ll bite. What do I want, Abby?” “You want to not like me, right? It’d be easier wouldn’t it? I bet it would. But you like me, sure as hell love fucking me, and that can’t sit well. Not when I’m the enemy, not when I’m so evil and cruel.” You were silent, only heavy breathing could be heard on the phone. “Just tell me to fuck off, tell me I’m mean, tell me I’m the worst and I’ll hang up and you won’t have to talk to me again.” Abby continues, as if she needs to say anymore. “Be a good girl for Ellie, baby. It’s why you’ve deprived me of your pussy, huh? Tell me you don’t want to feel my lips, my tongue, my fingers. Be a good fucking girl and say it.” You were biting your lip, a moan threatening to escape. Pathetic. “I-I don’t, this isn’t…” You choke up, and god you can practically see her grinning. “You don’t want me?” Abby teased. “It’s….god, please Abs.” “You fall asleep in my arms, but then ditch before I can wake up. You don’t wanna see me but text me for weeks how much you miss me. You’re going to have to do better than that. Tell me what you want.” You’re trying to get something out, anything but you can’t seem to form a thought when Abby keeps going on and on, your cunt clenching every time you hear her voice. You’re forgetting why you’ve kept your distance in the first place. “I wanna make you feel good, help with the tension. Baby, please let me.” She finally breaks you, but the both you are smiling and Abby’s light laughter edges into the small cracks of your heart. “Mmmm, baby. Tell me how good it feels to be fucking yourself with your fingers to the sound of my voice. Don't even bother lying this time.”

jock!abby thinks about your breathy moans, the wet sounds of your cunt bouncing through the mic and into her ears. she loves hearing you moan her name out, you’re so desperate for her. so willing to be whatever she wants you too even if it will cost you. abby feels bad, but then she sees you and suddenly she doesn’t care what kind of karma comes her way. if she gets to have you, isn’t it worth the cost?

jock!abby isn’t surprised when you’re knocking on her door three days later. it’s clear what you want or at least she thinks so. it’s almost midnight and abby thought you just want to fuck. she’d be more than happy to oblige. she’d pretty much do anything. you’re as sweet as they get, more than she deserves, but she takes it anyways.

jock!abby catches you with her unwavering strength, your legs wrapped around her waist and your arms locked around neck. you’re whispering how bad you need her, how much you’ve missed her, how shitty your week has been, and the only thing getting you through was telling her all about it. so, she lets you. it’s foolish maybe, but abby can only think with her heart right now, and it really wants to be with you.

[konpeitonom]

general dating/marriage headcanons for jimmy (mouthwashing).

sfw— lowercase intended ^_^

fem reader - trigger warnings for toxic relationship, mentions of child abuse (what i’d assume his backstory would be) this is jimmy so.. general warning for him i guess. curly is mentioned twice because i am in love with him and so is jimmy ngl.

requests are open and heavily encouraged, i write for every mw character ^.^ i have a lot of free time tomorrow so it will get done by then most likely. please send them!!

notes; he’s a raging misogynist so i couldn’t really do g/n reader. i might do male headcanons if people care for such. i’d take awhile though because he/male readers are both a bit hard to write for… haha. eat well the 9 jimmy fans that exist. i hope i did him justice and made him as disgusting as he is!!

— i think he is charming in his own way. i mean, he has to be. he’s kind of the type of guy where you’d cross the street to avoid him, so he has to have some sort of positive aspect that’d make your wanna further the relationship.. no?

— at first he is. very flirtatious and says all the right things. maybe a little off putting, but isn’t every man? i’m trying to focus on the positives because i was so nice to curly in his posts t_t

— calls you sweet nicknames. overtime he kinds of stops, but starts again if he feels you distancing.

— i think he’d be a little rough with you sometimes, and i’d be taken at first as protectiveness. like gripping your hand a little tighter or grabbing your arm.

— when i say curly is a traditional guy i mean he knows to be nice and respectful of woman (to an extent) but jimmy is traditional in a.. misogysntic sense.

— like he’s a ‘sole provider’ kind of guy. at least when you’re married. i’d hurt his ego if you got job, even if it was realistic and practical to. like, “you think i don’t make enough? maybe you just need to shop less” .. if you were just dating/not living together he wouldn’t really care.

— pays for dates but makes you feel kind of bad about it. subtly of course, not enough for you to care but enough to know that maybe you should order a little less or get something cheaper to lessen his harsh comments. but if he notices he’ll think *you think* he’s cheap and get angry at that too.

— if you offer to pay for a date he’d refuse, unless he was in a severe financial situation or the place wasn’t too crowded. he’d still find a way to make you feel bad though.

— sees curly buy his partner gifts and now has to buy you gifts, but x2. sometimes i’d be things you’d like? but also just to make him look good. he isn’t as considerate as his curly. but an expensive gift is a expensive gift, “you’re so ungrateful” he’d say. he is a scumbag sorry.

— things like jewelry. lucky if you like that. he’d consider maybe the kind of jewels or color you like. maybe if you prefer necklaces or rings, earrings. nothing much past that.

— i think he’d open up about about his childhood, either to make you feel bad, make you feel as if you ‘understand him, or just as a genuine he needs it. he was hit as a child, divorced parents, all that. it’s no surpise.

— i don’t think he’d get married to just anyone, though— that’s so much money and commitment that he does not have. i think he’d genuinely have to love someone to go through with that. he does not want to be in a loveless marriage— he’s seen that in his parents already.

— if you end up marrying him (condolences to you) he’d try to get better. he’s a shit person and you both know that. he’d need someone to probably keep him from being an ass. push him around long enough and he just might consider therapy. he’d do it for you.

— he is incredibly insecure. how could a girl like you like him that much. You either have an insane savior complex, or ‘just plain fuckng stupid’. you can’t fix him, but maybe you can make him a smidge better.

[bfictioncorner]

“Come Through the Window, Spend the Night”

Media: Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Rating: 18+ (or R or M)

Pairing: Jennifer Check x fem (afab) reader

Content and warnings: cunnilingus/oral sex, biting mentioned, mommy kink, blood mentioned, sorta cannibalism mentioned, Jennifer having a teasing attitude… mentions of her demonic powers/possession and killing…

Summary: You’ve been wanting to get to know Jennifer a little better throughout all of high school, but now that graduation has come and gone she suddenly seems interested.

Author’s notes: Takes place in the Jennifer’s Body universe as if she never got caught and killed, and just kept doing her thing past graduation. Jennifer is at least 18 or 19 here based off that (and reader is implied to be about the same age). Also there’s a mention of Needy.

Years of color guard and a failed year in cheerleading had you regularly trailing around Jennifer… not intentionally, just circumstantially. Which you didn’t mind at all. Sometimes you spoke casually, even outside of practice, and every time she was sweetly warm (which was saying something, considering she often seemed short to others).

Now that the summer after graduation had rushed upon you, you felt the need to do something to draw closer. There was a magnetism to Jennifer’s presence that skewed what it was you actually wanted to be to her. What were you classified as to begin with? Were you just always gonna be the nice floater friend, or were you trying to reach bestie status? It wasn’t as if she hung around Needy as much anymore…

“Hey, Jen,” you bumbled one day at the end of a post-grad color guard get together. (You didn’t want to be there, but talking to her was the only appeal in it.) “Your hair looks nice. I wanted to ask you where—”

“Yours is too, babes.” She delivered that automatic, white-and-shining performance smile. “I’d like to braid it sometime. It’s so long and smooth.” Her fingers reached out unexpectedly and interlaced with the strands hanging off one of your shoulders. You stiffened at the touch. “You have to tell me what you use! Mane and Tail? Some kind of mask treatment?”

You stumbled, completely taken aback. “Um, well…”

“You can tell me when we do hair together. Wanna come over tomorrow night?”

The urgency to obtain the details of where and when escaped you. “Yes!” was all you could manage.

…And that was how you ended up staying over at Jennifer’s house, sprawling around on her cushy bed late into the night. As promised, she brushed and braided your hair, went into a hair care rant, and then settled into a quiet hum of kicking stuffed animals off the bed and looking through magazines.

The quiet was comfortable enough, allowing you to steal secret glances over the curve of her ear and the black hair that trailed from behind it and over her shoulder… over her chest where the neckline sagged revealingly. Every detail of her form, her presence, made you panting, lips and tongue sticky with dehydration.

“Jen, can I ask you something?” you broached, feeling the need to fill the air. You squirmed around in the purple silk shorts and tank she’d leant you. “Why don’t you hang out with Needy anymore?”

A strange, pallid glaze clouded Jennifer’s eyes, serious and pensive. Her lips moved, a crack in her voice starting and stopping, unsure where to begin. “Sometimes people change. I changed, and Needy didn’t really vibe with it. I maybe also did some not great things… But, like, I had to…”

“Oh, well, I guess that’s part of getting older and growing apart,” you reasoned with a small shrug. Your eyes were hesitant to lock with hers, rushing around everywhere but. “And I’m sure the things you did were hard for her to deal with, but it wasn’t like you killed anyone.”

The flash in Jennifer’s crisp, light eyes—lashes framing and fluttering like thick, black, scalloped lace—appeared remorseful for a brief moment. A blink-and-you-miss-it moment. But that quickly shifted into a playful admittance of guilt. “You know all those murders around here? Specifically all the boys from school that—” Jennifer mimed a slashed throat, drawing her thumb across her neck.

“…Yeah?”

No answer. No verbal confirmation. Just a finger pointing to herself, a sheepish smile to match.

“Bullshit,” you rasped, letting your eyes roll reflexively. “You’re yanking my tail! As if you’re some kind of serial killer…”

“Not a serial killer. I was just… hungry. Like REALLY hungry. Like, on your period hungry.”

“I don’t—” You shook your head, confused.

Jennifer moved as if she was growing impatient in her own explanation. Just cut to the chase. Black hair fanned off her shoulders gracefully as she reached away, into her nightstand drawer, to retrieve a box cutter. It didn’t seem like the type of thing she would own. It also reflected some old red residue crusted on the blade.

Holding up her palm in front of your face, she slashed the thin skin with the angled blade. But as soon as blood had started to drip down in thick trickles, the source had sealed up… making you question what you just saw.

“I’m… different…” she shrugged, tucking a slick chunk of hair behind your ear, something mildly apologetic in her inflection. “I’m… a god…”

“You’re a demon,” you sort of gasped, keeping your tone as light and slightly joking as possible. It was an understatement to say you didn’t know how to react, how to speak… and yet you were drawn in hard.

“Not a demon! Just possessed, silly!” Her sheet-soft expression melded into a giddy grin. The strand she had just tucked behind your ear was now wrapped around her finger. You felt her subtle tug. Every touch was like a carnivore playing with a carcass, or laying claim to some prey.

Your unmasked reaction gave you a hesitant quiver, as if you were winding yourself into a fatal predicament. “God, what are you gonna do to me? Eat me? Drink my blood?” Your tone was surprisingly nonchalant and mocking—so hushed, though desperate. It might have been a mistake if what was concluded about the killing was true… But your time had to come sometime. If you were going to give in, “too late” didn’t matter.

“Eat you, huh?” Jennifer smirked nastily. “All this… softness?” She raked the silken neckline down to expose your breasts, no bra as a barrier. You could feel sticky pink lips and the gentle point of her nose bury into your cleavage. “Gross. How disgustingggggg…” Her voice trailed off, teasing. “You must think I’m some kind of monster.”

Her muffled voice was deliciously appealing, especially the more her lips and tongue suctioned to your skin, sounding oddly vulnerable and messy.

“Maybe I’m into that,” you murmur, biting your lip to maintain control and composure (futile as it would be).

“Say ‘please’,” she whispered against the thin skin against your sternum.

“Please for what?”

Your chest was suddenly cold with the absence of her lips. You could feel your back curve into the plush comforter below, helplessly, warm and suffocating, chest pressing upwards as Jennifer gingerly lowered herself upon you. Her hands braced down your forearms, a gentle sort of touch in her palms, her fingers. There was an itch for violence and domination in the contrasting force put upon you, but all babying smiles the whole while. Her glossy pink and black nails grazed sweetly on your skin, moving from your arms down to your bent legs.

“‘Please’ to start and ‘please’ to stop,” she chimed. In such an impenetrably fast change in position, Jennifer’s body had sort of caged over yours, head lowered to inspect the taper from your ribs to your belly to your hips, and then… “Such a good girl,” her voice fell out, somewhere between a growl and a giggle. She looped her arms under your bent knees in a motion to scoop you under her in a more strategic placement.

“Please?” you stuttered, having an idea where this was going, but nearly blacking out from the reality of it.

“God, so well-behaved too. Mommy likes that.” Her last words trickled off, the whole sentiment nearly lost on you for the fact that her face was buried between your legs, chin somehow pushing the tiny shorts out of her way.

Thighs jolting and cramping all at once, you were sold perpetually on the pleasure and pain of it all. Your eyes remained shut in bumbling, untethered ecstasy, Jennifer’s nose pressing against your clit with just the right pressure… her lips sucking around your soft, fleshy entrance. For a moment, it felt like little pinpricks, little razors, were raking and pushing into your pussy. It didn’t hurt as much as it tortured and overstimulated, causing a greater throb to your clit. You had to convince yourself it was her “regular” teeth and not some fangs that had suddenly sprouted. But you couldn’t be certain of that.

Everything felt muffled as you pushed deeper against the mattress, pink sheets encapsulating your view, skin tacky from the heated friction… Too soon had you felt the warning pressure coursing from your core to further down.

“Jen…” You felt embarrassed, a little shy… Incredibly turned on. “I’m gonna…”

“Go ahead, come for Mommy.” Her command was obstructed by her tongue thickly lapping and curling up from deep within up to the peak of your rosy clit. Saliva strung from her tongue and down her chin like an animal, except her cold eyes had glared at you with wanton intention.

“Please, Jen… Mommy…” you piped up, ashamed, but letting yourself go at the same time. You wanted to squeeze your thighs together at the itching, haze-inducing release, but didn’t dare crush Jennifer’s head. Instead a fragile, satisfied whine escaped, echoing strangely in a voice that didn’t quite sound like your own.

Jennifer’s mouth, glided over your pussy with a final lick, popping off with an unnecessary flair. She dabbed her chin and lips daintily before rearranging her posture and pouncing on you again. “Sorry. I might’ve drawn a little blood, but you tasted so good, babes.”

“I wasn’t sure what kind of, um, eating I was expecting.” You wanted to gulp like a cartoon, adrenaline high and nerves uncertain.

“Don’t worry, I typically only eat boys. But, uh, I can eat you like that again, if you like. Sometime. Whenever….” Jennifer’s blue stare caught yours, her lips curling into a sweet pout, her index finger locked into the spaghetti strap against your clavicle. Her eyes fell to that spot, as if she was considering biting you right there on the collarbone.

“Well, I’m usually free on this night during the week,” you bashfully replied.

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously

parings -> ( eventually ) enhypen x reader genre -> soulmate au, fantasy au, angst warnings -> none ( I think ? ) word count -> 3.3k

abstract -> already rejected once the reader avoided Yang Jungwon but he insists that he wants to try, that doesn’t seem easy with Sooha around.

y/n's perspective

The student council was now split into four. Humans, Hybrids, Vampires, and Magic users.

However, not everyone is happy about integration. There have been many complaints and requests to stop this and school integration in general.

However, they weren’t bad… well except Yang Jungwon. He wouldn’t stop following me around trying to befriend me. He wouldn't accept my rejection despite being friends with Heeseung…

It was strange but I realized he liked that girl. 

She was a half-vampire and human… and his demeanor completely changed with her. He was smiling and joking while with me he only glared at me.

“y/n!” I heard as I saw the vampire student council president. I learned his power was speed. He was super fast so escaping him wasn’t an option. I wouldn’t admit it out loud but… I liked his attention. He would find me every morning and even memorized my breakfast order. His presence was… comforting. 

“Here you go!” he said, giving me my favorite drink. “Thank you,” I said smiling. I admit I was being nicer… it looked like whatever Heeseung felt for that girl, Jungwon didn’t

But his group was always with her… so I didn’t accept him. 

“How’s training the humans?” he asked and I elbowed him. “They’re actually really nice.” I scolded and he chuckled. 

“Jungwon! We have practice!” Heeseung said while yelling at him. I also noticed how she was always at their practice… “Hey, do you wanna come watch?” Jungwon asked and I was shocked but shook my head. I was about to reject him but… 

“You can sit with me!” Sooha said and I sighed.

“I have to meet up with Wonyoung… maybe next time?” I asked hoping there wasn’t a next time. “Oh! You have to come to their game!” she said and Jungwon soon grinned. “Yeah! Please?” he begged and I sighed. “Shouldn’t you go anyway? You’re event planner is gonna be there so should the president” he said and I sighed.

“Fine, I’ll be there,” I said and he grinned. “Jungwon!” Heeseung yelled and the boy scoffed. “Talk to you later, love!” he yelled as Sooha waved happily at me and Heeseung glared. 

What type of love triangle was this?

“Doesn’t Sooha seem a little… much?” Eunchae said as Wonyoung laughed… “She’s their friend and seems to want to be friends with me… now I can't escape his practice,” I said and they both giggled. “But you were given more than one soulmate and at least Jungwon actually likes you,” Eunchae said and she was right.

“Jungwon is your soulmate?” I heard EJ and K. Fuck...

“You didn’t hear anything!” us three yelled as they laughed. “Two soulmates huh?” K asked and I scoffed. “Who?” EJ asked and I refused to speak but… “Heeseung” my roommates spoiled. 

“Oh yeah… that group is quite obsessed with Sooha.” K said and I sighed. “Don’t kid yourself! K’s soulmate is Sooha '' EJ said and I felt my eyes widened. 

“Does she not know?” I asked and they shook their heads. “She’s happy with them.” K said sadly and I sighed.

I knew how he felt. 

“Maki didn’t tell me this,” Wonyoung said as I rolled my eyes. “Sooha!” K said as he looked at the door which opened to reveal… Jungwon and Sooha.

“K! EJ!” she yelled and K shyly smiled and made an excuse as he left. “I’ll talk to you later y/n!” EJ said, chasing after the boy. 

“The game is tomorrow… I thought maybe you could wear my jersey?” Jungwon asked and I saw Wonyoung and Eunchae from the corner of my eye looking at us teasingly. 

“We can be matching! I’m wearing Heeseungs jersey!” Sooha said and it ruined my mood. I then heard Wonyoung scoff. 

“Okay, no one can be that oblivious–” “Sure,” I said as Eunchae covered the angry girl’s mouth. “Oh! Hi, I'm Sooha!” she said to my roommates who didn’t pay any attention to her which seemed to sadden the girl. “Don’t take it personally… those two are quite mean” I said and she sadly nodded. 

“Can I talk to you in private?” Jungwon asked and I sighed. “Maybe later,” I said and he nodded. “Tomorrow?” he asked and I sighed.

“After the game”

jungwon’s perspective

Over the span of three weeks, y/n has been accepting me slowly. I’ve memorized things about her… what she liked and disliked. Recently, however, Sooha has been insistent on befriending her which I knew made my soulmate uncomfortable. 

Everytime the vampire-human appeared, my soulmate's smile would get smaller and her eyes duller. 

Especially when mentioning Heeseung… I knew why.

The bastard rejected her and now she’s been adamant on rejecting me. The four hyungs have ignored what I said about the girl and only Sunoo and Niki have listened to me.

“I just want to be friends with her… so why doesn’t she like me? Nor do her friends even try to hide it” Sooha now cried to the group. I was currently being glared at by the older four. 

“She’s just jealous of you” Jay said and I refrained from scoffing. 

“Sunoo! You know everything… Did I do something to offend her?” Sooha asked and the boy looked at me not knowing what to say. 

“She’s not worth crying over” Jake said and I rolled my eyes at this behavior. “She’s friends with EJ and K… they've recently been avoiding me” she said and I did notice how close the Riverfield council was to the Bright Sun council. 

“Don’t be her friend then.” Sunghoon said and she shook her head. “I wanna be her friend” Sooha said and I sighed. 

If only they told her the truth. They were in love with her… but they had a soulmate. Which is why she doesn’t like her. 

“We should start going to the team, guys!” Niki said and it was time for the game. “Oh, I have to go find y/n!” Sooha said as she ran off. “y/n needs to stay away from Sooha” Jay said and I scoffed. 

“If only Sooha knew why y/n was acting that way” I muttered and they glared at me. “We have a game!” Sunoo reminded and we nodded.

The game was starting when I saw y/n… I felt myself grin at the sight. She was wearing my jersey and she was all dolled up for me. 

Well, now I had to win.

Every second I would look at the girl. I did notice how Sooha was looking at the crowd for her whilst the witch hid behind a bucket of popcorn… 

It was actually funny to see. We would also make eye contact which she'd hide behind the bucket. It was cute.

In the end, we won easily. While the guys celebrated I went off to find the witch. I couldn’t find her until she appeared behind me.

“AHH!” I yelled as I fell backward… she laughed at me but it was something I loved hearing. I genuinely felt like I was falling for this girl every day… quite literally at the moment. 

“Did you see!?” I said as she helped me up and she nodded. “I did, congrats,” she said and I smiled. “Did I mention you look pretty?” I said and I saw for a second before she turned away from me the blush forming on her face. 

“I wanted to talk,” I said and she nodded. I saw the nervousness on her face. “I really like you. You were made for me and I for you. We’re soulmates but so is Heeseung.” I said and she nodded looking at the ground. 

“What Heeseung is doing is stupid. I don’t want to choose anyone over you. I like you!” I said and she looked up at me with those pretty eyes of hers. 

“I won’t choose her over you. I know that's why you change your expression around her '' I said and she sighed. “She’s nice… but Heeseung likes her. He rejected me… how am I so sure you won’t either?” she asked and I chuckled. 

“Love… you’re the one wearing my jersey,” I said and her face heated up again making me chuckle. I cupped her face as I stared at her eyes. “Can you please accept me, so I can kiss you?” I asked and she chuckled. “Yang Jungwon, I accept you as my soulmate,” I said and I kissed her.

“Jungwon!” I heard Jay’s voice. “Go to your dorm, love. I’ll see you later” I said and she nodded as she kissed me on the cheek before leaving. I sped off towards Jay who looked at me with a confused expression. “You have lipgloss on your lips and cheek” he said and I shrugged. 

“y/n is our soulmate huh?” he asked and I scoffed. “Don’t start” I said and he sighed. “I like Sooha… but I still want to meet her” Jay said and I shook my head.

“You’ll end up hurting her like Heeseung did,” I said. “Heeseung did what?” I heard as I now saw Sooha. “Nothing” we said but she grabbed our arms. 

“Jungwon you have something on your lips' ' Sooha said while trying to wipe y/n’s lip gloss but I sped away from her. 

“Sooha, I’m gonna need you to respect something,” I said and she looked shocked. “y/n is my soulmate,” I said and her eyes widened and she started squealing. 

“I’m happy for you Jungwon!” She yelled and I smiled. “Thank you,” I said. She was really just a friend.

And I’m also glad she dropped the Heeseung topic… or just forgot it.

y/n's perspective

“So he accepted you as his soulmate?” EJ said as my roommates and K teased me. “Do you not see her lip gloss smudge?” Wooyoung said while fixing it.

“And her dressing up for Jungwon?” K joined the gossip and I rolled my eyes at them.

“I’m glad he seems to have a brain,” Eunchae said and I smiled sadly. My heart still aches when I think I saw Heeseung but… Jungwon made it feel a bit better.

“Wonyoung?” I heard as I saw Sunoo.

“Sunoo?” Wonyoung said confused as to why he was here. “Heeseung wanted me to deliver this to y/n but I thought she wasn’t here” Sunoo said as he smiled brightly at me.

I haven’t talked much with him but Wonyoung says he’s fun. He handed me a letter when I felt sparks.

Another soulmate? He only smiled as he left… as if he knew.

“Well what does that bastard want?” Eunchae asked as I opened the letter.

y/n I hope you respect that I won’t ever love you. I love Sooha and so do your other soulmates.  Jungwon may say he wants to be with you but we all have history with her. Eventually, if you keep trying you’ll get more hurt than expected if you continue trying.

“Soulmates?” Eunchae asked and I didn’t know what it meant either. “Maybe you have more than two?” EJ suggested and I sighed.

“That all love Sooha?” I said bitterly… I’m guessing including Sunoo

“y/n, Jungwon wouldn’t go out of his way for three weeks memorizing what you liked and even begging for attention,” Eunchae suggested 

“And how he offers to help your teacher any time of the day just to see you,” EJ said and I sighed.

“I’m sorry K,” I said as I saw the look he gave the letter. “It’s not just me that’s hurting now,” he said as he looked at me sadly and I nodded.

“I’m gonna go find Jungwon” I said and they nodded. I knew the vampires were having a party. It was a bit dangerous going there but I had faith I would find Jungwon before anything would happen.

As I entered I felt stares but luckily the name on my jersey led them away.

I saw the group… Heeseung and Jungwon.

Jungwon had a hand wrapped around Sooha… why did I feel this way? Didn’t I predict this from the beginning…

I suddenly made eye contact with Heeseung and I sighed. I took off the jersey and left it on the couch.

I was walking out when I felt a hand in my wrist.

“Why are you so insistent?” Heeseung asked and I sighed. “I don’t know… but it hurts you know? To be rejected… it may not affect you. In fact, you don’t care at all. Tell Jungwon not to talk to me” I said as I left.

Surely eventually… Sooha would win his heart. Like she did to Heeseung.

I would never be their first choice.

jungwon's perspective

“Jungwon” I heard as I saw Heeseung with my jersey... “Why do you have it?” I asked as the boys and Sooha now looked at Heeseung.

“y/n said to not talk to her,” he said and I grabbed his shirt. “What did you do?” I asked now confused and he clicked his tongue as he glared at me.

“I’m not the one leading her on,” he said and I scoffed. “I actually like y/n, you bastard!” I said and he shrugged. 

“Hey you guys shouldn’t be fighting!” Sooha said and it didn’t help.

“I’m not leading her on,” I said and he laughed. “Then why are you so friendly with Sooha?” He asked and I scoffed.

“We’re not friendly” Sooha and I said at the same time.

“That’s why she was watching you guys from that couch as your arm was around her and joking around? You do know how that looks right? She hangs out with us everyday… she links arms with you. You hold her books to class. You really—“ I punched him.

“I like y/n” I said and he scoffed. “And maybe you do but you can’t tell me you don’t feel other things” Heeseung said and I was gonna hit again when I was suddenly held by Sooha. 

“No! Stop hurting each other!” She said as she hugged me. “Like that… I see how her smile disappears when you do things like that” he said and I gently pushed Sooha off me.

“Heeseung, she my soul—agrh” I let out a groan of pain. Jay came to my side to help me… “What happened?” Sunghoon asked and I felt tears from my eyes.

She accepted me not only hours ago... what changed? What did I do wrong? Did I hurt her like Heeseung suggests?

“I was rejected… and this time officially”

y/n's perspective

The next few days I avoided Jungwon at all costs. Heeseung was right… he had to feel something for Sooha. He did a lot of things he’d do for me but for her. 

and even more…

I’d rather save myself the heartache and not compete with her.

Luckily EJ and K have been helping me avoid them. I even met the rest of the Riverfield council. Wonyoung tried her best to answer all the stuco questions on behalf of me the vampire council. 

While Eunchae was making sure I didn’t look over at them. 

I was walking to my dorm tired of everything when… “Sooha isn’t anything to him or even some of us” I heard… I turned around but saw no one. 

I soon turned back towards my dorm when I now saw Sunoo in front of me upside down.

I let out a scream scared of the sudden scare.

“Sorry!” He said while he chuckled softly. He then crouched to the ground picking up the books I dropped.

“y/n” he said with a smile as he held my books. “yes?” I asked and he chuckled. “I’m a bit sad, you know? We’re soulmates yet you didn’t do anything about it” he pouted and I sighed.

I tried getting my books but he wouldn’t give them to me. “You’re really pretty! I was happy that I finally found my soulmate and saw how pretty and cute she was! But you didn’t say anything” he said as I felt my face turn hot.

He pouted with those sparkly eyes of his.

“But seriously? Sooha isn’t anything but a friend to Jungwon and me” Sunoo said and I sighed.

I started walking away from him. I didn't want to hear it...

“Hey! I was talking and I have your books!” He yelled as he caught up to me. “I'm being honest, y/n… I know it might look bad with what we do with Sooha and how she’s always around but she’s just a friend!” He pleaded and I sighed. 

“So Heeseung rejected me for Sooha? How am I sure Jungwon and you won’t? You all have a history with her… you must’ve done things with her before” I said and he stayed quiet…

“I see” I said as I tried getting my books but instead I was now upside down with Sunoo.

I let out another scream surprised at this.

“Ok, you’re right… but everything that happened with Sooha was forced.” He said and I was confused. 

“There’s a time when Niki, Jungwon, and even me forced ourselves to like Sooha romantically… it didn’t feel right. So yeah… we acted couple-ish but it wasn’t anything serious.” He said and I sighed 

“How do I believe you?” I asked and he chuckled. “Well you’re a witch” he said and I knew what he implied.

“I’m not giving you a truth serum” I said and he pouted. “But it would answer all your doubts” he said as he poked my forehead. “Sunoo put her down” I heard as I saw Jungwon on the ground with a bouquet

Suddenly I felt Sunoo pick me up bridal style as we were on the ground 

“Is it normal to feel motion sick?” I asked and he laughed. “y/n please can I talk to you?” Jungwon asked and I sighed. “You can give both of us the truth serum… I guarantee it will work” Sunoo said and I sighed.

“Truth serum?” Jungwon asked. “Yeah! I think everyone is forgetting how y/n is the top witch and top magic user in Bright Sun” Sunoo said and I sighed.

“Yeah! Then you’ll believe me!” Jungwon said and I sighed.

“Fine”

“Here” I said now as I made the truth serums enough for the two boys. 

“Okay… ask us any question!” Suno said and I sighed. “Do you like Sooha?” I asked and they both said “no”.

“Do you love Sooha?” I asked this time to be specific and they both said “no”.

“Did you ever want to be with Sooha?” I asked and they both answered with no.

“Do you like me?” I asked and they smiled. “Yes,” they said. “Do you want to be with me?” I asked and they said “yes”.

“Jungwon, those three weeks that you pursued me… was that all real?” I asked and he smiled. “Yes… I memorized everything about you. Everything you said. I really like you y/n” he said and I nodded. 

“Sunoo, did you take Wonyoung’s coffee yesterday?” I asked and he said “Yes”.

“WAIT!? I DIDN’T MEAN TO– THAT WAS A TRICK!” he yelled and I laughed. “I won’t tell her, but she did go around accusing everyone in the council room,” I said and he nodded with a soft smile. 

“Does... Heeseung love Sooha?” I asked and they looked at each other sadly. “Yes,” they said. “Do I have more than three soulmates?” I asked and they stayed silent.

“Is Niki one of them?” I asked and they looked shocked at my sudden question. “Sunoo, you defended Niki almost as if you didn’t want me to think Niki liked Sooha… so I was wondering if that was because he was also my soulmate,” I said and he said “Yes”.

“Ok… I guess you are telling the truth…” I said and they nodded. “What are your powers?” I asked and Jungwon smiled while Sunoo looked nervous. “Speed!” Jungwon said and Sunoo sighed. “Gravity and mind control” Sunoo said and I was shocked… mind control? “I would never use it on you!” he specified and I nodded. 

“Here” I said as I handed them the antidote. 

“Do you believe me now?” Jungwon asked as he grabbed my hands and I nodded. He lifted me up and hugged me.

“I promise… Sooha isn’t anything but a friend. I’ll talk about boundaries with her” he assured and I nodded. 

“How about me!?” Sunoo asked and I chuckled.

“That’s unfair! You made me work for your acceptance… he should too” Jungwon pouted while Sunoo disagreed. 

“Sunoo… you’ll convince me right?”

taglist -> @sunus-sun @loumin908 @on-1ce @shinkenprincess-oh

please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3

[pablitogavii]

PLEASE I NEED A NEW STORY NOW

Counting Blessings

You practically ran to Mikky's apartment , and you needed to tell someone.

"He's so tiny..can't believe he was living inside my belly for nine months" she said playing with the little boy laid on the couch while you were sipping on some tea completely lost in thought.

"What's wrong girl??" she said and you finally snapped out of your dreamland. She could help you, but you had to tell her now.

"Umm..I..I..ne..ed..advice??" you say and she nods waiting for the question.

"Mikky..I'm..pregnant" you say touching your stomach not believing it until it finally left your lips. Now it was all true. And you were panicking more than ever!!

"Oh My God! Congratulations!! How's Pablo taking it??" she asked already knowing he doesn't know from the way my face looked. I was too scared to tell him.

"I was too scared to tell him with everything going on..I found out on the day of his injury" you explain

"And still you haven't told him?? When will you!?" she asked

"I don't know! Everything happened so fast with him..and..tomorrow is his surgery" you say

"You have to tell him tonight! It will help him tomorrow!" she said

"U sure? I don't know if it's good idea?" you say worried he might hate it deep down knowing he's not a man like that.

"He's not gonna hate it! He loves you! And this will help him overcome this tragedy that happened" she said and you smiled thinking the same thing. Maybe now he won't feel useless these eight months..

"You're right! I gotta go!" you say and she smiles as you rushed passed Frankie who yelled "say hey to Pablo for me!" before you left.

When you arrived home, Pablo was sitting at the sofa. You came in nervously playing with your sweater edges.

"Amor? You wanna sit or keep standing in front of a screen like that?" he mocked and you quickly moved sitting down in silence. Now he was intrigued.

"Que pasa? Everything ok with Mikky and the baby?" he asked and at the mention of beby your stomach literally flipped.

"Yeh..yeh..they're fine..but um P, I have something to tell you" you say and he nods waiting while lowering the volume on the tv.

"Just please don't talk to me about the surgery, I'm nervous enough.." he said with smile but you knew he was not in such a mood..at least not yet.

"No..umm..it's not about that..well it is about the next eight months..and I know it seems like the end of the world to you..but um..I..j..just..don't know how to tell you this..it's so hard" you said and Pablo started to have fear in his eyes.

"You don't love me anymore? Yeh, you love a footballer and i'm an invalid now.." he said and you shut him up with your hand as he stared at you with big eyes.

"Shut up P..I love you so much..and..I think these eight months don't have to be so horrible..b..because" you move your hand while he keeps quiet. This was it..

"I'm pregnant Pablo.." you say touching your belly and he just sits there frozen.

"I..will..be..dad?" he said and you smiled nod

"Yes, cariño..you will be papi in eight months" you moved closer kneeling in front of his legs holding his face that was covered in tears.

"You happy cariño??"you try nervously not knowing what type of tears these were.

"Of course I feel happy! You're the love of my life preciosa..now you have my baby..it's all perfect" he said as you hugged him tightly letting him cry into your shoulder.

"I'm blessed preciosa..so blessed" he said and you smiled nodding your head and kissing his the top of his.

"You shouldn't be on the floor! It's cold! Venga! Let me take you to bed preciosa.." he said and you chuckled reminding him he is the patient now but he refused to listen holding your hand and taking you to bed where he tucked you in before joining behind you to cuddle you.

"Um, preciosa..could..I?" he said referring to your belly and you smiled taking his arm and wrapping it so he touched your still invisible bump.

"It's your daddy mi amor..he's the one touching you now" you say he watched in utter love with blushed cheeks.

"What would you like to have amorcito??" he asked still touching gently and you smiled wide.

"Hm..it's a boy cariño..I know" you say to his confused face.

"Don't you find it out later??" he asked and you chuckled nodd

"Hm..it's mother's instinct..we will have little Pablito in eight months" you say looking at his brightened face. Then you turned around touching his face worried.

"Just..please..return to us P" you say to him before he kissed your lips lovingly with much force.

"I promise..there's nothing I wish more..just to keep counting blessings with you two.." he said into new kiss that gave you reassurance..<3

[juyeonszn]

CLUMSY

PAIRING ju haknyeon x f!reader

WORD COUNT 6.03k

GENRES smut ﹒fluff

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, reader and juhak are bio lab partners, juhak is lowkey a bit of a loser BUT DW HE REDEEMS HIMSELF, mentions of alcohol, a game of rage cage…, he’s down insanely bad, the flirting goes kinda crazy, someone calls the cops, they run from said cops, reader is Nawt wasting any time, pet names (juhak calls reader princess), tbh they’re both switches in some ways, kitchen sex, oral sex (f!receiving), fingering, edging, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, creampie lol

SUMMARY when haknyeon ran into you at a tbz party for the first time, he didn’t think he would fall for you so quickly. or literally. or both simultaneously. but there’s a first time for everything, he supposes.

MORE andddddd here we go 🫡 second fic of the black out or back out collab 🙏 i forgot to link the masterlist in the last one so im gonna link it in this one in case u wanna read any of the others!! ANYWAY i had such a fun time writing this one, any excuse i get to write for juhak, i will take trust <3 if u enjoyed, don’t forget to reblog! and pls check out the other fics so far!!

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies @vernyangel

TAGLIST @millksea

SERIES MASTERLIST

Okay. So maybe trying to secure a girlfriend at a party wasn’t exactly Haknyeon’s best idea.

But, hey. You had to give him some credit. At least he was making an attempt. Most of his other frat brothers weren’t even making an effort. They seemed perfectly satisfied with charming their ways into random girls’ pants every weekend. Unfortunately, or fortunately considering he was a gentleman, Haknyeon wasn’t into that sort of thing.

It was just a little embarrassing that Kim Sunwoo’s love life had more progress than his own. Sunwoo was literally the resident loser bitch boy of the TBZ house. How was he closer to getting a girlfriend than he was? It made absolutely no sense.

Ju Haknyeon thought of himself as a catch. He was pretty neat, his room was cleaner than most guys’ his age. He knew how to cook basic meals, again, more than the average college sophomore. His car wasn’t on its last leg. (Cough cough… Kim Sunwoo, I’m looking at you.) He was a decent dude. He supported women’s rights and wrongs!

Apparently that was not enough these days.

“…And I need you to make sure the fridge is stocked completely. I’m not trying to drink my coffee without cream tomorrow morning because some idiot drank it while they were drunk.” Sangyeon commands, typing something furiously on his phone as some of the other guys move around the furniture.

“Bruh, I was in charge of buying everything last time. Why can’t someone else do it?” Kevin groans. Something else that wasn’t Haknyeon’s best idea? Walking into the kitchen during this very conversation. “What about JuHak? He looks like he has nothing better to do.”

“Yeah, whatever. That’s fine. Hak, I’m airdropping you the list.” Sangyeon waves his hand in dismissal, returning to his extensive presidential duties.

The sophomore deadpans, but doesn’t have the energy to argue back. You know, the usual fraternity was just a bunch of rich guys with more money than the tuition of each TBZ brother combined. However, the Tau Beta Zeta house was not your usual fraternity. It really was just a bunch of normal dudes thrown together. Though, Lee Sangyeon ran it like it was the fucking Navy.

Haknyeon accepts his defeat and grabs his things, heading out to the supermarket to shop for tonight’s party. Alcohol duty sucked more than door duty, in his opinion. You were sent out all alone, tasked with bringing back enough liquor and beer to last until early hours of the morning. It was a near impossible mission, unless you were Kevin Moon and good at practically everything in the world.

He pushes around the shopping cart mindlessly, though he knows he’ll have to make another trip. A long sigh leaves his lips as he enters the alcohol aisle. He fills the bottom of the cart with different cases of beer until he thinks he may drop one, and then starts to place things in the basket. He feels like a dumbass hauling it over to the registers, like everyone can see right through him.

He has to remind himself that this is for a good cause, that it’ll be worth it when everyone is enjoying themselves at the party. His actions won’t be in vain. Even after the second trip with another cart full of beer and various liquor bottles, Haknyeon keeps repeating affirmations in his head. This has to be the party.

In fact, he thinks his thoughts have manifested into reality when he sees you walking into the grocery store at the same time he’s leaving. You’re his pretty Bio lab partner. He’s always too nervous to hold a substantial conversation with you, so he settles for the bare minimum, which is unfulfilling small talk during your labs. It’s never what he needs though. Aside from your name, Haknyeon knows nothing about you.

“Y/N?” What he wants right now, however, is to shoot himself in the foot for sounding so unsure.

You glance up from your phone, a smile lighting up your face when you recognize him. “Haknyeon! Hey! What’s up?”

“Last minute preparations for the TBZ party tonight,” he gestures at his shopping cart with pursed lips. “You?”

“That’s so funny that you say that! My friends and I are going—“ You eye his cart with confusion. “Wait, I didn’t know you were in Tau Beta Zeta.”

“Yeah…” Haknyeon laughs awkwardly. “Surprise!”

You giggle, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t seem like the frat boy type. Then again, TBZ isn’t your average frat so, I guess that kinda adds up.”

Haknyeon’s not sure if he should take that as a compliment or not, but since it’s coming from you, he decides that he will. The realization that you mentioned you’d be attending the party finally sets in at that same moment. “So, I’ll see you later, then?”

You nod, smile widening. “Yeah, I’m just grabbing a bottle for us to bring with. But I’ll be there. Maybe we’ll bump into each other.”

God, he hopes so. This is the perfect opportunity for him to swoop in and learn everything he’s been dying to know about you. His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek. “I don’t know… I’m a busy man. It might be a little hard.”

That cute little laugh of yours makes another appearance. “I’ll be on the lookout, don’t worry. See you tonight, Haknyeon.”

Ju Haknyeon thinks that he must’ve done something monumental in a past life, like saving a dog from a burning building or stopping a world war. How else would the universe reward him this kindly? All he can do is wave as you maneuver around an elderly couple passing by into the store.

Maybe Kevin Moon wasn’t that bad. And maybe Lee Sangyeon wasn’t as big of a tyrant as he made him out to be. He could actually kiss the ground they walked on for forcing him into alcohol duty. If it weren’t for them, he wouldn’t have ran into you and he wouldn’t have known you were attending the party. Now he has something to look forward to that isn't getting shitfaced.

“What the hell are you wearing?”

Haknyeon looks away from his mirror, Hyunjae standing in the doorway. He has a cringe on his face at the sight of his outfit. It wasn’t the worst thing he’s ever worn, but it was… a bit too much. A black button up and black slacks was admittedly not the best frat party fit. The only good thing he had going for him was his hair that was styled for once, parted so his bangs framed his face nicely.

“This girl I’m kinda into is coming tonight. I need to look irresistible.” The younger explains, arms flailing at his sides.

“Okay, well you won’t accomplish that in this,” Hyunjae snorts, digging through his closet. “If she’s into you too, she won’t care what you’re wearing. Just throw on something you’d normally wear. Like… this! This is nice.”

Hyunjae holds up a black t-shirt and a black-washed denim jacket. Haknyeon hums. It was simple, but also once he put it on he wouldn’t feel like a douchebag, which was the whole goal here. Paired with some khaki cargo pants, he’s found a winner. He begrudgingly thanks his senior for the assistance, shooing him out of his bedroom so he can mentally prepare for the night ahead of him.

He doesn’t even know what to bring up now that he really tosses the idea around in his head. Yeah, he wants to learn more about you and what you’re like outside of your Bio lab, but specifically what he couldn’t say. Haknyeon was starting to feel like a lost cause. He had to clutch up tonight. He had to woo you so much that you had no choice but to fall for his cute face and endearing personality. But how was he meant to do that if he couldn’t even come up with topics to talk with you about?

Maybe he was just thinking too far into things. Perhaps he should just let it all go with the flow. Moving at an au natural pace was probably his best bet in comparison to Sunwoo’s soccer ball plan. (He’s still confused how that worked in his favor.)

Before he knows it, the party is swinging into full effect. This is the first time Haknyeon’s ever been so socially aware of his surroundings. He had a habit of blurring his atmosphere at these things, more interested in getting drunk with his buddies than paying attention to the attendees. As he stands in a corner of the living room, listening to Chanhee complain about treasurer stuff, he watches each and every person who enters the house.

When you finally do walk in, he has to physically stop himself from choking on the beer in his cup, biting the rim of the plastic in a weak attempt to sedate himself. If he thought you were gorgeous before in a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, he doesn’t know what to call you now. You’re laughing at something one of your friends said, dolled up in a black mini skirt and a black cropped halter top while hugging a bottle of Pink Whitney to your chest. He could probably pass out right here right now.

He almost does, but then Chanhee is slapping his back aggressively. “Wipe the drool off of your chin. God, am I the only one who still has a brain?”

“Shut the fuck up, Chanhee, go cry about your life somewhere else.” Haknyeon dismisses his senior, downing the rest of his drink for some liquid courage. Though he is, he doesn’t want to seem too desperate, so he’s not going up to you this quickly. Instead, he heads into the kitchen to get another drink, rolling his neck like he’s preparing for the biggest win of the century.

It’s as he’s pouring some jungle juice into a fresh cup that you see him. A smile similar to the one from the store graces your features. There was only one person with a back like that, and it was your cute lab partner. You keep an arm wrapped around your bottle, tapping his shoulder lightly. He spins around confusedly, but the expression morphs into pleasant surprise immediately after.

“Pink Whitney? Easy choice,” he points at the bottle in your grasp. “Are you a lightweight, Y/N?”

Your cheeks warm up at the teasing remark. Upon first meeting, Haknyeon’s been an awkward mess around you. You can only assume the confidence stems from the fact that he’s within his element. “That’s for me to know, and you to find out.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were implying that you want me to get you drunk.” He tucks a hand into one of his jacket pockets, the other bringing his cup to his mouth. He’s unconscious of the source of this sudden bravery, but he prays it doesn’t fade off anytime soon.

“Maybe I do…” You bite your lip, undoing the seal of the Pink Whitney bottle to take a sip. It burns your throat slightly. “I’ve never hung out with a frat boy before. I kinda wanna see what the hype is all about.”

Haknyeon thinks he might pass out again, because if he wasn’t so acutely aware of your entire interaction, he would think you’re flirting with him. Friendliness was a double edged sword in this day and age. But who knows, maybe you are flirting. You showed up with your friends but they were nowhere to be found now. He needed to take advantage of the opening.

It’s around this time that Younghoon and Juyeon are bringing out the fated beer pong table, a crowd already beginning to form nearby. He feels sorry for the poor suckers who have to play Changmin and his girlfriend.

“We should play beer pong!” You suggest, watching the pair of taller guys setting up the cups over his shoulder. Haknyeon can sense the color draining from his face. If it had been anyone else, he would’ve shut the idea down insanely fast, but because it was you, he was genuinely contemplating. Those who went up against the infamous TBZ party beer pong champions were in for a rude awakening, but if you wanted to...

“Uh—“ He starts but then he’s interrupted.

“Yo! Who’s down to play Rage Cage?!”

Juyeon’s voice is somehow louder than the music, carrying into the kitchen where the two of you stand. Haknyeon wasn’t the greatest Rage Cage player, but he enjoyed it a hell of a lot more than beer pong. Especially when he stood beside people who didn’t understand the concept of the game.

You chug some more Pink Whitney, batting your eyelashes up at Haknyeon. “I’ve never played Rage Cage. Is it fun?”

“If you’re next to the right people it can be, but if you aren’t, then it’s a whole lot of drinking. We haven’t played Rage Cage at a TBZ party in a while, but the last time we did Eric Sohn almost had to get his stomach pumped.” He laughs a little at the memory of his friend spending the rest of his night cuddling with a toilet seat. The mental picture overshadows how enticing you look right now.

“Do you think you can teach me?” You ask sweetly, hoping that he takes the hint. He seemed like the type of guy who wouldn’t make the first move unless you forced him to, so it appeared that you had your work cut out for you.

“You wanna play?” He turns to you with wide eyes, almost as if he hadn’t expected you to show interest in the game. You give him a small nod, tucking some hair behind your ear. The truth of the matter was that you were a fucking liar. You’ve played Rage Cage plenty of times in the past. You were actually pretty decent at it, too. You just needed an excuse to spend the night around him.

“We better head over there now. It looks like the table is filling up.” You jab your pinkie in that general direction. Haknyeon blows a raspberry and leads you that way, his hand resting on the small of your back so he won’t lose you in the pack of people surrounding the table.

“Forewarning, my rap sheet doesn’t really read World Class Rage Cage Champ,” he laughs nervously, the anxiety beginning to eat at him all over again. “But I promise, I won’t let you get stacked.”

When Haknyeon said he wasn’t the worst, but wasn’t good at Rage Cage, you took his word. Except he severely overplayed his own skill. Maybe he was just extremely on edge and it threw off his game, but the amount of times he was stacked on was a little comical. At the very least, he kept his promise. You hadn’t got stacked once, but that was also only because Haknyeon would drink for you every time you almost did.

The room is sort of spinning by the time the first game has finished. Playing a drinking game while he’s trying to get to know you better was probably at the higher portion of his ‘BAD IDEAS!!!’ list. If he wasn’t so eager to please and followed along to each of your suggestions, perhaps he’d be having a different conversation. That was not the case, though.

You can’t help but feel a little guilty for the turn out. All you’d wanted was to flirt with your lab partner, possibly end the night with some making out. As it was looking, that’s not the path you were heading down, but rather towards the kitchen for some water to sober him up some. Your bottle of Pink Whitney is long lost, replaced with a bottle of H2O. You hold his chin, tilting it back slightly to pour some into his mouth.

If he hadn’t already had the fattest crush on you, he definitely did now. Pretty and nice? You were the total package. Here you were, nursing him back to sobriety when you could’ve been out and about enjoying yourself with your friends. Up this close, he gets a detailed look at you. It’s so weird for him to think about how much he’s pined after you since the start of the semester, how much he’s admired the face that’s looking at him with this unfamiliar tenderness. He never thought he stood a chance. You know, that whole ‘nice guys finish last’ pick me boy vibe.

“Y/N—” He’s cut short, Juyeon’s voluminous voice resonating throughout the house again, sans the music.

“Everybody who isn’t Tau Beta Zeta, get the fuck out! Someone called the cops!”

Of course. Nobody ever calls the cops on a TBZ party but of fucking course the one time Haknyeon gets shoot his shot with you, someone narcs. He actually thinks he might die. He might keel over and die in the middle of this party while the cops are raiding the place. Lee Sangyeon is gonna be thrown in the back of a police cruiser for letting people drink underage and then send them his way because he bought all of the alcohol. This was just his luck.

Without a word, you grab his hand and drag him out through the back door. You follow the flock of other party goers escaping the wrath of the police. It’s difficult to run in a mini skirt and strappy heels, but you don’t really have room to whine about it. Haknyeon doesn’t know if there’s ever a right time to tell you that you could’ve just gone up to his room, but figures it’s too late when you're hopping the short fence that goes out to the main street of Greek Row.

One would think that he’d sobered up at this point since he was, you know, on the run from the law. Yet for some reason Ju Haknyeon himself doesn’t even know, he’s still feeling the effects of the alcohol, tripping over that stupid fucking fence and falling flat on his face. Thankfully, he lands on the grassy part just before the sidewalk, but it doesn’t make the situation any less embarrassing.

You don’t give him recovery time, pulling him to his feet. He holds a hand to the side of his face that received the harshest of the impact, expecting to wake up to a nasty bruise tomorrow. He’s also unsure where exactly you’re taking him, but is afraid of asking out of fear that you’ll send his ass back to the frat house and have him arrested or something. (He had a bad habit of over complicating situations and coming up with the worst possible scenarios.)

Once the commotion has died out and there’s no one else around, you slow your pace. You turn to face him with a grin, holding both of his hands in yours as you walk backwards. “Are you cool with staying the night at my place?”

Truly, Haknyeon needs to know what act of nobility he committed in his previous life. He needs to go back in time and thank himself for whatever it was. Even with fumble after fumble, he was somehow bouncing back and receiving major compensation for sticking it out. He swallows thickly, nodding dumbly when he realizes he hasn’t given you a proper response.

“Um… Yeah— I mean— yes. That’s fine. That’s totally fine.” He word-vomits, stumbling over his tongue rather than his feet. Being down bad was one of his strongest personality traits. And being clumsy was second strongest, so you don't even have to imagine how terrible a combination of both would be.

The walk to your apartment knocks any lingering inebriation out of his system. He’s entirely too hyper aware of what’s happening as you guide him in that direction. It’s cooler out, the temperature dropping in the nighttime as the end of the semester approaches. If there was another reason to be grateful for this party, it was because he no longer had to worry about not making a move before your last lab together. As much as he despised Biology, he’d take it every day if it meant getting to see you.

He actually feels like he may throw up as you reach your place, his hands sticking into the pockets of his jacket to hide the clamminess of his palms. His nerves are creeping up on him once more, a dark cloud looming over him. He shouldn’t be this jumpy at this point of the night. He should be composed, prepared to sweep you off your feet after spending so much time with you. Why the hell is he sweating bullets right now?

“Welcome to my humble abode,” you curtsy. “Would you like something to drink? Water, maybe?”

“Th-That would be great,” Haknyeon forces out, waddling behind you into the kitchen like a baby duckling following its mother. “You have a nice apartment.”

“Really? Thank you!” You can’t help but giggle at his jitters and the way he keeps rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. A sense of déjà vu rushes over you when you pass him a cup. “Living alone has its perks, I guess. I like that I don’t have to argue with anyone about how to decorate and things like that.”

“It sounds a lot more enjoyable than living with a bunch of men in their early twenties,” he smiles weakly as he accepts the glass of water from you. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how thin the walls are in that house.”

“Do they have sex often?” You ask him bluntly, head cocking to the side almost innocently. He chokes on the water he just sipped, nearly spilling it onto the floor.

“W-What?” He sputters.

“I’m assuming that’s what you’re talking about,” you shrug, facing away from him so you can grab yourself something to drink, also. “We should get back at them.”

You don’t know how many more bones you can throw for him to understand what you're insinuating. Even the frat boy comment you made earlier was intentional. Haknyeon’s mouth goes dry and his eyes widen like a cartoon character’s. What the fuck?

“I’ve never brought a girl back to the house before, because I don’t want them to make fun of me or something— not that I’m saying I would take you back to the house! I mean I just would feel bad if you also got made fun of— not that I’m referring to having sex with you or anything!” The glass in his hands is on the verge of slipping from his grip. “Not that I don’t want to have sex with you— oh my god— um wow, that’s a very lovely fruit bowl you have there I—“

“Hak,” you interject his rambling, wearing a mischievous smile.

The nickname drives him fucking insane. Scratch him possibly dying. If he isn’t dead by the end of the night, he’ll be shocked. Perplexed. Perturbed. Puzzled. Any shock-adjacent synonym you can think of. That will be him. “Y-Yes?”

“Can you shut up and kiss me already?”

Honestly, you don’t have to ask him twice. His lips are on yours in seconds, fingers fisting the material of your skirt at your hips to steel himself. You moan in response to the sheer frenzy behind his actions. It’s so easy to lose yourself in the haste of it; the way you tug at his hair, the blunt edges of his nails digging into your sides, the near clashing of your teeth. He nibbles at your bottom lip, sighing when you allow his tongue to permeate your mouth. He’s content to do nothing but this, kissing you is enough to satiate the desire he’s harbored for you for months. However, with the franticness of your kiss, he knows you want more.

He inches you both backwards until your lower back hits the counter, and then he’s cupping beneath your thighs to hoist you up. His strength sends tidal waves pulsing throughout your whole being, hurriedly pushing the material of his denim jacket off of his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor without a care. Your hands travel south as his lips trail along your jaw and neck, sucking and biting your supple skin wherever he feels fit. He hisses into the dip where your collarbone meets your shoulder when you palm him through his pants.

“Fuck, babe, you want me bad, don’t you?” He mutters into the column of your throat, teeth sinking into the flesh after.

“Mhmm,” you whine, craning your neck to give him more access to the surface. It’s like a switch has flipped in him and it turns you on unbearably. This is what you’ve been trying to coax out of him all night.

Haknyeon pries apart your legs, slotting himself between them so he can sneak his fingers beneath your skirt. His thumb rubs tight circles into your clothed clit, the lace of your underwear damp with your arousal. He connects your lips again, groaning into your kiss when he moves the fabric aside and slides his knuckle through your folds. You buck up your hips, whimpering when he holds them down with his forearm.

“Want more,” you gasp when he applies a bit of pressure to your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“‘More’ what? Use your words, princess,” he instructs, tracing your entrance with his ring finger.

You shake your head because you’re not even sure what it is that you want. You just know that this isn’t enough to quell the hunger burning at your chest. It’s not nearly sufficient to fan the flames in the depths of your heart or the ache in the pit of your abdomen. You need him everywhere. It’s beyond him being your cute Bio lab partner now.

He urges you onto your elbows, pecking the plane of your stomach. He pushes up your skirt and discards your panties, baring you to the cool air of your apartment. Your eyes flutter shut when he kisses your clit gently. Your head is light and airy and it’s like you’re on cloud nine. Haknyeon hums against you, pulling off to scold you.

“Eyes open, baby,” he nudges his nose on your pelvic bone. “Want you to watch me eat you out.”

The moan you release is strained, like it had been confined in the back of your throat for ages until this moment. He flattens his tongue and licks a line from your hole to your clit, suckling the engorged skin and repeating. Your eyelids are heavy, keeping your intense gaze on him as he all but makes out with your pussy. He focuses his mouth on your clit and slips his middle finger into you. He pumps it in and out languidly, setting a rhythm that matches each swirl of his tongue around your clit.

The whole scene still feels unreal to both of you, like you might wake up from a wet dream or something. How was it possible that Ju Haknyeon was finger fucking you on your kitchen counter? Just a couple days ago, you were sitting side by side in your Biology lab, too nervous to initiate a substantial conversation. You’d think it would be harder to slob on someone’s knob than it would be to talk to them while wearing a fuckass lab coat and goggles.

Haknyeon works his forearm up, pinning down your thighs so your cunt is fully accessible. He adds a second finger to the mix, thrusting them at a higher speed and increasing the unrelenting sucking of your bundle of nerves. He can tell you’re creeping closer towards your climax with the way your walls clench around him and your hips continue to jerk up. And considering the kind of person he was, you figured he would aid you rather than hinder you. But you figured wrong.

He slows his assault, removing his mouth from your clit and leaving the stimulation at just his two fingers. You whine, lip quivering when he looks up into your eyes.

“W-Why are you— what are you doing?” You plead, hating the tone of your voice. The tables have turned, with you sitting beside desperation. This is so unlike you— so unlike the usual domineering aura you exude during sex— your body reacting differently to the power falling through the cracks within your grasp.

“Don’t you wanna savor the moment, princess?” He sounds so cocky, a far cry from the wavering confidence you’d always seen out of him. He kisses the skin of your inner thighs, moving closer and closer to the area you need him most, all the while he continues curling and uncurling his fingers.

The precipice of your orgasm is right there, you can almost taste it on the tip of your tongue. But Haknyeon holds it just out of reach, dangling it in your face like teasing a dog with a chew toy. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes, a false sense of hedonism building and building, then slowly ebbing away each time he retracts. You open your mouth, but no sound comes out.

Just when you’ve given up hope, he adds a third finger and wraps his lips around your clit, sucking harshly. The sudden and unexpected intrusion snaps that familiar cord in half, blinding you with white hot pleasure. The groan that escapes from the base of your chest is guttural, echoing throughout the kitchen. You don’t have it in you to worry about waking your neighbors, especially not when you feel the curve of a smile against your cunt, such an uncharacteristic response from Haknyeon.

Your legs spasm as the height of your orgasm calms. You pull him down for a wanton kiss, tangling your fingers in his hair. He laughs at the role swap, hands flat on the counter to hold him over you. “Feel good?”

“So good, Hak,” you murmur into his lips. “Think you can fuck me like that next?”

“So impatient,” he snickers, pecking along your jaw once more. “But since you’ve been so good for me, I think it’s only fair that I return the favor.”

You clumsily undo the button and zipper of his cargoes, pushing them down with your foot. He steps out of them and kicks them away while simultaneously removing his t-shirt. You take your top off and shimmy out of your skirt, raising an eyebrow at the narrowed look in his eyes. “What?”

“Do you have a condom?”

“No,” you poke your cheek with your tongue. “But, I don’t care if you wear one. I’d rather feel you raw, anyway.”

His forehead drops to your shoulder. “God, you’re killing me. Okay.”

He shoves down his briefs and you have to stop yourself from gawking at his size. While he wasn’t the biggest, he was definitely bigger than anyone else you’ve ever been with. He pumps himself a couple times, guiding his length to your entrance and throwing his head back when the tip presses into you. This was really happening, holy shit. Ju Haknyeon was actually having sex with you.

Your toes curl and you stab your nails into your palms to distract from the stinging stretch. He eases into you with the occasional grunt, minding your expressions for any signs of discomfort. When all he sees is your features contorted to display pleasure, he resumes. By the time he’s bottomed out completely, both of you are moaning messes. You feel so full, stuffed to the brim with the weight of his cock.

“I’ve wanted to be inside of you for so fucking long,” he admits, speaking the words into your sticky skin as he drags himself out only to piston back in. The action throttles you a bit, your eyes tempted to roll to the back of your head from how fucking good it feels. You can’t conjure coherent thoughts to properly convey how many endorphins are coursing through your veins.

Haknyeon sets a pace that combines the perfect amount of speed and depth, the tip of his cock brushing that spot deep in your cunt. Your brain is hazy and your vision blurs, hardly able to see anything in front of you. His mouth attaches to the pulse point on your neck, ensuring he bruises the area.

“Y-You’re— fuck— you’re s-so deep, Hak. I can feel you all over,” you wail, bringing one of his hands to tamp your lower stomach. The pressure contributes to the growing tension of your second orgasm, something you know will collide into you with even more exertion than the first.

“Yeah? You’re taking me s-so well, baby. No one else has ever fucked you this good, right?” Sweat beads on his hairline, dripping down his temples with every thrust of his hips and every drive of his cock into your sweet pussy. Even if he really did somehow manage to die tonight, he could do it with integrity. He could go out with the honor of a fallen soldier knowing that he got to experience this at least once in his life.

He hikes one of your knees up to your chest, burying his dick deeper if humanly possible. You arch your back, pushing into his chest to minimize the space between you, antsy at the promise of another release as mind blowing as the last. He brings you to the edge of the counter so you’re now hip to hip. Haknyeon snakes a hand in the middle of your bodies, using his thumb to rub circles into your clit. That stimulation coupled with the depth of his cock encourages the fluttering of your walls, in turn drawing out the state of bliss you’ve been chasing.

Your vision goes blank, stars painting the behinds of your eyelids. A second orgasm crests upon you and evokes a moan so pornographic, it sounds far away from you. It’s a dreamlike euphoria, an almost out of body experience that puts every other orgasm to shame. The surface of your skin is hot to the touch.

“Where do you want me, princess?” Haknyeon asks breathily. In the calamity of your own release, you nearly forgot about his until you register the twitching inside of you. It pauses the static in your ears, returning the volume of the world to its normality.

“Cum inside of me,” you whine, the overstimulation becoming too much to handle. He doesn’t need to be told another time, grip tightening on your thigh as he spills into your cunt.

The two of you stay still for a moment, allowing clarity to flow into your brains. You wince when he finally has half the mind to pull out, his nose scrunching up at the sensitivity. He slides his underwear back on, extremely conscious of how naked he is right now. He has an inkling that you were anticipating that this would happen, because why else would you ask him to stay over tonight? But, he is the Ju Haknyeon that you’ve sat next to this entire semester in your Biology lab. So he couldn’t just march forward without a little overthinking and self deprecation.

“Do you still want me to stay?” His voice has reverted back to that small, unsure tone. You sit up quickly, alarmed by the twinge of disappointment underneath it.

“Of course, I do,” you pout, kissing his cheek and lacing your fingers together. “I’ve had a crush on you since the beginning of the year, Hak. Sure, maybe I skipped a couple steps in between, but I have wanted this so badly— I have wanted you so badly— for you don’t even know how long.”

He chuckles, tucking some hair behind your ear. He leaves a sweet kiss on your lips, softer and gentler than the ones from earlier that night. He’s intentional with the way he glides them in harmony, like he was following the melody of the most beautiful song. “Oh trust me, I think I have an idea.”

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[dehydrated-turtle]

Sketchy Motel and Midnight Jerking

//warnings// smut, nsfw, 16+, mdni

//contents// Dick Grayson x transmasc!reader, trans reader, masturbation, one bed, transmasc reader

//synopsis// You, a detective are working with your long time friend, Dick Grayson, aka Nightwing on a case but when you get to the stakeout motel, they only have one room with the one bed. One thing leads to another... wc - 3.2k

//on ao3//

Driving to the outskirts of Blüdhaven, you and Dick were on your merry way to start a steakout on some drug dealers that have been selling tainted drugs to kids. Nightwing had gotten a “tip” (he beat up a thug) that the ring leader was staying in a sketchy house on the outskirts. Lucky for you guys, there was an even sketchier motel across the street that had a perfect view from the windows, spectacular for surveillance. 

You had become Dick’s go to cop in ‘haven after you “proved yourself” working on another case with him. You slowly became really close friends and being one of the best detectives in your precinct, you found out his secret identity, bringing the two of you even closer. 

“Looks like we’re pulling up to it now.” Dick says, turning the steering wheel and pulling into a gravel parking lot. The motel looked like it was on the verge of being abandoned, eaves troughs hanging down off the roof, clear water damage from outside , doors with no handles, and shingles missing from the roof. 

“Quaint.” you sigh, taking a good look at the building as Dick parks the car. 

“C’mon, let's get a room and set up surveillance, I wanna get it up and running as soon as possible.” 

You unbuckle your seatbelt and step out of the car onto the rough parking lot gravel, too cheap to get pavement I guess. As you keep looking at the state of the building, you follow Dick to the check-in office to get a room. 

As you walk in the door, a little bell jingles above your heads and a short, raven haired woman comes out from the back room. 

“What can I do you for?” 

“Uh, a room preferably.” Dick said with a chuckle and his signature friendly smile. You’ve seen him use it on kids who were in danger or to colleagues of yours. 

“Alright, let's see here…” She turned around to the wall that’s not so full of keys, “I’ve got one room left. Just a heads up, there’s only one bed so you two boys are going to have to share.” She hands Dick the key. 

“How could you only have one room, the parking lot was empty?” He says, looking at the key. 

“I dunno what to tell you kid, you see any more keys on this wall? How long?” 

He looks over at you nervously, “Uh, 4 nights.” He says while the woman taps something into her computer and Dick taps his card on the debit machine so your four nights are all paid for. No taking this out for company charges because it’s technically not a case. At least an official one. 

The two of you walk back out the jingly door and up the steps to try and find your room, 204. The door seemed tattered and like it had been beaten down in the past but at least the lock worked once you got in. Just as the woman said, one bed, queen sized so at least you could have your own space and not be practically on top of eachother. 

“Ok I’m going to go get some of the bags from the car, wanna help?” You say, walking to the door. 

“Sure, sure.” He replies, hurrying to the door and following you close behind. 

After you bring up all of your luggage and the many, many bags and cases of surveillance equipment, Dick flops down on the bed with a heaving sigh. You place the last case on the floor near the window and walk over to the bed as well, sitting on the opposite side as Dick. 

“I really don’t want to set all the stuff up right now. Maybe we can just set it up tomorrow morning, first thing.” Dick groans, turning onto his side to face you. 

“Yeah, it’s getting dark anyway, might as well get ready for bed.” You get off the bed and head toward your suitcase to get out a change of clothes and your toiletries bag before making your way to the bathroom. Said bathroom is disgusting but that’s not surprising, you just avoid the corners and don’t swallow the water. You change into your PJs which are really just a hoodie and a pair of shorts. You leave the room and walk back to your suitcase to pull out your phone charger and plug it into the wall. 

You ignore Dick as he gets his stuff out–just the same as you–and shuts the door to the bathroom as you crawl under the covers which seem to be relatively clean, at least they smell freshly washed. You lay on your side facing the bathroom door, scrolling on your phone when Dick comes out, wearing a tee shirt and boxers. You give him a surprised look and he responds, 

“Forgot my pants.” 

“Sure you did, or you just wanted me to see how much you’re packing.” You say teasingly with a smile. You mean it as a joke but he still flushes nonetheless and turns away. Odd. He pulls his pair of sweats on over his boxers and comes back to the bed. He lifts the covers and scoots underneath. For a second your legs brush ever so slightly. 

“Sorry,” he says, rather frantically. Also odd. 

“Oh, no it’s ok.” You look up at him, he's still so flushed. “Ok, I’m going to sleep, I’m beat. G’night, Dick.” You roll over and snuggle into the pillow. 

“‘Night…” He replies, also shuffling into a more comfortable position to sleep in. 

You don’t really remember falling asleep but you definitely remember waking up: you had apparently rolled over again because now you were facing inward. You were woken by some soft noises coming from beside you. You’re still not sure what it is because you’re still half asleep but as you open your eyes slowly, you have a perfect view of Dick’s dick, glistening in the moonlight. You don’t want to make it weird so you just stay perfectly still, watching him jerk off. 

His soft, quiet moans and whimpers make your boxers absolutley soiled, you try not to make any moans yourself. The squelching of his wet cock ringing in your ears making it extremely hard not to intervene. The bed starts to rock just slightly as he pumps his hand up and down, pulling him closer to a climax. You can’t see his face, with the way your head is, so you know he can’t see your eyes so you just keep watching, waiting until he’s done so as to not make it awkward for him until… 

He says your name. 

Amidst his moans and squealing whimpers, your name is whispered along with a string of profanities. His hand starts to move faster and his voice, louder. You want to intervene more than ever, now knowing that he’s jerking it to you and, by the looks of it, he’s about to cum. 

But what if you misheard. 

What if he’s thinking of someone else. 

What if he wouldn’t want you to touch him. 

Too many risks. 

His hand stutters and he squeals as you watch him cum all over his lower abdomen, rivers of white, pouring out of his tip. He lets out a sigh and dips his fingers into the cum on his abs, bringing it up to his mouth. You squeeze your legs together, trying desperately to feel something on your throbbing clit without arousing suspicion that you’re awake. 

He slides out of bed and heads toward the bathroom, nothing on his lower half so you watch his perfect ass as he walks away. There goes your opportunity. 

You roll over and try to go to sleep but the image of his pristine cock keeps popping up every time you close your eyes, shimmering and jumping in his hand. Fantasies come to mind, you sucking away at it, bouncing on it for hours, maybe adding a vibrator to the mix before he comes back through the bathroom door. You can only imagine what his soft cock looks like as he comes back, rebounding between his perfectly toned thighs before he puts his pants back on. You feel him crawl back into the bed, pausing for a moment before sliding down into the covers. After a couple of minutes, you fall back asleep again. 

This time you wake up to Dick’s hand on your shoulder and his voice pulling you out of your REM. You were facing him again, but this time one of his thighs was between yours and your hips were rolling against it. 

“Welcome back to the land of the living. I was going to leave you be but… you said my name, thought maybe I should intervene so, I dunno, you could get the most out of it?” He looks really flushed again but this time he’s keeping eye contact. He did what you couldn’t, little fucker. You’re too tired to really know what’s happening so you just keep rolling and let out a whimpering moan. “Is that a yes?” He asks, lifting your chin so you meet his eyes. All you do is nod. “I’m going to need a verbal confirmation.” 

“ Please just fuck me.” You slur, your eyes lidded and heavy still, but not until Dick takes your lips into a deep and sensuous kiss, rolling his hips along with yours, cock hard and so very ready. The pheromones are practically flying around the room. You moan gutteraly into the kiss as you feel his cock jump against your lower abdomen. Dick’s lips leave yours and start to travel along your neck, down to where your hoodie starts. 

“Mind if I take this off?” he asks, so sweetly. 

“No…” You reply, sitting up and lifting it off your torso and throwing it onto the ground. He pushes you by the shoulder so you’re laying back on the bed before he straddles your hips and kisses the nape of your neck. His kisses take a long journey, peppering and fluttering all the way down your chest, abs, and stomach before getting to the waistband of your shorts. 

“This ok?” he asks, looking up at you with those precious puppy dog eyes but genuinely asking. 

“Mhm.” you whine as he pulls down your shorts underneath your ass, off your legs, and onto the floor with your shirt. He places a kiss on your pelvic bone before looking up at you again with those beautiful dark blue eyes, looking for more confirmation, how much could he possibly need. You nod nonetheless and he licks a stripe up your folds, slowing down as he reaches your growth and you let out a soft whimper. You see him smile before going whole hog and taking your clit into his mouth, sucking vigorously. Your head hits the pillow as you moan out loudly before slapping your palm to your lips in an effort to stifle it. 

“Mm-mm, no, honey… I wanna hear you.” Dick whispers, pulling away from your core making you whine into your palm again before he reaches up toward you and pulls your hand away by your wrist before going back down on you. 

He pushes your thighs apart, massaging them as well while he slides his tongue into your leaking hole. You gasp at the sudden stretching and clench down on his tongue. He curls up and hits a certain spot which makes you all the more loud, he responds with a moan of his own, vibrating into your core. He takes his tongue back out to lick fast circles on your hardened growth and alternate with sucking. His actions are fast and spirited, making your inner thighs shake as your eyes roll back. A familiar heat growing in the depths of your abdomen, your hand snaps to the back of Dick’s head, pushing him down then pulling on his hair. His eyes look up and land on you, making eye contact as he lifts his hand to find yours, intertwining your fingers with his and squeezing three times. That pushed you over the edge. 

You had been mercilessly pining for Dick for ages now and the lewd acts were almost too much let alone him basically telling you he loves you. You just nearly scream out his name as you fall over the cliff of your climax, squirming under his mouth and his muscular arms resting on your thighs. 

“‘Atta boy…” He whispers against the skin of your inner thighs, leaving open mouthed kisses along them along with some bruising ones. “You really have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of this.” he nuzzles into the crook of your leg, breathing in your scent as you play gently with his hair. All you can do in your post orgasm haze is hum in acknowledgement. 

With a singular kiss on your thigh, Dick sits up between them and starts to pull the hem of his shirt over his head. You had almost forgotten that he had been fully clothed the whole time you had been completely naked. His abs flexing as the collar of his shirt comes over his head and his biceps relaxing as he brings his arms back down. He tosses it gently onto the floor beside the bed and you take this time to admire his physique. 

You try to sit up to touch his bare chest but he pushes you back down, shoving your shoulder so you fall back bouncing onto the bed. He kisses your collarbone, leaving more maroon bruises on your skin as you tug at the hair on the nape of his neck and planting a kiss on the top of his head. You can feel Dick rutting into your thigh as he massacres your collarbone, whimpering softly. 

“Dick…” you whisper, “I need you. I need to feel you inside me, please .” 

“Oh, I was planning on it.” He says with a smug smile looking up at you. 

He sits back up, slides off the bed, and pulls off his sweats and boxers, you watch his cock spring free and slap his lower abdomen gently which makes you clench. He pumps his dick a few times before coming back onto the bed. You lock eyes with him and he sends you a genuine smile before spreading your legs again. He lets some spit fall onto his hand then coats his head with it before lining up with your entrance, swiping a line up your wet folds. He tilts his head as he does so and smiles again before looking back at you and pushing in slowly. He wants to make sure you feel every bit of this. 

He lets out a deep exhale as he bottoms out, gently. You stretch out your arms, reaching for his skin and touching his waist slowly massaging the flesh. Your hands travel along his body as he starts to move inside you, cock jumping ever so slightly but enough that you could feel it deep inside your guts. The stretch was so perfect, not nearly enough to hurt but just so that you could feel it pushing at your walls. 

“Hm, look at you… taking my cock so well.” he whispers almost to himself with his head still tilted, looking at your cunt. His fingers start to dance on your clit, toying at it and smiling another time because you just can’t stop clenching on his dick. 

He quickens his pace, balls now slapping against your flesh and moans being thrown around the room carelessly. He falls forward, catching himself with an arm right beside your head, his other hand palming at your sides, holding you steady. Your fingers now wandering along his back and arms, gripping desperately to anything you could get your hands on. 

His hand reaches your jawline and he looks right into your eyes before taking your lips into his, sliding his tongue past them and mingling with yours. He moans tenderly against your mouth as he relentlessly pounds into your cervix. With a wet pop, he breaks the kiss, panting heavily against your skin before he sits back up. He presses his palm down onto the flesh right above your pelvic bone. 

“Oh, fuck .” he whines, apparently the action had given you both an intense sensation, the pressure was immaculate and he just went slightly faster, pounding into spots of your walls you didn’t know could be pleasured or even reached for that matter. “Oh god, I’m gonna cum, shit-” 

“Don’t you dare pull out- OH FUCK.” The comment had made Dick’s cock twitch, sending him over the edge, spilling into you. The white rivers of cum pouring into your canal, ebbing and flowing, painting your insides white, leaking out onto the sides of his dick. Now he might be sensitive but he’s not stopping until you cum on his cock. He keeps pounding until you’re a shaking mess, moaning his name. 

“Such a good boy, cumming for me… clenching around my cock, so sweet.”

His thrusts slowly come to a halt, delicately pulling out and watching as his cum pours out of your hole. He dips his fingers into the mess and brings them to his lips, licking the cum off of them just like he had done in the middle of the night except this time you could see his mouth and he was looking right at you. The lewd act makes you whine before he bends down to your cunt again and lapps up his and your own juices from your leaking hole. He flattens his tongue and licks all the way up your core, tasting all of you before focusing more on your clit, sucking and circling with his tongue. 

After a couple of moments, he slides a finger into your hole, curling up and hitting your sensitive g-spot. He pumps this finger for a while while still sucking and bobbing his head ever so slightly before adding another finger and curling them repeatedly and with vigour. Your sensitivity causes you to gasp at the sudden intense pleasure, moaning Dick’s name and pulling at his hair. An unfamiliar sensation arises in your core, a sort of pressure and your stomach tightening. Before you knew it, there was a waterfall of clear liquid gushing up from your cunt, falling onto the bed and you. Dick looked at you in awe with a disbelieving smile and a little chuckle, completely soaked as well by your orgasm. 

“Fuck, I’ve never done that before… my god, you’re soaked.” You say, sitting up and brushing his hair out of his face before pulling him in for a kiss. 

“I’m just glad to know I make you feel good.” 

“Spectacular, even-” you’re cut off by your alarm going off meant to wake you up so you can set up the surveillance equipment. “Shit, we still have a perp to catch. Wanna come help me set up then maybe we can go out so they can change the sheets.” 

“What a great idea, maybe we should shower first, no? I’m kinda soaked already.” 

“Sounds good to me.”

[the-s1lly-corner]

hi! Hooe ur having a good day so far ;)

if its not a big thing to ask, could you do the TADC crew with a s/o who has a really big sweet tooth? Like they dont need to eat, but anytime something slightly sweet is presented they always eat it no matter what? Thank you!

TADC cast x a reader w/ a sweet tooth!

yipee third request of the day! just got 13 more then im all caught up!! thinking about it more i might reopen requests day after tomorrow, if i finish all the current requests today!

CAINE:

congrats! there isnt a better source of sugar in the digital world than from the tooth man himself; bro literally pulled a cake out of thin air youre set for life if you want to eat treats! i like to think he would make a mental note of what sweets are your favorite and for what reason; taste, texture, smell, stuff like that

i personally hc that since caine is an ai he cant really taste, at least not in the same way we can, so bonus idea, imagine describing what things taste like to him, ,i think thats cute

POMNI:

when you told pomni that you had a sweet tooth, she assumed that you had a normal sweet tooth; as in you simply liked having a little treat here and there. imagine her shock when caine promises sweets as a reward for completing an IHA and you end up going full ham trying to secure the reward. maybe its because your sweet tooth is that intense, or maybe you havent had many chances to indulge since entering the digital world... whatever it may be, i think pomni would give you her candies and treats; she seems like a more bitter flavor enjoyer

RAGATHA:

writing her part first because i just got struck with an idea but imagine the two of you baking something together; bonus you keep trying to eat the stuff before its fully done (ex. you keep eating some of the frosting before it can be put on a cupcake or something). she playfully swats your hand when you try to snag more of whatever you're baking together. gives an apologetic look; would the treat not be better when its complete? come on reader, practice patience!

thats another idea for a real world au thing with ragatha, you two running a little baking business; i think that would be cute

JAX:

you guys fist fight over a bag of sour patch kids sorry i dont make the rules. i hc that jax has a huge sweet tooth, especially for sour candies. so uh, if you like sour candies youre going to have to make a stash... but considering jax has keys to some peoples rooms, you might wanna be smart about it... will share his candy with you if youre feeling extra bad one day, though

KINGER:

sweets, a loving partner, and a cozy pillow fort. does it get more comforting than that? okay maybe it can, if you pair a cup of hot coco with your cinnamon roll, but hey! side note, we see kinger sitting at the table at the end of the pilot... with food... so like.. how does he eat? does it just clip through his face? did he only get food to be polite? now i have a few questions... i dont think kinger would be a huge sweet fan; not really craving sugar that often... i think he would be a spice lover, though, this man would love himself a spice cake me thinks

ZOOBLE:

also not a particularly huge sweet fan, but i think similar to jax they would love sour candies. unlike jax, though, they wont go snooping around for your stash, though! probably snags stuff from the common areas if caine has like a communal candy store in the circus, or if not... stares at jax. you WILL hear from them if you leave your candy wrappers around though!

GANGLE:

speaking of candy wrappers, i think gangle would keep them! gives them a use; depending on what kind of material they are or like... if theyre foldable (think like a gum wrapper) she makes little pieces of origami for you! hearts, frogs, flowers, things like that! sometimes gets you some candy so she can get the wrappers. also likes how the crinkling feels n sounds!

[doki-doki-imagines]

Barou and Aryu as pets‼️‼️

I would ask for ahidpu or karasu but karasu is prob/def crow and i feel like shidou would be a cockroach for obvious reasons :>

U can do them if u still wanna tho

Thxx Bye bye :))

Send them in, I may surprise you ;)

Shoei Barou - Lion

-When Oliver asked you to come to practice you thought about various reasons why your presence should have been needed: maybe Barou doesn't feel well, maybe he needs some support, maybe he needs to calm down...all the reasons spin around Barou.

-And you were right, the focal point is Barou, just...something more unusual.

-"Look at him (Y/n)! Isn't he the cutest?" Snuffy shouts, a lion on his hands mane present but not fully developed, eyes as sharp as the finest katana; yeah it was totally your boyfriend.

-"Take care of him, probably tomorrow he will be back to normal" Oliver tells you, face and arms full of scraps, but smile is plastered on his face; someone got it rough...

-Actually taking care of lion Shoei was easier than you thought??? He keeps himself clean and try to bother as little as possible.

-Too bad he has his moment of anger where he shows his teeth, activating your fight or flight instinct (the flight always win).

-At least he has the decency to recognize the mistake, letting you ruffle his mane (he also purrs but it's better to not let him know)

-At the end he falls asleep on the bedroom floor, your hand patting his head 'till sleep took over.

-"Your house is dirty as fuck, I can't stay together with such a pushover" The awakening was traumatic.

-Worse part? You can't even tell him to fuck off, his teeths are still sharp. Best part? He still has cute ears and the tail wagging at each compliment you say to butter up his ego, making him do your house chores.

Jyubei Aryu - Black persian cat

-It all happens when you were visiting a nearby temple, you were prying and puff! All of sudden your beautiful boyfriend turned into a cat!

-A nearby priestess laughed at you "The yokais of this forest love to trick cute couples, don't worry everything will be back to normal tomorrow."

-So after recovering from the shock you went back home, there you finally started to appreciate your boyfriend new form.

-I say finally because Jyubei wanted the compliments way sooner during the travel back home.

-He keeps his drama queen attitude, you never heard a persian cat meowl so much. Why your photo album isn't full of him?? He has been striking the best poses ever.

-You didn't open a Insta account for him because you didn't want to spend your day taking photos; you preferred much more to pet his soft tummy; he liked it way less, his hairs must be perfect!!

-Loud meowls apart you spent a cute afternoon with your furry ball <3.

-"Mh, good morning my dove." Jyubei stretches out, long limbs falling from the couch you've slept on together.

-You feel something soft near your leg, then hips...does he still have the tail?

-You turn around, not only the tail, but also cat-ears! You can't resist that much cuteness, not when his beautiful face is so near yours!

-Your lips meet his ones, while your right hand scratched his fluffy ear.

-The meowl he let out was the best harmony your ears have ever heard; standard Jyubei, either beautiful or nothing.

[svltzmans]

she's just not into you - r.b.

robin buckley x fem!lesbian!reader

steve has been looking at y/n y/l/n for months, to no avail. she just seems to have no interest, even with steve's kind gestures. he doesn't understand why. robin does.

a/n:

hi!! omg this is the first time i'm ever writing something like this! i hope someone sees it and likes it lol :) pls ignore any grammar mistakes i tried my best!!

"i can't believe you managed to score a date with the hottest girl in all of hawkins after my millions of failed attempts", steve remarks, his hands running through his almost-too-long coffee-colored locks. "you've seen it! she just isn't into me at all."

"well, you're not exactly tom cruise or anything", robin responds sarcastically, still lugging her trumpet case from the pep rally.

"tom cruise probably couldn't even pull y/n y/l/n anyway."

"but i could."

"don't remind me!"

the two best friends continue down the halls of hawkins high, robin's heart still pounding remembering what she had managed to pull off minutes prior.

she has a date. a real one.

with y/n y/l/n.

she feels like she'll always remember the exact moment y/n's lips lifted into a smile as she accepted her offer.

the hawkins high pep rally was one of robin's least favorite events of the year.

she loved playing the trumpet. she actually really did.

but playing it in front of her high school full of judgemental jocks and cheerleaders wasn't quite her speed.

nonetheless, she knew she would get to see y/n y/l/n in the crowd. and that made her confidently apply a little extra makeup in steve's car, despite the background noise of steve's babbling.

robin's heartbeat kicked up the second steve pulled into the hawkins high parking lot. she scanned the crowd, but caught no sight of the girl she wanted to see.

that was, until she stepped into the stuffy gym and began to ascend the bleachers.

"robin!", a familiar voice sang.

"oh, y/n! hi!"

"i'm excited to hear you play. i'll be right near the band section!"

those words make robin's stomach start to twist.

"i'll make sure to play as best as i can then!"

y/n laughs in a way that makes robin's cheeks flush a red so deep it's almost maroon.

"oh, y/n, i wanted to ask you a question actually."

oh god, it's happening.

"what's up, robin?"

it's actually happening.

"can you meet me below the bleachers at the end of the pep rally?"

robin's heart pounds while she waits for a response. sure, y/n doesn't know her plans, at least not yet. but simply the thought of her and y/n in privacy makes her feel nervous.

"yeah! i'll meet you there!"

robin simply smiles genuinely, nods, and starts the short walk to the band section of the bleachers.

the pep rally flies by in a blur. robin almost forgets the songs she has to play countless times, her mind only focused on what she wanted to say to y/n.

finally, the student population starts to file out of the gym, and robin makes her way to the bottom of the bleachers. to her surprise, y/n is already standing there, leaning against the wall.

"hey rob!"

the nickname sends a chill down robin's spine.

"y/n! you beat me here!"

"i couldn't keep the best trumpet player in hawkins waiting."

robin's face falls flush again, her hands nervously folded in front of her.

"i guess i'm okay. lots of practice."

"no, robin, you're really good at it. i know a pep rally is supposed to be about school spirit and whatever other bullshit, but i was watching you play. and trying to listen despite how loud everything was."

robin is shaken by how genuine y/n sounds. she knew y/n was kind. she had just never experienced it this personally.

she knows she can't hesitate any longer.

"y/n, do you wanna maybe go get a coffee with me tomorrow? after school?"

she had done it. she had asked one of the most coveted girls at hawkins high on a date.

countless hawkins boys had asked y/n out. robin had even witnessed some of the rejections y/n had dished out, noting the guilty look on the girl's face.

and steve was right. he had tried, quite a few different times. y/n was always kind to him, but never in a more than platonic way. he didn't understand why. had he done something wrong?

"of course i will, robs. that sounds like a lot of fun."

robin then understood why.

[nadsdraws]

Knocking on Heaven's Door [T]

Edward and Izzy find each other at the very end of their lives. This doesn’t stop them from enjoying what little remaining time they have together.

Tags: MCD, angst, modern AU, edizzy, they love each other

“We’re here, Iz. We’ve made it. The ocean,” Ed waves his hand in front of the vast body of water in front of them as if in an introduction. Deep blue all the way to the horizon, rippling in the wind. 

Izzy understands the appeal now, he feels a vague pull towards it himself. An impulse to board the first outgoing ship and sail away.

But he’s not going to, they’re not going to. Both having an expiration date on their bodies; the only question being who will go first. 

“Iz? Are you okay?” Ed’s voice pulls him out of his train of thought. He looks so beautiful and carefree against the backdrop of the setting sun, wind blowing through his curls. “Having regrets?”

“No,” Izzy finds himself saying, and smiling despite stealing a car and breaking at least half a dozen laws. It’s surreal they made it all the way to the beach. 

It feels like a miracle. It is a miracle. Just like meeting Ed at the hopeless hospital ward for teminally ill. Just like drinking rum with Ed from the same bottle, thinking that it’s practically kissing. Like Ed asking “wanna do something weird?” before they ran away from the hospital together. 

Like having Edward all to himself a few days later in a hotel room. 

“I don’t regret a thing.” Izzy repeats, and he means it. “I just wish we had more time.”

“Nah, Iz, don’t.” Ed shakes his head. “It’s better that way. You got to see the best of me. How long do you think it could last Iz, with someone like me? A year? Five years?” 

“You’re not giving yourself enough credit. Ed. At least ten.” 

Edward huffs a laugh at that. “Maybe, maybe. I did not peg you for an optimist, mate.”

Izzy knows Edward enough now to see through his attempts to deflect the difficult conversations.

“I know what you think of yourself, Ed. And it's not true. You are trying so hard to make people like you, but you don’t have to. It’s okay to show the ugly parts, we all have them. You are lovable, not despite them but because of them. Five years or a year—I don't care, I’d take it.”

“I know you would, Iz,” Ed smiles back, and it’s more open now, more genuine. “How long do you think we have left?”

“Oh, who the fuck knows. Till the evening maybe? Tomorrow? The day after that?”

“We can watch the sunset,” Ed offers, sitting down on the sand and opening his arms in an invitation. “Come over here and let me love you till the end of our lives.”

Izzy accepts it easily, cuddling to Edward’s side. Suddenly he feels the full weight of the past days on his  shoulders and he feels incredibly tired. He means to only close his eyes for a little bit, but Edward’s embrace is so warm he loses that battle rather quickly.

But it’s okay. 

Ed will join him soon.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary494

2/2-3/25

sunday - monday

feeling happy...

i think recording went well with my friend. we made like a nearly 2 minute song which isn't long or anything but it's strange and feels really funny and kind of good. it definitely feels good to play music with other people, i want to do it more, so i'll see if he'll want to do it more. i also want him to send over the song so i can maybe write ideas down for it or practice the parts i came up with so i can play them better. one riff i really liked!! it sort of had a jerome's dream feel except it was on top of this drum machine i'd done to be doing a kind of dance-y thing. it was also a funny time, funny music. i'm so basically bad at music when it comes to things i need to move my fingers for but i impressed myself a couple times, it felt like i could feel what we were doing well enough. he was playing a midi sax thing, which was super funny on its own but worked in the context of the song. i think if i do go again i kind of want to try and set up a different drum machine/ drum sound and make a preset so we can have something that sounds more real. that would be for the best. although who knows if that'll happen. i would really like to though. i know i keep saying that. i guess it's just kind of new to me. i've never been good at, or really even done it, but the whole playing music with people in a room thing has always eluded me and i never was good enough to be like, someone you want to pick. i like writing stuff on guitar and figuring it out on synths or just using the synths to do the things i want to do in a guitar-ish direction, and i never wanna stop with that. idk, even if doing like a little ep with him doesn't pan out or whatever it does prove to me, the thing we did today, that i definitely have the ability to do things on guitar, and improvise on guitar, in a way that feels in line with what i really like to hear, that kind of freaky sound. i at least feel like i can make interface guitar music work... that makes me really happy!!! i just feel fulfilled from it, thinking on it. i keep talking about myself but i have no idea how much he feels about it, if it was any fun or anything, for him. i think it was, he was smiling a lot. he was looking at me play guitar a lot and seemed shocked or something but i really have no idea if that was like, wow they're so awful, or, this is cool, or something. or was he just spacing out?? i just really would like to not embarrass myself. i'm going to hear it, i'm sure i'll hate it... maybe not. idk. i shouldn't make any assumptions... i just worry my happiness is from an overly optimistic place and i'm like kind of stupid it or something.

here is what i looked like... i think i must have looked really funny playing bass:

i also did some music stuff today, for personal stuff. i'm gonna wait until tomorrow to relisten, however i feel very happy about that stuff too! good mood today... wow... it's crazy how reflecting on my day is making apparent that it has been pretty good. being out with friends is always good, typically at least, his gf was telling me about her brother, his exit from bootcamp, this is a weird tangent to go on, just a lot about how insane the military is, how they want you to exit yourself almost, a kind of twisted self-discarding idea, i dunno, very bad ofc, the exploitation of young people who are basically told so often they have 'no direction' and thus they appear without direction. when you're unwell and are gonna be discharged for being unwell, they put you in an institution basically, my gf's brother also went through that, friend's gf's brother caught a black mold infection while in what is apparently called the 'med-hole'. which is insane, to catch a fungal infection inside of the medical hole. maybe a 'medical hole' could only give diseases... it does fit.

the playing today also really makes me want to play more and more and more at home, which is a good knock-on effect... let's see... what else is on my mind...

something stupid!!! (i'm so dumb i feel so dumb when i feel anything positive (just like that nirvana song)), i watched this 4 hour interview over 2 days with this woman who was involved with this whole rationalist philosophy (she seems right to say it is not a cult though it has some negative lines of thought that it seems to proliferate) and this has me thinking about not just that but the general way the rationalist types make me feel. which is always that there is something really fucked up about it all, and their way of supposing ai and related technologies work, and beyond that, the whole culture of it, i'd never looked at lesswrong until today, and this is a shallow thing although i do think the aesthetics of it matter and articulate a lot of the underlying assumptions of the site and presents it in a particular way, but god it's hideous, it's a kind of hysteric cleanliness it's so cruel feeling. that's an underlying thing here, this ziz person, she comes off as oddly cruel re: some of her concepts, and it essentially reminds me of catholic forgiveness (this might take some explaining) and giving into ocd tail-chasing (maybe more evident). re: the catholicism, there's some kind of notion of a 'core' you have (i guess 2 because of brain hemispheres (which gets into that really spot and nonsensical (basically) left brain right brain stuff), and then this core, which is 'out of time' and so i think essentially a soul, a two soul situation, where you might have one that is essentially good, and one that might be bad, and you have to manage the bad one, speaking roughly. where this gets freaky, well it already is freaky, is this thing octavia says in the interview, where it's like, if you imagine you have a bad core, you're a bad person, and you prove that wrong, what that really means is, out of time, in true truth, you have been good this whole time. this seems precisely like the underside of ocd reasoning but, beyond that, because it is ziz who lays all this out, it would then seem extremely important, for one's own salvation or knowledge of oneself as a good person, as an actually 'effective' altruist and whatever (such an odd and scary way to see things, as effective, utile, everything ever in-use), you have to read her closely, and if you correspond with her, and if you know her friends who engage in all this and do all these things to try and help each other know what is going on inside their heads, then her word and the word of that social body becomes extremely powerful in knowing your worth, as this is an ideology/philosophy extremely preoccupied with measurement and... what was it she kept saying, decision something... decision theory? it's always decision theory this and that, and that it's a mathematical thing, octavia said repeatedly 'she's done the math... she's done the math', it recalls a kind of catholic forgiveness, baptism for original sin, not necessarily saying ziz was supposed to be a christ figure of any sort i don't believe she wanted to be seen that way, just that there is this element of a way to prove that what might have been flawed is actually capable of some 'purity' and righteousness, an elemental right, a truth at the bottom of yourself that possesses and articulates itself through you, the good, a total good. this notion of a total good being possible is perhaps something that will trigger a lot of people with negative thinking about themselves, and a deep-seated terror that they could be evil. ziz seemed to enjoy the fear people had of being evil deep inside, saying, according to octavia, if you have problems, that problem is that you are evil, someone who killed herself was not good because she killed herself. this is a cruel line of thinking, certainly if i were learning about this all a few weeks ago i might have let myself read her website closely and given myself new complexes or something.

and maybe the only way to deal with such things would be to involve myself with people down a similar path of thought, where panic sits at the edges, pushing you deeper because of your terror at not being good, or whatever.

'she did the math' and math in philosophy always unsettled me as a way of making decisions, as well as a way of appraising anything that isn't like... a shipment manifest. but we ought to question the existence of the shipping manifest as well, its tight grid and numbers and the timetable which brought it forth... which really brings me to a really difficulty for me, with all this stuff... i am too french... that's a silly way to put it but the 'rationalism' and the 'effectiveness' and the math and so on all alerts a kind of anti-enlightenment thinking i've absorbed from people like foucault and those i've read who followed and those i've read who preceded, but it's immediately untrustable and frankly appears to me as a kind of eugenic mode of thought, where 'wrong' things are snuffed out. there is an ideal form of life, in the construction, essentially, at its root, or an ideal life for all multiple forms, a truth to existence, this means that whatever radiates out, there has to be some kind of limit, it's maybe the most radical and cruel notion of norm possible, but i suppose i might be wrong here. maybe these people are familiar with what i like and are better readers than i? i'm not sure. i am stupid. definitely an idiot. a few centuries before now had i been born i would have been set upon the scaffold, i am sure, for stealing bread in broad daylight on an impulse, because it seemed funny.

and all the ai stuff... it's just so hard to believe it. i keep seeing stuff now about agi, alignment, it's kicking back up, the altman propaganda is kicking into high gear because of fears of china, this is all trade, this is all spectacle, and a spectacular technology, these neural networks, they constrain us, it feels truly impossible for me to not see the 'knowledge' fed into them as already tainted by a weighting which leans a particular direction, the panopticon only grows more virile, the methods not just of observation but discipline, now such a subtle technology, we learn so much by repetition, so much of what we see is online, so much of what is repeated then, will come ever more from the online populated by bots, unchecked spumes of words taking shape of information appear here and there, the same method of speaking, same words, a severe catalog appears of a shored up language, division between what words go where during which social occasion becomes more delineated. i don't know. i don't feel positive about it, it feels custodial for desire the same way all adverts have been custodial for desire, a reduction of things to manageable images of sex etc. so this is reproduced at lower resolution and then carried forth. it feels grim.

on top of all this as i articulated at the beginning the last paragraph, this feels less like... i don't know, am i just biased here, am i out of date with the world? i read an essay about that, that this technology is actually moving so fast we can't fit it into our worldviews. i think i maybe have but i don't like it. i never thought i'd understand the luddites, but i think i do. i never understood it was a worker movement, for one, and that one thing they resisted was the reproduction of life in terms of the factory, in terms of a schedule which robbed them of all kinds of portions of life. that aside, it feels like what we're experiencing is fear as a method of driving advertising and funds. which is in many ways i think something you could see in the cold war of the past. just how much money did our nuclear program eat up... well, that's a silly example, though maybe it proves me wrong a bit. it did eat up a lot of our money, but it did churn out the internet. so i suppose now, we're creating objects we might think of as information warheads, and rather than being any deep intelligence that will destroy us, they can be deployed remotely, a controlled detonation of the internet as a resource and psychological region. since it might only kill a very invisible bunch of people, i guess there's no reason to not use these. they mostly want the invisible people dead. although i also find this not so compelling. the custodial function is here now, probably here to stay, rather than a total rot-ifying of the internet we'll only be beaten over the head with a way to be. less 'us', younger people. i don't know. maybe i want to just lay down and die. i know today was good, so really i don't wanna die at all. but i feel so stupid and useless, about this stuff. how does it appear to anyone that the threat is the terminator when now what we see is probably the forever we're about to be shoved into. i hate 'enshittification' as a word, it's not making things 'shit' it's making them bright and in line with a right and outlining the human as has always been desired. these are not machines which will wake up with post-human desire, this is the history of human desire as long as it has been theorized, the advent of psychology birthing advertising, now we are here, the assumption in all those technologies of 'the human'. i mean, what are we to do with the fact that the 'groundbreaking' research that lead to this all being possible, the man said he was trying to figure out how our minds worked, our brains i guess, and then stumbled upon something 'better,' what does better mean, what measures better, and then:

what's with all this measurement anyhow, wherefore did the measuring come from and why is it such a compulsion. of course the answer is in the back of our throats, the real nightmare of all of this:

a eugenic compulsion!!

and so people sit terrified by roko's basilisk or whatever, oh what if the machine god tortures me because i didn't aid the creation of the maximal good as the good outlined by cruel minds (while repeating the cruel good of those cruel minds in different measures). i remain curious about what other advancements re: computation are coming.

still, as of now the ziz stuff is mostly tragic and the people killed by them, and the people who ended up killed by them aren't really people anyone will really lament too much, extremely abusive parents, a landlord.

here is that video... it's basically silly but i'm now curious about all these people. it's interesting, always interested in groups of people online:

the guy doing the interview is strange but i can't get much of a read on him. he brings up jordan peterson but the impression of him is so friendly and well meaning and dorky (non-mean way... i really don't wanna be mean), in that it seems like if he does 'like' him (which is unclear it's just an example he brings up), it's in that weird way where it's like, a guy who likes to clean his room. maybe i'm making too many excuses and stuff. all this ziz stuff is really intense. there's an anonymous tumblr blog about all this too, from years ago. depressing because they seem to have been friends with the people who died, the people who followed this whole ideology.

i'm watching this 2nd one now... this woman named autumn is talking about functional decision theory which is interesting but also insane, talking now about how you can view the person you decide to be as an algorithm in a sense, as in, an algorithm you run to make decisions, rather than decision to decision, fdt would instead gesture at an overall decisionmaking algorithm which always elects best and you become a better decisionmaker in algorithmic, mathematical terms, your outcomes are superior. this to me, sounds more than anything else, like a discipline!!! carceral reality haunts and perturbs... she seems not so interested in saying it's right, she says it'd be silly to live this way, solely upon these ethical theories.

this is just all too much. unpleasant that something that is basically this complex is going to become a way to scapegoat trans people. exciting times i guess,

i will sleep now,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[shunin-gumis]

Temptation Towards Apoptosis - Track 11

L4mps 1st Feature Event

This chapter was translated by Aca!

Location:  HAMA Tours - Office

Toi: Chief! Thanks for your hard work!

Chief: Toi-kun, ward 15’s feature tour is finally tomorrow.

Chief: It seems like the final checks are going well. Even though Nayuki practically did all of it… 

Nayuki: It’s fine. However… Manager, you could at least pretend to work instead of just standing around.

Daniel: Nonono, wouldn’t it be bad if I couldn’t log on again like last time? Lemme off the hook with this shoulder massage. 

Chief: You’re the same as ever… So what’s up, Toi-kun?

Toi: Here. I thought I should hand over the weekly report cassette tape before the actual day.

Chief: Thank you. 

Toi: Then, I’m going to go to Nagi’s bouquet-making class now!

Chief: … It’s great that Toi-kun’s feeling better.

Nayuki: I heard that he suffered from hypothermia on the last day of the trip and had to be sent to the hospital… 

Daniel: Yeah, and he got better the very next day, it was like nothin’ ever happened. The doctors were just as surprised as we were. 

Nayuki: I’m glad everything’s alright now. Let’s make sure that tomorrow’s feature tour is as flawless as possible. 

Chief: Right. I’ll be taking a little break now, so maybe I should go listen to Toi-kun’s report.

Location: HAMA Tours -  Rooftop

Chief: (That day… Toi-kun’s report after we found him that day with Ryui-kun all tattered up… I wonder what he recorded.)

Toi: “Um… Firstly, Chief… I’m sorry for the trouble that I have caused.”

Toi: “It’s not just what happened with Ani-sama. I’m sure both you and Yodaka-san were worried, seeing me walk barefoot around the hotel, but you didn’t ask any questions.”

Toi: “Thanks to our conversation. I was able to sort out a little of what was bothering me at the time.”

Toi: “It gave me the courage to say what I couldn’t say to Ani-sama before because of it. Though… I probably should have conveyed it better.”

Chief: (That’s true. It was the first time I’ve seen Toi-kun and Ryui-kun raise their voices at each other like that.)

Chief: (However, it’s not really strange for siblings to fight like that sometimes. Even I have fights with my sibling.)

Toi: “I… I’ve told you before that I was afraid of myself changing.”

Toi: “However, taking Yodaka-san’s advice, Both Ani-sama and I thought about what will happen  in the future if I change.”

Toi: “I’ve come to realize what I truly want. I don’t want Ani-sama to stay by my side, but rather, I want to stay by his side.”

Chief: (…I wonder if it’s related to what happened that day in the blizzard.)

Toi: “It might not seem like much, but it’s a very important difference to me.”

Toi: That’s why I thought it would be nice for everyone to experience a “journey to face one’s self” for this tour. 

Toi: Chief, I’d like you to watch over our hospitality until the very end.

Chief: Toi-kun… It seems like he’s recovered mentally and physically too.

Chief: (I might not know the full details concerning Toi-kun and Ryui-kun’s family circumstances…)

~~~(flashback)

Ryui: …Well, I guess anyone that doesn’t know is better off that way.

Location: HAMA Tours - Rooftop

Chief: (I’m sure keeping us in the dark is their own way of showing their kindness.) 

Chief: (That’s why, when the day they both ask us for help comes, I’ll do my best to support them.) Chief: (I’ll keep supporting them so that they continue to be happy…!)

Location: HAMA House 2nd Floor’s Hallway

Nagi: Oh, Ryui.

Ryui: What d’ya want? We gotta get up early tomorrow, I wanna sleep early.

Nagi: I’m sorry I couldn’t answer your calls.

Ryui: Calls?

Nagi: On that day, You called me too, right? I saw my call history.

Ryui: …

~~~(flashback)

Yodaka: Did anyone manage to get through them?

Chief: No. I’ve been trying to get a hold of them for a while now…!

Nagi: Seems like I can’t reach them either.

Location: HAMA House 2nd Floor Hallway

Nagi: At the time, I thought I couldn’t reach you, but apparently I forgot that I set my phone to airplane mode.

Ryui: …Figured it was somethin’ like that.

Nagi: That’s why I’m sorry.

Nagi: But, thank you for relying on me.

Ryui: …You’re gettin’ the wrong idea. It just happened that your name was on top of the call list.

Nagi: Oh, but Ryui, I think you should apologize to everyone. We were worried because you went on your own without telling anyone where you were going.

Ryui: Well… I was gonna apologize anyways even if you hadn’t said anything.

Nagi: Then… since we’re here, do you want to practice? SorryI’msorryIapologizepleaseforgivemeI’lldoanythingtomakeituptoyouI’llpaywithmylife…

Ryui: Shut the fuck up!!

Location: mahorova Lobby

Hassaku: Now then… It seems like the metaverse is being used as a venue again, similar to the tour in Ward 11 last time.  Hassaku: Last time, it was an escape game, but I wonder what it will be this time…

Yunyun: Oh~? Hey, you’re the gramps who stopped by at our bar during the First Tour, yeah?

Hassaku: Oh? …And you must be?

Yunyun: Just a lil ‘ol employee working at the Ten Nights of Dreams BAR in Ward 17.

Hassaku: I see. You remembered my face. How impressive of you. 

Yunyun: It’s the least I can do~ Thank you for your continuous patronage. 

Yunyun: Takin’ part in the tour? Come by HAMA often, gramps? 

Hassaku: *coughs* Well, it is for work after all.

Chief: The entrance to “A Night Spent in a Custom Cocoon Hut Tour” by HAMA Tours is right over here!

Daniel: The temperature in the tour area has been lowered, so please make sure to give your avatars something warm to wear beforehand.

Yunyun: Oh, looks like Hiroshi’s doin’ his job for once.  Hassaku: Very well, shall we go have a look?

Event Masterpost

Next Track

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @kaylinalexanderbooks!

Five Lines Tag

Rules: post a line from your WIP that follows the prompt

My prompts, which are: A line about the weather A line about a secret A line said sarcastically A line about home A line about an animal

Let's see what MG3 has in store

A line about the weather

“Avymere!” they hissed, waving eagerly.

The Duchon jumped, spluttering slightly as they squinted in confusion. Elsind caught the exact moment when they put together who the strange human shouting at them was. The changeling jogged up, a mirthful expression on their face.

“Greetings.” Avymere gave them a nod. “Enjoying the weather?”

Elsind couldn’t have honestly told you if it was sunny or cloudy, they just took Avymere by the hand, practically hopping in excitement. Tentatively, a smile made its twitching way onto Avymere’s face as well. It looked terribly strange sitting there. Not the sort of expression crafted for portrait sittings or cabinet meetings. This wasn’t a smile Avymere used often, as it was a rare honest one.

A line about a secret

“Cool your jets,” Astra made a soothing gesture. “We’ll be fine. These jobs’re gonna get done, no matter how much Antonin thinks he can stall for time. Besides, even if he is a pisswad, helpin’ us is in ’is best interest.”

Marius shook his head. “You don’t understand. Maybe you would if you’d actually thoroughly read the contract. Antonin isn’t going to give you shit once you finish the third job. It says in the contract that you must accept his decree of completion for the agreement to be fulfilled. I don’t know how to make it any more clear, but he’s not going to give you that godsdamned decree.”

“But why?” Mashal crossed his arms, confused, while Astra gave an indignant scoff in the background. “We— We’re trying to keep this city from being conquered. The entire Montane family will be killed if Vermir gets her way. He has no reason to not work with us.”

“Oh, you poor kids.” The banker sighed, shaking his head. “Do you know what a wartime economy would mean for this family’s finances?”

A line said sarcastically

“Oh, Avy….” Elsind sighed sadly. They got up and, from the sounds of things, began to put together a small tray of food.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Avyemere choked out. Even talking made their leg hurt. “I should be strong enough. I’m meant to be. My people deserve better.”

“Better than some elf half-delious with pain and stress? Yeah, I agree. But also, you deserve better, too. You shouldn’t have put that much pressure on yourself—no one should have to.” The bed dipped as Elsind sat back down. “Why don’t you get some food in you, take your meds, and see if that helps? I guarantee at least some of this is just your body wanting calories so it can heal your leg.”

Glancing over, Avymere saw that Elsind had prepared a small plate of cut fruit from the little coldbox at the end of the room, as well as a mug of steeping tea. Again, they felt even more tears threaten to break past their eyes at the sight.

A line about home

Here, away from the crowd, Astra could admit to herself that she was terrified. Divine magic or not, Vermir had nearly killed her twice before, and that was before she’d taken the sorcery of half a city. However, her terror was a strangely resigned thing. This was odd, as Astra had never been resigned about anything a day in her life.

Tomorrow’s gonna happen, she thought. I might die, I might win, I might end up lookin’ over a world conquered by that eikodoro monster knowin’ I was too weak to stop ’er. All I do know is that I’m tired a’ bein’ scared. Let’s just get this nonsense over with and call it a day. I miss my cat. I miss my folks. I wanna go home and get scared about little, petty things for a while.

A line about an animal

Tramping through the mud were dozens of hardbitten teamsters, all calling and crowing like birds greeting the sun. Horses snorted and stamped, so much bigger than Elsind had ever imagined, and much smellier, too. Wagons stood in rows like tarp-covered neighborhoods. The wind flowing down from the looming Siegewall Mountains whipped at hair, clothes, and anything not nailed down, kicking up massive clouds of dust that caused Avymere to cough uncontrollably.

“How do we know how to talk to?” Elsind asked, tapping his fingers nervously. Given the noise of the crowd, he nearly had to shout to be heard.

“We need to….” Avymere trailed off as they peered through the crowd. Their expression remained a serene mask, yet Elsind was a connoisseur of faces, so he picked up on the subtle furrow of their brow. The Duchon was as lost here as he was.

I'll tag @leahnardo-da-veggie @wyked-ao3 @jev-urisk @daisywords @theink-stainedfolk and anyone else who wants to play :)

Your prompts: A line about the weather, A line about a secret, A line said sincerely, A line about a house, A line about water

[slutdge]

partial-sobriety update under the cut

i was trying to go completely alcohol free for the day but the withdrawals are really awful, i cant stop shaking, my heart is racing, i havent slept at all, and im scared of having another withdrawal seizure. i took 1000 mg of gabapentin to try and help and it didnt even make a dent. ive 3 beers left in the fridge so i think im just gonna slowly drink those throughout the day just so it will lower the risk of seizure and maybe make me able to take a nap, but nothing more than that, im hoping tomorrow i can really go alcohol free for a whole day. if youve missed any of my previous addiction journal posts, I'm not striving for full 100% sobriety cause i know im not capable of that right now and its gonna result in a really nasty relapse, but im trying to not get blackout drunk every single night anymore like i usually do so i dont wake up experiencing heavy withdrawal symptoms and immediately need to go back to the bottle to feel better. im trying to drink like.... an amount a normal person would drink, or probably actually a little above that cause again i just dont think im there yet and i need to ease myself into this. i really dont think im gonna be able to go fully sober until i get out of this abusive living situation so im just trying to practice harm reduction in the meantime. im working to leave but its hard and itll be a couple years probably at least. it fucking sucks and i hate it lmao. i just wanna feel alive for the first time in my life and not like a walking corpse all the time. i know there will still be challenges after i get out but it will be a lot easier to face them if i dont yknow. have a boot on my neck 24/7.