#so i suppose. it remains a topic of some small interest.

[unopenablebox]

came home at 8:45 from work and 🌸 was already fast asleep fully dressed on the bed phone in hand completely unresponsive to sound including name-calling and loud floor creaks

probably they were planning to get more work done this evening but i'm going to sabotage that by turning their light off and ordering takeout so i don't make any cooking noises to wake them up, hopefully causing them to get up to a full 12 hours of sleep for what i think would be the first time in two and a half years

[matryosika]

Never Have I Ever

Pairing — Chan, Changbin x fem!reader Wordcount — 8,913 words Genre — 18+ Includes — Mentions of body insecurities and past romantic relationships. Struggles with sex and sexuality. Consumption of alcohol (but no sex under the influence). Explicit sexual content, smut warnings under the cut. Author's note — It's been a while since I've post something this lengthy... I have to be honest, I started writing this last year (July 2022) but I felt so unsatisfied with it that I never got to post it. I made some corrections, added some more details and now I'm ready to share it with you! Hope you like it. Please remember to leave a comment, reblog or ask if you liked this. And! This is the yearly reminder that I own a ko-fi. If you wish to support my work further, you can leave me a tip there! The link is on my pinned post. Thank you for reading me.

Smut warnings — Use of pet names (baby and princess). Dirty talk, threesome activities, mutual masturbation, oral sex (m. receiving), double penetration, first time anal, description of pain and crying during sex. Multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, pulling out and facial.

"Never have I ever..." Chan hummed, his right hand swirling the green bottle he had been drinking from for the past minutes, "had sex in a public place".

He looked at you and then at Changbin, his curious gaze wondering how he missed an opportunity to make either of you drink from your alcoholic beverage.

"I haven't had sex in a public place," Changbin mumbled, "but I have done other things".

"You have to drink either way," Chan insisted.

"You said sex," the black-haired complained, "next time try to be more specific".

You sat there in silence with a look of amusement as you witnessed the silly discussion your two best friends were holding.

"There will not be a next time," Chan sighed, leaving his bottle on top of the small coffee table next the shared couch, "at this rate, we are going to be wasted and she will remain sober".

You smiled with victory imprinted on your face, imitating Chan's action and leaving your beverage on top of the table, "we should've betted money on who was the most innocent one among the three of us, I could've ended the night with more bucks than the ones I have on my wallet".

"I can't believe you dated that asshole for 3 years and yet you didn't do anything with him," Changbin murmured with disbelief.

"Do you think I am lying?" You questioned him, tilting your head slightly backwards and resting it on the wall behind.

"I know for a fact you are not," Changbin replied, "that's why I’m impressed".

"Well," you took the bowl of chips that was placed between you and Chan, "sex isn't everything in a relationship."

"You say so because you haven't fucked," Chan scoffed, his characteristic dimples showing as soon as the sound of his laughter escaped his lips.

"We did fuck though".

"You say so because you haven't fucked properly," Changbin corrected his best friend's statement, the choice of words making your skin burn in embarrassment.

"Just because I am not into the kinky stuff you guys like doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the sex with him," you whined, throwing a cushion at Changbin, "plus, why are we making my sexual life a topic of conversation? that's something private".

"It's just amusing," Chan mumbled, taking a sip from the bottle, "you didn't drink from your soju the whole time".

"You guys asked such odd questions," you admitted, "threesomes, sex in public places... how was I supposed to drink when I have no interest in those sorts of things?"

"Alright, alright," Changbin interrupted, both of his arms doing signals for you and chan to be quiet, "we will start small".

You looked at Changbin and then at Chan, unsure of what the twisted game your dark-haired friend was thinking about. Nonetheless, your hand reached out for the bottle of soju and you returned back to your previous position, back against the wall and head tilted slightly backwards.

"Never have I ever given my partner oral sex," Changbin mumbled, both pairs of dark eyes fixed on you as they waited for your final answer.

Placing the tip of the bottle in between your lips, you made sure to drink just a small sip from it. Not being too fond of the taste of alcohol nor the feeling of being drunk, you tried your best to limit your consumption during the evening. Of course, playing this kind of game was rather easy for someone as inexperienced as you were.

"Never have I ever received oral sex," Chan continued the attack, expecting you to hold the bottle again and drink from it.

But, after a few seconds of awkward looks and odd grimaces, he understood that you were not going to take another sip of alcohol.

"Never have I ever tried anal sex," Changbin queried and, again, no response from you. "Well, that one was a bit obvious".

You darted him a killer gaze and he scoffed, looking absolutely unimpressed by your sexual inexperience.

"Never have I ever tried more than 2 different sexual positions with my partner," Chan questioned with a teasing smirk and, for the first time that night, you felt a bit shy at your lack of experience.

It was true that your sexual life wasn't the best, not even with your ex-boyfriend of 3 years, but you wouldn't dare to admit it out loud. For some reason, the thought of having to talk about how much he sucked at those things embarrassed you and, knowing your best friends, they wouldn't be able to forget such a confession.

"No wonder why you broke up with him," Changbin whispered, diverting your attention from Chan's image all the way to his. "Let me guess, missionary and doggy?"

You were not the type to get your cheeks blushed but still, the skin on your face was burning in shame.

"Never have I ever faked an orgasm with my partner," Chan added, capturing your whole attention once again.

You knew Chan and, if you were to take a wild guess, you would say that his countenance changed from amusement to concern. In his face, you could catch a glimpse of almost the same reaction he had when you told him all about your break up and how your boyfriend cheated on you several times before you found out. 

Even though his reaction was rather odd to you, you still took a sip of your bottle, "shit".

"This is way worse than I thought," Changbin sighed, stretching his body and placing both of his hands behind his neck.

"Just one more question and I will let this go," Chan hummed, trying to satisfy his curiosity without making you uncomfortable, "alright?"

You nodded with resignation, "shoot".

"Never have I ever had an orgasm with a partner," and, as soon as you heard those words, you couldn't help but fix your gaze at your shoelaces that were a hundred times more interesting than whatever was going on inside the tiny living room of your apartment.

"Damn," Changbin's harsh voice interrupted, breaking the awkward silence that was starting to fall down upon the three of you, "are you serious?"

"Why would I lie to you about these things?" you asked with a high-pitched voice, your mind bringing back the memories of the few times you got to spend with your ex.

To be completely honest with yourself, you couldn't deny how hideous the sex with him was. It was rushed, fast, boring. He was focused on his pleasure rather than yours, lasting for not more than 5 minutes and calling it a day. "I'm exhausted", "I came so hard", "I'm so sleepy" were just a few of the things he used to mumble right after overcoming his high and, as much as you loved him at the time, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed after each session. He made you feel like an object who was only meant to give him pleasure without receiving any and, for the longest time, you thought it was completely normal.

"You never talked to him about these things?" Changbin questioned you, making your heart sink at the realization that he was just as worried as Chan was about the whole situation.

"It is not a big deal guys," you tried to convince them, even when you knew that it was, in fact, a big deal, "luckily we are not together anymore so I can leave those boring experiences in the past".

"Still," Chan's words felt like he was scolding you, "you went down on him several times and he couldn't even do that for you".

"Yeah, well-" you sighed, standing up from your seat and stretching your whole body, "I will make sure to get a better and trustworthy fuck buddy next time, I have learned my lesson".

Chan and Changbin remained silent as you started to pick up the mess from the living room, gathering the empty bottles of soju and the wrappings of the snacks you had been eating that night.

"Why don't you help me clean up?" you queried, looking down on them while they spared complicit glances at each other, "the living room is a mess and I don't have plans on doing chores tomorrow morning".

"Hey," Changbin hummed, still sitting on the floor with both of his palms against the rug, "we uh-"

The way your dark-haired roommate stumbled upon his words made you curious about what he was going to say next.

"We would like to help you out with your other issue," Chan spitted, bluntly. Still sitting on the couch with his legs spread, he lifted up his gaze to meet yours.

"What other-" you started the sentence with a smile on your face but, as soon as you realized what they meant, the smile and fondness was transformed into nervousness and curiosity, "oh".

"Oh," Changbin repeated almost with the same intonation you did.

"Listen, you don't have to agree to this," Chan rushed to say, standing up from the couch almost as the same time his friend did from the floor, "me and Changbin, we have discussed this for a while now but we just- we never knew how to approach you about it".

You looked at the two men standing in front of you, suddenly feeling your knees and legs ten times weaker than before. For a while, how long is a while?

"When you say a while, what do you mean?" you asked him, slowly placing the empty bottles on top of the table again.

"We both thought you were attractive the first time you moved in with us," Changbin explained, clearing up his throat as he watched you take a seat on the couch again, now they were the ones looking down on you. "Of course, at the time you had a boyfriend and everything, it was never really a plan, just a thought".

"A thought?"

Changbin looked at Chan and then diverted his gaze to something else, trying hard to avoid giving more information than he needed to.

"One night we were just talking about how much we both liked you," Chan spoke slowly, trying to find just the right words to portray their twisted and perverted fantasies with you, "how much we wanted to be with you, like that"..

"And you have decided to tell me that right now because…"

"We just saw an opportunity to bring the topic and we took it," Changbin continued without even daring to make eye-contact with you, "we don't really lose anything by asking".

"A threesome, then?" you queried with your pair of eyes fixed on them. It was new how nervous they looked right then and there in front of you, clenching their jaws and avoiding eye contact at all costs.

Both of them nodded.

"I... will think about it," you concluded shyly, expecting them to say something else rather than nodding and continuing on picking up the trash that you had placed on top of the table after hearing such revelation.

Other than agreeing and whispering a series of "okay, yeah's", your roommates didn't say anything else. The tension in the environment changed but, at the same time, it didn't feel awkward or overwhelming. If you had to describe it, you would dare to say it was almost pensive.

"You have work tomorrow?" Chan asked, interrupting the silence that was quick to build up after your last words.

"No, I am taking this weekend off," you replied, carrying the green bottles all the way to your kitchen counter.

"I'll get those," Changbin mumbled, picking up the bottles that you had left behind because you could only carry that much.

You didn't want to give them the wrong impression, one where you felt awkwardly uncomfortable at their proposal to the point of not wanting to interact with them in any way, but it was almost impossible to talk when your mind was filled with thoughts.

"Everything alright?" Changbin queried, closing the trash bag and leaving it on the floor right next to the trash can.

"Yeah I just- I'm feeling very tired," you replied, blinking several times before fixing your gaze on him, "it has been a while since I drank".

Liar.

You drank less than half a bottle of soju and all three people in that room knew that. 

"You should go to sleep, " the black-haired murmured, not daring to look at you. "We will clean the rest of the living room and continue on working for a bit before going to bed, it's still early".

You unlocked your phone, without having any notion of time, and realized that he was right. You thought it was already midnight but the clock was barely at 10 p.m.

"Thanks," you politely replied, brushing your hands against your denim jeans and standing there for a while before excusing yourself, "goodnight".

As you walked from the kitchen and back to the living room, Changbin's gaze burned on your skin like a fresh cut. He wasn't nervous or uncomfortable, no. He was probably regretful, thinking that the two of them had screwed up an adorable friendship with their best friend just for the sake of wanting to get their dicks wet.

"Goodnight Chan," you mumbled while walking across the living room, Chan's eyes lifting up to meet yours without hesitation.

"Hey," he said, clearing his throat and turning his whole body around to face you, "me and Changbin, we wouldn't want things to get awkward".

"Me neither," you faintly smiled, trying to give him the reassurance he needed in order to understand that you weren't uncomfortable nor scared after their proposal. "I'm alright, don't worry too much about it".

And after he offered you a smile back, you closed your bedroom door right behind you.

Saying you were alright was a lie, especially when your whole body stopped being numb and regained its consciousness. The wetness between your thighs betrayed you once again, just like every other time you were around those two.

"Fuck," you whispered to yourself, closing your eyes and swallowing hard.

Only then, you started to mentally curse yourself. You knew how bad you wanted them, how many nights you spent touching yourself wishing it was one of them making you feel good. You, who even while being in a committed relationship, spent hours and hours daydreaming about any of them bending you over the kitchen counter and fucking you until you couldn't do anything but take them completely.

I will think about it.

There was absolutely nothing to think about and you knew it. What was stopping you then? Trying to act all collected and insightful when, in reality, there was not a single day where you could go without pleasuring yourself to the thought of them.

What is stopping me?

You stood there in silence for a few more minutes until you heard their room's door closing, rushing to grab a towel and a pair of clean clothes before running into the shared bathroom of the apartment. It was safe to say that it had been a long day.

Letting the hot water run and taking every single article of clothing before stepping right into the shower, you asked the same question one more time: what is stopping me?

And, as your eyes found your reflection in the foggy mirror, you understood the answer.

You could dream about them as much as you would like, but the nervousness of being not one but with two new partners scared you to death. 

They proposed to you. 

The idea was appealing, but the anguish that it represented was too strong to be fought in such a small period of time. You trusted them with your life, you really did, but you also knew them more than anyone else in the whole world. You knew what kind of girls they dated and what kind of things they did. You were nowhere near those qualifications and the fact that they even brought that idea was as flattering as it was confusing. 

Either way, the mere thought of knowing they desired you like that made you wonder what kind of perverted ideas they thought about whenever they saw you around. What did they see in you that you failed to appreciate?

*

Standing in front of their bedroom's door, you breathed three times before finding the courage to knock on it. The clock would strike 12 a.m. and you knew for sure they were still awake. That excited you as much as it scared you.

The door opened before you could knock again, unsure if they had heard the first pair of faint knocks. Just as you had predicted, both of them were still working on some of their projects.

"Everything alright, princess?" Changbin queried, his dark eyes scanning your figure with discretion. 

Princess. Changbin called you like that sometimes for as long as you could remember and it never failed to have the desired effect on you.

Wearing a black oversized shirt with nothing underneath but a pair of pink panties, it struck you only then that maybe you had executed your idea wrong. In your mind, you completely missed the part of the small chat before telling them your verdict about the proposal.

"Can I come in?" you asked, his body walking just a few steps back as he opened the door for you.

Chan turned around on his chair, welcoming himself with the sight of your body.

"I thought about it," you murmured shyly, sitting on the edge of Chan's bed before daring to look at the hungry gazes of your best friends, "and I want it".

"Hey," Chan rushed to call out your name, his parted lips inhaling more air than usual, "don't feel pressured to do it, if you decide not to I promise things are still going to be the same".

"I mean it," you assured him, "I just- I have a condition".

The three of you looked at each other for a couple of seconds in silence.

"Go on," Chan spoke, his whole body leaning forward.

“You said you often thought about me in that way".

"We do, yeah," one of them voiced but the two of them nodded, eager to hear the rest of your demand.

"I-" for a short moment, your breath got caught up in your throat and you wondered if the sudden courage and bravery were sponsored by the cheap alcohol or your undeniable arousal, "I want to know what you think about me".

Changbin looked at Chan and then at you, his body language changing drastically from relaxed to tense in a matter of seconds.

"Is that what you really want?" He queried. His voice was as seductive as it was intimidating, his question seeming more like a warning than an invitation. 

You simply nodded.

"I know nothing about this," you murmured, the warmth on your skin spreading throughout your body as Chan's and Changbin's gaze fixed on your eyes, "and you two are the most trustworthy men I know".

"So you want us to teach you?" Chan asked with a soft scoff, the lowness of his voice taking you by surprise.

"I just want to understand what is so appealing about sex to other people," you admitted, shrugging your shoulders and tilting your head, "I just want to know how much I have missed".

Chan couldn't help but smile with fondness at your words, the warmth in his chest mixing up with the warmth between his legs. It wasn't just the fact that you trusted them enough to give your body to the two of them —it was the knowledge that, now that you had accepted their plea, they had the opportunity to make you feel like no one before.

Changbin walked up to your figure, the mattress slightly sinking as he took a seat right next to you. Whether it was out of nervousness or pure excitement, you couldn't help but shudder once the fabric of his black shorts brushed against the naked skin of your thighs.

"Don't be afraid," he cooed, his right hand moving upwards to find the left side of your face and turning it towards him, "you trust us, right?”

Your eyes met the curvature of his lips and, while his face approached you softly, you melted into his hands. The way his breath was stupidly close to be felt and his hand burned deliciously against your skin had you letting out a soft sigh before making the desired contact with him.

And it felt just like you had imagined it. Even better, you would dare to say.

Alcohol, a pinch of cherries and faint cigarette smoke were how you would describe his taste. He was gentle, maybe more gentle than you had expected him to be. His tongue dragged across your lips without going any further, teasing you and almost making you beg for more. He wasn't running out of breath but you were, letting out small whines while you tugged at the neck of his black t-shirt.

Only then, he interrupted the kiss by sinking his teeth on your lower lip and softly pulling at them, earning a sweet hiss from you.

"Should I go next?" Chan softly joked as he stood up from his seat, walking towards the available space of bed right next to you and sliding his hand up your naked thigh. Your parted lips found him immediately, but he remained in his position without going in for a kiss. "But first, you have to promise us something."

"Anything," you whispered out of breath, both men smiling proudly at how eager you were to have your way with them. 

"If you don't feel comfortable with something, you have to tell us," Chan warned, his eyes glued to the way your lips were inviting him to devour them.

Easy task. You nodded almost automatically, knowing that the odds of wanting them to stop were minimum to zero.

"Contrary to that, if there's something that you want, you will have to beg for it", he cooed, a faint smirk appearing on the corner of his lips as he saw the nervousness in your face, "promise?"

You let out a jittery laugh, feeling your accelerated heartbeats in the deepest parts of your throat, "it's embarrassing".

"It is not," Changbin intervened, his breath caressing the crook of your neck and making your eyes close for a quick second, "we will do anything you ask us to”.

"What do you get from it?" you questioned softly, your mind dizzy from both confusion and arousal.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" Chan asked, tilting his head and brushing your lips with his, completely ignoring your question. 

"Yes," you whispered, your heartbeats going at a mile per hour. Chan smiled against your lips without going any further, trying to give you the clue that you were not following one of his rules, "please Chan, kiss me".

Only then you felt his hand wrapping around your wrist, guiding it towards his lap. He soon placed it on top of his hardened bulge without a warning, his hips moving ever so slightly against the palm of your hand. "Do you see what you can cause if you beg nicely for us?" his hoarse voice inquired and you nodded almost automatically, both of your eyes probably opened like plates at his grittiness, “good”. 

He then gave you what you were wishing for so long, his plump lips moving against yours at a much slower pace than you had expected from him. It was almost as if he wanted to taste every inch of your lips that were mixed with your own taste and Changbin's. 

Unexpectedly, Changbin's hand caressed the skin on your thighs making you tremble against their bodies, Chan's lips drowning one of many pathetic whines that were urging to leave your mouth. Changbin dragged his touch further, lifting the fabric of your oversized t-shirt and finding the pleasant surprise of your pink, laced panties.

"You wore this for us?" he asked against your ear, the sound of his voice and breathing sending shivers down your spine, "you should've thought about it twice because i'm going to rip it off of you”. 

Another chill traveled throughout your body and your skin got covered in goosebumps, an action that didn't go unnoticed by the black-haired one. "You get turned on by words easily," he hummed, nibbling at the skin of your neck, "I'll remember that".

Chan broke the kiss to grasp for some air, the eyes that once looked at you with fondness were now completely clouded by nothing but lust. 

Changbin continued on kissing and biting your neck, that only contributed to the wet patch between your legs becoming way noticeable as Chan's fingertips threatened to make contact with your underwear, the fear of being exposed making you dwell in embarrassment.

"Now, tell us," Chan requested while his fingers reached for the skin of your inner thighs, "why did you change your mind?"

"I-" you tried to give an answer but Changbin's lips attached to your neck and Chan's touch lingering in between your legs were making the simple task feel ten times harder, "I was curious".

"That’s it?" Changbin asked, dragging his tongue along your skin and making you squirm under him, "I know there's something you are not telling us, princess".

And he was right. 

But how were you supposed to tell them that, even long before knowing that they were sexually attracted to you, you fantasized about them every single night?

Even when you were in a relationship.

"I like you two too," you mumbled in between sighs, fearing that Chan's playful smirk meant that he knew exactly what was going on in your perverted mind, "I thought about you as well".

"And what is it that you thought?" Chan questioned, his digits making the desired contact against your clothed core making you part your legs ever so slightly for them, "you can tell us, we know how to keep secrets". Even though the sentence was rather sweet, the hidden meaning behind it increased the tension on your lower abdomen, "after all, we are your best friends, right?".

"I thought about how good you two could make me feel," you whispered, Changbin's figure withdrawing from your neck and fixing your gaze on the masterpieces he had created on it, your skin now decorated with red bruises along it, "I thought about your fingers, often".

Changbin let out a soft laugh, the tip of his digits dragging along your t-shirt and clothed breasts only to end up brushing his thumb against your mouth, "show me how much you have thought about them, then".

With a curious look, you wrapped your lips around his digits without breaking eye contact. You sucked on them slowly, unsure if that was the action he was expecting from you. But, when he let out a soft groan, you understood that you were on the right path.

"Is this what you dreamt about, princess?" he questioned, pushing his fingers deep inside you as you nodded eagerly.

While you were too focused on Changbin's task, you didn't notice how Chan was lifting up your t-shirt to expose more of your thighs and underwear, the wet patch now becoming completely visible for him. He gently caressed your lower abdomen and made its way to your clothed slit, dragging one finger in circular motions and earning a sudden sigh out of you that was repressed by Changbin's digits.

"What was that, baby?" Chan scoffed, impressed by how sensitive you were.

Changbin took his fingers out of your mouth as Chan slid your panties to the side, licking his lips at the sight of how wet you were.

For a moment, you felt shy. Exposed. 

You wanted to close your legs and tell them that you didn't think the whole thing through but Chan's voice was what took you out of those intrusive thoughts.

"You are beautiful," he hummed, his heavy breathing ringing into your ears, "so fucking pretty".

You swallowed hard at his compliments, the skin on your whole body heating up in shyness as you got used to your best friends praising you in that way. 

Changbin's digits turned your chin to face him, placing his index and middle fingers in front of your lips as a mischievous smile appeared on his face.

"Tell Chan how bad you need him to touch you," he ordered, his eyes fixed on the way your lips parted almost instinctively as he brushed them against your lips.

"Chan-" you tried to speak, but your breath got caught up in your throat too soon, "please-".

"Tell him exactly what you want," the dark-haired spoke again. 

Your gaze turned to Chan who was sitting on the opposite side as Changbin, his fingers swirling around the skin of your thighs without actually making contact where you needed him the most.

"Will you touch me, Chan?" you queried, the way your eyes looked at him sending a pinch of electricity to his already hardened erection, "please".

He smiled at your words and, almost immediately, followed your request. Your whole body trembled against them due to the unfamiliar feeling of having someone else other than you touching you like that.

"What else does our princess need?" Changbin cooed, forcing you to face him once again.

"Your fingers," you sighed, trying hard to maintain eye contact as Chan rubbed your clit painfully slowly, "can I please suck on them?".

It was the way you politely asked and not really begged that had them over the edge. It sounded filthier, more humiliating, they would say.

Changbin pushed both of his fingers inside your mouth and, as he pounded them deeper, a loud moan from you that was caught around his digits sent waves of pleasure throughout the whole body.

"Suck them properly," he commanded, admiring how your head acquired a pace of its own as you gag on them, "I’m fucking your pretty pussy with them".

Chan's digits kept on teasing your clit, your hips instinctively moving against them while you tried to intensify the feeling.

"Right there, princess," he cooed, smiling at how your body was more than ready to be fucked, "you are behaving so well".

Changbin's fingers went in deeper, making you gag and drool all over them. Judged by the way he was watching you, you would dare to say that he loved it. He loved how messy you looked, with your innocent gaze fixed on him and your chin completely covered with your own saliva.

"Baby," Chan hummed, leaving kisses on your shoulders and clavicles while he made your way to your ear, "do you think you are ready to take our fingers?"

Pulling away from Changbin's digits you nodded eagerly, the sinful scene of your teary eyes and drooling mouth was enough for the both of them to cum right then and there, completely in love by the ruined image of their beautiful best friend.

"I need them inside me," you whispered, "please fuck them inside me".

Changbin lost no time into guiding his hand all over your wet cunt, the digits that were previously fucking your mouth now grazing against your hole and threatening to force themselves into it.

"Are you always this wet when you think of us?" Chan queried, looking at how his bedsheets were now stained with your own juices.

"I am," you admitted, placing your head on his chest while he held you tight against him, "I am always so wet".

Changbin pushed both of his fingers inside you knowing that, with how wet you were and how good you had lubricated his fingers, the feeling was going to be everything but painful.

"Fuck-" you hissed, moving your hips unexpectedly and feeling that foreign tension on your lower back, "God-".

"Do you want to know a secret?" Chan asked, admiring your face of pure bliss as Changbin's fingers fucked your cunt and his palm rubbed against your swollen clit. You weakly nodded. "We often talked about you, me and him," he sighed, "we wondered how many times you had been walking around the apartment with your underwear drenched or how many times you had touched yourself in your room while we were sleeping".

"She is dripping wet," Changbin hummed, his lips approaching one of your ears, "I bet it would be so easy to just bend her over any surface of the apartment and put our cocks inside her pretty pussy, don't you think so?"

"Fuck yes," you whined, your vision getting clouded with each of Changbin's movements, “it would be so easy for you two to have me whenever you please".

"Only for us?" Chan scoffed, your words having the desired effect on him as his bulge grew harder and harder, "you are adorable".

Both of your hands traveled to their laps, your right one on Changbin's and your left one on Chan's. Shyly, you started palming them through their clothes, earning a faint laugh from Changbin who was still working on your cunt.

"Tell us what you want, princess," he cooed, "we might give you permission if you use your words." 

As soon as you were about to speak, Chan's digits replaced Changbin's palm and continued on rubbing your clit while the dark-haired fucked you at a rougher pace, the soft moans becoming louder and louder as the seconds passed by.

"Please, let me touch you," you whined, moving frantically against their hands, "I want to touch you too".

"Go on," he allowed, his voice becoming lower as your timid hands palmed him through the thin fabric of his shorts.

And without losing any more time, you snuck your hands under their clothes, being welcomed by the warmth of their skins as your hands wrapped around their lengths.

However, you were rather impressed by what you found underneath those clothes.

"Don't be scared," Chan murmured as he noticed your countenance, "we will make them fit”. 

You cursed again at his words, the tension on your lower back increasing as well as the frantic movements of your hands around them.

They couldn't help themselves but let out small grunts and sighs as you jerked them off, pulling down their clothes to give you even more access to their cocks.

Moving your hands up and down, the movements soon started to become sloppier and messier, your eyes started to roll to the back of your head and incoherent words and mumbles were escaping your lips as an unfamiliar feeling took control over you.

"You are clenching so fucking hard around me," Changbin groaned, increasing the pace of his digits, "does that feel good, princess?"

"Fuck yes," you sighed, the overwhelming feeling causing tears to prick into the corner of your eyes, "don't stop, don't stop, don't stop".

"You look so pretty like this," Chan praised, his hot breath tickling against your cheek, "all desperate and needy".

"Faster," you cried, moving your hips in circular motions against them, "please touch me faster".

And as good, compassionate best friends they were, the two of them followed your pleas. You knew that it wasn't going to take you long to reach your climax and, with all honesty, you could say that this was something you had never experienced before.

Maybe because of it you looked too desperate and eager in front of them, moving your hips frantically and trembling between their bodies as you reached your high.

The sight was something they would never forget, feeling the way your hand squeezed their cocks with roughnes as you cried and rode your orgasm. 

"Aren't you such a dirty princess?" Changbin groaned, still fucking you at the same pace just when you were reaching the highest point of your climax and forcing both of your legs open, "coming for the first time in no other than your best friend's bed".

"Oh, God," you cried, biting your lower lip while your body was still shaking.

"Don't close them just yet, baby" Chan mumbled, his digits collecting all of your juices while he held you in place, "don't you want to taste yourself?"

You whined at the faint overstimulation from Chan's digits dragging along your slit, getting completely coated by your arousal. They made their way to your lips and you were quick to clean them up completely, bopping your head and drooling all over them.

Soon, the weight on the bed from your right side shifted as Changbin's figure stood up from his seat. Lowering his shorts and underwear completely, his cock was now at full disposal to you.

And God, was he big.

"Come here," he demanded, signaling for you to kneel right in front of him, "show me what you've thought about me”. 

You had given blowjobs before, countless times, but your ex boyfriend was nowhere near to what you had in front of you. Your mind drifted away as it thought about his thick girth filling you up, making you cry both in pain and pleasure but, soon, those trails of thoughts were interrupted when Chan's figure came into the picture.

"We will be gentle," Chan hissed, placing his hand on the back of your head and guiding you all the way to his hardened length, 

Starting off with kitty licks, you dragged your tongue along the tip of Chan's cock. He let out a soft moan that only encouraged you to explore further, taking the head inside of your warm mouth as your hand reached out for Changbin's length.

"Jerk him off while I fuck your mouth, do you think you can do that?" you nodded against his cock, "if I get too rough, squeeze my thigh and I will stop".

You nodded once again, feeling how his hands pushed you deeper into his length. You were not really trained to take him, but you were determined to prove to them that you deserved to be fucked.

"All the way in," he hissed, hearing how you struggled to prevent yourself from gagging, "don't hold back, baby, let me hear you choking on my cock".

Relaxing your throat for a bit, you were able to take more of him. Squeezing Changbin's cock everytime Chan's length reached a deeper spot inside your mouth, he couldn't stop himself from letting out grunts and groans each time.

"My turn," Changbin hissed, one of his hands gripping your hair in a ponytail and guiding your face towards his length. With drool all over your chin, and letting out small coughs, you took Changbin's cock inside as if you were an expert on it. Now, your opposite hand reached out for Chan's length as you stroked himself with your own saliva.

"You are doing a great job," Changbin praised, closing his eyes and slamming his hips slowly against your mouth, "taking two cocks at the same time".

From then on, you started acquiring a pace of your own while sucking them off. Having one of their cocks inside of your mouth while stroking the other one, you spent all the time you were able to before your knees started to hurt and bruise due to the material of the rug.

And even then, you didn't want to stop.

The sound of their groans and moans were turning you on more than you would've thought, your available hand always rubbing against your clit as much as you could, driving you to the edge and tightening the now familiar knot on your lower abdomen.

"You have no idea how many times we fantasized about having you like this," Chan groaned, caressing your hair as he slammed his cock inside your mouth, "kneeling down in front of us with your mouth drooling and wanting to take our cocks completely". 

"She is so pretty," Changbin praised, biting his lower lip as he witnessed the scene of your teary eyes and ruined face alternating between his cock and Chan's, "I wonder how much prettier she will look with all of her holes filled".

A sudden moan escaped your lips as you heard those words. Of course you knew that having sex with more than one partner was a whole different world than what you were used to, but you never got to think about the implications of it.

"Is that what you want?" Chan questioned, his eyes fixed on the way Changbin's cock disappeared in your mouth, "do you want me to fuck your pussy while he fucks your ass?"

You would be lying if you said that the idea of doing so didn't turn you on.

"It is too soon to try anal," Changbin grunted, letting out a desperate sigh as soon as you withdrew from him to take Chan's cock, "she is not ready for it".

"You think so?" the brown-haired queried, burying himself inside your warm mouth, "I am sure she can take it".

Changbin gave him a worried look, but he wasn't going to deny the fact that he was dying to fuck you from behind. He knew how tight your cunt was from earlier, when he was fucking his fingers inside of you, and he could only imagine how much tighter your ass was.

Luckily for the both of you, he always kept a bottle of lube around for those kinds of rendezvous. 

Walking towards the small nightstand right next to his bed, he took out a black, small bottle that caught your whole attention as you awaited on your knees for him.

"I am going to ask you this once," he softly mumbled, caressing your hair and putting a strand of it behind your ear. "Do you really want to try this?"

You knew it was going to be painful but knowing it was them who were causing you pain only turned you even more.

"If you decide that you suddenly don't want it anymore, we will stop," Chan warned.

You stood up from the floor and walked towards the bed, removing your black t-shirt that was now ruined with drool, tears and even precum.

Chan laid down on his own bed with his hardened length inviting you to straddle over him, softly guiding your movements on the bed as he held your hand. You sat down on his lap and allowed him to continue with the task, one of his hands reaching down for the base of his cock to align it with your entrance.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked you with his jaw clenched, dragging the tip of his cock along your slit and earning a few sighs from the both of you. You simply nodded. "It's going to hurt, but I know you can take him".

You stared at Chan for what it felt like hours, and only regained consciousness of the place and position you were in once you felt the weight of the bed shifting as Changbin positioned himself right behind you, resting one of his hands on your hip while the other one held the bottle of lube.

"I think she is ready," Changbin announced and Chan lost no time in entering you, lifting his hips ever so slightly while burying the tip of his cock inside your tight cunt.

"Oh, Go-d," you breathed, leaning down on his figure while you placed both of your arms on each side of his head.

"Take me all the way in," Chan mumbled, pressing your figure down so that his cock could reach the deepest spots in you.

And even though you weren't a virgin, you had never felt such an overwhelming sentiment like this. He was bigger than what you were used to and he tried to do it delicately but awfully failed as he surrendered to his instincts, pounding himself inside you rather harshly for a beginner but just as pleasant. 

They both gave you a few minutes to get used to Chan's girth, squeezing it and clenching around it every time Changbin caressed your back and neck in an attempt to soothe you before the pain.

"She is so fucking tight around me," Chan hissed with gritted teeth, completely losing his mind over how wet and warm your pussy felt around him.

Just like he imagined it.

"How does it feel to have Chan stretching you open?" Changbin asks softly, placing a couple of wet pecks on your shoulders and neck while he lazily stroked himself with a fair amount of lube.

"It feels good," you admitted with shortness of breath, feeling dizzy on top of Chan. "I've never felt something like this before".

There was something so filthy about hearing you speak in such a manner that Changbin couldn't resist you anymore. You soon felt the palm of his hand on your lower back, pushing your body, forcing it to lean over Chan's and —once he caught the signal— wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly in place.

"Take a deep breath for me," Changbin ordered, getting even harder at the cold sensation of the lube as he poured more on him and your tightest hole. "We are going to count to three, yeah?"

Changbin always appeared to be someone tough but, it was at times like these, where you truly could appreciate such a soft side from him.

"One," he breathed and you felt Chan's arms tightening around you, his face buried on your neck and chest while he felt your body shuddering on top of his.

"Two," Changbin continued and your back unconsciously arched a bit more for him. "And three".

After the last number, you felt a numbing sensation throughout your body. Your toes curled up in pain and you tried hard to muffle the pathetic cries and whimpers but failed almost immediately.

"It hurts so much," you cried and Chan started to caress your back, feeling his heart pounding at a thousand miles per hour as he witnessed your vulnerable body on top of his.

"We know you can take us," Changbin hissed, softly pushing himself even deeper inside you. "All you have to do is get used to our cocks".

You whined and Chan hugged you even tighter, allowing you to cry over him as Changbin stretched your ass carefully. There was something so twisted about feeling your painful tears landing on his neck and chest that, for an unknown reason, riled him up even more.

"Don't move," Changbin ordered and you did as you were told, your hands gripping the bed sheets harshly while you tried your best to overcome the painful –but pleasant– feeling of having them both inside you. "I want to feel you".

Chan's hands traveled from your waist to your back, caressing it while trying to soothe the pain. You spent a good minute or two with your eyes closed, the only audible thing in the room were your cries and their heavy breathing.

"You think you are ready?" Chan asks you softly, leaving soft kisses on your breasts while still having his arms wrapped around your body.

"I think I am," you finally whispered after a few silent seconds, feeling your arms trembling in fear while still being able to hold your whole weight on top of Chan.

Changbin was the first one to move, slowly withdrawing himself from you only to thrust his cock again, making you cry in pain.

"You are doing such a good job," Chan praised, one of his hands reaching out to try the tears that were streaming down your cheeks. "It's just a little bit of pain, I am sure you can take it".

Changbin continued training you, softly pushing his cock inside you while trying to get you used to his girth. The pain never really went away, but the sudden sentiment of pleasure was quick to appear in the equation and, with that, it was ten times more bearable.

"Go on," Changbin hissed, trying his best to control himself. "She can take you now".

Chan lifted his hips slightly and almost came when he saw your grimaces of pleasure and pain, his cock throbbing at the sight of your furrowed eyebrows and teary eyes getting completely lost.

"Am I hurting you?" Chan asked you and you weakly shook your head, unable to focus on him —or anything, for that matter— because of the overwhelming sensations.

And as soon as they were sure you were alright, they started to acquire a pace of their own. They were going slow, much more slower than they would prefer, but it was still pleasant nonetheless.

Chan's lips captured your hardened nipples and, if anything, that single action made everything way more enjoyable. The cries and whines were soon replaced with moans and whimpers, and the gentle movements lost their softness once they both felt you were ready for a bit more.

"I don't think I am going to last long," Chan admitted between sighs, feeling his cock throbbing inside you.

Changbin was on the same page, but they both wanted to give you one more orgasm before their own. One of his hands traveled to your swollen clit and, while they both fucked your holes, he tried to mantain a steady pace while rubbing it.

"Oh my f- God," you moaned, both of your eyes opening like plates once you felt your body jolting at Changbin's touch. "It feels-".

You couldn't describe it, but they both knew what you meant by the way your holes clenched around them.

"You are dripping wet," Changbin whispered, coating his digits with your fluids while trying his best to get you to the promising orgasm. "You think you can come one more time for us?"

You didn't have time to reply when your eyes were already rolling at the back of your head and your arms started to tremble, threatening to lose any strength that was still left in them.

"God," you whispered again, parting your lips and looking like a complete mess for the both of them. "There, right there-".

Changbin increased his pace and it was only a matter of seconds before Chan started to feel your walls tightening around him almost aggressively. He closed his eyes and groaned under his breath, trying his best not to come just yet.

He wasn't wearing a condom and coming inside was definitely not an option —but God, how he wished it was.

"Just like that," Changbin praised while admiring your body shaking instinctively, his hips slamming against yours softly while you were still trying to overcome your high.

"You are making me lose my mind," Chan whispered as he saw your face, feeling completely vulnerable at the sight of your glossy eyes and parted lips. "It isn't fair to have you around and not be able to do this as much as I want".

Your arms lost all their strength and you inevitably fell on top of Chan's body, crying as you felt the overstimulation washing up on you.

"I'm not going to last long either," Changbin hissed and, with a swift movement, pulled out of you. You whined at the sentiment of emptiness, but it was also a relief.

Chan lifted your hips too and followed his best friend's actions, leaving you completely empty and a sobbing mess.

"Where do you want us?" Chan asked, caressing your cheek and pushing a strand of hair away from your face.

"Wherever you both want to," you replied with shortness of breath and feeling a bit dizzy.

Of course they both wanted to finish inside you, but it was definitely not a good idea.

At least not tonight.

So Chan looked at Changbin and he did the same, almost as if they didn't need words to communicate with each other.

"Get on your knees," Changbin ordered and Chan smiled, recalling one of those times where they talked about how pretty you were and how much each fantasized about coming on your face.

She would look even prettier, Chan had said.

You followed their instructions and kneeled in front of Chan's bed, patiently waiting for them to approach your figure.

They both stood in front of you, stroking their cocks with their gazes fixed on your face. Changbin's hand even gripped your hair a bit harshly, setting you closer to them and in place so they could finish on your face.

"Stick your tongue out, baby," Chan panted, increasing the movement of his wrist on his cock.

You soon felt his arousal landing on your cheek, tongue and chin while a series of curses and groans left his lips. Changbin, once he saw the filthy image of you covered in his friend's semen, came next. With him, it was way more messier: tongue, chin, lips, cheek and forehead.

You swallowed their cum proudly, feeling as if it was some sort of reward for being able to take all the things they had chosen to give you that night. And they both admired the scene in awe, feeling their softening cocks twitching at the sight.

"You both taste good," you murmured, still kneeling in front of them. "I never thought I would like it".

Chan caressed your hair softly while Changbin's digits lifted your chin just so they could both catch a better glimpse of your face covered in cum —one of their biggest fantasies.

"Perhaps we should play the game again," Changbin mumbled, collecting some of their semen with his thumb only to push it inside your parted lips. "And see if your bottle of soju is still full after we are done". 

[chaconnehoonie]

Welcome to Earth- Enhypen(Pilot)

⟿ Extraterrestrial! Enhypen x Fem! Reader

Synopsis- The idea of extraterrestrial life was never a deeply interesting topic to you. Of course, that was before you found a wrecked spaceship and seven inhuman beings.

Estimated WC: 20k-25k

Pilot WC: 812

Warnings: Aliens, cursings, angst, smut(hyung line), fluff, idiotic humor, mythology, [etc. will be added on]

Taglist-

@deobitifull @shinrjj @notevenheretbh1 @skzenhalove @jooniesbears-blog @kgneptun @minniejenseo @strxwbloody

Please comment or send an ask to be added to the taglist, and please have your age in your bio!! I will not be tagging minors or anyone without an age.

A/N: Although this is titled as the Pilot chapter, this will not be a series! The purpose of having this short Pilot chapter is for everyone to get a taste of what’s to come, and to test the waters with a less common genre. So, there will not be chapters, only the pilot and the full length fic.

The depictions of aliens and extraterrestrials in this writing are not meant to be “historically” accurate or follow society’s standard view, these characteristics are made to fit the storyline.

This is fiction and the scenarios are completely fake and from my brain, none of the characters are like this in real life, MDNI!

“Seriously- who’s idea was it to visit another galaxy just for some stupid party!?” Sunghoon stands up from the table he was sitting at, abruptly leaving the game he was playing with Sunoo and Jungwon. He stomps his way over to the spaceship’s control system, catching the attention of Jay who was taking a nap. “And why is Riki flying us? Who’s supposed to be controlling this ship!?”

The panic in Sunghoon’s voice rises, quickly attempting to shove Riki out of the seat but the younger just shoves him back. “Chill, Jake was steering but he needed a bathroom break so I took over.” Riki shrugs casually. Jay finds interest in the conversation and walks up next to Sunghoon, heavy yet squishy feet slapping the tiled floor underneath him.

“Chill? Chill?! Do not tell me to chill when we’re at risk of dying!” Sunghoon is yelling now, drawing their friends’ attention to the situation. Jay groans at Sunghoon’s volume ringing in his sleepy ears.

“What’s going on? Where’s Jake?” Heeseung hears the commotion and comes to rest a hand on Sunghoon’s slimy shoulder, speaking calmly to steady his friend. “Jake left to take a leak, and told Riki he could steer the ship. So unbelievable.” Sunghoon shakes his head in disapproval, mentally listing off the ways he’ll punish Jake in the future. “Maybe if I water his favorite plant with acid rain he’ll get the message.”

Heeseung attempts to relax his raging friend, forgetting about their younger one now steering the ship in the wrong direction. “Wait, Riki- do you even know where we’re going?” Heeseung looks towards the radar, noting how the small image of a ship was further than it should be. “Well…Jake didn’t tell me where to go, he just told me to keep steering.”

The eldest rubs a long finger against his temple, trying to remain calm unlike Sunghoon. Just in time, Jake comes strolling out of the bathroom with a sharp-toothed grin. “See! I knew he wouldn’t crash. You guys just have to trust me.” He sits in the passenger seat next to Riki, encouraging him to keep flying as he’s doing a great job at “keeping everyone alive.”

Before Jake was able to take over the steering, a loud shriek comes from Jay who was now pointing towards the radar. “Guys look! What is that?” All five boys focus on the electronic, watching the way the ship is now suddenly turning towards a massive unidentifiable object. “Not you Riki! You’re supposed to focus when you steer!” Jay turns the boy’s large head back towards the windshield, but it’s too late.

“Watch out! It’s an asteroid!” Sunghoon grabs the steering wheel above Riki’s hands, trying to take control of the whole ship, sighing as the flying vehicle becomes stable again. “Seriously guys, who lets a child have this much power?” Everyone lets out relieved laughs, although Sunghoon wasn’t cracking a joke.

Just as they thought they were safe, a loud crash is heard behind them followed by the screams of Sunoo and Jungwon. Everyone turns to see the two of them holding onto different pieces of furniture as a hole in the large broken window threatens to suck them out of the ship as smaller pieces of furniture fly out. “There’s more!” Jungwon shouts as him and Sunoo look out of the big broken window next to them, watching as the star-speckled sky fills with large flying meteors.

Jungwon grabs Sunoo’s arm, pulling him towards the front of the ship with everyone else to huddle for protection. “This is bad guys, there’s too many!” Sunghoon is cautiously dodging any meteors and debris while everyone else is balled up together, slimy cold skin pressed tight as they get ready to say their goodbyes forever.

“I never thought it would end this way.” Heeseung starts speaking, voice shaky as he tries not to worry the younger members. “I always thought Jake and Riki would accidentally light a mushroom forest on fire or something…not this.” He finally breaks down and everyone else follows, sobbing and gripping each other tighter.

Sunghoon doesn’t give up, continuing to steer even with multiple asteroids denting and destroying the ship. “I can try to land us somewhere.” His voice sounds frantic as he tries not to show his panic. Before he can find a clear planet to land on, a sudden asteroid is seen rapidly flying forward and into the windshield.

A fire erupts from the destroyed engine, any alarms enabled on the spaceship are now blaring and flashing red as the whole aircraft plummets down. “Hoon!” Sunoo cries out as he extents a hand to the older who is cowering away from the windshield and running over towards his friends.

“We’re going down! Prepare for impact!”

[vodika-vibes]

Did You Know? - A Request from @wax-birds

Summary: You've been the Batch's medic since well before the Jedi Purge happens, and it just made sense to stick with them when they defected. Recently, Tech's been going out of his way to tell you random facts, and at first you were confused, but you're starting to understand what his game is.

Pairing: TBB Tech x F!Reader

Word Count: 1618

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

A/N: I hope this is close to what you wanted. I made up the planet, but I think the bird is an actual thing in the Star Wars verse...I didn't actually do any research, lol.

“Did you know,” You lift your gaze from your datapad to look at Tech, who’s standing awkwardly in the door to your area of the marauder, “the Morai birds mate for life and should their mate pass they remain in the nest waiting for them to return.”

“I…was not aware of that.” You say, “I also didn’t know that you were interested in the mating practices of birds.”

“Ah, well,” He nervously rubs the back of his neck, “I am interested in a wide range of topics.”

Amusement lifts your lips into a smile, “And your fixation for the week is birds?” You tease very gently.

“They are very brightly colored.” Tech offers, “And are native to the planet we are about to visit.” He hesitates, “And I remembered that you have a Morai tattoo.”

“Aww, Tech.” You clasp your hands under your chin, “You’re sweet, learning things about my favorite animals simply because they’re my favorite.”

“I…well, not solely for you. Omega had questions-”

“I DID NOT!” Omega shouts from the next room.

Tech ignores her with the long practice of an older brother, “And then I remembered your tattoo-”

Omega appears next to him, her face is scrunched up, “Stop lying! You looked that stuff up specifically-mmph!” Tech slaps his hand over Omega’s mouth, stopping her from talking.

“Thank you, Omega.”

Your gaze flickers from the annoyed preteen, to Tech, and then back again. “Well then, if neither of you are injured, I need to get back to work.”

Omega pulls Tech’s hand away from her mouth, “Tech just hit me!”

“I did no such thing.”

“I have bruises!”

“You do not.”

“I want you to arrest him!” Omega declares dramatically as she points at her brother.

“I’m a medic, Meg, not a cop.” You reply with a small grin, “You want someone to punish him for hitting you, go to Hunter.”

“Maybe I will!” Omega says loudly, before she rounds on her heel, “Hunter!”

“Why would you tell her that?” Tech asks with a sigh.

You wink at him, “Well, if you get hurt, it means that you get one on one attention, doesn’t that sound fun?”

Tech averts his eyes, but a small smile lifts the corner of his lips, “I suppose it does not sound…awful.” He finally says as he catches your gaze, for a moment, just a moment, there’s something hot and needy in his gaze, before it’s quickly banked, and he turns away from you. “I will leave you to your work. We will be landing on Mora in three days.”

You know your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you. You know what you saw. And you are very, very interested.

And so you flash a small smile, even as a plan starts forming in your mind, “I’ll be ready.”

Tech glances at you one more time, and then slips out of your workspace just as Hunter shouts for him, and you muffle your laugh. Sometimes, a lot of times, the men you travel with are so obviously brothers that it’s hilarious.

In fact, you’re pretty sure you heard Echo and Wrecker arguing over Wrecker stealing some of Echo’s snacks only a little bit ago.

Still, you wouldn’t trade this job for any other medical career in the galaxy.

After all, where else would an incredibly handsome man flirt with you using bird facts?

Three days later, the Marauder lands on Mora, and you, with your medical kit slung over your shoulder, and your camera in hand, couldn’t be more excited.

“Alright,” Hunter says, getting everyone’s attention. “It looks like we have five different places we need to visit.”

“It’ll be faster if we split up,” You offer reasonably, “Using the buddy system, of course.” You add once you see the look on Hunter’s face. “And naturally, I won’t be paired off with Omega, since we’re both harmless.”

“I have a crossbow,” Omega reminds you with a pout.

“Ah, right. My mistake.”

“So that means you’re the only one here who’s harmless.” Echo teases as he bumps you with his shoulder.

“Yeah, well…before all else, do no harm, etc, etc-” You reply with a grin, as you bump him right back.

“Anyway,” Hunter interrupts, “Splitting up and using the buddy system isn’t a terrible idea. I’ll go with Omega. Tech-”

“I do not mind going with the doctor,” He interrupts, “As I understand, one of these locations has medical equipment she needs to inspect.”

Hunter looks at him, disbelievingly. 

“It’s not a bad idea,” You offer cheerfully, “If anything is broken, I might not notice right away.”

Hunter turns his disbelieving gaze on you next, and you just beam at him. 

“Fine. Tech and the Doc are going together. Which leaves Echo and Wrecker.” Hunter says, “Any complaints? Good. Omega, come on.”

You grin as the other groups walk off in different directions, and then you turn your gaze on Tech, who’s watching you with a small smile on his lips, “Shall we?” You ask.

“It should not take that long to get the equipment that we need.” He agrees, as he turns in the direction of the shop, and then waits for you to fall into step next to him. 

“It shouldn’t,” You agree, “The longest part will really be you making sure that the equipment looks like it’s in working order.” 

He glances at you, “You really would not be able to determine if the gear was in working order?”

“Of course I’d be able to tell. I just wanted to spend time with you.” You reply with an unrepentant grin.

“O-oh.”

You cheerfully take his hand in yours and you lace your fingers with his, “Anyway, once we have the stuff delivered to the ship, we can look around on our own. I need a new jacket.”

Tech is staring at your joined hands, as if he’s not sure what to make of it, and then he slowly squeezes your hand, and is rewarded with a blinding grin. The moment he realizes that it’s intentional, some of the nervous tension drains from him. “Is there something wrong with your jacket?”

“Well…no. Not really.” You shrug, “It just doesn’t match.”

“...What does it not match?”

You sigh, “You and your brothers. My leather jacket is white! It needs to be darker so I actually look like I belong.”

“You do belong.” Tech says, “You are the most important member of the squad.”

“We both know that’s not true.” You say with a laugh.

“It is true,” Tech insists, “We would be lost several times over without you.”

“Aww, you’re sweet.”

“I am honest.” Tech replies, “You have saved all of our lives on many occasions. We owe you everything.” He pauses, “And I prefer it when you wear white. It makes it easier to see you on the battlefield.”

“That’s not necessarily a good thing.” You point out as the pair of you come to a stop in front of the shop that’s holding the medical equipment that you need to look at.

Tech doesn’t reply right away as he enters the shop, “I think you look nice in white.” He finally says and then he turns his attention towards the shopkeeper and offers the name on the order.

Inspecting the machines takes a lot longer than you would prefer. A lot longer than Tech would prefer too, based on the look on his face, but there’s no way around it. Cid would have your heads if any of the machines were damaged in any way.

But finally, finally, you’re able to confirm the delivery, and you slump against Tech, exhausted. “This is the worst job ever.” You whine.

Tech glances at you, “Well, we are done now.”

“Until Cid gives us another job.” You grumble, and then you lay your cheek against his shoulder, “We used to fight for the good of the Republic, this work is demeaning.”

“But Cid does pay us,” Tech reminds you quietly, “Which is what we need.”

You hum thoughtfully, “Yeah, I guess.”

You take his hand again, and then tug him away from the shop. “Where are we going?” Tech asks, though he doesn’t seem to have any problems with trailing after you.

You just grin at him, and tug him down an alley. “I wanted to go somewhere private.” You reply once you’re not surrounded by people.

“For what purpose?” Tech asks.

“For this one.” You stand on your toes and brush your lips against his, before you pull away, “I don’t know if maybe I’m misreading things-” You murmur, though you’re not able to finish your sentence, as he tugs you against him and crashes his lips against yours. 

One of his hands slides up into your hair, while the other tightly grips your hips, pulling you as close as he can. And when he breaks the kiss, his lips hovering just over yours, you can’t help but grin, “I take it I wasn’t misreading then?” You ask.

“I do not think you ever have.” Tech admits.

“Go me,” Your smile is soft and warm, “Hey, Tech?”

“Hm?”

“Did you know that I think about you all the time?” He blinks at you, startled, “And that I would be really, really happy if you loved me as much as I love you?”

“And here I thought that I was being obvious.” Tech murmurs, before he kisses you again and again, “Of course I feel the same way. Or else I would not be kissing you.”

You grin and lightly kiss him again.

“Did you know,” Tech says quietly, “That I think about you all of the time too?”

At that a bubbly laugh falls from your lips, “I do now.”

[appraisedtiktoks]

Closed Captions:

This caption ended up being really long, so I apologize for the divider.

Taking place in a classroom, this video is from a show called Midnight Mass. Numerous parents are seated in small desks for children and the topic is about how some kids came home with bibles that were handed out. A conversation is cut off as this clip begins.

(What is missing from the clip: the Teacher begins, “I understand given your religious affiliation, you might find the fact that your son is interested in the Bible offensive-“)

“Not at all” the parent, played by Rahul Kohli, cuts off.

The teacher continues, “I suppose, but I would say that if he’s interested in Jesus, why not allow him to learn a little about it?”

He cuts her off once more, “That’s so not the issue and thank you for this opportunity to clarify, uh he knows all about Jesus.”

She cuts him off this time, “Imagine not quite all.”

He ignores her and continues, “Muslims believe that Jesus is a prophet of God and that the Angel, the Bible, was revealed to him as the Torah was revealed to Moses before that. See, we- we love Jesus and we love the message that was revealed to him.”

“Well, I suppose we learn something new everyday, don’t we?” the teacher announces, trying to stop the conversation there.

“But we also believe after the time of Jesus. Thanks to the interference of men, there are deviations of Christianity. People altered the message, Priests, Popes, Kings. That’s why there’s so so many versions of the Bible.”

“People got in there, made their changes-“ “I don’t think this is relevant.” The teacher cuts in again.

“We do though believe that the Bible contains some of the original word of God.”

“That’s very generous, isn’t it?” The teacher begins again to try and shut down the conversation.

He begins again, “But we also believe that God revealed the Quran as the final message. Never to be altered, to reasset the original revelations of the previous prophets.”

She curtly stops him, “I don’t think that this is the place to discuss where our beliefs about scripture might divert.”

Remaining calm, he reiterates, “Exactly.”

Pausing to look around for a moment before continuing, “There it is. That’s the issue. And that’s why I think some of the people in this room including myself are a little concerned. See Muslims encourage everyone to seek knowledge. So I am more than comfortable with my son studying a Bible. Thrilled actually. I’ve done it myself.”

After pausing to look around the room once more he continues, “But where I think there’s an issue is that this is a public school. That’s the thing. And I think what’s concerning some of us is not the Bible itself. But that it was handed out. Distributed to the kids here. I just ask you to consider how you’d feel if you sent your child to a public school-“

“Sure” the teacher sighs, shaking her head.

“And they came home with a copy of the Quran. Asking about the (Prophet Mohammad). You’d feel it was an issue. If I went around handing out copies of the Quran to the children on this island purely in the interest of the pursuit of knowledge. Well, I’d expect you to chase me out of town Miss King.”

And the video is cut off and ends there.

[garf-lover96]

oh my god i literally wrote this in like an hour while watching fleabag because i got an idea for something like this in the shower. it's a short Rowan x Julian fic but there's honestly so little information about the 1st person that it can be treated as an imagine. there could be mistakes because i wrote it in an hour. i had to get it out before i forgot about the concept so i didn't want to put it off for the morning. i'm going to sleep soon, this is a very goodnight fic :)

———

"Would you love me if I were a worm?"

The question makes me stir from my shallow sleep. I rub my eyes open to look up at still wide awake Julian.

"...Could you repeat that, please?"

I angle my head from my spot on the bed to see him better. Truthfully, I heard what he said but I think I just need a second to get my full consciousness back.

"I asked 'Would you love me if I were a worm?'"

I squint at him a little, trying to see his face more clearly in the dim candlelight. He has such a thoughtful expression while he speaks those bizarre words. I feel like I'm still dreaming.

"Did Portia tell you to ask that?"

"Huh? Of course not, why?"

"It just... Seems like something she'd come up with, I guess."

"Ah, no, I just overheard it somewhere. And I wanted your honest opinion."

He raises his eyebrows, trying to coax an answer out of me. I just stare at him for a moment longer before zoning back in and trying to think of an answer.

"Uhh... Let's just set the scene here, this is a lot to consider... So do you mean to ask me if I would've still fallen in love with you if you were born a worm or if I'd still love you if you happened to be turned into a worm in this moment?"

I'm actually proud of myself for making that sound comprehensible. Then I see Julian's eyes wander in thought.

"I suppose the latter would make more sense."

"Would it still be you in that little worm body? I mean, would you be aware that you were transformed into a worm?"

"Yes, let's go with that."

"...And how long would you remain as a worm anyway?"

"Sayyy... A week. A week of your lovely partner as a slimy little critter. Wriggling around and... Eating dirt. Consciously, of course."

Of course he plays along. I'd expect nothing less from him. I shift a little again, hugging a pillow to the side of my face.

"Let's see... I'd have to get some sort of comfortable enclosure for you so that your body doesn't dry out, I imagine. So you would probably have to sleep in there... Ah, but if I got something mobile enough I could just place it on your pillow so that you'd be close to me anyway. Hrm... How distressed do you think you'd be upon finding out you're a worm?"

I trailed off of the original topic a bit there, but he doesn't seem to mind.

"I'm not sure what spectrum of emotion a worm has... But the highest possible worm anxiety level seems accurate."

I nod thoughtfully. This is turning out to be a quite interesting late night improv session. It's probably worth being a little more tired than usual in the morning.

"Ohhh, then I could stroke a finger over your little slimy body so that you wouldn't be so miserable..."

"You'd touch me? You hate touching bugs."

"To be fair, worms are invertebrates. Anddd... I guess my distaste for insects could very well be overriden by my love for you."

Ah, he's melting now. I accidentally said something unbelievably romantic. It always seems to happen at the most unexpected times... I wrinkle my nose playfully at the kiss he presses to my lips.

"Did that answer your question?"

I don't know why I even asked that. He clearly looks positively lovestruck, his tired gray eyes looking at my face with reverence.

"I expected nothing less from you, my love."

I lean forward to place a small kiss on the bridge of his nose.

"I could also probably leave some coffee beans in your dirt. You know, for enrichment."

"You're so lovely and thoughtful..."

He buries his face in my shoulder and wraps his arms around my waist. That's when I finally close my eyes again. I rest better knowing that my ability to make him swoon doesn't disappear even when I'm half asleep.

[teaandsconeswrites]

Small Comforts - Zhongchili Oneshot - Touch-Starved Zhongli

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53352868

Rating: M

Main Tags: Fluff, Established Relationship, Touch-Starved Zhongli

Read below the cut or on the Ao3 link above! 🔽

Zhongli’s voice caresses Childe’s ear as he explains the subtle differences between Sumeran and Fontainian wines, but all Childe can focus on is Zhongli’s lips, damp and shiny from his last sip of the wine.

Their nights together always end this way, sitting next to each other in Zhongli’s front room, drinking and talking about everything and yet nothing until Childe excuses himself before he can be asked to leave.

Not that Zhongli ever has asked him to. But he’s never asked Childe to stay either.

“This particular variety is brewed in Fontaine. The fermentation process is undertaken by a local winery and the sealed bottles of wine are then stored in a cellar beneath the Opera Epiclese. It has a structured yet crisp quality that I personally find quite delectable.” Zhongli opens the next bottle, holding it out for Childe to sniff. “Would you like some?”

“Sure, thanks.” Childe takes the bottle, deciding to test his luck by briefly touching Zhongli’s forearm. “Ah, you’re truly spoiling me tonight!”

Zhongli tenses and pulls his arm back stiffly, but he smiles, his eyes locked onto Childe. “It is my pleasure. There is little more precious than sharing good wine and good conversation with valued company.” 

“You’re right there.” Childe pours a small amount into his glass, then raises it to his lips as he hands the bottle back to Zhongli.

No luck today either, then.

Childe is no expert on the topic, but when Zhongli had agreed on dating—or ‘courting’, as he put it—Childe had been pretty sure that was supposed to include some manner of physical contact between them.

However, despite the weeks spent dining together, walking together, and spending long evenings deep in conversation, there’s been not a hint of initiation from Zhongli’s side in that regard, despite Childe dropping every hint he can think of that he’s interested. 

It doesn’t make sense.

Staring at a spot on the wall across the room, he takes a long sip of his wine, letting it sit between his lips far longer than necessary, and he catches Zhongli watching him out of the corner of his eye.

This is weird. What kind of bizarre situationship has he gotten himself into?

“How do you find it?” asks Zhongli.

Childe swirls the wine around his mouth. It’s like drinking a fresh glass of water on a summer’s day (which is appropriate, considering what he’s heard of Fontaine’s Iudex). Crisp, as Zhongli phrased it.

Childe would have never thought to put it that way, but Zhongli is a true gentleman, a man who intimately knows these finer things in life, while Childe attempts to play a cheap mockery of one. Sure, there are things he likes more and things he likes less, but if it gets him through his next battle alive, that’s good enough for him.

“It’s good,” he says. “Really freshens up the palette! Where’d you get it from?”

“It was a gift from a Fontainian client I consulted for on behalf of the Wangshang Funeral Parlor. A Liyuen staff member who worked at their business passed unexpectedly without any family remaining, and they wished for some advice regarding the appropriate ceremony through which to honour their colleague. I found the request quite touching, and so extended my services beyond those they officially contracted me for, and the client was satisfied by the service delivered.”

Childe nods and downs the last of his wine. That’s Zhongli alright—ever the reliable gentleman to both friends and business partners alike.

“Might I refill that for you?” asks Zhongli before Childe can ask it himself, holding out the wine bottle in offering.

“Please.” Childe holds out his glass, and Zhongli pours the wine, keeping a close yet distinguishable distance between them.

Childe watches the sea of red rising in his cup, not a single splash or droplet moving out of place, as expected from the expert pouring technique of the refined, esteemed gentleman Zhongli.

But what if that is the problem between them? What if Zhongli’s gentlemanly ways dictate that he waits for Childe to make the first move? What if there is some unspoken Liyuen social rule that Childe is unaware of, and he’s the one who has been holding up the relationship?

That must be it. Zhongli just needs a bit of encouragement!

Childe sets down his wine glass. The numbing buzz of the alcohol dulls his inhibitions, and leans into Zhongli’s space with what he hopes is his most charming smile. “Zhongli.”

Zhongli wrinkles his nose a little, but smiles back nonetheless. “Yes, Childe?”

He’s smiling—good sign! One point in Childe’s favour!

Time for step two!

Sure, he’s not the most experienced in these things, but he’s seen enough theatre performances to get a general gist for setting the scene of Desirable Romantic Advances, so he cups his hand to Zhongli’s cheek and brings his face level with Zhongli’s. 

Oh gosh, his skin is so smooth—how? This man is over six thousand years old but with skin quality that any of Teyvat’s top actors would be jealous of.

Heck, he’s jealous now.

Zhongli’s eyes flicker between Childe’s face and Childe’s hand, a crease forming in his brow and his lips tightening.

Oh, now this is awkward. He kind of expected Zhongli to get the hint. No matter—focus. Think of something to say.

Childe clears his throat. “I must say I’ve been having a great time tonight.”

“Ah. Yes. As have I,” answers Zhongli rigidly.

A bit more enthusiasm would be nice, but it’s a start, and Zhongli admitted to having a good time. That means he’s clear for step three…right?

No, hesitation is weakness. Can gods smell weakness?

He’s not going to risk it.

Childe leans in, eyes half closed, bringing their lips within an inch of each other’s. Zhongli lets out a sharp exhale, creating chill pinpricks of electricity dancing across his damp lips.

Come on, Zhongli, lean in, get the hint here.

Zhongli does not get the hint. He stares at Childe, eyes wide open and as stiff as, well…a rock.

Childe sighs and backs off, his hand falling to his side. “You can say if you don’t want to kiss me, you know? You don’t have to sit there looking at me like that. I won’t do anything you don’t like.” He shrugs. “Guess I got the wrong idea, but a bit of rejection won’t upset me that easily.”

He is upset. Just a bit. Where does this go now? If Zhongli doesn’t want Childe near him, does he even want to carry on dating him at all?

“No,” says Zhongli, looking down at Childe’s hand and fiddling with the cuff of his shirt, “your perception was not incorrect.”

What? This makes no sense.

Childe pinches his nose. “Now you’re confusing me. If you didn’t want to, why look at me like I was about to eat you?”

“This situation is… It has been a while.” Zhongli continues to fiddle. “The things which we are experiencing together…there is a certain novelty to them that I appear ill-adjusted to.”

Ill-adjusted? Novel? Then Zhongli hasn’t…?

Oh.

“Wait, Zhongli, are you saying you haven’t been with anyone before? Ha, I guess that tracks—prim and proper Mister Zhongli, as celibate as a mountain!”

“I have.” Zhongli huffs, his shoulders rising in protest. “I am not completely ignorant to the ways of this world. Besides, there are many manners in which the earth itself might bend and capitulate in order to form new—”

“No, I don’t want to hear about how mountains—” Childe sighs and digs his knuckles against his temple. This is not how he’d expected this conversation to unfold. In fact he’d very much like to re-fold it and put it at the back of a very dark space. Preferably one where he doesn’t have to think about mountains doing that ever again. “Forget about it. So, how long since you last…?”

“Last copulated? Or are you asking how long since I last experienced romantic inclinations?”

Okay, good. So Zhongli does feel some romantic inclination toward him. Does he really have to call it copulating, though? Fucked, boned, slept with—any of those are far better than copulating.

Childe shrugs. “Either, really.”

“In that case, it must have been…” Zhongli counts across his fingers, then repeats the action before concluding, “Two, approximately.”

Childe scoffs. “Two years? That’s nothing! You know, it’s been longer than that for me too, come to think about it.”

“Ah, no. I must apologise for my lack of clarity—I was referring to millennia.”

“Millennia?” Childe resists reaching forward and shaking him. Two millennia without a quick make out or fuck to his name—the poor, deprived man! He almost, almost lets himself laugh, but Zhongli is pulling at his cuffs again and Childe is here to kiss Zhongli today, not upset him.

Eyes on the goal, eyes on the goal. No distractions, no hesitation.

(That’s what Skirk used to tell him, anyway, and that philosophy has done him well in life so far.)

“So, let me get this straight,” says Childe, flinging an arm over the back of the sofa. “You haven’t hooked up with or liked anyone for over two thousand years?”

“That is correct, more or less.”

“And what’s the ‘less’ part?”

Zhongli hums and shifts his gaze toward the window, but his eyes don’t quite focus, seeing something lost in a time that Childe can only imagine. Sliding his hand across the cushion, Childe brushes his fingertips against Zhongli’s and, meeting no resistance, threads them together. Zhongli responds with the barest squeeze.

This is the first time he’s touched Zhongli, aside from casual brushes against each other in passing.

Warm. Zhongli is warm. And soft. His fingers are slender yet solid, like the supple branches of the young, bare trees that used to tap his knuckles in greeting whenever he went adventuring through the forest just outside of Morepesok.

Zhongli looks at their intertwined hands and gives Childe a small smile, his eyes briefly closing. “My own sentiments mattered not,” he says. “For an Archon to enter into an intimate relationship, no matter how much they might consider that person a friend, a peer, one whom they respect above all, the reality and implications of their relative positions cannot be ignored.

“While Rex Lapis had long been the leader of his people, the seat of the Geo Archon was one of the seven bestowed upon this world by Celestia itself. Such an arrangement would ignite questions regarding potential biases compared to other peers, or opportunities for that inherent imbalance between them to be manipulated. In short, it was not a position that I wished to impose upon myself, or those around me. Thus, from the day on which the Geo Gnosis was transferred into my being, considering such emotions became unthinkable.”

Zhongli goes quiet, continuing to stare at their hands, and it hits Childe that perhaps this is the first hand Zhongli has held in all those years too. A weight tugs sharply down in his chest and he closes his hand tighter around Zhongli’s.

At least he gets to hug his siblings when he goes home. 

Zhongli however…

“Hey, give me your hand a moment,” says Childe and, not waiting for an answer, he pulls Zhongli’s hand into his lap, turning it palm up. 

“What do you intend?” asks Zhongli. He holds his hand straight as the blade of a sword, fingers glued together, but he leans forward, watching Childe’s movements, curiosity kindling in his eyes.

“I intend to show you what you’ve been missing out on.” Taking the stretch of skin between Zhongli’s thumb and index finger between his own finger and thumb, Childe rolls his thumb across the tense tissue in a gentle, massaging motion. “How’s this? It’s good, right?”

A soft gasp comes from Zhongli’s lips. “It is unfamiliar, yet not unpleasant,” he replies, his words followed by a suppressed groan as Childe thumbs into a particularly tight knot. “In fact, it is quite pleasant indeed.”

“See, me touching you isn’t so bad after all!”

“That is never what I meant to imply.” Zhongli pulls away slightly, but Childe holds him firm in his lap.

“I know, I know. I kinda get it too, I guess.”

“You do?” Zhongli looks up to meet Childe’s eyes. “I suppose that would be natural, given the nature of your own position.”

“Right. I fooled around a bit when I was younger, as you do, but after I was promoted… Well, when you’re about to stick your dick in someone and they call you ‘Lord Harbinger’ instead of your name, it’s a bit of a boner killer.”

Zhongli cracks a smile at that, a low chuckle in his throat. Then his amusement vanishes and he places his other hand atop Childe’s, almost needy in the way he touches him. “Yes, it is a peculiar feeling, to be seen as one’s title and not as oneself, is it not?”

Childe freezes.

Most people do see him as a title of sorts, don’t they? Lord Harbinger, Harbinger Tartaglia, Vanguard of the Tsaritsa. Even Childe is technically a title, although he considers it as much a name as Tartaglia nowadays, and Tartaglia is, as with the other Harbingers, as much a role as a name.

Zhongli’s gaze bores into him. Zhongli understands this too. Rex Lapis, Prime of Adepti, Geo Archon. Zhongli knows this too well, and he knows that Childe knows and Childe knows that—

A creeping unease crawls up the back of Childe’s neck.

Too seen. Far too seen.

He resumes massaging Zhongli’s hand, looking down at his work to break eye contact. “Yeah, sounds about right. Anyway, I never much felt like it after that. Had more important things to do by that point.”

“That is an experience which I am also able to find relatable.” Zhongli removes his free hand from Childe’s to take a long, thoughtful sip of his wine. “Perhaps it could be said that there is more commonality in our lives than first meets the eye.”

It’s weird to think that he and Zhongli could have much in common. Zhongli has lived for forever, leading a nation to prosperity, and creating a just and fair land. His name carries esteem and respect borne of reverence and loyalty. Meanwhile, Childe has spent his life falling into strange places, stabbing the biggest beasts he can find, and leaving a trail of general chaos in his wake.

But Zhongli thinks they are alike, and he doesn’t seem to find that a terrible concept.

If that’s true, his own unfortunate few years of celibacy are nothing compared to Zhongli’s self-imposed distancing, and while a bad guy like him might deserve it, his chest twists at the thought of Zhongli living through each of those long years, not alone, yet endlessly lonely.

He doesn’t need to kiss Zhongli anymore. What he does need is to be the one to show Zhongli everything he’s missed out on, to let him feel all the little things he’s spent so long deprived of.

Childe shrugs. “Heh, maybe you’re right. You know, I have an idea.”

“An idea?”

“Yep, and a pretty great one at that, I’ll say.”

“Oh?”

“Wait there.”

Childe releases Zhongli’s hand (which is met with a disgruntled twitch of Zhongli’s lips) and gets up. He makes his way down the hall, where shelves upon shelves of trinkets watch this rare intruder into their home.

At the end of the hallway is the door Childe guesses is the one leading to Zhongli’s bedroom. He opens the door to find out that A) He’s right, and B) Zhongli’s bedroom is one of the fanciest bedrooms he’s ever seen. (Which is saying something considering that one time he snuck into the Tsaritsa’s room on a dare when he was sixteen).

The bed is easily the width of two regular double beds, and the golden sheets shimmer, rippling like a pool of gold as he approaches.

Silk sheets? Damn, he’s putting those on his room’s request list next time he’s back at the palace.

Childe grabs the topmost blanket, wrapping it around his shoulders, as he does whenever Teucer asks him to play the role of ‘Super Mister Cyclops’, and pauses by the bookshelf to pick out a big, dusty book on Liyuen history that Zhongli probably likes.

Book in hand and blanket cape equipped, he returns to the living room, jumping into the doorway with a loud, “Behold!”

Zhongli tilts his head and brings his index finger to his chin. “That is an interesting choice of outfit.”

“It’s a blanket—for us.” Childe sweeps the blanket-cloak off and holds it up alongside the book. “And some light reading! I thought that as you’re new to all this, instead of going all in, you might prefer to try…”

Try what? Cuddling under a blanket and reading together? True, that is what he was going to suggest, but it sounds so sappy and weird that he can’t bring himself to say it.

“Something that’s a bit lower pressure,” Childe finishes. “So, what do you say? You trust me on this?”

Zhongli looks him up and down and—oh, archons—he really just asked Zhongli to trust him.

Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.

The entire history of the world seems to play out in Zhongli’s eyes, but just when Childe is starting to expect that Zhongli will brush him off with a gentle, “Another time, perhaps,” Zhongli nods and pats the spot on the sofa next to him.

“Then that I shall. I am curious as to what precisely you are proposing.”

Oh. Zhongli trusts him. In this, at least.

Nice.

Doing his best not to process how fuzzy his chest turns at that thought, Childe sits next to Zhongli, fans the blanket out across them, and hands the book to him.

“Thought you probably like this one.”

Zhongli takes it and turns it over, smoothing his palm across the cover. “Yes. Although I have not read this one yet, it is a topic which I enjoy reading from multiple perspectives. Then you wish for us to read it together?”

“You got it. I leave it in your hands, narrator.” Childe slips an arm around Zhongli, hand hovering above Zhongli’s shoulder, suddenly nervous.

It’s ridiculous, acting like a schoolboy taking a girl out to the local eatery for the first time. But Zhongli is no teenage crush. Zhongli is an immortal ex-Archon who hasn’t so much as kissed for millennia, and now it’s up to him to re-introduce Zhongli to the pleasures of intimate touch. He, a damn Fatui Harbinger of all people, being tasked with something so delicate, so significant in shaping how Zhongli might experience his remaining millennia on Teyvat.

It’s ludicrous, and on paper, he’s hardly someone up to the task, but he doesn’t consider himself adaptable for nothing, so taking a plunge of confidence, he lowers his hand to rest on Zhongli’s shoulder.

Zhongli stiffens.

Oh no. He’s messed this up. Zhongli is going to shrug him off and tell him that this was a bad idea after all.

However, Zhongli opens the book, takes a deep breath, and begins to read. “In the beginning, when Rex Lapis first watched over Liyue alongside his faithful adepti, he took on an appearance quite different to his later guise, wherein his visage was divided in twain. In this form, Rex Lapis bore—” Zhongli chokes suddenly “—two sets of eyes upon his twin heads, so that he might gaze upon all corners of his nation.”

Childe snorts. “Two heads? Really, Zhongli?”

Zhongli squints at the characters on the page, as though expecting them to shift to form a more reasonable sentence. “It would appear this book might contain…certain embellishments of the truth.”

Childe can’t resist playing along with the ludicrousy of it all. “You sure whoever wrote this didn’t just catch you showering in a waterfall one day? You know, two heads could also mean…” He wiggles his eyebrows at Zhongli.

Zhongli makes a strained choking sound in his throat. “I can assure you that my ‘Head Count’ is as one might reasonably expect.”

“And what might one ‘reasonably expect’?”

Zhongli’s face colours and he opens his mouth, but no words come out. It’s adorable, but today Childe is here to comfort Zhongli, not embarrass him, so he grins and pulls him closer, scooching over so they’re pressed against each other.

“Ah, your face! I’m joking, I’m joking. Aw, come on, enough with that look! You look like Teucer the last time he tried to show me how well he’d remembered all his letters, but he got stuck in the middle and Anthon started teasing him about it. He was so angry—he didn’t speak to Anthon for a week!”

Zhongli presses his lips together, his brow twitching. “So my behaviour reminds you of a petulant child, ready to revoke my desire to speak with you at a moment’s whim?”

“A little bit, yeah.” Childe shrugs, Zhongli blinks, and oh drat, has he pushed it too far?

However, after a short moment looking dumbfounded, Zhongli chuckles and shakes his head, looking back down at the page and smoothing it open. “Then I had better make more optimal decisions than such a child and not allow myself to squander such precious moments between us. Shall we continue?” He fixes his gaze on Childe, and Childe thinks he feels— No, he definitely feels Zhongli lean into him, just a little.

Progress!

“I await your performance.” Childe leans toward him. They’re so close they could kiss. He wants to kiss Zhongli so badly, on those perfectly formed lips of his, but today is for making sure Zhongli feels comfortable around him, and he knows how to pick his battles. There will be plenty of time for kisses another day, when Zhongli is ready.

Zhongli continues reading from where he left off and Childe resists the sordid temptation to comment on Zhongli’s (lack of) two heads, and other anatomical peculiarities the book depicts. After the initial weirdness, the narrative heads in a more typical direction, detailing how Rex Lapis led his people through a multitude of wars with minimal casualties, how he built his nation into a strong and prosperous civilisation, and how his people spoke his name with reverence and adoration.

As they near the end of the first chapter, Zhongli rests his weight snugly against Childe, and Childe takes his chance, squeezing Zhongli’s shoulder and speaking against his ear.

“If I knew Rex Lapis,” he says, “I’d make sure to worship him every day. He sounds like a great guy. I’m sure he’d deserve it.”

Zhongli sighs, then—in a beautiful miracle—rests his head on Childe’s shoulder. “There would be no need for such reverence, but I believe he would appreciate your sentiment, nonetheless.”

Childe freezes. Zhongli’s head is on his shoulder. Zhongli’s head, his shoulder—it’s real and it’s happening!

Calm. This is good. This is progress.

Zhongli turns the page, continuing onto the second chapter, and Childe takes his chance, letting his cheek rest against the top of Zhongli’s head. His hair is impossibly smooth and Childe is overtaken by curiosity, running his fingers through the silken strands that caress his skin, so pristine and orderly compared to his own chaotic curled locks.

He continues playing with Zhongli’s hair throughout the chapter, and at the end of the final sentence, Zhongli pauses.

“Childe?”

“Yeah? This okay?”

“This is more than okay.” Zhongli gives a small, satisfied huff. “This is wonderful. Thank you.”

Childe’s stomach wrings tight, like a washcloth being squeezed out, and a wave of a strange, tingling feeling floods through him from head to toe. 

Breathe. Remember to breathe.

“Of course,” he says. “I know what I’m doing, after all.”

“That you do. I am appreciative of your expertise; there is much yet in this world that lies beyond my experience. Your guidance is both treasured and appreciated more than you might realise.”

Childe forgets to breathe. His throat sticks and he inhales with a sharp cough. “Alright, alright, enough of the poetics. You’re making me… Hey look, there’s an early drawing of the exuvia there!” Childe points to the picture that they can both clearly see without his guidance, but thankfully Zhongli takes the hint and resumes reading from the spot Childe highlights, pressed tightly in the crook of Childe’s arm.

This time, instead of running his fingers through Zhongli’s hair, Childe massages his fingertips against Zhongli’s scalp in small circles, and Zhongli makes a deep sound low in his throat. Zhongli swallows, throat bobbing as his words falter, but he fights to continue reading for several pages more.

Eventually, even Zhongli’s resolve of stone crumbles and he folds the book closed on his lap, the noise rumbling through him. In turn, the sound vibrates through Childe in waves, and as he adjusts his position to allow Zhongli to snuggle closer, he catches a glimpse of Zhongli’s closed eyes. He looks so peaceful, and Childe continues the slow rhythm of gliding his fingertips against Zhongli’s head, listening to Zhongli breathe slowly against him.

Childe lets his cheek fall against Zhongli’s head and he closes his eyes, the low, rumbling noise continuing to emulate from Zhongli, lulling him deeper into a pleasant doziness, and as he leans against Zhongli he realises: this isn’t just any weird sound. Zhongli is purring. Zhongli is purring because of him.

How novel, that hands so used to twisting life, to breaking it, could be used like this, to bring such tender pleasure to one so unused to it.

The happy, fuzzy wave pulses through him again and he holds Zhongli to him a little tighter.

He could get used to this.

* * *

Warmth hits Childe’s face and he cracks open an eye to be met with a piercing stream of sunlight. He attempts to roll his shoulder, but it’s weighed down by something heavy and soft, and when he tries to move his arm, his fingers are numb, a tingling sensation in his fingertips.

Huh?

He lifts his head to find an ex-Archon peacefully sleeping on his shoulder, and the memory of the previous night seeps back into his thoughts—the failed kiss, the reveal that Zhongli hasn’t had anyone like this for millennia, the reading, the cuddling.

And now Zhongli is here, sleeping on his shoulder, mouth slightly parted, the fingers of his left hand knotted into the fabric of Childe’s shirt. 

Zhongli deserves this. Zhongli deserves everything good.

Although he can’t yet have the privilege of pressing his lips to Zhongli’s, Childe instead touches them to the top of Zhongli’s head, placing a secret kiss there, and takes Zhongli’s free hand in his own, relishing how Zhongli’s fingers close instinctively around his.

Zhongli has missed out on too much, for too long, and he’ll be damned if he doesn��t make up for it now. For the rest of his years, he’ll make sure Zhongli knows what it means to have someone by his side, ready to swaddle him in a blanket of the affection he deserves. Kisses, hugs, hands held—Zhongli will have it all.

And maybe, just maybe, those things will provide some small comfort to Childe, too.

[tyrantisterror]

How did you manage to build such a following? I’m considering trying to start a blog because I physically can’t have a more traditional job but I’m completely lost on how to do it.

I'm not sure if I'm a good person to answer this question - both because I don't really think I have much of a following in the grand scheme of things, and because I didn't really try to cultivate it all that much.

Like, ok, numbers wise, my follower count is a bit over 3000, which is a bit impressive, I suppose, but it's not enough to build, like, a side hustle or anything. Of those followers, I'd guess at least 2000 are people who saw one of my handful of Cursed Undying Posts That Will Never Rest Until I am Dead, and followed me purely because that one post was funny or whatever, and then realized I don't post like that often and kinda forgot I exist. Of the remaining 1000, I think it's mostly people who followed me for, like, fandom reasons, with maybe a couple dozen or so people who actively look for my content specifically, rather than using me as an aggregate for kaiju content or what have you.

If that sounds like a complaint, it is not. I like the size of my audience, I like the relatively small number of my genuinely interested followers, I like exactly this much (or, honestly, slightly less) attention. I like being able to know the people who've actually read my silly books by username and how they sometimes even tell me what they think about them. I like it when those good mutuals and not-mutuals-but-still-beloved followers show up in my notes over and over again. It's a small following, and it's nice. I like it that way.

Whenever my follower count goes up, my immediate reaction is fear, because while generally it means some people have just added me to their dashboard's influx of nonsense and will forget my name in a week, and rarely it means someone cool has begun following me and I'll eventually come to recognize their username with affection, every now and then - every rare yet horrifying now and then - it's someone who's a bit deranged, someone who's made me their fixation. I've already got a couple of social media stalkers (or one very dedicated one with multiple accounts, not sure which) and, uh, it's not great!

So, like, whatever following you think I have, it's 1. not something I tried to create on purpose and 2. probably not that impressive, numbers-wise. I feel like it's basically what anyone could get if they post their nonsense like I have for a couple of decades under more or less the same username. Whatever success I have as a blogger I attribute to a mix of being old and getting really verbose about niche topics I care about and have rarely seen others discuss in my particularly deranged way.

So... be authentically weird the only way you can be, and do it for a couple of decades online, I guess?

[lorei-writes]

Recently I've been feeling things that refused to be put into words. I don't think I can do that now, to be honest. Anything that comes to my mind is both too big and too small all at once. But then there's only trial and error. So let's try.

The topic: this place.

Now, this isn't any announcement. It's nothing particularly dramatic either. My assumption is that this will not be of interest to anybody. I suppose the only reason why I write this is that... I have always done that and, on the off-chance of there being one person who would be curious to listen, it is only fair. Perhaps it is just my hoping that there is such a person. I don't know. I don't think I can know now.

For starters, it is very hard to describe precisely what I experience without hiding behind words. Without telling things as I wish they could be told -- but then, then that would be false.

One of the recent feelings was that this place is, well, somewhere between states. That it used to be one thing, that things changed, and that now the overarching assumption is that I am going somewhere else and abandoning what was.

*sigh* And that's the part that I don't understand. Things have always been changing... And I'm conflicted, because I'm trying to find a way to navigate it all.

For one thing, it is wonderful to feel a surge of joy. I'm so happy to have found a new little interest to pursue. I'm happy to be able to take things, to create with them, to explore new possibilities... But at the same time, it doesn't mean that I'm moving away from the quiet familiar joys I once had. Surely, the ratio of them may change... But it isn't my intention to step away from them. If anything, I want to find a way to have both the old and the new. I don't want to choose when I don't even see it as a choice.

But, I don't know how to accomplish that. I don't know what sets of rules to impose and I presume simplifying them will be an ordeal in and of itself... And what is worse, I expect that the more things I like, the harder this will get.

This ties with another feeling I have. It... Well. There was a time I thought I'd be happy if I had more -- more recognition, more appreciation, more friends. Now I realise I'm at the receiving end of overwhelming amounts of kindness. I think I get more than my far share of appreciation, and I'm fairly certain most people I know in real life have not been given nearly as much. I'm beyond grateful, but here... Here again is where I lose my balance.

I write plenty. I do art. I make edits. I crack jokes. I ramble about meta. All are the means of sharing joy to me. The happier I am, the more passionate I am, the more of those I do. I know I can go on, and on, and on, and that I may be rather tireless at times.

I wouldn't call myself a popular writer. I don't think most people would realise if I disappeared one day... And in a way, I am thankful for that. Because, due to the sheer volume of my joy, I am swept away and overwhelmed by your kindness.

The key word is overwhelmed.

But how could I not want it? How could I not appreciate it? I love hearing from you guys. I love it when we talk. I love it when we are silly together, when we throw headcanons around, when we theorise or build each other up. It's precious. It's great. I don't want you to stop. I wish I could talk with more of you... But it also is so, so, so much. I don't want to grow indifferent to any of that, even if my -- or well, the human -- brain was not meant to handle such amounts of gratification.

But how do I balance it? What do I change to stay true to myself?

I need to figure that out. I want to believe that there is some sweet spot where I can share my joy while also remaining as I am... But I may need some time. Truth be told, getting more than 50 interactions per day is plenty, and the last month we never dropped below that. Not once.

*sigh, again* A part of me misses the time when there was just a couple of people here, partially because nothing felt as serious then. I love it when I'm talked to like just to any other person. I dislike any artificial distance being put in place -- and this is why we don't celebrate follower milestones. I appreciate you. I just noticed that the last time we did celebrate... assumptions were made. Lenses of superficial metrics be damned.

But, again, as much as I'm overwhelmed with kindness I receive, I do not want for any person to go. I do not want to be left alone. I do not want to push people away, even if it is just one me and plenty others.

There must be some way... And it is so terribly greedy of me, but I want to find it. I want to crack this puzzle... Even if nobody was to care about it ever being a puzzle in my head.

[carbo-ships]

Etere: Chapter I

Oh, gosh, no, I'm doing this. Okay. This is, yeah, it's Aether, like I said I wouldn't do, even a little bit. Yes it says Chapter I, yes there's more, don't look at me.

Content warning for canon-typical misuse of Catholicism. I am not Catholic. This is all wrong. I've made it so much worse. I'm sorry. There's also like, some really, really poorly translated Italian. I also do not speak Italian. This is a mess. Look upon my shame with caution.

The story of Job had been the inspiration — take one of the Lord's best and test them. There was precedent for a devout human to stand his ground against the forces of evil. But an angel resisting the temptation of demons? That would be interesting.

It need not be a particularly high-ranking angel. In fact, it was better it wasn't. Any angel would do. Hell, however, would not be a suitable location. The Principalities refused to let one of their own set foot in such a place. Earth was the only solution. But Earth was a very big place.

They supposed they should consider which demon, or demons, might be suitable challengers. It ought to be ones familiar with Earth — waiting for the demons to get accustomed to the terrain would only needlessly draw out the experiment. The problem was that most demons who physically inhabited the world of the living weren't particularly organized. Most recklessly haunted old buildings or wreaked havoc through possessions, and were regularly overcome by mere humans. Although far from average, it became clear that the only demons built for the task were those serving under Papa Emeritus IV. Those seven ghouls were the only ones reliable enough to be trusted with such an assignment. Each side liked their odds. The church was contacted, details were discussed, and an agreement was made.

The topic of which angel should be tested resurfaced. It shouldn't be a man — they'd done that last time. Besides, the archangels were eager to try again after the Eve incident. It was the 21st century, after all, and women ought to have another go at it. For simplicity, she should be an angel who had also spent a considerable amount of time on Earth. This, again, significantly narrowed down the subject pool. After much consideration, an angel named Ardis was selected. She was, by all accounts, perfectly average.

Ardis was summoned to the ghouls' cathedral three days before the two-month experiment was to start. Her higher-ups had accompanied her to ensure the location and their opponents were acceptable. Papa Emeritus IV, who quickly insisted upon just being called “Papa”, and the seven ghouls who worked in the church were in attendance. Ardis had never seen such spirits before. They were dressed in all black and each sported a silver, horned mask with small cut-outs for the eyes and mouth. She tried not to stare at their long tails, but her eyes kept flickering to them as Papa and her superiors discussed the details. She did her best to focus on their faces for the sake of being polite and discovered she would likely have trouble telling them apart. She could differentiate between the two women easily enough – one was slimmer and taller than the other. But as for the five men? Three of them looked identical. Heaven help her. Thankfully, one of them had the courtesy to be much taller than everyone else, and another was clearly rather muscular, even through all the layers of black fabric. She could feel herself staring. His eyes were hidden behind the shadows cast by his mask, so she couldn’t tell if she’d been caught admiring his broad shoulders. It was best not to test her luck and focus her gaze solely on the strange man in the face paint for the time being.

It soon seemed that both sides were in agreement. Two months of temptation. The angels won if Ardis remained devout to her faith. The demons won if anything else happened. Tiebreaker of the ages. No pressure.

On the decided date, Ardis stood before the outer wall of the… monastery? Cathedral? She realized she wasn’t sure what they called this building. She was alone, carrying only a small suitcase full of her few belongings. Steeling her nerves, she knocked on the large door. She fidgeted with her hair while she waited. A moment later, the door opened to reveal the broad-shouldered ghoul she’d met a few days prior. “Ardis, was it?” he asked. She realized this was the first time she’d heard him speak. His voice was deeper than she expected, and she couldn’t quite place his accent.

“Yes, sir,” she said, nodding slightly.

The cut-out on his mask was just big enough to reveal a tiny smirk. “Welcome. Right this way.” He opened the door further and ushered her inside. She thanked him and stepped into the familiar garden. The grounds surrounding her new home were admittedly beautiful. Although the statues peppered throughout the large garden were a bit grotesque and unsettling, the space was very well maintained. She admired her surroundings as she followed him towards the building. There was a thick evergreen forest just beyond the opposite stone wall. Perhaps it was just an effect of the soon-to-be-setting sun, but something about that dense wood made her uneasy. Aether must have caught her gaze lingering past the wall and interrupted her thoughts with, “I would stay out of that forest if I were you. There is nothing for you in there. And do try to stay within the grounds after nightfall.”

She hummed in acknowledgement. Some questions were better left unanswered. She was perfectly happy not knowing what lurked in the dark. She turned her attention to the building before her. It too was made of stone and featured many colorful stained-glass windows. She couldn’t quite make out the designs from the angle she was at, and made a mental note to examine them later as the ghoul pushed open the front door.

The man in the face paint—Papa, she remembered—was chatting with the remaining ghouls in the foyer when she entered the building. Lanterns lined the marble walls, casting shimmering lights up to the tall, arched ceilings. She felt a shiver run up her spine when her guide shut the door shut behind her, the sound of it echoing through the hall. This was it. Her two months had officially begun.

Papa stopped and turned around to greet them. “Allora, there she is. Ardis, yes?”

“Yes, sir,” Ardis said with a polite nod as the group all gathered around. The ghoul she’d been following joined his peers.

“Wonderful, wonderful, yes, welcome,” Papa said, clapping his gloved hands together. He was dressed in his papal gown this time—it was Sunday, after all. The ghouls were whispering amongst themselves. Some seemed curious, while others clearly already had mischievous thoughts running through their heads. A few tails twitched excitedly. “I am glad you have made it here safely. You are just in time for the liturgy. As I am sure you can imagine, we are very excited to have you, little one.”

Ardis was very quickly starting to feel like prey, but did her best to put on a brave face. She’d never had a negative interaction with them during their brief encounters, but they were on opposite sides of an eternal battle. They all knew why she was there, but only her hosts knew what was in store for her.

"Our angel will be staying with, ehm, what did we decide... Ah, yes, Aether should be a fine match, sì?" The strange pope indicated toward the group of ghouls and the man who let her in flashed a playful toothy grin. She’d never noticed his fangs before and paled slightly. "Yes, you will bunk with Aether during your time with us.”

She simply nodded, trying to hide her surprise that she'd be sharing a room with one of the ghouls — and one of the male ones, at that. Although she supposed he seemed like one of the calmest of the bunch, so it certainly could have been worse. Some of the shorter ghouls seemed particularly rambunctious in a way that made her rather nervous.

“Oh, I suppose introductions are in order, yes?” Papa turned the floor over to the masked ghouls so each could introduce themself. First, there was Aether, whom Ardis had just met. Then was a man named Sodo, who seemed to be the shortest of the men. That was the one who made her a bit nervous for reasons she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Next was a ghoul named Rain, whom she was certain she would mix up with Sodo constantly. Mountain, conveniently, was clearly the tallest of the bunch. That one was easy. Swiss seemed equally as rambunctious as Sodo, but wasn’t quite as petite. Then Cirrus was the taller of the two women, and Cumulus was the shorter of the pair. Goodness, this was going to be tricky, especially between Sodo, Rain, and Swiss.

“It’s nice to meet you all. I apologize if it takes me a while to get your names right,” Ardis said timidly.

“Oh, it’s alright, dear,” Cirrus—was that Cirrus? Yes, definitely Cirrus—said with a warm laugh. “We know it can be hard with the masks.”

Ardis gave her a grateful smile. She knew they were likely just trying to lower her defences by making her feel comfortable, but… Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad.

"Mass will begin soon,” Papa continued, “then it is time for dinner, and then the rest of the evening is yours to spend how you wish. We can give you a proper tour in the morning. Aether, take her bag to your room for her, will you? We will meet you in the sanctuary.”

Next: Chapter II

[ravusnightblossom]

@origami-assassin (Moved to new post because legacy/beta: X)

“If you trust him--” she offers, taking in a deep breath, and exhaling the rest as she spoke, “Then I will too.”  Trust was something she could afford those who he felt were worthy of it.  After all, the Prince had endured the same hardships with losing him family.. his home..  Shared experience was certainly a boon in these circumstances. She gave in just a bit to rest against him as they began their walk.  “The gardens?”  Questioned the assassin.  Eyebrows risen slightly with growing interest.  She was about to ask something, but stopped herself with a look of light embarrassment.  “I suppose you’re not much for high places, are you?”  She questioned in a quiet tone, “The sort that require one to be efficient at free climbing.”  Eyes drop briefly with her hand absently gripping at the fabric of her jacket, “I was going to ask about trees we might climb to see the stars better.”

Shaking her head, she focuses forward towards the direction they’re heading, “We are so different, and yet so alike, Ravus..  I sometimes wonder what my Mother would have thought of you.. had she still been alive..”  A touch of longing reached her eyes as they continued to walk, “She probably would have thought I was pulling one over on her.  Or I’d gone mad with my time under the Empire’s rule.  I think the whole of my kin would have had a heart attack had I shown up with you.” There’s that smile again.  The warmth in her cheeks and the quiet sadness in her gaze spoke softly to how desperately she missed them.  Knowing she’ll never see them again, she clings instead to what she has here and now.  For as long as the two remain together, nothing will ever be able to hurt her again.  No matter the pain, or punishment.. She had him.. That’s all that mattered. “I think she’d be quite fond of you.  Not for your status, of course.. We never cared for such things.  But because of who you are... beneath that grumpy exterior--”  A soft laugh followed at the teasing words, pulling away a bit in anticipation of playful retaliation.

⋞⁘♔⁘⋟ Trees...? Ravus grimaced at the idea and reflexively looked upwards at the treetops that surrounded them. He had climbed those trees in his youth, but that had been a different time, a different body, a different mentality. Tree-climbing had been a recreation. He had also been about a third of his current size the last time he had.

"I have no qualms to heights," he explained. After as long as they had spent on Zegnautus Keep, he had grown desensitized to any fear of high places, not that there had been much of it to begin with. Fenestala Manor was littered with cliffs and canyons. They were part of what had once been the norm, for him.

"Unfortunately, I suspect I have far less grace when it comes to climbing trees." A brow arched as he glanced with mild amusement to Jezebel. "In case you have not noticed, I am... not a light man." His nose scrunched, as though that were some embarrassing admission. "I prefer to remain surefooted on the ground when possible."

Oh, he could jump though. Years of mastery, channeling the magic that coursed through him, he could use that to hurtle himself like a missile in combat. That was different, though.

When the topic shifted to her mother, Ravus eyed Jezebel with surprise. As long as he could remember, he had no recollection of her telling him of her family. Was... this a monumental event to her? Was she opening up to him in a way that he had never seen before? He knew as well as anyone that she seldom let down her guard on such things.

"Oh?" He questioned softly, a palm moving to rest on the small of her back while he lead them both toward the car, opening the door for her. "I feel I would have quite liked to meet her as well," Ravus said, a tender smile offered to her.

[hetagrammy]

i'm grateful that you listened to the feedback about the problems with that nyo!england fic. the racism in it, especially after the fic moved into the victorian era, and became a very white feminist understanding of the british empire, also bothered me a lot as a woc. one example is how OP described Maia/NZ as a 'little monkey' in chapter 13 (here: archive(dot)ph/pwuuv#selection-18037.204-18037.239) and depicts her as small and bizarrely childlike, even though OP herself said Maia is supposed to be a 20 y/o college-educated Māori woman by then. there was no warning for racism in that chapter unlike how she warned for anti-irish stereotypes in another one, and Maia's weirdly childlike demeanor remains in those scenes not from Evelyn's biased perspective, so it came off as unexamined racism against indigenous people that OP doesn't even think or realize is a problem. she's actually received feedback from poc about problems in her fic already so...idk what to make of the fact that she still hasn't fixed that. i just know i'm not comfortable.

additionally, the fact that she clearly took the concept of Maia from other people in fandom who did a lot of work and research to flesh out a complex female Māori NZ, infantilizing and simplifying NZ and calling her a monkey felt even more disrespectful. i think it's fine to be inspired by other people in fandom (i've seen your own fun take on regency NZ), but not like that.

Response under the cut, apologies for the length

I want to go ahead and say, while I appreciate being notified about this, I don't want my blog to become a forum for dogpiling on the author or making accusations. The critiques presented here are very valid, I just don't want to cause any more trouble than me making that fic recommendation already did.

That being said, the only chapters I had read from that fic were ones that happened to come across my dashboard, and they were centered around Cromwell and the English Civil War, which is an interesting period to me. Knowing these details about later events in the fic now, I can definitely see how that would cause a lot of discomfort. The "monkey" metaphor makes me very uncomfortable, because it is a very loaded term. Though I doubt the author's intention was to offend, it's definitely a term to avoid when writing a non-white character. It's a poor word choice, and it is an odd character choice considering most interpretations I see of Zee tend to have her as very independent and self-assured. Granted, it's not my place to tell people how to do their own characterization, but in this case it is a characterization that sticks out and can carry some unsavory connotations.

I've adhered to the interpretation of Zee as a biracial woman, mostly because from what little I know of New Zealand's history, the Treaty of Waitangi gave the Maori a little more influence and leeway to negotiate with the British crown. That is obviously not to say they were treated well, the treaty was breached numerous times and they were still subjected to heavy discrimination. However, I think that the Maori's position throughout New Zealand's history makes it fitting that its personification would share that heritage. That being said, I don't know nearly enough about the history of New Zealand to meaningfully write a piece examining Zee's relationship with colonialism. There's plenty of people in this fanbase who could do that miles better than I could any day anyway. In my Regency AU I'm still unsure of how much I would examine that, especially because she is a young child in that. It's a complex topic, and definitely not one to half-ass when writing out.

Long story short, writing historical content with any of these characters is something that should be handled with care, but I think that is especially true when it comes to non-white characters.

[helloneighborfan]

PS: Probably the largest chapter I have ever written 🥹 and i'm proud of It. Enjoy!

Chapter 12: Periodistic sense

"The juiciest news will come in stormy times." It's what Norman hears whenever he feels "useless." He always wanted to be the author of the most important news that happened in the town, regardless of the topic he would touch on. As he gazed at his small workspace, he wrote down everything he did every day and what he saw, which was basically the same but with little drastic changes. As he was scoring he said:

- I think I should eat at least one bread and coffee to have energy- which is literally what I eat for breakfast weekly.

- And that's why there are the best biscuits and coffee in "The homemade touch"

Norman slowly turned his head so that she felt a slight discomfort in his chest and screamed.

-Gah! It scared me, sir.-

It was none other than Gordon leaning out of his office, letting out a humorous laugh in which he forced Norman to laugh uncomfortably. Breaking free from where he was, she walked in and stood next to him, causing him to make slight nervous movements to his head and get sweaty on his hands. He was nervous about what he would tell him, but something in his eyes warned him that this was not the case, something more intriguing than anything.

-Come with me, will you? We have to discuss a pending topic on my list. Norman stands up from the wooden chair and they walk towards his office. He thought his prayers "were" coming true or probably not, but he trusts that whatever it is, he'll face it and find a way out of that gloomy hole. -The guest is always the one who is tested-. He didn't understand what he meant but he theorized it was a saying so he didn't say anything.

-My office is comfortable and cozy, isn't it?

"I suppose, sir, ahem... I mean, yes, it's a comfortable place."

They sat down and Gordon started talking to her about some off-topic, like why do you eat brownies and coffee Monday through Friday? or he spoke shameful blasphemies about him, making him ashamed of his habits. When suddenly he started to talk about skills. "Only few are born with skills and know how to execute them perfectly."

"Do you see potential here?" Norman asked.

-Indeed, you have an ability buried there among all that cloudy head and that is why from now on you will be an investigative journalist. Now,you will go to the places that I indicate you to be able to obtain information, interviews, etc. . . -.

Gordon seemed to say it without emotion, but he made it sound interesting. He could detect it in this moment, on his face expresiones, but he was hard to know what was he trying to express.

-you'll continue writing articles and news, but the ones that do matter-.

-This opportunity is great, thank you sir, I will not disappoint you.-

So be it, Darby. You do not want that it goes back to sleep you in daily news or if? -. No. -Well, be a good boy for now .

-Before you go, I will tell you the first details of your new job class: you will be with the others when there is a special or rare occasion, such as the Tavishes, the mayor, some strange incident or other similar things. You will also be able to collaborate with others to get a "news special" and lastly, you will be involved in a news series entitled: "Raven Brooks Oddities".

- And what is this last one about?-. Gordon remained silent and trying not to feel irritated to talk about this ambitious project again, for which he told him that he would discover it when he already had the exact control of his "hidden ability". So he asked her to go to the first location he indicated: the university.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While Norman went where he had been told, he would never know that it was the start of one of the jobs that would mark his life; Nerves invaded him at that precise moment, so he wouldn't stop drinking his hot coffee. "It's time, Norman."

He entered the building and went to the office to attend to the matter that he had to do, so he headed there. "Is that series of news related to meteorologists?" he thought he. He went into the office and called if there was anyone but no one answered so he turned around and almost fell due to colliding with someone, no, there were two people. One appeared to be the secretary and director.

-Who do we have here this time? hmhmmm- mentioned the director.

-I come from the Raven Brooks Banner and I am-

"There's no need for introductions, Darby, right?" Yes.

"Okay, now that you're here, let me take you where they asked me to take you."

In the blink of an eye he was already in the classroom that he had been told. There were many books, cups of coffee and a great speech was heard from there. -I suppose you already know your job, right?-

"No," he nervously answers. Apparently the director had not heard it and in the distance she was heard saying good luck!

-I like this rustic style of the university, maybe this is the most pleasant thing you can have all day, even as a place to work-. Norman jokes. He began to enter the room and sees around him almost a pile of books and leaves that make Norman surprised. The more he walked in the room, the conversation became clearer to the point of hearing the following:

"See, that boy has the same emerald eyes as you! I'm glad he was delivered safely from the hospital and that he continues to grow as he should, but is another one on the way?" A female voice silently nods. "She will be called Lisa Peterson." Lisa, a female name that fits like a glove. Norman argued mentally.

"The name is not bad at all." It's all the male voice had said. "I've been thinking about Theodore every day and I imagine that he will be, someone in this life, you know?"

While the conversation continued in the stern, Norman began to analyze each sheet and note that he found. Some mentioned about the <<strange events>> that only happened inside the town, like a storm that makes the crows go crazy and certain days it only rains. “No wonder why I had a mega leak on the roof of the house and I didn't sleep for the next three days.”

Norman's thoughts were interrupted when the two voices went towards him, looking at him as if they wanted to ask him endless questions. -I'm Norman Darby, reporter for the Banner! I swear I didn't want to interrupt your conversation! -. He spent a long silence in the room until he noticed that they both seemed to have a very good vibe.

-Hello, banner journalist-. He slowly raises his hand in greeting. - I'm Roger Peterson and this is my wife, Adelle Peterson.

"Nice to meet you, Norman." I guess you came for information. That's how it is. After Norman's unexpected welcome, he went on to ask them questions about their lives, why they consider Ravens Brooks a unique town, and to chat a bit about the debate that ocurred two days ago; They commented that there was nothing to fear about their reputation, what mattered was that the name of the town resonated with the people, but when they heard of a sect, they assumed that they were pulling the strings from the shadows without being discovered, some people would call them “forest protectors”.

As the 'interview' developed, Norman began to feel comfortable with them, so he decided to talk further with them about what they could achieve with the great opportunity that the three of them had been given.

Norman had left the place satisfied with nothing to worry about at all from the Banner because he had obtained enough data and said: What a day!

[jedijourneys]

Kallia’s Journal; Entry Twenty-One

“A Guardian always knows the risks, be it of life or limb, or something else, but I suppose through sheer force of will, or perhaps a unyieldingly stubborn nature, we persistently step into the path of blaster fire anyways. That is inevitably how I found myself getting sniped at point blank range on some speeding train in the middle of the wilderness. Rifles are fatal enough at a distance, but as close as I was, I suppose it’s only through luck that I survived such an engagement.” The Jedi pauses, thoughtful for a moment as she meditates upon her bed.

“If not for that apprentice healer, Lev, I’d have certainly passed into the force that day. Initially, my first thought was to get Lev out of the middle of that firefight as soon as possible, but the battle ended quickly after that. I could not continue the mission. I was evacuated to a medical facility for emergency treatment, and remained in kolto for quite a few days afterward.” She folds her hands atop her knees, eyes closed as she recalls the memory. She has long since made peace with it, and the thought of just how close she had come to death was hardly a concern at all. She had survived, and so there was no sense in dwelling on other outcomes.

“I passed my trials.” A simply spoken statement, a fact uttered into the dimly lit air. “And I am a padawan no longer. I kneeled before the council and was proclaimed a Knight, at last. But, as I was told, this is just another step on my journey as a Jedi. There is so much left to learn, and I shall endeavor to do just that.” Kallia offers with a small smile, then, the topic shifts with interest, “Various newcomers now flit about the halls of Alderaan’s Enclave. Bright-eyed and bushy tailed, as I once was. It is good to see such life blossoming within our ranks. Not so long ago, the Order was devastated.” She had not been part of the Jedi during that time, but she is all too aware of the event.

“The past is the past, however. There is no sense dwelling on what could have been. The point of this recording was simply to document my survival, and my Knighting. And of course, my intentions to continue my path as a Jedi Guardian, despite my newfound habit of getting sniped at point blank range.” A joke, light as it is, twists into a smile upon her lips. “Now, it is time for some much needed rest." With that, the recording ends.

[therealdeathoracle]

Hi Death!

I have biology finals coming up and a major topic is…*drumrolls* evolution!! Here’s your chance to infodump me with everything you know about evolution, if you’d like to :)

OMG OK YES ILL INFO DUMP

I’ve studied eyes a lot so I’m gonna start there: pupils fascinate me a lot because of how heavily they impact our vision. Human's have rounded pupils, that we all know, but it allows us as a general predatory species to see pretty far into the distance in daylight. Other animals that have pupils like us, such as wolves, are top predators in their habitats so they don't need to worry about being hunted, so the lack of night vision and not having a wide field of view isn't something that would negatively affect them, at least not severely. Then there's vertically slit pupils that are common in cats and venomous snakes. These pupils expand to become circular in bright light, it's because of this that those animals are fantastic ambush predators. The ability to change the shape of their pupil allows them to see in a wide range of light even in the dark. And then of course there's horizontal pupils which are almost always found in animals that graze and have their eyes on the sides of their heads. The shape of that pupil allows for the ground to remain in very sharp focus while having an incredibly wide field of view. They're perfect for prey animals to keep an eye out for predators on the horizon and escape with ease should there be one. Now there's a lot of fascinating pupil's I've learned exist outside of those three commonly known ones. For example many fish have crescent or W shaped pupils. These allow for light to be absorbed in various parts of the eye rather than just in one. That allows them to see with a lot of contrast while negating the distortion that is naturally caused by the reflection of light in water. Or there's horizontally slit pupils which are found in prey-like amphibians such as frogs and toads. Just like with vertically slit pupils they expand to allow for more light to be taken in throughout the day and night while they forage, but because they are horizontal they allow the animals to easily spot vertical motion above them so they can evade predators attacking from above. And then there's vertical beaded pupils which frustrate me so much because I haven't been able to find much of anything about them. These can be found in some geckos, they look just like a normal vertical slit pupil but they have these bumps up and down it that create this beaded look to them. Those bumps are supposed to aid in perceiving distance and aid in adapting to hunting in a variety of environments.

Irises are also really interesting, although I haven't done a lot of research on them, so I only know with humans and not much else, if it even is different among other animals. The color, while hereditary, are determined by its ability to reflect light. So the lighter the color is, the more light gets reflected and vise versa. However, melanin is the pigment that decides how much of that light gets reflected, but melanin is brown so how do we have a variety of colors that aren't brown? Once again that is melanin! Despite being a brown pigment it can create colors that are even as light as blue in eyes, this is because of how the light gets reflected. Less melanin in your eyes causes your iris to be seen as blue, while more can cause it to be green, and a large amount turns it brown. Albinism has an interesting affect on it because it leaves you with a complete lack of melanin, most people with albinism have blue eyes because they still produce a very small amount of melanin. There's even a chance at being albino but still producing enough melanin to create hazel, green, or brown eyes. However if there is a complete lack of melanin then the iris will be viewed as red because of the light reflecting off blood vessels in the eye, and in incredibly rare cases if an albino person produces melanin in their eyes but not enough to turn it blue they can combine it with the reflection of their blood vessels and cause them to have very light purple eyes

I was going to add more but I feel like I've already written a lot here so if you'd like me to share about some other stuff then let me know, I hope this all made sense though!