#so i shall live. but i finally cut myself on a knife for the first time !! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clairecrive · 4 years ago

Note

can u make a nikolai x reader based on the song mr perfectly fine by taylor swift?

Mr Perfectly fine

A/n: Ahh, thank to you friend, I've been jamming to this song every day lmao Hope I've done it justice x Also, I've left out some parts of the lyrics to make it better fit the story.

(if you want, you can add yourself to my taglist here)

for my other masterlists, you can find them on my navigation page

Word count: more than 7K (ikik it took a life of his own, what can I say)

Warnings: bit of fluff, angst (like a lot), character's death, spoiler if you haven't read Siege and Storm

Tagging: @jupiterandbutterflies (Thank you so much for your comment! I saw it and it made my day✨)

(I don't remember where I took this from so if you know pls lmk)

Most people knew of Nikolai Lanstov. He was a prince, the second born and the most charming. Most people knew him thanks to the countless rumours that went around at court: supposedly he was not of royal blood. "Sobachka" was what they called him.

No matter how though, everyone knew of the last Lanstov prince. But very little knew him.

Meeting him wasn't difficult. Since he had been of age, Nikolai had always been out of the Grand Palace and among people. He’d also volunteered to enlist in the first army, refusing any kind of special treatment and fought beside his brothers in arms in the infantry. That was part of the reason why everyone outside the court loved him so much.

Being Grisha meant that fighting in the Second Army was mandatory. Not that you minded. There was nothing you wanted more for your people than to finally be free. Also, that Shadow Fold needed to go and as the Darkling has always said, all efforts are necessary.

That’s how you met Nikolai the first time. Generally, the First and the Second Army were stationed in different parts of the campsite. Numerous quarrels between oprichniki and Grisha had rendered the separation necessary. However, you never liked crowds much and living in the Little Palace meant that you were always surrounded by people. So, every chance you had to draw away and be by yourself for a while, you took it. Also, being a Healer meant that you’d spent more time in your assigned tent taking care of soldiers than among them.

Word had gone around that everyone in need could come to you. Usually, you had been instructed by the Darkling that your powers were reserved for Grisha. However, what good was it to have the ability to cure people and only take care of a selected few that very rarely got seriously injured? Meanwhile, soldiers of the First Army often suffered from severe injuries, fatal gunshots or knife wounds. You could help them and possibly save their lives so why shouldn’t you?

That was why Nikolai found you one night. Sure at that point it was just another nameless soldier to you. He had never been in your tent before so you had never seen his face before. The boy whose arm he had draped on his shoulders though, was a usual visitor of yours.

“Oh, Petyr, what happened this time?” gesturing to his blond friend to lay him down on the table, you started gathering everything you needed. Not that you needed much but you had found out that Petyr was absolutely incapable of bearing having his bones or injuries in general repaired without having some kind of pain reliever before.

After a few tries, you came up with a herbal composition that dulled the pain but didn’t make him unconscious. Using kvas would mean that Petyr would be knocked out for a couple of hours. That would put him in trouble with his superiors.

“He’s a fool, that’s what happened.” The explanation came from his friend after he put him down gently. Despite his words, you could hear in his tone worry and guilt?

“If saving your life makes me a fool then go ahead and call me one,” Petyr huffed in pain.

“Who knew you were so brave, uh?” After quickly shredding the herbs you needed, you poured hot water on it and brought the cup to Petyr’s lips while helping him keep his head up.

“He’s the bravest of us all,”

“If I knew it took a bullet wound to make you hand out compliments so easily, I would have done it sooner.” Scoffed Petyr after sending you a thankful look.

“See? What did I tell you? A fool,” his friend said dramatically and you smiled amused at their playful banter.

“Let’s see what we’re dealing with, shall we?” You said out loud to warn both Petyr and his friend. Letting them know what was about to happen was best, your experience taught you. Both for the person on the table that could brace themselves for what was about to happen and for the person with him that was filled with worry and cautiousness. Oprichniki didn’t trust Grisha that much.

After assessing the damage, you let out a relieved sigh as the bullet had gotten through and it had not hit any major artery. It had already got infected though, so you knew it would be a painful one to treat.

“So, did you receive any letters lately, Pety?” You ask, suggestively wiggling your eyebrows while your hands cover the wound. You had your eyes closed to better focus but you were sure that he had rolled his eyes.

“Only from my mum.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t write her back,” you said, opening your eye just in time to send him a glare.

“Ugh, not this again, y/n, please. Have mercy on me, I’m bleeding all over the table.” Petyr moaned making his friend snicker.

“You’re not bleeding all over the table and if you didn’t notice, I’m already taking care of you, am I not? That doesn’t excuse you for being an idiot, though.”

“Are you two in cahoots or something? It’s not fair. Wounded man over here.”

“Oh shut up.” Both you and his blond friend said at the same time. Petyr moaned once again and you sent a little amused smile to the blondie.

“Should I leave you with a cool battle scar? Maybe acting like a war hero will give you the balls to write to her.” You harmlessly threatened him but your hands were already reconnecting the tissue of his skin without letting it scar.

“I’ve told you, y/n. She deserves better than what I can give her. I am, who knows if I even make it home? I’d be only stringing her along.” Now Petyr was dead serious. It was true, you had talked about this often since he was a regular you got to know him better and he had soon told you about his sweet Katia.

While his friend chanted “fool” like a mantra in the background, you took his bloodied hand in yours, his wound fully healed.

“Petyr, how do you think she’s gonna react when she learns that there hasn’t been any delay to her letters but you’re just ignoring her? Besides, you should let her make this decision too. Who knows, she’ll surprise you.” Squeezing his hand you turned to let your words settle and to put away your utensils. You knew you had given him so much food for thought so you didn’t address the subject anymore. His friend helped him off the table and that’s when you noticed that he was injured too. He had a pretty nasty cut on his lower lip and there was already a bruise forming on his temple.

“Petyr, you can sit on my chair while I take care of your friend. You should be fine but for at least a while don’t stress your body.”

Mentally making a list of the things you need to tend to this kind of wound and where you kept them, you started collecting before heading back to them.

Petyr had sat down but his friend was still standing.

“You don’t have to lie down if you don’t want to, but unless you don’t want me to go take a ladder or something, it would be best if you sat on the table.” You gave him your best reassuring smile as you mixed the healing paste. Sometimes, men didn’t like to put themselves in a vulnerable position with someone they didn’t know and had learned to fear. He wasn’t that badly hurt and it would only take a couple of seconds to fix but not every oprichniki was comfortable with being healed by Grisha power. So the paste would do your job for you. It would take longer, sure and it would also sting a lot more but at least he’d be healed at last.

After looking at you for a little while, the blond man did as you instructed, giving you a dazzling smile in return when you settled between his legs to fix his cut.

“The name is Nikolai or handsome if you prefer.” It was not the first time a wounded soldier tried to flirt with you. IT didn’t bother you, you found them amusing more than anything and you knew it was the allure of someone taking care of them speaking more than any real interest.

“Let’s hope you won’t be around here much for me to learn your name.”

“I’ll have to find another way to make myself unforgettable then.” He winked at you before hopping off the table.

You didn’t address his words, only gave them the paste you had prepared. It would prevent any wound from being infected and would be able to cure small cuts and bruises if applied for a couple of days. With that, you sent them both on their way. Petyr waving you goodbye while Nikolai sent you another wink.

And so this was how it all started.

Mr. "Perfect face"

Mr. "Here to stay"

Mr. "Looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away"

Everything was right

Despite your fellow Grisha, military life could be a bit alienating. Which sounded like a paradox, sure, but everyone had their own way of processing trauma and emotions and of course there were plenty of those during the war. If the best way to come to terms with everything that happened was to distance yourself from others and try to find the solution in solitude, it could get to the point where you’d feel alone in a room full of people.

To get a little respite, you’d usually go on a long walk or resort to stargaze. Sometimes, depending on where you were posted, it wasn’t safe to leave the campsite. So, that’s how Nikolai found you one night. Even he had to take a breather once in a while. Being a different version of yourself based on who you’re interlocutor was must be exhausting. Of course, you didn’t know this. You knew nothing about Nikolai at that point if not that he was Petyr’s friend and a socialite, according to other soldiers.

He seemed to be at the centre of gossip no matter what group of people you found yourself with and there also seemed to be a consensus about him. Everyone liked him. Even if it was rare for some Grisha to appreciate oprichniki, you knew they somewhat respected him because if they didn’t praise him out loud, they didn’t speak ill of him either.

“Not a fan of crowds, are you?” he announced his presence before sitting down beside you.

“I love them, I really do. It’s just that sometimes it gets too much.”

“Yeah, I know how you feel.”

“You do? Everyone seems to think you’re a socialite.”

“It’s what I want them to think but alas, I enjoy being more complex and multifaceted than that.” He lightly bumped your shoulder with his, eyes aflame with mischief.

“I bet.” you simply smirked. Despite how everyone seemed to think they knew him, you got the peculiar vibe from him, like there was a lot more to him than what he let everyone see.

“No one seems to know much about you.”

“Maybe you’ve talked to the wrong people.”

“Well, then I guess it’s better if I got straight to the source, don’t you think?”

“That will surely be a better start. Not sure you’ll find what you’re looking for though.”

“We’ll see.”

That night had been the first of many. It had become a sort of an unspoken arrangement between the two of you. While it didn’t last long, you sensed that you got to know him better than everyone. There was something about late nights meetings under the stars that prompted deep and meaningful conversations. It wasn’t hard to form a solid bond with him after a few nights.

The conversations weren’t always personal in the conventional sense. You’d often stray and talk about the most bizarre things. Like why something had the name it had or how cool it’d be if it was possible to pass through surfaces, which led to imagine all the uncomfortable situations one could find themselves in if they were to simply go into a room through its wall.

Nikolai was witty, overly confident and ambitious and he knew a lot of things. You always wondered how he had learned them since he was so young and been in the army for a couple of years already. But Nikolai was never too forward on certain topics, his family and childhood being some of those. You understood, those were sore subjects for you too. So you never insisted. It was much more interesting to listen to him rumble about impossible future projects of his, like a flying ship.

"When people say impossible, they usually mean improbable." He’d say whenever you’d point it out to him. Somehow, despite the absolute absurdity of them, the sheer confidence that he seemed to constantly exude, made you consider the possibility of his success.

You got the distinct feeling that there was nothing this man couldn’t do.

But that was when I got to know Mr. "Change of heart"

Mr. "Leaves me all alone," I fall apart

It takes everything in me just to get up each day

But it's wonderful to see that you're okay

But, alas, as all things do, these encounters of yours also got to an end. You knew it would happen, you were both soldiers so your lives were both heavily characterised by uncertainty after all. However, you were not prepared for it to end so abruptly though. And without an apparent reason. Because Nikolai’s unit hadn’t been posted elsewhere and he hadn’t been fatally wounded. You would have heard of it were that the case. But it wasn’t.

You thought that he had come to cherish your nightly encounters too. Some of those had been full of his promises. How he’d love for you to be around when he’d eventually find the time to work on his ideas. How you had been a nice surprise, a most interesting person among so many dull idiots you were surrounded by every day. How he’d come to value your opinions and presence in his life and that he was going to find a way to make sure that that would never change. Promises that turned to be empty.

You had never allowed yourself to fully believe him. It wasn’t the first time that a boy had made the same kind of promises but Nikolai looked sincere. Honest enough to be believable. But, of course, you had been wrong.

You didn’t realise just how much you had come to rely on him until he was gone. You tried to keep your mind off him and luckily the perfect distraction came your way. The Darkling had scheduled an attack on the enemy’s army and had posted you to be on the field to take care of everyone promptly. You had never been more grateful to the man, even after he had given her a home and a purpose.

Ever since your first encounter with Nikolai, you had thought it had been a blessing. However, you had soon changed your mind and now considered a curse more than anything. Why? Because as soon as you got to the field you couldn’t help but scour the troops for a familiar mop of blond hair. Many looked like him and being this far you couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t one of them but you certainly despised the leap your heart made every time though. That was a distraction you couldn’t afford. Besides, it wasn’t smart to let your heart get involved in times of war.

The battle began, Inferni and Squallers were working together to impair the enemy’s visual so they couldn’t shoot or use their cannons while the First Army marched after them to swap in as soon as the air cleared to catch the enemy by surprise. While your role wasn’t active per se, you were a Corporalki after all, and even if you had been specifically trained as Healer, you had also got one of your friends to teach you the basics of an Heartrender’s work. You weren’t a powerful one but you could hold your ground in a fight. Especially since they weren’t expecting you. And you were still far from any real threat.

The battle dragged on and soon there were wounded soldiers that needed your attention. You hated this kind of work, it was messy and dirty and had to be quick because spending too much time on one soldier could mean dooming another to death. You were accustomed to it by now and soon found a rhythm focusing on ensuring everyone’s survival and not bothering with the aesthetic side of healing. That could be taken care of later if they wanted to.

As soon as your eyes fell onto a crouched figure you sprinted towards them. It was dirty and you didn’t recognize them but you got the feeling it was a life or death situation. Oh, how you wanted to be wrong.

The person crouching turned out to be Nikolai and he wasn’t alone. He was kneeling beside someone, Petyr.

“Where are you hurt?” you hurriedly asked as you tried to assess the damage. His uniform was dirty and full of blood but you couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Trying to answer you, Petyr opened his mouth only to let out the most gruesome gurgling sound as his respiratory tract was flooded by blood.

“He got shot in the gut.” Nikolai offered.

“Is the bullet still inside?” Opening his uniform jacket you tore a piece from his shirt to use it to put pressure on the wound.

“It’s too late,” Nikolai uttered.

“No.” You strongly refused as you removed the cloth and focused on the wound. His heart was straightening and he had already lost a lot of blood. If the bullet was still inside that it was going to be a problem, if it wasn’t then you still had a fighting chance.

“I removed it earlier.” So that was why he had lost so much blood. Nodding your head to show that you had heard him, you set out to stop the internal bleeding. Slowing his heartbeat so that it was pumping less blood and thus eased your endeavour. You were still in the middle of the field and while you were keeping up with the warfare but in the back of your mind, you registered the sounds of screaming and of gunshots getting closer. A bullet hit you in the shoulder propelling you forward over Petyr’s body. Grisha’s kefta were bulletproof so you weren’t worried for your incolumity but for the harsh movement you had made.

Leaning back, you heard Nikolai calling for you but your eyes were trained on Petyr. You tried to listen for his heartbeat but could only hear two instead of three. Nikolai, who had never left your side, immediately understood what had happened by the fall of your shoulders and the tensing of your hands.

He kept calling for you but the only thing you could focus on was that you had let your friend down. Now there will be one more family crying for a loss, another girl mourning a lost loved one. And it was all your fault. It was because of you that Petyr wouldn’t live to see another day, to write another letter or to fight another battle. It was on you.

The details of what happened next were a bit blurred. Someway you must have found your way back to the campsite. Whether you did on your own after tending to everyone else, you didn’t know. Your memories picked up after you woke up in your tent. Someone was calling your name, saying that the Darkling wanted to see you.

Mechanically you raised and made your way to the Darkling’s tent but your mind was elsewhere. Your thoughts were plagued by Petyr’s face, by that godforsaken sound he made when he tried to speak. The realisation that he was gone hit you like a wall of brick that would have made you stumble if you weren't’ sat in front of the Darkling’s desk. Whether he was speaking and stopped after seeing the forlorn look in your eyes or he hadn’t been speaking at all, you didn’t realize. You did hear him say that you were going to be posted somewhere. Under different circumstances you have said something, anything to not let him send you away. Your mind immediately went to Nikolai. You’d be leaving him behind along with the campsite.

However, you now realised that you had already lost him. Losing Petyr had been the last thing that had completely severed your bond. There was no turning back now and part of you was grateful.

Hello Mr. "Perfectly fine"

How's your heart after breaking mine?

I've been Miss "Misery" since your goodbye

And you're Mr. "Perfectly fine"

You couldn’t know, of course, but Nikolai had left not long after you did. Albeit for a different reason. He had finally earned the Major rank and as such, he took a step back from military life deciding that his skill would be better suited for a life on the sea. Assuring Ravka the supply she needed but in ways that weren’t exactly suitable for a prince but worked just fine for a privateer. And thus Sturmhond came to life.

As for you, you kept doing your job at your new post but were relieved when a letter came from the Darkling instructing that you were needed at the Little Palace. Part of you had relegated Nikolai to that part of your mind where the unmentionable was, however, a traitor thought whispered that maybe there was a chance that you could see him at the royal grounds. Sure, the possibilities were close to zero but it was still possible, right?

No.

You already were ashamed of the fact that you’re still suffering because of him. And yes, you missed him but you weren’t going to indulge the pathetic hope of seeing him again.

He doesn’t want to see you. If he did, he would have already found you. Or write you a letter if he couldn’t, but he didn’t.

You were right. You knew you were, nonetheless, the thought only brought you a bittersweet feeling.

You found the Little Palace just how you’d left it and yet it seemed changed in a way. The insane amount of work you found there waiting for you helped you drown the feeling that it was you that had changed.

Months passed this way, sometimes the Darkling would post you with him or outside the Little Palace. All in all, you’ve kept busy. When news of the little prince leaving the Palace reached you, you let it wash over you. It wasn’t like it mattered much, whether he was a few feet away or in another nation, Nikolai wasn’t part of your life either way.

When the whole expansion of the Fold happened, you were stationed at the Little Palace. Chaos and terror ensued as soon as the news reached the capital making most of the Grisha flee. Most of them went looking for the Darkling while others simply ran away and hid. You were amongst the first group.

Soon, your life was radically changed. The shift in the Darkling was palpable and it didn’t have anything to do with the scars on his face. You had tried your best to heal them and Genya to tailor them away but somehow, they could not be removed. It was an unsettling thing to realize that they didn’t take away his beauty. One could even say that they enhanced his attractiveness.

He was certainly more powerful. None of you knew what had happened in the Fold that day, just that the Sun Summoner had fled and that there were no survivors apart from him. However, as your journey in pursuit of Alina dragged on, you were soon witnesses of his newfound power.

The nichevo’ya, he called them.

He had always been immensely powerful. One of a kind. But this- this was different. And as dread settled among your group as you watched them in action, realisation sat heavily on your shoulders.

He soon found a trail and traced Alina in Novyi Zem and set out to reach the island by hiring Sturmhond’s crew. He was a famous pirate after all and despite his unreliability, the Darkling was sure that as long as he got his money, he wouldn't be a problem.

In the round trip, you didn’t see much of the captain anyway. Some members of his crew were amiable enough, particularly the Yul-Baatar twins. You had even asked Tamar to spar with you from time to time. Your lessons with Botnik were a distant memory and you knew that mastering combat training skills could increase your chance at survival.

When Alina and Mal were held captive though, that’s when Sturmhond made an appearance. He looked younger than you’d thought and there was something oddly familiar in the way he held himself. Still, you didn't talk with him much. Your job was to take care of Alina and so you spent most of your time in her room.

It wasn’t until the Darkling asked Mal to track Rusalye and consequently spent more time with Alina that you had a chance to talk with him. It was during one of your night shifts when he approached you, the Darkling had wanted some of his to always be patrolling the ship.

“What could possibly make a little thing like you be amidst this wretched company?”

“It’s all a matter of perspective, I guess.”

“The thrill of adventure?”

“There’s plenty of it everywhere you go if you’re Grisha, even if you just go on a stroll.”

“Is that why you follow him?”

“I owe everything to him.”

“I’m sure you realize your role in this.”

“Of course I do. I’m not some naive girl who has a crush on her general.”

“Ah, so who, pray tell, do you have a crush on then, beautiful lady?”

“You’re certainly noisy for a pirate.”

“Privateer,” he corrected you, “there’s not much to do around here is it?”

“Not if you have everyone taking care of it, no.”

“Amuse me.”

“It isn’t wise to let the heart get involved in times of war.” That was all you were willing to share. Yes, he was handsome. Yes, the twinkle in his eyes was oddly familiar but he was a stranger. A dangerous one.

“Those sound like words spoken from experience.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, I’d say it’s no fun to only think about war. Life is so much more.”

“Believe me, if I could, it’d be the last thing on my mind. But, alas, l don’t have the privilege to do so.”

You had already lost too much time speaking with him. If someone were to see you or tell the Darkling you’d be in trouble. And you had made it your goal to never put yourself on the path of the Darkling’s anger. So you excused yourself and went back to your rounds.

If only you had stayed and talked to him more maybe you would have understood what was about to happen. Maybe you would have had an enkindling of Sturmhond’s plans. Instead, you were taken by surprise, just like everyone in your group, when Rusalye was spot and a shot was fired. You had found yourself in the uncomfortable position of having to fight against people you had grown to like.

“I don’t want to hurt you, y/n,” Tamar warned you as you stood face to face on the sinking ship dock. Her trusted axes in her hands while your hands were raised ready to attack.

“I don’t want to hurt you either.”

“Then you don’t have to. Come with us.” Her proposition made you gasp.

“That would be treason,” you whispered hoping that the Darkling wasn’t around to hear you. A shiver ran through you as you thought of the punishment he’d give you for even thinking about leaving his side.

“Then you leave me no choice.” She said lowering her arms. Was that guilt you heard in her voice?

Before you could voice your question though, she shouted for her brother and not even a second later, you felt your body grow still. Your eyebrows faltered as you felt your heartbeat slow down.

They were Grisha.

They must have seen you realise because you heard Tamar apologize before everything went black.

Mr. "Never told me why"

He goes about his day

Forgets he ever even heard my name

Well, I thought you might be different than the rest, I guess you're all the same

You didn’t stay out for long though. As soon as Sturmhond’s crew had left the Darkling’s ship and had safely made it onto the Volkvolny, the privateer had asked for you to be awakened.

There wasn’t enough light for you to realize you were on another ship, what alerted you of your new situation were your hands. They had bound them behind your back. Immediately you started to struggle, hoping to wiggle out of the restraints. To no avail though. Huffing out in frustration, you settled for looking around you and see if there was something you could use. That’s when you noticed him.

“Release me- this instant, or else-”

“Or what? You’re a Healer. Not exactly a violent job, is it?” Sturmhond interrupted you, a smirk on his face since he had the upper hand.

“I don’t need my powers to kick you in the ass, do I?” He laughed but didn’t look remotely threatened. Rather amused, actually.

“Please, you have to let me go. He’ll kill me if-” Panic started to build as you realized that there was no way you could successfully escape.

“He won’t touch you.” A solemn glow took over his eyes. “He won’t ever hurt you again, you have my word.” He promised, looking subtly at your left shoulder. You winced as you realized that he must have seen your scars. The ones left by the Darkling’s niche’voya.

“How can I know if you’re trustworthy? You don’t exactly have a good score, you know?”

“You’re going to find out soon enough. Don’t worry.”

Of course, he didn’t bother offering further explanations. He’d left it at that. You weren’t a captive per se but he left your hands bound, only freeing them when you needed to eat or relieve yourself.

Fruitless were your efforts in making you tell more. He often ate with you and would check in at least twice a day but that was it.

It wasn’t until after you had landed after that forsaken vehicle of his had gotten you through the Fold that you understood. His coming out as Nikolai Lanstov, prince and second in line for the Ravkan throne, had shaken you all to your core. However, you doubted that it had sent a pang to the others’ hearts as it did with yours.

Nikolai Lantsov. The man you had been dreaming about, the one that had left you behind without any sort of explanations, the one you missed so dearly, had been by your side all this time.

You weren’t sure how you felt. It made sense now why his eyes looked familiar and his posture. You then connected that the vehicle you had used in the Fold had been one of the many projects he used to geek about with you. It tasted a lot like betrayal. Not because he had lied to you about his name but because he had tried to get close to you again and had managed to somehow break that growing bond again.

'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her

So dignified in your well-pressed suit

So strategized, all the eyes on you

Oh, he's so smug, Mr. "Always wins"

So far above me in every sense

So far above feeling anything

Even if his secret had been outed thus causing some shift in the dynamics between Nikolai and the two new members of his crew - you suspected Mal was closer to punching him every second that passed- not much had changed for you.

On the outside, you pretty much looked like a prisoner. Albeit a very clean one. You rode with them, hands still bound, scowl ever-present on your face.

Nikolai had not come to see you ever since that night after the Fold. And now it had been almost a week since you had started your journey back to the capital. Whether this was all part of his plan to make you look the part of the captive even more or he was just gutless, you didn't know. It was working either way though.

You liked to think that his reason was simply that he didn't care. He had far too much on his plate right now as it was. Going back to court after years of absence while also making claims to the throne and trying to sway the Sun Summoner your way. It was no easy feat. But hadn't he always liked to say that impossible often meant improbable? A lot of things had changed since that night but even so, you'd still pose your bet on him that he'd be able to achieve anything he set his mind to.

It wasn't exactly that thinking this way brought you actual comfort. Of course, not. But it was better than foolishly hoping for him to still care about you the way you did for him. After all, he had sent plenty of signals that pointed in the other direction.

But then why did he kidnap you? Why take you with him? You weren't that close to the Darkling to be of any use to Nikolai in that way. And, as a matter of fact, no one had come to interrogate you regarding his plans or whereabouts. Then why?

You still couldn't figure it out.

Some days your anger shifted more to frustration and you were ounces away from asking for him yourself. Almost as if he had heard you though, he gave you the final push.

It was the usual day, Nikolai and Alina were riding in the carriage, stopping in every village we passed to meet with the locals. However, this time, before climbing back into the carriage, they kissed.

You were too far to figure out who started it and the details. The gist of it was enough though.

You most certainly were a fool. Still thinking about a guy who didn't give two shits about you, who had kidnapped you putting you in a dangerous situation and you were still wondering whether he felt something for you or not? Pathetic.

You had to do something about your situation and quickly too. Officially, you were a traitor. You had fled and joined the Darkling, that wouldn't make you look good in front of the king. He was a lousy bastard anyway and will probably sentence you to death to set an example. You hadn't survived so much shit to end up at the end of a rope.

So, even though you had initially thought against it since you were so close to home, you decided to escape. You were already headed towards certain death so what was the worst that could happen?

Your hands were left unbound when you were in your tent. One less problem to solve. Closing your eyes, you focused on listening for any nearby heartbeats. You heard two, those of the guards posted outside your tent. Maybe you could find an excuse to call them inside, put them to sleep and then slip away.

That was not exactly what your powers were for but you were desperate. You had to at least try.

And so you did. You called them in and immediately set out to slow their heartbeats. You had almost succeeded in putting them under when someone else slipped in. The last person you wanted to see.

"Am I that bad of a host?"

You didn't meet his ruse though, you knew it would make you lose focus.

"I'm afraid I have to ask you to release my soldiers." As soon as he said it though, they fell unconscious at last. Your chest was heaving by now, using so much power in such a different way was costing you. But you couldn't back down now. It was one on one and you were Grisha and a woman scorned. He stood no chance.

"Move out of my way, your highness."

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"You can or I can make you. Your choice." The venom in your voice was unmistakable and it took him by surprise. He gave you a curious look tilting his head to the side like he was seeing you for the first time over again.

"I didn't realize ruthlessness was one of your personality traits."

"You know nothing about me," you seethed. The tip of your fingers flexed, the tension in the room could be cut with a knife and you were already weary.

"It may have been a while y/n, but I like to think I know a good deal about you."

"And I would like to completely erase this last year but you don't hear me yap about how shitty it has been, do you?"

"You never did like opening up much."

"I'm well past the point of sentimentalism, Nikolai. It is coming far too late anyway. And whatever my feelings for you may be, I won't let you put my life on the line." Your posture straightened, stance ready for battle.

His eyes flashed, jaw clenched. His hands closed in fists and he almost looked hurt. But why would he?

"Is that what you think all of this is?" Nikolai always acted aloof. He was always composed and dignified. You had thought it was for his insane amount of self-confidence but now you understood it was for how he was raised. But you recognised the pout on his lips. It was the expression he’d always have whenever he tried to get something from getting to him. To prevent himself from showing emotions.

"You're holding me captive while you go around Ravka parading your latest conquest, flashing your return everywhere. I don't know why you're doing this but I don't care. I've stopped waiting around for you and I certainly won't let your father put me to death."

"You think I'd let him?"

"So you want to do this?" you threw your hands up in exasperation, "Fine. You really want to know what I think?"

"Be my guest."

"I think that the Nikolai I knew would have left out of the blue without so much as a letter. I think that the Nikolai I knew was ready to go to any length to achieve what he believed in. However, I thought that the Nikolai I knew cared about me and what we had but look at me now. So maybe, I know nothing at all."

"You certainly do seem to know a lot of things. But you’re not wrong."

"If this is the way you care about me," I gesture to my tent, "then I'm not sure I want this Nikolai to care for me."

“This,” he said, emulating your gesture, “is to keep you safe. This is my way to ensure that if the Darkling got news of your whereabouts, he’d be sure not to think you willingly left his side and betrayed him.”

“That’s because I didn’t!” You raised your voice in outrage. The nerve of this man.

“Spare me your indignation. I know you hate being at his beck and call, to do his dirty work and be constantly surrounded by warfare.”

“Do not presume to speak for me.” You snapped. You knew it was best to keep a cool head but his cockiness was getting on your nerves.

“Didn’t you? Hate it, I mean.”

“We’re at war, Nikolai. Being away or close to the Darkling won’t change that. At least with him, I was safe.”

“You can’t be that delusional to think that he was protecting you.” He scoffed at your words as if they were the most absurd thing he had ever heard.

“And you can’t be that delusional to think that bringing me back won’t result in your father killing me.” You fired back shifting on your feet. He winced as if you had physically hurt him.

“You have so little faith in me?” His voice was just above a whisper and you knew that your words had struck a chord.

“How can I have any, Nikolai?” your voice softened a bit. “One day you’re telling me how much you value my opinion, you promise me a future where I’d be the first to see your project come to life and then you left. You just left, Nikolai.” And when I was starting to make my peace with it that’s when you come back? Also, let’s not forget about my abduction and your flirting with Alina.”

“So yes, I don’t trust you.” You concluded, crossing your arms on your chest with finality. He just stared at you for the longest time. If someone would come in now, they’d think you were in the middle of a staring contest. Then he sighed and started talking.

“I had to go away. I had already pushed my parents’ limits when I said I wanted to be part of the infantry. So, one day I got a letter written by my father personally and I knew that my time was up. I had been Nikolai for too long, now I had to start being a Lantsov prince.” His eyes were on the ground now, shame making her way in his words.

“So that’s what I did,” he went as he started pacing,”I went to Kerch to study, just like my father wanted. I did what he asked, he couldn’t reproach me anything now. I could never stay too still though, a life of adventure was calling me and I could not ignore it. It was only then that I realized that I could do so much more than sitting in a class, to realistically help Ravka.”

“I couldn’t take you with me. You had such a larger role to play in the army and besides, there wasn’t much I could offer you. So yes, I left. I left thinking that I would find my way back to you eventually.” He had stopped by now, regret was swirling in his shining orbs as he looked at you.

“You could have told me.” You contestated, taken back by all the information he gave you. “I would have waited for you.” A whispered promise for something that would never be now.

“I was afraid, y/n. That’s not my best moment, I know and no number of apologies could ever make it right. But I was afraid of your answer. I knew I’d be asking for a lot and let’s be honest-” the desperation in his tone was evident now, he had unconsciously started to lean towards you but you knew what he was about to say.

“You weren’t sure if the future you were offering me would just end up with me being your mistress, am I right?” Your tone hardened but despite the insulting implication of what you said, you weren’t made at him.

“I’m a prince, y/n. We do not marry for love and this country cannot afford to disregard the advantages that a political union could bring.”

His honesty was as refreshing as it was unsettling. He was right. As soon as you had learned he was a prince, you realized just what kind of future you could have with him. But then he left and that problem did not exist anymore. Neither of you spoke, both of you were seizing the other. You had laid it all out, defences were down putting you both in a vulnerable position.

And someday maybe you'll miss me

“You should have talked to me, Nikolai. We could have figured it out together. If it came to being your mistress to stay with you, then that was my decision to make.” You said softly after a while. It pained for you to say this, you would have never thought that getting closure would hurt this much.

Tears streamed on both of your faces, in front of you had been laid what your future could have looked like. It was everything you had wanted, you could still do your job and have the man of your dreams. You were surprised to find that you wouldn’t mind sharing him with his supposed wife. You had been at court for enough time to know how most marriages went. If he assured you it was only a diplomatic affair but that his heart was yours, that would have been enough. Who knows, maybe she’ll get a lover too.

But now… now you didn’t know if you could ignore everything that happened. You did not trust him nor could you ignore how hurt you were by his lack of communication and thus of trust in you.

But by then, you'll be Mr. "Too late"

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov imagines #nikolai lanstov one shot #nikolai lanstov fic #nikolai lanstov x you #nikolai lanstov x y/n #shadow and bone #grishaverse #nikolai lanstov angst #nikolai lanstov fluff #nikolai lanstov blurb

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dialovers-translations · 4 years ago

Text

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Shuu [VAMPIRE ENDING]

ー The scene starts in front of Karlheinz’ castle

Yui: ( His answer...? )

Shuu: Basically you’ll quietly let yourself get killed?

Karlheinz: ...No.

I will kill you.

Shuu: !?

Yui: Shuu-san!!

( Karlheinz-san’s hand is reaching towards Shuu-san...! Don’t tell me he’ll actuallyーー! )

Shuu: Kuh...!

Yui: ...!!

*STAB*

Shuu: ...

...You never change.

Yui: ...Shuu-san...?

Karlheinz: ...Hah...

Yui: ( ...!! There’s a knife stabbed inside Karlheinz-san’s chest...! )

Karlheinz: Kuh...

*Thud*

Shuu: Like you did just now...You see right through my plans, always making sure you’re one step ahead.

Expecting me to follow in your footsteps is unreasonable. I simply had no other choice but to give up.

Karlheinz: That is exactly.... how those standing at the very top must be. It is how, you will guide your people down the right path...

Next....I must guide you.

Shuu...In what lies ahead of you, you will surely be thrown into a state of disarray.

However, that is your...destiny. One which you could never escape, from the second you were born as my son...Your dark fate. (1)

However...You have already decided you will no longer run away, no? For the sake of those you wish to protect.

Shuu: ...Yeah.

Karlheinz: ...Perfect.

You have fully awakened as Adam. I shall give you my answer as well.

Shuu...You did more than a fine job trying to reach my level. And right now, you have even surpassed me.

You, who has learnt how to love and feel, should now possess powers much greater than my own.

Go ahead, my son. Take my head...

The head of none other than the King. I am sure it will be useful to you in many ways...

Shuu: ...Ugh...

...Yui, close your eyes. You don’t have to see this.

Yui: ...No, me tooーー

Shuu: It’s fine.

In return...Whenever I will recall this moment in the future, please quietly stand by my side.

Yui: ...

...Okay.

ー Yui closes her eyes

Karlheinz: I’m leaving everyone in your care...

*CHOP*

Yui: ...!?

( What is going on...!? This overwhelming forceーー... )

( I can’t...I can’t endure it... )

ー She collapses

*Thud*

Shuu: Yui!?

ー The scene shifts to the garden

Ayato: ーー Take a look at the sky...

Kanato: Is that enormous magical energy...Father...?

Laito: ...It’s Shuu.

Subaru: He actually killed him...?

Reiji: ...!

Laito: Isn’t this for the best? To us Vampires, death is a blessing.

I’m sure he yearned for it as well.

Ayato: So he finally took his final breath? Well...He lived for long enough.

Laito: You’re being awfully optimistic, Ayato-kun. The King of Vampires just died, you know? Furthermore, the Vibora are without a leader right now as well.

Kanato: I can only imagine chaos will break loose in the Demon World. I’m sure there will be many wars as well.

Subaru: You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me...As if this place isn’t enough of a hellhole already...

Reiji: ...

Ayato: Oi, Reiji. Whatcha gonna do?

Reiji: ...Let us go meet Shuu.

There are a hundred and one things...I want to ask him, and say to him.

Laito: Let’s go pay our dear older brother a visit then.

Subaru: Cut it out, you’re makin’ me gag!

Reiji: ...Father...

*TIMESKIP*

Shuu: ーー Oi, Yui.

Yui: ...

ー Yui wakes up near the castle

Yui: ...Shuu...san...?

Shuu: ...You’ve regained consciousness, huh?

Yui: I...

Shuu: You had fainted. I assume from the magic energy.

Yui: Magic energy...?

Shuu: ...When the Old Man died, his power was let loose. You witnessed that right before your eyes.

His magic energy was the strongest of anyone in the Demon World. I guess a human simply couldn’t endure it. ...Are you okay?

Yui: Yes...

...How about you, are you alright?

Shuu: ...

...To be honest, I’m not quite sure myself yet.

Part of me regrets killing him, but at the same time, I also feel somewhat relieved.

Yui: ...Do you believe you made the wrong choice?

Shuu: I don’t know that either.

I never thought of him in terms of ‘like’ or ‘hate’ but...

Right now, I understand very well that my Father has always been an impactful figure in my life.

All in all, I might have actually viewed him as my family. For some reason, I feel as if I’ve lost a part of me...

Yui: Shuu-san...

*Meoooow*

Yui: Ehーー...?

*Meoooow*

Yui: Ririe!?

*Meoooow*

Yui: Ririe...!

Shuu: ...He was alive?

I figured he had died because we gave him that name but...I guess you weren’t that weak after all.

...Come here.

*Meoooow*

Shuu: Even when something is lost...Life goes on. That might be the true meaning of a family.

Haah...My list of things to protect just keeps on growing.

Yui: ...Will you protect us? Both me and Ririe?

Shuu: You’re still asking that now? Isn’t that what it means to be a family?

...I’ve made up my resolve. I will take responsibility. I will go head-to-head with my own destiny.

Yui: Shuu-san...

Ayato: ーー Oi, there they are!

Yui: You guys...! Is everything okay now?

Ayato: In what world? My whole body hurts like hell!

Laito: But I’m glad to see you safe as well, Bitch-chan.

Kanato: That being said...Where did that cat come from?

*Meoooow*

Yui: Ah...Ririe, you can’t! Come here.

Subaru: Ririe...?

Shuu: ...Shut it, you guys.

Where’s Reiji?

Reiji: I am present, right here.

ー Reiji walks up to him

Reiji: ...Shuu. Do you remember what I told you?

Shuu: The part about not forgiving me if I were to kill the Old Man?

Reiji: ...So you did kill Father after all.

Shuu: Yeah.

Reiji: Did he have...any final words?

Shuu: He asked me to take good care of all of you.

That isn’t what brought forth this decision but...I’ll be playing his role from here on out.

Reiji: ...!

Kanato: You’ll ascend the throne?

Ayato: A sloth like yourself? ...For real?

Reiji: Are you saying...You will become the Vampire King?

Shuu: That’s what it’ll boil down to. The late King has died.

From here on out, I will lead the Clan of Vampires as their new King.

Yui: ( Shuu-san... )

Shuu: The Demon World is in disarray ever since what happened to the Vibora. Once the news of the Vampire King’s death hits the masses, it’ll only get worse.

After losing their leader, the Vibora were swiftly conquered by the Founders and lost their clan’s pride.

I can’t let the Vampires go down that same path. I won’t allow for that to happen.

I can’t let those guys...run loose forever.

Even if my struggle is in vain, I will fight till the bitter end.

We haven’t seen the last of this yet...

Ayato: ...But can you pull that off though? Us Vampires are already running low in numbers after the recent attack.

Shuu: Of course, I don’t believe I can fix this all by myself.

I’ll obviously rely on you guys’ help as well. I won’t take no as an answer. As members of this family, you’ll follow my lead.

Laito: Good grief...Seems like we got ourselves another tyrant on our hands.

Shuu: Reiji. You’ll be my right-hand man. Lend me your strength as the second son of the Sakamaki household. Understood?

Reiji: ...

...I did not fathom a day would come on which I get to hear such a clear order from you.

Very well. For the sake of our family, and our clan, I shall do everything within my ability.

Yui: ( Reiji-san... )

Shuu: First we must retroop our people. Then we can move on to uniting them.

Reiji: You make it sound so easy.

Shuu: Of course, I don’t believe it’ll be a breeze. Therefore, first upーー Yui.

Yui: Eh? Yes?

( I wonder what he’s going to say? He’s staring right into my eyes... )

Shuu: I’ll marry her.

Yui: ...Eh?

Ayato: Hah?

Kanato: ...What are you saying?

Shuu: That’ll increase my prestige, no?

Subaru: You’re marryin’ her over that reason!? Don’t you feel bad for her!?

Shuu: Haah...Ridiculous. You really think I would go through all the trouble just for that?

I’m obviously marrying her out of love.

Yui: ...Shuu-san!?

Laito: Haah...I didn’t think I would hear those words come from Shuu’s mouth one day.

Kanato: Seems like he won’t even bother listening to Yui-san’s reply.

Shuu: Because I don’t need to. ...Right, Yui?

Yui: ...No fair...

Shuu: You’ve been stuck in this destiny with me since forever. You can no longer escape.

So you should make up your resolve as well.

Reiji: Haah...You decide such an important thing on the spot. I fear for the future...

Well, I suppose it is fine. Right now, we have something to celebrate first.

The birth of a New King, and his spouseーー

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ...I didn’t think I would one day get married in the Demon World.

Shuu: Really? I anticipated this.

I told you, didn’t I? That I was aware this moment would come one day.

You were naturally there as part of that imagination as well.

Yui: I...How should I know without you telling me?

Shuu: I’m not the type of guy who expresses himself with words. I’m pretty sure I told you that before as well?

Yui: Gosh...

*Meooow*

Yui: Ririe. Did you wake up?

*Meooow*

Yui: Fufu, come here.

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“What? You think I look lovely in these clothes because it’s so different from my usual attire? ...Haha. Dare I say you don’t look half bad either?”

“I’ve had let alone time with you ever since this little guy came along. ...However, from here on out, you’ll always be only mine.”

Shuu: ...Don’t you think you spoil him a little bit too much?

Yui: You think so? Not as much as with you though...

Shuu: What do you mean?

Yui: I think I spoil you much more than I do Ririe.

Shuu: ...Hah, you tell me.

*Rustle*

Shuu: In that case, make it a little more obvious.

You always claim you don’t understand me but...Your behavior is confusing as well.

Yui: I-Is it...?

( I always thought I was pretty straight-forward...I wonder if that didn’t quite convey to him...? )

Shuu: Don’t look so anxious. ...It properly got through to me.

Yui: Ah...

*Meooow*

Shuu: You’ve made it more than clear that you love me ...Nn...

Yui: Nn...

Shuu: Nn...Haah...

Shuu: Haha...Now you are one of us as well.

Yui: Am I?

Shuu: Even if your body is human, you’ll marry the Vampire King, so I’m sure that will happen.

The King’s spouse is a human, huh? Well, I don’t think that’s such a bad thing?

...Yui.

Yui: Yes?

Shuu: Chaos still washes over the Demon World to this day. I can only imagine the war will get intense.

Yui: ...Yes.

Shuu: As long as you stand by my side like this, you will surely get involved with this dark fate as well.

That must be rough as a woman, and a human on top of that. I can understand why you would rather turn a blind eye to it.

Yui: ...I’m prepared.

I’ve always stuck by your side, well aware that this would happen.

Shuu: Heh...I guess I worried for nothing.

Well, not that I was going to let you go either way.

Father was right. I...lose all meaning in life when you’re not with me.

Stay with me until death. I’ll protect you till that day.

Become my new family, and live by my side.

Yui: ...Yes.

Shuu: Then kiss me.

Yui: ...Where did that come from!?

Shuu: Just words aren’t enough. Promise it with your body as well. Come on...

Yui: Nn...

*Smooch*

Shuu: Hah...I really like this way much better than just mere words.

*Meooow*

Shuu: ...Don’t interfere. She belongs to me.

Yui: Oh come on, don’t compete with a cat.

Shuu: I guess every time we welcome a new member to our family, I’ll have to reconfirm that you’re mine.

Haah...I fear for the future. Having a family really is a drag after all.

Well, I guess I can live with it if they’re directly descended from you.

Yui: ( Does he mean...? )

Shuu: From here on out, I’ll protect both you and my family with my own two hands.

To live alongside my precious family, and the woman I love...

Yui: ...Yes.

Shuu: ...We still haven’t said it, huh?

Yui: What exactly?

Shuu: The oath to become a family.

Komori Yui. I...love you.

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) Karlheinz drops this term in the general prologue as well. He says 闇の運命 or ‘yami no sadame’ which means ‘the law of the dark’. However, ‘sadame’ is written with the characters for ‘unmei’, which means ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’ instead of 定め.

Within the DL franchise, ‘the dark’ is often used as a synonym for demons/those who live in the Demon World. For example, in HDB, the boys will often call themselves ‘yami no juumin’ or ‘residents of the dark’. Personally, I believe he implies that all Demons are born with a set path in life already drawn out for them and in Shuu’s case, it was his destiny to one day become Adam, kill his Father to inherit his powers and become the next Demon King.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #shuu sakamaki #dark fate #diabolik lovers translation #dfshuuending1

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ihatetaxes99 · 2 years ago

Text

In a previous post's comment section, I was asked by a kind follower (hi) if I would care to speak a little about my less than popular opinion on Undertale. And yes, without any strongs attached, I am not a fan of the game. For me, it comes down to pretentiousness. The actual battle system of Undertale is rather fun in my opinion, but it is the writing that destroys it all. Undertale has a fairly generic monster world populated by wacky and zany jokeboxes that rarely succeed in being funny, and a narrative that almost strives to demean a player for killing monsters.

Simply put, I don't find Mr. Fox's comedy funny; I find it very obnoxious. And the game's dialogue is 90% comedy, so that is really a big problem. I love the Ace Attorney series and those games have a lot of wacky comedy, but even there, it has genuinely intelligent writing beneath the surface. Manfred Von Karma is one of my favourite video game antagonists for how damned intimidating and hatable he is, while characters like Edgeworth and Blackquill's brand of aloof anti-heroism never fails to put a grin on my face. I was a tad sidetracked there, but in comparison to these characters, a lot of Undertale's cast has no greater depth. Alphys is a pathetic weeaboo nerd who pines for the fish lady. Yes, her more tragic elements are touched upon, but in a barely two hour game, she's hardly fleshed out. She in particular, alongside certain characters like Temmie and the funny skeleton man, feel in large part, crafted to appeal to the internet. They have this early 2010s Tumblr (or modern day Reddit) vibe to them, where they try far, far too hard to be funny without really succeeding. It doesn't help that I get the impression that Fox has somewhat bought into his own hype, although this is only from glancing at a few Twitter posts and little else, so I shall say no more on that matter. My final words on the game's comedy is that it would be like if Better Call Saul addressed the meme culture that has grown around Breaking Bad and became super self aware without much heart or character growth. It has that "Oh, we're too cool to take things seriously" vibe that I cannot stand. Yes, I'm a bit of a joker myself, but there's a time and a place to cut that crap out and actually reflect with some severity and Undertale does that for maybe abouyt five minutes total, outside of the Genocide Route.

Speaking of...

Of course, this is just my surface complaints and the main problem that I have with Undertale is undoubtedly how it handles its message. These monsters of the underground are deserving of respect, and the objectively correct choice is to spare them. That is the message that the game gives you. The problem is that nothing about the monsters indicates that killing them is a bad thing, either because they're annoying parasitical joke machines or because they're trying to bloody kill me first. I'm mostly referring to neutral runs here. It is incredibly douchy to treat the player like shit and emotionally manipulate them for killing the blue fish lady after she made the first blow. "Oh, these monsters have their own lives and desires." I'm sure the meth addict who ran at me with a knife in East Belfast had his own life and desires too, doesn't mean I had to stand still and let him stab me, while reasoning with him about the powers of friendship. It's just kind of shitty and the entire system feels to me like an attempt to subverse typical RPG tropes without giving it the full thought for the negative reprecussions it can have on the story, the tone or the message. Undertale's message is "killing is evil"; This is in spite of the monsters' own willingness to kill me. With these kinds of nature of violence games, I definitely prefer them to be more like Hotline Miami, where the narrative observes but does not directly judge. Jacket isn't called out explicitly by the game as some monster because he killed legions of Russian gangsters who were willing to shoot him on sight. I'm playing a game, not reading the Bible.

Anyway, my rant must surely have grown a tad long in the tooth. It's very much like Persona 5 to me, a fun game to play, but with themes and characters so repulsive to me that I can't in good faith see it as something I enjoy, considering that it as a game prides itself so much on its story and cast.

Also, I never once brought up the issue of the fandom here and that was deliberate. If I was going to hate something based off the toxicity of its fandom, I would enjoy nothing aside from Jeff the Cabbie from BCS. That is its own can of worms and I don't co sider the fandom all too relevant to my feelings on the game itself, only that the popularity does puzzle me somewhat. Then again, I'm an old, cynical bastard who sits around writing fanfic and listening to late twentieth century music, so what do I know?

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cooliogirl101 · 4 years ago

Note

If Sayuri was transported to Bleach canon alone (assuming the same premise of the lightning mist au, where Sousuke is dead so she doesn’t seek to find a way back), what would she do?

Well in the lightning mist AU, she basically went into a deep, deep depression and didn’t come out of it until she found Sakumo and Kakashi. I don’t think she would bother seeking out canon!Aizen-- she wouldn’t be able to bear having him look at her without any of the warmth, love, and recognition her Sousuke looked at her with. She’d wander the world lost, grieving, not wanting to live but not having the energy to die either.

Ichigo first meets the woman in white when he is nine years old. He sees her standing by the river as he’s walking to karate practice, staring blankly into the distance.

She’s not the first person Ichigo’s found wandering around Karakura Town looking a little lost. The others, they’d mainly looked confused, unsure of who they were or what they were supposed to be doing. This one, though...this one just looked sad.

“Hey!” He calls out. She doesn’t respond and so he runs up to her. “Hey, are you alright? Do you need help?”

Close up, Ichigo can’t help but notice that the woman looks...really, really thin. He swallows, looking up at her sunken eyes, the dark bruise-like shadows underlining them, her hollowed-out cheeks...

“Are-- are you hungry?” He asks the stranger hesitantly. “Do you want to come home with me? Mom would be okay with it, she loves having guests over! And she’s a really good cook, everyone says so. You should come! I think we’re having curry tonight.”

Her eyes flicker down towards him, gaze sharpening for the briefest moment as she takes in his face. Then she turns away, walking off. Ichigo watches her go, expression thoughtful. When he gets home that night, he makes sure to sneak some extra snacks into his backpack for tomorrow.

Ichigo seeks out the woman in white every day for the next three weeks. It isn’t always easy to find her but something about the water seems to calm her, and so more often than not Ichigo can find her standing by the river. He still hasn’t managed to convince her to take any food but on the bright side, she seems to be tolerating his presence more. She hasn’t walked away from him since that first day and although she still hasn’t spoken, she’s starting to listen more-- her focus on him rather than the water’s depths.

One day in mid-June, it starts raining really hard and so Ichigo sneaks an extra umbrella into his backpack in addition to the multitude of untouched snacks. He doesn’t get a chance to look for her after school-- the rain had started really coming down and Isshin had showed up to take him straight to karate-- and so once karate practice ends, he hardly even waits for Masaki before sprinting out the door.

“Hey, hey, slow down!” Masaki laughs, chasing after him. “What’s the rush?”

“I’m looking for a friend,” Ichigo replies, scanning the riverside for a hint of white. “She’s got brown hair and she always wears white. Do you see her?”

Masaki pauses, pulling Ichigo under her umbrella.

“I don’t think so,” she says after a moment, peering into the rain. “With it raining this much, your friend is probably inside, Ichigo.”

“Maybe,” Ichigo says dubiously, cupping his eyes with his hands in an attempt to see better. Masaki looks at him, a fond smile on her lips.

“Tell you what. We’ll come back and look for her together tomorrow, okay?” She says warmly. “For now though, let’s go home. I don’t want you to get a cold.”

“Fine,” Ichigo says begrudgingly. “But tomorrow, I definitely wanna-- wait, I think I see her!” Before Masaki can stop him, he runs towards the faint figure he sees in the distance, where the rising water is especially turbulent.

As he gets closer, he can tell that the figure isn’t the woman in white-- instead it’s a kid, a little girl probably around Yuzu and Karin’s age. She’s crying, clutching onto a stuffed bear, eyes swollen shut with tears.

“Hey,” Ichigo says softly, so as not to scare her. Behind him, Ichigo can hear Masaki shouting his name. “Hey, are you alright? Do you need help?”

At the sound of his voice, the girl stops crying for a moment. She blinks, looking up at him with large, teary eyes.

“The water is especially high today,” she whispers, so quietly Ichigo can barely hear her. She smiles, squeezing her teddy bear with both arms. “I love to swim. Will you swim with me, nii-san?”

The girl turns back towards the river, bending her legs as if preparing to jump. His heart leaping into his throat, Ichigo lunges towards her with one arm outstretched.

“Don’t--!”

He never makes it. Instead, he feels a pair of arms encircle him from behind, pulling him into a secure embrace.

“Look away, Ichigo-kun,” an unfamiliar voice murmurs, even as a strange tiredness spreads through his entire body, causing his eyelids to droop. “This is not for you to see.”

The last thing Ichigo hears before his vision goes dark is a sickening squelch, not unlike the sound of a butcher knife slicing through a fresh cut of meat.

“Forgive me, I don’t think I introduced myself last night.” Sayuri opens her eyes to find the same red-haired woman from last night in front of her, a kind smile on her face. “I’m Kurosaki Masaki, Ichigo’s mother.”

“...Sayuri,” Sayuri answers, after a sluggish pause. She blinks, gathering her thoughts-- she remembers the weight of Ichigo’s body in her arms, handing him over to his frantic mother, the scent of blood in the rain. “How...how is he doing?”

She has a general idea of Ichigo’s wellbeing-- his spiritual energy is bright enough to sense clear across town, even at this age-- but it’s always better to confirm.

“Asking for you,” Masaki replies, her lips quirking up. “It was all I could do to keep him from following me here-- but then, I wanted to speak with you first.”

Her smile fades, expression sobering.

“You know, I spent hours rehearsing what I was going to say to you this morning?” Masaki asks. “I don’t even know where to start. You saved my son’s life.” She exhales shakily. “I mean, how do I even begin to thank you for something like that?”

There’s another pause before Sayuri figures out she’s expecting an answer. She rewinds the last minute of their conversation and comes up blank.

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” She asks after a moment. Masaki’s expression softens.

“I said, I would very much like to thank you,” she says gently.

“Oh.” Sayuri thinks about that for a moment. There was a time where she would have held on to the favor. It’s what Sousuke would have done, collecting debts and loyalties until--

She shakes her head.

“That’s not necessary.”

It isn’t like those debts had done much good in the end, anyway.

“Then at the very least, come over for lunch,” Masaki implores. “Allow me to do that much. Please.”

Sayuri closes her eyes for a brief moment, focusing on the other woman’s spiritual energy. Even that is a struggle, and the fact that she has to think about it at all...there was a time when she would have scanned it automatically, when the act would have come as naturally as breathing to her.

But then, it is so very hard to concentrate these days.

“I can’t eat,” she says finally, a statement that should have seemed obvious to her in retrospect.

“You leave that to me,” Masaki says, eyes warm. “I’ll figure something out. All I need is for you to come with me.” She extends her hand to Sayuri. “Shall we?”

There was a time when Sayuri would have analyzed every possible meaning and connotation behind such a gesture before accepting. Now, though...now it’s difficult to think, hurts to remember, and Sayuri is oh so tired.

And well, it was just lunch. What could it hurt?

(What could possibly cause her more pain at this point?)

She reaches up and takes Masaki’s hand.

Sayuri, six months later, wearing a Kurosaki family sweater, sitting on the bleachers squished between Masaki and Yuzu at one of Karin’s soccer matches: ...I feel like I’ve been tricked, somehow

(idk I just like the thought of Sayuri getting aggressively adopted into the Kurosaki family. No, she did not have any say in the matter)

#Anonymous #wrote way more for this than i planned haha #but dang i actually...really....like this au?#please leave a comment or send me an ask if you liked it :)#i'd love to know what you guys think #tlm!au #lonely ghost au

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v4xzaki · 2 years ago

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thing idk

Tuesday, October 3rd, 1967

Ive been released. I can finally see my family again. i've waited so long for this. My little girl, my beloved wife. Its been a year since ive seen them.

Wednesday, October 4th, 1967

Today i went home and saw my family. My girl has grown a bit. But my wife has been fishy. I dont think shes hiding anything, though.

Friday, October 6th, 1967.

Though i'd been released, the voices are louder.. i suppose my medication will help.

I feel slightly better. I suppose more of my medication will help.

I' a bit dizzy, i suppose i should take my medication.

Saturday, October 7th, 1967

My girl has taken her first steps today. I felt a sudden chill when she did, i suppose i should take my medication.

Monday, October 9th, 1967

i feel something calling my name almost on a daily basis. He's telling me to do it. i dont know what it means. i suppose i should take my medication.

Tuesday, October 10th, 1967

I went to the basement to grab camping supplies, but as i was down there, i saw it again. I couldve sworn he left me alone... i did what he needed last time. maybe he needs more.

Wednesday, October 11th, 1967

He needs me. i will do it. he needs it, i will give it. lord has said i will get eternal living if i do... i must. i can become a god. i will get so much power. everything i have planned out is for my family.

Friday, October 13th, 1967.

today is it. i shall give my remaining tasks back to lord. i will pay off the debt i owe. he shall give everything i must dream of.

I walk up to My girl. she seems confused. she'll understand. i know she will. she looks at the knife, then at me. she asks "Daddy, what is that? It's shin-" she gets cut off by the blade stabbing her chest, then her head.

i go to my wife. "Vex, did you remember to take your medication this morning?" she asked in a concerned tone. "Yes." i say in a monotone voice, proceeding to slash her all over her body. as she screamed, i knew i was closer and closer to this eternal youth and life.

As i wondered who else would understand my doings, i realized why i havent been able to get it right... the correct candidate is myself. I stare at the knife with a large smile on my face. All this time, it was me. i was the one he needed. As i lift the knife up, the cold fall wind breezes by. its time. Ive waited so long for this. i can be on this planet among these mere beings forever. While pushing the knife into my heart, i feel a sensation i never have. Its amazing. i have been granted all i have ever wanted...

October 14th, 1967

I wake up after laying on the ground for who knows how long... i see blood on my chest. I dont remember anything of last night. i suppose my wish has been granted. I forgot who i used as my candidates, but im sure they understood!

#story #horror

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abbysfrenchbraid · 4 years ago

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Kissed by a Wolf - Chapter 6

Masterlist / Playlist for this angsty mess

Eivor returns from her raid successfully and celebrations are in order. More drunk confessions.

Content Warning for alcohol/food consumption, blood, injury, intoxication

Inspo pic by @anaakeart

A Place in this World

As you left Valka’s hut, you could see people rushing down the hill toward the dock where a small crowd had gathered already. Sigurd and Randvi stood ready to greet Eivor and the other warriors. You arrived just in time to watch Eivor step on solid ground after all the others had already gotten on their way to the longhouse, surrounded by the singing and cheering people who had waited for them all day.

The blonde she-wolf looked exhausted but happy. The sight of her felt like a punch to your gut. She was covered in blood, her beautiful hair was dark and sticking together in thick strands, only her teeth flashing white in the light of the torches as she smiled at the few people left waiting for her.

“Eivor!” Sigmund greeted her, “You were successful!” They shook hands and hugged.

“Did you expect any less?” Eivor taunted him in her deep voice, laughing as he assured her of his confidence in her.

Her eyes brushed over Randvi and a strange expression flickered over her face, vanishing too quickly for you to grasp its meaning. Then her gaze met yours and again, she seemed to be fighting conflicting emotions. At last, she smiled and took a few steps toward you.

“Y/N! All your predictions proved true. You honored us greatly today.” She placed a hand on your shoulder and squeezed as Sigurd and Randvi both turned to look at you.

“Is that so?” Sigurd asked with raised eyebrows. “Then it seems that thanks are in order. We shall prepare a welcoming ritual for you to become a member of the Raven clan, if that is your wish.” He gave you a respectful nod and left for the longhouse. Randvi lingered just a moment longer, looking you and Eivor up and down, then she followed him.

Eivor had moved on to greet Valka and this time her face showed nothing but love and warmth. She hugged the healer tightly and pulled something from her pocket. It was a set of long claws on a string. Valka’s face lit up.

“Bear claws! I thought there were no more bears in these lands.” She took them and held them up to her face, inspecting them closely.

“Oh, I suspect the same,” Eivor said, “maybe this was the last one. The Steward wore it around his neck. It didn’t bring him much luck.” She smirked, not knowing how terrifying she looked, drenched in blood and dirt and smelling like death itself. Valka seemed to notice the same.

“Eivor, I mean no disrespect, but… I think you should wash before attending the feast. For your own good and everyone else’s sanity.”

The warrior looked confused for a second, then she laughed out loud and looked at her hands.

“You’re a wise woman, Valka. I should do that.” Her eyes darted to you for a second, then she nodded and laid a fist on her chest. “I will meet you at the longhouse, then.”

You both looked after her as she walked up to her hut, then Valka gently touched your arm.

“Let us celebrate. There is enough time to worry tomorrow or the day after. I think you’re even well enough to have some ale tonight.” She grinned at you and hooked her arm under yours, then you followed the trail of noise to the feast.

The feast was already in full swing; there was a big fire in the middle of the hall and people were eating and drinking, singing and dancing and praising Eivor's warriors for their victory. You quickly found Sfáva, the old cook who greeted you with great excitement. She gave you both plates with meat and vegetables and handed you two clay jugs, which were quickly filled by a young man responsible for the ale barrels. You sat down together at the front of a long table, right at the foot of Sigurd’s table.

You felt Randvi’s eyes on you again, but you decided to simply not waste any more time worrying about her tonight. While you felt genuinely sorry for the heartbreak she had been through, it was not your fault and should not control your life in the clan. So you raised your jug to Sigmund’s first toast of many that evening and emptied half of it in one go. Valka laughed at you and you both dug into your meal, hungry from the long day of talking and worrying.

A murmur went through the crowd when Eivor finally entered the hall. She was all clean now, her blonde, wet hair shining in the light of the torches, a few fresh braids taming the warrior’s mane. She wore the leather pants and a tunic you had repaired and a grey fur cape was draped over her shoulders to protect her from the cold. Her father’s ax and a longsword hung from a belt around her hips.

Her eyes scanned the crowd and found you, your hand that was holding a spoon stopping mid-air as you froze under her gaze. She seemed to take a deep breath and straighten up before coming toward you. She stopped next to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. Her touch burned your skin through the fabric of your tunic, anger and passion, sadness and excitement fighting a battle in your stomach. You felt your blood rush to your cheeks as you looked up at the blonde towering above you.

“Enjoy your meal, Y/N. You deserve it.” She squeezed your shoulder and winked at Valka before turning around and joining her brother at his table, conveniently sitting just a few feet away from you and facing you directly. You just stared at the tabletop and tried not to choke on your food, downing another jug of ale to get yourself to loosen up.

After a while, Sigurd rose to give another speech, this time with and for Eivor at his side. He had already drunk a considerable amount of mead and was slurring his words ever so slightly, but he managed to stay standing up for the whole speech.

“My dear Ravens, my warriors, and my wolf-kissed drengr ! You have made me proud today, proud to call you my clan! I want to thank each and every one of you who fought bravely today.” He raised his drinking horn to each of the people that had been involved in the raid. “I’m glad that we did not have to give away any of our warriors to Valhalla at Fort Winton. Together, we shall make England tremble!”

He swayed slightly as cheers erupted around the hall and Randvi stood up, supporting him with a hand on his back.

“Let us not forget the people who made this possible,” he continued. “My beautiful wife, Randvi, helped plan this raid and made sure our drengrs were well prepared!” He opened his mouth to continue, but Randvi cut him off.

“I thank you, Sigurd, but it was not only me that made this possible. We have to thank the English girl down there!” She pointed at you. “Her willingness to betray her people and tell us everything about their weaknesses enabled us to slice through them like a knife through butter today. Thank you, Y/N!”

Even though most people around you cheered and clapped for you, you felt nothing but white-hot shame and anger rise inside of you. How could she disgrace you like this, after everything you had done for her? Valka placed her hand on yours and shot you a warning look. Eivor had stayed silent and you could see out of the corner of your eye that her hands were balled up into fists. You risked a look at her and she met your gaze, shaking her head almost unnoticeably and telling you without words how sorry she was for Randvi’s behavior.

As soon as everyone had gone back to eating and talking, Eivor got up from the table, shot Randvi an icy look, and vanished into one of the back rooms. Randvi seemed unnerved, shuffling her feet as she waited for the right moment to get up as well. When one of the warriors came up to Sigurd to ask him something, she excused herself and went after Eivor. You and Valka exchanged a look, then she nodded.

You got up, took your empty jug, and quietly made your way toward the back of the hall. Keeping your head down, you passed a couple that was already half undressed in one of the alcoves and a man sitting on the floor and sleeping upright against the wall, his loud snores muffling your steps. Finally, you heard voices.

“-was the truth! I don’t trust her after she willingly betrayed her people and neither should you!”

“Do not speak to me of betrayal!” Eivor’s voice was cold. “Ever since she arrived here, you have been on a warpath. Can’t you accept that something is not about you for once?”

“Eivor -” Randvi sounded desperate. “I don’t mean any harm, you know that. I just want to protect you. This girl, something is wrong about her. Why did she give up so easily?”

“Because her fucking master made her life a living hell, that is why! Here she finally had a chance to be treated with respect. But it seems you won’t grant her that, you won’t leave her in peace nor will you finally let me go!” Eivor kicked something and it crashed through the room. You pressed yourself into your corner and held your breath.

“Eivor.” Randvi suddenly spoke sweetly, her voice endearing. “Don’t act like you actually want that. We belong together, last night proved that yet again.” Eivor huffed at her words.

“Last night was a grave mistake. I was drunk and you caught me off guard outside. I admit that it felt good for the moment, but as soon as I left I knew I should not have given in. You have to accept my decision.” Eivor sighed. When she continued, she just sounded terribly sad and exhausted. “I do not love you anymore. And I cannot betray Sigurd any longer. Why can’t we part gracefully and accept that our time together has come to an end? Why are you fighting this losing battle?”

There was silence for a moment and you were about to hurry off when you heard a sob. Randvi was crying.

“I can’t, Eivor, I can’t lose you. You are the only person who has ever understood me, who has made me feel complete and made my life worth living. I am no one without you, nothing but an empty shell. I cannot bring myself to let you go. The pain of loving you is tearing me apart, but I still dread the pain of letting you go too much to loosen my grip.”

Your heart dropped at her words. She loved Eivor deeply, and she was acting out of desperation. That was why she had treated you like this. Eivor the Heartbreaker. Randvi’s crying sounded muffled now, maybe Eivor was holding her to soothe her. Then Randvi cleared her throat.

“I will try to treat the English girl fairly from now on. She has no idea what she stumbled into and it is not her fault.” A weight lifted off your chest at her words. “But Eivor, promise me this: do not make any rash decisions and be careful who you trust. Do not hurt me on purpose, I beg you. Give me time and stay by my side through this. I cannot live without you.”

When Eivor next spoke, she was also crying.

“Oh Randvi, what cruel fate have the Gods given us? I wish it was not so, I never wished to cause you any sorrow. I promise I won’t leave you, but I can’t be with you anymore. What happened between us is over and I sincerely hope” - she gasped for air - “that we can continue to be the close friends we always were. I don’t want to lose you either.”

You had heard enough. Slowly, you backed away from the dark room and made your way to Sfáva, thanking her for the great meal and filling up your jug. As you turned toward the open hall, you noticed that Valka was no longer sitting at your table and nowhere to be seen. You had a feeling that she had snuck away with her lover again and smiled into your ale at the thought. Looking up, you saw Randvi sitting down at the table again, her face turned away from Sigurd as she emptied her drinking horn in one swig.

You jumped when Eivor suddenly appeared next to you. Her eyes were glazed and her lashes still wet, but she tried to gave you a brave smile.

“How have you been, little bird?” The sight of her face and the hope in her eyes twisted your stomach and almost made you bend over in pain. You swallowed hard.

“Good. I spent the day with Valka. I’m healing.”

Eivor nodded and stared into her drinking horn.

“I just wanted to say -” she gave you a quick look, then she turned fully toward you. “I am deeply grateful for your help in this. We would have fought much longer and suffered many losses, had you not prepared us for this day. Thank you.”

She reached out a hand for you and then stopped, letting it fall to her side. Following her movement with your eyes, you suddenly noticed a fresh blood stain forming on her hip below her belt, hidden by the handle of the ax. You immediately forgot all your resentment and sorrow and stepped closer, lifting the heavy ax to inspect her side.

“Eivor - are you hurt?”

She gently took the weapon from your hands and let it fall back down, flinching when its weight pulled on the belt and pressed against her wound.

“It’s nothing, sweet Y/N. Just a scratch. The man that caused it paid with his life.” She took a swig of mead and looked around the room.

“They are celebrating my victory, yet I do not feel vindictive at all. Everything feels muted today.”

You were at a loss for words. What could you possibly say that would make her feel better without giving away what you knew? And after all, she had hurt you, too. So you just hummed in approval and shuffled your feet, waiting for her to say something.

The silence between you got longer and more uncomfortable until suddenly a younger member of the clan stumbled drunkenly toward you. Eivor caught him with one hand before he could land in your arms or run you into the ground.

“Get it together, Norvid,” she hissed and gave him a shove toward his friend that had come after him and was laughing loudly.

“Sorry, Eivor. Milady.” The drunk man bowed to you before his friend dragged him away. His words confused you. Milady? Was he mocking you? Was this the result of Randvi’s side blow against you earlier? You sighed and were actually thankful when you spotted Lewin, the butcher from Williamsburg that had taken up work here, too.

You excused yourself with a nod toward Eivor, then you rushed to join your old companion. He was happy to see you and introduced you enthusiastically to his new friends. He told you that Aelfric and Hal were at the stables to check on the horses and get their new dice game. They were going to be back soon.

When they returned, you all dutifully marveled at the board and dice the men had whittled themselves, then Hal explained the rules. After a few rounds, you joined in, too. To the other men’s surprise, you quickly got the hang of it and started beating them in every game. After you had made them get you more ale and stripped them of their coin and a small wooden bird Aelfric had carved today, you willingly backed off and watched the others play.

Even though you did not dare to turn your head toward the back of the hall, you could hear Eivor’s rough baritone a few times, then came her drunk laughter, getting louder as the evening progressed. The sound of it still stung. You wished you could talk to Valka about the conversation you had overheard, but she did not return. Maybe she had gone to bed; you knew she was not really a person for big celebrations.

You had eaten enough to build a base for all the ale you were drinking. Even though you felt a bit lightheaded, you were not even close to drunkenness. Years of drinking hard burned liquor with the other servants at night had built up your tolerance and you and the three others from Williamsburg could not help but laugh at the state some of the Vikings were in. Maybe you could try to make your infamous barley spirit and test its effect on a few selected warriors. Valka probably had the equipment needed for brewing more than just ale.

When you went to fill up your jug, you noticed Eivor talking to Sváfa behind the hearth fire. They were sitting on the bench and speaking Norwegian, a language that still had not opened its doors to you. They both looked up with an expression like you had caught them in the middle of something. You just smiled and shrugged, turning your back to them and asking for a refill from the boy at the barrel.

As you turned back around, Eivor was standing directly in front of you. You could feel her warm breath on your face, smelling of ale and the dried fruit she had been sharing with Sfáva. It made your heart crumble like burned coals. You could almost feel the pieces drop to the bottom of your stomach and disintegrate into fine ashes as you waited for her to speak.

“Little bird.” She was breathing heavily, her cheeks flushed from drinking again. “Can I speak to you in private for a moment?”

You nodded and she took your hand, pulling you with her into an alcove. Her touch sent shockwaves up your arm, fading away in the hollow of your chest where they only found the burned remnants of your heart.

“Y/N, I think I have made it obvious in the time we have had together so far that I have unusually strong feelings toward you. I was unsure of their meaning, but I know now.”

She swayed back and forth and had to lean sideways against the wall to still herself. Her eyes were glossy and almost blank, but a desperate desire was buried deep within them.

“Little bird, I cannot bear the moments in which you are not by my side. You are on my mind no matter what I am doing, even in battle.”

Her hand instinctively moved to the now big and visible bloodstain on her tunic. What was that supposed to mean? You spoke without thinking.

“Did the thought of me distract you from your task? Am I to blame for your wound?”

“Oh, Gods no. No blame lies with you. For anything.” She furrowed her brows, leaning closer.

“You are the reason I’m still standing. You brought me luck and glory today.” Her voice got quiet and she placed a hand on your good cheek. “You were sent to me by the Gods, it is meant to be.”

Before you could even realize what was even happening, her mouth was on yours. You were stunned for a moment, completely encased by her warmth and the softness of her lips. Slowly coming back to your senses, you placed your hands on her chest and gently pushed her away from you.

Her head fell forward and her mouth hung open. When she raised her head, she looked confused.

“Little bird…” she mumbled, holding onto your shoulders to stay upright. “Come to me…”

“Eivor, I can’t do this now. You’re drunk.” Your throat closed up and you were on the verge of crying.

Pull it together. Be strong! You took a deep breath.

“Eivor! We’re going to go back to your hut now and I’m going to help you to bed. Understood?” You gave your best commanding tone and wrapped her arm around your shoulder, supporting her weight with all your strength. “Come on, now.”

You stepped out of the dark alcove and into the hall. Most of the other people were just as drunk as Eivor, stumbling around or already sleeping on the tables. When you looked up to the front table, your eyes met Randvi’s. You could see the silent pain in her eyes. She held your gaze for a moment, then she nodded almost unnoticeably and looked away. Eivor the Heartbreaker .

You made it out of the hall without further distractions and met Lewin outside. He understood immediately and grabbed Eivor’s other arm to support her from the other side. The large woman was already half asleep between you. You steered her toward her hut and opened the door with your foot, then the two of you maneuvered her inside and laid her down on the bed. You thanked Lewin and he left for the longhouse again.

Whispering an apology to Birna, you pulled off Eivor’s boots and the fur that was fastened around her shoulders before covering her with a thin blanket. What now? Should you sleep here, next to Eivor?

You needed some space to think, so you slipped out of the hut again, Birna following you silently and vanishing into the bushes. You sat down on a tree trunk next to the cabin and hugged your knees to your chest, letting your eyes wander over all the wooden houses with their white roofs and the torches lighting the pathways. You could hear the laughter and singing from the longhouse in the distance, but the silence of the snow in the woods behind you was louder. It encased you and carried you away, finally granting you some peace of mind. After a while, the cat came back and jumped into your arms. You held her close.

This day had overwhelmed you with too many new ideas, stories, and possibilities, too much knowledge you did not know how to use. You and Eivor were destined to be together, you knew it and she felt it, too. There would be difficult times, this being one of them, on your path together. Eivor had to let go of Randvi irrevocably and Randvi had to step away from both of you. Eivor needed to figure out what she wanted and learn to express herself without being blackout drunk, to hold herself accountable for her actions, and to fight for what she wanted.

You did not know what exactly the future would bring, but for now, you decided to stay at Eivor’s side. Today more than ever she had shown you how terribly lost she was and how she longed to find and be found. Maybe you could pull her back on the path destined for her. She had given you a new life full of possibilities, it was only fair that you tried to help her find her way, too.

Pressing Birna to your chest, you got up and quietly entered the hut again. You placed your shoes under the bed and took off your coat, then you slipped under the heavy quilt and made space for the cat who curled up against your chest. There was love for you here. You would fight like hell to find it.

#eivor x reader #lady eivor x reader #eivor wolfsmal x reader #eivor wolfkissed x reader #eivor #lady eivor #eivor wolfsmal #female eivor #f!eivor x reader #ac valhalla #assassinscreedvalhalla #assassins creed valhalla #fanfiction #angst

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marchtomydrums · 3 years ago

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Jealousy 11

Alex Cabot X Casey Novak X Reader

*not my picture.*

Alex’s POV:

I make it to the warehouse knowing this is the location. I don't see anyone on the docks so I head to the door. Before I left the penthouse I text Olivia telling her to bring me food. It’s weird I know. However, if Claudia found out someone was following me there was no telling what she'd do. So I left breadcrumbs per se for Olivia to follow. God, I hope she figures it out. Two men are blocking the door, I tell them why I'm here and they walk me in. The warehouse is dark, cold, and wet. I look around to see if I can spot the two of you but I don't see anything.

“Alex, I see you got my note,” Claudia says. I turn around to see her making her way down the stairs.

“Yes, I did. Where are they?” I ask.

“Now. Now. We need to have a chat before that. “ she chuckles.

She makes her way over to me brushing the hair out of my face, her hand coming to cradle my cheek.

Snatching my face back I shout “I'm not fucking around Claudia! Where are they?!”

“I assure you they're fine for now. “

“What does that mean?”

“They will be fine as long as you cooperate. Now when we go into this room, we're going to play a little game. You will play or there will be consequences. Do you understand me?”

I'm still unsure about all of this but I need to make sure the two of you are okay. So I slightly nod my head yes. Claudia leads me up the stairs to a door. She opens it and allows me to enter first and she shuts the door behind me. It's dark, Claudia walks to the middle of the room and pulls the string of the overhead light. My eyes adjust and I see Claudia standing in the middle of the two of you. Both bound to chairs and mouths tapped over. Both moving your chairs to reach for me. I run over but Claudia stops me just short of you. “No Alex we have to play the game,” Claudia said her palm pressing into my chest pushing me backward.

“What game?!” I ask annoyed.

“You remember all those years ago when you said if it came to someone else or Casey you'd always pick Casey?”

“Yes.”

“Well, darling here’s your chance. So we're going to play a nice little game of would you rather. I ask you a question if you don't give me an answer I get to decide. How's that sound?”

“Screw you! Let them go!” I shout.

Claudia calls for the men. They come into the room with a chair and rope. Next thing I know I'm being tied to the chair and I'm in front of the two of you.

“I knew you wouldn't play fair. Nonetheless, let's get started, shall we?” Claudia asked me.

“So Alex would you rather let Casey get the first hit or Y/N?” she asked as her men stood on either side of the two of you ready to do as I say.

I shake my head “neither!”

“Oh, honey. No see that's not how this works. Either you answer or I do.”

Claudia waits for a couple of seconds before she answers for me. “Y/N gets first hit.”

“No!” I scream just in time to see the man's fist connect with your stomach. Tears pouring out of your eyes as he hits you repeatedly.

“Stop! Please stop!” I cry out.

Claudia holds up her hand stopping his assault.

“Next question. Would you rather Casey get hit or Y/N? These hits will be face only so choose wisely.” she asks.

Tears are flowing down my face as I shake my head. “Please. Please. Just hit me. Please.”

“Choose!” Claudia screams.

“I CAN'T!”

“YOU WILL! CHOOSE!”

“CASEY!” I scream. The man beside her starts to wail on her. I can see the tears in her eyes and the blooding falling from her face. I scream begging them to stop. You are kicking and screaming in the chair trying to get to Casey. Finally, Claudia tells him to stop. I see Casey look my way with Swollen eyes.

“I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry.” I tell her.

“Would you rather Casey or Y/N to get cut?”

I look up at Claudia tears in my eyes.

“I’m not playing this game with you anymore! Let them go. Take me! I’m the one you want! I hurt you not them.”

“Oh honey I know that. But see this hurts you and that’s what I want. Now, which one will it be? Hmm?”

I drop my head praying that Olivia shows up soon. I can’t do this I can’t choose. But Claudia chooses for me anyway. I ran out of time when I heard her call your name. I look up to see the man rip you skirt open. He grabs a knife and slices you from you inner thigh down to your knee. You scream through the tape. Blood gushing down your leg, Casey is screaming through her tap. I beg Claudia to stop to end this. Wrong thing for me to say.

“You want to end this?” She asked me. I nod my head yes. She walks away to the other side of the room. She comes back with a gun in hand.

“Okay, this is how this goes. So one of you will be raped by my friend James here while the other two watch. Then we he’s done my other friend over here will kill whomever you didn’t pick. So you’ll be left with one girl who you let get brutally raped and the other will be dead. How’s that sound? “ she says not really asking me.

“So Alex who will it be?”

I look between the two of you. Both looking back at me. Casey and I locked eyes, having a conversation with no words. I don’t want to choose. I look back at you, and tell you I love you. I look back at Claudia who is waiting patiently for my answer.

“Casey gets raped and Y/N dies. “ I say quietly.

“Wow, so even now you choose Casey. This poor girl loves you and yet you’d let her die.” Claudia questions. I say nothing just looking back at Casey. Claudia sees and stops for a minute. Anger crosses her face as she starts to understand.

“Oh, I get it! You don’t want her to be hurt. You two think she’ll suffer less if she’s just killed. Is that what this is? “ she asked. Again no one said anything.

“Hmm, okay. Boys grab the girl. “

“No! I decided.”

“I don’t care what you decided. “

“Please Claudia!! She had nothing to do with this! Please!!” I scream.

The man unties you from the chair and slam you down on the table. Casey and I are screaming has he rips your clothes off. I’m trying everything to get my hands untied. Claudia watches my face the whole time laughing taking joy in our cries. She tells the man to untape your mouth so I can hear you scream. You scream for me, for Casey. It’s all too much. I can’t do this. I drop my head for a split second. The next thing I know the man that was once on top of you is now lying on the ground.

“NYPD! Hands up now!!” Olivia and Elliot scream with their guns drawn. Elliot and Fin go to handcuff Claudia and the other man standing next to Casey. Olivia unties me and goes to untie Casey. I run to you, Casey not far behind me. Your laying on the table sobbing. I lift your body up so Casey can untie your hands.

“I’m so sorry my love. I’m so sorry.” I sob as I hold you tight. Casey is hugging you from behind all three of us crying.

“Did he rape you? “ Casey asked.

“No” you shook your head “but it was close. Too close.” You tell her.

I look between the two of you, hugging and kissing, and I keep telling both of you over and over how sorry I am.

“It’s okay Alex. It’s not your fault.” You tell me.

“Yeah, clearly the bitch is crazy.” Casey says.

Olivia makes her way over to us telling me EMTs are here to check you and Casey out. The two of you walk together to the ambulance. Olivia looks at me and leans in to hug me.

“I’m glad we showed up when we did.” She tells me.

“I’m glad you knew to follow my trail.” I tell her with a small smile.

“Me too.” She says softly.

She walks me over to the EMT’s so I can be checked out as well. Of course we will all have to go to the hospital so they can take pictures, and clean our wounds. Looks like you’ll need some stitches for the cut on your leg. Overall, we’re all okay. And I can’t wait to get back home.

I look at Casey and she walks straight to me and holds me tight. I kiss her head, her cheeks, her lips. She chuckles and goes in to hug me again.

“Casey, I’m sorry I said your name. I’m sorry I played her stupid game. I wanted her to take me. “ I try to tell her.

Casey shakes her head and shushed me.

“Alex, it’s okay. I understand. We had to play the game either way. I know that was hard for you. I would of rather you pick me than y/n for the rape. She knew that. She knew we were protecting her that’s why Claudia was so pissed. She wasn’t mad because you chose for me to live. She was angry that we would rather y/n die than to go through that kind of pain. She realized that it didn’t have to do with me, that’s not why you didn’t pick her all those years ago. She realized how much you love y/n. That you would rather her die than to go through something so horrific.”

“ I didn’t want you to go through that either.” I tell her.

“I know honey I know. But I couldn’t live with myself however long that may of been if I had let them hurt her like that. “

“I couldn’t either.” I lean back in to hug Casey. We hold each other for a few minutes while we cry. I lean back just enough to kiss her one last time. I take a deep breath and let it out.

“Alright. Let’s go check on our girl.” I say with a smile as we head back over to you.

#fiction #lgbtq #law and order x reader #television #wlw #law and order svu #stephanie march #writing #casey novak x reader #diane neal #poly representation

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putflowersinmyhair-callmepretty · 4 years ago

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Dove (Finan x Reader)

A/N: I wanted to challenge myself and writing a short smut seemed about right. Hope you enjoy it, baci baci. Cate. WORDS: 2341 Warnings: Lot of fluff, smut smut smut: oral, dom!Finan, just a lot of love making :)

18+ only please

“For the love of God, Sithric, stay still!” Y/N screamed, turning his head to make him look straight ahead. He was sitting on a block of wood and she was standing behind him, comb and knife in her hands. Traveling with men is never easy but is even worse if the men in question are warriors. Y/N, however, had grown used to them and most of the time she enjoyed her time. An exception being that particular day. While riding in the wild, she had noticed that the warriors’ hairs had grown out of control and kept falling on their eyes, frustrating them; therefore, when they had stopped to rest for the day, she had forced Sithric down on the block of wood, deaf to his protests. He was the one with the wildest hair, thin as feather but dense. It was hard to cut it with the unsharpened blade of her dagger, and, as if that wasn’t enough, Sithric was acting like a child and he could not sit still. “If you don’t stop moving, I swear to God, I will cut your throat. I swear on your gods, even.” she hissed and he laughed chugging a cup of ale “I apologize my Lady” he sang, turning around to send her a wink “I’m positive that the gods would love the bloodshed but I do love my pretty face where it is, right over my neck. Don’t you?” “I will make you the ugliest Dane alive, Sithric. Do not provoke me” she mumbled and cut a big strand of his dark hair, Sithric screamed outraged. Meanwhile Finan was enjoying the view, resting under the shadow of the old oak. Y/N heard him laugh and turned around to shot him an amused look “I wouldn’t laugh if I were you, Irishman. You’re next.” Sithric’s hair turned out good, the left side of his head completely shaven, the right full of long, untangled curls that she had cut irregularly until the middle of his neck. She had also braided a strand between the two section, adding the jewellery she had so often seen on Vikings and he had smiled at her gratefully; she knew how much his culture meant to him and she did want him to honour his people, how he could. She was now cutting his beard, who had grown to long for his fresh features; she did not know exactly his age, but she was sure he looked younger that he really was. “You look very handsome, Sithric” she then said, patting his cheek “Your wife’s a lucky woman” “You know you’re always welcome in our bed, Y/N” She laughed and winked at him “I’ll keep that in mind” “Oy! I’m still here, ye know?!” Finan shouted and stood up; with two long strides, he was behind the woman and wrapped his strong arms around her full hips. He buried his face in her neck and growled, high enough for Sithric to hear “I do not like to share.” Y/N blushed, still not used to this part of Finan. They had been companions and friends for years and Y/N had been in love with him since the first day, suffering for her unreciprocated love. What she did not know was that Finan was just as deeply in love with her. And so they fought and tried to find other lovers, and cried and shouted until their friends, sick and tired of their behaviour, forced them to face each other and their reciprocated feelings. Again, they had screamed and fought as always until Finan had crashed his lips against hers. They had made love then and there for the first time and had finally found each other. They were still discovering each other, but Y/N had soon found out that Finan was a very affectionate man, always touching her as he could, and she loved it. She shivered, when he kissed her softly just under her jaw and she raised a hand to graze her nail through his beard. “Very well” Sithric interrupted their flirting “It’s my cue to go, thanks for the cut Y/N.” “Anytime” she mumbled at short of breath, and she spun in her lover’s arms smiling at his cheeky smirk and he patted her bum, making her squeal embarrassed and sneak out of his embrace.

He tried to catch her again, but she stepped away quickly, laughing. “Behave, Finan. And sit down, let me cut your hair.” Finan’s hair had grown a lot in the last year and she liked how it framed his strong masculine face, softening his features. He was the most handsome man in England, she was sure of it, and the more she fell in love with his personality, the more handsome he became for her and the harder it was for her to refrain to kiss him and touch him and make love to him. She placed herself between his legs, not caring about invading his personal space, wanting to be as close as possible to him. He didn’t seem to mind, though, quite the opposite: he smiled widely, looking up to her, and put his large hands on her waist, squeezing jokingly her flesh. “Hi, dove.” “Hello to you, handsome.” She was watching him with a piercing gaze, chewing hardly her bottom lip and he freed it with his thumb. She smiled sweetly recognizing his hungry gaze. “I really like your hair, I just want it to be neater.” She mumbled and scratched his beard again, drawing a deep animal growl out of his throat “and I certainly like your beard.” “I know that.” He said, squeezing her hips “You like how it feels on your skin” his long fingers caressed her inner tight, over the soft leather of her trousers “Especially here. Don’t you, dove?” “Shut your mouth” she growled with a little smile on her full lips, blush spreading from the neckline of her red vest, which was actually Finan’s vest. “Kiss me than and I shall be quiet.” She rolled her eyes, but she didn’t let him stew for long; she lowered her mouth on his and he immediately opened his lips in a deeper, more intimate kiss. He caressed her tongue with his and she moaned, before capturing his lips between her teeth. “Sweet, Jesus Christ” he mumbled, breaking the kiss just for the time necessary to catch his breath and grip the back of her tights, guiding her to straddle him. With a hand on her back, he pushed her against his groin and she moaned loudly, feeling how hard he had already become. She put her hands around his neck, pushed with her thumbs on his chin to raise his face and kissed him harder, then pulled away abruptly. He pouted and leaned for another kiss but she pushed him away laughing; defeated, he dropped his forehead on her chest “You kill me, woman.” he murmured against her skin, biting lightly her collarbone; she scratched his neck with her nails, under the hem of his green vest and he groaned “Lord, cut my hair. Now.” and here he was, his dominant side finally bursting through his controlled behaviour. She had already met that part of him, which he hid remarkable well on normal days, and she adored it. Not only he looked ferally handsome, but he also made her feel desirable as no one had ever before. Moreover, living as a warrior, the chances letting herself go and be at the complete mercy of another human being were slim to none and Finan helped her discover that she liked to be pushed, now toughly now kindly, to her limits. “Do as I said, Y/N. Ye know I don’t like to wait.” “Yes, my lord.” she obeyed swiftly, standing up and positioning her body once again between his knees. It wasn’t the best way to cut hair, standing in front of him, partly because she wasn’t free to move, partly because his eager gaze made her hands shake. However, she managed to shave the sides of his head and even his beard before dawn. “All done.” she whispered lowly, dropping comb and knife in his open hand. He smiled sweetly, brushing his knuckle on the apple of her cheek “Good girl” he pinched her skin lightly “Ye hungry?” Of you, Finan “Not at all.” “Good, we’re skipping dinner.” Thanks God they hadn’t wear they armour that day; stripping out of all that chain and leather was always hard, boring and ridiculous. Most of the time, they ended laughing, all their energy drained out. But that particular day, they were only wearing their vests and trousers and, as soon as they entered their shared tent, Finan took of his green vest. “Sweet god!” Y/N exclaimed, never used to his magnificent body, and Finan laughed, pulling her against his naked chest “Just me here, dove. Am I not enough?” She run her fingers through the soft hair on his pecs “ ‘M not complaining, am I?” His cold hands dipped under her vest and found her hardened nipple that he twisted harshly making her moan loudly, for the surprise and the pleasure “Seems like ye enjoying it, actually” her vest dropped on the floor and just moments later he lifted her from the ground and dropped her on their bed. It was not the widest nor the softer, but Y/N couldn’t care less, she just wanted Finan. To keep kissing her and to finally push himself inside her. He was in no rush, though, and slowly bit and kissed and licked every inch of her scarred skin “Beautiful creature, ye are. Can’t get enough of ye” he mumbled, removing her trousers. “I don’t want you to” she breathed out and he shot her his sweetest, happiest smile before burying his face between her tight with a low, feral growl. The deep strokes of his tongue on the most intimate part of her body clouded her mind and tighten her stomach; she gripped and pulled his hair, screaming his name when he dipped a finger inside her. At some point, the pleasure became too much, and she closed her eyes ready to reach the peak of her pleasure, but she knew he wouldn’t let her cum so easily. As she expected, he stopped and stood on his knees, watching her with a wide, glistening smirk “Ye a’right there, dove?” She groaned frustrated and found in herself the strength to pull him on his back and crawl over him. He got comfortable on the furs, letting her hungrily strip him out of his trousers. When he was finally naked, she shot him a shy look, asking for permission; he pushed his thumb through her agape full lips and moaned loudly when she swirled her tongue against it, sucking lightly. “Ye want to taste me, dear?” she nodded eagerly “Go for it, then” He was big to the point that her lips painfully stretched around him; it was a sweet pain, though, and she moaned, trying to take him as deeper as possible, to the point that she could not breath anymore. “Oy!” Finan pulled her hair harshly and she found herself face to face with the warrior “Ye have to breath, understood?” She nodded quickly and he gripped her face “Words, Y/N.” “Yes, lord.” He patted her cheek lightly “Good girl. On yer back now, I want to be with ye” he ordered, but didn’t let her time to obey, slapping her bum harshly, making her scream in pleasure, and spinning around, so that she laid where he was before and he stood above her on his knees; she couldn’t even catch her breath before he sunk inside her, slowly. They both moaned and Finan leant down to kiss her deeply, her hand wandering down to his full arse; she dipped her fingers in his flesh and guided him to push deeper inside her, until their body became one. And when the man of her life bit down on the skin of her shoulder, she came with a loud scream of his name and he followed her soon after, murmuring her name in a low pray. They had fallen asleep when the moon was already high in the sky. Finan didn’t sleep for long, though, and soon he found himself wide awake, lost in his thoughts. She was deep in her sleep, mouth slightly open. He watched her until the sun started rising, too scare to touch her, not wanting to wake his beautiful woman, who he knew was a light sleeper. It was what the life of a warrior does to you, it strips you of many things, one being a good night of sleep. Finan had always found it hard, but now that Y/N slept next to him, his nightmare were gone. She had had more trouble than him to adjust to the new situation, but now she slept well too, without screams nor cries. And she slept for long, profoundly, until the sun was up in the sky. He decided to run his finger on every feature of her lovely face, until the caresses woke her up; with a slow fluttering of eyelashes and lazy smile “You all right, Fin?” “Good morning, dove. It’s well past noon.” She slipped closer to him, wrapping her leg around his hips, her hands on his chest, and she closed her eyes again, shivering against the warm of his body “No worries. Did you sleep well?” “I did, but not for long.” “How so?” she murmured against his jaw, curling her lips in a lazy kiss. “Too excited to sleep.” “Why’s that?” “ ‘Cause I can’t wait to marry ye.” She opened her eyes again, now fully awake “Are we getting marry?” He smiled down at her sweetly, completely enamoured “If ye want me, I’d love to wife ye.” “Well, thank you for asking.” she joked, pinching his nipple lightly, then she straddle him with the happiest, widest smile on her red lips “Guess I’ll marry you, Finan the Agile.”

#finan #finan the agile #finan smut #finan x reader #tlk finan #the last kingdom smut #The Last Kingdom #the last kingdom finan #the last kingdom one shot

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spiderling-space · 4 years ago

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I’d like a Halloween request please! Did you know many people believe on Halloween the borders between worlds are at their weakest? Can you please do a ficlet of a Yandere Malleus taking advantage of the border between our worlds being weak on Halloween to drag the MC back to Twisted Wonderland many years after they managed to get back to their homeworld?

I thought it was the door between living and dead but I’ll go with multiverse. Ngl putting my works to AO3 made me want to write longer ficlets but the story will decide the length itself.

Italics indicate thoughts

🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉

Malleus Draconia

Warning: Yandere tendencies, mentions of PTSD and night terror, panic attack

It had been 7 years since (Y/N) managed to escape hell or as it was officially called Twisted Wonderland. It took lots of therapy sessions and support from their loved ones for (Y/N) to feel normal again. It took over a year for them to have a good night’s sleep. Waking up screaming from nightmares was their nightly habit in year 1. It took them 2 years to finally go out just by themselves and 3 years to date someone again.

(Y/N) finally moved on, breaking free of their chains that were called Twisted Wonderland. They had a job, moved out of their parents’ house, spent Friday nights out with their friends, get on Tinder, go on dates and have one night stands. Life was good again…

Today was Halloween night, the night they could wear the weirdest outfit and no one would bat an eye. (Y/N) and their friends went to the party downtown and got drunk. (Y/N) called Uber to get back to their apartment after saying goodbyes to their friends. They locked the door after getting in their home and threw their shoes to the side. After chunking 2 glasses of water, they went to their bedroom.

(Y/N) just wanted to sleep, dreading to remove makeup and wear pjs since it was too effort so they threw themselves to their bed, closing their eyes. Sleep was taking over but there was this crackling sound that was preventing them from sweat dreams. On top of that, a light was coming over to their face. Is it morning already? I just need 5 more hours. (Y/N) put their pillow over their head to ignore the light and the sound and it was working since they stopped. Finally, on to the dreamlands! Their happiness was cut short as they felt something touch their arm, stroking up and down along their bicep. Well dear bug, I'm just gonna ignore you. No sir, I’ll finally sleep. They were so certain that it was just a bug until a hand rested on their cheek. Oh shit! It’s a burglar or killer or a rapist! They couldn’t just lay there and risk getting hurt. He opened their eyes and grabbed the extra pillow on their bed, swinging it to the other person in the room as they got up and put distance between them. But there was something wrong. The pillow didn’t land on the invader at all, in fact, their arm was frozen in mid-air and the invader wasn’t holding them either.

Alarms bells started ringing in their ears, recalling the last time something like this happened. No No No! It’s impossible! Crowley said it was a one-time opportunity! (Y/N) started taking short breaths as their heartbeat quickened. They finally looked at the invader, taking in the figure for the first time. The room was dark but the lights from outside illuminating enough to see the invader’s outline. The figure was tall, as tall as him. They were dreading to look up to the figure’s head, afraid to see horn shape and making them confirm their suspicion but they had to do it.

Their palms started to sweat as finally looked up to the figure’s head. Horns… Their arm that was holding the pillow started to tremble as their mouth felt dry. (Y/N) just wanted to run but their body didn’t move.

“Hello, Child of Man,” His voice caused shivers down their spine. “It has been a while.” Malleus moved to stand right in front of (Y/N). “I missed you.” He placed his hands on each side of their face, connecting their foreheads.

His touch was burning their skin, they just wanted to get away from him. “Don’t touch me!” (Y/N) yelled, feeling helpless as they couldn’t move to push him away. They were feeling nauseous, maybe from being near him or maybe it was the alcohol or they triggered one another. “How did you get here?!”

He ignored their question. “All these years passed yet you still throw tantrums.” He was talking as if they were a toddler. “Don’t worry anymore, you can finally return home.”

“This is my home! Not Twisted Wonderland, certainly not your kingdom!” (Y/N) felt faint but they were trying their best to stay conscious. They were hoping this was just a nightmare, their night terror making a comeback but deep down they knew it was the reality.

“You are not well, Child of Man. Are you perhaps as excited as me to be together again?” (Y/N) didn’t know if he was deliberately ignoring what they were saying or was he so fucked up in the head to not realize that they hated him?

“FUCK YOU!”

Malleus’ expression turned sour and the aura he gave became darker. “That is not how one should speak to their betrothed.” He was tut-tutting them as if they were a kid who did something they shouldn’t have.

“WE ARE NOT ENGAGED! I FUCKING HATE YOU! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!” (Y/N) tried to move their arms once again to push Malleus away but it was a futile attempt.

What (Y/N) had said must have angered him since he furrowed his eyebrows and his hold on their face tightened. “I hoped you would stop acting like a baby after all these years but it seems you’ve never changed. Worry not, Child of Man, since you will learn how to behave once we go back to Valley of Thorns.” He let them go both physically and magically. Their arm dropped to their side. Malleus was rummaging their stuff. “You will not be needing any of these since I’ll provide you anything you need, my love.”

He is distracted, if I can make it to the kitchen, I can get a knife and at least defend myself. When his back was turned, (Y/N) bolted out of the room, “(Y/N), stop.” But something prevented them, making them stop in mid-motion. “Come here.” Involunteeringly, (Y/N)’s body turned to Malleus and walked towards him. Their mind was screaming to get back but their body was moving on its own as if it was on autopilot. (Y/N) stood in front of Malleus. His voice was soft, almost tender as he was stroking their face. “That is enough of your games. We are going home.”

“No!” (Y/N) tried to take control of their body once again which ended with failure.

Malleus turned to look at the body mirror in their bedroom. He extended and twisted his hand, muttering some words as the mirror started glowing. “(Y/N),” he reached out to hold their hand. “Walk with me through the window.”

(Y/N) was helpless as their body did what it was told. Soon after, they landed in Malleus’ castle in Valley of Thorns. All those memories crashed down upon them. All the things that were done to them there flashed through their eyes. They started to panic again and it only got worse as Malleus tried to calm them. When he understood his words won’t work on (Y/N), he used his magic to calm them down. “Finally you have returned home, my love.” Malleus planted a kiss on their lips. “This day shall be celebrated every year as this night brought us back together. I believe you humans call it Halloween. We shall rename it in your honour and celebrate it in the Valley of Thorns.”

(Y/N) knew there was no way to get back to their world now. They would be stuck with Malleus forever or until they died.

All I ever wanted was to have my own life and be with whomever I want. Why can’t I have that?

————————

The reason why saying the name worked

#malleus draconia #diasomnia #prefect #gender neutral reader #yandere malleus draconia #yandere twst #twisted wonderland yandere #yandere #twst malleus #yandere twisted wonderland #ficlet

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noladyme · 4 years ago

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My Only Sunshine - Chapter 7

Liv is as human as they come – faults and all. After a dark experience in her past, she is determined to live life on her own terms, and never let anyone claim her as theirs again. This becomes an issue, when she meets a 1000-yearold vampire, who is dead-set on claiming her as his own.

CHAPTER 6

The first blow to my face, as Thomas tried to wake me up from my drug induced state, was so hard that I immediately came too. He wanted me awake for what he had planned.

“There she is”, he smiled. “This isn’t exactly how I’d imagined this going; but beggars can’t be choosers… Here, look this way…”. He held up his camera, to take a picture of us together. My body felt limp, and my head fell to his shoulder. “Thomas, please…”, I croaked. He snapped the photo, just as I said please; and turned the camera around, so I could see myself on the small screen. “Look, such a pretty smile”. His voice was breathy, as he leaned in to put his lips to my temple.

I tilted my head to avoid the gesture, when Thomas grabbed a hold of my hair to hold me in place. I was shaking from fear, on top of whatever drug he had given me. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be. You know there’s something here”, Thomas said. “No. I don’t want this…”. He struck me across the face, and I felt a trickle of blood run into my eye from my eyebrow. For a moment, Thomas’ expression softened, as if he was surprised by his own action. Then he got on his feet, and began pacing the ground before me.

“You’re a real bitch, you know that?”, he growled. “Here, I’ve been the perfect gentleman, doing the right thing, asking you on dates, and keeping other men away from you; so you’d understand, that you belong to me…”. I used what little strength I had to crawl backwards. In the distance, I saw the back door to the club; almost in a fog. I just had to make it there, get someone’s attention; and I’d be saved. “Help… me!”, I croaked, as loudly as I could.

I felt a sharp pain in my side, as Thomas kicked me in the ribs. “Shut up! Shut the fuck up!”. He kneeled next to me, and hit me again. Blow after blow struck every inch of my body he could reach; as I tried in vain to cover myself. I knew this was it – I was going to get raped, and killed. I couldn’t move; the sobs escaping me were so weak, that I knew I couldn’t even speak, let alone scream. Thomas produced a small knife from his pocket, and began slicing at my meager clothing. As he went to cut up my sequined bra, he cut a gash into my breast, making me groan in pain. “This is all you’re good for, anyway. Lie back and take it. You’re mine…”. He began tugging at his belt, to open it, and forced his knee between my legs.

The was a sudden gush of wind, and Thomas flew across the alley; landing on the ground, out cold. Standing over me, was a young man, with intense and curious eyes. He was pale, and as his lips parted, I saw his fangs. “You…”, I rasped, still unable to speak properly. “He will not harm you anymore”, the man said. “But you are bleeding heavily, and the strikes he has dealt are severe”. “I… don’t want to die”, I whispered. He knelt next to me. “What is your name, woman?”. “Liv…”. A smile ghosted his face. “And so you shall… I can heal you, and make this man leave you alone”. He placed a hand on my cheek. “But I would like something in return”. “What?”, I asked. “I would like to taste your blood… Only a little. Just to remember different days”.

It was beginning to be difficult to breathe, and I knew the vampire – which I now understood he was – was right. “Who are you?”, I asked. “My name is Godric”, he replied. “But once this is over, you will forget it; and meeting me… None the less, I would like your consent”. I swallowed painfully, and tasted blood. “Alright”, I croaked. “Yes… Please just make this stop… make him go away”.

Godric nodded with a smile, and got back on his feet, walking over to where Thomas was laying. He was coming too, as Godric raised him by the neck. “Don’t… You have no idea who the fuck you’re messing with!”, Thomas croaked. “I think I have an idea… But it doesn’t matter”, Godric said, and stared deeply into Thomas’ eyes. “You will leave this woman be. You’ve never met her, and have no wish to go after her. You were never here. Walk away, and forget”. He let go of Thomas, who stumbled backwards – dazed. He turned around, and walked out of the alley.

Coming back to kneel by me, Godric gently put his arm around my back, to lift me into a seated position. The movement was painful beyond belief, and I almost passed out. Bracing myself for more pain, as Godric lowered his head to me, for what I thought was a bite; I was surprised, when he pressed his lips to my chest, sucking from the wound there. His skin was cold, and sent a shiver through my body. He made no sounds as he fed from me; his lips and hands didn’t travel anywhere. He simply drank. After a moment, he lifted his head, and I thought he was about cry, from his expression. “As it was…”, he breathed; before meeting my eyes. “Thank you”. He bit into his wrist, and put it to my lips. I felt the taste of my own blood mixed with something different – something cold and dark, but none the less lifegiving. I closed my eyes, and felt pain leave my body. After a final swallow of his blood, Godric moved his wrist away from my mouth; and I let out an exhausted breath. I could feel myself healing, and getting stronger by the second.

Opening my eyes again, they met Godrics. They were like deep voids into nothingness; and yet piercing at the same time. “You will go home and forget. Burn your clothes. This never happened”. I frowned. “I don’t understand…”. Godric looked confused for a second. “We have never met…”. “But you saved my life!”.

Godric let go of me, and got on his feet in a fluid movement. I got up myself, though with less elegance. “Forget me. Forget what happened!”, he hissed. I shook my head in confusion. Godric clenched his jaw, his expression a mix of fear and intrigue. “You are… It’s not possible!”. “What? What’s wrong?”, I asked. He stepped towards me again, and smiled in wonder. “I cannot glamour you”, he said. Someone laughed in the distance, and I saw that the backdoor to the club was slightly agape. Godric grabbed my arm, and looked intently at me. “Leave this place. Disappear. Do not ever tell anyone what happened here. Will you promise me?”. “Yes… of course”, I croaked. Another gust of wind, and Godric was gone.

Slipping back into the club, I grabbed my belongings; before leaving – never to return.

---

“Miss Sunday…? Liv!”. Erics voice pulled me out of my daze. His hand was on my shoulder, and he was hunched to meet my eyes. “I’m sorry, master”, I said. “You don’t remember, do you…?”. Both Eric and Isabel looked at me intently. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights. “I…”, I croaked. My mind raced. “Eric, I think miss Sunday had one too many drinks back at the suite”, Pam said sharply. Eric gave her a hard look. “Maybe she’d like to get some fresh air…”. “Akta henne”, Eric muttered. He reluctantly let go of my shoulder; and Pam led me towards a large glass door, leading to a large terrasse. The area was empty of people.

“Thanks…”, I said. “Whatever”, Pam muttered. “You looked like you were about to be sick; and I didn’t want that shit near my new pumps”. I looked down at the shoes in question; and internally agreed with her, that that would indeed be a shame. I searched my purse for my cigarettes; thankfully finding both them and a lighter. Putting the cigarette to my lips, I drew in a lung of smoke, hoping it would calm me down. “I can’t tell them I don’t remember…”, I said; looking out over the lights of Dallas. “I can’t lie like that”. “Why not? You’ve been lying about being Erics for days. Lying seems to come naturally to you”. “That’s different”. “Why? Because it’s not a lie?”. She smirked amusedly at me. I took another draw from the smoke. “Because… If I don’t tell the truth, Godric might get executed. And that will hurt Eric”. “And you care about that?”, she asked. I cocked a brow at her. “Are we girlfriends now?”, I smiled challengingly. Pam simply rolled her eyes.

“It won’t matter what you say. Godric is guilty until proven innocent. And one human’s testimony won’t count as evidence enough”. She nabbed my cigarette, and took a draw from it – surprising me. “They’re just putting you on the stand as a matter of process”. “Why is it illegal to feed from a human in dry states? If the human is willing…”, I said. “It’s not illegal to feed, technically. It’s illegal to bite”. Pam handed me back the cigarette. “What?”, I frowned. She shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s a good idea to read up on this shit, before you visit a somewhere new as a vampire… I have a bucket list for states I haven’t fed in yet. So far, I’m missing Illinois, North Dakota, Florida, Idaho and Alaska”. The thought of Pam roadtripping through the states to check of her list, made me quite uncomfortable. “So, you’re telling me that what Godric did wasn’t illegal?”, I asked. “He fed from you…”, Pam said. “But he didn’t bite me”, I retorted. Her eyes narrowed.

“And you remember that, how; exactly?”. Rose’s sudden appearance caught me off guard, and I coughed out a lungful of smoke. Rose nodded towards Pam. “Pamela…”. “Rose…”. Pam looked less than delighted to greet the other vampire. “You’re not fixing to throw our only witness off the roof, to help your grandsire; are you?”. Pam looked out the corner of her eye at me. “Can’t say the thought hasn’t crossed my mind…”. Rose laughed heartily. “I’d have to kill you if you did”, she said, and looked at me. “No, we need this one. I for one, am going to make sure that she stays alive until the end of the trial”. “That makes me feel so much safer”, I grunted; and immediately regretted my words, from the look both vampires gave me.

Eric and Carl joined us on the terrasse; and though I hated his stupid vampire guts at the moment, I was happy to see the Viking. “Is there a problem here, ladies?”, Carl asked. Eric came to stand by me; taking a halfway protective stance in front of me. “Your human is mouthy…”, Rose said. “She forgets her place”. “Which is, of course, on her knees, baring her neck for you”, Carl said. “We know, Rose… Mainstreaming is wrong”. Rose smirked venomously at him. “Well, I see you’ve chosen a side”, she said. “Where is your beloved human, by the way…? Javier, isn’t it?”. Carl didn’t say anything, but I could tell Rose had struck a nerve.

Rose turned to Eric. “And you, Northman? We all know where you stand…”. “I stand on the side of Godric… that’s no secret”, Eric replied. “If you weren’t still attached to him, I dare say you’d be on our side; wouldn’t you…”. It was more a statement, than a question. “I don’t know…”, Eric smiled. “Mainstreaming has treated us well in Area 5”. Pam joined him in smiling. “So, you’re fine with your human being disrespectful to a fellow sheriff?”, Rose sneered.

Eric turned to face me. “Apologize to sheriff Pence”. His eyes were serious, warning me. “Of course, master”, I smiled. “My deepest apologies, sheriff. I’ll remember my place, from now on”. Rose didn’t seem convinced, but none the less nodded at me in response. “You seem different than the humans Northman usually brings to conventions”, she said. “They normally know how to behave, before they arrive”. “She’s new to our ways. Still learning”, Eric said. “I can tell”, Rose said. “Careful, human”. “Yes, sheriff Pence. My deepest regrets”, I smiled, finding it hard to let the gesture reach my eyes. “Leave the poor girl alone, Rose”, Carl said exasperatedly. Rose gave him a cold glare. “I have opening arguments to prepare”, Rose said, and left the terrasse. “Pence… any relation?”, I asked after they left. “Might be. He seems kind of anemic”, Pam smirked.

“Ow! Fuck…”. I shook my hand. The cigarette had burnt down to the butt; and scorched my fingertips in the process. Eric looked angrily at me. “I thought I told you how I feel about you smoking!”. Rage seeped through every pore of me. “I’m so very sorry, master. Please forgive me for my misdeeds!”, I mock-pleaded. Eric towered over me, staring me down. “This is another one of those situations I’m too uncomfortable with to watch”, Pam said. “I second that”, Carl muttered; and the two vampires left us to it.

Eric grabbed my arm. “What was that?”, he asked. “I’m not sure what you mean, master”, I replied quietly. “Why are you behaving like this?”. I looked down. “I apologize, I didn’t mean to offend you. Do you wish to feed? Unless my just smoking has tainted the taste of my blood, of course”. I tilted my neck, to invite him into biting me. “You’re not being yourself”, Eric said. “I am just trying to do the job you expect me to”, I said, an edge to my voice. “If you don’t want to feed from me, maybe you’d prefer to have sex? I’m sure we could find a corner somewhere before the trial…”.

Suddenly, my back was against the wall, and Eric was pinning my wrists down beside me, and pushing his knee in between my thighs. “If I wanted to, I’d have you screaming my name in pleasure within seconds”, he hissed. My breath caught in my throat. “Are you expecting me to go along with that, because you’re paying me?”, I challenged. From his expression, I’d caught him of guard, and he didn’t know how to reply. “Let me go, Sheriff Northman”, I said coldly. He immediately did as I asked, and stepped back.

Erics eyes hit the ground in front of me. “The magister is going to ask you, what happened between you and Godric”, he said. “He didn’t do anything illegal. He never bit me”, I said. “You can’t remember that”. “Yes, I can, goddammit!”, I cried out. “No, you can’t!”, he bellowed. “Godric glamoured you. You have no memory of that night”. I threw up my hands in frustration. “I can help!”. Eric simply shook his head. “Godric doesn’t want you too help. Neither do I”. He began walking towards the door. “That’s bullshit”, I croaked. “You love him… want to keep him alive. Did he command you to ask me to lie?”. Eric looked over his shoulder at me, but didn’t respond. “He did; didn’t he…? Why?”. “To keep you alive… he knows the hurt it would cause, if…”. He didn’t finish. “For whom?”, I croaked. “I don’t matter to anyone here, anyway…”.

I didn’t get a reply. Eric simply walked over to the door, and opened it; gesturing for me to follow him inside.

---

After being told to sit on a chair near the center of the room, I regretted having played dress up with Pam again. Every vampire present looked at me, as if I was a meal just waiting to be had. I was the only one in the room who was sitting, save for the magister; who’d taken his place on a throne-like chair, about ten feet away from me, facing in my direction. All other humans had been sent away, leaving me alone with the vampires. Eric and Pam stood as near to me, as they were able to, without crossing some invisible line, set up by some of the guards surrounding me. Rose had been right; they wanted me alive, at least for the duration of the trial.

Godric was led into the room, with silver chains around his wrists. His face didn’t give away any kind of pain or emotion; but it seemed Eric felt it all on his behalf from his pained expression. Pam gave him a short pat on the arm. When he caught my gaze, Godric smiled softly, and nodded. He was content to face whatever he had coming.

Eric had been truthful about the briefness of vampire trials. Opening arguments on both sides took very few minutes; as if everyone knew that the verdict had already been made. Isabel spoke as best she could about Godrics good deeds as sheriff, and how he had always followed the Authority’s laws, along with human ones, after the great reveal. Rose enthused about how Godric had broken these same laws, by biting a human in a dry state. She was a good politician, I had to admit; as she managed to speak about how important it was to uphold these same human laws, while still making her stance clear on how she felt vampire and human relations should be. I was almost dizzy at the end of both vampires speaking, and realized I hadn’t blinked in a long while; when a tear escaped my eye.

“Thank you, sheriff. Thank you, deputy”, the magister said unenthused. “Miss Sunday… are you feeling too emotional to testify?”. He’d turned his face to look at me, catching me off guard. “No, magister… I just forgot to blink”, I said. The magister laughed overbearingly. “Humans…”, he said, holding out a nonchalant hand. A murmur of laughter went through the room. Eric was tensing up, and once again, Pam put a hand on his arm; seemingly holding him back. “Are you ready to give testimony?”. I swallowed hard. “Can I ask a question first?”, I said. The magister narrowed his eyes at me. “You can try…”. I took a deep breath. “It doesn’t really matter what I say; you’ve already decided sheriff Godric is guilty”. “That’s not a question”, the magister said. “I guess not…”, I muttered. “What will happen, if you find Godric guilty?”.

The magister leaned back in his chair, and turned his cane in his hands. “Godric is old enough to know better. If we find that he’s broken the law, he’ll have to face the consequences”. “True death”, I said. “Yes”. The answer came promptly, and sent shivers down my spine – and not the good kind. I sat up straighter in my chair. “Now I’d like to get to your testimony… If that’s all right with you, of course”. It wouldn’t matter if it wasn’t, I knew; so, I simply nodded.

“A year ago, you were a dancer, at a human nightclub; called Sugar and Spices – is that correct?”. “Sugar and Spice. Yes”, I said. A cold smile ghosted the magisters face. “And on your last evening of that job, you met sheriff Godric”. “I did, yes”. The answer to that question should be safe enough, I figured. “Now, on the picture shown last night – at the event you attended with sheriff Northman – Godric was shown feeding from you”. “Is that a question?”, I said. Eric frowned at me, and I sighed. “Yes… the picture shows, he fed from me”. “Do you remember the picture being taken?”. “No”. That was the truth. I hadn’t been aware.

Rose stepped forwards again. “Magister. Whether or not this human remembers being fed on, doesn’t matter. The picture is proof that it happened. And it happened in a dry state”. The magister nodded. “According to human law, biting is prohibited in California”, he said. “If this picture is indeed not fabricated, Godric put our community in danger, by disobeying that law”. “And where is the proof that it is not?”, Isabel chimed in. “Are you claiming a photo-shop defense, Isabel?”, Rose chuckled.

“Here’s your proof!”. Stan barged through the room, with Thomas in tow. I felt myself shrink in my seat; and looked towards Eric for some kind of support; though I knew he couldn’t give any at the moment. I wasn’t even sure he wanted to. “Who is this, Stan?”, the magister said. “This is Thomas Porter. The photographer who took the picture”, Stan said. “Stan, you can’t bring in another witness all of a sudden!”, Isabel growled. The magister lifted a hand to halt her. “I want to hear this!”.

Stan led Thomas forwards, leaving him to stand next to where I was seated. I felt cold all over. “I was at Sugar and Spice that night; taking pictures for my piece”, Thomas said. “I followed this woman outside, to take a photograph of her winding down after the show. I went a little way off to catch the angle I wanted, when I saw this vampire attack her”. He gestured towards Godric. “That’s bullshit!”, I roared; real tears escaping my eyes now. “You’re sick, you know that?”. Thomas sighed, and smiled softly at me. “I think you’re confused, miss…”. I was shaking in my seat, and looked up at the magister. “That’s not what happened… Thomas Porter attacked me! Godric saved me…”. Godric sighed; a strange gesture from the ancient vampire. “That’s ridiculous!”, Thomas guffawed. “I just took some pictures of you”.

“Order in the court!”, the magister said. “Miss Sunday, whether this man attacked you or not, is for your own human authorities to handle. I’m focused on sheriff Godric’s crimes… Now, Mr. Porter; did this vampire notice you taking his picture?”. “I don’t believe he did…”, Thomas said. “He doesn’t remember! Godric glamoured him”, I said. It was the only viable explanation for Thomas’ forgetting. These vampires didn’t care what he did to me, so he didn’t need to defend his own actions towards me to them. All he knew, was that he had taken photographs of me. That was what he had meant, when he said he hadn’t forgotten about me. “Well, at least he did one thing right; if what you say is in fact what happened”, the magister said. Rose shook her head frustratedly. “Magister, please!”, she said. “No matter what passed between these humans, fact still remains. Godric bit, and fed on this woman! He cannot be chosen for another term as sheriff; and more importantly, he must be punished!”. “Miss Sunday just told you…”, Isabel began. “Godric glamoured her, obviously”, Rose said. “Made her believe another human had attacked her, and not him”.

The magister looked towards Godric. “Is this true? Did you glamour this woman?”. Godric looked at me solemnly. “I used my glamour on her, yes…”, he said; not lying. He had tried. “See? He even admits it!”, Rose said gleefully. “He is guilty!”. The magister nodded. “It seems he is”. A murmur arose, as vampires on both sides either rejoiced over Godric’s presumed guilt, or wanted to find a different explanation.

Not one of the vampires in the room cared about what had happened to me that night. Even though I’d told them, what Thomas did to me, and that Godric had saved me, it wouldn’t make a difference to his sentence. But lying about remembering; standing by, as someone claimed that Godric had broken the law, which would get him executed – I couldn’t do that. Even if it was because he’d wanted my blood, he had saved me.

“Godric fed from me, from a wound on my chest. He didn’t bite me”, I said, breaking through the sounds of the muttering crowd. The room went silent again. I looked around the room; and saw that all eyes were on me. “He didn’t break the law…”. “He glamoured you to forget, my dear”, the magister said. “No… No, he didn’t…”, I said. Eric shook his head at me; willing me with his eyes not to go further. “How would you know?”. I took a deep breath, and braced myself. “I-i… can’t be glamoured”. The magisters eyes widened, and he got up to stand. “Sheriff Northman, is this true?”, he demanded. “Sheriff Northman didn’t know”, I said, lying through my teeth for the first time during my testimony. Eric parted his lips, and I saw his chest heave from a silent gasp.

The magister walked towards me slowly. “You have witnessed the entire sheriffs’ convention, including this trial; without anyone succeeding in glamouring you?”. “Yes”, I whispered. In the blink of an eye, the magister was stood in front of me, having raised me to my feet by my shoulders. He looked deeply into my eyes, showing me the void in them I’d seen in other vampires when they tried to glamour me. He willed me to listen, and obey. “Miss Sunday… Liv. Let me feed on you…”. “No…”, I said quietly. He frowned deeply. “You’re going to tilt your head now, and let me feed on you!”. My heart was racing, and I was sure – for the second time in my life – that I was about to die; but I couldn’t give in to fear. “I’m not doing that”.

The magister stared at me for a long moment, before stepping back from me. “It seems the most reliable witness to this supposed crime, is in fact this young woman. She cannot be glamoured, and doesn’t win anything from protecting sheriff Godric”. He went back to sit on his chair. I let out a sigh of relief; unsure what I relieved about, really. I’d reacted too soon. “This is bullshit! Can’t be glamoured? You can’t take her word for it…”, Stan roared. “I’m not taking her word for it. I just tried glamouring her myself”, the magister said calmly. Stan exposed his fangs. “Put those away, Stanley”. “Fuck that!”, the cowboy-vampire snarled.

In an instant, Stan was on me; having thrown me to the floor. I was too shocked to scream, and wouldn’t have been able to, even if I wasn’t; because Stan was squeezing my throat with his large hand. Eric pounced at Stan, and struck him hard in the head. Stan let go of me, and the two of them got in to a full-blown fight. I was shaking, and tried to pull myself away from the tussling vampires. The SWAT-vampires pulled the two of them apart.

“Sheriff Northman, remove this human from the room”, the magister yelled. “Do not let her out of your sight until you are told otherwise”. Eric was next to me within an instant; and more or less carried me out of the room, tucked into his side. Pam gave all the surrounding vampires a wary look, as she walked next to us; ready for a fight. One of the bystanders took a step forward, and Eric bared his fangs at him.

Once we were in the elevator, my knees gave in; and I blacked out.

---

My eyes flickered open, and I found myself in my bed in the suite. Eric was seated at the foot of the bed, with his back to me. “What happened?”, I asked. “You passed out in my arms”, he said, not turning around. “How long was I out?”. “A few hours”, he replied. “Javier has been watching you, while Pam and I attended the sentencing”. “Godric?”, I breathed. “They’re letting him go, on the condition that he doesn’t run for another term”. He got on his feet, while I sat up; and went to sit next to me. “I want to thank you, for what you did… Even if I did ask you to stay out of it”, he said. “You saved Godric’s life. It means more to me, than you can imagine”. I didn’t know how to reply. Saying you’re welcome didn’t really cover what I was feeling about the situation. “Stan?”, I asked quietly. “He’s been sent away, after the scene he made at the trial. He took the human, Thomas, with him”. He snarled the name. “It seems he was using him to take down Godric”.

Eric took my hand, and met my eyes warily. “Why did you tell the magister that I didn’t know?”, he asked. “What good would that have done? They’d have just punished you; and it wasn’t a fact that made any difference to Godric’s situation… or mine, for that matter”. I sighed heavily. “So, what happens now? Am I gonna be the magisters midnight snack?”, I asked. “No… You’ll be watched, to make sure you don’t speak of what you’ve heard or seen these last few nights…”. “But I wouldn’t do that”, I exclaimed. “I’m not suicidal!”. A smile ghosted Erics otherwise serious face. “You could have fooled me, sunshine”, he said. “One thing came from you lying about me knowing… They are punishing me… for being stupid enough to bring someone like you to the conference”. I felt my heart drop. “I’m so sorry, Eric…”, I sighed. He shook his head in response, and intertwined his fingers with mine. “My punishment is that I’m to keep an eye on you, make sure you don’t talk”. There was a warmth to his gaze, suddenly. “They’ll want monthly reports on your… situation”. “So, I’m a situation, now…”, I muttered.

I crawled of the bed, and got on my feet; but my knees gave, and Eric caught me against his chest. I was finding it hard not to savor being in his arms again. After a moment of us just standing there, he finally spoke. “What I said… it hurt you. And I'm sorry”, he said. They were strange words coming from his mouth, and I tried not to let them get to me; unsure if I could trust what I was hearing. “You were right… I knew what I was getting myself in to, taking this job… Hadn’t planned on the sex and blood-drinking part; but I should have known…”. Eric stroked my temple with his thumb. “Is that all it was? A job?”. I pulled away from him, and began walking towards the door; my legs not failing me this time. “I thought it wasn’t… But that’s what you said yourself.”, I muttered.

“I was jealous”. I spun around, my jaw dropping. Eric’s expression was earnest, and his arms hung by his side, making him look almost vulnerable. “Excuse me?”, I said. “You don’t get jealous about humans, remember?”. “I do about you". He hunched over a bit, looking at me intently. “You have men and vampires alike wanting you. And even though you’re not mine… or maybe because of that… let’s just say it rubs me the wrong way”. “Bill and Sam are my friends; my good friends… You can’t be jealous of every man that comes within 10 feet of me”, I said. “I’m jealous of the women, too”, he said with a slight smile; taking a few slow but confident steps towards me. “I still want you to be mine”. “Eric…”. I shook my head defeatedly. “You’re right. What you said hurt me. You hurt me… You can’t just feed me your blood to take that pain away”.

His face dropped from mischievous to somber, and he stopped in his tracks; stepping back to give me space. “I understand… I’ll let you rest, before the flight home”. There was clear pain in his voice. “What about your meeting with the Authority, before the sheriffs’ announcements?”, I asked. “Humans don’t take part in that”, he replied. “Your job at this conference is mostly over. I’ll see you home safe; and then you won’t have to see me again”. It was agony to hear him say that. “But… you’ll be watching”, I said. “You don’t want me there… and I trust you to keep quiet. I’ll make the reports without bothering you anymore”.

He walked towards the door out to the hallway. “Eric…?”, I said. He stopped in his tracks, and spun around to look at me. There was something hopeful in his eyes, and I almost felt guilty for continuing down a different path of conversation, than he seemed to have wanted. “What about Thomas? Will he…?”. “I’ll handle him. Make sure he doesn’t bother you again”, Eric said. “Godric commanded me to not kill him, but there are other ways. I’ll make sure you’re safe”. I looked down at the floor and nodded. “Thank you”. He nodded, and left the room.

I got out of the uncomfortable clothes Pam had Gingered me up in, and packed my suitcase; so that I’d be ready for when the limo would take us back to the airport. Feeling strangely jetlagged from having been on vampire-time the last few days, I couldn’t sleep; and decided to take a long, hot shower to calm myself down. Once I was once again dressed – in jeans and a tank top, not feeling comfortable using the clothes I’d bought with Erics card anymore – I grabbed a sandwich from the mini-fridge, and ate it whole; while curled up on one of the couches.

There was a knock on the door, and I looked out the peep-hole; surprised to see Godric standing there, alone. I opened the door, and stepped aside. “Eric isn’t here, but you’re welcome to come in and wait”, I said. “Would you like some TruBlood?”. The vampire smiled almost wonderingly at me. “No. Thank you. I came to see you; before you leave”.

Gesturing for him to sit on one couch, I went to sit on the other. “You risked your life for me. Thank you; but it was unwise of you”. “Lack of self-preservation on both our parts, I suppose”, I said. “They would have executed you”. “I was ready to face my end… It was an honorable cause, to keep you alive”. It was like a bucket of cold water in my face. “Don’t…”, I croaked. “I don’t want that burden on me. Why is my life more valuable than yours?”. “I’m not alive”, Godric smiled. I didn’t have a response to that.

We sat for a moment in silence. “I’m sorry you can’t be sheriff anymore…”, I said. “I’m not”, he said. “70 years is more than enough time on the sheriff’s post. I know very few with the stamina to hold the title for that long”. “It’s a powerful position”, I shrugged. “Power corrupts…”. Godric looked saddened all of a sudden. “You think Eric…”, I began. “Eric was born to power. He was the son of a king, before I took his human life. Power corrupted him in the womb”. My jaw dropped. “Oh… I didn’t know”. Godric must have been worried I’d think ill of him, because suddenly, he felt a desire to explain himself. “He was half-way dead, when we met. Had I not turned him; he would have died in agony”. “No, I meant, I didn’t know he was the son of a king”, I smiled. “I know you wouldn’t have killed him, just to turn him”. Godric tilted his head, and smiled. “How do you know that?”, he asked. “You just don’t seem like that kind of man… vampire”, I said. “And, you saved me… Even if you did only do it to taste my blood; you could have taken it against my will. But you didn’t want to”. He smiled, and shook his head in agreement.

I thought for a moment, on how to phrase my next question. “If you think Eric was corrupted from the beginning, why did you make him?”. Godric smiled softly, and seemed to slip back in a far away memory. “When I met him, I was lonely; closer to dead than alive in my heart. Eric had such fire in him, and reminded me that there was more to my existing than survival. There was companionship, joy… love for another being – in our case the love of family. Father, brother, son…”. “And the corruption?”. I was about to repeat the question, worried Godric hadn’t heard me due to his long pause; when he locked eyes with me again. “I know my child better than anyone, but one thing that will always amaze me, is how he manages to love with all his heart, as if it is not cold and hard as stone”.

I played with the tassel at the corner of one of the throw pillows. “You are… fidgeting”, Godric said. I stifled a smile. “Yeah, sorry… I know how your family hates that”. The vampire grinned. “No… It’s very human of you. That constant need for movement”. “Eric says it’s irritating”, I shrugged. “Eric is emotionally immature”, Godric retorted, raising a brow at me. “He doesn’t necessarily know the difference between irritation and infatuation”. I shook my head with a smile. “I don’t think you’ve read him correctly… I’m just a human”, I said. “Yes. Just a human”, Godric nodded. “To Eric, your humanity represents life itself; and the one thing he loves more than anything, is life”. I felt myself flush red.

The door to the hallway opened, and Eric stepped inside. I got up to stand by the window; almost as a reflex. Eric avoided my eyes, as much as I avoided his; whereas Godric seemed amused to be looking between the two of us. My soon-to-be ex-boss sat down in the spot I’d formerly occupied. “Isabel was made sheriff of Area 9”, he said. “The authority made a good choice. She will handle the position well”, Godric said contently. “What will you do now?”, Eric asked warily. “I haven’t decided…”, Godric replied.

Eric leaned forwards enthusiastically. “Come with us to Shreveport! There is a home for you with me”. “I think it’s best if I leave America for a while…”. The tall Viking suddenly looked like a small child, and I had to will myself to stay where I was; in stead of running over to embrace him comfortingly. “When will I see you again?”, he asked quietly. Godric smiled lovingly at his child. “I will come see you before I leave… both of you”. “Pam will be glad for the opportunity to say goodbye”, Eric muttered; making Godric laugh heartily. “Pamela only cares about me, because she cares about you…”, he said. “She wasn’t who I was speaking of”. His eyes travelled towards me; and I wanted to go hide under a rock. “Liv is going back to Bon Temps. I’ll be making monthly reports on her cooperation to the Authority; but we won’t be working together again”. Eric was very matter-of-factly in his tone. “Is that so?”, Godric said.

I cleared my throat uncomfortably. “We have a flight in about 5 hours. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to try to get some sleep”. Eric tentatively met my eyes, and nodded. “Of course. Pam and I will be at rest before you wake. Please make sure they load the right coffins into the car. Others will be leaving at the same time”. “I got it”. I looked towards Godric. “I’m glad that we met again, in spite of everything”. “As am I”, he said. “Take care of yourself, Godric”, I smiled, receiving a warm wondering smile in return.

Eric got up, and followed me over to the door of my room. “I said I’d remove those”, he said, and looked down at my neck. “Right…”, I said; and looked on, as he extracted his fangs, and pricked a hole in his finger. I met Erics eyes again, letting myself disappear into the vast blueness of them, as he gently stroked his fingertip over the fang-marks on my neck; and let his thumb brush against my jaw. “Sleep tight, sunshine”, he whispered.

I went into my room, and looked at Eric one last time; a pang of heartache streaming through me, as our eyes locked, before I closed the door.

---

I slept during the whole flight back to Louisiana. The sun was still up when we landed in Shreveport; so, I got in my old beat-up car – which was still parked by the airport – and followed the sedan taking the travel coffins to Fangtasia; where Ginger let me and the driver in to the bar. He and the carrier left the coffins in the back office; and after Ginger had finished flirting with them, they left.

“I can take it from here, sweetie”, Ginger said; startling me, as I stood in my own thoughts, looking at Erics coffin. “Great… that’s great”, I said. I lingered for a moment, letting my fingertips trace the smooth surface of the coffin-lid. “Are you alright?”, Ginger asked. “Yeah, just a bit jet-lagged, I guess”. “I know the feeling. I hardly ever see the sun these days. Makes it easier to work here, you know? Keep up with vamp-time”. I nodded with a slight smile. “I’m gonna take off”. “Do you need me to tell them anything?”, she said. “No… Just tell Pam that her Louboutins are in the small suitcase”, I sighed.

I left the office and made my way through the empty bar towards the exit. “And Eric?”. Ginger had followed me out. I thought for a moment. Thank you for the mind-blowing sex. Thank you for trying to protect me against a man that hurt me. Thank you for making me feel beautiful and special. Thank you for wanting me – I want you too, more than I can say. “Tell him… thanks for the opportunity”, I said, and hurried out of the door.

When I woke the next morning, I had received an envelope in my mailbox; without stamp or address. Inside was a check for 10.000 dollars, and a note. - Didn’t want to insult you by leaving a tip. You’re welcome for the opportunity. Thank you for your services – E I sat for a long while, just staring at the two pieces of paper. This is what my experience had boiled down to; as it should. Payment and a civil communication of gratitude. I should have been happy, and content to move on; but inside, I was screaming with frustration over how we had ended things. Everything seemed unfinished.

#eric northman #eric northman fic #eric northman x oc #eric northman smut #true blood

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