#so i made it six years instead

[fa3tality]

wow it's been awhile

anyway

[gnomewithalaptop]

Damn, I really thought I was about to make some crazy observation here and connect the dots that Hercules was the one who gave Cassie the costume she ends up using for her Titans of Tomorrow Evil Arc, but alas, DC in 2007 was simply not on my level

[slverblood]

Not to mention — Kettle is a fantastic character who does love his daughter, but there's this undercurrent of disrespect toward her as well. He loves his daughter, but does he respect that she is her own person outside of that role? He places the entrance to the Gauntlet in her very burial chamber. He uses a mural depicting her entombment as part of the key. He bought Marcus' allegiance with wings hacked off her beloved, and he sent him to kidnap her using those wings. He infects her with the tadpole and robs her of free will so she will betray her beliefs (she, who is a cleric) and stay at his side. He also frames her love of Aylin as Aylin stealing her from him.

[depressedtheatrekiddo]

WHO THE FUCK DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PUT MY FINALS THE WEEK THAT COMES AFTER ARCANE ACT 3 COMES OUT 😭😭😭😭😭

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I have such an important interview tomorrow and instead of trying to prepare, I'm obsessing over She Kills Monsters. Like a responsible person.

[guesswhosaninja]

do you ever hear the phrase "I was so scared of wasting a day that I nearly wasted my life" and have it haunt you for a month

there are so many times I've felt like I simply lost years, and you'll finally do something and realize you spent six months saying "I should do that soon" without doing anything or "I should get back to that" each day for months on end

[mythicandco]

thinking abt the blorbos but they aren’t even rotating. they’re just sitting there and it’s very intense

[pocketramblr]

LU crack theory: Everyone is secretly or unknowingly of at least high noble status. Hyrule is one of the princes of Calatia. Legend is Zelda's brother. Ravio mirrors this. Sky was already crowned king. Time is his Zelda's cousin. Malon is a descendant of the last Gerudo king. Wind's heirloom shield is a symbol of the noble house he comes from. Wild became Zelda's bodiguard partly because he was from a noble family. Similar for Wars. Russl got Twi from the castle. Dunno about Four.

Four's paternal grandfather may be a common blacksmith, but his maternal grandfather is Gregal the Great, a nobleman of the wind tribe who's family once resided in the Palace of Winds before monsters, then Vaati, overtook it

[rebelscaped]

kim jaejoong. nonbinary. he/him. bisexual. ⇝ hey, isn’t that kael kang ( nickname: imugi )? i think that the thirty-one year old from london, england works as the bassist for vain rogues and the ghost orchestra, the tail gunner for the bastards & recpetionist at wrench it (ex-mercenary for the scarlet nightmare), but outside of that people describe them as bruised skin, scraped knuckles and bleeding lips; super distressed denim and torn fabric held together with paperclips and chains; blurred and dazed city lights; chipped black nail polish and smudged eyeliner . i hear they are irritable & standoffish, but they are also known to be dedicated & unconventional. consider giving them a visit at their home in the kingpin trailer park and get to know why they’re called the rebel.

IMPORTANT LINKS: stats. pinterest.

TW:

NOTE: please do not refer to kael as a man! most other masculine terms are okay & he does refer to himself as hana's father/dad. kael himself doesn't really care if he's referred to as a man but he isn't one so please keep this in mind! he's nonbinary with a sort of neutral/androgynous presentation that just happens to lean a little more masc.

BASICS.

Although he doesn't go by it very often at all, Kael's Korean name is Kang Hyunjin. (btw any similarity to a certain kpop idol's name, even the fact the surname reminds, is pure coincidence asdfgh I settled on this as Kael's name not long after I first made him in 2014)

Despite working as tail gunner for the Bastards, Kael isn't actually that passionate about vehicles in general; he does the work because he's good at it and he likes taking shit apart to see how they work. He does like motorbikes specifically and knows quite a lot about them but he has no interest in cars.

Kael has ADHD. Due to his upbringing, this was never diagnosed and it remains unmedicated. He also has pretty severe anxiety and PTSD as a result of his history. These are, again, undiagnosed. He suffers from regular nightmares and has experienced his fair share of panic attacks. He's also had his struggles with depression over the years and deals with a lot survivor's guilt after his best friend's sacrificial death. (note: i don't personally have adhd or ptsd but please trust I've done a lot of research on these things! c': also, i'm autistic & adhd definitely runs in my family so pls know if would never deliberately misrepresent any neurodivergence!)

In general, Kael's health probably leaves a lot to be desired. He smokes, he doesn't sleep properly, he doesn't eat right; overall he doesn't really do much to look out for himself. The only thing that's really improved since Hana came into his care is that he's less inclined to do things that might get him killed. Sort of. He is still a Bastard.

He has a way of coming off very aloof and standoffish and is often written off a nastier person than he actually is. The truth is that he just has a lot of walls built up, as truth does NOT come easily to him, and he has a pretty sarcastic sense of humour. Also, he has kind of a short fuse but this is usually directed towards pretty trivial upsets and, honestly, it's hard to describe him as aggressive. He can be a little volatile but it's more of a quirk than an out-and-out problem. Once you get to know him better, you'll probably figure out that he just has a lot of trust issues AND more energy than he knows what to do with. It explains a lot.

Kael is not just in a punk band for the aesthetics; although his fashion sense is largely just punk-inspired without really fully committing (although he does absolutely dress like he should be in a band), his outlook on life is punk in itself. He's extremely anti-establishment and is very open about his distaste of the rich and powerful; he has been known to use posh as an insult (please know he's not going to dislike someone on a personal level just for being rich, although if someone wealthy does befriend him then there is a good chance he'll make fun of them for it). Ultimately, Kael's politics are driven by empathy and a respect for other humans. Despite his cold and distant exterior, Kael does genuinely care about people.

Kael has a distinct London accent, leaning more towards the East End. It's not especially strong or thick but it's still very much a London accent. (And I mean that it's not especially strong by London standards; he still sounds extremely English.) He's fluent in English and Korean, and conversational in Japanese.

He loves spicy food. Like, really loves it. And he has a high tolerance for it. It's not a problem, even when it makes his eyes water and his nose run. He also has a high tolerance for alcohol. And he's really not afraid of heights. Or danger. It all makes for a pretty reckless person. He is scared of bugs though, ESPECIALLY spiders. And he has very mixed feelings about horses (he doesn't think they should be that big; don't ask).

Kael has a bunch of piercings, mostly ear piercings. He has several in each year and one navel piercing. He has no interest in getting any more. He also has some tattoos, five in total. He hasn't added any for a good few years but he's not against getting more. They're all black ink tattoos without colour and any further tattoos would be in the same vein. Specific locations are; right below his collarbone, his left wrist, above his right hipbone (but below his ribs), between his shoulder blades and down his spine.

THE SCARLET NIGHTMARE

For Kael, life under the Scarlet Nightmare had been all-encompassing. Even at his most subservient, he had a strong need to cling to a sense of personal identity and this meant distancing himself as much as he could from the sorry bastard whose DNA he shared. He's very aware of his status as a clone and has deliberately tried to block out any memories that aren't his own.

Growing up in the facility he'd been sort of a loner, a quiet kid with a knack for getting into fights he never started, but there was one kid just a year older than him who reached out and stuck up for him; he'd always be there to pull Kael up off the cold hard floor of the facility dorm rooms after a fight, always there to help patch up his cuts and scrapes. He'd help Kael lift chin up high any times he started to doubt his place in the world and his role in the Scarlet Nightmare system. They were best friends, inseparable and as close as brothers.

This friend was everything Kael was not. He was bright and open and friendly. He was good at following orders and never felt any urge to bite the hand that fed him and he didn't seem to piss the other kids off the way Kael always did.

Eventually, it was decided that his friend would train to become a Hitman and, shortly after, Kael was assigned the role of Mercenary so, as luck would have it, they were paired together. It was a partnership that would require deep trust and the pair had already demonstrated how well they could work together. They made a perfectly devastating team.

Yet, as time stretched on, Kael's doubts only grew; although this was the only life had ever known, he could feel himself breaking under the weight of it, under the impossible-to-bury guilt of what he'd done. He could have sworn the stench of death clung to him. And, so, he wondered, was he really alive if he was only born to kill? The partnership between the Hitman and Mercenary was beginning to show cracks and, after enough missions had gone awry due to Kael's dwindling confidence, the Mercenary was deemed a liability. Something to be rid of.

The Shadow assigned to take him out failed. They had aimed perfectly, hit their intended target, but they had failed to even touch Kael. Despite his desperate attempts to defend Kael to their handlers and to help Kael pull himself together, his partner had sensed this moment might come. He'd seen the faintest hint of movement in the distance and thrown himself in front of Kael without a moment's hesitation, driving away the spooked Shadow. The bullet pierced his throat and he died, choking on his own blood in Kael's arms.

Kael's world shattered and he lived in a haze for the next while; all those strong feelings of doubt and rebellion had been numbed, and he returned to the Scarlet Nightmare as normal. After he'd switched off his emotions, he was able to return to his previous heights and the higher-ups lost interest in him. But he'd grown clumsy too. He suffered a near-fatal injury during a mission and was put on bed rest. A week of good rest and some time to himself where he could just think was all it took for Kael to come back for himself. There was no other choice. He needed to escape the Scarlet Nightmare, even if it put a target on his back for the rest of his life.

THE REAL WORLD

The transition to normal life was not easy for Kael. No longer having an outlet for his excess energy and recklessness, he did stupid things, illegal things. He got into fights. Almost got arrested a few times. He the first year in particular isolating himself but, as time passed, he was able to find a shitty job and a shitty apartment to live in, even make a few friends. The nightmares never faded. He'd wake in the night, drenched in a cold sweat and haunted by all the awful things he'd done in the name of following orders.

Despite everything, he was able to rekindle a once discouraged love of music. The piano and the guitar were borrowed talents, something the original Kael must have nurtured but he was so enamoured with it that he taught himself more. Learned to play the bass as well. He started writing his own music as an emotional release and began to work the streets as a busker, armed with nothing but a guitar and his voice. At some point along the way, he wound up the bassist for the band, Vain Rogues and the Ghost Orchestra, with whom he'd travel from place to place.

Eventually, he'd meet someone in Busan, South Korea. It had started as a one night stand. By this point, Kael was more than used to these encounters. He'd found a casual comfort in the intimacy of sex with strangers. It wasn't supposed to matter. Except that, this time, it did. They were different. Hyeong Eunji was different. The infatuation brought him back to her again and again, and before long it had changed shape and grown into love instead. He decided to put the band aside for a while, settling in Seoul while he figured himself out and, although he was reluctant to admit it, because he didn't want to leave Eunji behind, even if she always kept him just at arm's length.

Eventually, Eunji leaves. The only notice he receives of this is a letter and a child, Eunji's beloved daughter, Hana. The letter reveals to him the truth that Hana is also his child and that Eunji has left her safety in his hands.He'd known Hana from before and been fond of her but he'd always assumed she was the daughter of some other man. He'd never questioned it. It had never mattered. But it mattered now. All of a sudden, Kael was a father. And he was going to do everything is power to keep his daughter safe while Eunji was on the run.

The fear of being found by Eunji's gang sent Kael back to London for a short time. Hana would begin to attend school there and she picked up on English quickly with Kael's help. Although he didn't have a lot of money and he didn't feel like a particularly good father, Kael loved Hana. Her presence filled a deep void in his life and washed away the loneliness. He still woke up terrified in the night but sometimes she'd appear by his bedside and try to comfort him in the same way he would when she had bad dreams. Soon they would move across the world once more; when Cyrek calls him in for a favour, Kael ups and moves to Anchorage, Alaska with Hana in tow.

ANCHORAGE, ALASKA

Nowadays, Kael lives in a caravan with Hana. He's probably not the most well-equipped father in the world but he's a good and loving father who tries his best to do well by his daughter. He has rejoined the band, taking up the mantle of bassist once more, but that was not what brought him to Anchorage. He'd come all this way to fill a role in the biker gang, the Bastards, where he now works as the Tail Gunner. He's pretty broke, with most of what money he does receive going straight to Hana's care, but he's scraping by and, if nothing else, he's free. The nightmares and the need to keep looking over his shoulder don't sting so bad when you're surrounded by allies.

Kael moved to the town just before the murder of Willow Cho-Iverson and, thanks to the Bastards' implication in that incident, he has not known a day's peace since getting here.

[stylishanachronism]

Making tahdig making tahdig ~!

[deadtime-stories]

[thesearchforbluejello]

Overshare probably, but when I was a kid, I always assumed I'd have common sense when I was older.

Protein powder has disastrous effects on my digestive system; coffee has moderately less disastrous effects, but still substantial.

What was my bright idea this morning that was shockingly lacking in that common sense I'd assume I'd have by now? I made a protein shake with two shots of espresso in it.

This is having an effect somewhat like I imagine drinking napalm would have.

[rainysaturdayafternoon]

it’s half midnight and I haven’t done shit

[tardis--dreams]

I talked to my professor yesterday and I have some thoughts but it's too exhausting to rant rn. But there will be. Ranting.

[crystaltoa]

And now for something completely different.

This is the ADHD Teapot. I made it in a ceramics class a few years ago. I use it to explain executive dysfunction to people who haven’t come across the term before (and those who think of ADHD mostly as Hyperactive Eight Year Old Boy Syndrome).

So, most people’s brains are like a regular shaped teapot with a single spout. Let’s say that your time, energy, focus etc is the liquid you have in the teapot. Your executive function is the spout, that directs the tea into the specific cup you want to fill-aka the task that you’re meant to be doing. Spills happen occasionally, but generally most of the tea goes in the right cup.

If you have executive dysfunction, (a symptom of ADHD, trauma, autism, schizophrenia etc.) you have multiple spouts going in different directions. You can try pointing one of them at your chosen cup and you will probably get some liquid in there, perhaps you will even fill it right up (finish the task). But meanwhile, tea is also pouring out of several other places and not going where you want it. If you have another container nearby, perhaps some of it will end up in there. But quite a lot of it is going to end up on the floor and accomplish nothing.

And at the end of the day you’ll have filled one or two cups ( or sometimes not even one) compared to the five or six that somebody with the same sized teapot (but only one spout) has filled, and everyone wonders why you’re so bad at getting tea poured, and why you make such a mess in the process.

One day I’d like to spend more time learning pottery and create a really technically good fucked up little adhd teapot. But that’s a long way off since i currently live in the outback and the nearest pottery workshop is some 400km away. But I figure that for now, it might be a useful or interesting metaphor to somebody even in its rough draft form.

This post is the cup I filled instead of cleaning my house btw.

[ms-demeanor]

When I worked at the second coffee shop we had three sizes of ice cream, junior, single, and double, and they were all a *lot* of ice cream.

People would come up to the counter and ask for a double with strawberry and cookie dough and I'd say "you might want to do a single or junior with two flavors instead of a double, a double is really big" and they wouldn't listen, and it was always a delight to watch their eyes open in mild panic as the scoops materialized in front of them.

But the *best* was when a kid would ask "dad can i have a double scoop?" And I'd say "you might want a junior scoop with two flavors, they're big scoops" and the parent would say "no, he wants a double" because i worked at that coffee shop for six years and I had a lot of time to practice and very strong arms and I could easily pack a pint and a half of ice cream on top of a sugar cone, and I did so with gleeful abandon every time someone made that mistake and the kids *loved* it when I'd pass the cone over and it would almost tip out of their hands with the weight of the ice cream.

Kids who ordered a junior cone *also* got a truly unmanageable amount of ice cream, but that was never as amusing to me as watching the parents' reactions as I was shoveling a monkey's paw worth of ice cream into a waffle cone and they couldn't change their mind mid-scoop because after all I *had* warned them and backing out after telling me to go ahead would be admitting defeat.

Anyway. If you were a kid who had an unwieldy double scoop at Bean Town Coffee Bar from 2005 to 2011, I hope you had as much fun with your ice cream as I did.