#so i keep *writing* thor and loki for familiarity's sake

[tyrannuspitch]

it makes me rlly sad to see so many ppl say they wouldn't write fic set outside america (plus maybe the uk, japan, or a few others) bc "no-one would read it". i promise i will read your slovak mafia AU. i will read your jamaican superhero AU, your moroccan time travel AU, your thai coffeeshop AU, whatever you've got. i am in fact actively seeking them out bc i LOVE putting characters in situations. and if it's not a matter of de-americanising but simply of NOT americanising then i promise i will be right there in the trenches with you because if i ever write a thor modern AU i swear to god i WILL be putting those guys in scandinavia where they fucking belong

[luna-writes-stuff]

Could you write hcs for Loki with a reader who's the Goddess of War ? please ?

Goddess of War, Loki Laufeyson

I know Frigg/Freya is the goddess of war, but for the sake of the story, now it’s you.

Headcanons, female s/o

Tw: Incorrect Norse Mythology (but in the MCU Loki is Odin’s “son” and Hela is Thor’s brother, so it’s not that bad), Loki series spoilers, Endgame/Infinity war reference, none other?

- Obviously, you met in Asgard. You had known Thor and Loki for as long as you could remember.

- Both brothers have had the biggest crushes on you since they were children, but both were aware of their feelings. Therefor, Loki felt useless pursuing you. Thor had always been above him, and he knew it. Even after the times Thor had ensured his brother they were equals.

- But you made it pretty clear that you had no interest in Thor when he offered to court you. You tried letting him down easily as you had been good friends, but Thor took it kind of personal. He wasn’t angry, more disappointed.

- But now he had a good reason to support Loki. He appreciated his brother for being around, so he helped him the best he could, even after Loki told him it wouldn’t be necessary.

- It wasn’t until after the events in New York that you and Loki grew closer. While he was wallowing in the Asgardian dungeons, you kept him company, chatting him up about anything that happened or trying to joke with him. Just something to loosen the tension.

- You had helped Loki escape when the dark elves arrived, spending more time with him during that while than you ever had.

- And then he “died.” Thor went off-world and you were left alone in Asgard.

- It didn’t take you long to see through Loki’s scheme of ruling Asgard. But instead of turning him over, you had helped him try to maintain the place; ensuring there were no riots amongst the people and that everyone had been save (pretty ironic for the goddess of war)

- When Hela arrived, your first instinct was to fight her, already dragging your sword the moment Loki opened the Bifrost.

- You tried to kick her out, you truly did. But she was an unfair match for you; dropping you and Loki out of the Bifrost, leaving Thor to be with her alone.

- Upon arriving at Sakaar, you and Loki managed to get on the grandmaster’s good side. You were given the joh of training the gladiators while Loki maintained your safe spot. An unspoken bond began growing between the both of you.

- But that was when Thor came back, ruining it without realizing it. You and Loki grew more distant over the whole Ragnarok thing.

- Yet, after the destruction of Asgard, both of you realized your feelings had been mutual. A love and understanding finally blossomed, releasing long held feelings.

- And then Thanos arrived. You had tried challenging him into combat, just in order to defend the brothers, but it had been a fruitless attempt.

- Loki had been ruthlessly killed in front of you, immediately draining you off all energy. You knew he would be waiting for you at the gates of Valhalla, but you were too stubborn to join him just yet.

- Heimdall managed to sent you and Hulk back to earth. It had been a few weeks without any Asgardian interaction and it left you drained and tired. When Thor returned, he was in no better state then you.

- But thankfully, you had been a fighter. When time traveling with the Avengers, you found Loki in New York. You tried to keep your head on the mission, but you knew it wouldn’t bring him back. So you did the only logical thing.

- You escaped with Loki, using the tesseract. When the TVA found the both of you, Loki grew fiercely protective, not familiar with the concept of the TVA.

- You were too caught up in realizing you had been with Loki again and you would no longer wait as long as you did before, so you shared your life with this Loki.

- He had been the one to do the talking, making schemes, doing his usual Loki business, while you became his dependence. Where you went, he went. By your side for all time. Always.

[ancientwastedlores]

Undone by “Darling”

REQUEST (from @november-solarstorms​): Celebrating another year of this earth being braced by Tom Hiddleston's presence! Lol. Might I make a prompt request? I feel as though it would be interesting to read from Loki's POV to explore the dynamics between him and a human female who is just as intelligent as he. She has a sharp wit and even sharper tongue. Her sarcastic and clever nature enable her to out-banter Tony Stark, the king of snark himself (may he rest in peace). But she is also just as flirtatious and salacious. She never blushes, never falters, and is incredibly clever. You can decide the nature of their encounter. Really im just in it for a good game of cat and mouse.

A/N: Okay, I had SO MUCH FUN writing this!! And yeah, this will run a bit longer than my usual fics lol. Also, there IS a Loki POV, just keep reading thaaanks <3

WARNINGS: none. 

WORD COUNT: 1,932

____________________________________________________________________

Undone by “Darling” 

17 hours and 6 white chocolate mochas later, it was finally ready - an upgraded version of Corvus Glaive’s glaive, this one spec-ed out to your fancies and requirements. It was a beast, and definitely not something Nick Fury would ever let you play around with, even if you made it. 

Satisfied with your work, you remove your safety goggles and grin at Stark, who is working on his own weapon he scavenged from the Black Order. 

‘I’m done!’ you say triumphantly, causing him to look up and groan.  ��How did you finish before me!?’ he lowers his glasses and looks at your weapon.  ‘I’m smarter’ you say.   ‘I went to MIT’  ‘And I didn’t, yet here we are, both in the same lab’. 

He shakes his head, not unlike a petulant child, causing you to laugh. 

‘How far along are you?’ you ask.  ‘Still running diagnostics’.  ‘Still!?’  ‘Have you seen the size of his hammer?’ he gestures to Cull Obsidian’s chain hammer on his work table, but the innuendo doesn’t escape you and you grin at him. He facepalms. ‘Y/n, for god’s sake...’  ‘You’re just tired, or you’d appreciate the joke too’. 

You stretch your weary body and let out a deep breath. You’d test the weapon out tomorrow, but for now, you need a nap. 

‘Take a load off, Stark. Hammer’ll be there tomorrow’.  ‘Oh, you’d like that wouldn’t you...’ he puts his goggles back on and get to work. 

xx

Loki’s POV: 

Humans are surprising, but I always knew that. I never thought them boring, even if my brother says I do. Humans are of so little power but such incredible resilience that it’s frankly astonishing. I am inclined to believe that sometimes resilience is just stupidity... in most cases, I am right. But that’s not to say I haven’t come across some truly brave people. 

Take the Avengers Tower, for example. 

Just in here, you have Y/n, a brave soldier with the mind of an intergalactic scavenger, and I do mean that as a compliment. She’s awfully clever, she can build better than Stark, and has a track record of finishing every mission to perfection and before time. And then you have the Super Soldier Steve Rogers, a big muscled, big hearted idiot who often mistakes challenging our enemies for bravery and morality. 

The two couldn’t be more different, but they get along like siblings. Not siblings like Thor and I... better adjusted, perhaps. 

They sit in front of me, talking about some mission while they play Chess. Her moves are quick but calculated, his take more time because he’s more interested in telling his story than playing the game. 

‘...so there I am, no weapons, no shield, bang in the middle of the Serpent Citadel...’ 

He’s a good storyteller, I’ll give him that. But not as good as Y/n. She paints quite a picture, full of delicious gory details and horribly dark jokes. 

‘Steve, you have to pay attention, you’re losing’ she says.  ‘Yeah, I don’t actually know how to play chess, I just wanted you to listen to my story’. 

She looks up at him, almost offended. ‘STEVE...’  ‘Cool, I’m gonna go wrap Stark into a game of Battleships and tell him about my fight with Copperhead’. 

She laughs as he leaves the room, and she puts the chess pieces away. 

‘We could play?’ I ask her.  ‘Is the God in a mood to lose?’  ‘Over confidence isn’t attractive in anybody’. ‘Oh darling, neither is telling someone what is and isn’t attractive’. 

She’s never called me that before, and in the context it should seem cutting, but it isn’t. ‘Darling?’  ‘Problem?’  ‘It’s quite a term of endearment to set someone straight’. 

She says nothing. 

‘Cat got your tongue?’ I tease her. She only smiles and continues putting the pieces away neatly. Stark’s chess set is gold and black, all individually carved pieces. The pawns are all Iron Man suits, but that’s to be expected. She handles them with the care Stark would. 

‘I mean...’ I continue, ‘honestly, if someone heard, they’d never let you live it down’. 

And she carries on, unbothered. 

‘Y/n!’  ‘Oh dear, look at you come completely undone with just one term of endearment’ she comments, shutting the chess set. ‘Whatever would happen if I held your hand?’ 

The very thought of it seemed to drain my brain of blood. I unwillingly glanced at her hands, working the lock mechanism of the box, her blue veins prominent. 

‘Cat got your tongue?’ she asked. 

I stood up, the human emotion of embarrassment becoming too familiar for me. ‘I’ll have to see you at lunch’.  ‘Sure, darling’. 

Oh, I hate how she’s enjoying this. 

----------

The next day, Y/n booked a training room to test out the Glaive, and Stark had a rusty but working chain hammer. Steve insists on trying it out anyway, and now our breakfast is being spent on discouraging him from doing that. 

‘Guys... if nothing else, I’ll still have my shield. Let me test it out!’  ‘Y/n’s glaive cuts through Vibranium, you know that, right?’ Stark says.  ‘Y/n wouldn’t do that’. ‘Oh yes she would’ Y/n says nonchalantly as she sinks her teeth into a bacon and egg sandwich. 

As she does, the yolk runs down her fingers. She makes a sound at the inconvenience and sets the sandwich down, then grabs a napkin. I’m hardly ever crude, but the energy it took not to take her hand and lick off the yolk myself could burn every star in the galaxy. 

Captain America scrunches his nose at her remark, severely offended. 

‘In any case, that shield barely covers your giant body. It will force Stark to make you a new one’.  ‘What do you care about his giant body’ Stark says.  ‘It’s America’s ass, Tony’ she takes a sip of her iced coffee. Steve blushes, and Tony rolls his eyes. 

----------

The training facility is magic, of course, somewhere between a mirror dimension and Wanda’s reality powers creating a safe cocoon inside the building so no one can be harmed. Y/n hardly trusted anybody to fight with her except Thor, but given the nature of Corvus’ Glaive, she knew magic would be required. 

And so she called me. 

After getting into my battle armour, I stepped into the facility, equipped with my sceptre and the teachings of the witches of Asgard. 

She whistles as I walk in. ‘Trying to distract me from killing you?’  ‘Are you?’ I ask. She’s dressed in a black bodysuit, details of purple in her belt and weapon harnesses.  ‘Why yes, I am. Glad you noticed’. 

The glaive is on the floor, and she stomps her foot on one part of it so it swivels up and neatly places itself in her hand. She smiles. 

‘Try to keep up. I’m not just looking for eye candy in a training partner, darling’ she says, getting into battle stance. 

With nothing left to say for the second time this week, I aim the sceptre at her and the stone at the end glows. 

She charges and I shoot at her, but she spins the glaive and creates a shield which absorbs the energy. 

She continues to charge at me. I shoot again, and again the glaive takes the hit. Not a scratch on her. 

Once she comes closer, she simply places the flat end of the weapon against my chest, sending me hurtling back into a wall. 

She spins the glaive and laughs. 

‘Compliments of Wakanda. It absorbs any hits and charges up with kinetic energy’. 

I get up on my feet. This is far from over. I create multiple illusions to surround her, all of them brandishing knives, Chitauri tech, and sceptres. 

‘Damn, suddenly my whole evening has opened up’ she says, looking around.

Even my clones look around at each other puzzled. 

‘Come on then, who’s up?’ she spins the glaive around. ‘One at a time or all at once, baby’. 

They charge at her, and I expected her to fight them off at once... instead she plants the staff on the ground and ducks, and a semi-circle shell grows from the top of the staff, down to the floor... like a mini fortress, completely impenetrable. It could, no doubt, continue to take hits and build up kinetic energy, so I call off the clones. 

She gets up and retracts the shell. ‘Nanotech’ she grins at me. ‘The whole shell sits in a disk. It can withstand bombs and even a moon’.  ‘Is there any tech you haven’t adopted?’  ‘I’m an intergalactic scavenger, aren’t I?’ 

I stare at her, horrified. Can she read minds? 

‘Maybe I can. Or maybe I heard you tell Stark when he was complaining about me finishing my weapon first’. 

Silence. 

‘Also, darling, you’re awfully predictable in your fighting’. 

She picks up every trick and tech she sees, so beating her is less about weapons and more about cunning. 

No problem. Cunning is my specialty. 

‘Ready now?’ she asks.  ‘Mhm’. 

She takes a deep breath to ready herself, her eyes shutting slightly. Once they open back up, she stares in shock. 

In my Jotun form, I give her my most menacing smile.

She cocks her head to the side, studying my icy blue skin. 

The illusion I cast of myself approaches behind her, dagger in hand. Once it’s close enough and I can almost taste my victory, she raises the glaive and in one swift motion, sticks it into its abdomen. 

The illusion disappears into green light. 

‘Cute’ she remarks. She points the glaive at me. ‘What else you got for me?’  I shift back to my Asgardian form and sigh. ‘You win’. 

Y/n laughs and lowers her weapon. ‘Oh darling, I won the second you walked in wearing all that leather’. She winks at me, then walks out of the facility. I feel a blush creep to my face, much against my will. 

-------------

‘Maybe you should stick to your guns, Tony’ Y/n says, ‘Fancy suits is it for you, chain hammers may be overshooting it’.  ‘Is that what they taught you in the back alley you learnt ironmongery from?’  ‘Yes! Do you want their number, I’m sure they’ll have a spot on the waiting list for you’. 

Ah. Y/n’s relationship with Stark seemed more like mine with Thor. While they banter, Steve and Natasha tear up from laughing. I wouldn’t go so far as to call this domestic, but it certainly is comfortable. 

‘Come on, the glaive can’t be that good, right Loki?’ Stark asks. 

The company looks at me expectantly. ‘To say her weapon isn’t good enough means to insult your own tech, Stark. Everything about it is founded on your theories’. 

‘So technically, it’s my brain that made the glaive so cool’ he tells Y/n.  ‘Yeah, you could say that. The glaive comes from the same mind that manufactured Captain America’s dinner plate’. 

Steve doesn’t find that one funny, but Natasha does, sending her into peals of laughter. 

‘Oh whatever’ Tony huffs. ‘I’m going back to the lab’. 

He stands up and Y/n grabs his arm. ‘Aww Tony, I’m just kidding!’ she pats his hand, ‘Look, you’re a brilliant inventor, we all have our slow days’. 

He sighs and nods, and holds her hand. ‘Thanks... I guess I’m just not in my element, you know?’  ‘Yeah...’ she keeps patting his hand. 

And the feeling of domesticity creeps in. We really are all a family. Y/n smiles encouragingly at Tony, and Tony seems more relaxed. 

‘So, you want me to get you the number of that ironmongery, or...?’  ‘OH FOR...’ he snatches his arm away and storms out of the room, with Steve and Nat losing it all over again. 

___________________________________________________________

Ah this was so fun!!!!!!!! I hope you guys liked it <3 

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ASK BOX OPEN FOR FIC REQUESTS. Find GUIDELINES HERE.

[a-heart-inscribed]

It Evaded Me

Here is a prompt I started awhile back and just found the motivation to start writing again.

I had an idea about possibly turning this into a multi chapter but let me know if you’d like to see that.

Shameless. He was absolutely shameless as he stood there and let a ruthless smile spread across his face, looking down at the team. Your team. His eyes sparkled with a madness you hadn’t seen in years as he look over all of you assembled standing before him.

Your heart was racing and eyes burning with unshed tears and the sting from the smoke in the air around you. There was ash and shoot in the air and you knew it smudged your face.

Madness crackled in his words “Is this all you’ve got? ‘Earth’s mightiest heroes’?”

“Loki! Enough!” Thor bellowed from beside you. “What are you doing, brother?”

“Ah, just what I do best. Betrayal is my calling card, is it not?” His eyes flashed over Tony at your side for a moment as he spoke before snapping back to his brother.

Swallowing and fighting back the ache in your chest you called out. “Loki, stop this. Please…”

If you didn’t know him so well you wouldn’t have seen the flash over his face at your words, though it was so fast even you couldn’t read it. “It’s too late for that, darling. Nothing personal.”

Thor sighed and cringed next to you but it barely registered as you shouted back. “Nothing personal? Nothing fucking PERSONAL?!” Magic snaped around your fingers as your hands balled into fists, one instinctively closing over the hilt of your sword.

Rolling his neck and one shoulder he shrugged. “It’s just business, Pet.”

The blood rushing in your ears drown out the shouts of you name mixed with a chorus of ‘no’s, ‘stop’s and ‘wait’s from the team around you. A shout ripped from your lips and you lunged forward, unsheathing the weapon at your side. Though they may have been trying to protest, you could make out your team leaping forward to follow your lead. Steve and Bucky soon made it level to your head start in the charge, you could feel Thor just behind you and hear as Tony took to the air on your other side. You couldn’t get a gage on the others but knew they would fall in line with the team.

Loki snickered and with a flick of his wrist called forward more enemy soldiers before fluidly moving down the steps himself. His movements where almost rhythmic as he moved directly at all of you, a staff materializing in one hand, short sword in the other, and his horned helmet upon his head.

You could hear the line of your team collide headfirst with enemies, battle sounds flaring up around you. In a move Loki himself had taught you, your forward attack turned into the momentum to slide under your opponent followed by a back stroke to the back of the soldier’s head with the hilt in you hand hard enough to knock them out. Turning quickly back to your now clear path to Loki, you could almost see pride shining under the crazed façade as he watched you, moving steadily in your direction.

He stopped a short distance from you, planting his feet in a wide stance to brace for your incoming assault. “Shall we dance, sweetheart?”

Your sword clashed into his as he blocked your swing. “Fuck you, Loki. I-”

His chuckle and counterattack threw you off, but you blocked in the nick of time and he nearly purred at you, “I believe you did just that. darling.”

The growl that ripped from your throat was almost feral and the hurt that flooded through you fueled your movements. You had trained with Loki frequently, you two often sparing with weapons and, as your magic developed, he had trained you to use your magic. The two of you were normally evenly matched and you knew the other’s style like the back of your hand, but you were gaining the upper hand in this moment.

“Y/n!” you heard Tony’s voice before the incoming blast from his suit. The blast hit between you and Loki and it sent you both reeling apart. Tony rarely missed when he was this close. If you didn’t know any better, you would have said the blast was targeted to break the two of you apart.

Using your legs to swing for momentum you flip yourself back to standing, facing Loki as he regains his bearings as well. You move fast, trying to get to him before he is totally oriented, but your attack is met with an easy parry.

Swinging again you end up in another deadlock, Loki’s face inches from yours, his blue eyes burning into yours. “After everything Loki, after you promised… You couldn’t give me any hint that this was where your mind was venturing? You promised you’d let me know so I could help before it got to this…”

His eyes flash and face fell a bit before he responds through clenched teeth, “Sorry, Love. It evaded me…”

Pushing him back a step to unlock your weapons you let your arms fall to your sides. “Please, Loki, stop this. If you stop this now maybe…” You couldn’t stop the tears from slipping from your eyes, slowly down your cheeks, “We can fix it. I’ll help you, just please stop this.”

His staff vanished from his hand and he lowered the sword in the other one as he stepped closer. “I-” his eyes roamed your face for a moment before he sighed. “I can’t, love.”

You had let him get too close and as his hand came shooting up you braced for an attack, trying to move to block it. His hand grasping the collar of your uniform surprised you and you looked up into his eyes again. “I can’t.” He breathed before he tugged you forward, and his lips crashed into yours.

It was familiar but so different. Over the course of your relationship with the God of Mischief you had shared many different types of kisses with him from heated and fast to slow and comforting. But this was desperate and pleading, as if he were trying to make you understand.

Then you felt it, the familiar brush of Loki’s mind and consciousness against yours. Both he and Wanda had worked with all of the team to learn to guard your minds against intruders. None of you had been practicing long and the training had proven futile less than an hour previously, so you were surprised. You knew Loki could force his way in like the others had, but this brush was tentative, asking permission for access. Instinctively you let down your wall to him but slammed the wall back up to prevent full access. He could speak to you, hear you respond, but his access to more than that was restricted unless he forced it.

He was in your mind as his lips moved urgently against yours. Talk to Stark. Force him to explain if you must. He has answers.

Loki? You responded back softly, another tear slipping out and down into your kiss.

Please, talk to Stark. His lips broke from yours and he pressed his forehead against yours, both of you with your eyes closed still. I love you, Y/n.

Loki… Your thoughts were laced with heartbreak as you spoke directly to his mind but before you could go on, he softly pulled his mind from yours. You could feel his hesitation before he blocked you from chasing him into his own mind, his walls more solid and unyielding than yours had ever been.

“Get ready to block, darling.” He whispered softly as your eyes opened back up to look into his.

Looking up this closely at him his eyes were clear, and you were looking into the eyes of the man you loved. It made your chest ache more. He gave you a sad smile before you watched the madness seep back in and cover him like a mask, his smile growing more sinister.

The normal volume to his voice almost made you jump compared to the intimacy previously. “For old times sake, sweetheart. But you will fail.” Suddenly he used the hand still clutching your collar to push you back before slowly raising his sword to point it at your chest and taking a fighting stance. “You will all fail.”

His slow movements had allowed you, though confused and conflicted, to ready yourself for his incoming assault. Again, your blades met, and it was back to the familiar dance of advance and retreat.

You found yourself in another stalemate, blades locked and face to face. At some point he had resummoned his staff, which he currently held behind him for balance. Mind racing you reached out with your magic, triggering his reflex to bring the staff forward in a way that let you slam your free hand down on his wrist before moving around to catch the staff as he released it.

Shock shown on his face as you swiped one of his legs out from under him with his staff, sending his staggering backwards and the onto his ass.

Looking up at you he cackled, “Impressive, but not enough.” His magic sparked through the air around you and suddenly he was on his feet again.

You raise the staff to throw, aiming for his legs so as not to harm him but bring him down. As you let it go, flying true, you are surprised when metal clangs and Steve’s shield crashes into the staff, knocking them both away from Loki.

Your eyes snap to Steve as he lands next to you, having jumped from somewhere nearby. “Damn, sorry Y/n. Bad timing with that throw.” He darts forward to grab his shield before you can respond, and you see something slip from his hand before ducking. He follows the movement by picking up his shield and the staff before dodging another swing from Loki.

Shaking your head, you cannot believe what you are seeing. Laying at Loki’s feet is the orb you know is one of the exact items you are trying to keep out of the hands of these enemies. Steve lands a punch to Loki’s face before Loki knocks him back, Steve falling at your feet.

You know you should go to the orb, but you instinctively crouch next to Steve. Loki is already scooping up the orb as you hold out your hand to Steve, pulling him until he is sitting up.

“Thank you for this, Captain. Now we can be done here.” Loki winks at the two of you before waving a hand and vanishing, followed shortly by the surrounding enemy soldiers.

You sigh and survey the damage around you, surprised at how minimal it is, all the focus must have been on your team. Still crouched next to Steve you look up and watch Tony descend and land in front of you as the rest of the team make their way to you.

“You alright, Cap?” Tony asks as his helmet pulls back.

Steve stood slowly, taking you by the hand so you stood with him. “Yeah. I’m fine. What about the others?”

“All good, Captain.” Peter replies as he lands beside you.

Looking around you took stalk. Nat is limping but standing, Scott and Thor look a little roughed up but alright, and Bucky was running a hand through his hair but fine. Your team looked fine and you wondered how the others were doing uptown.

“Did he get it?” Tony asks, looking directly at Steve.

“Yeah, he did.” Steve doesn’t sound like you’d expect, there is no disappointment in his tone.

“Good.” You whirl on Tony as the word comes out of his mouth.

“What?!” It sounds like a hiss through your teeth.

Peter bounces from foot to foot before speaking up. “Uh, Mr. Stark, but I thought the whole point was to keep the death orb away from you know… dangerous… um…” He glances at you before going on, “the bad guys?”

“Never mind kid. We should get back to the compound and discuss-”

“No!” You shout at him, tears in your eyes again. “Tony Stark you tell me what is going on NOW!”

Tony sighs and glances around. “This isn’t the time, Y/n.”

Your hands crackle with magic as you stalk forward and push him squarely on the chest. “He said… you’d have answers?! What the fuck is going on?!”

You felt a hand on your arm and looked up into Steve’s face, his helmet now removed too. “Not here, Y/n.”

Begrudgingly, you nod to Steve but turn back to Tony. “This isn’t over.”

The ride back with Steve on his motorcycle is quite as you think, confused and hurt. Steve has always been one of your closest friends on the team so, though you are mad at him for having some part in this, you spend the ride back with your cheek pressed against his back for comfort. When he pulls up to the compound and parks the bike, you don’t get off at first and leave your arms around Steve’s middle.

“Hey, Doll. Talk to me.”

“I don’t want to.” You say, muffled into his back, as you tighten your hug. “It hurts.”

Sighing he puts a hand on yours on his chest. “We need to go talk to Tony. This… we new this was gonna hurt. Know I’m sorry it had to be like this.”

“Steve, tell me what’s happening…”

He breaks your hold to get off the bike before helping you up and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “We need to brief the team.”

“I’m not just the team to him, Steve. At least I didn’t think…”

“You’re not, Y/n. You know that. This plan… It was Tony and Loki’s idea. Tony needs to explain.” He starts guiding you inside.

You are the last to get there, making you think Steve may have taken a bit of a longer route home to give you time to process. You hadn’t even noticed to be honest. Hugging him once more you separate yourself from Steve and he lets you move further into the room.

“Tony?” Your voice is softer than you meant, and he looks up to meet your eyes.

“Y/n. I’m sorry.” Tony was moving towards you as he spoke and stopped in front of you. “This was sort of a need-to-know plan and yo-”

The sound of your hand meeting his cheek echoes through the room that has gone totally silent. You can feel the eyes of everyone on you, but you stand tall. “And I didn’t need to know? Like hell I didn’t! Loki is-” Your voice cracks and you go to swing at Tony again, but he catches your wrist.

“I know. Trust me, I know. It wasn’t that you didn’t need to know. You couldn’t know.” Tony lowered your hand but still held it in his. “That was actually Loki’s stipulation. He knew they would try to go straight for you, into your mind, to check his loyalty to them. If you knew, it could have given him away. And he was right.”

You shudder, remembering the intrusion into your mind as you first stood against the alien army. It had taken longer than they thought thanks to Loki and Wanda’s training, but they had got in none the less. They hadn’t even tried to touch the others minds.

Shaking your head, you take it in. “He doubted me?”

“No.” Tony takes a few steps back to lean against the couch in the common room as he speaks. “But he knew they would throw everything they had at you because of how close to him you were. He blamed himself for not preparing you enough.”

“So he-” You shake your head yet again to keep your voice from breaking, “He’s what then? Undercover or something?”

With a sad smile Tony nods. “We needed an inside man. Desperately. Loki volunteered when I suggested we get one.” He ran his hand through his hair before going on. “We had to give them a reason to trust him. That was what today was about. Minimal destruction but make it look like we failed and Loki could deliver.”

“For how long?” You ask gently.

Tony seems confused, as if that wasn’t the question he was expecting. “What?”

“How long will he be… undercover?”

Steve is behind you and pulls you back to rest against his chest. “We don’t know, Y/n. However long it takes.”

You can’t stop the tears as your heart breaks all over again.

[ornamental-coral]

Snake-Birds and villainy (or not)

This is sort of an extended reply to this ask

I’m a Snake Bird.

Oddly enough, I have incredibly few favorite characters who are Also Snake Birds. 

...Okay, actually. That’s not strictly accurate. It’s more accurate that I’m not Infatuated with many true Snake Bird characters.

I have a number of characters who I Like who are Snake Birds. But it’s often painful to watch Snake-primary characters navigate a narrative. Anyone who writes will be familiar with old advice that goes something like this: “Stuck!? Find something Bad for your ink-baby to deal with”

Snake Primaries’ motivations are their people and those people are the center of their souls, so to have that threatened and just raw-nerve exposed can be great for nail-biting on-the-edge sort of action (ie Breaking Bad) or just make me, a sympathetic Snake, want to claw my heart out. For Bird Secondary characters this can also be hard to deal with as part of the narrative because Birds thrive on being... overprepared. And they need time to research (or have people they trust provide new information) when they are thwarted, which means pacing out the story to account for that time. And Deus Ex Machina is out, so the Bird-second really has to do the work themselves or end up a bag of [less-effectual] nerves.

This is part of why Snake Birds are not popular protagonist material and they’re more often the villains. They may occasionally be sidekicks or partners (think “dueling-second” type partners more than “I am also the leader” type of partners). Stiles Stilinski is probably a fandom favorite example for this type of Snake Bird. (Hi “house favorite” ‘nonnie, congratulations on also getting me to really expose the fact that I consume too much questionable media and find things to like about it, although I really don’t think Teen Wolf was that bad).

Stiles is ruthlessly loyal towards his best friend Scott, and only a little softer with Lydia because she’s almost more ruthless than he is and secondary-matches with him and they both understand what it’s like to hide part of that because it would scare the people they love or want to be loved by. But he wears himself to exhaustion researching and investigating because the monsters he faces are Time Sensitive, because His People are In Danger, and [he believes] only he knows enough to do anything about it. People can and have written “what if’s” with Stiles as the protagonist though and it’s a darker story because this cold-house combo, when called on to be the hero on their own, is not stereotypically concerned with any greater good, can, and will take out the source of the problem asap and erm permanently so it can’t come back and try hurting Their People again.

Oddly enough, Teen Wolf works with Stiles as a sort of secondary-protagonist because Scott, the main protagonist, is a Double Puff and the Hufflepuff secondary also likes putting in the work. This slows down the narrative enough for Stiles to keep up (which sounds funny when you think of Stiles literally being one of the smartest people in his school).

There are very few of the Lions among the Teen Wolf cast (actually they killed the only one from the original ensemble which probably says something about the writers. Jeff Davis also produced Criminal Minds and we see a similar lack of Lion secondaries there) and this simply changes what you can do with the pacing. In the show actually, a majority of the antagonists are Lion flavored, which is unusual and what really what provides a lot of the urgency needed to move the story along.

I haven’t sorted Breaking Bad, but @wisteria-lodge has added some of the characters to her live sorting list, and I agree that Walter White might be the Snakiest-Birdiest protagonist ever. And I haven’t finished the series At All so I don’t even knows if he stays the protagonist (as opposed to some kind of anti-hero) because it hits the line between edge-of-seat suspense and eat-your-heart-out. As far as a story goes, there’s a reason Breaking Bad is such a famous show, but it’s also uniquely un-bingeable because the result is (at least for this introvert) something almost as bad as a post-concert drop.

Spoilers and further conversation below because some of you have probably gotten tired of my ramblings:

Another likely Snake Bird candidate is James Flint of Black Sails. (See! I do have taste!!)

I hesitate to name him a Bird Secondary though because he is so single-minded (at least to the point in the show I am) in his quest to wrest control of Nassau from the British. He’s decided realizing the dream that killed one of his lovers is the only way he will ever be able to give Thomas’ memory a measure of peace. Doing everything in Thomas’ name is a pretty Snake Primary thing to do, and James Flint at least models Bird Second when he has the time. He likes to read and was able to learn multiple languages apparently, but I think that it was as much for the sake of being on the same page as Thomas and Miranda as anything else. He doesn’t have time to pursue knowledge for the sake of it and tends to kill his way through problems if he has no other options. It’s far more likely to be that he is a Snake Primary Lion Secondary with a fairly developed and mature Bird Secondary that he uses to tweak the direction of his Lion’s charge, but at this point neither make him happy because his Snake is so torn up with Thomas’ fate he’s ready to burn the world.

Anyhow it’s more common for Snake Birds to play the villains or not to “play” at all. The Snake with their people in place is a Snake that can and will follow their persons’ lead, and is internal with the rest of the Primary and Secondary performance so they’re harder to drag into the narrative action 

If you want to force a Snake to act, once again, threaten their people. A Snake without their people to protect (and be morality pets to some extent), and all the Bird resources to be able to plan a dozen way towards their enemy’s downfall, that’s an easy villain. And one that has a readily available arsenal of plot-worthy obstacles to throw in the way of your hero combined with the grief-fueled rage to never stop.

That’s what Thor’s Loki is about. He can’t get his father’s approval and he’s sick to death of being shown that his brother, his most important person, doesn’t appreciate him, and then on top of that he learns he’s not really a son or brother, so he goes ballistic. (He’s at least modelling a Snake breakdown, but he also tries to make places to belong, so I’m still not sure if he’s a Bird instead. More on that after June I guess).

Tl;dr

Snake Birds are easy villains and I’m not going to deny that a lot of us love whipping up a good plot (that was a writing pun it’s okay to laugh) so the giant axes swinging from the ceiling? the pit full of alligators? the seventeenth iteration of the kidnapping attempt in Megamind? yeah, a bored Bird Secondary could have come up with all that stuff.

If any of you are writers, having a Bird Secondary protagonist is Hard and having a Bird Secondary in your ensemble is Still Hard unless they’re a rapid-fire bird with plans to spare, has resources ready to go, or the ensemble is built in a way that supports the kind of time a Bird Secondary needs to regroup if their plans are foiled.

Also watching people who house match exactly with you in media is hard and painful but also really validating and everyone should have that experience at least once.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

tapestry 👑 XXX

Warnings: dark elements, dub/noncon (fingering)

This is dark!(king)Steve and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: King Steven had a wandering eye but you never thought it would fall upon you.

This Chapter: The king has some fun.

Note: Hey, it’s me again. I wrote this chapter after work in the brief interlude between soul crushing shifts. Hope you enjoy.<3 

Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply! Love ya!

masterlist

After Priskham, the progress continued to Lord Stark's lair at the Iron Tower and continued on to Lord Barnes's hold of Brooks's End. The castle had been abandoned for two centuries before him as its former family had been extinguished for their part in a plot against the Rogers' Dynasty in Western Uprisings. You suspected its history loomed in the mind of its current keeper.

The king was as diligent as ever but since your first night upon progress, you had done better to let him his desires. You didn't dare pretend at sleep again and when he made a request, you took it as an order. And Barnes, well you avoided him as you could, for his sake and yours. Not that he would look at or talk to you.

To mark the first full day in Brook’s End, Barnes arranged a feast. The wild boar, for which the locale was famous for, was served roasted with a medley of vegetables, and endless wine and ale. The king had a hand in the event; he bid that Barnes take a seat of honour upon the dais for his efforts. Steven sat in the middle and you were thankful to have him as a barrier.

You sat quietly as you ate. You didn’t have energy for much else. Travel, the king, the court; it all piled up. You listened instead as you awaited dessert, eager to retire for the night. There was to be no dancing as no band could be acquired but there was little outcry at the announcement.

“A final stop at Drissot and we can make for Shell’s Harth.” The king said gaily. “Asgard does seem most eager to have us and I’ve never the pleasure of visiting, even when that witch was alive.”

“King Thor did write of a tournament. Do you think it wise to partake?” Barnes asked dully as he rubbed his finger along the rim of his goblet. “It could be a scheme. A pointed lance could be easily disguised or a sword conveniently confused.” 

“Always so paranoid, my lord,” Steven teased. “Besides, it might have been a few years since my last, but when have I ever been felled at a tourney?”

“Never, your highness,” Barnes answered. “But that was among your own people.”

“I would be more concerned with a taster to guard my plate,” Steve countered. “And my queen’s.”

The king reached blindly to you and ran his hand over your skirts. He didn’t look away from Barnes as he gripped your leg through the fabric. You swallowed and looked down at his hand. He didn’t rescind it as he continued to talk.

“Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Surely,” Barnes answered with a cough. “I was thinking… we might send an ambassador ahead of us. He shall need a party as well to see him safe. Perhaps a mole or two…” He paused and you felt the shift in your hem; the king’s fingers on your thigh as he gathered your skirt slowly. “To attain a preview of the Asgardian court?”

“Hmmm,” Steven said thoughtfully. He carried on tugging your skirt up, up, up, until it was past your knee. You tried to catch the hem and he yanked it sharply. A warning. “I suppose it wouldn’t be ridiculous.”

You stared at the king’s hand as it moved. You followed the brocade along his arm and tried to glance his expression as he kept his face to his companion. The tables below were unable to see past the long cloth hung over yours; the crest of the king beside that of Brook’s End. Steven slipped his hand past the satin and Barnes cleared his throat.

“And we should, uh…” Barnes’ voice was stunted and looked at each other. His gaze sent a thrill through you as his eyes rounded. He blinked and gulped and turned his attention to his goblet. “We should, um, keep an eye on his brother as well. Prince Loki is known for his spies; for having his ear… to the, uh… to the ground most anywhere he treads.”

“Oh, yes, I was not keen on the rodent.” Steven snarled. 

The king shoved his hand up until it met your vee. You squeezed your thighs around him and he pinched you sharply. You squeaked as he forced your legs back apart. He began to rub you with two fingers. You gritted your teeth and tried not to show your discomfort to the people.

Barnes was silent. He emptied his cup and placed it on the table with a hollow clunk. Steven did not relent. The nobleman sighed and shifted in his chair.

“Your highness,” He hissed. “I do not think this… appropriate.”

“Why, this is my feast, is it not? You did declare in my honour?” Steven taunted. “And I find myself rather bored without a band and so I must entertain myself.”

“Then do excuse me,” Barnes insisted as he made to rise.

“No, you shall stay. We are not done talking,” Steven purred as he swirled his fingers and you gasped. You grabbed the side of your chair and pressed yourself to the tall backrest. 

“Please, Steven, she is your queen. You would humiliate her in front of her own court.” Barnes remanded. “Is that the only reason you sought to wed her? To spite her for her denial?”

“Denial? She is mine,” Steven chuckled. “Look at her. She’s trembling, isn’t she? Always so receptive.”

“Don’t do this,” Barnes’ whispered. 

“Who can see but you?” Steven challenged. “I do wonder why it should disturb you so. You did not protest when it was Rose you brought to me. When you did see her to my chambers. Or the one before that… Was it Laura? Lana? Even when it was Eleanor, you did not flinch.”

Barnes’ nostrils flared and he gulped. He reached for his goblet again and found it empty. Then he grabbed the ewer and swore as he found it dry as well. He tossed it back on the table and sat back heavily. He crossed his arms and glared at the king.

“Don’t look at me, look at her,” The king ordered. “Look at that face. Do her lashes flutter? Her eyes roll back? She bites down and you can hear her breathing through her teeth. And she is wet. I can slip inside…” He paused as he pushed his fingers past your entrance and his palm against your clit. “So easily.”

“Steven…” You begged as you touched his wrist. “Please…”

“Do you think she begs me to stop or to cum?” Steven looked to you with a smirk. “Do you think it matters?” He turned back to Barnes. “She is my wife, my queen; mine to do with as I please.”

“Why are you doing this?” Barnes growled.

“Because I can.” The king sneered as his fingers worked faster inside of you. “Because, my lord, I want you to recall this whenever your eyes stray to her; whenever they linger on her as they are want to do; whenever you have those lewd little thoughts that do darken your eyes so.”

Your hands went to the table as you clutched the wood. You struggled not to cry out as you leaned forward into his hand without thinking. Your feet arched in your slippers and the crowd blurred in your vision; a streak of colours and voices. You shook your head as the ripples began to spread along your flesh. As the familiar prick started in your core.

“So watch, my lord, and remember who is king and who is subject,” Steven spat. “Who holds power over…” He paused as you spasmed. You sat back enough to cause the chair to wobble and held in a sob as you came. “Who.”

He slipped his fingers out of you as you tried to steady your breath. He lifted his hand to the light and admired the glisten before he licked them. Your head spun as your eyes found Barnes through the haze; he was livid and pale. His nails were sunk into the arms of his chair and his jaw was squared.

“I have never forgotten, your highness,” He said.

“Good,” Steven smirked and tugged your skirts back down over your legs until it fell upon its own weight. “See that you don’t.” He sat up and glanced around the chamber. “Shall I call for more wine?”

👑

You were to be at Brook’s End for a week. Three days in and you found the place unbearable. The king made it thus. He wouldn’t stop fucking you until you were screaming and he hadn’t grown any subtler in the presence of his host. Only half a week before you set out to the final stop upon your tour; until you would be on your way to your sister.

That day, you spent apart from the king. You and your ladies read from a poetry book, explored the east wing where portraits hung along the walls, and attended your prayers and meals together. For a time, you forgot the king and his favoured lord; although you wondered if his preference was very fervent anymore.

And then you were to return to your husband. You lingered with Marion in the corridors but knew you could forever. You clung to her as she bid you farewell and watched her go. Your guard was silent as you led him through the halls. You hated his thin, unmoving lips and his bushy brows. You missed Dolan. And Marion. Should you mourn them too?

You stood outside your doors for a moment. You looked over to the guard as he took his place opposite the king’s. They didn’t seem to notice you. As you stepped forward, they opened the doors for you and you stepped inside. The king was there, at his desk. He didn’t lift his head as you entered.

“My queen,” He said as he finished scratching his nib across the parchment. “I’ve been awaiting you.”

“My apologies, I did find myself prolonged by Lady Marion,” You lied. “How was your day, husband?”

“Fine enough,” He sat up and set his pen down. “And you, wife?”

“Fine, as well,” You neared the other side of his desk. “Though I do tire.”

“I should hope you aren’t very tired,” He stood and you fought not to wince as he rounded the desk. “I had it in mind that we might play a game.”

“A game?” You repeated. “What do you mean?”

“Cards? Do you know ‘Horses’, or prehaps ‘Lances’?” He asked and you blinked in surprise.

“Uh, yes, of course,” You smiled and for a moment he was silent. He looked down at you as he touched your cheek.

“Then you choose and we shall play,” He bent and pecked your lips. “First I should like a change of clothes.”

“I suppose I would too,” You said. “I like a challenge so I think Horses should do.” 

You followed him to the bed chamber. There was a flutter in your chest. True excitement alongside a sense of relief. You always played cards with your sister; you weren’t very competitive but you enjoyed the past time.

“Horses it is,” He agreed.

He loosened your laces for you and his hands did not wander. You were further surprised. You let the silk fall down your arms and undressed with a sigh. You pulled a robe over your shift and looked up at Steven. He pushed his hair back and stretched; his own robe hung open over a pair of shorts.

“I have set the cards out already,” He said. “You may deal as I pour the wine.”

“You know I do not drink very much wine,” You replied. “Is there water? Milk?”

“The wine is part of the game.” He led you to the table and waited for you to sit before he did. “For each round, the loser will drink.”

“Oh,” You took the deck of cards as he pulled the pair of goblets towards him and filled each with the dark wine. “Hm, well then I suppose I should want to win even more.”

“I wish you luck,” He slid a cup towards you. “So, let us begin.” You dealt six cards to each of you and set the deck in the middle. “Shall I draw first or you?”

“I should allow you the pleasure,” You sorted your cards by suit and waited for him to start.

It was promising at first. You each flicked your cards down one at a time and while you were not winning, you were not losing either. An even match until the last was laid down. The king cried out Horses and you shook your head. A sneaky move but not illegal.

“Drink,” He urged.

You exhaled and took your cup. “To your victory,” You raised it and drank. 

As you set it back down, he tutted. “You must finish.”

You lifted your brow but he did not waver. You lifted your goblet again and gulped deeply. You nearly choked as you emptied it and as you replaced it on the table, your vision swam just a little. He poured you another glass and shuffled the deck. He slid them to you and let you deal again.

And you lost. Again. You huffed and looked into your cup. It was quite a bit of wine. He laughed and gathered up the cards. “My dear, it is only your second cup.”

“I told you, wine does not agree with me.” You pleaded.

“You might still catch up,” He gloated. “Shall I deal this time?”

“As you wish,” You grumbled as you took your cup again. 

The wine was sweeter and easier to swallow but it had a more potent effect. He filled your cup again and you held in a belch. He doled out the cards and you swept up your hand and almost fumbled them. He let you draw first this time and you groaned. Not a good start. He flicked his first card down and you yours. You tossed each onto the pile in quick succession and you were ready to celebrate until that last card. The same trick.

“Lord!” You exclaimed as you threw up your hands. “You must cheat, my king.”

“I did change so that you would not suspect cards up my sleeves,” He held out his arms as his robe hung loosely from them. “And I haven’t anywhere else to conceal them.” He reached to nudge your goblet closer to you. “Do not be a sore loser.”

“I am not… sore.” You argued and grabbed the cup. “Next game.”

You drained the cup, a little dribbled down your chin, and slammed the cup back down. You felt bubbly and wobbly. You leaned on the table to steady yourself. The king dealt the cards and you took them clumsily. You had to win this time.

“How about this. For each card, I will ask you a question for each card and you may ask me one?”

“Ask you what?” You said through thick lips.

“Anything you wish. Shall I draw?”

“Go ahead.” You waved your fingers at him.

He drew and flopped the card down. “First question; I know you to be innocent before we wed, but did you ever kiss another before me?”

“What?” You scoffed. “N-no. Who would I kiss?”

“Is that your question?” He asked.

“No,” You laid down your card. “Why… did you choose cards for tonight?”

“Because they are simple and everything else is so complicated.” He answered. “And… I don’t know. You make me feel… young again.”

“You’re not old,” You chided. “Wait… are you?”

“Not your turn,” He warned and slapped his card down. “Did you ever fancy anyone before me?”

“Fancy? I… my king, why do you ask these things?”

“It is only a game,” He intoned. “I am curious. So answer me.”

“Not truly, I think,” You played with the corner of a card. “I suppose I did know which men were… handsome.”

“Oh, naughty,” He smirked. “Go on.”

You played your card. You licked your lips and thought of another question. “Do you cheat at Horses?”

“No, but I did not warn you of my skill,” He grinned and his card was added to the stack. “And did you list Lord Barnes among these handsome men?”

Your face was hot. Not just from the wine but from his question. Your mouth was acrid as you opened it. Your voice caught in your throat. You swallowed and found it at last. “My king…”

“Your honesty will not rile me,” He leaned an arm on the table, “But your dishonesty should.”

You stared at him. The edges of your vision were fuzzy and your eyelids were heavy. “He is not unattractive.” You answered.

You didn’t look at your cards as you placed the next. Your voice quavered. “Why the wine?”

“To soften you.” He admitted. “To weaken you.”

“And these questions?” You prodded.

“Not your turn.” He set down his card. The king. “When I did make you cum before him, did you imagine it was him touching you?”

You frowned. You reached to your goblet. He hadn’t refilled it yet. “I do not want to play this anymore.”

“It is too late to forfeit. Now, I did play my card.” He stared at you; his blue eyes unwavering. “I told you, your honesty cannot offend me.”

You pressed your lips together and touched your cheek. You nodded. “Only…” Your voice was brittle. “Only for a moment.”

He sat back and waited. You took your turn. You stared at the table in shame. “I have no question. You may ask yours…” You looked up slowly. “For I know this was a trick indeed.”

“I do not ask to entrap you, my queen,” He slipped a card onto the table. “Because I do trust you. I ask because I am curious. I ask because I know your character. And I know his.”

“And you distrust him?” You set your cards down and touched your temples as the wine seeped into your brain.

“I… don’t know,” He said flatly. “You are drunk, wife.”

“I am,” You grumbled as you slumped and held your head.

“Then let us finish our game,” He pointed to your cards upon the table. “And I will see you to bed.”

[mjscornerr]

the can-can

for @broskepol (i don’t know if you meant this to be a writing prompt but i vibed with it and im bored at work)

(warning: can-can from orpheus in the underworld was blasted during the writing of this fic and as a result the entire work is on crack)

It had been stuck in Loki’s head all damn day.

It was a classical song with some sort of trumpet melody. “Can-can,” he remembers Peter calling it last night at his after-school Drama Club meeting. Peter claimed it was the Drama Club’s theme song.

A drama club that, believe it or not, Loki was a proud member of.

When Thor had brought Loki back to Earth, the team decided first and foremost that the god of mischief needed to be contained, to be isolated. He was too chaotic for their planet.

Whatever, Loki had thought. This coming from the gentleman that wanted to put a suit of armor around the world? Talk about paranoid.

Though when all was said and done, Thor hadn’t even been able to convince Tony to let Loki exist in harmony with mortals.

It had been Peter.

Peter suggested rehabilitation. He was the one that had seen Loki sitting bored out of his mind behind a thick sheet of glass, had been the one to hear Thor’s story of how Loki saved their people. He was the one that demanded Tony find any other method of familiarizing Loki with both humans and the world because, as far as Peter had been concerned, locking a person away just because they unleashed an entire alien race on the biggest city in the world “wasn’t fair.”

The punishment didn’t fit the crime, so it goes.

So there Loki was. Spreading strawberry jam and peanut butter on two slices of bread, humming “Can-can,” and silently wondering how he was finally living without a target on his back, silently thanking Peter.

“Are you...humming?”

Loki spun on his heel with a jump, butter knife flying out of his hold and splattering peanut butter and jelly on the floor as he made eye contact with Clint, who was leaning against the compound refrigerator with narrowed, suspicious eyes.

“No.” Loki spun back around, his chin raised as he brought the two pieces of bread together and settled the sandwich on a plate. “I hate music. It’s too...happy.”

Clint scoffed, his arms crossed over his chest as he sauntered forward. “And I’m...what? Just supposed to believe that?”

“Do what you will,” Loki shrugged, taking a bite of his sandwich and raising a brow smugly at the avenger. “I don’t control you.”

Clint clicked his tongue with a laugh, shaking his head. “Alright. I see how it is.”

“And how is it, bird man?”

“Don’t bullshit me. You’ve been in my head before. I don’t know what fucked up game you’re playing here, but we’ve taken you down once. Don’t think for a second we won’t do it again.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“Cut the crap. Alright? You’re the god of mischief for christ’s sake. It’s in your blood.”

Loki clenched his jaw, his chin remaining raised as Clint stood inches from his face.

“You may have everyone else fooled, but not me. You can never belong here.”

Loki puffed his chest out, anger seeping into his gaze, his ears and cheeks burning red-

“Woah, woah, woah-“

Loki snapped his head toward the kitchen island as Tony jogged inside, his hands raised in mock surrender.

“Let’s all just take a breath. Alright? Legolas, you want to, uh...?”

Clint scoffed and turned on his heel as Tony brought a hand to the man’s shoulder and clapped it, turning over his shoulder and offering Loki a smile.

“Makin’ yourself some lunch there, Dark Knight?”

“...Trying to.”

“Right. Carry on.”

Tony led Clint out of the kitchen and heaved a sigh, hand remaining on his friend’s shoulder as they sauntered toward the great windows of the compound.

“...You wanna pull yourself together, dear?”

“He was humming, Tony. Humming a song like he’s innocent.”

“Look, alright, he’s getting there. But we can’t provoke him like that anymore.”

“Why are you okay with this? The guy is the literal master of manipulation and deceit, Tony. And why do you let him hang around the kid?”

“Loki can’t hurt Peter. There’s no one alive that can look in that kid’s eyes and try to hurt him. I don’t make the rules. Besides, Loki needs a friend that isn’t Thor.”

“I’m sorry, since when are we beating around the bush and treating him like royalty? In 2012 he’s killing at random and sending galactic armies down on us and now he’s making sandwiches in our kitchen? Humming?”

“Maybe he likes music.”

“Where did he even hear it?”

“Does that matter? He’s...immersing himself. He’s trying to be better. Who cares where he heard it?”

“It’s just weird,” Clint shrugged, squinting as he looked out the window at the blinding blue sky. “He doesn’t have a phone, and he definitely doesn’t watch TV. Just makes you wonder, you know, where he heard the song.”

Tony raised his jaw and narrowed his ryes suspiciously Clint’s direction, imagining all the ways Clint would flip his lid if he ever found out that Loki, for some reason Clint’s great enemy, was attending Drama Club meetings at the Midtown School of Science and Technology with Tony’s kid.

“...Could’ve been anywhere.”

“Hm.”

Tony’s answer had been far from satisfactory.

Clint was about to head home to his family for the weekend when he spotted Loki sneaking out of the compound, fully clad in a sweatshirt and jeans. He looked over his shoulder once before he was letting the door slip shut behind him.

Clint narrowed his eyes and followed him out, bow in hand.

Loki stopped beside one of Tony’s Audi’s. He looked both ways again anxiously before he was opening the passenger side door.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Clint growled and reached behind him for an arrow, fastening it in place, closing one eye for precision-

Clint’s eyes flew wide when he spotted Tony in the driver’s seat. He choked, quickly lowered his weapon, and watched numbly as Loki climbed inside the vehicle and shut the door behind him. The Audi peeled out of the driveway soon after.

“...What are you up to, Stark?”

Clint followed loosely behind the two in his car for about forty five minutes before Tony finally parked the car.

Midtown School of Science and Technology...?

The two climbed out of the car and began making their way through the front doors. It was four o’clock, so obviously school had ended by then.

Clint narrowed his eyes in suspicion and snuck after them.

They sauntered through the halls casually before Tony led them into the auditorium. Clint hurriedly ran to keep the door from shutting and slipped inside after them, bow and arrows still at the ready.

“...Okay, so, looks like everyone’s here, except...”

Clint crawled behind a row of seats in the audience, squinting as he watched a group of kids conversing, all seated in a circle on stage.

Two kids were standing looking at a clipboard. A blonde girl, sixteen or so by the looks of it, and...

Peter...?

“Oh, nevermind, there he is!”

“Hey, Loki!”

“What, no greeting for me?”

“Hi, Mister Stark.”

Tony patted Loki’s back as Loki hopped over the lip of the stage and crossed to the one empty chair in the circle.

“I beg your pardon,” Loki said in a polite, unfamiliar tone, smiling nervously as he sent an awkward wave to the group of kids. “I appear to have lost track of time.”

“You’re right on time,” the blonde one assured him, her smile beaming. “We’re covering improv today!”

“Oh, great,” Tony grunted as he seated himself on the front row in the audience. “I’m something of an expert at improv myself, you know. I have never planned anything that’s ever happened to me, ever.”

“Do you wanna join, Mister Stark?”

“...Nah. You guys got it.”

“If you say so. Alright, someone get the music.”

One of the kids hopped up from their seat and jogged backstage. A second later, classical music began playing softly around the theatre.

Clint gasped, betrayal flashing in his eyes as he narrowed them.

“The can-can...”

“Let’s warm up with the freeze game! Noes goes!”

The kids each quickly raised a finger to their nose. Loki was the last to do so.

“Aw, okay, Loki’s it for the first round.”

Clint scoffed. It? Loki’s it? Like he’s playing a god damn game of hide and go seek?!

“This should be good,” Tony said from the front row.

Clint saw red.

Peter sensed this, snapping his head out toward the audience in alarm. Tony frowned, turning over his shoulder.

But Clint was already running and fast, the music crescendoing as he grabbed an arrow, positioned it in his bow, leapt over the stage, landed on the apron-

“Get down!”

Peter’s cry of alarm sent everyone screaming and diving to the stage floor, hands over their heads protectively. Loki was standing with wide, terrified eyes as Clint aimed and fired his bow.

“No!”

Peter leapt forward and caught the bow a mere few inches before it could collide with Loki’s face. He stared at it in shock for only a moment before he was turning back to Clint, eyes wide.

“Mister Clint, what’re you-?!”

“Get down, kid.” Clint shot another arrow Peter’s way, the arrow exploding into a net and entrapping Peter inside as he collapsed to the ground. “I’m trying to protect you.”

Loki reached for Peter desperately, though Clint returned his aim to the demigod, expression seething.

“Don’t move a muscle.”

“Are you out of your damn mind?!”

Clint glanced to the side as Tony jumped over the lip of the stage, horrified gaze darting between the arrow aimed at Loki’s face and his kid, kicking and thrashing inside of a net.

“I was about to ask you the same thing.”

“I mean, Jesus Christ, Barton. I shouldn’t even have to tell you how wrong this is.”

“Dammit, Tony, this isn’t real. Okay? None of this is real! Until he’s been inside of your head, until he’s controlled your mind, you’ll never understand that everything he’s ever done was just for show.”

The auditorium doors clicked open. Clint faltered as Natasha, Thor, Steve, and Bruce walked inside, eyes immediately wide at the sight on stage.

“What the hell is going on here?”

“Brother? What is the meaning of this?!”

“Golden Archer here had a bright idea to ambush a high school to settle a grudge. That’s the meaning of this.”

Clint lowered his weapon, clearing his throat uncomfortably.

“...what are you guys doing here?”

“We’re here for the play.” Steve lifted a flyer from his pocket, eyebrow raised. “It’s Loki’s first show. It was on the fridge.”

“...What?!”

Loki sent an accusatory scowl Tony’s way. “You told them?!”

“It...might’ve slipped out over dinner. But I didn’t hang that on the fridge, I swear.”

Loki narrowed his eyes again, this time Peter being the victim.

“...sorry, Lo.”

“Wait...” Clint scoffed, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “You signed him up for this, Tony?”

“...The guy’s already a drama queen. What else was I supposed to do?”

“We came to find you,” Natasha explained to Clint, “but you weren’t in your room. We assumed you already went home for the weekend.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Um, excuse me,” the blonde girl was saying from the floor, her friends around her shivering in fear, “but what is going on? And why is Peter in a net?!”

“Good question, Miss Brant.” Tony strode forward, sending a seething glance Clint’s way before he swiped one of his arrows from out of Clint’s pouch and used it as a knife to slice through the ropes of the net.

“You good, kid?” Tony brushed Peter’s hair out of his eyes gently, worry etched into the lines of his face.

“‘M good, Mister Stark. Thanks.”

Tony was just about to turn around and tear Clint to shreds, though someone beat him to it.

“If you hurt the child again,” Loki warned through gritted teeth, “I’ll be the one holding the arrow to your face.”

Clint scoffed. “See, Tony? He’s still the same Loki. He hasn’t changed a bit.”

“Do you even hear yourself right now? That was eleven years ago. I mean, look at him. He’s wearing a sweatshirt and jeans for godsake. He’s at a Drama Club rehearsal. What’s he gonna do, huh? Kill us all with the plastic prop sword backstage?”

“I don’t-I don’t know, okay? He’s got Asgardian powers. Any second he could turn on us.”

“He would never do that.”

Clint raised an eyebrow as one of the kids rose from the ground hesitantly, hands still raised in the air.

“Loki is...we really like him here. He’s good at drama.”

“Yeah,” Betty nodded, rising to her knees. “He’s the club historian. He takes all of our pictures for us. He even started on a scrapbook.”

The group chorused in agreement. Loki fought a genuine grin when he remembered that the avengers were watching from the audience seating, listening.

“Plus, he’s one of my best friends.” Peter smiled up at Loki from his knees. “Right, Lo?”

Loki bit his lip before he grumbled something under his breath, throwing up his hands in mock surrender.

“Fine. Fine, okay? I may have...I may have bonded with the humans. And I-I listen to music now, and I go to Drama Club meetings, and I wear...whatever style of clothing this is.” Loki turned to Clint, his stance still defensive though his gaze was sincere. “I’ve changed. Or, at least, I’m trying to change. All I need is a second...second chance.”

Loki stuck his hand out for Clint to shake. Clint raised an eyebrow, raising his jaw.

“No tricks?”

“No tricks.”

“No lying? No infinity stones? No alien armies?”

“None whatsoever.”

Despite himself, Clint’s lip quirked ever so slightly in a smile and he was taking Loki’s hand in his, shaking it with a nod.

“Well...alright then.”

Clint slung his bow over his shoulder and turned to face the avengers in the house of the auditorium, his gaze apologetic. Natasha, Steve, and Bruce was smiling up at him. Thor was wiping tears out of the corner of his eye.

“Brava!” Thor clapped, his lip quivering. “Excellent! Excellent display!”

“...You realize that wasnt the show, right?”

“I would be fine if it was.”

“Eh,” Tony shrugged. “I think that’s enough Drama Club for one day. What do you say, kids? Rendezvous for some shawarma?”

The group of teens all chorused in excitement, rising from the ground and all thoughts of danger vanishing from their minds. They slung their backpacks over their shoulders and descended the steps of the stage excitedly.

“Mister Stark,” Peter frowned as Tony wrapped Peter in a side hug, squeezing him. “I thought shwarma was reserved for after missions?”

“Well...” Tony gestured his head toward the lip of the stage, where Loki was dangling his legs off of the side and engaging in conversation with the avengers.

Actually talking. No fighting, no weapons, nothing.

Thor was ruffling his brother’s hair fondly, tears still brimming his eyes. Loki was rolling his own, scoffing at Thor’s adoration.

Clint was still suspicious though Natasha was nudging him in the shoulder, a smirk on her lips. Bruce had an arm draped around Steve’s shoulders as Steve threw his head back with a laugh at something Loki had said.

“...Mission accomplished, kiddo.”

//do not tag as st*rker or th*rki//

[occasionalfics]

touch every star (4)

main masterlist | thor masterlist | ao3 | previous | next

Pairing: Thor X Cinderella!Reader AU

A/N: I’m honestly so glad people like this. It’s not a lot of you reaching out to tell me so, but that’s okay. I think, at the end of the day, I did write this for me before I wrote it for anyone else, and I’m really glad I decided to revisit and share it!

Oh and I changed Odin’s name because of the setting/world, more or less. Odin Odinson didn’t feel right in this context 😂

Warnings: Lots of angst, a really, really shitty boss, but overall this is probably the most pure fic I’ve ever written?

Words: 4,051

//

His mother called a family dinner a week after the gala, early in December, just like she always did. Frigga liked to make holiday plans close to the holidays, and always in person.

Thor wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it, but he knew his mother would be disappointed if he skipped out. And that she wouldn’t accept “work” as a valid excuse for his absence. None of her children were really allowed to miss family dinners. Ever. Even if she never said it like that.

But he’d run out of the office at the last possible minute to be able to make it in time and, of course, that meant he didn’t have time to run home and leave the mask on his kitchen counter. He’d been keeping it in his blazer pockets during the day, and in the most visible spot on his  counter every night since the gala, a reminder of the woman he’d lost twice now.

His only physical reminder.

He felt so stupid for being so easily distracted. Just having her in his arms had been enough to make him forget to ask for her god damn name! It wasn’t like the mask could help track her down, but if he’d just asked what her name was, he’d have something to actually go on.

As he came up from the subway, Thor patted the mask inside his breast pocket, hoping that was a good enough hiding spot to keep it from his family’s prying eyes. 

No such luck, of course. How he thought he could truly fool his mother like that was a question that would later haunt him.

No sooner had he stepped into his parents’ penthouse apartment and pulled the blazer off to hang on their coat rack did the damn mask fall out of the pocket and right onto the floor. And since it was metal falling on hard marble floors, everyone in the vicinity heard it.

Hela, the oldest Odinson sibling - the wily one, which said something with Loki in the running; the one who was able to talk her way out of half of the family dinners when she felt like doing anything but sitting at a table with her father - poked her head out from the kitchen and into the foyer.

“You’re late,” she said flatly, her long, dark hair flying out past her frame in a ridiculously extensive braid. Then her eyes fell to the ground, since Thor had bent down to pick the mask back up. “What’s that?”

“Nothing,” he answered.

But that only intrigued his sister more. Because of course it did. He managed to shove the mask back into his blazer before she made it across the room, but Thor knew there was no way Hela hadn’t seen exactly where he’d put it.

“I’ll give you one chance to tell me what it is, Little Brother, or I’ll find out myself.” Never one to beat around a threat, she was upfront and clear.

The familiarity almost comforted Thor.

He rolled his eyes and ignored her because, really, what was she going to do with a metal masquerade mask? It was Frigga seeing it that he actually feared. He knew that if he didn’t make a big deal of it, Hela most likely wouldn’t, either.

Or so he hoped, anyway.

Moving into the kitchen, he smiled and greeted the rest of his family. Loki and Odin were already seated at the dining room table, Frigga was still working away at the last details of the dinner, and Hela was only just then coming back into the room to pour out drinks. Thor helped by taking dishes and cups to the table, which was more than he could say for his brother, at the very least.

“Nice to see you again, Loki,” he said, only somewhat teasing. His brother had a propensity for travel, and for causing mischief wherever he went. Usually it was all in good fun, but it also meant that the family often wouldn’t hear from him for weeks on end. So, in a way, it actually was nice to see him again.

The youngest Odinson sibling smiled widely, almost to the point of being fake. “You as well, Brother.”

Within minutes, Frigga forced everyone into their normal spots around the table with she and her husband, Freyr, at opposite ends and her children - Thor and Loki on one side, Hela on the other - around them.

They dug into the food, making the normal smalltalk for a family of five full grown adults. And then, when Frigga asked her children if there was anything new going on before getting into whatever she’d called the dinner for, Hela smirked.

Thor should’ve known he couldn’t trust his older sister with this. He was the Golden Child - literally and figuratively; Thor was the only one that had inherited their mother’s blond hair where his siblings had dark, dark hair that resembled Freyr in his younger days - and Hela had always been jealous of that. She’d never done anything to, like, harm him or Loki, but she did whatever she could to put them both through the ringer. Reasonably.

“Thor’s hiding something from us,” she said, point-blank. It was that easy for her. “I found a woman’s masquerade mask in his jacket.”

Frigga stared at him a moment, a curious glance thrown in his direction. He was beginning to wonder if she knew what to ask him, but then she sat forward, and he knew it was coming.

“What ever for?”

He rolled his eyes. Part of him really wanted to put this behind him by making something up. But the other part of him, the Romantic part that couldn’t forget the woman he’d danced with, hoped that speaking into the Universe what he wanted might bring it to him. 

After all, some force in the Universe had already brought her twice.

“I kind of met someone,” he said as calmly as he could, looking anywhere but into the eyes of anyone else at the table. The ceiling was nice and distracting, for instance.

Frigga, on the other hand, went straight into a fit. She started out making unintelligible noises before getting out a breathy and loud, “Excuse me?!”

Thor shrugged, knowing that now there was absolutely no reason to cut corners. Hela had started this conversation, so why not just do what she would at this point? “Well, I-I didn’t so much meet someone as I...uh, bumped into her twice, and then we danced at the holiday gala.”

No one had a response to that, which surprised Thor. His siblings almost always had something to say. His father nearly never held his opinion back, and his mother was well known for her unnecessary reactions.

It took him a second to look up at his family, notice they’d all stopped what they were doing, and sit back to ask, “What?”

“I’d be the first to wager no one was expecting that,” Loki muttered.

“Who is this woman?” Frigga asked.

Thor wished he had an answer. Wanted one more than anything, but not just for his family’s sake.

God, he wanted to know her name so badly. Wanted to know her, beyond knowing that she worked on his floor and had the prettiest laugh in the entire world. He remembered her in that dress - that baby blue that made her look soft and elegant - and wished, so badly, that he wasn’t about to let his family down.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly.

Hela couldn’t help herself but chuckle. Thor didn’t even blame her for it, either. Their father, however, cleared his throat and glared at her.

“I’m sorry,” Frigga interrupted. “Did you say you don’t know the woman that mask you’re carrying around belongs to?”

“Uh. Yes?”

And that set both of his siblings to laughter. Which he’d anticipated, if only in the last few minutes of the conversation. So he let it happen until their father had enough. All he did was put his fork down loudly, but it was enough to call the table to order. Just not without glares right back at him from his oldest and youngest.

“Do you have a way to find her, dear?” Frigga asked, calmer now, like nothing had happened in between her previous question and this one.

Thor might never know how his mother was always able to pinpoint the worst part of every situation, but he did know that she was always the first to offer a solution. So sometimes it was hard for him to explain every single detail; if he got it out anyway, Frigga would give him something to help.

“I do not.”

Suddenly, he wasn’t hungry anymore. His initial reaction to admitting that was to wish he was back at work, not thinking about this woman that kept getting away from him. But he couldn’t really escape her there, either, if she worked on his floor.

“Can I see the mask?” Frigga asked. “Please.”

With nothing left to hide, Thor nodded. He got up from the table and went back into the foyer, gently pulling the mask from his jacket as if Frigga seeing it could fix everything. That wasn’t possible and he wasn’t letting himself believe that it was, but he also couldn’t let go of his hope.

Hope to see that woman again. Hope to, finally, be able to tell her who he was as well as ask who she was. Hope that they could find something more than small moments on elevators and dancefloors.

He brought the mask to his mother directly, putting it beside her napkin before returning to his seat. He forced himself to eat a little bit while she examined the metalwork. No one said anything again, which unsettled Thor more than helped the situation.

“She was at the Stark holiday gala?” Frigga asked finally.

Thor only nodded.

“If she came alone, which I assume she did if you danced together, then she’s most likely a Stark employee, is she not?”

“She is. I think she works in one of the offices on the same floor as mine.” He swallowed hard and forced out, “I just don’t know which one.”

“Well that’s no problem.” Frigga handed the mask to Hela, who passed it back to Thor. “Your phone has camera capabilities. Post fliers, send a blast email. Whatever it takes to find this woman.” She cut off a piece of her fish, then looked him dead in the eye. “You wouldn’t be carrying her mask around if you didn’t want to find her, dear. I know you at least that well.”

---

All she thought about for days was the tall blonde man with lighting around one eye and a dashing smile that lit up the whole god damn room around him. It wasn’t fair. He was...so far out reach in far too many ways.

First, he was definitely out of her league. Nat and Wanda might not agree, but they thought she was too good for everyone.

Second, she still had no idea who he was. Whenever someone went past her office, she’d look up and hope it was him, but it never was. It was like he came in earlier and left later than she did every day, and never once did he appear to leave his office. Either that, or he worked on a part of the floor she couldn’t see from her desk.

She thought about going to search for him every day, but Sitwell kept her far too busy to spare a moment on a whim. A dream.

That’s what he was: a dream. Tall and lovely and kind. Inviting. At least those are the things he’d let her see. She wasn’t sure what else there was, but she wanted to know so badly.

But by the end of her days, she was so tired she never really spared a thought for searching. She went on autopilot after six, walking absently into the elevator without thinking twice. Her thoughts all turned to dinner and bed by the time she made it down to the subway, and only when she was halfway home did she remember she had a hypothetical mission.

But really, who was she kidding? She wasn’t going to find him. If it hadn’t happened in the week since the gala, it wasn’t going to happen, and such was her luck.

Nat, however, seemed to be blessed, in comparison. She’d met a man before the gala, who’d then invited her as his date, and things seemed to be going well between them.

“He’s...interesting,” she said when Wanda asked about him one night. “So smart. Like, intimidatingly smart. Or at least he would to anyone else.” She chuckled at herself, pulling one leg up close to her on the couch so she could paint her toenails.

“You are the smartest person I know,” Y/N said. And she wasn’t exaggerating; Natasha had a knack for keeping up with the best minds, the fastest thinkers. Y/N had gone to a few photoshoots with her at the start of their roommateship, and she’d seen how Nat handled herself in a room full of self important people who only saw her as a marketing tool. So it wasn’t a surprise to Y/N that this man had piqued her interest with his brains first.

“We have a lot of fun together.”

“I’m almost sorry I missed you guys at the gala,” Y/N said. She meant it as a joke, but it caught Wanda’s attention, apparently.

“I’m sorry, what?” she asked, suddenly blinking fast in disbelief.

Y/N and Nat made eye contact for a second, then nodded like they’d communicated something top secret.

“The gala was super crowded,” Nat said. “I spent all night with Bucky and his friends. One of ‘em ran off to get us drinks and never came back. I’m still not convinced he didn’t get eaten by the crowd.”

“This was the first year the whole company was invited,” Y/N told them. “I might send in a suggestion for new venues if that’s gonna be the standard for next year.”

“But-wait, you didn’t text each other to meet up at some point?” Wanda asked, clearly still confused.

Nat shrugged. “I mean, I did text, but by that time Y/N had already left.”

“I had to get home to give you the dress.”

Wanda stared for a minute. That was all she did. She’d even stopped fiddling with her phone. It was like she’d short circuited or something, and it started to scare her roommates when it went on for well over thirty seconds.

“What?” Y/N asked, brows creasing in part-frustration and part-concern.

“So you went alone to a black tie gala, then left early because I asked for the dress?” Wanda asked.

“Uh. Yeah. What’s wrong with that?”

“Did you do anything at the gala? Or did you just stand around in a crowd in that amazing dress?”

“Hey,” Nat called softly, nudging Wanda with her heel. “Chill.”

“I am chill,” she said back. “I’m just a little concerned…”

“Why?” Y/N asked, a certain kind of panic setting in. A voice in her head that sounded all too familiar - her stepmother’s voice - started filling in the gaps Wanda left behind. You have too much time, and I know just the way to fill it.

But a calmer voice inside told her that Wanda was nothing like that woman.

“You were so excited to go to the party,” Wanda said softly, scooting closer to Y/N so she could put her hand on her knee. “You deserved to have a good time.”

“Well it’s not like I just stood around,” Y/N defended. And then, a little absently, “Although, I probably would have if I’d actually gotten in line for the bar.” 

Of course she’d gone to the gala hoping to see him, but from the moment of stepping through the doors and into the immense crowd, she’d basically given up on that hope. There were too many people to navigate around, so she’d set her sights on the bar in search of a distraction. Which then, that, too, had been dashed when she had found her Elevator Crush.

“Okay,” Wanda said, motioning for her to keep going. “So what did you do then?”

Y/N felt her face flush. She couldn’t stop the smile from forming on her face, even as she tried to hide it by covering her mouth with her hand. Her roommates both saw right through that; Nat got excited and nearly attacked Y/N to move her arm while Wanda sat up straighter and let it all happen.

“You met someone!” Nat insisted. And when Y/N made no other response but a long, drawn out whine, she said, “Oh my god, you did!”

The laughter she and Y/N let out then was undeniable. Unstoppable. Nat laughed because she was right (and so did Y/N), and Y/N laughed because the memory of dancing with her Elevator Crush - her Lightning Man - brought butterflies to her stomach.

“Dish! Tell us everything!” Wanda said, smiling as she moved to lean her elbow on the back of the couch and face both of her roommates.

Y/N figured there was no time like the present. And since she’d been caught, she may as well let it out. Maybe if she told her roommates, something out in the ether might hear and make things happen, she figured.

“I, uh. I met a guy on the elevator when I was leaving one day. But then I kinda freaked out on him and ran to the subway and just had a feeling I was never gonna see him again. But...I don’t know why I thought I’d find him at the gala, since I knew everyone was gonna be there, but I did. I just knew. And then he stepped on the dress and-”

“Wait,” Wanda cut in. “He did what?!”

“It was fine. Not a scratch on it.” Y/N shrugged, but she knew that part of the story wasn’t really nothing. Fine it might be, but it was of consequence when the two women with her now helped her pay for that dress. “He bent down to help me fix the dress but there was nothing on it. And I guess my mask wasn’t enough to really hide anything and he recognized me.”

“Holy shit,” Nat said.

Y/N had always thought that Natasha, for all her badassery and intelligence, was secretly a hopeless romantic when push came to shove. She smiled wider at the whispered curse, then went on.

“And then we danced. All night. We talked a little and he made me laugh and stuff. It was nice.”

“I feel like you’re downplaying this,” Wanda accused, but her tone was as teasing as the single raised brow thrown at Y/N. “I think you really like him!”

“Who is he?” Nat asked. “Maybe he knows Bucky!”

And that’s when Y/N’s stomach and heart both sank into her butt.

“Oh, uh. That’s kinda the thing.” She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to work herself up to tell her friends how foolish she’s been. Twice she’s met this man, twice he’s given her his time and attention (which she knows isn’t everything, but it is something), and twice she’s run off from him without giving him her name or asking for his.

“My phone went off before I got around to asking who he was. I had to get out of there to get the dress home in time for-”

“Oh no.” Wanda’s face blanched, and her expression went blank. “Oh honey, no, no! I would’ve understood!”

“But you needed the dress-“

Wanda put one hand each on Y/N’s shoulders, shaking gently as she said, “And you deserved to enjoy yourself and have a hot guy ogle you! Oh my god, Y/N, you totally could’ve stayed!”

“But we agreed-“

“Y/N, you’re the best and most noble friend anyone could ask for but god damn it, you should have stayed! You should've gotten his name and lived happily ever after and, for the record, I totally would’ve forgiven you for keeping the dress!”

She just stared at Wanda because, honestly, that kind of understanding didn’t compute. Y/N had never had friends like her current roommates before. She’d never shared something so lovely as that dress with anyone before, and she’d taken the responsibility of sharing very seriously. It had never occurred to her that she could apologize and ask for more just because she’d been given so little.

“What was he wearing, Y/N?” Nat asked, drawing both of her roommates’ attention to her.

She tried to remember. His suit had been nice, she could remember that much, but his eyes… The bright blue hue of them distracted her. She couldn’t recall what color the suit had been, no matter how hard she tried. To be fair, she hadn’t spent that much time looking at his suit,

But she had spent a decent amount of time looking at his face. His mask.

“He had on this gorgeous black and gold mask with this silver branch-like detailing,” she said, eyes drifting to the corner of the room as her memory sailed. “It kind of looked like...like lightning.”

Nat and Wanda watched the dreamy look on Y/N’s face. It was a glance they’d never seen on her before, but they liked what it implied. Wanda smiled back, and Nat’s jaw dropped as she reached for her phone.

“Ho-ly shit!” she said, hitting each syllable individually, popping up onto her knees energetically. “Holy shit holy shit holy shit!”

“What?” Wanda asked, sitting back a bit.

“I know who he is!” She fiddled with her phone for a second, and though neither of them noticed, no part of this conversation was bringing Y/N back from the lofty, far-off place she’d gone to.

She was busy remembering their dance, his hands on her, his laughter in her vicinity. The way he’d immediately recognized her. The fact that, for some reason, he didn’t blame her for running out of that elevator like he’d done something dangerous.

She liked him for all of it.

And right after realizing that, he was placed right in her line of sight. On Nat’s phone. Google Images popped up one after another, all of this tall blonde man and his incredible eyes. His indescribable smile. The easy way he carried himself, despite knowing he was on the large side of the human spectrum.

“Is this him?” Nat asked.

Y/N nodded. She looked up at the search bar.

Thor Odinson.

So that was his name.

“But- how did you know?” she asked, whipping her head toward Nat.

“He’s a friend of Bucky’s,” her roommate answered. “Like, a close friend, I think. They’re all part of this group of Stark directors and execs and I met him, I’m guessing before he ran into you.”

Thor. The name certainly suited him, and the mask made sense now.

“Oh my god, this is amazing! Y/N, I can tell Bucky you’re the elevator girl! He can help and-”

“No.”

Even she couldn’t believe she’d said it.

“Bu- What?” Nat asked, her face scrunching up.

Y/N stood to move away from her friends. Moving around the lovely, light memories of dancing and smiles was the fact that this man - Thor, her Elevator Crush - was an executive. Or, at least, a director of some office within the building. He was way, way above her, and if Jasper Sitwell had taught her anything, it was that reaching too far was dangerous.

No wonder she never saw him around. He was probably way too busy to deal with her on a regular basis.

But she couldn’t explain that to Nat, who had an answer prepared before Y/N realized a question had been asked.

“No,” she repeated. “It’ll be better if I find him,” she then lied. “But I appreciate the thought. Really.” She forced a smile, but all three women knew each other well enough to know it was as fake as the promise of looking for him was.

[nemobookaholic]

What if…

I don‘t know if this is a mistake or not, but it feels like the universe is giving me signs to do this,… so here I go.

Recently I‘ve started to write a Loki fanfic. I was so anxios about the english grammar, that I asked a friend to check on it. She read it and told me, it‘s not that bad. But she‘s still very busy and even if I asked her, to check on the grammar and send it back to me, it feels like it takes like forever. And this happens to me with all my betas and all the storys I gave away. I‘m still afraid to do this step, but I want it out there. Today it feels, like I have to or miss the chance, so here is the first part of ‚What if…‘ I hope it‘s not that bad and I would be happy about constructive criticism.

What if... Loki where a 21st century woman?

Scene 1

‘I hate this place! Not that I haven’t seen worse, but it’s dangerous, even for me. I’m starving, this whole planet is inhospitable! It’s more than time to leave. Only that using the Tesseract to teleport, takes a lot of power... wouldn’t be that hurtful, if I hadn’t had to escape from, in my opinion, this way too annoying bastard. And he still follows me somehow. By Odin's beard, I should have killed him the time I had the chance. Stabbed him in the back, of course, just without the expected result. Since I’ve left my originally realm, a lot of things happened, mostly not to my satisfaction. Me sitting on the throne I deserve wasn’t one of it. The only higher court is this piece of stone I am sitting on. Would be utterly boring, to rule this world. It doesn’t even deserve that name, it’s a desert. Thinking about it, why not go and visit Midgard again? I haven’t seen my brother in ages and I guess that’s the place to meet him. I gain all the power the planet spare with me and use it, to start a new, different adventure. One that might bring some mischief!’

We see Loki disappear from the stone dessert. Where he sat seconds before, like it would have been the throne of Asgard, legs open and hands on the rocks that surrounded him. Eying the environment with disgust, out of a pale face and dark rings under his bloodshot eyes.

Everything he leaves behind is a blue gleaming, which last for a while, until it fades completely. In the end there is nothing left to proof his short residence.

Scene 2

We are inside a crowd. In a well known theatre, that has an open roof and reminds us of an wooden O. It’s dark outside, but the crowd standing around us, keeps us warm. We stare up to the actors on stage, who are playing a fairy tale in a midsummer night’s dream. Suddenly the people around us start to whisper and raise their heads. We follow their sight to the balcony where a man, bound in leather and with golden horns on his head, stands. Obviously he isn’t part of the cast. Voices, about some promotion gag, becoming louder. How well do we know about Loki from all those movies and comics? But this guy is new and definitely not Matt Damon. As we can see, he isn’t just playing a role and his behaviour is far from method acting. His fascial expressions are extraordinary, like a man who literarily came from another dimension. We can read from his body language, how much he enjoys the crowd cheering at him. Until a sudden change on his face shows us a second of fear, like he had just remembered something. Indeed he is hiding it pretty well, as we start to question our power of observation, thats how fast he got back control.

Loki is leaving gracefully, walking backwards and that’s the last thing we see of him.

‘Those puny mortals are staring at me. They seem pleased by my appearance. It’s joyful to have them cheering at me, quite different to my last visit. Thinking of it makes me realise, I’m not out of danger yet! How could I forget about this stupid Agency, that is somehow connected with Thor. It wasn’t a good idea to show my face to all those people. Maybe one of them is in the crowd, already calling for the bloody Avengers - this time I don’t have an army to my support. Even if I’d decimated their number last time, who can tell if they didn’t recruit more, since I’ve been gone? I’ll have to go now! I’m able to get out of here without losing my face. A god doesn’t run away, even though it would be wise to get disguised for a little while. Of course I could become an animal, but that’s what Thor would expect of me and probably figure it out quickly. No, I have to do something he would never expect. Speaking the spell, I think of all the women I know, with mother leading the way - for fathers sake am I tired! Didn’t even realise it until this very moment. I feel the darkness coming closer, as I slide down some wall, sense my body transforming right before the darkness takes over.’

We caught Loki again, sitting on a corner, head leaning against the wall behind him, eyes closed. His body looks strange. It’s difficult to see the shape of it, like you would try to see trough some fog, surrounding his skin. His hair becomes lighter every second until it reaches the colour of sand. We can’t see it, but even his body shrinks a little. The wardrobe changes from asgardian to, probably stolen out of Natashas closet. Loki wears black jeans, a green t-shirt and a also black leather jacket now. Underneath the shirt a breast starts to grow, while other ‘things’ become less until they disappear. This is so much more than a simple illusion and Loki can be happy about being unconscious, so he doesn’t have to feel the pain of his transformation.

Scene 3

As for Loki, we know he is a clever fellow. Maybe that’s what brings doom on his own occasion. We remember, he is a she now and she’s still sitting there, holding the Tesseract, which slowly slips from her hand.

To give us certainty, yes he used it as a source of power to make a true transformation, not willingly though. He was at a state of weakness, where he didn’t think much about his actions. And he needed the support, as for this world we can sense slight traces of magic. Of course every use of sorcery has it’s price and we can assume, that if Loki had seen the bill, he probably wouldn’t be willing to pay for it.

Anyway, events have been started and we will have to live with the consequences. For Loki it means, that there is an orange circle appearing out of nothing, not noticed by her mindless shell. Just a small one, producing a quiet sound, like wind howling trough grass. Out of this hole in time and space, we see a hand appearing, grabbing for the blue glowing cube. Taking it out of reach for the mischievous god.

She will sleep now, for a long while. Trying to regain some power. What she doesn’t know is the fact, that the dimension she slipped in so careless, doesn’t contain much witchcraft. What, well hopefully, will keep her busy, so the other realms can recover, at least, from her evil deeds.

And her slumber won’t be broken. Not even as two strangers cross Lokis path. For them it’s a broken, but still beautiful woman, sleeping in an unusual place. We sense the compassion on their faces. They share a long moment of silent conversation, just by expressions. The woman, a goth girl, seems to be wary about what she reads in the face of her companion. The guy indeed seems to be unafraid. He gets closer, grabbing Loki at her shoulder, shaking her. She shows no reaction at all.

‘Is she dead?! We should get help,’ the female says.

‘Still breathing. Don’t be such a chicken! I think she might be one of our kind … let’s take her home and allow her to rest,’ the guy replies.

‘You are serious, aren’t you? I can’t believe, I even consider helping you … come on then!’

The both of them take the girl between them, pulling her up, slowly starting the long walk home. It looks rather funny, for Loki is a tall woman and these strangers are smaller than her. They haul her more as you could describe it as carrying, but at least they’ll reach a house that they get into.

Meanwhile Loki still doesn’t move any bone, would have been helpful with the stairs actually. We don’t know if she realises anything of what is happening, but according to the abuse done to her body we may doubt it. Even when they drop her into a bed, she’s like a corpse.

‘Kevin, do you really think this was a good idea?’ the woman asks.

‘Come on Beatrix. Don’t you think it’s what humanity claim from us? I will sit with her and wait until she wakes, if it brings peace to you. You can go to bed if you like.’

The guy smiles at her and she can’t help herself and smiles back.

‘You are too kind for this world, you know?’ she kisses him on the forehead and leaves the room. Giving the burden of a long night’s watch to him, as he’d requested.

Scene 4

‘This must be a dream, I guess it by the fact, that mother is with me. Her soft touch, the calm voice and the love I feel while she looks at me, are far away from me these days. I miss her, knowing well what’s going to happen once I’ll return to Asgard, keeps me away from there. It isn’t my home anymore and that’s what will make her safe. We always had a strong connection, that’s why I believe her, when she tells me, to find my own way. Even if I know perfectly that it’s just a dream, her next words are predictable as she tells me to seek happiness in what I have. Only that I own nothing at all, I was promised a throne! Mothers eyes darken, like she could read my thoughts. She turns her back on me. I call out to her, knowing what’s going to happen next. As in all those dreams before, I see her dying.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t change her fate. It’s like I’m cursed, every time I come close to her, she’s dying.

“Mother …,” it’s just a whisper of disbelieve on my lips, yet it’s enough to wake me from this horrible dream. Watching myself causing her death again and again, doesn’t lose any of it’s horror. Through a shroud of tears I blink my way into reality. I can’t remember what happened. The ceiling I’m staring at, doesn’t look familiar to me. My tong licks over my dry lips, don’t know the last time I actually drank something? My stomach hurts, food seems to be even longer ago. I’m weak and I hate knowing so. I use all my senses, to get more informations about my whereabouts, as I am unable to move. There is some comfort in the way I lie, a pillow under my head and a blanket that keeps me warm. Knowing all this, doesn’t really help me to figure, where I am or how I get here. The try to sit up and have a better view got amiss, I’m far to weak. A sight of surprise escapes my throat and I fall back into the down.

‘Are you finally awake?’ a voice from my right asks and I manage to turn my head, to see who was talking. A redhead caught my sight, he looks quite young. It’s not easy to tell with those Midgardian folks. ‘How are you? Feeling a bit better?’ he smiles at me, trying to make me trust him, I suppose. NOBODY ever ask me, how I feel!

‘Am I your prisoner?’ is the first thing I need to know.

‘No, god no! Why would you think … never mind. Of course you are free to leave any time. But you are also allowed to stay, if you need help,’ is the reply.

I try to figure out what kind of game he’s playing, but it doesn’t occur to me. It makes no sense. I’m staring at him in silence.

‘Don’t know what you had to go trough till now, however I promise you’re perfectly safe with me. Uhm - maybe it calms you - if I tell you that I’m gay? I won’t touch you. And if that isn’t enough, I could call for my flatmate. She helped to bring you here by the way.’

Does that little scum really believe, I, the god of mischief, would be scared by a mortal?! And how does it make things any better, if he adds his sexual interest - oh wait - I completely forgot about the disguise I’m in. Of course he must mistaken me for a weak creature like himself.

‘I am a goddess and not afraid of your puny, gay presence!’ I tell him to demonstrate how less I’m impressed.

‘Uuuuhm, ‘kay?’ now the redhead is staring at me. Not the effect I had in mind. He seems more fascinated than afraid. There is more, even when he’s hiding it well, an expression of anger crosses his mimic for a second. ‘Listen, if I where you, I would think carefully about my next words, cause if you are one of those homophobic assholes, you can go back from where you’ve come!’ Now we have context.

‘Ehehehe. You have no idea who you are talking to, do you? Where I come from, nobody cares about the gender of your love. I didn’t meant to make an insult on that topic, you insisted on being so. I wanted to warn you, that I am dangerous. But as words seem to have no effect on you, take this!’ with these words I grab for the Tesseract in my magic pocket, just to find it isn’t there. ‘Where IS IT? Did you maggots dare to steal the stone from me? I am Loki of Asgard and you are a dead man, if you don’t tell me where you’ve put my belongings!’ I yell at him, this time pulling out a knife. The mortal keeps his hands up in defence.

‘First of all, you didn’t carry any belongings with you, as we picked you up. Second, you really believe all those shit you are saying, don’t you? That’s quite of interest to me and I may be able to help you. Third and last, threaten me with a butterknife hasn’t the impact on me, you might think. I’ve experienced worse, you know,’ he looks at me, like I’ve gone mad. I however look down at my hands to find , well not what I’d expected. What is wrong with this dimension? The knife disappears.

‘Take me back to the place where you’ve found me,’ I press the words through my lips, trying to stand up, failing again.

‘If I promise to get you back there, would you behave for the rest of the day?’ he’s waiting for an answer. As I’ve said enough already, I just mutter my approval. ‘Good. Anyway, you’ll have to wait, cause it is closed right now. We’ll be there by the time it opens, to search for your stone.’

‘Tesseract! It’s a blue glowing cube.’

‘Yeah, whatever. We’ll seek for it, I promise.’

‘Sounds like the stuff Hina keeps talking about,’ a rasping voice comes from outside the room, ‘what kind of freak did we brought in here Kevin?’ a woman appears in the door, examining me and so do I. She has a strange colour of hair, that is somewhere between grey and light blue - but not the right age for it - half of her head is shaved, while on the other side the hair grows over the shoulder. She looks skinny, not in a very healthy way. She might be a warrior. At least her clothes look like she had a fight, all black and ripped into pieces. Now that I’m on the case, I get a closer look on the redhead too. He appears neat and well-fed, nothing unusual about him. Even his style is screaming: “I’m like everybody else.” Maybe except the golden ring in his right ear. I can’t understand, how both of them can be friends, not to talk about the third party, in which room we obviously are. There are colourful pictures all over the walls, a lot of books and art supplies spread across the desk next to the window. How can anybody life here on free will?

‘Does she has a name?’ the woman breaks the silence, asking her friend but still looking at me. He seem uncomfortable with the situation, that’s why I introduce myself.

‘I am Loki of Asgard.’

‘Sure and I’m Jesus Christ! What’s wrong with you?’ she waves her hand in front of her face, I do not know for what reason.

‘I beg your pardon, daughter of Christ, everything is completely fine with me! It’s not my fault, your tiny brains can’t keep up with a god.’ If looks could kill, we would be dead by now. She indeed has something of a warrior.

‘Woah, bitchfight! Calm down ladies,’ Kevin tries to ease the situation. I don’t know if it’s him who finally breaks the ice, or my stomach, that is rumbling loudly into the silence. I’m ashamed because of the betrayal caused by my own body. My cheeks feel hot all of a sudden.

‘See? Maybe we should all have breakfast first, afterwards we can come back to the topic,’ another short silence follows to Kevins words and he must have taken it as agreement, cause he gets up, leaving the room, gently pushing the girl aside. She follows him, not without giving me a last evil look.

My leg slips out of the bed, carefully, followed by the other one. It takes some effort to get up, in the end I stand on my unpleasant feet. Looking down, the difference isn’t to suppress. It was easy with the female voice, as I’m used to different illusions. The new point of view however, let me figure out some things. On my way out of the room I walk past a mirror. After a short glance I have to stop and walk back, to get a closer look. The spell I’ve used works perfectly, way to perfect! I can’t trust mine eyes. My hand wanders across my new face and I can’t but accept the tiny differences. Not that it would bother me, how familiar I still look to myself, it’s more the fact that everything is so damn real. I’ve tried this kind of magic more than once, it never worked quite well. So how come, I was able to work such a difficult spell on the edge of my powers? Something is going on here and I need to find out about it. Plus I need to get the Tesseract back. Thinking back, I’m already sorry, I’ve left the last planet.’

Scene 5

Loki is sitting inside a small kitchen, sipping on a cup of tea, so do his new flatmates. The atmosphere is in low spirits and all we can hear is the noise of their dishes. It’s obvious, the Midgardians don’t believe a single word she had told them, oddly enough they want to help her, for reasons we shall find out, as the story continues. Yet here they are, remain silent, until we start to wonder who’ll be the first one to talk again?

‘Do you feel better now?’ of course it would be Kevin, what did you think? ‘A nice little cupper and some beans with eggs always have been the best way to have a good start into the day, isn’t it?’ he grins like a Cheshire cat, obviously food is his guilt pleasure. Loki just sits in the corner, raising one eyebrow, while Beatrix seems to relax a bit.

‘That’s what I love you for, you know. Just that stupid grin,’ she giggles.

‘What you mean stupid? Is it a crime to be happy after some good food?’ Kevin looks puzzled and Bea starts to laugh. They fill the room with joy, but can’t pass it on to Loki, who still sits in her corner, without moving, or even showing some empathy. There is just this sad look on her face, we can only guess about. Maybe it is, because she’s reminded of all those times she saw Thor and his friends, having fun like that. Or it is, cause she never was a part of the group, but always watched from aside. Probably she doesn’t know it herself, nonetheless it makes her aware of the big gap between them and how impossible it seems, to ever be on that side of the table. To be the one who laughs with friends.

She can’t get away soon enough.

‘Is it time now to seek for my lost item? - Please,’ she adds after a short break. Must have come to her mind, that they’ve shared their food with her, so the try to be a bit more kind isn’t all waisted time. Not that it make her care.

But how can we know, by just watching the expressions on Lokis face? Well we don’t, but we know her well enough to interpret every tiny movement, ain’t we?

‘You see, it wasn’t that hard,’ Kevin smiles again and takes a look onto his watch, ‘we’ll need a bit more patience. One more hour and we can go,’ he tells Loki, who’s wriggling on her chair.

‘I probably shall not feel like it, but I’m still hungry. Glancing at the girl, who has barely even touched her food. I can’t help myself, but staring at her plate in desire. I can’t remember, the last time I have been that hungry, to forget all my manners.

‘Bea love, are you eating any of this yet?’ Kevin must have followed my sight, what makes me look away in shame.

‘Nope,’ is all she says. That’s when he takes the plate and slide it into my direction. I take the offered food and eat it as fast as possible, to not extend this annoying situation. I’m even more ashamed, that I’ve just behaved like my brother would, how pathetic!’

Scene 6

We see Loki and Kevin at the Globe, on the corner where they’ve picked her up. Seeking for the cube, while we can see on her face, how, with every second, she becomes more desperate.

‘It must be here! I’m stuck in this bloody realm if we can’t find it …,’ she mutters in distress.

‘Maybe some stranger picked it up? We can ask, if it was handed over down there?’ Kevin offers.

‘That’s impossible! It’s nothing a mortal could handle!’ she yells at him, throwing her hands in the air.

‘Fine! What would you suggest to do next?!’

‘I DON’T KNOW! I need to think,’ she turns around, walking away.

‘Take your time. I’ll be in the big building next door, if it’s of any interest to you.’

We look after Kevin, as he disappears in the Tate modern, while Loki is taking a walk along the Themse.

‘How? I definitely had escaped the guy and he can’t be that fast in tracking me. It’s impossible. Somebody else must have taken the Tesseract. But who? There is nearly no magic in this world and according to Kevin, nothing like gods or celestial beings to ever be seen. New York wasn’t attacked by the Chitauri and the Avengers are heroes out of comic books. What ever that means. Sure there are a few individuals, who would like to steal the Tesseract, but none of them could come here without it’s powers. What plan could this person follow? It makes no sense … unless … unless they want me to be stuck here. Like a very luxurious prison, I bet Thor or Odin are involved in it! Can’t stand, that I’ve escaped their judgement. To teach me a lesson, probably. Who else would want to keep me here? A world where no ‘harm’ can be done. Pah! Don’t they know me at all, they should know better. A planet with any kind of population can be ruled. Only, this time I need to be smarter. Watching the subjects, learn their habits and find a possibility to submit them. In the end, all of them are going to kneel! Ehehehehe.’

We can’t hear Lokis inner Monolog, but by her evil grin and by the fact, that she turned around and walks quickly into the direction she just came from, we can submit, she has something mischievous in mind.

Scene 7

Loki is entering the Tate, with a couple of tourists. It’s a mystery the guards doesn’t stop her, well maybe not, she must be already aware, of how to use her body the right way. Finally she’s in the building, surrounded by people, who stop, not far from the entrance, to admit the great hall. We can tell from the look an her face, that she isn’t impressed at all. No wonder, there are much bigger buildings in Asgard. Anger is crossing her face. As of course the building is still big and she’ll have to seek for Kevin. She wanders around, visibly relaxing. That’s the magic of art and maybe the place. We follow her, slowly now. Studying one painting after another, strolling through the halls. We might get the impression, she completely forgot about Kevin. She already made it through a few levels, when she spots him. He’s sitting in an armchair, in front of a big glass-wall, staring down at the people walking around downstairs. Loki slips into the chair next to him.

‘Did you find your cube?’ Kevin asks.

‘No …,’ she braces her head into her hands. They sit in silence for a while, watching the people who have the size of ants, from their point of view.

‘Why don’t you look at the paintings, instead of staring down there?’ Loki can’t find much amusement in doing so.

‘I like to study people. That’s my job and I can’t turn it off. Right before you’ve joined me, there was a couple sitting next to me and I’ve been listening to their fight. It was pretty interesting and I might had followed them, if I didn’t figure, you should be up here every minute. I saw you enter the building. Took you a while to find me, aye?’ Kevin leans back in his chair, finally looking at Loki.

‘I have been learning about the midgardian paintings. Some of them are quite beautiful,’ she shrugs her shoulders, ‘so you get payed for spying on people?’ We recognise interest flickering on her face.

‘Hahaha, no. Not in the way you might think. I’m a psychologist-to-be. People come to me and tell me their problems and I’ll analyse how to help them. Explains my manic interest into other peoples behaviour. Talking of it, I thought, you would be an interesting case. Would you allow me, to have a few sessions with you? You don’t have to do it for free of course.’

‘Now he comes to the point, about what he was hiding from me. I knew, this guy was up to something. Waiting patiently for his offer, so I can see, if it’s worth my time. He seems to think for a moment, probably about how to formulate it, before he speaks again.

‘As I’ve figured, you don’t have a place to stay for longer?’ he asks and I nod, ‘so in case you agree, we could come to an arrangement. You can stay in Hinas room, she’ll be away for a while. In return I want an hour every second day, where you will answer my questions honestly. Without any pressure, I promise. How does that sound to you?’

What an unique offer, he surly doesn’t know much about me.

‘I agree, but under one condition, you’ll have to answer my questions too. Do we have a deal?’

We shake hands, no more words needed. This was way too easy.’

[raveness1313]

Shadows

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

TW: Angst, Depression, Trauma

A/N: This was my first time writing this type of fic before but I kinda loved it. Might do request or something in the future. Also might make a part 2 for this story. Enjoy! Also feel free to like and reblog if you'd like

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It was a fair assumption to say you were in a shit mood. Everyone in the building felt it, the anger boiling over. You knew it wasn’t entirely your fault the mission had failed, but some part of you, the part in love with Wanda, couldn’t help but be angry.

It was supposed to be an easy recon mission. Clint, Bucky and you had been sent to the newest hydra facility. Your ability to absorb into the shadows made you the best candidate for infiltration while the boys took a more traditional stake out approach. As you let the shadows carry you through the facility, you felt yourself being drawn to a familiar sensation, losing yourself in the darkness of the facility. The shadows held the memories of all the atrocities hydra committed. The screams of those who were tortured became a symphony of sadness, drowning you in the dark. In the distant corners of your mind you heard Clint and Bucky calling out to you but you had no way to reach them. All you could hear was the screams and cries, nonstop until you heard the one that broke you.

“PIETRO! DON’T TOUCH HIM! " you heard her shriek, feeling her slam her hands against the glass. You could feel her sorrow, fear, hate, all secrets the shadows kept. They showed you what Hydra put her through, the unbearable pain she experienced for the sake of her powers. They suffocated you in their memories of her pain, releasing you only when you passed out from the weight of it.

You had heard in the debriefing on the plane that prior to you going silent Clint and Bucky saw the building encompassed in shadows. They had tried to get you on the comms but when there was no reply Bucky ran in guns blazing. He and Clint fought off the small group of soldiers they encountered before arresting the scientists. After falling for backup, Clint found you unconscious in a hidden corner cocooned in shadows. He carried you to the heli and left you with buck in the med bay.

When you got home, the shadows followed. You contained them as best you could until you were alone but it was obvious something happened. You made it up to your room without interacting with anyone. You had a feeling they had been given a heads up before you had landed. The shadows in your room snuffed out the lights, bringing only cold and darkness. It poured out under the door leaving a cool aura around it. You had asked FRIDAY to divert everyone to Clint, knowing he would be able handle it. The first to try was Nat. She came in through the vents with the goal of talking. She was the one ho you would normally come to when the shadows got to be too much. She wasn’t prepared for how bad this absorption was. It wasn’t intentional, the shadows thought they were protecting you by absorbing her in her personal form of hell. That was the last time she tried. After Nat was Steve. He was a giant puppy but he couldn’t get you to leave the darkness. You were worried you would break him if you let him in. Tony and Clint made sure to leave food near the shadows so you could portal it to your room. At Thor’s request, Loki tried to block off the shadows long enough to get you out. Unfortunately the shadows overwhelmed him as well.

The last option was the scariest to you. You felt her before she made herself know. Wanda stood outside your door, debating whether to knock or turn around. Her presence sent the shadows into overdrive pulling the darkness from the hall making the decision for her.

“Y/n it’s Wanda" she tried “Can we talk?”

“Y/n wishes to be left alone Ms. Maximoff.” FRIDAY replied as instructed.

“FRIDAY, Isn’t it time for you to rest" Wanda suggested, allowing her power to influence the AI.

“I am quite spent" the AI replied before unlocking the door and going offline. Your anxiety spiked as you heard the door open. Wanda’s power was palpable as she searched for your presence in the darkness. You could tell she had found you as you felt her in the back of your mind.

“Sweetheart, get out of my head. You don’t wanna be there” You tried, hoping she would heed your warning.

“Y/n, I’m not gonna leave you in this darkness alone. Whatever you’ve seen doesn’t scare me. Let me in.” She replied as she reached your body. She felt like a warm fire in the middle of a snowstorm. As you felt her powers review your mission, rehashing all the horrors, the shadows rescinded, allowing for only you and her. You held your head in shame as she watched you become weak in your mind. You felt the shift when she saw the catalyst. Slowly she drew herself out of your mind and let out the breath she was holding.

“You shouldn’t have had to see that.” You said keeping your eyes low to hide the tears that had started to flow.

“Thank you" Wanda said gently gripping your chin to meet her eyes. Instead of anger in her eyes you saw something else. Something deeper. “Thank you for caring so much about me and my past. I love you for it.”

“ I should have had better contr- I’m sorry What?” you said finally processing her words.

“I love you Y/n! I have loved you for as long as I’ve known you. I love your ups and your downs unconditionally. I should have told you sooner, but I wasn’t sure where you stood until just now.”

“There is no way this is happening right now. You need to find someone better than me. I’m not good for you. I will drown you in the darkness. I-" You begin to list the reasons dating the Scarlet Witch would be crazy only to be cut off by her lips on yours. With a soft smile you let the light back in as you hear yourself think maybe this isn’t so bad after all.

[dearlazerbunny]

Lie to Me (Ch 1 of ?)

Pairings: Loki x Reader

Genre/Ratings: M eventually (aiming for a slow burn here); warnings for kidnapping and subsequent anxiety/PTSD (will be marked before every chapter)

Words: 2200 

Summary: If you had to guess what the captured, traitor, trickster god Loki Laufeyson wanted or needed at this moment, a babysitter would be far, far down on the list. (Set after the events of Avengers 1.)

If I don’t post what I already have it’s never going to get finished soooo have some Loki. Hovering around 20k rn But I still have a looooot left to write. If anyone is interested in beta-ing/helping me flesh out ideas hit me up! 

“You.” You look up with a very good impression of a deer caught in headlights. The woman beckoning to you is clearly high up in the SHIELD hierarchy; her suit probably costs more than your entire life is worth. “Are you free?”

You glance down at the coffee you were supposed to be delivering to your coworkers. That could probably wait. “Um, yes ma’am?”

“Come with me.” She starts off in a brisk walk down the corridor, her heels clicking sharply on the floor. You follow without question, trying not to tug on your uniform too harshly in an attempt to break it in a little better. You still aren’t used to the issued clothing, considering you’ve worn the default uniform of hoodies and jeans of a college academic most of your life.

She herds you into a bare bones room, just a table and a few chairs. You stand until she gestures for you to sit, not sure why she’s even glancing your way. You’re a lackey, nothing more. Certainly not worth the attention of Maria Hill.

The woman tosses a folder onto then table, and it impressively lands squarely in front of you. “I’m assuming you’re aware of recent events?”

You raise an eyebrow. “If you’re referring to Manhattan, then yes. It’s been a bit hellacious around here.” Like there wasn’t a person on earth who hadn’t seen the footage of monstrous black aliens pouring out of a glowing portal in the sky. Everyone has been scrambling to control the situation that is blatantly so far out of their control they might as well be fighting sci-fi aliens with Neanderthal tools. It’d be amusing if it wasn’t so terrifying. “Are you with the clean-up crew?”

“Sort of.” She gestures to the folder and you open it. Inside are crystal-clear photos of Earth’s newly minted heroes and a horde of special agents escorting a raven-haired man into a transport vehicle. “Look familiar?”

You release a small breath. Intellectually, you know this is the man- god- who just tried to make himself king of humanity and threatened the entire Earth to do it. But that doesn’t stop the wonder and amazement from washing over you. Loki, Norse god of mischief, real and in the flesh. In the background you can see the golden-haired Thor, swinging his mythical hammer. Well, not exactly mythical, is it? It’s real. They’re real. All the gods and realms and monsters and mayhem that have captivated you since childhood and ultimately lead to multiple degrees on the subjects- they’re real. It’s absolutely incredible. “Yes,” you say, probably a little more wondrously that you mean for it to be.

“We’ve got Loki in custody.” She says his name so nonchalantly, like she isn’t referring to a thousands of years old immortal demigod of the golden realm of Asgard. “And we have no idea what to do with him.”

“And this has to do with me somehow?”

“Yes and no.” She sighs heavily, like she needed to be done with this shit a decade ago. “SHIELD is treating the prisoner with kiddie gloves. Fury wants every single loophole filled and locked down three times over. So we can’t just throw him in a deep dark hole and forget about him- he needs to be afforded certain… rights.” The tone of her voice implies she doesn’t agree with this sentiment.

“Like what?”

“Like company, while we sort out all the red tape so we can prosecute him properly.”

“Company.” You’re completely lost. “He needs a babysitter?”

That makes a small smile flick across her lips. “If you want to call it that. We’re not happy about it, believe me. It’s an undeniable risk. But the lawyers are demanding it, and god knows we have to keep the lawyers happy.” A pinch appears between your eyebrows. You don’t like where this is going. “So. Will you do it?”

“Me?” You squeak, then immediately try to get yourself under control. “Why me? I was literally hired a month ago, I have no qualifications to do anything like this-”

She holds up a hand. “We know. That’s the point. All you need to do is sit in his cell for a few hours every day and pretend to look interested in whatever he’s rambling about. If he talks; he’s been completely silent since we picked him up. Take a book and a few snacks with you, don’t let him schmooze you into doing anything traitorous, and you’ll be fine. Plus,” she continued, “with your background we figured you’d be at least mildly interested.”

Damn. They’ve got you there. Several masters’ in mythology along with years of a childlike fascination means you’ve been ridiculously curious about Earth’s new visitors ever since Mjolnir landed in New Mexico. The spark in your eyes must have been obvious, because Agent Hill holds out a slender hand. “Have we got a deal?”

And so, not hours later, you find yourself wandering into the depths of SHIELD’s base. “Hi there.”

The room is depressingly stark and sterile- you thought you’d gotten used to being surrounded by the chrome and weird futuristic plastic that are apparently now the only two building materials left on Earth since starting at SHIELD, but this place takes it to a whole new level. And it’s newly constructed, based on the smell of drying concrete and fresh shavings peeling up around the screw holes in the corners. There’s a small, utilitarian metal desk and chair that’s been provided for you in the center of the room, so you drop your notepad and pencil onto the tabletop with a clang and pull out the chair. It screeches painfully against the floor, making you wince. Okay, no more of that. You suck in your stomach and slide in between the table and chair so neither have to move. A little tight, but you can make it work.

The other man in the room, framed behind a wall of glass, has not reacted to any of this.

He looks exactly how he did on TV, minus the leather armor and extravagant gold horned helmet. It’s all been replaced with the thin grey uniform SHIELD deems prison garb. You have to admit, he looks a lot less intimidating sitting pale and silent against the wall, handcuffs glowing faintly around his wrists.

“Um- can you hear me?”

Still no response. He doesn’t even seem to notice you’ve entered the room. Uuuuuuum, okay... There’s a microphone attached to the desk. You lean into it, frowning, fiddling with a few of the dials at the base. Then you tap on it and speak directly into the mic. “Can you hear me?” The man flinches wildly, a radical break in his composure, and his eyes dart to you angrily. “Oh, gosh, sorry, okay, let me-” you turn the dial down a few notches. “Better?”

The volume doesn’t seem to be at max level anymore- he doesn’t flinch again- but he also doesn’t say anything else. “I’m going to need verbal confirmation that you can hear me.”

He doesn’t look at you. He doesn’t seem to be looking at anything. His gaze is focused on some middling thing opposite of him, something invisible on the horizon, but he’s hardly glazed over- emerald eyes are bright and sharp, flickering lightly. They are not the eyes of a defeated man, far from it. More like one who has about fifteen thousand and twenty three plans all running through his head at once.

You suppose that should scare you, but SHIELD has reassured you that the cell is one of the most technologically advanced cells they’ve ever constructed. Also, those cuffs have some sort of magic-diffusing abilities, so no funny business there. Then again, he did basically destroy all of Manhattan, like, less than a week ago. You hadn’t even been in that part of the country at the time, SHIELD had called you in from D.C., but you can still feel the horror grip your chest in a vice watching skyscrapers fall to tatters on the news-

“Yes.”

His voice is so soft you almost don’t catch it. It pulls you from your thoughts nonetheless. “Oh. Okay, great.” You pull your pencil to you and neatly label the first page of your notepad with today’s date in the top corner. If you were going be stuck with him, you might as well take notes. Think of the papers you could publish! “Can you please, uh, state your name for the record?” That sounded professional, right? You’ve heard it on Law and Order a lot, anyways.

The prisoner raises one eyebrow slowly. “Really?” He draws out that one word into a three-second attack of sarcasm, but you simply shrug your shoulders.

“It’s protocol.”

“I am Loki Laufeyson, Prince of Asgard, God of Mischief and Lies.” With every title he spits from his mouth, his eyes flash dangerously.

“O-kay.” You jot that down on your notepad, giving it an underline for good measure. “And how would you like to be addressed?”

“Your highness.” He says it as easily as he might’ve said Bob or Ricky.

You blink. “Um. Not sure that’s within my pay grade, but we’ll see how it goes.”

“Where am I?”

“A very secure holding cell,” you answer confidently, and the god scowls at you. He’s apparently waiting for more information, but you shake your head- “that is literally all the information I’m allowed to give you about that.” You glance up at the camera tacked to the ceiling of the room. “Also, you’re being recorded at all times. Gotta tell you that for legalities sake.”

“SHIELD has always so been worried about legalities.”

That gets a small snort from you, and you tap the end of your pencil on your paper. “So-”

“Who are you, exactly?” He suddenly sounds very, very tired, and a little angry, like he’s already done humoring you. “And why are you bothering me?”

“Y/N.” You give him a little wave, since you obviously can’t shake his hand. “I’m a, well- archivist, of sorts. SHIELD brought me in to talk to you.”

“And you’re, what? Fury’s pet?”

“Hardly. I’ve been here less than a month. I don’t think this uniform has even been washed yet.”

Another eyebrow raise. “An interesting choice to interrogate their most wanted prisoner.”

You tap a little more frantically. “I think it’s so if you end up getting into my head, I won’t be able to give anything up,” you say thoughtfully. There’s a huff over the speakers you’re hearing him through. “Also, this isn’t an interrogation.”

“No?”

“Nope. I’m not really qualified for that.”

“Then what are you qualified for?”

“Jeg snakker norsk,” you offer, honestly wondering that question yourself. The look he gives you is a mixed amount of horrified and amused. “They thought it might be helpful speaking in a familiar language, I guess?”

“They do know I can speak literally hundreds of thousands of languages spanning any galaxy you care to name,” he says, apparently stunned by the new heights of SHIELD’s stupidity.

You sigh. “Yeah. I thought it was a stupid idea too.”

“This is laughable.” He’s on his feet now, close to the glass and staring you down threateningly. “Why have I not been removed to Asgard? They will presumably want to prosecute me for my crimes.”

“Um, I think they’re planning on it. But they want me to, um, talk to you first.”

“About what.”

“Well. Anything you want, really.”

“I have nothing to say to you mortals,” he spits, and the word splats on the ground like it’s a curse.

“That’s cool, I get that. But right now all the bureaucrats are running themselves in circles trying to figure out what to do with you, and all that red tape is going to take some time to untangle. In the meantime, they want to make sure you don’t go crazy from the solitude or something.”

“Since when has SHIELD cared about my well being?”

“I mean, you’ve still got rights and stuff. You can’t just sit here for who knows how long with only yourself for company.”

“And why not?”

“Wouldn’t you get lonely?”

“Forgive me, but I hardly think you are going to provide any sort of adequate mental stimulation.”

Geez, way to hit below the belt. “You can request someone else if you want. They pretty much just picked me out of a lineup and threw me on you, I don’t really think they care who sits here with you.”

“What would be the point? SHIELD only hires imbeciles and fools.”

“Well, then. I guess you’re stuck with me for a while.”

The man slumps back, apparently not encouraged by your words. Then he punches the wall with one of his restrained hands and screams angrily in clear frustration.

This is going to go so well.

A/N: Jeg snakker norsk = I speak Norwegian 

[gingerwritess]

Hi ! May I request Loki bringing reader and Elliot for the first time in Asgard ? I really love your writing !

ahh thank you!! this is such a good request omL

okay idk what time period this is, for my purposes Odin Badparent is still on the throne but lovely Frigga has died, but Loki was with you instead of in prison. idk pls be nice.

whoops i made it a lil angsty

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You still remember the first time you saw Asgard: the bifrost had dropped the two of you off at the end of the rainbow bridge and you had promptly grabbed Loki’s hand and used it to punch yourself in the face.

Needless to say, you weren’t dreaming, and the mighty Heimdall’s first impression of you would forever be tainted by Loki shrieking “WHY IN THE NAME OF ODIN DID YOU DO THAT?!”

…followed by you screaming “I FORGOT YOU’RE, LIKE, MYTHOLOGICAL OR SOME SHIT!!” right back at him.

Then you had taken off down the bridge dragging your boyfriend sputtering behind you.

You had ended up staying in Asgard for probably over two months (you kind of lost track of time) and every single day was an adventure. By the time you decided you should really go back home and get your earthly life sorted out, you’d made sure to sneak secret kisses in every tiny closet the palace provided, and every single night had been spent on the highest palace balcony, staring at the stars until you fell asleep in each other’s arms.

It’s easily the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen. Golden buildings rising in the middle of bustling streets, mountains and waterfalls and rivers and more natural beauty than you’d ever beheld, and then there’s the food. The food alone is enough to make you seriously consider leaving the entire planet earth and just becoming a full time Asgardian.

You’d taken every opportunity to go back any time you were able to escape your life on Earth, and when you had finally decided to get married, the two of you spent another extended period of time in the realm during your first few months as a newly wed couple. It has certainly become your home away from home, and even Loki has started to enjoy being there more. The smug bastard says it has something to do with a change in the political dealings of the realm, but you know it’s just because you love it so much.

Not that he’d ever tell you such a sappy, hopelessly romantic thing like that.

He suggests you go visit as often as he can, just so he can see the shock on your face when the bifrost surrounds you, so he can hear the excited squeal when you see the golden castles in the distance, and of course so that he can laugh at you when you fail to address his family and the rest of the royal court properly (you do believe you’re the one being who has ever called Odin Allfather “dude” and lived to see another day).

But after his mother’s death, the realm eternal lost every ounce of its appeal. Wonderful memories became painful, tensions rose, and any joy that had come from Asgard was forgotten. It had taken ages just to get your lover to smile again, and you knew better than to suggest returning to the realm.

It was Elliot’s birth that finally brought a sliver of light back to his life. Yes, he tried to stay positive for your sake and still tried his best to keep your spirits lifted, but you could tell that something was missing from his life, a little light had gone out and needed rekindling.

Nothing does the job quite like a baby.

Once Elliot was born, travelling across space and time into another universe became the furthest thing from your mind, so it took you by complete surprise when Loki suggested you all spend the weekend showing the three month old baby around Asgard. Of course you agreed right away, hoping this could be a chance for him to reconcile old disagreements and even possibly gain closure on a treasured but lost relationship.

Now you find yourself at the foot of the rainbow bridge for the first time in a very long time, this time with a baby tucked in one arm and Loki’s hand locked with yours. Almost as an instinct, Loki looks at you when you step into the glaring Asgard sun, waiting for your face to light up when you see the city as it always has.

Your excitement doesn’t disappoint.

It’s wonderful to be back, but this visit is bittersweet; you’re excited to explore again this time with your son, but something about Loki still seems off.

The three of you spend the day traipsing through the lower levels of the city, mingling with the commoners and enjoying the street food and everyday life of what you guess are normal Asgardians.

It’s pretty obvious that Loki is avoiding the palace.

But he reluctantly agrees to return to the palace for dinner, knowing he owes his father the chance to meet his grandson. Hopefully Thor will be there to help keep things civil at the reunion.

Once again, baby to the rescue.

At first it was extremely tense around the table, but the Allfather seemed to have a soft spot for your little boy. He kept trying to hand him drumsticks of some kind of dark meat, which you politely tried to decline and secretly pushed onto Loki’s plate. Come on, the baby isn’t even one year yet. At one point you even caught Loki smiling when Odin asked to hold Elliot; your heart twisted when Loki caught your eye with an excited gleam in his own at the thought of his adoptive father favouring his son, something of his creation.

He’ll always be searching for some kind of validation from the man who lied to him, whether he realises that or not.

You kind of lost your husband and your son after dinner.

You had taken a quick run back to your room to go get your phone (Loki and Elliot were being too cute at dinner and you had to get a picture) but when you came back, they were gone.

After asking around for a bit, a chambermaid tells you she saw Loki step outside a few minutes ago, and she points you to a winding path leading away from the palace, away from the city into a dark expanse of land.

Figures, doesn’t it? What a great, totally not-threatening place for Loki to take his three month old son.

But despite your fears, the path leads you to a little garden, beautifully well-kept and so brightly coloured that the flowers seem to glow right through the darkness of the night. Out of the corner of your eye you spot Loki, walking slowly between the trees with Elliot in his arms.

For some reason you don’t call out to him just yet, and you follow him until he comes to a stop in front of an exquisitely painted mural on a stone wall. The mural is breathtaking, it looks like it’s been painted with actual gold—wait, these are gods. It probably is.

The scene painted is of a woman, you can’t tell who from the distance you’re watching, but you can tell she is beautiful, elegant, and in every way regal, judging by the golden crown that adorns her head. She’s standing in a forest, it seems, a forest or garden of sorts that looks strangely similar to the one you’re in. Loki is staring at it, and he reaches out a hand to brush his finger over the chipping paint.

Something about this is weirdly familiar.

You silently watch as he sinks to his knees on the damp grass before the mural, Elliot cradled in one arm as the other hand brushes across the ground—a strange type of darkly petaled wildflower sprouts from the soil where his hand touched, an oddly shadowed addition to the beautiful garden you find yourself in.

You’re about to call out to him when you hear him speaking in a barely audible, noticeably pained voice.

“Hello, mother.”

Your breath catches in your throat.

“Have I…have I made you proud?”

Should you go to him? Leave him be? You don’t want to interrupt. You hear him continue speaking before you can decide what to do.

“Look, mother. After all I’ve done, every—every mistake I’ve made, I’ve still somehow been given a son.” He slightly lifts the bundle of blankets in his arms, pulling the blanket away from the baby’s face. “We’ve named him Elliot…and he is the most beautiful child ever created.”

He’s just talking quietly into the air. You’re not sure if he’s speaking to the mural or just to himself; it seems as if his words are swallowed by the wind and cast around every living thing in the lush garden. You might just be sleep deprived and going crazy, but it’s almost as if the flowers and trees are bending towards the god and his son—listening.

Elliot is waking up, slowly starting to gargle cries as he squirms in his father’s arms, and Loki quickly shifts to hug the baby to his chest, shushing him and running a soothing hand over his back.

The simple movement nearly breaks your heart. You step out from behind the tree and quietly walk over to your family, placing a gentle hand on Loki’s back as you take a seat on the grass next to him.

He looks at you in surprise when he feels you, his cheeks faintly flushed at the state you’ve found him in. He never meant for you to see him like this, so exposed, vulnerable…weak.

You put a hand on the side of his face and reach up to kiss him softly, pouring every ounce of reassurance and strength into your lips. His cheeks are slightly wet against yours and when you pull away with a comforting smile, it’s a new, fresh tear that races down his face.

“Your majesty,” you suddenly call out, an idea forming in the back of your mind. You turn to the mural and lean against Loki’s side, squeezing his hand tightly in your own. “Your son is the most incredible father.”

…it feels kind of stupid when you say it. You’re not sure if this is how it works, if just anyone can speak with deceased goddesses by talking to a painting of them, but you push your doubts aside and keep speaking. If anything, Loki is the one who needs to hear this.

“You know, he’s changed my life,” you continue, laying your head on his shoulder and reaching over to rub a hand on Elliot’s back. “The life he’s given me, our son, whatever the future holds for our weird little family…I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like him, but, um, I think I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to repay him.”

“You don’t need to lie in attempt to comfort me.” His voice is so quiet you can barely hear him. “I don’t need your false reassurance.”

If it weren’t for the sensitivity of the current situation, you would have smacked him across the face and kissed some sense into him, but that doesn’t exactly seem appropriate for right now. So you resolve to rolling your eyes and moving your hand to cover his mouth. “Shh. Just listen to me, please.”

Pulling yourself to your feet, you take Elliot out of Loki’s arms and step closer to the mural, lightly bouncing the little baby when he gives another cry and stretches out a tiny, tired arm to the painting on the wall. “You know, Loki has changed, your majesty.” You wince; this probably isn’t how you should speak to a goddess-queen. “He’s changed a lot the past few years. He’s…opened his heart. To me, to our son, even to his brother and father at times. You raised a-a god with a beautiful mind, and yeah, his heart is a little stormy most of the time, but, well…” you catch Loki’s eye and smile. “Most of the time he lets me dance in the rain.”

Loki’s behind you now, his arms around your waist and swaying the three of you gently side to side. You’re cradling Elliot to keep him warm from the chilly night breeze picking up, and Loki’s lips are pressed to your temple, not moving, just wanting to feel you.

“Thank you, my love,” he whispers, and you don’t expect him to say any more.

However, he holds out a hand, and that same dark, unnaturally ominous flower from earlier appears in his palm. There’s a handful of threatening thorns lining the stem, but Loki runs a finger down the stem and the thorns promptly fall to the ground. Thank goodness, too, because then he tucks the flower behind your ear, brushing his hand along your cheek with a small smile as he withdraws his hand.

An unusually sweet gesture from your lover, an action strangely…midgardian.

“‘He lets me dance in the rain’?” He repeats, tilting your head up to look at him. An amused smile is hinting at his lips—meaning you’ve done your job. “My dear…that was awful. So tasteless. Honestly,” he chuckles at the feigned hurt on your face. “I thought I was training you better.”

“Hey, geez, sorry for caring!” You laugh and slap him in the chest, shifting Elliot to your other side. “Sorry I’m not some ‘scholarly poet’ like you, oh exalted one…my mediocre mortal vocabulary will have to suffice.”

Laughing, he takes Elliot out of your arms and wraps the blankets tighter around the little boy, then slips an arm behind your neck to pull you closer to him. “I suppose I appreciate the sentiment.” Thankfully chipper and smiling again, he leans down to give you a quick peck on the lips. “Sentiment. Such a fickle thing.”

You slip your arms around his waist and hug him tighter than you probably should, but hey, he’s a god. He can handle it. “Yes, sentiment, idiot…good thing a mighty god such as yourself would never stoop so low as to actually share his sentiments with another being.”

He sighs and nods in agreement, trying to pry your arms from his waist while holding his son in one arm. “Your sentiments tend to be overtly physical, dear.”

“Shh. You need it, and I know you love it.”

Loki pauses and you take the opportunity to grab his face and kiss him, not letting go of your hold around his waist. Then Elliot lets out a squeal and frees a tiny arm from his cocoon of blankets, grabbing Loki’s shirt and pulling himself tighter against his father’s chest—you almost laugh.

The baby is trying to hug Loki too.

There’s absolutely no way Loki can’t smile at that, and he hoists the baby further up on his chest to press his lips to Elliot’s forehead. “You’ve broken me. Ruined me, softened me, demolished my reputation…”

He gives a dramatic sigh and finally wraps his empty arm around you.

“And I can never thank you enough for that.”

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hope you enjoyed, feel free to send me ideas!

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @paradisaicsam @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas

[the-marvel-imagines-blog]

Madness | Chpt. 20

Chapter Title: “With a Blade of Grass”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character (Eva)

Word Count: 13,832 (the most carried away I’ve ever gotten)

Warnings: VERY Loki/Eva-centric, some angst, Loki’s usual self-loathe, adult content (not “explicit” per se), so. much. fluff.

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”

Summary: Eva and Loki experience a night of freedom together and rediscover each other.

A/N: I was too excited and had to share this new chapter ASAP. This is my favorite chapter I’ve written...ever. Once again, thank you all so, so, so much, and I hope you enjoy reading this installment as much as I enjoyed writing it <3

Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny @xletmetaste-yoursmilex @itsknife2meetu @mynameisyara @j-j-ehlby-writes @jillilama-blog (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)

Ephinea needed no convincing to let Loki and I out of the cell for the night. She understood that I would, under no circumstances, let him out of my sight and allow him to run off, and I trusted Loki not to betray me again. He deserved freedom and the opportunity to grow, and he received none of that in the dungeons. The thing Loki and I needed most was privacy. I wanted to talk to him, to pick him apart once more, and I wanted him to hold me like he used to. Seeing him, feeling him, holding him, breathed life back into me that night. It would make it even harder to leave, but it was also making it more appealing to return once Tony and I were finished with the Mandarin.

Loki and I ran through the forest hand-in-hand, making our way to the tree we fell in love beneath. We celebrated so many things under the watchful gaze of the essence of life that emanated from that wondrous part of Asgard’s natural world. It was always our typical meeting spot, too. I’d often find him waiting there for me in the morning. He’d be propped up against the trunk, scribbling a cacophony of words into a journal. It was the one thing that was tangible proof of his incredible mind. Words filled with love, anger, sadness, joy, and loneliness filled the pages of his journals, but they were never words he kept from me in all our time together.

When we reached the tree, hundreds of memories flooded my mind, and based on the look in his eyes, I knew that the same memories arose for him as well. The tree had become our meeting place shortly into our love affair. We were still young when Loki and I spoke of running away together and going to Midgard to wed and spend the rest of our lives among the Midgardians. Odin never seemed fond of our relationship, and we tried to keep it as far away from the palace as possible at first. We never showed any affection in front of Odin, but the longer we were with each other, the more comfortable we became with moving our love closer to the palace. First, we would spend evenings in the garden, and that blossomed into walks around the palace halls, my arm draped delicately through Loki’s. Then, we would spend nights in Loki’s chambers.

The first night felt strange just because Loki had always spent the night in the cottage with me. My father considered him family and even left the torch lit for Loki, something he continued even after we had parted ways. My father loved Loki, and he loved how happy I was when I was with him. He respected my wishes to spend my life with the trickster, and he supported us in our relationship. He kept our love a secret until we couldn’t keep it hidden. Odin’s clear distaste for our love was what led Loki to bring up the option of running away together. Even though he was aware of his duties as a potential future ruler of Asgard, he was willing to throw it all away if it meant spending the rest of our lives together. The plan to run away was one of many, but it never pursued further than us meeting at the tree in the night and talking ourselves out of it.

We both had personal duties, and we had our families. Loki didn’t want to think of leaving Thor or Frigga because they were two of his best friends-his family. He also didn’t want to lose the connection he had to my father or Hjalmar. Hjalmar and Loki had been fairly close during our childhood, and I could only imagine how deeply my brother’s death had affected my love. I grasped his hand, successfully pulling his gaze away from the tree until his eyes locked with mine, “sit with me, hold me, exist with me,” I pleaded, wanting him to be as present with me as he possibly could. Loki nodded his head, lowering himself onto the ground, and leaning his back against the trunk of our tree.

His eyes stayed locked with mine as I took my place beside him. The gaze was the same as it was before we parted ways. He still looked at me as if I was the only woman in the world, like the very breath from within him was taken away by the mere sight of me. A warmth overcame my cheeks, and I attempted to hide it, turning my gaze away from him as I lowered myself onto the ground at his side. His right arm snaked around me and pulled me closer while his left hand reached up between us and grasped my chin. He tilted my head up until our eyes met once more, and a grin spread across his lips, “don’t hide yourself from me, my love, for you are more beautiful than the stars in the night sky. I don’t deserve to look upon them, but if I am given that great honor, it would be a terrible shame to miss even a second of their glory. I beg of you...do not rob me of such a miraculous sight,” he whispered against my lips, my heart flipping with each word he uttered, symbols of a love I was almost certain had been lost.

His eyes were familiar again, filled with love, adoration, wonder, and determination. My right hand reached between us as a smile overtook my lips, and I pressed my palm to his cheek, “if it is your wish for me to not hide myself from you, I will respect that. However, I wish the same from you,” I confessed, stroking his cheek with my fingers. He nodded his head, agreeing to the terms. There was one question that had been lingering on my mind since the day Loki left me in the garden, and, though I had some answers from Thor, I still needed to hear what Loki had to say. I cleared my throat, gazing down at our hands. I lifted them and pressed my lips to the back of his hand, lingering there for a moment as the feel of his warmth spread through me. When I finally pulled away, I built up the courage to speak, “the day we were in the garden, you left to talk to your father, and the next conversation we had was...the last conversation we had, really. What happened?”

Loki sighed, his eyes disconnecting with mine and turning into the darkness of the forest. The only light came from the stars above us, reaching down through the forest canopy and falling upon our skin. His eyes darkened with sadness, the same despair I saw that day, but this was different. He wasn’t hiding his pain under the facade of anger and rage. Instead, he was letting me see his grief. He was reliving every second of that day, and I knew how hard it must’ve been for him. Part of me wished I hadn’t asked, blamed myself for this grief, but I needed to know what happened in order for us to move forward. There were things we no longer knew about each other, and that was strange for us. He let out a long breath before turning his eyes back to me, ready to tell me, “I spoke to my father about you,” he murmured, his voice trembling.

I knew he was going to continue explaining the past to me, so I remained silent, giving him the time he needed to gather himself. Tears rose to his eyes as he thought of the day. Just as he always did, he refused to hide his pain from me. A stray tear fell before he swallowed back his emotions and continued, “I had been begging my father for an hour of his time for some time, asking him to allow me the time to speak candidly to him without distractions. He never found time until that day when we were in the garden, and I…” his voice trailed off as the emotions began to overcome him once more, “let me show you,” he insisted, closing his eyes and grasping my hand even tighter than before. I closed my eyes with him and found his mind, a place I knew as my home.

I stood in Odin’s war room, a place I had been countless times before. However, usually when the war room was being used, there was a larger group of people stood around the table. In that instance, the large room was inhabited only by Odin and a younger Loki. His hair was still long, falling slightly below his broad shoulders. That night, he would cut it, and with it, he cut away the final shred of us. I glanced over to my side to see the present day Loki looking on to the scene, clearly disturbed and upset by what was about to play out. I reached between us and grasped his hand, anchoring him once more, wordlessly reminding him that I was right there with him, that this was in the past. His eyes met mine, and he gave me a nod of appreciation, feigning a moment of happiness for my sake. I could see right through the smile that couldn’t reach his eyes. He was still in so much pain from this memory, but this was my chance to discover what happened.

The past Loki had a wide smile on his lips, clearly harboring so much joy. It was so familiar, yet so different. When he left me in the garden to speak with Odin, that was the memory he left me with, but when he returned, that memory seemed so distant. His ocean blue eyes were filled with hope as he opened his mouth to speak, “I wish to speak with you about Eva,” he stated simply, knowing that Odin rarely fancied long, verbose spiels.

“What of the girl?” Odin asked, his eyes scanning the way Loki fidgeted with his hands.

Loki swallowed hard, “I come to you to ask for your blessing to ask for her hand in marriage, and I ask that before you give me an answer, you let me explain to you how prepared I am,” he blurted out, clearly excited at the opportunity to speak to Odin about such a monumental moment. My breath hitched in my throat as I heart Loki describe the reasoning behind him being there. While Thor had explained what happened, nothing could’ve prepared me for hearing Loki speak so openly and seriously about marriage. Odin remained silent as Loki continued, “I spoke to everyone she’s close to, and I’ve received permission from each of them. I spoke to Ephinea, Thor, her brother, and her father. They’ve all given me their blessing to ask her to be my wife. Aaldir has already begun sketching out a cottage for just Eva and I, so if it was a problem, we wouldn’t even have to be in the palace. I talked with mother about it, and she had a ring forged specifically for this occasion. Now, all I need is your blessing, and I will ask nothing more from you for my entire life. Even if marrying Eva means I must forfeit any right I have to the throne of Asgard, I would do so gladly,” Loki explained with determination clear in his eyes.

My eyes widened, and tears filled them as I thought of how madly in love he became with the idea of becoming the King of Asgard after we had separated. Thor told me that Loki had become thirsty for power, and it was driving him mad. All of our lives, Loki talked about the peace he would spread throughout Asgard should he become the King, but we both knew that Thor was first if Odin allowed birth succession to matter. At the time, we were unaware that Odin had no real plans to allow Loki to sit on the throne of Asgard, since Loki was continuously groomed for the position of a potential future king. To see how quickly he would give up on that just to live a peaceful-albeit exciting-life with me was astonishing. It showed how truly romantic my love was when it came to me, even when he wasn’t around me.

I glanced over at present-day Loki, whose cheeks were wet with tears. His eyes peeled away from the scene before us to lock with mine, and I saw how distressed he was. The further into the memory we ventured, the worse it became for him. I pulled my hand from his, reaching up to wipe the tears from his cheeks, “oh, my love,” I murmured, cradling his face in my hands. He leaned into my touch, a sad smile spreading across thin lips, “to ask you not to feel sorrow at this moment would be like asking the stars to cease their shining, but I ask that you remember that I’m here with you right now. I’m by your side, and nothing that happened in this moment will change that,” I promised, making myself taller on the tips of my toes so that I could press my lips to his cheek.

“And for that, I’m the luckiest man in the universe,” he replied, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling my body flush against his. My head rested against his chest, nuzzling into him right below his chin, which he-in turn-rested against the top of my head, but not before pressing a kiss into my hair. My right arm snaked around his waist while my left hand rested against his chest below my own chin.

We both faced the scene once more as past-Loki continued to speak, “the preparations for any and all outcomes have been made, but I ask that you please consider my offer. Over the past thousand years, we’ve fallen in love with one another, and we’ve even spoken of running away to promise ourselves to each other,” he said, referencing the countless times we spoke of running off to Asgard, Vanaheim, or even Alfheim, a place I frequented for its calm, blissful nature. Wherever Loki and I could be together, that was home. He continued, “Eva and I have lived as husband and wife for centuries upon centuries, but the only thing that would be different is that she would become my wife under Asgardian law. That would be the only change.”

“Loki,” Odin breathed out, and the tone in his voice made it abundantly clear to both past-Loki and myself that he was not on our side. His eye was a mirror into his cynicism. Even though I knew the general direction their conversation would go in, a part of me didn’t want to see the hope die in my lover’s eyes. While it was shocking to see the complete change in him from when he left me to talk to his father and when he returned to push me away, it would be even more difficult to watch as that boyish optimism died away.

Loki reached out in clear distress, and I knew this would only be the beginning of his torture. This was the beginning of the end, and I was getting the answers I so desperately wanted, but at what cost? This only hurt to know how desperate he was to be accepted and supported by his father. Loki scrambled to find words, “Father, please. I come to you as more than just one of the commoners; I come to you as your son, and I’m asking you to allow me to show my love freely to the woman I’m destined to love, the woman I have loved for all my life,” he stressed, his hands trembling once more, so he began fidgeting with them again. It was one of the many quirks I fell in love with. Whenever he got nervous, excited, angry, or overjoyed, his hands would tremble, and he would wring them, trying to fight back the abundance of emotion that crashed into him. I come to you, a man who is more than just your son, a man who is ready to be a husband, a man who is ready to be a father,” he explained, causing my heart to stop completely and my breath to hitch in my throat.

That word caused the tears to begin cascading down my cheeks. The hand that had once been pressed against Loki’s chest flew up to cover my mouth to hold back the inevitable sob that would try to break past my lips. Loki and I talked about our future children several times. Most times, he shied away from speaking at length about it because the topic always brought up his troubles with his father. He was terrified that he wouldn’t be the greatest father to our children, but I knew him better than that. My gaze turned up to meet Loki’s to see that tears were threatening to spill from his eyes, “really?” I asked, my voice trembling as my body quaked in his arms.

He nodded his head, biting his bottom lip to keep it from quivering. When he finally trusted his voice not to betray him, he spoke, “I was more than ready to start a family with you long before I asked my father’s blessing. I knew that the only thing greater than spending my life with you would be to spend my life with you and our own children. I was prepared to start a family from the moment we promised ourselves to one another hundreds of years ago. I was terrified, yes, but I wanted that future with you, and when I spoke to Odin, I was more than ready to take that step,” he explained, pressing a kiss to my forehead as I continued crying, “why does this upset you so deeply, my love?” he asked, his voice as light as a feather to keep from disturbing my heightened emotions.

I shook my head, “I was ready, too,” I whimpered, burying my face into his chest, letting a small cry escape my throat as he held me tightly to him. His hand rubbed small circles into my back as I felt the weight of the world crashing down around me. So much of my life would’ve been different if I had spoken first. So much would’ve changed had I forced him not to leave me in the garden until I found the courage to discuss the future. Lives wouldn’t have been lost, hope wouldn’t have died, and sorrow wouldn’t have plagued my memory for that long.

“You don’t know her the way I do,” Odin boomed, pulling my attention away from what could’ve been and refocused it back on what had transpired. All the while, present day Loki kept a tight grip on me, almost as if he was shielding me from what was to come.

“No! You don’t know her the way I do!” past-Loki cried out, his voice breaking as the tears spilled from his eyes, cascading down his cheeks. He breathed hard, his chest rising and falling at an alarming rate. Loki was prone to what the Midgardians coined as panic attacks. It was something Tony suffered from after New York. While I could always sense Loki’s distress, he always asked me to just hold him through it. He wanted to learn how to handle them, how to push through them without me getting into his head, so I allowed him to suffer through the agonizingly long attacks. All I could do was hold him close to me, reminding him that he was safe as long as we were together. I sensed his anxiety when confronting Odin, “I know her favorite color is blue. When we were younger, she used to tell me that it was because of the color of the sky and the oceans on Midgard, but less than 2 years later, she confessed that it was because she had a deep adoration for the color of my eyes,” he stated, referring to one of our earliest romantic conversations.

“I know that she spends her days in the forest, making friends with the wildlife, speaking and singing to the trees. I know that her favorite novel depends on her mood and often fluctuates between a handful of works from the friends we made on Midgard over the years. Lately, she has fallen back in love with ‘Jane Eyre’, which was written by one of the closest friends she made on Midgard in our time visiting, and before that, it was ‘Romeo and Juliet’, a Shakespearean play,” he said, referencing two of the people we had both grown to know and love on a personal level. Charlotte and William both knew about our “agelessness” and were often intrigued by it. Both of them were partial to us, allowing us to read their works before they were released to the public. They were memories that were sacred to us. Loki continued, “I know that she fights her sleep, especially when she’s with me, and she only stops once I’ve started to drift off. I know that she loves baking, and when she’s upset, she bakes until her home is filled with cakes and pastries. She’ll set pies out to cool on the windowsill, but she rarely notices that they’ve disappeared until later on in the night, realizing that they must’ve been taken by one of the many species of wildlife that inhabit the forest around her home.”

“I know that when she’s angry, her nose gets red, and it spreads to her cheeks like a wildfire. I know that when she’s sad, she likes to look up at the stars and shed her tears under their light. I know that the freckles on her body match perfectly with certain constellations in the night sky; she has the Corona Borealis under her right shoulder blade, the Andromeda constellation on her lower back, the Gemini on her right hip, Lyra on her left leg, Virgo on the calf of her right leg, and Pisces below her heart. I know that she loves the rain, and she can sense it coming before the clouds even form in the sky. I know that when she sings, the wind stops blowing, and the world comes to a stand still just to listen to her beautiful voice,” he remarked, a wonder in his eyes as he listed off every little idiosyncrasy I had. While so many of those things made me feel inadequate, he looked at them as the most fascinating, wondrous parts about me, “I know that life thrives around her wherever she goes. I know that when the first drop of rain falls to the ground, she finds any reason to go outside and dance through the forest. I know that she feels a connection to the world, that they are inexplicably linked. I know that she steals the covers throughout the night, and she’s always embarrassed about it the following morning when she wakes up, rolled into the sheets. I know that when she yawns, she blushes at the same time.”

“I know that when I’m around her, the colors in the world seem more brilliant-more vivid-than any I’d ever seen. I know that she wants at least three children, and when I ask her what she wants them to be, her answer is always: healthy. She knows what I mean, but that’s her biggest concern is the health and well-being of our future children. I know that if we have a daughter, she loves the name Aurora because it means “dawn,” and Eva likes the symbolism of the birth of a new day. I know that if we have a son, she loves the name Nova because it means “new,” and it has connections to the stars that we fell in love beneath. I know that she would make the most amazing mother to our future children, and with her by my side, I think I could be a good father,” he said, causing a pang of grief hit my heart. He had always spoken so openly about being afraid to start a family because of his perceived inability to be a good father, but to see him speak with a confidence like that made my heart swell with joy, but it also broke, “I know that she loves me without reason, fear, or doubt-without end-and I know that I want to be with her for the rest of my life. Even if you refuse me this offer, it won’t change my feelings for her. Nothing will,” he promised.

Tears streamed freely down my cheeks, and I didn’t hinder them. My love professed so much to me in that one monologue. His words were moving and tore a hole through my heart. This was the man I had missed for so long, the man I tried to get back, “you don’t know the darkness that resides deep within her, a darkness that you could help bring out!” Odin barked out at him, becoming more and more impatient with Loki’s insistence that we belonged together. All I wanted was to somehow step in and change the course of the conversation, to save the past-Loki from feeling the hurt and pain he was about to experience, to feel the inadequacy he was about to endure. He was pure, and Odin was mere moments away from tainting that.

Loki shook his head, ready to defend me, “there has never been any hint of darkness within Eva, and I would be the first to know. Over the past millennia, I’ve explored the deepest recesses of her mind, and I’ve seen nothing but a blinding light, a light so pure and radiant that I can’t bring myself to look upon it for too long. She makes me want to be better and better each day I’m with her!”

“Until the day she becomes what she was always meant to be!” Odin shouted, clearly having heard enough from the man who stood in front of him, a man he claimed was his son for so many years.

“I don’t understand what you mean!” Loki exclaimed, his voice piercing the silence that would’ve otherwise plagued the war room. Seeing Loki so ready to defend me was heartbreaking because he shouldn’t have been put in that position. I didn’t want to see him so hurt, so confused. He pointed at Odin, tears of frustration clinging to his cheeks as they rolled down his silky smooth skin, “you claim to know her, but you think her to be some abomination, a monster!”

Odin’s face became beat red, and he reached out in front of him, grabbing the circular table at the center of the war room and tearing it off the floor before throwing it across the room. The pieces we had once used as a way to guide our ideas or war strategies went flying to each corner of the large room as Odin turned his focus back over to Loki, “because I know her better than anyone else could ever possibly know her! I know where she comes from, where she belongs, what she’s capable of! You have no idea because you’re blinded!” he yelled, closing the space between them. I moved, trying to step away from present-Loki to somehow protect past-Loki, but the arm that was wrapped around my waist was secure. When I looked up at my love, he shook his head, still looking at the scene before him with pain clouding his vision. Our eyes didn’t meet, but I could see in them that he didn’t want to let me go. Odin stood directly in front of Loki, who looked smaller than ever in that moment, “a girl who could pass as a princess, even without a prince, would be better suited for Thor, and I will not entertain these childish games any longer! Eva needs to be contained, and Thor is the best fit for that job. He could keep her controlled if need be, but you only add more chaos. This conversation is over!” he boomed before turning on his heel and beginning to walk toward the door to exit the room.

Loki stepped forward, continuing to provoke the argument even more. He didn’t want to go down without a fight, and that made the scene even more tragic than I could’ve imagined, “this conversation isn’t over until you tell me that all of these plans, all of this waiting hasn’t been in vain! This isn’t over until you give me your blessing to marry the love of my life!” he yelled after the Allfather, wiping his tears away as quickly as possible.

Odin whipped around, clearly caught off guard by Loki’s insistence on getting his way. That was one thing I’d always known about the Allfather: he didn’t like to be questioned. When he set a new law in motion, it was best to bend, or you would be broken. Odin narrowed his eye at the broken man before him, “as your King and as your father, you will never receive my blessing to marry that girl. She is to be set aside and saved for your brother. From this moment on, I forbid you from continuing your relationship with her, and if you do, I will see to it that you are both thrown into Asgard’s deepest dungeons. You would be sacrificing your life and freedom as well as her own. She belongs to you no longer,” he declared, setting the new “law” into motion.

“You can’t take her away from me!” Loki screamed, falling to his knees in the middle of the room. His arms wrapped around his body as he hugged himself. My heart shattered as he wept in the middle of the floor.

“I just did,” Odin remarked before disappearing from the room.

Loki wailed, his cries tearing through my very soul. I’d never heard such agonizing sounds coming from him. The only other time he experienced that much agony was in New York and in the vision Ezra planted in his mind. I broke free of the arms that held me and ran to the man within the memory, falling to my knees at his side, “she’s all I have!” he screamed after his father, his body heaving and trembling with unrelenting despair, “I don’t have anyone else!” he wailed, falling forward to catch himself on his hands. His breaths were ragged, frantic, and shallow, and his cries echoed through the room as I fell to my knees beside him, reaching out to touch him. Before I could run my fingers through his long, black locks, he disappeared.

In the blink of an eye, I found myself back in the forest with Loki, his arms wrapped tightly around me, almost as if he was afraid to let me go. He curled into me, forcing his body closer to mine like a scared child. Within me, a pain arose that was so great it could destroy galaxies. Seeing the love of my life crumble before my eyes had been a horrific sight, a sight that would plague my nightmares for the rest of my life. I wrapped my left arm around him while my right hand cradled his head against my chest. I was comfortable sitting in the deafening silence with him, allowing him to cry if he needed to do so. There had been countless times when he did so for me. This time, though, he didn’t yearn for the silence, and he spoke, “after the confrontation with Odin, I struggled with what I should do. I didn’t want you or your reputation to be tarnished because of me, and I couldn’t live with myself if you were punished for our love,” he explained, his voice trembling just as it did in the memory he shared with me.

I listened intently to his words, not wanting to interrupt his flow of thought. However, while he spoke, I ran my fingers through his wild, black locks, “I pushed you away, and that was the worst decision of my life. It was the hardest decision I had ever made, but it was the wrong one. When I left you in the garden, I began planning Odin’s downfall as well as Thor’s. I was hungry for the throne of Asgard. I wanted it to be mine and mine alone because if I was King, no one could tell me who I could or could not marry. I didn’t think about how the unspeakable acts of treason I committed could potentially cause you to be disgusted by my mere presence. I didn’t think of anything but the power I would have as King. Odin made me feel powerless that day in the war room, and I never wanted to feel that again,” he confessed, opening his heart up to me for the first time in such a long time. He answered so many of the questions I never had the chance to ask him, but he knew, in his heart, that I needed them to be explained.

He shook his head in disbelief at his own train of thought, “another part of me still wanted to please the man I believed to be my father. I wanted to prove him wrong, prove to him that I was worthy of happiness, that I was worthy of you. I wanted him to see that I was worthy of the throne, and maybe, I wouldn’t have had to cast Thor aside in order to take it. I loved my brother...I still do, but I was willing to do whatever I had to do in order to prove myself in the eyes of the Asgardian people, my father, and myself,” he explained, turning his eyes up to meet mine, “I was ready to ask you to marry me that day, Eva. I had carried around the ring my mother had forged for years, waiting for the right moment. I used to sit up at night, thinking of the right words to say, how I would say them, what you would say to me. I’d think of all the different scenarios, too. That day in the garden, though, I was prepared to ask you to be mine for the rest of time. Looking back on it now, I wish I would’ve scooped you up in my arms and run. We would’ve run as far from home as we could, and we could’ve built our lives together like we’ve always dreamed.”

“There’s still time,” I murmured, causing his eyes to widen. He pulled away from me, staring at me like I had three heads. He sat in disbelief at my words, ocean blue eyes scanning mine for any traces of dishonesty. He would find none. I reached down to my side, stroking my hand through the grass at the base of the tree as my eyes remained locked on his, “we could run away together and get married on Midgard like we used to talk about, or we could get married right here, under the tree we fell in love beneath,” I relished in the idea, butterflies fluttering around my abdomen.

He cocked his eyebrow, the disbelief giving way to playfulness, “then what?”

“We could buy a little cottage in the south of France or Ireland, and we could build a life there,” I answered, remembering the numerous conversations we had about potentially living in those two places in particular. Loki and I both loved the peaceful nature. We wanted to live intentionally, and we found that easiest in places that were less crowded. My heart flipped as I thought of the beauty we would create, “we could have children, and they would be free to run and play as much as they’d like. We wouldn’t have to hide anymore. We would be free to love,” I continued, my heart beating faster the longer our eyes were connected. I never stopped loving him, but it felt like I was falling in love with him for the first time all over again. The feeling was intense, magical, right.

“I don’t think I’d be allowed on Midgard under any circumstances for the rest of time,” he snickered to himself, trying to make light of a situation that plagued his past. His eyes still remained hopeful, “but we’re free to love tonight, and that’s good enough for right now,” he added, a smile crossing over his lips. There was a hint of mischief in his eyes, but it wouldn’t have been Loki without the mischief.

His mischief fed my own, and I could see my eyes darken in his own, the desire overcoming me. I had hungered for his touch for so long, his hands rediscovering every piece of my body that they had become acquainted with time and time again, just as mine had with his. We had spent so many nights together that when we were apart, I could still feel the warmth of his skin against my own. I knew every dip, every freckle, every scar, every inch, “I must leave you before the sun rises, but you are free for tonight. What is it you desire, my prince?” I asked the suggestive question, leaning forward and drinking in the sight of him.

He smirked, knowing the game he was playing. It was the one we played with each other more times than I could count. It started out playfully, but it got intense rather quickly, “you know exactly what I want,” he whispered, seeing the destination clearly. This was the place where we first celebrated our love. Beneath the tree where we fell in love, we gave ourselves to one another, gifting something so precious to the other. We had only ever known each other in such an intimate way, and that never changed. It was only fitting to rediscover each other in the same place we first discovered each other. His words, the way he said them, it was as if we had spent no time away from each other at all. He still knew how to make the knot in my abdomen tighten, how to build up the heat and desire in my very core

Knowing what to do, I grasped his shoulder and swung my leg over him so that I was straddling his hips. A surge of exhilaration tore through him, and I felt him quiver beneath me. Aware of the effect I had on him, I leaned forward, my breath cascading across his lips. I ran my lips along his strong jaw and felt him shiver beneath me. Everything-from the moment he left me until the moment he opened his heart back up to me-fell to the wayside, and it was as if nothing had changed between us. None of the heartache, fear, anger, or grief mattered in that moment together. I could feel the challenging grin overtake my lips, “I want to hear you say it,” I growled, the heat of desire spreading through my veins and through every limb, culminating in my lower abdomen.

My lips trailed down to his neck, planting kisses the whole way. When I finally reached the spot that drove him wild with desire, I latched my lips onto it, feeling him writhe beneath me, a desperate moan escaping from his lips as he threw his head back against the tree. With my left hand still holding firmly to his shoulder, my right hand was lost within his black locks, tangling themselves in his wild hair. I left my mark on him, my teeth grazing the sensitive patch of skin I had made my own. I leaned into his ear, tucking the lobe between my teeth and biting down just hard enough to elicit a shaky breath from him. Satisfied with myself, I pulled away only enough to allow the warmth of my breath to dance along his neck and ear, “tell me,” I insisted, my voice quieter than the sound of the cool night breeze.

He cracked under his urges and desires. I felt it as if it was the ground crumbling beneath my feet, “I want you!” he growled, his hand tangling in my hair and tugging at the roots to pull my mouth away from his ear. His eyes locked with mine, and they darkened. He was ravenous. He looked like a predator about to tackle its prey to the ground and tear through it. Without needing prompting, he always knew what I desired, and I knew what would satiate his hunger, what would fill him. There were nights when he was gentle and loving with me, but gentleness wasn’t what I craved this time. He knew that.

I gripped the hair at the back of his head even harder, tugging it back like he did to mine. It exposed the length of his neck to me, trailing down to the V-neckline of his green tunic. He growled at the sudden movement, but a grin overcame his lips. He was well-aware of what was about to transpire, we both were. It had been so long since we’d known each other in such an intimate way, but this was exactly what I needed, one of the reasons why I came back to Asgard. I needed answers when it came to Loki, and this was part of it. I needed to have closure in case my task on Midgard claimed my life. I narrowed my eyes at him, ready to challenge him as I had so many times before, “if you want me...take me.”

We laid in the grass facing one another. Loki’s right arm was wrapped around my waist, holding me close to him, our bare bodies fitting together like the jagged edges of a puzzle. Our breathing was slowly steadying, evening itself out after such an intense portrayal of undying love. It began as an act filled with lust and desperation, but-just as it always did-it built into something sensual, delicate, gentle. Loki took his time with me, and I did the same with him. Neither of us could stop smiling at one another, and the butterflies continued as Loki looked at me like I was the only woman who ever existed, the only woman he’d ever laid eyes on.

He propped himself up on his left elbow, towering over me and continuing to drink in the sight of me just as I was doing to him. I felt euphoria coursing through my veins. Nothing else mattered at that moment except for the two of us. I had him back, and my universe was falling back into place. I could hold him, kiss him, show him all the love I had saved since the garden. A dull ache in my heart reminded me that there was still one missing piece, a missing piece that could’ve been reattached should things in Asgard be solved. If my love no longer saw me as an enemy and would no longer use my heart against me, there was a chance to bring back the person I’d been missing the most. Her.

His right hand left my waist to reach up and brush the stray strands of hair away from my face, gently tucking them behind my ear. His eyes were filled with amazement, and he finally built up the courage to disrupt the silence that had fallen between us, “I love you,” he whispered, his warm breath cascading across my face.

Tears of joy and complete wholeness filled my eyes. It had been far too long since I’d heard those words from him. It was like the warmth of spring when winter finally ceased her brutal assault. The warmth made you forget about how cold it had once been, how the freezing air seemed to invade the very bones within you. His absence was my winter, and I was finally back in the spring, feeling the warmth of the sun upon my frostbitten skin. My heart filled to the brim, and I reached up, pushing his hair back to see the man I once knew, the man I was almost certain had died, giving way to the brutality of the man I saw in New York. I rested my hand against the back of his neck, guiding his lips down to mine and holding him against me with a kiss. I couldn’t get enough of him. It only took one single taste of what I once had, and he claimed me once again. When we pulled away from the kiss, I searched his eyes and saw no signs of the man with his face from New York. This was my love, my light, my life. This was my Loki. Wanting to convey how deeply enthralled I was by him still, I used the same response we once used, “I love you more.”

His eyes brightened, and the most contagiously joyous smile spread across those beautiful lips. That was how it was done. The silver-tongued God of Mischief with a quick wit was rendered completely speechless by my profession of love for him. While I had been open about my strong feelings of love for him that lived on past the supposed death of our romantic journey, I hadn’t brought him back the way I knew the words would. It was my way of professing how willing and ready I was to overcome everything and fall back into what we once had. The look in his eyes told me that he was ready to do the same. Finally shaking off his disbelief, his face fell solemn once more as his fingers danced along my skin, “if I asked you now...what would your response be?” he asked, hinting at the proposal of marriage he had never been brave enough to speak of aside from his cryptic questions.

My heart felt like it jumped into my throat, stopping all air flow as the thought of being with him once more arose. I would be promised to the man I loved so endlessly, and the possibility of having that back-of having back everything that I once loved and lost-was overwhelming. Still, I smirked up at him, “my response has never changed, and it never will. I’ve always told you that my answer depended on whether or not you were brave enough to ask me outright,” I answered, cocking an eyebrow in a challenging way, knowing that he was a planner. This was the most unplanned and spontaneous thing I’d ever done, and I pulled him into it. There was no way he could’ve planned for it, so it was no use dreaming of him asking me to be his eternal love on that night.

He tilted his head, gazing up at the stars as if they would answer the following question for him. He was puzzled, the small crease between his eyebrows becoming more prominent, “none of what happened has changed that?” he asked, his eyes flickering back down to mine. He looked almost concerned for my sanity, like my love for him was somehow a treasonous act. If so, I’d rather be put to death than have to live a lie.

“Not at all,” I answered, shaking my head and propping myself up onto my right elbow. Seeing that I was looking for dominance, Loki laid with his back against the emerald green grass, gazing up at me with skin that glistened under the light of the stars. The tips of my fingers danced along his chest, particularly over his heart, the place my head had been planted almost every single night for more than a thousand years. I would be rocked to sleep by the lullaby that his heart became, and he held me in the arms I’d come to know as my home. I smoothed his hair back, “I wish I could make you understand why, Loki, but I cannot. I cannot explain why, after all that has happened, I still look at you and feel like it’s the first time I’m seeing you; why, after all we’ve been through, each time our eyes meet, my love for you feels as fresh as the morning air. I cannot explain how, after all the times I’ve tasted the sugar-touch of your lips, each time we kiss it’s as sweet as the air after nearly drowning.”

As I spoke the words, Loki’s eyes began to fill with tears, but the smile on his face told me that he was in no sort of distress or grief. He felt joy in that moment. A man who had gone without it for far too long was receiving it once more. I caressed his cheek, features that could cut through diamond laid under such supple skin, “the man who threatened the very essence of life itself, the man who nearly killed me, the man who hurt me in ways I never thought I could hurt...that man wasn’t you, Loki. That man was the person Thanos turned you into, and in doing so, he made himself my greatest enemy,” I stated, the heat rising in me once more. I pushed it aside, not wanting to see the fear in his eyes as I had in the dungeons when I spoke of Thanos. The mere mention of his name caused his eyes to widen, so I moved along as quickly as I could, not wanting the feeling of fear to linger within him, “none of what happened has made me love you less. I’ve loved you every moment of my life, even when it would’ve been easier to stop loving you, even when it would’ve been less painful to tear you out of my life. It’s why I couldn’t kill you in New York. You are my person, and I would choose you forever,” I reminded him of a fact that we had always known to be true.

He shook his head, guilt tearing through him. His bottom lip quivered as he tried to hold in the emotions I so desperately wanted him to show. As I continued to stroke his cheek, the tears fell, cascading down the side of his face and falling into the mess of wild black hair that had become acquainted with the grass, “I’m broken,” he confessed, almost as if he thought he could push me away with that, as if we hadn’t been through more than enough to trust that we would be by each other’s side for the rest of eternity, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. He said it as if I would change my mind, like every other trial paled in comparison to this one. He didn’t seem to understand that a happy life was all I’d ever yearned for, all I ever wanted, and it couldn’t be a happy life without him in it.

His words upset me, breathing life back into the smoldering coals within my healing heart, bringing about a rebirth of the intense fire that had lived within me for so long. Red and white flames licked at the walls of my heart, feeding the passion within me, a passion I thought had died when I forfeited my happiness during the event I referred to as “the great calamity.” I laid waste to my entire life, tearing apart all I’d ever held dear and saying my sorrowful farewell to every ounce of love I’d never feel again, “don’t you ever say that about yourself! I never want to hear those words from you for the rest of my life! You aren’t broken. You might be a little bruised, a little bent, but you’ve never been broken, Loki,” I stressed to him, his words feeling like a dagger through my heart, and it felt like my very soul began to bleed out beneath me in the grass as I thought of how tragic his words were, “you’re the man I love with all my heart and soul, the man I want to marry someday, the man I trust with my life...the man I want to have a family with. Children with your hair and my eyes,” I reminded him of the family we always dreamed of as my eyes filled with wistful tears.

“Nova or Aurora,” he smiled, saying the names like a fond memory, a beautiful one that he grasped tightly in the cold nights we spent away from one another.

My breath hitched in my throat as I thought of the names we’d come up with as we gazed up at the stars one night. My hair was splayed out against his chest and abdomen, and we laid in the grassy meadow that sat a short walk away from the tree. We stared up at the stars together, his fingers tangling themselves into my curls, and we listed off names that we loved. All of them were names I seldom imagined lately, the thought of them only bringing me pain. At the top of the list was Nova and...Aurora. My heart nearly suffocated me, “I’d want more than two,” I whispered before pressing a kiss to his delicate lips.

He smiled up at me, “I remember that, and so would I,” he murmured, his hand coming to rest against my lower abdomen, mindful of the wound I had bound up. The movement was one he made often after we were finished our intimate acts of love, almost as if he had-for centuries-been trying to will a child into existence. This time, though, he was making his intentions as clear as the night sky.

“Don’t break my heart, Loki,” I warned him, knowing how sensitive I was to the concept of children, of starting a family with him. They would be the embodiment of our love.

His eyes darkened as he became serious, understanding just how sensitive I was to the topic, “I want to have a baby with you, Eva. I want children together, and if I could change history, we would’ve started our family centuries ago instead of tiptoeing around the subject of children, which was largely because of how insecure I was about myself and my ability to be good at...anything, especially being a father to the children we would have,” he confessed, being more transparent with me about it than he ever had before. He was finally admitting to what I’d always known. He was quiet on that matter because he was afraid, “while I still think I’m too tainted and broken to be a father, I know that taking the journey with you will only make me a better man just as it always has. It’s what’s missing, and I don’t want to wait any longer, but the choice is not solely up to me, it’s up to you as well.”

“And what if we had begun our family sooner?” I asked in an attempt to get him to realize that prior to the events of his fall, we were lucky to have not had several children as we both dreamed of. We were lucky. Lucky. Lucky. He was lucky. The pain my love felt at the hands of Thanos, while great and detrimental, paled in comparison to the agony that I experienced when I was forced to abandon the last shred of love, happiness, and joy. I would’ve taken a thousand years of torture at the hands of Thanos when I thought of what happened. I wanted my mind to be ripped away from me if it meant that I didn’t lose all that I did. Loki’s fall tore my heart and soul apart, but his return and the subsequent repercussions of that tore me apart even more than I thought possible. The day after he returned was the day I travelled to Midgard as two and returned as one. It was the day Heimdall cried. It was the day I wished with every ounce of my being that Loki had simply killed me on Midgard. Loki was the lucky one.

As he turned my question over and over again in his mind, I continued speaking, “what would’ve happened if the events transpired the same way they did in the garden? What would’ve happened if the man who wanted to hurt me so intimately knew that we had a child together-a child that would mean more to me than all the lives in the universe combined? Tell me he wouldn’t have hurt her...or him,” I pressed, trying to get him to realize the crushing reality of our past. His dream to go back and start a family sooner was a sweet sentiment but an impossible reality. Most of our past was a dream to look at, to revel at the beauty of it, but dreams had to end, and we had to be awake to what was in front of us. I had the man of my dreams before me, so every moment in our past had led us up to this single moment in time. I was grateful for it. I was the lucky one.

In Loki’s silence, I saw that he was coming to the realization that should we have split apart in the same soul-crushing way, he would’ve done the unthinkable. He had nearly killed me, and it wasn’t until I could feel the cold caress of Death that he came around. Even then, I had to fight to survive. If it wasn’t for Tony, my final words to him on that day would’ve been my final words to him. Period. His eyes disconnected from mine, and he turned his gaze away in shame. That wasn’t the point of my question, though. I didn’t mean to make him feel shame over his actions, but I wanted him to understand that the timing wasn’t right for those reasons. I didn’t want him to dwell on what we didn’t have but see what we could have moving forward. I grasped his chin and turned his head until our eyes connected once more, “maybe you would’ve stayed by my side every moment, and you would’ve disregarded Odin’s cruelty. Maybe we would’ve run away together to be married on Midgard, but that’s not how it worked out for us, and there’s no going back to change it.”

“I have never turned to anyone for the elixir,” I confessed, causing his eyes to ignite and burn like the light of a thousand stars. The elixir was one made of special herbs and fruits around Asgard as well as water from the Neverending Spring. Asgardian sorcerers brewed the elixir to put a halt to unintended pregnancy. I had never inquired about the elixir as I’d always been willing to mother Loki’s children. That was what solidified our love for him in that moment. I saw the change in his eyes, the bright passion burning behind irises of pure and radiant crystal blue. He was overjoyed, and it made him realize that my intentions, my love for him, my devotion to him had never changed, “we’ve never taken precautions, so maybe fate has made us wait this long for a reason. Maybe the universe put our love to the test to see if we were truly ready for this. Maybe this is the beginning,” I murmured, resting my hand atop his on my abdomen.

Our eyes danced with joy and passion, like two flames taunting each other. They knew they could do no harm to the other. They were made of fire, and fire didn’t live in fear of being burned. It was that moment that we both came to the realization that we couldn’t move on without the other, that the stars had aligned and allowed us the second chance we so desperately needed, “if you were to ask me to have a baby with you right now,  my answer is clear in the love we created tonight. My plans with you never changed, not even for a moment. Even after you broke my heart, you could’ve come running back to me and asked for my hand, and I would’ve said ‘yes’ to you,” I continued, my voice strong and sure. I could feel the familiar stir within me, one I had felt before, one that began the most exhilarating journey of my life. It was a journey that ended in pain and sorrow, but it was a journey nonetheless. Excitement filled me as I felt the whisper of life itself against my skin. I knew this feeling. She was speaking to me.

You are ready.

Her voice was gentle, loving, and more gratifying than the sweets from the shop in the center of the market that Loki and I used to frequent at least once each week. Usually, when I focused on the connection I had to the planet below me, I could feel each of their life energies. However, this voice was unfamiliar to me. It wasn’t the voice of Asgard, but it was the disembodied voice of the essence of life. We were connected, joined together as one. Her voice was a melody my heart knew the words to. My heart, without her, had only known the melancholy melody of the most grief-stricken song to have ever been upon my lips. Now, the flowers in my heart began to bloom once more, spring taking over as the cardinal season. With her words digging deep within me, I knew that she was right.

I was ready.

Throughout the night, Loki and I spoke with one another, basking in each others presence. He spoke briefly about his time with Thanos, but his eyes filled with fear when they witnessed the anger in mine. He was thorough in his questions, asking about what I had done in the time without him and inquiring about the Midgardians. I told him everything-almost everything. We spoke of Hjalmar, and he shed tears for a lost friend-a brother-when I told him about my brother’s final battle. He asked about Tony, still feeling a sense of urgent protectiveness over him. Loki had made a similar promise to Howard and Maria to keep Tony safe, and he was certain that should we meet them in whatever life came after this, they would have his head for what he put Tony through.

He knew better, though.

When I explained the situation with Tony, Loki was filled with restlessness. He looked as if he wanted to go down to Earth to help fix the mess because he couldn’t fix the ones in the past. His guilt was eating away at him, and it hurt to see that. As soon as the time was right, I’d take Loki to Midgard with me, and he could have his chance to apologize to the faces of those he victimized. In the meantime, while it was clear that he didn’t want me to leave the “safety” of Asgard, he understood my protective instincts over Tony. I saw Tony as one of my own. I nurtured him when he was an infant. I held him when he cried, played with him, laughed with him, cared for him, loved him. He grew up to be a man capable of so much more than he dreamed, but I couldn’t see him as a man. I couldn’t see him as Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. I still saw him as the little boy with big brown eyes and a heart of gold that put Asgard to shame. Tony was still a precious gem in my eyes, and Loki saw that as clear as day in the way I spoke about him. We both had deep connections to Tony, but I never managed to distance myself enough from him.

Upon the realization that I wouldn’t give up on my trip to Midgard, all Loki asked of me was to return home to him. He had accepted long ago that my destiny was to help those in need, to protect those that I loved most, to be their shield. He knew that helping Tony was my priority, and he didn’t try to talk me out of it. He respected the love I harbored for the Midgardians. It was a love we both shared at one point, and it was a love he would rebuild. All he wanted was to make sure I knew that he would be waiting for me when I returned. He just wanted to give me another reason to return, not knowing that he’d never left that ever-growing list of reasons I had to live another day.

As the sky began to brighten ever so slowly in the early hours of the morning, I knew that the time for me to leave was approaching, and I finally realized how lucky I was. I had been given the chance of a lifetime. I lived long enough to have this moment with Loki. Everything had fallen into place so perfectly. If anything had happened any differently, I never would’ve had such precious time with my love. If I hadn’t checked on Tony that night to find out he was in trouble, if I hadn’t stumbled across the shack and met Harley, if I hadn’t allowed myself to grow attached to the little boy with starlight in his eyes, if I hadn’t agreed to help Tony in his mission to stop the Mandarin, if I hadn’t asked Kaia what she was afraid of, if I hadn’t nearly died none of this would’ve happened. I was given the opportunity to spend one last night with the love of my life, my soulmate, my happily ever after, my prince, the light of my life, my Loki. It was a gift, and our time together was coming to an end.

With tears of a bittersweet ending rising to my eyes, I gazed over at him with nothing but fond memories flooding my mind. It felt like our love was back to the way it once was. It was fresh yet familiar. I was the luckiest woman in all the universe because I had just a single night holding my whole world in my arms, but I couldn’t help the constant barrage of scenarios that could play out once I left. As soon as the first tear fell, his eyebrows furrowed, “what’s wrong, my love?”

I cleared my throat, trying to keep myself from breaking down. The mere thought that this could potentially be my final night with the man I loved, that it could so easily go back to how it was before, it made me fall into the pit of despair I had become acquainted with. I didn’t want to emptiness there anymore. My life without him wasn’t always painful, it was that the space he took up by my side was empty, and the space in my heart that he filled with love was a hole. In those moments of missing him so greatly, of missing what we could’ve been, what I missed because of him, I had often entertained my darker fantasies. I would think of throwing myself in front of my enemy’s sword, of plunging one of the daggers he had gifted me straight into my heart, of throwing myself from the Bifrost. I entertained those ideas until I was filled with fear that I would actually give into one of them. Living without him made me stronger, but when I tried to look at my future without him, it tore me down to nothing, so much so that the most appealing option was to make it so that I had no future to experience. Would I tell him that? Never. He didn’t deserve the pain of knowing what his absence had done to me. He blamed himself enough, and I wouldn’t add to it, “I just...I’ve missed you so much, and what if I’m never this happy again? What if things go back to the way they were before?” I asked, voicing my greatest fear.

He didn’t skip a single beat, “they won’t,” he answered with a sense of assuredness.

“But you don’t know that,” I argued, standing up from the grass. After making love to each other for a second time that night, we had redressed ourselves. My gown, much like his shirt, was still slightly disheveled from being hurriedly pulled from my body and tossed to the side.

Just as I moved to stand up, he was right behind me, pushing himself up from the ground, ready to argue against my pessimism, “I do know that!” he insisted, his voice stronger than it was before. Loki and I had experienced our fair share of arguments during our time together, but it always ended with those three little words and a kiss. We never retired to bed or away from one another until the argument was resolved and any hostility had been put to rest. Loki’s eyes burned with a fiery passion, and I saw how serious he was in his words, how unmovable his love always had been. There was a part he wasn’t letting me see, a part that he wasn’t telling me, but I knew that he told me no lies in that moment, “I was the person who put the strain on our relationship, the one who broke your heart, and-in turn-broke my own. I know what I did to you, and I hate myself for that. I can’t excuse any of that, and I can’t take it back no matter how badly I want to. All I know is that not a single moment passed where I didn’t think of you,” he confessed, tears of frustration and despair filling his eyes. I knew that I caused some of that despair by questioning what the future held.

“Thanos tried to pull you out, tear you away from me. He wanted to drown me, and you were my air. Thinking about you hurt me so deeply because I knew the last memories I left you with were painful ones. I tried not to think of you, but every single time I closed my eyes, you were right there like an ethereal dream within a chaotic, inescapable nightmare. I loved you even when every ounce of love was ripped away from me and replaced with a burning hatred. I felt your warm embrace from galaxies away even in the heat of my torture. I know what life was like without you, what my future looked like without you, and I realized that death would be more comforting than a future-a life-without you,” he explained, causing my tears to flow even faster. I didn’t want to think that he had been just as lost without me as I was without him, “you’re my princess, my queen, my love, my light, my life, my most exquisite dream. You are the very best part of me, Eva, and I don’t want this to go away ever again. Seeing you-being with you once more-has been like feeling the sun on my skin after a long night. You are everything to me, and I will fight until my last breath to keep this alive because I love you...endlessly, without reason, without a care for time or circumstance. I love you because I love you, and I’d sooner forfeit my own life than live another day without the warmth of our love shining into the darkest corners of my heart.”

His words caused my heart to swell with joy, but I couldn’t shake the fear in my heart. There were so many uncertainties in my life at that moment, and Loki was trying to put one of them to bed. I knew that he told me no lies. He was genuine. He wouldn’t leave me again, but that didn’t mean we wouldn’t be alone. The possibility that I would leave him was still far too great, but I couldn’t explain to him the unbalanced scales within me. I felt more powerful than ever before, but I also felt weaker than ever. I was afraid of dying for the first time in such a long time, but I couldn’t express those fears to him, not when I knew he feared the same fate for me.

As I cried, Loki’s strong, slender arms wrapped around my body, and he pulled me flush against his own. He held me against him, inhaling with my exhale as our bodies accommodated one another. One of the purest, most beautiful things about Loki was that he never tried to stop my tears. It broke his heart to see me cry, just as it broke mine when I witnessed his tears, but he never interfered with my sorrow. Instead, he held me until the last tear fell, and he would sit with me in the aftermath, losing his fingers in my hair, whispering sweet nothings to me, and pressing the most delicate kisses against my skin. He never left me even when the darkness scared him as much as it scared me. Instead, we faced it together.

When the tears finally subsided, with one hand under my chin, he tilted my head up until our eyes met-the ocean meeting the land. The pads of his fingers wiped away the wetness on my cheeks, and he leaned his forehead against mine, our noses brushing together ever so lightly, “do you remember that one night in Venice when we took the gondola ride in the middle of the night?” he asked, bringing up a memory that had always made us laugh looking back on it. A chuckle escaped my lips, but he continued, “we asked the gondolier to sing, and when you started to sing with him, he was so shocked at your voice that he went to step back and fell off the gondola,” he reminded me, refreshing such a joyous memory. Once the ride had finished, the gondolier had asked me to sing to him, and after the incident I’d caused, I couldn’t deny him such a simple request.

As the laughter overcame me, Loki finally stepped away from me, releasing my body from his warm embrace, but I still felt the warmth of that memory in my soul. His eyes scanned me up and down, drinking me in once more, and a feeling of such serenity fell over us both. Our eyes connected, and I saw something I’d only seen in him a handful of times in the past, times when I thought that it would be that moment in which he was finally brave enough. His eyes were just as playful as they always had been in the past, but this time, they were also filled with a romantic intensity, “in 1845, we visited Charlotte, do you remember that?” he asked, referring to one of the many times we had visited a woman I considered to be one of my closest friends in all my life.

I nodded my head, “it was the time you let Anne and Emily braid your hair in the parlor,” I reminisced about Charlotte’s two sisters with a fondness. They were all so beautifully spoken, creating some of the most beautiful works I’d ever had the privilege of reading, and they were gone before their time. That day in particular, though, Anne and Emily had braided Loki’s hair in the parlor, laughing and giggling with one another the entire time until they presented him to Charlotte and myself. He was never annoyed with any of them, always wanting to make the three women smile, especially because he knew that my happiness was dependent on theirs.

He nodded his head, a smile forming on his lips, “do you remember when I asked to speak with Charlotte in private?” he asked, cocking his head to the side as his eyes danced with a magic of their own.

“So that you two could plan my inevitable demise,” I joked, smiling as I remembered the connection we all shared. I knew that he missed her just as dearly as I had. All of us had been born of the same dying star, so when the universe lost her, we all felt it.

He chuckled at my lightheartedness, and he looked down at his feet, his cheeks flushing with color as he remembered their conversation, “it was so that I could ask her to put something within the novel that could be used for this very moment, words that I spoke and she scrawled,” he confessed, his words causing my heart to stop beating altogether. It felt like his words knocked the wind from my lungs, and I was left hopelessly speechless, “I knew that it would be the part of the novel that would move you and your tragic heart that I’ve loved since the beginning of time, and I wanted my words to live within that. For years, you’ve read them to me over and over again, and now, I’ll finally tell them to you as they were meant to be conveyed, but this time...I hope for a more pleasant outcome.”

Loki had always known my favorite part of that novel, the part in which Jane realized her worth and denied Rochester his proposal. His words had been so eloquent and beautiful, but she refused to marry him, knowing that she would be nothing more than his mistress. Before I could speak, he continued, quoting my favorite part of the novel, the part me and my tragic heart had a connection to, “I have for the first time found what I can truly love-I have found you. You are my sympathy-my better self-my good angel-I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my centre and spring of life, wrap my existence about you-and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one,” he quoted the part of the novel that always made me cry, without fail. That time was no different, but the reason for my tears was foreign in regards to those words. They had a new meaning.

He reached down between us in the grass and plucked a blade of it up, holding it at eye level as he scanned it just as he had done to me only a moment prior. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing. He knew my connection to the world, and he never defaced her unless he found it necessary. She gave just as freely to him as she did to me, and we always gave back to her. I furrowed my eyebrows as I watched his fingers work the piece of grass into a circle, “June 14th, 1945, you danced with Howard Stark, and he asked you to marry him. He promised to buy you the biggest, most beautiful ring in all of New York. He promised you the biggest wedding money could buy, and he promised you the most beautiful dress that he’d have custom made for you, but you turned him down. Do you remember what you said to him?”

I have no need for a custom made dress or an extravagant wedding. I have no need for such a ring, either. All I’ve ever needed in my life...is love, and I found that in Loki, in the man I plan to spend the rest of my life with...He could ask for my hand with a blade of grass tied around my finger, and I would say “yes” to him in a heartbeat.

I nodded my head, clasping my hand over my mouth, unable to speak as the tears flowed freely. I knew what was happening. I knew what was about to happen. My life would change forever, but I was ready for it. Seeing that I couldn’t speak, he chuckled to himself, glancing down at the ring made of grass in his hands. I watched as it began to glow with a golden hue surrounding it as he imbued it with his magic. When his gaze finally met mine once more, I saw the tears in his eyes. He looked so happy-happier than any other moment we shared together, but he also looked so nervous all at the same time. I stepped closer to him, reaching up to cradle his face in my hands. I pressed a firm kiss to his lips, lingering there as I basked in the beauty of that moment.

After pulling away from him, he cleared his throat, kneeling down to the ground on one knee, causing the tears to fall faster than before, clouding my vision of him as I struggled to steady my breathing. “I have had the privilege of getting to love you since the beginning of time. Now, I’m asking you to allow me the honor of loving you until time ceases to exist. You are the loveliest, gentlest, most powerful woman I’ve ever known. I want to wake up every morning to the sweet sight of you, your hair a mess and your body tangled in the sheets. I want to fall asleep with my final words being words of love to you, falling asleep with your body against my own. I want my last view in this life to be of your eyes. My love for you spans to the edge of the universe and back again. You’re my favorite part of every day,” he murmured, tears falling down his cheeks as I reached down between us to wipe them away, “you told me once at the very beginning of this relationship that being together was a bad idea, but if that’s true, then this is the best bad idea I’ve ever made. You told me that you wouldn’t agree to be my wife until I was brave enough to ask you. Well, I’m brave enough now, and I’m choosing you.”

It was real. This wasn’t just a lead-up to him backing out suddenly. This was happening, “Loki,” I breathed out, unable to form a coherent thought. My whole future was right in front of me, and I already knew my answer to his unspoken question.

He drew a deep breath, calming himself before uttering the words I had waited so very long to hear from him, “Eva, daughter of Aaldir, the light and love of my life,” he paused, our eyes connecting with each others, dancing together in the most beautiful, vulnerable moment we’d ever had with one another. He held up the ring made from the blade of grass, realizing that this was the beginning of our forever and always, “will you marry me?”

He could ask for my hand with a blade of grass tied around my finger, and I would say “yes” to him in a heartbeat.

[heavenofficialsbl]

H.O.B. Chapter 12 part ii

Chapter 12 part ii: A Ghost in Red Sets Fire Upon The Military and Civil Temples part ii

I’m sorry this has taken me so long to write! I’m trying to get my sleep schedule back on track and that means I put myself to bed earlier (I usually write these before bed). Oh well, maybe I’ll get better with my time management as I do more of these. ALSO: if anyone is interested, I have an HOB discord for anyone that would like to join. Please shoot me a DM for the link <3

ALSO ALSO: Thank you guys so much for 500 followers! You make me so happy UwU <3 I didn’t think there would be this many people interested in HOB since it’s still so early into the translation, and it seems that the English speaking fandom is rather small right now, so it makes me really happy to see all of you guys enjoying the content!

Let’s get started!

OH BOY, I forgot that we had just gotten Hua Cheng’s name! I don’t know if XL is familiar with him or his name at all, but we’ll see...

Alright so Hua Cheng is translated to... Well it’s directly translated to ‘flower city’ which cracks me up. I have a feeling that this is going to somehow be connected to Xie Lian also being known as the “Flower crown Prince”. It’s funny how he had such a gentle and kind memory of HC leading him through the forest, while everyone else is on edge just at the mention of him

Daww, XL is part of the Four Famous Tales <3 That’s somehow very comforting/pleasing to hear. Even though he ended up being cast out from Heaven, he at least had some positive stories told about him

It does seem a bit odd that he hadn’t heard of these Four Great Calamities, though maybe it’s just for story-telling purposes so we can hear them explained

Oh please don’t tell me that XL is the White Clothed Calamity D: HC has to be the Bloody Rain Reaching Towards a Flower (that’s even the name of the first arc that we’re in ohoho). I’m also guessing that the Green Light Wandering Nights guy is the one who hangs corpses in the forest?

Mmmmm then maybe the White-Clothed Calamity isn’t XL, if they’re those that became ghosts

Ohhh interesting... I thought that the demon realm would be separate from the mortal realm like the Heavens are. I guess that just comes from being used to the idea of Hell though. That’s very discomforting though, as a human in this world, to know that all of the worlds demons and ghosts just live among you

Oh, I was right about something! So it is Green Ghost Qi Rong

The water demon doesn’t make hardly any trouble and still is listed first, while mister GG causes mayhem all the time and isn’t even Devastation level. People really do love having things that match lol they probably did just add him to make it 4

The White Clothed Calamity isn’t XL, but he seems painfully familiar with the name. It seems that this demon is the one who wiped out his own kingdom 800 years ago. I can imagine how painful it must be for him to hear that name. I wonder if he was extinguished right after/soon after he destroyed Xian Le kingdom, or if he died later on  

Deathly Spirit Butterflies: cool as hell name 

“Wan’t to provoke the least”: note, not the one the Heavens “hate the most” or the one that Heaven “considers the strongest”, but the one that they “don’t want to provoke”. I don’t know if this is a literal translation or if it was just written this way to keep the flow of the story, but to think that the Heavens are wary of HC and consider him such a great threat that they, instead of trying to destroy him, are instead actively avoiding him/trying not to give him a reason to turn on them... I think that says a lot

For XL to be as famous and Jun Wu but forced to be a scrap collector for 800 years while the other lives in luxury... oof

If one wanted to get to know a Heavens’ Official, they’d only need to take a walk, find a temple to visit, examine the god’s statue, study how they dressed, and what kind of enchanted weaponry they carried. With that, one could understand them to a certain extent

Except for the fact that we’ve explored how these thing change depending on the artist of the statue and the popularity of the Official... Artistic liberty and such

Do they think his name is fake because of how little it fits him? As for his appearance, people can lost of different personalities. I wouldn’t put it past him to change his appearance either, as he seems to be quite powerful.

Where can I get me a man who is always accompanied by blood rain and butterflies?

Of the stories that are given, I think he’s gonna beeeee probably a mixture of all four actually

OoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO oh yeah okay I have thought’s and ideas after reading that he became an official and left on his own okay yes please lets just say #heavypining

“Even if it was true, it still had to be false” xD So thats what those in Heaven find embarrassing? Interesting

Alright, so we find out that even demons/ghosts can have worshipers. We also learn that HC is probably Loki in disguise

It was almost at the point where he had enough power to cover the skies with just a single hand.

I can see why the Heavens are cautious of him. I hadn’t realized that he also had such a large following that was comparable to the Heavenly Officials’ following

He had just come out of a volcano, but that’s not important~

Okay, time to do a bit of research on poison and why it made him so formidable

*insert jeopardy theme here*

Alright so what I’m seeing about Gu is that it’s a traditional CHinese poison made by sealing several venomous creatures in a container, like snakes, spiders, and scorpions, etc., and letting them eat each other, and thus condensing the venom inside one body. It was used for things like causing disease and death, but also could possibly be used as a love charm...? this os from wikipedia:

"For centuries, the Miao, particularly Miao women", writes Schein (2000:50-51), "have been feared for their mastery of the so-called gu poison, which is said to inflict death from a distance with excruciating slowness."

Let’s go back a bit, shall we?

“...sometimes a temperamental and disagreeable teenager, sometimes a gentle, kind and elegant beautiful man, or sometimes a gorgeous female ghost with a poisonous heart.”   

These things have really got me thinking now. I can’t stop reading about the poison GAH it’s so interesting!

I was confused with the wording of the sentence, “It was not a city where everyone raises Gu...” because why would someone RAISE poison? But now it makes sense, as the Gu, or Ku, is the survivor of that venomous buffet. When raised for a long time, it would continue to grown more venomous/poisonous

Oh. OH. Hua Cheng wasn’t studying Gu or making Gu, he IS Gu. Shit.

Okay he has to be Loki in disguise. To be a strong warrior and a competent scholar? Jeeze, he sounds like he really does have a lot of facets to his personality. To win in debates, you need to know when to yield and when to push. It makes me think of how when fishing, you need to sometimes let the fish swim away, but by doing that, you’re more likely to catch the fish in the end

Oh my god Hua Cheng offered his own ashes if he lost the bet, but he knew he would win xD When it says that he “openly invited” the 35 Officials, I wonder if he invited them by name, or if he just asked for 35 random Officials. I bet they were ones that were, at some point, cruel to XL huehuehue

And which 2 Officials thought he might actually defeat them? It says only 33 thought there wasn’t any chance, but that leaves two who thought he did have a chance. It seems like they didn’t participate, since it says that 33 lost the bet. I have a feeeeeeeeeling thats its XL’s two generals, because why wouldn’t it be? We need more circles withing circles, right?

In any case, people were very forgetful, in another fifty years, perhaps no one would remember it.

HAHAHA good luck with that

I can see why they don’t want to deal with him: he’s strong, cunning, and unpredictable. I doubt the Officials every get their temples burned (at least, it probably happens very, very rarely) so why would they think that HC would target the temples? They were left totally open and unguarded. What a smart cookie

I also like that he didn’t go after the two who decided not to fight him. I think that shows that he is, in a way, reasonable. He could have easily burned theirs as well, but they didn’t accept his challenge or his bet, so he left them alone.

Oh and it’s not just 33 temples, it’s all of the temples of all 33 Officials. Hoo boy, Hua Cheng, hoo boy

Jun Wu is right: don’t agree to something with such high stakes and then cry when it turns against you

Hua Cheng had also been very crafty, he only destroyed the temples and did not harm anyone.

A. GOOD. COOKIE.

Wait wait wait wait they can GO INTO PEOPLES DREAMS?! DUDE. They went into the dreams of such influential people and then lost so horribly RIP HEAVEN OFFICIALS WHO’S ARROGANT NOW BISH

So from everything that I’m reading about HC here, it seems that, and excuse me for bringing up Thor again, he doesn’t seek war, but is always prepared for it. He doesn’t openly attack people, but he’s certainly ready to fight if he needs to or feels threatened

Aaaaaaaaaaaand now a lot of them respect him. It must be such a weird dynamic between HC and the Officials: they’re Heavenly Officials for... heavens sake, and he is someone who, at least according to rumor at this point, had denounced his title as an Official and then became even stronger than many of the still current Officials. The more I read this, the more I understand why they can’t stand him. I think it’s not so much that they despise him like the 4 Clans despise WWX and want him dead, but more that they just want nothing to do with him, and are content with just staying away from him

Oh I totally saw that coming, that Mu Qing and Feng Xin were the two smart ones (or maybe they were just super uninterested) that didn’t bother with fighting HC

Op yep, it seems it was a bit of both haha they were busy and just didn’t want to bother. I wonder what their encounters were outside of the bet, since it says that they fought HC multiple times

Tadaaaahhhh- Our Highness the Crown Prince Xie Lian is totally smitten with those damn butterflies. I want to know what they do, or how HC uses them for the others to fear them that much. It says they cause “frantic devastation” so I want to see how they work

WEll I’m so glad that we’re finally getting some actual information on HC (I wasn’t expecting this much information this soon!). WE definitely still don’t know everything about him, so I can’t make a really good guess on what his personality is or anything about his character/morality, but he seems to be smart and reasonable to an extent.

Well, thanks for reading guys! See you hopefully in a few days when I get to chapter 13!

-Bee

[fanfic-collection]

Vampire: Loki x Reader - Pt 14

Tag list: catalinaacosta , starscreamloki , dream-reaper , hufflepuff-always-and-forever , portietomednalynn , all-these-wonderful-things , jayyx3oxo , littlelokilover  , jessiejunebug , littlelokilover , vanessaaaasdfghjkl  , lokislilslut , thatmemequeen , luisaskywalker , tadashi-dash , kcd15

There was a bad TV show on in the background and it affected my writing I think... another filler chapter! Also, this story took an entirely different turn than I expected but I’m hoping to get to the nitty gritty soon or eventually, whenever it pops up but I want the romance just as much as you guys...

Waking up, you felt stiff all over. You started suddenly, blinking around at the now familiar interior of the farmhouse.

“Careful.” Loki muttered from somewhere beside you. “I healed you, but you're still weak from the hypothermia and lack of food.” You heard him sigh, and his voice lower, “both likely my fault.”

“The food definitely was.” You muttered, struggling to sit up.

Loki's face was full of concern as your propped yourself up on your elbows. Slowly you pushed yourself into a fully seated position. Loki reached his hands out, ready to catch you. You pushed them away, wrapping your arms around him in a fierce hug.

“Thank you.” You whispered, burying your face in his chest. “You saved me.” Loki stiffened, his hand gently touching your back in response, not daring to accept the hug.

“From a danger you wouldn't have faced if I weren't keeping you here.” Loki sighed again heavily.

Your stomach growled and he pulled away, pressing you back to a laying position. Loki turned and crossed the room, grabbing a bag from the ground and brought it to you. The contents smelled heavenly, your favorite preserved foods and you tore the bag open, heartily devouring it.

“Slowly, or you'll make yourself sick.” Loki murmured, “I would know.”

“You can drink too fast?” You asked around mouthfuls of food.

“Why do you think I reacted in such a way after a week of starving?”

You nodded thoughtfully, frowning, “I guess that makes sense.”

Loki yawned widely, glancing towards the curtained window then back at you. You glanced down at your side, curious of his handiwork. A thin scar marred your side, the only sign of the wolves' attack. For a moment, you blinked, slowly realizing that you were wearing a new shirt. You looked up at Loki uncertainly.

Loki looked away from you, “Your other shirt was quite tattered, I took the liberty of changing it.”

“Right.” Your cheeks heated up and you absently pressed the back of your hand to them. You were mindful to eat slower as Loki sat on a chair beside the bed, hovering and watching.

Time passed in silence between the two of you. Loki had retrieved a bottle for water and you were able to drink without leaving the bed.

“So you can shapeshift?”

“I've always been good at changing my form, illusions and the like. It seems my curse has enhanced certain forms.”

“The wolf.”

Loki nodded, “Yes. It makes travel simpler. Though I found that I can traverse land quickly even in this form.”

“You're just fast now?”

Loki chuckled, “I wouldn't say that.”

You blinked at him, looking up from the food then back down at it. Setting the food aside, you wiped your hands on the blankets covering your legs and faced Loki again. “So now what?”

“I would quite appreciate you staying here and not wandering out, especially without proper clothing for this weather.”

“So that it? I just wile away my life in this farmhouse as you hide from your brother and murder civilians that cross your path, stealing my food so I don't starve?”

Loki's eyes flashed and he stood up, turning away from you. His hands clenched into fists, releasing and clenching again. “No.”

“Well what then? You used to be a planner you said.”

Loki spun around, “I told you, I can't think like that. It's hunger, always hunger.” His voice softened and he trailed off.

“Analise seemed to work past the hunger.”

“Did you meet her yourself?”

“No.”

Loki laughed dryly, “She never visited after I changed, I wouldn't know if it's possible either.”

“So maybe it's possible. Maybe you can live some semblance of a normal life, just with a modified diet,  maybe you can hunt animals instead of humans.”

“I tried. I retched for hours afterwards. I could barely move, it was like drinking poison.”

You winced, “Alright, well maybe stick to donations.”

“As if I could just waltz into a hospital after dusk and collect my fill without question.”

“Thor had an arrangement set up.”

“Thor.” Loki hissed, turning away.

“He's your brother, he wants to help you. Why not go back to him?”

Loki glanced back at you and his eyes flashed but he didn't respond.

You held your hands up, “Right, right, the chains, sorry. I was just hoping that maybe we could move forward from that.”

“Have you even been caged like a beast?”

You looked around the small farmhouse, “Kinda.”

Loki followed your gaze and nodded slowly, “I suppose you would understand somewhat. Huddled in the dark, nothing but whispers running through your mind, that insistent thirst...” Loki trailed off.

“That's because you were locked in the basement, what if we convinced Thor to let you have free reign of the house?”

“Do you really think he would trust me after what I've done?”

“No, but he might trust me.”

“That's not a gamble I'm prepared to take.”

You huffed softly, folding your arms. “So what, we just stay here like this, day in and day out. You leaving all night to hunt and me waiting for you?”

Loki crossed the room and came back with another bag, pouring its contents onto the bed. Book after book spilled out, covering half the bed. “So long ago... I enjoyed reading.”

“These will probably keep me occupied for a bit. But,” You sighed heavily, swaying your head as you searched for words. “Loki, I need to do things, I need a purpose, I can't just wile away my life reading, surely you understand that?”

Loki gazed morosely at the books, “More than you know.”

“Why don't we go back? The food is more varied, you can focus on well focusing. We can have you stay out of the basement except if you need to at night, I'm sure we can remove the door so you can pass freely. You won't have to kill people, you don't want to, do you?”

Loki picked at his thumb, looking this way and that, “I don't... want to. No.” He swallowed hard, “I don't know.” He looked back at you, “It feels right, the blood is fresh and warm.” Closing his eyes, he swallowed hard. When he reopened his eyes, they held a dazed look as he studied you, almost not seeing you.

“What if... what if we supplement the other blood with...” you bit your lip, swallowing hard, “with fresh blood?”

“And how do you recommend doing that?”

“If we go back to Thor,” You held the silence for as long as you could, waiting to make sure you had Loki's full attention, “you could drink from me, not enough to kill me obviously but, but to supplement the donated blood.”

Loki's eyes widened, his tongue darted out, smoothing along his upper lip, brushing against his fangs as he studied you. Slowly he shook his head, “I... I can't, I couldn't. I shouldn't.”

“Why not? It would be a good way to teach you restraint. And it wouldn't be the first time you've tasted my blood.”

“What it takes to stop me from taking you then and there...” Loki looked at you hungrily.

Ignoring the possible double meaning of his words, you pressed on, “What if we started small? I could extract blood medically and it would still be decently warm, that might help... break your addiction. I mean, I've donated blood before, it'd be just like selling plasma for Marcy, it wouldn't be that often but.” You stopped, thinking of Marcy. Tears suddenly pricked at your eyes as you thought of how long it had been since you last saw her. What if Thor had dropped his end of the promise since it was technically your fault that Loki escaped. You pressed your hands to your face, trying to stop the tears. “Oh Marcy.” You whimpered.

You felt Loki's strong arms around you, the scent of his skin enveloping your mind. It was intoxicating and almost enough to push away your misery but the worry for Marcy was too strong. “What if Thor abandoned her?” You wailed. “What if he tossed her to the side since I failed? Oh no...” You moaned weakly.

Loki rocked you back and forth. The bed dipped down beside you and Loki wrapped you tighter in his arms, pulling you onto his lap. “It's alright, darling, hush now, don't fret. Thor wouldn't do that. He may have laxed in judgment on my behalf but he is not cruel, my brother would not abandon your sister.”

“You really think so?” You pulled your hands away, looking up at him and sniffling.

Loki nodded, “I'm positive.” He sighed, “The allure of tasting you again is quite appealing, but for your sister's sake, I will return. Promise that you won't let him chain me again, won't you?”

You smiled weakly, wiping away the tears, “I promise, I'll fight tooth and nail for you and do everything I can to help you break out if he attempts to.”

Loki nodded, a half smile touching the corner of his mouth, “Thank you.”

[theysaywhatasadsight]

Dreams (Peter P. X gender neutral!Reader)

A/N: Sup. This one is for allie’s, aka @spideypeach  ‘s writing challenge. My prompt was “How do you know that? Only, like, 7 people know it”. Huge AF shoutout to @cappletini and @robinswilliam for beta’ing this and helping me when I had no inspo.

(Normal: English, Italics: Old Norse)

You had been through a lot. Killed, when a titan stormed your ship. Your father, in front of your dying eyes, attempt to send Thor away. Him dying when the titan stabbed him. The Allfathers wouldn't let the doorways of the nine realms be unguarded, so they brought you back. You fought, for nobody should lose their world like you lost yours. You lost, saw people disappear in front of your eyes. And then you won, at an immeasurable price.

You woke, gasping for air. Nightmares had plagued you since the war had ended, but even your waking hours did not give you peace. Visions, of the long-gone past and the far-away future; predictions of each path everybody would take. It was enough to make your head pound. So you wrote. And wrote. And wrote some more. Whatever came in your mind. Whatever the Allfathers told you. It never made sense but it felt strangely calming to put down your thoughts. Your eyes had turned a brilliant golden, like your father's. You would still imagine him looking at you, advising you.

 Earth was a strange place. The Compound, as they called it, seemed inescapable, not that you wanted to face the world outside. Uncle Thor seemed to be a part of these so-called heroes, that saved the world from people like The Mad Titan. You were an asset, due to your psychic nature and expert sword wielding, both of which your uncles Loki and Thor had helped you with after your father had gone. 

You had met the Spider on a mission. You could see the enemy aiming for him with something that the Inventor (whom they called Iron Man) had said could see and injure without coming in front of anything. Pushing him out of the way, you had taken the brunt of the attack, which led to you being rushed to the sickroom for treatment. He had come to apologize at first; then to constantly tell you about what treatments and medicines they were going to give you, and then to tell you about himself. He looked to be your age but would be younger than you. 

Uncle Thor had told you that Midgardians aged much faster than those from Asgaard. Still, it felt good to talk to someone who understood. He told you about the nightmares he had, about dying once again, disappearing as ash. And so you fell for him. You weren't a stranger to these feelings, yes. If Asgaard hadn't been destroyed, maybe in a few years you would've had suitors lining up for you. 

Eventually, when the healers let you go, you found yourself spending more time with him. His education wasn't over yet, he had confessed, but he desperately wanted it to. Upon hearing that you were taught swordplay and poisons in your school, he had exclaimed that he wanted to go there until you had smiled sadly at him and he had realized. He had tried to apologize but you had waved him away. 

Your dreams changed. Instead of the horrors of the war, you saw beautiful hazel eyes that refused to look anywhere but at you. You dreamed of the way he would lean his palm on his chin and listen in rapt attention as you spoke of your former home; how he would spread his hands wide while telling you about his life before he was bitten. You broke out of your admiring glances when he waved his hand in front of you.

“YN, you there?”

“Yes, please, continue”

“Am I boring you?”

“Absolutely not.”

“What are you writing?”

“Oh, nothing. I keep getting visions; it calms me down to write them.”

“Can I read them?”

“I doubt you'll be able to”you show him the journal, scribbled with nessy runes.

But he could. From the moment you had saved his life, he had always kept an eye out for you. At first it was to repay you somehow, but it grew to an affection he had for you which he dared not give a name to. Allspeak helped you to communicate with him, but his desire to make you more comfortable arpund him grew to an extent that he asked Thor to teach him your language. One advantage the bite gave him was that he could remember anything easily, and so he learnt. It seemed you wrote a lot of random things: ghastly deaths,declarations of love, achingly confusing dreams. He couldn't make out a lot of the bigger words, but a few kept repeating: ‘him’, ‘spider’, ‘hazel’, ‘dream’, ‘love’. It couldn't be. You weren't writing about him, were you? Reading through, it did make sense. You wrote of the dreams you had, a lot of him.

“Are you done?”

“Um...yeah. These look pretty.”

“Thank You.”

You sat observing him when he seemed lost in his studies, pretending to write. You closed your eyes and mumbled in your mother tongue, “Stop taking over my mind, you beautiful creature”

He blurted out “Thank You.”

You froze and opened your eyes. “You speak Norse? Only like 7 other people know it”

“Now 8, I guess” He had an unmistakable accent, but he spoke it the way they used to, back home on Asgaard. “How do you know? Who taught you, Uncle Thor?”

He looked away, directly into the eyes of Thor who shook his head at him. He had a fondness for you two and helped Peter, to win you over (and of course, to win the bet he and Tony had, over which one of you two would make a move first), but if you got to know that he had tried to interfere, you would kill him.

“Uh, Loki. Yeah, he taught me.”

“Oh, of all the lies in the world! I do not have such a dreadful accent! Lie properly if you will, Spider, invoking the God of Lies!” All of you looked up at a very familiar green-and-black clad figure, looking very, very annoyed.

“For heaven's sake,Uncle Loki! Where had you gone off to after the war?”

“Here and There, Little One. I assure you, if I had to teach you mate our language, I would've done a much better job than darling brother”

“He's not my...ugh!”

Even if he somewhat knew the language, Peter had no idea what was going on, as you, Thor and Loki shouted at each other. He tried to leave you three alone, to properly reunite, but was stopped by the God of Mischief.

“Oh no you don’t, Spiderling. Don’t you dare leave YN alone.”

He caught you glancing at him. You winked at him and hummed something under your breath; a split second later, he found himself whisked away to a field in the middle of nowhere.

“Where are we?”

“I do not know, Spider. Why did you learn Old Norse?”

“I...uhm...ah…”

“Idiot.”

A few weeks later

“Seriously, though, why did you learn?”

“I didn’t want you to feel too out of place here, on Earth.”

“Midgard.”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t feel too out of place here if you’re there along with me.”

“YN, how did you get us to the field that day?”

“I am the gatekeeper of the nine realms, Spider.”

“Gatekeeper who can’t learn English for their boyfriend.”

“Who says?”