#i have never even been to either so i wld have to do a lot of careful cultural research. maybe find someone to check it over. but! worth it

[tyrannuspitch]

it makes me rlly sad to see so many ppl say they wouldn't write fic set outside america (plus maybe the uk, japan, or a few others) bc "no-one would read it". i promise i will read your slovak mafia AU. i will read your jamaican superhero AU, your moroccan time travel AU, your thai coffeeshop AU, whatever you've got. i am in fact actively seeking them out bc i LOVE putting characters in situations. and if it's not a matter of de-americanising but simply of NOT americanising then i promise i will be right there in the trenches with you because if i ever write a thor modern AU i swear to god i WILL be putting those guys in scandinavia where they fucking belong

[autisticempathydaemon]

your match up game looks so fun ‼️‼️‼️‼️ i wanna try it out hehe (rambling ahead)

1. beast of blood by malice mizer :3 i honestly don't have a reason other than it being chaotic enough that it fills up empty noise in my brain lol

2. 5w6 !!

3. ohh i LOVE youtube essays/analyses whether i'm fully listening or have em as background noise, i love horror youtube deep dives, particularly about analog/digital horror series and that one creepypasta iceberg hehe

4. i don't think i've ever had one ? to be honest i don't think i ever thought abt it until i saw it in like . cartoons n shit , never rlly knew about the concept of imaginary friends as a kid 😭

5. recently i use redacted sleep aid audios but most of the time i just . stay awake until my brain shuts down 🤞

6. honestly? i never thought abt this . but the first thing that came into my mind was veronica (idk either!!) though if i genuinely wanted to change my name i'd want it to be gender neutral, and tbh i doubt i'd have any important meaning behind it i'd just pick whatevr sounds nice

7. guy's sleep audio !!!! i joke about wanting guy angst a lot but to be real . this audio of his is so vulnerable .. like before that we only saw him being a goof and stuff yaknow . . idk that one forreals hit different 4 me

8. as much as i love every character, i do not understand why gavin is the most popular😭 don't get me wrong , love him, maybe it's because i haven't listened to the fl series but i do not get the hype💔

9. i don't know all the words per se but i would have to say mean girls . . as problematic as that movie is now its iconic and i love it and i need to rewatch it BAD .

10. damien tbh . haven't gotten to his other audios but i think i would want 2 be besties w him i relate 2 him a good amount (he also seems like the type id be intimidated into doing well in school for)

11. to be real i wld not be able to ramble if im tired LOL i think i'd be more quiet bcz i have a hard time sleeping to begin with

12. tbh just a soda (coca cola bcz i am basic) i go to convenience stores n stuff after school so im only there to pick up something quick before i go home so im in and im out 🔥🔥

13. the 2007 sweeney todd soundtrack 🤞 i cannawt find the movie ANYWHERE and its nostalgic to me so listening to the songs is the closest i'll get to scratch the itch in my brain

14. fnaf tbh EHWHEHW i've been into fnaf ever since i was a kid and it's stuck with me because it's what got me into horror n stuff  🫶

15. i'm a saggitarius, my mbti is INTP, i love horror and fashion, despite wearing a lot of darker alt fashion, my favorite color is pink (my phone case is decorated to the gods its very ridiculous) i like doing my own nails (funnily enough in bright colors) , i think i relate to honey the most in terms of personality, and i like to analyze most of the media im into!!

So part of my thought process is based on your personality types, the Troubleshooter and the Logician. However, I have to admit a bigger part of my reasoning is I think Asher would love your fashion sense and would contrast you so cutely.

Like, on a deep, core level, your personality types give me the impression of someone who’s thoughtful and analytical and capable of solving problems. Those are good traits for a beta’s mate, especially when Asher can have more social, impulsive tendencies. On a funsies level, I imagine Asher dresses like your typical So Cal dude, kinda surfer chic, and he loves your style and what an odd pair you make. Like, on all levels but especially physical, you are the embodiment of the black cat/golden retriever couple.

Asher loves everything about you, so many things about you he finds it hard to pick a favorite. He loves the contrast between your dark clothes and your bright nails, loves asking you to paint his while you’re at it so y’all can match. He loves watching FNAF theories with you, because he was definitely a FNAF teenager. He even loves watching scary movies with you though he’s terrible with them. (Asher’s the type that loves the adrenaline rush while it’s playing but regrets it once it’s time to lock up the house.)

Song:

In the car, I just can't wait/ To pick you up on our very first date/ Is it cool if I hold your hand?/ Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?/ Do you like my stupid hair?/ Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?/ I'm just scared of what you think/ You make me nervous so I really can't eat/ Let's go/ Don't wait/ This night's almost over

Given we canonically know Asher to be a FOB fanboy, it’s hardly a leap to assume he’s a Blink fan, especially this song. I think this particular track is not only fun and nostalgic to him but captures his energy and vibes, how he felt when he first fell in love with you. It’s also catchy as hell, so you know he’s singing this at you full-volume all the time.

Runner-ups:

Anytime someone says they’re a horror fan, I’ve got to put Guy in their big three; one of my top headcanons is that he writes some gripping horror and loves it as a genre. (I also think he loves FNAF lore and finds it so fun, though he was not impressed by the movie.) I also love Lasko for you because I think he admires your bold, authentic fashion choices and finds them inspirational.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[thyfleshc0nsumed]

My gf and I share a friend with benefits who is. Useful :). I’ve been training and am ready to bottom at the snap of your fingers, but they’ve both yet to start training, so I’ve been unable to reciprocate! I know they both really want me to also, it’s not subtle in the slightest. How can I nicely encourage them to stretch/train so I can fulfill their desires and fill them up? I’m otherwise comfortable bottoming all the time, I just feel guilty and don’t know what else to do!

I can't lie, this situation sounds like my own personal hell and I would either kill myself or fake my own death and flee to Malaysia to get out of it.

That being said, it sounds like the best method is the good ol "being autisticly direct". "Hey I really would love to be able to top for you two, how would you feel about training for it?"

That or maybe there is no problem and u subconsciously view bottoming as "passive" when in fact any sexual role is an active one. I was a stone bottom for a long time (still have periods of it) and I wld feel guilty a lot like I was "lazy" or something. But I remember one point it clicked--the way I was giving pleasure to partners was by being open and vulnerable enough to receive it myself. Not diagnosing you with stone, just saying it could maybe be that theres no problem after all. Either way, a simple, quick, direct conversation (more of a check in, really) sounds to be the strat

Also maybe I'm fucked up (and potentially wrong) but like I never have felt the need to do training for anal. The first time I got fisted I hadn't been penetrated by anything for months, they just took their time opening me up with his fingers + coaching me through and making sure I was staying relaxed. Honestly even if I didn't take a fist that day I would've gone home happy, never underestimate the power of a slow, gentle fingerbang

[lionbearfox]

idk if u ever answered this before but if u cld change nahidas canon design in any way whay wld u do? for me while a big part of sumerus whole deal cld be just skin color and physical features being broihht to represent swana peoples, i think nahidas clothes kinda work but i wish they represented more of either hindi or other cultural influences. my biggest wish is four arms. and a bindi. wouldve been so cool

ohhh man. yeah obviously skin color is a big thing for me, not just in sumeru but in all of genshin... even outside of the Very Obvious Racism, having every single character be the approximate color of milk is just bad character design. even among the things that i think make genshin character design in general not that good skin color is easily the biggest one.

you know i've never seriously considered 4 arms but that would totally rule i want that now. that would fuck so hard. but as for what i would really want to change - outside of skin tone, mostly her clothing, honestly? i tend to really like and go for iranian influences when i make edits to sumeru outfits (though i've found it a little hard to find good trustworthy references online, if anybody knows any please tell me!!). i think traditional iranian women and girls clothing have some really fun and interesting cuts on their dresses that i would really love to see in nahida's design! i also think that being more explicit with iranian dress cuts would feel more like nahida and make her design more representative of sumeru as a whole. i took a couple cracks at this a while back (see second image in post), though disclaimer: it consisted of pretty fast doodles and if i were to do an Actual Redesign i'd want to put a lot more deliberacy into it.

i also just really don't love the dress she has in canon LOL. i don't like the cut, i don't think it has a lot of immediately substantive things to show about sumeru & its culture like the other archons' clothes do, i think it's weirdly short and the way it flares doesn't feel natural to me, and i just! really wish it was different! when her design first leaked, i told a friend that nahida's design felt almost celestial instead of sumeran, and i still feel that way. banger palette though at least there's that. i like the colors. you may notice that even in my nahades piece i made edits to the dress to lay a little more naturally, because i cannot stand it. incredibly tragic that this is the situation for my favorite character and Most Special Girl

[uriekukistan]

hello rinnnnn i wld love to hear more about your thoughts on tg!itfs + maybe nobara , specifically in terms of kagune !! full transparency since u sent me that ask the concept has been marinating in my brain and even if it'll probably b a while before i get around 2 designing anything i welcome th opportunity 2 hear any outside ideas !!!!

hii hina :D hope ur doing well !!! dkjgh i love this ask thank u for sending it

tbh i kept going back and forth between drawing my ideas out or not but i think im gonna explain them w words bc im better at that and i trust my ability to convey ideas that way....compared to art where i Do Not

also disclaimer this is within the context of the mini au i have created in my brain (and google docs. but i need to redo it. no longer satisfied)

anyway! tbh i had imagined yuuji as just a human, mostly bc he reminds me a lot of hide at times :') and he takes a similar role in the story i had planned, so i dont rlly have a kagune design in mind for him unforch, but if i could imagine one i'd kinda take inspo from true form sukuna and give him smth like this (saiko's kagune that she used against urie when he framed out pt 2. it's a rinkaku, i never understood the ghoul biology stuff tbsh)

megumi is the one i had the clearest idea for, he's an artificial one-eye, and again i dont understand ghoul biology, but i took design inspo from nue bc hello nue is so cool. my fav shikigami in terms of design. i havent determined how, but he does end up w a half-kakuja (probably gonna put him thru the horrors so he'll cannibalize) mostly bc i wanted to give him a beak-like mask. and then his kagune is kinda like. ayato mixed w yomo if i had to give it a good comparison. wing shaped + electricity (theyre both ukakus so ig that makes him an ukaku, im just picking things based of their techniques in jjk)

for nobara, i'm leaning towards a koukaku bc its pretty dense and durable like....a hammer :D most of the users in tg have it as a blade, but urie has used it as a blade and a shield (tsukiyama too maybe? i have urie tunnel vision hence the username) anyway im not picturing it as being exactly hammer shaped but more vague. hammer inspired if you will (rlly leaning on the technique -> kagune crutch, character design is not my forte and i cannot visualize things to save my life). i also had her as either an artificial half ghoul (quinx?) or as a full ghoul waitress at anteiku

my plot needs some serious reworking, but i have yuuji and megumi as childhood besties à la hidekane, and megumi is the one who gets kanekied (sort of). secret long term pining megumi who doesnt think yuuji would be interested bc hes focused on getting a girlfriend. he doesn't have qualms abt eating ppl, but he does worry abt killing people (at least at first, there will be spiral of doom). it rlly needs to be redone overall,,,but external circumstances prompted me to push it to the side and take up another project instead

this feels super disorganized sorry omg TT_TT i think bc i decided to nuclear bomb my previous idea recently, and now i have nothing bc i never started rebuilding the plot or anything

[iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid]

FOUND FAMILY LUCY & THE GHOUL SUPREMACYYYY!!! your fic is perfect in every way… a shining beacon of light in these dark times. idk if you’re going to write a long story with them or anything but i fucking love your mind and already know i wld be eager to read whatever you might write about them <3 !!

thank you! i'm a found family bitch til the day i die, i simply cannot help it. i am technically working on a full length fic with them, but i'm not sure if/when i'll ever string it all together into something coherent lmao

but hey, here's a scene in the meantime!

-

About halfway through their journey to Las Vegas, nearly perfectly sandwiched between a week’s worth of miserable walking to the west and another week’s worth of miserable walking to the east, they stumbled upon a small town in the middle of the desert that called itself Delta. There was a sign and everything—a really old one with faded grayish lettering on faded reddish stone, all of it bearing more than a few well-worn cracks. But there was also a painted sun on it, half a shining sun rising above the town’s name like it was just peeking over to say hello, and that sun was almost still yellow.

Someone must have cared enough to maintain it, she thought, even just a little, and something about that felt important.

Lucy never bothered mentioning any of this to her companion, of course. He probably would have blown it off as nothing if she did, especially if his standoffishness ever since they entered the town was any indication.

Speaking of which.

She shifted, turning over onto her side on the twin bed she’d rented for the night—a real bed, and after so many nights of sleeping in the sand, she wasn’t even turned off by the musty smell of these sheets—and she wound her arm underneath the poorly stuffed pillow for some extra support, looking across the little motel room. He was still sitting up on his own bed, one knee bent up and his gun propped up against his thigh, and he was still looking at the door.

When she moved, though, it did get his attention. He glanced in her direction and frowned, as if to ask, What the hell are you looking at?

“You know,” she said, before he could say that out loud or tell her to go to sleep, “we’re not in the middle of the desert anymore.”

“Is that right? ‘Cause I could’ve sworn—”

“We’re not out in the open in the middle of the desert anymore,” she cut him off, rolling her eyes. “I’m just saying, we don’t really have to take turns sleeping tonight. We’ve got a door. With a lock. You could actually go to sleep, too.”

“Mm,” was all he said to that, and he returned his focus to the door.

Lucy sighed, and she rolled over onto her back, frowning at the ceiling. She really didn’t know what his issue was. This town was actually nice. Don’t get her wrong, it wasn’t like anyone had rolled out a red carpet for them and sprinkled flower petals at their feet, but no one here had shot at them, no one had tried to steal from them, no one had even said anything particularly mean to them. The woman who owned this motel—a lady named Josie who might have been fifty or might have been a very healthy ninety for all Lucy could tell—had barely even spared either of them a second glance, let alone turned him away for being a ghoul, and they were even allowed to bring Dogmeat into the room with them for an extra ten caps.

She folded her hands over her stomach and tucked her toes under Dogmeat’s side. Dogmeat didn’t seem to mind; she just let out a soft groan, stretching her legs out and settling back down with a sigh.

“Not everyone is trying to kill us,” Lucy said. “I know a lot of people are, but not everyone is.”

“Is that right.”

“Yes! Some people really do just want to help others. There are good samaritans out there. Just because you don’t see them very often doesn’t mean they don’t exist.”

“You wanna bet on that?”

“Yeah, actually. I will.”

“Go on, then. What’s your startin’ bid?”

She thought about that for a moment. She was certain that she was right about this, but technically, given that they were walking through a desert from one end to the other, they weren’t likely to run into very many people, period, so the odds weren’t exactly in her favor.

Finally, she offered, “One bottle cap.”

He actually huffed a laugh at that, and when she turned her head, she saw half an amused smile on his face. “One whole cap, huh? You better watch yourself. You go making gambles that big and you gon’ be broke as a joke before we even hit Vegas.”

She shrugged, looking back up at the ceiling. “It’s more about the bragging rights than the money anyway.”

“That so?”

“Yep.”

“Well, now, no one here in Delta counts, y’know,” he said, “seeing as we paid ‘em for the help.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s fair,” she admitted. “But even if they’re only helping us because we paid them, they are helping us. Right? That’s something. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t see any of these people breaking down the door in the middle of the night after that. I don’t even see why they would want to.”

He was quiet for a moment.

He was quiet, actually, for long enough that Lucy felt the need to look at him again. When she did, she found him exactly as he was before, looking straight ahead at the door in exactly the same way he’d been doing since they got to their room over an hour ago. Something had changed just a tiny bit, though—it was in his eyes, like he wasn’t looking at the door so much as he was looking through it. He was thumbing the safety on his gun, though not enough to switch it on, and she wondered if he was only doing it to remind himself that it was off in the first place.

Finally, quietly, he said, “People always got their reasons, Vaultie.”

Lucy blew out a raspberry through her lips and pouted, looking up at the ceiling again.

It was true, of course, that she didn’t know even half of the terrible things that people up on the surface were capable of—actually, no, that wasn’t fair. Not just people on the surface. As it turned out, she didn’t know even half of the terrible things that anyone was capable of, up here braving the radioactive wasteland or tucked safely away in a Vault or anywhere in between.

But even knowing all that, even knowing the sort of terrible things that certain circumstances could drive a person to do, she had to believe that most people still had something altruistic and selfless and good underneath.

Deep underneath, in some cases.

Very, very… very deep underneath.

“Okay,” she conceded, because there was a time and a place for debates about the nature of humanity, and this probably wasn’t it. There was also a certain type of person that it was worth having said debates with, and it almost certainly wasn’t him. She pulled her feet out from underneath Dogmeat, and she turned over, putting her back to the ghoul and his gun and the locked door. “Wake me up in six hours?”

“You know I’m gonna.”

She half-buried her face in the pillow, waiting for the exhaustion of ten-plus hours of walking to finally take her under.

She didn’t have to wait long.

[silvercrane14]

Kaguya-Sama: Love Is War - two students are in love with eachother but refuse to "lose" and admit their feelings. Instead, they have increasingly convoluted plans to get the other to confess.

Okay I will admit. this Is a romance and also ive only seen the anime. So actually this would fall more under anime recs bcs the english dub voice acting is AMAZING. Anyway tho its a comedy that I really enjoy. Its about romance but like. Idk I dont read/watch romance often so I cant say "its not like the standard romance plot". But its less about them Falling In Love and more about them Overthinking Everything And Being Silly. ALSO !! tho it takes a bit, it does go into the characters a lot. Very centred on the characters relationships !! Not just romantically between the main two, but in general.

Why I think you would like it: similar in "vibe" to nozaki-kun. Funny!! But it has its moments of seriousness and it understands its characters well.

Mushishi - Eye Have Not Read This im sorry 🙏 i havent even seen the anime so I dont actually know much about it but ive been recced it so many times I figure I should pass it to you.

If u like Natsume's Book of Friends you'll enjoy this. Genuinely I think this is my strongest rec for you on this list even tho I've never seen it. I really do think u wld enjoy 👍

Insomniacs After School - IM REALLY SORRY I HAVENT READ THIS ONE EITHER. I HAVE IT KN GOOD AUTHORITY U WOULD LIKE IT I JUST CANT GUVE ANY DETAILS. BCS IDK REALLY.

"Two young teens who can't sleep find companionship with each other. They must learn to overcome any challenges and figure out what's important to them."

Why I think you would like it: Ive heard its similar to Skip to Loafer in a way!!

Girls Last Tour - Two young girls explore a post-apocolyptic wasteland. They go through abandoned buildings and old towns in their journey, battling solitude eith only eachother

This one is a little sad. More likeeee. Meloncholy, yk? I dont have much to say about it. Very good manga.

Why I think you would like it: The character relationship between the two girls seems like something you would enjoy.

Look Back - to be super honest its been over a year since I read this I dont fully remember what happens. Theres this girl wjo draws comics for her elementary school newsletter. Shes funny so every1 really likes her and her comics. at some point another comic appears, but its actually just four panels of background art. Its so beautifully drawn that the other students begin to fawn over it. Angry kver her loss of attention, the first girl goes to meet the girl making these new comics (The background girl doesnt go to school, she works at home). Thr end up becoming friends and the story shows how their friendship develops and changes, growing closer and growing further apart.

The manga is p short for. a manga but its actually just a Really Long oneshot. Its rlly good. not much else to say.

Why I think you would like it: Very similar to Blue Period. About art and how it reflects people. Also very strongly driven by the relationship between the two girls.

The Girl From The Other Side - ive been typing so much i really cant give a whole review on this. Similar to WHA. kinda. beautiful art. read it u will enjoy it

Kaguya-sama I watched the first two seasons of! Maybe I should read the manga too, I did think it was fun

Mushishi I watched maybe the first episode of, but I should definitely try again,,, I don't remember anything about it lol

I've read Insomniacs After School!!! I'm definitely not caught up though, and I've been planning on watching the anime,,,

Girls Last Tour I,,, might have seen? At least part of it a long time ago. I'll have to rewatch/read the manga

Look Back sounds really interesting,,, I'll check that one out!!!

I'm actually reading The Girl from the Other Side in Portuguese rn lol I have volumes 1-5 on my shelf

[childeproof]

( some ) of my selfships as mlp species: a definitive list.

sources: i am autistic, i have liked mlp since i came out the womb, i have 5/6 of the main six as christmas inflatables ( i cannot find a fucking rarity one ), + lauren faust herself told me this list was swagger.

i encourage you all to do this with your selfships.

— childe & sacha ; i can only see sacha as a unicorn, but childe i can see either a changeling or kelpie ( but not rlly canon kelpie, more of a sinister style with sharp teeth and a messy / flowy main & tail ). honestly leaning towards changeling though, because ( in my opinion ) i feel like he would have a strong affinity for magic and would want to try to learn about / study / use it all the time. instead of “fight me!” it’s “let’s duel!”. and, as a magic focused changeling, i think he would use his wings a lot less, so maybe they’d be smaller in size? things 2 think about. but anyways, sacha is a unicorn born in mountréal & moves to canterlot as a famed conductor. childe is a changeling in canterlot feeding off love & doing childe stuff.

— jesse & amelia ; they are both living currently in new mexicolt ( amelia moved from the califoalnia, jesse born there ). amelia is a deer pony + unicorn bc of course she fucking is. it helped her land a lot of roles tbh. her mother is a deer ( and not the like unaware deer in the series, the actually sentient ones in the comics lol ), her dad is a pegasus. her grandma is a unicorn, her great grandma was a unicorn, so that’s why amelia is a unicorn. jesse is a pegasus & a rainbow junkie. ( /hj on the rainbow junkie bit ). i think in new mexicolt amelia wld be known as like this weird but pretty creature. jesse is like “i’ve never been with a deerpony before, haha, but we can buck, ykwim?” and amelia threatens to kick him out ( they share a cottage home ).

— carmen & jamison ; jamison is a kirin. species that literally shut themselves up for years because they were scared of their own rage? yea, that’s james. i imagine she’d be actually rlly interested in helping herself not rage. she’s silly tho & is prone to like “mini raging” due to the stress of the kitchen. she wldn’t trade it for the world, she loves cooking. sometimes a little rage is good? anyways carmen is an earth pony lol and he is built like the apples ok, he is a strong stallion. I think he & pinkie shld meet..

— george & darcy & karev ; george is an earth pony ( comes from a family of hunters / trappers but chose to be a doctor ), darcy is a batpony ( hides her wings so ponies are less scared of receiving treatment from her ), and karev is a pegasus ( has seen darcy fly once but assumed she was a pegasus too, not a batpony. became a doctor because people said he couldn’t ). they have an interesting dynamic tbh. george is the first person to warm up to darcy in the hospital ( horsespital ), darcy falls for george, karev falls for darcy— it’s very messy, and neither of the stallions know that darcy is a batpony of the night. also, i think darcy wld use slightly unusual methods & wld be pretty close to zecora tbh. darcy might even be bat zebra-pony or smth, my world my rules.

— johnny & jules ; johnny earthpony jules cyborg pegasus. already spoke abt this in a post ermm

— makoto & marcelle ; tis hard.. but i think marcelle changeling & makoto is unicorn perhapsss i dunno.. subject to change :)

— sacha & neuvillette ; sacha being a unicorn is already established, but neuvillette is also a unicorn ( he is more powerful + wields ancient unicorn magic ). unicorn4unicorn, them touching horns often together.. them being silly & doing magic together / on each other.. they go to fancy canterlot operas together & such.. cuties

— havik & izana ; izana is a super pretty heaven sent earth pony ok, she literally embodies water so ofc she’s close to the earth, earth pony. i hate how ppl think earth ponies aren’t so cool, they were nerfed but guys 😭 anyways havik is a fuckass batpony or whatever. I love him lol.

— ken & allan & keith ; ken pegasus.. we all know why. Keith also pegasus. but in more of a fluttershy way, if you can believe it ( doesn’t fly often, lives on the ground, etc ) allan earth pony who lives with keith :) in their filly days ken & keith probably had flight competitions that were always like 50/50 in terms of who’s winning but keith lives on the ground now & ken refuses to admit he misses his buddy ( & that he loves him ). barbie is an alicorn also, bc ofc she is, it’s barbie?

[whoreishghost]

i am like Not able to eat basically at all rn and this has beem ongoing for like 3-4 ish weeks now. in the first 2 weeks i cld eat a bit more but still like rlly way way too little and when i had my adhd review i was pretty surprised i had acc gained a bit of weight so i just sort of brushed off the not eating as me misremembering how much ive eaten. but now i like, am basically on a liquid only diet (and i cant drink anything thicker ? ig than like a diet coke bc that also makes me feel sick, tried having a milkshake at one point and i felt soooooo bad) bc 1 i like just dont get hungry at all, and 2 even if i feel ig the closest thing to describe wld be peckish (like im craving a specific flavour or texture) by the time i start eating it i rlly rlly do not want to be and its like, u know when ur so full its like hard to chew and u just want to spit the food out? like that. ive been trying very hard to like force myself thru this by like letting myself eat and buy whatever food i want at literally any time of day bc while it is expensive ive lost kind of a lot of weight v quickly (tw ed: this is about as much as id lose in a month whilst restricting v heavily in just under than 2 weeks). its worked to a degree but honestly im mostly just wasting food and honestly money, and whenever i do manage to eat a bit, itll be like 1 small size serving of poke (currently the only food that has been tolerated even slightly, ig maybe bc it has a "fresh" flavour? idk) eaten over the course or 5-6 hours bc i cldnt eat it faster than that which even then was not rlly tolerated bc i felt fucking disgusting physically, and then basically anything else (eg a genuinely really nice tasting stew my wife made, a mozzarella and avocado sandwich, just an avocado w salt, pasta, etc) makes me so nauseous and uncomfortable that i have to go force myself to throw up right after ive eaten to not literally be in hell for like 8-9 hours (i have an extremely low tolerance for managing nausea and the amazing ability to basically never throw up ever by myself hence the "forcing myself" which yes bad but also i refuse to be regurgitating and getting acid reflux whilst in pain for that whole day because i tried to eat smthn). i originally thought it was probably psychological bc ive been doing v v badly and to a degree it is (i cba to cook or eat rlly) but even when i have the food to eat i cant do it then either? idrk what to do, i have brought it up to drs multiple times who just tell me its poor mental health management and imply i need to ig "try harder". theres also the fact that it is v triggering for my disordered eating brain bc i am unintentionally restricting a lot and i am losing a lot of weight and its been v difficult not to just spiral down that sort of thought process into just not eating at all. feeling kind of like this is either gna randomly stop at some point and itll just be a confusing period of my life or im going to get v v unwell without support and be blamed for it

[bravernificationbeam]

It's halfway through the year! Got any favorite albums/books/tv shows/whatever to recommend?

BRIANA!!!!! this is such a fun and sweet little 'project' and i'm so flattered you included me!!! thank you so much :D

when i do recs i alwaaayyysss do it based on what i think the person asking wld enjoy BUT i'm also reading this ask as kind of just an invitation to do the *sped up guy talking and writing on a whiteboard* meme SO disclaimer for you specifically i wld actually recommend the games, movies, and (some of the) music i'm gonna talk abt. the rest of the stuff probably not but knock urself out i guess! (also some of this stuff i watched based on your recs anyway lol!)

movies:

Freaks (1932)

I did not expect this movie to be like....as empathetic and timeless as it is. this movie is a masterpiece, highly recommend--the story is great, its treatment of ability is very compelling, and the camerawork is some of the best i've ever seen PERIOD

Gold Diggers of 1933 (1933)

this movie is a lot of fun! the humor in it feels very modern and the characters are enjoyable in a way i don't really expect of movies from this era (yes, even pre-code movies like this one). also there's some jabs in here abt the depression that relate to food that are very funny retroactively ("who eats meat anymore?" and re: them stealing a bottle of cow's milk 'they already stole it from the cow')

Lisa Frankenstein (2024)

this movie is SO indulgent of the weird girl fantasy and i LOVE IT FOR THAT!!!!!! i do love a movie that says "you know that thing you cannot and SHOULD NOT have in the real world that other movies make a point of reiterating??? NOT US!!!!" yeah lisa have ur zombie boyfriend and kill everyone. go nuts

Monkey Man (2024)

this movie was just like...overall not my style but i did enjoy it! i think dev patel did a great job with it and picked a really important story to tell. also kid is a great character

Saving Face (2004)

I really liked the interconnection of plots here! I think this movie could have been EITHER abt Wil being gay or Hwei-Lan being pregnant but putting it all together makes something really special. felt like an ode to the messiness of being human and the joy of that messiness

music:

LAUGHINGFISH by Black Dresses (2024)

you know me I love black dresses! not my favorite album of theirs ever but a very chilled out record that i appreciate right abt this point in my life. i love the sounds in cat cup ALSO these sort of sighing panicky sounds accompanied w the mantra "I can't do it/I'm too scared/what if people think I'm weird" said in just this heartbreaking earnestness? LOVE. also i love the story in if you find me gone a lot

LUBE by Adam Lambert (2024)

this fucks adam good on you for branching out into being raunchy!

Slut Pop Miami by Kim Petras (2024)

this album is just so fucking funny above it all. I'm a penis genius I'M A SEMEN JESUS????? like not just hilarious things to say but also hilarious things that are kind of hard to say and subvert your expectations (i.e., the phrase "semen demon") okay kim i see you! get fucked also goes super hard

Super Over by Leah Kate (2023)

fun, exactly what it sets out to be, love super over and space

In My Room by Julia Wolf (2024)

Off With Her Tits by Allie X (2024)

oh my GOD this song is up there w/ i must increase my bust lords of acid crazy fucking robot body snowblood and plastic slayyyter for making me Feel Gender Things

Finger by Scene Queen (2024)

scene queen never stop making gay sex bops PLEASE

Flyana Boss

these two just make bops that's all i can say. shout out to yeaaa and skateboard

Kind of Stuck, Poser, and Feel My Feelings by Girli (2024)

kind of stuck is the soundtrack of me being 25 :P

KILLDOZER by Kim Dracula (2021)

HELLBOUND II by PLVTINUM (2023)

okay look. raised eyebrows @ plvtinum's whole shtick but i do find the hyperpopy sound + brooding straight man (i presume?) premise fascinating. and i do like music and media that excites me. and it sounds good!

Alter Ego by Doechii (2024)

NA NA NA NA NA NA THESE HOS AIN'T PHASING ME, PHASING ME, NA NA NA NA NA NA NA BOO BOO BITCH YOU DEAD TO ME, DEAD TO ME!!!!!

ABRACADABRA by Borgore x CupcaKke x Chase Icon (2023)

KISS THE RING by Riotgrrrldarko (2023)

THERE'S SOMETHING HERE OKAY. definitely rgd's sound TECHNICALLY could be refined a lot but i think if she keeps in on this we're going to get some really awesome music out of her

QUEEN DEGENERATE by SNOW WIFE (2023)

Hazer by Lauren Bousfield feat. Ada Rook (2023)

yes this song fucks but also i just love the "face the hurt that ya carry inside!" goofy sample in the beginning so hard

Jennifer's Body by Nxdia (2024)

i've also generally been enjoying what Ayesha Erotica, ODETARI, and 6arelyhuman are doing (together or otherwise) :)

shows:

Bravern (2024)

BRAVEEEERRRNNNNNN!!!!!!!!! this show is the absolute love of my life. this show surprised me, made me FEEL THINGS in ways that i haven't felt from a piece of media in years. it's audiacious, it loves being audacious, it just makes me fucking smile!!!!! i love u bravern!!!!!!

Sasaki and Miyano (2022-2023)

this is cute :)

games:

My Time at Sandrock

this game is fun AND oh my GOD the story is so intricately constructed? you wouldn't expect it to be but it totally is

I Was a Teenage Exocolonist

i don't have too much to say just yet bc i haven't done as many playthroughs as i'd like but like. there are some Choices re: this game's story and also like. polyamory that are. eh. but overall i've been having a lot of fun w this game and i do really appreciate the complexity the game adds into the history and dynamics of the settlers AND the gardners

as for books i'm not actually sure i've read any fiction this year LOLLLLLL i DO love theory at heart and also i read all day for work and love analyzing literature much more than reading it anyway so

[corvidiss]

some notes and additions i found on this post which i love, collated here for the sole purpose of me having them in one place, and i guess also for other interested parties

(apologies to those tagged hereafter if you wish not to have been tagged)

-

From @zarohk's reblog:

Even better: “I suppose when you write this, you’ll claim that…” cutting directly to Watson’s completely inaccurate voiceover.

-

From @alwaysanoriginal's reblog:

#film ends with Watson talking about him and his wife via narration but in reality he and Holmes settle in for a nice night by the fire #and then Watson gets up and gives a distracted Holmes a peck on the lips and walks out of the room / out of frame #last scene is Holmes’ private smile while Watson the narrator says something blasè about hoping his good friend was having a nice evening #understated yet thematically relevant note to end on to abruptly make a core thesis clear

(this is adorable i love it omg)

-

From @ll-again's reblog:

On screen: Sherlock Holmes rabidly explaining to Watson that heliocentricism is a giant cover up, aliens are real, and the Pope is definitely in on it Watson, narrating: "My surprise reached a climax, however, when I found incidentally that he was ignorant of the Copernican Theory and of the composition of the Solar System. That any civilized human being in this nineteenth century should not be aware that the earth travelled round the sun appeared to be to me such an extraordinary fact that I could hardly realize it."

-

From @e-b-reads's reblog:

#the one thing i wld add is that i think watson wld often be like #'holmes was astonishing and managed to do xyz while i stood aside like a fool' #and then actually onscreen watson wld be in the midst of the action

(YES. this.)

-

From @svperbitch's reblog:

#My dream adaptation #I love Watson the unreliable narrator who will try and make Holmes look good at any cost #Even when describing his failures it only serves to emphasise how great he usually is #And I know for a fact he downplays his own role #And more than a few crimes because fuck the police

(hell yeah hard agree)

-

From @keepthemacramesecret's reblog:

#honestly feel lile this would be the most accurate adaptation of the og stories vibes #like there rly is the indication that the True Story #lies somewhere in between watsons glamorous romantic adventure stories #and holmes clinical analysis of the pure facts #like we get little mentions from watson of holmes complaints abt how he writes the stories #and it rly would b cool to hav an adaptation that played w that contrast #where neither of them is telling the full story bc theyre prioritising different aspects

(THIS. This is FASCINATING. I never thought of Holmes' frustration with Watson's romanticisation beyond "he's grumpy watson doesn't focus on the facts" and thinking about it this way a: makes much more sense actually, and b: makes Holmes' criticism of Watson's writing less unfounded or petty. and putting it together to bring out the fact that neither of them are telling the full truth, and the real events lie somewhere between their depictions/perceptions?? incredible. I love the poetry of it)

-

From @keirgreeneyes's reblog:

If Taika & Rhys & David do Sherlock Holmes, they'd be super smart to do it this way!!! #sherlock #adaptation #comedy #but please do make it queer too #lots you could hide in the subtext #but please let them be canon queer #please

(omg taika and rhys would absolutely slay this you are so incredibly right. they'd get the comedy and queer aspects in so well i am longing for this now)

-

From @onyx-void's reblog:

#at the end it's shown it's a police interrogation going over what happened and Watson was just doing his best #not to incriminate either himself or Holmes about the Many Many Crimes they commited to solve the case

(HFHDBBFDJS YES. this is iconic and hilarious i LOVE this addition)

-

And for a couple of recommendations I intend to check out at some point:

From @madenthusiasms's reblog:

There’s a Russian Sherlock Holmes from the early 2010s on YouTube with more or less this premise. The “real” Sherlock Holmes is short, impulsive, hyperactive, and can’t box or play violin worth shit.

-

From @whether-to-screech's reblog:

The Suicide Club, or the Adventures of a Titled Person, 1981 has this exact thing and the effect is just as good as described.

Concept: Sherlock Holmes adaptation with Watson providing film noir style voiceover narration, except it’s soon apparent that Watson is a somewhat less-than-reliable narrator.

Though the tone and content of Watson’s voiceover is broadly consistent with the original stories, when compared with the accompanying on-screen events it becomes clear that Watson-the-narrator is frequently, at the very least, delicately understating how things really went down, and occasionally lying through his teeth, particularly when the on-screen “truth” would make Holmes or himself look foolish.

While neither the version of events given by the narration nor the version of events concurrently depicted on screen are particularly comedic in themselves, the combined effect of juxtaposing the two is often outright farcical.

[borom1r]

ace attorney asks!! (I'm sorry you're having a night,, I hope it doesn't stay that way ❤❤) ummm I would actually love to hear if you have any side/case-specific characters you're fond of and why!! & if you'd like smth more specific, I would love to hear abt either maya + miles bestie-isms or maybe how you think franziska & phoenix's relationship is after he and miles are officially together!!!

I feel like this is sooo obvious but Jake Marshal!! also Ron and Dessie DeLite!

idk that I have a lot of specific Thoughts abt them but they were all rlly standout characters to me

I also enjoyed Hugh and Robin, actually— Robin is so transfem to me. in my heart of hearts she’s trans 💞

there r honestly so many characters I wld love to see Come Back who like, obviously Won’t but still. Godot I am biting u soso much. this is not coherent im sorry but I would rlly truly genuinely love a prequel focusing on Mia n Diego like pleeeeeeease!!! PLEASE!!!!!!! give Mia her own game for realsies it’s what she deserves 😩

+ like OUGH. Maya Miles bestie hours.. I think, particularly early on wrt him n Phoenix reconnecting, he can be.. not more GENUINE per se, but he certainly puts less pressure on himself to try and hit some like. ideal the way he does w Phoenix. and not even necessarily consciously, but like, Maya doesn’t have this idealized childhood savior version of him propped up in her head.

and this is like, Me Projecting bc hey I can do that :3 but I’ve started trying 2 like. give myself more space to actually BE nonverbal when im overstimulated instead of forcing myself to maintain verbal communication— and I think Maya knows sign language from her childhood with Mia (Mia figuring out quickly that it was a good way for them to communicate if/when Maya went non-verbal— and Mia probably being the only person she felt comfortable signing with bc, well, she’s so bubbly and outgoing and really, she can’t POSSIBLY be non-verbal, they all know the moment she TRIES she’ll be talking their ears off!! So Maya forces herself to talk around the adults and signed with Mia).

and her recognizing overstimulation in Miles before he’s even really giving himself the space to recognize it himself— coming over to annoy him because he NEVER visits Phoenix and she gets it but she MISSES him and… stopping when she sees the way his shoulders hunch and his fingers clench around his pen and he’s staring pointedly at the papers on his desk because he’s been TRYING to focus, trying to force himself to function like a NORMAL adult (except not really; he’s aiming for Von Karma standards whether he wants to admit it or not and that’s not exactly normal). Maya gently tapping the desk to get him to look and signing, and the mixture of relief and sheer confusion when he realizes she’s providing accommodations he’d never admit to needing while also having absolutely no idea what she just said.

That first evening passes with Maya signing while speaking softly, and Miles writing his responses on a spare notepad, but slowly he learns more and more from her until he’s practically fluent too— they can spend a whole evening conversing about the chaos of the legal world and the equally chaotic reworks to Steel Samurai lore without ever saying a word out loud, and those are moments Miles always treasures

(and, when Phoenix stops him one night when he’s particularly overstimulated, clumsily signing “it’s okay, Maya’s teaching me” Miles feels so grateful to know her that he could, possibly, cry. He admits to nothing, but he does text her that she’s his favorite person in the world. She quickly responds “we both know that’s actually Nick, but ily2 ^u^” and it’s definitely one of those moments where it hits him that he Has A Family Now, For The First Time In Years)

ALSO Maya feels very much like the kind of person to say “I love you” very liberally. Especially because of how young she lost Mia + feeling like she didn’t let her sister know enough, even if her feelings are complicated. so I’m sure you can imagine the sort of (very hushed) gossip that goes around whenever people catch Maya leaving (Miles giving her a one armed hug and unable to stop himself from smiling a little even as he TRIES to glower intimidatingly at his subordinates while Maya exclaims “okay BYE Mr. Edgeworth LOVE YOU!! Good luck in court, you better come to game night!!!”)

(he does, of course, come to game night)

(Maya has definitely channeled a spirit to win at LEAST twice and they have yet to decide if it counts as cheating or not since technically it’s not looking up an answer!! but also it is kinda looking up an answer.)

+ lastly ok I’ve probs talked abt this before but I do like the idea that they maintain the sort of silly rivalry they start with but more in a “if you turn my brother into even MORE of a fool you WILL face my wrath, Phoenix Wright” “pffft yeah right, Maya will never let you live it down if you break out the whip at dinner on Saturday” “…I will exact my revenge in other, more subtle ways.”

She sends him a Top Ten Scariest Things Caught On Camera compilation at three in the morning one night (thank you different time zones, she loves being in a different time zone) and he texts back “I hate you >:(“ but they are both laughing. There’s no one he would trust to take care of Maya more than her and there’s no one she would trust to care for Miles more than him.

Also I’ve DEF talked abt it from Phoenix’s POV (texting her at night to confirm Maya’s safe when he has nightmares about her being kidnapped/in danger) but Franziska ABSOLUTELY texts him every now and then like “Miles is there?” and Phoenix knows she would never outright admit to either him or Miles how much Miles’ “death” affected her. Asking if he’s there (safe, nearby, a phone call away) is as close they’ll get — Phoenix always responds as soon as he can (“yep, we’re making dinner!” or “he’s at his office, I’ll see him in forty minutes for lunch” or “he and Maya have a coffee date, you can double check with her but I wouldn’t wanna interrupt their Steel Samurai gossip session”)

She doesn’t always respond, but Phoenix gets it, and he’s always happy to let her know— he’s okay just getting a one-word (or sometimes one letter, if it’s super late for her) response about Maya, but he knows she needs more detail to put her mind at ease (Evidence is key, after all; you can’t build a perfect case without all the information) and he’s happy to provide

They definitely all have dinner together once a week (either just the four of them out at a restaurant, or their entire “family” at one of their houses— Miles and Phoenix, Trucy, Maya and Franziska, Klavier and Apollo, Pearl, Kay, Emma, Athena and Juniper, Simon if he’s feeling up to group interactions, Gumshoe and Maggie if they’re in town, even Larry sometimes). It gets hectic and usually they only get EVERYONE together for holidays, but all of them spent so long with nothing, losing everyone they loved, that having such an ABUNDANCE of connection really is something for them to revel in.

[cicadaclan]

well now that more people are here, it seems like a perfect time to say that ive been rereading the prophecy begins,

ive banned myself from clangen while focusing on comm work, but atm im at work and can't do either of those things, so ive been revisiting some old stuff i was into when i was younger, warriors included,

forethought; im not a critic and wld never claim to be. im not very good at being a hater as i am finding some kind of enjoyment in something, tbqh,

But ... that being said, i think it shld surprise no one that the writing isn't always the best. the cuts cld be a lot clearer, it's a lot more show over tell, even if u don't already know later elements of the story,

but the potential was there. i kind of wish the erins put more interest into how tigerclaw and lionheart mentored firepaw for the time that they did. their mentoring styles differ vastly from each other, while sharing a few similarities, stressing upon importance of loyalty to your clan. if you put aside the Obviously Evil Tigerclaw, it wld have shed more light on how firepaw's mentality already differed from the clan cats,

that being said, i do wish they also toned down the Obvious Evil vis a vis his attitude w ravenpaw. it cld have been better done by illustrating that they just... rly were not compatible w each other as mentor and apprentice. so many different word choices i wldve gone w personally, i can already feel it.

but like i was saying w firepaw's mentality about the clans, it wld have been more interesting character-wise to have his conversation about the other clans and his sympathy towards them and cooperating w them by having it done w lionheart over tigerclaw. like he already demonstrates that he doesn't approve very much of getting along w the other clans in the long run. even the good-hearted cats have off or weird opinions of the other clans (like graypaw *coughs at his judgemental stereotypes,*)

im still reading thru it and already a couple of chapters in. doesn't bode well abt how heavy handed it is w tigerclaws whole thing, but im also just enjoying myself, taking it easy. the boys are silly, firepaw made a cat limp on his first day, he's had a lot happen already,

[writingsofwesteros]

Why is all the sons my favorite?!!! Please can we have a conversation between Aemma and Yn abt childbirth where yn promises Aemma that her sons wld forever be loyal to Rhaenyra cause that's the right thing to do. And a convo between brothers where Viserys banishes Daemon from court after Aemma death cause he jealous. (Show established Daemon meant no cruel remarks)

AN: Hi, I hope you like it x

ALL THE SONS 

Requests are closed

“My Queen.” You deeply curtsied as the door fell shut behind you. Aemma had her ladies in waiting leave the room. Your eyes watched them as your hand rested on your matching pregnant stomach. “Lady Y/N.” The Queen politely smiled and moved to stand in slow movements.

“I’m glad you came.” Aemma softly spoke and you bite your tongue; it wasn’t as if you could ignore a royal order. “Come with me.” She spoke and you moved to follow as the Queen guided you to the chairs at her window. You smiled when she motioned to the seats whilst you wondered what this was all about.

“Thank you.” You whispered and settled yourself as comfortably as possible whilst resting your hand on the glass table. The silence moved over you both and you couldn’t help but become more worried. “Is everything fine?” You couldn’t help but ask and you hoped your tone didn’t give you away.

“Oh, of course.” Aemma moved to take your hand now. Her fingers moved over your rings for a moment. You were still confused and your face must have shown it as the Queen in front of you softly sighed. “I would like to talk to you about Rhaenyra.” Aemma finally spoke about the reason for the meeting.

“Rhaenyra?” You asked in complete confusion; your hand moving over your stomach once more as you wondered if she was safe and well. “Is she fine?” You babbled out; the worry you held for the little Princess only grew. “Yes, she’s well.” The Queen smiled gently at the mention of her daughter.

“I’m glad.” You whispered to her with a bright, true smile as the Queen seemingly relaxed back into her chair. “I want to speak about when she’s Queen.” Aemma whispered as if it was treason and you cocked your head to the side. “I know she will have many enemies. Her being a woman will not help the situation.” The Queen continued.

“You might have a son.” You offered her some comfort, you hoped anyway. Aemma only smiled sadly, as if she knew something you didn’t. “I wanted to ask you something..for you to promise me.” She began once more. “When the King dies..I need you to have your sons swear their loyalty to her. Forever.” 

You were still so completely confused. “I don’t want the throne..neither does Daemon.” You whispered to her. You wondered if that was why she was asking you this. Was she worried you wanted to use your sons to gain the throne? “I know..I know…even if my husband doesn’t.” Aemma was quickly growing tired now.

“Please just promise me.” The Queen seemed to be begging you now as she took your hand in a tighter hold than usual. Your frown of confusion could only deepen. “Of course. I promise you.” You finally whispered out and you could see a weight being lifted from her. “I promise.” You repeated with a softer smile.

Aemma matched your smile and all was quiet again as she softly stroked your hand before removing herself from you. She lent back against the chair as your eyes moved towards the sunset coming down. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” The Queen whispered and all you could do was stare and wonder.

A MONTH LATER and the Queen was dead. You thought about that last conversation with her a lot as time moved on. You kept your boys closer to you and Daemon was never far away either. Until the King had ordered him into the throne room. Alone. And now all you could do was sit and worry.

“Brother..” Viserys called when Daemon finally moved into the room and slowly made his way to the throne. “Brother.” The prince bowed to his King and hid the confused feelings he had. He wasn’t sure why he had been summoned but he wouldn’t let that show. He watched Viserys play with his rings.

“Was there something you wanted?” Daemon asked and noticed the guards in front twitching when he stepped closer. He decided on standing still now with his hands clasped behind his back. Your words moved through his mind about feeling unsafe and he hated to have to agree with you about it now.

Daemon watched his brother slowly stand and wondered how he hadn’t noticed how weak Viserys had become. Well, he knew why. He was kept busy with his desires for you and the many sons running around him. Those thoughts nearly brought a soft smile to his face before he placed his mask on. “We have been talking.” Viserys began and Daemon wondered who was the we. It was probably the cunt of a hand his brother had. “Yes?” The Prince raised an eyebrow as he helped his brother along. “We…I think it’s best if you left the court. If you left the capital.” The King began to explain.

The silence easily filled the throne room and Daemon noticed the guards twitching once more. Those violet eyes of his followed their movements before returning to his brother. “This is what you truly want?” He had to ask. “Of course. I don’t want to see your sons in my court.” The King snarled out.

Daemon’s jaw tightened whilst his eyes darkened in anger now. The two brothers stared across from each other with each passing moment. The room grew with tension as everything shifted. All Daemon saw was the enemy and he knew when to pick his battles. Unfortunately, this wasn’t one of them. 

“My King.” He bowed with his eyes never leaving Viserys. He noticed his brother’s eyes softening for a moment and wondered if one day his brother wouldn’t be led by his heart. The bonds of brothers ran deep but they weren’t endless as now Daemon witnessed as he turned around.

His shoes echoed on the stone floor as his eyes stared ahead. To the future. To his family. His real family, Daemon thought to himself. His mind is already racing with thoughts and plans to remove you and his sons from his godforsaken place. Daemon wouldn’t have you stay here another moment.

Not with these vipers waiting to strike. But he would be back. Daemon had been exiled before; it was his near speciality. But it would never be the same again, unfortunately for Viserys as he lost a true ally. It would take years for Viserys to realise that and in the end; it might not even matter.

TAGLIST

@janelongxox

@writerslove2403

@severewobblerlightdragon 

@lettherebrelight 

@heartysworld

@opheliax98

@bshelley322 

@casualheartadorable 

@kittycatcait219 @lilyviolets

@multifndom @7minutes-tomidnight

@savage-aespa 

@kid-from-new-zealand @mypatrochilles

@thekayarlene 

@sandronebabyy 

@ivanna6026 

@bubblebuttwade

@rosesinmars

@believeinthefireflies95

[oshaaofficial]

ok hold on here we go. nadja and laszlo found freedom with vampirism-- to have power and to escape caste systems and the like-- but nandor had the power and love and status and wealth, as a human. if anything vampirism robbed him of the privileges he had as a man. all of those things are only theoretically fulfilling anyway. it’s probably easy to feel unchangeable when you’re immortal; its almost like being preserved. nandor views vampirism as a curse and that manifests as his desire to be human again. bcos i think to him, the antithesis of eternal undeath is the mutability of humanity. but what he really wants is freedom, something he hasn't afforded himself in the past, bc probably he doesn't know how. i have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of nandors angst comes from the fact that his aspirations of power, control, and conquest, the willingness to kill and kill and kill and hunger for more, always more-- those things were befitting of nandor the soldier, nandor the leader, the conqueror, nandor the viceroy, nandor the relentless. i think he’s really tired of being hungry. and that i can understand. like what about nandor the horse girl???? nandor the roommate, nandor the more merciful council leader actually, nandor the ‘i want to do something special for the immortal ones arrival im going to sprinkle [glitter] on my face and on my body like twilight,’ nandor the loved?? can he be loved? (yes) he would like to think so (he is). and what about giving? nandor knows plenty about wanting, yes plenty about wanting. and getting. but he hasn’t had much practice with giving, or loving. there’s someone who reminds him of fresh fruit and burning sand and the sun and praying. not that nandor has any concrete memories of those things. but its been so long since desire (real desire) was anything but painful. and he’s selfish, something he’d be hard pressed to admit even at stake point. really, he knows he’s selfish, and he wants his sun forever (forever...). blood will never taste like fresh fruit; it can be red all the same. but guillermo is also so good. he’s better, better than nandor could have ever been, so alive and warm and for some reason nandor got to have him all to himself for so long. he believes that turning guillermo would rob him of everything nandor loves about him (and he loves). to want guillermo is to damn him for eternity (and nandor is unconsciously used to being deprived). he had to be a certain type of human man, but he can be anyone now. the freedom nadja and laszlo found in vampirism was only possible in part bcos of why they were turned, in love, devoted, trusting. something something life force something something vampires live on other ppls borrowed time something something monster tropes and queerness something something nandor wont acknowledge it's actually an interpersonal issue bcos blaming it on something he can no longer control is, like, the only way he knows how to deal w his emotions. nandor thinks taking guillermo’s literal humanity wld fundamentally change him forever (forever...), the same way nandor thinks it changed him. immutable; unlovable. eventually. he knows a lot about wanting. well, he thinks he does. like he tries to find the happiness he wants in relationships the same way nadja fought tooth and nail for respect and power and control.* now she has a position on The vampiric council, but i have a feeling she might hate it a little. bcos power and respect aren't the same. but nandor is wrong ab vampirism, and it wouldn’t be guillermo’s teen fantasy either. vampire is just a state of being, like human, they still need the bonds and emotional intimacy that people crave. and just. sigh. what happens when someone whose life was defined by violence just wants to love and be loved instead?

[wildcherryfunk]

arrives doing a narsty little darnce on the dash like so. greetings, loved ones. i’m nai (25) n i luv stained glass windows, cackling like a witch n staring into alex wolff’s mole like i’m a fortune teller n it’s my mystical little crystal ball. i go by she/her pn’s n i’m of the “OI, mistah, u me dad?!” british variety (said grimly pulling a face like it’s a slur). u can find out more abt lana below but if u would rather be nourished on vibes alone u can browse her pinterest here or listen to her pl here ⚡🎸🧚‍♀️

◜          *          :          kristine     froseth     .     cis     woman     &     she     /     her     .     tears     in     the     club          by     fka     twigs     &     the     weeknd     .          ━━          the     legend     surrounding     london’s     l’academiae     furorum     would     not     be     complete     without     LANA     JAMESON     .     the     academy's     TWENTY     FOUR     year     old     SECOND     SOLOIST     has     been     with     furore     for     TWO     YEARS     ,     oft     described     as     VIVACIOUS     ,     IMPETUOUS     ,     CHILDISH     &     FORGIVING     &     has     proved     utterly     indispensable     to     the     company     .     in     passing     ,     they’ve     come     to     be     associated     with     A     CHERRY     SCENTED     CANDLE     SCULPTED     LIKE     A     HUMAN     HEART     ,     VALVES     AND     ALL     ,     WITH     EVERY     STICKY     ARTERY     MELTING     CAVITY     -     SWEET     WAX          &          flirting     with     a     strawberry     red     scald     under     boiling      shower     water     ,     doodling     wonky     cocks     in     condensation     ,     fantasising     elaborately     sordid     affairs     for     aquarium     seahorses     ,     absentmindedly     playing     a     drum     solo     on     your     own     ass    in     the     queue     for     the     morning     after     pill     &     chasing     last     rays     of     sunlight     like     a     cat     with     a     laser     pointer     .     whether     this     will     be     their     final     curtain     call     is     anyone's     guess          &          the     company’s     worst     nightmare     .

HISTORY:

lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. i picture it w dark oak floors n lots of light furniture. albums framed on walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. a house as big as the love it was missing. 

lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his wealthy best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a psychedelic rock band w an electric stage presence, n vic ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive n honestly it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him.

(DRUGS TW) anyway so jameson records repped a few rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare

lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. real characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast n it was just. a very strange environment fr a child to grow up in. more zoo than home. more shaken snow globe than resting place. (END OF TW)

(ABORTION REFERENCE) her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana ws a kid n she asked her why she never played w her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door (END OF REFERENCE)

(DISSOCIATION TW) bc of the intensity of her parents ignoring her growing up lana adopted this sense of like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost bc she gt this strange outside feeling. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w no-one acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family. (END OF TW) her imagination festered an explanation out of smthn she didn’t understand essentially. lana used her imagination to do this a lot growing up. it ws kind of like the band aid she slapped over everything. after all she wasn’t alone if she was sword fighting imaginary pirates dwn the hallway with a poker from the fireplace.

the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. he’s the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her n cut the crusts off her sandwiches (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door bt was always over bc he had very strict parents tht he found suffocating)

(ARMY MENTION) SO when tommy announced tht he’d signed up to the army (bc of pressures from tommy’s military dad to fulfil some kind of stupid “legacy” tommy didn’t even care abt) n caleb said he was going with him lana ws understandably…….. completely blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving n was kind of like “wtf why are u doing this like what do u even think this is gna solve” etc n begged caleb not to leave her there on her own n jst to not sign up in general bc tommy had to bt he didn’t listen

ERM i won’t go into it but it didn’t turn out well as u can probably imagine bc the army is a terrible industry n caleb had to return home without tommy. he wasn’t the same after that. (END OF MENTION)

what’d been a rly close relationship before where he ws basically like a surrogate father figure to lana was Not there any more. he ws rly withdrawn n always pushing her away n snapping at her for the sake of getting her to leave him alone. on top of this lana had a lot of shit go down while he was away n rly just shouldn’t have been a kid alone in tht house. regardless lana thought if she kept grinning as wide as she cld she’d convince caleb to join in too. maybe if she seemed fine n happy he’d take the lead. maybe she’d believe it too n start to feel it n everything could go bk to how it was before her world became so different. lana liked the way the sky flipped when she tipped her head back on the swings bt this was different. everything was upside down bt this didn’t make her belly feel like she’d swallowed a butterfly and it wasn’t funny bt still, she kept laughing. always desperate to find something to laugh at n if she couldn’t find it she invented it. as long as ur laughing the world can’t b that bad.

she ws always well liked in school bc she jst tended to treat everyone like they were bffs no matter who like u cld have literally bumped shoulders w her once in the corridor n she’d be like OMG HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII let’s kiss<3 n like she ws a huge notorious flirt w any n all as well as incredibly impulsive n jst. wild honestly to put it simply too bt things like. changed a bit frm 16 onwards. (HYPERSEXUALITY & IMPLIED TRAUMA TW) she jst became far more reckless honestly n like……. jst didn’t rly seem to care after a certain point abt herself too much…. got herself in a bunch of bad situations………. kind of jst flung herself to the wolves numerous times without any caution abt the way they’d bite. formed a lot of self destructive habits one of which ws cruising craigslist personals fr random hook-ups n like. she literally cld have wound up in a ditch somewhere honestly it’s a shock she hasn’t. despite various dips n inclines in her journey navigating this side of her it’s very much still present in her life to this day n she struggles to kno hw to control herself at points. sometimes she’s only sure she’s real when she’s being touched. (END OF TW)

ANYWAY. went to college to study dance bc she’s done it since being a bebe (ballet specifically bt likes all forms rly) n had a TIME there. jst a whole string of catastrophic romantic entanglements etc................. lana cld literally find something endearing abt the glint of a wolf’s teeth as it extended it’s jaw to swallow her whole like she jst. sees good in everyone even when it isn’t there n it gets her in a whole bunch fo situations. on the opposite side of that sometimes she doesn’t see any good at all bt it doesn’t feel like good’s for her anyway. truly a rollercoaster n she ended up dropping out before finishing her degree bc a lot of a shitty ex’s friends were still at the same school n it was Too Much

her brother had been doing a little better coping w things bt even so she was scared to accept the place at l’academiae furorum bt when he found out he told her to go n that he’d be fine to look after himself n that she deserved it so. ✈️ haaaaaiiiiii landan

(IMPLIED ALCOHOLISM TW) i won’t lie to u lana hs always partied way too hard bt then partying way too hard turned into slurping merlot thru a crazy straw shaped like a flamingo at 4 in the afternoon wearing penis novelty sunglasses n it wasn’t quite so much of a party when u were doing it on ur own. this rly snowballed into place in college n is an ongoing rollercoaster. she jst..... never wants the party to end. always the last one there. it ebbs n flows tho bt definitely is something that’ll be her unravelling if she isn’t careful abt it. has a very addictive personality. slowly it’s starting to bleed into her dancing n i feel like the other dancers r surely starting to notice a few of her threads begin to fray whether that’s thru faint remnants of last night’s red lipstick or flecks of glitter frm the club still glinting on her collar bones or the sticky sweet scent of 2pm laughter that u can almost swear smells like wine (END OF TW)

PERSONALITY:

always smells vaguely of wild cherries or strawberry starburst or jst the candy aisle in general. if she ws a vinyl record she’d b this one n she’d only play good vibrations by the beach boys, dancing on my own by robyn, play that funky music by wild cherry, femme fatale by the velvet underground n (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones

the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed a bit of an instagram following #nepotism bt also fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects. lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, bright red cowboy boots, lace dresses w nips peeking, holographic stickers of planets on her cheek n glitter used like highlight, 90% of the time a red lip) n bc she’s not gna make ur eyes bleed to look at or anything let’s b real

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once.

deliberately puts on tht kind of Magnetic Alluring Act tht femme fatales wear in movies w most ppl. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as. hates being sad n always wnts to be happy / making ppl happy. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out. sometimes gets glimpses n feels the urge to close her eyes.

she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand ridiculously absurd n chaotic stories. she’s like oh ya this one time this guy made me ride him with a daddy saddle like i was woody and he was bullseye. he literally made me call him bullseye. or she’s like. oh ya once i had to run barefoot thru a cabbage patch bc this one farmer wanted to have a threeway w me n my friend tht we met off craigslist n every framed photo in his house was a pig dressed up in cosplay bt honestly they were kind of cute n he was sexy aside frm the murderous vibes n the fact he kept calling me babe which i’m pretty sure means he wanted to dress me up next bt like whatever honestly…. she tells jst the most batshit stuff n the person she’s telling it to is left blinking like. wtf.

uncontrollably flirty. insanely confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n will try. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n LOVES to grin over literally ANYTHING it’s wild like what’s even so funny? idk bt she’s having a blast

likes to roller skate n hs a red pair she’ll glide around in at night lit up by amber street lamps breath sticky w the taste of wine n lollipops probably heading to a random hookups. who needs ubers?