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obxsummer · 2 days ago

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chaotic // ghost of you

pairing: jj maybank x routledge!reader

summary: a quick glimpse down memory lane before the group heads to charleston where you and john b are placed on cemetery duty. good thing a sibling intervention was needed and john b's hit with the heavy realization that you'd been left with more than superficial scars from the camerons.

warnings: ptsd, non-consensual drug use, angst, rafe cameron, typical obx violence, ward cameron being a dickhead, almost kidnapping?

a/n: good luck, godspeed, & listen to chaotic by tate mcrae

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ask me anything

“Would you do this to your sister?”

Rafe stared at you, horrified, as you hummed on the bed from the effects of the heavy indica based oil he’d put in your drink. You were practically on a cloud, and he was surprised you even had the energy to speak. You’d never asked him anything, just begged him to stop and let go, but never this.

“What?”

You forced yourself up to a sitting position, practically fluttering at the pain relief he’d given you. Rafe spent more time in this room with you, just talking and yelling and taking his anger out on you because you were there. You usually didn’t bother to comment back, just taking whatever he’d give because you’d given up on the idea of life getting any better.

“Would you put Sarah through this?” You repeated, eyes blinking quickly at him.

Rafe bent down to snort the line of white powder he’d organized on your calf; any other surface in the room and his dad would notice (or that’s what he told himself). “The fuck are you talking about?”

“I mean, John B would never do this to your sister, so why the hell are you doing it to his?”

The question caught Rafe off guard more than he expected. His dad had practically ruined his relationships with everyone he’d come to know. Except you, Ward had broken you into the perfect little companion for Rafe. There was no running away, nobody to come save you. So, in his own little twisted way, he really liked having you around. You were his.

“I don’t have to answer you,” Rafe replied weakly, knowing damn well he would’ve never allowed anything like that to happen to Sarah. Not…no? Maybe. He didn’t know anymore and his brain wasn’t working correctly now with the drugs in his system.

You sighed, “Okay.” Flopping back on the bedding, you stared at the ceiling. Your heartbeat was in your ears and it felt like time was passing so slowly.

“Would you ever forgive John B if he did that?”

You shook your head and gave him a thumbs down. “John B would never do that. And if he did, I’d never speak to him again.”

The statement hurt. As much as Rafe tried to convince himself that you were wrong, it hurt. He wanted to be good, to be worthy of someone’s love and attention. He’d tried his whole life to but he kept fucking up. That’s why he was leaning on you. You were fixing that hole in his chest whether you knew it or not.

“Would you ever talk to me again?” Rafe stared at the bland walls as he spoke.

A moment of silence filled the room before he turned to see if you were still awake. Your eyes remained unblinking, the rise and fall of your chest in a steady motion the only sign that you were still alive.

“You’re really scaring me,” You answered honestly. Your mind was silent, the only thing running through it was Rafe’s question, so you had no reason to lie to him. “You’re hurting me. You’re really hurting me and I don’t understand why.”

Rafe turned away when you started crying, your form shivering in an adrenaline drop as you rolled onto your side away from him. He sat silently until your breathing evened out, eyes closing as you fell into an induced slumber before he turned the lights off and left the room, locking the door as he did.

John B was worried.

Let’s be clear, as the eldest of the group, John B worried often, but when it came to you, he always was.

Everything was off since you and Kie had returned from the shop and it was practically a red flag waving in front of his face. Neither of you said anything but it was obvious from the timing of everything paired with tear tracks on your faces that something happened. He just had to wait it out for more details.

Revealing everything to Kie had brought up a lot of buried feelings and although you wanted nothing more than to hide away, you didn’t want to risk staying home by yourself. You were quiet the entire ferry ride, claiming you were tired and needed a nap so nobody would question your lack of energy. That didn’t mean you missed out on the conversations around you, eavesdropping your way into John B’s awkward insinuation of moving into the next step with Sarah.

The topic pulled tears to your eyes as you thought about the idea with JJ. Would you guys stay in Kildare? Would you move somewhere, or stay here and carry out a different kind of life that neither of you had experienced?

“So based on the captain’s log, Blackbeard’s in his ship, the Adventure, somewhere out there, and they’re being pursued by the British Royal Navy, right? So, he comes to shore, takes a bunch of hostages. They called it the, um, the-“

“Oh, the uh, the Blockade of Charleston. That was eighth-grade history.” John B interrupted Pope’s story with such confidence it almost brought you out of your shitty mood.

You walked slowly behind them, head covered by one of John B’s old Kildare High hoodies, the sweater paws keeping you warm. Kie was a few steps ahead of you, walking next to Sarah. Every now and then she would spare a glance back to make sure you were still there. Cleo walked ahead of everyone else, knife twirling between her fingers with murder on her mind. She would get her revenge on Terrance’s behalf.

Your attention drifted from John B and Pope’s conversation to your phone where your messages to JJ had gone unanswered. You knew he could hold his own, but you hated the thought of leaving him in search of his dad, not that he would’ve let you go anyway.

“Come on, Birdie.” John B had slowed his pace to walk along your side, his hand grabbing yours so you’d drop your head on his shoulder. “Wanna talk?”

You shook your head slightly but squeezed his hand in appreciation that he was here. Pope was busy solving the riddle left by the amulet that had brought you here.

“Wait, I have a question. So, if we’re talking about caskets, that doesn’t mean we’re going to another cemetery, right?”

You laughed softly at John B’s question, leaning further into his side as the six of you continued walking down the cobblestone street. The walk continued much longer than you would’ve liked, your mind and body ready to lay down for a little and reset.

“You know what’s been bothering me?” Pope asked after the sun had set and you’d walked a good 5 miles. “Blackbeard has a treasure he desperately wants to keep. He’s being pursued by the British Royal Navy. They’re blockading the entire city. Yet he finds time to make coffins to bury his cook and navigator?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, time out. Time out, time out. Dude, he definitely put something in those coffins.”

“Are you dumb.” You let go of John B’s hand to stop in front of him, giving him a blank look. He looked offended as you walked away from him, shaking your head as you did. It was quite obvious that you were looking for treasure hidden in the coffins.

“Half Moon, Half Moon Battery, where the living and the dead collide, which I figure is a cemetery, which means all we have to do is figure out where-“

“The North Star is?” Sarah finished Pope’s thought as she raised her hand to point to a stained-glass window of the church on the corner. You shrugged at her find, figuring it made sense to at least give it a shot.

John B wrapped an arm around his girlfriend. “Sarah Cameron, have I told you I love you lately?”

Pope stared at the colored object for a few more seconds before turning to address all of you. “Here’s the plan, alright? I’m gonna need you and you for diversions. You’re coming with me, I need to check something in the church. And you two are on cemetery duty.”

That put Sarah and Cleo on distractions, Kiara going with Pope, and you were left with John B for cemetery duty.

“Wait, what?” You asked as you looked around the darkness surrounding you and your brother seemed to be on the same page. “Don’t leave us out here!”

“Look for the gatekeeper in the cemetery,” Pope explained as the remainder of the group started walking toward the entrance. “Be so safe!”

You rolled your eyes at the ongoing joke, turning to face John B. “We just got benched.”

“Yep, where the living and dead collide, the Routledges will provide. Awesome,” He grumbled and walked around the gate to enter the graveyard area. “It’s not real, they’re dead. It’s gonna be fine, we’ll be fine.”

You sighed and let him rant away to himself as you found a spot on the stairs to claim for the upcoming time. Pulling John B’s hoodie sleeves further over your hands, you shivered with the cool night breeze.

“So, are you gonna tell me what the hell is going on or am I going to have to drag it out of someone else?” John B took a seat next to you and cracked his knuckles like it would make him any tougher.

As much as you loved Kie, you knew she wasn’t good at keeping secrets, and you wanted to talk to John B before she went running. Your teeth pulled at the chapped skin of your lips before you answered, “I heard you on the ferry, talking to Sarah about starting a family.”

He seemed confused for a moment before his cheeks burned red. “Oh, that’s awkward. Um, that… that should’ve been a more private conversation and-”

“Would you hate Sarah if she didn’t have kids?”

The question wasn’t one John B anticipated. Out of all the things you guys had talked about before, raising a family wasn’t one discussed. With your own family relationship being rocky, John B never knew where you stood on the idea and if you’d ever want that for yourself (and JJ, but he tried not to think about that).

“No, n-no. I would be sad, of course, but I wouldn’t hate her. She totally dodged the idea, though so you don’t have to worry about-”

“Would you leave her?”

John B frowned and blinked at you, but you still weren’t looking at him. He wasn’t used to you asking about his relationship in this kind of way. “Why are you asking this?”

You pushed a shaky breath from your lips and let your head drop to your knees. God, you wished JJ was here. He deserved to hear this from you first, but he wasn’t, and you didn’t know when he would be.

“John B, I can’t have kids.” You turned to watch his expression as he processed your words. Your eyes were warm with tears while a million emotions crossed his face.

“What?” John B didn’t know what else to say. You guys were barely adults, and this topic shouldn’t even be a thought in your mind with the current living conditions and lack of funding you all had. But you were his little sister, and his heart was breaking as you spoke. “Can’t or won’t?”

Tugging on the sleeves of the hoodie again, you looked down. “Can’t. Physically unable. Never going to happen.”

John B paused at the coldness in your voice. You were obviously upset but he still wasn’t sure where all of this was coming from. Plus, let’s be real. John B was a teenage boy at the end of the day; female anatomy was not his strong suit in any way. “Oh, okay. Um, is there like a problem or-”

“Rafe caused it.”

The Cameron house was cold. Sunlight filled the room, casting some warmth across the hardwood floor but you made no effort to enjoy it. Rose had just dropped a salad off at the door and told you that DCS would be visiting today, to get your shit together and not to mess anything up or Ward would go after your friends. You didn’t know whether to believe him or not, but you had nothing left to go off of. You hadn’t seen your friends in weeks, and you didn’t know if they even bothered to look for you.

DCS had yet to make any checkups on you and your brother since your dad disappeared, minus the one that John B narrowly avoided by jumping from the car when you thankfully weren’t home. You figured Ward had paid them off for so long, but now that John B was lost to sea, they were likely to get suspicious.

Which meant they were coming to talk to you. Alone.

Perfect.

Forcing your tired and bruised body to your feet, you made your way into the attached bathroom to soak under the hot water and formulate a plan. If DCS did opt to talk to you, there had to be a way to get a silent SOS across. You didn’t know how, but you would come up with something, even if Rafe and Ward followed your every move.

After soaking up most of the hot water, you finished getting ready for the day, pulling on a pair of shorts and one of John B’s t-shirts that had gotten mixed in your laundry. It would only be a matter of time before they’d come knocking at the door to collect you for show and tell.

Your eyes moved over everything in the room with hope something would pop up with an answer for all of your problems. And then you remembered the remaining food tray in the room. Ward or whoever dropped food to you typically left plastic wear to prevent you from using the typicaly cutlery as a resource, but that wasn’t the case today. Your eyes caught the metal knife that was intended to cut the meal, but you hadn’t touched it.

You grabbed the piece in your hand and moved slowly to to the door, running over JJ’s instructions in your head on how to possibly pop the lock using the tool. Pushing it between the door and the wall, you felt around for the horizontal lock, struggling to move it over. And then there was a pop, and your heart started racing.

Pressing your ear against the door, you listened for footsteps and voices, anything that would give you a warning of someone being nearby. When you didn’t hear anything, your fingers gently twisted the doorknob as far as it would go. A soft click told you it was yours to open as you pleased, so you did so, slowly.

The hallway was dim minus the sunlight leaking in from other rooms and your eyes caught sight of the large grandfather clock to your side. The ticking of the hands echoed down the silent hallway and you stood frozen for a moment before taking your first steps out.

And nothing.

No yelling, no alarms, no impromptu body tackles to the floor. You could make this. You could make a run for it and they would be none the wiser until DCS was here.

Walking slowly down the hallway, you came to the foyer area where you could hear whispers from the kitchen filtering through. Moving into Sarah’s room, you glanced around for something, anything, that would help you get out of here without any suspicion.

“Go get her. They’ll be here soon and I need to make sure she’s not going to run her mouth.”

“Dad, she’s going to-”

“Now, Rafe.”

You held your breath as Rafe mumbled an agreement and the sound of his footsteps echoed through the open room as he ascended the stairs. You needed to move, and move fast. Rafe cursed down the hall, likely figuring out that the door was unlocked and you clutched the butter knife tighter in your hand like it would offer any protection.

Ducking into Sarah’s walk-in closet, you scrambled to find an old phone or even her laptop if she’d left it behind but came up empty. “Shit,” You whispered to yourself and bent down to pull on a pair of her gym shoes since yours had been destroyed from years of wear. If nothing else, you needed to prepare to run.

Grabbing a black hoodie from her shelves, you slipped it on over your t-shirt and pulled the hood up to keep your face hidden as much as possible. You would only have one shot at this, and you needed to make it count.

Moving slowly toward Sarah’s bedroom door, you waited to see if you could hear Rafe’s presence down the hall but silence followed. The doorbell rang, Ward yelling out for his son in hopes that he would bring you down but Rafe didn’t answer.

“Hi, I’m Rebecca Sinclair with DCS. I’m presuming you’re Mr. Cameron.”

Risking the step into the open, you walked out of Sarah’s room and kept your body pressed against the wall so you would be out of view for Ward and the DCS rep but could see their conversation.

“That would be me. Come in, can I get you something to drink?”

Rebecca shook her head. “This should be fairly quick. Where is Miss Routledge? I have to do an individual check in with her and then one with you as the legal guardian.”

“Let me go see where she’s at. She’s been having a really hard time with the loss of her brother and my daughter. They were such good friends, and-”

“Miss Routledge, please, Mr. Cameron.”

The DCS rep clearly wasn’t putting up with Ward. You took the chance to step forward into view, your mouth opening to yell out before someone’s hand clamped over your face and an arm yanked you back from view. You screamed against the action, the sound echoing throughout the hall.

“Apologies, she’s been crying all day. I’ll go grab her.”

Body thrashing, you attempted to pull out of Rafe’s grasp but he doubled down on his grip, even when you attempted to bite his hand.

“Shut the fuck up or I’ll kill you!” He hissed in your ear as he dragged you down the hallway back into the room you’d seen for days upon days. Rafe tried to close the door as quietly as possible while still corralling you in his arms.

He slammed you against the bed covers, knee driving into your stomach as he kept his hand over your mouth. You cried out at the force, tears springing to your eyes at the pain that followed. You tried to push against his chest so he would get off, his other hand tightening around your throat causing the air to stop its way into your lungs.

You choked, eyes going wide as you stared back at him in hopes that he would find some sort of empathy and forgiveness, but cold eyes met yours.

“I told you to shut the fuck up, you useless Pogue. I should kill you for-”

“Rafe.” Ward’s voice was demanding enough that his son stopped speaking but continued to glare at you. “Move your hand.”

Rafe complied, taking his hand from your throat but keeping the one on your mouth. You continued to push at him until he dropped more of his weight into the knee on your stomach and you cried again.

Ward’s face came into view, his sickly fake smile on his face as he held a small syringe into your view. “You could’ve just listened, you know? And we wouldn’t have to go to these lengths.”

He wasn’t gentle as he pushed the needle into your skin, subjecting you to whatever sedative he’d claimed good enough to handle your outburst.

Your body went quiet within seconds, muscles relaxing and a numbness spreading from limb to limb. Your imaginary fight with Rafe ended and tears fell from your eyes at the helpless feeling. After a moment, Rafe moved his hand and shifted off of you as Ward tossed a spare blanket over your form.

“Go to your room, I’ll handle this.”

You could tell Rafe wanted to disagree with Ward’s directions, but with a final glare your way, he removed himself from the room. Ward watched as your expression drooped, eyes blinking slower as the medicine kicked in.

“I told you, you’ll never see them again.”

Heavy tears blinked from your eyes as you tried to fight through, tried to stay awake to warn the woman downstairs of your horrendous conditions, of how damaged they’d left you. But you couldn’t, despite all your efforts, you couldn’t.

And as your vision faded to black, all you could think of was your brother and how you wanted to be with him again, more than anything in the world.

And now, John B was going to be sick to his stomach so he stood up to pace while fighting the bile in his throat. Rafe Cameron. Rafe Cameron took away something you’d never even had a chance to consider.

“Did he…” The open ended question made John B dizzy at the thought of everything that you’d gone through, and when you shook your head no, he choked out a cough instead of the lunch he was threatening to leave in the bush.

You watched him from your spot on the stairs, heart racing as you recounted everything you’d told Kie earlier that day. “There was so much, um, scar tissue from the kicking…and the drugs. A-and they said it caused permanent damage that even if I wanted to get pregnant, I wouldn’t make it long.”

“When did you find out? The hospital? Or-or-” John B stopped pacing, his hand tugging at his hair to keep him from absolutely raging in the cemetery.

“It was when you got arrested,” You continued to explain around your tears before he lost his chill. “There was so much bleeding and… I didn’t know what to do…so I told Pope, and his dad took me to the hospital and-”

“Pope knows?” John B had never sounded so upset at the idea of one of his best friends finding out this information before he did. You were his sister, his other half no matter what happened. He wanted you to trust him, to lean on him for everything and anything you wanted. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You shrugged lightly, your voice cracking as you spoke, “Because I’m embarrassed? And ashamed and JJ’s going to leave when he finds out and-”

John B picked you up from the stairs and held you so tightly, he could’ve sworn you disappeared. His chest shook with your sobs as you sunk into the embrace. You weren’t even 19 yet and the possibility of growing a family with your boyfriend, John B’s best friend, was practically non-existent.

Adoption was always an option, but John B knew what you were grieving, because he had almost grieved it when he lost Sarah on that table in Nassau. Plus, let’s not lie, the chances of you all getting your shit together and getting approved for that kind of thing were slipping away by the day. There was still so much time in your lives (you hoped), that you shouldn’t be hearing this news at such a young age, but like you said, life had been so cruel.

John B stood there, with you in his arms, for as long as you’d let him. You cried for most of it, but a part of you was relieved he knew. You had tried to keep the conversation away as long as possible, like if you didn’t speak of it, you’d never have to accept that it was real. But it was, and you had to come to the realization that John B wouldn’t be an uncle to kids that you’d created on your own, that JJ wouldn’t ever get to redeem himself as a Dad to kids of his own, that you’d never get that experience.

“I’m so sorry, I… I should’ve been there, I should’ve never left without you,” John B apologized and placed his hand on the back of your head to hold you closer. “God, I shouldn’t have-I didn’t mean for this to happen. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“‘S not your fault,” You mumbled, every word being so honest. It had taken a lot of thought, but you couldn’t and you wouldn’t blame John B for what he’d done. He was a terrified kid, and you were too in your own ways. He was running for his life and you were watching from the sidelines. Older and younger. Brother and sister. Trapped in this horrible spiral life had given you.

“What are we looking for?”

An unsuspecting voice had you and John B diving for a hiding spot, your brother tugging you behind a gravestone that would keep both of you from prying eyes. John B held a finger to his lips, teary eyes making contact with yours as you were wrenched out of your heartbreaking conversation and back into reality.

Keeping his hand on your shoulder to hold you out of view, John B peeked around the gravestone to see two figures wandering the cemetery with a lantern, obviously looking for something other than a deceased loved one.

“We’re looking for an angel. A gatekeeper. One that looks a bit like her. Hello, Stede Bonnet,” A woman answered the question. “Isn’t that a beauty? Excellent, come on.”

You shivered, whether from the cool stone against your back or fear, you didn’t know and risked glancing over to see the two figures investigating another grave a few feet away from you. They were pulling out heavy tools in an attempt to open whatever was lying inside.

“Shit,” John B whispered as you watched the woman place the amulet you’d found in the shipwreck into the stone, the headstone scraping open as she did. You quickly recognized the man as the one who had caught you and JJ while diving and again in the hospital, so that left this woman to be his boss.

After a moment of silence and more scraping noises, they disappeared under the stone, down into the tomb that lay beneath. Thunder cracked overhead and you jumped, grabbing onto John B’s arm in surprise.

He moved away slowly and your grip tightened to stop him. “John B!”

“Shh, just stay behind me. We’re so not done with that conversation, by the way.”

You shuffled out slowly in fear of someone getting the jump on the two of you. John B paused in front of the headstone that the two people from earlier read; the angel statue had an outstretched hand, which you followed to the tomb they disappeared in.

“The gatekeeper will guide the way,” John B repeated as he followed your gaze. “Holy shit.”

“Holy shit,” You gasped out in shock, realizing they very much had figured out the words on the amulet faster than you’d planned. “Do you think…”

“They’ll be fine,” John B reassured, although you couldn’t tell if he was speaking more to himself or you. “They’re smart. Right?”

You tilted your head in consideration. “Better than us being down there.”

“Yeah, yeah. Way better than us.”

“Pope’s super smart.”

“Right and Cleo’s got her knife.”

“Sarah’s not dumb, she’ll be fine.”

“Kie can have her moments, but-”

Your reasoning was cut off as the headstone shifted and the two individuals from earlier climbed out. John B pushed you behind him further into the shadows of the building as you watched on with curious gazes. Lightning lit up the sky before thunder boomed around you, the storm clearly moving in closer despite your wishes.

You needed to find your friends. And fast.

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ask me anything

#outer banks x reader #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #outer banks #outer banks imagine #jj maybank imagine #goy series #outer banks imagines #john b outer banks #john b routledge x sister!reader #pogues x routledge!reader #routledge!reader #jj outer banks #outer banks jj #obx jj #jj x you #jj maybank outer banks #jj maybank angst #jj maybank x you

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aricarianis · 2 days ago

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CW: explicit depictions of violence and sexual themes.

John Price was the love of your life. Love is a powerful force—capable of building or destroying—and what you shared kept you bound to him for years. But only having his rough hands on your skin for a few months at a time, hearing his gruff voice say sweet nothings over the phone, missing the feel of his beard grazing your neck as his words seeped into you like venom, all wore down the foundations of what a real relationship was supposed to be.

He knew it. He felt the same sick ache in his chest every time he promised to come home soon, both of you aware it was a lie. He’d promised to slow down, to leave the job, to stay by your side, but the marriage you ended up with wasn’t the one you’d signed up for. You didn’t want a husband who vanished for months on end. When he returned, he’d devour you, craving your body like a hard drug. His hands too eager to find your sweet spots, cock too hungry to make you forget that he had lied. He'd push you into constant moments of bliss, tricking, but even his passion couldn’t erase the truth: he’d lie again.

In time, your marriage went where so many do. When he was handed the divorce papers at the base, he still tried to attack the process server. You wanted out, and nothing he did would change it—not refusing to sign, not tearing the papers up, not skipping court. You weren’t his anymore.

Life carried on, with months passing and, as usual, not a word from John. You thought losing the love of your life would be agony enough, but his indifference only added to the torment. Part of you wished you’d never met him; never knowing love would’ve been worth never knowing this pain.

The night before the hearing, you invited your lawyer to your flat to go over last-minute instructions. As the meeting wound down, a low, metallic sound came from the bedroom.

“Did you hear that?” you asked. He shook his head.

The two of you sat in tense silence for a moment, dread prickling at you. Your lawyer offered to check the bedroom, but you dismissed it, assuring him it was probably nothing. The meeting continued until, just before leaving, he asked to use the restroom. You directed him to the en suite, since the guest bathroom had stopped working that morning.

Lost in thought, you noticed several minutes had passed without him returning. Concerned, you called his name. No answer. Yelled. Still no answer. Your chest tightened, dread spreading through you like poison. Gripping the hunting knife John had given you for protection, you made your way to the bedroom.

“You can put that thing down, love. ‘S just me.” The gruff voice sent a shiver down your spine—unmistakable.

You peeked into the dark room, spotting the familiar silhouette against the dim light from the window. “John? H-how did you find me?”

“Why’d I have to find you in the first place?” His tone was cold, anger simmering beneath restraint.

“I needed space,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “Single people live alone.”

“You know damn well you aren't single.”

“I’ve been single ever since I married you.”

Your words cut deep. His shoulders slumped as he sighed, hurt etched on his face.

“Where’s my lawyer?” you asked, searching the shadows.

“He’s not our problem anymore.”

“John…” Your breath hitched. “What did you do?”

“Someone’s trying to take you from me, innit? Was it him?”

“Where is he?”

“Think a piece of paper’ll keep me from you?” His voice dripped with rage.

“Why do you care? You love your job more than you love me—”

“Don’t say that.”

“I understand, John, but this wasn’t the marriage I was promised. I’d rather have none of you than pieces,” you said, your voice thick. “At least then I wouldn’t have to lie to myself that I’ll ever have you whole.”

He breathed heavily, brow furrowing as if struggling to comprehend your words.

"Why can't you just admit you've fucked up and leave me alone, huh? You had months to pull this little stunt—it's too late to care now."

John’s expression went blank, unreadable. He lunged, disarming you with practiced ease, gripping you by the hair and throwing you onto the bed. Your back hit something solid, unfamiliar beneath the covers.

He flicked on the light, and before your eyes adjusted, he was above you, pressing the knife to your throat. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his beard scratching your skin, hunger corroding him from within.

Instinctively, you turned to the side, seeking something to help you escape. Instead, you saw your lawyer’s lifeless, bloodshot eyes staring back, ones that had met yours with empathy so many times, reassuring you that everything would be okay. His neck twisted at a grotesque angle, lips slack in a silent scream.

“I’ll hunt you down forever, love,” John whispered, his voice carrying all the rage and obsession you overlooked for years.

Tears streamed down your cheeks, your breathing erratic, heart thundering. He pulled back, holding your gaze with a look that seared into your soul, his mouth twisting into a cruel smile.

“Doesn’t matter what you think,” he murmured, voice dangerously soft. “I will always be the love of your life.”

#aricarianis #call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #cod x reader #john price #john price x reader #john price x you #captain john price #price cod #horrotica #arics echoes #writing #fanfic #horror

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333sturns · 2 days ago

Note

matt knew that you were a bit sensitive during intercourse, and because of that he would respect you and your boundaries.but today was different.you had purposely asked matt prior to not hold himself back this time. he had resisted almost everytime you asked always using the same excuse: “i dont wanna hurt you m’love.”“itll be too much.”but yet you ended up together with matt towering over you, one hand placed onto your clit and the other on your hip to keep you steady as he thrusted into you.you threw your head back in pleasurable pain, loving the feeling that he wasnt going in his usual slow pace as he used to. you let the painful whimpers slip from your lips as he kept going. “m—matt,”he rubbed his thumb harshly along the bulb of your clit, to quickly slipping his fingers inside you. still not stopping his thrusts as he did so. you squeezed your legs together in an attempt to push him away. your mind fogging up making you completely forget what you had said earlier.“legs apart.” he husks, thrusting harsher by the second. you cried out his name in sobs, your legs falling weak from tiredness. “too—much—“ he gave you a deep thrust in response. matts lips curling into a smile from your words. “this is what you wanted, so take it.”you were now close to your second orgasm of the night, your core tightening up as it grew deep inside you.“gonna cum!”“yeah? cum for me darling,”you were already overstimulated by your second orgasm. (This is what you wrote so far)

“SUNFLOWER”

requested by: @annoyingtacomentality

matt knew that you were a bit sensitive during intercourse, so, we would respect you and your boundaries.

but today was different.

you had purposely asked matt prior to the intercourse to not hold himself back this time. he had resisted about everytime youve asked him, using the same excuse:

“i dont wanna hurt you.”

“itll be too much.”

instead, he finally gave in.

“fuck it.”

and now you ended up having matt hovering over you while you lay beneath him. he stared hazily into your eyes as he had one had onto the bulb of your clit and his other hand onto your waist to keep you steady.

you felt the helpless whimpers fall from your lips in response, ones like never before. yet, you secretly loved how he wasnt holding himself back anymore.

“matt—“

he harshly rubbed his finger along your clit, to then quickly slipping his finger inside of you. still not stopping his thrusts as he did so.

you squeezed your legs together subconsciously to the feeling in attempt to push him away. “legs apart.” he husks, thrusting deeper in response to your pleads.

you cried out his name louder than ever, feeling the substance of your previous orgasms sticking to your legs. you let your legs fall to the bed from tiredness, watching through your lashes as he smirked down at you.

“c’mon baby, you can take it.”

you already felt your stomach building up towards your second orgasm the second you felt matt to gain back his rhythm.

the tears flooded your eyes; pooling down to your cheeks. you quickly felt the pleasure turn into pain. reaching out towards matts shoulder, you spoke soft but just loud enough for him to hear.

“sunflower,”

matt looked down at you, slowing down and stopping almost instantly at your words. of course matt wasnt going to just let himself run free even though you had asked him to,

so he made a safeword.

matts gaze softened at the site of you trembling and weeping underneath him. he slowly pulled out of you, smiling down at you in response to your whine of relief.

“too much yeah?” he starts.

your chest rose up with every heavy breath that you took. finally opening your eyes and being met with matt smiling down at you. you felt your cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“y-yeah.”

“no worries, cmere.”

he gently brushed the hair out of your face and lifted you up by your arms. taking you into your shared bathroom. he placed you down onto the toilet seat.

chuckling as he saw your submissive state. he threw you a towel to not get cold for the moment as the water began to warm up.

he let his fingers run through the water until it waw at a perfect temperature for you to bathe in.

“here, a bath just for you.”

you weakly made yourself to the bath. letting out a sigh of relief as you completely sat down.

“feels s’good.”

“i know baby.. will ya let me bathe you?”

“yeah.”

“alright, sunshine.”

✉️: @toooster @ifwdominicfike @lvrsturniolo @faith5drpepper @delilahsturniolo @lormyaaa @ilusa @zayluvss @marrykisskilled

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semperama · 1 day ago

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I wrote this last night when I was trying to distract myself from...everything. Set in 3x15, post-well collapse.

----

Buck is bleeding.

It’s Eddie who notices. He pulls the oxygen mask Hen just put on him to the side and nods down at Buck’s lap where his hands dangle over his knees. “What happened there?”

“Eddie, don’t—” Hen starts to say as the ambulance jolts into motion, Chim up front at the wheel. But then she looks at Buck’s hands, and Buck looks down at them too, and he sees what they see—rusty crust of dried blood, some of it bright red and oozing sluggish, dripping between his feet. A few of the nails are cracked or half ripped away. Now that he’s looking, his fingers throb. The pain is dull and distant, but it’s there.

“Buck,” Hen says, half dismay, half resignation. She reaches, hesitates.

“I’m fine,” Eddie says. He’s talking to Hen, but he meets Buck’s gaze and holds it. “Go check him out.”

“No.” Buck fights the urge to put his hands behind his back, like that’ll make a difference. “It’s nothing. Just a few scrapes.”

But Hen already has the antiseptic in her hands, and she takes Buck by the wrist, pulls him closer and leans over him.

It stings. He hisses, flinches. An ache haunts the back of his throat, and he can’t tell if it’s from residual panic or from screaming Eddie’s name, sobbing in Bobby’s lap.

“What did you do?” Eddie says. He’s still so pale, and Buck wants to take his hand away from Hen so he can pull Eddie against him, rub color and life back into his limbs.

“This idiot thought he could dig his way to you with his bare hands,” Hen says.

It sound crazy when she says it like that, but it wasn’t crazy, it wasn’t. It was essential. If Bobby hadn’t pulled him away, he would have gotten to Eddie eventually. His heart would have stopped beating otherwise, so—it would have worked. He could have done it.

Eddie won’t stop staring at him. And it’s fine, because Buck doesn’t want to look away either, or to let Eddie out of his sight ever again. He isn’t—he wasn’t supposed to be on this ambulance, but he’d turned to Bobby and said, Shouldn’t someone stay with him? And Bobby had looked at him for a long time before nodding, Okay, go on, and Buck was climbing in behind Eddie before the words had even fully left his mouth.

“Buck,” Eddie says, admonishing, and that’s—Buck laughs, short and sharp.

“You cut your line.”

Eddie grins. It’s dim with exhaustion, but it’s still—it’s— “Please,” he says. “You’d have done the same.”

Would Eddie have done the same, if their places were reversed? Would he have clawed at the earth, if it was Buck down there? When he was swimming through all that water, that impossible distance, was he thinking—like Buck was thinking—about how it wasn’t supposed to end this way? There was still so much inside Buck, and he needed someplace to put it, and he knew, too late and with dozens of feet of mud between them, that Eddie was that place.

Does Eddie know? Should Buck tell him now?

He opens his mouth, but he thinks better of it when Hen reaches for his other hand. No, not now. “Maybe I would have,” he says instead, “but you’d have given me hell for it.”

Eddie nods minutely. His gaze feels like a weight, pinning Buck to the uncomfortable bench. “Yeah. I would have.”

Hen finishes wrapping Buck’s fingers in gauze just as they arrive at the hospital. Now that he’s thinking about it, the pain is more pronounced, his heartbeat pounding in his fingertips. He jumps out of the back, and holds a hand out to help Eddie down too, but Eddie looks at him like he’s crazy and levers himself carefully to the ground without Buck’s help. It’s—considerate of him, avoiding Buck’s injured hands, but Buck wants to touch him so bad he thinks he might start screaming again. He settles for putting a steadying hand on Eddie’s shoulder when his feet hit the ground.

It hurts when he squeezes. He squeezes harder, until Eddie pats the small of his back and says, “I’m good.”

A nurse leads Eddie back to check him out. Hen and Chim head back to the station; they need to get the ambulance back, do their paperwork, help Bobby wrap up their shift, but they both hug Buck on the way out and tell him to call if anything comes up.

This is just a precaution, really—check Eddie’s lungs, check for hypothermia, get him painkillers for how sore he’ll be in the morning. Still, Buck stares at the doors that lead back to the exam rooms and doesn’t look away, hardly blinks. He wonders what the distance is between them now. If it’s more or less than the distance from the surface of the earth to the place where Eddie was buried alive.

At some point, Bobby comes, presses the keys to Buck’s Jeep into his hand and tells him they dropped it off in the parking lot, then leaves again. Buck must have spoken to him, but he doesn’t know what he said.

It’s fine. Eddie is fine, and Buck should be embarrassed that he still can’t draw a full breath. In, out, he tells himself. In, out, until the doors swing open and Eddie is there again, some color in his cheeks, smiling.

Buck gets to his feet, but he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. They hurt more now, waves of pain pulsing up his arms. He wants to reach out.

Eddie’s close. One foot away. Less. No earth between them.

Buck could touch him. Buck wants to touch him. But Eddie beats him to it. His hand lands on the back of Buck’s neck, and Buck is so relieved, his knees nearly give out.

“Home?” Eddie asks. And—he’s asking for Buck to take him there, but there’s something in the way he says it, something in his eyes and the way they’re locked on Buck’s. He could mean something else. Yeah, you are, Buck wants to say.

“Home,” he says instead.

Eddie’s palm lingers on his neck. Buck’s own hands throb. He flexes them, takes comfort in the ache. He doesn’t have to dig anymore, right? He doesn’t have to dig.

#buddie #911 show #911 abc

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lazyneonrabbitt · 2 days ago

Text

Cream

Adar x Reader | SMUT🔞

Adar's pregnant lover aches, and Adar offers relief and gets himself a treat while doing so.

A cup of fluffy, steaming hot milky goodness for anon~

Grumbling you paced through the rugged wartent you called home. Your entire body hurt when you didn't spend your time sleeping. But sleep wouldn't come when not a single position you laid in pullee at yoir muscles without Adar offering the needed support. The rolls of fur were just not doing the trick.

"My moon, what is keeping you up this late?" Adar had walked in on you waddling around the house, a hand on your large belly and one at the small of your back. "Come, to bed with you." He tossed his gauntlet aside and stepped behind you, his back leaning against the remains of a brick wall with you pulled against him. His hands found the underside of your belly and lifted ir just the smallest bit, instantly relieving tension on your body and earning a satisfied sigh from you.

Adar's lips were at your ear, pressing soft kisses to the shell. "I know you feel discomfort, it will be over soon."

He loved you. All of you. He looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky, and now the full moon as well.

Adar let you rest against him for a little while longer before taking you to bed. Way too soft for him nowadays but it brought you comfort, and with that thought he managed to get the small amount he needed and even a little more some nights, tangled in each others' limbs.

Adar rid himself of armor and cloth, leaving him in just trousers as he laid down beside you. Yet still with each movement you groaned in discomfort, wanting to curl up away from him, even with Adar's everlasting patience when it came to discussing more intimate topics.

The truth was, Adar loved you so much he spent days preparing foods for you, seeing which ones you could keep down. He washed you from head to toe, cleaned the vomit off your garment and out of your hair during your early months.

He didn't need to speak words aloud, his eyes spoke for him.

"My chest is sore.." You mumbled under your breath, not daring to look at him where je laid beside you, propped up on his elbow as his free hand found hip. "I tried massaging like you do when I ache but it hurts. And leaks.."

You saw Adar perk up at your last words, a soft smile on his lips as his hand moved to undo the string that held your dress together to take a closer look. Not that he needed a reason to undress you, ever. You'd let him.

With the neckline widened enough he pushed the dress off your shoulders, gently helping your arms out of the fabric and let it hang loose under your chest.

With careful touches he held your breast, his thumb rubbing around it to inspect. Apologies sounded as you whined in discomfort, and with each soft press Adar watched white fluid run down his fingers.

"There is nothing wrong with you." Adar spoke in a voice calm and comforting, his dull blue eyes looking up at you and pressing a kiss to the top of your breast.

"Your body is overproducing. Do you wish for my help to lessen the pain?" Without really thinking of it he licked his fingers clean and watched you nod, asking for his help.

With a nod of his own in return he lowered his head to your chest, mouth open and tongue out to lap at your nipple. A soft gasp of surprise sounded from you, but that didn't stop him from moving on to wrap his lips around it and suck.

It felt strange, the gentle tug each time he sucked and drank from you. Every fiber in your body said it was wrong, to let him do this, but it felt good.

It felt good and you felt loved. His actions might have been considered taboo among your kind, but the uruk were different. And oh, how Adar's tongue flicked over your pebbled nipple inbetween sucking on it so delicately was making you feel good.

Maybe even almost as good as he was, feeling his hard cock press against your thigh. One hand found his hair as the other drew patterns over his back. Soft sighs and moans sounded through the air, with your fingers tangled at Adar's roots tugging as his fingers found your wet folds and slicked his fingerpads and tease your clit.

"Hah-- ohh Adarr." You mewled as he let go of your nipple with a wet pop. "P.. please, don't stop.. Feels so good.."

"Oh, I am nowhere near done, my moon. Relax and let me care for you." Adar's attention moved to your other breast, where he repeated the motion of flicking his tongue before starting to suckle. This time being less careful and moaning as he tasted you. "Oh my love, I fear once our child is born I will be jealous they get to do this every day.." His hips rolled against your thigh, rutting to create some desperately needed friction. The way you whined and mewled as he rubbed circles on your clit and the taste of your milk on his tongue was almost overwhelming. He was now riding your thigh in the proces of easing your discomfort with his mouth and fingers.

"You may have a taste, whenever you wish.." You moaned when his fingers spread more of your slick all over your sensitive bud, bucking your hips up against his hand and tugging hard at his hair. Your walls clenched around nothing at a harsh press of Adar's fingers. You were close, and so was Adar going off the sounds he made.

"You make me feel s.. so good, love." You stuttered through your sentence as you crept closer to your climax, finding Adar's ear tip to rub between your fingers.

With a couple more ruts, rubs, sucks and sighs Adar pulled his mouth off your breast and moved to press his lips flush against yours just as his fingers pulled an orgasm from you. The sensation of your own milk flowing into your mouth through Adar's lips only amplified your high, sending pure bliss through your entire body. You barely came down when Adar's hips stilled against your thigh with a groan, entirely satisfied and ready to pass out.

Panting, Adar looked up at you. "Has the ache faded?" His eyes followed your head lolling back onto the plush of the bed with a smile. "Yes, Adar. It has, thank you."

A satisfied hum left him then, arms snaking around your frame as he settled, careful to give you enough space to get comfortable and wrap himself around you for support.

"Good night, my moon."

#sometimes i write #adar x reader #adar smut #adar imagine #adar fanfic #adar #stepdadar #trop adar #rings of power #the rings of power #lord of the rings #lotr #trop

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beef-brisket · 3 days ago

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Angel: Kick his ass, Adam

Angel flipped Vox off as he walked away.

Vox: You whore! Val will hear about this-!

Adam growled and stepped in front of Vox, blocking Angel from him.

Adam: You're here to see me, ass hair. The fuck do you want?

Vox: I have a proposition for you~.

Adam cringed: I'd rather not know what that is, thank you.

Vox: Oh, don't worry. This benefits you and your little hotel.

Adam: Really? Well, if it doesn't involve touching you, I'd be happy to hear it!

Vox: How childish are you, Adam? Really now. Touch ME!? I wouldn't give you the satisfaction~.

Adam: My, my. Look at how confident you sound. Hm... I like it~.

Vox blushes: R-Really?

Adam: No. Now, get on with it. I'm very busy.

Vox growled. He's remembering why he lov- hates Adam.

Vox: Fine. I'm sure you would like an advertisement deal for the hotel-

Adam: I can handle that.

Vox: Oh- come on, Adam! Radio!? Really!? We're not in the 30s anymore!

Adam: I'm still waiting for your proposal. And if you don't hurry, I will make you regret ever coming here.

Lucifer watches from the stairs as Adam starts to become more demonic. The lights flicker, and the air fills with static. Because of his increase in power, he looks a lot more terrifying.

Lucifer has to stop himself from laughing as Vox actually cowers.

Vox: F-Fine! Shit!

Within an instant, Adam returns to normal and fixes his suit.

Adam: Get on with it then.

Vox: ...I uh... yes- well... I would like to endorse your hotel!

Adam: It's not MY hotel, Vox. You should get the ownership right before you offer endorsement. Not that we need it. I'm perfectly capable of handling this place myself.

Lucifer could tell Vox was getting angry. Adam has that smug smile on his face. One that used to piss Lucifer off as much as it is Vox, but now he finds it charming.

Vox: You need me, Adam. Just- please... give me a chance. We used to be friends! Partners even!

Adam: We were never partners, Vox.

Vox: I know you say that- and I understand where you're coming from... as much as it hurts. I just... I need... you.

Adam: ...You need me?

Vox: I do. I'd like to work a deal out with you- a mutual deal. I have something that would really interest you.

Adam: A deal? Now you've interested me~. Go on.

Vox: Look- we should discuss this at a mutual place- come to the Vee tower tomorrow at 12pm-

Adam: That's not mutual ground, Vox. And you're making this sound like a trap~. You wouldn't do that to me, would you Vox?

Vox tenses as one of Adam's tentacles rubs past his face.

Vox: O-Of course not-!

Adam: Because you understand that you've never stood a chance against me~. And your two bedwarmers can't help you. So, if this is a trap or you waste my time, I'll show you pain you've never known existed. Ha! How ironic! I may even have you on my radio show! I'm sure my listeners would love to hear you beg and scream~.

Vox tried to fix his composure: U-Uh- yes! I'm sure! But luckily, that won't happen! You'll love what I have to show you, trust me.

Adam: I don't trust you... but I won't lie, I am interested. And, thanks to a recent development, I'm a lot stronger~. So, why not! I'd love the chance to blow off some steam, and if you three get in my way, that'll be double the fun~.

Vox: ...S-So- see you at 12?

Adam smiles, flashing his sharp teeth: Yes. See you at 12.

Vox: Fantastic! It's a date!

Adam narrows his eyes as Vox walks off. One day, he'll love to smash that screen all over again. Maybe fuck up the other antenna.

Lowkey want an au where Adam has Alastors' powers.

The tentacles

The eyes

The changing size

The shadows

The sass

The deal making

Him owning Husk and Nifty

The musical numbers

The radio control

The tentacles- have I mentioned that before?

The rivalry with Lucifer

Maybe he replaces Alastor entirely. No Alastor. Only Adam. It's always been Adam.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

Only Adam lol This is good! His Husk and Nifty could be Lute and Peter.

He doesn't have to smile all the time does he?

Yessss, and he plays rock instead of jazz lol And yes of course there is a rivalry lol

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syluslnd · 2 hours ago

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HIII

COULD U PLS DO A FIC WITH A MOTHERLY READER WHO IS REALLY CARING AND KIND FOR SYLUS PLSSS.

i imagine she’s always looking out for him, Mephisto as well as the twins.

THANK UUUUUU

when your motherly instincts kick in

The front door opened quietly but you could feel him before you saw him. Sylus always tried to be subtle, but even his steps had a certain weight to them—like he was carrying the world on his shoulders but wouldn’t let anyone see it. You turned around just in time to catch his eyes, sharp but softened as soon as they met yours.

“Welcome home” you greeted with a warm smile, already moving toward him.

“Hey sweetie” Sylus’s voice was as deep and steady as ever but there was a hint of tension in his shoulders that you couldn’t ignore.

You took in the way he was standing, just a little too stiff, a little too careful and your brow furrowed. He was trying so hard to look unaffected but you knew him better than that.

Without saying a word, you reached out and poked him gently in the side. He winced, barely noticeable but you caught it. You narrowed your eyes, folding your arms in that motherly way he always teased you for.

“Gotcha!” you said with a knowing smile. “and don’t even try to say it’s nothing.”

Sylus sighed, trying to look away but you tilted his chin back toward you, your voice soft but firm. “Don’t think you can hide when you’re hurt, Sylus. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s nothing, really.” His attempt at reassurance fell flat when he shifted and another flash of pain crossed his face.

You huffed, rolling your eyes. “Nothing, huh?” You took his hand and gently led him to the couch, easing him down as if he were fragile, even though you both knew he was far from it. But it didn’t matter to you—right now, he was hurt and that was all it took to bring out your full motherly instincts.

“Sit still” you instructed, disappearing for a moment to grab the first-aid kit. When you returned, he looked up, watching you with that mix of amusement and exasperation you loved so much. He knew there was no use arguing with you when you got into this mode.

Carefully, you kneeled beside him, setting to work on cleaning and bandaging his wounds. Sylus flinched at your touch once or twice but he tried to keep still, his eyes never leaving yours as you worked.

“kitten..you’re too good to me, you know” he murmured, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Maybe”you replied, meeting his gaze, “but that doesn’t mean you get a free pass to keep things from me. Next time, tell me when you’re hurt. I don’t want you pushing through things alone.”

Sylus let out a soft chuckle, a sound that melted into the air like warmth. “Alright, alright. I promise.” The promise felt real, genuine, and he reached up, giving your hand a gentle squeeze in thanks.

You were just finishing up with the last bandage when you heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps—two pairs, unmistakably familiar. You turned just as Luke and Kieran entered the room, looking a little worse for wear themselves, like they’d had a rough day of training.

“And where have you two been?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at them in the same way you’d done with Sylus. Both twins stopped dead in their tracks, trading sheepish glances.

“Uh… training?” Kieran offered, scratching the back of his neck, clearly trying to look innocent.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought” you replied, hands on your hips. “I told you all to take it easy and look after yourselves. Do you want to end up hurt like Sylus?”

They shifted, looking apologetic but they couldn’t hide their amusement as you gave them your best scolding look.

Sylus, meanwhile, was grinning, clearly enjoying the show. “I think you’re adorable when you get all angry” he said softly, just loud enough for the twins to hear.

They both stifled laughs, but you caught their giggles. “Laugh it up, boys” you teased, trying to keep your stern tone but failing as a smile broke through. “But seriously, all of you—take care of yourselves. I don’t want to keep patching you up every time you walk through that door.”

The three of them nodded but their smiles betrayed them, showing just how much they adored you in that moment and maybe, you thought, as you took one last glance at each of them, maybe they’d actually start listening—if only so they could see that look of worry fade from your face.

But for now, you were just glad they were all home, safe and that you could care for them in the way only you knew how.

#love and deepspace #lnds sylus #love and deepspace sylus #l&ds sylus #lads sylus #sylus #sylus x reader #sylus x you

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thegingerwriter · 2 days ago

Text

Between grinding gears - 1

Uhh, I wrote this today. I have more. This is Chapter 1. Oh my god I'm so nervous to post my original writing lol enjoy it, please. I have so much whump writing in my notes just sitting there

CONTENT: Whumper with cane, implied forced drowning, implied punishment, nothing 18+

Allison was yanked out of the water, heaving with every breath she was able to pull into her lungs as she clutched at the floor to try and climb to her feet.

Barely a second passed of her trying to grab a hold of something when a boot landed on her back, pushing her down to the floor. “Nuh uh- you can stay down there for a moment,” a voice said.

Allison groaned, still coughing up water as her damp clothes stuck to her entire body, squishing against the cold concrete floor and making the situation so much more uncomfortable. Allison was only just processing where the words even came from when the voice spoke again.

“Now, we’ve got some time to talk about our earlier discussion.” Grayson. It was Grayson. Walter’s fucking pride and joy head captain on the “worst fucking people ever team”.

The discussion he was referring to brought Allison back to her alarming present. Walter. Left a few days ago for a trip. Left Grayson in charge. Told him to keep her working. Told him to keep an eye on her.

Allison also distinctly remembered a particular moment (she didn’t know when it was, had she passed out) where she told Grayson to “go fuck yourself.”

Ah, she thought. So that’s what’s happened.

“Allison, are you listening?” Grayson’s voice was impatient.

“Mmm,” was all she was able to reply, her coughing coming in waves but not being made any better by the foot on the middle of her back.

“Tomorrow,” Grayson started, “we’re transporting you to a facility-”

“No-” Allison pushed the word out with much as force as she could muster, attempting to put her palms to the floor to push herself up. It didn’t do much.

Grayson responded with a harsh push but ultimately lifted his foot, stepping away from her limp body as he kept talking.

“And every day you don’t work, I’m coming into your cell myself.” Grayson’s words were setting Allison off as she finally began to drag herself across the floor. There was no plan, no real way of escape. But she wasn’t trying to escape, just get away from him.

“Walter doesn’t even know how to train you properly.” Grayson spat, his voice still close, telling her he was following closely. The implication made her stomach sank to know she was barely moving. “Look at you, you should be begging not to be hurt. You should be down and know to stay there. Stay in your room until your called. Use the power you don’t even deserve, work, go back. And yet, you just don’t know when to stop.”

Grayson’s voice rang out in the concrete room as Allison started coughing again as she swallowed and was reminded of her inability to breathe a moment ago.

Allison perked her head up as Grayson came around to her front, squatting to her level and wasting no time by grabbing a fistful of her drenched hair and lifting her head up harshly and leaning down till his lips were touching her ear. She cried out, not having enough energy to even lift her hands up to head to even try to relieve the pain.

“No wonder you don’t have any respect for this situation or the authority in this place. Walter couldn’t even do-” Grayson hissed into her ear, but was interrupted by another voice.

“Couldn’t do what?” The voice was clear and authoritative. Loud. The effect it had on Grayson was almost immediate as he dropped Allison’s head and she had half a second to hold herself up enough to stop her chin slamming into the concrete.

Allison recognised the voice and was terrified to find she was almost relieved. She rested her head gently on the ground, taking a moment to breathe for a second while looking up slightly at the pair of clean black formal shoes a metre or two in front of her face, a matching cane between them.

“Walter,” Grayson’s louder voice than before did very little to hide his nerves. “When did you get back?” He almost sounded scared.

Walter’s voice sent a shiver through Allison. “Not soon enough, I think. Why have you tried to break my pet?”

Allison tried hard not to object to the statement. Not yet. Grayson is unapologetic in his answer when he replies.

“She wouldn’t learn. And you don’t seem to teach.”

The words make her heart skip a beat. Fear is coursing through her when thoughts fill her head about what Walter might do to her if he is threatened that he doesn’t punish her enough. The anxiety of the thoughts compels her to speak.

“No- Jilten- please I- Gray tried to… I-” She can’t get anything out properly and she barely notices that Walter has worked forward, crouching down and hooking the top of his cane under her chin to force her to look up at him, as much as it hurts to hold her head up.

Walter’s eyes are unforgiving but there’s something in them that says she might not be the one in trouble right now. Like he’s upset someone has touched his toys. “Maybe I like you a little broken like this…But you’re not broken for me, are you darling?” Walter speaks and Allison’s words catch in her throat again.

Walter pulls his cane away and reaches down to cup her chin. The contact makes her melt slightly and she curses herself and him for it. Despite Walter’s cruelties, he kept her sane. He needed her sane to break her the way he liked. And she can’t ever be broken enough to not do the work that he so desperately needed her for. And Grayson almost ruined that.

Allison tries to protest at his words again, but he shushes her. “It’s okay. You’ll be alright, it’s not you that I’m set on punishing right now, you’re in trouble enough already” And with that, he stands up, clearly ending the conversation, but Allison persists.

“Jilten please I promise-” Allison finally finds enough of her voice, but Walter has had enough.

“No, I think that’s enough out of you. Present company already thinks I’m too soft on you.”

Allison looks up at him but is met with Walter already having straightened completely and staring at Grayson, who has been mostly silent watching the exchange. Allison goes to make a sound from the back of her throat in protest of the situation and indicate she is not done, but Walter pushes the bottom of his cane on the back of her head, pushing her down gently until her cheek touches the floor. Her face burns at the thought of Grayson watching this but something in her feels something else. Allison would never defend Walter but Grayson could never have this kind of power over her. Or anyone.

“What have you achieved?” Walter asks.

Grayson is confused in his reply, his eyes flicking down to Allison on the floor beneath them “Surrounding Allison?”

Walter is growing more impatient and take it out on Allison, pushing down slightly harder on his cane whether intentionally or not. “You claim to be more skilled in teaching my pet. Surely that means you have evidence attuning to the fact you have information from her to aid in our endeavours?”

Grayson is silent for a moment before he clears his throat. “We’ve been close. She cooperated for a little with Jonathan and I on this project- I think it could work, just like you said. But she was purposefully aggravating us and making things go wrong. She won’t work. All she tried to do was find a way to contact them.” Allison stiffens at Grayson’s recount.

Walter makes a tutting noise with his mouth, clearly displeased with this new information. He removes the cane from Allison’s head and gently pushes the tip of his shoe under her chin to lift it to look into her eyes. When Walter speaks, it’s to Grayson, but he’s staring daggers into Allison.

“And… did she succeed?” Walter asks, eyes not leaving Allison.

“Sorry?” Grayson replies.

Walter turns to Grayson, clearly impatient. “Did she contact them?” He looks back down at Allison.

“No. She didn’t get the chance to.”

Allison tries to release the breath she’s been holding in, but she’s worried Walter notices. Walter continues to stare down at her, and she tries not to squirm under his gaze, but she can’t help moving back slightly when he crouches down again to grab her face, cupping her chin.

“Darling,” Walter pauses, letting the severity of the question he’s about to ask sink into her. “Did you find a way to contact your precious friends?” The nice touches are over now, Walter’s voice is low but above a whisper and he grips her chin much harder than before.

“We would have noticed.” Grayson tries to interject, but Walter is completely ignoring him.

Allison tries to shake her head, but Walter’s grip on her face doesn’t allow her to. “Ah-ah, tell me.” He leans closer and Allison can’t help but flinch. “Come on Ali you can tell me.”

Allison barely has the strength to hold anything back anymore, and even though she doesn’t reply, her heart sinks as Walter nods in understanding at the look on her face and the breath she stops holding in.

Walter lets out a deep sigh, surprising Allison by reaching out for her shoulders and torso to pull her up with him as he stands again, supporting her with an arm around her waist. The wet clothes stick to her even more and she tries to ignore it, almost grateful for being pulled off the cold floor. Allison wants to protest at the hold he has on her, but she has almost nothing left to do so.

“It seems you are just as useless as the rest of them Grayson,” Walter speaks, leaning on his cane with the hand not around Allison’s waist as if this entire interaction has been boring him more than anything else ever has.

“Sir I-” Grayson starts but Walter cuts him off a final time.

“You will not touch my property again, Grayson.”

But something in Walter’s voice and the way he gripped her said Grayson was not in the only one that should be worried.

#whump #whumpwriting #babysfirststory #canewhump #i did not proofread this

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dufferpuffer · 1 day ago

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~crawls out of my mud hole like a bunyip~ Delicious… food… Albus meta...

This is a cool comparison to make - because so much is the same, as OP said. + Albus is trying to keep them on his side. + Harry and Severus have both lost someone dear to them and are going through emotional breakdowns. + They both blame themselves for their losses and both wish for non-existence. + Albus stays carefully controlled while they rage and mourn. + He references 'The Best Of' Severus and Harrys 'Greatest Strength' as being the fact they care deeply.

But I think, with all those similarities... We can distinctly see how these two situations differ.

(Small thing: I don't think Albus suspected Tom was immortal until at LEAST scar-baby with no Voldy-coprse, so it hadn't been kept from Severus. But whatever.)

Make no mistake: Albus is a COLD man. Just about frozen over. + Partially intentional - a lifetime of keeping people away, not trusting anyone with his vulnerabilities. + Partially just… he's always been like that. An outcast, out of step with the rest of the world.

In that section with Severus: His high heel boot is pressing down on Snape's neck. + He explains the situation in short, harsh sentences. + He cuts Snape off. + Offers one way forward with absolutely no comfort, no time to breathe, no understanding or sympathy. + He meets his anguish with harsh, mocking cruelty. + The pace is fast, bouncing between them, barely any descriptive words for Albus' speech other than 'coldly' and 'sighed'.

The only softness, the only 'warmth', is in him saying: “My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?” Even that is manipulative: Agreeing to be obedient is 'the best' of him. It's a joke, really, to call him lifting his boot from choking Severus 'warmth'...

Adding this from a little before - 'coz it's DELICIOUSLY savage:

“I thought… you were going… to keep her… safe…” “She and James put their faith in the wrong person,” said Dumbledore. “Rather like you, Severus. Weren’t you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?” Snape’s breathing was shallow.

...Severus dares to suggest ANY of this guilt sits with Albus and gets his head bitten off for it. Albus shirks responsibility off his own shoulders, slides it onto Severus' by comparing him directly to the betrayer - and then slaps him in the face for being such a moron, hoping Voldemort of all people would do as he asked. Whoever betrayed Lily (Sirius) is nothing compared to him and his foolish folly.

It is VICIOUS how Albus stomps guilt down his throat.

… ... ...

For Harry's section, He is bellowing in anguish too. (More violently but that's not important.) Albus has locked him in his office. He is railroading Harry, giving him one way forward: listen to what he has to say. Be obedient.

But the way he goes about this is so utterly different: (I'm including things omitted from the above point for its brevity - same chapter.)

‘I DON’T CARE!’ Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. ‘I’VE HAD ENOUGH, I’VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON’T CARE ANY MORE -‘ He seized the table on which the silver instrument had stood and threw that, too. It broke apart on the floor and the legs rolled in different directions. ‘You do care,’ said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. ‘You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.’ ‘I - DON’T!’ Harry screamed, so loudly that he felt his throat might tear, and for a second he wanted to rush at Dumbledore and break him, too; shatter that calm old face, shake him, hurt him, make him feel some tiny part of the horror inside himself. ‘Oh, yes, you do,’ said Dumbledore, still more calmly. ‘You have now lost your mother, your father, and the closest thing to a parent you have ever known. Of course you care.’ ‘YOU DON’T KNOW HOW I FEEL!’ Harry roared. ‘YOU- STANDING THERE- YOU-‘ But words were no longer enough, smashing things was no more help; he wanted to run, he wanted to keep running and never look back, he wanted to be somewhere he could not see the clear blue eyes staring at him, that hatefully calm old face. He ran to the door, seized the doorknob again and wrenched at it. But the door would not open. Harry turned back to Dumbledore. ‘Let me out,’ he said. He was shaking from head to foot. ‘No,’ said Dumbledore simply. For a few seconds they stared at each other. ‘Let me out,’ Harry said again. ‘No,’ Dumbledore repeated. ‘If you don’t - if you keep me in here - if you don’t let me -‘ ‘By all means continue destroying my possessions,’ said Dumbledore serenely. ‘I daresay I have too many.’ He walked around his desk and sat down behind it, watching Harry. ‘Let me out,’ Harry said yet again, in a voice that was cold and almost as calm as Dumbledore’s. ‘Not until I have had my say,’ said Dumbledore.

Albus is unflinching, detached. Harry hates how calm he is, he wants to break how calm he is, make him openly feel something for once. Albus is infuriatingly serene, saying things simply, sitting down… encouraging Harry's outburst of emotion. It is Harry that speaks coldly this time - forcing his anguish to be calm and savage rather than hot and roaring.

That is already hugely different from when he spoke to Severus - where he cut him off and mocked him. 'Is this remorse? What use is that to anyone?'

Rather than telling Harry his pain is useless he sympathizes. Deeply. With intricate detail: He knows how it feels to lose your father, mother and close family: It is 'as if you will bleed to death with the pain'. He could have brought up his own experiences up - to try and prove that he does know, that he and Harry are the same in this. But he doesn't. What use would his remorse be? To try and gain sympathy, a defense of himself, at this moment of horror would be grotesquely selfish. He isn't here to defend himself.

‘Do you - do you think I want to - do you think I give a - I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU’VE GOT TO SAY!’ Harry roared. ‘I don’t want to hear anything you’ve got to say!’ ‘You will,’ said Dumbledore steadily. ‘Because you are not nearly as angry with me as you ought to be. If you are to attack me, as I know you are close to doing, I would like to have thoroughly earned it.’ ‘What are you talking -?’ ‘It is my fault that Sirius died,’ said Dumbledore clearly. ‘Or should I say, almost entirely my fault - I will not be so arrogant as to claim responsibility for the whole. Sirius was a brave, clever and energetic man, and such men are not usually content to sit at home in hiding while they believe others to be in danger. Nevertheless, you should never have believed for an instant that there was any necessity for you to go to the Department of Mysteries tonight. If I had been open with you, Harry, as I should have been, you would have known a long time ago that Voldemort might try and lure you to the Department of Mysteries, and you would never have been tricked into going there tonight. And Sirius would not have had to come after you. That blame lies with me, and with me alone.’ Harry was still standing with his hand on the doorknob but was unaware of it. He was gazing at Dumbledore, hardly breathing, listening yet barely understanding what he was hearing. ‘Please sit down,’ said Dumbledore. It was not an order, it was a request.

With Severus - Albus took any guilt off his own shoulders and saddled Severus with it. Used it to pressure him. He does the EXACT opposite here. Everything is put on his own shoulders and the little bit that isn't he frames as a compliment to Sirius' character - not a failing.

+ He guilt-tripped and demanded Severus pay his debt to Lily. He gave him no choice. Severus' obedience would be his best quality. + He requests Harry to sit down and listen while he gives him the truth. Explains his own guilt. Not for sympathy, but because Harry is owed the truth. 'If I had been open with you, Harry, as I should have been…'

Albus is not an open man. he is secretive, distant, cold. But he isn't doing that here. For pages and pages he answers Harry's questions in such detail... I doubt he has told anyone else such a complete account. He likes to keep the whole picture to himself having been bitten by betrayals before… But he tells Harry so much. He answers his yelled, spat and snarled questions calmly - never once 'coldly'.

…And it gets to him. It cracks his calm, unflinching persona. A man who does things 'for the greater good', keeping himself detached from wild emotions to stand steady, act with cold logic:

Dumbledore closed his eyes and buried his face in his long-fingered hands. Harry watched him, but this uncharacteristic sign of exhaustion, or sadness, or whatever it was from Dumbledore, did not soften him. On the contrary, he felt even angrier that Dumbledore was showing signs of weakness. He had no business being weak when Harry wanted to rage and storm at him. Dumbledore lowered his hands and surveyed Harry through his half-moon glasses. ‘It is time,’ he said, ‘for me to tell you what I should have told you five years ago, Harry. Please sit down. I am going to tell you everything. I ask only a little patience. You will have your chance to rage at me - to do whatever you like - when I have finished. I will not stop you.’ [...] ‘Yet there was a flaw in this wonderful plan of mine,’ said Dumbledore. ‘An obvious flaw that I knew, even then, might be the undoing of it all. And yet, knowing how important it was that my plan should succeed, I told myself that I would not permit this flaw to ruin it. I alone could prevent this, so I alone must be strong. And here was my first test, as you lay in the hospital wing, weak from your struggle with Voldemort.’ […] ‘Do you see, Harry? Do you see the flaw in my brilliant plan now? I had fallen into the trap I had foreseen, that I had told myself I could avoid, that I must avoid.’ ‘I don’t -‘ ‘I cared about you too much,’ said Dumbledore simply. ‘I cared more for your happiness than your knowing the truth, more for your peace of mind than my plan, more for your life than the lives that might be lost if the plan failed. In other words, I acted exactly as Voldemort expects we fools who love to act. […] Harry looked up at him and saw a tear trickling down Dumbledore’s face into his long silver beard.

...It is all so out of character for Albus to speak like this. To spend pages not just explaining events and other peoples perspectives - but his own personal thought processes, his own emotions, his own failings and his own plans.

Maybe it's all a manipulative act. He's leaking crocodile tears with big puppy eyes to win Harry's favor, giving him what he wants - knowledge and support - to lure him back to obedience... But that is the exact opposite to how we normally see him manipulate people.

+ Twinkling eyes and small smiles, light silly humor + Mixing making himself seem impressive with self-effacing. + Staying calm and unaffected, as if lightly humored. + Gently pointing people in the direction he wants them to think rather than giving answers outright, risking leaking how he feels and what he knows. (as even seen in the very first chapter of the first book). + A judging use of "So you would even feel X…?", bringing up the concept of 'X' as if he may disagree - but leaving himself free to swing positive or negative, or stay vague. When tensions get higher: + His calm freezing over, becoming cold. + Speech snappy and harsh, insulting and belittling. + Dominating demands, controlling the conversation. + Never revealing more information than is strictly necessary. + Withholding information, even when cruel to do so. + Acting innocent while twisting events to favor him.

He isn't doing ANY of that in this chapter with Harry. And when he does almost, just a little, like the multiple probings of 'do you see now where my plan failed…?' - trying to avoid having to rip himself open and admit his feelings… he does so anyway. Not vague, not tip-toeing: he bites the bullet. He stays calm, yes - but is not unaffected. He cries. He shows weakness Harry has never seen before.

It's not just a one-and-done moment either - from this point on he includes Harry in so much of HBP. He takes him from the Dursleys mere days into Summer (after Harry tells him off here for keeping him 'trapped' like Sirius) and gets his aid in things he tells nobody else about (after saying here how he should have been including him more, like Harry wanted, rather than pushing him away for 'his own safety' when he will be in danger no matter what.) Albus heeds Harry's pain and works to do better. He changes.

He is not as cold and manipulative here as he was to Snape.

Dumbledore's Manipulations: Part 6(?)

I just reread the scene in Deathly Hallows of Dumbledore and Snape on Snape's memories after Lily died, and that entire scene reminded me of the scene at the end of book 5. After Sirius died and Harry was having his breakdown.

Snape breaking down in front of Dumbledore after Lily dies:

“Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans’s eyes, I am sure?” “DON’T!” bellowed Snape. “Gone. . . dead. . . ” “Is this remorse, Severus?” “I wish. . . I wish I were dead. . . ” “And what use would that be to anyone?” said Dumbledore coldly. “If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear.” Snape seemed to peer through a haze of pain, and Dumbledore’s words appeared to take a long time to reach him. “What—what do you mean?” “You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily’s son.” “He does not need protection. The Dark Lord has gone—” “The Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does.” There was a long pause, and slowly Snape regained control of himself, mastered his own breathing. At last, he said, “Very well. Very well. But never—never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear. . . especially Potter’s son. . . I want your word!” “My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?” Dumbledore sighed, looking down into Snape’s ferocious, anguished face. “If you insist. . . ”

(DH, 573)

Harry breaking down in front of Dumbledore after Sirius dies:

“There is no shame in what you are feeling, Harry,” said Dumbledore’s voice. “On the contrary . . . the fact that you can feel pain like this is your greatest strength.” Harry felt the white-hot anger lick his insides, blazing in the terrible emptiness, filling him with the desire to hurt Dumbledore for his calmness and his empty words. “My greatest strength, is it?” said Harry, his voice shaking as he stared out at the Quidditch stadium, no longer seeing it. “You haven’t got a clue. . . . You don’t know . . .” “What don’t I know?” asked Dumbledore calmly. It was too much. Harry turned around, shaking with rage. “I don’t want to talk about how I feel, all right?” “Harry, suffering like this proves you are still a man! This pain is part of being human —” “THEN — I — DON’T — WANT — TO — BE — HUMAN!” [...] “Let me out,” Harry said yet again, in a voice that was cold and almost as calm as Dumbledore’s. “Not until I have had my say,” said Dumbledore. [...] “It meant,” said Dumbledore, “that the person who has the only chance of conquering Lord Voldemort for good was born at the end of July, nearly sixteen years ago. This boy would be born to parents who had already defied Voldemort three times.” Harry felt as though something was closing in upon him. His breathing seemed difficult again. “It means — me?” [...] “I am afraid,” said Dumbledore slowly, looking as though every word cost him a great effort, “that there is no doubt that it is you.”

(OotP, 823)

I just, found these two scenes awfully similar in tone when reading the one in Deathly Hallows last night.

In both Snape/Harry are in emotional turmoil after the most important person to them dies. Both feel like dying (Snape: "I wish I were dead", Hary: "then I don't want to be human"). Both shout at Dumbledore when he speaks all too calmly of things they don't want/need to hear at that moment.

And Dumbledore speaks calmly and coldly to both of them, revealing information he hid from them both (to Snape he tells about Voldemort's immortality, to Harry he tells about the Prophecy) before guilting them through their grief into what he needs them to do.

Now, I'm not exactly blaming him, because, from his position, he needs Snape as a spy and he needs Harry to be willing to do anything to kill Voldemort — to take Voldemort as his responsibility. Dumbledore needs these things to happen to have the best chance of completing his plan to defeat Voldemort.

I just, can't help but note how cold it is. How cold and manipulative Dumbledore can be when he feels he needs to be. Even as he explains his care for Harry as a flaw in his plan, he speaks calmly and simply. And he is right caring about Harry is a flaw, because he always planned for Harry to die. He knew since he saw the scar on Harry's forehead:

“I guessed, fifteen years ago,” said Dumbledore, “when I saw the scar upon your forehead, what it might mean. I guessed that it might be the sign of a connection forged between you and Voldemort.”

(OotP, 826)

And even if I think Dumbledore is honest in that he'd rather Harry wouldn't die, I don't think he cares for him as much as he says he does. In the same way, he's very cold towards Snape even years later when he tells him Harry must die. (I don't think Snape and Dumbledore are actually friends)

Idk, I just read the scene in DH with Snape and it really reminded me of the scene with Harry at the end of OotP.

#hp #albus dumbledore #tag for old man defense #hp meta

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acourtofquestions · 15 days ago

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Rowaelin Chapter 41 Kingdom of Ash:

She'd rebuild it—what she had been.

Perhaps one last time, perhaps only for a little while, but she'd do it. If only for Terrasen.

Rowan swooped from the mast, shifting as he reached her side at the rail. He surveyed the night-black sea beyond them. "You should rest." She slid him a glance. "I'm not tired." Not a lie, not in some regards. "Want to spar?" He frowned. "Training can start tomorrow."

"Or tonight." She held his piercing stare, matched his dominance with her own.

"It can wait a few hours, Aelin."

"Every day counts." Against Erawan, even a day of training would count.

Rowan's jaw tightened. "True," he said at last. "But it can still wait. There are ... there are things we need to discuss." The silent words rose in his animal-bright eyes. About you and me.

Her mouth went dry. But Aelin nodded In silence, they strode into their spacious quarters, its only decoration the wall of windows that overlooked the churning sea behind them. A far cry from a queen's chamber, or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin.

At least the bed built into the wall looked clean enough, the sheets crisp and stainless. But Aelin headed for the oak desk anchored to the floor, and leaned against it while Rowan shut the door.

In the dim lantern light, they stared at each other.

She'd endured Maeve and Cairn; she'd endured Endovier and countless other horrors and losses. She could have this conversation with him. The first step toward rebuilding herself.

Aelin knew Rowan could hear her thundering heart as the space between them went taut. She swallowed once. "Elide and Lorcan told you... told you everything that was said on that beach."

A curt nod, wariness flooding his eyes. "Everything that Maeve said." Another nod.

She braced herself. "That I'm-we're mates."

Understanding and something like relief replaced that wariness. "Yes."

"I'm your mate," she said, needing to voice it. "And you are mine."

Rowan crossed the room, but halted a few feet from the desk on which she leaned. "What of it, Aelin?" His question was low, rough.

"Don't you..." She scrubbed at her face. "You know what she did to you, to ..." She couldn't say her name. Lyria. "Because of it."

"I do know."

"And?"

"And what do you wish me to say?"

She pushed off the desk. "I wish you to tell me how you feel about it. If…"

"If what?"

"If you wish it wasn't so."

His brows narrowed. "Why would I ever wish that?"

She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea.

It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was.

"Aelin." His voice turned hoarse. "Aelin."

She looked at him then, at the pain in his words.

"Do you know what I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked. "I wish that you had told me. When you realized it. I wish you had told me then."

She swallowed against the ache in her throat. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"

"I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how it was possible. I thought maybe ... maybe you might be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just ….." She blew out a breath. "I didn't want you to be distressed." His eyes softened. "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve's game was her life, and the life of the child we might have had? Yes. I regret that, and I wish it had never happened." He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days. "But none of that was your fault. I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve's hands."

"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to me, though."

"Then it is her choice, not yours."

Aelin ran a hand over the worn wood of the desk. "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others." The words were strained, but she forced them out. Forced herself to look at him. "She spun me one dreamscape that felt so real I could smell the wind off the Staghorns."

"What did she show you?" A breathless question.

Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew."

She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."

His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"

She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything." He extended his hand. An offer and invitation.

Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you."

She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face.

"I know you are tired, Fireheart. I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure." He took their joined hands and laid them on his heart. "But we'll face this together. Erawan, the Lock, all of it.

"We'll face it together. And when we are done, when you Settle, we will have a thousand years together. Longer."

A small sound came out of her. "Elena said the Lock requires—"

"We'll face it together," he swore again.

"And if the cost of it truly is you, then we'll pay it together. As one soul in two bodies.

Her heart strained to the point of cleaving. "Terrasen needs a king."

"I have no intention of ruling Terrasen without you. Aedion can have the job."

She scanned his face. He meant every word He brushed the hair from her face, his other hand still clasping hers to his chest, where his heart pounded a steady, unfaltering rhythm.

"Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."

She felt the truth of his words echo into the unbreakable thing that bound their very souls, and tilted her face up toward his. But he made no move beyond it.

She frowned. "Why aren't you kissing me?"

"I thought you might want to be asked first."

"That never stopped you before."

"This first time, I wanted to make sure you were ... ready." After Cairn and Maeve. After months of having no choices whatsoever.

She smiled despite that truth. "I'm ready to be kissed again, Prince."

He let out a dark chuckle and muttered, "Thank the gods," before he lowered his mouth to hers.

"You're my mate." Her words were a breathless rush. "And I am yours."

The world might have been burning around them for all she cared, all he cared, too.

"Together, Aelin," he promised, and she heard the rest of the words in every place their bodies joined. Together they would face this, together they would find a way.

Together we'll find a way, their mingling breaths, the crashing sea, seemed to echo.

Together.

#Chapter 41 #Kingdom of Ash #Sarah J. Maas #Aelin Galathynius #Rowan Whitethorn #Rowaelin #soulmates #mates #spoilers and notes in tags cause this chapter and also spoilers in post cause this chapter first read react with me read along #Rowaelin chapters scenes moments quotes #they want to make it possible bring that love to light #am I allowed to cry? — Again the word endured — finally the dream — the sand she still sees — he’s magic being steady — them talking time #again if Maeve could convince Rowan Lyria was his mate how bad was it when she convinced Aelin her actual mate was dead… this hurts me…#the fact Aelin stopped being useful because it destroyed her beyond belief but the dreams the dreams almost got her because its all she wan #again then both feeling sorry and the other not realizing and then consent and then comfort and love & I just wanted it2be U how could I no #I know you are tired Fireheart (ALL THE TROPES IN ONE LINE… UGH I MISSED THIS SHIP)#together. one soul in two bodies. their endgame like literally they are. I’d choose you too. even the apologies that were needed just heali #what it might have once been — together — not alone — not returning alone — the king and queen of Terrasen — I need u more — 2 whatever end #Aelin watched the boat until it disappeared trying not to stare too long at the clean unstained sand beneath her boots #always north — she didn’t care she just wanted far away — who knew — what she knew-the letters she sent-Valg-dark blood that had turned red #If it had been another dreamscape or some fragment that had blended into the very real memory of Connall's death. — always a plab&theory #all these things to deal with later-she’d rebuild all she had been-her match helper mirror-matched his piercing stare with her own-wait/res #A far cry from a queen's chamber or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin. — how far we’ve come-she had ENDURED she can do it #I'm your mate she said needing to voice it. And you are mine. — Lyria. — I do know. and?&what do you wish me to say?-this was perfect #If what? If you wish it wasn't so. His brows narrowed. Why would I ever wish that? — Aelin. she looked at him at the pain in his words #the way it's changed since Mistward... and grown... even in names like Whitethorn Galathynius together — the brain thoughts are back —#The kiss was gentle-light. Letting her decide how to guide it. So she did. — he’d do it all night if that was what’s he wished #Together we'll find a way their mingling breaths the crashing sea seemed to echo. Together. — mountains and oceans #Might’ve been before-thought snapped-the bond- u r my mate&I am urs-the world might have been burning for all she cared all he cared too #Together they would face this together they would find a way. — claiming him as he claimed her — a scar a marker a tattoo

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offlinevirgo · 3 days ago

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i think i hate that election time is this day specifically because it’s really weird to be simultaneously grappling with all the feelings of having an abortion a year ago and the terror of that right being taken away

#mourning the potential loss of the most traumatic thing to ever happen to me #odd feeling #i was told once #by my best friend after she pulled me out of bed after my abortion while i was skipping work #that doing the only thing i could possibly manage to keep my baby safe makes me a mom even if it didn’t result in a baby #and man #man #that’s a weird concept #that even though there’s no baby by my own volition i could still be considered a mom #also weirdly validating #because even though it was my choice it still feels like the first anniversary of my moms death #it’s extremely sucks that i can’t talk about how much this hurt me because i chose it #even though there is a large part of me that wishes it had just died on its own #because i loved that thing more than anything i have ever loved #i felt it from the moment they had me in that dimmed room and the tiniest little dot appeared on the wall #and suddenly my entire world was the size of a little teensy orange seed #and it will forever feel wrong once i have a baby in front of me #to call it my first #because how can i forget that month where my entire universe revolved around a different baby #because the thing is it’s not a baby #it for all intents and purposes is not but for me and a lot of women it is #because women don’t want abortions like they want a porsche or a fancy purse!#they want abortions like an animal caught in a trap wants to gnaw off its own leg!!#they want abortions because they would bring a child into a world with an abusive father who would never let them know a moments peace #they want abortions because they love this stupid tiny blur on a black and white picture so much it causes them genuine gut wrenching terror #to imagine the life their dad would subject them to for what? like 60 years?#my first lesson in motherhood. i want you more than life itself but that would make you miserable #so i have to stop your pain before it ever stops even if that hurts me more than i can ever say

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yuriyuruandyuraart · 1 year ago

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Opinions on Dream? :^

SO many feelings about him omgg rant under cut please forgive me

okay so i don't really talk or draw him much cause honestly,,,most of the times i just think he's a bit....boring? or more accurately plain? not in a mean way either but just in a 'fades into the background' type of way like don't get me wrong!! he's a really nice friend to his peers, his feelings about his powers and aura making his relationships harder to navigate and trust along with his whole conflict with nightmare and morality about what's good and bad IS very cool!! and i love it whenever they write him to be complex and not on this black and white mentality or when he's just straight up following along his friends with no free will or with a dubious purpose without ever addressing his issues or feelings! it's just unsatisfying to me :')

or when they're making him the 'naive' and oblivious, (sometimes childish?) character being marked as the obstacle and villain along with the other star sanses from the fic's pov, always talking about doing good things while fighting his brother and not hearing him out about the balance, (and for weak reasons most of the time. like it's been so long and you STILL haven't sat down with him when he's, generally, basically begged you to just have a talk? guys please :'( ) or when they go for the victim sad dream always missing the old nightmare, where corrupted nightmare is the incarnation of evil, with no sympathy or emotion except anger and sadistic glee, killing and hurting everyone and dream's just trying to protect the multiverse and dream's always been in the right. such extremes!!!

LIKE!! i hope i'm not the only one that thinks a 500+ year old should have had enough time to idk. learn things? about people and manipulation and deceit? after knowing what the villagers did to night? about the bad things in the world and how there's a lot of grey areas in life and that he maybe reflected on his past enough to process and ask himself if there should to be a convo to settle his differences with nightmare (and you can make nightmare the stubborn one too! or have them BOTH be petty and imperfect and have some things wrong and some right at the same time like why do i always see the good guy vs bad guy cliché with these two when they're the perfect example of why positivity doesn't have meaning without the negativity!! as long as there's a satisfying evolution or growth that doesn't leave me empty i'm good yknow?)

plus i believe dream really isn't as dumb as people view him. i do get some of you saying he probably can't read or write since that's actually a pretty interesting idea to explore! but in general please let him have emotions other than pure sunshiny happiness or endless sadness like he's gotta have more depth than that! let him make mistakes, have flaws that don't just make him the bad guy that's always in the wrong by default, and be angry or suspicious or jealous or bitter or battling his mental health problems/depression or malicious or smart or witty or mischievous and silly or sarcastic or ANYTHING dude i just want him to be put into different scenarios where he can be serious or lighthearted like it doesn't even have to be long or perfect but make him feel real.

it could definitely be that i don't read or see much art about dream or really look for it hard enough but also i just. i feel bad for even saying this fr and i wanna be honest about why i don't enjoy most stories about him cause he always gets the worst treatment along with ink!!! especially ink omg the poor guy has it the worst i think like wow do they mess him up :'(

always one dimensional in non shippy fics, or too plain or easily replaceable by other, more entertaining people in the significant other's life in most of his ships like man. i have read fics out there that made me genuinely FEEL and root for him and love his character so much it restored all hope for me!!! but i can only name one on top of my head and the others? it's been so long i don't even remember their names i just legit feel terrible cause i love him still and i can't find many headcanons that fit my interpretation of him yknow?

not to say people who write him very happy, mislead or sad are ruining him like that's silly- if i see something i don't like i just. move on bro i wouldn't force people to feel or think the same way i do about him cause anyone can have whatever headcanons they want!!! just talking about what i personally look for in him and why i can't exactly find it since most of the stuff out there just isn't my cup of tea :')

hopefully i didn't set anyone off with this rambling opinionated essay i just pulled hhh xD i know i know he's a popular character and i know a lot of people like dream so *sobs* please please recommend me artists and fics about him that you think is good it's been so looong since i've read or seen anything new that makes me attached to this little guy aughg<33333

#ask #rambling #delete later?#probably xD i just wanna love him SO much but sometimes he's just *sigh*...forgettable #i tried to explain myself but also it's like 4 am and i skimmed through the proofreading so don't take this too seriously HHH #like really even when i do read good fics about him he's not on the forefront of my mind and it's painful to me :'(#i used to see him as my third fav but now? ever since i've read and seen characters who get heavier more in depth plots?#i can't say it with as much confidence :') and dream lovers out there i am not bashing your choice or even your headcanons #to each their own but i really wanna hear someone be passionate about him in my feed or askbox like TELL me about him #i've seen ink rants out there that are FIRE like so true!!! but where's the dream defense team???#maybe it's just me tho :') btw i still like cream but not the same way as before if i'm being real #it feels the same...all of it and it makes me wanna bite something ARGHGG #i know i know i ship some stuff that's basic too hhh but dream and cross are always written the same and dream is too innocent #and nightmare is too weird in some of these fics like if MY brother ever tried to literally attack my hypothetical partner????#i wouldn't give him the :'((( sad face and weakly tell him to 'please stop...you're hurting him'' like NO girl they're TWINS #they're the same age i would tell him to BACK off and not insert himself in my love life after years of ignoring and fighting LIKE #especially since most of the time cross is actually good to dream and all- so he doesn't have a good reason to disrupt his bro's dates #UGH i just have so many opinions but basically i would love him a lot lot more than i do now if they also let him be more flexible #and shake things up like with shattered and stuff! gimme alternate versions of him even if it's too ooc like we do for all the other sanses #jaa i am SO sorry you had to read all that dude thank you so much for passing by :'D

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mbat · 7 days ago

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dude it is way too early for this, someone just told me to kill myself over something i literally dont know anything about

#'youre sending people to harass me!' i dont have the power to do anything let alone that + i havent thought about you in a long time #why would i bother #now im just curious who was even harassing them but they blocked me before i could ask #youre so classy telling me to kill myself and then blocking me before i can reply. very mature of you #this wasnt on tumblr btw idek if they have a tumblr and idc #if theyre stalking my social media thats just weird on their part #'i hope you stop burdening your family' well i hope you stop burdening yourself. you sound miserable and you always have. go to therapy.#stop hurting other people just to make yourself feel better even though all it does is give you temporary satisfaction and long term pain #fucking weirdo. we left our friendship on an argument because you NEVER let yourself be wrong even about things you knew nothing about #you wanna see me shit talking you publically? this is that i fucking guess #tell me i dont know anything about relationships because i only ever dated one person as if that person didnt leave me with trauma #that im still unpacking almost a decade later? fuck off.#at least im not marked red on shinigami eyes and have 'too right leaning for twitter to handle' in my twitter bio. thats fucking embarassing #fucking weird asshole. that entire friend group we were part of was ridiculous #the only person from there i EVER shit talked was someone else and they deserve it for being a pedo.#but i dont care to harass anyone because it does nothing for me #it only works to hurt me and im sick of being in pain. im sick of being miserable and lonely and stuck with memories of wrongdoing #i told you im in therapy and went back to school and that means im moving on and you decided that meant i should kms #fuck off. i hope you DONT kill yourself so you can come to the conclusion that you need to change for the better and work towards that goal #instead of being the same 'i can never be wrong!' ex-mean girl weirdo that led to me and everyone else dropping you as a friend #because all you did was make us mad with your behavior #and apparently not changing a single bit in the TWO WHOLE YEARS since i last saw you. grow up. we are both old enough to legally drink.#so grow the fuck up.#my post #ignore me #SERIOUSLY fucking ignore this post #vent #personal

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ddejavvu · 2 months ago

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Cant stop thinking about Logan bending Wades darling little sister (in her 20s) over the kitchen table while Waded out on a mission. That is all I can think about right now

Insatiable - Logan Howlett x Reader

send me logan requests!

contents/warnings: smut, minors dni. age gap (legal; reader is in her 20's, logan is like... 200 years old.), wilson!reader, dirty talk, slight breeding mentioned

The only reason you're able to do it in the kitchen is because Wade isn't home, and you'd managed to shut the door on his pathetically endearing little dog. Mary Puppins is probably tearing up Wade's poor excuse for a comforter right now, and Logan is tearing up- well.

You.

Your pussy.

You're bent so far over the counter that your tits are cold, your nipples stiff and sensitive against the countertop. The pressure against them hurts, or maybe it's a lack of other stimulation against them- either way, they're stinging and you wish to right yourself and tug mercilessly at them.

But Logan's weight- not the full load, or you'd be crushed - is holding you down, your hands scrabbling uselessly at the smooth counter for purchase that you'll never find as you're rocked steadily into the cabinets below.

Logan's cock is buried so deep inside of you that you're not sure he'll ever get it out again, but then he does, and then he thrusts back in and you're hit all over again with a sense of shit, I didn't know I went that deep. He's found your limit, stretched your cunt to the breaking point with his impressive length, and his facial hair tickles the side of your face as he takes your cunt from behind.

Your face smacks painfully against the cabinets over the counter and Logan reaches a hand up to cover your forehead, "Shit, be careful. Head down, honey, there you go. Wouldn't want Big Brother finding an imprint of your face in the wood."

"Whaddya think he'd say?" Logan's suddenly snickering, a gruff delight to his voice as he rams his cock inside you once more, thrusting at a steady, merciless pace, "Shit, if he knew my old ass had his sweet little sister pinned up against the counter..."

Wade would kill him. Or try valiantly to, as it's been established before by Wade's best efforts that Logan is one difficult motherfucker to kill. But you don't fancy a bloodbath even if the vessel will survive, so you tuck yourself tight to the counter so that you won't have to explain to Wade why the cupboard door is off its hinges.

Leaning forwards more only pushes your ass out further, and Logan groans, dick twitching, as he's able to thrust more viciously beneath the curve of your ass. He's humping you like a dog, a depraved pace set as he chases an impending orgasm.

"Taking you in your brother's house- aagh, shit," Logan grunts, nose nudging against the back of your neck as he inhales your sweat, "God he's gonna drop his swords on this fucking counter as soon as he walks through the door, not- not even gonna know your tits were smashed up against it. He's gonna get coke from that cabinet in an hour," Logan's voice is strained, moreso the faster he pumps his hips, and all you can do is cry out as he ravages your cunt, "He's never gonna know I made his sister cream up against it. Never gonna know I fucked my fuckin' babies into you here, aah- agh-I-!"

Logan bites, hard against your shoulder, catching some of your neck in the process and introducing yet another blindingly painful sensation that turns into sick, twisted pleasure between your legs. Your cunt is spent, barely capable of another orgasm after you'd already had two fucked out of you before, but it gives you its best shot as Logan's thick, warm cum gushes into you, immediately too much for your poor pussy to handle as it drips down your thighs instead.

Logan relinquishes your shoulder with a low groan, his breath coming hot and heavy as he pants, "You alright?"

"Yeah," You whimper, legs shaking as Logan holds you steady, "I- I don't think I can stand anymore."

"That's okay." Logan hums, gentler now that he's fucked himself calm. He peels you off of the counter, supporting your body weight as he half-walks, half-drags you down the hallway towards his bedroom, "Next round's on my bed, sweetheart. You won't need to move a muscle."

#logan howlett x reader #logan howlett imagine #logan howlett fluff #logan howlett fanfiction #logan howlett smut #logan howlett x you #logan howlett blurb #logan howlett drabble #logan howlett oneshot #wolverine x reader #wolverine imagine #wolverine smut

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sttoru · 10 months ago

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·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. thinking about true form!sukuna having a huge size kink (+ corruption kink).

word count. 2.6k

note. super self-indulgent. cant rlly blame me for creating this. also do you see those big ass hands in the header i used? yeah.. says enough (this sucks ass)

tags. dom heian era!sukuna x concubine!female reader. smut. porn with plot. size kink / size difference (reader gets referred to as ‘short’ & ‘small’). p in v -> unprotected. degradation. corruption kink (reader gets referred to as ‘naive’, 'shy' & innocent’-looking). tummy bulging. loss of virginity mention. hymen breaking mention. cervix fucking, ouch. lots of teasing. tiny bit of choking. tiny mention of blood tasting ? idk. hint at anal / double penetration. dirty talk. sukuna has two of everything btw mehehe. reader get called ‘woman, brat, slut, little'.

sukuna is intrigued by you. he’s always been, since the moment he’s laid his eyes upon you. your loyalty and devotion to him are two aspects that the king of curses likes most about you. .

. . after your innocence.

it nearly irked him. every time he saw you hanging around the estate without a single care in the world. sukuna would attempt to intimidate you with serious threats. he’d loom over your short stature and look down at you with a malicious glint in his eyes. though, none of it seemed to work.

you'd only bow your head at him and apologise if you’ve caused him any possible inconveniences. it annoyed the sorcerer. you weren’t trembling in fear like all the others would — it was like there was nothing going on in that head of yours. especially when you smile at him. which no one actually dares to do.

sukuna could crush you. with no effort. one big hand would be enough to pick your entire body up, lift you in the air and throw you around like a ragdoll. you don’t seem to fear the possibility of that happening, even when being faced with a pissed off sukuna.

it’s truly intriguing and amusing. that’s why sukuna kept you around every day — as a form of entertainment, he called it. one thing led to the other and you eventually ended up as one of his concubines. the king of curses himself decided to grant you that promotion.

why? because not only does your fragile body, reserved and polite personality and innocence secretly fascinate him — it also makes him crave you. crave to shatter that naivety of yours. to take that small body of yours and make it feel what it means to be overpowered by a man twice your size.

sukuna does not regret his decision to make you his concubine. the first night you spent together was one of the best nights he had ever had. in all his many years of living. not a single woman had ever succeeded in blowing his mind when it came to sex.

it was usually boring and repetitive for the sorcerer. he felt nothing for those women he’s had in bed before — it was solely for the fact of satisfying himself. though, that changed on the day you had given him your virginity.

he remembers every detail; from your little noises of both pain and pleasure, your tight and untouched pussy that bled faintly when the fat tip of his lower cock pushed through, your nails that dug into his arms and back, your thighs that he held to your chest, his large hands that could easily wrap around the fat of them, your aching cunt that was left spasming around air as it tried to keep his sticky cum stored in place.

sukuna didn’t think your tears would affect him as much. when he took your virginity and you whimpered in pain — he did feel a twinge of guilt. it was strange; he hadn’t felt that emotion before. he had stopped and wiped your tears away. roughly whispered some words of encouragement too.

he had never done so before. never. he had never told anyone how ‘good’ they were for him. how he’d be ‘careful’ to not make it hurt any more. the king of curses recalls vividly how slow he started with you. slow sex. instead of rough like he’s used to.

sukuna wasn’t chasing after his own pleasure in that moment like he’d usually have. his main priority was to make sure the girl below him was comfortable enough to continue. you’re strange. the things you make him do, say and feel are strange. and yet. . .

it was an amazing night. the best. however sukuna was left behind with an insatiable hunger for you. more, more, more. he can’t grasp it yet; why he longs for you. for those feelings he’s suddenly capable of experiencing during intimate moments.

it’s why he calls for you every night. no other concubine was needed after you were made one. the king of curses couldn’t care less about those other women. they are boring to him.

unlike you. the one he’s sure that he won’t ever get bored of.

“you can take me so well now,” sukuna breathes out. one of his cocks was inches deep inside you, bulbous tip painfully hitting your cervix. over the past few weeks, your body had learnt to adjust to him, your pussy molded to fit the shape of his dick.

sukuna looks down at you and his cocks twitch with the urge to release already. his heavy balls clenching. your fucked out state is adorable. you seemed so.. vulnerable underneath the big man, “what a fragile little thing.”

it almost sounded condescending. degrading. especially with sukuna’s lips being curled up into a mean grin, his sharp canines showing. there was a puddle of your cum forming underneath your hips — staining the sheets that the poor servants have to clean by tomorrow morning.

“p-please, fngh, ‘s too big,” you sputter out. no matter how many times you took sukuna in, your smaller body couldn’t quite fully accommodate to the girth of him. every time he hits your deepest parts, you let out a painful whimper.

sukuna kisses his teeth, though slows his thrusts a bit. the wet sounds of his cum and yours getting pushed in and out of your cunt with each move was too addicting. what sukuna loves most is the view of the skin of your lower abdomen swelling and stretching each time he pushes forward.

“i thought you said you’d take both of my cocks today, yet it seems like you can’t even handle one,” the king of curses sighs whilst belittling you. one set of hands is holding you down by your hips, the other set is fondling your stiff nipples and circling your sensitive clit, “what a pity. a real pity.”

you almost choke on your spit as all your sensitive spots were being fondled. sukuna’s thick fingers leave no place untouched as he increases the tempo again—his cock plunging in and out of your stretched hole. the upper one was twitching, rubbing against your clit and lower abdomen.

sukuna harshly grabs your jaw and makes you look up at him after he hears you apologise for making empty promises. he seems satisfied with you staying so polite. even when he’s practically rearranging your guts. the way you talk through your soft sobs and cries is endearing. makes him grin wickedly.

“i don’t want to break my favourite little concubine yet, you see,” sukuna continues. he lets out a grunt of pleasure when your pussy clenches around his thick cock. no matter how many times he fucks you dumb, you still remain as tight as the first time.

he takes in a deep breath. he’s trying his best not to pound you into the mattress. he’d fold you in half and probably break you like the fragile thing you are. he could snap you like a twig if he wasn’t careful, “. . .but you’re making it very difficult for me.”

you respond by apologising again. oh, how cute it was to see you babble and make up excuses. sukuna grits his teeth, jaw clenching as he resists the urge to go harder on you. you’re already squirming and moaning loudly just because he’s fucking you hard and deep—bruising your cervix and forcing your walls to open up to him.

“‘m sorry, wanna take both.” you hiccup and sniffle. tears ran down your cheeks from overstimulation. it felt so good yet so painful to be taken by the person you admire most. you didn’t want to displease him, so you uttered those hopeless yet needy sentences again.

sukuna stops his movements when you weakly ask him to use both of his cocks on you. he scoffs, not knowing where you gained the confidence from. he pulls out of your dripping cunt, leaving a trail of cum connecting both your genitalia.

“‘wanna take both,’ she says,” sukuna mocks you under his breath. it’s getting worse; he’s nearing the point of no return. especially with your desperate whines that were like music to his ears, “you’ll break, woman.”

two of his hands move to stroke along his lengths, smearing the mixture of body fluids all over them. his eyes glare down at your small form—already fucked out, yet aching to continue. needing the full experience for once.

you always turn from a shy girl to a complete slut whenever he has you in bed. sukuna loves it.

“i want to try at the very least,” you mutter. it’s true that you’re exhausted. you’re catching your breath now that you got the chance, tired eyes glancing up at sukuna’s enormous stature between your legs, his defined muscles and the tattoos on them glistening under the faint light of the oil lamp.

it got your pussy throbbing and clamping down around air. you felt a bit light headed and your head lolls back against the pillow, eyes glazed over as you try to seem determined. but your body was tired.

“yeah? how. . . cute,” sukuna grins. he knows you can’t. not today at least. he doesn’t mind if you aren’t capable of taking him fully since you’ve already pleased him well enough for now. though, he still can’t help but tease you—make it seem like he’s going to give you what you want, “all right. don’t say i didn’t warn you.”

your eyes widen and your fingers curl around the silky bedsheets beneath you in anticipation. your heart is pounding in your chest as you watch sukuna pump his two cocks a bit faster, squeezing the base a bit, leaking some pre.

it’s all just for show.

“i’m not stopping. even if you scream.” the king of curses warns you with a dangerous glint in his eyes. you gulp at the terrifying aura sukuna was emitting. one of his tips teases your entrance whilst the other probes and circles around your anus.

he threatens you again, testing if you’ll back down, “last chance. i’m not pulling out once i’m in, do y’hear me?”

you keep being stubborn until the very last second. sukuna’s deep voice that shook you to your core was not enough to make you change your mind. you were so desperate to fulfill his every need and make sure that he was satisfied. it made you the perfect woman in his eyes.

the king of curses is completely amused. he decides to take it up a notch. he pushes his lower cock against the tight ring of muscles, pressing and nearly allowing the tip to move in. the sudden increase in pressure is torturous. you surely wouldn’t be able to withstand the entire thing.

“w-wait!” you squeal in surprise and pain. the sting you felt made you snap back into reality. it’s when you realised that maybe you needed more time and experience to take both of sukuna’s dicks. you squirm your hips away, “can’t. i can’t.. hurts too much.”

sukuna nearly rolls his eyes once you finally give in. he shakes his head with a sigh, feigning disapproval and annoyance. he pulls his entire body away from yours—a ominous shadow casted over his eyes. it makes you think that he’s pissed off at you; for being unable to please him.

you panic a little. even if you are sure sukuna wouldn’t ever hurt you. you know he favours you over the other concubines. you don’t want to lose that position.

“i’m sorry.” you apologise before the sorcerer could say anything. he lets out a sharp breath, rough hands back on your body, kneading your flesh gently yet firmly. his eyes take in the view of you trembling.

it’s unreal. you are half his size—completely vulnerable underneath him. he’d normally call people like you weak and useless. wouldn’t feel a thing for them. but your naked body below his is a sight he wishes to see every night.

it turns sukuna on so much. the fact that you are helpless and don’t complain when you’re struggling to take one of his cocks gets him going each time.

“tsk. what’d i tell you?” sukuna grumbles. he slaps his lower cock firmly against your clit. your body responds by closing your thighs together, though the king of curses pries them apart again, “stop overestimating yourself, brat.”

he isn’t actually mad. it was expected—of course you couldn’t take both at once. he didn’t even prep your other hole enough. plus you are clearly still exhausted from the previous rounds. sukuna just likes to. . . test and take advantage of your devotion to him. your obedience and desires to please him.

it’s fascinating to see you squirm and apologise in that whiny voice of yours. it makes him grin from ear to ear. and it keeps things fun.

before you could mutter excuses again, sukuna stops you by leaning in. just when you thought you’d finally get to kiss him, he goes to bite down on your bottom lip. a moan slips out of your mouth which only spurs him on to bite down harder.

you could feel the devilish smirk on sukuna against your lip. his wet tongue cleans up the tiny drop of blood that escaped the wound. he lets out a low hum in approval at the taste. delicious as always.

“now, how should i punish my little concubine for being unable to keep her word?” sukuna whispers in a serious tone. it sends shivers down your spine, his hot breath traveling from your jaw to your right ear. he slowly licks your earlobe, “what do you say? any ideas?”

the tension in the room was palpable. your heart was stammering in your throat from the proximity between the two of you. you gather the courage to answer as sukuna’s fingers curl around your neck, squeezing your throat as if forcing the answer out of you.

“i-i’ll do anything, sir.” you reply through a shaky breath. the king of curses pulls back after he’s got a response from you. your eyes meet his and that’s when you know that you’ve either greatly pleased him or have given him the chance to go all out on you.

it’s probably both.

“anything, you say?” sukuna repeats slowly. without a warning, he effortlessly flips you over on your stomach, a set of hands pulling your ass up by your hips whilst the other set holds your upper body down on the mattress.

a harsh grip on the back of your head results into you whimpering. your face was mushed into a pillow, almost leaving no place to breathe. your back is placed in the perfect arch with your plump ass facing up. it’s one of sukuna’s favourite positions to do with you — especially because it makes you seem smaller than you already are.

“heh. i’ll make you regret saying that.” sukuna chuckles. a low, evil and wicked chuckle. that’s enough to make you realise that he was not going easy on you. your submission had greatly impressed the king of curses and he's taking advantage of it. again.

what would come next could be a reward for that said submission. he’s going to fuck your brains out and make you forget about everything else except for his dick. a night you won’t ever forget as long as you live—that’s a possibility.

or perhaps you’re going to be crying and begging him to go easy on you. a punishment for not being able to keep your promise. that could also happen.

anyway, you’re about to find out which one it is.

#sttoru writes.#jjk smut #jjk x reader #sukuna smut #sukuna x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #female reader

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