#so i hate that my online presence is always something like this

[koko2unite]

hmm feeling a little upset today again but what's new lol

[arcadia345]

❃Astrology observations❃

Masterlist

Not a real astrologer just my observations:)

❃ Aquarius moon femmes tend to be more masculine/tomboyish whether it be their personality or fashion sense they prefer loose fitting clothes. They have this nonchalantness/offstandish energy about them, they also are very sensitive and receptive to energies around them esp after one on one interactions but surprisingly do very well w online interactions💀they could feel like their personality shines brighter online than irl

❃ 12th ruler in 7th natal partners could have animosity towards you esp if you prefer men they tend to have secret intentions/lives

❃ Sagittarius in your natal chart is where you tell the best stories, and gemini can show where others ask for advice/tell their best stories to you(and lowkey try to impress you)

♐︎ in 1st -you ARE the story, there’s never a dull moment ,so many memories are made w you, many stories where you had to be reminded that your that GIRL/GUY✨ (esp by your guides)

♐︎ in 8th- they articulate their trauma very well, the ones that talk openly about their abuse, lots of near-death stories, surgery stories that they almost didn’t make it out of, thieving stories

♐︎ in 11th- the type to bring their friends into every situation/story, most likely to do the best story time vids online, their stories can be eye opening for the collective, people love when they predict the future, stories about the future/goals of humanity, evolution stories, stories about you gaining independence(just like 1st)

♐︎ in 12th- they love to hear about your dreams and conspiracies, they love when you talk about your insecurities and spill your own secrets, your paranormal experiences and things about past lives

♊︎ in 2nd- they love to tell you how hard they work for their assets, “You know I haven’t told anyone this but I feel like I can trust you.” They don’t mind telling you about their illegal activities, people have a tendency to think you took something from them, they come to you for advice on how to approach situations

♊︎ in 5th- the type to have kids come up to them and all their parents business (4th house also), the best childhood memory stories, people try to impress you w their sex stories , they come to you for advice on sex and love matters also, asking for your opinion w fashion & aesthetics, you make them want to try new things🥵

❃ Taurus in the 3rd/4th find it hard to leave their family/home

Cancer risings (4°16°28°) their face and body fluctuate through life but their faces tend to get rounder/fuller as they age

❃ Sending love out to Venus in Pisces/12th house natals y’all are what fairytales are made of🥺 just being in your presence is healing even tho they feel sometimes their deepness and devotion isn’t reciprocated at times idk who needed to hear this but your loving energy transcends the physical barriers you could do a lot of energy work on the other side w/o even realizing it esp while sleeping🧡

❃ I feel bad for Chloe because w that Gemini mars baby everybody always gonna think you doing too much😭 unti you don’t do enough & they’ll still be mad

Finding out Lil uzi has a Gemini mars sent me💀 it reminds of them vids of their security guard trying to keep up w them while they jump all over the place🕺🏽

❃ Sag moon children mom was in her hoe phase when u were conceived. Partying/traveling/drinking/learning was prominent for her at the time

Venus in natal can show you why others envy you

♀ in 2nd- they envy how consistently you upkeep yourself, they see how much money you put into yourself to look good, they hate how materially abundant you are, how easily you make money from your talents/assets, they envy your sugar daddy/baby energy

♀ in 4th- they envy how abundant your family/ancestry is, they envy your mom/your motherly skills, how easily you make a house feel like home, how rich your inner world is, your decoration sense, how easily you’ll be remembered after passing/leaving home, how easily you make money from home

♀ in 8th- they envy how easily others trust you esp w their money & possessions, how beautifully you shed your skin in transformations, sugarbaby placement, how magnetic you are, how easily people become obsessed w you, your way of love making/showing love/spoiling others or vise versa

♀ in 12th- a lot of people don’t even realize that they envy you/ subconsciously send you evil eye, you provoke their hidden desires(this place def has lots of people in their circle wishing on their downfall) they envy how content you are with yourself /and how you’ve healed yourself , your music taste

I feel like prominent Pisces placements tend to lose their teeth more often than Capricorns, could also have dreams of teeth falling out/rotting

❃ Prominent Virgo in natal stay cleaning up other people’s 💩💀 like literally tho at some point in your life you’ve had to be some type of caretaker ie. animals, elderly, babies. But 💩 is more prominent/consistent in your life

But if ur a pet owner or caretaker in general you know that a lot of times the only way they can communicate what’s going on w their body Is through their bowel movements so it’s a blessing and a curse cuz it’s not like your obsessed with 💩 (unless👀) but you kinda have to be😭

Aphrodite in Gemini/3rd house natals have contagiously attractive laughs/smiles, delicate hand and arm movements, and beautiful hands and lips

❃ Every time I have prominent 8th synastry esp moon/mars we always have 🩸 sex eventually 🧍🏽‍♀️ they be feigning so bad for you that they can’t wait a few more days they need it now! But they always end up saying you put a spell on them like no bro u willingly put a spell on YOURSELF💀

❃ 7th house mercury could attract or prefer younger/pettie people or they are seen as such, also prone to have partners w prominent anxiety

❃ Eros/mars in Aries/cancer/scorpio in composite charts shows lots of crying during sex but for different reasons

Aries cries because ur f*cking/sucking them so good all they can do is take it like a champ and cry happy tears 🥲

Cancer cries because you truly touched their soul🥺 they never thought sex could be this satisfying and comforting at the same time (healing sex like Pisces)

With scorpio it’s kinda a mixture of both w sprinkles of trauma bonding✨

❃ Venus in 8th synastry- adoring eachothers beauty marks esp the house person @ Venus , the house person usually adores the Venus’s insecurities/stuff about themselves that they never picked up on which gives the Venus person a new prospective of their beauty

❃ Mercury synastry can tell you how you were first introduced/heard of each other

☿ in 8th- meeting while/before going through a transformational/traumatic period in your life, you could have problems w people owing you money or vise versa, catalyst for spiritual & sexual growth, meeting before/after having a major surgery

☿ in 9th- meeting through college/highschool,being introduced to/by a different ethnicity friend,meeting while traveling esp abroad, catalyst in spiritual journey, meeting through religious community

☿ in 4th- I have this w my mom while her ☿ is in my 1st so you could also share this w your parents, w cancer and Aries basically representing the womb her PUMPUM told her about me😂obvi she had no other choice but to learn about me I was coming weather she liked it or not😎 so w 1st house synastry I feel like they were kinda forced onto you they’re pretty hard to miss🥴with 4th her aunts/women in her family told her she was gonna have another baby before she even knew🤷🏽‍♀️

❃ Jupiter in 1st synastry -even the most stubborn person would hear planet person out w this placement 😏 Jupiter boost house persons ego/outlook on life, planet person just makes everything look good & exciting in house person eyes

❃ Pluto in 11th natal- unfriending someone could really feel like a divorce lmao telling people your not friends anymore and they react so crazy like “NO I NEVER WOULDVE THOUGHT💔💔💔” then splittng up your assets (friends/aspirations)

❃ Gemini Venus-girl next door vibe people watch through your window esp w some Pluto energy on your Venus, the song ‘She by Tyler the creator’ was made about us fr😭

❃ Taurus (2°14°26°)moons people think that they own you or that you’re some object they can use anytime they want whether it be your body or your possessions

Also having a Taurus moon could play out as feeling like you didn’t get the support that you needed in ur childhood, the type to have moms that say “I put clothes on your back, food on your plate, and a pillow to lay your head and you’re telling me I didn’t do enough for you??😠😤” like sorry I needed emotional support and understanding as a child that you couldn’t give me🥲 the mom could see the child as spoiled/ungrateful esp with harsh aspects on the moon, but they could also just feel like they have a right to your possessions esp if you live in the same house what is privacy?😀

❃ 6th house synastry is big on planning together,the type to count down the days till they get to see e/o 🥰

Now offering aura & synastry readings

That’s it for now, have a blessed day ✨

[epnusika]

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- GR13F3R Romantic Headcanons

[ The Player! Reader Edition. ]

Author's Note: There are some spoilers ahead.

——————————————————————————————————

•] After his recovery from getting defeated, GR1EF3R was more than beyond pissed that his Dad is telling him to apologize to you. Sure... He did a lot of bad things and initially sent people to get rid of you but... You had it coming! You were trying to steal the Venomshank from him!

•] Now, he's standing awkwardly in your presence once you have returned to Turitopulis. His Dad was standing behind him, waiting and watching if his son would stick to his words. GR1EF3R'S arms are folded across his chest, trying to look cool under the heavy pressure on his shoulders.

"Y0U'R3 B4CK, PUNK... HMPH, T0OK YOU LONG ENOUGH. I 4LMOST TH0UGHT TH4T YOU GOT M4UL3D BY TH3 BE4STS 1N TH3 JUNGL3. Kind of a shame that you didn't...—" — "BRAD!" — "GAH!"

•] His entire apology was pretty pathetic, it was rather pitiful to watch him struggle to get the words out to apologize to you. If anything, his ego wasn't bruised, no. It felt like it was run over by a bullet train, smacked onto the ground, before it was set on fire with humiliation.

•] But... since Mayor Thaniyel wanted you two to get along, he had left you two alone to spend time with each other. GR1EF3R'S obviously repulsed by it. Why should he spend time with the one who beat the crap out of him? He was right about to leave, most likely to return to the big tree in the jungle, until you suggested that you two go to the arcade. Your treat.

•] The next thing you know, GR1EF3R'S hogging up all the prizes of each claw machine in the arcade, being surprisingly good at it.

•] Originally, he was planning to make you go bankrupt but... the moment you started cheering for him as the claw in the machine latches onto a plushed toy, something inside of him clicked, and he changed his mind. So, instead of you, he made the arcade bankrupt instead.

•] As you two headed out of the arcade, carrying four heavy bags of every prize that you won, GR1EF3R realized something. Something that felt... good. He's finally experiencing the feeling of having a companion. Not in online, but purely in reality.

•] He genuinely feels bad. Even after everything he did... You still managed to put up with him. Perhaps that's the reason why he hates you. He thinks you're too soft. You remind him of his Dad. People like you shouldn't...—Wait. No. What the hell is he thinking? He shouldn't care about stuff like this! Especially after you whooped his ass.

•] He's still pissed about it.

•] Regardless, he was pretty upset when he realized that you were going to leave Turitopulis soon. Right... He almost forgot that you were always up and about, rushing off to another one of your adventures or something...

•] It was like you helped him piece together the fragile parts of his heart, only to crush it with your own foot right after you were finished.

•] ...why did you have to leave when he finally found solace in your presence?

•] When the day of your departure arrived, you were met with a disgruntled GR1EF3R.

"H3Y, PUNK. Y0U GOT A PH0N3, R1GHT? ...HUH? WH4T DO YOU M3AN YOU DON'T H4VE—...? UGH, F1NE. H3RE, H4VE TH1S."

•] The next thing you know, GR1EF3R is handing you a cellular phone. From the looks of it, it looks outdated compared to its present-time counterparts. His old phone, perhaps?

"TSK... WHY D1D I EXP3CT TH4T YOU W0ULDN'T OWN ON3...? Maybe it's because you look broke."

•] Says the one who gave his old phone instead of buying a new one.

•] Going through the old phone though, there was one thing that you realized. GR1EF3R's number is in your contacts.

"L3T ME G3T SOM3TH1NG STR4IGHT... DON'T TH1NK TH4T TH3RE'S SOM3TH1NG GO1NG ON B3TWEEN US. GOT 1T? W1TH THE M4SS1VE Z3R0 IN Y0UR FR13ND'S L1ST? YOU SH0ULD BE GR4T3FUL TH4T I'M GIV1NG Y0U MY NUMB3R IN TH3 F1RST PL4CE. NOW GO. 1'M T1R3D OF LO0K1NG AT YOUR F4CE."

•] Not even ten minutes later after you left, he's asking his Dad about when you're going to come back. Looking over to the prizes that you two won in the arcade... He felt ticked off. All of it reminds him of you, surging a bittersweet feeling in his chest because of the short time you spent together.

•] So... when you arrived at your next destination, your phone was being blown up by messages from GR1EF3R. It was just simple messages like 'Hey, you alive?' or 'Hope the plane didn't crash.' but still. It's kind of amusing how he went from wanting you dead to being worried about your status.

•] Messages like this continued between the two of you. Slowly, it shifted to the point that you two had this little texting thing going on between each other. GR1EF3R'S obviously curious about what's going on in your line though. For example, he's asking what's it like retrieving the Ghostwalker? Did you have a tough time fighting enemies? You had to give him updates every hour or so because he wouldn't stop bugging you.

•] Until... you checked your most recent message from him. Exhausted from running away from the enemies trying to get you, you hid away into a secluded spot to regain some energy. You eventually pulled out your phone to check your contacts, and as expected, there was a new message from GR13FER.

"H3Y, SO. TH1S'LL BE OUTT4 POCK3T BUT 4RE Y0U PL4NN1NG TO H3AD B4CK TO TUR1TOPUL1S SO0N? TH3RE'S TH1S N3W 4IRS0FT PL4CE OP3N1NG SOON AND, I N3ED A P4RTNER."

•] Proceeding, he argues that he's totally not asking you out, totes!

"SO... WH3N 4M I GO1NG TO P1CK YOU UP FR0M THE A1RP0RT?"

[cyanhydrangea]

Nerd(s) [Bayverse Donatello x Reader]

Summary: Donnie thinks you're always avoiding him because he's a nerd, he's about to find out the real reason

Warning: mentions of bullying

Donnie notices you love to spend your free time with his brothers

You often meditate with Leo

You workout with Raph

You play video games with Mikey

But he also notices you never spends your time with him, just the two of you.

Once he invites you into his lab since he often see you stand at the entrance of his lab, but you immediately excuse yourself, saying there's an urgent thing to do at home. (He could hear mikey's whine, saying "aren't we gonna play skateboard [name]??")

Donnie feels like you're always avoiding him, and it saddened him.

Out of curiosity, he once stalks you online, because he had to admit he might has a 'lil crush on you. He found your social medias and make a conclusion that you're quite popular. No wonder, you're gorgeous, after all.

Perhaps, you just don't want to hang out with a nerd like him.

At least, that's what he thought.

One day, you were exhausted and fell asleep on the couch at the lair. Donnie walked past by, heading to his lab but stopped when he heard something.

You, sleep talking, mumbling...

...chemical elements? In periodic table order?

Donnie got closer to you, to hear more clearly what you're saying in your sleep, and indeed you were sleep-talking periodic table of elements, in order.

Raph and Mikey's sudden presence, fighting over the last pizza they had, woken you up. And you weren't expecting the purple masked turtle to be so close to you

"Uhh, hi Donnie"

"Hi, uhmmm"

You get up to sit on the couch, Donnie's not sure if he should tell you what happened but he can't help it.

"You were sleep talking..."

"I did?"

"Yeah, about chemical elements...in periodic table order..."

You can feel your face got warmer, you can't believe what you just been told.

"Do you have any interest in chemistry?" Donnie can't help but ask.

You gulped, unsure how to answer it.

"I used to...I mean I still do, I mean---"

You sigh, "It's complicated....I have a love-hate relationship with science in general"

Donnie sits beside you, getting intrigued.

"You see, I used to be a massive nerd in school, but I get bullied for it everyday. I make a decision to change my persona when I started high school. I abandoned my love for science altogether so I won't go back to the nerdy persona and won't get bullied again"

You paused before you continue, "But when I met you and see you have this amazing lab with awesome inventions, my inner nerd self is dying to spends a lot of time with you. But you also reminds me of my past self, and the painful memories of getting bullied keeps replaying in my head"

Donnie's heart breaks hearing your story

"I'm sorry you've been through those traumatic events"

You tried to smile, "It's ok, it's not your fault or anything"

Donnie locks his determined eyes with yours "I want to assure you that you're safe here, w-with me, whenever you're ready for the joy of science again"

You blushed by the eye contact, "T-thank you"

The thought of spending time with your crush doing things you love makes both you and Donnie feels a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

#CyanHydrangea

Date Written: 17/01/2024

[r0ttenhearts]

Words On a Screen II

kazuha left you both at the table, your hands warming on a cup of coffee as scaramouche sat in front of you. he looks strangely uneasy, constantly adjusting his many rings on his fingers as he looked at the table, not at you.

“so? what could you possibly have to say to me scaramouche?” he visibly flinched at the lack of your usual endearing names as you spoke to him bluntly. after his many attempts to try and talk to you over the phone he seemed almost afraid to say something to you now that you were both sitting in front of each other.

his mouth opened and closed, no sound coming out. his thoughts were jumbled up and unable to form a sentence, an excuse for what he’s done to you.

“(y/n), i.. i never meant for you to find out that way.”

you scoff, your grip tightening on your mug as you look at his face.

“oh really? is that so? so when was i to be notified that my so called lover has been cheating on me? tell me, when?”

scaramouche’s eyes widened as he looks you in the eyes, the hurt and anger swirling in yours almost want to make him look away.

“i’m sorry, (y/n). please just, look— you know me, okay? you know the real me, unlike anyone else has. you know this hurts me as much as it hurts you. everything i said to her— i didn’t mean it. honest. all i see is you (y/n).”

he reaches across the table, grabbing your hand before you promptly snatch it out of his grip. glaring daggers at the boy you once swore you’d always forgive. scaramouche’s head hung low, his hands on his lap as his hair covered his eyes.

“please.. let’s just go home. i promise i’ll make this up to you. we still have so much planned, remember? our anniversary is coming up a-and we haven’t gotten married yet, in sumeru like we said we would. don’t let that go to waste—”

“oh really scara? don’t let it go to waste? you’re the one who did that. you did that when you got in bed with that woman, professed the same words we said to each other to her! this is not my fault.”

you laughed dryly, standing up from the kitchen table as you walked over to kazuha’s door. scaramouche looked up from his lap, looking the most vulnerable you’d ever seen him as he looked to your angry form opening the door.

“please get the fuck out of kazuha’s house and never talk to me or show yourself around me again.”

scara slowly stood up from the table, walking out of the house as you slammed the door behind him.

it was really over, like he said it would be.

but why did it hurt so much? didn’t he say he hated you? hated your “suffocating” presence in his life?

why did it feel so.. empty now?

the drive back to your once shared home was quiet. the anxiety in his stomach bubbling over as he stumbled his way into the kitchen, digging in the liquor cabinet you both would only indulge in on special occasions.

grabbing the biggest bottle he could find, he uncapped the liquid and took a big gulp. the stinging in his throat didn’t seem as much of a comparison with the burn in his heart.

you were really gone. he’d never wake up to your cuddles, meals, kisses and affection, or even see you again.

he fucked up. big time.

he sat on the kitchen floor, laughing quietly to himself as the bottle sat next to him, uncapped.

he couldn’t even think of haypasia now, not with you gone. wasn’t she the whole reason why this happened? his affair with a woman he couldn’t care less about now?

it was ironic really, the way he saw the both of you now that he’d lost you. you’d far outweigh the scale of what he’d wished and yearned for since his abandonment as a child.

and what, now you were going to stay with kazuha? the man he introduced you to? it all tasted bitter as he took another swig of the bottle.

time seemed to pass slowly after the breakup. scaramouche stopped streaming and disappeared online, the same being for haypasia. he no longer talked to her after that day, staying cooped up in his now empty home, hugging a sweater you had forgotten to bring along.

when he heard you and kazuha had gotten together he drunk himself into a heavy hangover. he didn’t consider himself a drinker, not until that day. those big shiny bottles being his only comfort as you had taken the small cat that you both had adored.

this was the life he had declared he had wanted for the past two years to a woman he no longer cared to speak to.

but it was just words on a screen, right?

taglist: @christfulity @magica-ren @malina130550 @sketcheeee @kaoriee @imahallucination928 @marvelly13-blog @hxqlou @rivkadreamer @samarill @ainnofinway

@elaphrodite @zeikanspel @thantos-nightshade

@ilovemychunkycat @rengokus-bloodclot @freezombielover @ahseya @0kauy @muichirouswife @blue-rae18

[channelinglament]

Sksjdjjkskskskskksk

I know I should be focusing more on reqs, but I had to take this off my mind skskksskks (btw I'm rn in the underground belobog part of story) (I kinda called it SAHSR as in self aware hsr)

☆•°Self-Aware Honkai Star Rail°•☆

Tw: no proofread, mentioned drowning(but it didn't happen), war, hate, religious themes, self awareness, kinda ooc, grammar mistakes because I am typing this at 12AM instead of sleeping, isolation

So, you know how in the beginning we play as Kafka? Yeah, I'm pretty sure she felt your presence. At first she was kinda weirded out, and was on guard. Who knows what you would do to her, while controlling her?

Oh look, you're helping her.. Hmm, maybe you aren't that bad after all. Still on guard, but thankful. With you she seems to fight more faster and is more efficient.

Same goes with Silver Wolf. They don't seem to mind your presence that much.

You even helped them to pick a trailblazer! But after picking them, you left Kafka and Silver Wolf. They didn't really mind it. They have been doing good without you, so it should be fine!

Meanwhile, the trailblazer is confused. First, they don't remember anything except their own name(or the name you gave them), then Kafka leaves and someone is watching over them. Oh how confusing and strange. But they caught early on that you're helping them. You're not an enemy.

During their "adventures" trailblazer starts thinking of you as a family. Kinda annoying since you control their body most the time (unless it's a cutscene) but you're cool nonetheless. They see you as a safespace.

Meanwhile March 7th and Dan Heng don't understand what is happening. Who is controlling them? Why after they met trailblazer? Why are you controlling them?

I think March would, just like the trailblazer, like you and find you annoying at the same time. Dan Heng would stay on guard (but also see you as safe space/nice person to hang with). Not as much on guard as when you first...met but still. It'll take him time to get off guard. The more time you spend with them, the more familiar they are with you, the more they like you.

Why annoyed, you may ask? Well, imagine you want to.. for example fight, but someone controls your movement and does it instead of you. Or goes the other way (aka exploring) instead of the path you've originally chosen.

They certainly would like when you make them stronger. No matter who is on your team, they'll like it (I mean, who wouldn't?)

But.. sometimes, even if they like you, they get tired of always being on the team. Thank you, yes, but they need to rest too. They mostly rest when you're offline, since..time kinda stops there. But when you're online? damnnn they walk and fight so much.. (I fr walk everywhere to find enemies to fight, so uhh, if you're like me, they would be tired and maybe annoyed at it)

I think some characters would even hate you. It doesn't apply to the main trio btw, they'll always like you. The reason some may hate you is that they have so much stuff to do, yet you choose them to walk around and fight all day. They're even supposed to be here! (For example, using Herta when fighting someone in Belobog)

If they could, they would scold you. But sadly game doesn't allow that.

It only appears in normal, self aware circumstances. Aka a normal self aware. Some like you, some hate you. You just kinda exist. (That one strange friend/sibling, y'know?)

But what if they would see you as a God? Something divine? Like in SAGAU?

Well, you're doomed, what can I say?

Everyone would want to be in your team. Oh, poor Gacha system.

They would hate it tbh. While in just self aware some would avoid you on purpose (aka busy characters), here? Where everyone sees you as a divine being? Oh dear..

Imagine several people trying to come through a single door, all at the same time? Yeahhh that's what happens. The standard and limited banner would literally fist fight while trying to get "home" to you. So don't be surprised if nobody comes home, at all.

But some may cooperate, and you may get more 5☆ or 4☆! Basically characters you wanted.

Those on your team would be proud! Mostly if the main trio are still there. Some would be envious of trailblazer. You're always with them, even if they're not on your team.(how could you?!)

Kafka and Silverwofl would be devastated. I'm pretty sure Silverwolf could possibly destroy the gacha system and come home. Only her (and maybe Kafka)

People in Belobog would hate the lore and everything game makes them do what they do. They're so happy they met you! You're here to save them! They don't want to fight you, so please don't be mad at them.

Honestly, if you were to get isekai'ed into hsr, I would recommend to the normal au.

The ones who hate you would just tell you off and never interact again, while your family/friends would hang out with you. Plus you could help a lot in Astral Express!

Maybe get Himeko and Mr.Yang some tea? Or help Pom Pom with whatever he needs?

If you get into the Worshipping Lunatics au..? I feel sorry for you.. You would never rest-

Whether you choose to stay at Astrak Express, or Herta's *I forgot the name* or whatever, they are all ready to wage war against each other. And if you decided to stay somewhere, that means you clearly favor them and their place more! Those who were chosen are happy/smug. While other try to improve their place/copy the place you've chosen to make you reconsider and stay with them.

The amount of gifts.. try to not drown okay?

They might even all agree to keep you in one place. Lock you in there and hope you won't be mad at them.

That's all for now

(Gotta work on reqs now or in the morning, they're still open btw)

[pixiesfz]

old friend from school t.m x r

plot: you recently move to England after living in Australia your whole life

warnings: some facts could be wrongs, there is one point in this where the r does something and if I saw it in real life I would cringe

You had finally set up your new apartment, taking photos of it to send to your mum who was eager to see your décor skills. Your heart was bumping, you had officially moved to Europe, something you had always wanted to do since you were seventeen.

Australia was great and you loved the setting and the atmosphere but you always yearned to be somewhere where you could always have a fresh start.

Plus, you were pretty sure the girls in Europe love the Aussie accent.

“This looks sick” Your best friend Emily piped up from behind you, letting herself in “yeah?” you asked and she nodded “Looks ready for a housewarming party” She smirked and you shook your head

“no”

“Oh c’mon! You need more friends other than me and some girls from high school moved here as well”

You huffed “We never talked to those girls” you hummed and she crossed her head “We talked to Teagan”

You whipped your head up “Teagan’s in Europe?” you asked and your best friend smirked “Yep, she just started playing in the WSL” she proudly said “Do you both still talk?” you asked and she shrugged “when we bump into each other at gatherings, we talk about you sometimes”

You tensed “Why?” your question made your best friend laugh “Oh I don’t know maybe because you were both madly in love with each other”

You scoff “No we were not”

“Yes you were and then you pussied away because you got scared”

You gave your friend a pointed glare “She was going to UCLA for college, I was going to Latrobe University in Melbourne, it wouldn’t have worked”

“So you admit you did have feelings for her?”

“Emily!”

“What,” she said innocently, and you grumbled “It’s been almost seven years, I’ve had girlfriends since then and she probably has to”

“To be fair you haven’t seen each other since, have you even talked online?”

Guilt washed over you as you remembered her name popping up on your phone and you ignoring it “no” you said and your best friend nodded, a silence going over your apartment.

“Well, you still need more friends”.

“Is this how I’m going to make new friends?” you ask Emily as you walk into Prenton Park where the game would be played “I have some friends here that want to meet you” she says simply and you rolled your eyes “All right fine”.

“Who’s playing again?” You ask and your friend shuffled her feet “Chelsea and Liverpool” You nodded “Cool, I was more of an Arsenal fan but-“ “That’s only because they have the most Aussies” your friend interrupted you and you shrugged “Don’t hate me because I love my country”

You were completely fine until the teams ran out, you were next to Liverpool's side of the tunnel and watched everyone run out with a small “woo” on your behalf.

You watched the back of their heads as they all ran, unbeknownst to you your best friend watching you with a smirk, waiting for Liverpool’s goalkeeper to turn around so you could see her face.

Your eyes followed the goalkeepers head, she reminded you of someone from back home.

“Don’t you think that-“

Your voice stopped as she turned around, clapping to the fans. Teagan as beautiful as ever with her hair up, she had obviously died it blonde recently. Your mouth was agape from shock as Emily giggled from aside from you, waving to some of the girls in the team.

“When you said you wanted me to meet your friends I think you forgot to mention they were in the team”

“I’m full of surprises”

You rolled your eyes but felt like hiding behind the gate, which had holes in it so your presence would still be seen, your next option was to use your scarf as a mask but the perfume you had sprayed on it was strong and you think it might kill you if you held it there for the whole game.

“You also forgot to mention Teagan’s team was Liverpool, I assumed Man United or City”

“I thought you wouldn’t come if I said so”

You just hummed and nodded, agreeing with her. In all fairness, you probably would’ve.

You leaned down to rummage through your bag as your friend tapped your back “What?”

“someone’s looking at us” she whispered and you shot your head up in protectiveness, assuming it was a creepy man “Who?” you asked and you were met with the eyes of your old friend from school.

She raised her brows in shock as she held on to the ball, her teammates asking her to throw it back but she was frozen solid “fuck” you mumbled under your breath and you were sure she did the same.

She looked older, but you knew that from a now and then stalk on her social media and you thought she may have been thinking the same.

You felt like you had been staring at her for five minutes before her teammate yanked the ball out of her hands, taking you both out of your trances as you shot your head to Emily.

“Well, that was a bit hard to watch”.

It was after the first half you got really into the game, you had to admit Teaghan was playing extremely well, Number 33 for Chelsea had been firing shots and she was deflecting almost all of them, you couldn’t help but cheer loudly.

It reminded you back in high school when she invited you to all her games, especially in her young Matilda’s games, those were her favourites, and she loved representing her country.

“You’re not mad at me are you?” Your friend asked, slightly guilty by her actions “Depends on if I make a fool of myself in front of the team” you smirked, knowing that you would be extremely nervous meeting them.

When the two teams came out again you cheered loudly for Liverpool, you and Emily sharing a Liverpool scarf as a cameraman shot a video of you both.

Your eyes fell on Teagan as she took her spot in front of the net, she looked nervous as she fiddled with her gloves. This win meant a lot to them apparently, Chelsea was a big team in the WSL, they win a lot and can be described as 'cocky’ at least by Emily.

You thought back to High school when you went to her games and took a deep breath before using your hands and putting them at the sides of your mouth.

“Let’s go Teagzy!” you yelled out to her before clapping, something you used to yell out to her every game.

The girl looked up at your voice immediately, shocked that you’d even speak up. She nodded and smiled to herself nonetheless and got ready before Chelsea got the ball into their forward line.

The cheers grew louder each and every time Teaghan made a save and you and Emily couldn’t help but stand up and cheer when the whistle blew.  

After celebrating the win the players started to walk around the pitch, interacting with fans and family.

Some of the girls went straight to Emily who introduced you to them “Where’s Teaghan?” Emily asked and the girls looked around “I think she went straight into the tunnel” one girl said and you nodded, Emily looked back at you, guilt practically written on her face.

“She said she wanted to see someone though” one of the girls piped up “An old friend from school she said,” another one said and you smiled “Okay”

“I’m having some girls over tonight at mine if you guys want to come,” Emily said and all the girls nodded

“just please don’t bring any Chelsea girls I think I might drunkenly piss them off”.

You were late to Emily’s.

You didn’t mean to, usually you are the first to an event but you caught yourself stuck in your wardrobe figuring out what to wear.

To tight.

To revealing.

To colourful.

Not revealing enough.

You finally settled on jeans and a nice top, bringing a win with you as you knocked on the door to see an already tipsy Emily.

“Teaghan!”

Well maybe more than Tipsy.

The girl quickly grabbed you by your hand and searched the room, you tried to follow her eyesight but she was too quick before she pushed you toward someone making you squeal.

It didn’t seem like the other girl was prepared either but with her quick reflexes she grabbed your waist with one hand and your hand that held the wine in the other.

“uh hello”

Your eyes widened as you looked up to Teaghen, recognizing her voice.

“I am going to kill her,” you said before pulling your arms away, your high school crush immediately coming back at the feeling of her skin brushing yours

“You’d rather kill your best friend than talk to me”

You dropped your mouth into an ‘o’ shape “No I wanted to talk to you, really I just thought maybe after one or two drinks that maybe I could have the confidence to“ You stopped after seeing her grinning smirk on her face “Teaghan” you deadpanned and she laughed “I’m only kidding with you”

“I needed to talk to you too”.

You slightly blushed at her saying ‘needed’ but you looked away “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you” you hummed and she nodded “seven years to be exact” she added on and you grimaced “How was UCLA?” you asked and she smiled “It was great, a bit rocky at first but I got into it, found some life long friends” you smiled “that’s great and obviously your living your dream now”

She smiled “I wouldn’t say dream-“ “oh shut up”

She laughed softly before gesturing her drink to you “What’s brought you here on a holiday?” she asked and you shook your head “not a holiday, I’m here for good” you said proudly and she raised her brows “oh shit” she laughed “well warning for the weather but from memory you like the cold” she smiled and you agreed.

A silence went over and you grimaced, remembering what you had done to her after high school.

“I’m sorry,” you said and she looked at you “What?” “For after school, I just- you were moving to America for four years and I was still at home I just got scared” you trailed off and the girl nodded “Oh”

“yeah” you murmured, looking away before the soccer player turned your head back to her “After a while I realised, my roommate Jessie kinda yelled at me for being upset and then I got scared and never communicated back”

“Jessie seems nice”

“She’s Canadian”

“Sounds about right” you both laughed and you grabbed your wine “I’m going to open this,” you said, a bit awkwardly if you said so yourself “Do you want me to come?” Teaghan asked and you smiled “Yes please”.

“I did that!” Emily yelled as you both walked by her, the two of you just laughing at your friends antics.

[onlinesuzie]

HAMZAH REQUEST: argument fic w fluff make out after love me some angst ty!

♡ confronting hamzah about his time away from you ♡

words: 1.8k

summary: Hamzah was passionate about his work, spending countless hours filming and editing to ensure every detail was perfect. But as his dedication to his videos grew, so did the distance between you and him.

notes: i usually hate writing angst but this submission made me want to try it so i hope you like it!! also i am a sucker for hamzah asking for a little kiss so i just had to add that!!

☆

Hamzah’s deep brown eyes always sparkled with excitement whenever he talked about his latest project. With his brown curly hair framing his face, often tousled from running his hands through it during long editing sessions. His tan skin, a warm golden hue, glowed under the harsh blue light, though dark circles had begun to appear under his eyes from many sleepless nights.

You were very proud of Hamzah’s success. You loved seeing the joy his videos brought to his audience, but the late nights and missed dinners were taking their toll. What once felt like a shared journey now seemed like a lonely path. Tonight, as you set the table for a special dinner, the clock ticked away the minutes of your patience.

Hamzah was late again.

The dinner grew cold as you sat in silence, the flickering candlelight casting shadows on the empty chair across from you. You had planned a special evening, hoping to reconnect after weeks of feeling alone. But as the hours passed, your frustration turned to anger.

Finally, the front door creaked open. Hamzah entered, his face alight with excitement, clutching his camera.

“You won’t believe how funny Martin was today! It’s going to be our best video yet,” he said, oblivious to your simmering anger.

“Hamzah, do you even know what time it is?” you snapped, your voice sharper than you intended.

He opened up his phone, checking the time and noticing the several missed calls, his smile fading. “Oh… I lost track of time. I’m sorry, my love. But you should see this clip—”

“I don’t care about the clip!” you interrupted, standing up from the table. “You’re always late, always busy with your videos. Do you even care about us anymore?”

Hamzah’s face fell, his excitement replaced by confusion and defensiveness. “Of course I care about us. This is for us, for our future. Can’t you see how important this is?”

“Important? Hamzah, you’re never here! I feel like I’m living alone. We never talk, we never spend time together. I’m tired of feeling left out.”

“I thought you’d be proud of me,” Hamzah shot back, his voice rising. “I’m building something here. Something that makes us a stable income. Can’t you see that?”

“I am proud of you! But what’s the point of all this if me and you are falling apart?” Your voice broke, the frustration spilling out. “I just want to spend time with you, Hamzah. Is that too much to ask?”

“You think I don’t want that too?” he retorted. “I’m doing this for us, so we can have a better future. But it’s like you don’t even appreciate how hard I’m working.”

“Appreciate? I appreciate you, Hamzah. But I need you here, with me, not lost in your work all the time. We’re supposed to be a team, remember?”

“We are a team,” he insisted. “But you need to understand, this isn’t just a hobby. This is my career. Our career. You should be supporting me.”

“I do support you,” you said, tears welling up in your eyes. “But I can’t support something that’s tearing us apart.”

The argument escalated, emotions running high. Words flew back and forth, each one more hurtful than the last. You voiced every grievance, every moment of loneliness you had felt. Hamzah tried to defend himself, explaining the pressures of maintaining his online presence, but his words only fueled your anger.

“You don’t get it,” you cried, tears streaming down your face. “I don’t care about your subscribers or your videos. I care about you. I miss you.”

The room fell silent, your words hanging in the air. Hamzah stood there, the weight of your feelings finally sinking in. He stepped closer, his voice softening. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how much I was hurting you. I’m so sorry sweetheart, I thought I was doing this for us, but I see now that I’ve been pushing you away.”

You looked up at him, your anger fading as you saw the regret in his eyes. “I just want us to be okay, Hamzah. I want to feel like we’re a team again.”

He reached out, taking your hands in his. “We are a team. And I promise I’ll do better. I’ll find a way to balance my work and our relationship. You’re more important to me than any video.”

The sincerity in his voice melted the remaining tension. You stepped closer, wrapping your arms around him, and he held you tight. As you looked into his eyes, you saw the love that had always been there, just buried under the stress and excitement of his career.

“I love you,” you whispered, and he leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a tender kiss.

Hamzah was breathtakingly beautiful, and you had missed him this way. His eyes were locked onto yours, conveying a depth of emotion words could never capture. You had always admired his determination and drive, but in this moment, all you wanted was him, here with you, present and loving.

“I’ve missed you so much,” you murmured against his lips, your voice barely a whisper. “I need you, Hamzah.”

“I’m here,” he whispered back, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Later into the night, it was quiet, the air thick with unspoken words and unresolved tension. You and Hamzah lay on the couch, entwined, the warmth of his body a comfort you hadn't realized you needed so badly. Yet, even in this moment of closeness, a sense of unease lingered. You knew the fight wasn't over, that deeper issues lay beneath the surface, waiting to be addressed.

As you traced your fingers along the curve of Hamzah’s jaw, you could see the exhaustion etched into his features. The dark circles under his eyes told the story of countless late nights spent editing videos, chasing a dream that seemed to be pulling him further away from you.

“Hamzah,” you began softly, not wanting to shatter the fragile peace that had settled between you, “I’m scared.”

He looked at you, his brown eyes concerned. “Scared of what?”

“I’m scared that we’re losing each other,” you confessed. “That your career is becoming more important than us. I know you love what you do, and I love seeing you happy, but I need to know that we still matter to you.”

Hamzah sighed, running a hand through his curly hair. “You do matter. More than anything. But I feel like I’m caught between two worlds. I want to give you everything, but I also love my job and don’t want to lose the opportunity I’ve ended up with.”

“I understand that,” you said, your voice trembling. “But I don’t want to be the one always left behind. We need to find a balance, Hamzah. I need to feel like I’m a part of your world, not just an afterthought.”

He pulled you closer, his embrace strong yet tender. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’ve been so focused on my work that I forgot the most important part of my life – you. I promise I’ll do better.”

You buried your face in his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. “I miss us, Hamzah. I miss the way things used to be.”

He tilted your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze. “Then let’s make a change. Let’s set some boundaries. No more late nights unless it’s absolutely necessary. And I’ll make sure we have our time together, no matter what.”

You nodded, a glimmer of hope igniting within you. “Okay. But we have to stick to it, Hamzah. We can’t keep going like this.”

“I know,” he said, his voice firm with determination. “I want this to work. I want us to work.”

As you shared this intimate moment, the tension that had filled the room began to dissipate, replaced by a deep longing for each other. Your heart raced as you leaned in closer, feeling the warmth radiating from him. Hamzah’s eyes searched yours, filled with a mixture of regret and desire.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, his voice low and filled with vulnerability.

You nodded, your breath hitching in your throat as he closed the distance. His lips closed the distance between you.

Hamzah’s hands held to your waist, pulling you closer as he traced your lips with his tongue. You responded eagerly, opening your mouth and wrapping your arms around his neck and sliding your fingers into his soft curls. His lips moved against yours with an urgency that made your heart beat faster. It felt as though the world around you had disappeared, leaving just the two of you in your own bubble of passion.

You could taste the salt of his skin and the sweetness of his breath as you kissed him deeply, exploring the familiar contours of his mouth. Every touch, every sigh, seemed to bring you closer, healing the wounds that had formed between you during the argument.

Hamzah’s hands traveled down your back, pulling you even tighter against him as if he never wanted to let go. You could feel the warmth of his body against yours, and every brush of his fingers gave you goosebumps. The kiss grew more intense, filled with all the pent-up emotions of longing, frustration, and love.

“God, I’ve missed this,” you breathed, pulling away just enough to catch your breath, your hands resting on his chest.

“Me too,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion. “I never want to lose you.”

As you resumed kissing, it was as if you were both reaffirming your commitment to each other. The softness of his lips against yours felt like a promise, a vow that no matter how busy life got, you would always find your way back to one another. You kissed with intensity, pouring all your love and desperation into each moment.

Time seemed to stand still as you got lost in each other. Every moment spent in his arms felt like a step towards reclaiming what you both had nearly lost. The passion of the kiss made you realize just how important your connection was, how deep your love ran.

Eventually, you pulled back slightly, both of you breathless, the realization of how much you needed each other settling in.

“Let’s not wait until we’re fighting to remember this,” you said softly, brushing your fingers over his cheek.

“Agreed,” Hamzah replied, his expression serious yet tender. “I promise to always make time for us, no matter what.”

As you nestled into his embrace once more, the world outside seemed to fade away. The promise of a new beginning hung in the air, and with every heartbeat, you felt a renewed sense of hope. You knew that no matter the challenges ahead, you and Hamzah would face them together—united, passionate, and very much in love.

With hearts intertwined, you both finally surrendered to the exhaustion of the day, drifting off to sleep in each other’s arms, ready to embrace the future hand in hand.

[luvzshy]

please please can you make billie being super protective over her plus size girlfriend after she got hate comments after red carpet

more than enough

The night had been surreal. Walking down the red carpet with Billie, feeling her hand in yours, the buzz of cameras and flashing lights around you—it had been one of those moments you’d always dreamt of but never quite believed would happen.

But now, hours later, you were curled up on the couch, staring blankly at your phone, wondering why the glow of that moment was slipping away so fast. The screen was full of comments, most of them brutal. Strangers picking you apart, dissecting your body, sneering at the way you looked next to her.

You’d seen it coming. You’d prepared yourself mentally for the judgment, told yourself it didn’t matter, that you wouldn’t let it affect you. But now that you were sitting there, alone, scrolling through the venom, it felt different. It felt personal.

You hadn’t even noticed Billie entering the room until she was sitting down beside you, her presence calm but watchful. She knew you too well.

“Hey,” she said softly, leaning in close. “You’ve been quiet since we got home. What’s going on?”

You opened your mouth to say something casual, something like “I’m fine” or “It’s nothing,” but the words didn’t come. The knot in your throat tightened, and suddenly you couldn’t hold back the wave of emotion. You swallowed, staring at your phone as the silence stretched out.

Her eyes followed yours, and it didn’t take long for her to piece it together. Billie reached for the phone, not roughly, but with a sense of purpose, like she needed to see for herself what had you so upset. You watched her expression shift as she scrolled, her mouth set in a tight line, her eyes narrowing.

“They’re idiots,” she muttered under her breath, her voice controlled but laced with anger. She set the phone down on the coffee table, turning to you fully. “Why didn’t you tell me people were saying this shit?”

You shrugged, feeling small and exposed. “Because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. It’s… it’s just people online. I should be used to it by now, right?”

Billie shook her head, her eyes softening but still sharp with frustration. “No. You don’t have to be ‘used to it.’ You shouldn’t have to deal with this crap at all.” She pulled you closer, her arm wrapping around your shoulders, grounding you. “I hate that this is happening to you. I hate that people think they have a right to say anything about you. You deserve better.”

You looked away, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s hard, though. It’s like, I don’t care about them… but then, why does it still hurt so much?”

Billie exhaled slowly, resting her head against yours. “Because you’re human. Because people can be cruel, and it’s impossible not to feel it when they come at you like this. But none of this—none of what they say—defines you.”

You felt the tears prick at your eyes, the weight of her words breaking through some of the numbness that had settled in. “I just didn’t want to bring you into it,” you said quietly. “You have so much to deal with already. This is my problem.”

“No,” Billie said firmly, her voice quiet but unwavering. “This is our problem. You’re not doing this alone.” She turned your face toward hers, her eyes intense, like she needed you to understand how serious she was. “I’m not gonna let anyone make you feel like you don’t belong. Not in my life, not anywhere. You’re beautiful. And you’re mine. I don’t care what they say.”

You blinked, the tears finally falling, and Billie gently brushed them away with her thumb. “I wish I could make all of this disappear,” she murmured, her voice thick with emotion. “I wish I could make them understand what I see when I look at you.”

You gave a small, shaky laugh, leaning into her touch. “You make me feel like I’m enough. But sometimes… sometimes it feels like the world doesn’t agree.”

Billie’s grip on you tightened, her frustration barely contained. “The world is wrong, then. I don’t care what they think. All I care about is you.”

There was a moment of quiet between you, the weight of her words settling in. You closed your eyes, leaning against her, letting her warmth surround you, trying to let go of the pain that had been building inside. Billie held you like she wasn’t going to let go, her heartbeat steady against your skin, her presence anchoring you.

“You know,” she said after a while, her voice soft but determined, “if anyone gives you shit again, I’m calling them out. I don’t care who they are. You don’t deserve this, and I’m not gonna stay quiet about it.”

You smiled, the first real smile since the comments had started pouring in. “You don’t have to do that.”

She tilted your chin up, her eyes locking onto yours. “I want to. I’m not just gonna sit back while people hurt you. You’re everything to me.”

And somehow, despite everything, despite the cruel words from people who didn’t know you, didn’t know your heart, you believed her. You believed that in Billie’s eyes, you were enough, more than enough. And that was something you could hold onto, even when the world felt too loud.

[allaboutnayeli]

I neeeedddd a fanfiction of r being really shy and they just started dating (elisa asked because r can't even look at her eyes).

Also, no need to do it if you don't have time. I know you probably have finals and even other stuff x

eye contact is overrated ( elisa de almeida x reader )

prompt: you can't seem to stop being shy around elisa even after she asks you out.

author notes: thank you for the request! and ty for being appreciative of my time but tbh i have more free time than i should. i hope this is what you wanted. i finished this at literally 4am so give me slack on any grammar/spelling errors. enjoy!

you wouldn't consider yourself to be a shy person. your personality was bold and strong on the pitch while loud and talkative off of the pitch. nobody would consider you shy expect for one person: elisa de almeida who just so happens to be your now current girlfriend. even after getting with her, you're still so shy.

it truly isn't your fault. elisa is the first woman to make you feel this way; nervous in a good way. the first to make your heart flutter when she gives you a quick smile. it's 100% elisa's fault for being so beautiful like she is. that's why you always look away when she tries to hold eye contact or use to go silent in the locker room when she walked past you. she was too beautiful for her own good.

when you first moved clubs to paris saint germain from wolfsburg, you were understandably nervous. not nervous enough to not be your bubbly self, but just nervous enough to try to calm down that really loud part of your personality when first meeting the team.

that didn't last long once you got around jackie and ramona. the team overall was full of some big personalities, but those two really bought out your loud side. all day at practice you were playing around and almost had to be separated from jackie so you could focus. that energetic, fun energy followed you all day until it was time to leave.

you were changing out of your practice kit, humming a soft tune. lost in your own world as you put on your tshirt than your sweatpants. you turn as you feel someone's presence behind you. there stood elisa who smiles at you. that stupidly attractive smile. your loud personality from earlier crawls into a shell as you give her a shy smile back.

"can i borrow a comb?" the french player asks, again smiling that stupidly attractive smile at you. it takes a moment for you to just nod and grab your comb from your bag. awkwardly smiling as you hand her the comb. you really was just trying to cover up how feeling her hand against yours makes your heart flutter. "thanks," elisa says before walking off. probably to go find a mirror to look at.

that first interaction set the tone for all the interactions between elisa and you after. the french player would try to make conversation with you and the most she would get was short answers.

at first, she thought you hated her or something like that. you were overly bubbly and friendly with everyone else but her. it made elisa nervous as usually she was easily liked. that's just how her personality is: likeable. what did she do wrong to make you that uncomfortable around her?

it wasn't until she started to notice that you would blush and look away at her when she would greet you. elisa realized you weren't shy out of discomfort, but just out of gay panic. that changed everything for her. now she was determined to get you to open up to her and become closer to you. that shy smile of yours was doing things to her heart so elisa thinks it's only fair that you talk to her for more than five minutes.

instead of talking to you in person which just ends up with you running off, elisa took a different approach and messaged you on instagram. talking to someone online has always been less nerve wracking than in person so it only took a few messages for elisa to see your real personality. that loud, talkative y/n everyone else got to see.

in person you still shyed away from her, but a win was a win to her.

eventually after months of talking back and forth on instagram, you start to open up to elisa in person. happily jumping up on her in celebration after making a great goal. being able to hold an actual conversation with her in person as long as y'all's other teammates are around.

still you have fallen hard for her. you wanted to take you two's friendship to the next level. however you would rather crawl into a hole than ask elisa out. that was going way too far for your (gay panic induced) shyness.

good thing elisa felt the same way and was actually bold enough to take that leap. one day, she invited you out for lunch. despite being incredibly nervous (due to gay panic) you accepted and dressed in a cute white crop top with some flared jeans. doing a half up half down hairstyle for the occasion.

when you arrived at the restaurant, your heart rate was a little higher than it should be but you pushed though and sat down at the reserved table elisa got. she sits infront of you, smiling with that beautiful smile of hers. "thanks for asking me out to this place. it's so nice," you say, almost stumbling over your words. "it's really nothing. i just wanted to spend more time with you" elisa replies back. those words almost had you running out of the restaurant (again gay panic). thankfully you stayed sat in your seat.

the date (would it even be considered one? you didn't ask her) goes well. with you two enjoying a nice lunch before heading off to an aquarium. elisa was particularly obsessed with the sea otters. forcing you to stay by their exhibit longer than needed, but you dealt with it for her. the little critters were cute anyways. you have actually gotten more comfortable talking to her in person now. however eye contact was out of the question, with you always acting interested in other things when you two would speak to each other. it couldn't be helped in all honesty. elisa was just too pretty and her eyes were like the sun in your eyes, so obviously you have to look away; staring at the sun isn't good for you.

the sun was setting as you two step out of the aquarium. hands interlocked as y'all walk to elisa's car. you were actually the reason you two were holding hands right now and it took all of your willpower to power though all that gay panic and take elisa's hand in yours. elisa's already high confidence level climbed that day.

once inside of her car, she starts to talk excitedly about the day. with you saying a few words here and there but listening intently. hearing her sound so excited made you smile.

"the best part of today was definitely the otter exhibit. those little guys are incredibly cute," elisa rants off as she continues to drive. you nod in agreement. "yeah but the penguins were cuter in my opinion," you say. giggling once elisa steals a glance at you. obviously offended.

"why would you even say that? the otters beat out penguins by a long shot" she says. the empathizing in her words almost made you agree, but no. the penguins still have your heart. "they really don't but whatever you say" you shrug before leaning your head against the window. elisa gives you the side eye but has to focus on the road in the end so she will definitely be bringing this back up at a later date.

it takes twenty minutes to get to your place from the aquarium.

elisa being the gentleman she is walks you to your door. "thank you for taking me out today. it was fun," you smile warmly at her. smiling even brighter when she leans in for a hug. happily letting her take you in her arms. the warmth of the embrace almost makes you scream (in gay panic), but you'll save that for later when you're by yourself.

"i enjoyed myself so thank you actually" the french player says against your ear. you could hear the smile on her lips as she speaks, "i have a question for you, y/n."

elisa pulls away from the hug. with her hands still holding onto your arms. she tries to hold eye contact with you (because that's more romantic) but you look away. "what is it?" you say quietly. she looks at you for another moment before saying, "can i be your girlfriend?"

you almost ran into your house out of pure panic. instead you pull her back into a hug. "duh" you giggle.

now you and elisa have been together for a month. that overly shyness of yours have faded a bit. however you still blush when elisa holds your hand in public or when she hugs you from behind or kiss you or pretty much do anything couples usually do.

maybe you shyness hasn't faded, but you are way more comfortable with holding a conversation with her. you start to initiate some affection like a few hugs and kisses but it's mostly elisa being her bold self that starts things.

it's a nice evening of having a movie marathon when the fact you still can't hold eye contact with your girlfriend reveals itself. you are laying on her top of her with your head on her chest as you two stare at the tv. the monster high movies from your childhood playing on the screen. elisa seems to be enjoying the movies despite them not being apart of her childhood at all. clawd is her favorite by the way. she turns to look down at you.

"babe.." she says quietly, chuckling once you look up at her. immediately you look away the moment y'all's eyes meet. it's not your fault you're too shy for all that still. elisa just smiles, mentally reminding herself to break you out of that shy shell of yours, as she guides you to face her again.

leaning down slightly as she kisses you. good thing kisses don't require eye contact.

[cripplecharacters]

Hello!! I’m a fic writer and have had the idea of giving one of the characters I’m writing for prosopagnosia. Within the canon, he mistakes the protagonist for someone he used to know (the protagonist is unable to correct him) and doesn’t realize his mistake until much later on, where he then comments that the two aren’t actually similar at all, in reference to their personalities. He’s also known to refer to people with notable visual traits, at least in the online circles I’ve run in.

I have a couple smaller questions in regards to how I should proceed:

Is it reasonable for him not to have been aware that the way he perceives faces is different?

Would it be incorrect to have him identify others by facial features? Not in the sense of “the one with the short nose” or anything, but “this one has red eyes” and “that one has a scar”. Something easily picked out on the face. Would those be identifiable traits at all?

My fic isn’t meant to have much of an overarching plot, and it’s just supposed to be funny/slice of life. This character is important though and will be a consistent presence. What jokes might my characters make, what jokes should I avoid making, and what jokes is the character going to hear the most and get sick of real quick?

Thank you for your ask! Whether or not he realizes he can’t recognize faces depends on both his character and the severity of his prosopagnosia, as it can range from difficulty differentiating faces to being unable to distinguish faces from objects. From the experience of myself and most people I know with prosopagnosia he’d probably just assume he’s bad with faces and not think any deeper than that, but it isn’t a universal experience.

It's also fine if he recognizes people by unique facial features! Despite not being able to picture someone's face he could try to remember key aspects of someone’s face like a prominent mole or a crooked nose, though I agree something like ‘short nose’ is too vague. The more unique and prominent, the easier he’ll have remembering it (to clarify when I say ‘remembering’ I mean remembering that they have that feature, not being able to picture it). He can also try recognizing people by clothes they always wear or unique hairstyles, though it can get confusing if someone decides to change their hair or he meets a stranger with the same hat as his one friend. The easiest way for me to recognize someone is by their voice or calling their name and waiting for them to respond.

Have a nice day!

Mod Rot

Hi!

Usually I identify people by hairstyle or specific articles of clothing, although unique traits like a scar or red eyes would certainly help as confirmation! (Of course, personality as well--but speaking about visual traits, this is what I look for.)

I hate when people change their hairstyles, it makes them totally unrecognizable for a while. Often I can figure out who someone is a few minutes into a conversation, maybe shorter for people I know really well, but changes to big recognizable features throw me off. (Don't ask how many times I've been in conversations with people and had No Idea who I was talking to...)

So yes, it's realistic to go off facial features, although non-face features may be more common as an identifier. It's also realistic to mistake someone for another person entirely. I often think people look alike and they just are similar heights with similar hairstyles to non-face-blind people.

Joke-wise, I make fun of myself for not recognizing people. It's embarrassing, sure, but in hindsight it makes a good story. I don't like being teased about it, it makes me feel bad or inadequate that I can't recognize people. But when I do it? Funny story!

Mod Rock

Hello,

As someone with a similar condition (I've always heard it referred to as face blindness,) I use a few different things to recognize people;

Glasses. A lot of people I know have unique glasses and I use those to recognize them. I know this person because they have blue, red, and gold glitter in their glasses, and I know this person because she has electric teal wire-frame glasses.

Hair. This only works when people have an unusual hair colour or style. If someone has one side of their head buzzed, I recognize them by that. If someone has very long red hair, I recognize them by that.

I also look at distinct facial features. I know someone who wears red contacts and I recognize them by that. Something like a scar or very distinct facial features can help me recognize someone.

Voices. I'm not excellent at recognizing voice but I can recognize a distinct vocal quirk, like a Louisiana accent.

Context is also important. The biggest thing I struggle with is recognizing people out of their usual context. I struggle to recognize most of my old classmates outside of high school and school-related functions like graduation ceremonies. If I see an old classmate or even a family member in the drive-thru, it's hard to recognize them unless they have something distinct about them or I know them really well (such as if they were in my friend group.)

And then there are little things I pick up on that help me recognize people I wouldn't otherwise recognize. I work in a drive-thru so I can recognize a lot of people by their orders or by the cars they drive. I can recognize a few people based on their names when they order on the mobile app- if they order and don't use the app, it takes me a minute. I can recognize most of the regulars because they usually know my name and make conversation.

And yes, like you mentioned, personalities.

I didn't know I struggled to perceive and recognize faces for a very long time, I thought everyone was the same way. If it had never been pointed out to me, I probably still wouldn't know that I need to do things differently. It's not something that's easy to notice without outside help telling you that no, actually, most people can recognize people they know or even people they've met a few times.

So yes, he sounds very realistic based on my experience. He sounds like he has it pretty severely. And, by the way, the same situation happens to me all the time. And it's extremely embarrassing when it happens.

I make a lot of "I barely recognized you!" jokes with people who know I have face blindness. They aren't extremely funny but it's my way of saying "You've changed something about your appearance" or "Wow, it's been a long time!" I don't know of many face blindness jokes either, it's not something we often have the opportunity to joke about. If he draws people, he might make a joke about "Yeah, this probably isn't the best career" or "I know, don't quit my day job." Or he could do something kind of like Toph Beifong and react to someone else's art with "Don't worry, I think it looks exactly like the person." Maybe if they're looking for someone and he points out a random person like "Hey, there they are!" only for the group to realize he's messing with them?

Maybe you could repurpose some blind jokes and make them about "I can't recognize people" instead of about "I can't see"?

Mod Aaron

[captainclickycat]

So while we're on the subject, here are some other thoughts.

I found Neil Gaiman's online presence - and the more overzealous members of his fanbase - annoying. And please stay with me here, I promise this isn't me trying to be smug or claim I "knew all along" or anything. There's a huge gulf between finding someone a bit annoying and thinking that their behaviour online is less than stellar occasionally and suspecting them of being a sexual predator. I don't think there could have been any way of me "knowing all along" without reading everything in the worst possible faith, which I'm not willing to do and which I maintain is not a good or helpful approach in general. And to people who genuinely looked up to him and felt completely blindsided by the news, I'm really sorry. It wasn't your fault and I hope you can do something kind for yourself today.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. I didn't like the way he handled criticism of his work, a lot of the time. I don't think creators are obligated to personally listen to and address every negative opinion of their work, or explain every individual aspect of it that someone disliked. But I felt like a lot of his responses to feedback tended to lean into and encourage praise, while being a little disingenuous and sometimes belittling towards criticism. (And really, why feel the need to respond to everything when you could just ignore it?)

I didn't like the way he always felt the need to weigh in on fandom debates or throw out "word of god" explanations for this or that thing, including when nobody even asked. (Want to know who inspired the "I don't care what the author said" comment in my bio? Take a guess.) Especially when some of them felt engineered to paint him and his work in the best possible light.

Again, I'm not drawing attention to all this in an attempt to claim any one thing was a blatant red flag or must have been down to some sinister motivation. That's not the point I'm trying to make.

But it is one of the reasons that I was always deeply uncomfortable by the culture of hero-worship and "touch not god's anointed" that always seemed to exist around him. Like regardless of whether or not you thought this or that criticism against him was warranted, the way people would treat him like some kind of messiah who deserved nothing but praise and lose their absolute shit whenever anyone said anything remotely negative about him was absurd. Nobody deserves that, regardless of what they've done.

But at the same time... you know, I liked his work. Not just "I liked the stuff he co-wrote with someone else" or "I liked the films and TV shows he worked on with a whole bunch of other people." I liked the books he wrote by himself. They had some parts worth criticising, sure, what doesn't. But overall I thought they were well-written and funny and thought-provoking and I enjoyed myself when I was reading them. Neverwhere is the first book I had a crack at re-reading in a different language, which should tell you how much I liked it. And I didn't even dislike everything he posted on the internet. I thought some comments were pretty funny and/or insightful. I even reblogged the odd post.

And I wasn't all that vocal about any negative feelings I had towards him, because... well, frankly because a lot of the negative feelings I'd seen expressed by other people about him tended to look like "he's the devil incarnate, his work sucks, he's the worst person alive and he secretly hates every marginalised group and people should feel ashamed for sincerely liking his stuff."

And I didn't agree with that either! I didn't want to be roped in with those people. I didn't feel comfortable around them, any more than I felt comfortable around the Neil Gaiman Defense Squad, Working Tirelessly Day And Night To Aggressively Stamp Out Any Criticism Of Our Lord And Saviour.

And honestly I'm not entirely sure what kind of broader point I'm trying to articulate here, or whether I'm just working through stuff in my head. But I will say that this kind of polarising, zero-sum-game approach to criticism is... bad. It's just bad. It makes it so people are reluctant to put forward any kind of nuanced stance, for fear that they'll end up getting pigeonholed into one oversimplified category or another, or it ends up pushing people towards one extreme stance or another out of sheer frustration or contrariness. And it makes it incredibly difficult to have any kind of actually productive debate when it comes to criticising media, or criticising creators. Inevitably people's hackles are going to be up whichever side they lean towards more, and a lot of people with valuable input will inevitably end up going "yeah, I can see how that's a good point, but also the last person who brought this topic up with me deemed it appropriate to send me a barrage of messages telling me to kill myself about it, so forgive me if I'm not interested in engaging any further."

Obviously a culture of hero worship inevitably makes it a lot easier for predators to operate, and I have no doubt that being inundated with messages about how wonderful you are and how everyone who's criticising you is in the wrong must make it a lot easier to rationalise your actions. But I feel like this tendency to paint everything in terms of "are they a pure uwu blameless smol bean angel OR the devil incarnate" is incredibly unhelpful regardless of what side you come down on. The "devil incarnate" crowd can be part of the problem too.

[silversainz]

number 44

Lewis Hamilton x reader

Summary: Lewis loves the fact that even though you catch the attention of everyone else, he still has you all for himself.

requests combined: "half request/half just a late night thought but staff/race engineer!yn and lewis having a flirty relationship and lewis mentioning how he thinks it’s hot that ur work shirts all have lh44 on them specifically, teasing u and saying it makes him possessive, especially if team members of other teams flirt with u"

And "can i make a request about mercedes engineer! reader like u don’t have a big social media presence but ur friends with the merc social media admin and they post u and u go viral online for being hot and ppl wanting to know who u are and all day the team is affectionately teasing u for it except lewis who’s jealous bc he’s always flirted with u but u never thought twice of it thinking he’s like that with everyone. like he overhears another team crew member talk about u and he’s like 🙄"

warnings: fluff, flirty!lewis, light jealously, possessive aggressive behavior (but in a soft way?), petnames, flirty!reader, sexual tension, suggestive themes, sorry for taking ages to write this, crappy ending.

liked by, yourusername, sebastianvettel and 800,678 others

Mercedesamgf1 get you somebody who could rock the Mercedes merch as well as @.yourusername

User67 holy shit she's beautiful

user89 Lewis who? George who? Sorry I only know her

User90 she's gorgeous holy hell

User45 she's hot, marry me

user3 so beautiful, I would leave my wife for you

user67 she looks incredible! Glad to see her getting the recognization she deserves!

view all 9,000 comments

"look somebody said "so beautiful, I would leave my wife for her," everybody at the table laughed, including you. as you looked at all the comments on the Mercedes post with you in it.

"I don't think I've ever been this hit on in my entire life" you snorted at your own little comment, as everybody laughed again at your sad joke

"oh babe you haven't met me them" John, one of the youngest engineers said as he slid in the booth next to you, his arm going around your shoulder. "How you doing, I'm John" you gigged at his joke and jokingly shook his hand that he held out for you.

"well hello John" you said in the most flirtatious voice that you could ever pull on, and watched as his cheeks turned red.

"aww he's blushing" one of the other engineers David stated, making John go all shy and cover his face up with his hands.

"I hate y'all" you all laughed at poor John. you decided to make matters even worse and pinched his cheek "aww, but he's cute when he's blushing" and with that John jumped up from his seat and went to go sit back down beside David looking away from you embarrassed and cheeks growing even more red if that was possible.

"alright boys I need to head back to work" they all whined, but you ignored them and headed to the hallway making your way towards your motorhome that the team gave you, but stopping when you saw Lewis standing in the hallway learning against the wall with his phone in his hands.

"hey Lew, what are you here?" he looked up from his phone at the sound of your voice approaching him

"so you've never been hit on before huh?" you looked at him confused, but eyes going wide as the realization hit you. now it was your cheeks that turned red.

"were you spying on us Lew?" you crooked your head to the side, a cheek grin on your face.

"couldn't help myself, John was getting a little too friendly with something of mine"

"something of mine huh" you gave him a teasingly smile, but it soon dropping as he casually walked up to you while placing his hands on your hips.

"yes something of mine" you felt your breath get caught in your throat as you felt him pull himself closer to you, if that was even possible.

"you looked beautiful by the way on your first Instagram post" he leaned in towards your ear, his lips placing light kisses to your cheek making his way towards your jaw.

"Lew we're in public" your voice was shaky, afraid that somebody was going to see you and him practically pressed up against each other in the hallway.

"okay and" you felt his hand slide up your back, his fingers tracing over the two numbers that laid out across your back, number 44, as his other hand cupped your cheek making you look up at him as his finger played with your bottom lip.

"I love it when you wear my number on your body, you look gorgeous with it on" he leaned in giving your cheek a kiss, before he pulled away from your frame eyeing your figure up and down a smirk pulling at his lips. as he put his hands in his pocket.

"I'll see you around love" he gave you a wink as he turned on his heel walking from you, frozen in place, breathless and wanting to feel his hands on you again.

Lewis soon returned to the garage, making his way back over to his seat, which ironically was beside john. "Hey have you seen --, thought she was supposed to be coming out soon?" he fought the urge to roll his eyes at the kid.

"no I haven't seen her" his response was blunt and sharp, which made John give him a weird look and turn away from him.

"hey John, did you see the Mercedes post of ---" another engineer who wasn't sat at the table at the time, picked up his phone and showed John the photo. which made Lewis roll his eyes as he heard the two boys fan over you.

"yeah, she looked gorgeous and she's such a nice girl" again he ignored them

"yeah, I talked with her. she's amazing" and ignored

"plus her body-

and that was the final straw for him, he cleared his throat loud enough for the two boys to hear "can you two shut up, we're in a important meeting" Lewis stated cutting the two off, both boys immediately shutting up and giving him weird looks, but remained silent. Which he was thankful for.

you walked out of your motorhome, files in your arms, freshened up and a different shirt on which now had George's numbers on it. as you walked into the garage, you noticed John and Scott and walked over to them

"hey there she is!" you laughed at John's loud voice and shushed him, white sitting down beside him. you noticed Lewis giving you a glare, as he eyes the now different shirt. But you ignored it and focused on toto who made his way into the garage with multiple files for the new car parts.

As the meeting ended and everybody got up from their seats, you looked around before going over to Lewis "you changed shirts" he said before you could even get a word out.

"yeah figured I needed to wear someone else" he rolled his eyes, jaw clenched tightly.

"looked better when it was my number" he looked up at you, a little tent in his eyes that clearly showed he was a little mad at how you changed shirts.

but you only shrugged, a innocent smile on your face "oh well, I like George's number better. looks better on me" you giggled as you saw his knuckles turn white from gripping onto the table so hard.

he said nothing as he got up from the table his hand grabbing onto yours as he pulled you away from everybody, not caring that they gave you both Weird looks as they saw you both leaving with each other

"Lewis slow down." He did in fact not slow down until you both were standing in front of his motorhome, where he unlocked the door and pushed you inside, relocking it once he was inside with you.

"so, you planning on kidnapping me from them?" he shook his head at your words, giving you a light chuckle.

"nope just wanted some alone time with you" he confessed, as he slowly walked up to you, his hands immediately cupping your face as he cashed his lips on yours. the kiss was slow and tender at first, like it was your first kiss. but it slowly turned sloppy and rough as he backed you up against the nearest wall, your leg automatically wrapping around his waist.

"you looked much better with my number on"

"well, why don't you take this off me then" you taunted him, his hand playing with the hem of your shirt. making you lift up your arms as he took the shirt off your body, the black tank top underneath still covering you up

"see, you look even better like this" he leaned forward, placing lingering kisses to your neck. "so, so much better like this" he pulled himself away from you going over to sit on the couch where he patted his lap making you walk over to him straddling his lap, his hands stroking the back of your thighs.

"so about earlier, 'something of mine'" you raised your eyebrows at him, making him shrug clearly not thinking much if his words.

"what I don't like when people flirt with something of mine, is that so bad?" He said, his hand going under your tank top making goosebumps appear on your skin as his cold hand hit your warm skin.

"since when was I considered yours"

he tilted his head pretending to think, "since last week. When you came over to my place and you let me have you all night long" you looked at him in shock, mouth sightly open as you felt your cheeks turn red at his bold words of truth.

"I think you know what I'm talking about, no"

"I hate you" you leaned forward burying your head in his chest, getting embarrassed. the air in the room getting hotter and hotter as each second passed. he chuckled at your embarrassment and softly messed with your hair

"no you don't. now look at me" you slowly lifted up your head from his chest "you're mine right" he asked again, his hand coming to rest on your collarbone, awaiting your response.

"course I am"

"of course you are"

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires- Part 2

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 698

Masterlist

I can't wait for you to come back, and on Monday, you do.

Don't get me wrong, (Y/n), I've tried to look you up. I'm sure you understand why. You can’t blame a guy for being careful. These days, you have to find out everything you can about a person before getting involved with them.

But for someone who seems to enjoy attention so much in real life, you have almost no online presence. Your social media are all on private, and Googling your name left me with very little information. I found a high school picture of you, with some Dutch text that - when translated to English - amounts to basically nothing.

Anyway, you're back now. You meet my eyes for a second as you come in, but then you disappear between the isles. I try not to keep track of where you are too much, but it's impossible not to notice you.

You're wearing light blue jeans and a long-sleeved shirt today. There's text on it, but I haven't been able to read it yet. You're also wearing a beanie. Bad hair day? You can't be cold, it's still the middle of summer.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you come to the counter.

Today's book is The Handmaid's Tale. You're in the mood for something shocking.

“Hello again,” I say.

You seem pleasantly surprised.

“You remember me? I thought for sure I would have gotten lost in a sea of faces. I mean, this is New York.”

“No, of course I remember. Dutch girl. Joyland,” I tell you, as if I don't remember your name at all. As if my search history isn't currently all you.

You smile, glance at my nametag. I noticed you didn't do that last time.

“(Y/n),” you remind me. “And you're… Joe.”

“Guilty. Joe Goldberg.”

You look up, meeting my eyes. Yours are brown. The text on your shirt says ‘No inspiration today, sorry.’

“So did you like it?” I ask, as I ring you up. “Joyland, I mean.”

“It was good,” you say. “I tore through it in a day.”

Yet you stayed away for nearly a week. You don't want to seem too eager.

“Well, you'll like this one,” I say. “Or hate it. It's very morbid.”

“I like morbid,” you assure me, as you hand me your card. “And creepy.”

“The Handmaid's Tale probably can't be qualified as creepy, sorry to disappoint.”

“Isn't it about women who are forced to breed? It sounds creepy to me.”

When you put it like that, I guess you're not wrong.

I wonder if you like scary movies. We could go to one, together. Afterward, you wouldn't want to sleep alone.

“Well,” I say. “You'll have to let me know if you found it creepy, then, I guess.”

You hesitate. Then, you say: “Not to sound weird, but maybe I could let you know over text?” You pause, waiting for me to answer. When I don't immediately (because I can't believe my luck), you rush to add: “This isn't a come-on. I would never, like, flirt with someone who has to be nice to me. You're working, y'know? It's just… I only just moved here, and I haven't made many friends–”

I hold up my hand, smiling.

“I didn't think it was a come-on. Texting sounds good. Do you have your phone?”

When you get it from your pocket, I tell you my number, and you put it in your contacts. You're careful about it, I notice. You don't want to get a single number wrong.

You look up at me, then pick up your book. You're breezing out again, but that's okay, because you're going to come back. Even better: you're going to text me.

Today is a good day.

Behind me, there's a whistle. I turn, and Ethan is grinning at me.

“Did a girl just ask for your number? Lucky.”

“Go stock the shelves, Ethan.”

“I already did.” Ethan shakes his head. “Why are all the pretty girls who come here always into you? Leave some tail for the rest of us, man.”

‘Tail.’ Disgusting. Ethan makes everything sound sordid. Even something as beautiful as you.

[the5thcellar]

Hi, I recently stumbled upon your blog and I am so glad I did! While I’m very sorry for all the troll hate you’ve received, I like the sassy way you’re handling them. I’m trying to find the humor in why so many people are pressed and feel like they need to defend something that you haven’t even denied is real. And just because you have a different opinion, they cannot handle it. Reading your responses, and reading the responses of other people with whom I share similar sentiments, has made me laugh and feel better over the last week. I’ve been desperately trying to find other posts/people that have similar vibes because this whole… situation-ship has been a bit much. I also appreciate your reminder that “no matter how good a man seems, trying to justify anything they do is still a sure path to disappointment!” 

I was wondering if you had any thoughts about Luke’s social media lately? I’ve read some points about how messy his social media presence has been handled (or mishandled) over the past year+ and how it did not help with the way everything played out. Also, I feel like he’s either turned on notifs for Nic because he’s been very diligent about liking all her posts, or maybe, he’s finally gotten a team to handle it. I just feel like everyone is in crisis comms mode, trying to wrangle back control. Just genuinely curious because it’s what I’ve been pondering over for the last day or two. Thank you in advance for your time if you answer my ask!

I'm so sorry this took me awhile - I started replying it in the morning on the way to work but decided I needed to gather my thoughts more.

To the first part: I completely empathise with how the entire situation has just been so "much" - it really has. It seems so silly, but somehow, whether or not two people I DON'T KNOW are in love or not in love, are best friends or are not best friends - can affect so much of my mental and emotional wellbeing.

I know I'm being parasocial (it seems to be the internet buzzword of the moment). But let's be clear: almost EVERYONE online - everyone who has written in to my ask box, who has commented, who has liked - everyone on twitter and tiktok who has talked about this - they're all just as parasocial. Because we're all assuming and casting aspersions on people we do not personally know. No one online who engages in discourse has the moral or ethical high ground. We are ALL in the gutter together (that said - I believe the gutter has many levels 😂).

IN ANY CASE - I just want to assure you that what you're feeling is not some atypical affliction. It is normal to feel awful that something you believed in and something you felt happy about is untrue. It is normal to look for other people who feel the same because misery is always better with company. It is normal to feel disappointed even as you remind yourself that men have been useless since the dawn of time.

The best counter to all these sad, awful feelings is to remember that life is a cycle. That life is complex. And although I'm saying this for the millionth time - that life has many, many grey areas.

As a kid I thought Zanessa was everything. Then they broke up, and she got together with Austin whom I hated. For years I seethed at the very mention of them. And after almost a decade... they also broke up. And not even 2 years after that, she's married and with child.

For a long time I also thought Brangelina was everything - you can't imagine my devastation when they divorced and I found out Brad is a complete dirtbag. But at the same time that I felt this horrible upset - I'm sure TONS of other people were feeling vindicated because they were fans of Jen A.

There are just SO MANY other stories like that. I mean come on - JLo and Ben Affleck. On again, off again, finally made it to the altar ... and now they're headed for divorce.

Chris and Mariska - both married to other people for 27 bloody years (or maybe longer) - and still making it very clear they are each others soulmates - and NOT platonic ones btw.

Tony and Kerry - WHAT EVEN ARE THEY? Perhaps the only pair on the internet that has people rooting for cheating and affairs 😂

Lessons: don't let a long term boyfriend stop you from finding a husband. Don't let a husband stop you from finding your soulmate. Don't let your soulmate stop you from engaging in a late, great love affair.

All crazy, contradicting statements distilled from all the above real life stories.

It makes one thing very clear to me: I can believe what I want to believe about Luke and Nicola. Because no one fucking knows what is in the future. They could get together next month. Next year. When they're in their 70s. No one can tell me SHIT about what I believe - not when life is clearly full of incredible twists and turns.

So fuck it. Fuck the haters and the antis and the naysayers. I can ship them till the day I die and no one can tell me any different. Because how could they? They literally canNOT !

To the second part: this is an easy answer and there's no need to think too much into it. Luke's social media has simply undergone an extensive renovation by his agents and team in anticipation of him becoming a big star (whether or not that will actually happen remains to be seen). All highly personal, "non-aesthetic" posts of his have been archived - his posts are all related to work and his coworkers. He has many posts with Nicola because he / his team knows those get the most engagement - and the more engagement he gets, the better the IG algorithm works in his favour to push his OTHER, non-Nicola or Bridgerton related posts to people's feeds. I don't think anyone is in crisis comms mode tbh. Maybe Nicola panicked a bit after she posted that tiktok that everyone took wildly out of context. But beyond that I don't think the wider audience gives af who he's dating - it seems like his personal life is very big news only because we keep searching about it and talking about it and so it feels like EVERYONE is. But if you step outside the online bridgerton fandom bubble ..... no one cares. There is a HEFTY portion of netflix viewers who watch bridgerton without EVER going online to read about the actors.

Long story short I think Nicola and Luke will become even MORE conscious about what they post - but I don't believe there was a crisis in the true sense of the word. And although Luke's team clearly handles his socials he obviously has access to it as well. Btw - all celebs have someone who handles their socials I'm sure Nic does too, just that she's also on her own account a lot. I don't know if Luke has his notifs on for Nicola's posts but even if he does I don't believe his consistent likes mean anything much. I mean...he also diligently likes all of Antonia's posts 😂

Social media isn't much of an indicator of honesty to me ... as someone whose work heavily involves it, everything is curated to a disgusting degree.

What I put more stock in is what we can see - and what we can see of them when they DON'T think about being seen - which is to say, all the unconscious, natural moments between Nicola and Luke - the vibe around them both, and the easy way they breathe and exist together.

That's what makes me such a big believer in their bond.

[nhothicket]

Ever create a band au even though you cant draw instruments?

more info below the cut :>

Meet Bdubs, 38, stage name BdoubleO - Boomer is often mistaken for his first name, but is just another nickname for the pile. Infamous online, if it weren't for the fact that he makes disgustingly good music he would probably have more hate followers than genuine fans. The line between charming asshole and just asshole is one he fails to tread lightly most days, but he's mostly harmless. Let's just say the Bdoubleo could also stand for boorish. A bit of a sellout, but he enjoys what he does and many appreciate his extremely.. candid attitude. Best likened to a cartoon villain dressed as a rockstar, with the ego to match. (It's usually his unrelenting pretentiousness that gets him into Twitter spats.)

Thank you @foxden-frontier for always helping out with my stupid aus ^v^

Annoying at worst, unfortunately very charismatic at best. You could say he's a softie at heart, but that implies its at all difficult to spot. Once he's done "clapping back at all the haters", in person he's still got a temper (he thinks he has a bad boy reputation to uphold) but is enthusiastically friendly.

Etho, 32, resident keytarist of creatively named band Canadian Bacon. Joined by his two best friends, Pause the frontman and bassist, and Beef their drummer. A deceptively popular band if judging by their permanent rough draft name and their nerdy-college-student dress code. Etho himself is just a guy who likes playing music with his buddies, their hobby having blown up under their noses. Now, as an unfortunately successful touring artist, Etho's anonymity is scarce, but he continues to wear his mask to discourage widespread photos of his face. In spirit. He's concerned about having his face plastered all over fan accounts, which still occurs, but a perk of having a completely rabid fanbase is that many will defend your boundaries to their last dying breath. Like his face, his legal name is out and about online, but its similarly discouraged. Best likened to just a guy.

If asked on the subject of his scar, the entire band has various different whimsical stories, brand new everytime. His lack of internet presence means Pause and Beef are free to make up whatever misinformation about him as they please completely unchecked (in jest of course), and they do take advantage of that. Many of these alternative facts are passed around on wikis and in fan circles.

To say Bdubs is jealous of Canadian Bacon's popularity is an understatement. They weren't even trying at all and yet they're the hot shit? But instead of putting that jealousy to hatred (which he had considered of course) he's instead set himself on proving himself. And if that means impressing Etho then so be it. Why does it mean impressing Etho? Good question, never ask it again. They say keep your enemies close, and Bdubs' enemies don't deserve personal space.

As it turns out, Etho wasn't too difficult to impress or maybe Bdubs was just that amazing. Either way, they end up hitting it off. Their friendship is an interesting one, mostly because Etho's fans basically hunt Bdubs for sport online. We're talking scribbled out of pictures, get behind me, #FreeEtho. Etho thinks he seems pretty cool though, if not a bit much sometimes, so no harm no foul.

Okay, rapid fire, some other notes for this au.

> Etho's legal name is Ethel. Because it is. My heart is so set on it. But if you're boring, Ethan or Ezekiel or something work too I guess.

> Etho's keytar mimics a more traditional guitar in most cases, though he's known to experiment a lot with how far he can push that.

> Etho's scar is from a mugging in this au, not a very fun story to tell. Beef practicing his brand new razor blade throwing hobby or fighting a bear to beat Pause in a bet is much more entertaining.

> Canadian Bacon is meant to have a manager, but I couldn't think of anyone I felt fit. Just a note.

> Bdubs has a habit of grabbing Etho by his tie and pulling him down to his level or otherwise using it as a leash. Etho doesn't usually wear the tie outside of show stuff or interviews, but he wears it around Bdubs because thinks its funny. When there's no tie that doesn't stop Bdubs, collars and hoodie strings are subject to the same usage.

> Etho isn't aware of how infamous Bdubs is when they meet as they meet at a festival with a big group of other musicians. Most of which already know Bdubs as his more excitable friendly self. He only finds out later when Bdubs complains about Etho's fans flaming him anytime he mentions him.

> Bdubs still has a self-imposed curfew, 10pm every night unless it conflicts with a show. He needs his beauty sleep.

> The trigger reason for the animosity toward Bdubs is due to being blamed by fans for the split of his last band that had a pretty hardcore cult following (OOG, I've not named their band yet), and that has since snowballed into what it is today, despite his actions being relatively harmless. To note, this was not an assumption at all promoted by either party, it was entirely a fanmade judgement.

> For those who can, picture s5 jungle Bdubs mixed with drunken OOG(E) ctm maps for his approximate personality. Still goofy but with a sharper tongue and a lot worse of a temper.

> Originally I considered Cleo as Bdubs' manager so he's not all alone in narrative sense, I still think it's not a bad idea I'd love to see her chew him out for acting like a moron. Ren or Scar would be also be options for manager.

> Bdubs needs a touring band, but I'm not well versed enough in the hermits to actually pick one out. Just a note.

Okay, that's most of it! There's some more pg-13 headcanons for this au, along the lines of fuck yeah rock'n roll lifestyle, but it's not really important I'm sure just that is enough to get the gist of it. Thank you for reading this overly long note. ^v~