#so i guess im gonna sit here and suffer

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i’m so fucking stupid, why did i agree to this.. it’s just hurting me.. but as long as you’re happy i guess

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

[adhbabey]

Just gonna say it as like... Someone who isn't a trans man or a transmasc... The way people go out of their way to gaslight and deny trans men's experiences is insane. Like I've seen the term "transandrophobia truther" before and it's like uh... Yeah... Trans men who were born and assigned female at birth then grow up figuring out they're trans do experience oppression and discrimination- to act like it's climate change denial or anti-vaxx stuff is insane.

Like do people just think that pure misogyny is the worst thing in the world to experience??? Like are people out here not absolutely distanced from the white feminist movement, just because it's all about reproductive organs and uhm... Not much else?

And not to minimize the feminist movement in any way, but not just women get assaulted and more than cis women get their bodies denied medical treatment or get treatment forced upon them.

So I don't understand, that people aren't critically thinking and realizing that the people who grew up in a feminine body, femininely socialized, are being erased the same way that cis women who were unconventional have always been erased. And that the men and mascs who've noticed something different about them don't get autonomy or a voice.

Like, you're not going to sit here and tell me that trans men are privileged and aren't oppressed for their unique position in being trans.

I just... I don't understand why people assume that the only one oppressed is them.

I just saw someone say, the other day, "OP is a transandrophobia truther, everyone point and laugh"... How sad of a life do you have to live in order to try to one up someone else's oppression and suffering? Im not even a trans man, and I don't need to be, in order to see that this is it's own form of oppression, as erasure and gaslighting of real people's experiences.

You don't know better, you haven't lived it. Why not try listening to the people crying out, instead of shaming them for coming out.

I guess they don't teach some feminists to practice what they preach, because it's just extremely hypocritical.

[saiintvalentiine]

hello............ loyalty duo werewolf au..................... im gonna start posting bits and bobs here and there of things ive written that dont really have anywhere else to go. no promises on if this will be continued, but i. i do love me some werewolves........................ divider

Warnings for vague descriptions of injuries and implied torture. The writing and editing is kinda rough, sorry for any major errors :')

Wordcount: 1,087

“Werewolves don't exist,” is what the voice says. “What the fuck, werewolves do not exist!”

The muzzle hurts. It's too tight for his face. But he doesn't move from where he's laid, a bloodied heap slowly healing from his wounds. Every full moon he's dragged into this bedrock room after his fights, and every full moon he tries to escape while adrenaline is still flowing through him, and every full moon he suffers the consequences of thinking they can’t possibly stop him this time. He's too tired to fight this new voice, their scent uniquely cat-like and hovering above him. His eyes are too swollen. He's cried quite a bit. It's hard to stop when he's like this.

“Shit, I guess werewolves exist. Fuck. This isn't what I thought was gonna happen when they said there was dog fighting.”

The voice hovers closer, and he tries to shy away. Something is— broken, probably, in his leg, and his claws are cut through the quick, but he tries anyway to press against the wall.

“Hey, hey hey hey, no, I'm not gonna hurt you,” the voice pitches down, softens, and the part of his mind that can't bear another moment of cruelty forces a whimper out of his mouth. “Oh that's— I'm not gonna hurt you, I'm here to get you out, yeah? We're gonna leave. We're gonna leave riiiiight now, right now, I scared everyone else out, it's just you and me now.”

He's not sure he believes the voice, but beyond the walls, there is a terrifying, blessed silence. Whatever this voice did to everyone else, it could probably do to him. He's in no shape to fight it off.

“Hey,” the voice is even quieter now. “It said outside the door that your name is Wifies. Is that you? Wifies?”

He recognizes the name as the one they call him when he's not like this. He can't make any meaningful noise with his muzzle on, but he tries for. . . a purr, something in his chest that isn't a growl.

“Okay. Wifies. Okay Wifies, I'm Ken. You look too big for me to carry, so we need to work together to get you out of here, yeah?” there's some rustling, and Ken curses. He can't help the way he curls up further. “I brought all my escape kits but not a single healing pot. I'm an idiot.”

Getting up from his curled up spot sounds impossible, but his nails are already growing back in as jagged spikes, so he knows he can do it. He struggles to get his arms beneath him, hoisting himself up after a few false starts. Using his good leg, he twists around to sit and lean against the wall. That little bit of effort has him panting, or panting as much as he can within the metal restraints of his muzzle. He peels his eyes open, ignoring the sting.

“Hoooooooly shit,” Ken mutters, staring up at him. He's a head taller than Ken like this. “I definitely can't carry you, my God.”

Ken is dressed in all black, a brown strap across his chest and a bag hanging off his back. He's a cat hybrid, which explains the smell. His ears and eyes and whip-thin tail are split between a candied green and a golden orange. As soon as his blood stops rushing through his ears, he can hear Ken's heart beating, fast and skipping.

He can't make himself any smaller if he's meant to walk. He lowers his head and puts his ears back.

“Nooo, no no no, it's— you make yourself very small very well. Um, okay, let's— how am I gonna get you out of here?”

His bad leg still hurts, but if he can leave. . . He digs his palms into the bedrock behind him and pushes himself to stand. His weight, as paltry as it is for a wolf his size, causes his bad knee to buckle. Ken yelps. He withstands the shaking, burning pain of it to stand up properly.

“They don't chain you up anywhere?” Ken asks, eyes darting around the room. “I've got a netherite axe. I could definitely split any chain.”

Chains were no good. Once his nails grow back, they're easy to shred. He stares down at Ken.

“Jeez, you're huge, good fucking grief.”

He lumbers forwards towards Ken, and the darkened double doors of his cell. Ken takes a step back, then another, then turns around to push the doors open to their absolute maximum. He hunches over to squeeze through.

The hallway is just as dark as the cell, uninterrupted bedrock as far as he can see.

“It's a bit of a labyrinth. Just follow me.”

Ken hesitates for a moment before weaving his way through the halls. He follows, a loud, thudding, limping pace that should have alerted every single creature around to his presence. But it's just Ken’s feather-light footfalls and him. Whatever Ken did to clear the place out was absurdly successful. 

As they turn another indistinct corner, he sees— moonlight. It pools onto the floors, sweet and cool and calling to him. There's a hole blown through the bedrock, the sparkling smell of redstone surrounding it, and he scrabbles around Ken to squeeze through it. Tumbling onto soft, dewey grass (grass, real grass, when had he ever felt such a thing?) he loses all strength and lays on his back, staring up at the full moon.

She's so huge. He's never seen Her before, had just known when She was full or new in his core. But here She is. She is huge and beautiful and he feels, for the first time ever, at peace.

Ken hops out of the hole and steps closer, crouching next to him.

“Hey buddy,” Ken says. “Do you think I can take the muzzle off?”

He shakes his head, then growls for good measure— a soft growl, low and short to not intimidate Ken too much. He can't explain that the muzzle was put on when he was smaller, that it can’t be removed when he’s like this. Or, it can, but it’ll hurt so much he might cry again. Better to let Ken believe that it’s impossible, just in case.

“That's a no. Okay. Well, we should probably leave soon before anyone realizes anything,” Ken looks up at the sky before swinging back and sitting down in the grass, sighing. “But I don't think sitting here for a little longer can hurt.”

Wifies purrs and basks in the moonlight.

[dirtybitfic]

Therapy pt.1

matt sturniolo x y/n

Story contains- language, talking about sexual fantasies and issues, kinks, therapy session.

Pink-you purple- Leslie your best friend. blue -matt. orange the receptionist

story line- you start therapy to help with issues you had with partners in the past and not knowing how to fix them and feeling like your not finding people who match your wants and needs in the bedroom.

Y/n pov-

I just got ready to head to my first sex therapy session. I'm honestly mortified I even have to do this in the first place but Leslie my best friend said it would be helpful.

One week ago..

y/n I love you but you really need to go to someone professional about this

no absolutely not . im not going to a random person to try and figure out my sex issues .

I'm serious it can be really beneficial ! do you want to suffer for the rest of your life with partners who won't give you what you want or do you want to talk to a trained therapist who can help you find the right way to find what you want and why you want it

ughh I don't know I just don't like talking to people I don't know about shit like this .

I know it makes you anxious but some of your fantasies are a bit... extravagant and this therapist might be able to help you understand why you want things like that you know find out the underlying details you might not see for yourself

okay you have a point there.. okay maybe ill go once and if I like it ill stick with it if not then I won't go back

Yeah what's the worst that could happen

I blame you if it goes to shit

yeah yeah whatever your so dramatic

Present time

Im not gonna lie i'm so nervous about this whole thing. I never liked therapy in general . I only like talking about my life with people I trust so talking to a stranger about my sex problems sounds like hell.

Maybe Leslies right though this could end well and I might enjoy it but ... probably fucking not.

I just pulled up to the building and parked in the parking deck I was already 9 minutes late since parking in down town L.A is horrible so obviously thats not helping my anxiety at all.

I made my way to the lobby of the 26 story building and took the elevator up to the 20th floor.

walking out I noticed the seating area was very spacious but also dull.

all the furniture was black and white . Everything looked so clean and pristine I was almost scared to touch anything. As I walked up to the reception desk the young woman noticed me and smiled.

Hey you must be y/n . Your here for the 7:00 appointment right?

yes hi im so sorry im late parking was a mess

no worries matts last appointment is running a little behind anyways.Take a seat and ill let you know when to head back

okay thank you

I took a seat on one of the black couches and scrolled on my phone trying to busy my mind

After about 10 more minutes a couple walked out of the long hallway looking very pissed off and on edge .

I averted my attention back to my phone to avoid awkward eye contact.

Y/n Matt is ready for you if you'd like to head back

okay thank you

I make my way down the long hallway slowly still unsure of going through with this or not.

I reach the doors and softly push one open and walk in .

A man who im guessing is matt is sitting in a chair at a desk facing out to the windows so I can only see the back of his head.

I softly clear my throat.

hi Mr.sturniolo im y/n

he jolts in his chair

Oh hi im sorry your so quiet I didn't hear you come in he says as he spins around to face you and your breathe catches in your throat .

He is the most attractive man you've ever seen . Dark hair with bright blue eyes, nice stubble and tattoos adorned his left arm. Maybe this won't be so bad

I hold eye contact not saying anything but smiling awkwardly.

oh sorry please have a seat and we can get started

I take a seat in the chair opposite to him and softy set my phone on my lap and purse on the ground.

so y/n what made you choose to come see me

umm well it was a suggestion my beat friend made she said that it might help me work out some things that I might not be seeing for my self

okay well lets start off with your relationship backgrounds . How many relationships have you had and how long were they

well i've only had two real relationships. The first one was when I was a sophomore in high school it was about 6 months and my second one was my during summer going into sophomore year of college it was about 3 months.

okay ... why would you say the first relationship didn't work out?

Umm I don't know . He was pretty verbally abusive and made me feel bad about myself . He closed me off From my friends and threw temper tantrums in front of my parents which was very embarrassing but after a while I got fed up with the way he treated me even after I asked him to fix some things that I didn't like and he didn't so I broke up with him.

okay and how was the sexual relationship with him

I mean pretty good id say its one of the only reasons I stuck around for so long

okay so what made it good .?What are some things he did that you enjoyed?

well I don't know . He let me keep my shirt on so I liked that

he chuckled a little bit at your answer .

okay thats ... nice but name things he did that made you feel good . Did he talk you through it . touch you in a way that made you feel good ... things like that

yeah I mean he was my first everything . He would choke me which is something that I like ... he would give me hickeys in only places we could see which I thought was hot I guess. He would I guess praise me a little which made me feel good .

okay and did he ever prioritize your pleasure over his

n-no not really I mean he never made me cum

You were with him for 6 months and he didn't make you cum at all?

no I mean he would make me ummm you started to get nervous for some reason not wanting to say squirt.

So he made you squirt but never gave you a full orgasm

yeah

okay and what about the second relationship

well it was more of a glorified situationship but he was great until he wasn't . He treated me well always made me feel pretty and wanted. The sex was fucking amazing I mean he was the only man who ever gave me head and I used to hate the idea of having a man go down on me I still kinda do but he was so good at it . And he made me you know uh squirt a lot but again never made me orgasm or he'd have me right at the brink of orgasming and then he'd cum and that was it. But after 2 and a half months he got distant said he was going through a lot and pretty much ghosted me for 2 weeks so I broke it off and never spoke to him again.

okay and what are things he did during sex that you enjoyed.

well he would choke me and he'd degrade me which is something I love and he would slap me which I did have to ask him to do but he did it willingly and he would talk to me a lot during it which I liked especially when id be over stimulated and id be crying and he'd hold me closer but made me take it which I found really attractive . He also bit my shoulder sometimes which for some reason I liked . He also liked to leave hands prints on my ass which I loved too and I loved leaving scratch marks on his back and he also enjoyed it .

okay so what ive gathered so far is you like being choked , its easier for you squirt than it is to orgasm , you have a pain kink, you like receiving and leaving marks, you like impact play and with an educated guess your a submissive.

Y-yeah I mean you got all that from such little information...

well I mean it is my job y/n he smiles at you causing you to smile back .

That is true you say with a quite laugh

so what are somethings that you feel were missing from your past sexual partners or maybe somethings you wanted them to do but were too afraid to bring up

well I mean obviously Id like to find a man who Puts in the effort to make me cum . I also guess I wish id like my partners to be more vocal even if its just sounds I like to know im doing a good job and that I make them feel good. I also wish they would make me call them specific names... sometimes I don't find it hot to moan their names so I just don't . I also would like someone who fully dominates me you know bosses me around tells me exactly what to do and how to do it. I also wish that I could fully voice what I want but when I try I pussy out.

okay so obviously they haven't fully satisfied your wants and needs in the past. How do you usually feel after sex?

I guess used in a way . I haven't really had a guy yet who takes care of me after . They all have just gotten up threw me a towel to clean myself off and then I get dressed and leave.

so you crave the intimate parts as well as the sex. You want to feel taken care of after and not just like they got what they want and thats all

yeah exactly I mean thats why I haven't really had sex in a while I started to have a lot of mental challenges with myself and it created a lot of body image issues and I just got tired of feeling used

im sorry they made you feel that way. I think what a lot of guys fail to realize is girls minds are very different . They don't think the way they treat a girl after has that much effect but it does and ive seen through the years the toll that it can take on younger woman's minds that can even lead to eating disorders. Its very important to make woman feel loved and take care of even if the sex is rough and after they do something so small like running a bath to help you relax small things can really make a difference

exactly I want something like that but I feel like I always go for emotionally immature men who just see me as a piece off ass and get what they want then leave I just feel like its hard to find a man who will fit my every want and desire but I don't want to keep lowering my standards just so I can get fucked once and a while

You shouldn't have to lower your standards for that but it does sounds like being celibate isn't something you're happy about he says with a look on his face that you cant exactly read .

well no I mean I like having sex honestly sometimes I think I like it a bit too much . Im horny a lot and don't get me wrong toys are great but its never quite the same and having someone on top of me making me feel good

I understand what you mean . Don't take this the wrong way but do you think that you might be a sex addict

i... well maybe I don't know you say as your face gets red with embarrassment .

do you think that maybe looking into something like a bdsm club would be worth a try . Judging by the things you like that you've told me so far you need a dominant who not only wants to pleasure you but enjoys giving you everything you want

I don't know ive looked into it but they all seem weird and sketchy .

Well what is your dream man explain what he would look like what he would do to you that would meet your every deep desire

well I like a man who's taller than me who I can stand next to and feel small compared too but also feel protected by. I like a man who looks dark and mysterious kind of like if he walked into a room people would feel on edge and a bit scared. I like a man with dark hair and light eyes preferably with tattoos that has an energy to him that makes me feel slightly in danger even though im not. I want a man who asks me my kinks and fantasies and has no problem making them a reality .

And what is your darkest fantasy . one you've never told anybody he says leaning closer to you over the desk making your breathe hitch .

He narrows his eyes on you as he notices your breathing pattern changing and the way your thighs rub together as you squirm in your chair. With how attractive he is and the way he pins you down with his eye contact and all the sex talk it has you wet and horny.

I don't know if you really want to hear about that to be honest you'll probably think im crazy

I would never think that y/n you have to remember I hear about things like this on a day to day bases its nothing that I probably haven't heard before.

okay c-can I look in my notes app thats where I have them written in full detail

of course also lets move to the couch this seat gets uncomfortable after sitting in it all day

okay you say as you slowly get up making your way to the couch and taking a seat in the middle

he stands adjusting his pants and taking off his tie setting in on his chair as he unbuttons a couple of the top buttons of his dress shirt getting more comfortable since your his last client of the day.

he comes over and sits almost knee to knee with you causing your breathing to accelerate at the closeness between you both.

whenever your ready to share go ahead I promise this is a safe space I will not judge you

okay . Well my fantasy takes place in a grave yard...

okay scence set he says smiling over at you

well it starts off with me taking a walk in the grave yard kind of late and its dark and foggy as I make my way to the far back where there's tress and the larger graves I hear a branch snap like someone is watching me causing me to get nervous and a bit scared but I keep walking back further till I hit old decrepit stairs that lead into catacombs . As I make my way to the stairs I hear more branches snapping and look into the woods to see a man in a mask watching me as he slowly makes his way to me before I run down the stairs causing his to chase after me into the catacombs and before I can get father away he grabs me by my hair causing me to slam back into his big tall frame and fear to flood my body . Then he drags me into one of the open rooms with skulls adorning the walls and throws me on the ground ripping my clothes off and tying my hands behind my back so I cant move them or push him away as he slides into me roughly from the back and he fucks me so hard im crying and shaking under as he tells me how wet I am for him and how much of a good girl I am for letting him take me like this and makes beg him to let me cum so many times im crying and shaking . I also think it would be hot for him to create small cuts in my back with a knife every time I cum until they make up his initials in my back and he fills me to the brim with his cum.

you finally finish reading it and take a deep breathe even scared to look at him not wanting to see his face

y/n look at me

I cant

and why not he says in a deep raspy tone

because I just cant

he moves his hand to your back sliding up slowly until he reaches the back of your head tugging on your scalp causing you to gasp as he forces you too look at him.

I said I would not judge you and I meant that but when I tell you to look at me I expect you to treat me with respect and do as your told

y-yes mr sturniolo im sorry you wince when he lets go of the strong grip he had in your hair .

You were already wet from reading your dirtiest fantasy to him but then he did that and now you were a fucking water fall you could feel it seeping through your thong under your skirt.

you stare at him as he stares back as you with darkened eyes that have you melting into the couch feeling intimidated by the way he is looking at you so intensely.

there's a knock on the door causing you both to break out of the trance you were in and look over .

hey mr sturniolo I was just coming in to check if everything was okay its 20 minutes after my clock out time...

oh im so sorry Kayla you can head out we have some things to finish up on im sorry for holding you over

its okay see you Monday morning

she walks out leaving you and matt alone again.

if you need to go I understand I didn't realize we went over time

no its okay we still have some more stuff to talk about and to be honest I don't have anywhere to rush too

alright then what else do we have to talk about

what about this fantasy excites you the most

um I guess the fear of not knowing who's under the mask but also the fact they followed me I guess it makes me feel special and that he put in that much effort just to get me

Okay so fear turns you on?

I mean I guess but only in certain scenarios

okay so lets say you lived in a big house with a lot of land and you didn't have close neighbors and you had a stalker and he showed up every night watching you from far away . Is that something that would turn you on

yeah I mean the books I read have definitely tainted my mind but yes that would turn me on

what about having a stalker turns you on?

I guess the fact that they are so obsessed with me they feel the need to stalk and watch me

so you like the feeling of knowing someone is obsessed with you

yeah it would make me feel special I guess I don't know saying that out loud sounds concerning

no it doesn't I think you like attention you like knowing that someone is watching you and waiting to pounce on you when they want . You like thinking of someone taking you when they want and not having a say don't you

yeah I guess

so im guessing you also have a consensual non consensual kink ?

yeah you sigh . its kind of concerning how good he is at guessing your kinks and finding ways to get the information out of you without you having to just straight out say it. It honestly makes it less awkward .

so with the cnc kink what about it do you like?

I guess the fighting back I like to push buttons see how much of a fight I can put up until they finally brake and take their anger out on me

so your a brat?

excuse me you ask shocked at what he called you.

he laughs seeing you expression

y/n im not calling you a brat its a type of submissive trait you like getting a man annoyed at you so they punish you when they've had enough of your attitude

ohh yeah okay that makes more sense you say laughing softly to yourself

so you like being punished he says moving his leg closer to yours making them touch fully which has you pulsing around nothing. The way he speaks to you turns you on just the tones of his voice is deep yet soothing put there's also an underlying tones that makes it sounds like he's humiliating you with the words he speaks.

I mean I don't know ive never been punished a day in my life even as a kid I didn't get punished.

come here he says making you look at him confused

he softly grabs your arm then pulls you over his knees

w-what are you doing

don't worry this is strictly a lesson if you'd like me to stop I will but its easier to show you this way then explain with words

your breathing is loud at this point as your thighs squeeze together . the way he has you over his knees is doing something to you given the fact you know your ass is showing since your skirt is kind of short

are you okay with me showing you it will help you get an idea if being punished is something your into or not

you nod your head with cases him to jolt his knee up causing your body to bounce up and your skirt to ride up.

I need you to use your words y/n

y-yes this is okay I trust you

good now lets say I was your dominant okay. The thing I will be punishing you for is earlier can you tell me what that might be

ummm I don't know uh your voice coming out a little shaky. Your so turned on and you're sure if he looks down at any point he could see your soaked thong.

some on use your brain I know you'll figure it out he says as. you feel his hand on your back slowly rubbing small soothing circles

um when I didn't look at you after reading my fantasy

good girl thats exactly what I will punish you for and the punishment will be leaving my hand print on your ass would that be okay

y-yes

good now ill do 5 on each side okay if you want me to stop just tell me and I will okay

okay you say softly. The last thing you expected was for your first session to end with you over your therapists knee having a full demonstration of something you could be into.

his hand slides down your back to your ass as he rubs softly over your left cheek then his hand smacks down hard causing you to gasp.

thats one and I want you to count for me okay

y-yes sir

he groans causing you to blush and wait for the next smack

his hand comes down again making you squeak out Two

your doing good

after the last smack your breathing hard and your left cheek is stinging and pulsing in the spot he continuously hit.

his hand smacks down on your right cheek causing you to jolt forward .

fuck you gasp he hit harder than you expected.

you need me to stop

no im okay keep going

he finishes the last 4 and you're panting as your thighs are clenching together so hard you can feel the muscles straining. He helps you off his lap and you sit back down on the couch wincing in pain as your raw ass hits the surface.

he looks at you with dark blown out eyes with a slight smirk on his face.

well you obviously like being punished he says causing you to furrow your brows at him as you face got hotter.

oh yeah and how do you know that. you said in a snippy tone

because you clenched your thighs the entire time and ... I could see how soaked your thong was

your breathe hitched as you looked down at the ground trying to hide your embarrassment .

no need to be embarrassed . We did it to see if it was something you liked at it proved you did .

matt was about four years older than you making him 26 and you 22 which made this situation even hotter given the age gap.

yeah I know im just embarrassed I like it that much I guess

well I think we covered a good amount for out first session . When do you want to schedule your next meeting ?

do you have any openings on Tuesday ?

let me check he says getting up and going over to his desk to look at his computer .

he looked so hot leaning over his desk , his sleeves rolled up showing his toned forearms and his big veiny hands gripping the tables edge. God you wish you could have those hands around your neck. which makes you realize you forgot to mention one of your biggest kinks .

oh I did forget one kink that plays a roll in a lot

oh yeah and what is that he say still focusing on his computer

Hands you say biting your lip still looking at his hands.

he looks at you then notices you're looking at his hands causing his dick to stiffen even more in his pants. You hadn't noticed he had a hard on and he's glad about that. He's never had a client so close to his age that also fits everything he finds attractive . You're exactly the type of girl he's ever wanted , the perfect bratty submissive but he keeps it to himself knowing he's your therapist and he cant jeopardize your business relationship.

You snap out of it meeting his eyes as he's smirking at you causing your face to get red knowing he caught you looking at his hands.

I have two openings one in the afternoon for 1 pm or 7pm

can we do the 7 pm again

yeah of course ill put you in for 7pm

he finishes setting your appointment and starts grabbing his stuff you stand up off the couch and go to grab your phone where you had set it on his desk and grab your purse taking out your keys.

wait for me and ill walk you out its pretty late out you shouldn't be walking out of here on your own

okay thank you I mean you don't have to do that

no I insist he says before walking around his desk to you and leading you to the door.

he turns the lights off then locks his office doors then you both make your way down the hall to the sitting room area . He turns off all the overhead lights then meets you at the front entrance doors.

He locks those then you make your way to the elevators down to the parking deck.

so what did you think of your first session I know a lot of people don't like therapy

honestly I was really not excited but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be

im glad I wasn't that bad

me too honestly I was expecting an old man not ...you

ill take that as a good thing

oh yeah no sorry I didn't mean it in a bad way im really glad your young it made me a little less nervous

im glad and I hope it helped to talk through some stuff

it did I mean I usually don't talk about most of this sex stuff with people so it felt good to get some of it out

well then I guess the therapy is doing its job

yeah I guess so you say smiling over at him

which floor did you park on

im pretty sure eight

cool me too ill walk you to your car

oh no you don't have to do that don't you have like a girlfriend to get home to or something

no actually I don't I do have brothers that are waiting for me to get them dinner though

oh well don't let me take more of your time im sure I can safely make it to my car

come on were in down town LA there could be crack heads roaming around ill walk you they can wait

fine if you insist

you make it down to the 8th floor of the parking deck and start walking in the direction of where you parked

so do you live with your brothers

yeah im actually a triplet so you know were very close we haven't really felt the need to move into our own places

oh wow thats cool I have an older brother but were not super close I always wished id had a twin sister though

how old is your brother

oh hes 26

ahh the older brother dynamic I get it its kind of hard to have a close relationship when your 4 years apart

yeah we've gotten closer through the years but you know he's a guy im a girl its different

yeah I get that

okay well this is me you say pointing to your car

thank you for walking me

of course its no problem see you Tuesday

yep see you Tuesday goodnight mr.sturniolo

goodnight y/n and just so you know you can call me matt

okay well good night matt you say as you start to get in your car .

he starts walking the opposite way to where he's parked as you start your car up and head home .

... part 2 coming soon.

[wallydarlingsnumber1]

posting my cringe old shit i wrote on wattpad. #1

OH GOD. help me. | SMUT | [ P A I R I N G ] ; Ayato Aishi x Reader [ WARNINGS ] ; P in V, Unprotected sex, AND BAD STUPID SMUT. last fucking warning! under the cut you promise to willingly suffer for your actions of this smut.

Prompt : Ayato (male Ayano Aishi) gets horny and starts making out with female!reader :)

I asked my bestie for a prompt so uh here we go 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

BURN!! ^^^(i might delete this chapter idfk) (maybe ill make a masc one >:v) Also this is my first smut so it might be bad 💀💔

Comment here what the adventure was like after the story 💙

(Also you guys are in ur house n shit Its also night Netflix And chill (Even though my bestie didn't say this but i thought to just add this 💀💔))

💔💔💔💔- Ayato's pov Oh my gosh. She fucking right there next to me. Im gonna blow up right now. She's so pretty. Her gorgeous E/C(eye color) colored eyes. The most beautiful H/L(Hair length) hair she has. She dressed up in her little favorite jammies. So cute and only for me.

I wanna fuck her.

I felt hard but ignored it, and grabbed one of the pillows and my legs with it to make sure she wouldn't see.

💙💙💙💙-Y/N's Pov

I felt Ayato's eyes lay on me, i felt tension growing.

I just continue on watching the movie, leaning onto Ayato. My hands move over to his hands and held it. He seemed suprised, but caressed my hands gently.

I kissed him on his cheeks. Smiling at him like a cute little doll.

A few minutes later during the movie

I felt his cold hands snake onto my thigh and rub it gently. I was getting butterflies. He used his free hand to reach for my chin and smiled at me. He kissed me softly. He whined a bit when i pulled away but we both smiled at each other. He pushed me to lay down on the sofa. "Y/N, please~," he said crawling over me. He covered my neck with gentle kisses. I shivered at how cold he was.

He scooted over closer and started to take off my pants and my undergarments.

Revealing my pussy. He took off his own and revealed his member, with some little precum on its tip. It was... Probably a bit big to say the least to fit it in. He inserted his long, cold, finger inside and started to pump it in and out.

"Does that feel good, My little sweetheart?~" said the man with lust-filled eyes. Admiring the scene of you being finger-fucked by him. And i mean, only, Him. "Ye-Yes~" you quietly moaned out. He stopped and inserted two fingers inside you this time and pumped it in and out slowly. You whined out; "P-please~ Ayato, put it in~" His fingers stopped again and smirked at you, his cock was throbbing anyway. He inserted in slowly.

"Tell me when it hurts or you when want to stop, okay?~ I dont want to hurt you THAT much~" he started moving in and out of you. He chuckled. Which, kind of made you a bit worried.

Only a minute passed and you were already moaning mess.

It hurt a little but you didn't care. "H-Haah!~ AYATO!~" You moaned out, "Thats fucking right, moan out my name. Let everyone know how much of a slut you are for me and me only, let everyone know you are mine~"

Now that? That was so fucking hot for you to handle.

He started to suck on your neck and leave hickeys and sped up. "You like it when i do this to you? Hm?" He said, he wasn't even close to being done with you.  You moaned, loving the feeling and sensations he had given you. You were close to your climax and so was he.

You came and he did too, of course he pulled out before doing so. "Oh my~..." He chuckled, You tried to sit up but you were pinned back down. "Now, now! We aren't completely done yet~" He rubbed your pussy, he chuckled and loved the thought for another round, the movie seemed to not be done yet, the time was 1:34 am, did you both care? Nope. You both continued.

For what felt like hours. And hours. You both had 3 rounds. The aftercare he gave you was nice though. He loved you so much. Your leg was very sore still though...

Guess you wont be able to walk tomorrow.

___

Oh my gosh what dafuq. WHY DID I DO THIS DURING MY WHOLE ENTIRE CLASS HELP

END OF THAT CRAPPY SHIT I COPY AND PASTED. I HATE IT. BUT YEAH.

anyways listen to bag of bones in album 'lush' by mitski bbyz baiiii xoxo

[panjakes]

Aneiiiiii💛💛

How are you? Hope you're doing well and staying hydrated.

I was wondering if I could request a Mark thing👉🏽👈🏽

So I'm braiding my own hair rn, knotless, and it is hell😭😭 my back, neck and arms are screaming and it's 10pm. I started around 3pm. Girl 😔 SHOUT-OUT to all the people that braid their own hair. Y'all are legendary ❣️

So something where like Mark feels bad and offers to help and also gives like a cute massage afterwards idk. Just something cute to make me feel like this suffering is really worth the beauty 😭😭😅😅

Love you🫶🏽🐝

Mark sat on your bed watching your movements very carefully. You seemed to almost be done but like you always tell mark, “one part can turn into three”.

You sigh throwing your arms down to your side, arms hurting like a bitch. Mark cracks a smile looking over at your glossy lips fold into a pout.

“You okay sweetheart?” Mark asks sitting up from the bed

“No. I’m tired. My arms hurt, my back hurts, I want some chips” you say making him laugh

“Is there anything I can do to help my love?” He asks coming to stand behind you

You look up at him through the mirror

“First off all you can go to the store and get me some snacks” you say

“You want to come with me?” He asks making you frown

“Mark…the middle of my head isn’t done. I’m not going no where” you say making him laugh

“Okay fine, guess I’ll face time you when I get there” he says making you nod

“Yes please, thank you” you say as he walks away

“You forgot to say something else” he says turning back around

“No I didn’t” you say looking over at the packs of hair only hoping that you had enough

“Yes you did” he says stomping his feet

“I didn’t can you please get my snacks” you say separating your hair

“Baby tell me you love me!!” He says leaning on your back

“Ow! Mark get cha ass off me!” You scream

“Say you love me and kiss me” he says puckering his lips

“I love you can you please go get my snacks baby please!” You ask

“I didn’t get my kiss but I’ll go get your stuff” he says making you give him a sarcastic smile

Soon he left and you got to gelling and parting your hair. By the time make came back you were done parting your hair and all you had to do is braid but maybe you were too tired for that.

“I got you a bunch of stuff” mark says

“What did you get yourself?” You asks

“I got me a coffee” he says showing you the cup of ice caffeine

“Did you get me a coffee?” You ask

“Nooooo” he says going wide eye

“Well can I have some of your coffee?” You ask batting your eyelashes

“Well when you look at me like that, You can have whatever you want” he says making the both of you laugh.

You take a sip of his coffee moaning at the sweet but slightly bitter coffee.

“That’s good, I need one of those” you say handing him the cup

“Want me to go back and get you one?” He ask making you shake your head

“No what you can do is come over here and help me with my hair” you say making him nod

It wouldn’t be his first time helping you with your hair. Mark has helped you with washed day, detangling, installing a wig, even braids so he was gonna help you now.

He goes to wash his hands and he comes back grabbing the pre parted pieces of hair. Sitting between his legs you tackle one side of your hair and he tackles the other.

You quickly braided your side as mark took his time to braid so he didn’t mess up and you yelled at him.

“Mark…hurry up!” You say falling asleep

“I don’t wanna mess up!” He says

“Please hurry up my neck hurts and im tired” you say with a whine

“Okay I’ll give you a massage when im done but you know how you get when I mess up on your hair” he says making you nod

“I mean, you right” you say making him chuckle

“It’s okay baby I only have three braids left” he says still slowly braiding

“Is it really only three?” You ask with a frown

“No…it’s six” he says making you groan and himself laugh

Within him and his slow braiding you fell asleep on his leg. About 40 minutes later he was done and actually proud of his work. He quickly grabs his phone taking pictures of the braids he braided and your sleeping figure.

“Baby wake up, I’m done” he says gently shaking you

“Did you put mousse and oil sheen on it?” You mumble

“No, you can do that yourself. Go wrap your hair up and get ready for me to rub on your body” he says making you jerk up from your sleep

“Now that just sounded weird” you say making him chuckle

“I always rub on your body don’t make it an issue” he says making you roll your eyes and laugh

“Your such a weirdo” you say giggling

“I’m your weirdo” he says moving his eyebrows up and down

“Yes, yes your are” you say planting a kiss on his lips before going to mousse and wrap your hair

[gracetoldmeto]

really long rant: why am i so scared of everything?

note: the rest of this post was a draft i made a few days ago, and was going to let rot forever, but today has messed me up so much i just said *why not* and posted bc idk... why not...

im not like 'BOO!!! jumpscare' scared just like... there are so many things in life that could go wrong that are entirely out of your control and theres absolutely nothing you can do about it, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING, because shit happens and sometimes that shit is BAD and permanently fucks you over for life and thats just the way it is bc fate is a game of chance (this is my dramatic ass way of saying 'a forever change') but everyone says "oh if you cant control it then why worry?"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?

NO. THAT IS NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS I DO WORRY.

I could die tomorrow. I could get a terminal diagnosis tomorrow. Someone (else) I love could die (again) tomorrow. Maybe my house could burn down tomorrow. Maybe in some freak accident everything I've ever known is taken from me... somehow?

can i control any of this? no.

so what do i do about it??? anything i can to minimize the fallout just in case...

bc isnt that just called RESPONSIBILITY???

ie: house fire? -> ok. insurance.

medical? -> insurance.

death? (that isnt mine) -> stable income

(note #1: this is about the point in my writing of this post where i dont even have the motivation to finish it bc i just wanna sit down and cry... but i might as well)

so OKAY, guess what? i did something about all those possibilities, so my anxiety should be relieved, right? fear gone! all okay now!

WRONG!

all that structure ive created bc its the "rEsPoNsiBLe" way to live, is a slow painful depressing death of my mental health at the hands of my job

yes, id rather gain an inch than lose a mile, small sufferings over large,

but oh my god is that all life is? small sufferings???

if i keep only suffering one inch at a time im going to end up killing myself and i dont quite think anyone truly GETS that except my therapist

this isnt like high school where i knew jack shit about mental health, i know what help is out there, whether or not it works is a totally different story

(note #2: i have looked at my options, ive read the rules, and id actually rather take my metaphorical little plastic car you get at the start of The Game of LIFE boardgame and throw it out a fucking window)

im past the point of easy help and unfortunately the conclusion i keep coming back to is a quote from a fic i wrote last year...

whatever THIS life is, regardless of how much i worked my ASS off for it, i dont want it anymore

(note #3: i dont even think id be in this spot if i didnt have shit luck)

i am equally fucked by either...

1) being responsible, financially safe, insured, but sad af at my job and actively praying something kills me in my sleep

OR

2) quitting my job with no plan and being scared that fate is gonna fuck me over for the upteenth time and this time i wont be able to bounce back or (lets be real) even have a want to (but thats a discussion for another time)

this is no way to fucking live, yet here i am

why am i scared of everything? well, yes i know WHY (bc from personal experience i know what can go wrong)

why am i scared of everything? because you cant be scared of something if you dont know it exists BUT in order to be prepared and responsible it means you have to acknowledge that YES IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU

so how the hell am i supposed to be responsible when i hate what comes with it???

"hey alex, what do you wanna be when you grow up? (1) sad or (2) scared?"

actually neither, id rather simply not exist

why am i scared of everything? because how else am i supposed to act?

why am i scared of everything? because actually, there is no answer to this... there is no reason... its just another shit thing in life that iunno how to deal with

why am i scared of everything? because the universe said so and so thats how it is

and i fucking hate it

.

...ok thats all im gonna go make a quesadilla now

[themandaloriansdiaries]

Prompts List

when sending in your request please let me know which character/person you would like, as well as what category you would like. please give me a brief rundown on how you would like for it to go as well. or I can choose which direction it goes in. also! please make sure when you choose a prompt include the number as well!

I do not take credit for these prompts!! I've looked through different prompt lists and mixed them up.

Kiss

"can i kiss you?"

"are you sure about this?"

"close your eyes"

"wanna practise?"

"i really, really want to kiss you right now"

"i think i deserve a kiss"

"if you win, i'll kiss you"

"kiss me again"

"are you wearing chapstick?"

"shut up" (affectionately)

"you'll have to teach me"

"was that okay?"

"you're gonna get lipstick all over me"

"i think this is the part where you're supposed to kiss me"

"just follow my lead"

"one more kiss? please?"

"can we do that again?"

"i like kissing you"

"wanna make out?"

"don't speak. just kiss me"

"your lips are so soft, I could kiss 'em all day"

Fluff

"I miss you"

"close your eyes"

" aw, you're so cute"

"you've always felt like home"

"you make me feel alive"

"i wouldn't change a thing about you"

"did I ever tell you how beautiful your eyes are?"

"I love you"

"why the hell is there glitter everywhere?"

"why don't you take a picture? it'll last longer"

"its too cold, come back"

"your hair is so soft"

"no, i'm not letting you go. its too early to get out of bed"

"im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention"

"come here, you can sit on my lap until im done working"

"shh, you're safe. I won't let you go"

"you make me feel safe"

"you're a little shit but you're my little shit"

"do you want to stay over tonight?"

"can I hold your hand?"

"everything has been different since I fell in love with you"

"shh, its okay love, it was just a bad dream"

"stay with me please"

"my heart beats for nothing except you"

"could you hold my hand?"

"go to sleep, you haven't gotten any rest in the past couple of days"

"i'm having your child"

"I've been excited to see you all day"

"'i've lost everything, i'd be stupid enough to lose you"

"can I at least shut the door before you decide to pounce on me the moment I come home?"

Angst

"talk to me please"

"of all people, you?"

"I guess I wasn't enough, was I ?"

"I don't think I can look at you and not think of how you killed every last bit of love I had for you"

"sometimes its so confusing- if you were the one that didn't deserve me, or if it was the other way around"

"if time healed everything, then I would've gotten over you by now. its been years and i'm still where I am while I watch you move on from multiple me's"

"the ghost of you lingers around me everywhere, every second of the day. I just want it to stop. please"

"you're not leaving, are you?"

"don't leave me, please"

"don't do this to yourself"

"I can't just sit by and do nothing when you're suffering so much"

"talk to me please"

"let me help you"

"stop pushing me away"

"you haven't been yourself lately"

"please, just let me go"

"i'm not going anywhere"

"its better this way"

"theres nothing you can do"

"I don't want to lose you too"

"am I too late?"

"just leave"

"you said you'd always be there for me.. how come you weren't there when I fucking needed you"

"just go, leave! its the least you can do after all the pain you've caused me"

"why can't you love me back"

"you're breaking me"

"you did this to me"

"I can never look at you the same after that"

"you were my everything"

"get away from me"

Protective

"get behind me"

"hold my hand, okay? its gonna be over soon"

"close your eyes for me love"

"when I say run, I need you to do as I say without looking back, and don't wait for me"

"its all going to be okay, they will never hut you again"

"I swear to you, that as long as I'm alive I won't let a single soul harm you"

"listen to me.. take deep breaths, yes follow my breathing just like that. theres no need to panic, i'm right here now, aren't I? you're safe"

"when you love something, you are to protect it with your entire life at stake, and right now, my gut tells me to do the same"

"I'll be back very soon, but don't come out. stay hidden until I come back and try not to make a noice, hmm?"

"i'm so sorry, I wish I would've never left you alone! if I knew this would happen, I would've never left you alone"

"don't ever leave my sight again"

"do you trust me?"

"be more careful next time. I don't want to have to bandage you up again"

"you came back"

"I'm going to protect you"

"I got your back"

"I heard you scream, nightmares again?"

"why? because I don't want you to get hurt, that's why"

"promise me you'll be safe"

"I don't feel comfortable with you going there on your own"

Feel free to use any of these! Tag me in your work, I’d love to read them🫶🏽

[studio-dreamie]

chapter 7: tiktok advice

Jaemin opened the apartment door as y/n rushed in. She beelines straight to Jisung's room only to see him on the floor rocking back and forth against the wall. She couldn’t help but feel sad at the sight. “Jisung,” she said softly, she walked towards the frantic boy. She sits down next to him and puts her hand on his arm, rubbing circles with her thumb. “Can I try something Jisung?” she asks. He looks at her surprised but hesitantly nods as he tries to control his breathing (somewhat failing). She reaches down into her pocket to find her white wired headphones that were connected to her phone from the walk (more like run) here. She took her hand off and put the headphones on jisung. She played a playlist named steady. “Why did you do that?” Jaemin asked as he hovered over the boy and the girl from the door. “I saw a TikTok saying it helps with panic attacks so I wanted to see if it would work” she responded. Jaemin’s mouth couldn’t help but fall open, “so you put the fate of our son in the hands of TikTok” Jaemin said. Y/n rolled her eyes and she moved closer to Jisung. He eyes her but then gives her a small nod. His chest slows down and his movements become less frantic in the next few minutes. She goes back to her original position except this time she wraps her arms around his left, pressing it against her like a teddy bear. Once the frantic moments stopped, y/n laid her head on the boy’s shoulder. Jaemin decided to come close and sit beside them, rubbing circles reassuringly on Jisung’s knee. They stay in this position until he falls asleep.

side story: hw assignment #2 (jisungs pov)

It felt childish to do a homework assignment like this in college. Worksheets were being passed around the class like we were back in high school. The big black bold letters sat on top of the paper in a font that seemed fitting for kindergartners. “Who is your hero?”. I couldn’t help but internally sigh, of course an English elective has to do the most. I looked at the paper with a straight face; who the fuck do i write about? Iron man? I thought about it for a second but then pushed the idea away. There was no way I could write a 2000 word paper on my emotional connection with Iron Man. I overhear everyone around me talking. “Oh this is easy” “Who are you gonna do?” “My mom for sure” “Hmm probably my dad or brother not too sure”. I continue to stare at my paper; there’s no way I’m writing a paper on my deadbeat family members, maybe iron man really is the best option. I stare deeply at the paper, god someone, anyone, why can’t I think, why does everybody gotta put their family member, who the hell do I put, what the fuck. My thoughts become interrupted as I get a text on laptop screen. hello my offspring it read. I softly smiled, I guess I know who to write about now.

prev//masterlist//next

pairing: renjun x fem!reader

synopsis: the ultimate college friend group that does not escape the trials of suffering, love, drama, and weed. join y/n and her friends as they go through their third year of college together, they have no idea what's going on or what they're doing, but isn't that the fun of it?

genre: social media au, college au, friends to lovers, fluff, angst, comedy, coming of age

note: so i fully understand that this is a renjun x reader but like i really want to put emphasis on the other relationships she has, i want it to really be like you’re in college with all ur friends, and im a firm believer that side characters are main characters in their own story so i like to give them spotlight, if yall don’t fw that idk what to tell yall fr. in the character description i said jaemin and y/n are jisungs co-parents and i fr mean it

taglist: @she-is-dreaming @wavesandkisses @jenobubbles @finnydraws @snflwrhaerecs4u @sexygrass @miniature-tragedy @sweetcandycum @fae-renjun 

[justwearthegoddamncardigan]

Hii Rin:)))))

I really loved your Ace!reader x Minho fic and I was wondering if you could do it with Newt???

Thankss<3

Of course I can ❤❤❤ I'm so glad you enjoyed the other one!!

(Just cuddles and kisses with Minho if anyone's looking)

Angel boy

Established Newt x ace! gender neutral! reader

Set post-tdc (save haven era)

Title has no relevance whatsoever just newt is the best guy he's an angel

Warnings: language

After everything the happened with the Maze and WCKD, the way you started dating Newt was perfectly and deliciously unremarkable.

Everyone had expected it, and it was more a question of when it was going to happen than anything else.

Before getting to the Safe Haven, you'd already felt the sparks between the two of you, but you'd never gotten the time to confess your feelings, what with Minho being captured, Newt being bitten by a Crank, and all the fighting.

In the end, you just sort of fell together.

He'd almost fallen asleep in your room one day, and the look of him covered by a blanket, a soft drowsy expression on his face, was just irresistible.

You were both slumped against the back of the bed, heads bent toward each other, and you'd simply closed the gap between the two of you, capturing his lips in a soft kiss.

When you pulled away, he'd grinned at you.

"What took you so long?"

⭒----⭒

You and Newt have been dating for a few weeks now, and you've had something on your mind recently that worries you.

First of all, it should be established that you love touching Newt (and the feeling is mutual).

You'll be standing with your arms crossed, and he'll trail his fingers down from your shoulder in his own little way of asking to hold your hand. You of course respond by uncrossing your arms to interlace your fingers with his.

Or you'll wrap your arms around him from behind, to surprise him, and he'll turn around to pull you in and drop a kiss on your forehead.

Or maybe he'll wait for you in bed while you're getting ready to sleep, and when you turn around you'll see his arms lifted, open and waiting, with his fingers curling repeatedly in a 'come here' movement (which you find is the cutest thing ever).

On those days, you'll melt into his arms and exchange slow, languid kisses until you grow drowsy.

As much as you love those kissing Newt, you get the feeling there's meant to be something coming after it. You just... never get to wanting that something.

⭒----⭒

Sex comes up when you talk to Minho one day, and you just spill everything out.

"So what do you think I should do?" you ask worriedly, after getting all your thoughts out.

"Hey," he nudges your foot with his. "If you don't wanna sleep with Newt, just tell 'im. He's not gonna dump you or anything, Y/n, he loves your shuck ass."

You send Minho a half-grin. "I guess not, but I'm still worried. Like, wouldn't you want sex in a relationship?"

"I mean, yeah, of course. But if I was in love with someone who didn't, then I'd probably adjust for them. Especially if I was in love with someone as much as Newt is with you."

"It's just," you hesitate. "Is the sacrifice worth it?"

"Sacrifice- seriously Y/n?"

"What?"

"People don't think like that, or at least I hope they don't. Newt definitely doesn't think like that. It's not some kind of exchange. You don't pay love so he doesn't need sex."

He shakes his head. "Love is love, Y/n. That's all."

You smirk at him. "Who knew you were such a sap?"

"Shut up," says Minho, rolling his eyes.

"Anyways, trust me Y/n, you didn't hear the months of did you see Y/n today? they look so bloody hot. do you think Y/n even likes me? are you sure they like me?." Minho mimics Newt's accent as he speaks.

At your unimpressed expression, he heaves a long suffering sigh. "Just go talk to him."

⭒----⭒

"Hey," you say.

Newt looks up. "What's up?"

You sit down on the foot of the bed in a cross-legged position.

"Can we talk?"

" 'course. Everything okay?"

"I- yeah, I just wanted to..." you trail off, unsure of how to start. "I don't want... sex. Like, ever. I've just- I've never felt the need for it. And I know, it's a big intimacy thing for people, and I'm sorry I can't give you that, but I just- "

"Y/n." Newt grasps your wrists, stopping your nervous gesturing. "It's okay."

You blink up at him, and he sits down beside you.

"I actually kinda... figured."

"What?" you stare at him, incredulous.

"Yeah." He holds on to your hands, drawing invisible patterns as he speaks. "I mean, we've been together for a while, and I know I liked you for a long time before we even started dating. So I figured if sex was gonna happen, it would've... by now, you know?"

"Uh- I don't know, I was kinda waiting to..."

"To want sex?"

At your nod, he huffs a small laugh, and shakes his head. "I guess if you change your mind later down the line, we can talk. But I just assumed, since you hadn't said anything about it, sex just wasn't a part of our relationship."

"And you were just... fine with that?" you raise your eyebrows, still disbelieving.

"Of course."

You let out the breath you didn't know you'd holding. "Shuck."

He smiles at you. "You alright?"

"Yeah, just didn't expect that. ...You're the best," you tell him.

"I know," he says, smirking.

"Hey," you say. "So we know I'm not into sex. But..."

"But?"

You reach out and push his chest down onto the bed, before climbing over him and sealing your lips against his.

You can feel him smile against you as he goes down willingly, and you thank whatever god there is that this boy loves you the way he does.

Thanks for reading ❤

You can read a bonus scene set after this fic here: Perfect Without

[bl00dlight]

ur one of the few blogs who actually get Aemond is kind of an incel with a personality disorder. and lol when you said he was cluster b i snorted. i have bpd, and honestly..he is giving unhealed, nbpd (narcissistic borderline). even the way you write him makes me lmao cause it's trueeeee he so fragile and narcissistic like real shit. like in ep 3 in the brothel when he goes from looking vunerable to diabolical he straight up splitted. also the fact he cant control his emotions or impulses. and him attempting to KILL aegon because his brother laughed at him. like yes it is definitely a trauma response, but when you put it into perspective that his brother was like kinda doing what brother's do and roasting him? like ofc aegon is gonna be a dick about it. aemond suddenly hating the madame and then plotting to destroy aegon in that moment was like legit a split. I love how the writers of the show tried to not make him a full blown sociopath like he is in the books and yet accidentally ended up giving him another variation of cluster b antisocial behaviours. also Aegon is also giving unhealed borderline vibes too. tom even said he thinks Aegon feels things too deeply.... im sitting here relating to their traumas a little too much sometimes lol.

Thank you for verifying my armchair psychology. I'm very into character analysis and character psychology for some fucking reason and I COULD NOT AGREE MORE. Also yea, I mean, book Aemond is undeniably just a fucking dreadful creature. Incelly as fuck, total sociopath, doesn't give a fuck.

I'm glad the writers have actually taken the time to explore his character in a more nuanced way. Because no matter what, any character who behaves antisocially is likely going to be cluster b if they were real. So I'd much rather see how the dysfunction and trauma of family can create these issues within people. It's nice in a way seeing people empathic to Aemond, and I guess even Aegon (EVEN IF I FIND THEIR ACTIONS MORALLY REPUGNANT) because people tend to be really fucking hateful towards cluster b sufferers in our world. It's usually by virtue of the fact that, we don't see the trauma of what turns people into what society perceives as monsters. And often times, what lies beneath is actually a very, deeply broken human being.

I really appreciate the writers exploring the Greens in that dysfunctional dynamic. It's so much more interesting to me than the fucking small folk bullshit. Everyone knows war is bad and the people suffer. What's more interesting is seeing how the individuals who bring suffering upon other people are created. That is a far more socially impactful story to tell, because it literally shows us how the importance of showing people love/care/understanding - can be the difference between mass tragedy or peace. Imagine if Viserys had loved his kids equally and Alicent hadn't forced her trauma on to her children. There would be no war. It's that's simple.

[stardustdiiving]

From the ship ask! What's a pairing most people seem to like in Genshin that you don't?

(ship asks prompt)

MAN OKAY I honestly could answer this with a good third of popular Genshin ships…but none of these are really solid dislikes, it’s just me feeling specific about how I like to see it executed & finding the way the fandom handles it is either unsatisfying, or generates an environment that kinda stresses me out NJDNCNC

To narrow it down to one I feel matches the question best I think I’m gonna go with Kokomi/Sara. It’s not really an active dislike or anything I promise I’m genuinely chilling. *insane person voice* but see I am just very stressed out with the in universe geo-politics happening in the background of this Genshin impact ship

I MEAN THAT IN A VERY SILLY WAY. but also I do have a genuine elaboration on what i mean which is like…how do I say this.

I really like Watasumi Island and find their existence + circumstances as a nation really interesting, especially regarding their dynamic with the Shogunate—it’s like the one part of inazuman politics that really catches my interest. But see the way I took the way the Shogunate + Watasumi dynamic was being written was specifically that Watasumi is/was suffering from colonization/imperialism at the hands of the Shogunate. I don’t see them as equal enemies on opposing sides of a conflict I’m just kind of like. Oh my god the Shogunate tries to control their primary food sources + military and after the war u see like, Gorou helping smuggle medicine and food supplies to treat their wounded war veterans bc the Shogunate is imposing high taxes on them they can’t afford to pay. The Raiden Shogun slaughtered their deity who was kind of backed into a corner on trying to secure vital resources for his people and to this day his corpse is just sitting on her territory getting ravaged and mined for weapons !! That’s crazy! I like thinking Abt that!

While I think Inazuma suffered from the writers dropping the ball with a lot of things I am generally happy this dynamic is explored/acknowledged repeatedly and Watasumi at least to me doesn’t feel like it’s constantly written in a really meanspirited and shitty way you know. Like, in the medicine supply smuggling thing i mentioned — that’s a route in Heizhou’s hangout that ends in a conclusion that something may have severely hurt the vitality of Watasumi’s land and it’s ability to provide, but that doesn’t mean they won’t survive or all hope is lost, because theres people within Watasumi who care and embody that hope and vitality within themselves and are working hard to build stability and provide for everyone. Like idk that’s really cool and I genuinely found it a really nice narrative that really makes me root for Watasumi

But then we get to Sara & Kokomi and ppl just do not talk about this dynamic between both nations at all from what I see, despite it being really relevant to the characters and in theory the appeal of the ship? And I jusurjfucn I guess it confuses me a lot bc I remember, most recently for example on the TCG event, I was so confused seeing everyone post about their interactions for days about how it was cute they were engaging in card matches together and Sara wanted to be friends…and then I played the event myself and we get this scene where Kokomi is standing off starring out at sea alone, and she talks about how she doesn’t like how she can’t see Watasumi from here, and how that was especially agonizing to experience during the war, and then gets caught up in her memories of the war and talks about how a lot of her people are still recovering from the trauma of it, and how she’s participating in this event bc she’s anxious about wanting to build good relations between the Shogunate and Watasumi so her nation doesn’t suffer more in the future AND IM JUST…MAN

Like I do think I can see Sara & Kokomi being friends, Sara’s character feels like it’s the concept of “individual with genuinely good morals working in an oppressive system doesnt stop the damage the system causes” kind of deal BUT IDK…I get fandom experiences can very anecdotal and I’m sure there are shippers who handle this aspect of the ship but when at large it just feels like it’s filed down to a vague enemies to lovers + contrasting aesthetic girlfriends ship I guess it def leans more towards being one I’m not really into. I think it doesn’t help it strikes the specific fandom pet peeve I have where I sometimes feel ppl water down a lot of wlw ships down to just being surface level cute and I am a lesbian who likes very nuanced and complicated character dynamic exploration so I’m personally just like. Yeah idk I guess this seems rlly widely accepted fanon wise but I don’t rlly click with it at all djjcnfj while I could be interested in this dynamic being explored, just if I were doing my own take on it ik adding romantic tones wouldnt feel super necessary to make it feel more interesting to me personally yk x__x

I just feel very excitable about a lot of genshin things and Watasumi vs Shogunate related things hits that mark of interest for me…definitely not implying the shippers r doing something wrong by making silly lighthearted posts and being less interested in types of analysis I enjoy but I guess that’s the most popular ship I feel the least interested in I can think of?

[ambalambs]

Don't think I didn't see your tags about Miko's Azem. I need to know all about them! Do you have a name for them? What kind of personality do they have? How do they get along with Hades, Hythlodaeus, Venat, Hermes, Themis, et al. How would they get along with Miko and how are they similar and how are they different?

Oh geeze the cats out of the bag, I do have an azem concept for Miko xD his name is Dionysus! Or Dio for short to his friends. I see him being a pretty energetic guy who strives to live for excitement and fun and just loves being around people. You'd just rarely find him alone or not busy with something.

Im gonna put the rest under a break just in case I get carried away here lol

So basically he's a super cheery and approachable guy but he is definitely someone you wouldn't want to get on his bad side. He has a habit of coming up with unorthodox ideas and if someone decides to hurt him or someone he cares about he will take joy in making them suffer lol but he's usually a sweetheart otherwise! But yeah just he's got of a bit of a deranged quirk to him like I mentioned about the butterfly concepts in those tags you clearly saw xD but most of the time it's harmless ideas. For example he'd probably ask if he could give a caterpillar concept two heads, and when asked why he'd even want to do that he'd reply with something like "so it wouldn't feel lonely 🥺". And just in general I kinda see him being a little creature at times like there's no doubt Hades has had to pluck a few leaves or twigs out of his hair before they go into a meeting. Boy is a free spirit lol

As for relationships he is closest to hythlodaeus. I feel like during the whole final days stuff when he learns of hyth's sacrifice it was most likely the final straw to break him. Just based on canon tho he'd of course also be friends with Hades. He'd take immeasurable joy in pestering him lol but he'd know the limit and only push his buttons on a good day. Themis would be like a little brother to him and possibly an awful influence in most of the other convocation member's eyes lol as for Venat he would've definitely looked up to her as a mentor and since she was a kindred spirit when it came to relations with the people and exploring he felt extremely comfortable with her. He'd always talk her ear off about his wild ideas or things he'd see/experience on his travels. Im not sure if he'd have ever had a deeper relationship with hermes tho beyond just "this is a guy I work with and he seems sad so im gonna chat him up when I see him, maybe show him a cool bird concept ive been cooking up. He seems to like birds." Lol

I do have this idea, or theory I guess, that venat told azem about the whole future stuff with hydaelyn and zodiark and the final days at some point. And this would've been devastating for him to learn and hard to accept and why he left the convocation and everything behind. He'd have been angry having to sit aside and let fate play out as it must so I think that really strained his relationship with Venat and of course Hades. I could go on deeper about all that probably but idk how atm lol but it does play into how I feel like he'd feel about miko.

Like if they were to meet i feel like there would be a deep sadness and resentment for miko. Dio would just take one look at him and wonder "why you?". But there'd also be respect. That something so small, just a piece of himself, could continue on and accomplish all that miko has. And to witness all the love and compassion and hope and courage in this little shard would eventually sway him and Dio would come to love miko, not as a piece of himself but as his own person. Ngl I'd love an azem vs wol battle to test their worth or something xD I feel like thatd be fun. But yeah I mean there are small similarities between them if one knew where to look. They both have that joyous nature and are good with people. Their ability with song. Dio is just more unhinged than Miko is in like Miko doesn't take joy in fighting or hurting others even if they've wronged him and he's more chill than Dio is in general I think lol if that all makes sense.

Also im gonna be bold and share a basic concept doodle I did of him just cuz I needed to get an idea out of what he'd even kinda look like. So this is all subject to change but I do see him at least having long hair with this color and silver eyes.

[feathersketchcreations]

so the glowing blitz silhouette from the look my way MV inspired me to draw Remi in the same pose because I.. see so much of myself in Blitz. I know I spend alot of my time doing silly goofy meme art as well as oc x Blitz polyamory shipart and while some see it as me being some Blitz fangirl or cringy simp, sure. I guess people can judge me for the gushy self insert characters x blitz shipart. but I don't do this because I'm a Blitz Fangirl. there is a reason I obsess and hyperfocus on Blitz so much and it's because I connect so deeply to him that it's kinda super personal. I know that seems silly.. but I also DO know I'm not the only one that feels the same way. I've seen other blitz fans who kin him and feel the same way I do.

I'm not gonna sugar coat this when I say blitz has a LOT to work on. thats fact. He deals with self hate, he genuinely thinks he doesn't even deserve love or affection, but he feels SO lonely. hes afraid hes going to DIE alone. and he also blames himself for things that were accident, showing he has a pretty bad guilt complex that has made him feel SUPER guilty about his childhood tent fire accident. he also has individuals who hate him as we've seen throughout the series (Verosika, Fizz, his own sister barbie, ect, though we already saw him and fizz make up. which is awesome! ^^) and well.. yea..

theres just.. SO much Blitz goes through as a character.. and me personally, I've been through each and EVERY Single thing he's going through. and yes. it HITS hard...

I know what it's like to self hate. I've been dealing with self hate my entire life. growing up I did a piss poor job building up the self love and seeing my worth. even to this day I still deal with self hate. yea, I know that I have people who tell me my arts good, or that im a good friend, or that I've inspired them, and truthfully yea I know my arts good, and I know I inspire others cause that's always been my goal is to inspire people, and if it works yay! but I am working on myself still. it's a rough road of getting out of the pit of self hate. self love is SUPER hard. my boyfriend even sees how hard it can be and how damaging self hate can be to me. but he still believes in me. just like I know all of my friends in this fandom believe in me. and I think that alone is what helps me try. and seeing Blitz go through this definitely makes me connect and idk. it speaks to me..

I know what it's like to feel like I'm unloveable.. before I met my boyfriend Christian, I had such a hard time with relationships. people used me. cheated on me, abused me. yknow the gist. back in 2015 I was SO close to giving up because I thought I was worthless and unlovable.. I was so fucking hopeless. I felt so unloved, and unwanted and blamed myself... anyone I'd have feelings for, I would get friendzoned, or shot down. I just felt super hopeless until I met christian. we.. admittedly had a rocky start and ups and downs.. but here we are 8 years later, moved in together, and still holding on to one another. I love him to death, and would do anything for him.. and obviously in Blitz's case in the show, after seeing the episode truth seekers, and ozzies, I felt so bad for him. truthfully this is why i made remi. I had MADE remi to ship with blitz to make comfort art of him in HAPPY art pieces because it pained me to see him go through all this stuff in the show. and I seriously can't wait to finally see him SUPER happy with Stolas when they finally get together canonically of course! <3 it's gonna be amazing <3

I know what it's like to suffer from a really bad guilt complex.. I've done and said things I didn't mean in the past.. I'm not gonna sugar coat it, I was AWFUL, but I'm learning from my mistakes.. and I'll be real, I still feel guilty over the things I've said and done because yea. I feel horrible. dispite people I've wronged, forgiving me, and me bettring meself, years later I still feel horrible and have my moments where I'll just sit at my table, stare off and then cry, having an emotional break down. so seeing blitz HATE himself AND beat himself up, and being guilty for the circus fire even though it was an accident.. man it hurts and hits me really hard cause that shit is so relatable...

so.. Idk.. I don't just "simp" or "fangirl" for blitz (I mean I wont deny it I do simp, and fangirl to the extreme lol) I just.. relate to him so much on a personal level it's insane..

so it makes me happy seeing him happy. cause all the poor dude seems to get is big fat F yous in the show left and right, and I draw him shipped with My ocs Remi and Tiziri because both Remi AND tiziri are representation of me somewhat, and because I used to go through what hes going through, It comforts me drawing shipart. dispite what the haters think, Even after stolas x blitz becomes canon, yes, I'm STILL gonna ship my ocs with blitz in my lil AU..

but know I also cannot wait to see stolas and blitz happy.

agh.. I know this is alot. sorry. <XD

I'm kinda emotional rn..

anyway. er. yea. this is my peice. hopefully people kinda understand a little bit of why I stick to oc x blitz ships so much.. and if not hey, thats okay. I get it.

thank you for reading.

artwork was inspired off of the blitz silhouette from the look my way music video

Art (c) me Remi (c) mine helluva boss (c) vivziepop

[atanx]

okay I NEED you to elaborate on your headcanon about kuze being mana’s uncle because I absolutely can see it but I wanna know your context specifically (im @designernishiki btw)

Hi! Thamks for the ask! :3

Okay so admittedly I didnt come up with it myself, but I read it in this and thought yo why the heck not that shits epic?? Just the idea of Kuze having a niece and being a pretty good uncle?? Good shit right there!

I even started writing a little bit, dunno if I'll ever continue it but here:

It starts with his sister. His sweet, shy sister he never really knew, he never really talked to not because they didn't like each other but because she was five years younger and they had virtually nothing in common.

Throughout the years, they'd lost contact, yet, as Kuze's boxing career is falling apart, a letter arrives. Where Akira got his address from, he doesn't have a clue, but he remembers her handwriting.

They meet at Cafe Alps to catch up. He doesn't recognise her in the beginning, but she recognises him.

"Hold her for a second, would you?", Akira shoves her baby into his arms.

"-Oi!", Daisaku complains, mostly because his hands are made for boxing, for hurting, and he most definitely does not know how to take care of a baby.

But Akira leaves to go to the bathroom before he can get another word in.

Daisaku looks down at the potato. Babies are so ugly. They're deformed, weak and disgusting with drool and snot and even less pleasant bodily secretions everywhere. They scream and they're annoying, but - this isn't his baby. This is Akira's baby. He doesn't have the responsibility of having to do everything right. He won't have to suffer through the majority of the baby's tantrums.

The baby's big eyes follow his finger as he boops its little nose. It scrunches up its face in a way he must admit it decently adorable.

"Oh, you got an attitude.", he remarks with amusement. "That's a good thing. I like you."

The baby stretches out its tiny, tiny hand to play with his finger and he lets it.

Daisaku is overcome by wonder. It's so small, so weak and helpless, yet this is a human. This will one day grow up into an adult. What he is holding in his arms is a life. A pure, young, innocent life.

"I see you've become acquainted!", Akira teases him as she sits down, not making a move to take the baby back.

"Aa. It's got spunk."

His sister chuckles.

"What's it's name?", Daisaku asks.

"Kuze Mana.", Akira responds, looking at the baby with a lot of fondness. The little shit starts gnawing on his finger. He lets her.

"Eh? You're not hitched?"

"Nah, she was an accident, but I wanted to keep her."

"Huh."

"So, Daisaku... How have you been holding up?", Akira asks him, tone becoming a tad bit gentler. "I heard about what's happening with your boxing career."

Kuze clicks his tongue. "Don't believe everything you hear. Reason why things are going downhill is that I did something the Championship doesn't like so they're forcing me to lose. Bunch of fuckers."

Akira hums. "And what, you're just going to let them walk all over you?"

"Pf. As if. The reason I started up boxing is because I wanted to fight people stronger than me, not get tossed around by losers I could defeat in my sleep. I could tough it out, but... This isn't about strength or perseverance. Getting back in the bosses' good graces is gonna take a long time and then it's one wrong move and I'm in the doghouse again.", Kuze snorts derisively. "This is more showbiz than boxing. No, I think I'm done with it. Only question is what happens after."

"Do you have a job in mind yet?"

"No. That's most of the problem.", Kuze admits. "Like hell I'm gonna start an office job or anything like that. Don't exactly have qualifications either."

Akira looks him over critically. "I guess so."

"I have received an offer.", Kuze states, staring at the table. "He said my strength and potential was wasted there."

"Eh? Is it the Yakuza?"

Kuze looks up in shock. "How did you know?"

Akira smiles. "I've had a couple of friends who were in there."

"I see.", he states, still uncertain of what she thinks of it.