#so i guess im getting a water bottle for christmas

[teenagefeeling]

i discovered that in the break room at work they have hot cocoa mix in the cabinet with the tea and coffee so the past 2 nights i've worked i've had a hot cocoa for the end of my shift and i cannot recommend this more. sorting books at the library while drinking hot cocoa in december is an objectively cozy vibe

[ky-yk]

mistletoe (kjw x f!reader)

genre: fluff; wc: 2.4k

a/n: guess who’s back, back again

but fr tho the liz brainrot is REAL she’s so ☹️☹️ and im in dire need of content for this cutie so someone had to take matters into their own hands

"ahh, jiwon-ah, you're so cute!"

that was the first thing jiwon heard as soon as she opened the door to the ive dorms: your usually quiet demeanor going out the window at the sight of her.

with a big, bright smile, you immediately launched yourself at the girl and threw your arms over her shoulders, bringing her in for a hug. the poor girl was flustered beyond belief, absolutely clueless about where to place her arms and as red as rudolph's nose. reluctantly, she wrapped them around your waist, which only prompted you to hug the girl even closer and tighter.

"i missed you so much, jiwonie, you don't even know," you whispered into her neck, as if you'd told her a secret. the poor girl's eyes went wide and she could feel her face heat up even more. you, though, you just thought she felt even more huggable considering the cold seoul air you walked through with your members to get to their dorm entrance.

speaking of members...

liz raised her gaze to meet 4 other pairs of eyes staring at the whole ordeal in front of them. their looks ranged from surprised at their usually reserved member being so affectionate, to a teasing smirk here and there, to a big smile from someone who's just happy to be there.

"chaewon-unnie! kkura-unnie! you guys made it!" shouted yujin from the inside of the dorm. at her shout, you drew back a little bit from jiwon to peek over her shoulder at her leader. you gave yujin a big smile that she returned with her own, her eyes disappearing into crescents.

your members let themselves into the ive dorm one by one, greeting jiwon's members with yunjin closing the door behind them. with how you've buried your face in jiwon's chest, still hugging the girl from the waist instead, you missed the looks that your members shot the girl. jiwon moved her arms up to your shoulders and finally grabbed ahold of herself and cleared her throat.

"um, let's go in, y/n-ie?"

she felt you nod against her chest.

"are you gonna let go...?"

you lifted your head to pout up at the girl. "do you want me to?" you asked. she immediately shook her head no with wide eyes.

"i--i don't! i was just asking, y/n-ie..." she pouted. you smiled up at her and gave her a peck on the cheek. "you're so cute, jiwonie..."

with your arms still around each other, you both made your way into the living room. unbeknownst to you both, conversations were brewing in the kitchen.

"100,000 won says they're getting together tonight," yunjin offhandedly mentions.

"absolutely not!" chaewon counters.

"yeah, that'd just be easy money," sakura shrugged. rei looked up from the dessert she was making to shoot sakura a smirk.

"wait, they're not together, yet?" kazuha asked. "i mean, they sure looked like they were."

"nope. have you seen jiwon? the poor girl could never make moves on y/n-ie. i mean, look!" rei directs everyone's attention towards the living room where y/n is sitting close to wonyoung while the latter was showing something on her phone. meanwhile, jiwon was sulking off to the side -- complete with a pout, crossed arms, and a giant ugly christmas sweater that makes her look so small you wouldn't think she was just as tall as yujin and wonyoung.

"i guess fearlessness carries over to shamelessness? try being more obvious, guys," gaeul sighs as she walks by the group in the kitchen, trying to get a bottle of water from the fridge. "yeah, guys, the dessert's not gonna make itself," yujin adds.

slowly, everyone starts piling out of the kitchen into the dining room. the girls all unconsciously assigned themselves roles of either setting the table or arranging the dishes. you didn't want to disturb the girls or mess with their flow, so you stood at the side by yourself as you watched the christmas feast slowly come to life with a smile on your face.

you felt someone's eyes boring into the side of your head, so you turned your head in the direction and found jiwon staring right at you. when you caught her, she immediately looked ahead at the spread in front of her, while a red was spreading across her face that she was hoping you wouldn't catch. chuckling at the girl's actions, you walked over to her and cuddled up to her side while wrapping your arms around her waist. you looked up at the girl and gave her an easy smile. when she hesitantly met your gaze, you could feel your heart race as she gave you a smile in return. you tightened your hold on her waist as you buried your face in her neck.

with how close you were holding her, you were hoping she wouldn't feel the way your heart jackhammered against your chest.

ah, what am i going to do with you, jiwonie?

with a clap, sakura called on everyone's attention. "ja, before we eat, i just wanted to say a few words." everyone listened intently at the eldest person in the room as she rambled on and on, thanking her own members as well as the ive members and congratulating them on a successful year.

while wiping away tears, yujin announced, "alright, let's dig in!"

the girls all took a seat around the table and dug in. conversation flowed effortlessly between them. half the time, though, you would just stay quiet and relish in the moment. with your it's not very often you and your members would get to have dinner with friends like normal people your age, so you wanted to savor every second of this.

as soon as the energy started going down, wonyoung went into the kitchen to grab something. you, leeseo, and eunchae were talking about the latest twice comeback when a round of cheers piqued your interest. you looked up and peeked over your shoulder to see what the ruckus was about when you saw wonyoung walking over carrying a few bottles of soju. soon enough, the energy came back up as the drinks started flowing -- maybe even more so than when you guys weren't tipsy.

throughout the night, you and jiwon had gotten pretty close, but only to hear each other over the rowdiness of everyone else (yunjin and drinks never made a good combo). in the middle of your conversation, though, a certain someone's shout caught both of your attention.

"look who got caught under the mistletoe!" yujin screamed. you excitedly looked up, trying to find the damned fruit around the ceiling, until you finally found it.

above you and jiwon.

the table immediately erupted in hollers, with the mistletoe acting like a spotlight on the both of you. "kiss! kiss! kiss!" the group chanted, lead by jiwon's own leader. you could feel the heat radiating off of jiwon. you knew the girl was shy -- she didn't like having all this kind of attention on her. you chuckled nervously as you turned to look at the girl who looked like she was about to cry, face as red as a tomato. thankfully, wonyoung and gaeul took notice and shifted the conversation towards something else.

however, the damage had already been done.

quietly, the girl got up from her seat. on instinct, you reached up for her, wanting to make sure she was okay. before you could even get a word out, jiwon was already shaking her head. "it's okay, y/n," she whispered before running off to what you assumed was her room.

all you could do was watch helplessly as she disappeared. you turned back towards the table, looking on as everyone just continued as if nothing had happened. as you assessed the scene, you noticed wonyoung staring straight at you. as soon as you made eyes with the girl, she gave you a nod as if to say, "go after her." with that, you excused yourself from the table and made your way towards the room you saw jiwon disappear into, vaguely hearing a slap, a groan, and a distant, "what the hell were you thinking?!" from wonyoung.

you stared at the white door ahead of you before hesitantly raising your fist up to knock. after three raps, you spoke up. "jiwon-ah? it's me, y/n. can i come in?"

after 5 seconds, nothing came from the other side. you knew jiwon -- she didn't like being pressured. you were about to turn around and leave, before you heard a small, "come in," from the other side of the door.

slowly, you turned the knob and pushed the door open and peeked your head in. "jiwonie? you good?" you asked in a small voice. you let yourself into the room more and noticed how small the girl looked sitting on the edge of her bed -- as if she wasn't at least 5 cm taller than you. you slowly approached the girl and took a seat beside her.

you waited for a minute, just sitting in silence with jiwon. while usually you would relish in the silence, your mind was racing a mile a minute, wondering how you were going to talk to her again.

until she made your life easier.

"i'm sorry about that earlier," jiwon said in a small voice. it broke your heart to see and hear the usually boisterous girl sound so...defeated. you quickly turned your attention toward her and were quick to reassure her.

"wait, why are you sorry?" you asked.

"i...my members must've made you feel uncomfortable. i'll talk to them about this tomorrow," the girl sighed, complete with a shake of her head.

"no no, i wasn't uncomfortable, i swear, jiwonie," you tried again, cupping her hands for comfort.

"you don't have to lie, i compl--"

the words died in her throat as she felt a pair of lips come in contact with her cheek. she immediately felt the heat rise up her neck to her face and her eyes went wide as she processed what the hell just happened.

she didn't have much time to do so, though, because she felt your hand snake up and cup her other cheek to get her to look at you. when your eyes met, your hand moved down to cup her neck instead while your eyes disappeared into crescents -- her favorite part about you.

but that might just change as soon as she felt your kiss on her forehead.

is it possible to get second-hand drunk? i didn't have a touch of alcohol, but maybe all that soju in the air got me drunk. yeah. that's probably it, because there's absolutely no way y/n is looking at me like i put the stars in the sky.

"i'm not mad at your members because i really wanted to do this, jiwon," you whispered. you felt her face heat up more under your palm. how can someone be this cute?

"really?"

"really, jiwonie."

"...is that all you wanted to do?" she whispered.

you chuckled at the girl. "if that's all you want me to do."

she leaned forward to nose at your nose like a cat. oh, jiwon, you're going to be the death of me. "what if i want you to do more?"

"then your wish is my command."

you took that as your sign to close the gap between you two and softly pressed your lips to hers. for a second, it seemed as though jiwon was frozen in place, but it seems like her brain had finally caught up to the present when she returned your kiss with a lot more passion. you couldn't help but smile into the kiss and tighten the hold you had on her waist -- it was like everything you've ever imagined.

you both finally pulled apart after a few seconds but still remained well within each other's proximity. she was about to lean in for another before you stopped her, your finger meeting her lips instead.

"uh-uh-uh, jiwonie," you chuckled. "not yet."

the girl only pouted in reply. she buried her head in your neck and rested her whole weight on you, prompting you both to lie down on the bed behind you both. your heart had never felt fuller.

"jiwon-ah."

she lifted herself off of you a little bit to get a look at you, attention on you like a cat to a laser pointer. you smiled at the girl before leaning up and giving her another peck. when you pulled away, she immediately chased after your lips for an even longer and a little more heated kiss. you kept your hands on her neck to both steady her and try to control the pace. when she pulled away for a bit, you took that as your cue. "we still need to talk, jiwonie," you said. it was as if she snapped out of her daze with how her eyes went wide and she immediately pushed herself off of you.

you could tell she was getting worried again, and you decided to stop her in her tracks. "ah-ah-ah, jiwonie. it's okay what you did back there, really. i just think we should talk first about...whatever this is," you reasoned out.

jiwon still looked very much apprehensive, but she nodded anyways.

"if you want, i can start first. i very much like you, kim jiwon, and i'd like it if you were mine only," you spoke with much conviction.

"i..." was the only thing the other girl could let out.

you, though, you just kept staring at her with an easy smile. you didn't want to pressure her into anything, and you hoped she understood that with the look you were giving her.

"i...i like you a lot too, y/n-ie. i really do. but..."

"ah-ah-ah! no buts, jiwon-ah. i know exactly what you're going to say, and I'm not having it. you're the most amazing person on the planet, and if you'll let me, i want to make you feel like you are," you tried to assure her.

all she could do was gape at you, so you did what you could do best -- you gave her one more peck.

"alright, are you ready to get back out there? we've still got gifts to open, you know?"

"only if you stay with me."

"there's no where else i'd rather be."

[geodetojoy]

GUESS WHO'S ON TIME (FOR ONCE) BABYYY

PART 11 YIPPEE

"issa pwobwem :("

"thats one small step for- bshhhh youre just squished"

"its the death particle"

"youre no longer an NPC"

"the program shoots out millions of neutrinos and when its your time... the simulation's over"

"THE VALLEY GIRLS???"

"if he didnt like you hed just,, squish your grandpa"

"youre not gettin any bed tonight."

"yeah we go through 'em [dogs] really quick,,,"

"i went walking with my dog one morning.. well. previous dog."

"ssssssswear word."

okokok this next whole part is fucking wild alright

ok so i told disc about this but. essentially about half way through the period he gets a two second phone call, he says "alright cool" and hangs up. we ask him what its about, he says dont worry about it. and, like a guy who says not to worry, he fucking bolts into the chemical room, we hear shit falling over, crashes, banging, he comes back in, continues the lesson like normal

at some point hes like "alright, so-" and fucking walks out the door. he congregates with the other science teachers. he walks back in the room, takes shit from the corners, throws em around the place

we're all fucking losing our damn minds at this point. because who wouldnt be.

then, after a good. 10 minutes of this. the damn FIRE MARSHALL WALKS IN THE DOOR

and we're like???? dude???? why tf didnt you just tell us????

and they go straight to the chemical room and, ok for context we're not allowed to have food or drinks on our desks bc. science room. but like five kids have their water bottles. so as fucking soon as they close the door behind them, we immediately form a student water bottle brigade and toss them on the counter, where theyre supposed to be, and go back to looking like nothing happened as they walk back in

dude it was fucking wild and so damn funny oml

anyways more quotes

(in response to what he's asking for for christmas) "ammunition. to keep students away."

him: "a chimp is strong enough to rip your arms off."

student: "prove it"

him: "PROVE IT??? oh yeah like im gonna slather myself in peanut butter and jump into a chimp enclosure. (there was also smth abt a banana but i missed it :/)"

"cmon wheeler. thats saaaaad."

"got any acid for me grandpa?"

:)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

[reminiscentreader]

hai jasssss, my silly willy table here are my favs 4 u <3

do you believe in astrology?

do you miss anyone right now?

what are your thoughts on your name?

what’s your favourite name?

what’s something you love about yourself?

what’s something you hate about yourself?

what do you do in your free time?

what’s your favourite disney movie?

what’s your favourite mythical creature?

what is something you’re currently worried about?

what is your deepest fear?

do you collect anything?

what’s your favourite number?

what is your earliest memory?

do you believe in soulmates/true love?

what is your favourite word?

growing up, what did you want to do in life?

what is your favourite album?

what’s something you’re grateful for?

do you trust anyone completely?

what song is currently stuck in your head?

do you believe in aliens?

do you believe in ghosts?

what word do you think you say the most often?

what colour is your water bottle?

yeah sorry its alot- dont answer the number if u dont want to

I don’t really believe that a zodiac sign defines a person but it is kind of fun to see the traits

no not really, I miss Christmas tho 😔

I really love the name Juliette, idk it’s just so pretty (and your name ofc 💗)

I guess I like how much I read, I’d say that’s probably my favourite thing about myself

i don’t really like my personality, I just feel like people don’t really like it

I read in my free time mostly, or write, or listen to music

I’m totally a beauty and the beast girl, I do love Mulan to

Faries, I used to have a massive obsession with them when I was 6-7

Im worried about school/friends lots of things

sick, I’m am so scared of vomit it’s not even funny, I pass out when I see it, also dying

I collect the paint swatches you get at like department stores

my favourite number is 22, idk why I just like it.

my earliest memory is going to ceebies land, (cebeebies is a kids channel in uk)

Absolutely! I believe in true love so so so so much (it’s the reading guys)

my favourite word is minimum……

I’ve always wanted to be a journalist/author since I was like 4 I think?

fearless (Taylor’s version) but alsoevermore.

Im grateful for my mutals/freinds and also my books 🤭

I trust you completely 😘 other than that no

Thats when - Taylor swift

yes I believe in aliens

And I also believe in ghosts

idk actually

My water bottle is green ❤️

thank you for the questions @nqds luv ya ❤️❤️

[mahiiimahiiii]

Hiiiii!!!! I saw you were doing Bg3 Pairings and if you’re able I’d be interested in submitting mine. I’ve only don’t this like one other time but I think these a fun so far :))

Age: 19

She/ Her Cis

Myers Briggs: INTP

Likes: Cats (especially mine), Animals in general, classical art, most kinds of music (especially rock and alternative), horror movies, gothic literature, being outside

Dislikes: Cat and Animals Haters, loud noises, people who are very angry all the time, modern pop, Wasps, people who don’t appreciate art and artists, Peas, Lima Beans :(

Favorite Feature: My eyes, most people say I have pretty eyes so I guess thats my most outstanding feature

Favorite Food: Steak and Lobster (also cookies, god I love cookies)

Song that would describe me: Squaring Up by Sir Chloe

Interests: Art, Writing, Going outdoors especially in the rural countryside or in the woods, cats

Hobbies: Drawing, Writing, Reading, Swimming, Weightlifting, dancing, spending time with my cats, listening to music

Mini Description: I’m 5’6, 175 lbs, muscular build, I have shoulder length black dyed hair with purple roots and blunt bangs. I’m goth so I dress in all black like all the time, sometimes I add in some darker colors. Im kind of a quite person until you start talking to me and then I can’t stop yapping about one of my hobbies or interest or some niche topic I really like. It’s funny though because some people are scared to talk to me when they first meet me, and trust me im literally just a goofball who is obsessed with art and cats. When im not studying for my classes im usually working on my comic book that I want to publish and/or working on animation because I want to be an animator and make a show out of my comic book. I like to keep busy, I don’t like to stay still lol

Anyways have a good day/night! Thank you for your time! :D

(i am staring at you with jealousy and disrespect, also you have good taste in music.)

this was a bit more difficult, but ultimately made my decision because sir chloe is very karlach coded, and so is disliking lima beans.

i get that in people are afraid to talk to you, i've heard in some alt subcultures that's the general vibe! i find that those who may be the scariest are the sweetest at heart.

i feel like both of you have an orange cat energy about you, if that makes sense. im feelin, red velvet cupcakes, and those chocolate covered cherries people buy from the dollar store during Christmas time. no clue why anyone would like them, but they're sold nonetheless.

(dunno if that's the most American thing i've said, will someone let me know if it is.)

a couple of odd balls if you catch my drift.

also, you can steal her clothes, though in a modern sense karlach would probably just be in baggy tees and sweats. always the best outfit to have in ones wardrobe.

one thing of her affection would be insisting for you to do her eyeliner, special bonding time, per se.

it reminds me of that image of the two girls doing each-others makeup. :'D

i think because you both have scary dog energy she probably will need to offset it by being bright and bubbly.

a date seems like snuggles when you cant sleep late at night, so you give into the insomnia and watch video essays together, with cups of tea of course. perhaps building a pillow fort!

im sure she would love cats, a little guy in her house!!! a creature just chilling there!!! wow!!!!!

scents would be, rain on concrete, and water left in a water-bottle for too long. both positive things i suppose.

hope you enjoyyyed

[topperscumslut]

are u ever gonna post the impractical jokers 90s au

ok ok so i was kinda hesitant to post it just bcuz it’s very… not well written lol. and i wasn’t really sure if anyone would actually want to read it but it seems like there actually is a demand for it so here y’all go ig 🤷🏻‍♀️

so i wrote this when i was 14 when one of my irl best friends introduced me to her online best friend who was also obsessed with impractical jokers and we decided to start a fan account on instagram and write a self insert fic together ab us going to HS in the 90s and meeting the jokers (even tho i ended up doing all of the writing which i was actually kinda happy about lmao). so you can very much tell that a 14 yr old wrote it and a lot of the plot doesn’t make sense lmaooo but im just gonna post it as it is and not try to edit it to make it sound better or anything. for now im just gonna post it chapter by chapter which is something i haven’t done before cuz i usually only write one shots nowadays so yea just lmk if y’all wanna be added to a taglist!!! but yea anyway here y’all go.

masterlist for this fic

chapter 1 word count: 475

Intro

The year is 1994. Two best friends are going back to high school after winter break, one of which newly single and sure no one could replace her so-called “Mr. Right” - until the pair meets four boys from Staten Island who just might change their worlds forever. Prepare for something amazing.

Chapter 1 - Stupid Boy

Sarah and Kendall hadn’t seen each other for weeks due to a fun, yet long, Christmas break. Both had been super busy and weren’t able to see each other or any of their other friends since school got out. The two girls hugged and greeted each other at their lockers, before greeting their friend Jasmyn the exact same way.

The three friends stood at Kendall’s locker as she put away her coat and her water bottle, the group of them talking and laughing about everything that they’d done over break.

“Guess what guys?” Jasmyn said, “I have a new crush!”

“That’s great,” Kendall sighed, forcing a smile.

“Oh no, Jasmyn, really?” Sarah said, “K, are you alright?”

“Uh, yeah. I think so. I mean Andy’s a great guy. He never meant to hurt me, so I shouldn’t let it get to me anyway. I mean, isn’t that what we both want?”

“Yeah, true. But we’re here for you.”

Kendall smiled and opened her mouth to thank the girls before hearing an eerily familiar laugh behind her. It was Andy, her ex.

The ex-lovers made eye contact for not even half a second before Kendall looked away, tears in her eyes.

“I, um,” she sniffled, “oh, I really have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” She ran off to the girl’s bathroom at the end of the hall, and didn’t even have time to lock herself in a stall before bursting out into tears like Niagara Falls. How did Andy have this effect on her?

She wiped up her tears with a scratchy paper towel, wishing she had tissues in her backpack. And wishing she had never met that stupid boy that broke up with her over the phone.

“Thank God for waterproof mascara, am I right?’

“Hey, hey, guys, did you hear that?”

Shit! She thought, Someone heard me.

She peeked outside to see a group of four boys, the voice had belonged to the ferret-like one, sandwiched between one with long, dark hair and thick eyebrows - Sarah’s type - and a handsome one with striking green eyes that she could both see and feel the empathy in.

Oh no no no, please don’t see me! Calm down, Kendall. It’s not like they could come in anyways.

“I think it was just your imagination, Murray,” the final boy said.

Thank God, Kendall thought as Sarah burst through the bathroom door, wrapping an arm around her, the four boys now lost from her mind - for the time being.

[pocket-mobster]

1-11 & 46

1. who is/are your comfort character(s)?

• boba fett (star wars)

• pete dinunzio (the eltingville club)

• engineer (team fortress 2)

• pyro (team fortress 2)

• jacket (hotline miami)

• ice pick joe (goncharov)

there's probably more but that's all i can think of right now

2. lighter or matches?

lighter (id love to get around to buying one someday even if id have no real use for one)

3. do you leave the window open at night?

no my screens have been broken for Years, and im so not used to having it open that it'd feel Weird and Wrong

4. which cryptyd being do you believe in?

jinkx monsoon

5. what color are your eyes?

a mild, not-super-aggressive greenish-blue

6. why did you do that?

heavy-handed character development

7. hair-ties or scrunchies?

clippers. i would never let my hair get anywhere near long enough for either of those to be an option

8. how many water bottles are in your room right now?

4 empty, 3 of varying degrees of fullness

9. which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

iced, but 95% of the time i have it hot cuz it weirdly feels easier even tho its not. like somehow id rather steam milk than just like... pour in the cold milk. tho ive been worried that pouring espresso shots directly into a glass is a bad idea, and i havent gotten around to finding out if thats true and if so what the Correct method is.

10. would you slaughter the rich?

who's askin (NOT A LEGALLY VIABLE ADMISSION OF GUILT FOR ANY PAST, PRESENT OR FUTURE CRIMES THAT MAY BE CONNECTED TO ME IN SOME WAY)

11. favorite extracurricular activity?

im real fickle with hobbies, but my most consistent one is thinking about making music without actually doing it. ive been at it for about 8 years which is really long for me. the thing i actually do the most (that isnt doomscrolling) is good ol vidya. jubeat's the current favorite, but microsoft excel is a perennial classic

46. favorite holiday film?

ive never really had strong opinions on any of them, but i guess i like the nightmare before christmas more than the others? if we broaden the scope of the question to include (american) thanksgiving—since it essentially marks the beginning of the holiday season imo—then id say fantastic mr. fox on a slight technicality since it's my favorite film of all time, period

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

This is gonna be a kinda long post cuz I was looking through the pictures I took with my first digital camera and feeling nostalgic

Most of them are just pictures of layla and mercedes but theres a few of me

This was my friends bunny Radar

The year i got this camera was the year with the most snow ive ever seen. Think we had maybe 2 feet in one night?

One of my few blanket forts. I wouldve liked to make more but I always ended up getting frustrated when I couldn't find things to weigh down the edges of the sheets and they kept falling down. Honestly kinda surprised I managed it with the satin ones here cuz theyre extra slippery (I stopped using them on my bed cuz they slid off too easily and I got annoyed with constantly having to readjust them)

This dude freaked out all the kids in the neighborhood lol. We were convinced he was haunted cuz he would move around sometimes. I dont think he's been over there for several years so im guessing whoever owned him moved.

My friend Jared took this picture of me before English class one day. I wore that jacket a lot. I eventually had to get rid of it cuz I let layla tug on the sleeves when we rough housed and they were getting pretty shredded at the ends

I think this was also the first year I did an Easter egg hunt for layla

And the last time I went to silver dollar city. I'm not sure what I was looking at in that first picture. Not the camera, clearly. That was. Not a trip I enjoyed all that much. I mean it was fun but going on trip was always stressful for me and it was always worse when my dads parents were there cuz despite raising 2 autistic kids they did NOT know how to handle an autistic kid. My parents being with us on this trip made it a little better cuz my mom would set boundaries for me and told them to give me space after a meltdown.

But the small amounts of gender dysphoria I've experienced were a lot worse back then but I didnt know what it was so I also couldn't articulate why them buying me a dress absolutely did NOT cheer me up.

That second picture was the gemstone panning thing that silver dollar city had which is where I got a bunch of my smaller rocks. Mostly sodalite and calcite. Some garnet and different types of quartz. Also had some pyrite which I had in a small jar on a necklace but I have no idea what happened to it. Also not sure what happened to that hat from the last picture. I got it from a souvenir shop in downtown Branson. I still wish id gotten the blue one instead of the pink one.

Mercedes judging my messy ass room. Behind her you can see a bag i made entirely out of magazine clippings

Ok ok so this picture is actually half the reason I decided to look through the pictures from this camera. This was how I liked to decorate my room for Christmas in middle school. I also had 2 mini Christmas trees set up on my night stand. It had 2 levels to it (picture a step) so I had one on each level.

Also in my window sill is the aquarium part of the "self sustaining" aquarium/terrarium we made in 6th grade science out of old coke bottles. I kept that thing for like 2 years. The fish died pretty early on. Got eaten by the snail. Which somehow made MORE snails (I do not know how snail reproduction works) and I ended up with like 30 snails in that bottle. Eventually all the water evaporated out and my mom convinced me to throw the bottle away

THIS is the other picture I was looking for. Layla had a lot of Christmas sweaters cuz she got cold easily. The santa suit was also laylas but I would put it on mercedes sometimes. This is one of the few pictures I have of them dressed up together. I didnt put clothes on mercedes too often cuz she hated it lol

There was a less blurry picture right before this one but mercedes looks mad in this one and I felt it encapsulated her personality better. Also. Man almost forgot about that rocking chair. It was at my grammys for the longest time and then we took it at some point. It was ugly as hell but it was like a giant stim toy for me. Both for rocking but also I liked the rounded parts on the arm rests cuz I could rub my fingers in the divots between them. Mercedes was not happy when we got rid of that chair.

This was about as close as they ever got to cuddling. Mercedes was never a cuddly cat. She tolerated harley cuddling up to her when she was a kitten but I think thats just cuz she was old. She probably wouldn't have tolerated it at all when she was younger.

Is it weird that I can tell I was watching ncis when I took this just by that part of the screen. This was also when my recliner still reclined lol. The handle you had to pull to bring up the foot rest was a plastic thing on the end of a wire and the wire snapped....I think the first day after my sophomore year of highschool?

Aaand heres where I finally figured out I could turn off the flash on my camera in highschool lol

Mercedes after a haircut (while I was cleaning my room)

She looks so soft here 🥺 i miss her

[watchmegetobsessed]

VALERIE - Part V. (Harry Styles)

happy sunday loves!! part 5 is here, buckle up bc we are getting down to business here!! thank you so much for the nice feedbacks, it’s always so moving and inspiring to read your thoughts, so please keep them coming! even if it’s just some gibberish rambling, those are the best haha! now let’s jump right into part 5, we are heading into the christmas mood and im so excited for yall to read this part!! enjoy!

word count: 6.1k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

By the time November nears its end you officially become a couple with Marcus. It happens gradually, two more dates follow your first one, and then on the third one you agree to test the waters of the possibilities between the two of you exclusively. 

Marcus is a great guy. He is funny, caring and smart, always listens to you and cares for even the smallest details about you when you’re talking. He is great company and never fails to make you feel appreciated and wanted. Exactly what you’ve been looking for in a guy, Rosa really hit the nail on the head this time. 

You easily fall into a habit with him. Fridays are for date nights, sometimes you go for little trips outside the city on Sundays and he never misses a chance to send you flowers throughout the week. He is just the type of guy that’s always there to cheer you up with something whenever the days start to weigh down on your shoulders. 

You even have dinner together with Rosa and Steven one Saturday evening, Rosa keeps giving you those ‘I told you so’ eyes whenever Marcus kisses you shortly or places his hand to your waist. You mostly just roll your eyes at her, not wanting to make a big deal out of the two of you, but Rosa knows how long you’ve been trying to find someone. 

What’s a surprising turn is that you start seeing Harry more. Intentionally. You have no idea how it happens, but it does and you’re not mad about it. Some days you grab lunch together whenever he is in the neighborhood, some days you go shopping with him when his sister doesn’t have the time. Harry is a problematic shopper, he takes a long time to decide on clothes so usually you are the one that forces him to choose and finish before all shops close. 

When he has had a rough week and you happened to call him for whatever reason, the two of you agree to meet up for drinks at his place, then end up playing UNO for hours, slowly emptying out two bottles of wine.

It’s starting to get harder to imagine what it was like when things weren’t like this with him. When you were getting anxiety from just the thought of seeing him or having to talk to him. It’s like the both of you are showing a different version of yourselves to each other and you have to admit you enjoy being friends with him. 

He keeps his habit of teasing you and making jokes about you though, but you don’t mind it. He is not doing it in a mean way with the attempt to piss you off, but to make you laugh and start a playful war where you both throw insults at each other until one of you runs out of it and just starts laughing. You feel a kind of dynamic building between you and him that has a way better effect on you than the continuous killing you were doing before.

You can tell Rosa is thankful for the change as well. Whenever she sees you interact with Harry without making a grimace or have that face that screams how badly you want to hit him, she is relieved that she has one less thing to worry about and Valerie will have two amazing godparents who even like each other.

Christmas is always a big parade in your family. Your mom and your aunts always want to celebrate together so in the past few years it has become a tradition to rent a place out that has enough space for the whole extended family and spend three days there from the 23rd to the 25th. This year your dad found a huge cabin in the woods with ten bedrooms and seven bathrooms, just the perfect size for you all. It’s gonna be your parents, Rosa and Steven with Valerie, Aunt Monica, Aunt Teresa with Uncle Andrew, your cousin Etta, her husband Joe and their two kids, your other cousin Lily with her husband Jeremy and their daughter, and lastly you and Harry.  Though your mom urged you to invite Marcus along as well, he could join you for longer than a dinner, since he was already set to fly home to his family.

“You sure he can’t stay for at least the first night?” you mom asks on the phone one evening. You’re stirring the sauce in the pan. holding the phone to your ear with your shoulder so you have both of your hands free.

“Yes, I’m sure. It’s fine, he can come for dinner and then leave later.”

“I get it, but it would have been fun if he stayed,” she sighs, clearly disappointed that she couldn’t change what’s already set. If you’re being honest you don’t mind that Marcus is not staying for the night. You haven’t been dating for that long, you feel like it would be a little uncomfortable to have him there the whole time. A dinner is perfectly fine as a starter, since he hasn’t met anyone else from your family other than Rosa and Steven.

“Anyway,” she sighs moving on, “Have you figured it out how you’re gonna get there?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’ll tag along with someone.”

“Well, I think you should ask Harry. Everyone else is pretty packed already. Rosa and Steven won’t have any extra space with Valerie this year.”

You nod, even though she can’t see you. These past years Rosa always offered you a ride for the holidays, but even when they brought her over for just one night their car was jam-packed. No way you’re gonna fit in there so you are left with Harry since Marcus can only come in the afternoon.

“Sure, I’ll ask him.”

You shoot him a text that day and he replies right away that you’re welcomed in his car, though he won’t be able to take you back since he is leaving early in the morning on the 25th since he is flying back to the UK to his family. It’s fine, you think, you’ll just probably just tag along with aunt Monica back to the city, she always gets her a car for these occasions. Though it’s not your ideal option, she is not the best partner for rides, because she is a fan of smoking in the car, but you don’t have much of a choice. 

“I’ll call you when I leave, okay?” Marcus tells you on the morning of the 23rd. It’s early, barely seven, but he is up because he needs to work a little today and you are finishing up packing since Harry will be here in an hour to pick you up.

“Sure. Drive safe,” you huff sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at your suitcase that’s still not closed, clothes are sticking out on the side and you’re sure you’ll have to sit on it to pull the zipper.

“See you later,” Marcus says before you end the call. 

It’s rather comical how you try to close the suitcase but you only care about the fact that you eventually succeed. Only minutes before eight you are packed and ready so when you get Harry’s text that he is outside you can leave right away.

Seeing you with your big suitcase he hops out of the car and rushes to help you.

“How long are you planning to stay, Y/N?” he chuckles lifting the bag up and you just shrug your shoulders with a smirk. You’ve alway been a heavy packer, no need to try to cover it up.

Harry throws your stuff into the back of the car as you take the passenger seat. His phone is hooked to the car, a playlist of his own playing gently through the speakers and you’re surprised to catch on the Christmas feeling in the songs.

“Are you in the spirit?” you ask when he gets into the car.

“Like to set the mood ahead,” he chuckles starting the car and off you go. 

Ridiculous to think about it, but it’s actually the first time you sit in the same car with Harry or see him drive even. The way you two used to be was not quite ideal to have you locked up in such a small place as a car. But now you have nothing against spending the almost hour long drive with him. 

“Can you pull out the navigation when I leave the highway? I’m not sure where exactly I need to head,” he asks you, eyes fixed on the road ahead of him and nodding you open the app on your phone so his can keep on playing the music without the voice of the navigation interrupting it. 

“Excited to spend your first Christmas with us?” you ask. Though Harry was there at several family events, it’s his first Christmas since becoming Valerie’s godfather. 

“I am,” he chuckles, nodding, hands gripping the wheel gently. He is a natural driver, easily working the car, the kind you feel completely safe next to. As Baby It’s Cold Outside comes on a smile stretches across your lips as you start gently bop your head to the song. “I’ve heard crazy stuff about Christmases at your family,” he adds glancing in your way for a second.

“Like what?”

“I remember when Steven told me about his first Christmas with your family. You remember that?”

Searching in your memories you tried to remember when was the first time Rosa brought Steven along. They dated for two years before they got married so it’s been about five years since then, but as you think hard the memory of that specific year pops into your head making you laugh as you nod.

“Oh, yes. The year Aunt Monica almost burned the Airbnb down,” you sigh grinning at the memory. She brought some special kind of cigars that year that were told to be curiosities from somewhere fancy, but they ended up the literal worst quality, flaming bits were falling out them all the time when she would smoke one, almost making the rug catch on fire wherever she went. Best thing is that she was already drunk on the liquor so she didn’t even notice, there was always a person on Aunt Monica duty, following her around, making sure nothing burnt down. 

“Steven said he had a moment when he thought about bailing,” Harry tells you and you gasp, because that’s new information.

“Really?”

“Yeah, but like only for a split second after your dad walked in on him naked in the bathroom. That was kind of the last straw. Luckily Rosa could convince him to stay. Guess it all worked out at the end.” Harry smiles as he stares ahead of him.

You can’t imagine a version where Rosa and Steven don’t end up together. They met through a mutual friend not long after Rosa had a nasty breakup with her scumbag ex. Steven was there to put her back together and be her partner as she found herself again. The change and positive impact he had on her could be seen every day and you were so thankful to him for helping your sister find her way out of such a dark place in her life. It didn’t take them too long to start dating and he proposed a little more than a year later. You still remember how Rosa was screaming in the phone when she called you that evening telling you that Steven proposed. They are quite literally a match made in heaven. It’s been your goal in life to find this person in your life though you haven’t had much luck with men so far. Ironically, if you were in a room with every man you were ever involved with in any kind of way, Harry would be the only one you’d want to talk with. If you had to make this exact same choice just months ago you would have chosen to run out screaming. 

“Maybe this year it’s your turn to get horrified from us,” you laugh, sinking down a little in your seat as you adjust the seat belt. You’re still quite far away from the cabin, you might as well make yourself comfortable. 

“I think there’s not much that I haven’t witnessed yet. I was walked in on at the bathroom once too, but it was your cousin, Etta.”

“When did that happen?” you ask with a heartfelt laugh.

“I think it was last summer at one of your nieces’ birthday party. Luckily everything was already tucked away when she basically barged in.”

“She didn’t miss much,” you tease him with a smirk and your witty comment catches him by surprise.

“Are you saying my dick is not imposing enough to be worthy of peeking?” he asks with raised eyebrows and you’re happy he is driving. His intimidating look would already burn right into your skin by now, but he is forced to watch the road instead. 

“I mean, if you want to put it that way…” you continue, but a laugh escapes your lips.

“Take that back, Y/N,” he orders, sneaking a hard look at you before turning back ahead, but you can see the small smile hiding on his lips. 

“Or what?”

“Or you might find yourself in a war you don’t want to be involved in,” he warns you, but his words don’t quite have the effect on you he wanted. Because in a heartbeat you find yourself feeling… excited? Thrilled? Even curious about his means behind his words. 

“Wouldn’t want to lie, so…” Pretending like you’re sorry you shrug your shoulders as Harry gives you a look that makes your stomach churn. Now either you are gonna have some fun teasing each other or… you just threw yourself into the arms of the Devil himself. Either way, you’re certain Harry won’t leave it in that.

Turning your head to your window you can’t keep your smile contained as you think of the fact that how big of a lie it was. Harry is surely not a guy who should ever worry about any aspect of his manhood. You’re talking from experience. 

***

The cabin is absolutely gorgeous, just the perfect place for a cozy family holiday. Hidden from the busy roads with a secure gate and tall trees on both sides, the back of it is facing a majestic view of the valley and the evergreen covered hill in the distance. With an interior straight from the pages of a magazine, you need just a few moments to adjust to your surroundings upon arriving.

“I saved a nice room for you, Harry!” your mother gushes the moment she sees the two of you walk through the front door. You huff in annoyance.

“And what about me?” 

Harry chuckles giving you a smug grin. “Guess you’re just second after me.”

“It’s his first Christmas with us, he deserves the better room,” your mom shushes at you, making your eyes roll instantly. It’s still hard to believe Harry has this kind of charm over most people.

After greeting everyone who is already there, your dad, Aunt Teresa and Etta with her family, your mom walks the two of you down one of the hallways that leads to several bedrooms. She stops at the last door with an excited grin on her face as she opens it revealing the bedroom behind it. 

You instantly understand why she thought this is the best one. The view is absolutely breathtaking, the gentle noon light is flowing into the room through the floor to ceiling windows, the king sized bed facing them so when you wake up in the morning the first thing you see is the endless sea of evergreens on the side of the hill. Not to mention the room has its own bathroom, not many of the other rooms are blessed with that. There’s a spacious shower that has enough space for at least three people in there and it’s one of those fancy ones that can make you feel like you’re having a shower in the middle of a jungle, mood lights and bluetooth speakers attached to it.

“No fucking way Harry is getting this room!” you gasp as you look around, taking in the luxure your mother is willing to hand over to him.

“Jealous, much?” he smirks, throwing his sports bag to the bed already ruining the neatly made sheets. He does not deserve this.

“Mom!” you huff turning to her, but she has made her mind up already.

“Your room is nice too, don’t worry Honey. Let Harry have this one!”

“I really can’t believe you are taking his side,” you grumble under your breath, folding your arms on your chest as you take one last look at the stunning view. 

“Come on, Y/N. He is a guest!”

“He is not! You said it yourself he is family now!” you retort and Harry just laughs behind you, so you shoot him a murderous look over your shoulder, that just fuels his entertainment.

“Don’t be silly. Your room is the second one on the right from here,” she smiles at you. “We are gonna take a walk around once everyone arrives, so get settled by then!” she informs you before walking out. 

“Hey,” Harry’s soft voice makes you turn around. “You can have the room if you want.”

Your eyebrows rise at the kind gesture, it’s very not like him, even now in your friendly state, so it’s quite odd that he is willing to switch rooms with you.

“No need,” you shake your head grabbing the handle of your suitcase that you abandoned at the door.

“You sure? It doesn’t matter where I’m sleeping, really.”

“I’m not gonna deal with my mother’s scolding if she finds out I took your room, so you can totally stay.” 

Harry chuckles as you head out, but stop at the door to have one last word with him. “Though I might occupy your bathroom, that shower looks nice.”

“All yours,” he grins before you walk out.

***

By 11 am everyone arrives and the once quiet cabin is now buzzing from life, children running around, Valerie’s babbling shoots through the spacious living area where Rosa set her crib up, your mother is already making preparations for dinner while most of the men are circled around the pool table having a beer since no one has to drive for the rest of the day. 

“When is Marcus arriving?” Rosa asks, eyes on Valerie who is absolutely destroying something that once were an elephant maybe, but she’s been ruthless with the poor animal, chewing and throwing it around all the time, so it’s not just a grey, fuzzy mess.

“Sometime before dinner. He has some work to finish,” you tell her pulling your legs under yourself on the comfy couch.

“And explain again, why isn’t he staying for the night?” she turns to you with a puzzled look.

“Because he is going home to his family early in the morning tomorrow.”

“Okay, but he could have just left from here, didn’t he?”

“It’s… complicated. It’s better if he just goes back home tonight and then leaves from there in the morning.”

What you leave out of the whole explanation is that you didn’t really invite him to stay the night as well. Sounds horrible and ridiculous but you didn’t think you’d have felt comfortable with him staying. You’ve been dating for only barely more than a month and though things are going well, you felt like starting with just a dinner would be a better idea. Marcus didn’t question why you didn’t offer him to stay, it seemed like he was fine with just coming and then going after dinner. 

Does this make you a bad girlfriend? Maybe, but you value your comfort and feelings more than to ruin your favorite holiday with your family. 

Just as you mom said, once everyone is settled in their rooms for the upcoming three days, the whole gang dresses up to have a walk around taking the welcoming little path that runs around the cabin and is smooth enough for Valerie’s carriage as well. Your nieces and nephew are quick to surround Harry and nag him to join them at the front, exploring the woods surrounding the path. It seems like he doesn’t mind it and gladly takes part in the adventure, also secretly looking after them so their parents can have a break and enjoy the stroll in hopes the walk tires the kids out enough that they’ll willingly go to bed in the evening instead of whining to stay up late. 

You’re walking with Etta next to you as she tells you about Hannah’s latest dance competition when you spot that Harry and Oliver, your nephew, Etta’s other kid are suspiciously whispering around pointing in your direction. At last Olly nods and runs up to you showing a quite thick piece of wood into your hand. You look down at him confused.

“Thank you?” you tell him a little unsure what it’s all about.

“I found it in a bush, I want to take it home. Harry said you’ll keep it for me because you have a good hand for thick and hard sticks.”

You almost choke on your own breath, as Olly just carelessly runs back ahead to join his sister. You immediately look over to Etta in fear that she heard what Harry told Oliver, but luckily she was talking with Joe turning back, not really paying attention to the conversation you just had with her son. If she did, Harry probably wouldn’t live by now.

Speaking of the devil, you look in his way and that annoying, smug grin is right there as he nods in your way saluting before he shows his hands into his pockets and turns back around to catch up with the kids. 

That disgusting piece of shit really went into the depth of teaching something secretly dirty to your nephew as a way of payback for your comment in the car earlier. He surely wasn't just joking when he said you’d pay for what you said. And you have a feeling he is just getting started. 

***

Aunt Monica is like a legend in your family. She is the oldest between your mom and her sisters, already in her sixties, but in the heart she still feels like she has just turned twenty. She never married, but had several men in her life, love affairs, short flings, but none of them lasted for more than a year. 

“Why would I settle when there’s so many fish in the sea?” she once told you, her iconic Chanel sunglasses sat on her nose as she sipped on her martini. 

She has worked many jobs throughout her life, she was once a dancer, she waited tables and even worked as a TV host at one point in the ‘80s. She was the true free spirit of the family, her sisters often questioned her sanity, but you think there’s nothing wrong with how she lived her life, enjoying it to the last bit. In the early ‘90s she was seeing a millionaire, probably the only man she would have given her lifestyle up for. Unfortunately, they never married, the man passed away due to his heart problems, however, since he had little to zero family he left basically everything to Aunt Monica. Money, house, cars, business, everything. Being the smart woman that she is, she handed over the business into professional hands but she is still the owner, so the money is still flowing even though she could have lived happily on the money she inherited without ever having to work a day. 

She seems a little odd in your family, but she has always been a loving aunt to you, a caring sister and she never fails to take care of her loved ones. She is the one to pay for all these Christmas getaways, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to stay in places this nice.

“What’s all the money for if I don’t spend it on my family?” she always says when someone questions if she is fine with paying for everything. Your mom and Teresa have tried to convince her to let them at least pay for part of it but she wouldn’t even listen to them. 

She likes to have her own, sometimes odd ways in life. She definitely has a drinking problem, but not in a dangerous way. You have never seen her completely wasted, she just likes to keep things buzzing and always have a drink on her whenever she needs the extra fun. Because of her past she has the greatest stories about meeting famous people back in the days or how soldiers used to try to win her over when she was just a teenager.

“Oh, those things happened,” your mom told you when one day you questioned if you could believe all the crazy stories Aunt Monica tells you. “She was like… the star of the show. Used to hate living in her shadow, but I can’t blame her for enjoying life and doing the things I was too afraid to do myself.”

Now you’re sitting in the sunroom that faces the amazing view behind the cabin, the Christmas tree is standing tall in the corner, beautifully decorated in white and beige. Valerie is snuggled up to your chest as you gently rub her back and you listen to Aunt Monica tell you about how a literal captain once proposed to her after just three days of knowing each other.

“He was a gentleman, but a beast in the bed, Y/N. I’m telling you, men in uniform are just a different level of satisfaction.”

She sighs deep, taking a sip from her margarita that’s definitely not her first drink, and you just laugh nodding.

“He was begging for me to go to Italy with him.”

“And why didn’t you?”

“Who said I didn’t?” she asks with a pretentious hurt look turning to you and you just laugh. You should have known the story would go this way. “I accepted the offer, only turned down his proposal when we sailed off and then we parted as soon as I stepped onto the land of Italy. Broke his heart into pieces, but I was too busy enjoying the Italian summer.”

Harry comes in and hands you a bottle filled with juice that probably Rosa sent for Valerie.

“Thank you,” you smile at him shortly as you adjust the little girl in your arms and hand her the bottle.

“Young boy, have you ever proposed to someone?” Aunt Monica asks Harry who stops in his way as he was already about to head out, but now he walks back to the sofa where she is sitting.

“No, not yet,” he shakes his head.

“And how do you think you would if the time came?”

You watch Harry think to himself at the odd and quite random question. It’s not really something you would have ever asked him, but now that there’s the chance to hear his answer you are listening curiously. 

“Depends on the woman I’m proposing to,” he replies after a few seconds.

“How would you propose to Y/N?”

Your eyes widen as you turn to your aunt with shock all over your face. You definitely didn’t want yourself dragged into this.

“Aunt Monica, that’s--”

“Shush! I’m just asking theoretically. Wanna hear his answer.”

Harry’s eyes wander over to your sitting figure on the sofa as he leans onto the back of the one in front of him. You can feel the heat crawling up on your neck to your cheeks under his burning look and you just know he enjoys how nervous you got from this simple question that wasn’t even asked from you. 

Licking his lips he moves his eyes from you over to Aunt Monica who is still waiting for his answer.

“Something romantic, but not too grandiose, I know she doesn’t like being in the center of the attention that much. Maybe…” Tapping on his chin you listen to his words and without even realizing you hold your breath. “Maybe on a hike with a nice view. She would be admiring the view when I get down on one knee and as she turns around I pop the lid on the box.”

What bugs you is that it’s an awfully accurate description of how you’d imagined your proposal. He was right about many aspects, like how you don’t like being in the center of attention. No idea how he nailed so easily, but he did. 

Glancing down you pretend to be busy with Valerie who is still peacefully drinking her juice, eyes wandering around the room relentlessly.

“So you really look to satisfy her deepest fantasies, careful about even the smallest details. Women appreciate it,” Aunt Monica nods, completely oblivious to how uncomfortable she just made you feel.

“Thank you, I do like to satisfy women,” Harry cheekily answers with a smirk, eyes locking with yours for a moment as Aunt Monica lets out a laugh at the dirty comment. Before you could bite your tongue a retort slips out of your mouth.

“What a shame you don’t always succeed.”

Harry’s eyes turn from playful to dark pretty quickly and you enjoy the victory over him. Your comment in the car earlier already wounded his manhood, now it’s another stab right into his… crotch. It’s the least he deserves after what he taught poor Olly.

“That I don’t believe. He seems like an absolute pleaser.” Aunt Monica winks in Harry’s way who just smiles at her shyly, but you can tell your comment is still bugging him. 

“I think Y/N knows that too herself, am I right?” He tilts his head to the side and you stand your ground with holding his gaze and not looking away.

“Don’t be so sure about that,” you simply say, just when you hear your mom calling out for you. “Would you take her please?” you innocently ask walking up to Harry, holding Valerie out for him. You can tell he is looking for a witty comeback, but he has nothing just yet, so he is stuck with keeping his mouth shut as he takes baby Valerie from you. You gift him with a sweet, but definitely spikey smile before leaving him there with Aunt Monica. 

***

Dinner is already almost ready, you’re helping your mom and Aunt Teresa in the kitchen with the finishing touches, Joe and Harry packing out the wine bottles from the rack Jeremy brought them in, the two of them examining the bottles with such professionalism you almost believe they have the slightest idea about what to look for in a good wine. 

“Should we open some red or white ones for tonight’s dinner?” Joe asks your mom who is the master chef when it comes to the dinner.

“Red would suit better,” she answers. “Are they sweet?”

“Some, yeah,” Harry nods holding up a bottle and checking the label.

“Great. Monica loves that too,” Teresa chuckles as she adds some salt to the mashed potato. 

“And Y/N too,” Harry adds, not even looking up, but he successfully attracts your mom’s attention with his comment.

“She does?” Harry looks up and sees your boiling anger plastered all over your face, so of course he chooses to take it further.

“Oh, yeah. She can drink like a gallon. Wine drunk Y/N is like a whole different person.”

“I told you so many times not to get drunk, Y/N. It’s not too ladylike. When was the last time you saw her drunk?”

“There were plenty of occasions,” Harry exaggerates and you could kill him right there. “Though last time it was the tequila that got her wildin’.”

That damned smirk of his is making your hands curl into fists and for a moment you tell yourself it’s okay to punch him in front of your mother even if she’ll probably disown you for such behavior. 

“Y/N! I have told you a million times that you need to know where your limits lie!” she huffs shaking her head at you while you clench your jaw. Back at it with the lessons about getting drunk. She’ll never get over it, not even when you’ll be forty. Why does it matter to her so much? Sometimes she is the one to get you started, but then she gives you the dirtiest looks when you have one too many. She should just get used to it now. 

“She surely likes to have fun when she has had a few drinks,” Harry continues smugly. “Remember how much fun you had at Rosa and Steven’s wedding?”

“Oh, God! I remember how drunk you were that evening, I could have killed you!” your mother growls and you roll your eyes at her.

“It wasn’t that bad. There were a lot more people who got way more wasted than me,” you try to defend yourself folding your arms on your chest. 

“That doesn’t change that you were too,” she says with a hard look. Great, now she is mad at you for something that happened literally years ago. Kudos to Harry for ruining her mood.

“She wasn’t that bad,” Harry adds and you look in his way with suspicion. “She was a delight when it was time to get her to bed.”

Your mouth almost hangs open, but it seems like you’re the only one understanding what he really meant by that. Luckily, beside you and him, Rosa and Steven are the only people who knows what happened between you and Harry that night, so it’s no surprise no one else catches on the hint.

“You were the one who took her up to her room? Sorry if she was a burden,” your mother sighs and right at that moment you wish the floor would just open up and you could disappear forever. Harry’s satisfied grin is the evidence that he just won another round of this nasty war.

Just as you open your mouth to try and move the conversation to another field you see a pair of headlights pull up to the driveway. Everyone turns to the window as Marcus’ car parks down last in the line. As you step away from the counter you see the confusion in Harry’s eyes about the new guest.

“Oh, amazing! He is here!” your mom cheers, seemingly instantly forgetting about how she was dragging you just a minute ago.

“Who’s here?” you hear Harry ask, but you’re already out of there, heading to the front door to greet Marcus.

Just as you walk out into the cold evening air you see him get out with a warm smile on his lips. You wait for him at the door, arms wrapped around yourself and as he reaches you he places a soft kiss to your lips. 

“Hey, how was the drive?” you ask him.

“It was fine. I didn’t arrive too late, right?”

“No, we were just about to set the table. Come on in, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

He takes your hand in his as the two of you walk inside, all eyes immediately turning your way at the arrival of your boyfriend.

“Everyone, I want you all to meet my boyfriend, Marcus. He is staying for dinner.”

Your family members walk up to the two of you, shaking hands and introducing themselves to Marcus who smiles at everyone politely, trying his best to remember all the names and information that’s thrown at him all of a sudden. Everyone seems delighted to have him for dinner, the kids instantly make him promise he’ll play a card game with them after dinner and he happily says yes to the invitation. 

You can tell your mom is proud that finally both of her daughters are spending Christmas with a man by their side and you’re almost certain your dad took a liking to Marcus the moment he mentioned he is into fishing.

Everyone seems excited and happy for Marcus, there’s just one face that doesn’t fit in the line of joyful smiles. Harry stands quite far from the two of you and only gets closer when he shakes hands with Marcus. His cocky grin is long gone from his face as he keeps his hard look on your boyfriend who is chatting with everyone. Standing next to Marcus, your hand still holding his, your eyes lock with Harry’s and there’s an unknown, burning feeling in your gut when his hard gaze holds yours. The sudden change and cold act gets you wondering what’s really going on in his mind. He is the first one to look away and you watch him walk into the kitchen and disappear from your sight before you force a smile on your lips and turn back to Marcus.

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TAGLIST

let me know if you’d like to be added or taken off!

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[figula]

misery blogness

today was actually better - i didn’t cry at all, had a nice evening w/ ben watching tiktoks + playing geoguessr w/ a friend of ours. we played some music together earlier as well (me on piano, him on bass)

still feeling very obsessive, still ruminating constantly over things ive done in the past and finding it difficult to be present in the moment - but it’s better than it was a few days ago when i couldn’t stop crying or thinking about my own evil nature. now im not so much concerned w/ my naturally evil spirit, just about mistakes ive made (which is an improvement i guess?)

gonna try fluoxetine again for a few months as well bc both ana and ben are saying that i was much less obsessive when on them, and fluoxetine has no negative effects on me really other than a dry mouth, and i think it’s worth trying - particularly as i do think it’s true ive become much more obsessive over the past year or so (altho hard to work out how much of that is stopping meds that i dont personally think do anything good OR bad vs everything else going on in the world lol)

after christmas i wanna get back into making miniatures - haven’t been able to do any lately b/c the things i need to finish this latest one off i asked for for christmas + idk if ben got it for me or not, so gotta wait and see (played myself, wont ask for things i actually need for a gift haha)

today’s good things:

1. i enjoyed spending time w/ ben this evening 2. i wrapped up tink’s present (a hot water bottle) and the little drawing i did really captures her spirit somehow. i wrapped ben’s gift from his family as well, so he can unwrap it properly rather than just opening an amazon parcel 3. the ‘am i a lesbian’ OCD has actually disappeared and i can watch lesbians on tiktok again without feeling frightened (lol...) 4. thankful that i did enough work on the site the past few weeks that im still no. 4 on the list of mods w/ most reports cleared for the month (/60 or so) w/o really doing much work this week 5. im excited that it’s nearly christmas and that ill be able to open presents lol 6. just that it was a more bearable day which makes me hopeful that this isnt, as i’d feared, going to be a long and protracted episode

[qawsslate]

newbies

another nct drabble, short story, one shot, scenario? 

genre: fluff probs

tw: none

pairing: Renjun & reader

a/n: idk bro read at ur own risk, i used google translate for a thing but im hoping it makes sense in the context, feel free to interact :)) 

____

"Renjun-ah it’s fine. You, of all people, know how forgiving she is.”

“Ya! Haechan, don’t say it like that. Renjun-ah it looks really nice she’ll love it.”

Haechan and Jeno were gathered in Renjun and Jisung’s shared bedroom attempting to calm the nerves of the older Dream member. He had just finished a painting he had been working on for the last month in prepation for Valentine’s Day. He knew you weren’t expecting anything as in Korea, the traditional practice was for the girl in the relationship to give the guy chocolates, but neither of you were big on the specifics of things like that. You both shared the sentiment of holidays but were also practical in the ways you gave gifts to each other. Last Christmas, Renjun had given you a new winter coat since the one you’ve been using since your teenager years had begun to literally tear at the seam. You often brushed off his nagging of buying a new coat with protests of the coat still doing its job. 

“Renjun, the coat is fine. I’m still perfectly warm” 

“Y/n, I can see the thread that’s keeping the arm sleeve attached to the rest of it hanging off. I bet if I pull it the whole thing would fall apart. Here let me show you.” 

He reached down and pretended to yank the thread which prompted you to gasp in amused disbelief.

“Ya! Don’t you dare! Did you really pull it off?”

You looked down at your arm trying to assess if in fact the fabric on your body was still a piece of wearable clothing.  

He laughed and just embraced you in a hug.

He had followed up the new winter coat with a flower plushie you had commented that was cute a week ago in a shop, his favorite scented candle so you could be reminded of him when he was away on a schedule, a neck massager because he thought you spent too much time at your desk, an insulated bottle so you would drink more water and not coffee, a polaroid camera for the memories and random Chinese snacks you really liked. He was very practical yet considerate, and it made your heart swell. You almost cried thinking all of it was too much and he had to hold your face in is hands and make you look at him so he could tell you that you were worth it. 

What you didn’t know that he also wanted to gift you with a necklace but second guessed himself too much to the point where he took the small box out of the pile of gifts only minutes before he gave you the heap of presents. Mark was the only member he told about the necklace beforehand but Renjun unfortunately had forgotten to inform his loveable hyung of his inaction, a problem that presented itself the morning after Christmas.

“Y/n! Merry-day-after-Christmas! How was Christmas with Renjunnie? Did you like the necklace?”

You, Mark, and Renjun had been sitting at the Dream dorm kitchen table eating leftovers from the small dinner Jaemin had made at 3am. Thankfully the rest of the boys were still asleep so the damage could still be contained. Renjun choked on the green tea he had been drinking but quickly recoverd.

“Neck massager hyung. The Korean word for neck massager is 목 마사지기. Ahhh, it’s because he’s a foreigner.”

Renjun laughed a little too forcibly and tried to signal to Mark as much as humanly possible without bursting a vein that the necklace gift was aborted. By some Christmas miracle, Mark had somehow picked up on the hint and quickly corrected himself. He even added a white lie to support the neck massager fib, quickly sputtering that he had helped Renjun pick out a neck massager with the recommnedations from his mom, his aunt, his grandmother, and his cousin who was some sort of professional massager. You answered honestly that you had yet to put it to use as you forgot to charge it last night. You weren’t sure if it was the happiness hangover or lack of sleep after Christmas Day that made you think Mark and Renjun were acting strange, but you became distracted from dwelling on their behavior as Haechan and Jisung came into the kitchen. The mood quickly shifted and Renjun felt like he could breathe for the first time in what felt like an hour. You had become preoccupied in helping Jisung follow a recipe on how to make American style pancakes and scolding Haechan for handing the gullible maknae wrong ingredients. After a few minutes Renjun had excused himself to check on Jaemin and Jeno, and Mark announced he had to use the bathroom. Once out of earshot from the mess in the kitchen Mark turned to Renjun,

“You didn’t give it to her?”

“No, hyung, honestly I got too scared. What if she didn’t want it? What if she thinks I’m going too far? What if it’s too serious all of a sudden?”

“Well, don’t you want to be serious with y/n?”

“Of course. More than anything. I just don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Renjunnie,” Mark placed his hands on his shoulders, “you are doing great. Do whatever feels right to you. But if you’re only doubting yourself I think it’s still a good idea to give her the necklace.” 

Renjun still looked conflicted and mindlessly opened the door to Jaemin room then Jeno’s. 

The four proceeded back to the suspiciously quiet kitchen to find Jisung sat at the table and Haechan and you making the rest of the pancakes. When Jaemin asked what happened, Haechan responded,

“We wanted to make sure you guys still had a place to live.”

The necklace matter had been dropped and about a month later all those repressed emotions Renjun had came back. It was two nights before Valentine’s Day and both just wanted a quiet evening. Renjun planned to cook a dinner at your apartment and the whole thing felt innocent until he thought about how you guys hadn’t even been officially together for more than a year. He suddenly felt the pressure, the implications, the underlying tone of something like giving you a piece of jewelry. His plan was to just give you a painting. He had carefully recreated the scene of the park where he first saw you. You had been pushing children on the swings. He had thought you were a babysitter of some sort until you waved to the kids goodbye and saw the nearby adults scoop them in their arms and walk away. Then he saw you swinging by yourself. He never revealed this to you during your first official encounter as he didn’t think it would be smooth to open up with, “I’ve been watching you swing by yourself at the children’s park.” He also hadn’t been initially sure if you were the same girl he had wistfully observed, but you had once planned a park date at your favorite spot.

“It’s actually quite near your dorm, we could walk there if you’re up to it? Sometimes I play with the kids. It’s gotten to the point where some of the mothers have recognized me.”

Renjun immediately knew you had been that girl he had observed in what felt like a lifetime ago. He knew that one day he would really have to treat Chenle to a meal for introducing you both. Renjun also knew if he had admitted this to Chenle now he would never let it go and it would somehow inflate the size of that kid’s head even more, but he added it to the list of things he loved about his younger member. 

Renjun had carefully recreated the details from his memories of those days, paying particular attention to that coat you refused to give up on and he had just finished the painting when Haechan decided to burst into his room.

“Renjunnie! Have you ate? Let’s eat.” 

Renjun had been so absorbed with his doubts that the sudden interruption almost made him fall off his chair. Renjun almost gets as easily startled as Jisung, but the magnitude of his reaction made Haechan take a step back and immediately set off his signature mischief.

“Ya, is the innocent and pure boy doing something naughty? You know you should really lock your doors Renjun-ah”

Renjun scrammbled to find something to cover the painting. His tidy desk space provided no aid and his next move was to flip the whole thing over deciding to deal with the consquences of the still wet paint later, but Haechan moved quickly and pulled Renjun’s arms up away from the canvas.

“Ya, what’s this?”

“Nothing. Heachan, please.”

Renjun sighed. He had no problem in any other situation to fight the boy who always tested his limits, but with the awkward sitting position he was in, Renjun knew that there was no logistically sound way to physically fight Haechan at the moment. 

“Oh, it’s just another painting. Why were you so freaked out- YA! Is that y/n?!”

Haechan dropped Renjun’s arms, his first mistake, as Renjun took the opportunity to lunge towards the painting. Haechan proceeded to yank the back of the wooden chair -- his second mistake -- and he called out for reinforcements.

“JENO-AH!”

Jeno was not surprised that the bickering quickly took place, but was also concerned with the intensity of Haechan’s scream. Jeno regretfully entered the space of what would ultimately disrupt the otherwise peaceful morning and listened to the chorus of Renjun’s mild curses and death threats and Haechan’s shameless happy teasing although he was the one in the headlock.

“Ya, you two. Can we just go eat?”

“Jeno-ah, grab that. QUICKLY.”

Curiosity took over and Jeno obeyed. Renjun knew that although Jeno lacked in the desire of fighting members, he made up for with his physcial strengh. Renjun was quite aware that Jeno could quite literally pick him and Haechan up to stop the sqaubble. Renjun gave a frustrated sigh of defeat and sat back down at his desk while Jeno and Haechan sat on the nearby bed to fully observe the art piece.

“Is this y/n? It’s really good.”

“Our Renjunnie is growing up so fast. It’s cute to see you in love.”

The casualness of Haechan’s sentiment in dropping the L word set off alarms in Renjun’s brain but curiously not his heart. He quickly pushed off whatever deer in headlights reaction he showed and calmy took the painting back from Jeno. He decided to just tell the two that it was for Valentine’s Day and mumbled that he wasn’t sure if you were gonna like it. 

"Renjun-ah it’s fine. You, of all people, know how forgiving she is.”

“Ya! Haechan, don’t say it like that. Renjun-ah it looks really nice she’ll love it.”

Haechan sensed it was the right time to get serious. 

“Renjun-ah. Honestly. It’s a really good painting. She’ll love it. That girl loves everything you do.”

Jeno hummed in agreement.

“Injunnie, it will be okayyy.”

Jeno’s speciality in dorm-only aegyo gave Renjun comfort. It almost brought back a sense of normalcy in Renjun’s emotions. He was also grateful to Haechan although no matter how much the boy made it a sport to annoy him, he could still be mature when it counted. He thanked God that the necklace had been safely hidden in a drawer and considered the many ways the situation could have escalated if the two boys saw that the painting gift was not the main source of his anxiety.

Renjun thought it would be best to change the subject from his insecurities about his love life. Love, he thought, there was that word again. 

---------------

hi i have a tendency to not end my fics well, lemme know what yall think

[kiegosbby]

hawks x f!reader

chapter 8 I think. I’m sorry guys itll get better I promiseeee

word count: 1.6k

warnings: drinking, and just making poor decisions

✁- - - - - - r- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

when you finished your work you left quickly trying to avoid talking to him any further.

You stopped at a liquor store. This wasn't your best idea. But In the moment, you needed it badly.

you never really drank before, not knowing what to buy so you bought vodka. People drink that straight right?

she bought her bottle and put it in a paper bag, having to keep her hero appearance.

she flew home and sat down on her couch. She popped the cap off and chugged it. It burned as it went down. She thought it would be worse it tasted like medicine. Kind of.

She looked across the room and saw her phone. She was now slightly tipsy, she stood up and walked over to her phone. Picking it up it was slightly cracked but it still worked. You turned it on and while you waited, chugged some more because why the hell not?

as your phone turned on you saw all the messages hawks had left you.

10+ plus new messages from: Birdy ❤️🐔

"Tch.."

Birdy ❤️🐔

Hey baby bird I'm sorry about last night I probably seem like a dick.

Birdy ❤️🐔

I had to help endeavour on a case and I couldn't say no. Please let me make it up to you

Birdy ❤️🐔

I still owe you ice cream even if you don't wanna go out anymore

Birdy ❤️🐔

Don't forget that you have to come to my agency tomorrow and fill out some paperwork and set your office up

Birdy ❤️🐔

Angel where are you? Your 10 minutes late

Birdy ❤️🐔

Angel I'm starting to worry it's been a hour. Please just let me know that your ok

Birdy ❤️🐔

Y/n please text me. Im worried and I swear if anything happened to you I'll kill someone

Birdy ❤️🐔

Don't make me go to your apartment. I will don't test me.

Birdy ❤️🐔

angel please reply

Birdy ❤️🐔

Angel? Please..

Birdy ❤️🐔

I'm about to go to your apartment. I don't know which numbers yours but I'll go through the whole building if I have to.

well now you felt like a bitch.

It was still mean for him to do that to her. But maybe she should forgive him. he apologized and he seemed like he actually cared.

You decided to call him and talk to him. Maybe apologize? Ask him what his favourite drink is. Alcohol is good you should do this more often.

you pressed the call button and took a big swig of your drink getting ready to talk.

"Angel hello?"

"Hey hawks" you slurred your words slightly. "I wanted to call you because it's so difficult to type! The buttons are so little and I keep messing up. Now I know what your thinking, she's drunk right? Well no actually I'm just a little tipsy. Oh! I forgot to say what I was calling about. I wanted to apologize, I was being a total bitch don't you think?" You took a quick swig and went back to talking "but you were kinda mean to me. But I liked you! I even bought a fucking dress for you. And I don't do dresses. Believe that? I got all dressed up for you. And you never showed. But hero duties are more important than anything" you took another swig "damn this shit is strong!"

He sat there trying to take in everything she had just said. To be fair it was a lot to handle. " Y/n your drunk why are you drinking?"

"Because why the hell not?" She said and laughed

"You want to apologize I want to apologize to face to face."

"Come over them Birdy I need some company I can't finish this big bottle all by myself." At this point you really couldn't think straight. This was 100% a bad idea but did you care? Absolutely not.

"Y/n your drunk we should talk tomo-"

"No come over nowwww pleaseeeeeeee" you whined

he sighed "Ok leave the balcony open I'll land there."

"Yay! I'll be waiting for you im so excited!"

You quickly hung up and went to wait for him on the balcony. You sat with your legs crossed and kept drinking. You got up and looked over the ledge. Damn that was a farrr drop. You stumbled a little leaning a little to far, and almost fell until you felt a warm pair of hands wrap around your waist. "Are you fucking crazy kid? Do you have a death wish?"

You started laughing "oh my god I almost fell good thing I have wings. You saved me! Your like my knight in shining armor" you smiled and went to take another swig only to have him take it away from you.

He looked at the bottle. "You drank almost half of this already! Are you crazy? Oh my god come on" he lead you inside trying to figure the layout of your house. He went into your kitchen and got you a water bottle from your fridge.

"Here drink this your gonna need it. Let's go sit down ok?" He lead you to the couch, you almost fell a couple times but with his help you made it.

"Hawksssss"

"Yes angel" he looked over to you, you were both now sitting on the couch, and he was trying to make sure you did nothing stupid.

"Thank you for coming I was sooo lonely. And I'm sorry for this morning I was being a big poopy head" you said and at the end you stuck your bottom lip out and gave him puppy eyes.

"It's no problem angel. I would always help a friend in need more matter what. And you don't have to apologize it was mostly my fault I was being a dumb bird and messed it up." He said looking at you with guilt. You felt bad honestly. But what stuck the most was when he said he would always help a friend..

"I wish we were more then friends I really liek you.." you slurred and went on "your really cute to. And your wings are so pretty I just wanna touch them. Can I touch them?" You asked already reaching out to them

"Of course baby bird just be careful you have wings to so you'll know how it feels." He pulled his wings further out so that you could reach them easily. He was a little scared only a few other people had touched his wings. And they had never been drunk before. His wings were quite sensitive, he was touch starved and that made it feel amazing when someone touched his wings.

You leaned in and touched the middle of his wings first, slowly running your hand over them. You face lit up like a kid opening his presents on Christmas. You raked your hands through his feathers.

"Your feathers are so soft! How do you get them so soft!?" You asked excitedly. Your feathers weren't as soft as his, they'd been through a lot and due to some harsh training were trying to recover still.

"There just n-naturally soft I guess are yours not t-this soft?" He asked as he was trying to keep back his groans. Your fingers felt so good rubbing against his feathers.

"They were but after bad training there not as soft anymore. Want to feel?" She asked excitedly, taking her hands away. He tried to hide his disappointment, and shook his head yes.

she pulled her wings out, giving off a soft glow as her quirk made her. He reached out to his hands. He softly touched the tip of her wings. She sat back and relaxed feeling calm at the touches he was giving her. It was way better then the little kids that tugged on her wings when she had them out.

"What kind of training did this? There still soft just seem like they've been through a lot.."

"Well it was a really rainy day. And they were working me so hard. We were in a empty field and I was paired with one of the higher ranks, so I had to try my hardest. They thought I was weak so they pushed me a little to far, until my wings were covered with mud and all the nasty shit on the ground."

He had a apologetic look on his face as he continued to stroke your wings. "Who's they?"

"I-oh I don't really tell many people but when my parents had found out I had wings, they had to report it to the government, who wanted to put me in intense training from when I was just 4. I knew how to kill someone before I knew how to write my own name correctly. I've heard you went through the same if I'm correct?" Y/n was almost surprisingly sober now.

"Yeah it's not something I like to talk about. I'm sorry they put you through that. Me and you are more alike then we seem arnt we?" He asked while taking his hand away from your wings.

you internally sighed in disappointment when he took his hand away. "I guess we might be. C-can we watch a movie or something?" She asked hoping he would stay just a little longer.

"Only if I can still take you to get ice cream soon?" He asked testing the waters to see if she was still mad.

"Of course you bird brain." She grabbed the remote and turned on  {favourite movie}.

"Oh I love this movie!" He said with excitement as he got comfortable next to you.

You smiled looking at him. You were no longer mad but thought if this went on would that happen again? Would he handle it differently? As the thoughts were running through your mind, you felt the heaviness of sleep washing over you. You closed your eyes and let it involve you.

Hawks POV

I turned to check on y/n, and as I turned she was just falling asleep. Her head slowly made its way into my shoulder. I blushed slightly. Y/n was beautiful. Even with her hair a mess she was still pretty to him.

As he was admiring her, she moved in her sleep, grabbing his arm and hugging it as she slept.

'God she's perfect'

[softboyscully]

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is  john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability 

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating. 

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”  

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

[winchester-fantasies]

What We Want

Summary: After a night of drinking, you find yourself divulging secrets you’ve never told anyone else, leading Dean to take matters into his own hands.

Word Count: 3415

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, fluff, swearing

Pairing: Dean x Plus Size!Reader

A/N: This was written for a request by @rainbowunicorns92 : Hey babe! I hope you had a very merry Christmas and a wonderful new year! I’m so excited for you to come back that I couldn’t hold on to my request any more haha! But I was wondering if you are okay writing a dean x plus size reader where she is super awkward and shy, and at a the bunker one night they get super toasty drunk and he gets her to open up about her desires and it’s to have very hot steamy sex, and they do it? Hot smut? I’m so sorry being weird writing this stuff Im a lot! 💜💜💜 Thanks for your request! I’m so happy to be back and I hope you like it!! ❤❤

Winchester Fantasies’ Masterlist

“No, Dean, I already told you,” you said emphatically, crossing your arms. 

“C’mon, sweetheart,” Dean implored. “Just one drink.” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, his green eyes attempting the puppy dog look his younger brother had perfected.

You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to keep the goofy grin threatening to spread across your lips. Even now you couldn’t help but think he was the handsomest man alive. “Fine,” you huffed in defeat. “But only one!”

Dean's eyes lit up and a wide grin spread across his face. “Awesome! Been saving a bottle of Blanton’s,” he said, leading the way into the kitchen. 

“Too bad Sammy decided to ditch us then, I guess,” you chuckled.

“And for some museum thing,” Dean scoffed, taking a couple of glasses from the shelf. He reached into the cupboard, taking out a bottle of the amber liquid. “I mean who does that?” he asked incredulously.

“Sam, apparently, ” you said, perching on one of the chairs as Dean popped open the lid and poured a bit into each glass.

“Yeah,” Dean huffed. “Well, just means more of the good stuff for us,” he said, lightly shaking each glass as he walked over to where you sat.

He handed you one of them before taking a seat in the chair across from you. You looked at the bourbon sitting in the bottom of your glass almost suspiciously. 

Dean chuckled and you looked up to find him staring at you, a smirk on his lips. “You okay, sweetheart?” he asked, taking a sip of his alcohol.

“Yeah,” you said, glancing back to your glass. “I just…. Well, I...I’ve never had anything stronger than a beer,” you admitted, a blush rising to your cheeks.

“What!” Dean exclaimed, nearly spewing his drink. “You’re kidding, right?”

You shook your head. “It’s true,” you said. “I guess I’m not...adventurous when it comes to alcohol,” you added sheepishly.

“You’ll like this,” he reassured. “Smooth, with a hint of vanilla.”

You cocked an eyebrow at him before looking down at your drink once more. You cautiously lifted the glass to your mouth, tipping it back till the liquid met your lips. You took a hesitant sip; it stung your throat and made your eyes water as it slid down your throat, your stomach burning as it settled. A coughing fit followed your swallow, Dean chuckling at your reaction. “Holy shit!” you wheezed, finally catching your breath.

“Strong enough for ya?” Dean chuckled, taking another sip of his.

You gave him a thin-lipped smile. “A little too strong,” you said, but nevertheless you took another, more careful sip, this one not as intense.

“So,” Dean said, leaning back in his chair and propping his feet up on the table. “How’s, uh, what’s-his-name?”

“Greg?” you asked.

“Yeah, that’s it. Greg,” Dean said. “Haven’t seen him around in awhile.”

“Well…” you said, watching the bourbon swish around the tumbler as you shifted it absentmindedly in your hand. “We actually broke up,” you said, meeting his gaze.

Dean frowned. “What?” he asked incredulously. “When?”

“About a month ago,” you admitted, your lips forming into a tight-lipped smirk.

“And you didn’t tell me?” Dean asked, sounding almost wounded.

“I...I,” you stuttered, taken aback by Dean’s intense line of questioning. “You and Sam were busy with this whole Lucifer thing, and I...I didn’t want to bother you.” You looked back to your lap, feeling embarrassed and like you’d divulged something you shouldn’t have.

“(Y/N),” Dean said, his voice soft. You looked back up just as Dean sat up, placing his feet on the concrete floor of the kitchen, and leaned forward. He took your hand in his, the warmth of his fingers sending shivers of delight shooting up your arm and through your body. “You could never bother me, sweetheart,” he said, his eyes soulful and reassuring. 

You swallowed hard and nodded, holding back the tears that threatened to spill. Dean withdrew his hand from yours, causing you to ache for his touch once more. But you just sat there, watching as he got comfortable once again. You wanted to make a move, you really did. Maybe if you weren’t so damn shy. Anger coursed through you and without really thinking, you grabbed the bottle of bourbon and took two big gulps. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Dean said, reaching for the bottle and taking it from your hand. “Slow down there, sweetheart,” he said, with an almost tentative chuckle. “You haven’t even finished what’s in your glass.” 

You glanced to your tumbler on the table, still half full. Heat rose to your cheeks, but whether from embarrassment or the hard liquor you’d just chugged, you didn’t know. “Sorry,” you said sheepishly. “I just….” You shrugged, leaving the sentence unfinished. 

“Hey, I get,” Dean said. “Breakups are rough. But you can’t just drown yourself in alcohol and hope it’ll all go away.” Dean paused for a moment then huffed our a harsh chuckle. “Not that I’m one to talk. But you get what I’m saying.”

“Yeah,” you said with a nod and small smile. Truth was, you hadn’t taken those gulps to forget Greg. You’d taken them to forget how much you liked Dean and to tamp down any hope at ever being with him. You already knew what kind of girls he liked. You found yourself sucking in your stomach and subconsciously rubbing your hands up and down your ample thighs. You weren’t anything like those girls.

“You wanna talk about it?” Dean asked softly.

You were jerked out of your thoughts at the sound of his voice, and when you looked at him, you realized with chagrin, that you’d completely zoned out. 

“Oh, uh, no, that’s okay,” you chuckled nervously, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. You picked up your glass and took another, larger sip. Your mind was starting to get a little fuzzy and you knew you had the start of a buzz going on.

“You know you can tell me anything,” Dean said, his eyes searching your face. He seemed completely unaffected by the bourbon. How could he hold his alcohol so well? Maybe it had to do with the fact you’d already ingested nearly half the bottle on your own and he hadn’t. 

“Yeah, I know,” you said. “It’s just…” you continued, your words slurring slightly at the end. “I never really felt like I could be myself.”

“How so?” Dean asked, throwing back the last of his bourbon before reaching for the bottle and pouring himself another glass, this time nearly halfway full.

“I don’t know,” you said vaguely. “Just...well, in a lot of different areas.”

“What kinds of areas?” Dean asked.

You were about to answer but stopped, your eyes narrowing. “What’s with the game of 20 Questions?” you asked suspiciously.

“Nothing,” Dean chuckled. “Just trying to help a friend get over her breakup.” He took another sip - a gulp really - a smirk on his face.

“I am over it,” you said, fiddling with your glass. 

“Uh-huh,” Dean commented, disbelieving. “Then why are downing this like it’s water?” he asked, gesturing to the bottle.

“It’s just…there’s more than one reason, okay?” you said, feeling vulnerable and not wanting to divulge just how you were feeling about him.

Dean held up his hands. “Hey, easy. I get it, sweetheart,” he said gently. “I won’t press you.”

He went back to drinking and you to staring at the table, an awkward silence falling between the two of you. You glanced up at him, finding him looking at anything but you. Finally you sighed.

“To answer your question,” you said, Dean’s head jerking up to meet your gaze. “Like I said, there were a lot of different areas. I just never felt like I could really tell him what I wanted...what I needed.” You looked to the ground for a moment, your cheeks reddening again. You couldn’t believe what you were about to tell him. Maybe it had to do with the liquid courage coursing through your veins. “Es...especially in...in the, uh, in the bedroom,” you said, your voice tiny.

Dean remained silent and you found yourself berating yourself at how stupid you’d been. Of course Dean didn’t want to hear about your sex life or your sexual frustrations. He was just trying to help you through your breakup. And you’d just overstepped your bounds - big time.

Your cheeks grew redder as you downed the last of your bourbon. “Maybe if I wasn’t so damn shy,” you chuckled awkwardly, trying to make light of the situation. “But enough about all that…” you said, but you were suddenly cut off by Dean who sat forward.

You chanced a glance up into his face, his eyes once again searching yours. “What do you want?” he asked, his voice no more than a whisper. “What you were too afraid to tell Greg…. What was it?”

You swallowed hard, your stomach doing somersaults as you stared at each other. “It...it,” you stuttered. “I...I wanted to have, um, to have hot and...steamy sex,” you said, rushing the last of your words and burying your face in your hands. “I know how stupid it sounds,” you said, shame lacing your words. 

“Hey,” Dean said, scooting back from the table. His hand came to rest on your hand gently. “(Y/N), look at me,” he said, his gruff voice gentle. He pulled your hands away from your face, you finding him crouched down in front of you. “It’s not stupid,” he said.

“Yes, it is,” you said. “You know what? Just...just forget I even said anything. It’s really not a big deal,” you added with a chuckle, getting up from your chair.

You were about to head out the kitchen entrance when Dean grabbed your wrist, spinning you around and pinning you firmly against the wall. 

“It’s not stupid,” he repeated. “In fact, it’s really fucking hot.” 

“R...really?” you asked, your eyes widening in surprise.

“Yeah,” Dean growled. You stared into his normally moss-colored eyes, now wide and blown with lust. Heat emanated off his body and that’s when you realized just how close he was to you. His chest was pressed to yours, his hands on either side of the wall, keeping you from going anywhere else.

“De...Dean. I...I think maybe…” you started but Dean cut you off.

“Hush,” he said. You swallowed hard as his eyes darted to your mouth, a smirk crossing his lips. He leaned down, his mouth mere inches from your own. “Let me take care of you. Give you everything you want…. Everything you deserve....”

Your breath caught in your throat and you couldn’t help but shudder as arousal settled in your core. “Dean…” you breathed.

That was all it took before Dean gripped your face in his hands and kissed you forcefully. You wrapped your arms around his waist, drawing him closer into you as his fingers weaved into your hair. He nipped at your lower lip and you opened up for him, his tongue finding your own.

You moaned as Dean fisted your hair in his large palm, jerking your head back gently and nipping along your jaw and leaving open-mouthed kisses down your neck and along your collarbone. 

Your hands made their way under his shirt, your fingers ghosting along the soft skin of his hips and up over the muscles of his back. “Dean,” you said again, your chest already heaving as your heart beat erratically. 

“Tell me what you want, baby,” Dean panted, burying his face into the side of your neck and sucking a mark into the sensitive skin.

You shivered at the sensation, your fingers digging into the grooves of his shoulder blades. “You,” you said breathily. “I want you, Dean.”

That was all it took for Dean to spin you around and hoist you up, placing you on the edge of the kitchen table, positioning himself between your thighs. He kissed you passionately, his hands sliding under your shirt, and caressing the soft rolls of your stomach. “Oh, god...Dean,” you moaned, your hands wrapping around his neck as his lips once again found precedence on your neck.

“Fuck, baby,” Dean growled, his hands moving higher, sliding under your bra and kneading the soft flesh of your breasts. “You don’t know how fucking hard you make me,” he groaned. He moved himself further into the apex of your thighs. “Feel that, baby?” he asked, grinding himself against your heated core, his erection prominent. “That’s all for you.”

“Dean...please,” you moaned, rocking your hips along with his, a throaty groan escaping his own throat. 

“I got you, baby. I got you,” he said. He removed his hands from under your shirt, moving them down to the globes of your ass and pulling you almost off the table. He continued to rub himself against you, harder this time. “Feels so good,” he grunted. 

The seam of your jeans pressed into your clit as he shifted just right and you gasped, your hands clutching at his shoulders. “Dean,” you panted. “R...right there...right there.”

“C’mon, sweetheart,” Dean murmured in your ear, his breath hot against your skin. “Give it to me.”

And you did. You came hard, your hearing muffled as your walls clenched around nothing, your legs locking around his hips as he continued to rut against you. “Aaa, (Y/N),” he said with a stuttering moan as he came, the front of his jeans darkened with cum.

You were both panting as you came down from your highs, hearts beating wildly. “That...that,” you said, your mind racing to describe what you were feeling past the blood rushing to your head.

“Fucking amazing,” Dean finished with a smirk. “And so fucking hot. Could watch you come undone all fucking day.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his words, your laughter quickly turning into a moan as he captured your lips again, his hands resting on your hips. You jerked forward as one of them moved lower, fingers slipping past the waistband of your jeans and into your panties. 

“Wh...what are you doing?” you asked, arousal already starting to build again.

“You really thought I was done with you?” Dean asked, an amused grin on his face. “Baby, I’m only getting started.”

Your stomach clenched at his words and you couldn’t help but whimper as his fingers found your swollen and sensitive clit. You spread your thighs further as his hand slid lower, his middle finger slipping into your sopping hole.

“Holy shit, sweetheart,” Dean breathed. “You’re so fucking wet.” He pumped his finger in and out of you rhythmically, squelching sounds filling the air.

“Dean,” you implored, needing...wanting more. 

“I know, baby, I know,” he said. “Just a few more minutes. I wanna taste you first.”

You nearly came again at his implications. He withdrew his finger from you carefully before reaching for the button on your jeans. You hopped off the table as he helped you undress, his clothes coming off shortly after and joining the pile by the kitchen entrance. 

“Sit,” he commanded, jerking his head towards the chair you had vacated earlier. You hurried over, slick running down the insides of your thighs. You sat on the edge, the wood cold against your ass and backs of your legs.

Anticipation coursed through your veins as Dean slowly stalked towards you, his bare and sweaty skin glistening in the light. “Spread your thighs,” Dean instructed. “Let me see that pretty, little pussy.”

You immediately did as asked, spreading your legs, the cold air hitting your heated skin. “Mmm,” Dean hummed, his eyes glued to your wet folds. He dropped to his knees in front of you, his hands resting on your own knees. He looked up at you, his eyes dark with desire before he stooped down, his lips making contact with your clit.

You grunted and shot back in your chair as pleasure washed over you. Before you could even register what was happening, his tongue was rolling over the swollen bud. Your hands found his head, your fingers weaving into his hair and gripping tight as he continued to lap at your juices.

“Dean…. Oh, god, Dean,” you cried out as he switched up his tactics, his mouth latching onto your clit. 

He paused for just a moment to raise his head, his mouth and chin dripping with slick. “You taste so fucking good,” he praised. “So sweet.”

Your hand ran across his sweaty brow before he dipped back down, attacking your tender pussy once more. It wasn’t long before you felt your lower abdomen tightening and the pressure of your next orgasm approaching. 

Dean must have sensed it, too, because he abruptly thrust his finger into your core, crooking his fingertip into your sweet spot while his tongue licked furiously against your nearly oversensitive bundle of nerves. 

You came with a cry of his name on your lips, your muscles contracting as your walls fluttered with aftershocks. “Wow,” you breathed. “Just...just wow.” Dean smirked as he rose up to kiss you, the taste of your juices still on his tongue.

“My turn,” you said, reaching down to grasp his erection in your hand.

Dean jerked forward at your touch, a groan emanating from his chest. “N...not this time, baby,” Dean said, his voice strained. “I’m not gonna last.”

“Next time then?” you asked hopefully.

“Next time,” Dean reassured with a wink. “But right now, I wanna be inside you,” he said lowly.

You bit your lip at his words as he helped you scoot off the chair and onto the floor below. He laid you down gently before settling between your thighs, his erection nudging your folds. “You okay?” he asked, his eyes filled with concern.

“More than okay,” you whispered, leaning up to kiss him.

He smiled before pushing himself in. You gasped at the sensation, your pussy taking him completely and without resistance. “Holy hell,” Dean choked out. “Y...you’re so tight, babygirl.”

“Dean, please,” you begged, raising your legs and wrapping them around his waist. 

Dean took your hint, pulling almost all the way out before plunging back in, setting a brutally fast pace. He wrapped his arms around you, burying his face into your neck.

You held onto his shoulders tightly, anchoring his body to yours as he thrust into you, almost desperately. The sounds of skin on skin and the wetness of your pussy filled the room, adding to the passion hanging thick in the air. 

You felt him twitch inside of you as your walls began to flutter around him and you knew he was close. “Baby,” Dean grunted. “I...I wanted to last longer, but...I...I don’t think….”

“It’s okay, Dean,” you said. “I’m not either.”

Dean rocked into you three more times, his thrusts becoming sloppy before he came with a low groan of your name, his cum painting your walls. He continued to move, determined to make you cum a third time. And just like that you did, your walls clamping down so hard Dean grunted. 

You laid on the floor, chests heaving, sweat dripping onto the cold concrete below as you tried to catch your breaths and come back down to reality. Finally, Dean slid out of you gingerly before picking you up and carrying you to his bedroom. He laid you on the bed before exiting the room and coming back with a damp washcloth.

He carefully cleaned you up before tossing the cloth into the corner and joining you, pulling the covers over your exhausted bodies. You snuggled into his side, his arm coming around you. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for so damn long time,” Dean suddenly spoke, breaking the silence that had fallen.

“Really?” you asked, looking up at him.

“Yeah,” Dean said, almost bashfully. “I just...well, I never thought you’d go for a guy like me. And then Greg came along….”

“Dean,” you said, your mind reeling with unbelief. “I’ve wanted you since the day we met.”

It was Dean’s turn to look shocked, his green eyes searching your face for any signs of mockery. Finding none, his face broke out into a wide grin as his arm tightened around you.

“Looks like we both get what we want,” he said, leaning down to press his lips to yours.

“Yeah,” you said contentedly. “Looks like it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! If you liked what you read, let me know!! ❤❤

***Please do not share my content on any other platform without my consent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags:

Everything:

@divadinag​ @mogaruke​ @calaofnoldor​ @defenderrosetyler​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @emoryhemsworth​ @satans-0-spawn​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @titty-teetee​ @gallifreyansass​ @swiftrogerswinchesterthot​

Dean Girls:

@weepingwillowphoenix​ @akshi8278​

[halfgclden]

and uhhhhhhhhh jime for ship meme?

jesse and ime? u got it! 😘

ARENDAIN

Who is more aggressive in bed? - don’t let ime’s bde fool you they are a whiney bottom

Lights on or off? - off because it’s weird if ime can see and jacob can’t

Who does what chores? - they both are tidy people who clean up after themselves so they don’t really have to delegate certain chores to each other

Who gets babied when they’re sick? - neither of them want to be babied when they’re sick tbh but they’d be considerate to each other and offer to get medicine or blankets, keep their voices down, etc

Who makes breakfast? - um jacob 😌

Where would they go on their honeymoon? - i’m changing this to vacation and uhh ime would Want to take him to Portugal but they’d probably go somewhere where jacob can speak the language so that he can be autonomous so idk? somewhere they’d research and find things for them both to do

What are their quirks while sleeping? - ime presses their hands and feet into jacob to sap all his body heat but he just produces it tenfold bc son of apollo

What is their favorite activity as a couple? - strip chess 🤡😘 but also regular chess ig 🙄

Who is the stricter parent? - they would not be parents ty

Who would be the big spoon? - jacob 😌

Who would wake up first? - ime because jacob went to bed at four in the morning

Do they have nicknames for each other? - yakey 🥰🥰🥰 and *long sigh* ime,

What happened when they met each other’s parents? - ime is a very lucky duck but i can’t tell what jacob’s foster mother would think of them and it might be the first time they couldn’t either agahjdk and kennedy is prickly but she would,,, begrudgingly grow on ime. their father would like jacob, for some reason i feel like the first time they met ime’s father Embarrassed himself wildly in front of him and so maybe it’s a lil awkward but that’s fine

How do they apologize after an argument? - i feel like for them to Actually have an argument it would have to be something idk not serious but at least personal? so the apology would probably come after time left simmering and then thinking over their own words, and they would have to acknowledge both their own and the other’s hurt so IDK intense i gUess, and it wouldn’t just be a “sorry” but also “what i did/said will not be repeated”

What would they be like as parents? - see above, ty!

Who is the better cook? - ooo they’re both decent, ime’s been living alone for a long time so maybe them?

Who is more romantic? - yes ime and jacob,,, well known for being romantic,, i think it would be less romance and more of a Caring for each other through little things? i saw you were running low on your favourite tea so i restocked it / i’ve noticed how tired you’ve been lately let me run you a bath / you’re using the tone you normally do when you have cramps i’m going to fill a hot water bottle rn. idk it’s not romance it’s just the oh wow i feel Known when did this happen and i didn’t answer the question lol this would happen w both of them but with jacob first bc he’s more intuitive and also it’s a question of “”romance”” so i’m giving it to the libra

What sort of gifts do they get for each other? - ime says jacob i Swear to the Lord Almighty Stop buying yourself gifts Right Before birthdays and holidays because it drives me nuts and i’m either going to get you a repeat or nothing :| but also i think mostly music, so albums that artists that they like have released recently, and if jacob didn’t already have a record player ime would get him one at some point. they also once got him candy underwear but put it inside a small box which was inside three larger boxes and he laughed so hard he almost cried

Who gets jealous easiest? - mmm maybe ime? but jacob does have that scorpio in him so 😗 i can def see him being like “i do not like this” at something and being,,, offended? if ime was Actually flirting w someone in front of him

Who gets more excited for events? (e.g. birthdays, christmas…etc) - ime by virtue of knowing their birth date and being religious i guess lmao which is why they’re like do NOT buy yourself something i might get u it might not mean anything to you but it does to me

Who is the most adventurous? - ime c:

Who is the most protective? - oh um,,, idk do either of them need to be? i would like to see it dot gif

What would they have been like as childhood sweethearts? - oh my gOd they would Not shut up in class can u imagine they would be Insufferable ALSO so intimidating can u imagine them as a couple while you were an insecure teen? i’d drop dead,,, they’re too hot but also u can’t tell if they’re making fun of you with the way they talk i’d pass out

Song to sum them up? - Can’t Sleep Love - Pantatonix

[artificialqueens]

Everything And More, 1/3 (Blu/Cheryl) - Juno

Summary: Blu and Cheryl discover they are soulmates … at the worst time possible. Does distance really make the heart grow fonder?

(A/N: This is a prequel to another fic I wrote which is on AO3, but can be read on its own too. Just wanted to do something with some DRUK girls, and there will be more to come! No CWs for this chapter. Hope you enjoy this so far.)

“Surprise, surprise!”

Cheryl had only had to open the door to the oddly quiet living room to instantly jump out of her skin the sight and sound of all her friends, the synchronised bangs of party poppers, streams of colours through the air. Something shattered in the kitchen through the open door at the back of the living room (most likely the walking hazard that was Kendall knocking a mug over), but shrieks and cheers covered up most of the noise.

She instantly turned backwards to meet Vivienne’s smug smile, as she stood behind her, and hit her with the paper KFC bag that was in her left hand.

“I knew you were doing this!” Cheryl cried, although really she would never have guessed.

“Give over, Chez, you had no idea. You thought we were just going for nuggets. Anyway, d’you like it?” Viv’s grin was a little forced.

“I love it! Babe, thank you so much!” Cheryl tugged Vivienne down the six inch difference in height to hug her round the neck.

A gentle ahem from inside the front room interrupted them, and Cheryl turned to Divina, standing waiting her turn.

“Divina did the decorations,” Viv muttered, but she needn’t have said; it was obvious by their precise locations and mix of pastels (but no other bright colours) that it was Divina’s hand leading all of this set up. Cheryl just dragged Divina towards them both, happy they’d put their mutual dislike aside even if it just for this.

“You didn’t think we’d let you go off to America without one last party, did you?” Divina exclaimed.

“Guys! You really shouldn’t have! Oh, I’m gonna cry!” Cheryl finally put down the KFC bag, nuggets spilling on the floor, to wipe her eyes.

Divina seized her by the cheeks. “Less of that, Cheryl, no tears today, okay? Come in and we’ll get the party going.” Divina steered Cheryl into the living room out of Vivienne’s arms, and Baga grinned as she handed her a mug.

But Cheryl knew better than to drink it right off the bat.

“What’s this, Bags?”

“Just coke,” Baga shrugged.

“Coke and what?”

“Coke and a mug.”

“Coke and what, Baga?”

But Baga just grinned. “Drink it and find out!”

Cheryl put the mug to her lips and … Oh, yes, coke and some fucking paint thinner, she realised. This was going to be an interesting afternoon. Just Baga feeding them all more and more alcohol from her mum’s special cupboard and topping it all up with water or apple juice or whatever hair-brained scheme Baga seemed to have thought up next.

Speaking of her mum …

“Viv,” Cheryl realised, turning to her, “does my mum know you’re all here?”

Vivienne blinked and looked at the painting on the wall.

“Viv! Tell me!”

“What are we playing first, girls?” Baga ignored Cheryl, steering her to the dining table which was large enough for six, and littered with bottles and cans. “Make space! Cards? Anyone brought cards?”

“Baga, no way, I told you I’m not playing Ring Of Fire again.” Kat folded her arms, glaring at her.

“Shut up, Kat. Who wants Ring Of Fire?”

“I’ve got a deck of cards!” Vivienne declared, producing one from her bra.

“No way am I playing with those.” This time it was Divina’s turn to put her foot down. “Not when they’ve spent all morning in Vivienne’s tits. I might catch something.”

“Only thing you’ll catch is some class, girl.” Vivienne replied smoothly.

“Class? From you? I don’t think.”

“Okay, okay!” Baga huffed. “Jesus Christ, you lot. Someone else suggest something then. Chez, get that down your neck.”

Cheryl focused on drinking while the others argued about the game. Viv and Divina kept shooting barbs at each other, with Vinegar egging them on and Sum waving her hands in the air trying to calm both of them down. Baga’s face grew redder and redder as she fought not to shout at them, while Crystal, Kat and Kendall went to the back door to vape.

Wait.

“Is Blu not coming?” Cheryl asked in the kitchen, but the argument was reaching a crescendo. She drained the mug and went outside to the back garden. Crystal was blowing smoke rings, while Kat and Kendall sat in the grass, legs intertwined, passing Kendall’s vape pen between them and picking at the daisies.  

“Where’s Blu?” Cheryl asked Crystal, thinking Kat and Kendall were too preoccupied for company.

“She’s still got flu,” Crystal replied, blowing a cloud of smoke through the centre of her newest smoke ring. “She couldn’t come.”

——

Fuck this. Fuck the flu.

Blu felt like shit, and not just because of the flu. She was missing Cheryl’s surprise party. God, what irony. She hadn’t missed a day of term over the whole of sixth form, and now she had the worst flu of her life at the end of the summer holidays, right before everyone was going to uni and right before Cheryl was flying to America.

She looked down at her phone from earlier when she’d messaged Viv.

Blu: sorry im still sick

Blu: mam wont let me out the house

Blu: best i can hope for is to be better for monday to come to the airport

Viv: Can’t be helped girl xx

Viv: Hope your feelin better soon xx

She’d wanted to see Cheryl’s face when Viv brought her in for the surprise, because Cheryl would never guess in a million years and her face would be a picture.

She’d wanted to savour every minute she was still with her best friend before he had to get on the plane and go on that scholarship.

She’d wanted to give Cheryl her present at the party. Nothing worth a lot of money, or big, but something that meant a lot to Blu and she hoped to Cheryl too.

Sighing, she looked over at the corner where it was wrapped, ready to go. Where she’d almost fallen on it this morning, getting up and out of bed. Telling her ma she felt fine, before her unsteady legs gave out under her and she crashed into the wall.

It sucks being in bed all day.

She looked down at her watch - one of those new ones with the soulmate-finder on it, to see that the day was moving frustratingly slowly. There was nothing onTV, she’d watched what felt like the whole of Netflix, and she still didn’t really want to eat.

With a growl of frustration, she tugged the duvet over her head and snuggled down, hoping that being good and staying in bed would help her fever hurry the fuck up and leave her in time for Monday.

Then I can say bye.

She couldn’t let Cheryl go without saying goodbye. Cheryl was far more than her best friend.

Coming over from Belfast after her parents’ divorce two years ago felt like wrenching a tree from its roots and trying to plant it in rocks. London was too big, and even now Blu still wasn’t altogether used to central London, but here on the outskirts wasn’t as bad.

In addition to a different country, she’d had to shift her studies here too, and her first day at her new school had felt like all the wires in her brain had been rearranged. Besides, having the badge of honour of being the New Girl among these sixth formers who had already known each other for five years was never going to be straightforward.

But her first lesson, on her first day, Business Studies, had seen the prefect Cheryl toss her hair back from her shoulders and pat the empty space at the desk next to her, her smile charming and so fucking genuine.

It had been all Blu had needed for something hot to blossom in her chest.

She’d been so confused. Back at school in Belfast, she’d convinced herself having crushes on her girl friends was just a phase, as her ma had said, and she would grow out of it. But meeting Cheryl had made her sure that it definitely wasn’t just a phase. The crushes she’d had in Belfast came and went, like clouds on a windy day; like the boys who had entered her life but who had never felt real, and had let her go like the wisp of smoke she turned into. But Blu had never once moved on from Cheryl. Cheryl was the sky beyond the clouds. In her mind now, that was all there was.

Blu had shook when she’d told her ma she was certain now, over Christmas holidays in Year 12 - certain that she didlike girls, this wasn’t going away, and there was This Girl in her life now, and This Girl was incredible, kind, talented, gorgeous … and probably as straight as a poker. And her ma had nodded along with her confession, reassured her, let her cry at the relief.

Cheryl remained This Girl.

Incredible, kind, talented, gorgeous, and Blu was convinced poker-straight.

Blu opened her eyes, stunned to see the clock had moved on to seven pm in what felt like no time at all. She’d slept, by some miracle.

Her throat felt much better, too.

——

Three rounds of Ring Of Fire and countless attempts at Among Us later, and Cheryl was warm and drunk and swaying happily to the music from Divina’s Spotify playlist. Among Us had gone to pieces after everyone had collectively decided that Crystal was just always going to be the imposter and Crystal made no attempt to dissuade them; simply flipping her hair back and winking at them.

Cheryl felt the familiar sensation of Vivienne’s fingers at the back of her neck, tugging her hair back to braid. It transported Cheryl to being in Year 7 again, when Cheryl had had her super-long hair, and Viv had been obsessed with braiding it at every opportunity. Now, with long gentle fingers at the base of her scalp, Cheryl let herself ascend to cloud nine of relaxation.

“You having a good time?” Viv asked softly.

It was a tone she didn’t really use with the rest of the group; her own quiet way of caring. Cheryl tried to nod.

“Stop it, girl, your braid is coming out!”

“Sorry. Viv? Mum did know about this party, didn’t she, babe?”

Vivienne cackled in response to Cheryl’s tentative question. “Of course she did, like Divina would have decorated your house like that if your mum hadn’t known about us giving you a party.”

Divina spun round at her name, her red hair seeming to flare up. “Vivienne, if you don’t stop -“

But Divina was interrupted by a sharp nudge in the ribs from Crystal, and a pointed glance to Sum, who Cheryl only just noticed was lying on the ground, her hands in her rucksack. She sat back up with an impish grin.

“Do you want to play some pass the parcel?” Sum asked, her eyelids drooping as she handed a parcel wrapped in brown paper to Cheryl. Her words were slurred; Sum was the lightweight of the group, for sure. Still, Cheryl was drunk enough not to think that pass the parcel was a stupid idea.

“Let’s do it then!” Cheryl shouted above the music. “Everyone get on the floor!”

“Some of us don’t need to go far, do we?”

“Shut up, Kendall, I’m not that short!”

“Just shut up and sit down, Baga,” Cheryl pulled her down to sit with them all. “Right - who’s got the music on?”

“Me,” Divina said, holding her phone up. “I’ll do the stops.”

The parcel took forever to go round everyone, with them all having a turn to unwrap a layer. After the seventh layer was unwrapped, Vivienne realised that Divina was not stopping the music when she had the parcel, resulting in yet another argument. But once everyone had had a turn, as expected, the parcel landed on Cheryl as the music stopped.

It was a small box, big enough to fit in her hands as she cupped it. It had to be the last layer before the gift was revealed. Obviously, Cheryl thought to herself, they’ve planned all of this.

She tore the paper off, and was stunned.

“This is - guys -“

Cheryl had seen the adverts for the soulmate-finding smart watches, but holding it in her hands … it felt surreal.

“We wanted to get you something meaningful,” Sum was smiling warmly as she spoke, “and so we all got together and bought you this watch.”

Sure, Cheryl would have loved to have owned one of these watches before, but they were so expensive and so new, that she thought it would probably be years before she’d own one at least. And now, here was the small box that held one, of her very own.

“God - you must have spent a fucking fortune on me, you didn’t have to do that …”

Cheryl found tears come readily to her eyes as Baga gave her a hug.

“Chez, it’s fine. Maybe now you’ll find an American soulmate!”

“Maybe.”

“And then you can stay in America and not come back!”

Cheryl forced a smile as she patted Baga on the back, letting the tears fall now.

“We’ll need to set you up before you go so when you get there you can meet some American as soon as you land. There’s some, like, personality quiz or something they make you take so they can set you up with a soulmate. Give me your phone and I’ll set you up.” Divina reached for Cheryl’s phone.

“Hey, hey, what makes you think you’re going to be setting her up, Divina?” Viv protested. “We all bought it, so we allget to do it.”

“Why can’t you fucking -“

“Shut the fuck up! Both of you!” Crystal shouted above them both; the only one still seemingly sober. “God, you’re both being fucking childish.”

“We’re all doing it,” Vinegar announced, and her authoritative tone as always caused the rest of the group to go quiet; Divina as docile as a lamb as she handed over Cheryl’s phone and the watch.

The nine of them poured the rest of the spirits and the mixers into each other’s mugs and glasses, and gathered round Vinegar as she downloaded the app onto Cheryl’s phone and started filling in the questions on the personality test.

They’d been a group for seven years, and although they didn’t always all get along now, it was the closest Cheryl felt to anyone. Cheryl glanced round at her friends, close as sisters but loyal as family, feeling tears hot in her eyes once again. The slight unnerving feeling in her gut that she had every now and then threatened to throw her off course again, intrusive thoughts creeping back in.

Is this the right thing?

Divina and Viv weren’t staring daggers at each other for the first time in the last month; instead working in tandem and chuckling softly at each other. Vinegar, her tongue worrying her lip in concentration, tapped answers to the questions as the girls called them. Kendall motioned to Kat with her vape, and the two backed away to the door of the kitchen, Sum following them.

A Levels had been and gone, and school was officially done. Cheryl’s scholarship to the prestigious Iman Performing Arts college in New York City was secured, plus the resettlement grant which would pay for moving costs.

She was the only one leaving England behind.

Blu would get it. Blu knows what it’s like to move countries. But Blu has the flu.

She giggled to herself at the rhyming thought, the only thing she could do to keep from crying again. Baga was already eyeing her to make sure she didn’t. The last thing she wanted was for her makeup to smear any more than it already was.

But it felt so much like her bubble of school, of normal life, was ending; ready for this new world of academia and New York to begin. It was a dream come true and a nightmare rolled into one. But Blu would understand, because she’d already moved to another country.

She wished for Blu more than ever at that moment.

Before she could think about it too much, her phone was thrust back into her hand by Vinegar, the questions all completed.

“There you are, babes.” Vinegar pointed to the bottom of the page. “If you like what we’ve done, just hit go.”

Cheryl didn’t feel as if all the words were going in, as she looked down the page, reading descriptions of herself, answers to family questions, life, hobbies, hopes and dreams. She could see the words, but they didn’t register; and as she read them, they felt as if they were describing someone else, someone who maybe existed in a mirror rather than a physical form.

When she got all to way to the top, she blinked at the ‘looking for’ box. Vinegar had entered Men, but Cheryl hesitated. That wasn’t … quite right.

This is it, Chez. Now or never.

Vodka was great for a confidence boost. She tapped the button where Vinegar had added that she was looking for Men, and changed it to Any gender instead.

A detail that wasn’t missed by Vinegar’s inquisitive gaze.

“Wait, hold on, hold on. Chez? Chez!”

Vivienne turned to look, and so did Divina and Baga.

“Oh, finally!” Baga exclaimed, dragging Cheryl back into a hug. “We wondered if you’d admit it before you left.”

“What? How did you know?” Cheryl cried.

But none of them would tell her; just smirking at one another and alternating her with hugs.

——

Cheryl’s flight wasn’t set to leave until five, but she had to be there three hours early to get through customs - how did that make sense, Blu thought, when she could arrive forty minutes before and still get back to Belfast - and so Blu had wanted to be there early, but there were so many people on the Tube, plus a breakdown at St Pancras, meaning she had barely any time to sprint across the glistening tiles at Heathrow airport.

Where is she?

The departures board said her flight was already going through baggage check in and security. There wasn’t much time. She followed the signs to the bag drop …

“Blu!”

Crystal was coming towards her, and Blu saw behind her Divina, Viv and Baga; all presumably having come down in Divina’s cramped little third-hand Ford KA. Viv was rubbing her eyes, and the telltale mascara lines on her cheeks told no lies.

“That’s it, then,” Crystal nodded, looking gravely at Blu. “She’s putting her bags through and then - well, she’s gone until Christmas.”

“You can still catch her after she comes out of baggage check in, Blu,” Divina said gently.

Blu didn’t pause to second guess; she sprinted past them, towards the baggage drop, watching people queue with their cases, looking at the queues for any sign of her.

And there she was.

Cheryl in the flesh, coming out of the baggage drop and about to ship herself almost halfway around the world; her normally perfect blonde hair tied off her face; her normally flawless makeup not even slightly present. Just Chez in a baggy shirt, denim jacket, and a pair of leggings, ready to fly. Ready to leave this bubble behind.

Blu had never loved her more.

Before she had the chance to call her, their eyes met. Blu watched them expand, the elated grin flood her face, and her arms open as Blu ran into them. Cheryl caught her, squeezed tightly …

Time stopped.

How was she meant to let Cheryl go? They’d only known each other these last two years …

They hadn’t had the time as besties the rest of them had had, but Blu knew that Cheryl just felt like a part of her now; as if each of them were a jigsaw with one piece of each other that fit perfectly.

It’s not the end. It’s not the end.

But as much as Blu repeated that to herself, something churned in her stomach at the thought of Cheryl leaving.

When time finally flooded back into their day, as Cheryl pulled away; Blu watched her green eyes fill with tears and Cheryl hurriedly wipe them away.

“Sorry,” Cheryl muttered, “I knew I was gonna cry at some point.”

“It’s alright,” Blu whispered, her own voice breaking too much to speak louder.

Cheryl nodded, taking Blu’s hand and squeezing, gazing at the ground, giving Blu as reassuring a smile as she could muster when she was evidently breaking in two.

“I’ll be back at Christmas,” Cheryl was murmuring, meeting Blu’s eyes again, “and in summer. That’s not long. Christmas is only, what, four months away. And we’ve got Skype. Facetime. Whatever. We’ve got - we’ve got everything. We’ll stay in touch. We will. We all will. We …”

“I know.” Blu nodded back at her. “We’ll talk - every day if you want, Cheryl.”

Cheryl nodded again, hitching her rucksack higher on her back.

“I have to go through security.”

“Before you go -“ Blu had almost forgotten. Her own present. She tugged it from her bag, small as it was, wrapped in brightly-coloured paper. Cheryl would probably guess at what it was from the size and shape, but she still rattled it next to her ear for good measure, before laughing and taking off her rucksack to put it in.

“I’ll open it on the plane.”

“Alright,” Blu replied, but Cheryl was frozen, her eyes wide, pleading. Asking something that Blu couldn’t hear, couldn’t understand.

“You don’t want to miss your plane, do you?” Blu whispered.

“No.” Cheryl took a deep breath. “Thank you, Blu.” And with a shy smile, she leaned in and ever so gently gave Blu a kiss on the cheek.

It was the last thing Blu expected. She held her breath, wishing time would stop again, wishing she could hold on to this moment, or drag Cheryl back off the plane. But they’d had so much time. Over school, over summer, and nowwasn’t the right moment.

“Bye, Blu. Thanks for the present. See you at Christmas.”

Blu feigned nonchalance. “If we let you back in the country.”

Finally, Cheryl managed a laugh. Squeezing Blu’s hand for the last time, Cheryl pulled away, finally letting her go.

Blu let her, and watched her walk away to the escalator up to Security, the first steps to her new life in America.

It was only when Blu reached up to wipe the tears from her eyes that she saw the blue notification light on her new watch. She hadn’t figured out what all the notification lights meant yet, so frowning, she tapped the button on the screen.

‘A soulmate is within a 10m radius. Please press the blue button to start your timer. You have one day for your soulmate to respond. You then have 100 hours to connect. Alternatively, please press the red button to decline this opportunity.’

Blu felt her legs tremble.

No fucking way.

She was frozen to the spot, reading the message over and over.

Turning her head back up, she watched Cheryl reach the top of the escalator. About to head to Departures.

Now was the only chance she would have before she lost her.

But Blu couldn’t move.

Finally, her legs seemed to obey her as she tore to the escalator, taking the steps three at a time, and at the top - sighing with relief - Cheryl was still there, putting her liquid items into the tiny plastic bags, draining her bottle of water to the last drop.

“Cheryl!”

Cheryl spun at the shrill sound of her name, a split second before Blu launched herself at her. She opened her arms and caught her a second time that day.

“Blu? What’s wrong? What -“

“We got you a soulmate watch, didn’t we?” Blu could barely catch her breath, her heart hammering. “Are you wearing it right now?”

“Yeah, it’s here,” Cheryl nodded, and held up her wrist. Something caught her eye, and frowning, she looked at it. “Why is there a light on it?”

Blu didn’t reply; she simply held up her own watch, with the same notification light.

“You’ve got a soulmate watch too? Wait, why is yours like that as well?” Cheryl said, but Blu didn’t need to respond. Cheryl’s mouth fell open, and she turned her eyes from the watch to Blu; who watched her realisation and her every thought as it crossed her face.

Cheryl - isn’t straight either?

“You -“ Cheryl’s eyes filled with the same easy tears that she always seemed to produce; always the easiest cryer of the group of them, always the most emotional. “I can’t believe it. You did, too?”

Blu nodded, weak with relief. “Since the start of sixth form.”

Cheryl gasped. “Since we got paired up for business studies! God, two years! Two years we’ve wasted, not doing this!”

Before she could ask what she meant, Cheryl tugged Blu towards her, closing the distance, kissing her lips; and it was everything and more that Blu had dreamed it would be. Cheryl might not have been wearing makeup, but she still smelled divine, her warmth a solace, a right place to be. Blu wrapped her arms around Cheryl’s waist, hoping to go deeper, but Cheryl let her go suddenly.

Blu saw her eyes cloud over once again.

“How am I meant to get on the plane if we’re -“

But she couldn’t finish the sentence, words failing Cheryl for probably the first time in her life. Blu looked at the Departures gates, ignoring everyone else around them, and took a deep breath, swallowing hard.

“For your dream, Cheryl,” Blu whispered. “This is what you’ve wanted forever. You’ve always said that. Remember - remember that day you got the scholarship through? When we were in class?”

“God, we got so drunk that day,” Cheryl giggled.

“Yeah, well, you need to go for your dream.”

“But - “ Cheryl swallowed, her voice an octave higher than usual. “But we’re soulmates, Blu.”

Her words wrapped themselves tightly around Blu’s heart, and she thought she’d never in her life forget the ice-cold sorrow in Cheryl’s voice … but she couldn’t let that influence anything rash.

She sniffed, trying to hold her tears back. “You have to go, Cheryl. You’ll miss your flight. I’ll be here for you, when you get off it again, at Christmas. I promise.” Blu rubbed her arm. “I’ll be right here, at Heathrow. Go get your dream, girl.”

“God, we’re stupid,” Cheryl muttered, “for not realising sooner.”

Blu pressed Accept on her watch, and a new message came up.

‘Thank you for selecting. Your soulmate has one day to respond. You will be notified when they make their decision.’

“Tap yours.”

Cheryl giggled. “Why? It’s definitely me.” But she did so anyway.

Blu felt her watch vibrate again, presumably with another message, but she didn’t care; Cheryl was here, and the watch had somehow made everything they’d both hidden for two years come into the light, fall into place like the missing jigsaw pieces.

“What - what now?”

But Cheryl didn’t reply; she grinned through her tears as she pulled Blu back towards her for a last kiss; one that felt like sustainment, like life itself. Blu could do nothing now but enjoy this moment, the final one for now.

Cheryl finally let her go, and Blu had to tell her to go before she changed her mind.

“Get your flight! Go and get your dream!”

Cheryl looked at the security desks, then wistfully at Blu.

“I’ll be back at Christmas, alright, babe?”

“I’ll be here for when you land. I promise.”

Blu let her go.