#he was opening up safari to look for a picture of smth and he just had a fucking picture of a chimp with alopecia pulled up

[geodetojoy]

GUESS WHO'S ON TIME (FOR ONCE) BABYYY

PART 11 YIPPEE

"issa pwobwem :("

"thats one small step for- bshhhh youre just squished"

"its the death particle"

"youre no longer an NPC"

"the program shoots out millions of neutrinos and when its your time... the simulation's over"

"THE VALLEY GIRLS???"

"if he didnt like you hed just,, squish your grandpa"

"youre not gettin any bed tonight."

"yeah we go through 'em [dogs] really quick,,,"

"i went walking with my dog one morning.. well. previous dog."

"ssssssswear word."

okokok this next whole part is fucking wild alright

ok so i told disc about this but. essentially about half way through the period he gets a two second phone call, he says "alright cool" and hangs up. we ask him what its about, he says dont worry about it. and, like a guy who says not to worry, he fucking bolts into the chemical room, we hear shit falling over, crashes, banging, he comes back in, continues the lesson like normal

at some point hes like "alright, so-" and fucking walks out the door. he congregates with the other science teachers. he walks back in the room, takes shit from the corners, throws em around the place

we're all fucking losing our damn minds at this point. because who wouldnt be.

then, after a good. 10 minutes of this. the damn FIRE MARSHALL WALKS IN THE DOOR

and we're like???? dude???? why tf didnt you just tell us????

and they go straight to the chemical room and, ok for context we're not allowed to have food or drinks on our desks bc. science room. but like five kids have their water bottles. so as fucking soon as they close the door behind them, we immediately form a student water bottle brigade and toss them on the counter, where theyre supposed to be, and go back to looking like nothing happened as they walk back in

dude it was fucking wild and so damn funny oml

anyways more quotes

(in response to what he's asking for for christmas) "ammunition. to keep students away."

him: "a chimp is strong enough to rip your arms off."

student: "prove it"

him: "PROVE IT??? oh yeah like im gonna slather myself in peanut butter and jump into a chimp enclosure. (there was also smth abt a banana but i missed it :/)"

"cmon wheeler. thats saaaaad."

"got any acid for me grandpa?"

:)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12