#so i guess i hope this Doesn't make sense to anyone. i dont know. i guess.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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#today has been a day. as in time did pass. the earth rotated. and i accomplished very little#bc im just feeling paralyzed and not so good. and i guess thats understandable#like i understand y its happening but its not any less frustrating. mostly its just knowing that i have to make life altering decisions in#the next few weeks. and the pressure of: if i dont decide to go for this one project then they dont get a student and they dont get funding#that makes me pretty nauseous. and knowing i have an interview Thursday that im not ready for and i dont really wanna do#and its a product of not talking to people like a human being. like i just dont interact with people much. when im in the lab i mostly#stand around looking unapproachable or go in when i kno there's no one there and i just dont have close friends so i dont really talk to or#text anyone. i just work and fail to get things done. so then when im in a situation where i have to talk to ppl its all anxious shrapnel#or me dominating the conversation bc i cant stand the pauses and i have so much obsessivly rotatinf in my head. and i hate it. im so sick#of hearinf my own voice but no one talk in the way i want them to. i get so bored. and i want to ask pressing and uncomfortable things but#i kno i shouldnt. but i also dont really have a filter so ill just say fucking whatever. which is what i did Saturday when a triggering#topic of conversation arose. so now my lab mate officially knows too much. but whatever wtf is he gonna do abt it. i just get so annoyed#bc now its in my head. thr fact it set me off and that i overshared and that now its in my head. annoying.#and it doesn't help with the writing things i need to finish. bc i dont like feeling like ive done something wrong and one of the reviewers#has good points. which also probably means ill have to redo my 8 days of measurements so far#but i also might b able to shorten the timeline so idk. just a lot is happening rn and i feel the pressure and by brain doesn't like#pressure. and not doing things rn is not good. things need to be done#so idk i dont feel good but it makes sense. by the end of February hopefully things will b figured out#and i should sleep and hope for a better tomorrow#unrelated
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coffee-and-tea-time · 6 months ago
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Yandere shop! Choose your yandere!
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I was thinking, did you ever listen to yandere asmr videos? If so, you will catch on quickly that this is based on the yandere shop, which was so popular in asmr videos during the pandemia. - coffee
If you didn’t, quick summary Coffee gave me: imagine if there is a place where you can enter and you can ‘buy’ (they pay you since you are going to take care of a serial killer so he don’t kill people while you two got your twisted love) a yandere of your choosing. - tea
Word count: 1.2k but this will be edited to correct misspellings or weird sentence structure later, sorry in advance.
tw: yandere behavior, willing reader, delulu, written in you/yours, reader is a little nervous but really interested, you can choose humans yanderes and non-human (although humanoid) yanderes!
You fix your clothing and take a deep breath, your mind filled with ‘what if..’ yet, you were here, in a place that you didn’t trust was real
A creak takes you out of your thoughts, a smiling man dressed rather formally, greets you cheerfully.
“Sorry to interrupt when you are so absorb in your pretty mind My dear, but you know, a little push may help you”
He said as he extended his hand to you, well, you already made your way here hoping to get a yandere so you gather all your corague as you take the man's hand. He led inside the shop, you can hear the click of the door closing behind you as you follow him.
“Oh, I hope you weren’t thinking of backing up so quickly Dear, want something to drink?”
You gently shake your shake as you sit down in one of the couches, on the inside it looks pretty much like a coffee shop.
“Smart choice but you still seem rather nervous, want to say something before I go ahead and show you the catalog?”
“Well, I wanted to know, what can you do for the yandere you like to like you back? What if the one I choose doesn't like me back?”
Your worries were met with a not-so-subtly laugh from the man which make you kind of annoyed and embarrassed.
“Sorry Dear, I just never thought I ever meet somebody that feel insecure about the love of a yandere”
Now you wanted to punch him, is a normal question to ask! The yandere have their own way to fall in love!
“Let me give you a quick explanation, if they had a darling, both of us know they would be busy stalking them. The yanderes we have don’t have a darling, but are eager for the sense of love on their own way which may not suit everyone so to avoid problems, this shop was put in place as a matchmaker between differents kinds of yanderes and people who enjoy them"
You sight in relief as you nod.
“alright, who is more likely to go even more insane if they don't get a darling soon.."
"Sorry, what did you just say? I couldn't hear you well"
"Oh, nothing Dear, I was just searching for the ones that been waiting the most, is how the list work, I will show you a few options first so you have an idea, you can ask for another kind if you had something else in mind, I'm sure we got something that will suit your taste; Although, do remember that is just one yandere, we had problems with that before"
"How is it that someone got the permission to have more than one? I thought you guys will keep in track that since well, it's dangerous for anyone"
"She didn't have permission but she manage because she stubbornly wanted a yandere harem, the result are expected, averyone in that house died except for one yandere, he is again on the list, and as you can guess, he end up more being more... intense. He is totally your perfect option if you like a very possessive yandere, he's a more serious yandere for that experience"
“That will be dangerous for me too?”
"Dont worry Dear, he is truly desperate for love like the rest, his name is Dizie. But if you rather a more gentle treat, Gabriel is your guy, I don't know much about him since he said that only his darling will get to know everything about him. As far as I know, he's kind of yandere that will kiss the ground were his darling walk, a worshiper you can say, if you like someone looks at you like you are a deity, he's definitely your perfect match"
“Isn’t every yandere a worshiper in their own ways?”
"Well, I guess? Is true that others have another específic ways to worship, look, he's the baker, relishes in your enjoyment of their pastries, a very skilled baker that knows how to include the most unique of ingredients to make the sweetest of treats, dreams of putting his heart and soul in every treat he bakes for his darling, his name is Oliver”
"What kind of ingredients tho?"
“The next one you may like is actually a popular singer, he chooses to keep anonymous unless chosen, but if you want to be a celebrity or date one, he is someone you can guess that will love to spoil their darling, he’s on the talkative side, if you like art or stuff like that, you will enjoy his house. although he babbles a lot of how he wish to hear the voice of his darling obsessively for hours”
The seller seems to dodge your question.
“Ah, of course, we also have some special yanderes if humans are boring or less attractive for you, look, he’s Myotis, the classic vampire, he even has wings! Isn’t it perfect to see the sky closer while you enjoy the company of a yandere that looks like he just came out of a book? If you are also into short kings, you gonna love him without a doubt”
"He's not going to drain me out of blood, is he?"
“Dear, why would a yandere who waits so long for their darling, kill them? But if vampires aren't your type, you could go for a mothman! You will be the light of his life, literally. He’s a big softie and kind of clumsy; he just eagerly waits for the arrival of his daylight. A good choose if you like special clingy yanderes, he is not around humans too much, but he said he wanted to be called Lior if he got chosen. Oh, if you are on the stronger side, you may want to keep your eye on Tarak, he said something about his name meaning something like star and protector I think, I guess he chose the name by himself, he’s a prideful dragon and really loves to talk, honestly, I’m not that intelligent to understand some things that he say, but if you like to know new things by listening, asking or reading, he's your man, you can try trying to teach him something new, I don't think is impossible to archive”
“You know what ag
”
You stopped talking when you catch a security camera in a corner moving around frantically yet appear like not seeing anything?
“Don’t mind him, is just Grier, even though I don’t know if that's his real name, I do know he loves trying to spy here using the security cameras so we end up having to put tape on them when a darling is coming to the shop; as you can guess, he’s a hacker, if you choose him, you will be very well protected and taken cared of since you gonna be being watched even if you think you are alone, if that what you wish for, please do choose him.”
The seller looks at you, waiting for an answer, to choose what kind of yandere you want or ask for a specific type now.
“You don’t really go outside too much, so I don’t think you gonna have problems with any of them”
You act like you didn’t hear his murmur as you look at the papers in your hand of every yandere he just talked about.
If your favorite options lose or you want something specific, just send an ask! We love comments and interactions in general so don't be shy.
seller post
Sneak peek of the first encounters
Grier post
sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣
images from pinterest ⚘
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s4pphoiduser · 2 years ago
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love hearing people offhandedly point out things they've noticed about me and saying "oh really? oh i didn't know i did that" because i like feeling seen and known, as if i haven't been doing it purposely the entire time because i practice everything i say before i say it, i practice all my mannerisms and expressions, i say and do things that will get certain responses, not in a gaslight gatekeep girlboss way but in a i used to be teased and mocked for being awkward and kind of an outcast so i practiced how to smile and what to say to fit in and be liked and even to be hated way because im thinking what if this is who i really am and i think maybe if part of these actions are real then these people actually know me. maybe if i keep doing these things enough that it becomes a habit then it's just a habit i picked up naturally and it's just because i'm a #real person and not some Thing playing at being one.
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azure-cherie · 11 months ago
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PAC :
What's in your store for January
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Pile 1 -3
Hello love's hope you had a very happy and fruitful new year , I'm praying for the happiness and well being of all of us one more year together I'm so grateful for each one of youuu
Please choose using your intuition and take what resonates
If you'd like a personalized reading for new year
Paid readings , paid readings 2 , masterlist
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Pile 1 :
First of all what are you guys even dealing with good lord The energy is pretty heavy , I will not be surprised if you have prominent Saturn in your charts this month I believe you are dealing with karmic cycles , Things ending in general, you might be a bit shaken up soon something you thought never would happen will happen
I'm sensing career or home sector fights could be there as well as inner conflicts beware and take precautions don't get too caught up about what others have to say rather choose your own story this also indicates you might soon take a stand for yourself its really required something has to come to an end because the time is over now you are to urge for more ! Financially! Abundance is written for you this time your creativity will pay off I know you like you play with fire but remember life moulds you like a clay some fire glazes some melts you gotta choose your own battles why do I feel like I'm talking to myself lol .
You will understand the worth of spontaneous plans soon sometimes you gotta do stuff for the sake of doing it and you just gotta act wild just be careful about the fact that everyone you go out with isn't a friend every co worker doesn't mean good for you learn to see through people's mask ! Theres one video by persephonesmind its perfect she explains it really well , followed by ten of swords some of you might experience a rock bottom moment however it isn't for everyone but with the world be assured you will pick yourself up this might seem like a bad ending but it's a good one or turn out to be good it's a matter of time bae anyone who tries to play you cheat on you will be ashamed themselves because they will see the purity in your heart .towards the end of the month I see some enemies becoming friends.
Pile 2 :
You're a bad bitch period !! This month is about embodying the best version of yourself move on despite the snakes around you ignore the people you're gonna be investing on something that is worth it it's a sign ! Friendships are something you will be blessed this month new and old you will also actively let go of a fear of yours I heart heights and abandonment issues.
If you're looking for commitment from someone it will be given this month like engagements marriage yay social media fame is also written there would be more family functions to attend to I see more active energy in this pile. You will understand the worth of standing alone and work your intuition through difficult situations .Your dreams might be a clear indicator of something also I feel you're making someone cry or someone is making you cry ask advice from someone who's been there in your situation you can also ignore if the situation isn't as important I also feel ignorance energy I guess it's good because you're also healing from abandonment issues .
You'll be doing some course on money management or get advise from your elders on your resources. Sometimes we make our own problems dont get sucked into that take time but let your loved ones know that you need it ! Also you really need that money management advice as you might end up losing something but I also don't think it will he a bad loss ! Sometimes sacrifices are necessary you might understand the worth of small losses now but that will protect from bigger issues later.
Pile 3 :
I don't dress for women I don't dress for men lately I've been dressing for revenge! That's your main mood this January you're gonna show everyone who didn't believe in you what you're capable of you're going new heights reaching new goals making new ways I'm so proud of you
You have struggled a lot to do this actions manifesting you are getting closer to what you want , might fetch yourself a new leadership position this month you're gonna be an example an epitome of grown beside the struggles because you're so ready to work despite all the sneaking going on behind your back you're gonna be doing the thing needed to defeat your enemies you will undergo momentary defeat and might cry for a while because you might feel all forces are against you this is the time to pour into your inter child
When trauma shows up remember to shadow work nothing ever goes away one needs to heal with it don't get swayed away with temptations and fake promises I heard devil is strong but so is the knight know that your emotional strength will lead you through this you have to be more intune with your emotions but also lead with logic it's a hard balance to learn but once you're on it you become undefeated and you will be I'm so sure about that.
Thank you so much for reading
Have a great day/night ahead ❀
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issdisgrace · 1 year ago
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Shit I'm sorry I didn't notice the request info-
Okay, can I please request Thomas Shelby x Tall and buff male reader who's the sweetest thing on earth but has one "flaw".
He's too damn handsy. Place, time, people, pffff, suit, shirt, naked, he doesn't care.
He just really loves Thomas man tits and his ass.
Not in a teasing way, it just makes him relax.
Just Thomas's reaction and how he's dealing with it. Whatever.
Thank you~ 💕
4 TIMES MR. HANDSY STRUCK
WARNINGS: Accidental groping, purposeful groping, swearing, yeah thats about it.
A/N: I hope you like this. I had a fun time writing this, so please feel free to request again.
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Y/n was a tall and buff man. He looked like he could kill anyone without a second thought. But in reality, he was the kindest and sweetest thing to ever walk the earth. He was a gentle giant in all senses of the word. But there was one thing about the man that many would consider a flaw. It was the fact that he was handsy, very handsy when it came to his partner, Thomas Shelby. The man couldn’t keep his hands off Tommy. So here are 4 scenes in which Y/n couldn’t keep his hands to himself.
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Walking down the streets of Birmingham on the way to The Garrison. It was quiet and peaceful; the sun had actually been out. Unlike most other days in Birmingham. Y/n had his arm wrapped around Tommy’s waist as they walked, casually talking. Tommy hadn’t realized Y/n’s hand slipping closer and closer to his ass until the man squeezed it, causing Tommy to yelp in surprise.
“I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m sorry.”
“I wasn’t expecting it, that all.”
Tommy says brushed it off, and the two continued their walk.
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The Garrison was loud with hustle and bustle of the man drinking inside. In a corner booth sat the Shelby family and, of course, Y/n. The family talked and drank, Y/n adding in every once in a while not want to interrupt those who were speaking. Y/n threw his arm overs Tommy’s shoulder and continued onto listening to the conversation at hand. Without even realized himself, his hand moved down and now was on Tommy’s chest. It wasn’t until John made a joke about it out that he and Tommy realized.
“Y/n, you done feeling up my brother for the night? It’s a bit distracting.”
Y/n’s face flushed, and he quickly unwrapped his arm around Tommy, covering his face in pure embarrassment.
“Sorry.” He mumbled in his hands as the family had a laugh.
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It was sometime after 10pm when Y/n managed to covince Tommy to call it quits for the night and join him in bed. Y/n sat in bed paeintly waiting for Tommy to be done with his night routine and join him. Eventually Tommy join him and they curled up togeather. They talked for a little bit until Tommy relized Y/ns hands found there way to his chest.
"My prince, can you explain to me how your hands always seem to find my chest."
"I'm sorry. I didnt mean to."
"Shh. It is ok my prince. Im just curious."
"I dont know. I guess touching them grounds me. It makes sure i know that everyting going on is real. But i guess it also calms me. I'm sorry if i make you uncomfortable. I can stop."
"Its fine my prince. I dont mind."
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Tommy was hosting a party for the Peaky Blinders in order to celebrate some of their new achievements. The rowdy men happily drank the beer that was in the house and chatted. Tommy leaned against the bar, talking to Polly when Y/n came up behind him, grabbing his ass gently with both hands. Then resting his head on Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy turned his head slightly to look at you.
“Do you need anything, my prince?”
“No, just a little bored.”
“Ok.” Tommy said, then returning to talk to Polly.
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The Shelbys, minus Tommy, who was nowhere to be seen, were sitting around having a drink at The Garrison
“Is it me or is Y/n really handsy with Tommy? I feel like half the time I see him with him, he’s either grabbing Tommy’s butt or his chest. It’s fucking weird.” Arthur slurs slightly, the alcohol getting to him a bit.
“Oh no, he is. You're definitely not imaging it, Arthur.” Ada says.
“Sometimes I think the poor thing doesn’t even realize he’s doing.” Polly adds in.
“Its fucking funny as hell. Have you seen the way some newcomers react when they see it happening? It’s fucking priceless. Their eyes get all wide and shit and they look like they’ve seen the most traumatic thing in the world.” John said.
“I’ve heard some newcomers people ask around, asking if it was a normal thing.” Finn adds.
“I know it’s also grate to see their reactions when they're told it’s a normal occurrence.” John says. After he says that, out of nowhere Tommy appearing
“What are we discussing this fine evening?”
“Nothing.” The other Shelby boys say at the same time like a kid that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
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sing-singy · 8 months ago
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Hi!!!!! I noticed your host!Amelia doodles and i thought it was SO cool and just wanted to know if you had any more info abt it?????? sorry to bothhher
Hi ♡ thank you for finding interest in it. I dont mind asks at all so dont even worry about that either... onto the actual question. Ill be real, most of my ideas for that au arent planned because the idea of it wasnt planned either. ...it came out of me playing tomadachi life. . . I can just recount everything so it makes more sense maybe
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Scenty doesn't make them do challenges she keeps them on the plane to live life like theyre bugs and basically finds joy in being able to watch them and maintain control while also craving more interaction from other people. this ultimately means that no one gets eliminated and no one is in any real danger. however, Charlotte is literally dying from the mold and ends up . yknow, dying. Freaking Scenty out because one she didn't expect it and two since she had never killed anyone during their stay in the plane she never learns the respawn command making it even more of a disaster to her mental state lol
Ok so this is where things get fuzzy im not to sure how charlotte does it BUT SHES ABLE TO NAVIGATE THE RADIO (maybe another stone is there in the waiting room idk let me have this) and ultimately is able to arrive back at earth. Parker runs into her they have a whole back and forth, Charlotte is avoiding him with her mixed feelings while Parker wants them to have some sort of communication because hes equally as worried for her as he is frustrated. Im pretty sure i planned for them to investigate the whole plane and maybe even more about Scenty (without knowing its the unknown 'deity' who trapped her and the others.) Charlotte concluded she has to stop Scenty by going back which . means she has to kill herself. Which Parker is immediately against and they have their second big fight but it ends with Charlotte dying anyway.
anyway SOMEHOW Charlotte is able to go to Scentys world and wow she finds out shes a normal person who just decided to fuck around and find out i guess. Scenty is immediately overwhelmed with joy because wow Charlottes here and shes alive! And shes. not a murderer, hah. But Charlotte is pissed so they definitely have a very funny bonding moment where Charlotte has to suppress the urge to kill this naive and too overbearing candle. While trying to figure out how to stop what she's doing with everyone else.
..and yeah, the ending is basically undecided because i had planned for either one of them to die.. OR BOTH who knows really but i still dunno either way so there's that. I hope you enjoyed my long spiel cause this might be what you get for a while lol and if none of this makes sense, then sorry, but i literally can not construct anything comprehensible in my current state LOL
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squarebracketsmileyface · 8 months ago
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if you're looking for some Jam coded songs might I suggest the song I Love You Too - Ezra Bell
Jam song jam song jam song jam song yayayayayay
okay, it got a little long so: thingy bob
god this is so perfect for them though :] its so happysad and that's literally just so them. they are happysad together, theres so much wrong going on around them and they're all they have to turn to for comfort, so of course they're going to turn to each other. And they do love each other. they definitely do, but its definitely complicated. It's not long lasting love, but they still want to make each other feel loved.
Especially Tim. he wants to make sure Jay feels loved, he wants to fix Jay even though he definitely can't. Jay has to fix himself, and he doesn't want to, so he'll take all the nice things and the i love you's Tim will tell him and he'll hoard them and hope they'll fix him a bit, but not too much. He wants to be fixed enough that he stops feeling completely like shit, but not enough that Tim wouldn't need to keep trying to fix him. (Does that make sense lmao? god knows)
All of the lovers have moved on But yours is the steepest of hills And you glare at yourself in the mirror They all know things that you never will
They'll feel the things you can't access As they stand by the river at dawn You've grown older and cagey and classless And regret just what little you've done
This bit feels especially like its about Jay. Kinda like, at first its Tim in uni? like, he kinda knows about jay and alex even though they haven't actually told anyone (they're just not subtle about when they sneak away, and when they both come in covered in hickeys) like, Tim can kinda tell from just, Jay's face that there's something not ideal about his and Alex's arrangement, and he can take a pretty good guess at what it is given the way Jay's face drops whenever the topic of sexuality comes up in their little 'friend' group and Alex insists he's straight and gets really defensive over that fact.
Then it becomes current Tim who knows more about Jay and about Jay and Alex's not-relationship, and he knows that as Jay's gotten older he's gotten more cagey about everything, more like, defensive and more just generally weird about his relationships with people and all that. There's a specific word i'm looking for and I just can't for the life of me find it, but like yeah. Tim knows Jay's a lot more, like, spiteful? that's not the word either. spikey? WORDS ughhhhh, anyway
i love this song. its so them. its so Jam. they're such a mess. I love them but they're gonna be terrible if they're allowed to continue for too long. Ugh why can't i just telepathically beam my thoughts and ideas into peoples heads, it'd be so much easier than trying to translate the colours and shapes that make up how i feel about Jam in sorry its locked in my head.
They're just purple right now. like the colour of a bruise that you really wanna press on just to feel it hurt like a bitch so you remember its there and you know that the bump that gave you it actually happened.
that's them in my head right now.
they're a bruise
They're a bruise on each other. not a nasty one. not one given cruelly. but not one given as a hickey either. just a bruise given kindly. that doesn't even make sense.
they're just purple like a bruise i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwww. words don't make it make sense for themmmmmmmmmmm.
they're my babies and they hurt each other without even meaning to. but given where they are that hurt is sort of a kindness? because it's not as painful as it would be if they weren't trying to be gentle with each other. They're trying. even if it wont last forever.
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bizlybebo · 8 months ago
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For your final thoughts on PD once you finish, I present to thee:
This ramble ask
How ya feeling?
HOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTT ENDYYYYY
ENDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IT. I WAS NOTTTT EXPECTING ANYYYY OF THISSSS AAAAAAAAAAJRGBTJKWEFREGTKWEFREGTKRFGNYT
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE ASKING FOR BY SENDING IN THIS ASK. KJREHKJERHD
this is probably gonna be even longer than my ramble after completing the greyscale series so once again i dont expect you to read all of this but OHHH YM GODDD i need to dump my thoughts somewhere cause HOLY SHITTT
after writing this out i really only managed to touch on the last 2-3 episodes but yk. there are my thoughts on the ending so it makes sense. i dont think we wanna see how big my ramble on the entire fucking series could get
spoilers ahead for anyone else who sees this: literally all of prime defenders s1 and s2
ashe came home.
ashe fucking CAME HOME.
now, i had a feeling since about episode 35 that ashe was certainly coming home, because there was so much buildup, yakko did an ashe cosplay, etc. like it would have been stupid for her not to return at that point. plus i kept seeing people drawing a post-trickster ashe and was like huh.
so essentially, i thought that because i Knew, i wouldn't get blindsided by these final episodes. in fact, knowing almost made it more... bearable? i guess, because i could hold onto the light at the end of the tunnel that ashe was 100% coming home. it almost made me feel the same hope that the group was feeling about ashe, because i had that certainty and faith in the good ending.
and then william wisp fucking died. again.
i was really sleepy when i was listening to that scene but still persisting because my anxiety was slowly increasing as the episode went on, but when the trickster just. plunged his hands through william's chest i was FULLY awake just sitting in absolute shock. i'm not the kind of person to cry huge tears over media (i think the only time i non-happy cried watching riptide was ep 53), but when william died For Real i actually gave a good few sobs. i was no longer sleepy i was just in shock and then in grief.
and i was like. oh shit. maybe there is no good ending.
something like that ENTIRELY blindsided me in such a crazy way that it had me doubting ashe would even come home.
and i kept thinking, hey, no, he's risen before, he'll be okay! but then he went to the fucking spirit realm. he got dispensed there with kumori and began the first day of forever and i was like oh. shit.
william was gone.
and the REACTIONS from dakota and vyncent were both so guttural and real and true to their characters in their own ways. like so good it's nearly painful to think about.
dakota's loud. he's loud and he's rambunctious because he's dakota. he never speaks below a shout.
but when william was torn in half, he wasn't shouting, he was wailing. the absolute shock and denial he was in haunts me dude.
dakota's was begging william not to do this to him. he could forgive william for so much-- for lying to him, for not asking for his help, for fucking killing jade, but he could never forgive william for dying.
dakota's not the kind of kid to ask, y'know? if something doesn't go the way it should to him then he'll fight abrasively and outwardly for what he believes is right, or in the harder cases he'll bite the bullet and take the fall.
but here, he was pleading with william to just. not die.
and i think the final thing that shattered my faith that hey, maybe william wasn't gone was that tide was so accepting of it. he fell to his knees, he grieved and he was torn apart for a second, but then he was back up, holding dakota, going as far as to use a whole turn in initiative to only hug his boy despite the deadly circumstances. despite the world falling apart around them. to loosely quote my other mutual cayden (<333), "at the end of everything hold onto something and dakota had to hold onto tide because it was the end of everything for him" and i think that's just. the only way i can really phrase it. top 10 moments that rewired my brain chemistry
and dont get me started on dakota LITERALLY JUMPING THROUGH HELL FOR EVERYBODY. JUMPING THROUGH HELL, LOOKING THE TRICKSTER IN THE EYES AS HE DID SO. LIKE I'VE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT SOARING THROUGH THE BURNING SKIES OF THE CHAOS REALM? THE REALM THAT CORRUPTS AND WARPS EVEN THE STRONGEST DEMONS? AND STILL COMING OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE YOU'RE DAKOTA MOTHERFUCKING COLE AND YOU SIMPLY REFUSE TO SUCCUMB?? FUCKING INSANEEE.
and. fucking. fuck.
vyncent. MOTHERFUCKING. sol.
when i fucking catch condifiction.
vyncent sol is such an interesting fucking character. most of the time i'm like "there is something deeply wrong with him <3" in an endearing sense because yknow. he's a little strange. he's not from around here.
but oh my god.
vyncent sol, THE character development guy ever.
he starts off season 1 violent, unable to control his powers. he's violent, and he's scared, and he's homesick, and he's like a skittish dog who bites when it gets nervous because he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing here.
but he changes. he grows.
he gets his closure with fauna, yeah, but then he finds a new home. he finds himself in a flying car, chasing after the fucking lich, watching william and dakota fighting in the front seat like a married couple, and he just thinks yeah. this is home.
and he doesn't quite unlearn his violence or his vengeance but they do certainly shift gears (also tidbit-- the 'fatal flaw' of justice is vengeance which is part of why i chose him for that human soul in the undertale shit i was telling you about :D).
his character is about balance. he has to learn not to be reckless and violent like in season 1, while also not apathetic and taking inaction like he did in s2 episodes 31 and 32.
at the end of everything, he protects william with his life, ready to interpose any attack. he thinks that he can do right by somebody this time, act now so that there aren't any consequences later (y'know, like he never did with jade, or ashe, or the lich).
but william. still. dies.
the sheer anger that vyncent felt in that moment was overshadowed so strongly by his grief, but it was still there. i can't even put it into words without going on a whole nother tangent but oh my fucking god. dude. vyncent sol has irreparably rewired my brain he is all i'm gonna think about.
prime defenders honestly is just THE character development show in general. i haven't even touched on william's development, on how he put faith in his friends over mal even if he knew it was going to make things much harder because he trusted dakota and vyncent so much. on how he literally got killed, repeatedly, over and over, in the spirit realm for 12 hours straight. on how he dirtied his hands during the greyscale arc out of fear.
on how he finally. stopped. running. stopped trying to escape who he was. but still won't come out of the closet
and god this is a looooong fucking ramble and i haven't even said much yet, this is only me screaming about the last two episodes really, but so much has happened in them that i just AUUUUGUGHGGHGHJKTEHRKJ
and. holy fucking shit.
JADE??? MAY STILL BE ALIVE??? D OYOU UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING FERAL IM GOING OVER THIS JADE CANTRIP VENGEANCE ARC. I NEEEEEED XAVIERRRR TO SEE HER AGAINNNN JADE AND XAVIER'S FRIENDSHIP MEANS SO FUCKING MUCHHH TO MEEEEE
AND ATLAS? BRO POOR FUCKING ATLAS. he really could not catch a fucking break for the ENTIRE series. when bizly started describing the 'odd fizzling' i was like 'man this guy is just going THROUGH it with his career i feel kinda bad for him' and then.
he was dead.
i think grizzly said it best, how bizly has to 'keep reminding us that prime defenders is r-rated' cause yk. the sudden violence/gore. it was so impactful you were so right when you were talking about tonal whiplash because holy SHIT.
like we were just in mario kart hell chasing after le frog who stole pizza he couldnt even eat cause he was vegetarian. and then atlas' throat was slit and he was marked with an x. (x as in xavier's vigilante persona????????RTEHRTTT$YRJHTTETR)
im just AUGUGHGHGH so FUCKING UNWELLLL OVER THIS ENTIRE SERIES. I'M SO STOKED FOR WONDERLUST BUT ALSO THAT MEANS PRIME DEFENDERS PROBABLY WON'T RETURN UNTIL THE END OF THE YEAR OR EVEN LATER.
i need a prime defenders christmas episode. dearly.
the bright side of this is that now i can write a shit ton of fic + inhale every single fic under the prime defenders tag on ao3.
but GODDD this is the most gutwrenching piece of media ever. i've never had such a strong hyperfixation since 2020 because the world is just so good. every single character and npc means the world to me. even summer and doug are constant subjects of my brainrot. even fucking lightspeed and harlem and aughughugnjtr.
thank you for the ask endy lmao im FUCKING CLAWING AT THE WALLS OVER THIS SHOW. AIUKGHEJHW
JADE CANTRIP REVENGE ARC PLSPSLPLSPLSPLSPLSPLS. I NEED HER TO COME BACK AND I NEED HER TO COME BACK WRONG AND I NEED XAVIER TO BE TERRIFIED OF HIS BEST FRIEND EVEN THOUGH IT'LL EMOTIONALLY DESTROY ME AKTJHETRKJTRWKERE
okay that's. all i can say for now
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guess-ill-dye · 4 months ago
Text
I'm sad :(
Vent post
It has been a year since my mom gave my cat to someone.
I miss him so much
There is a Portuguese word that is a noun for when you miss someone. "saudade". You say I have saudades. It doesn't make sense in English but that's how I feel abt Simba. That's my cat's name. He's not my cat anymore. But I don't think I know anything else to call him. It was my fault. My mom was always mad I didn't clean the litterbox. I never thought she would do this. It's was a Monday. I was trying to be better and cleaned his litter box once a week, every Monday. It was cleaning the litter box day. And I didn't do it. I went home and there was no sign of him. She put him outside, in our balcony. He was there for months. It was meant to be a week. He should be here. She lied to me. It was just an excuse to get rid of him. I looked at pictures of him. I dont have a lot. I have one in the back of my phone. He looks so cute, I got his tongue sticking out in the picture. I miss him. I used to draw him. He was such a nice model. I loved drawing him. Now whenever I see a cat I see him. There are so many stray cats where I live. My neighbour got a cat. My mom bragged to her how she got rid of Simba. She is proud. No-one talks about him. It's taboo. No-one seems to care. My dad liked him. He doesn't seem to notice what day is it. I used to think about him dying one day, while he was snuggled with me in bed and I would cry. At the thought. The day he was taken away there were a ton of seagulls. All I could hear was him meowing. I wrote a poem, I drew him, just to get my head lighter. It didn't work. I never told anyone about it. Never told my friends. For all they know I still have a cat. Once my friend came to my house and she asked where my cat was. I said he was at my grandparents. I lied. I felt bad lying. I usually never do if it won't harm anyone. It did not hurt her, it was just curiosity. Still I felt bad. I try to avoid it. I don't talk about it. The first month of school after the holidays was bad. I was really sad. I sometimes just laid my head down and thought about him. My friends were nice. They never asked any questions. I didn't want to answer any questions. I talked to some people online. It helped for a while. I barely though about him and when I did it wasn't sad, it was just numb. I was sad during the night. I went on minecraft and made a creative world called Simba. I built and image of him in the ground. It was in a beautiful cherry blossom forest. I spawned tons of cats. Gave them all names. All the orange ones were Simba. I got one of the orange ones and tamed him. I built a house. Put a bed. Put him next to it. Then I went to sleep. I felt better then. I went to a psychiatrist. She said I was trying to hard to be happy and neglected my feelings. Atleast that's what I remember. I guess I am. I try not to think about Simba never. I can't do that now. I have been trying to forget everything bad that happened to me since always. I went to sleep and forgot it all. It worked. I woke up with hope everyday. But I can't forget him. He is not a bad things. His absence is. I can't forget something that is so violently not there. I tried to get help on Tumblr, before he was taken away. I deleted the post and hour later. I thought it was pointless, that it didn't make sense. I still tell people I have him. I dont even know where he is. The lady who took him had another cat. She died of cancer for what I heard. She also has another one. She sent my mom pictures of him. She sent them to me. She said he didn't miss me, that he was happier there. I wonder if she is right. I saw on the Internet cats don't do that. They remember. I wonder if he does. I asked mom to see him in the lady's house. She said maybe. That was in October. She lied. Again. When I was 7 or 8 or 9 or 10 my mom broke my favourite doll because my room was messy. I never forgave her. I never will. I miss Simba.
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cutekittenlady · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr Plays Pokemon White 2 - Part 5
I just need one.
Just to steady my nerves.
JUST. ONE.
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GLUG
GLUG
GLUG
Ohhhh thats the good stuff.
Okay Polly. You can do this. Just walk out on that soundstage. And, i dunno, act?
Dear lord this is like third grade talen show all over again. Only this time I don't have Hugh to dig the hole.
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......
The filming... actually turned out okay? It was pretty standard fare hero schlock but ah well.
And hey, i actually have a fan!
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Hmmm this is going straight into my veins.
Dont tell my mom.
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Your lucky I've had my lemonade hit today old man.
Welp. Guess I'm a move star now.
hehe.
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Oh shoot it's dark. Uhhh is Pop Roxie still running his boat? I did say I was gonna do all the gym matches so I kinda gotta go to Castelia right? Hnngh maybe I'll come back to do more films later?
At least after getting a set of wings or something to get here and back again in a jiffy.
I wind up running to the pier in the rain.
Okay Hugh I'm here, sorry I took so long. See there was this bald guy with a really unfotunate name and-
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Whaaaats going on here?
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What like.... like the terrorist group? I mean lets not jump the gun here Roxie. I mean just cause theyre dressed kinda funny doesn't mean we can just jump to conclusion. Besides even if they WERE Team Plasma they wouldn't just admit to it. Nobodys that-
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... Wow okay so... you guys are like... actually that dumb then?
Look I- No I get you wanna make some big dramatic speech but I- Stop cutting me off you RUDE LITTLE-
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Hugh, baby, do NOT cut the Polly off when shes speaking! You know what happened in third grade.
Anyway Hugh goes off on this whole hate filled speech about how much these guys suck. And I expected some kinda edgy response but instead.
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Home slice. You were chased... by Lillipup? Dude I hit a Lillipup with a bike when I was, like, five and it was flattened like a pancake. Sure, I got banned from riding for, like, ten years but my point is that anyone who runs from a Lillipup, a Lillipup right?, has no right joining a terrorist organization.
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God its the third grade all over again.
Hope you have a shovel Hugh.
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Oh sweetie.
We're gonna bury you.
Plasma Grunt sent out a Patrat against Bentley and you can just tell that Bentley has a chip on his shoulder over the Gym battle because hes raring to go. Patrat starts with bide after Bentley wraps him up, after that I had Bentley use growth while Patrat stored energy. Next round Patrat releases the energy and Bentley hit him with vine whip. That combined with wrap gets the little rat int he red. Patrat manages to forestall hi defeat with detect but one return later and its over.
After defeating the Patrat Bentley learns Leaf Tornado.
The Plasma grunt and his buddies have enough sense to run off before we can really get going and run for their lives.
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Its okay Hugh you didn't have a shovel anyway.
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Uh... Pretty sure thats a YOU job? Your the gym leader here.
However Roxie gives me the HM for Cut before running off.
Well Hugh guess we have a free HM now soooooo
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Deep inhale through nose
Yeah okay.
Your lucky were friends Hugh.
The things I do for friendship.
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Thats what I DOING! GAWD
Look its not like we're even going to find them! If they're really in a terrorist cell theres no way they're just going to be standing out in the open like a jackass saying "Come and get me Polly"
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.... Bentley.
Go loose buddy.
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Hey look its a purrloin.
And now its dead.
Just like old times. Old times being, like, the day before yesterday. Or whatever.
Aaaand the Plasma grunt runs away.
Hugh get her!
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I... you... She ran RIGHT PAST YOU!
YOU HAVE A PIG WHO BREATHES FIRE!
wHaT... i DONt.... THIS IF YOUR VENDETTA!
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oh please do tell
Okay she said they have a boat. Castelia City has a port. Hmm Okay.
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I... we were JUST there Hugh! We'd have been better off just waiting in Virbank for them to come back and then jumping out at them from behind a trash can! Or dragging them into an alley to get info or something!
Arceus Dammit Hugh! This is YOUR revenge quest! I'm just tagging along cause Prof. Juniper asked me to complete... the... pokedex....
You know what Hugh, you uh, you go on ahead. I have some stuff I gotta... take... care of....
Shit shit shit how many pokemon do I have to catch?!
Ran into a shaking bush and caught an audino on the way to the pokemon center. Shove THAT into the PC for now, what else....
Route 19... Route 19 gotta start with route 19. Habitat mode dont fail me now!
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GOT IT!
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YOU. IN BALL. NOW
DANGIT YOU ARE NOT GETTING IN THE BALL
ARIES GT OUT THERE AND PARALYZE THAT CRETIN!
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YES
IN BALL
CAUGHT
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MOVING ON
DAMMIT OF COURSE THE FIRST PURRLOIN I FIND HAS LIMBER
AAAAAAAHHHHH
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sentience-if · 8 months ago
Note
Going around asking all my favourite IFs this-
My friend (who has written one and a half IFs so far) told me that she balances all the routes very carefully. If one choice reduces one stat and increases two others, then the other choice also does the same, though it might not be the same stats. She does this for most choices. She believes it's the only way to not have a route that's perfect or seems like the canon path.
I'm just starting writing an IF, but this does not seem to be working for me. Maybe I just need to add more stats?
Either way, do you agree with this? How do you balance your routes within the game?
Hmm, I guess it really depends on what your stats are and how much they actually influence the story. I'll put a read more cutoff here just in case anyone doesn't want the stats spoiled
I actually think less is better, for me anyway. Sentience only has two stats that are important beyond just flavor text: Humanity and Sanity. (though now that i think about it, Humanity is the more important of the two and has the most control over the story). You start at neutral (50/100) and raise or lower them along the way; different routes appear based on how far the stat is from 50. having two makes it pretty easy to keep track of and balance- I mean there's essentially only four options, like a punnett square lol. I dont always include all four, and sometimes i add a 'noncommital' option, but it's a useful structure
I weight different choices (for all stats, including personality and RO approval) like this:
1 point - minor choice, may not have clear implications
2 points - medium, has consequences but it's not hard to walk it back
3 points - major choice, will have obvious effects
I used to keep a spreadsheet to keep track of the max and min you could have for each stat, but i kept forgetting to update it so now i just have a bunch of test saves where i've maxxed out stats individually. only time will tell if it's a good system đŸ€· I'll have to finish the game first lol
Also, you might consider if you actually *want* your routes to be balanced. I know a lot of people complain about "canon routes" but I really don't think it's that wild to have bad endings or endings that are more difficult to achieve. It *is* a game, after all, not just a story. And remember that the purpose of stats is so that you can make conflicting choices, so one single choice doesn't lock you in to a certain route
hope that helps :) good luck soldier
or if this made no sense at all, feel free to come back and tell me specifically what part of balancing isn't working for you
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neutrallyobsessed · 2 months ago
Note
ok so Frida x Topher??
I saw a lot of potential in it imo
Frfrfr!!
I Ship It!!!!! ^0^
What made you ship it?
Plsss it's Columbus x Latinamerican Girlie!!! You can't go wrong with that~~ x33
What are your favorite things about the ship?
Ouhoiguiguqb5ref the historical relevance is delicious of course! And in-universe there's something that is so wholesome as it is forbidden. Picture the Is Progressive To Be Liked (fails) x Is Progressive To Be Liked (succeeds) dynamic that can't be public because Succeeding means not associating with those who Fail. But it's Frida, the most popular girl in school, her word can be law, but now the conflict is one of not letting anyone to power trip and that Topher isn't one just be emasculated just like that. There's admiration and there's jealousy. Silver Tongue Ship that can lead to quite the amusing battle of wits i think. To say i ramble xdd i like the view of Frida being nice to Topher. I like same height (short) ships ĂłwĂČ. I like the idea of Topher being better than Frida in some aspects~~
Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?
That the ship is epic :v and I guess we all are too afraid of shipping a canon sapphic with a guy, knowing that people get beheaded for that in other fandoms even when the characters don't have confirmed sexualities..... and I dont know what to do with that~~
Tophrida tastes like: Reheated Leaftover~! It doesn't matter of what food, it all tastes better if it has a day or two. Yeah, it's the history, that after sometime, it can be hot again. It's as mundane as it's intimate. Am I making any sense?? It's just tastes so fucking good but it takes time yknow?? (And i hope food poisoning knows how my body works đŸ˜€đŸ˜€)
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tadpolesonalgae · 6 months ago
Note
Okie i'll copy you for a bit a do the quote for each comment thing so i dont get lost hehe
I don’t know? I think to us as readers of the series I kind of agree, but then he cooperated with the alliance, and also I’m on the side that if anyone should be able to see through his mask it should be the IC since hello Rhysand? UTM? CoN???? The idea of a mask/persona???
honestly this is one of the million problems with acotar because yeah when i say the ic has no way of knowing that eris isn't all bad i mean sjm keeps writing the story like that but you're right it doesn't make any sense. i mean even apart from eris doing literally what rhys has been doing since forever, how am i suppose to believe that mor knows all truth or whatever her powers even are and that rhys is a mind reader, and azriel and amren are supposed to be able to read people so well, that azriel's shadows see things that others don't but they still think eris is as bad as beron. that and both eris and mor kinda have made it seem like there's something else there (i genuinely think sjm planned on making mor and eris mates or something but then people started calling her out on having no diversity and she made mor gay out of nowhere). im also pretty sure its common knowledge in the ic that yes eris dumped her over the border without any other help which sucks but he didn't actually hurt her (that was kier) and one look at the autumn court would be enough to tell them that mor would have been hurt even worse if beron had seen her so how did they not put 2 and 2 together. i guess he still hurt her enough and as her friends they probably wont ever forgive him but it doesnt make sense logically for them to still think eris is the same as beron
This might sound hypercritical or conflictive but I’m not writing/don’t want to write Mor to be a bitch? I like Mor and while it might add to the angst and drama to have her be cruel to reader I just wouldn’t be able to commit to it 😭 In my mind it was Mor acting on the hurt reader has caused her and while it was unnecessary, emotions should be let out?
im sorry to say but mor was in fact a bitch but i get what you're saying like she's justified in her anger (in a way) but yeah trying to make someone who just attempted suicide feel bad about themselves is beyond bitchy. but im saying this as someone who doesn't really like mor most times (to me there's no depth to her character tbh like she was just there as the obligatory female friend for feyre, if you compare how developed cass and az are to mor... yeah she just falls flat idk if its bc cass and az will become the main characters in their books and mor might not get one or if its just not so great writing coming from miss maas once more)
Azriel calling Mor out??? After some of the things he’s said to reader????
i feel like this could be a good turning point though. like imagine azriel heard it and calls her out and has to admit not only to himself but out loud about all the shitty uncalles for comments he's thrown reader's way but even while admitting to it, deciding that he wants to be better to her and calling out mor on her bullshit is one way of doing it. also calling out mor is especially significant because of the whole he was in love with her for 500 years (i refuse to go with sjm's shitty ass "he loved her for 500 years and one day just stopped" bullshit - if she was a decent writer who cared a little more about character growth and plot instead of superficial romance tropes and smut she would write a whole book for azriel with no love interest but of him finding his own way and letting go of his love for mor that lasted for 500 fucking years before ever thinking of making him fall for someone else anyway i digress)
That would be so ooc of reader but I think it would be funny (in theory) for reader to suddenly do a 180° and act with them how she does around Eris and snap something smart and sassy back đŸ˜­đŸ€­
i hope the ic gets to see her being herself with eris though and realize they really dont know shit about her
But then also idk how much the ‘thinking loudly’ was amplified by Rhys and Feyre’s bond, so whether it would even apply to reader in that way?
honestly sjm refuses to explain anyone's powers or even how magic works atp so who knows
also i saw another ask of you going in on cc and i would like to join a little. i have to start by saying i havent read the books bc i didn't do anything wrong but from the bits I've seen her writing really has been going downhill and it shows the most in the cc books. i never thought she was an amazing writer tbh like acotar reads to me like a teenager book almost but with smut so it's supposed to be ya and if it wasnt for fanfic i wouldn't be here or even remember the books. i read the first one and already had to skim through some of it but then the 2nd one was a bit more promising, unfortunately the 3rd book was going downhill by the chapter, i dont even like to talk about acosf because how is that supposed to be a book about healing when everyone that's supposed to love nesta treats her like shit and most of it is just smut that does nothing at all for the plot. so im not surprised that not only has cc been having a lot of these critics but also that sjm doubled down on the smut in that book. i also heard some of the characters are kind of copy paste from acotar but again i havent read the books. i honestly dont even know if i'll read any other acotar book because they keep getting worse and whether elain ends up with az or lucien or az with gwyn or elain, i dont think sjm will be able to pull a good book out of it when there's this big mess between all of the characters i mentioned plus her insistence on making the ic act like assholes to each other, creating a found family to make it shitty is just dumb in my opinion, but i know for a fact im not gonna read any of the other sjm series (even though tog is supposed to be the best one) and even if i did i wouldnt touch the modern fantasy if it was the last book on earth tbh. technology ends up taking a lot of the magic out of fantasy and obviously im reading fantasy because i like magical aspects. one of the reasons the later books fell off for me too tbh, she started modernizing things too much (like leggings and cans of soup?? when there are no factories or anything?) like the spring court had so many fun magic things and then velaris was a city with clubs, the moonstone palace and the hewn city felt more magical at times than the court of dreams.
i also agree that one of the biggest problems with the later books is the amount of smut. i like smut as much as the next person and dont mind reading pwp but in fanfictions not in books i pay for and that are written by professional authors. sjm tries less and less to write good characters and to keep up a plot because she knows her fantasy books were one of the first of the "spicy fantasy romance" to become popular and she's not losing that place and smut sells so who cares about a good story? definitely not her.
and with the bryce thing you're absolutely right, from what i've read she acts like a petulant selfish child most of the time and correct me if i'm wrong but she's not supposed to be like 19 like feyre so she's a grown ass woman. and yeah i definitely think sjm made her plus size because again she got called out for having no diversity in her books but treats it really weirdly. im someone who may not be plus size but pretty close to it and the way sjm writes bryce definitely gives me weird vibes. what i've seen most and even some people talk about is that a lot of characters keep mentioning how they're attracted to bryce, like sjm doesnt expect us ymto believe bryce is really hot by the descriptions she's made unless she keeps reminding us that people wanna fuck her. idk it may just be a bit of my trauma reading into it
im sorry if this ran too long im a bit drunk apologies - đŸ§¶
Warnings: CC spoilers!, plus a little more slander, please consider looking away if you like the series! 🧡💛
‘when i say the ic has no way of knowing that eris isn't all bad i mean sjm keeps writing the story like that’
Right? Please miss Maas I want everyone to get along and be happy, let the drama between Eris and Mor be solved so that everyone can be happy and peaceful 😭
‘how am i suppose to believe that mor knows all truth or whatever her powers even are and that rhys is a mind reader, and azriel and amren are supposed to be able to read people so well, that azriel's shadows see things that others don't but they still think eris is as bad as beron.’
Also we’re kind of kept in the dark about specifics too? Mor’s just said to have ‘truth’ but what does that mean!! Can she force people to tell the truth? Can she see things in their true form?? Has she come out of the cave and seen the sun and the shadows it casts???? (Plato’s cave reference 😎)
Like I can understand to a degree why Rhys doesn’t look into people’s minds and appreciate that part of his character—that while he is morally greyish he has his own rules if that makes sense? He has his own perception of right and wrong which makes him interesting? But I might be confusing canon with fanon here đŸ«Ł
And yes I can see how miss Maas has written the IC to be flawed and Eris even says how Rhys is blinded by his love for his family so he has trouble seeing truths or discrepancies in those around him?
‘(i genuinely think sjm planned on making mor and eris mates or something but then people started calling her out on having no diversity and she made mor gay out of nowhere).’
Haha I hadn’t thought of it like that!
I’m still unsure what I’d choose between no representation vs. bad representation? On one hand it’s kind of disheartening/irritating to see sexuality used as such a cheap plot point? Unless miss Maas expands on it properly it’ll feel kind of useless to me? But then on the other hand representation is representation, like at least it’s becoming more prevalent in general media? I think another angle is some of the issues with acotar wouldn’t be as problematic as they are if the book series wasn’t so popular? But because it’s liked by so many people it’s also under much more intensive scrutiny when I don’t know if Miss Maas even planned for it to be taken so seriously as it is in some places? Not that the analysis is a bad thing, though, it’s interesting to see different things pointed out if I’d missed them the first time? (Particularly with Emerie and her descriptions of beauty? I hadn’t noticed it in the first read through but then saw some other people pointing it out, as well as other things?)
‘but he didn't actually hurt her (that was kier) and one look at the autumn court would be enough to tell them that mor would have been hurt even worse if beron had seen her so how did they not put 2 and 2 together.’
I suppose while Eris didn’t hurt her, Mor was in an extremely vulnerable position and the with Eris already being from the autumn court it would be easy to make the assumption that he would have inherited the beliefs in his father? Also with the saying of ‘if you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem’—I think that’s contextual, but for the sake of the point it’s making, I’m using it here—Eris didn’t do anything to help Mor that we know of, and also according to Mor’s narrative Eris said some cruel things, but then on the other hand since Eris hasn’t done or said anything exactly to contradict what Mor’s said so I’m not going to blame the IC for being protective and standing with her on what was likely an extremely traumatising moment for her? Honestly I guess it would be kind of weird and shitty if they doubted her to be honest 😭
‘im sorry to say but mor was in fact a bitch but i get what you're saying like she's justified in her anger (in a way)’
I expressed myself wrong, sorry 😭
Mor definitely said something bad, but I’m not going to write her in cbmthy to continue making horrid comments like that when nobody else is around, it was kind of a one-off thing so hopefully she won’t be a bitch in the rest of the story, just temporarily đŸ€­đŸ§ĄđŸ’›
‘yeah trying to make someone who just attempted suicide feel bad about themselves is beyond bitchy.’
Hard agree, I might even have to say it was a little uncalled for đŸ«ŁđŸ˜łđŸ«ą
‘to me there's no depth to her character tbh like she was just there as the obligatory female friend for feyre, if you compare how developed cass and az are to mor...’
I think in the books/canon she’s a bit contradictory? Maybe? With how harsh she is with Nesta and how gentle she is with Feyre? I can understand it I suppose, thinking of it through Mor’s perception, but it does sometimes feel like Mor was added just to be the one to add drama to the books? There might be something to say about how Mor and Amren are written as female characters as opposed to the batboys who we’re supposed to like and are romantic interests? Fanon Mor though đŸ§ĄđŸ’›đŸ«‚đŸ˜­
‘like imagine azriel heard it and calls her out and has to admit not only to himself but out loud about all the shitty uncalles for comments he's thrown reader's way’
Okay so this is something I (maybe unnecessarily? I’m genuinely not sure) want to stretch out for a bit and give it time so it doesn’t magically disappear? With Azriel facing some of the things he’s said to reader and why they were so hurtful to her? I think him knowing she tried to kill herself will speed things up, but only to a certain degree since there’s still a lot they don’t know about one another?
‘i refuse to go with sjm's shitty ass "he loved her for 500 years and one day just stopped" bullshit’
I guess one might be able to argue he was naturally coming out of it already but it there’s no evidence to really support that? I guess it would be difficult to implement it though due to the nature of where the story started and who it follows, but it would have made more sense in my opinion if we somehow got to see Az beginning to lose feelings for Mor, but because that would require something to be set before Feyre came along I guess it would be impossible 😭
‘i hope the ic gets to see her being herself with eris though and realize they really dont know shit about her’
They probably will, however reader is the one who intentionally or not does change how she acts around people? To a certain extent reader does try to act more ‘appropriately’ around them? Like she would never speak to Rhys the way she speaks sometimes to Eris 😭 Though I can imagine it might be funny if she accidentally did and then slapped her hand over her mouth because she hadn’t meant to 😭
‘i never thought she was an amazing writer tbh like acotar reads to me like a teenager book almost but with smut’
I was wondering, did you know anything about acotar before you started reading it? I went in blind since a friend recommended it to me, so I had no idea about how popular it was or anything, but I can see how if someone had heard how hyped up people were about it and then read it, it might fall flat and be super disappointing?
‘but also that sjm doubled down on the smut in that book.’
I know I feel quite strongly that Bryce and Hunt didn’t really have that much of an emotional connection compared to their physical one? Though to be fair I also love seeing emotional vulnerability so maybe it was just a difference in taste? If you’re someone who liked that kind of lust-fuelled romance that’s fine, but personally it wasn’t my cup of tea :/
It also felt like when Bryce and Hunt introduced that ‘no sex’ rule (I think maybe in CC2) it was Miss Maas realising she hadn’t built up and kind of tension between them and had jumped into sex way too quickly and so was trying to dial it back which irritated me? I skipped over I think all of the sex scenes in CC2 because I just wanted them to hurry along and get back to the plot? Also I feel like Miss Maas was trying to make them kind of freaky to appeal to the smutty side, like with the dry humping, the electricity (I think a vibrator might have also been used but I skimmed the scenes so I can’t remember) it was just too much for me when I wanted to read about what was happening and wasn’t interested in their relationship at all 😭
‘i honestly dont even know if i'll read any other acotar book because they keep getting worse’
I know I won’t be reading another CC book and will just wait for someone to very kindly write a summary for it, but I’m desperately hoping she won’t mess up another acotar book 😭
If she does though, isn’t it such a relief we have fanfiction? 😭
‘like the spring court had so many fun magic things and then velaris was a city with clubs, the moonstone palace and the hewn city felt more magical at times than the court of dreams.’
I absolutely adore that factor in fantasy books! I particularly like Holly Black’s version of fae, where they live off the land more and are much more tricky to deal with? More folklore-esque, and I wish we saw more of that kind of thing in acotar 😭 I agree the Spring Court with the will-o-wisps was so lovely—To Old Gods is one of my favourite pieces in that aspect and I want to write and read more of that kind of ancient/slightly mythical/sometimes eldritchy magic 😭
‘i also agree that one of the biggest problems with the later books is the amount of smut. i like smut as much as the next person and dont mind reading pwp but in fanfictions not in books i pay for and that are written by professional authors.’
I used to enjoy reading smut in books (I only started reading regularly and realising I enjoyed it in the past four years) because it was new and exciting but I think now if it’s in professionally written books I absolutely adore it and author has nailed emotional connection? And yes, pwp in fanfiction? Great! Love it! But the amount of smut in CC was unbelievable and I suppose that might be how you feel about acosf? I have to admit I liked it but I think it’s heavily to do with enjoying the characters 😭 Bryce and Hunt in CC? I don’t want to read about that, please spare my eyes 😭😞
‘so who cares about a good story? definitely not her.’
I think I disagree with you here? Maybe? I can’t remember the CC books in particularly great detail? 😭 I think actually for the most part I did find the plot parts a little slow, and Bryce and Hunt made it worse for me, however I loved the ending to CC2, and I enjoyed the asteri story but I think the power levels got out of control? (Don’t even get me started on how Bryce literally doesn’t earn her magic, it infuriates me so much!!! Feyre, Aelin, and Nesta all went through some kind of training and Bryce literally just touches a stone then inherits starlight and has the audacity to say she worked for it? Babes, no.)
And actually with miss Maas being lazy in writing—her using a pill so that Bryce can understand the acotar world was so obviously a deus ex machina. It was so cheap and basic there wasn’t a single amount of thought that went into it.
‘and correct me if i'm wrong but she's not supposed to be like 19 like feyre so she's a grown ass woman.’
Yup. She’s twenty-three 😐
‘what i've seen most and even some people talk about is that a lot of characters keep mentioning how they're attracted to bryce, like sjm doesnt expect us ymto believe bryce is really hot by the descriptions she's made unless she keeps reminding us that people wanna fuck her.’
Honestly that wasn’t that big of an issue for me? Like I get it’s fantasy so I can excuse every love interest and even some who aren’t being attracted to the fmc, but I did definitely have an issue with how lust-fuelled and physical it was đŸ˜¶â€đŸŒ«ïž
Like with Feyre and Tarquin it’s made clear they’re both attractive/beautiful people but I got the impression that ultimately they liked (?) one another for who they were? To an extent they had a kind of understanding and felt more honest?
‘idk it may just be a bit of my trauma reading into it’
Not sure how much it will help but I’m sending you internet hugs :/ đŸ«‚đŸ«‚đŸ«‚
‘im sorry if this ran too long im a bit drunk apologies - đŸ§¶â€™
Haha, don’t apologise it was fun getting to discus all these things with you!! 🧡💛
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once1upon1a1wonderland · 1 year ago
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I Wonder What Ramshackle Is Based Off Of..... Part 2
Okay, so back to the pictures....
(Still may contain Spoilers for book 6....)
Contin. with pictures of ramshackle after a good scrub down:
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And now finally, after the redesign:
(I know the bedroom is not really redesigned but rather just an image created by the magical projector, but I'm including it anyway.)
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Alright, so yeah ramshackle and the main school building have a lot of similar colors going on. Same with the library. Which I guess makes sense..... Anyways, my point with these posts are simply that; what if the only reason for ramshackle originally existing was simply to just have a place to house students while the other dorms were being built?
I agree that there are still some mysteries surrounding Ramshackle. Like, I don't entirely buy Crowleys reason that he gave for the dorm becoming abandoned in the first place..... And honestly dude.... why on earth did you let it fall to such disrepair......
But at any rate, perhaps ramshackle was just the temporary dorm at one point. After the dorms dedicated to the great 7 were finished, would ramshackle have still been in use? Maybe. It's possible..... and would ramshackle have had students assigned to it? Again, perhaps..... It's interesting to think about. Like, what if someone came to the school and didn't really match up enough with any of the great 7? What if they had a soul that could hold a little bit of each of the great 7? Like ramshackle could have been a place that was continued to be put to use for a time even after the other dorms were completed. And could have been used as a place where certain individuals represented all of the great 7 as a whole. (Considering that no one has been assigned to this dorm again for years, my guess would be maybe the dark mirror knows to not assign anyone there anymore.... I don't know.) Or maybe it was just the temporary dorm building. Still, it's fun to speculate.
Now our little building is just this abandoned place that no one goes near.... well except for Malleus. Hey, if you want a guaranteed spot to hang out and be alone where no one will find you, Ramshackle is perfect!
Anyways, there is the obvious elephant in the room that could point to what Ramshackle represents symbolically.
What about Mickey?
Well, I don't know the significance of that yet.... I don't know if he's there largely to just pay homage to the character that helped build the Disney company, or if there really will be a bigger reason as to why he's there in the mirror.... I mean I would hope so.... otherwise it would be too random.... (I swear if there is any information on him for book 7, DO NOT COMMENT IT, please. I want to go in blind when book 7 releases. I started the game blind and that's how I'll continue through it. When I first found out about this game I had only seen like two advertisements for it..... and it was teaser stuff. Well, one was a teaser. The other I believe was the main music video. At any rate, I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. Didn't know who the characters were or anything.... Yet somehow, I was intrigued. So please, I would appreciate no spoilers... I know, it's exciting to share stuff... I honestly dont know how I've actually managed to avoid seeing things on social media so far....)
Okay, tangent aside, the room that we sleep in with the mirror, is largely based off of an animated short called: Thru the Mirror.
I think a lot of people know that by now right? Either way, here are the comparison pics:
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Very reminiscent of the animated short. It's a nice homage to that animated short. Even if in the end story wise, Ramshackle doesn't represent Mickey Mouse directly, it's cool that they loosely base it off of him...
Actually, you know what? Maybe Ramshackle, or whatever the dorm used to be referred to as, is loosely based off of the mouse.... This is where the symbolic representation comes in. The story starts when the main character is brought into this world right? And then the dreams starting when we're getting close to someone overblotting and after spending that first night in the room..... So Actually, it's fitting that Ramshackle be based off of Mickey. After all, it was all started by a mouse.
And as a side note: Fitting that Pomefiore was the first dorm constructed. For Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, was the one that started them all. (Referring of course to it being the first of many feature length animated films to come.)
That's all I have to say about ramshackle for now. Let me know what you think about the significance of Ramshackle (unless it gives way to chapter 7 spoilers....)
But yeah, until next time!
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g-gurokisses · 8 months ago
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ive been okay !!! truly lots of changes :P .. i found someone that actually likes me as much as i like him lol. we spend all our time together,, we both get jealous when we hang out w our friends but its okay cuz we js call right after. its like finally i am not the only one doing the obsessing..
its so nice it doesnt even feel like im obsessed!!! cuz so is he :P. at first i thought it wld just fade on his end as it usually does, and then i thought id feel smothered and want him gone but.. its been like four months i think and were still the same.
the only thing i wld change is if i could just finally make it Oficial lol. but, im waiting for certain things to fall into place for that first. still cant wait tho :3
i like him so much.. i love him So much. its funny, ive never met someone so normal yet so weird. he gets everything i say but he doesnt get it like i do,, but he gets it in a way nobody ever has before. he gets me,, its like he knows me yk?. i hope we get far, i dont ever wanna be away from him.
– く⁠コ⁠:â ćœĄ
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Thank you for sharing this with me!!
Oh this is wonderful, just wonderful!! I'm so happy to hear that my dear! Success stories are always the best part of this blog! This truly warms my heart ♡
Doesn't it feel amazing to finally feel loved and understood, even when you thought you'd never get love? It's amazing!! And I hope anyone who reads this realizes that time and patience will get you far, everyone finds someone eventually!!
Frankly I also had my phase where I thought I was unlovable, or that relationships weren't for me. I even thought, for a moment, that friendships could replace relationships! People who have been following me for a while and read my posts a lot might remember that... Quite embarrassing when I look back now! Tehehehe~
Now of course, that might very much be the case for some, and there's nothing wrong with that, but for yearning and love-filled people like me that just doesn't cut it!
Now you know what it's like to have someone who genuinely loves you! Someone who needs you and is infatuated just like you! My dear beloved and I are often too much for the average person, but we're perfect for each other. I've never had someone be exactly what I wanted like that, and I'm guessing you feel the same!!
That is to say, I'm so happy for you!!! And I wish you both the absolute best, even tho I already know you're starting off by a great start!! I can sense this relationship will do wonders for you.
And for the rest of my dear lovely readers, don't give up! Know your worth, know how much your love is valuable and NEVER settle for someone who underappreciates you. Communication is key, but if you ever feel unwanted and unloved and talking doesn't work; Please, put yourself first. You don't owe anyone anything, and that inclues you too.
As someone who was stuck in a tiring and unreciprocated friendship for years, I regret not realizing how little that person cared about me.
Remember, the right person will never make you feel inadequate!!
But most importantly, remember that I LOVE YOU~ ♡♡
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makkozm · 1 year ago
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My symbol of hope, | SCARAGITO (scaramouche x nagito)
my sillies (contains crossover fandoms, cross fandom ships/crossover ships, i give up on capitalization at one part, ooc, long and doesn't make sense, and kind of has a bunch of fluff and uhmmm basically thats all the warnings if you dont like scaragito (why WOULDN'T you) uhh idk what you'll do but ??
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Scaramouche sat by himself, refusing to make any contact with anyone, other than talking to Aether and Lumine, and class trial purposes.
Although snarky, sometimes he's helpful in his own way. Sometimes. Everything that comes from his mouth is either an insult, or a push to the right direction.
So far, no one in the class had caught his gaze, save for one. Nagito's.. strange double sided luck. It's not everyday you see a human who can withstand such luck that both harms him, and keeps him alive.
Nagito.. he's a special case. It's both entertaining, and concerning how intense his luck can be. both his immense luck, and strange behavior that makes him incredibly worrying to be around.
"..Ah! hat guy, it's a pleasant coincidence that we meet here!" Nagito greeted, sitting down next to the indigo haired boy. "..Yeah, whatever," Scaramouche's demeanor does not seem very welcoming, but.. Nagito doesn't care, really.
"there's something I'd like to talk about, hat guy." Nagito smiled. Scaramouche felt.. a bit eased after seeing his smile. it was strangely.. comforting?
Scaramouche's usual scowl softens into a neutral expression. No smiling, but nor was he frowning.
"what is it? make it quick." Scaramouche crosses his arms, as Nagito leans onto the table, resting his cheek in his hands, "it's just that.. I've noticed, you always walk around like you're not afraid of this killing game we're in,"
"Like you're confident you'll survive. Is that because you know something that the rest of us don't?" Nagito narrows his eyes, as he stared deeply into Scaramouche's indigo eyes.
Scaramouche felt.. a bit weirded out by his staring, but decides to brush it off as he answered. "heh, if you think any of your mortal friends can lay a finger on a single strand of my hair - you're wrong." Scaramouche smirked, although the question did make him raise an eyebrow.
"I know more about myself than most of you all do," Scaramouche crossed his legs, "it'd be a shocker both to myself, and the twins if I manage to die here."
"oh.. so the twins are in on your secret as well?" Nagito questions, his usual smile remains, awaiting for Scaramouche's answer. "I guess you could say so. what about it?"
"I suppose it isn't a surprise, since you and the twins are from the same world.." Nagito looks to the side, as he places his hands on his lap to think a bit more clearly,
"but there's something strange I've noticed about you too, hat guy." Nagito smiled once again, as Scaramouche's frown comes back - rolling his eyes.
"it's Scaramouche. not hat guy." scaramouche corrects him, nagito raises his hands up defensively, "ahaha, sorry. 'hat guy' is what Aether introduced you to me as," nagito laughed off, with a smile.
..seriously? 'hat guy' was the best Aether could come up with? that's stupid. who does he think he is?
"okay, but back to what I was supposed to say.." nagito rests his arm on the table, setting his gaze back onto Scaramouche. "you're so.. special. your eyes, and those strange marks on your body.. "
..well that was a surprise, to say the least. not for the eyes, but for the marks on his body?
"..uh, okay. thanks for the first one, but what about the 2nd one? hah, who told you about that?" Scaramouche leaned forward, questioning Nagito's knowledge about him.
"hehe, relax. it's just something I noticed on my own." ..okay, was Nagito some sort of.. stalker? "pff, okay." Scaramouche leans away from him,
"am I given permission to ask about them, Scaramouche?" Nagito smiled innocently. Scaramouche gave it some thought, and after a bit of thinking.. why not? they're alone in the dining area, and Scaramouche would never meet Nagito ever again after this whole game.. no one would believe him if he dared to tell the secret.
"..hm, okay," Scaramouche uncrossed his legs, "so long as you promise to keep your useless mouth shut.. I'm willing to tell you about it."
"that's amazing! I can reassure you, this worthless human will keep his mouth shut, no doubt!" Nagito replies, excitement laced his tone, even his expression says it all. he was.. happy? what a strange one..
"These marks are permanent on my body. it's a part of me," Scaramouche places a hand near his abdomen, where one of the marks was most noticeable on. "and that's all I'll say."
"my, my.. you're such a special one! so many strange features.. it's almost as if you aren't a regular human!" Nagito exclaims, "your eyes.. how encaptivating," Nagito leaned forward, getting close,
"you're eyes fade from darkness to a bright light.. much like how hope shines light on despair's darkness!" Scaramouche.. was shocked by the analogy, to say the least. Him? Hope? who even thinks of that the moment someone sees him?
"..you must be crazy. have you seen the way I've treated everyone on your side?" Scaramouche raises an eyebrow,
"Even so, you still push us in the right direction, don't you? Even if you treat us harshly.. you still guide us to righteousness.." ..maybe Scaramouche hadn't thought of that, but wouldn't Aether be more fitting as a 'symbol of hope'?
"and the fact that you're not a regular human.. has the heaven above sent such an angel to assist us in a desperate time of need?" Nagito took Scaramouche's hands in his, "Aether may be a bright star, but I believe in you, Scaramouche.."
"you're my symbol of hope.. in my heart."
Those words.. struck through Scaramouche's heart. it was.. almost impossible to believe, that someone like Nagito would see him as a brighter source of hope than Aether was.
"..hah, you really are crazy," Scaramouche smiled, "I never thought someone like you would ever see me under such a light."
"As long as if it's the light of hope.. I see it within you. The way you've never given up through your hardship.. is truly admirable.." Nagito's eyes mimicked that of the brightness of hope, and the dimness of deep despair to swirl into circles into each other,
".. did Aether tell you about it as well?" Scaramouche had a scowl on his face, before Nagito shook his head. "Ahaha! No, it's a lucky guess."
"..I guess you were titled as the ultimate lucky student for a reason.." He mumbles, "what are you gonna do now? Now that you've dubbed me as your.. 'symbol of hope', or whatever?"
"of course, as a follower under the path of hope.. I shall stick by your side till my end!" Nagito smiled brightly. Scaramouche stares at him with a blank expression.
"..no you won't," He says, looking down from Nagito's eyes, ".. it's either you die here, or we'll never see each other ever again." His finger loosens against Nagito's, but he doesn't dare let Scaramouche's hands fall.
"Hmm.. maybe you're right. But it doesn't mean I can't imagine myself being with you.. and being with you through spirit.." Nagito trails off, before shaking his head.
"oh, what am i saying! A god like you wouldn't want an insignificant human such as I am following them around like a duckling.." Nagito goes back to his pessimistic thoughts, before Scaramouche squeezes his hands,
Scaramouche speaks in a loud voice, "As an ambassador of hope and my devoted follower, you must see your worth and uses. Don't tell me you'll keep on calling yourself useless while following under my steps?" ..fuck. he wasn't good at this at all. Were his words.. good enough? How was he supposed to comfort?
"..ahaha! of course! Look at you.. trying to shine your hope onto me as well.." Nagito smiled, the touching feeling that a deity was trying it's best to lift his spirits.. how cute!
"..gh, I'm not good in this sort of thing. I'll kill you if you laugh again." Scaramouche threatens, Nagito couldn't help but smile. "I don't mind getting killed by you.."
"you shouldn't be saying that."
"..alright, alright. Sorry," Nagito smiled sheepishly.
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