#so i don't even get a full 40 vacation hours

[erigold13261]

I have a suggestion! If you can’t answer asks, why don’t you just utilize some of the ideas in there without answering them? (If it’s more of an HC ask)

That's what I usually do. I make a headcanon and show it off only to forget that I got it from an ask months ago.

It's actually why I kept thinking Nepeta was super tall even before that second ask about her height came in. There's probably more but I can't think of them right now, I just got home from a shit last hour of work and have to do dishes while a bunch of drunk pieces of shits scream in the other room.

[nonotnolan]

The Ends Justify The Means

As always, this February story is dedicated to my valentine, @mergeman

"Okay, but did we have to add him to the Hivemind?" Jordan said, looking at his unconscious boss with a look of resigned disappointment. "If I end up with an old man's vocabulary because of him, I'm gonna be so upset. This body looks too good to sound like a geezer." He tossed his shirt to the ground and gave me a flex. "See what I mean?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Some humans stress-tested my 40% Free Will rule, and Jordan was definitely one of them. "One, bringing him into the Collective is the only way to bend his authority to our will. Two, the symbiote doesn't change our speech, it just enhances our knowledge. And three, the eventual goal is to overtake most of humanity anyway. We were gonna have to add Shaun sooner or later."

Jordan nodded, though I doubted he was paying any attention me. He was one of the part-time workers I had converted within the past two hours, and so his symbiote half was still checking out his new body. I can't blame it, I suppose.

I wasn't sure this plan was even going to work, so I was glad we managed to succeed. Capturing the part-time college students who worked here had been easy-- a bit of flirting from a tempting body, a kiss to introduce the symbiote, rinse and repeat. Shaun had been much more difficult. We had to resort to ambushing him in the bathroom where there we no cameras. Jordan's strength held him in place while I pried open his jaw to insert the new symbiote. It was far from elegant-- Shaun was stronger than he looked-- but at least it worked.

Shaun finally opened his eyes, and looked at me with a wry grin. "Alright, sir. I know we have a lot to talk about, but let's retreat somewhere else, shall we? It's cramped in here, and I think Jordan is a few moments away from whipping his dick out."

"You're not wrong," I said, shaking my head. "We should probably leave him to it. If nothing else, it will be nice to talk things over someplace a bit... less pungent. I assume you know what is going to be expected of you?"

"I do," Shaun says, crossing his arms. "Although I was hoping to talk to you about that one. I scheduled Darren to work Valentine's Day because I haven't had that day off for the past three years. This body's wife is threatening to make life miserable if I still have to work the holiday despite my recent promotion. I have a proposal for you."

I smiled at the audacity of this symbiote. Clearly its host body had a lot of confidence.

"Darren will still get the day off, of course," Shaun said. "But instead of working the day myself, I'll just tell Jenn that she's going to have to handle the shift solo. We don't need two store managers tomorrow night-- no one goes furniture shopping on Valentine's."

----------------------------------------------

"You'll never guess what happened today!" Darren said, greeting me when I arrived home. He and I had been dating for a few weeks now, ever since I was granted control over this host body. Unlike the symbiotes who were mostly extensions of my mind and my personality, I had full control and full autonomy over my decisions. Coming out of the closet was one of the first changes I made to this host's former life.

"Your store is actually closing for a holiday?" I guessed, walking up to him and hugging him from behind. I held him close, feeling the heat of his body against my borrowed chest. Humans were very big on physical contact, and it was a ritual I was more than happy to join.

Darren chuckled as he turned around for a quick kiss. "Okay, so it wasn't a miracle. But it was still pretty crazy! Shaun texted me, and approved my vacation time for tomorrow. Can you believe that? I've never known him to change his mind like that before."

I just smiled at him. "Maybe your District Manager yelled at him about it? You did submit that request a few months ago." As much as I hated feeding white lies and omitted facts to my boyfriend, I couldn't justify telling him my full truth this early in the relationship. Anyway, the only way I'd be filling him with a symbiote would be if we broke up and he posed a risk to my secret. I wanted a relationship with an equal, not a masturbatory fling with a clone of myself. Anyway, what was the phrase? The ends justify the means.

"Well, maybe." He paused a few minutes to consider this possibility before shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know, and I'm not going to question it. I'm just glad you kept those dinner reservations! I'm looking forward to tomorrow's date!" He smiled, and I could feel my heart melting. I would do anything in my power to make him happy.

[twilightknight17]

When I say to my dad, "I am anxious about being out of the house all day, all week, and not having time for my hobbies", and he responds with "Unfortunately that's how the world works", I know what he means.

Yes, I know I need a job and money to function.

Yes, I know full time jobs are 40 hours per week.

However, in my stupid anxiety-riddled brain, what actually gets through is, Yeah, you won't have time, but there's nothing to be done. Get used to it.

And when I just stare at him, he asks what answer I want instead.

I don't know. Maybe any crumb of reassurance that having a full-time job doesn't actually fuck up everything else that I actually like to do?

Hell, today I have put up a draft chapter for a fic, worked on crocheting a blanket for a friend's wife because she's having a baby, and helped Dad wash the cars. If I had work I wouldn't even be home yet.

I could be really mean and say that they don't get it because they don't have hobbies where they invest a bunch of time. They don't go on vacation. I can barely get Mom to take time to sit down and read a book, and she only works part-time! So they're not exactly shining role models of how everything is going to be fine and I'm worrying for nothing.

The only reason this conversation was even happening was because Dad mentioned that Friend and his Wife really liked the framed, decorated version of their wedding invitation that me and Mom did for them, and I made a comment about how I was glad they liked it, and I'd rather be doing something like that.

Dad said, "You could start a side hustle."

And that was when I mentioned that no, I really couldn't when I was already anxious about not having time for my hobbies. Why would I want to add something else on top of that??

Side hustle. God. I'm not competing against fifty thousand other people all trying to do the same thing. Talk about stressing myself out. Same with my mom going, "Oh, if you don't like your new job, you can just start looking for a new one." Yes, because if I'm coming home from a long day of work, the thing I want to spend my time on is the second-most frustrating activity I have ever had to do in my life. Sure.

I don't know what the answer is. I'm probably acting like a moron because I haven't even started this job yet. It's just infuriating to think that no one takes your worries seriously because "Oh well, that's how things are."

Least helpful response on the planet. Right up there with "It could be worse".

[foster-the-world]

Ready

Ready for the weekend. I put in some overtime this week so I already felt like yesterday was Friday. Working hard to accumulate 40 hours so I can take the girls on a fun vacation next summer.

Wishing we had off work so we could be at home enjoying our children instead of paying a lot of money for a sitter. He's going to take them to see Wild Robot today. I wanted to see it but we can go again if they like it. All day alone with all three is tough so I'm glad they have something to do. We also left out the girls bike/baby boys scooter.

I'm getting my hair done tmrw. Alone time = wonderful. Sunday the girls and my husband are going to a cool museum. His cousin got them tickets for Bee's bday. I'm thinking I'll take baby boy somewhere fun outside. We are both scheduled to get the Covid/Flu shot on Sunday night. Bee has an annual physical on Tuesday. We called to see if she could get the Covid shot. They said they won't know until the day off. =Annoying.

We are checking in with the doctor about Bee still wearing a diaper at night. The internet and past visits tell me no one worries until 12yos. She just turned 8. We assumed eventually the problem would disappear but it has not. She has had constipation issues in the past. We have recently started having her stop drinking an hour before bedtime, go to the bathroom right before and then my husband has her go again around 11pm. Her diapers are still full. She doesn't seem bothered. I'd totally leave it alone if it wasn't for sleepaway camp. I didn't even think about it when we signed up. We may try the drug to see if it works. I think we would only do it for camp and a test run beforehand. The internet tells me some kids are able to put a diaper on right before bed without anyone noticing. Not sure we want her to do have to feel like she has to hide. But also don't want kids making fun of her. Let's see what the doctor says.

I've been listening to the ADHD Dude podcast. Personally, I think I am more into their philosophy then the idea of "kids do well when they can, don't force kids, plan C everything for as long as needed" philosophies. The two can come off as obnoxious know it all's but when I get past that I think their authoritative/loving parenting style fits more with my personal ideas. Maybe its a Midwestern thing - my parents were def a little tough but extremely loving with us. I believe it has served me well. I def find the balance really difficult - especially with baby boy who has some very real challenges. But for now I'd like to have high expectations for all three of them. They don't believe in PDA at all. They believe the social media PDA people are preying off parents who are seeking any answer. Baby boy doesn't present with those PDA symptoms so luckily I don't have to worry about it. At least not, yet. He will completely ignore our request but he's not very oppositional. They also brush off sensory processing disorder. Or rather it as a stand alone diagnosis. They say its just a part of autism or ADHD. Which I can agree with.

After a rough month with him he's now been doing really well. Although he has been fighting sleep at night. I assume getting back to the normal school schedule is good for him. We've been running the track most nights. He zooms past so many people. I started putting the cones out - so he can jump over them.

[millionancientbees]

a very long list of things to be thankful for

being overly sincere is my curse but god sometimes i am just so thankful for the big and small ways people show up for me.

my friend cassidy lets me borrow their car--sometimes for weeks at a time--while they're out of town, even though I literally just hit the one year anniversary of having my license this week. it blows me away literally every time and is so incredibly kind because it means i don't have to carefully plan around my roommates to do the things i want and need to do, which always makes me feel very frustrated and trapped because i'm 29 and have never been able to just....get in the car and go without having to check with other people first. but i get to do that with their car, and it refills my tolerance and makes me feel hopeful and free. they also bought me pirate bugs to help me deal with my thrip infestation and they offered to help me replace any plants i had to get rid of, even though they were the one who gifted all of them to me in the first place and taught me how to take care of them and to trust myself to keep something alive.

my friend chris spent like six months driving 40 minutes to my house, giving me several hours of driving training, and then driving home. sometimes several times a week. they're a paramedic and have a very busy life and they still made that time for me because they knew i needed to be able to get around. and then they drove me an hour to my hometown to make me to my test because i was too nervous to test near where we live on account of having way more experience driving where i'm from. also they just?? do things?? like they went to two different places the other day to buy me a vape. and they made me a pizza and when they didn't have toppings i wanted they just...put on their shoes and went to kroger??? and got them?? i have to prepare to go to kroger for like four days and forget half of the things i wanted. i was blown away.

my friend lavender gets me a huge bag of salted cashews every time they go to whole foods because they know i'll forget to eat enough salt and protein and get dizzy if i don't have enough easy foods. they asked chris to tighten the toilet seat when i was going to be staying there for thirteen days, knowing that i don't trust most surfaces i'm sitting on and am always afraid of shifting wrong and breaking something. they took me on the first vacation i'd been on in years and specifically planned around my size and disabilities. they always want to spend time with me and are perfectly happy to just sit and listen while i talk about random shit and they think i'm a good friend and tell me all the time despite the fact that i am very hard to get ahold of and almost never respond to things.

my sister, knowing i was going to get a haircut i couldn't really afford, messaged our hairdresser and told them she was going to pay for it and didn't even tell me. she talks to me on the phone for hours at a time several times a week and texts me memes about things i like even if she doesn't know a thing about the fandom because she knows it'll make me smile. i can call her and launch into a 45 minute full detail run down of a book i'm reading and she'll just listen and crack jokes. she understands all of my references and she knows i have to get a new toothbrush every christmas or i'll cry so she always gets me one. she drives me around my own town and points out all the cool places i'd never notice on my own and then bullies me into going to them. she takes me to the art store and will spend an hour just looking at everything with me, even though we don't need art supplies and have seen everything fifty times before.

when my childhood best friend's mom found out i was having surgery she told me to call her and let her know if i wanted anything, even taco bell delivery, and she'd get it for me. sometimes i call her and she calls me her daughter (i cry every time) and she asks about my relationships and clapped when i told her i was going back to school.

my roommate asks me if i want to go with him every time he goes to the craft store because he knows i like to touch all the fabric and ogle all of the goods.

i posted a catty, passive-aggressive status the other day and when my friend found out what it was about she asked if in the future i should call her and get it out of my system or practice what i want to say to the person instead. and i was unrepentant and said sometimes i want to be mean and i meant what i said but that i was thankful that she cares about me growing as a person and living my own values and that even if i wasn't sorry this time she was right to say what she did and she said "of course, i know you'll always listen to me. I know you." she calls me while she's working on the farm and laughs with me. she once gave me a bag full of strawberry starters that were on their last legs and said "I want to see you happy" and even though the plants didn't survive I will never forget that gesture.

lake brings me food when they eat because they know i won't eat if someone doesn't remind me. they take care of my cats when i can't make it down the stairs and they watch the silly shows i want to watch just because i rarely express interest in things like that. they read my favourite book series just to be able to understand why i cared about it so much. they make me use an ice pack when i would never do so on my own and they spent two years driving me everywhere i needed to go before i got my license.

when their gramma was still alive and needed another caretaker, their mom said "I can't think of anyone I'd rather have taking care of her than Cheyenne" and she used to sit out on the porch and smoke cigarettes with me. she invited me over for the first mother's day without my mom and fed me dinner.

anderson notices when i stop responding in the group chat for more than a few days and always messages me to ask if i'm okay. they let me lead them through barnes and noble and point at all of the books i'd read and say what i liked or hated about them and watched dungeon meshi with me and cuddled me just because.

i have new friends who remind me to do my pt and care about me and send me memes and art they think i'll like. they stay up late talking about books and games with me and have helped me get two incredibly important things to manage my disabilities that i would not have been able to afford on my own.

everyone is so nice to me and i do not know what i do to deserve it. but i am very thankful and i am very known.

[nancypullen]

Beautiful Day

It's Friday and I woke up to a message that the library would be closed due to inclement weather. How's that for a good morning? My day off has been quiet and beautiful. Here's a peek out my back door.

I pulled on some boots and tromped out to the bird feeder to make sure it was full, then I left corn for the squirrels and a pan of extra seed for our feathered friends. It's been snowing all day and my view from every window is absolutely lovely.

I measured the snow on the back porch railing this afternoon.

Nearly 5 inches when I snapped that! I can't express how happy it makes me.

In other news, I started the new job on Tuesday (Monday was MLK Day, so the library was closed). I'm cautiously optimistic. The people I work with are some of the nicest I've ever met. Interestingly enough, they're almost all from out of town. Some are from Cambridge, about 45 minutes away, some are driving in from towns in Delaware, one gal even comes all the way from Dover every day - an hour away! My commute is about 4 minutes if I hit a red light. I suppose I found it interesting that they all travel in because I haven't found Denton to be a very friendly town. Guess they have to import nice people. Aren't I lucky that I get to work with them? The job itself has potential. A great deal of it is already familiar to me from my years working in a high school library, but there's a lot that is new and different too. Here are a few things I found to be different. Part of my job will be checking bathrooms and stairwells for people who may be ODing, sleeping, or *ahem* other activities. I'm not saying we didn't find students doing naughty things in stairwells on occasion, but one quick call to the principal usually took care of that. When I have to walk around and lock up at night I'm not sure what I'll do if I look under a set of stairs and make eye contact with someone. I'm not exactly intimidating. As for drug users, because it has happened often enough in the past, there is narcan on site. I haven't been trained to use that, I'm assuming someone else has been - I'll just dial 911. Also, check-in protocol includes checking all returned materials for bed bugs because that's been an issue in the past.

It certainly makes sense - you don't want to send someone else home with that book and infest their home or, good grief, infest the library. Every one of these practices is common sense and meant to protect the public as well as the library - but they weren't on my radar. There's also a "stink box" for materials that come back with any sort of offensive odor. They're put in the locking stink box with some sort of OdoRocks that absorb smells and take a few days vacation from circulation. So if you check out a book from the library that doesn't stink, you're welcome. So, the people are nice, the job is interesting enough, and it's close to home. All good things. But (and you knew there was a but) I'm working about 30 hours a week, so that makes me a part-time employee. I'll accrue 6 hours of sick leave per month, but no sort of vacation or personal leave. Mickey wants to take a big trip this fall for our 40th anniversary....Nancy won't have any leave...I hope they don't make me choose. I'd be happy to take unpaid leave though I'm hearing that's not really a thing there. Rut roh. I mean, it's just week one and I'm already missing my freedom. Right now the pros far outweigh the cons. The difference is that I'm not 20, 30, 40, or even 50, hustling to feed the family or pay the bills. The extra income is great, but in this season of my life it has to be more than that. I pursued this job as a way to meet people, make friends, have a purpose, and feel useful. If it takes from me more than it gives, well...

Does that seem negative? I truly don't mean it that way or feel that way. I guess that's what I meant by "cautiously optimistic". I have high hopes but I'm not afraid to cut my losses. I'm lucky I can even entertain that thought. Oh well, the mister is waiting for me to start his dinner. I suppose I'd better stir something up and throw it at him. The snow is still falling and I'm going to enjoy this cozy evening so much. I hope that you're doing the same. Put on your fuzzy socks, get under a blanket, and watch a good movie. Get lost in a book while sipping hot cocoa or tea. Soak in a bubble bath and slip right into your warmest jammies. Mmmm, that's comfort. Getcha' some. Stay safe, stay well, stay warm. XOXO, Nancy

[darlenealive]

Back from my Scandi vacation!

Felt like I took it for granted leaving my brain back in SG and letting Ax do the planning and the navigating. I brought my spirits though! Spending my day off today looking back at the trip which was such a great use of my time. Really appreciating this extra day off after my vacation.

Some tips for Norway and Denmark travels first

1. It's cashless even in the small towns. Cash was more of a liability as it forced us to spend it all

2. Hotels cost as much as Airbnb for 2 pax so opt for hotels as there's guaranteed shampoo, soap, hair dryer, heating and laundry. Most of our airbnbs were missing soap or shampoo which we didn't bring any of, in order to travel lighter. The bnbs we stayed in were also commercialised houses so there's absolutely no feelings attached. Checking in and out would also be more convenient with hotels. We had to return one of our keys from a convenience store which wasn't open in the early morning, in time for our flight.

3. Groceries are marked down on Friday if they expire Monday. If you're in Norway, go to Kiwi or Coop for basic groceries as it seemed to be the cheapest. However, each shop will hv their own discounts (not standardised across the same chain). Eg. We went to a place with 40% discounts on Freia choc which was only available at a particular store.

4. Northern lights chase was the coldest we experienced. Basically, the guide said that if its frost on the floor, it's worse than snow as there's no insulation for your feet. Not the coldest real temperature but coldest we felt. Bring extra clothes and heatpack just in case. The bonfire didn't do anything for me because it's too cold. We went with GuideGunnar which updates its aurora sightings on a daily basis. These guys are crazy and would bring you as far as Sweden just to chase the lights so bring your passports along! They also offer a 50% off the next trip if you don't see it on the day.

5. There's no heat packs there so bring them from home.

6. In Copenhagen, we recommend the Copenhagen card. It's only 65USD for 24hrs and you get free transport, museum pass and boat rides. We only decided to get the card after our boat ride which cost about SGD25-30, which was already a quarter the cost of the card. In Copenhagen, checking of bus tickets was a regular thing.

7. Useful apps for riding public transport: Oslo uses Ruter, Tromsø uses Troms billet, Copenhagen uses Dot tickets. Ticket checking was not very often in Norway. We did not cycle as it felt too cold for more wind to hit our faces.

8. Skip Oslo if you dw to visit a city. We spent 3 nights there and it felt too long. We wanted to do our last minute shopping at Oslo but everything was expensive throughout the whole trip that we started to buy souvenirs earlier when we saw marked down prices. With one more day in Tromsø, we could've gone whale watching.

9. Take into account daylight savings from 29/10. You have 1 more extra hour to sleep but your days are much shorter. We slept a lot because of the cold, about 10hrs of sleep each day and it felt just right.

10. Personally I would have brought instant noodles as the food there isn't flavoured with the same umami as I'm used to. I would also bring a thermal flask there to enjoy my hikes even more, taking a comfortable and warm rest at the peak.

11. If driving, please remember to pay for parking. There's usually a machine to start your parking. Otherwise, the fine is 660NOK. Don't let the rental company settle it as it'll still be billed to you with an extra fee. We would also recommend full insurance since we aren't used to left hand driving and Norway is famous for its narrow roads (at least from Stavanger to Odda where we drove).

12. We used waze for driving and it seemed that speed cameras are only in tunnels but nobody was following the speed limit anyway.

That's about all of the suggestions Ax and I thought of!

Hope these suggestions come in useful for someone.

[cosmicretreat]

When I worked at Hollywood Video, around 1998 to 2001, I went above and beyond and did a *lot* of extra work. I had to work on Thanksgiving while I was in the early stages of bronchitis once. The store was in a really well-off, rich part of town. I was doing 40+ hours a week, still part-time, no extra pay and no vacation or sick days. I once overheard my district manager saying that for such a nice area, it was too bad that we had such fat and ugly people, like me and others, at the front of the house. (She embezzled money from Hollywood Video, as it later turned out she had previously done as a district manager for Blockbuster.) I was doing the work of an assistant manager at a location that was having trouble keeping a real assistant manager because the good ones figured out it was hell and moved on, and the bad ones always ended up being criminals. The final straw for me was when a nearby location lost their manager, and the district manager's big idea was for their new manager to somehow be the manager of both that store *and* ours. I knew they thought I wasn't loyal or corporate enough, but I was the guy who always did the new release wall and was holding the place together. The manager wanted to speak to me, and I surmised she wanted me to run the place for a while and then they would find a reason to get rid of me when they could hire a real assistant manager (we didn't even have one at the time), so I just quit on the spot.

My reward for gutting it out for years under abusive management that would not promote me to full time despite keeping that place from falling apart? Absolutely nothing. I got to borrow videos for free for those years and that was pretty much the only perk.

Never bother to go above and beyond. The corporate mindset is to dangle rewards you will never receive to get a few more weeks' work out of you, and to undermine you at every turn, including making you feel like you're weak if you won't give up more time, more health, more of your life so they can make that extra couple of bucks at the end of the night.

I worked in the location that had the offices of all the district managers in the region, plus our condescending asshole of a regional manager. I worked until one in the morning. Never saw any of those assholes stay past 5PM.

Never go above and beyond. They don't deserve it. You are selling your time and your labor. Make them pay for it.

[adaginy]

When I started working in newspapers, a pretty standard shift would be something like 4 to midnight. The earliest shift started at 10:30 a.m., but there was only one of them and barring vacations it was assigned to the same person always who didn't mind it. (I once got scheduled for it immediately after the latest shift, so back in the office at 10:30 after working to 2:30 a.m. the night before [and a 40 min commute], and as soon as the boss came in and saw me and realized what had happened he apologized profusely and offered to make a starbucks run for me, his treat.)

Now, it's 12 p.m. to 8 p.m. Some are earlier. Very few are later. Technically it's because of newspaper industry consolidation/centralization -- instead of maintaining a billion printers at like 10% of capacity, run fewer printers at 90%+ capacity... so your paper's printer might actually be hours away. So deadline has to be early enough enough that they can be printed, driven over, and handed off to paper carriers to be on your doorstep by 7am.

BUT even papers that are right on top of their printers have much earlier deadlines and shifts. Because everyone is in the office (figurative office, we're almost all WFH) earlier for the distant papers, and then once those are done they can do the close-by papers, so those shifts can't be unreasonably late. Because who wants to work until 10 p.m. or whatever, amirite? Gosh, getting into the office past noon, what kind of lazy ass wants that.

Certainly not a whole industry full of people who looked at shifts that averaged 4-midnight and went "I have found My People".

I'd compare it the way, like, everyone gets Easter and Christmas off. Even if you don't care. Even if you don't want those days off, because you don't get holiday pay. Even if other days off would be more convenient and relevant. Or maybe you do work Christmas but everyone gets a holiday PTO day -- that you have to use within 2 weeks before/after Christmas, even though your holiday is 3 weeks out. Oh I've never heard of that holiday, can you explain it? Wow your people have a lot of holidays you need time off for [not any more than you, just at a different time]. Everyone gets 5pm to 8am off. Even if those aren't the hours that work for your sleep schedule. Even if you need time off between 8am and 5 instead. Why are you so lazy. Why do you like to sleep in. Why do you hate mornings. What do you mean 'getting up early' it's only 7am that's when everyone wakes up.

Ok wait let her speak

[mystomachfeelsawful]

3:40

When I remember this year, it's not the triumphs or the wins, it's the oops and the silly mistakes. The weird moments in between when something I thought was supposed to happen happened, but not in the way I expected it to.

Cockfight and Woking went up - two projects that have occupied my heart and head for a while (heartspace with Cockfight and physical time space with Woking). I travelled for work a lot, went back to the east coast for a workshop, did a full season of casting at Stratty. I went to New York on a spontaneous holiday to see a lot of plays.

But these aren't the things I remember the most. Those are here:

1 - I evicted my roommate of one and a half years. Tiffany and I have had tension almost immediately since she moved in. Our communication styles weren't sympatico from the beginning (she was a passive aggressive introvert with a noise sensitivity and a bitter personality, I'm an extrovert with no issue with noise with a bitter personality that I hide behind layers of false confidence), but I held onto living with her because I knew she was leaving in March. I felt that if I just endured the bad thing it would go away - very Chinese. Our relationship hit a tipping point when I closed the door to what she decreed as too loudly in January and she started knocking on my door and swearing. Rather than endure two months more of her, I requested that she leave the next day. I took a bit of an L for this - I paid for her accomodations and her movers and had to find her a place that suited her needs (thank you Maddie), but I think this is the thing I was the most proud of this year. Someone was harming me and - rather than do what I always do and assume that I have to accommodate them as I've been raised - I confronted her about it and removed her from my life. I want to do more of this in the future. I think I yield a lot when something is bothering me because I'm afraid of seeming selfish. I want to be even more selfish in the future and have more confrontations. My home feels like a safe place to live for the first time since she moved in.

2 - In June, I found out we'd won the Audience Choice Dora for Woking Phoenix. I found this out at Fu-GEN's kitchen event (which was hilariously happening at the same time as the Doras) and was told there were tickets for the after party. I was over the moon and ran over to the Winter Garden to see if I could get in. I remember showing the security guard my phone with the award on it and being like "i want to buy tickets to the after party" and promptly being told that I couldn't get in. People tried giving me their tickets and I couldn't get in. So rather than go inside and feel celebrated for winning a silly trophy, I waited outside in what my girlfriend describes as "loser behaviour" for 2 hours saying hi to people as they waited for cabs and ubers. I don't know what the lesson is from this, but it was a wonderfully humbling experience that as per usual reminded me that awards are temporary and humiliation is forever. And it sort of reminded me of my own career - begging to be let into buildings that people were exiting. Thank you for voting for Woking Phoenix though - seriously. This instagram account only speaks for me (as it's mine), but after 5 years of working on the project, winning grants and finally doing the thing - it felt vindicating for the community to have the project's back the same way you all did during the run.

3 - During Annie auditions, my nose bled for 30-45 minutes and then proceeded to erupt on the stratford bus home. I bled for another hour on the bus, over my clothes and on my hands. I did not bleed in front of the children (thank god), but I really need to get this fixed. Camille did not help me on this trip and took a nap.

4 - I know I said I wouldn't talk about the blanket good stuff, but going to New York this year as a knee jerk decision in October felt really fulfilling. Doing a spontaneous vacation as a kind of reward for all the stuff that happened this year, running through Chinatown, putting in 20000 steps as Luke birdwatched felt right. Also seeing theatre outside Ontario. I feel I really grew during this trip and felt artistically inspired in ways I hadn't in a long long time.

5 - In the midst of a year of so much theatre and things that were arguably achievements of mine, I find myself learning the most about what I'm unable to do as a artist at this point in my career. What my own blindspots are. I don't say this as a derogatory, but I think I want to get better. I keep giving direction like "don't push", but what does "Push" actually mean? What does rigour actually mean? What does following an intention to the end of the line actually mean? Am I giving too many notes? Am I giving too few notes? How can I be clearer to designers? What actually makes acting/production/choreography good in my eyes - in understandable words? What is a strong vision? I think this year made me start to see the limits of my own ability to articulate things in clarity - that even if my teams believe it, do I actually believe or understand what I'm saying? Is my desire to keep working with fans who are excited to work with me in part me avoiding clarity with working with strangers who don't understand me, share my sense of humor or don't understand my vision? I'm going to spend 2025 training and working on my craft. I want to enter 2026 a stronger theatre artist than I am now.

I SAW 55 PLAYS THIS YEAR. I LOVED

Sunset Blvd

The Inheritance Part 1 and 2

The Hills of California

Salesman in China

The Diviners

Rat Academy

My favourite video game of the year was Final Fantasy VII Rebirth - a game that I played over the span of 8 months and never felt bored by because I took my damn time.

My favourite movie of the year was Look Back.

I want to have a 2025 where I pick fights, where I don't feel shy, where I participate openly and question everything I do in how specific I can be. I don't want to waffle or suffer in silence. I want to prioritize learning and growing and let my own hunger and curiosity shape my year rather than being shy and waiting for permission.

NOW BACK TO G1 STUDYIN

[gay-kurapika]

Okay anyway, I hate my shit fucking job and the next time someone tells me to be patient I'm going to go tell them to go fuck themselves. Why do I have to work there for 2 years before I'm going to get vacation time? That's fucking bullshit it's supposed to be 6 months, I should have already started accruing it, I literally don't care if we're moving to a new store in July I will still have been working for this company for a year at that point and should have goddammit at least one fucking paid day off??????? And I'm sick of this 31 hours bullshit, I've been promised 40 from the beginning, and have never gotten it. I am supposed to be full time, if you can't give me full time I'm switching departments full stop. Fuck you people. Fuck all of you. Why don't I have insurance??? Why haven't I even accrued an UNPAID personal day so I don't have to work on my fucking birthday? And Kira was over there bitching about how i never make a cardboard bale to my fucking face and that cunt is lucky I didn't punch her in the throat. I'm the lowest paid employee in this room on top of having no benefits, fuck you and stop crying about having to do your fucking job as the manager, I'm doing frankly more than I'm paid to do already. And that's the key isn't it? From here on out you people are getting zero fucking effort. I'm here for the paycheck only. I'll be hiding in the bathroom on my phone whenever I can get away with it. Suck my cock fuckers, I hope you all die

[mangodestroyer]

I'm really not sure how people can stand working 40 hours at a job they aren't passionate about (lots of people I know pretend to love their job but some of these people, especially the ones in retail, I can tell hate it deep down). That's 40 hours of your week. Doing something you probably hate. Every week of the year (or most but you sometimes don't get vacation days).

And the thing is? Tons of people end up working jobs they hate. It's hard to get jobs that are actually fun, with good work conditions and everything. Many people need at least full time hours to survive. 40 hours a week is exhausting by itself. Working more than that is just dreadful.

For a while, I went to school full-time while working. I basically ended up doing both of these things 60-80 hours a week. I felt like a zombie. It felt like the passage of time didn't even exist. Weird example, but one day, I would start that time of the month. And then I blinked and I realized that I was starting it again. Because a month had passed and I didn't even notice. It was annoying because I literally felt like I JUST HAD IT. I can hardly even remember anything from that span of time because I was so stressed. I ended up with some stomach issues too. It wasn't uncommon for me to lose my lunch. And one day I woke up with horrible nausea that lasted an entire week. The first day this was happening, I literally could NOT stop vomiting. It was a little painful. And any time I thought of food, I would vividly imagine the taste of cilantro (cilantro is so metallicy and soapy to me that I literally thought someone tampered with my food the first time I had it). Yeah, this was not fun. I was burnt out for the longest time after that. It probably didn't help that the stress was causing me to shovel down excessive amounts of junk food.

And this doesn't include stuff like commute, hygiene, meals, and chores. Nor does this include social obligations or appointments.

And yet there are people out there who manage to lead very busy lives, and still have time to raise kids, have friends, date someone, have hobbies, take classes... yeah this isn't me. Even full-time, and nothing but full-time hours, wears me out. It was full-time retail, sure, but I still don't keep that up for long. I'm doing alright on 20 hour weeks. I used to be able to do part time work with part time school, but my mental health has gotten so bad now (maybe I'll feel differently, now that I've been able to restock on weed; I've been spending the last few months taking so little of it because I was nearly out and couldn't afford more, and I've forgotten how unproductive, anxious, and miserable I can be without it).

Sometimes, I would wonder if I was just insanely lazy, or maybe my communication disorder is actually autism and I have executive functioning issues. But then I see all these studies about how the modern world may be the source of many mental health issues. And that people do much better with 30 hour weeks. So maybe I'm not 100% the problem. I wish we'd get on board with this already.

[hightowered]

i'm going to take this in good faith and assume that everything here is said with the genuine belief that it's accurate. so let's break it down:

i want to know, genuinely, where you're getting "a few hundred thousand dollars" from youtube. genuinely, i'd like to see this source. because assuming that every single person who watches these videos is watching the ads (meaning, not watching the early releases, not someone with an ad blocker) - from what i can tell "around $0.018 per view" seems to be the most common take on this. to get $300,000 from youtube revenue, then, we're looking at more than 16.6 million views.

now we need to factor in the cost of various parts of running a business. i work in a small business and am close to the owner, so i help handle some of the bills, and for a small, singular space, we have to worry about: rent, electric, heating and cooling, water prices, the maintenance fees leveraged by the landlord; employment insurance, disability insurance, taxes, liability insurance, social security; internet, phone lines; if parking isn't included, then that's a separate fee. not to mention the pay for each employee. now, when we factor in that this is media, that means that the computers each employee uses needs to be able to handle video editing without crashing. they need reliable and fast internet that allows them to actually do what needs to be done for their videos, which means that they're going to have to pay more for that as well, because uploading and downloading and file sharing take up a lot of bandwidth. and then we can get into the actual cost of each video: production costs, set costs, travel costs.

there are less than six thousand paid subscribers on their patreon. i was one for a while! and i know that i was on the lowest tier. so conservatively, that's $72 a year per subscriber, and if we round up to 6,000 paid subscribers, that's $432,000 per year total. patreon takes between 5% and 12%. even if everyone is at the lowest tier, and with patreon only taking 5%, that's $20,000 gone (we're down to $410,400), whereas if they're taking 12%, that's $50,000 gone (down to $380,160). the percentage taken gets higher when you factor in currency conversion, the fees and applicable taxes (as said by patreon itself).

the point is: there are a lot of expenses in running a business that simply have to come long before you can even begin making videos. if they want to pay their employees well, then that's expensive as shit. if they have 25 full-time employees all making minimum wage then that's $16/hr for 40 hours per week for 25 full-time employees. that's $16,000 per week. if they're paying minimum wage. and if they give their employees two weeks of unpaid vacation per year, that's $800,000 per year. if they're paying minimum wage and not offering paid time off, sick time, and paying hourly. that doesn't factor in anything else. and i really don't know why so many people are so comfortable saying "well, just fire them so i can watch stuff for free." like, people have to get that that's... not cool. at the very minimum, that's not cool.

as for the topic of political theory, yeah, let's get into it! i'd love to. if we go to marx directly then they're 100% considered the petit bourgeois, the socioeconomic class made up of white collar workers and merchants. the petit bourgeois, as we know, did not invent capitalism, they do not benefit from capitalism in the same way that the bourgeois does, and they are subject to the coercive nature of capitalism in the same way that the proletariat are.

the coercive nature of capitalism means that when you're born into capitalism you are forced to engage with it in order to exist in society. you have to work so you can pay for things. you have to enter the labor force full-well knowing how it exploits and alienates you so you can survive from day to day. now, we don't know their personal finances! we don't know if they're really sitting on a scrooge mcduck style pile of gold and stroking villain mustaches in their back rooms and screwing over tiny tim whenever they get the chance, and they just choose not to put it into the company. that's a pretty big stretch, considering what they've revealed to us about their living situations (for example, ryan living with multiple roommates until his marriage, or shane's (by his own description) shitty car).

leftism isn't just about "being nice" but it is in so many ways about prioritizing the well-being of the community over personal satisfaction. your desire to engage with their content for free does not override their employees' right to exist safely in their workplace and be fairly compensated. you don't actually know if that's too many people! we don't know their job titles, we don't know what they do, we don't know how necessary each person is to each task - and in that first paragraph, didn't you even suggest that they do more work? how do they do that when they fire parts of their staff, placing their workload on the remaining workers?

you can believe steven came up with the idea himself. you don't even have to like steven lim! but the nastiness and racist vitriol that followed was entirely unnecessary. being shitty to someone behind the comfort of internet anonymity isn't leftist praxis. it's not praxis at all. it's being shitty to someone behind the comfort of internet anonymity. if you insist on finding ways to punch up simply because you're fucking desperate to punch somebody, that's not praxis. it's just shittiness.

and shit, while we're here: maybe chill it on the "dickriding" "sucking their dicks" commentary in your post and your tags. at best it's a childish temper tantrum and at worst it's bordering on sexual harassment.

if you can't afford it, or choose not to pay for it, genuinely, that's a bummer that you wouldn't have access to the content anymore, prior to the changes made. doesn't mean there's no inherent value and that these artists are morally in the wrong for wanting to charge for their art.

and you know i gotta say. the vast majority of the people losing their shit this weekend made it very clear that they do not understand the difference between "artists who want a measure of comfort in their lives" and "the billionaires actually being targeted by phrases like eat the rich." that is such a weird thing to be so proud to announce to the whole entire internet.

it's also extremely weird to behave as though any individual is entitled to an artist's work for free. or that the audience should be the final say in determining what an artist creates. there is a major difference between the betrayal of an artist who produces art and then banks on their social capital to engage in harmful, violent, bigoted behavior (like jk rowling) and the "betrayal" of an artist who decides that they should be or need to be compensated for their work. the latter isn't actually a betrayal at all. it's just a shift.

the thing is that the watcher boys didn't invent capitalism, they didn't invent the streaming model, they didn't invent youtube or patreon. they aren't getting 100% of the money from either. their merch doesn't magically appear as if made by elves while they sleep. their videos don't happen out of nowhere and without incurring bills. they have a business which employs people, and sure, you can say they employ too many people, but do they actually? a bunch of randos on the internet don't actually know that. they don't know these job titles, or how necessary it is to have everyone there. it's pure speculation. the entire company exists within a system they did not invent and are trying to stay afloat in said system while a bunch of assholes on the internet berate them for not acquiescing to their every whim at the expense of their artistic integrity, their ability to compensate their staff fairly, and their ability to keep making art.

and jumping from "i want to continue enjoying this artist's work for free" to "i think people should be fired and the remaining employees should be given greater responsibilities and more tasks to complete" is wild to me. there's nothing leftist in that and so trying to leverage leftist jargon to prove some sort of moral superiority is fucking wild, it's disingenuous, and it's sketchy as hell. you're allowed to be disappointed. you're not magically exempt from being told you're being an asshole if you decide your disappointment entitles you to take part in asshole behavior.

"but we don't want something heavily produced and we don't want these shows" then don't watch! that's it! don't watch! you are not being held hostage and forced to engage with this content. you have the choice not to. throwing a tantrum and launching racist vitriol at steven lim and demanding he step down as CEO shows a level of entitlement and childishness that, frankly, i wish they could have ignored, but they're both kinder & more patient than i am.

anyway congratulations to watcher on their new streaming service and their gorgeous new website, congratulations to the boys on a new step in their careers and on achieving something they've made clear they've wanted for ages, thank you to the boys for all their hard work and for sharing their creativity with us. thank you too for taking such a big and genuinely brave step to no longer be beholden to major corporations and advertisers so you can make the art you want to make. thank you to steven lim for taking so many steps back to keep the company running and for doing your best in a shit economy and while being targeted by this kind of nastiness online. and thank you to the entire team at @wearewatcher for continuing to do amazing work despite being treated like shit by the fan community at large on the internet while you're trying to make a living and create art. you all deserve better than you've been shown of late and i hate that such an exciting moment got overshadowed by so many temper tantrums.

because the whole fucking point, the dream, is getting to make the art that matters to them, without being held back. i'm sorry y'all don't want the heavily produced and high quality shit but your preferences as a member of an audience are not the law by which artists should abide. they are artists and they are free to, and deserve to, make the art they want to make.

[lantur]

notes,

I have had such a good time between Friday and now. I made shrimp biriyani on Friday night and I'm so happy with how it turned out!! It was pretty labor-intensive, about 1.5 hours of cooking and lots of steps and prep, so it was the perfect challenge. I love the feeling of cooking on a Friday evening.

Yesterday I did something I really needed to do but have been procrastinating on doing for a long time. I filled up an entire large trash bag full of clothes to donate. I don't like having a large wardrobe because of the space it takes up, but unfortunately living in a four-season climate does mean I have more clothes than I used to when I lived in Arizona and could wear basically the same shorts, t-shirts, and dresses year-round.

Derek and I started watching The Expanse on Friday night, and I love it so far!

I'm about halfway through listening to The Last Argument of Kings, book #3 in the First Law trilogy by Joe Abercrombie, and I am just. Obsessed. With this book. It's definitely my favorite in the trilogy.

I got back to running after my vacation-induced hiatus Friday and today, and it went really well!!

Derek and I had D&D today with my brother- and sister-in-law and it was a lot of fun :) and I made pad thai for dinner afterward!! I'm so glad I found a good recipe for pad thai because it is legit one of my favorite foods.

The time change today for daylight savings is throwing me off :/ The time change always does, both in fall and in spring.

Related - it's starting to get a little warmer here over the next week, as it will be in the 40s and 50s F / 4 to 10 degrees C. I can't wait for the snow to melt!! It's been really throwing me off that we're almost halfway through March and there's still snow on the ground. It makes me think that it's still January or February, not a couple of weeks away from being done with the first quarter of the year.

I found a couple of new salad recipes this week that I really enjoy. This apple spinach salad, and this salad with pears, goat cheese, and a maple vinaigrette.

I think the only thing really bothering me right now is that I haven't had the time to write in weeks and yet I have many ideas :(

[buttered-ghost-toast]

Listen, if you don't fill out all of those numbers and tell me everything about your MC I'm going to feel robbed

Oh geez, fam! ...aight. That took me a minute. But below you will find out more about my girl, Niri! 

1.      What is their favourite food?—

Cheeseburgers and carrots. 

2.       Do they have a fear of an animal? If so, what animal? –

Not a fan of snakes, lizards, frogs, sharks.

3.       What do they wear to bed? –

Shorts and a t-shirt. Sometimes nothing at all!! That had to stop when she moved into the HoL though. Brothers poppin’ in at all hours gettin’ an eyeful. Lucifer was upset. 

4.       Do they like cuddling?—

1000000000%. Niri’s a big ol’ cuddle bug. Asmo’s all about it. So is Beel. 

5.       Do they have a secret handshake with anyone? -- With Astaroth. It’s quite elaborate and they only ever do it when they decide to get up to trouble.

 6.       What do they look like? – 

She cute if I may say so myselffff (don’t judge me, she’s a self insert hah!) Mid to slightly above average height for a human female, fairly toned. Brown eyes, mid-back length hair that’s brown at the root, fades to a teal and purple under layers. Sometimes her hair will fade to a light yellowy-green. She has the hookup for dye from Barbatos who likes to procure things for her from the human realm. She also has quite a few tattoos.

 7.       Do they like chocolate? –

Only dark. She’s allergic to additives in certain milk chocolates so she doesn’t eat it much. 

 8.      What are their good and bad traits?

Good: Helpful, kind, encouraging, quite a hard worker in any task given her.

Bad: Easily swept up into trouble by others, will prioritize naps over other stuff sometimes, awfully flirtatious which gets her in hot water with Lucifer because apparently lesser demons keep poppin’ by the house with gifts also HUMAN, DID YOU REALLY JUST SAY THAT TO LORD DIAVOLO?! Oopsssssss~ Also, you know how Luci’s always doing the “MAAAAMMMOOOONNNNN…”…yeah, that’s almost always followed by “NIIIIIRIIIIIIIIII….”

 9.      Do they have any artistic talent?

Yes. She’s a musician so there’s that…and she likes to paint.

10.  What is their favourite room to be in, in the house they live in?

She likes the music room since the boys tend to spend quite a bit of time in there together, but she’s usually found in the kitchen making loads of food and baked goods…also, that’s where you’re more likely to find Beel, and she reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally likes Beel.

11.  Do they believe in luck?

To an extent. She believes that luck exists, but she thinks relying on it is a bit naïve.

12.  Can they do magic?

Like pull a rabbit out of a hat type thing? Yes. She picked up a few little tricks here and there from a friend who loves show magic. Def not the real stuff though.

13.  Do they believe in dragons?

She didn’t until she went to the Devildom. Not that they just have dragons hangin’ out all willy-nilly, but she’s heard stories from the brothers and others about dragons.

 14.  What is a pet peeve of theirs?

Rudeness and liars who don’t give up even after they’ve been caught in the lie. Also people who demand things of others as if they’re property and not living beings with feelings …this isn’t about Belphegor at all. Nope. She doesn’t have issues with him still.

15.  What was the last thing they cried about?

She was able to talk to all her bandmates at once for her weekly call home. They all just really miss each other, ok? It sucks that she has to lie to them about where she is because she knows they’re worried about her, but it was just nice to hear their voices.

16.  What is their sexuality?

Pan.

17.  Do they have a best friend? If so, who, and what makes them their best friend?

We’ll narrow this down to the Devildom. Niri gets along with everyone and literally loves all the beings she’s met and knows she could count on them for most anything, but there’s definitely a more solid feeling to her connection with Beelzebub. They sort of just get to be vulnerable and entirely open with one another and there is never judgement or ill will, even when Beel eats her secret snack stash…again.

 She’s kind of getting to that point with Astaroth as well, but she can sense he’s still a little guarded in certain aspects, and she’s not going to push.

18.  Have they ever been in a romantic relationship?

Yes, quite a few. It’s not her favorite thing to talk about since she’s been quite unlucky in that aspect, but hey, the past is the past.

19.  What does their relationship with their family look like? Are they close? Distant? Ect.

Her actual family family (with the exception of her brother) are not close in the least. They’re sort of barely on speaking terms. Her chosen family (comprised of her band and some of the closest staff) is extremely close.

20.  Do they have a pet?

No. She loves animals and had a dog up until recently, but they passed. It’s okay though, they had a good long life and it wasn’t painful for them when it happened.

21.  Do they have a familiar?

Nope. Non-magical.

22.  Are they a supernatural being?

Nope! “Boring” human, but she does seem to always find herself in weird situations that are sorta paranormal.

23.  How do they usually wear their hair?

It really just depends on the day. If she had time to work on it, it’s down and straight. If it’s a rush in the morning (read: fight for the bathroom because Beel won’t MOVE) she’ll toss it in a bun or ponytail depending on how hot it is outside. There are the odd days when she’ll just let it vibe in its natural wavy/curly state, but she kind of got fed up with the brothers calling her a sheep because it’s so fluffy.

24.  Can they play an instrument? If so, what instrument and what can they play?

Yes! She learned guitar and bass at a young age and was tinkering with drums before she was whisked away to the Devildom.

25.  What type a high schooler are/were they?

She was the quiet weird kid that didn’t quite fit in with the weird weird crowd, but also wasn’t popular. Plenty of people knew her or of her, but she mainly stuck with her group of friends and was nice to everyone.

26.  Have they ever been in a physical fight before? If so, with who? Who won?

Yes. Just small bits of violence. No one of import, tbh. But there was that one time they all went out to party at the fall and Mammon and Levi started teasing her and in her drunken state, Niri went to punch Mammon who managed to duck so she hit Levi square in the nose. He was fiiiiiiine.

27.  What is their favourite holiday?

Halloween because it’s fun, Christmas because of the togetherness, and EASTER BECAUSE MARSHMALLOW PEEPS!

 28.  If they could have one wish, what would they wish for?

A pass to go from the Devildom to the Human realm and back whenever she wants forever.

 29.  Do they wants kids? If they already have kids, do they want more?

No. Never.

 30.  Do they have a job?

Yes? Being a singer in a band is a job, right? It doesn’t always feel like a job because it’s awesome, but it’s a job.

 31.  Do they know how to drive?

Yes. She has convinced Mammon to let her drive his car on a few occasions and every time they get back he swears NEVER AGAIN. She a little speed demon.

 32.  Do they get stressed out easily?

Funny story, actually…YES. But she is pretty good at not letting it show. So on the outside she’s like la-la-la~ but inside it’s all AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~

 33.  Did they ever dye their hair before? If so, to what colour? Did they like it?

Absolutely lol. Niri has gone through a few colors in her life, but her favorite is and always will be the teal. (Fun fact: the purple came from a happy accident a few years back when she dyed over a pink shade and a layer turned out purple. She liked it so now she does it that way on purpose.)

 34.  Have they ever broken the law?

Never anything egregious, but she’s gotten tickets for stuff in the human world. Disturbing the peace, speeding, she was fined once (along with her bandmates) for a surprise free show they did in front of a train station which got a lot more attention than they were expecting and wound up shutting down a couple city blocks. Oooooooooopsss~

 35.  Do they own a plant?

She’s really bad with plants. REALLY bad. She was gifted a plant by Simeon a couple weeks into the exchange program and it took an embarrassingly long time for her to notice it was a fake plant…since he knows she sucks at keeping things alive.

 36.  Have they ever rode a horse before?

Once, and it was a terrifying experience so she just keeps her distance now.

 37.  What is their favorite gif?

anything featuring Titus Andromedon.

 38.  Do they get along with others easily?

 She tries to. It’s not always possible, but she tries, dammit!

 39.  Do they have any tattoos?

Several, yes. One arm sleeve done, starting the other arm, both thighs have massive pieces on them and both ribs done as well. There are also a few small things on her fingers and back.

 40.  If I wanted to draw them, what would be distinct physical features that I would have to know to draw them correctly?

Lotta hair. Looooooottttta hair. And heavily winged eyeliner. Big lashes.

 41.  What is their favourite breed of dog?

Huskies. They’re just so cute and sassy! And perfectly sized!! Great cuddle buddies and fun to run with!

 42.  Do they live with anyone? If so, who?

Not in the human world, but she’s got 7 kinda irritating roomies in the Devildom!

 43.  Where is their dream vacation?

She’s traveled extensively, so there isn’t anywhere she dreams of going that she hasn’t already seen. Her favorite place is anywhere mountainous and lush.

 44.  Do they know more than one language?

Yep. Niri’s a language nerd. Because she likes to speak to fans and stuff, she has set it on herself to learn as many languages as she can. She’s not perfectly fluent in all of them, but it’s a good handful that she can hold a full conversation in. She and Satan like to practice with one another around the house, despite complaints from the others.

 45.  Are they a quick learner?

Depends. Most things, yes…..math and processes requiring math, NO.

 46.  Have they ever won a contest before? If so, what for? What did they win?

No, she’s not really the luck having type.

 47.  If the world were to end in 24 hours, where would they be and who would they be with?

Probably hugging Beel. They hug often. They’re kinda always together. It’s gross according to Leviathan and Belphegor.

 48.  What does their room look like?

She didn’t change much in the room she was given at the HoL. Just added her fake plant from Simeon and a few human things…she actually got the “Hang in There” kitty poster just for kicks. Lucifer hates it.

 49.  If they could have an extinct animal for a pet, what would they have?

A dodo bird. Because they’re weird and cool.

 50.  If they got called out by someone, what would they do?

Laugh and argue probably. Depends what they’re calling her out on.

51.  Have they ever shot a gun before?

Yep. Actually enjoys shooting, it’s a fun stress reliever. She makes a point to drop by shooting ranges every once in a while back home.

 52.  Have they ever been axe throwing?

Once at a renaissance festival on an odd week of downtime. She didn’t do so well. The throwing was fine, but she never hit the target. Just be glad she didn’t hit a person either!

 53.  What is something that they want but can’t have?

At the moment, all the people she loves in one place.

 54.  Do they know how to fish?

Nope! She’s a mess with that kind of thing. Also, she doesn’t like the idea of fishing for anything herself. It makes her cry to think of the fish on the hook :<.

 55.  What is something they always wanted to do but too scared?

Hmm…Niri tries to live her life in a way that she won’t have regrets, so even if something is scary, she’ll pluck up the courage to do it. But…she still hasn’t jumped out of a plane.

 56.  Do they own their own baby pictures?

Absolutely not. She cringes thinking of the outfits her parents used to put her in, so she did her best to keep those kinds of things buried and acts like they never existed. Nope. Was never a baby. Nope.

 57.  What makes them standout among others?

Niri is a pro at pretending she’s confident, so she tends to draw attention when she walks in a room like she owns the place. Also her hair is kinda bright.

 58.  Do they like to show off?

Not really. She’s flamboyant in a sense, but she doesn’t go out of her way to call attention or to be center stage…heh.

 59.  What is their favourite song?

She can never pick, honestly. There are so many songs that are so amazing!

 60.  What would be their dream vehicle?

That’s a very good question. Probably something sitting in her garage back home. Probably being driven by one of her bandmates. Because hey, what are friends for?

 61.  What is their favourite book?

Not that she isn’t a big reader, but she doesn’t really get the time to enjoy books. There’s always something that needs attention or someplace to be and she’s required to engage, so focusing on a book or story is hard, but she’s a fan of classic novels, poetry, and Greek tragedies are always good!

 62.  Who, in their opinion, makes the best food?

She likes everything Barbatos makes and thinks Luke’s desserts are fantastic, but there’s something about a human recipe that just warms her heart, so…..herself. Lol.

 63.  Are they approachable?

Absolutely! If you can get past her intimidating resting face.

 64.  Did they ever change their appearance?

Not drastically, but she has gone through a few different phases until settling on a good one.

65.  What makes them smile?

The silliness of those around her. Thinking of good memories with family/friends. Puppies.

 66.  Do they like glowsticks?

Yes. She has a stockpile of glowsticks that the brothers keep adding to.

 67.  What is something that is simple, but always makes them smile?

Watching the brothers bicker, even if it’s getting out of hand. It reminds her of her friends and how they always pick on one another.

 68.  Are they a day or night person?

Night, usually. Not that she dislikes the daytime, but day usually has so much stuff to be done whereas night is the fun stuff that doesn’t need a schedule.

 69.  Are they allergic to anything?

Some milk chocolate, bell peppers, and certain devildom plants.

 70.  What do you, the creator of this OC, like most about them?

She’s a spunky little thing who loves to have fun and make others smile above all else.

 71.  Who is their ride or die?

In the Devildom, Beelzebub and Astaroth.

Beel for most things, and Asta for the stuff Beel won’t do.

 72.  Do they currently have a significant other? If not, are they going to get one later one?

Erm…eh…look, it’s never been officially labeled or anything, ok? Like yeah they’re kind always together and have pet names for each other and like always touch and cuddle and like snuggle up in bed together and stuffffffffffff but like, idk? Is Beel her dude? Like….do we wanna even get into that?????? I mean, maybe someday? Like…what? What was the question??

 73.  What attracts them to another person?

A genuine heart, a killer smile, and a rockin’ bod. Yeah okay look everyone can be a little shallow sometimes okay get off her case >__<.  

 74.  Who is one person that can always make them laugh?

She’s a damn fool and will laugh at ANYTHING, so it’s not hard. Everyone makes her laugh. The girl will 9 times out of 10 laugh at herself for the dumbest moments.

 75.  Have they ever partied too hard and their friends had to take them home?

Oh yes many times. Many many times.  One of the first few times she hung out (went on a date) one-on-one with Beel they had a drinking contest and as it turns out, he can really hold his devil liquor.

 76.  Who would be their cuddle buddy?

She’ll cuddle up to Beel 99.9% of the time because he’s big and warm and always happy to hold, but she also really enjoys cuddling with Asmodeus. He’s such a sweetie and he smells so nice and they just snuggle and talk and laugh and it’s a nice escape. (Loads of times there are Asmo x Niri x Asta sandwiches in Asmo’s room.)

 77.  Who would cheer them up after a long day?

She tends to go to one of the brothers depending on what kind of day it’s been. Most of the time it’s gonna be Beel because again, big/warm/happy to hold her, but there are occasions where she’ll drag Beel to one of the others’ rooms and they’ll just hang out.

 78.  If they had a nightmare, who would they run to?

I mean…Beel. Lol. He’s right there.

 79.  What object to the care for the most?

She has a picture of her friends from back home that sits on her desk. She treasures that above all while she’s down in the Devildom.

 80.  Do they like other people’s children?

Sure. Kids are fine as long as they go back to their parents after a bit.

 81.  How would they react if someone broke into their home?

Seeing as there’s always someone coming into her room regardless if she’s there or not, she probably would just shrug it off. If someone decided to have a bad lapse in judgement and break into the HoL? She wouldn’t have to lift a finger.

 82.  Does anyone make them have butterflies in their stomach?

I mean….Beel. Lol. He so big and cute! Also Diavolo because he also big and cute.

 83.  What is something that they are good at?

Crying to get out of trouble. She’s a little shit. Lol.

 84.  What is their neutral expression?

Niri kinda always looks pissed off or uninterested?  Until she smiles and you realize oh, she’s just a big ol’ faker.

 85.  Do they like to cook?

Yes. It’s one of her very favorite things to do!

 86.  What is something they can’t leave home without?

Her phone! (and Beel) but like, there’s just so much a phone can do!

 87.  Who is someone that they rely on?

Have I mentioned ever that Simeon is (or was at one time) Niri’s guardian angel? He seems to always be there and ready to help in any way, so she’s pretty reliant on him and hopes he feels the same toward her. (He does. Cue uwu’s)

 88.  Do they liked to be tickled?

Absolutely not. She’s extremely ticklish and hates being tickled. She flails and cries.

 89.  Have they ever been a sword fight before?

No. No she has not lol. Unless empty wrapping paper tubes count? She’s done that.  

 90.  What is a joke that they would find funny?

All the bad ones. All of them. Ugly laugh here we go!

 91.  Do they have a place that can go and turn off their brain?

The gardens at RAD. It’s peaceful and there’s a great  view of the sky.

 92.  What was their childhood like?

Not bad, but not memorable. There was a lot of pressure put on her to be a perfect kid, and she didn’t get to have a whole ton of fun.

 93.  What are they like as an adult?

Responsible, but definitely fun-loving. Like I mentioned before, she likes to live in a way that she won’t ever regret not having done something she wanted to do, or regret any actions she took, so she’s always got an open mind and welcomes new experiences. She’s a big ol’ kid.

 94.  Do they take criticism well?

Yes. She welcomes criticism in any form as she is always looking to be the best person she can be.

 95.  Have they ever jumped out of a plane?

No. Not yet!

 96.  Who do they like to make jokes with?

Literally anyone. A total joker. Big big clown.

 97.  Have you ever drawn them before? If you are comfortable with it, would you post a picture?

Yes! I draw Niri every once in a while. I actually need to draw her again soon! I miss that girl.

[uncloseted]

How does someone find their passion in life ? i'm going to uni next year and i have no idea what i want to study, or what i'm passionate about, as horrible as it is, i've never found anything i've liked more than just laying around all day, i could live forever doing nothing but i also don't want to have a work i job i completely hate but i know i have to work or study something eventually

So first things first, I think it’s important to say that your field of study/career doesn’t necessarily have to be your passion (and for that matter, what you study at uni doesn’t necessarily dictate your future career- a lot of people have degrees they never use).  I know that many of us have been sold this idea that a career can only be satisfying if it’s our “passion”. I think that’s a convenient narrative for aggressively capitalistic countries (the US being the biggest offender) because it sets a standard that we should be willing to do anything for our passion-career (unpaid internships, working for less than our labor is worth, doing unpaid work, putting up with toxic work environments, unreasonably long commutes...), since we’re not doing it for the money, we’re doing it because we genuinely love our jobs.  Maybe your passion is making dolls from corn husks or golfing or people watching or something else that’s not easy to monetize, and that’s totally okay.  It’s okay to have a job that you don’t love and aren’t super dedicated to because it allows you to do the things you do really love.  Your work shouldn’t have to be your life- work should allow you to live your life. 

Anyway, I do have some thoughts about how to find a career that works for you, whatever that might mean.  I’ve written about this before (of course, the internet cannot find it), but I would look into the Japanese concept of ikigai- your “reason for being”.

When searching for your ikigai, I would suggest making a list (no matter how short), of the things you love, the things you’re good at, the things the world needs, and the things you can be paid for.  Look for overlaps in each category, and try your best to think creatively about how you can combine the different categories.  For example, maybe you love movies, you think the world needs to know about global warming, and you’re good at organization.  Your ikigai in that case might be to be a coordinator on documentaries that focus on global warming.  It’s a job that pays pretty well, and also incorporates the other sections on your list, so it’s likely to feel fulfilling.

Moving away from ikigai, there’s this story that I think about a lot.  A great uncle told it to me, and I always assumed it was a story from his life until one day I discovered it was actually a chain email called The Parable of the Mexican Fisherman and the Banker.  I still think about it a lot, though, and it’s shaped the way I view work, so maybe it will be useful to you as well.  It goes like this:

An American investment banker was taking a much-needed vacation in a small coastal Mexican village (in my uncle’s story, the fisherman is from Kalymnos and he dives for sponges) when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. The boat had several large, fresh fish in it.

The investment banker was impressed by the quality of the fish and asked the Mexican how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, “Only a little while.” The banker then asked why he didn’t stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican fisherman replied he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.

The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman replied, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos: I have a full and busy life, señor.”

The investment banker scoffed, “I am an Ivy League MBA (in my family the school is always Harvard), and I could help you. You could spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat, and with the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats until eventually, you would have a whole fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to the middleman you could sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You could control the product, processing and distribution.”

Then he added, “Of course, you would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City where you would run your growing enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But señor, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15–20 years.”

“But what then?” asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You could make millions.”

“Millions, señor? Then what?”

To which the investment banker replied, “Then you would retire. You could move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

The question that this story prompts for me is, if you had unlimited time and resources, what kind of life would you lead?  Where would you live?  What would you spend your time doing?  Who would you be with?  Would you have pets?  Kids?  What would your daily routine look like?  Maybe the answer for you isn’t a university degree or an office job.  Maybe it’s not millions.  Maybe it’s diving for sponges on a Greek island or being a fisherman in Mexico.  I think it can be helpful to put together an image of that perfect life and then try to reverse engineer the best way of getting there instead of putting the onus on the job you have to shape what kind of life you want to lead.  Maybe you really want to have kids, so you need a job that will have a good parental leave policy or that has flexible hours or that will pay enough to support the family you want to have.  To me, those considerations are just as important as whether or not you feel interested in the job you do every day.

I would also think about the opposite- what kind of life could you absolutely not stand living?  What kind of workplace would drive you crazy?  Knowing what your “hard nos” can help you to narrow down the potential field of options. For example, my hard nos include anything to do with venipuncture, jobs that require me to be organized on behalf of other people, anything that’s heavy on performing/public speaking, jobs where people have high expectations of me (incidentally, this is the reason I’m not a therapist), and any environment that wants me to work more than 40 hours a week.  For some people, all of those are totally doable, but for me they’re not, and that’s okay.  There’s no reason to spend your life doing things that make you miserable. 

The last thing I’m going to suggest is the CareerExplorer quiz.  I like this quiz in particular for a few reasons.  First, it’s a really comprehensive test, and so I think it can help you find the language to describe what you’re going through, what your hard yesses and hard nos are, and what you need in a work setting. Even if the answers the test gives aren’t perfect, I think it provides a framework to think about career options because of the questions it asks.  The other reason I really like this test is because so far it’s been 100% correct for everyone I know, even those with more obscure careers, so it seems to be more exact than other career aptitude tests out there.  And the user interface is really nice as well, which is a bonus.

Hopefully some of that is helpful in your decision making process.  And if you ever want someone to bounce ideas off of or help coming up with careers that might be a good fit for you, I’m happy to help.