#so i don’t really say it but like. i’m happy :) and maybe i should flat out say it more because i truly mean it

[robyn-goodfellowe]

goodnight tumblr :) sweet dreams snnzzz

[hotshotsxyz]

beer & apologies

(buddie) (722 words) (7x04 coda)

It’s late, later than any reasonable person would show up on a friend’s doorstep, but Buck’s got this bright, warm feeling in his chest and all he wants to do is apologize so he can share it. For a split second he thinks about knocking, but that feels a little too much like going backwards. Instead, he lets himself in and hangs his key on the hook.

“Eddie,” he calls quietly into the still house.

“Kitchen.” The reply is soft, easy, like Eddie was expecting him.

Buck steps into the room and holds up the beer he brought.

Eddie looks up at him and grins, soft and warm in the glow of the lamplight. “What’s that for?”

“This is ‘sorry for acting like a teenager and spraining your ankle’ beer,” Buck says, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “Seriously, I’m sorry.”

Eddie sighs and pushes an empty chair back from the table with his foot, gesturing for Buck to sit. “I’m sorry too,” he says.

“No, no, you don’t—" Buck starts.

“Yeah, I do,” Eddie interrupts with a wry grin. “You should definitely be sorry-er, though, so I’ll take the beer.”

Buck snorts and sits, setting the six pack on the table between them.

“We didn’t—well, I didn’t…”

“I know,” Buck says. “I was just—”

“I know,” Eddie says softly.

A few, quiet moments pass, and it’s comfortable, exactly what Buck was missing the last couple of days.

“Hey,” Eddie says suddenly, sitting up a little straighter, “at least now I know why you always said no to basketball.” He smiles, loose and just a tiny bit mischievous.

Buck splutters. “What? No! I wasn’t that bad,” he protests.

Eddie lifts his injured ankle and raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, well maybe, but—”

“Uh-uh,” Eddie says, “no buts. You haven many talents, Buck, but basketball isn’t one of them.”

Buck ducks his head and grins. “Maybe I’ll get Tommy to teach me, then I can beat you without playing dirty.” Saying Tommy’s name out loud gives birth to a few giddy butterflies in his stomach.

“You two make up?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah,” Buck says. “He uh—texted me.” The butterflies turn to little rocks.

“Good,” Eddie says, “that’s good.” He grabs a beer and twists the top off. “I really think you guys will get along, if you give him a chance.”

“We, um. Yeah. We probably will.” Buck grabs a beer of his own and stares at the label.

He doesn’t—he didn’t mean to lie. It just kind of… came out. Which, it’s Eddie. Buck knows he could tell him exactly what happened, right now, and it’d be fine. It’d be completely fine because it’s Eddie and he knows Eddie would be cool about it, probably even happy for him! But when he goes to open his mouth it just. Doesn’t.

“How’s—uh. How’s Marisol?” he asks instead, tripping over his words.

Eddie shrugs. “She’s fine, same as always. Apparently Christopher got her to play Fortnite, which, according to him, was a disaster.”

Buck laughs, shaking his head. “That kid,” he says softly.

“That kid,” Eddie agrees. He takes another swig of beer and sits back.

“Hey, wait,” Buck says suddenly. He lurches forward and snags the bottle out of Eddie’s hand. “You can’t have this, you’re on pain killers.”

“It’s my apology beer!” Eddie protests.

“Nope, two sips is plenty. I can’t hurt your ankle and your liver on the same day.”

“It’s after midnight, it’s tomorrow,” Eddie pouts. “Give it.” He makes a halfhearted attempt to grab it back, but Buck holds the beer aloft.

“Nuh-uh, absolutely not,” Buck says. “You can drink your apology beer this weekend.”

“My apology beer is going to be flat and stale,” Eddie replies, unimpressed.

Buck rolls his eyes. “I’ll buy you a new apology beer, alright?”

“Promises, promises.”

“I will!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie laughs. “You better. Want to bring it over on Saturday? We can watch the game.”

Buck’s grin falters a little bit, even as that warm feeling bubbles up in his chest all over again. “I uh- can’t, sorry.”

“What, you got a hot date or something?” Eddie asks with a laugh.

Buck takes a long swallow from the beer he stole from Eddie. “Yeah, something,” he says with a hollow laugh.

He feels like a liar.

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Words: 3,844 Pairing: Negan x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: Alexandria, after the war, Negan is imprisoned Warnings: language, mild gore (killing walkers) Summary: In lieu of Negan's failing mental health, Michonne looks for options and Y/N steps up to do her share. A/N: This is part 1 of a miniseries (maybe 3?? parts) for Negan that I've been working on! I started it as a one shot, but... you know me lol so here we are! Part 2 will be released next week on Wicked Wednesday! Happy reading! “I’m afraid we’ve got a problem,” Michonne said seriously. You exchanged a glance with Daryl.

“What kind of problem? Like, Annoying Steve is being annoying or a new horror is coming to destroy everything we have and love?” you asked wryly.

Daryl let out an appreciative dry laugh but Michonne remained serious. “Somewhere in the middle, I think,” she said. “It’s about Negan.”

Daryl swore and paced a tight circle. “Course it is. Somehow, it’s still always ‘bout him, ain’t it?” he growled.

Michonne forged ahead. “Gabriel is—fed up with him. There’s no other way to say it. He’s not trying to do anymore counseling and he needs a break. I don’t blame him. He’s taken on everything with Negan since—since Rick—”

You frowned, your brow furrowing as grief roared upwards in all of you. “What exactly is the problem?”

“His mental state is really deteriorating,” Michonne explained. “Being in there by himself all the time, just the odd hour or two outside, no one talking to him—”

“Why should we give a shit?” Daryl asked in a low, dangerous voice. “Ain’t the whole damn point of him bein’ in there so he has to suffer for what he did for the rest of his life? His mental state… Fuck. They fed me one fuckin’ dog food sandwich a day after they shoved me into a fucking closet naked. They —”

You reached over and put your hand on Daryl’s arm before he got further charged up. He stopped abruptly and drew in a long breath.

“I know. I know what he did, but no,” Michonne said. “The point isn’t for him to just suffer. If we do that, we become no better than him.”

Daryl glanced at you and let out an exasperated exhale. “Hell, ya already know what I think about it,” Daryl said firmly. “He shouldn’t even be breathin’ still. ‘M the wrong damn person to ask ‘bout this.”

Michonne sighed and leaned forward on her hands. “I’m just trying to honor Carl and—”

“We know,” you interrupted her quickly. You paused thoughtfully. “I—I can take this on. I’ve dealt with him the least so far out of the three of us. Probably makes it my turn.”

Daryl’s brow furrowed. “What’re ya gonna do? Rub his back while he cries? Hold his fuckin’ hand? I mean, how do we help somebody like him.”

Michonne shrugged. “A little more conversation to start, I think. He said being alone and the boredom is eating him alive. Maybe we come up with some more things for him to do outside the cell.”

You nodded. “I’ll brainstorm,” you said.

Daryl looked concerned, his eyes flickering over you. “Yer gonna have to be careful. He’s a manipulative asshole. And I dun trust a damn thing ‘bout him. If he can get out, he will. Don’t matter what he’d have to do.”

“I’ll be careful. I’m not an amateur, Daryl,” you said, shooting him a smile.

He nodded, ducking his head. “I know. I just gotta say it.”

“Are you sure?” Michonne asked. “It doesn’t have to be one of us. I can talk to some other people.”

“I’ve got it. I’ll start today. I’ll take him his meals and check on him, make sure he gets some time outside the cell. I’ll take care of it.”

_ _ _ _ _ _

Flat on his back, Negan heard the door open and shut but he barely moved. His eyes stayed closed and he heaved a heavy sigh, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose in some anticipation of annoyance. “Gabey-baby, I am not in the fucking mood for your guidance counselor horseshit today, so why don’t you just turn that tight little toosh around, waltz back out, and leave me the fuck alone…” he said.

“Wow. That was—gross…” you said.

Now, his eyes opened. This was something different. You were different. He swung his legs down and sat on the edge of his cot, his hazel eyes finding you and looking you over. “God Bless America, a change in the fucking monotony,” he said. “Is Gabe still mad at me?”

You approached his cell, tray in hand and nodded. “Yep. In fact, so pissed that he’s officially on vacation from you.”

“Gotta envy that,” Negan quipped. “How do I sign up for one of those?”

“A vacation from yourself?” you asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. “I don’t think that’s in the cards.”

“Damn. It was worth asking.” He seemed to be looking you over again and you rolled your eyes.

“My eyes are up here, Negan,” you joked.

His lips curled into a half-smile. “Sorry. But Gabe isn’t exactly my type and I don’t get much chance to look at anything so—”

“Just stop right there, okay?” you interrupted him. You slid his tray through the slot at the bottom of the door and straightened back up.

But Negan wasn’t interested in his breakfast. “It’s Y/N, isn’t it?” he asked.

“You know perfectly well what my name is, Negan,” you countered.

He cocked his head slightly. “You’re right about that,” he admitted. “So, what’s on the agenda?” he asked, finally moving to grab his tray. He returned to his cot and set it on the small side table.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Gabe was always counseling me. Trying to rehabilitate me. Were you a therapist or something in the old world?” He grabbed the small apple and shined it on his shirt before taking a bite.

“No. But we’re perfectly aware that your mental health has taken a nosedive recently,” you said.

Negan let out a low laugh. “And you give a shit?” he asked skeptically. “I nearly fucking destroyed all of you and you’re worried about my mental health?”

You sighed and nodded once, stiffly. “We’re not the same as you, Negan. We’re trying to do better. And Michonne wants to honor Carl’s vision.” You watched as Negan’s face fell. The look in his eyes grew distant and his shoulders slumped slightly.

“Yeah… He was a helluva kid,” Negan said.

“You don’t know the half of it,” you replied, taking a seat in the stiff wooden chair set outside his cell. “I watched him grow up from a scared little kid and survive everything this world threw his way. You have no idea what kind of loss that was.”

Negan was looking at you thoughtfully and you were surprised when he didn’t reply, only nodded, and then returned to his apple.

“The agenda is for me to—” you hesitated for a moment. What the hell was the agenda? “For me to help you how I can. I know you’re alone a lot and you probably need some company, a change of scenery every now and then, mental stimulation…”

Negan laughed and smirked. “That’s not the only kind of stimulation I need,” he said.

You glared at him. “Jesus, Negan…” you murmured, rolling your eyes.

“It’s the truth,” he laughed.

“Yeah, well, I’m not helping you with that. I guess you’ll just have to try your hardest to think back to one of your past six wives,” you sassed.

The grin stayed on his face. “Five,” he corrected you. Then, the smile faded. “But, uh, only the first really counted.” Negan’s head dropped and you watched him curiously.

He was struggling. You’d never sensed so much truth or vulnerability in a single thing that had left his lips.

“I see,” you said.

For some reason, this made him laugh again. “You know, Gabe used to say that all the time. It’s some of that non-value, non-judgement counselor language.”

You stood up suddenly and sighed. “Finish your breakfast. I’m gonna go do a few things and then I’ll be back. We’re gonna get you out of that cell for a while today.” You fixed a stern and perceptive look on him. “If you think you can behave.”

Negan looked curious. “For you? I might.”

You cocked your head at him and looked unamused. “You will, or I’ll fucking kill you.”

Negan laughed again and turned back to his food. “Got it.”

_ _ _ _ _ _

“Why don’t I come with ya?” Daryl asked, watching as you slipped the pistol into your holster.

You looked up at him with a furrowed brow. “You think I can’t handle this?” you asked.

“Not that ya can’t handle it. It’s just—it’s Negan. We all know what he’s fuckin’ capable of,” Daryl said, walking behind you out the front door and across the steps.

“You’re conflating past Negan with Negan now. I just talked to him, and I’m telling you—it’s like he’s been robbed of all his menace and power. He’s been sitting in that cell a long time, Daryl. I don’t think he’s the same and I don’t think he’s going to—to suddenly hit me over the head with a rock or something,” you said.

“But outside the walls? Already? Why dun ya just—just start with somethin’ in here first and see how it goes? That way there are other people around and I can stop by when I can and check in.”

You read the intense concern on Daryl’s face and then nodded. “Alright. We’ll stay in the walls today. But I think part of the problem with him is that he hasn’t seen a single different thing outside in too long. He’s going a little stir crazy in there and I can’t entirely blame him.”

“Yeah, well, he fuckin’ deserves it,” Daryl growled.

“He does. But Michonne is right… we should be trying to be better. Otherwise, we should have just killed him.” You paused, trying to come up with something for him to do that would give him a little exercise and change of pace. “I’ll have him help me clear out that area for the new garden plots. There are some plants to harvest over there anyway before we clear it. It’ll teach him something too.`”

Daryl nodded. “ ‘Kay. I’ll stop by and check in,” he drawled. “Just be careful. Dun let yer guard down.”

“You know I never do.” You turned and headed back toward Negan’s cell.

Negan rose from his seat on his cot, the tray from breakfast sitting empty beside him on the small side table. He watched as you withdrew a ring of keys from your back pocket and fiddled with them a moment as you stood in front of the cell door, eyeing the lock. Was this a good idea?

Negan took a few cautious steps toward you, watching your face intensely. “Am I… getting out on good behavior, warden?” he quipped, flashing you a half-smile. It seemed to draw you back out from your reverie.

“Temporarily,” you replied, finally fitting the key into the lock and turning it. The metallic clunk was striking. “If you can handle it…” you added.

The pistol on your hip wasn’t lost on Negan. He nodded. “I think so,” he said. “What’re we doing? Hard labor?”

“Not so hard,” you said. “But I would appreciate your help with something.”

Negan froze just after stepping out of the cell and fixed a queer look on you. “Appreciate?” he repeated.

You nodded. “Mhm…”

His eyebrows lifted. “You better be careful with the way you’re talkin’ to me, Y/N. I might just fall in love with you,” he chuckled. “I haven’t felt appreciated in… oh, I don’t know—how long have I been in here?” he asked, brushing a hand back through his hair.

“Didn’t Gabriel speak nicely to you?” you asked, shutting the cell door behind him, giving him a questioning glance.

“Well, sure. Or maybe not nicely. He was at least neutral,” Negan said, slipping his hands into his pockets. “I think I ruined that though.”

You shook your head and sighed. “Yeah, he’s not pleased with you, Negan,” you agreed. “Look, this is just a test run. We’re staying in Alexandria today, but eventually… I’d like to get you outside of the walls on occasion.” Negan looked shocked. “Obviously, that’s going to take trust,” you emphasized. “But I think it would do you good.” You hesitated, wondering if you should admit this to him, but you decided it would be good for him to hear it. “You’re not the same as you were when you were locked in here. And—I intend on finding out if you can really be rehabilitated. Not that I’m ever going to forget what you’ve done… but there’s got to be more than this,” you said, gesturing to the cell behind him, “in your future. Otherwise, what’s the point?”

“You’ve just explained exactly what has me so depressed,” Negan admitted. “I’ve spent most of the last however many fucking years wishing Rick had just killed me.”

Those words hung in the air like a toxic cloud. You gulped and couldn’t help feeling an ache of compassion at his words. Compassion for Negan. What a peculiar thought… You tilted your head toward the door. “Come on. Follow me and stay close. And let me be perfectly clear; I will shoot you if you try to pull any bullshit,” you emphasized.

He nodded, his expression surprisingly serious. “Got it.”

You led him out into the summer sunshine and walked through Alexandria until you reached the overgrown section near the wall that you planned to tackle for the day. The two of you had gotten plenty of stares as you moved down the street, but you noticed that Negan had mostly kept his head down. His shoulders were somewhat slumped and he made no witty comments on the walk, though you caught him closing his eyes to enjoy the breeze or staring up at the blue expanse of sky overhead multiple times.

He stopped beside you, his hands in his pockets, as you stared at the tall grass and brambles ahead and sighed.

“What’re we doin’, boss?” he asked.

“We’re going to start clearing this area out so eventually we can put in some new garden plots. But there’s a little more to it. We used to have some medicinal plants in here before it got overgrown. I’m hoping to find them and save them for transplanting, so we can’t just start ripping everything out.”

“How the hell am I supposed to know what’s medicinal and what’s not?” he asked.

“I’m gonna teach you,” you said confidently.

Negan laughed a little at the assertion. “Look, doll… I was a gym teacher in the old world. ‘Not Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,’” he said.

Your eyebrows lifted. “Wow. That was a deep bench reference,” you said.

He smirked at you. “I was pretty proud of it myself,” he said.

You couldn’t help a dry laugh and small shake of your head. “It’s not that hard. We’ll work together to start and I’ll show you how to identify them. The grasses can all be pulled, but we’ll identify the broadleaf plants and get them ready for transplanting if they’re something we can use.”

Negan looked skeptical but shrugged. “Well, you’re the boss. Not like I’ve got a full schedule,” he said.

“Exactly,” you agreed. There was a reason you weren’t just having him pull all the grass and doing the rest yourself. Negan was smart and not having any mental stimulation was probably contributing a lot to his mental health issues. If you gave him a task that was a little physical and a little mental, you were hoping it’d give him a sense of purpose and productivity.

You got started right away, mainly just pulling the grasses and clearing a large area that remained dotted with forbs. It was summer and the respiration of the plants you were sitting in made the air humid. It wasn’t long before you were wiping at sweat along your hairline and stopping to push wet strands back out of your face. For a while, you worked in silence beside Negan, only speaking to instruct him, but he finally tried to start some conversation on his own.

“So, what the hell did you do in the old world anyway? Were you some kind of plant guru?” he asked, pausing to pull off his gloves for a moment and get a drink from the canteen you’d provided for him.

You paused, standing up to look down at him where he knelt in the grass. He was sweaty too, like you were, and his dark blue shirt was clinging to his back in the heat. “I don’t think I owe you my backstory, Negan,” you said. Your tone wasn’t unkind, but it was a little stern.

“Aw, come on. This is part of that trust-building thing you mentioned earlier,” he said, taking another drink. “I’m just trying to figure you out a little bit,” he said.

You crossed your arms and surveyed him. “So, you can better manipulate me when it’s beneficial to you?” you asked.

“What? No,” he said with surprise, and you almost believed him. “I mean—I currently have no concrete plans to manipulate you…” he admitted, a small bit of jest in his voice. “I’m bored all the time in that fuckin’ cell. I could sure use the conversation. Isn’t that what this is about? My ‘mental health’,” he quoted, shooting an expectant look at you.

You sighed. “What do you wanna know?”

Negan licked his lips and then smiled, thinking about what he wanted to ask, but before he could say a word, bootsteps behind the two of you caused you both to look over to see Daryl standing there.

You went to greet him, pulling off your gloves.

“How’s it goin’?” he asked in an undertone, glancing past you to shoot a glare at Negan.

You shrugged. “Fine. It’s been completely fine so far.”

Daryl nodded, but still looked suspicious. “He ain’t tried anythin’?”

You shook your head, dusting the soil from your gloves. “Nope. We’re just working.”

Daryl nodded, still clearly apprehensive. “Well, s’almost noon. Get him back to his cell by 1 and I’ll bring his meal down,” he drawled.

“I can take care of that,” you offered.

“S’fine. I wanna have a word with him anyway.” He put his hand on your shoulder and gave it a friendly squeeze, giving you a small smile. “Yer doin’ enough for him. Be careful.”

“Okay,” you agreed, nodding. “See you later.”

When you turned around, you noticed Negan had been watching the interaction carefully. There was a thoughtful look on his face, but when you simply returned and got back to work, he joined you again in silence. You continued on for another hour or so, managing to clear quite a wide area by the time you needed to get Negan back to his cell for a late lunch. You walked beside him, both of you now dirty and plenty sweaty, and your hand strayed to the handle of your pistol again absently.

Negan noticed and broke the silence that had stretched for what felt like a long time. “You’re a fuckin’ great shot with that thing,” he said, nodding toward the gun.

“What?” you asked, turning to look at him, puzzled.

“I said, ‘you’re a great shot’,” he repeated. You still looked confused. “I noticed… during the war,” he said. “I mean—I noticed you but also your aim.” You stared at him, your brow furrowed. “You almost blew Simon’s fuckin’ head off,” he said with a laugh. “If he hadn’t flinched at the last second…” Negan let out a low whistle.

“How’d you know that was me?” you asked.

He shrugged. “Like I said, I noticed you.”

You looked… unsettled? Uneasy? Negan couldn’t quite define it, but there was some sort of tension in the air as you walked him back the rest of the way and finally locked him inside his cell again.

He gripped onto the bars and watched you turn away before he managed to get your name out. You turned toward him again, the high arch of your brow inquiring. “Thanks,” he said. “For today. It was the best fuckin’ day I’ve had in a while,” he admitted.

You gave him a baffled look. “I made you work outside in the sun all morning,” you laughed.

“Yeah… but I wasn’t alone. And I’ve had waaaaay worse company. Just—even if you decide you can’t do more than today, I want you to know that it mattered to me. Thanks.”

That look was on your face again, some mix of surprise and bewilderment. Finally, you sighed. “Daryl’s gonna bring you lunch. I’ll see you later, okay, Negan?”

He nodded, still gripping onto the cold, iron bars of his cell, and watched you walk out.

A short time later, Negan had washed his hands and splashed cool water from his basin over his face, dabbing at it with his small scratchy towel, when he heard the door open again. He looked up to see Daryl coming in with a tray of food and a scowl. He set it down by the slot at the bottom of the cell door and pushed it roughly through with the toe of his boot, almost spilling the water cup. Daryl’s expression didn’t change. It was stony and guarded.

Negan eyed him and then wandered over to grab the tray. He did feel hungry for once, something that had been rare for quite some time. When he straightened up, Daryl’s blue eyes were narrow and stinging.

Negan grabbed the apple off his tray and took a big bite. It was sweet and crunchy, satisfying and refreshing after being in the sun all morning. “Something on your mind, Daryl?” Negan asked, a faint smile on his lips.

Daryl stepped closer, right up to the bars. “Yeah. One thing. If ya fuck up, if ya try to hurt Y/N, if ya pull anythin’ I dun like, I don’t give a shit what Michonne or anybody else is tryin’ to do—I don’t give a shit about your rehab, I’ll put ya in the fuckin’ ground. Got it?”

That smile was still on Negan’s face, annoying the shit out of Daryl.

“I mean it, Negan. Ya hear me?”

“Loud and clear,” he said, taking another bite.

“Good,” he growled, and the archer left.

[loganlermanstanaccount]

Daze

(AO3 Mirror) (Main Masterlist) (Event Masterlist) (Event Info)

-> part of my 6k followers event!

Tape 1 // Side A Track 02: Daze - Steve Lacy Miguel O'Hara x First Love

summary: You pick out an outfit for New Year's. Miguel helps where he can.

warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, love confessions, PIV, nipple sucking (m-receiving). 18+, Minors DNI

a/n: this is so cheesy and lovey-dovey and self-indulgent. happy new year's everyone <3

wc: 2.3k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey (you put me in a)

Daze (each and every)

Day (so in love with everything you do, I'm really feelin' you) 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Miguel doesn’t think he’s built for love.

Really, well and truly; it fits across his frame wrong. He tucks it into a stiff waistband like the collared shirts his mamá made him wear to church. Maybe if he pressed it out - lain on your sheets like those pretty dresses you’ll drape on your shoulders - it would sit right. Settle across him like skin - something real. Human. And like Pinocchio on a stage; he rattles around your bedroom, searching for the strings. 

If you see him in the corner of your eye, you don’t react. Miguel tries to make himself look busy, flattening silky fabric with his hands. He’s distracted, thinking about puppets and widowers and love stuck between sharp teeth like blood and sinew. The more he ponders, the more resolute he becomes: Miguel doesn’t think he’s built for love.

Oh, but… you. Love looks like a dream on you, he thinks. You’re in front of a mirror, humming and hawing; tilting your head this way and that. It takes his breath away; lip tucked under teeth, delicate hands spread flat on the fabric, the way your lashes flutter in the light. It pools out from under you like dappled hues on a summer day: love, warm and ochre-tinted around your form. You… you were built for it; made to be loved. Like the first time he met you - and it always feels like the first time, for some reason - he’s drawn in, chasing your smile like a flash of light across the sky. Fireworks couldn’t compare, he thinks: flashbangs and roman candles, sparklers and their gentle fizz and crackle - they pale in comparison to the way your eyes shine when you see him.

“What do you think?” You turn, chewing at your cheek. It makes his heart skip a beat, the way you look at him.

He blinks, thinking back to the last time you wore it. One of your first proper dates, and he had opened the door to a vision. You’d look beautiful in it, you always do. “You look–”

“It’s not too plain? I like the fabric but I’m too sure about the waist.”

“Mi vida, it’s–”

“I could go with the green one…” You pick up a bundle of fabric by your feet. “But I think it’s too revealing. Dramatic. Too many ruffles, like a prom dress.”

He hums, thinking back to when he had bought you that dress. How you had looked at it in a shop window; wide, forlorn eyes like a baby deer; and the way you lit up when he arrived with it at your doorstep. “Baby, you could–”

“What do you think your coworker’s will be wearing?” You turn to him suddenly, eyes bright. “I need to see the invite again, want to make sure I’ve got the right dress code. It’s… I mean… I should look classy, right?”

“If you want.” He says, stepping closer.

You’re huffing, rummaging through the depths of your wardrobe. 

“That’s not a real answer, Mig.” 

He pads to your side, and you feel a hand curl around the fat of your waist. It's warm, poking underneath the little tank top you've been wearing. His fingertips, impossibly rough and soft at the same time, rub circles into hip bone. 

“Baby.”

You ignore him, grunting with frustration. 

“You're overthinking.” He says it soft, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

Steadfast, you continue to rifle through the wardrobe. You're stubborn, this much he knows, pressing gentle kisses into the juncture of your jaw. 

Eventually, you soften, hands on his as he hugs you from behind. 

“I just–” You start, turning around to give him a look akin to a half-drowned puppy. “I want them to like me.”

“You brighten up every room, mi vida. Why wouldn't they like you?” He smooths away a deepening furrow by your brow, kissing it better. 

And when you melt, sinking into his arms and burrowing your face into the crook of his neck, all he can hear is the pounding of his heart. 

“Don't laugh.” You say it into the side of his neck, creating warmth that blooms from his chest to fingertips. 

“Never.” He means it. Of course, he means it. 

“I want to look like I belong next to you.”

It makes him short circuit. Miguel blinks; once, twice. He blinks a third time, gently pushing you up by your shoulders. 

“You-” He's incredulous, hardly able to process the implication of what you've just said. “You want to look like you belong next to me?”

Shakily, you nod. 

“You're amazing. Smart and kind and talented… and if they don't know it already at work then they're idiots. So,” You chew your lip, as if mulling over the right words.” I know it's just New Year's, and it's a stupid work thing, and you probably don't care… but I'm so proud of you. I want to show you off, tonight. I want to shine like you do, Mig.”

It makes him smile, thinking back to all the times he gushes about you at work. Usually quiet, generally reserved; but everything reminds him of you. Your hair, your smile, the very first time you laughed at a stupid joke of his. The way your shoulders sag after a long day, the way you curl up to his side on the couch everytime, without fail. 

Your favourite foods, your favourite colour, the way you marvel at his long lashes in bed or poke his frown lines in the morning. The gentle way in which you love him. The way he would bend over backwards to make you feel just a fraction of the love he has for you. 

“Oh God.” You groan. “Don't look at me like that. I said… don't laugh… I specifically told you not to–”

He sweeps you off your feet, carrying you to bed slung over his shoulder. In a heap of giggles, you land on soft sheets with a gentle thump, chasing away cold hands pressed all over your body. 

Miguel tosses off the clothes littered across the bed, whilst you lunge for your precious silks. 

You're laughing, writhing at the strong hands that pull you closer to his chest. “What's gotten into you?”

He's breathless, pressing kisses to the fat of your thighs. His hands travel up, hooking underneath tiny shorts. Like a man possessed, he massages the rise and fall of plush flesh, eyes trained on yours as his mouth dips low. Lower, into the crease of skin where your thighs meet your gorgeous folds, where soft cotton underwear is eaten up by your cunt. 

“Mig!” You sit up on your haunches, hand in his hair to pull him up. 

He looks at you, entranced, red-brown eyes sparkling as he rests his head on your thigh. 

“I love you.” 

And he says it like the first breath on a cold winter’s day; letting the words curl into the air like crystal and vapour. Gentle, oh-so soft.

“Oh.” It knocks the wind right out of your sails. “Well… I love you too.”

He shakes his head, sitting up in a display that has you scratching your head.

“No, baby. I love you.”

You frown. “That’s what I said, isn’t it?” 

“I love you.” He grabs your hands, pulling them to his chest. “I love you. I love you I love you I love-”

“Miguel.” You say it slowly, cradling his head in your palms, tilting him this way and that to examine his face - currently cracked into a dopey grin. Unconsciously, you brush away a stray curl that springs up by his forehead. “I love you. But I don’t really understand what’s going on. Did you take something? Hit your head? Do I need to call Gabi?  Because he really wouldn’t–”

“I went to the mall about a month ago, after — I think it was the day after we had dinner at Pesci’s and you said that you haven’t had a good churro in years–”

“No, I said the last time I had a churro was at Six Flags–”

He looks at you blankly. “Same thing, babe. So I went shopping for ingredients, went to that market, passed the shop that sells the weird looking plushies and then…” He takes a breath. “I passed the hardware store. Key cutting for half-off, or something, and I didn't even think about it. Just did it. Got a copy made of my keys and put it in a little ring box that's been burning a hole in my pocket for God knows how long.”

“I've been waiting for a good time to ask. I mean… I thought it was too soon but Gabi thinks it's time and Pete says it's not soon enough. And you've already got half your clothes at mine, and your mugs, and that fucking… rat’s nest of a jewellery plate that I gave you and you refuse to throw away.”

“It's pretty, Mig.”

“Lyla made me go to a pottery class once and I will never hear the end of it. Say the word and I will smash it into a million pieces.” You giggle and it makes him smile even wider. “You said you've always wanted a cat, and your building doesn't allow pets but mine does. Which is such a shame, because you'd be a great cat mom. The best.”

He gives you a weak smile, voice shaking imperceptibly. But you notice - because of course you do. 

“I love you so much it hurts. Sometimes I lie awake at night and stare at you like a fucking creep because I don't know what I did to get so lucky. How did I find someone as brilliant and beautiful and bright as you? And you want me? When you could have anyone else?”

“So I'm asking now - and there's no pressure, of course,” He takes a deep breath. “Will you move in with me? Please?”

His sincerity bowls you over, knocks your hair back like a hurricane-force wind. Miguel, stoic and ever the voice of reason, spilling his guts out to you in a sickly sweet daze. He's usually so forthright and upfront - and the image of him tossing and turning about the perfect time to ask you makes tears swell at the corner of your eyes. God, and then you're laughing; lost in gasping peals of giggles as he looks on, confused. 

“You…” You wipe away fat tears. “You think the best time to ask me is when I've got my pants halfway down my legs?”

Oh. Heat rises to his cheeks, and he buries his head in the covers. 

Gently, you nudge him. “That's a yes, Miguel, if you couldn't tell.”

When he smiles; wide and lopsided and exposing deep dimples either side of his face; you wrap him up in a hug that turns carnivorous, pressing obnoxious kisses everywhere you can. Eventually, you toss off your shorts and wrap bare legs around his torso, flipping him over with your hands planted by his sides. You put your lips on his, hungrily, chasing that deep, rumbling laugh that always sets you on fire. 

You kiss it into skin, making sure he'll carry it around for as long he can: love - caring and unquestioning and blinding. It wraps around him like a well-worn sweater, the slightly-itchy kind his mamá would give him for Christmas. For the first time in his life, Miguel realises; it fits. 

It makes him swallow roughly, and open his mouth wider, slipping his tongue to those spots he knows you like. It makes him shudder and shake and press you up against him impossibly close, grinding his hard length into the thin fabric at your cunt. 

Before he knows it, you've pushed the gusset aside, enveloping him between your plush walls and sinking down on his cock with incredible heat. It burns, the way you touch him, fingertips tracing his torso as you lift up his shirt. Miguel doesn't know where to look as you peel it off him – back arched deliciously as you latch onto his nipple. 

“F-Fuck.” He stutters, one hand gripping plush thigh and the other at the back of your neck. You’re messy - and wet - slobbering at his chest as he grinds up into your pussy. 

He's so, so close in no time at all. Your cunt flutters around him like you know, and then you're both falling; sinking into each other's bones in a wispy haze. 

Settling in his chest, panting and fucked out, you look up. You trace his wispy lashes, stunned by the way light kisses its peripheries, caught in golden flecks in his irises. 

“I don't like it when you talk about yourself like that.” 

You put an ear to his ribcage, steadied by its slow thump. 

“Like what?” He says it lightly, hoping the slight shake to his voice doesn't betray him. 

“Like you don't deserve to be loved.” Rolling over, you wrap your legs around his middle once more. You want to look him in the eye when you say it, so there is no misinterpreting your next words. “Because you do. Because you are.”

Miguel cups your cheek with a tenderness that makes your heart splinter. He kisses you with that same tenderness, stumbling over himself to show what his words can't. He’ll fall asleep to the gentle rise and fall of your chest, tucking his head into the crook of your neck. He’ll wrap himself around you like two pieces of a puzzle; like you were made for one another.

If Miguel isn’t built for love, then this feeling that bubbles up in his ribcage must be something else: spreading to his fingertips and toes like hot chocolate and fresh churros whilst you watch the fireworks, light fizzing and crackling across a cool night. If Miguel isn’t built for love, then the ring he’s wrapped up in a sock won’t make its way onto your left hand during a gentle night like this one.

He surveys the mess you’ve made of the bedroom. Dresses and bedsheets and fancy shoes all over the floor, and you’ve fallen asleep in the midst of it all. Miguel pulls you closer; clearing his head of widowers and puppets and love woven into silk sheets and scraggly blankets all the same.

Oh well, he thinks. He’s got the rest of his life with you to figure that out. 

_

_

_

[fangirl-dot-com]

Oscar Piastri and Lando Norris - It's not Orange, It's Papaya

Welcome to the second instalment of my spinoff series – Besties for the Resties! I really thought that I could maybe have made a single chapter for each driver, BUT I feel like Oscar and reader would be too introverted together and the story would be a bunch of lines about silence and them staring at each other. They really needed Lando to be able to get talking and to banter. 

I myself am very introverted and I freeze up around people that I don’t know. But when I’m with my extroverted friends, I have a completely different side! I don’t explicitly say this but I do base the reader off of myself most of the time. I am a Virgo, I am from Texas, and I just turned 20, so many of the lines I give the reader are things that I have said or would say. That being, do you think that the reader is a bit all over the place or is she a good solid character who acts in very realistic ways?

I hope you enjoy and please don’t forget to comment! I love reading everything that you all have to say about the story! It makes me happy to see that you’re enjoying it! (Also comment if you want to be added to the tag list!) Much love – author! 

Of course the elevator had to be broken, on today of all days. You sludged up the stairs, leaving puddles to follow where you stepped. Once you hauled yourself to the top of the stairs, you stomped over to your apartment door. Why Christian wanted you to come to London for an extra training session during rainiest week of the break, you didn’t know. 

You were supposed to be at Max’s house right now, eating dinner with his family. But noooooo. Max didn’t even have to come either. Something about how your test time was deleted, or something like that. You could barely hear Christian over the ocean when he called you in the middle of a beach day. 

Your hand dug through your pocket, searching for the keys as you approached your door. But, your fingers never came into contact with the smooth metal piece. You flipped your pocket inside out, and all that fell from it was lint. 

“Great. Just perfect,” you muttered as you looked at your door. You turned your head. Maybe Logan was here. You shuffled over and knocked. Tiredly, you rested your head against the nice wood. 

After a few moments, you didn’t hear anything, which brought out another sigh. Of course he wouldn’t be here. He was probably back in the states for the break. 

You were definitely making a statement by dripping all over the floor. Maybe you should lay down, floor time always helped. As you were about to lift your head, the door suddenly opened up. 

You didn’t have enough time to react and found yourself sprawled in between Logan’s flat and the door frame. 

“Logan am I so glad that you’re…You’re not Logan,” you looked up and were met with the sight of none other than Oscar Piastri. 

He looked down at you, “Good to see you too Y/n.” He put out a hand for you to take. You gently placed your hand in his and he hauled you up. There was now a massive you-shaped puddle on the ground. 

You looked down at it, “Sorry for the mess.” Oscar crossed his arms. 

“Why are you knocking on Logan’s door at,” he looked over at the clock on the wall, “5 p.m.?” 

You sheepishly grinned, “Well, I may or may not have forgotten my keys back at Milton.” Your hand scratched your head. 

Oscar just stared at you. You stared back. 

“Why are you here?” you quizzed. You knew that Logan and Oscar were best of friends, but didn’t realize that Oscar had a key to the flat. 

He sighed, “Lando invited me to be in the Quadrant Christmas video and the filming is this week.” He ushered you to come more into the room so that he could close the door. “But Lando graciously forgot that Max Fewtrell only has one extra bed. So Lando took it and I called Logan to see if I could stay here.” 

“Ah,” you nodded and looked down at yourself. 

Oscar suddenly sputtered, “I will go get you a towel and then see if Logan has something in his drawers.” He quickly left, but then turned back around. You raised an eyebrow. 

“Yes?” 

“Do you know where everything is? I guess you’d be over here more than me.” You gave him a reassuring smile and walked deeper into the house. You had taken your shoes off before stepping on the carpet as to try to not drench everything. 

In the bathroom, you found some towels. “Here,” you handed one to Oscar. “Could you wipe the puddle I left at the front while I change?” He nodded and disappeared down the hallway. You closed the door behind him and peeled of your soaked outfit. 

You took some sweats and a random t-shirt from a drawer and put them on. You bundled your wet clothes and threw them in the wash as you walked towards the living space. It seemed like Oscar had already cleaned everything up since the towel was now hanging on the back on a chair. You ran another towel over your hair, drying it to the best of your abilities. 

Oscar walked back in. The two of you stood in silence before you fished out your phone. You pressed on the uber app, but a notification told you that the roads were flooded and you’d have to wait until the morning. You sighed, which peaked Oscar’s interest. 

“Everything ok?” he asked, Australian accent filled with concern. 

You showed him the screen. “Everything is flooded. I can’t get back to get my keys.” Oscar looked deep in thought. 

“You could always stay here?” It came out more like a question. 

“I don’t want to trouble you,” you fiddled with your fingers. Before now, you had never said more than ten words to the Aussie. Sure, he was Logan’s friend, but he wasn’t your friend. You were about to say something, when a knock resonated in the small entrance. The two of you whipped to look at it. You both waited in silence before another knock sounded. 

You raised an eyebrow and mouthed, “Are you expecting anyone?” Oscar shook his head. He quickly moved you behind him before looking out the peephole. He groaned before opening the door. 

There, standing in the doorway, was a soaked Lando Norris. You wanted to laugh. 

So you did. 

The two boys looked at you while you tried to calm yourself down. Lando brushed past Oscar and made his way into the flat. 

“By all means, welcome in,” Oscar sarcastically said. He locked the door and turned to look at him. You had finally been able to calm yourself down. 

“Hi Lando,” you greeted before turning around to enter the kitchen. 

“Uh, hi?” 

Oscar hit the back of his head, “What happened to you staying at Max’s?” 

Lando shrugged. “His girlfriend was over and I wasn’t about to watch them suck faces.” You snorted. 

“Aha, felt.” The three of you kind of just watched each other. You were the first one to talk. “Lando, do you want a towel?” 

He breathed a sigh of relief before answering, “Yes please.” 

You turned and headed back into the direction of Logan’s bedroom. Thankfully there was one more towel. You also grabbed another pair of sweats and a t-shit. You reemerged from the hallway and handed the items to Lando. 

“Bathroom is down the hallway to the left.” Your head jerked in the direction. Lando went around you and disappeared. You looked back at Oscar. 

“So. Sleepover?” A smirk grew on your face, before your cheeks got hot and you panicked. “Unless you’d rather me go see if I can find the landlord to get another key. I wouldn’t want to make you or Lando uncomfortable?” You continued to ramble until Oscar lightly hit your face. That shut you up. 

He rubbed his face. “No, Y/n it’s fine. Besides it’s getting late and I don’t think Logan would like it if I told you to leave.” You nodded as Lando finally came back, clothes in a heaping wet mess in his arms. You told him to put them next to the washer and that you’d start his clothes when yours were done. 

Lando clapped his hands. “What’s the plan?” 

You went to respond but Oscar beat you to it, “Sleepover.” You watched as Lando’s lips turned upwards. 

“Hold on!” you yelled and watched Oscar and Lando jump in their place. 

The two boys watched as you made your way to the kitchen. You leaned down to look what was in the fridge. “Jackpot. Bless you and you Americanness Logan.” You brought out three dark red cans and handed them to each boy.  

They looked at the cans with the white font. 

“What is this?” Lando asked, popping the can. 

You gawked at them and smacked you head. “You’re telling me. You’ve been friends with Logan and he hasn’t given you Dr. Pepper!” They both shook their heads. “Well, it’s about time you tried it.” Two more pops sounded as you and Oscar opened your cans. 

“Is it alcoholic?” Oscar asked, taking a sip of the sweet drink. 

You looked at the both of them, “Guys, I’m twenty. And where I’m from, you have to be at least 21 to partake in such adultish things such as drinking alcohol.” You took a sip and closed your eyes. You could feel the freedom seep into your veins. 

The boys looked at you strangely before Lando spoke in a childish voice, ‘Aw so you’re just a baby.” 

“Says the one who acts like a 5-year-old,” you quipped. Oscar choked on his drink while Lando stared at you. Oscar quickly wiped his face. “Do you like it?” 

Lando nodded, “It’s very sweet.” 

“That’s the taste of freedom boys.” 

“Y/n, none of us are under communism,” Oscar pointed out. 

“But you both have a monarchy who makes all the decisions.” 

“That’s Parliament,” Lando coughed, a smirk adorning his face. 

“Tomato, tomato.” You waved your hand. “I think Logan has a severe addition to frozen pizzas. I could make one real fast?” Their stomachs answered for them. 

You got to work by preheating the oven. When that was done, you carefully took off the plastic (not wanting to melt it onto the pizza), and placed the circle on a baking sheet. By now, the two McLaren drivers had moved to the couch. After setting the timer, you also joined them, but sat on the floor. 

You looked them up and down at you sipped. “It’s weird seeing the two of you not in orange.” 

Oscar slapped his face. “Here we go.” 

Lando looked like you had insulted him, his whole family, and his cow. He sat up straighter and crossed his legs. 

“It’s not orange, it’s papaya,” he emphasized the syllables. 

“It falls into the orange category of colors,” you bit back. 

“Then it would be called orange then. Oh wait, it’s not.” 

“Aren’t you a sassy little dude,” you peered at him. “It’s giving Scorpio.” Lando lit up like a Christmas tree. Oscar again, face palmed. 

“Please let’s not start this,” Oscar groaned. However, you and Lando didn’t listen to him. The two of you began to discuss star signs and what characteristics came with them. He was surprised when you told him that you were a Virgo. 

“Aren’t they shy?” 

You looked down at your fingers, “I’m shy until I get comfortable. Believe me, when I first saw you guys, I was shaking like a leaf. I still do. And if you put me into a room full of strangers I will find a way out so help me.” 

Lando dramatically brought you into a hug, his face pressed against yours. His hand came up to pat your head as you shot help-me-eyes at Oscar. “It’s ok little introvert, your extrovert is here to protect you.” You shoved him off when you heard the oven beep. The pizza had turned out perfectly. 

Not wanting to do dishes, you three ate off of paper towels. You picked up the remote as you ate a bite. “What movie should we watch? Logan has Disney Plus.” 

Oscar rolled his eyes, “Yeah I know. You two finished Cars without me.” 

“It’s not like we can’t start it over.” You turned to Lando. “Have you seen Cars 2?” 

Lando scoffed, “Of course I’ve seen Cars 2.”  

You held up your hands in mock defeated as you turned the movie on, “You seem uncultured.” You missed the look that Lando gave you. 

Like it always is, Cars 2 was fabulous. Lando was the first one to speak during the movie. His finger was pointed at the large TV. 

“Look its Charles.”

You thought he was pointing at Lightning McQueen, but Francesco. You and Oscar wheezed at the revelation. 

“But Charles is Lightning though,” your hands now pointed at the flashy red car now on screen. 

Oscar took a sip from his Dr. Pepper, “Lando would be the Volkswagen.” 

You gasped, “You’re right. He’s such a Filmore. Logan would be Sarge.” The two boys laughed out loud. 

The three of you screamed as you saw Lewis’s car come up. Lando quickly took a picture and promised to send it him. 

The movie continued before Lando spoke again, “Yeah, Max is definitely Mater.” 

“I know right,” you said, munching on another slice of pizza. “What car is Oscar though, none of them really fit him.” Oscar gave you an offended look. 

“He’d be Axelrod.” 

“I beg your pardon,” Oscar whipped his head around to look at Lando. 

“Well you would. I swear, if you were planning our demise, no one would think it’d be you.” 

You jumped in, “Either him or the Professor.” Oscar grimaced and shook his head. 

“I’ll take Axelrod.” 

“Y/n you’d be McMissile.” You fist pumped. 

“Why does she get to be the cool character?”  

“Because I’m better than you?” That earned you a scoff from the Aussie. 

“Sure. Just because you’re going to be driving a rocket ship doesn’t mean you’re better.” 

“Ladies, ladies, ladies, can we quiet down, the movie is still going on,” the Brit complained. You and Oscar leaned back and continued to watch the movie. You’re pretty sure that Lando was in tears at the end, and you and Oscar couldn’t help but tease. You went to change the movie to another one, when yet another knock sounded on the door. 

The three of you froze and slowly turned to look at the door, as if it would move. The knock sounded again. You and Oscar pushed Lando closer to the entrance. He gave you both a stink eye before looking opening the door wide open. 

“Christian!” you squealed and ran over to the older man. He was smart enough to have brought a rain coat and jacket. 

He held out your keys, “I think you forgot something.” He looked over your shoulder and stared at the two McLaren drivers. “Giving our secrets away Y/n?” 

You looked over a smirked, “As if they could use them properly in their tractor.” The two boys rolled their eyes in sync. Christian bid you goodbye and closed the door behind them. You noticed a sad look on the guys’ faces. 

You shrugged and sank down into the couch once again, a blanket over your lap. You looked at them as they continued to stand. With your eyebrow raised, you questioned, “Why are you two still standing there?” 

They shrugged and joined you. 

Lando looked at you, “I think we thought that you’d want to go to your flat now.” 

“Well boys, I was promised a sleepover. And a sleep over I will get. Now, what movie are we going to watch? I say Spider-man Homecoming. Lando is it true that Tom Holland is going to play you in a movie?” 

“My lips are sealed.” 

“That’s ok. He’s not called the Spoiler King for nothing!”    

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ATTENTION: if you were not tagged, it means that I was not able to add you. I will reply to your comment if I was unable to. Please check your settings and then message me to try again after! Thank you <3

So we have met the tag list maximum of 50 people - does anyone know how I could add more??

[grimm-writings]

YIPPEE YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN AGAIN can i get a scenario where chilchuck slowly falls in love with a gender fluid reader? maybe he’s confused about their presentation at first, but then finds himself attracted to their masc and fem sides :0

two sides of the same coin

…ft! chilchuck x genderfluid! reader

…tags! fluff, end of manga spoilers, implied bisexual chilchuck, the mortifying ordeal of having to explain your identity to someone not in the know

…wc! 935

…notes! this request makes me so happy, because i’m also genderfluid!!! i’ll be using primarily my own experiences with my gender here, so i hope it’s to your liking! happy pride month!!! <3 

“So, you’re… everything.”

“Yes! I guess you can say that.  Although it’s more like it varies.”  Your hands move in the air to communicate your point.  “Sometimes I’m a girl, sometimes a boy.  But I’m also sometimes both, or sometimes neither!  Or maybe I’m partially a girl and partially neither, or I’m partially a boy and partially neither.  And then, on the rare occasion, I am everything!”

You can only watch in real time as Chilchuck slowly loses brain cells.  You’d fear that he may not be able to readily accept you, same as the rest of your party.  The reaction was positive enough (though Marcille and Senshi particularly need time to adapt properly) but there’s still lingering confusion.

Chilchuck slowly nods, though you can tell he isn’t exactly grasping it yet.  “So… What am I meant to call you?”

He’s trying to keep his language respectful.  That’s more than you can say for others you came out to.  You can tell Chilchuck is trying, even if this is unfamiliar ground for him.  He might know enough about different romantic and sexual preferences, and maybe more simple means of gender transition.  Your identity is… hard to explain to someone not in the know, though.

“Just ask,” you reply.  “I might have some indicators in clothing that could help.  Like…”  You gesture towards your current outfit.  “I’m presenting pretty masculine at the moment, yeah?”

“Yeah…” You don’t miss how Chilchuck eyes you up and down.  “So I should keep an eye out for how you dress?”

“Precisely!”  You snap your fingers into a point at Chilchuck’s face.

“Don’t do that.”

You drop your hand.  “Sorry.”

Chilchuck leans back on his seat, folding his arms over his chest.  If he was being honest, this only makes his heart confused.  He was already more used to you presenting masculine throughout your dungeon crawl.  You did express occasional disdain for your current dress, but can’t do much about it.  That in of itself made him wonder if he liked guys.  Now you’re saying you’re a girl sometimes?  Or neither?  Or everything?  He can’t even imagine you in a dress without his mind screaming at him in embarrassment.

You take in Chilchuck’s expression.  Brow furrowed, clearly trying to process your explanation.  He’s definitely accepting of it, just confused.  If there was a way you can explain it better to him…

An idea flashes through your mind with an “ah!”

Chilchuck perks up at your sudden yelp, blinking.  “Something the matter?  Wh– Hey, what are you doing?!”

You had practically scampered on all fours to where your travel bags were, digging around for something.  A few seconds pass before… “GOT ONE!”

Returning to Chilchuck’s side, you hold up one of the gold coins in… someone’s possession.  The half-foot cocks an eyebrow at it.  “What’re you getting at here?”

“This coin is still the same coin when it’s flat in my hand like this,” you begin, before flipping it over.  “Or when it lands on tails.”

Chilchuck watches as you place the coin on your thumb, and flip it up into the air only to let it land randomly, 50/50 chance each time.

“I can’t control whether it lands on heads or tails.  Sometimes it does something really peculiar and stands on its side, or it’s on a slant in some way.”

You watch as the gears turn in Chilchuck’s mind.  “So you can’t really control how your gender works, sometimes you just… feel a certain way?”

“Exactly!  My dysphoria – that’s the term for feeling uncomfortable – can fluctuate, but it’s still the same coin.  It’s still…”

“It’s still you,” Chilchuck finishes, turning his head to look up at you with understanding finally brightening in his eyes.  You can’t help but fluster a little.

It’d be a while since then until you’d make it back to the surface.  Everyone is as accommodating as ever to use the right pronouns when you tell them what for.  It soon comes naturally to just let you live as you are.  It’s welcoming and warm with everyone.

A nice spring breeze blows through your skirt as you make your way down to the entrance of the forest where the feast takes place.  You can spot your party from a mile away, your boots hitting the dirt path as you run over.

“Leave some for me!”  You exclaim in greeting, causing your friends to turn their heads.  Marcille gasps in wonder as she takes in your appearance, meanwhile Izutsumi makes a small noise in surprise.

Chilchuck is stunned into silence, and you can just tell the tips of his ears are going red before he keels over and spits out his drink onto the grass.  “W-What are you wearing?!”

“A dress, Chilchuck,” you quip back, sitting in between him and Marcille.  “Laios still being harassed by Yaad and the rest?”

“Hang on, we’re not moving on from this so fast!  Let me look at you!”  Marcille adjusts herself so she can inspect your look.  “I didn’t think you’d suit a dress so well!  Where’d you get that petticoat?”

You are about to answer when Izutsumi interrupts; “you look so… different,” she relays.

A sheepish chuckle escapes you, as you turn to Chilchuck, who has since been staring at you.  He blinks once you perceive him and glances away.  “You’re still you.  It…  You look very… you. It's nice.”

You can’t help but laugh at his flustered attitude, leaning down to kiss the top of his head as he gives out to you.

You are accepted, and you are loved.  What place could possibly be better than here?

[lullxby]

I’m on my knees begging for a jealous percy x fem!reader please 🙏🙏

:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ ALWAYS BEEN HERE (p.j.)

summary : in which percy and y/n din’t notice each other, even though they’ve always been there.

w.c. : about 1.5k

a/n : first writing in a few months! there’ll probably (definitely) be a part 2 for this but i just needed tk get smth out 😭

requests r still open!

wattpad: poet1cmystery

warning(s) : none!

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*ੈ✩‧₊˚

percy shouldn’t care if you were flirting with another guy. even if that guy was taller, stronger, and older. he shouldn’t care. he really really shouldn’t. the two of you hated each other.

that being said, he couldn’t draw his eyes away from you and luke castellan’s bodies, so close you were practically touching. you laughed at every one of the older boy’s jokes, your lips rounding around your teeth and you smiled widely.

“gods, they’re all over each other,” the boy scoffed, looking to his best friend, tearing his stare away from the sight across the campfire flames.

grover, as unphased as ever, just shrugs. “yeah. have been for a couple weeks now,” he says, shoving a perfectly-roasted marshmallow into his mouth, “��m happy for them. they seem to like each other.”

“yeah, a lot.” percy adds with a roll of his eyes.

“i don’t get it!” he continues, “why are they so out and the open about it?! that’s too much pda.”

he would act this way with anyone, right? yeah. you guys just shouldn’t be on top of each other like that.

“percy, they’re barely touching,” his satyr friend points out, his voice flat.

“so?- still! grover, you’re supposed to be on my side,” percy insisted.

“alright,” the overall passive boy supports, “i guess they’re kinda close, especially in public.”

“exactly!” percy agreed, enthusiastic while keeping his voice low.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

the next time percy saw you and luke together was at the arena. you and percy were sparring, your swords clashing together as sweat fell down the both of you.

suddenly, luke came into frame. he wasn’t in the way, or even in the main part where people would spar. he was sort of off to the sides, but close enough to distract percy.

you were able to pin the boy down, cheering in triumph and getting off of him.

he blinked, his brain catching up to what had just happened. he lay still on the dirt, looking up at you.

“dude, are you gonna get up?”

except it wasn’t your voice, it was luke’s.

luke stood over him, just mere inches away from where you were standing. why did you guys always have to be like that?

it was like the gods were trying to torture him.

luke wasn’t even a good person, not even close to good enough for you. you were sweet, and funny, and you always thought of others. maybe you weren’t that way withh percy, but he wasn’t blind.

“need a hand?” you asked, extending your arms towards him.

he grabbed it silently, pulling himself up.

his mouth opened to say something, to relieve himself of the thoughts swirling through his head. though, he didn’t get the chance to, considering luke came up to you, slinging an arm around your shoulder.

“c’mon,” the boy said, his tone slightly harsher than percy preferred.

that stayed with anyone. nobody should be talked to like that, even if he constantly butted heads with them.

surpising not only you, but his self aswell, he shot you an apologetic glance.

you just let it slide off, as if you hadn’t seen anything at all.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

later on that week, he saw you and luke arguing about something.

the two of you shouted at each other, words percy couldn’t pick up. luke was looking st you, a flame in his eye, as if he didn’t care at all.

percy knew you saw it to, because you held your hand up, then stormed off.

he couldn’t lie, he felt bad. you didn’t deserve that. you deserved someone better, someone who would care.

that clearly wasn’t luke.

should he comfort you? you looked upset.

he should atleast ask if you were alright.

so that’s what he did.

he slowly approached you, as if you would turn and get angry at him for doing so. you were turned away, your back facing him as you chewed anxiously on your nail.

“y/n?” he called out, standing a couple feet away from you.

you spun on your heel, your tear-brimmed eyes not going unnoticed by percy. he didn’t comment on it, wanting to at least let you have something.

“i uh, heard what happened. you alright?” the boy asked, his hand reaching up to awkwardly scratch the back of his neck, awaiting your response.

he watched as your facade changed, pulling your hand away from your lips sighing deeply.

“yeah, i guess. he was an asshole, so i mean, it was bound to happen,” you said, trying to assure you weren’t sad. your voice cracked as you spoke, something you tried to cover with a small laugh.

after years of arguing with you, percy had gotten used to all the small things about you. how you were when you were lying, when you were sad, angry, anything.

so, he said the first thing that came to mind.

“want a, uh, hug or something?”

that wasn’t weird, right?

of course not.

he was just comforting you. he’d do it with anyone, obviously. he wasn’t a monster. he wasn’t about to just let you stand there in yiur sadness.

you just nodded, hesitantly wrapping your arms around the boy’s neck.

the embrace was a stiff, but comforting nonetheless. it was good to know there was at least someone who believed you and din’t blame you for the split.

you knew in just a few hours time people would start asking luke what happened, and fall victim to his charm, just as you had.

percy waited until you pulled away first, not wanting you to feel like he was just doing this to do it. he truly didn’t mind holding you for longer, and over a few seconds he tightened his arms, making it feel more natural.

after a moment, you unraveled your arms from him, sending him a soft smile to accompany your soft words.

“thank you, percy.”

he took in your appearance, his eyes roaming all around your face. a small tear had made its’ way down your cheek, something that he didn’t fail to notice, but also didn’t want to comment on.

after all, you two weren’t close. what would he do if you started crying? he didn’t have time to think about it, as you turned and walked quickly towards your cabin, as if you had been itching to get away.

he saw you next at the campfire, a few days later. considering the amount of time that had passed, he just assumed that you were taking time to comprehend everything.

when you sat across the fire from him, you looked completely fine. as if nothing had happened.

your friends swarmed around you, their faces lighting up at the sight of you. percy assumed they hadn’t seen you either.

you laughed and chatted with the other half-bloods around you, but it all looked strained to percy. maybe he just wasn’t used to you smiling in any way except sarcastically, or the stuff with like was still hitting you hard.

luke.

percy’s mind roamed. what had you even seen in him? he couldn’t have been that funny. and he certainly wasn’t the nicest guy around.

was it his looks? percy asked himself. he knew luke was attractive, but that couldn’t be it.

his thoughts vanished as he heard someone say your name.

they seemed to do that now a days. he chalked it up to you going through rough time.

he heard your name again, and saw you sort of pretending you didn’t hear it. your conversation with your friends continued, not paying any mind to someone trying to get your attention.

rude, the boy thought, his previous feelings for you resurfacing.

his negativity towards you dissolved as he saw who was bidding for you.

luke.

why did everything revolve around luke?

he didn’t know why, but percy wanted to help you.

him and luke weren’t friends, but they weren’t enemies. so, he approached the other boy, sparking up a conversation. he said everything he could think of, anything that would get luke off of your back.

as much as percy disliked you, he disliked seeing you cry even more. so, if he stopped someone from making you cry, it was a win-win.

he walked off with luke, looking back to see if anyone was looking at him and the other boy. when he did, he locked eyes with you, and noticed a small smile blooming from your lips.

he offered one back, then watched as you turned back to your friends.

maybe you guys weren’t so against each other anymore.

percy couldn’t help but smile at the thought.

percy jackson taglist: none, lmk if you’d like to be added!

[adnauseum11]

Situation Awareness (John Price x Reader)

John navigates his over-protective tendencies with you.

1.5k words

minor swearing

feedback welcome!

John absolutely insists on chauffeuring you to and from work for the rest of the week, despite your half-hearted protests. You can admit to yourself that you are less-than- secretly enjoying the break from public transport, able to arrive at work without being harassed or stressed out. Unfortunately, the job is still the bane of your existence. Normally you would be able to shake off the weight of the day before you saw or spoke to John, now however, he’s getting to see you in all your agitated glory. By Friday afternoon, your period arrives and you are deeply contrite. When John picks you up that evening, you feel the need to repent.

He leans over the center console to kiss you hello, as is your new routine. Your whispered, ‘I’m sorry’ against his mouth before you pull back has him raising his brow at you. 

“Sorry for what, darling? You’ve been here all of five seconds.” 

“For haranguing you to death about my stupid job and wanting to quit this week. I got my period today, so that explains that.”

John is silent for a beat, and then surprises you.

“I think if you hate your job you should quit, love. You can get another job eventually.”

“Eventually?”

“Maybe you should take some time and figure out what you would rather do instead.” 

John says gently, reaching across the console to rest his hand on your thigh. The warmth of his hand settles the tension in your body, and you look at his profile as he drives. The late afternoon light catches in his hair and whiskers of his face and you feel a rush of warmth flood your chest. You have to stop yourself from reaching out to touch him. John tilts his head, taking an assessing look at you before turning back to the road, his thumb drifting across the material of your pants. 

“You’re miserable there darling. That’s become very clear. Life’s too short to spend it like that.”

“I was going to chalk it up to my hormones, but really, giving me shit when I’ve been victimized might have been my last straw if I’m being honest. They really don’t give a shit about me.”

“So, leave and find something you enjoy doing. I’d rather see you doing something you believe in, love.”

John’s gravelly voice is earnest. He merges into the exit for the road to his flat, checking his rear-view mirror.

“What would you suggest, Mr. Retired and loving it? I have some savings I guess I could use.”

“Like you said, no time like the present.” John repeats your words from earlier in the week back to you, a small smile playing at the edge of his lips. “Let’s agree to not worry about money, I have enough for both of us until you sort yourself out. Take that out of your equation and focus on figuring out what would make you happy.” 

John turns his fingers up to you and you thread yours through them, his big hand nearly swallowing yours. Maybe because your hormones are all over the place, or maybe because John’s offer is incredibly sweet, but you find your vision swimming with tears in the next breath. 

“John.”

“You alright, love?” He’s all concern, catching a look at your face as he brakes at a red light. You grip his hand and swallow the words that are threatening to spill out, letting them choke you instead. 

“I only want what’s best for you darling.” 

He’s unsure, your reaction making him second guess himself, not something he does often.  

“I know.” You manage to squeak, your throat feeling too thick with emotion to speak.

“I hate seeing you cry, love.”

“Good tears.” You squeeze his hand and he lifts them, kissing the back of your hand. 

You hold onto him for the rest of the short drive back home, John letting you get a handle on yourself in comfortable silence. He doesn’t bring it up again, instead suggesting you change when you arrive home while he putters around in the kitchen, assembling ingredients for dinner. 

You don’t need to be told twice, practically diving into your pyjamas. You steal the plaid flannel shirt he rarely wears, the cheery red calling a bit too much attention for his liking. It swallows you up and you have to roll the sleeves back to have use of your hands, which is how you re-enter the kitchen. John pauses, raising his brow at you as you tuck the sleeve behind your elbow.

“If you’re here to help I would prefer if you weren’t.” He flicks the end of the knife in his hand, shooing you away again. 

“mm, hilarious. I will concede my knife skills are sub-par –“

“Sub-par? Try non-existent.” John corrects, going back to his chopping duties. You huff at him and cross your arms, watching the muscles in his forearms dance.

“- but I can be helpful elsewhere. What else do you need?”

John pauses, looking at you again, his smile fond.

“You can be in charge of wine, go get yourself a glass.”

“Well, that I can manage.” 

You check the ingredients again before taking yourself to the fridge to find a chilled white.

“Is this alright?” 

You ask, holding the bottle out to him. He glances at it and nods, pre-occupied with getting the chicken breasts into the oven. After wrestling the cork out of the bottle, you pour two glasses, John kissing you when you hand his over. 

“Well, if you don’t need me, I’ll be on the couch.”

 You announce, taking your wine and not waiting for a reply. You’ve been slowly turning over John’s offer in the car. It’s tantalizing, the thought of not having to paste on your fake smile every working day. The possibility of a new career steals your focus from the show running on the telly. 

When John joins you a few minutes later, a timer set on his phone, you’ve claimed your usual spot tucked up against the arm rest. John slides in beside you, his arm going over the back of the couch as you resume your familiar positions. You rest your wine glass on his stomach, curling into him as he kicks his feet up onto the coffee table. You let him settle in for a moment before you muster your courage.

“Were you serious earlier?”

John nods, not needing clarification on what it is your asking.

“Of course, love, I wouldn’t tease you about that.”

He tugs the ends of your hair, making you look at him. You delay from saying anything further by taking a sip of your wine.

“Considering it?” He cajoles, watching your face. You bite your bottom lip and look back at him, his blue eyes radiating calm curiosity. 

“Yeah.” You admit, and the triumphant smile that creeps across his handsome face is almost too smug to bear.

“First Christmas together in this place.” John adds. “Might be nice to have nowhere to be over the holidays.” He’s hinting, the season a mere few weeks away.  

You look at him properly at that, his blue eyes focused on you. The corners of his eyes are turned up in a small squint as he tries to gauge your reaction. You juggle your wine into your other hand so you can give in to the impulse to stroke his facial hair, cupping your palm over the wiry hairs. The warmth of his body is reassuring, relaxing your achy muscles. John leans into your touch like a house cat, looking well pleased with himself.

“You don’t have plans with your mates from work this year?”

“If we do get together this year it would be last minute, darling, but nothing slated right now. You?”

That gives you pause, your palm dropping from his cheek to rest lightly on the centre of his chest. 

“No, I was going to work. You know my idiot brother is still in Wales with his family.”

“I’m sure we can find something better to do with your time over the holidays than work.” John’s tone is gently suggestive and you smile, patting his chest.

“I don’t doubt that. Should I do it? Quit my job? It just seems so crazy impulsive after everything this week.”

You can feel the smooth roll of his muscles as he shrugs, raising his eyebrow at you.

“I know better than to tell you what to do, love. Just offering you an out, if you want it.”

You exchange a long look before he gently takes the wine glass out of your hand and sets it beside his on the coffee table. You feel another wash of emotion rush over you when he cups your chin and kisses you, resting his forehead against yours.

“No judgements here. Do you want the out?”

You make a tiny nod, gripping the front of his shirt tightly, suddenly needing a lifeline. 

“Then take it.” His voice is reassuringly confident. 

You hesitatingly agree, your voice soft. You take the opportunity to burrow into John’s side, the comforting wall of muscle and heat grounding your anxieties. You tuck your face into his neck, leaning into his bulk. John makes no effort to shift you, letting you settle into him until his timer goes off and he has to disentangle himself to deal with dinner. He lets you marinate on your decision for the rest of the evening without further comment, his soothing touch eventually lulling you to sleep on the couch.  

Next Chapter

Ao3

Tag list: @deadbranch @beebeechaos @cadotoast @syoddeye @writeforfandoms @itr-00 @chloepluto1306 @batw3nch

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Lost 4

Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of loss, grieving, death, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: nomad!Steve Rogers

Summary: You move into a shared flat and encounter a mysterious man.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You don’t eat breakfast, not that you ever really do. You buy enough food to have dinner when you get home and that’s about it. As the clock ticks on, stretched longer by a sleepless night, you count down to the inevitable. You have to leave that room eventually.

You dress in the convenience store button up, an ugly shade of mustard and pin your nametag on. Not wanting to risk running into your housemates, you talk yourself down to quickly brushing your teeth and tidying up. You won’t shower.

You listen through the door but hear nothing. Not like the night before when you heard everything. When you heard too much.

You bring your little canvas pouch of toiletries and lock your door behind you, just in case. You look left then right, heading down towards the bathroom. You stop as you find the door closed. Shoot. You hesitate, struggling to make up your mind. You should just go back and wait in your room.

Too late. The door opens and you jump in your shoes. You stumble back into the wall, unable to hide your fright. S emerges, his blond hair slightly damp as he combs it back with his fingers. The scent of his soap wafts out with him, warm bergamot cutting through the dingy air of the aged house.

“Sorry,” he leaves the door open behind him as he steps out, “didn’t mean to scare ya.”

You nod and wave him off, mouthing ‘it’s fine’ but unable to summon your voice.

“It’s all yours. Hope you weren’t waiting too long,” he hugs tighter the folded towel in his arm, curled around a leather zip up bag.

You give an ‘mhm’ but his timbre just reminds you of the threats that slipped beneath your door the night before. In your head, the unseen menace was a slimy little ghoul, waiting to creep up on you. You look over your shoulder as S passes.

“He hasn’t bothered you again, has he?” He stops and turns back to you.

You shake your head.

“Good,” his chest rises as he glances towards the far end of the hallway, “Guy’s a freak. On parole…” he faces you again, “not to scare you but you should know.”

You lower your eyes and squeeze your pouch tight. You bite your lip and turn to the bathroom. As you approach the door, he shifts on his feet, the floorboards creaking beneath his weight. You stop but can’t bring yourself to look at him.

“Thank you,” you squeak.

He doesn’t answer right away. You linger in the silence before he musters his response, “no problem. Girl like you, can never be too safe.”

You don’t have a chance to reply. His door opens and shuts and you peek over to find him gone. You keep your hand on the door handle as his words cling in your mind. A girl like you…

Is it so obvious that you're alone? Vulnerable? Afraid?

If it is, maybe it’s better that you have someone like him watching over you.

🚪

You arrive for your shift and take over after balancing the till. It’s quiet and you don’t get much more than the usual pop-ins. An old woman takes up close to twenty minutes playing the scratch cards and a group of teens come in to buy energy drinks and ten cent candies. It makes you wish you only worried about wasting your money on unwinnable jackpots and unhealthy snacks.

You spend your downtime doing the crossword in the newspaper Aziz left behind. The pencil lead dulls with each letter you press into the newsprint. The door chimes again and you peek up as a greasy haired man looks around. His eyes scan the store and finally land on you.

You stand up straight and greet him in your small way. Your voice crackles beneath the drone of radio DJs as they discuss their weekend follies. The man nods and diverts to the magazine rack. You tap the pencil and go back to the puzzle, glancing up periodically as he browses the shelf.

When at last he retreats from his perusal, he approaches and lays down one of the magazines shrouded in black film. You try not to show your discomfort as you flip it over to scan the bar code, overly aware of its more adult contents. He doesn’t show an shame as he leans on the counter and breathes loudly through his nose.

“They all got fake tits these days,” he snivels, “I remember my dad’s rags they used to have the natural girls.”

You blanch and hit total, reading out the amount owing. He snickers and reaches into his pants’ pocket, feeling around a bit too long before dragging his hand out. He chuckles and reaches into his jacket instead, taking out his wallet. Ew.

The door chirps, signalling another customer. You don’t look over. The man across from you searches his wallet slowly, fluttering his fingers over the bills inside. His tongue flicks out like a lizard’s.

“Is cash or credit easier, sweetie?”

The pet name sends a chill through you as his tone tickles your memory. That’s the voice you heard last night. That sickly, simpering slither. You can’t help but take a step back, even with the shield of plexiglass between you.

The other customer appears behind the man and clears his throat, “pay and get out.”

You look past the greasy-haired man as S looms behind him. His fist closes and opens, as if he’s holding himself back. You gulp as the other man rolls his eyes.

“Mind your business, meathead,” he deliberately counts out the bills. “It’s the handsome ones that are mean…” he tuts, “nice guys like me, well, we’re hard to find.”

“She doesn’t care. She’s working,” S snarls.

“You don’t own the store, guy,” the other retorts, “you don’t scare me.”

“I don’t gotta scare you,” S steps closer.

The other man bares his teeth but shrinks, just a little. He throws down the money and shoves it through the slot. You gather it up. It feels almost as slimy as he looks. You reach your hand under with his change and he grabs your hand, closing it around the coins.

“You keep that, sweetie,” he squeezes, “pretty girl like you earned it.”

“Don’t touch her,” S grabs him from behind, wrenching him away. The suddenness has your front hitting the counter before the strange man lets you go. “Take your stuff,” S snatches up the magazine as he holds the man by his scruff, “and go.”

He throws him against the door before whipping the magazine at him. You watch helplessly. The smaller man, much smaller than S, catches the porn rag and tries to look fearsome against his accoster. It’s a pathetic attempt. He seems to realise as he slouches down and tucks tail, pushing out into the street with a grumble.

S shakes his head and turns back, marching to the counter. He puts his single protein shake on the other side of the glass. You swallow and put the change down shakily.

“Those are two for four, sir,” you say, “if you’re interested.”

He nods thoughtfully, his throat bobbing. “Thanks, uh, yeah, maybe I’ll grab another.”

He draws away and walks down the center aisle. He stands before the cooler, pulling open the door, before swiftly spinning on his heel and coming back. He places a strawberry shake next to the vanilla one. You scan both and the till applies the discount.

“Sorry, er, to cause a scene. I just… he shouldn’t be pestering you. Especially at work.”

“N-no, it’s… it’s fine. It’s… nice,” you stammer out as you accept his five dollar bill. “You don’t have to… do that.”

“It's not about 'have to',” he shrugs as you count out his change. He takes it, then the vanilla shake. He doesn’t touch the other one.

“Sir,” you point to the strawberry.

“You seem like the strawberry type,” he steps back on his heel, “it’s for you.”

“I… I can’t–”

“You didn’t eat breakfast. You should,” he insists.

“Sir, really–”

“I’ll leave it here,” he says, “in case you change your mind.” He nudges it closer to the glass, “make sure you give it a good shake. The flavour settles at the bottom.”

He turns away before you can argue. Again, he ends the conversation with his departure. As generous as he is, you get the idea he’s not into negotiating.

[ouijarat]

Too Weird to Love, Too Scared to Die.

Chapter One

(This was just a silly goofy idea that my partner convinced me to get out of my brain and onto the internet. This takes place in an alternate Weirdmageddon Finale scenario. Btw I hardly ever write and this is my first fic like ever so PLEASE BE NICE TO ME and let me know if y'all like it. Ty <3)

_________________________________________

“I’ll give it to you!” Stanford Pines’ voice echoed from the cage and through the cavernous hall of the fearamid. The world seemed to stop as Stanford’s once beloved Muse-turned-monster’s gigantic eye turned from the two children in his grasp he was about to send to meet their maker a moment ago and onto him. Bill’s gaze was as blinding as the sun. 

“I’ll give you the equation, Cipher! Just… don’t hurt my family… please.” 

Bill stared while Dipper and Mabel’s terrified expressions drilled themselves into Ford’s mind during the stillness. Just as Dipper opened his mouth, seemingly to protest against Ford’s decision, Bill’s shrill, inhuman laughter enveloped their senses; the sound loud enough to rattle one’s skull and make one’s ears bleed should they stand too close. 

“Oh, Sixer! I just knew you’d come around~!” The demon cackled smugly, depositing the young twins on a high up support beam, safe for the time being yet out of their uncles’ reach. The grotesque, gargantuan form of arms and teeth and tongues the triangle had reverted to when angered began to shrink back down to size, the red fading back to yellow as he looked down at Ford with as much sick satisfaction a creature without a proper face could possibly express.

“I’m so happy you’ve finally, finally come to your senses!” 

Stanford looked over his shoulder to glance at his brother, expecting to read contempt, maybe anger at Ford for not thinking of something fast enough; but when their eyes met he only saw fear and uncertainty. He couldn’t bear it, so he averted his gaze. He yelped as his body was lifted off the obsidian palace floor as Bill effortlessly levitated him out of his confinement.

 “I’ve gotta say, IQ,  you really had me going there! I thought you were actually gonna make me kill one of the brats!” He gently dropped Stanford in front of his now much less threatening form, straightening out his bowtie as his little heels collided with the ground with a small click, making himself level with Ford as though foolishly trying to perpetuate the illusion that they were equals here. The laughable notion of respect. 

Ford grimaced, six fingernails digging into each of his palms as he steeled himself, remaining woefully silent. Bill was clearly annoyed that Ford refused to play into his verbal sparring, the demon’s expression souring. 

“Aw c’mon, Fordsie. Don’t be like that. Cheer up! Soon I’ll be free, and I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted!” 

Ford’s eyes darted up to the two children clinging onto each other at least 30 feet above him before he looked back to Bill, his expression flat. “You could never give me anything I would truly want.” 

The triangle looked almost hurt for a moment before he laughed again, regaining his composure.

“And why’s that?” 

Stanford stared at him. “You’re selfish,” He said, his voice tainted with the shadow of disdain. “You couldn’t emotionally fulfill another person if you tried. You’re a monster.”

The demon’s eye twitched, his gaze suddenly distant as his yellow glow seemed to dim. Above them, Dipper squeezed Mabel’s hand in a vice grip, scared that Ford had just signed his own death certificate. Instead, Bill just snapped back to normal in an instant, giggling again. “We’ll see about that. But for now..” He extended a dainty black arm, his hand suddenly engulfed in blue flame awaiting Ford’s palm to complete their deal. 

“Let’s get this show on the road. Eh, Sixer?” 

Ford looked down at the floor below him, too ashamed to meet his family’s gaze as he pressed what was, for all intents and purposes, the big red button for the apocalypse. At least they’ll be safe. He held his breath and grasped Bill’s hand, memories of thirty years ago flashing through his mind as soon as they made contact. The demon’s eye widened maniacally as he cackled, his grasp tightening around Ford’s polydactyl hand as the world around him froze. His surroundings turning to black and white and sensation melting away. In a low, gentle voice Stanford hadn’t heard since he worshiped a god rather than feared a beast, Bill spoke. “You’ll see, Fordsy.” 

And suddenly Ford’s vision went dark. 

…

Stanford woke with a start and quickly shot up, having just woken from the most terrible nightmare. He caught his breath, running a hand through the graying hair that had plastered itself to his forehead with sweat, blinking blindly. His glasses must’ve fallen off the couch as he slept. Only, even for as blind as he was, he could very quickly gather that he was in… a bed. Not his bed. That was odd. He frantically groped around for his glasses, finding them neatly folded on a nightstand beside him. He pushed them up his nose with an index finger and -much to his dismay- confirmed that this was not his room, and this was not the Mystery Shack. 

Ford looked down at himself, noting the red satin pajama set he was dressed in that were also very much not his. Despite how soft the sheets were, he quickly threw them off as though they’d burned him. He stood up carefully, the hardwood floor cold against his bare feet. Taking in his surroundings, he first noticed the room had no windows or interior lamps, and yet was perfectly illuminated in warm, comforting light. Everything about the decor style was so very pointedly… him. The dark oak furniture, the golden constellation map on the wall, the chess set on the desk, the detailed antique globe in the far corner. It was all extremely reminiscent of everything he had wanted to do with his basement study back home, had he had the time. This greatly unsettled him. 

He approached the bedroom door with caution, stopping in his tracks with a hand hovering over the doorknob as he heard the sound of dishes clattering distantly somewhere else in the house. Ford gulped before turning the knob excruciatingly slowly, the door cracking open with a soft creak. Nothing jumped out at him and he wasn’t immediately incinerated, so he continued on, gently pushing it all the way open to reveal… an exceedingly normal hallway. 

The walls were adorned with refined red wallpaper and ornate picture frames, the pictures inside so familiar and yet so violently wrong. Nausea bubbled in his stomach as he stared at the family photographs he had gladly kept hung up throughout the walls of the shack, except now half the family had seemingly vanished, or rather been purposely eliminated from the photos. The only two people present in any of them were himself and Mabel, leaving eerily empty spaces where his brother and grand-nephew should have been. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the image of his grand-niece, her colorful braces on display as she smiled happily with her arms wrapped around nothing but dead air. 

Ford jumped, suddenly ripped away from his horror once more as the loud crash of pans echoed from what seemed to be a lower floor, followed by a soft string of curses in at least five different alien languages, two of which he didn’t recognize. He tiptoed further down the hallway, his right hand itching to wrap itself around the grip of his gun. He distantly wondered what had been done with it, as well as his coat. He’d miss that coat. Ford mentally cursed himself for not simply improvising a weapon sooner in case whatever was downstairs tried to attack, yet he couldn’t stop himself from inching further and further into the house and toward the noise. Damn his curiosity. 

He rounded a corner and was met with a grand staircase leading downward, taking a breath and quietly descending with his back pressed against the wall in an attempt to not risk being seen. Upon reaching the bottom, Stanford froze in place, hearing something sizzling in the next room over, accompanied by the unmistakable stench of burning roadkill. He slowly peeked around the corner, his jaw dropping at the sight before him. 

He peered into what was, he had to admit, a very nice kitchen, complete with stainless steel appliances and black granite countertops. In the middle of said kitchen, holding a pan full of what looked to be a mutilated opossum over the stove, was Bill Cipher in a frilly pink apron. Said apron had the words ‘Kiss the Triangle’ printed across the front in a loopy cursive font, a heart in place of the dot over the ’i’. 

Sensing his presence, the triangular demon turned to look at him cheerfully, eye upturned in a makeshift smile. “Heya, smart guy! I was wondering when you’d wake up, sleepyhead! You’re just in time for breakfast!”

Ford prayed to every god he knew of, earthen, alien or otherwise, that he’d wake up soon.

(Thank you for reading, let me know if you want a chapter two!)

[dilemmaontwolegs]

The Aftermath || LN4 {13}

Pairing: Lando Norris x widow!reader Summary: Lando is still struggling with his anxiety and it seems to only grows with time as he tried to balance work and parenting. Warnings: 18+ only, hurt/comfort, mentions of dad!PND WC: 3.4K

F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten || Eleven || Twelve || Thirteen || Epilogue

“I thought this was supposed to get easier,” Lando grumbled as you sat in bed, your laptop screen filled with his image. The bright late afternoon sun was streaming through the window in your room but it was night where Lando was in Miami. “I feel like I’m letting everyone down. I can’t concentrate on the race because I’m thinking about you two, and I can’t be at home because of the race…I hate this.”

 “I don’t know if it's easier, but I guess it will become a new normal in time. We’ll be with you at the next three races, just have to make it through this one.”

“I need this two week break to hurry up and arrive. I just need to be able to go to put Ren to bed and tuck her in,” startled cries sounded from the cot across the room as Renleigh woke from her nap, “and I need to be there to pick her up when she cries. I think I’m going out of my mind.”

The catch in his voice broke your heart and you grabbed your phone off the bedside so you could message Max. “You don’t know how much I wish I could take away the hurt you’re feeling, Lan. I don’t want you to be alone so Max is getting on the first flight he can. And before you argue, he is happy to do it. We are both worried about you, babe.”

“No offence, love, but I don’t need Max, I need my family.” He dropped his chin onto his hand with a sigh. 

“I’m just a phone call away, day or night. But if you want snuggles, Max will have to do for a few more nights.” 

You left the laptop for a moment so you could reach into the cot and bring Ren over to see her daddy, waving her little hand to the camera. A smile finally graced his lips as he waved back and leaned closer to the screen to kiss his camera. 

Placing her on the bed, you both watched her try to crawl towards Lando. “That’s it, my girl,” he praised as she rocked forward before face planting into the soft blankets. “Getting there, you’ll be racing around in no time.”

“Speaking of racing, you should be getting ready for bed,” you reminded him gently. “Max will be there in the morning to keep you company and you know you can talk to him about anything.”

“You make it sound like I need counselling,” he joked but it fell flat when you shrugged. “I’m fine.”

“Okay, it’s just…your job is already so stressful, then the addition of a baby…it’s a big change and it’s alright to admit that. Dads can get PND too.” 

“Really?” His brows pinched together as he fell silent. 

“Even if you are fine, I think talking to someone else might still help. Remember when you got me to go to counselling? You said it wasn’t anything to be ashamed of and it isn’t.”

He didn’t look convinced as he muttered, “yeah, maybe.”

“Just think about it,” you suggested as he started to yawn. “And get some rest, babe. I love you.”

You felt like you had come out of hibernation as you sat beside Lando, your fingers entwined as he drove to Imola. Since giving birth you had hardly travelled anywhere, opting to keep Renleigh’s arrival private, so everyone close enough to know about her came to your house to visit her. That would all change on Sunday and to say you were nervous was the mother of all understatements.

Your stomach was tied up in knots just thinking about trying to navigate the busy paddock with your precious baby. Lando had already organised plenty of security to escort you everywhere but your overthinking and paranoia whispered that there were still so many things that could go wrong. It lingered even when you tried to focus on the here and now.

The radio played quietly in the background but it was Ren that you listened to, her babbling in response to Lando’s chattering keeping you both entertained and distracted. You turned in the seat to see her smile in the small mirror and her papaya socks kicking in the air.

“Someone is excited to make her debut,” Lando said with a chuckle. He gripped the wheel with one hand and the other came to rest on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. There had hardly been a moment where he wasn’t holding some part of you since his return, needing the comfort of your touch to ground himself and suppress his growing anxiety. 

This was the most relaxed he had been in months and you smiled back at him, grateful that your husband was returning to his old self. 

“Why are you smiling like that?” he asked with a nervous laugh between glances as he drove.

“Do you ever just stop and think ‘I have never been happier than I am at this moment’?” you asked as you traced the beauty spots that dotted his arm like a constellation of stars that would always lead you home. “It’s almost painful how happy I am right now, like my heart is going to burst right out of my chest.”

“Please don’t,” he chuckled, reaching up to stroke your cheek before concentrating back on the road. “That was me this morning, well, every morning I wake up beside you. Seeing the sunlight catch your hair, the peace on your face when you bury it in my neck and snore.”

Ren’s arms startled into the air at the sudden laugh you barked and Lando’s grin grew at the sound of pure, unfiltered joy. “That was almost romantic! You were so close to a blowjob, until you lied.”

“You do snore, and it’s cute!” he stated seriously before casting you a sly smile. “So about that blowjob…”

You leaned over the console and kissed the sharp line of his jaw, tracing the curve to his ear. “Tell me I snore one more time.” He clamped his lips closed and you smirked as you sat back in the seat. “Smart man.”

Lando put the car in park and turned the engine off but made no move to open the door as he sat quietly with his hands still on the wheel. His qualifying had gone great the day before and he was starting the race in P3 but the race was far from his mind as he looked at the high fence ahead, knowing the circuit was just on the other side.

“What if we are doing the wrong thing?”

“Lan, we can’t keep her bubble wrapped for the rest of her life. And we are going to make mistakes, that’s just a fact, but there’s only one way to find out.” You looked out the window and saw a group of men wearing McLaren shirts that showed off their large muscles. “Your papaya army has arrived, and they bought the big guns too.”

Lando snorted and relaxed a little, though the wariness never left his eyes as he unbuckled his seatbelt and stole a kiss. “Thank you.”

Lando’s fingers tightened around yours and he placed his other hand protectively over Renleigh’s back. He had debated putting her into the stroller that remained folded up in the car boot but the need to keep her close made him strap the front pack to his chest. Every few steps his head would dip down and he would place a tender kiss to the top of her head, whispering soothing words that were more for himself than her.

“What’s the weather forecast?” you asked as you tipped your head back to the skies and wondered if you had imagined the kiss of raindrop on your skin. 

“Chance of rain, but it should only be light.” He took a look around himself and narrowed his eyes at the grey clouds on the horizon before picking up the pace a little. His quick walk stalled when he reached the paddock gates and patted his pockets for his pass to scan and swore under his breath. 

“Looking for this?” you teased as you pulled his pass out of your pocket along with yours. 

“Have I told you how much I missed having you here?” he said as he took his pass and scanned it, his photo popping up on the little screen before he stepped through the barrier. 

“You may have mentioned it once or twice. Is Maria here already?”

Lando nodded, mentioning he had messaged her earlier and she had already arrived at the track with Zak. 

“Maybe grand-mere can look after you for a little while,” you whispered as you tickled Ren’s feet through her socks. “Then mummy and daddy can sneak off to his room for a few minutes.”

 “Minutes?” Lando scoffed at the insult and you grinned knowing his competitive side was coming out despite the fact the man’s stamina was far longer.

“If you want to prove me wrong…”

“I’ve done that multiple times a day, for the last two weeks, love,” he smirked as he whispered in your ear as you walked along. “But if your memory is that bad, I’m sure I can remind you.”

Your reply was lost as a huge swell of people came into view through the gaps in the wall of muscle ahead, the chaotic screams suddenly piercing the air as Lando was spotted by the crowd. Your mouth was still parted in shock but the sound of a shaky breath didn’t come from your lips. 

“Can we get to the garage, please?” you asked the head of security and he nodded, just as eager to make it through the mass of people. 

As effortless as Lando made it seem, he was never truly comfortable in large crowds and the birth of his daughter had only increased his social anxiety. You could feel it now as his palm heated against yours, his skin clammy and grip tightening to an almost painful hold. He was using you to anchor himself and fight back the panic so you bit the inside of your cheek and let him crush your hand.

“Almost there, baby,” you soothed as the men moved to the shape of an arrow that speared the crowd apart. 

Cameras flashed and fans screamed as they spotted the baby tucked into Lando’s chest, just the brown tufts of her curls visible. Those too were hidden as Lando cupped the back of her head and hummed a sweet lullaby to distract himself from the questions thrown his way. There was no way he could bring himself to stop and answer any of them until Ren was safely in the McLaren area, he couldn’t risk her safety among the strangers. It was only when he caught sight of the grey and orange coloured motorhome that he could muster up the courage to slip his hand away from yours and offer a small wave. 

The fear and reservations you had held never had time to surface while you focused on Lando but when you passed the doors and the outside world was silenced you finally breathed a sigh of relief. “We did it, Lan.”

“I don’t like this,” he admitted as he continued to his driver room. A bassinet was already set up with McLaren blankets and it made his lips twitch into an almost smile as you helped him to take Ren out of the front pack. “I can’t believe she slept through all that.”

He placed her into the bassinet and tucked her in while you wrapped your arms around his waist and kissed his shoulder. You knew it wouldn’t be long until she woke up for a feed as a heaviness ached in your breasts so you had to make the most of the quiet moments while you could, dragging Lando to the couch and forcing him to sit down. 

“What’s going on in that handsome head of yours?” you asked as you combed your fingers through his hair and tugged the stands so he looked at you. “Talk to me.”

“I thought having you both here would be easier, but I still feel sick,” he admitted after a minute of drawn out silence. “I need you here, don’t get me wrong, I hated being away from you but now I can't…I don’t even know how to explain it.”

You waited patiently for him to collate his thoughts, holding his hand while he watched Ren sleep peacefully. He longed for that peacefulness too.

“Infinite possibilities, it’s something Andrea gets us to think about when we race. One move can make a difference, one millimetre off the line could be the difference between the fastest lap or ending up in the gravel. Every action has an infinite amount of possibilities and it’s my job to figure out which is most likely to happen.” He took a deep breath from his quiet ramblings and exhaled a long sigh as he slowed down his words. “I can’t stop thinking about the infinite possibilities with Ren. Every bad thing that could happen, everything that could go wrong, I see it in my head. All. The. Time. I can’t stop.”

His words died out with a sob and you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into your embrace as he fell apart. This was the moment you had been expecting, though it was still gut wrenching to witness. All the ups and downs this season had been leading to one cataclysmic peak where he had to release the pent up thoughts he had tried to suppress.

“Do you remember that day at Silverstone, the first time I came back to the paddock?” You knew he was listening by the way he held his breath to silence the sobs that jolted his shoulders. Rubbing his back softly, you kissed his temple and stared at the poster on the wall, seeing how much his face had matured in the last four years.

“When I sat in your room alone it was like time stood still. I had so much time to think that I imagined every horror scenario of you and your car and that fear made my stomach turn. I couldn’t eat anything all day,” you admitted as he pulled back with shimmering eyes and damp cheeks. “But the moment I saw you napping in the cockpit of your car I could finally think again. Not a single one of those scenarios came close to what was actually happening in that moment.”

You wiped his eyes and cupped his face in your hands. “It doesn’t matter that there’s endless possibilities for how the future might go, Lando. All that matters is this moment, and wasting time thinking about things that may never even happen only makes us miss out on today.”

“You aren’t scared we are making the wrong decisions?”

“Of course I’m scared, babe. But I know the man I married and I know that the decisions we make, whether they are right or wrong, come from a good place.” You placed a hand over his heart, feeling the bump under his shirt of the necklace he wore for Ren. “That’s the best any parent can hope for.”

His hand came to rest over yours for a moment before he lifted it to his lips and kissed your wedding ring. “I need to go but I’ll be back before the race starts.”

You nodded as he went to the small bathroom and washed his face, looking clear headed and calm once more. “Are you alright?” you asked as he started to undress and grab his fireproofs from the closet.

He pulled the skin tight material over his head and looked at your reflection in the mirror. “No, but I will be.”

The honesty was more relieving despite his words and you were glad he hadn’t just lied and said he was fine.

With a small smile, he leaned into the bassinet and kissed Ren’s cheek. “I love you, little lady, more than anything in this whole wide world.”

Five years after Imola had stolen your breath away, it had done it again. This time your voice was hoarse from the screams of support and happiness as Lando won the race.

It was as if all the tears ever shed at the circuit were released from the heavens to cascade upon the track with only three laps to go. Max and Charles had just passed the pit entrance before the deluge fell but Lando had made the split second decision to box and change to full wets. He had quickly caught up with the better grip and took the lead when they pitted on the next lap.

You hadn’t been able to move from where you stood rooted on the balcony in front of the home straight. Lando had always been able to dance in the rain, making his car sing in harmony to the beat of the drops on the blacktop. This was his element, but every turn gave you heart palpitations.

Yellow flags flew as some drivers tried their luck with their slicks, praying the rain would pass, only to spin out when they hit a puddle. One rookie aquaplaned off the track, leaving tire ruts in the grass, before rejoining the track and you gasped as Lando had to swerve to avoid him.

“We saw there was a close call on that final turn. How stressful was that?”

“It was scary, so scary. Knowing that my wife was watching just ahead, and seeing that car come right in front of me…my wife and my daughter, they were all I could think about. It’s so wet out there, turn too quick and there’s just no grip, nothing to keep me on the track. I was certain I was gone when that car came at me.”

Lando brushed his cap off and combed his hair as his lips pressed tight to hide the tremble. “It was so scary. You just have no idea what it’s like in those split seconds where you react on instinct and don’t know if you have just saved your life or forfeited it. It’s a risk, and I used to find it fun when I was younger but not now. I have too much to risk now.”

You cradled Ren closer as the McLaren team let you through to the front of the barrier. You hadn’t planned on stepping out of the motorhome but Lando was clearly not okay and you needed to get to him.

“It’s hard to be excited over winning when I thought I had just about made my wife a widow again, or that my daughter was going to grow up and not know me,” he said, answering another question that you had missed as you navigated your way out of the garage. “As much as I love this sport, and I am grateful for all the people who have helped me to get to where I am, I love my family more.”

He seemed to sense you in the crowd and Renleigh started to cry in your arms as you reached the barrier. The reporter followed him as he crossed the short distance and pressed his sweaty forehead to yours. “I’m going to be alright,” he whispered for only you to hear before he took Ren, who instantly settled on his shoulder, as the crowd ‘awww’d at the sight.

“I have been thinking hard about this for the last few months,” he continued as he gently bounced Ren back to sleep, “but this will be my last season in Formula One. I have always put 100% into what means the most to me and I haven’t been able to do that with racing taking me away from my family.”

The shock that rippled through the crowd and stunned the reporter into silence didn’t reach you. You had seen the look in his eyes when he parked in front of the 1st place signage and pulled his helmet off. He hadn’t thrown his hands in the air, he hadn’t waved to the crowd or his team. He had fallen to his knees and ripped his gloves off to feel the solid ground beneath his palms as the rain continued to fall.

The microphone shifted to you as you watched Lando hold Ren tighter and brush his lips over her dark curls. “It must have been harrowing to watch that last lap, especially since it wasn’t far from where you laid a wreath earlier today.”

“I trust every decision Lando makes. I knew he would make it through,” you said with a reassuring smile to your husband as you clutched the necklace that held your first wedding ring. “And every year when I visit I ask René to watch over him. Maybe he was listening all this time.”

Click here for the epilogue.

Tagging: @yunnie-f1 @neiich @zendayabelova @stillbreathin @dr3lover @writerscurse @christianpulisic10 @alwaysclassyeagle @alexisquinnlee-bc @purplephantomwolf @lightsoutletsgo @pleasantducktimetravel @pierre-gasllllllyyyyyy @holy-macncheese-balls @belennasif @ophcelia @love4lando @ryiamarie @mickslover @tyna-19

[thehusbandoden]

Burnt -Dabi x Reader

A/n: felt angsty lol. I'll write an alternative ending or maybe a second part soon~! <3

General info:

Genre: pure angst \\ wc: 1,224 \\ posted: 01/03/2024

Summary: you gave the love of your life too many chances already. But this time? He crossed a line.. a line that should have never been crossed.

Warnings!: pure angst, no happy ending, spoilers of Dabi's backstory, Dabi's real name, arguing, toxicity, crying, mention of blood, suggested abusive childhood, trauma, gaslighting, manipulating, being badly insulted, being unable to apologize, flinching, being physically harmed, break up, shame, guilt, annd I think that's it! Pls let me know if I miss anything! <33

Alternative Ending- More Than Life Itself (Dw he doesn't get away with it, but it's fluff/comfort!)

Hurt coursed through your being as you glared at your beloved, biting your lip in pent up anger. “Why can’t you just trust me?! I’m not going to hurt you Touya!”  

“Do not call me Touya.” He growled, his hands clenching into fists. “You’ve done nothing but use me. All you ever care about is yourself, you’re a lazy, selfish, manipulative, and flat-out disgusting woman.”  

You open your mouth to retort, but quickly close it, shocked at his words. You only want him to be happy. All you do is provide love, support, shelter, and safety for him. You haven’t left him no matter how many times he’s insulted, manipulated, or gaslit you.  

You gave him shelter in your own home, no matter the risks of police, heroes, or other villains. You sat there as he yelled at you, insulted you, and belittled you.  

But... this? 

This was too far.  

“Do you mean all that?” You murmur, your eyes lowering to the floor. Your lip started to tremble.  

Dabi sneered. “Yes. Every single bit of it.” His turquoise eyes were filled with pure hatred.  

“Then just leave me.” You murmur, your hands shaking.  

“What did you say?” Dabi scoffed.  

“If I’m such a terrible person, just leave me and find someone better.” You spit, your e/c orbs filling with tears.  

“Are you really crying? Pathetic. Maybe I will... I’ll find someone who’s a lot better. She’ll be gorgeous, loving, selfless, and best of all- completely opposite of you.” Dabi snickered, pulling his black combat boots on.  

You don’t say anything. A few tears strayed down your face. Dabi scoffed. “Good.” You whisper. 

Rolling his eyes, Dabi pulls on his long leather jacket and his large backpack stored with all his belongings. He came home only a few hours ago... you tried to tell yourself to stay quiet, but you couldn’t help it... 

“Did you ever even love me?” You whisper, a few more tears joining the first.  

Dabi paused, his turquoise orbs moving to the floor. He doesn’t say anything, hardly even breathing. Silence envelops the two of you for a few moments before he speaks. “I... don’t love anything. Or anyone.”  

More tears fell.  

“So what? I was just- a- a game?” Your voice shook. Your control began to tremble.  

“You were something to pass time.” He muttered, running a large hand through his black hair. “Nothing more.”  

A choked sob broke through your lips. “Nothing? Nothing else at all?”  

“Yes. You were nothing but a stress relief.”  

A second sob followed the first. You could have sworn you saw Dabi’s sneer falter for a mere second.  

“What? Did you really think I could love someone like you?!”  

“Just go. I would wish you misery-” your voice cracks, “-but you’re already cursed. You break whomever and whatever is around you. You destroyed us and you destroyed your fam-" -a loud smack echoed across the room. Everything but you and Dabi’s heavy breathing were heard.  

You stared at the floor, your cheek burning. You couldn’t believe that the man you once loved and trusted could ever do something like this... he was not only cursed- but a liar at that.   

Biting your lip, your tearful eyes meet Dabi’s cold ones. No one other than you wouldn’t be able to tell how he was truly feeling. But you knew that his eyes were full of regret, guilt, and shame. But he wouldn’t apologize. He never would.  

“Get out.” You whisper, clenching your hands into fists. Dabi’s mouth opened ever so slightly.  

“What did you say?” He asked softly.  

“I said get out.” You demand. Tears fell down your face, making your cheek sting further. You silently cursed at your vulnerability.  

“Oh, come on y/n- it wasn’t that big of a deal.” Dabi protested, reaching out to hold you. He was gaslighting you. Again.  

“No! It was that bad! You didn’t only slap me Dabi, you burned me.” Dabi froze, your words finally pulling himself out of his delusional state. His eyes widened as he eyed your bruising cheek- it was not only bruising but burned.  

His face fell in horror. He subconsciously reached his hand to your cheek. You flinch, and he slowly falls apart.  

“Y-y/n- I-I...”  

“Get out. Now.” Your gorgeous e/c orbs hardened in rage, and he finally realized how serious you were.  

“O-okay... I’ll go.” He murmured, moving his heartbroken orbs to the floor. “I don’t want to see you again. Ever.” You murmur, wrapping your arms around yourself.  

“E-ever?”  

“Ever. You crossed a line, Dabi.”  

Dabi froze as he heard you call him his villain's name... you always called him Touya... you were serious. He yearned to apologize, to hold you in his arms as he coos at you, to fix everything he ruined.  

His body jerked forward, but he didn’t budge. Opening his mouth, he inwardly screamed at himself to just- do it. The words were at the tip of his tongue. 

Memories of his childhood flashed before his eyes- the screaming, the insults, the endless apologies left ignored, or even punished. Something inside him snapped and he just- broke.  

“Good. I’m glad. I’ll be much better without your pathetic self weighing me down.” He sneered, pushing you aside, sending you scrawling to the floor. “You’re pathetic. Did you think that I loved you?!”  

Another sob broke from your lips. “Out.” 

“Y’know what? Why should I? You get out. I’m staying.”  

“I pay for this apartment Dabi! I buy the groceries, pay the bills, buy the furniture, pay for the repairs- this is my place!”  

“And I’m going to stay. Now either shut up and deal or leave.” Dabi growled. You glared at the man, your fingernails digging into your palms.  

“Dabi- leave. You’ve overstayed your welcome. Not only have you physically harmed me- whom you swore to protect, but you’ve insulted, belittled, and totally disrespected me. I want you out of my apartment by-” you were interrupted by Dabi tightly grabbing your arms, his flames burning into your flesh. Hissing in pain, you push Dabi to the ground. He lets out a loud curse before shooting back up to his feet, glaring at you. His hardened eyes involuntarily softened as he met your teary eyes. His heart stung as he watched you fall into yourself, sobbing.  

Dabi kneeled to the floor, trying to make eye contact with you. “Listen y/n... I-”  

“Leave! Go! I don’t want you or your apology! Leave or I will!” You sob, gripping onto your shirt tightly.  

Dabi’s cold, broken, and at most times invisible heart- shattered.  

He did this to you. He was a monster... he was just like Endeavor.  

Nodding, Dabi stood up. He turned away, walking towards the door. He glanced at you once more before walking out. He could hear your sobs as he closed your front door. He clenched his hands into fists. After a few moments of listening to your wails of betrayal, lost, and hurt, he couldn’t take it anymore.  

He threw a punch to his cheek, cursing himself out as he walked away. Blood streamed from his eyes; his burnt tear ducts burning in agony as his body attempted to cry. 

He insulted you.  

He lied to you.  

He broke you.  

He burnt you.  

And the worst part? 

There was nothing he could do to fix it. 

~~~~~

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Alternative Ending- More Than Life Itself (Dw he doesn't get away with it, but it's fluff/comfort!)

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

[meeeeeeeepmoooorp]

Wriothesley would like some clarity on your current relationship..

“Is there something that you want from me?”

The incredulous question resounds off the metallic walls and the mood seems more frigid. Which is a bit of a go figure considering the environment and the man standing before you. You freeze your actions and face his neutral position. Something you’re not used to seeing considering the playfulness the two of you usually share.

“Do you want to elaborate on that?” You return curiously. Wriothesley nods, and leans against his desk that you are both posed in front of.

“Sure, is there something that you want from me?” Your face turns flat and then into a grimace. “There he is again being a jackass again…”

The bag full of tasty treats and a assortment of food is placed on his desk as you place your hand on your hip and lean against it. Your finger thrums on the desk in mild irritation.

“Oh? So you’re friend can’t visit you and have lunch together? That simply breaks my heart Wrio!” You clasp your hands together in a display of coltish pity, and for once Wriothesley isn’t as playful back.

“I’m serious. Why do you keep coming down here to visit me? There isn’t very much I can offer you down here except for tea? Or is there favors that you wan’t from me? What is it?”

Oh. He’s serious. To be fair, most days he’s actually quite serious. But this is a turn from the usual playful banter that the two of you share. The question still hangs in the air uncomfortably, which makes you uncomfortable.

“This is awkward…” You begin to rifle through the bag that you brought with you.

“Anywho. So this time I brought down some sandwiches and bakery goods from the patisserie! And I even made a beef stew, because I know it get a bit chilly down here. We just need to hea-“

“(Y/N.)” Wriothesley says flatly. You turn to face him, face the uncomfortable reality of this situation. “Please tell me or I’ll have to ask you to leave.” The statement stings and you stare at each other for what seems to be a infinite face off. Wriothesley who usually has a poker face to many, and yet in this fragment of time. He’s showing the vulnerability that he is capable of.

He’s arms have folded to match yours; guarded.

He’s clenching his arm so tightly, it’s borderline concerning.

He really is serious right now. Not that he isn’t intimidating but in this moment the severity of the question really begins to hit you.

You turn back to the bag and begin to rifle through it again. Proceeding to take out it’s contents. Should be GN, but it is implied that Wriothesley is at least taller than you.

“I like you Wriothesley.” You hear a sharp intake from him, but continue on with what you’re saying. “You’ve been fairly open with your past, and I hope that I’ve done my best not to hold that against you and take you for what you are currently. Honestly, I think that you are pretty great.”

As the words spill out, you feel your nerves growing, and focus on the bag in front of you more.

“I hope that it doesn’t come off as pity, but I think you’re circumstances alone should grant you some comfort in this world. Despite everything you’ve been through you still look after people in your own way, and try to do right by them.”

You’re running out of materials to take out of the bag.

“Maybe I wont be able to fully understand what you’ve gone through and how you’re been taken advantage of. But you’re the type of person that I want to have in my life. I’m really happy that we’re friends. I don’t want anything else from you really besides your company.”

You find the stray sandwhich, and unravel it. With a heavy sigh you turn to face him, and feel the intensity of his gaze. Looking for any signs of deceit from you. You outstretch you’re arm and offer the deli treat to him.

“…I hope that we can stay friends if you like.” Once again the moment feels infinite before Wriothesley unfurls his arms and takes a step towards you. Closer.

He looms over you before leaning down to take a bite out of the sandwhich that you’re holding.

“…You know that almost sounded like a love confession.” He smugly responds with a sly smirk.

You squint your eyes and glare, a smirk gracing your face as well. “Well if you have time to be a smart ass, you can hold your own damn sandwhich!” The energy of the room lightens and he takes the food from you with a chuckle.

“Stay here I’ll go find Seigewinne, and then we can have lunch together!” You run off quickly and leave his grace with a thundering heart and flushed ear tips.

“…A love confession. That’d be nice as well.”

[fllagellant]

After screenshotting my original 1:27 am rant just for safekeeping and returning to this line of thought, I think I would like to swing this bat at a hornets nest . And I shall call it ;

BG3 And Polyamory, AKA The Discourse From The Eyes Of The Polyamorous

Hi, I am now disclosing the polyamorous part of my queer identity to the internet. Yay! Remember, I am only one polyamorous person on this website and I am not the spokesperson. This is just my own opinion and my own feelings with how both the game and the fandom seem to be handling the inclusion of polyamorous relationships and characters.

And in my humble opinion: Yikes !

This should be no surprise, but the polyamorous rep in bg3 isn’t … really good . It’s there, sure, and maybe I’m the fool for expecting it to be good when it really is the first time I have ever really heard of a game having an actual polyamorous option. Like on purpose. But with how much bg3 was hyped up as being super inclusive and completely different from all other games in the genre, I had hoped that it would take a good approach to polyamorous people and relationships.

Suffice to say, it fell flat once I actually looked into it.

The companions listed as open for an open/poly relationship are Astarion, Shadowheart, Minthara, and Halsin . What’s wrong with that?

3/4 of these characters already feel like they lean into the conservative fear of polyamory . Three of them are the ‘ evil ‘ members of your party . While ( besides Halsin, but we’ll get to that ) the rest of the ‘ good ‘ character are all monogamous. Growing up in a conservative home, in a conservative province, discussions of the idea of polyamory always came back to the same argument. That only the strange and amoral would do it. Only people who can’t be trusted and don’t actually care about you want to be in a polygamous relationship. And sadly, that is what I see echoed in the choices of who is and isn’t polyamorous.

I romanced Wyll in my first playthru. I had always planned to romance Wyll, actually, since I first saw his design when I first learned of bg3 during its early access days. When I met Halsin next, and chose the options to flirt with him, I thought that a polyamorous relationship between my Tav, Wyll, and Halsin would be cute. I had hoped it would work. I had already seen plenty of Astarion and Halsin and Tav art and gifsets and every other piece of fan content floating around . I had hoped that maybe that bit I read about who is and isn’t open for polyamory was outdated, and I could have this relationship play out in my little playthru .

Of course, it came down to having to choose. And I shrugged it off, at first. Sure, Larian didn’t make Wyll polyamorous for whatever reason. It is the first game that has polyamorous options, and I can just continue the game but have that polyamorous relationship in my head as my canon for my character. That’s fine, that’s what I’ve done before. It can’t be different now, right?

But then, I looked online, opened Tumblr, wondering what other people would say. Not thinking that it would be a big debate about if it is or is not okay to pair certain characters in an ot3 or not.

Wyll can’t be polyamorous, because knightly tales of courting and the mere act of courting is strictly monogamous. Pairing him in an polyamorous relationship is fundamentally misunderstanding the character and you’ve missed the point of him if you do that. It’s wrong to want that, wrong to think about it. The game has polyamorous options, be happy with what you have.

And so, I felt guilty. Larian already set up this dichotomy between their good leaning characters having the normal and good monogamous relationship and the evil leaning characters having the strange and perverse polyamorous relationship. But then, to see that the mere act of pairing your own character with two characters because you think it’s cute, is now being looked down upon so heavily and being seen as a “ fundamental misunderstanding of the characters “. And to have those ideas an opinions suddenly become the most agreed and accepted stance on the topic? How was I supposed to feel anything other than shame. Like I had been enjoying the game wrong, in a backward way.

If Wyll was polyamorous, you do know his approach to love wouldn’t change, right? Same with Gale. Same with Karlach. Same with Lae’zel. None of them would suddenly have to have completely different approaches to love and how they want to show it and how they want to go about it. Wyll can still be replicating the courting, the dancing, the slow burn that he always heard about in bards tales and he could still be polyamorous. There’s this idea that polyamorous love is only able to be expressed in very specific, very narrow ways. That miss the point of what love is.

People don’t act like this with the polyamorous companions, I’ve noticed. You aren’t suddenly bad and misunderstanding the story of Astarion or Shadowheart or Minthara or Halsin for having a strict two person relationship with them, and not expanding into the idea of those characters taking on another partner at some point. If you have Astarion in a strict monogamous relationship, no one says anything. But saying that you have a Tav who’s dating both Karlach and Gale? People are going to talk about you. They’re going to make vague posts. They’re going to talk about how it is Impossible for those characters to Ever be comfortable in a polyamorous relationship and how it is Wrong to protray them as happy in one.

I didn’t think people forgot that the stereotype of monogamy = good and polyamory = bad is still alive and well, but it seems that when it comes to the funny dungeons and dragons video game, it’s okay to prop that stereotype up and get mad when that is possibly challenged.

Now, what about Halsin? He’s a strictly good companion. He cannot fall under the pervious argument, so is he an exception?

No. It’s worse.

Halsin being polyamorous stems in racism. Wood Elves are all described as being polyamorous, and that they do not understand jealousy. And that they do not ever settle with any of their partners. And that the relationships they have are seen as “ doomed to fail “ . This is a stereotype. Commonly associated with indigenous people. That we cannot hold a ‘ proper ‘ relationship and that we always sleep around . We didn’t fit the white model of what a (white) family and a (white) relationship should look like, so the stereotypes and misconceptions started. And, unsurprisingly, ended up as another bit of dnd racism and bioessentialism.

Halsin doesn’t uphold the pervious argument at all, but he shows another part of the discussion that I don’ t think anyone really thought of. The racism stereotypes didn’t vanish when Larian made BG3, they’re all still there. You still have good races and evil races. You still have all the dnd bioessentialism that everyone was so keen to say was gone or just pretended it wasn’t there anymore.

And Halsin is an example of those stereotypes that people are still feeding. So much content with him in it narrows him down to ‘ Big Elf that Fucks and is Horny ‘ or ‘ Big Elf that can be Sexualized no matter What he Does ‘ and it is because Larian didn’t remove the stereotypes in the first place , and fandom doesn’t care enough to take a step back for a second to realize they’re playing into them.

Am I saying you shouldn’t have an ingame polycule with the characters available? No. If it’s cute, and you like it , and it makes sense with the story you’re making for your character, and literally just because you can, go for it! But for the love of god, can we be a bit more careful with how we treat the concept of polyamorous relationships and how we talk about them? Polyamory isn’t just a fandom thing with your ot3s, it’s a real life thing. And we can see how you treat people just having fun with their characters. You understand that, once you get that torn up over the act of making three characters hold hands, it becomes a little bit hard to forget that that is the attitude you hold towards the concept of polyamory when it doesn’t fit the molds you’ve subscribed to.

[its-time-to-write]

i hold it like a grudge - ch. 5

I don’t know why this fic wrecked me so much. I’m literally the author. I know what’s gonna happen. I decided what’s gonna happen. Maybe I’m just tired. also does anyone remember that time I said I hated writing chaptered fics and swearing that each one was an anomaly/the last time I’d ever do it?

table of contents you’re still everything to me

Jamie Tartt is in your kitchen, puttering around so he can make a pot of tea and with an eyebrow slit like it’s 2013 again.

He sent you to go change so you slip on sweatpants and curl up on the sofa.

“Here you are, love,” he says, setting the tea down on the coffee table. He sits on the opposite end of the sofa, a respectable distance away.

“Why didn’t I see you?” you ask, staring out the window. The room is illuminated by the streetlight glow from the kitchen.

“How d’you mean?” responds.

“I visited mum last year. I was there all day. Why didn’t I see you?”

Jamie pauses. “I went early.”

“No, no you didn’t. There weren’t any flowers when I got there, and you said you brought her flowers.”

He’s quiet long enough for you to turn and check if he’s even still in the room.

He is.

“I… saw you,” he says eventually. “Didn’t think we’d be there at the same time, but-” he raises an eyebrow as punctuation. “Anyway, I was behind a tree. Saw you sit down and at first I thought I’d just wait in the car, but you started crying and- and I didn’t know if I should say somethin’ or leave. Did neither, so I just stayed. Placed the flowers and paid my respects once you left.”

You sip your tea in silence.

After a long time you say, “I’m glad you didn’t say anything.”

“She always believed in me,” he says by way of reply. “Even when I was being a little shit, she still made me feel like she wanted me around. Three people I want to make proud the most were her, mummy, and you.”

“Wanted,” you correct. “Wanted to make proud. Mum’s gone, and we’re not even friends.”

“D’you think we ever could be?”

You consider. There’s a part of you that feels like you’re friends already. He’s in your flat for fuck’s sake. 

“I don’t know,” you say. “Honestly I don’t. I’ve only ever loved you, Jamie, and for a long time I couldn’t see the future without you. I still can’t see it, I’m just living day-by-day sometimes.”

He chews his lip. “How can I make it up to you?”

He’s asking all the hard questions tonight.

“I don’t hate you anymore,” you say frankly. “You were there for me when I needed you, and you leaving me was the worst. But it turned out good. And, I dunno, over the last few days I just keep wondering what’s gonna stop you from leaving again? Deciding you want someone else more, or my value means less?”

“Maturity.” He says it slightly drawn out, enunciating the consonants. He has a hint of a smile, which is stupid, because now you have one too.

“Seriously, though, I’m not like that anymore. Went of, was a prick, and it were shit. I’ve never heard mum that mad at me, Jesus Christ. Swore my ear off, she did. Didn’t have real friends, wasn’t happy, drank a lot of vanilla vodka. Keeley broke up with me for cheating on her, too, but not with sex, like; just on a date. Said shit about accountability.” 

He says it the same way he said maturity. 

“Hm,” you say. What else is there to say, really?

“Hm,” you say again as you reach to set your tea down and move to the other end of the couch so you’re pressed up against Jamie’s side.

He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close.

“Stay the night?” you whisper. “I don’t want to be alone and I have a guest bed.” 

Jamie nods.

—

It’s 3am, and you wake up with the sound of your mum saying your name still echoing in your room. You’d been dreaming, showing her the life you’d created and she’d smiled the whole time. She wasn’t wispy, she was the same mum who kicked a football with Jamie, sang horribly off-key with Simon, and convinced Georgie to even give him a chance in the first place. 

Tears pool in the corner of your eye.

I am not drowning. I can do this.

There’s a light tap on the door. “Come in,” you croak.

Jamie pushes it open and sticks his head in. “You’re crying,” he states. “Woke up a minute ago feeling shitty.”

You pat the bed and roll over.

Jamie climbs in under the covers and reaches tentatively for your hand. You let him take it.

“Just because I’m emotionally fragile does not mean that I forgive you,” you tell him tearfully. “I’m just pretending you never left and everything’s fine so I’m not going to hate myself for letting you into my room and letting you see me cry.”

“Alright,” he whispers. “C’mere. We’ll forget about it in the morning.”

You both move closer under the covers. You blame sleep and grief for the kiss you press to his clavicle, and you’re sure you’re dreaming they way he murmured, “How the fuck did I ever leave you?”

—

Jamie is true to his word. He doesn’t say a word when you wake up, just extricates himself from your hold and goes downstairs.

“I’ll be here for today,” he tells you once you drag yourself out of bed. “After that, you can decide how you feel about me. You don’t have to think about it today.”

It’s a four-hour drive to Manchester, and you’re not sure when it was decided that a) Jamie was coming with you, or b) that he’d be the one driving. He stops to pick up breakfast and coffee and doesn’t say a word about eating in his fancy car. You stare out the window and let the music playing over the speakers flow over you. It’s still raining, less than last night but still heavily. 

You grip Jamie’s hand with white knuckles and cry, truly cry in a way you only allow once a year but this time, there’s a new component.

I could’ve had this, you think. You and Jamie, together.

Something new tugs at your chest and you turn to look at Jamie. Tears have gathered in the corners of his eyes, and he’s sniffling a but, trying not to let it show. 

You readjust in your seat so you’re leaning against his arm, and he tilts his head to rest on yours for a fraction of a moment. 

—

Your mum’s place is the same as it always is. Her name, printed in rounded letters. The dates, signifying that she did not spend enough time here. You place down your blanket and sit, back against the headstone as usual with your head tilted up to the sky. Jamie stands a good distance away, just watching with his hands shoved in his pockets. 

“Hi mum,” you begin, voice cracking. “Um, I’m sorry I don’t get up here much. But that’s what kids do, right? Leave the nest and only visit on holidays. 

Things are going well still. I’ve gotten offers for collabs with some brands, so I guess that’s cool. Jamie’s here, he’s by the tree though. I don’t- I don’t know what to do about it, mum. I wish you were here. You always saw things clearer than any of us, and I just don’t know. Turns out I didn’t ever stop loving him. Keeley thinks we have this weird cosmic connection or something. Do you believe in that? I think you might have. 

I- I think we’re going to see Georgie and Simon after this. I don’t really know. I haven’t been thinking straight today, you know. I just miss you.  I want to hug you again and I promise I’m okay on my own, it’s just hard sometimes. I thought- I thought-”

You’re unable to get the rest of the words out. It’s fucking sunny out and it feels wrong, like the world should remember this is a day to mourn a soul who should’ve been around longer. The sky should at least have the decency to cry along with you. 

A hand touches your face to wipe away a tear. You wrap your arms around Jamie’s neck and he just holds you for a minute, an hour, a year. Time might be passing but you’re unaware of it. He’s whispering in your ear, saying, “I’ve got you, it’s alright love, take as much time as you need,” but it’s only sounds to you. Sweet sounds, but not comprehensible words. 

It’s safe, here. It shouldn’t be, here on your mother’s grave with your cheating ex-boyfriend in your arms, but it doesn’t feel like that. 

It feels more like you’ve finally arrived home after years of travel. 

Jamie feels the same as he did before he made it to the Premier League, back when he’d nick flowers from a garden and climb through your window late at night, not like the prideful boy who broke your heart in five minutes over the phone. 

“I’m here as long as you need,” he murmurs, and you believe him. 

You pull away slightly to look him in the face. “I love you,” you say. 

He smiles, but only with his eyes as he swipes a thumb under your eye. “I love you too,” he says. “Don’t think I ever really stopped.”

It’s at that exact moment that the sun disappears behind a cloud and it begins to rain. 

table of contents

[vioartemis]

Two's company, three's a crowd (Part 2)

(Tara Carpenter x fem! reader || Sam Carpenter x fem! reader)

Summary: If you thought your feelings for Tara were gone, you were wrong... Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 Warnings: angst (?), Tara is kind of a bitch in that (sorry, I love her) a/n: expect a part 3 👀 (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

Sam and you had been dating for a few months now. Everything was going well; you both loved each other, you were happy together… Yet you couldn’t help but think about Tara.

Lately, you had started to spend time with her again, and you couldn’t deny you missed it. You missed her. You missed what you had. Which yourself you didn’t understand considering it wasn’t the best situation.

You didn’t know if you should talk about it with Sam. Morally, it would be more correct to do it, but you were sure it would hurt her. On the other hand, if you didn’t tell her and she found out by herself, it would be even worse.

She wasn’t stupid, you were sure she’d notice something was off. And she did notice.

“You know you can tell me if something’s wrong, right?” she told you one day while you were cuddling on her bed

“I-I know, but nothing’s wrong…”

“Y/n…”

She stopped stroking your hair and looked at you seriously.

“… okay maybe not everything is fine…” you sighed and sat up, trying to find out how to phrase it “I love you, I really do… But I think I still have feelings for Tara as well…”

You could see she was hurt, and you felt bad for being the one hurting her.

“I thought you said you were over her…?”

“I thought I was…”

Sam sat beside you, visibly thinking about what to say next.

“… What do we do then? Do we… do we stop here…?”

“I… I don’t want to stop seeing you… I love you, I-”

“But you also love Tara…”

You looked down, biting your lip, your heart sinking in your chest at the thought you might have ruined everything.

“… I think she likes you too”

You looked back at her, frowning.

“What makes you say that?”

“The way she looks at us, at you…” she paused “What are you going to do…?”

“I don’t know… I- I thought about a kind of poly relationship before we started dating, but like- make it work so it wouldn’t be weird…” you said quietly, almost to yourself “I’m a bit lost, but I know that I don’t want to lose you…”

You took her hand in yours. You meant it; you just didn’t know what you’d do if you lost her.

“… Would that make you happy? The ‘poly relationship’, would it make you happy?”

“I- yes, I think so. Why?”

“If it makes you happy… I’m ok to try”

You were stunned by her words, obviously not expecting to hear that. You weren’t even suggesting to do that.

“Y-you’d do that…?”

She nodded.

You looked at her and hugged her tightly.

“Thank you!” you pulled away slightly “If you ever want to stop it, I promise I will. Just tell me. I want you to be happy too”

She smiled and kissed you on the lips.

“I love you” she whispered

“I love you too, Sam”

You were happy that your girlfriend agreed to try the ‘poly relationship’. Now you just had to talk to Tara about it. You just didn’t know how to bring it up. You were currently hanging out in a park near the flat.

“So, how’s it going with Sam?”

Looks like you won’t have to think about how to bring it up.

“It’s… okay. I just…” you took a deep breath “I have feelings for you, Tara… I mean… I have feelings for both of you…”

Hearing that you had feelings for her, Tara felt an ounce of hope come back. Maybe there was a chance, even just a tiny little one, that you would consider dating her if she told you how she felt about you.

“Y/n I- I need to tell you… I’m sorry about everything, about the friends-with-benefits thing, about the way I treated you… I… I’m in love with you, have been for so long, but I was afraid to be hurt again… I… I know it’s a bit weird but… Do you think you could give me a chance? I’m sure we’d work if we tried…”

“Tara, I talked about that with Sam… and she agreed to try a poly relationship” you said, trying to find the right words

“Wha- really? She said that?” Tara asked, surprised

You nodded with a little smile.

“Does that mean…” she paused, uncertain, slightly leaning in “Does that mean I can do that?” she asked in a whisper, lips only inches away from yours

You hummed in response, making her smile. She put a hand on your cheek and kissed your lips softly.

<><><><> ♡ <><><><>

It had been a few weeks since that moment, and everything was going well. At least that’s what you thought.

Truth is nothing was going well. Both Carpenter sisters were jealous of each other; you tried to spend an equal amount of time with each one of them, but you couldn’t do the same things, and every time one felt like her sister was treated better than her.

They were also fighting a lot when you were not around, like that night.

You went out to buy more tampons, and the two were already fighting.

“It’s not fair!”

“What do you mean ‘it’s not fair’?”

“She should spend more time with me! You had her for the past months, you could share!”

Sam scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“I was there for her when she needed me because someone broke her heart! If you wanted her so bad you should’ve just told her how you felt! And you could make an effort, we’re doing that because it makes her happy”

Tara rolled her eyes as well.

“Yeah, and she’s happier with me”

“And why would that be?”

“Well first cause I’m better in bed, obviously. Don’t you hear all the pretty noises she makes when I fuck her?”

“See, that’s the difference between us. I don’t fuck her. I make love to her. I don’t-”

They both heard the door opening and went quiet, only glaring at each other, before Tara walked towards you.

“Hi babe” she kissed you “Wanna go to my room?”

You smiled.

“Sure!”

You took off your jacket and shoes and went to Sam to give her a kiss as well.

“See you later tonight?” she asked

“Of course, I promised you we would watch that movie” you smiled brightly

She smiled a bit too, and kissed your forehead.

“I’ll make popcorn and we can cuddle, does that sound good?”

“It does!”

Tara rolled her eyes before tugging slightly on your arm, impatient to have you all to herself.

As soon as you both were in her room, Tara closed and locked the door before kissing you again more passionately. Her hands were on your hips, keeping you close, before her fingers slipped under your shirt and her lips dipped down to your neck.

“Tara…”

“Hm?”

She kept on kissing your neck, pushing you slightly so you were sat on her bed, before sitting on your lap, her lips still on your skin.

“W-wait” you pushed her away gently “I can’t do this right now…”

“Why?” she pouted “Cause you have the movie with Sam after?”

“… yeah… Sorry I-”

Tara groaned and caressed your cheeks.

“Y/n, I need to talk to you… This whole situation is… annoying. I don’t say that to hurt you, I just wish we could be exclusive… I don’t like having to share you with Sam… It’s killing me when you’re with her… Please babe… I know I can make you more happy than she can…”

You were a bit shocked by her words, not expecting that at all.

“I uh… Did you have that on your mind for a long time…?” you asked hesitantly

“It’s been some time, yes… So what do you say?”

“I- I need some time Tara… I… shit… I thought it was going well…”

She kissed you softly.

“It’s okay, I’ll help you talk to Sam if that’s the problem”

“N-no it’s not that… Just… I need to process… Sorry…”

Tara nodded and kissed you again, until a knock on the door was heard.

“Popcorn is ready, we can start the movie now if… if you’re free” Sam said to you, behind the door

You gave Tara an apologetic look.

“Can’t you stay a bit longer?” she asked

“I don’t want her to think I don’t want to spend time with her, sorry…”

You gave her a last kiss on the lips before leaving her room and going to Sam’s.

As soon as you walked in her room, a smiled appeared on her face. She patted the spot next to her, inviting you to sit with her. When you did, she wrapped an arm around your waist and kissed your forehead.

You started to watch the movie, your head resting on Sam’s shoulder.

She could tell you weren’t paying attention to the screen at all.

“Is everything okay?” she finally asked, pausing the movie

You bit your lip, hesitating.

“What do you think about our relationship?” you asked quietly

Sam took a moment to think before answering.

“As long as you’re happy-”

“That’s not what I asked, Sam… I want to know how you feel about it”

“I…” she sighed “I don’t like it. It’s hard to imagine you with her, honestly. I know it’s selfish, but I have trouble accepting the idea that you’re doing… what we’re doing, with her too… I love you, Y/n. I love you more than anything, but I don’t think I can keep this going… It’s just become too much… I’m not asking you to choose me over Tara; I would never. I just- I can’t do it anymore… But again, if you’re happy with her I understand-”

“Sam” you cut her off, taking her hand in yours “Why didn’t you tell me earlier…? I told you I would stop this if you didn’t like it…”

“It’s just… You just looked so happy… I didn’t want to be the one to ruin that happiness…”

“You wouldn’t have ruined anything!” you shook your head “I shouldn’t have suggested this poly relationship in the first place, it was selfish, I’m sorry… I love you, I just need you…”

You felt bad to do this to Tara, to have given her hope, then crash it down. But with what she told you earlier, and her way to live this relationship, you understood that you had a very different view of a relationship. She wanted you like you want a Gucci bag or Eras Tour tickets -like something to possess.

You didn’t doubt she might have feelings for you, but her way of showing it wasn’t what you would call healthy.

Both Carpenter sisters basically told you the same thing, about not wanting this relationship to continue, but at the same time it was very different.

Now you knew what you wanted -who you wanted.

You wanted Sam.

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